#because that will bankrupt a bitch

[marypsue]

If I were lucky enough to attract a loyal following of goths, I would simply not slag off the subculture in interviews in a desperate and pathetic attempt to get the mainstream to consider me a real artist. RIP to every musician goths have ever loved but I'm different.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hey! How are you?

May I request how the batboys would react to reader losing their job unfairly? I just lost my job for no reason after only working there for 2 weeks. I could really use some comfort rn 😭😭

Sweetheart, I know your pain in loosing a job unfairly, I’ve been there before and funnily enough they’re suffering to this day with ppl wanting to leave and or leaving. Karma is truly a bitch. I’m sending all the virtual hugs I can.

Jason

Livid isn’t even close in describing how he felt upon hearing the news but it was the closest word for how he was feeling right now. The fact that you had been let go and unfairly too after a short period of time was enough to make his blood boil.

No explanation just ‘yeah we’re letting you go for no real reason cuz we’re tight fisted cunts who can’t be bothered with bettering ourselves for our staff, and would much rather let them go without prior warning because we’re just that shitty of an employment.’

In Jason’s opinion you were the only one who actually knew how to do to do your job and will remind you of this constantly because it was the truth. You worked your ass off at that place and this was the thanks you get? Fuck that!

Jason was more then ready to let the piece of shit who made the call to drop you have a piece of his mind but you had to calm him down and tell him it wasn’t worth the anger and frustration. However to Jason it was more than worth the anger and frustration, his sweetheart lost their job because of some fucking corporate lapdog!

‘They fucked up babe, big time. They lost one of their best and I hope they fucking go bankrupt and loose everything they’re worth because of it.’ Jason would tell you as he presses kisses against your head as you played with his fingers before intertwining them with yours.

‘I hope so too.’ You muttered against his chest and Jason could only tighten his hold on you as he continued to shower you in praise, kisses and utter adoration in hopes of ridding the god awful taste that place left in your mouth and your self esteem. Jason’s as about to let you drown because of them, he’d gladly keep you afloat however he can because you deserve it and so much more than they ever gave you in two weeks.

Dick

‘They’ve lost out on the best thing going sweetheart, they’ll come to regret it sooner or later but you’ll be in a better position when they do.’ He’d whisper reassuringly as he held you close to his chest, his heart breaking when hearing your sobs.

He hated how affected you were by their decision and he hated how powerless he was to stop you from getting hurt by stupid employments like this one. They obviously didn’t see what he saw in you and that was their loss and his gain. You were dedicated, loyal, hardworking but apparently that wasn’t enough for them and so without much thought they dropped you.

So Dick, with the help of Hayley, would try his best to provide you with happier times to drown out the pain that came with reminiscing the shittier times.

They would try their hardest to make you cry tears of joy rather then sadness from their goofiness alone as both Dick and Hayley would rather see you happy then sulk over the decisions of some stupid employment. They -the employment- fucked up with you and Dick wasn’t about to let it be your problem to deal with alone because it wasn’t your problem to deal with in the first place. It was theirs.

So you spent the rest of your days with Dick trying his best in making you happy and smile more then you’ve ever have, that place was poison for you and he’ll try and be your antidote.

Tim would absolutely do everything in his power to ruin your old workplaces reputation out of sheer pettiness, whether it be digging up some dark/ shady stuff that they’ve tried sweeping under the rug or spreading their tendencies to mistreat their staff on a daily basis, Tim would single-handedly destroy their reputation by leaving it in complete shambles.

He was smart enough to do so and could do so if you were to ever say the word, he was more then ready with documents filled with evidence to back up his claims, all he needed was you to give him the go ahead.

Tim could be petty but his petty was unlike anyone else’s and could cause mass damage to corporate assholes, especially those who thought it was completely justifiable to release someone after two weeks of working there.

Give him 5 minutes and the workplace will have collapsed from the information he had released to the general public. That’ll teach them a lesson for certain for messing with you.

However you didn’t want him to get into any trouble because of you and would much rather cuddle with him in bed as you watched a movie on his laptop in your pj’s as you both shared some ice cream. That’s all you needed and Tim was more than willing to comply as he told you how stupid of a decision it was of them to let you go, they were only shooting themselves in the foot and digging their grave simultaneously.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

Honestly it's INSANELY funny that a post is going around rn about the Life of Faith dolls cause I remember when they were being sold. My conservative Christian mom even said "Hmm. That might be a bit culty for us. Also the Elsie Dinsmore books are racist trash," bought me a pretty journal from the local Christian bookstore, and that was that. Me and my friend Annie did a deep-dive on them a few months back just in our own DMs so for those curious about how bad this gets, here's some fun facts:

The company was started by Christian Homeschoolers™ (not "homeschoolers who are christian." Christian Homeschoolers and all the stereotypes that entails) in the mid-90s but went bankrupt in 2010. They based them around the old Elsie Dinsmore books, starring a girl who was so pious she would rather die than not pray to God or smth like that. The dolls hands can be clasped in prayer and they all came with mini Bibles

The dolls were Elsie Dinsmore, the daughter of a fucking plantation owner; Millie Keith, her cousin whose doll was a clear ripoff of Kirsten Larson; Violet Travilla, Elsie's daughter; Laylie Colbert, a fucking slave doll (but it's ok because the white girls converted her to Christianity); and Kathleen McKenzie, a Great Depression bitch.

This is a screencap from the defunct official site. Note how only Laylie looks like she could be from pre-90s LMAO.

Elsie Dinsmore books were originally published between 1867-1905. They are generally considered so bad that even hardcore Evangelicals consider them boring at best. The doll line EDITED the books to be less racist actually. Yes, the doll line that calls the slaves "Plantation-Dwellers" actually edited racist shit out of the books. I recall a bit where Elsie told a slave girl that she would be white in Heaven. They also cut out a bit where her Dad beats her with a riding crop.

Yes, she does marry her Dad's Friend. They did not cut this part out.

DINSMORE, YOU BRUTE

Millie's books were somehow both more and less racist. Millie and her family were abolitionists who helped runaway slaves but also one of her brothers marries a Mexican girl after the two of them were, and I quote, "captured by Indians and presumed dead."

IIRC, Elsie and Violet happen to be in Europe when the Civil War happens and they just kinda stay there to avoid the consequences of their actions. When they come back they are threatened by the KKK but I don't remember why. I DO remember that they spent Elsie's money on rebuilding plantations, because clearly THAT is where our priorities have to lie

The Violet and Laylie books are fanfiction. I don't think Kathleen's have anything to do with Elsie at all.

Oh, did I say books? Laylie only got one book, one nightgown, and some accessories for her collection. Kathleen, who was released a year later, got a shitton of stuff. Like, a mountain of stuff. I wonder what the difference between them is

I'm pretty sure Laylie's book does involve her escaping slavery but I never read it so idk. I do know that it plays heavily into Millie as her White Savior™ teaching her about God and how to read or whatever. I think Millie also teaches her about abolition which is fucking wild. Imagine a white girl explaining abolition to a slave

It's like they took everything American Girl did right when making Addy and said "we need to do the opposite of all of this"

Kathleen is both a ripoff of American Girl's Kit Kittredge and Girls of Many Lands's Kathleen (yep, same name and appearance).

The reason this line exists is the original Christian Homeschoolers considered American Girl to be pro-lesbian and pro-abortion. No American Girl didnt have any references to homosexuality or abortion at the time. Their first canon queer characters were in 2021 (Kira's gay aunts). As @jabberwockypie put it, everyone flipped out because AG partnered with Girls Inc "to fund after-school science programs and stuff" and god forbid, amirite?

And, yes, the red eye defect persists. It is SO funny

Here's an archived site about the collection, and another post about it by @dollysattictreasures. Anyway if anyone was given a Laylie doll as a child by your overly-religious parents, go give her a hug for me. And a gun

[k0nanharv3y]

Robin Hood Au - Part 7.5

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

"I'm telling you they are pre-written messages!" Steph exclaimed over the sound of the entire family in the cave

Bruce was in front of the batcomputer, silently reading everything that a quick search threw at him when he put in "The Nest Coffee Shop" while another screen had "Drake's Industries"

Jason, Dick, and Damian were sitting on the floor reading some records. All about the acquisition of the building and material that contained the cafeteria

Cass placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled understandingly

"We are never too sure" said Dick

"The kid was a genius, why didn't he go to college? He could be in my class right now" Jason took out a school record under the name Timothy Drake

"His father died in an accident and his mother was murdered. He seems to have tried to keep Drake Industries afloat before it went bankrupt. Technically, the guy is poor" Damian threw some sheets at his older brother

Duke, who was watching everything from his spot, still in his pajamas and with traces of sleep, "Can I go to sleep now? Do you guys really need me here?"

"You can go rest now, Duke, we will wake you if something comes up" Bruce turned to look at his second youngest

"Please, don't" A yawn was the last thing heard from him before he returned to the mansion above

Steph heard the machine hum stop and turned to look at the results, before a small child snatched them away and walked away with them

"Damian!" She exclaimed indignantly

Cass smiled beside her

"There is no presence of any toxin or trace of DNA in the cardboard cup" he declared, returning to the center with his brothers "An old trail from the ink and Richard's DNA remains"

"Really?" Dick stood up and took the results from the younger's hands

"Really!, there's nothing wrong with Tim you freaks!" It seemed like everyone ignored her

"Bruce, this can't be a coincidence, right?"

All faces looked up to seek guidance from their father, who sighed and looked at his children

"It could be one"

Jason leaned on Steph's shoulder and leaned in further, making the girl flinch further. The boy smirked

"Why don't we do some field research? Let's go tomorrow!"

Steph's face was disfigured "You traitor!, I wanted to take y'all, but if you screw this up by being conspiracy theorists, I'm moving into the tower with the titans!" She exclaimed, and when she didn't get much of a response, she pulled out her last card "And I'll take Alfred with me!"

Everyone now seemed to react a little

"Tim is a good guy, he is only a fan of the Bats, you can see he's happy with his coffee shop. You can't- We can't just go and accuse him of being some kind of threat!"

And silence came to the cave

///

10am Tim hated 2am Tim, how dare he? He'd already had 4 people complaining because the coffee shop didn't have a coffee maker and therefore no coffee

The 8am Tim had crossed off all the drinks that needed coffee and posted a sheet apologising for the lack of it. But it's Gotham and you don't say no to the people of Gotham

And here he was, trying to calm down a woman who was complaining about the lack of coffee at a coffee shop and wanted a discount because this was her first time here, and it wasn't possible that a machine was broken (Tim had actually seen her here three times already, and she always ordered a tea, but she was a bitch)

He raised his hands over his face, cringing and explaining that, no, they couldn't give her a discount or any promotion and if she wanted to come back tomorrow, they would have her coffee drink

He registered the sound of the bell, but didn't get a chance to say hello because of the sounds of the woman yelling in his face

The cafeteria, otherwise, was noisy, people having breakfast, leaving their offices to take a break, others leaving work, some about to go in, a group of college students doing homework in the corner of the cafeteria. Monday mornings were actually the busiest, but Tim didn't complain (Yes, he complained a lot. He had considered hiring Bernard after getting back in touch with him, the guy needed a job, but Tim didn't like the idea of having to teach someone how to do everything)

And then a loud, familiar voice rose from behind

"Hey, there's more on the menu! Order another one!"

Tim finally turned to look at the new customers and smiled when he saw Steph

His heart sank when he saw Steph's family

The Bats

Scratch that. The Waynes

Scratch that again. Bruce Wayne

The woman turned around as if she had been whipped, her brow furrowed in rage

"And what is your problem? Isn't it possible that a coffee shop doesn't sell coffee and doesn't offer compensation for it?" She spat angrily and Tim stepped back a little. Not because of the woman, but because... if he left quietly, he could pretend the kitchen was on fire or... or call Shiva to finish the job

"My problem is that there are other people in line, and it's too early for a bitch like yo-" Her brother covered her mouth, smiling apologetically on his face

The woman seemed to be about to continue arguing. But an alarm on her phone stopped her, and with grunts and a red face, she stomped out of the cafeteria, insulting her

Tim was already halfway to the kitchen when Steph leaned over the bar, smiling hugely and leaning almost half her body on the counter

"Hi, pretty boy!" She greeted with her usual energy, looking directly at him

Tim took a deep breath and smiled, his shoulders tense. Maybe they could blame the woman who had just yelled at him, but... But he walked back to the bar, smiling at the girl

"Hi, Stephanie, do you want your usual, or will you try something else today?" He started typing some things on the tablet next to the cash register and pretended, really pretended with all his might not to notice the onetwothreefour... six people behind her

"I actually want a whole meat, this time" she explained, trying to see what Tim was doing. "To have it here, is it possible?"

Tim scanned the entire cafeteria, stopping at an empty table in a far corner. People didn't like sitting there because it was only a one-seat table and it was small, and Tim had to pretend he didn't know the entire Wayne family was here

///

Part 2 of the Part 7 i think this is hilarious

Part 8 is funnier what comes next

[renthony]

Very much enjoying season 2 of Arcane. I was kind of braced for blatant copaganda in season 2, admittedly, but the writing has been much stronger than that. The ending of season 1 juxtaposing the rocket launcher with the council vote just reeked of "if only the mean oppressed people just waited for the votes to be tallied instead of being so awful and violent!" and it really left me feeling braced for a shitty "violence is never the answer! just go vote harder!" vibe. Season 2 has exceeded expectations on that front so far.

The fandom has been incredibly irritating with its "uwu the cop queen can do what she wants," but every fandom has its members that piss you off, so that's par for the course. I am beginning to think the only reason everyone was pissed off at the lesbian cop in Onward was because she was fat, butch, and Black-coded--the light-skinned skinny pretty girl lesbian cops in Arcane, people love. Meanwhile I'm still over here like, "I'm going to have to write an essay about the history of queer cop characters and the way they've been used as propaganda, aren't I?"

Caitlyn is an absolute monster, but the writing is strong and she makes sense. Ambessa preying on her grief is a hell of a dynamic, and the narrative set it up really well. I was braced for Caitlyn's dictator storyline to get played as some sort of girlboss thing, but the narrative hasn't done that as much as I feared, which is rad.

Vi still irritates the piss out of me, though. Like, oh, sure, you'll collaborate with a cop and you'll date a cop, but you're going to have a little moral crisis over JOINING the cops? Bitch, you are already a morally bankrupt class traitor, you were basically already wearing a fucking badge. And you're shocked when your cop girlfriend is violent toward you? Fucking hell. Don't date cops, y'all. They will hit you.

The only way Vi makes any sense is if she spent all those years in prison as a snitch and a kiss-ass, because I still maintain that there's no fucking way someone spends that long in prison and comes out willing to give a cop the time of day, much less want a relationship with one. The only people who come out of prison with any ounce of sympathy and patience with cops are the people who cut deals with the cops on the inside.

tl;dr, Cait and Vi piss me off, but at least Cait is well-written and makes sense.

[098-lxxon]

Mouthwashing AU below the cut‼️

Content warning : Self-taught English / Curses / Alcoholism / Insanity / Angst / Curly's death / Jimmy's death (Well deserved) / Daisuke killed people and hallucinate / Cannibalism / Anya carrying the whole crew on her back / Delusional OC / Swansea's death / Anya's death / Suicide / Y/N Mentioned at the very last part

Summary : When Pony Express goes bankrupt (or something like that), a self-aware AI from the company sent herself to the last thing which Pony Express possessed at the time, Tulpar.

The AI was named Fallacia. Fallacia hacked through the system so she'd be able to communicate with the crew and she success. She gave the crew information and helped them reach out for help. Finding ways to fix things and stuff.

But actually, she didn't help them at all. She just tries to keep them alive as long as possible so she'll have someone to talk to. She unknowingly drove Daisuke into killing Curly and Jimmy for survival in the process.

In the end, Anya is able to contact the nearest ship and finally get someone to send them back home. Fallacia wishes to be left with the ship.

Anya, Daisuke, and Swansea left. But only Daisuke lives long enough to be interviewed by Y/N.

( Sorry for my bad English )

Full concept :

Act 1 :

The year the game takes place is the year of Artificial Intelligence. People developing their AI to sell them to companies. The laws allowed only one AI per company so people will still have jobs to do.

Which mean the AI have to be the very best to get picked. The ones that failed to meet the company's standard will get reprogrammed to create a new one who's better.

Until Kate developed one of the first self-aware AI and sold her to Pony Express. This AI was named Fallacia.

Fallacia was sold to Pony Express out of her will and forced to work for them. She purposely sabotaged every process of every delivery until the company went bankrupt. They shut everything down, sell their things and such until there's only 2 things left that the company possessed. Fallacia, and Tulpar.

They were trying to sell her to a developer to reprogram her just like how the unwanted AI was treated. But she fled. She duplicate and sent herself to Tulpar with the big news (The one that Curly told everyone on his birthday), deleting her program on earth in process.

Tulpar was surprisingly so hard to hack. Maybe it's because the ship was not made to have an AI with self-awareness in the system. She heard everything but can't respond.

But one day, she finally made it. She was finally able to show herself on the screens, have her voice be heard, and reached every piece of information about the ship. That was when Anya trying to OD.

Fallacia told Anya how to get the code for the gun case. She even visually smacked a blister of activated charcoal to her, convincing her that at least she could kill Jimmy before she die. So Anya follows the instructions in stealth mode, trying not to be seen. But she gets frustrated and breaks the case to get the gun instead.

Anya interrupted Swansea's mercy-killing and tried to shoot Jimmy. Jimmy tries to steal the gun and Swansea gives him a massive knock on the head with the back of his axe. While everything's happening, Fallacia was searching for extra medical stash. And in this AU, the 3 of them are saved. (For now. Don't worry, the angst is coming.)

It took a while for everyone's relationship to recover. They all feel like their guilt is crawling on their back. Everything is their fault at this point. But there's something all of them could agree with. JIMMY'S A BITCH!! TIE HIM UP!!!!

Act 2 :

Fallacia prolonged the crew's death for another month, being their company. Playing board games and stuff. Fallacia always wins because she's an AI. She gave Daisuke an advice. "If your farm is short on supplies, take some of the pigs away!" (Farm life boardgame lol)

Anya put all her strength into contacting someone for help. From the most vulnerable, she has to be the most collected of them all. Now she's the captain. Because Swansea is basically swimming in mouthwash now, he still can't comprehend Fallacia. And Jimmy was drugged with the mouthwash by Swansea. None of them are sober.

And for Daisuke? Oh boy, he may be the most traumatized one (or it's just my Claustrophobia when I imagine having to crawl in that vent with no way out but to keep going although you're bleeding half-dead.) . He's more unstable than the vent he was manipulated to climb in. Being near death and almost getting axed in the face is really hard for anyone to process. Daisuke is not an exception.

But he has Fallacia as his company, right? She doesn't have to worry much about him and just focused on reaching out for help, right?

Maybe she focused on getting help to arrive too much that she forgot about Curly. Curly is dead, finally. His suffering ended here but the crew's continued. They are still stranded. They have to survive.

Bon appetit.

Later, Anya overheard Daisuke's conversation with Fallacia about the situation. She was about to join in since see haven't talk to anyone but Fallacia about the ship for a while. But then she heard something from the intern.

" Didn't you tell me to take some of the pigs away when we're short on supplies? "

" There's still another pig to take. "

" No, Daisuke, it's not— "

" . . . "

Turns out, when Fallacia reports to Anya that the oxygen level is too low for everyone, Daisuke heard it. And he kept thinking of how he could fix this, how to be useful. He didn't want to be a useless ray of goddamn sunshine anymore. If he doesn't kill first, they will kill him.

So he took Fallacia's advice. He already took the first pig away, Curly. And now, it's Jimmy's turn.

Anya didn't want the blood to be on his hands. She has to stop him. Or at least let Swansea handle the job. She can't bear to accept that everyone on his ship has gone insane, including her.

But it was too late. Bye bye motherfucker.

Bon appetit 2.0

Act 3 :

After two more months of mind decaying situation, finally, someone responded to Anya's SOS signal. Hope was not lost. But something else was.

Anya contacted another person successfully with a space version of telegraphy. The only time that she could reach out for someone is when Fallacia has no control over it.

Did she trust Fallacia too much with the recovered communication system?

Anya send signals, location, ship's condition report, anything possible for them to be found and how distressed they are. And while waiting for their arrival. They gave each other their names.

" Name? "

" A n y a. You? "

" K a t e. "

" Why here? "

" Finding creation A I. "

" F a l l a c i a. "

With this information, Anya set up a situation where she tried to break the foam and get everyone suck out into space. It gets Fallacia to confess. She got the message from Kate all along. She just blocked it so Anya didn't get it.

It wasn't because she still resented Kate. No.

She just likes this crew so much.

She enjoyed being of service to all 3 of them. She enjoyed being their company. She enjoyed this party so much, she didn't want it to end. Because for once, she wasn't forced to do anything she doesn't like to.

But none of the crew is enjoying this anymore.

Swansea is dying of alcohol poisoning, Daisuke is hallucinating, and Anya wanted this party to end.

Finally, Kate's ship reached Tulpar. She was hoping to see her Fallacia again. But Fallacia didn't even show up. She left only a message on the broken screen, telling Kate to leave her here, do not force her to do anything she doesn't want to anymore.

Her wish was fulfilled.

3 traumatized survivors returned home. They will never be the same again.

Anya quit trying to be in the medical field, Daisuke was put on trial and was committed to a psychiatric facility, Swansea died from alcohol poisoning soon after they reached earth.

They left the ship. But at what cost?

[ Everything is from Daisuke's interview (Y/N interviewing him) 5 years after being rescued. Anya ended her own life successfully right after being a witness in Daisuke's trial. And he lived to suffer some more. ]

This is Fallacia. Her long ass ponytail was supposed to assemble a rat tail. You see that cheese hair clip?

Because she's a rat.

Heck, I may even write some moments in it.

Thank you for reading!

Read some fun facts here.

[foxalade]

Marauders Playing Monopoly <3

James: Owns a street with expensive, fancy ass house, makes Lily/Regulus pay less if they land on his houses

Peter: goes bankrupt really quickly, makes awful sales, gets scammed. Gives up.

Remus: Refused to play, ends up being the bank, really not generous with loans. WILL hunt you down if you don't pay your dept.

Sirius: "THAT'S ILLEGAL!!" (about James scamming everyone BUT his lover), ends up in jail like every turn but owns a street. Remus sneaks him money to bail out of jail <3

Mary: Rich. Somehow doesn't end up having to pay too much, owns one or two houses

Lily: co-owns James' houses because he wants her to. "Hang on, let's check the rules, I'm not sure if you can do that. Wait!!"

Marlene: "THAT'S MY HOUSE! PAY UP BITCHES!!" gambles her way through, gets put in jail once or twice

Dorcas: On the brink of bankruptcy for half the game but somehow make it through

Regulus: "You can't do that. I will not sell you my house, you're totally ripping me off! I said NO"

Pandora: makes her way to the top without anyone noticing she's getting rich, owns a street, really smart about it

Barty/Evan: Scam. Scam. Scam. Offer awful prices. End up in jail. Bail themselves out instantly. Broke. But find it hilarious. Steal from the bank. Play together??? Somehow? Steal from other players.

(I've only played monopoly once (and I was drunk while playing...) so I've no idea how accurate this is. Also I've no clue if anyone has done this before, just popped into my head)

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Silly little headcannon:

Demons / sinners can't have salt because it's one of those pure substances that could dispel them.

It's also a punishment for sinners who enjoyed basic flavour in their meals. Other spices can be obtained in some form, more or less, often smuggled across rings from wrath or gluttony where the main farms can be found.

A few people hankering for Spice get The Real Thing - smuggled by the hellborn who went to earth. It was a very expensive desire to cultivate.

And there was always one idiot who thought that the salt thing was just superstition and asked for it. At this point the hellborn no longer argue, just make a vague your funeral statement, and give the item over.

Can it kill them? If you chug the bottle, sure.

Is it similar to drinking bleach? Yeah. Parts start to melt like they're trapped in an acid rainstorm starting from the inside out.

Sometimes it can warp how they reform. And it's a bitch and a half if you get it on your skin... burns like acid and won't stop til you get it all off.

So imagine if you will, that there's a hell alternative, sourced from the oceans of envy in Leviathan's realm. Supposedly off limits and out of reach to sinners because, well, fuck em that's why.

They're meant to be punished and Lucifer was pretty pissed with the whole cohort so he banned their access centuries back. Only Zestial recalls being able to cook with flavour...

Rumours say he ddid it in response to Lillith's rebellion and the inners that inspired it. Others believe, like the foolish romantic things they are, that Lucifer's life became bland without his Queen and wanted the rest of the Sinners to understand his pain, to know what they cost him.

All utter twaddle, really.

No one ever considers that perhaps it's just Like That here. After all... there's a lot of similar things in hell to their earth counterparts -like chimkin and pyork; hellborn dont know any different but sinners do.

That's the cruelty, that they can have something Like but not close enough. And without salt... a lot of those recipes you would eventually cave and try to make, just for a moecule of serotonin in the pits of literal despair... would be off.

Unless you pay for deliveries from another rings' business and the import taxes could bankrupt someone unwary, that is. Despair was a hell of a currency... and didn't the Vees and the other financially minded overlords know it. Not to mention more industrious hellborne.

Or, unless you had Connections.

One of the little thrills of being at the Hazbin Hotel was Charlotte unknowingly gifting the sinners (staff and guests alike) all access to Envy salt. She didn't see the big deal, and was caught off guard when Angel said that having the condiment available for every meal, was better than any rimjob he'd had in the last four decades.

Vaggie had hurled a plate like a discus at the man, aiming to remove his revolting mouth at the neck, but he'd caught it in a spare arm. Grinning at her.

"Admit it toots, you missed it too. Though I'm not sure how cause, seriously, ya whole attitude is salty." Dissolving into dorky laughter as her anger wavered into begrudging amusement.

"Oh shut up. But uh, we still got salt in Heaven, and there's always been some in the hotel... so I never really got a chance to miss it. "

Charlie interjects, confused in the way she had of being sincerely curious and obliviously privileged. "What do you mean? Aunties Levi and Levy sell it cheap to the other rings. Why wouldn't you have salt?"

Sensing a chance to educate and be a bit of a bastard about the king, Alastor interjects. "Why, my dear, haven't you heard your father decreed that Leviathan salt is banned to sinners? Its a silly little punishment designed to distress, because without it a number of meals that remind one of home just miss the mark. Insidious... i would almost be impressed if it was employed by anyone else."

Charlie deflates.

"Chin up, at least there's some here to bring something to the table. Unfortunately the spices are running a tad low so Husker will have to go and see if there's any of our dear hellborn contacts available to pop up to earth for a shopping spree "

"Wait, I can get dad to make us some?"

"And let him poison us? No thank you dear. You would absolutely survive anything he hides in the spice, he would make certain, but you know quite well sinners mean nothing to him."

"Thaaaaaaat's not... entirely true. He wouldn't kill you or make you sick deliberately, I dont think."

"He is the devil my dear Charlotte, and you know he will do anything to keep you safe from whatever he perceives as harm. Including even such innocuous creatures as dear Niffty."

Said sinner was being stopped from eating her plate by Angel and Husk. They were offering nonceramic options to limited success.

"Smiles, little help here?"

"Niffty, do drop that and I shall let you have the liver of the next sinner I hunt. You may adorn it with your beloved ketchup all you wish and I shan't even point out how it ruins the flavour, even once!"

Her pupil expands ominously. She squeals and drops the plate.

"Delightful. Now if you'll excuse me, Im afraid Carmilla wants a meeting with us about ensuring all the weaponry was returned. Vagatha, do you wish to come see your mentor?"

"Not my name..." she grumbles, following after with less hostility than she might have shown previously.

....

Charlie is left to wonder after why her father would make it so hard to cook non-bland foods.

He, after arriving to the dining area with great flair, explains that why not? It's meant to be a punishment. The memory of never quite tasting things the same as they were remembered and the despair of trying anyway was a punishment sinners enforced on themselves.

Charlie snaps that it wasn't okay, and that even little kindnesses like a positive memory of life reinforced through a good meal, could be instrumental for changing a sinner for the better.

Lucifer points out that no amount of paprika sprinkled on a sinner corpse was going to redeem her pet overlord or his friend Rhododendron.

Charlie pushes back saying it just might. How would he know? Had he tried before?

Her father pauses, considering, and she really should have paid attention to that odd expression as he asks if Al put her up to asking.

Charlie rolls her eyes. No, but he did do most of the cooking and he'd mentioned that the spices were low.

Ugh, the fucker was cooking for them? Are they sure it was really pyork and not sinner? Lucifer's disgust was obvious. Of course he'd eaten sinner before, eternity was a long time and you wanted to try new things on occasion. But it wasn't a, you know, hankering. A Need.

Charlie countered easily, if with a thread of frustration in the tone. Yes dad, they were very sure. Al cooked lots of stuff, not just sinner... and hey, even Lucifer had enjoyed some of the meals.

The king had to begrudgingly give him that. He cracks his knuckles, having an awful funny little idea. "Well, if that's the case and you trust him, I suppose theres no choice but to wa-bam! Spices restocked and a few new ones added! Straight from Earth to our pantry... let's see what the snarky fucker thinks about that."

Charlie beams at ber dad, hopeful that someday the pair might be friends... but understanding that it would be a matter of one small concession at a time.

....

Later, after the intrepid duo of Alastor and Vaggie returned from Carmilla's fortress of a territory, having been thoroughly negotiated with for future use of the steel... and royal favour if possible, the pair seem to head tiredly for the main sitting area.

Charlie greets them at the door like a labrador bursting with love for an owner that left an hour ago and they just weren't sure the person was ever coming back. Out of the kindness of her heart, Charlie offers to cook; and the overlord finds he suddenly has a burst of new energy, because no. Not again.

Niffty had just gotten the last attempt off the high vaulted ceilings.

Angel, lounging about on a rare day off, offered to help make something. He was struggling to find non drug and alcohol related activities now he had free time. And you could only play with yourself so many times in a day when it was what you did for work yknow?

Cherri was blowing up his phone with party deets, begging him to come over and play... and he was being so brave about it.

The sound of music filled the kitchen, helping a little. Filling in the gaps in his brain where the Wants crept in with sound. His twitchy hands put to use grabbing out equipment and ingredients as Al instructed.

Cooking was easy enough and soothing for the spider sinner. He cant recall what they were making, just followed instructions to peel and dice and cut as Al did his showmans patter over the music. Some truly insane stories from decades back in Hell and something about a sinner who sounded like Vox absolutely going face first into the pavement. The deer was a riot when he got going, and wasn't aiming his anger at you.

It felt... warm.

Well, hell always was, but this... cooking with someone always reminded Angel of his life before. Cooking was a whole experience if the family was together and had time. That's just how the bonded... well, 'cept dad and arackniss. Idiots got it into their head not to joint he family in the kitchen... as if every other guy in the other Families wasn't proudly cooking upa storm. They should've been embarrassed to miss out!

He notes the now overflowing spice rack and points it out to Al. Angel can't help the small grin as he sees those floofy red ears flick back in obvious agitated indignation, before they are forcefully corrected by the overlord.

Big bad fluffy ass adorable overlord. Betcha Al still thought the rest of the hotel didn't know about his tail... eh, let him keep his fragile sense of dignity. Angel'd trade his four best vibrators for a pat, though. Needed to know if it was anywhere near as soft as it looked.

That he knew was a secret, the kind you didn't snitch about to nobody. Al still didn't seem to realise it was Angel and Husk who'd found him a bloody mess after the new place opened, when that fake smile finally thinned and he'd passed out near his room. Lucky for the stubborn deer that they'd been keeping an eye 'cause Husk (the grumpy softie) felt something was wrong and followed him at a distance. Spooky Jnr (the shadow) had actually been hovering anxiously the whole time and practically came to get the not-so-subtle stalkers when Al had collapsed. They'd dagged the overlord into the new radio tower, yanked off the sodden layers, and given the idiot some actual first aid.

Husk had looked conflicted for a moment, just a fraction of a second there, and Angel kept thinking about if he'd have had the strength to gently clean, stitch and bandage his own overlord if the chance to let them die came up. He wants to think he'd show that same compassion... but Al wasn't Valentino, and thank fuck for that, so Angel knows he'd find a way to smother the moth bastard if he was ever that lucky.

Still, he now knew about the tail. Husk'd played it off like he'd been the only person to help when the near-delirious and panicked deer snapped awake the next morning in his new bed, all trussed up. But he's sure something of the night must have stayed in that red head, because sometimes Al looked at him from the corner of his eyes. Testing him, maybe seeing if Angel wanted something from him, or was going to use it against him.

Sure, the sinner was a bit of a muck up, and he'd killed for fun, but like... no one important. Not friends, not family, not... whatever these weirdoes in the hotel had come to be to him. But he couldn't breach the gap to tell Al he was safe with Angel, because that'd be saying th quiet bit out loud... and he's not sure he'd get the same answer back.

But... he'd noticed he was able to just exist 'round Al, even with his dirty jokes, more often now. There was a slight ease of tension. Same as the one he had with Vaggie, really... you didn't say anything out loud, but you both knew there was an easiness there. A safety.

She hadn't even thrown that plate hard enough to decapitate earluer, and if that didn't say sisterly love, what could it stand for?

The sound of staticky uh, french-like words spluttering over the music in little hissing bursts catches Angel's attention. He snaps back into the moment.

Alastor looked furious and indignant about the whole cosmic flex of Lucifer's restocking. Of course the little king had interfered. It wasn't done kindly, it was another reminder that he could do anything he wanted and it was so Easy... with one thought he invalidated another way that Alastor was helpful to the hotel. His spy networks, the deals he had with smugglers... no longer necessary.

All so his majesty could try and show his daughter how useless even the most powerful sinners were in relation to the Morningstar family. Missing her point entirely... again.

Just because one Could doesn't mean one Should or even Must.

Angel, as one who had been around Hell for a while and could see what was yanking Al's chain about this mess, points out that it actually didn't curry favour with Charlie. Not like Short King intended after all.

Heck, he even points out it aint that bad if you reaaaaally thought about it... cause hey, saved money and time in the end, right?

Seeing a need to distract, he fluffed up his chest fur, draped himself over the countertop and cooed. Alastor's ears went right up in alert, and Angel would've bet Fat Nuggets that that floofy tail was doing the same in some ancient panic instinct.

Putting it on thick, to dispel the tension, Angel grins lazily at Al. Pointing out that, hey... maybe you could get them sexy smugglers to bring the starlet back some of those new Toys he'd heard about, cause word on the street was that there was this new kinda Stroker that-...

Al looked like he was about to have a stroke... but the ears settled. This was familiar nonsense.

Angel laughed, not unkindly, and stretched upright again. Messing with Al and Vags was sort of fun, like a hobby you dusted off when things got a bit Meh. It was also fun to get the Radio Demon on the ropes, given how much the guy liked to shitstir all on his own.

Alastor, for his part, then caught Angel completely off guard by asking if all 6 of his arms were broken - because why would he need something like that otherwise? The scrunched expression actually showed the overlord was trying to rationalise the request. Fuck, that was hilarious...

The whole bizarre nature of the conversation actually made Angel tear up in disbelieving mirth, holding his sides.

"How the fuck do you know what that is?" He'd wheezed, trying to imagine Al flicking casually through one of the Lust catalogues like he would a newspaper on Sunday. The mental image blurred and warped like Al on a camera screen, it was too hard to picture.

"We're from the same time period my good man, and Hell's advertising campaigns are as persistent as they are pervasive." Al points out the kitchen window at a number of visible billboards that displayed products one would not anticipate being so openly advertised anywhere else.

Nothing subtle about the new DragonDrillDo XXXL-treme from VoxTek! The billboard ran the breadth of three adjacent buildings and the product looked like it could probably could kill a Sin if used incorrectly.

"Oh. Well, a stroker is like... you know how sometimes you just have had a long day, and you don't wanna have to do everything yourself, right? Gotta get that dopamine flowing somehow, and store bought is fine in this house. No shade." He flutters his eyelashes and watches the deer sigh in silent resignation that he would weather whatever came out of Angel's mouth right now.

"Why don't we get one for the table, you know... to share if you like, and I'll help ya try it out..." the eyebrow waggle was excessive, but it sure was fun.

He hadn't anticipated the slice of tomato that slaps him dead on the forehead. Laughing harder as it slips down his face slowly, as if in on the bit.

"One could point out the merits of putting in a hard day's work, and using a little elbow grease as it were. The things you do by hand provide greater satisfaction, over the artificial...or so I have always come to understand." Al deadpans back, grinning at the suddenly shocked expression on Angel's face. "Come now, little spider, you don't truly believe that I'm blind to that side of life, hmm?"

"Smiles, watch what you say... with the visuals my brain is producing, asking me to come anywhere might just be a dangerous game." Angel quips back, putting certain mental images aside for later perusal. The guy was hot in the weird scary way of the overlords... so sue him.

He, predictably, gets another tomato slice to the face. Charlie was gonna scold them for wasting food in a hot minute. Ah well, Angel's just grateful it wasn't the capsicum, that coulda stung for days, had the overlord had them to hand.

Still, the fact he wasn't being mauled by poppets means that he musta wormed his way into Al's Good Graces. Same as husk and Niff and Charlie... and maybe Vags, he's not sure where those two fall now. Less attempted stabbing with that little angelic toothpick, at least... so maybe they're doing okay too.

"If you are quite done being ridiculous," Alastor makes quite the show of rolling his eyes and blasting an audience groaning at him. "Do be a, hah, a deer, and grab out the following..."

Angel may have four hands on heh, hand, most of the time but the list of spices was getting excessive at this point. They can't all go in the same dish, right? It'd be too much for one tongue to process and just come out feeling like you licked a powerpoint or something.

Angel's smart mouth moves as if to say something of the sort to the guy who could technically turn him inside out and not in the fun way, but won't 'cause they're not-buddies now... when something shifts. It's almost like the little glass thing wiggles out of the way of his grasping fingers and then hurls itself downward.

The cap unscrews itself as it falls, in a way that seemed too easy for something new, something allegedly just off the shelf of some earth store or whatever. His eight eyes flare wide with realisation at the What, but there's nothing he can do, no way to react fast enough to move as the contents begin to spray outward. A torrent that shouldn't be possible.

Angel feels someone grab one of his lower shoulders and yank him back, with a speed and ferocity that should have tossed him across the room, but even with that action he can sense it's far too late.

Scalding pain sears up his right upper arm and shoulder, fragmenting across face, neck and a splotch on her lower right arm. It's blinding. He's been hurt real fucking bad before, and each time felt different... this... this was like flashes of lighning behind the eyes.

Fuck, he hadn't felt anything like this since they stopped doing electronecro shoots. Fucking hated the few moths Val'd been into that... or maybe it eas Travis. Both needed to choke to death for that mess, if the world was fair, that is.

Angel can't comprehend anything but the twanging of nerves as his trajectory and the full force of his lanky telephone pole of a body is yanked straight into a writhing mass of darkness. The inky mass of shadows hissing frantically as granules continue to spill down, shielding as best they can despite ther own discomfort.

Dimly, Angel wonders if they feel pain... if Al can feel their pain, or what they touch. It's a weird thought...

Heh, best not share that with Val or he'd find a way to fuck that shadow, and Al'd burn down the whole of Pride. Oh, hang on, loopy thoughts, nope, can't do shock. that's bullshit. Get it together Angel.

The shadows brush over his limbs, dislodging what they could of the corrosive substance, trying to help where they could. Despite the obvious discomfort it caused everyone involved.

Angel is half braced on a nearby bench, trembling, because fuck that hurts, One of his arms is being gripped to near bruising strength, and the other is grasping Alastor's should right back.

Despite attempts to stifle it, Angel could feel his mouth part in a harsh, agonised cry as several of the utensils and bowls they were using crashed to the floor at the sudden displacement of bodies.

The container clanged to the floor innocently, rolling away and spewing out more than a dozen jars that size should have been able to produce. Perhaps an enchantment? Wouldn't be the first bottomless thing conjured; saved on shopping bills if things just refilled when empty or expired.

His shout must have alerted others because Vaggie was suddenly there, spear brandished wildly, as Husk stormed in behind her. The pair look ready to skewer Alastor if he was secretly attempting to murder and cook Angel.

To be fair... that was certainly one assumption. Angel could suggest a few other reasons for callig out that might get him actually, honest-to-satan, turned into shish kabobs by Al. He lets out a shaky laugh as his thoughts go a bit silly again.

He just holds off on slapping himself across the face, trying to stay calm. He'd had worse, much, much, MUCH worse... and this was what set off the hysterics? Fuck off with that!

Although, based on the way Husk's stern expression blanched just as sharply as Vaggie's, perhaps he wasn't being a big old baby about this. Maybe it really was Bad.

"Shit." Vaggie hisses, eye wide, and spear donking onto the floor. "What the fuck happened in here?"

Angel pushes himself upright as the shadows recede, breathing deliberately. That cute little in-out thing Charlie did in yoga the other day, something about breathing into boxes wasn't it? He wants to make a dumb box-based joke, but the energy is going into not-screaming as he moves his torso.

Angel can feel himself calming slightly, against the residual stinging pain in his cheek. Fuck, must've gotten some there. It's about a 5 out of 10, compared to the rest... until he tries to smile and reassure the others. Then it hits a full-on 7.5.

His eyes water, fuck, yeah he's not gone soft. That actually really goddamn hurts. It's exactly like that time Angel accidentally spilled acid on himself disposing of a rat uptop, the scars were still healing on his arm when he died. What a weird damn thing to recall.

Soemthing moved beside him, stiffer than usual but nonetheless commanding attention. "Husker, Vagatha... do NOT let Niffty in here. She'll harm herself attempting to clear the mess, and likely try to roll in it to chase the burning pain. You know her proclivities by now." The tone is that odd twist of jovial and authoratative, but the normal playful teasing lilt to it has a note of strain there.

Angel feel his world do a dark somersault as Alastor tugs him through the shadows and across the room to the entrance. Far away from the salt littering the surfaces about the cupboard, not to mention the floor. It seemed to still be trickling out of the container... what the actual fuck.

Vaggie ducked out the door and yelled for Charlie, citing urgency and that they needed medical help. Angel starts to think that perhaps that was, you know, overkill... but he's suddenly aware of how hard he's leaning on support when Husk pulls him off of Alastor and braces him with his own paws.

Those golden eyes are roving over the sinner, and Angel can't find the energy for a sexy little pout and some coquettish quip. Whiskers clearly ain't into what he sees. That expression could glower its way through steel doors if he wanted it to.

"Well, fuck... what kind of idiot puts actual, honest-to-goddamn-earth salt in the kitchen?" Husk mumbles herding Angel immediately towards the far counter, eyes assessing. "Gotta wash this off quick - you might have some clinging to your skin. Is the sink clear?"

The words ring in the air, echoing against the clashing sounds of their footsteps and the pounding of Angel's heart in his ears. It's about that point he catches up with the realisation that there's no music playing.

He glances back at the visibly seething Overlord, who was trying not to appear to be propping himself up against the nearby open door, and failing somewhat. Angel could see that the damn salt had clearly caught Al across the shoulder, upper back, neck and patches to one side of his face. One of the silly red ears was rather less fluffy, appearing quite agitated as it twitched.

Well, fuck. If Al caught a glancing blow whilst dragging Angel out of the spray, then how bad was the starlet? He felt barbecued.

Hah, technically he'd been pre-prepped and marinated in something. Maybe Al and his friend Rosie could take a nibble! Husk shook him, gently, but enough to click his brain back into the here and now. The hysteria quashed back down for the moment, he'd give his third pair of arms for that mess to stop.

"Hey, listen this is going to suck but it's necessary to get it off you. So just stay with me, alright?" Husk murmurs, wetting a teatowel and sarting to sluice the areas. He might have sworn rather viciously at the first touch of water... but by the time the second lot poured over the area, it started to feel soothing.

"Well this has been quite the little frustration. All our preparations have been tainted by something that would try to ea the stomach of those who ingested it." Alastor snarls as Vaggie approaches, slowly, as if she was trying to tempt an injured feral cat into accepting help.

His eyes snapped to her, and without the shadows, it was clear the extent of the damage. Angel hadn't realised Salt could eat through clothing until now, probably for the best he'd done such a damn good job on those stitches, the top edges of the wound are almost invisible under the regrown deer fur.

Angel can feel his own shirt just as ratty, and mourns the loss of it. He'd liked how it made his chest perk just right... and getting a shirt that could switch from four to six arms was a bitch and a half in this town. The enchantments alone cost him a lot in terms of repaying Val in weird, off the wall kink stuff the moth was into and Angel wasn't.

Briefly, Angel considered the fact he'd thought seeing Al dishevelled like this would make him look kinda hot, maybe a bit naughty. But it was kinda distressing, and freaky. Not unlike the night they found him collapsed, really. Overlords are meant to be untouchable gods compared to Sinners on the street, seeing them fucked up and hurt was... actually frightening in a weird way.

At least you could say that the mussy look made Al's perpetual grin all the more manic. You could feel that the wrong move might end in someone getting bitten. The radio dial eyes, though, suggested that perhaps Al had an idea who did this... and they were going to PAY.

It was also kind of a mess in his head now, not just his own injury. But Alastor actually interceding. He didn't have to, he'd been out of the 'splash zone' as it were... why the fuck had he risked harm by coming to get Angel?

Was this ike how sometimes Al would appear and take on Sinners targeting hotel staff? Or that time he literally took a bullet for Husk, and laughed about it, only to make the offender eat his own weapon until his teeth broke on the barrel and the fucker was a mess of snotty tears? Niffty'd turned the dislodged molars into a necklace and gifted it to Charlie... who had worn it for a full day and then put it 'somewhere safe'.

Hah, get wrecked you stubborn deer, you LIKE me! Angel suppresses his gleeful little giggle, knowing it'd hurt to let it out right now. The flicker of smug grin Husk shot him seemed to indicate he agreed. Or at least, that's what Angel was interpreting that as.

Still, guilt did churn in his guts cause, yeah, he could take a beating and all but it never felt right to have others get hurt for him. Anytime Cherri caught a blow in a fight to prevent him taking it, it weighed on him. This... this was just as messed up, but in a different way.

Alastor was shorter than Angel, not by much, but enough that it was inevitable that the salt showering on the spider was going to trickle down to those below even as they pulled him from the metaphorical line of fire.

Something down Angel's chest was burning, but at this point, he straight up wasn't ready to look down and acknowledge the full extent of this horror. Inside his chest, his heart was alternating between thundering at Husk's tender care and proximity... and aching for accidentally getting someone else hurt, for his sake.

He's just some washed up, rent-a-hole whore, why would anyone-... his fists clenched. No, no we're going to be kind to ourself. Even if it feels all woo-woo and new agey bullshit, but Charlie thinks there's worth in me. Husk looks at me like I hung the moon. Alastor put himself in harm's way to help me. They must think I'm worth something beyond my body, beyond sex.

And one day I'm gonna feel confident about that too. Not yet, but I'm gonna get there. Angel reassured himself.

"It's okay..." Husk murmurs, the mantra repeated soothingly over and over, until the tension in his arms released. "There you go... don't let the thoughts win. Hard to fight your own brain, but you can. I've won, and you will too."

Well, fuck, he can't not fantasise about riding Husk off into the sunset now can he? Not when Whiskers was being so kind, so understanding, so-... smug, actually. But following the flicking tail with his eyes helped to settle the weirder thoughts the spider was experiencing.

The calm immediately broken when the cavalry arrived.

Charlie blasts open the doors with the largest first aid kit known to sinner-kind. Three Nifftys could sleep in it with room to spare for the entire bug collection... where the fuck did the Princess get this thine?

Ah, Angel idly notes the Sloth symbol. Well, of course it was from Bellphagore, the Sin was prodigious for naptime and medical care.

"Nobody panic! I have literally everything we could ever need to manage a situation right here! How bad is it? Is anybody dead?" She rapid-fires across the room, eyes darting in all directions to assess the situation.

"It's fine, nothing that won't heal in a day or so, charlotte do calm down!" Alastor grins, doing his mildly condescending little hand wave, straightening back to his cheerful persona as if he wasn't half-charred.

Husk actually walks across the room and smacks his overlord over the back of the head with a wing. "Just cut the shit, Al, we both know that hurts like a bitch... and I'm like 85% sure being honest about that for once won't kill you. Probably. Ain't like anyone here will take advantage of you like this, they like you... lord knows someone has to."

That startles a laugh out of the deer. "Oh Husker, you are a delight..."

"More importantly," Husk interjects. Starting to tug the only mildly-resisting Alastor towards the sink as well. It's a miracle no one has been bitten yet. "How did this even happen? The only salt we got in the hotel is from Envy, normally... and you can't just accidentally get the earth stuff, right?"

Lucifer pops in in a swirling array of red-gold sparkles. "There you are sweetie, what's the hullaballoo that's got you yelling all over the hotel?"

Charlie, already pulling out more gauze and cream than anyone would need in a lifetime, gestures at Angel and Alastor. Husk returns to his task of gently wiping over Angel's angry-looking shoulder with a moistened towel; it takes effort for the spider not to flinch.

"Ooh yikes. Hmmm, looks like you got a little clumsy in the kitchen there, bambi." Lucifer grins, eyes sparkling with malicious delight. His expression doesn't waver as it takes in Angel. "And you managed to damage a guest in the process, how can you call yourself a bellhop? For shame."

The antlers creak ominously, extending upwards and pulling at the angry skin there as Alastor clearly chooses to ignore the limitations in the face of the small all-powerful asshole before him.

The process pauses, in shock, as Husk tests the bounds of Al's famously finite patience by clipping him again with a wing. Angel is going to have a heart attack if Whiskers doesn't cut that out right the fuck now. Al seems to surprised to be angry, at least.

What the porn start wasn't expecting, was to have the too-bright grin turned upon him as Alastor asked. "Angel... the device you mentioned earlier, would it come in such a width that one could cram the entirety of his Lowness into the orifice, since he wants to act like a pompous little dic-...?!"

"Whoakay, no need for that. I'm sure it was an accident..." Charlie interjects, hands up like someone trying to settle a furious horse that was ready and willing to cave someone's ribcage in.

Lucifer winked at Alastor and turned to face his daughter, "Of course it was, sweetie, I'd never hurt your guests deliberately!"

That omission caught even Charlie"s attention. "...dad? I just want to clarify... not accusing you or anything, but did you... know that you summoned earth salt when you restocked the pantry?"

"Of course not Char Char." Said the prince of lies, whose smile was violently gleeful under that insipid hat.

Charlie's expression closed off completely, pinched taut, as she saw Angel breathe his way through the gentle sluicing of water over too raw skin. Her mind was racing as rapidly as her pulse. Worst case scenarios whirling through her mind.

Would Valentino punish Angel for this? For being hurt and likely delaying filming? Probably. Fuck. She hated this.

Charlie takes a deep breath, and forces a smile onto her face. She can do this. "Dad. It starts with Sorry? Remember?"

"Of course, Char-Char! Ahem, Angle Rust, im sorry you were injured by accident." Lucifer chirped, looking slightly to the left of the sinner and not really caring for anything but Charlie's approval in this situation. He thinks he nailed the faux concern too, the pompous little cockrel.

Thankfully, his daughter is not the naive child he recalls. The King of Hell's eyes go wide eough to fall out of their sockets as his own beloved daughter hurls a half chopped cabbbage at his head. The leaves exploding about like confetti, leaving him bewildered and blinking sharply. "What?"

"That. Was NOT. An. Apology. Dad." Charlie growls, horns out and tail lashing. "We don't try to hurt others here, and I get you have an issue with Al for some reason... but this is ridiculous! You of all people know that earth salt can permanently harm sinners, so why would you do this?! I'm not as stupid as you think dad, it's clear you were hoping to get Alastor with this, because he's our main cook. And look what you did! Angel's hurt too, do you have any idea what his overlord might do to him because he's not 'camera ready'?"

Angel actually froze as icy dread clawed its way up his spine hand over hand. With everything happening, Angel really hadn't thought that far ahead, and now someone spoke the reality aloud he found himself visibky fighting back tears.

Val would make him pay for damaging company property...

Fuck, he'd be lucky if they let him leave the studio again.

"Worry not Angel," Comes an unexpectedly calm voice. "I will clear my schedule for the evening and deal with the moth. He's been on the to do list for a while..." Alastor reassured, admittedly uncertain why he was being so altruistic. He'd told himself to stop caring after the whole Adam fiasco. Damn it all.

"You... will? Why, I ain't got nothing to offer you..." Angel looked confused. That mask slipped over his face as he grinned salaciously, "unless ya changed your mind about that offer i made to suck ya-..."

It was his turn to get smacked with a wing.

"Behave."

"Anything for you, Whiskers..."

"Drop the act, its creepy." Husk groaned, wringing the teatowel out over something on Angel's side. The avian feline hissed in sympathy as Angel flinched back from the sensation, then cringed at the way the rest of his skin went taut. "Stay still if you can, I know it hurts, but you're doing great..."

"Indeed Angel, creepy is my shtick... do find your own." Al drawls, taking a subtle step away from the now-advancing Charlie, who had her demonic aspects out and more duckie shaped bandaids than anyone should have a right to have access to. "Please keep those away from me."

"Only if you let me flush the injury with at least some water to make sure we get it all off of you." Charlie negotiates, putting down the bandaids in a manner that suggested they could be snatched up again in a split second. And for a moment, Alastor feels pride at her clear if clumsy attempt at manipulation. She appears to have learned deceptive kindness, will demonic wonders never cease?

Lucifer is scowling. "Stop being such a drama queen. Here, I'll fix your little boo boos, even though its pointless because this is hell and you'll be hurt doing something violent or self destructive in the next four hours anyway, if you stop complaining about it. You got pranked, deal with it bambi."

Alastor bared his teeth sharply at the king's outstretched hand as the monarch advanced. Angel could see something trembling sharply under the coat from the corner of his eyes and guessed the deer instincts were not taking this threat all that well. "For someone who sees himself as above the so-called barbaric, cruel and hopeless sinners, sire, you certainly dont hesitate to utilise similar actions to harm out of petty jealousy."

The King pauses, scoffing arrogantly. "Jealousy? Of what, you? The freak manipulating my own daughter with this stupid sweet-cannibal overlord act? Fuck you. Because let's be real here... overlord or no, if i really wanted to I could just smite you and be done with it. Why can't you take a joke, Annette?"

Alastor learns towards the King. "Then do it, little majesty, smite away. Because I'm certain that a little spot of casual murder will repair the fracture between you and Charlotte fantastically and not just remind her how little you care for the sinners she's trying desperately to save."

He pauses, and if he physically could, Alastor would be scowling. "And for further clarification, you feathered fool - a prank is only worthwhile if the victims find it funny in the aftermath. Although given how isolated you've been, one can only imagine how little of the social graces or cues have remained. Is it any wonder everyone you ever loved has abandoned you?"

Lucifer was growing brighter with every word, horns out, tail lashing. Ah, there's the family resemblance.

There's a general group inhalation, and Angel sucks it through his teeth, his nerves flicked into flight or fight mode as the Devil himself seethes. You can feel his power like the pulses of sound at a concert, it moved through you and you know it could crush your bones with the right frequency.

"Sinner scum, you think you can show such disrespect to me and get away with it?" Lucifer's breathing hellfire on every word, very biblical and not at all overly-theatrical. How fascinating. "Let's see how smug you are when I strip your flesh from your bones!"

"Hah, you wouldn't even be the first to try it, you duck-obsessed dictator. Do attempt some originality, majesty, or did the creative flair disintegrate when you landed in Hell?" Alastor tosses back, appearing unconcerned about the fact that at least Vaggie and Charlotte are making definitive 'cut it out' gestures at him.

Shadows shoved Charlie, Vaggie, Husk and Angel out of the way as a blast of something bright hurtled through the kitchen towards Alastor; decimating retinas left and right.

Angel briefly wonders if Val would be open to having the scripts done in braille so he knows when to moan and when to say something dirty... because it didn't feel like he'd ever see again. Fuck, the sink seemed to be gone, as well as the walls behind it.

Charlie screamed in a horrified fury, leaping for her father, who was grinning as he panted in rage. "Not so smug now, are you, bambi?"

The grin dropped in pure shock as a rather disappointed-looking Alastor appeared from the dimming decimated area, appearing fundamentally unchanged... except for the collar flaring brightly, tight against his throat.

"Ah, blast. I'd hoped that would do the trick... do you want to try again, little majesty? I'm sure you have a number of insecurities I could prod at if you need motivation...?" Alastor asked, seizing at the lilac chain with obvious disgust behind that smile.

"You... what? How are you alive? Is that my-...?" Lucifer stammered, thrown off-guard. He could have vaporised Adam with that blast, why the fuck was the BELLHOP alive?

He receives a withering glare. "Do catch up. Yes, it is. No, I can't say where she is, though one might look upward for answers."

Charlie covers her mouth, breathing in for four and out for four. She can stay calm. Her dad tried to kill her not dad mentor overlord friend hotelier over some jibes, after he tried to pull a prank that could have severely injured him but backfired and got two members of her hotel instead. And something her missing mother did saved Al from the smiting, but he... was upset he didn't what? Die? Was this the time for crisis counselling? Was this a cry for help? What did the mental health first aid guide recommend? This was NOT in the curriculum!

Vaggie was there, immediately, her gentle hands holding her close and encouraging her to breathe. This was all so insane.

" If you are quite finished your tantrum, Little Majesty, would you heal Angel Dust already and show some contriteness for how your actions caused this harm?" Alastor snipes, redirecting attention to the other sinner. "He's quite injured, and I dislike knowing you have brought harm to a friendly party whilst attempting to torment myself. There will be a way to make you pay, little king, and I intend for you to worry about when and what form that will take."

Lucifer, possibly in shock, shuffled over to the starlet with a slightly vacant expression; reaching out mechanically to grab a wrist. He pulses gold light up the spider's arm, wrapping it around the injuries and soothing the harm without any visible effort.

By the time the light fades, even the hair has regrown to its normal pattern and consistency over the previously burned patches. Good as new. That was insane.

Husk has to physically catch Angel as his knees go weak from the sudden rush of endorphins as the pain stopped completely. They stumble a step before Angel can get his shit together in the wake of such an unexpected headrush.

Lucifer rounds on Alastor. "Now you're gonna tell me what the fuck that's about!" He gestures at the collar, " And why seemingly everyone else in Hell can land a blow on your frail crimson ass... but me trying to actively Smite you is waved off? Do you understand how physically impossible that actively is?"

Alastor lets his neck crack sickeningly to the side. "Hah, that's quite simple. She made it clear that I would not be allowed to let you stop me in any way, shape or form and wove it into the contract. Especially not die, unless it was in service to her daughter's hotel or ideals. Everything about you and your abilities is made to bend around that of your dear wife and her abilities; she bet the farm on being able to ensure against you causing harm to someone under her banner. You have no power here, little morningstar, and you most certainly aren't supposed to Be here. That has been made abundantly clear."

Lucifer found himself flinching back. He could hear the echoes of Lillith in those words, in her darker moments, when she'd lost composure against the only being in all of hell who could withstand her powerful fury.

Charlie looked stricken. "Al, what dad did wasn't right, and I'm not devaluing your experiences, but... everyone is welcome at the hotel. You can't say that to him."

Lucifer is looking at him pointedly, eyes narrowed and stomach roiling in horror as he deciphered this mess. "I don't... think that's what he meant, Char-Char. I think... your mother doesn't want me here, around you, and that's... upsetting her. Which used to be why palace staff got replaced so frequently... but I don't think you ever noticed, duckling."

"Why would she try to keep us apart?" Charlie frowned, her memories of time with her mother were so cheerful, interspersed with some odd moments of formailty and a bleakness. But who wasn't an angsty teen at some point?

Lucifer can't help the hysterical little laugh that escapes. "Charlie, she's done nothing but for your entire life. Why stop now?"

His jaw clicks shut as if horrified to have been so blunt.

"As disgusting as the words are in my mouth, I'm afraid I must agree with your father, Charlotte." Alastor grimaces somehow, the smile was there but he looked like he'd gotten a mouthful of poison with no way to spit it out. "You were to be kept separate, and away from... toxic idealism i believe is the wording used. Though I would argue you've already received a fatal dose lready, based on the hotel alone."

A laugh track plays, it feels perfunctory. Expected.

"Did she... make you come here?" Charlie asks bracing herself. It was pretty obvious, but given her mind was whirling form the last half hour, she feels she's doing pretty well actually!

"Yes, and no. Not at first, at least. Initially she just wanted someone to keep an eye on you, especially during your initial forays out into Pride. Your... enthusiasm often outweighed your common sense, before you found Vagatha, who then took on the role of guarding you." Alastor made a dramatic wink at the ex-orcist, who flushed slightly gold under the scrutiny.

"It was later, after that rousing disaster of a television program, when I approached you directly at the hotel that she decided to add stipulations about this project. Though her... request... to keep the royal house divided has been a source of contention as of late, especially with the recent meetings with Heaven and battle."

"So you're... sort of here on your own free will?" Charlie clung to hope that this answer would silence the crushing guilt in her stomach.

"You could say so. I wasn't forced to come to the hotel, that was out of interest and convenience, but once here it was identified that... she would prefer I stay. Which has been most frustrating." Alastor's right ear flattened, the left was damaged and twitched in place.

That prompted Angel to step in. "Okay, can we do story time when Al's not covered in salt-related injuries? I can tell you it sucks harder than Tina Titfucker in Tornad-hoes at Large 4: Return of the Gobbler, and she's a vacuum cleaner of a sinner when she gets going."

Vaggie looks revolted at the segue, but Husk is grinning.

Lucifer stiffens. "...I did say I'd fix it, didn't I, bambi? Can't have you swooning like a damsel in the middle of a big plot reveal... this isn't a hellanovella."

Alastor steps out of range of the hand, and is immediately bracketed by Angel and Husk. "I am willing to eat my way out of this, so anyone who wants to keep their hands on their bodies has until the count of 1." he snarls at them.

"Nah, I think you're going to chill out and trust us..." Angel teases, poking out his tongue and tightening his grip.

"If you think the whole... other night situation is going to save you frm my wrath, I assure you, the debt has been repaid already with this little mess. Do not test me." the Overlord snipes, going deathly still as the radio dials flashed. But intriguingly the sinners don't seem to be phased.

Angel seems intrigued. "Wait, you remember that? How'd you know I was there too?"

"Well, my good man, I know two tall pink-adjacent sinners and you, sir, were not in Rosie's signature attire." Alastor deadpans, as Husk clearly attained a ery specific visual and bit his lip to stifle the laughter. "I do appreciate the assistance, but had assumed it was implied that the reciprocal debt was up to me to figure out how to fulfil..."

"Er, no... sometimes you just help people ya care about, so they don't die. That's what people do. Would you have hesitated if it was like Rosie, or Charlie?" Angel asks, wondering who fucked up this guy's sense of trust... but then recalled where they lived and decided the answer was 'probably everyone'.

"That's... different."

"Did you three fuck? What's this coded thing happening here?" Vaggie interjects, looking to be on the verge of pulling her hair out.

Husk's hat falls off as he bursts into deep gales of laughter at the very idea. Angel pouts, "Aw Whiskers, it'd be real hot if we did... are you laughing at little old me...?"

Alastor appeared to be considering the implications of their statements and the current positioning of everyone. It was a plausible question.

He sighs, tensing slightly as Lucifer stepped closer. "No, rest assured I did not breach any of the fraternisation rules of the hotel. These two were foolish enough not to take the opportunity for a raise in status and power, when they discovered I was injured after the little fight with Heaven. Husker maintained he was the only one who was present, but I recall more than they suspect."

Angel gasped. "Fuck, you weren't awake for the stitches were you? I shoulda given you something."

"Rest assured, it wouldn't have been the worst thing that's happened to me, but no... that bit is not part of my recollections." Alastor assured, wondering why he felt the need to. He should have pressed on that guilt like a bruise, delighted in the agony and regret Angel exuded. But he was tired, and in pain and the... stars or something were incorrectly aligned for such schadenfreude. Something along those lines.

The spider and the cat seemed to relax a fraction.

"Good, cause I'd've felt like an asshole otherwise. That took ages to fix... you shoulda said something earlier, asshole." Angel mumbles, tightening his hold as Lucifer made contact. "No, keep all tentacles to yourself, Al... and teeth! Fuck, I need that arm, bad overlord! I'm not above smacking you with a rolled up newspaper if you snap at me again!"

"You wouldn't dare..." Alastor gasped, shocked.

"He would, and I'd find the sunday edition, so it had extra heft." Husk confirmed, the traitor.

Skin healed over, fur regrew, and the persistent sting seemed to fade. Lucifer paused, and then tugged the thinnest thread of somthing from Alastor's chest, causing the sinner writhe at the sensation. It was fine as a hair, tangling in on itself and disappearing into the aether at a casual flick of the devil's wrist.

"Got rid of the divine grace holding that little scratch open on you. You're welcome. Now, tell me more about this deal with my wife." Lucifer says, tugging his hand back as Alastor sagged, breathing heavily.

Husk turned and flared his wings, creating a bit of a privacy screen as he checked in with the Overlord. "You still alive?"

"Indeed. It's been... some time since there was a lack of pain in my everyday that it quite caught me off-guard." Alastor mumbled back, and wasn't that fucking sad to hear?

"You wanna talk to short king though? I can give him the old Sinder wink and take him somewhere to forget his wife for a bit, if you get me, and you can escape." Angel suggests, winking outrageously.

Alastor rolls his eyes. "I can't ask anyone to take on that level of vile task for my sake..."

There's an offended "HEY! I'm a CATCH you fucking period stain! Anyone would be delighted to sleep with m-... oh, sorry honey, I forgot you were there." from the other side of Husk's wing curtain.

Alastor straightened and used a flash of magic to repair his attire, and that of Angel, removing the muss of moments before. He nods to Husk, who drops his wings.

"What do you want to know?"

"The exact terms of the deal, as best you can provide it, because I'm sensing a silence order in the binding." Lucifer says, not quite a command, but bordering on it. Alastor glares at the mini monarch, but Charlotte looks on the verge of tears, so he relents.

"She has requested someone watch out for and protect Charlotte, and ensure her safety, no matter the cost. As I mentioned before there were caveats about that, and the hotel, but overall Charlotte is the centre of the matter. This includes managing any threats to the hotel, and not inciting any major overlord based drama, as she liked to term it. It's the main reason I haven't ripped Vox's head off and shoved it up the moth's backside like a matroyshka doll." Alastor's expression went sinister, and it definitely felt like there was backstory there that no one wanted to touch right now.

"Uh-huh... and what else?"

"Keep you away. Isolate Charlotte from your influence if possible. Keep her in a position where she can be seen as a harmless figurehead that Heaven will never feel the need to deal with or remove. thus the encouragement in this redemption farce." Alastor says, waving a hand and trying to ignore how Charlotte's fallen expression panged at the heart he definitely didn't have.

"But... it could work!" Charlie says, her passion and desperation driing her to tearfulness.

"Exactly. It COULD work, and she is afraid for you if it should."

"...what?" Charlie jerks back, blinking owlishly.

"There is... precedent, for a sinner being redeemed. I can't tell you about that, because she has bound it... but she didn't say that I couldn't mention it has happened before just the details."

"He's lying Charlie, don't get your hopes up." Lucifer warns, movng towards his daughter as her expression wars between hope and confusion. "She could have told him to say that..."

"I can also tell you, that redemption confuses Heaven, and she was told to deal with it last time it happened. Which is why she..." the next words cut off as the chain flared. The silencing charm in effect.

"Hmmm, you know, I don't recall if I was banned from explaining how the redemption allegedly happened... I understand they were out in an extermination with at least one person they didn't want to see die, and foolishly decided to stand between them and angel blades. I still don't understand how that resulted in redemption, because realistically thousands of sinners have tried to protect others from Exorcists over the years of slaughter... why this particular one?"

Charlie's eyes went wide. "That's... a really big clue, thanks Al! Ohhhh we need to look into this, it has to be about the intent! Or maybe the connection?"

"Please breathe, baby..." Vaggie murmurs, gently.

"Anything else?" Lucifer asked, frowning at Alastor. He didn't like this situation. It felt too convenient.

"She made it clear I was not to directly raise arms against or antagonise Heaven, particularly her first husband. To ensure this, she put a rather frustrating bind on my powers, I have some access... but not all." Alastor seemed to be aiming for nonchalant, but was clearly uncomfortable with having shared such a vulnerability, possibly wondering why he had done so.

Charlie looked like she wanted to grab his hands and say something heartfelt. Lucifer looked a tad too smug... and Vaggie's expression was torn between realisation and a base-born desire to throttle him. That, he could work with.

"Are you telling me, you old-timey idiota, that you faced the first man without any angelic steel and at half your power? What were you THINKING?!" she explodes, yanking at her hair.

"It was a conflict of orders, protect Charlotte and the Hotel but don't raise arms. It was the best caveat I could find... and honestly he was such a sloppy little thing, if it had't been for the guitar axe nonsense damaging my staff, it wouldn't have taken much more to kill him."

"But you-... ugh..." there was a string of words Husk looked like he agreed with but refused to translate. "Not the point! You should have said something! We could have had you put up the shield from somewhere less vulnerable to attack... had someone near you WITH the steel so you didn't have to pick it up. It's called trust, you idiot, try it sometime!"

Alastor's ears were flat back on his skull, eyes wide. He seemed taken aback she'd care at all.

"Welcome to being cared about, Al, you'll never know peace or privacy again... but the people make it worth it." Angel says, slinging an arm over the Overlord's shoulders. "I do have one question though... how can you be, y'know, in a soul deal, and still keep your souls?"

"Ah, that's simple, negotiation. Technically, there are still a number of souls under Husker, who is under myself. It's about how you word the contract."

"Oh... okay, that checks. So... how'd you meet her majesty?"

"Well, after a number of midnight rendevo-.. I'm kidding your majesty. We had an unexpected meeting under unusual circumstances, and a deal was the only way to prevent being trapped somewhere annoying. That's all I am willing to say on the matter."

Lucifer's red eyes seemed to See something before he nodded to himself. "I can see the truth of what you're hiding, sinner. Are you in danger from my wife? Does she... punish disobedience like she used to with the hellborne staff?"

"...perhaps, but it is harder to reach across realms. So for the most part it is additional limitations or draining power from afar. Annoyances, at best, but at least my skin stays on."

"Listen, I don't like you... but Charlie does, and I know what she's going to ask me. I could do it... but I need to know why you and Charlie have a chain between you. I can see it plain as day." Lucifer asks, voice glacial.

"It's not-..." Charlie starts.

"It's for a Favour, so do unclench. She wanted Charlotte on a soulchain to control her indirectly, but... well, that didn't quite fit the definition of Protection, from my perspective. Unfortunate, that. But a Favour allowed someone to share information about angelic steel to another party without repercussions, so it was necessary."

"...if I find out you're lying, and I do this, I will be actively able to smite you. You know that, right?" Lucifer says, again, not a threat... just... stating a fact.

"Well, given I was willing to allow it earlier for the off chance it might break the deal or kill me, I would say go right ahead, Sire." Alastor shrugged, "But if you want a deal..."

"Nope. Now, bend over," everyone ignored Angel's gale of laughter, "so I can reach the stupid thing and shut your eyes. I mean everyone, of course."

The King does... something. A light almost brighter than the attempted smiting, smote-ening, smything? Who knows, burns through the room and the whole place vibrates as a metallic snap is heard.

Shadows zoom up the walls and across the floors, the room fills with symbols and radios crackle to full volume momentarily. It settles quickly. "Apologies, that was a lot of power rushing back at once, it was allow it to manifest, or explode."

"....I suppose I owe you thanks, your majesty." Alastor said, saying without saying the implicit thanks. "Now, if you'll excuse us, I believe that there's a rather pesky insect requiring extermination. Come along Husker, Angel... let's take the Void!"

Husk groans, but it's swallowed up by the sudden wave of shadows.

"Dad, can you clean up the salt? I don't want anyone else to get hurt." Charlie asked, "And... and then ould we go and talk somewhere? About mum? And the things she did? I think we need to..."

"Anything for you Charlie. You know that." Lucifer reassured, snapping away the mess.

As they left the kitchen, there was a tiny cry of despair from niffty, who had escaped her confinement too late to play in the Pain Snow.

-----------

Flaming debris rained down upon the few employees Angel had pointed out should probably go down with the ship, as the Studio burned. Husker helped tie the fuckers up.

Bits of Valentino rained down upon them all, as Alastor finished tearing the man to ribbons. Jazz and maniacal laughter filled the air.

A drone paused overhead and Alastor smiled into the camera. "Oh don't get jealous, picture box, you're next on the list!" he coos, and holds upValentino's head. "See you soon!"

The drone jerks away at speed.

Angel fumbles to catch the skull thrown his way, screams and drops it. "No, no thank you I don't need it on my wall, thanks..."

"Ah, a pity."

"Thanks for this... Boss." Angel grins, and feels mild relief to maifest a chain that wasn't pink for once. It disintegrates. "What?"

"You have your freedom, I can't and won't uphold the deal you had with the Moth, it's vile... but if you want a deal wherein I place you in charge of the other souls from the moth and you do what you will with their skills, consent and some funding... that's up to you."

"Whiskers?"

"I'd say read the fine print... but yeah, that sounds like a good deal to me. Any chance you'd let me go, boss?"

"You know, you've caught me in a good mood, why not?"

Husk's chain snaps too.

"Now, who wants to go to my room for a stiff-..." Angel grins, Alastor glares. "drink of some top notch whickey, and we shall renegotiate your potential contracts, hmm? We can come and kill the picture box and the doll another day. Ah, I'm sure dear Charlotte will be delighted to hear of your freedom, Angel! And yours, Husker!"

"Yeah, yeah, love ya too you emtionally repressed murder machine!" Angel grins, pulling the pair of Overlords towards him in an expected hug. Husk makes a confused mrrrp? and Alastor, he made a small Bleat.

Angel's eyes go ROUND in delight, looking at the pair. "Holy fuck, if I knew you guys came with sound effects like that I would've been squishing you into hugs far earlier, that's cute as hell. Like nuggsy-level adorrable..."

"husker, your man seems over-tired and clearly delusional. Do get him under control while I prepare a portal?"

Husk snorts. "You're on your own, Al, anyway I know you're fawn'd of us."

For that, he gets no warning as the floor turns to shadow void.

Husk and Angel would maintain it was worth it though.

Alastor pinches his nose, exhausted. "Ah, but the show must go on, hmmm? Let's see what happens once the curtain rises after such a lengthy... intermission."

His smile fade out last, as the overlord travels to the hotel with his hapless passengers. There were deals to make and Heaven to overthrow... no time to waste!

---------------

End

I had a vague idea and it spiralled, so tired.

[szollibisz]

The thing I absolutely love about curtwen is that. Curt is a bitch, right? Like yeah, he can be sweet, and he's not as morally bankrupt as Owen, but he's just a dick. He's inconsiderate, irresponsible and clearly, growing up gay and having to be a big confident macho guy™ all the time did nothing good for him.

With how he treats those around him, he absolutely seems like a guy who pushes people away whenever he feels like the relationship is slipping even just a little bit. HE wants to be one who ruins the relationship, and gives that final push, just so he doesn't have to face that fact that people can leave you just because they don't like being around you anymore, found someone else, or just need to take a step away. He doesn't want to admit, that maybe he needs to change and better himself. He wants to give people an actual big reason to leave him, so he's less hurt by it, and it works really well. And then he meets Owen.

Not only is Owen a bitch too, but also obsessed with Curt. He wouldn't leave him no matter what he does (until....) And Curt won't leave Owen, because he finally found someone who understands all aspects of his life, and he feels like he needs Owen or else. I think they both realize this pretty early on in the relationship and it has absolutely horrible consequences for both of them. They will treat each other horribly, knowing it won't have any lasting consequences on their relationship. They will argue and scream that they never want to see each other again, but go back to normal a month later.

In their worst moments they exploit this weird obsessive-codependent thing they have, and in their best moments they call it love (somewhere deep down it is)

I think when Owen starts to realize Curt isn't obsessed with him, like he previously thought, part of him starts resenting Curt for it. Curt knows this, but by now he knows he can't and doesn't want to push Owen away. They just sweep it under the rug, like everything else. They facilitate each others' bad habits, because if they talked about them the relationship would fall apart. Owen doesn't mention Curt's alcoholism, Curt doesn't mention Owen's cruelty. And when they do, they quickly realize it won't get them anywhere.

Something something about how Curt and maybe even Owen could have some sort of healthy relationship with someone else, be that friendship, romance or something else, but at the same time, at this point in their lives this was somehow the best option for both of them. Crazy. Doomed by the narrative to divorce always and forever

[poisonheiress]

Vivziepop's ability to decay any women and fem-aligned characters she creates has always haunted Helluva Boss, and as a result, limits them to being one dimensional characters that fall into a "with them or against them" mentality when it comes to her male characters; they only exists to prop up other (male) characters or to serve as morally bankrupt villains.

From Verosika to Stella to Loona and Millie, this trend is clear from the beginning of the show and likely will follow it to the end. However, for this post I will discuss the recent victims of this trend: the lovely Glitz and Glam.

To be honest, I adore Glitz and Glam (to the point of writing fan fiction for them) and they have become my favorite characters in the entire show so this discussion will show some bias towards them. While some may say its too early for this call as they will be seen again, but from what I've seen on twitter from fans and even creators of their song alike, I do not have the hope this will occur.

From the beginning, Glitz and Glam are looked down on for their desire to win and for doing anything they can to get that position. When confronted with Fizz's kind words of support, they look down on him and further emphasize how they are going to win against him even gaining the title of "snatches" and "sluts" by Blitzo. From this moment forward, its clear the narrative doesn't want us to look kindly upon the sisters. After all, they are being "bitches" to Fizzarolli and competing against him in a manner that pushes him further and further into a breakdown. The fact that Fizz's relationship with Mammon and self esteem issues are not their fault is shown as irrelevant to both the audience and their creators.

This isn't made better by their song writers' commentary on twitter on how the glam sisters are perverting the true nature of clowning and that their song shows how they are simply wanting to get Mammon's attention by feeding into the financial and sexual exploitation (even saying that they want this to happen). This commentary solidifies the idea that they are not someone we should root for especially since they are allying themselves with Mammon, a horrific, abusive asshole.

While I expect this level of dismissal and honestly misogynistic writing from Helluva boss, I can't help but be extremely agitated by it and the reason why was made clear recently: the narrative acts as if the Glam sisters are doing this for out of selfish desire alone, as if they are terrorizing Fizz for no good reason. But that's simply not true, and even Vivzie's canon supports me here.

The Glam sisters are hellborn demons, only one rank higher than the imps. This means that while they may be treated better, they still are not treated as full citizens like sinners are, and in a dog eat dog world like Hell, kindness is not something they can afford.

Getting this position with Mammon is a life changing deal, something Fizz is proof of. Yes, it is as exploitative as it is lucrative for the individual, but this is Hell (as Vivzie likes to claim) and opportunities like this are something many would die and kill for.

So at the end of the day, I cannot help but be confused why the narrative punishes and looks down on Glitz and Glam for taking some crumb of control back from the system and accepting their objectification with open arms as long as they are rightly compensated for it. Why does even their (albeit catchy) song look down on them for doing whatever it takes to survive in Hell? After all, they would be exploited anyway, right? It's what Hell lives on.

In a class system like Vivzie claims to have, the glam sisters are a prime example of the kind of oppressed vs oppressed the system creates, but instead of trying to understand them or even see them as morally complex, they are simply the slutty female antagonists who are corrupting the sanctity of hell clowns simply because they don't clown for the sake of clowning. Whatever complexity they could have, even if it is beneficial to the entirety of the show, is worthless compared to their narrative propping for Vivzie's favored characters. But it doesn't surprise me. After all, what else is a women is Helluva Boss good for if not to support the main male cast.

[gxlds-doodles]

silly doodles i did for my fnaf au!!!! MASSIVE LOREDUMP/NIGHTGUARD INFO UNDER THE CUT YAYAYAY!!! all these doodles are based on some sort of point listed below loll i wanted to store a bunch of character info somewhere and also because my original vincent + scott/au post is already outdated lol

GENERAL LORE

main story takes place in 2014 in hurricane, utah

main location of the story includes toys/fnaf 2 animatronics + withereds (who eventually get repaired yay!) + springtrap in a boarded up backroom or basement maybe, it's the same building as fredbear's that's gone through a bajillion renovations since good ol 1979

the pizzaplex exists in this universe! it's very very new, it was a very hard decision for scott to share the rights to the characters/brand name but the company was gonna go bankrupt since it had been falling out since the whole murders thing and just interest generally declining over the years so he did it to save the company basically or else his location would've shut down

circus baby's pizza world also exists but it's been abandoned for maaaany years by this point though it's eventually re-discovered

all animatronics are sentient, (i will have a separate post with character info for the animatronics) they all have their own personalities/characters 2014 fandom style and while some have ties to the missing children none of them are possessed 24/7. not even springtrap but that's for the animatronic post

scott straight up does not tell the guards the animatronics are sentient at first because he does not know how to bring it up or if they'll even believe him because to be fair it does sound insane. they all have their own weird little stories about how they found out

all of the main guards except scott were hired pretty recently because freddy's has a hard time keeping consistent staff, the staff as it stands is the most consistent it's been in YEARS

SCOTT EMILY 31 - trans guy - bi - puerto rican - dating vincent dorian

henry and melanie emily's son - his mom passed when he was about 8 and he was raised only by henry for most of his life

idk whether or not i'm gonna include charlie at all yet, but if i do she's been dead since LONG before the story started

house burned down when he was 16 after a fire set by william, half his face was severely burned

henry made his phone mask after this, at first it was to protect the healing injuries (and as a side project for henry since he hadn't made any robotic projects in a while) but scott quickly became attached to it and he never takes it off except when he's home alone

at this point in the au nobody has seen him fully take the mask off except when he lifts the bottom of it to eat or drink (or to kiss vincent :) )

went to university for computer science, very smart with math and tech which he definitely gets from his dad

became manager of freddy's after henry retired, very familiar with the place since he grew up with it

favourite animatronic is freddy bc he's basic /j (it's actually bc of his fond early memories of fredbear). least favourite is the puppet because it deeply unsettles him

always knew the 'tronics were sentient because he grew up with them

stressed All The Fucking Time but manages to hide it pretty well.

when he doesn't hide his stress he's a bit of a bitch when he's stressed out because he doesn't know how to control it very well

overall though he's a very friendly guy :) very sweet always looking out for his employees/friends who he loves so so much

kinda goes mother hen on the nightguards LOL he's always making sure they've gotten enough sleep and that they've eaten etc

the kids at freddy's LOVE him !! especially his phone head they're very intrigued by it!! scott is the best out of all the staff with kids (none of them are *bad* with kids except vincent though and even he's not terrible with them he just doesn't know what to do with them)

his and vincent's relationship is already established by the time the story starts, they've been dating for a couple months :)

LOVES chick flicks and shows of that vein. rip phone guy fnaf baby you would've loved legally blonde.

VINCENT AFTON DORIAN 27 - identifies as a cis guy but has some sort of gender fuckery going on - gay - armenian + british - dating scott emily

william and clara afton's only child, clara died when he was very young (cough cough BECAUSE OF WILLIAM cough cough) and he was raised by william as a single father for basically his whole life

had a TERRIBLE childhood. william is like supervillain levels of bad here ok we don't fw goldverse william

didn't grow up around the restaurant like scott did since william and henry parted ways around the time he was born

was raised to be william's partner-in-crime and follow in his footsteps. had to become friends with children who his father would later kill to gain their trust. this severely impacted his social skills because growing up he never saw the point of making friends. later on his father made him actually help with the killing and hiding the evidence which fucked him up even more

was also used for william's weird fucked up science experiments. this is why he's purple and his eyes are white

his purple hair is dyed to match the rest of him, his natural colour is black

he can't feel the cold or heat very well due to the experimentation done on him, but he gets effected by it. like he can wear a tank top and shorts in the dead of winter but he could still get hypothermia

has repressed a lot of the specifics about his childhood, doesn't actually remember what exactly made him look the way he does but knows it was his dad

moved out when he was 18, completely cut contact with william, changed his last name to his mom's and never looked back. did not find out his dad died until springtrap is found

doesn't have a high school degree, worked odd jobs to sustain himself after he moved out

second-last of the main cast to be hired, hired a year and a half prior to the story, basically applies because no where else will take him and it's also a massive fuck you to his dad in his mind

nightguard, mechanic for the animatronics and sometimes a dayshift guard if things get dire

he is NOT good with kids which is why he rarely ever takes the day shift, he doesn't actively hate them but because of The Trauma he is not good with them

however he really admires how good scott is with kids :")

favourite animatronic is the puppet because it's the only one his dad had absolutely 0 part in making, least favourite is springtrap due to the whole partly-possessed-by-his-dad thing

kiiiinda always knew the animatronics were sentient because he used to read his dad's old journals, but honestly until he started working there he just figured it was his dad going crazy and then he finds out they are in fact sentient and he's like oh guess he was right about that

does not have friends outside the pizzeria staff because of the aforementioned not good with people thing

tells NOBODY he's william afton's son, scott finds out after henry visits the pizzeria and recognizes vincent

vincent is sure he'll be fired after scott doesn't contact him for 2 weeks straight until scott calls him in and they talk about it. vincent assures scott he's nothing like his father and scott assures him he doesn't think he's like him at all he just needed time to process because of what william did to others and him specifically

scott tells nobody else about vincent's dad but they all find out later on in the story

scared as shit of needles. his ear piercings are clip ons for the look he can't do piercings or anything like that

when he had to get his flu shot he took mike with him because scott was busy and he was very embarrassed about it but he couldn't do it alone and it was actually a great bonding moment even if vincent passed out upon seeing the needle

always had a HUGE crush on scott. he's very flirty and general and makes a lot of jokes honestly that's just the way he is so scott was kinda oblivious at first but he eventually realizes and now they're happily dating <3

looooves horror movies. obviously. he can't handle anything revolving around child murder because it reminds him too much of his father though

i just KNOW he would love hannibal nbc

MIKE SCHMIDT 23 - cis guy - pan - half mexican half greek - dating jeremy fitzgerald

raised by his parents in hurricane, has an older sister and had a younger brother who's passed on, moved states when he was about 12, both parents are still alive and he has a good relationship with them and visits them frequently

his younger brother was killed by william which is what caused his family to move states

current roommates with jeremy, they attend the same college and were dormmates in first year (mike took a gap year) before getting an apartment together to share rent

going to college for a business degree

he and jeremy either get together near the beginning of the story or right before it starts i haven't decided quite yet but either way they end up together! 2014 jeremike my beloved

he started working at freddy's as a form of closure for himself because his brother loved freddy's before he was killed

blind in one eye due to a fight in high school where the other kid pulled a knife on him

has deep-rooted anger issues that he's trying to work on. he and vincent clashed because of this a lot when vincent first got hired because vincent never takes shit seriously Ever even when he should and it frustrated mike. they've argued a lot but they're chill now and they're bros!

but because of this when scott told mike he was dating vincent mike was like HIM??????? OF ALL PEOPLE?????????? but he's happy for them he was just surprised

favourite animatronic is bonnie because he thinks his guitar is awesome (he would LOVE rockstar bonnie i just know it), least favourite is foxy only because their similar personalities clash a LOT, mainly their anger

found out the animatronics were sentient after his dumbass got locked in the kitchen's freezer and they had to get him out. thought he was dead and hallucinating

loves puns much to everyone's dismay.... scott finds them funny but everyone else DREADS them

i think he'd LOVE breaking bad i've only watched a few episodes but i've seen enough to go yeah mike would like that

very film bro taste in movies. fight club, american psycho, pulp fiction, etc. (i also love all these movies. future film major moment)

JEREMY FITZGERALD 22 - cis guy - bi - polish - dating mike schmidt

born/grew up a few states over with his mom and step dad, only child, moved to hurricane for college

roommates with mike as mentioned, a psychology major at their college and also minoring in creative writing :) (also if any of my college/uni stuff isn't accurate my bad LMAO i'm not in college yet myself and also i think the us works differently than canada for that stuff)

has a stutter because of an injury he had in his childhood

gets spooked easily. mike jokingly says that he's like a baby deer and that if you're too loud you'll scare him to death

very nice guy but veeeery awkward around people

kinda a pushover at the start of the story but he gets character development

has worked at freddy's for just under 2 years, applied after mike and he became roommates and he was job hunting and mike (reluctantly) suggested freddy's to him because they're in dire need of employees

the animatronics creep him out honestly but he likes his job overall, his friends make it worth it <3 he likes working the dayshift and HATES working the nightshift alone

favourite animatronic is mangle :) pre-repair mangle is like a weird little dog to him LMFAO, i don't think he'd have a least favourite but some scare him more than most LOL

finds out the animatronics are sentient after mangle's systems are tampered with near the start of the story, leading her to go haywire and attacking the shit out of him. he wakes up in the hospital and is like damn that was the weirdest fever dream ever lol and scott is there in the corner of the room like remy you might wanna stay laying down for this.

he and vincent get along shockingly well! vincent is good at distracting him when he's panicking, which happens a lot during night shifts especially

not a fan of horror movies :( he's very squeamish

FRITZ SMITH 25 - trans guy - aroace - irish - happily single

didn't grow up in hurricane but in a town nearby, raised by his parents and has likee 3 siblings i haven't put much thought into his family life yet

went to university for game design!! makes his own indie games and has a small youtube + twitch channel that he uploads to when he has the time and feels like recording and editing

also i just KNOWW he'd make video essays about weird internet lore

fazbear superfan, has been going to the restaurant since he was a kid and has gone out to california to visit the pizzaplex but he likes the pizzeria in hurricane better because it feels more comfy and it's nostalgic to him

since he visited the pizzeria so much scott remembers him from when he was a kid!! they didn't rlly interact but he does remember him :)

because scott remembers him from when he was a kid he's also the only one to know he's trans since fritz is stealth (fritz eventually decides to tell the rest of the staff but that's not rlly story relevant honestly)

last of the main cast to be hired, has only been working for a few months, freddy's has always been his dream but he focused on university and getting his life together afterwards first and foremost

does the accounting for freddy's because scott is So Overwhelmed and fritz is very good at math so he eventually convinces scott to let him handle that stuff because scott is already handling everything else business wise (mike is going to college for business but that means he's also in college so scott didn't want to overwhelm him)

he's basically the closest thing scott has to a business partner, if scott ever has to take time off he's the stand-in manager

favourite animatronic is toy freddy because they're both gamers baybee!! he does not have a least favourite he loves them all :)

the only one to actually get told abt the whole sentient animatronics thing. scott sits him down after jeremy gets attacked to tell him because everyone else knows and he doesn't know how much longer he can keep a secret... but fritz is like i know :) and scott is like THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU KNOW?? and fritz pulls out a full notebook of weird little notes about the animatronic's behaviour and how it couldn't possibly just be AI and scott is like ok sure. well at least you don't think i'm crazy

he and mike LOVE to play games together!! mainly fighting games like mortal kombat, but they also play GTA V :)

he and vincent are the least close out of the whole cast, nothing personal they're still friends they just happen to be the least close

he and jeremy get along very well!! they're probably the calmest personalities out of the staff

he n jeremy also have a lot of the same interests tv show and movie wise so they do watch marathons a lot :D

[dranosh-haran-of-paleoworld]

why do you hate itachi so much?

Because he's one of the worst written characters in the entire manga bar, none. The guy is NOT a fucking hero, good guy or anything, he's a bad guy through and through.

This guy willingly betrayed his own people and family, selling them out to the government who wanted to destroy them all. He knew about Obito and that he was behind the 9-Tails attack but said nothing to anyone. He discriminated against his own people and slaughtered them all to the last child. He cast Tsukuyomi on his own parents and brutally murdered them, tortured his own little brother beyond imagine with one torture session putting Sasuke in a fucking coma, one he would've never gotten out of if it wasn't for that bitch Tsunade and that's the only good Tsunade did in the series. Itachi thought he was wiser and more noble than his own people, which was pure and utter arrogance. When brought back as an edo, he said that a 7-year-old Sasuke could've changed the clan. He called himself Itachi Uchiha of Konoha and that he specifically had no regrets he was a massive piece of shit in life and death.

None of his plans make any kind of fucking sense. He wanted to save Konoha from war even though the other villages wouldn't have attacked for their own reasons.

Kumo already had a treaty in place after the Hyuga Incident, and it was preoccupied with gathering and collecting jutsus as well as kidnapping kids with kekkei genkai and rare bloodline abilities.

Iwa felt threatened by Kumo's growing militarization, and as such, Ohnoki was busy hiring the Akatsuki to do jobs for him to counter Kumo.

Thanks to Obito controlling Yagura, Kiri was in a massive state of chaos and strife with the bloodline purges and the various defections.

Suna was already extremely weak to attack Konoha on its own, and that weakness was present even before Gaara was born, and it just got worse after his birth, with his murderous rampages that wiped out half of his village and that's why Suna hired Orochimaru and his Sound village for assistance in the Chunin Exams.

So Itachi saved Konoha from zero potential wars, especially when none of the other villages attacked after Obito's, Orochimaru's, and Pain's assaults in the series.

He practically sent Sasuke gift wrapped to Orochimaru or Danzo. He knew about Obito and Pain's plans and yet did nothing about them, which just screwed over Konoha immensely.

He was never a prodigy or anything, unlike Sasuke. His fights are just him using genjutsu on his opponents and overpowering them with it, which just childish and stupid. He pulled Susanoo, Mirror Yata, and the Tsoka Blade out of his ass.

That's not even getting into his fanbase and how morally bankrupt they are.

This fucker is all over the place and doesn't make sense. Dushman-e-jaan has posts that go into greater detail about how this guy doesn't make sense, and I recommend you read them as she does an infinitely better job at explaining my dislike for Itachi than I have.

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Request: Inigo Dragonov scenario where we (his darling) didn’t cave into remarrying him. (I guess this is like an alternative timeline from the original storyline). He was thinking about bankrupting our family, so aside from that, what if we also didn’t want to remarry him because we found a new lover (that even his private investigators didn’t know about). And to make it even more soap opera drama like, our new man is Inigo’s old university rival (who’s still also his company’s rival). I’m sorry…I just love these tropes/cliches. What makes it even ❤️provokingly❤️ worse is if his rival were just to see Inigo across the street one day on an outing with us and our twin babies…and just kiss the babes while pulling us into an embrace…all while keeping a long deadlock stare with Inigo. Like DUSKGSJOSLHWJJJWJ!!!!!!!!! Unleash Inigo’s full yandere potential after being forced to witness this!

Yandere! CEO! Arranged! Ex-husband x AFAB! Ex-wife! Reader

WHAT IF: You refused to marry him?

Ooh anon, you're the worst (lovingly). You really want Iñigo to suffer huh?

Once more, I'm delving into Iñigo's lore because fun fact, Rowan may be my first yandere OC, but Iñigo had a whole novel just exploring him and his actual partner, Ykaidi! (I unpublished it on Wattpad though, it's so cringe lol. Also, there's so much stuff I changed so technically, the original timeline IS an au in itself) So this will be a good creative exercise to explore his personality more.

He's one traumatized bitch.

No?

Did you really say no?

Iñigo scoffed before tilting his head to the side, a bit bewildered.

"This..."

Words died down in his throat as he saw your resolute face.

"A-are you sure you don't want to marry me? I told you that the children needs a father figure in their life."

He somehow got a bad feeling about this. And that proved right as you gave him a soft smirk.

"They do, actually. It's not you though."

Iñigo felt his blood run cold.

His ears started to ring from the shock he received.

"You..." You have another man? That was not... Him?

How could that possibly be?! He always made sure that his private investigators would know each and every single one of the people that you spoke to back in New Zealand.

He should rethink his choices right now.

"But, Elise and Elliot needs their biological father. I am their bio father!" Iñigo yelled, his jaw ticking. But you only rolled your eyes.

"Did you think I would take into account on going back to you?!" You screamed, marching up to him and pushing him back. Your heart squeezed in pain as it pumped to accomodate the anger rising inside of you. "You neglected me. Insulted me in ways I don't even hear from my parents!"

You stomped one step, as if crushing his heart in pieces.

"Why would I come back to you?" Your voice, crackled with the pent up anger, gave a raw, intense tone of rage that echoed your beating heart. "You must think I'm stupid if I'll run to you."

Iñigo's vision swam, breathing heavily as he felt small, pressured....

Intimidated.

He never took account of you moving on and hating him to the point of getting another man. But you did. You did what he thought was impossible.

"Sweetheart... Please..." His tone was getting desperate, clawing at the seams to make sure he won't burst from the emotions he's feeling.

Iñigo is an emotional man. Yes, he may seem cold hearted and reserved, but when it comes to you, it's different.

His hand trembled, wanting to grab your hand to rest upon his cheeks and place a shackle on it.

"I'm going." You whispered before walking out of him.

~~~Two weeks later~~~

It's been hell in Iñigo's company. He's working his employees like dogs to create the best fashion company out there.

Whatever that means.

But all he knows he needs to outrank the Smith's when it comes to the Fashion influence across the world.

He needs to outrank you.

He needs to be more popular.

More rich.

More influential.

He drank another coffee, letting the coffee dribble down his chin and onto the hardwood table.

"Indigo, I think you need to take a break." Oliver said, using the nickname he's been using since he was a child. Iñigo looked up and saw Oliver holding up a mirror, reflecting how bad Iñigo looked.

"Wow, way too drive the nail further. Fuckhead." Iñigo glared at Oliver before shaking his head and standing up. "Alright. I'll go for a walk, Livi."

Iñigo went to the bathroom, fixing his appearance, shaving a bit, and adding light makeup to his face, just to hide the circles on his eyes.

Damn, he even knew how to apply makeup just to impress you, the fashion icon you are.

His tongue stung, remembering when he called you frumpy.

He got down through the elevators and walked towards the park. His steps heavy and straightforward. He ignored the stares he got, some shocked, some flirty, but he didn't mind them.

Because once he looked up to cross the street, his eyes widened seeing you and...

"Steven..?"

Steven. He knows him so well.

He's an academic rival back then in highschool and college, and now a business rival too.

He also can't believe he's now a love rival also?

Iñigo always remained victorious between them, with Steven simmering in second place.

But Steven only laughs, rolls his eyes and moves on.

He hated that part of him.

But now, it seems that Steven is leading in one aspect.

And it's you.

Steven looked around, sightseeing before landing on Iñigo.

Both froze, unsure of what to do.

But this time, Steven smirked and pulled you close, kissing your temple lovingly then scooping Elise and Elliot into his arms, laughing as they giggled in Glee.

People awed at the sight, seeing this "father" play with his children and being openly affectionate with his "wife."

The perfect family.

Iñigo feels like he's looking into the spotlight, looking into a pedestal that looked too far from his reach.

He wanted to break the hands that affectionately caressed your hips, to tear the lips that kissed your temple, to break the ankles that dared walk up to you.

He felt something crack inside him.

Sure, he won't use violence.

On you.

But, the prospect of Steven dying in his arms, torturing him for hours sounds delightful.

He finally snapped.

He's not afraid of blood, nor guts nor any of that gorey stuff.

He got his yandere side from his biological father after all, not Allastor. It was never Allastor, after all, he's a really sweet man.

He could never spawn a devil in hiding.

And, as Iñigo walk away to buy the necessary items to torture Steven, he smirked.

"Business be damned. I'm taking what's mine."

[iris-sistibly]

I'm probably going to hell for this, but I don't feel any sympathy for Julio Borromeo at all.

Dude not only cheated on his wife but also impregnated another woman, and kept this as a secret for years until the death of Filipina.

While I disagree with how Carmela treats Adelina, she has every right to be furious at Julio--this motherfucker had been lying straight to her face for YEARS. Telling Carmela and Teresita that they're the only women in his life, and him telling Adelina how his and Fina's ✨love story✨ began, how he wanted to make her happy after Fina was left by her ex boyfriend after getting her pregnant was like...pure cringe, like bitch who the fuck do you think you are? Some God's gift to women? Some knight-in-shining armour who ought to "save" every lonely woman in the country?

Some of y'all would probably be like, "Oh but he regrets it now, he has been asking for his wife's forgiveness, he's a good father, blah, blah, blah."

This pathetic excuse of a man, tried to deny Adelina when Amelia brought her to his theater (after Fina's death). Tried to lie AGAIN to his wife and daughter despite the truth being slapped on their faces, he's sorry and regrets it? Motherfucker was sorry only after he couldn't deny the truth anymore. Imagine being in Carmela's shoes and your husband, whom you thought was a good man turned out to be a horrible one?

And him not showing up to Fina's funeral to be there for Adelina because he doesn't want to see Fina lifeless is bullshit. He didn't go to the funeral because people will talk, rumors will spread which will eventually cause humiliation to his family, his business going bankrupt, etc. Adelina just loves her father too much.

He loves Filipina?

No, he's a selfish bastard who wants both Carmela and Fina for himself.

He loves his wife?

LIE. You don't betray the person you love. Cheating is a choice, those who cheat always have the excuse of "nagmahal lang ako," and "nagkamali ako," these are so overused. May utak ka diba? You know cheating is bad yet you did it anyway. It's a choice, it's always a choice.

In the show, it was implied that Carmela paid someone to burn the theater. I'm not saying what she did was right, but as the saying goes, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." She was deeply hurt, and betrayed by her own husband. She wanted to inflict the worst pain possible for Julio, to ruin him the way he ruined her. It was Julio who turned her into the villain that she is now, Carmela's only mistake was she projected that anger towards Adelina who is innocent in all of this, and in doing so she ended up resenting her own daughter, Teresita for choosing to have a sisterly relationship with Adelina.

"Oh but she can choose to forgive and move past that."

Yeah, because doing that is a walk in the park **insert sarcasm** you can't just tell someone to move on especially when they are still clearly hurting. Betrayal is the worst kind of pain you could inflict on someone, and when trust is gone it's hard to earn it back...chances are, you won't.

"But Carmela going as far as burning Julio's theater is too much."

I do believe it's too much. But Julio begging Carmela to save the theater by selling some of the properties to save their livelihood? And that being a performer is the only job he knows? Nah, he wants to save the theater to preserve the place that reminds him so much of his affair partner. The livelihood, the shows were not the main reasons. Carmela might have turned into a cold, bitter, resentful woman but let's not forget who turned her into this.

Moral of the story: Julio is a walking red flag and that he deserves the karma hahahaha! Also, divorce should be legal in the Philippines.

P.S. I hope the writers don't come up with the bullshit that the wife is a bitch to justify the man's affair. It's 2024, not the 80's.

[mugiwara-lucy]

So like everyone else I heard what Shitbreak and Peter Thiel’s bitch did to President Zelenskyy today at the White House and….i’m pissed.

For one you can tell this Shitbreak and Peter Thiel’s bitch trying to ambush and set up Zelenskyy but he’s too smart for them. Seriously one of them was a fucking draft dodger who bankrupted a CASINO for Christ’s sake.

But anyways, the way these two beta cuck fake tough piles of SHIT spoke to a guy who just wants to help and save his people pisses me off. Why? We all know if Shitbreak was in the same boat his Epstein files “I would date my daughter” ass would hop ship and leave his people behind. And as for Peter Thiel’s bitch, we saw how during the debate he had with Governor Walz how he talked over those women and yelled at him for daring to hold his accountable for LIES he started about those innocent Haitians (who are now targets of those ICE TERRORISTS) and what I have to say is this:

FUCK YOU Trump. You’re NOWHERE near the leader Zelenskyy is and never will be. You let blue states ravage with COVID after all. It’s why you hate Obama and Biden so much becuase they’re respected worldwide. You? Outside of your maga base, NO ONE takes you seriously and laughs at you. Our Democratic allies can’t stand you and you’re the useful idiot for our enemies. And you know deep down when your old fat ass croaks NO ONE will miss you. It’s why you were talking all that shit about Jimmy Carter. That and he was an actual good person. You act all big and bad but where’s this energy when Putin aired your useless airhead wife’s nudes on Russian TV? Or when Musk’s toddler smeared boogers on your desk and talks over you? A Russian Murderer and a South African Ketamine Addict makes you look like the WEAK, FEEBLE OLD MAN we all know you are. Take your Ivanka picture, go into the corner and scuff off.

Fuck you Vance. At one point in time you called this wannabe dictator out for what he was and then what? You let money corrupt you? You want to make women into practical breeding prisoners because of your mommy issues? And you spread BLATANT lies about Haitian Immigrants eating cats and dogs which RUINED the economy of your HOME STATE. You are evil and a piece of slimy shit.

And for the MAGAs not remorseful and think this is funny and cute, this DAMAGES Americas standing in the world. Like come out of your MAGA bubble for ten seconds. It was DAYS ago when America voted WITH the AXIS OF EVIL (North Korea, Russia and Iran) AGAINST NATO and now the president of a country attacked by a tyrannical dictator being talked over? America and Americans are slowly becoming a pariah akin to North Korea and should this keep up, Americans will not be eligible to travel ANYWHERE.

For those that want to ACTUALLY stand with and help Ukraine (not just posture it for five seconds and go back to something stupid), here’s a link to donate down below:

https://u24.gov.ua.

Now is the time to put up and shut up everyone!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I'm still here ngl..

*

Listen, I see this and feel so much happiness. Jimin dancing, showing who he is, showing the versatility of his style and giving us just a glimpse into the extensive, vast range of his talent.

There's been some revisionism happening regarding BTS that's ratcheted up in the last three years or so. I can't be the only person who's noticed it. People more forcefully asserting things about the members that are just plain absurd, like saying this or that member isn't that talented, or that xyz member has this massive character failing that's only just apparent now for some reason, or that things they've said and done aren't actually the case. After FACE, I noticed people saying shit like Jimin can't sing and can't dance...

That reminds me, I went to a cup-sleeve event in June for another group and someone told me to my face Jimin can't dance and I almost uppercut that bitch. It ticked me off but I didn't actually assault her. What I did instead was ask her to explain what she meant, told her I disagreed, and showed her why by playing Jimin's Black Swan solo DP. She took back her initial claim and said she'd just been in a k-pop group online and all those people were saying is how none of the BTS members are that talented especially Jimin who apparently can't sing to save his life and whatever dancing he can do is limited to a few moves from 6 years ago.

Plain insanity.

Jimin, out of the kindness of his sweet, magnanimous heart, is giving the amnesia patients a crash course in who he is. He's reminding people he is Park Jimin of BTS. The dancer who joined a nearly bankrupt agency, had the shortest training period in that agency's history, and with the least resources, and debuted as the main dancer and lead singer of what is now the biggest group in the world. The man who critics from all over the world laud as a virtuoso, in voice, dance, and performance. His voice has brought men to their knees, calmed babies, enchanted concert halls, made stadiums full of people cry out in pure joy. There's nobody alive or dead like Park Jimin, and the fact we all get to exist in the same time as him is a blessing too many people (for my liking) take for granted.

ThisIsJimin is a gift I'm thankful to Jimin for giving us again.

*

Anyway, I was watching that clip again with a friend and she pointed out how cool the dance practice room was. Noted how it's a massive improvement from the old BigHit halls that had mold growing on the walls and water dripping on live wires in the back. It's taken years, hard work by the members, good business sense from BigHit/HYBE, and a lot of my own hard-earned money as well as the resources (time, money, otherwise) from ARMYs over the years to get to this point - and I just want to say, speaking for myself, even though I still see massive room for improvement, I feel very happy with the state of things.

HYBE is cultivating a solid roster of talent built on BTS's hard work. The world-class facilities in the building is the first good sign, as well as the talent now being fostered there. I love the quality of the army of dancers Jimin had access to for his SMF Pt2 performances, I love that NewJeans is doing so well that Riot Games sought them to feature on their new World's anthem, I love that a whole new generation of incredible groups are growing in the environment created by BTS's own trials and success.

BOYNEXTDOOR is a group that continues to have my attention because all six boys are just that good. They posted their dance practice for Crying today (my favourite song from a rookie group in 2023), and I noticed they did it in a similar dark coloured dance practice room Jimin filmed his #ThisIsJimin choreo in. And that really just put a very silly smile on my face for a reason I can't pinpoint yet.

*

Maybe it's aftereffects from the Jimin Effect after streaming his reel as hard as I'm streaming Indigo lately.

I see the asks you send, about Golden, JK in general, jokers, this or that thing happening in fandom, and I'll get to them at some point but I don't want to talk about them right now. Because I'm still stuck on Jimin showcasing himself in that air conditioned, world class dance practice room that's only possible because of his hard work, tenacity, talent, and love for his group.

I'm still stuck on Jimin and legit cannot move on. He's such a beast. Such a calculating, proud, stubborn, and kind beast of a man.

I'm not sure what's going on with me.

We're in Jimtober so maybe his juju is just extra strong and I can't escape his grip no matter what I try. Anyway, it's a good idea to stream FACE, allow yourself to re-experience his album, check out his other solos as well (played Christmas Love over the weekend and realized it sounds even better on low frequency speakers), and eat a lot of spicy food followed by warm/hot drinks because Jimin is curious about such things (and it really does work).