#because that made sense for an ending
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Cant remember if ive asked yet. If i havent, id love ur take on: 'Well, someone's cranky today.'
-MoA
'Well, someone's cranky today.' + 42 A kiss out of pride @mammalsofaction
(OWCA files AU, post canon)
"This is high school all over again," Heinz pointed out awkwardly. He was right.
Agent P and Agent O sat in the first two- in a row of plastic chairs in the hallway. The door beside them did not lead to the principal's office but to HR's meeting room.
Perry shouldn't be surprised they ended up here. He'd known he would regret it the moment he started throwing trainees (And Heinz Doofenshmirtz) across the office. Nobody got hurt, the trainees learned a valuable lesson about using staplers and laminators for self-defence, and nobody seemed mad initially.
Then Rebecca from HR entered the room. She'd held a grudge against the two of them since that night they'd all played darts together. And she was a very sore loser.
So here they were, sitting side by side like two naughty teenagers.
"Dr Doofenshmirtz?" The door to the meeting room had opened, and a woman that Perry hadn't met before looked at them with a wide smile.
Heinz rose from his chair awkwardly and gave her a limp handshake before she herded him into the meeting room. He glanced at Perry one last time, but there was nothing he could do to help.
Perry spent the next ten minutes glaring at anyone who dared to glance his way.
When the door eventually opened again, Heinz was allowed to leave with another handshake. He was smiling, and for a moment Perry was optimistic.
"Thank you for your time, Heinz. Autism can create difficult situations in a work environment, but if we all take the time to sit down and discuss, I am sure we can craft a set of guidelines that can make things easier for everyone." The smiley woman turned to Perry. "Mr Fletcher, it's your turn."
Perry sighed and stepped up.
"I'll see you in the cafeteria," Heinz said to Perry, he placed one hand on his shoulder and then left. It would be useless for Heinz to wait by the door, but Perry was still a bit disappointed.
"My name is Kenzi," The smiling HR representative said politely as they sat down together. "Let's talk about you."
Kenzi did not know sign language, so Perry had to quickly resort to using his phone for assistance. As he was figuring that out, Kenzi explained that she and Heinz had a lovely conversation.
Perry frowned a little, they were on a first-name basis already?
"Your partner is a bit of a comedian, isn't he?" She asked. "He's very good at telling stories. What a charming guy."
Perry swallowed down the bitter taste of jealousy. So, Heinz charmed his way through the conversation with HR. That was smart. That was good.
His eyes must've betrayed his simmering anger as he announced that he was ready to begin.
That conversation fucking sucked. Perry thought to himself as he finally emerged from the meeting room. Not only was Kenzi impatient with him and barely gave him the time to answer. She also seemed to blame him for other people's behaviour. (If it had just been Heinz, he would've had to agree. But Perry barely even knew some of the agents that woman had mentioned.)
She had ordered him to be more gentle with the trainees. As if the enemy would be gentle with them when they come face to face with a real crisis situation. "Learning environment" is nice and all, but a loaded pistol is dangerous, and if someone messes around with one, Perry is not going to allow such behaviour. Stern and strict is good sometimes.
Kenzi apparently disagreed. She'd tried to manipulate Perry into changing his tune. Luckily for her, she managed to bite her tongue before she finished saying "Use your words" but she had come too close to elegantly catch her mistake.
By the time she allowed Perry to leave -almost thirty minutes later- he was so cross with her that he had to breathe carefully when they shook hands because his instinct was to crush her fingers.
"And Perry?" Kenzi said in lieu of a goodbye as she held the door open for him. "Try to smile once in a while, okay?" Her unnaturally wide grin was back as if to demonstrate.
Perry's fist was so tight his knuckles cracked.
Her eyes flashed to Perry's hands for a second, and he recognized the emotion in her eyes as fear.
In a desperate attempt to save face, Agent P smiled tightly, nodded and left as quickly as he could.
***
Perry stormed into the cafeteria, sat next to Heinz, and slumped into the table.
"That took a lot longer than I expected," Heinz noted and he awkwardly pushed the cup of coffee he had grabbed for Perry towards him. At this point it was lukewarm at best.
Perry groaned vaguely.
"So it didn't go well?" Doof asked, and he slouched lower in an attempt to catch Perry's gaze.
There wasn't much of a reply.
"Well I thought she was kinda nice. I explained that sometimes the kids get a bit rowdy, and then I talked about Vanessa. And Kenzi was such a good listener. She just kinda concluded that it wasn't my fault."
Perry struggled himself into a more proper sitting position and rubbed his face. Extra caffeine would only make his mood worse.
"She gave me her number in case I ever needed help handling a delicate situation."
Heinz hadn't even finished speaking when Perry's fist came down on the table with so much force that his coffee spilt over the rim of its paper cup. He turned to Heinz and glared.
"What? You don't think I need HR's help to behave, do you? I'm pretty sure I can figure it out on my own. I've gotten pretty good at reading other people's emotions. For example, you are annoyed right now."
As if to make a point, Heinz booped Perry's nose.
「I never want to see her again.」
"Pffft," Heinz snorted. "She's not that bad. Someone's just a bit cranky today. Have some coffee. You should try smiling some more, that'll lighten your mo-"
Perry rose from his chair and took Heinz up with him.
Mechanical long fingers scrambled at the cuff of Perry's sleeve. "You're choking me, Perry." Heinz managed to gasp despite the tight grip Perry had around his neck.
Perry dropped his partner back into his chair like a sack of bricks and stormed off.
It took Heinz approximately 25 minutes to find Perry on the bench behind the parking lot.
He cleared his throat and Perry glared at him, sighed deeply, and patted the seat next to him.
"Next time you get mad at me in there, try something else." Heinz huffed as he sat. "HR tried to get me to confess to you being a bastard."
Perry shrugged one shoulder.
"If they ever ask, grabbing each other by the neck is a thing we do."
Perry turned his head and looked at Heinz with a look of disbelief.
"What? You think I'm going to send you back in there after they managed to piss you off that badly? You may be a bastard, but I'm not that mean."
「You lied?」
"Of course I did! I learned from the best, you know." And Heinz elbowed Perry in a faux playful, but actually kinda painful way.
Finally, Perry cracked a smile, and he elbowed back just slightly harder.
"Ah, oof! Now apologise and tell me how well I did." Heinz said as he rubbed where he'd been elbowed in the ribs.
Perry wasn't in the mood for conversation, I hadn't gone well for him today. Instead, he wrapped his arm around his companion and after a moment he kissed him.
Heinz hummed as they kissed, and when they finally parted he smiled smugly. "Don't worry Perry, it won't take long before HR hates us both."
#thanks Choice! I combined both of your prompts into one#because that made sense for an ending#I hope you like it#my drabbles#phineas and ferb#perry the playtpus#human perry the platypus#heinz doofenshmirtz
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Leo learns something about himself 🏳️⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know’’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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The dynamic in Rise between the rest of the team and Leo is. so fucking funny. Because like you've got these three extremely talented individuals who all seem like perfectly reasonable people at first glance, right, but then if you squint hard enough you realize they're actually all batshit insane (affectionate) and the clown boy standing behind them is secretly their common sense.
Clown boy will occasionally put himself and the others in danger to Prove Himself or Prove Someone Wrong (see Minotaur Maze and the movie) but like otherwise... i think people forget Leo's overwhelmingly the voice of reason in most situations?
Raph, Mikey, and Donnie are all incredibly powerful boys with very specific skill sets. They are also, as a direct result of this, the WORST decision-makers on god's green earth lmao. When presented with a problem, Raph will smash, Donnie will blow shit up, and Mikey will razzmatazz. They will all run straight toward death with the same oblivious enthusiasm of a dog about to run straight into a screen door. None of them realize this and all of them think they are Extremely Good At Problem-Solving.
And the guy cursed with the common sense to realize this is literally the LAST person anyone would expect.
When you look closely, the entirety of Rise is actually a chronicle of Leo trying to find new and creative ways to keep this team of superpowered fools alive while simultaneously white-knuckling his Cool Fun Guy persona so the others don't realize he's secretly the Boring Responsible One. Haha, you know what would be Cool and Fun, guys? Not going after the Spine Breaking Bandit lol. Getting home before the sun goes up lol. Evacuating that civilian lol. Not telling the guy dangling me off a roof "you won't, no balls" lol.
The sacred struggle of every iteration of Leonardo is thanklessly wrangling the most trigger-happy siblings in the world, and Rise Leo has not escaped it. He just does an occasional shenanigan to avoid detection and his brothers fall for it every time.
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rise leo#leo#donnie#mikey#raph#raph has the Older Brother Stress while leo has the Common Sense Stress#GOD i adore Rise's take on leo so much#just a funny little guy subtly herding his brothers away from danger like cats while trying desperately to be Chill and Cool about it#he's been dodging the responsibility allegations for YEARS but Splinter caught him right at the very end of the show lmao#because like listen. listen. is rise raph responsible? yes.#is he--in practice--the Responsible One? absolutely NOT#raph is a RUFFIAN and a HOOLIGAN (extremely affectionate)#anyway i think the movie has made people forget that like. for a vast majority of the series leo's the voice of reason
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silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:
context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA
(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)
#in stars and time#isat#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#<- not big ones but the convo this stems from occurs on 3rd floor before king act 2 so#cw hospital#cw stroke#<- brief stroke talk in the clip thats why#odile i am so sorry for making u deal with the fact that i cant read#or just input words?? where there arent any??? i dont know why i do that????#these streams have made me realize i sometimes just autofill words when reading SAFADDA#also random side headcanon i was thinking of while drawing this#is odile speaks alot with her hands?#idk why i just think its fun?#and kinda makes sense as someone who has travelled a lot thru different countries?#personal observation but you can convey/tell a lot without knowing a much of a different language via body language#as someone who grew up with family who spoke a different language that i do not speak LMAO#especially hands!! those say a lot!!#reading body langauge/tone helped me a lot when guessing if what was being talked about a good thing or not#tho tone to a lesser extent since uh it can be hard to tell at times i think ASDFDA#so it makes sense to me???#the art of pointing in general location is a universal skill i think?? yea#to a lesser extent i think siffrin might do this? but more subdued/under the cloak so#the cloak ends up getting in the way 90% of the time so no one can actually see that lmao#okay tag talk over#no stream time today because weather boooooo storms
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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you know the excellent quadruple life fan comic has me thinking about double life again. and MAN. thinking about the soul bonds mechanically. like, before I get into my meta-analysis it’s worth noting that non-diagetically the soulbond mechanic being based on how many hearts someone has is basically the only way I can think to do it in minecraft that’s sensible, but diagetically…
so do you ever think about how the marker of what made people soulmates in double life was pain?
like, soulmates share injuries/pain! that’s the whole premise! like, to the point that day one people were making up elaborate ways to hurt themselves so they could test for their soulmates! you met your (very romantic-coded) partner and confirmed they were the person you were looking for by hitting each other, generally!
being a soulmate in the double life universe isn’t about being compatible, it’s about literally sharing pain, and it’s just… I think about how for some pairs, they share the burden between each other, and it brings them closer. for some pairs, though, the only way they know how to communicate is by hurting one another. and the thing is, this isn’t just a literal thing. like, mechanically, the thing soulmates do is share pain and communicate with pain, but metaphorically, can you say desert duo doesn’t have trouble communicating because half of how they know how to exist is either sharing in pain or causing it for each other? can you say that ranchers’ strength wasn’t a pair of people who understood each other’s pain and desperation to be better than they’ve been before? can you say that divorce quartet isn’t, well—
so pearl wins after scott hurts them one last time don’t you ever think about that,
#trafficblr#double life smp#abuse tw#SO. NOT… REALLY.#although a solid argument can be made about this so I’m including the tag since this is a post all about physically hurting your partner#it’s just that in-universe this isn’t normally framed as abuse.#(which I think counts for a lot here because it is in fact In A Video Game punching is normal mc body language)#but. so I KNOW shared injuries is already a stock soulmate trope and normally a whump one#but the thing is that none of those fics are normally as weird about it as whatever divorce quartet was doing#or impulse and Bdubs for that matter I didn’t put them in this post as to keep it short but#something something. Don’t you think THEIR problem was IGNORING pain until the very end#I am NOT ENOUGH OF A BOAT BOYS PERSON TO ECTEND IT TO THAT#anyway and bigb and ren were willing to surface-level share pain but weren’t either really willing to do it on a deeper level#anyway. it is nearly midnight idk if I am making sense but#sometimes I Think about things
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perhaps overly rambly thoughts on the influencer arc
it is very hard to watch but i don't think it's contrary to what we know of green, and i'm enjoying it just fine.
we know green is a showoff and perfectionist. the color gang all like winning, but green likes making a big display of it too. he's quite a sore winner and loser, and hates having the spotlight taken from him when it is his.
he loves attention and praise. and like, that's okay, don't we all? he cares about his friends in the end.
but i get the feeling that, while they love him and appreciate his talents, his friends don't really give him that big attention that he might want. they're used to him winning and being good at art/performance of any kind. it's normal to them really. maybe even a little disheartening.
so i can easily see how getting that attention in the form of being an influencer is a huge thing for green. an addiction, even. he gets so drawn into it that he overlooks his friends' discomfort, so he can keep being the Perfect Celebrity, keep the hype going.
obviously this end outcome here isn't actually what he wanted, and i'm sure he feels guilt for all this on some level. but he's pushed that away in favor of the high of getting a number to go up, getting more of the spotlight. there's nothing else that matters right now but getting that new dopamine hit. again, it is an addiction.
surely his friends will come around. why don't they get it? this is a good thing for him. he's winning. he's harsh, yes, but he's just trying to be successful. his friends aren't actually hurt (they are), they're doing fine (they're not), what's the issue? (everything.)
i don't think current green is character assassination - right now he's doing horribly and hurting the people around him because he is at his lowest, the worst version of himself where his flaws overtake him. it can go up from here. i have no doubt that by the end of this green is going to get some sense shaken into him and make up with his friends. like, that's just the kind of series this is.
and despite all the character analysis i just did lol - i ALSO think it's important to remember that we are probably taking every little action of these characters infinitely more seriously than the creators are. while the series sometimes dips its toes (or entire face) into being a dramatic and beautiful story, it is ultimately a cartoon, and sometimes the character writing will be put on the back burner for a moment in favor of a gag or an overall episode arc. and that's fine! nothing they're doing is unprecedented for the characters they've set up, and i think they'll wrap this up alright.
#ava#alan becker#ava influencer arc#ava spoilers#ava green#v's post#this ended up uhhhh longer than i set out for it to be lol. but none of it felt super cut-down-able. i hope this all makes sense!#i do love this series however as a veteran d-s-m-p fan you could say i have experience in taking things Too Seriously#and then getting mad because the creators aren't meeting your expectations of the deep angsty interpretation that you made yourself.#sometimes you gotta look back at what the media actually is
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spinneret fun! 🕷️ written by me & nevi
the rest under cut:
#spideypool#wade wilson#peter parker#spider-man#deadpool#i made this in one day fjdjjsjs forgive how weird wade looks in every panel but this is basically just a glorified scribble#also i think his badly drawn faces are funnt#more cringe losers based on nevi + my's au#again#they **** after this.#sorry?#mine#okay wait no I'm back#because put yourself in wade's shoes for a second#your bf's overactive super senses are telling him to get the hell out of dodge but he trusts you so much that he says nah fuck that#I'm safe I'm in good hands#to trust somebody more than you trust your own senses#okay /end#earth-748
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Res AU Joronia drawings. Character rambling and bonus doodles under cut.
This AU takes place a good while after the events of Triple Deluxe happened. Since then, Taranza's mostly recovered mentally from everything. He was able to move on from his grief and (somewhat) forgive himself. Now that Joronia's in his life again, seemingly back to her former self, some of those wounds he'd thought were fully healed have started to ache again. He still feels ultimately guilty for what happened to her.
He's thrilled that Joronia's been given a second chance at life, but is somewhat wary deep down. This feels to good to be true, that she's just back with seemingly no strings attached. The other shoe could drop any day now, and he could lose her all over again. Fearing this, he wants to make the most out of what could be a short time to be together again with his friend.
Joronia senses that there's a distance between the two of them now that wasn't there before. It shouldn't be surprising; he's probably still hurt from what she did. Other people definitely are. She's determined, though, to work hard to make it up to everyone she's hurt, and to prove to them (and herself) that she's not really like that, that she's capable of being better.
The Mirror's influence twisted her mind and her perception of reality. It made her feel like she was inadequate, and that everyone else were enemies to be subjugated. Now, she's supposed to be normal and better, but she still feels like there's something wrong with her head. She still doesn't feel good enough, and it still feels like everyone hates her. It's hard to trust herself. She's not sure if it's some lingering effect of the Mirror, or if there's just something inherently wrong with her now. She's scared.
She's afraid that something will happen, that she'll revert to how she was as Queen, and that she'll hurt Taranza again. Someone who'd always helped her, who'd stuck with her even when she was absolutely horrible to him, and who's kindness she's relying on again now, staying at his home as she worked on getting her life back together. She's a burden on him, and she always has been. She hates it.
Still, her deepest, most selfish wish is that they could be real friends again.
---
These two need to have a long, honest discussion about their feelings toward each other and themselves. Both of them are absolutely terrified about that prospect, though, because they each think that the other secretly resents them to some degree. If they actually talked through it, they'd quickly realize that they both want the same thing.
#apologies for anything confusing or whatever in the text; it took me a while because i'm not very good at expressing my thoughts with words.#i hope that all made sense and that i was able to get my ideas across coherently. i really struggle with that; sorry.#if you have any questions for me; please comment on the post or send me an ask and i will do my best to answer.#also please remember none of the details for this AU are set in stone at the moment and all this is subject to change somewhat.#kirby series#res!au#taranza#joronia#queen sectonia#i need to stop posting things this time of night. everyone's asleep so i end up reblogging it in the morning so people can actually see it.#anyways if you read all that you win a cookie. you can redeem that in my ask box.
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I think there's a genuine conversation to be had about how aro spaces have begun pushing QPRs in a similar way that amatonormativity pushes romantic relationships onto people but a majority of aros just refuse to engage in the discussion because they see it as an attack on QPRs or people saying QPRs are romantic relationships lite instead of actually looking at the fact it's critiquing how some Aros have begun pushing it almost like an alternative to romance and something all Aro's want.
No one is saying QPRs are bad but rather that there is too much push that the idea of a QPR will fix people's problems. "oh you're lonely? just find a QPR!" "You dont have to be in a romantic relationship you can be in a QPR!" "QPR is MORE than friendship" etc etc.
There's a genuine critique here of QPRs being used to continue to push amatonormativity by again assuming that every aro wants a partner - even if not romantic - and I think we can have a genuine conversation about this rather than going at each other throats over a fake argument of "QPRs bad"
#text#aro#aromantic#non-partnering#QPR#queer-platonic relationships#Queerplatonic relationships#non partnering#nonpartnering aro#non-partnering aro#nonamorous#partnering aro#if you havent seen this side of the community good for you but also kindly do not respond to this#because i genuinely do not think you can add worth while commentary on something you have no experience with seeing#also if you are not an aro who pushes QPRs on ppl then great! this post isn't about you so don't leave a comment abt how ur not like that#i on the other hand along with others have found ourselves having negative experiences with how the community is pushing QPRs#i understand QPRs used to and in some cases still are not acknowledged - especially by wider society#but this isn't about wider society it is about aromantic communities#and i know it was just excitement that got being excited to find that they could still partner with people in a non-romantic sense#it made parterning aros feel like they wouldn't end up being alone#but for many people like myself the communities laser focus on QPRs makes it difficult as non-partnering aros to navigate our identity#by society we are told we have to be in a romantic relationship#then in aro spaces we are told we don't have to be in a romantic relationship but instead we can be in a QPR#but no one ever says 'you dont have to be in a relationship' period. end of sentence.#aro spaces have shifted focus on partnering aros and any time non-partnering aros speak up we are shut down#it's 'oh not all aro's are non-partnering' or 'some aros are in qprs'#i know this only comes from the fact there was heavy gatekeeping at one point to only allow aros who didn't date at all#but the response to that shouldnt of been to shut down any and all non-partnering aros in the community#the point is we need to allow options. if the community is only focusing on QPRs then how are non-partnering aros supposed to realize that#not being in any relationship is an option. we cannot let amatonormativity take over a space that is explicitly supposed to be against it
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Double Indemnity, Spellbound and how a retroactive plot twist kicked the communities ass (which also has some VERY interesting implications for Aventio)
I had a very enlightening conversation on TikTok about the nature of these two romance/thrillers, and while unfortunately, I have no idea how to watch them, the plot synopses I’ve seen and analysis other people have made have caused me to come to this conclusion/interpretation of these references:
On the first viewing of the Double Indemnity questline, the reference to the DI movie is meant to be played straight, with Aventurine and Ratio being just as doomed to fail as they are in the movie, and their relationship as equally as toxic and fake.
On second viewing, it’s the complete opposite, and the track (and other movie reference) you receive at the end, Spellbound, proves it.
Let’s start with Double Indemnity.
Also disclaimer I’m gonna be over simplifying the plot/themes of these movies because a) both are singular references, DI is only referenced in the name of the quest itself and Spellbound is only referenced in a track you receive once you complete DI, and references this small probably aren’t meant to be anything more than a fun Easter egg for those who notice it b) this is hoyoverse they aren’t clever enough for that anyways c) the nature of references isn’t going to be having everything be the exact same anyways, so I’m just going to go with the overall interpretation of DI + Spellbound/their impact, picking the stuff which aligns with the actual plot of the DI quest, I don’t care what happens in one frame at 30:01.56 minutes in and neither do the writers
Anyways, how does the Double Indemnity reference on the first viewing seem?
On our first play through of the Double Indemnity quest, we are made to believe that Dr. Ratio and Aventurine do not trust each other, but they are begrudgingly working together for the sake of stealing Penacony for the IPC. Then, Aventurine makes it seem as if he wishes to use the singer Robin’s- also the sister of Sunday, the head of the Oak Family and the one they are negotiating with- death as a means to pressure Sunday into forking over some of the Family’s secrets, which Aventurine will then use against him in future negotiations.
With this setup, the Double Indemnity reference is a solemn warning- Aventurine and Ratio will fail.
You see, in the movie, Phyllis Dietrechson intends to kill her husband in order to earn the money from the Double Indemnity clause (which is a real legal thing btw!), roping in one Walter Neff when he falls for her. However, their relationship isn’t stable and in the end, Walter betrays Phyllis, ratting her out to the investigator Keyes, ultimately meaning they don’t earn the DI clause, also killing Phyllis in the process.
Hopefully you can already see where I’m going with this, but it’s time to draw some fun parallels.
Sunday is Keyes, Ratio is Walter, Aventurine is Phyliss and Robin is Phyliss’s husband.
Although Aventurine a) isn’t married to Robin and b) he didn’t actually kill her, he is the one who witnessed her “death” and in the first viewing of the Double Indemnity quest, we are made to believe he intends to profit off of it, although this time the payout isn’t money: it’s Penacony.
To do this, he enlists the help of Ratio- albeit not seducing him, but still convincing him to help nonetheless- and together they go to meet Sunday for negotiations.
However, Ratio “betrayed” Aventurine, ratting him out to Sunday behind his back and informing him of his plan, which mirrors how Walter confesses to Keyes. This results in Aventurine being sentenced to death, much like how Phyllis dies by Walter’s hand, Aventurine seems like he will die by Ratio’s, calling him a wretch before slinking off.
And there you go, their partnership is as doomed as the one in the movie, failing because their trust + love didn’t hold up till the end, a devious foreshadowing.
At least, that’s how it seems on the first playthrough.
Because Aventurine and Ratio’s plan SUCCEEDS.
And on the second viewing, knowing that the betrayal is fake, you realize they succeed because they do the one thing the people in DI (and I’ll get to Spellbound) DONT do- they actually TRUST each other.
Ratio and Aventurine’s plot is a success. And it’s because they deliberately made it seem like they were doing a Double Indemnity plot. Like they were going to make the same mistakes as the characters in the movie. Sunday falls for the false appearance hook, line and sinker, and that’s his downfall.
They win because they TRUST each other, you can even say because they actually LOVE each other, unlike the characters in the movie, where it’s more list than anything else. Walter and Phyllis don’t make it together to the end but Ratio and Aventurine DO, and they get to continue on with their lives because of it. The reference to Double Indemnity in this quest is genius because it works both before and after you learn the retroactive twist of Penacony. It makes you believe Aventurine + Ratio are doomed to fail, and it makes you realize they were always going to succeed, expertly dawning the false appearances Sunday expects from them, becoming literal actors playing out the roles of two people who will fall short due to their selfishness. Sunday believes he’s seen this film before which is why he BUYS IT, and god it’s just beautiful looking back on it. He thinks he’s Keyes about to uncover a dastardly plot to profit off his sisters death, and in turn he paints Ratio and Aventurine with the identities of those he believes would do such a thing, which they do their best to play into. Ugh it’s amazing.
And now, for Spellbound.
You receive this track after completing Double Indemnity, containing the description above.
Now, this is a reference to Spellbound, another one of Hitchcock’s films.
The main characters in this one are Dr. Anthony Edwards, a man suffering from amnesia, and Dr. Constance Peterson, a psychoanalyst who he was meant to replace, who discovers a dark secret about Edward’s while they fall for one another; he’s an imposter. He believes he killed the real Dr. Edward’s, but she thinks he’s just suffering from a guilt complex. Fake Edward’s goes missing, and the real Edward’s assistant arrived and informs them that he’s missing. She finds Fake Edward again, living under the pseudonym John Brown, and although he tries to leave, she convinces him to stay, telling him that with the help of her mentor, psychoanalysis can help recover his lost memories.
Through an incredibly complicated psychoanalysis of dream, Constance begins to uncover the truth- learning the person who believes himself to be Dr. Edward’s (and is using the pseudonym John Brown) is actually a man named John Ballantyne. Ballantyne accidentally caused the death of his younger brother in the past, resulting in his deep guilt, as well as recalling the location where the real Edwards died- skiing off a cliff to his death. With his memories, they find the body, but it has a bullet wound, so Ballantyne is taken into custody.
However, her boss, Dr. Murchison lets it slip that he actually used to know (and didn’t like) Dr. Edwards, and through another complicated sequence gets him to confess his guilt and ultimately kill himself, which frees Ballantyne, ending the movie with the two going on a honeymoon.
So, what does this mean in the context of the quest line?
Well, let’s say Ballantyne and Constance are representative of Ratio and Aventurine respectively.
“Every psychoanalyst must first have someone else diagnose them.”
If we read Aventurine as the psychoanalyst (Constance) and Ratio as the diagnoser/doctor (Ballantyne), it reveals an interesting interpretation.
That being that they knew the truth from the start/ they had already succeeded.
Or in other words, unlike in Double Indemnity, in Spellbound, they actually succeed.
In the film, Constance is the one doing the diagnosing, the one trying to figure out the truth, and you can see that in Aventurine pretending he’s trying to find out the truth behind Robin’s death. However, in the DI quest, it’s the opposite. Ratio’s as Ballantyne is the one doing the diagnosing for the psychoanalysist, Constance, or rather, Aventurine.
To diagnose someone, you must be very familiar with them, or at the very least the ailment plaguing them, and Ratio he knows Aventurine through and through at the start, and what plagues him (his own sense of meaninglessness) unlike the protagonists in Spellbound who despite falling for one another quickly, don’t begin being intimately familiar with one another.
In this way, they have already succeeded. Aventurine and Ratio already know one another, and while they might not know the reason behind Robin’s death, that was never what they were searching for in the beginning, meaning they effectively can skip through all the drama (aka the ups and downs of Spellbound, finding out the truth behind Robin’s/Edwards’ death), and reach their happy ending- a honeymoon; or in DI’s case, Aventurine attaining his cornerstone, and fulfilling his end of the plan.
Interestingly, Aventurine slots into the role of Ballantyne and Ratio as Constance equally well, with the phone call Constance makes to save Ballantyne being reminiscent of the note Ratio makes to save Aventurine, as well as Aventurine being the replacement, or in the sense, the one to find the truth about Robin.
Personally, I think Aventurine and Ratio are reminiscent of both the main leads in Spellbound, which is why it’s complicated to discern the meaning of the reference. Oh how I wish I knew what the original Chinese description for this was (if you do please tell me 🙏).
Is it just meant to signify them being in love? Is it meant to signify that they will succeed, due to how well they know each other? Is it both, which is what the inclusion of Double Indemnity (the movie) suggests?
Either way, it adds onto the already present idea that the trust between Aventurine and Ratio is what allowed them to succeed in Penacony, and that’s not just something expressed by these movie references.
Think Aventurines Eidolons: Stag Hunt Game and Prisoner’s Dilemma, both of which are game theories about trust. Or how Aventurine says that Ratio knows him best, or how Ratio entrusts Aventurine with close secrets of his, like him being the “Genius” of the council of Mundanites.
“Do you trust me?” “That depends on you.”
These are 2 lines in their 2.0 conversation that really stick out to me. Ratio will always offer his trust so long as Aventurine can prove himself worthy of it, and as we have seen, Aventurine always delivers, proving himself long before Penacony in the Final Victor lightcone, albeit in his weird homoerotic way.
Therefore Ratio will always trust him.
And because of that, they win.
Now whether you take the deep trust between them to be romantic or platonic, or infer the literal honeymoon at the end of Spellbound to mean something for Aventio, either way the feeling absolutely there, and it’s crucial for an understanding of their relationship.
Also damn, the retroactive plot twist fucking slaps.
#hsr#honkai star rail#dr ratio#aventurine#aventio#ratiorine#Sunday hsr#Robin hsr#poor Robin gets mcguffined in this I fear#I need to watch these two movies for real but idk what streaming served would even have them 😭#Thanks Wikipedia for the plot summary ily#Me reading the “the went on a honeymoon” on Wikipedia as the ending for SB 🤨#Aventio honeymoon when#I think it’s romantic but unfortunately I have been bullied into believing the romance in SB is toxic#Even though it’s clear now that any notion of that is just due to Ballantyne’s trauma#I mean they go on a fucking honeymoon#Imo if the film didn’t support them why do that then?#Especially because Ballantyne is innocent#This was so much fun to write#I hope it made sense#Thanks for reading :)
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Man “Battle Nexus: New York” was a great episode but I do have one major gripe with it.
Like. Raph being paired up with Ghostbear? Makes sense. Works great. Works amazing, even.
Mikey being paired up with Meatsweats? Yeah that checks out!!
Donnie getting…Hypno…? I mean. I guess Donnie doesn’t like magic so it kindaaa works but Kendra would have been a much better choice to me personally. Maybe Big Mama didn’t wanna include a human or something…
And Leo getting…uh…one of the Sando Brothers???? Of all villains? Nah let’s be real, his main villain is more Big Mama herself (or Leo could be considered his own worst enemy lmao-). Hell Hypno would have probably worked better here considering their shared love for magic tricks and stuff, but Carl Sando????
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#battle nexus: new york#nah this will always be baffling to me#like no joke big mama really is Leo’s main villain so it makes sense that she’s not paired with him#given that she’s running this all#but giving him ONE of the Sando brothers?? not even both???#outrageous#hypno or even warren would have been better here tbh#at least there’s some basis there for both and either option would have been so fun#not that what we got WASNT fun it def was but the sando bro was the weak link because no one cares about him#and I would have killed for a Donnie Kendra forced team up 😭#Donnie also could have worked with Stockboy ig or hell even Repo tbh?#but Kendra is the much more interesting and fitting choice here for him imo#honestly though this post was made because I do NOT understand the choice of CARL SANDO#both of them together are forgettable enough#separating them gets rid of the one thing they even had#I remember watching and being like who tf is that#he’s got some funny moments but man anyone would have been better 😭#going back to Kendra and Donnie because I LOVE their dynamic#the result of their team up could have ended exactly the same as canon#only instead of Kendra not knowing chess it’s instead her and Donnie arguing about what the right move would be#and they never actually make a move because of it
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Thinking about the what if El was never interested in Mike romantically, she just assumed she was discourse on the tag today and how it's very possible what could make El fully realize this, is when in s5 she see's Will's love for Mike in real time, for the first time, and she's just like damn! That is not me!
#byler#no but arguably that already happened..#remember that! you're the heart#el listening: you're the what now?? im sorry but that's corny as hell. could not be me!#i feel like this could be how el confronts will in s5 about lying to mike#i think it's interesting they had that talk with will and el about her lying to him with will calling her out#if to not circle back to it in some way for her to be like hypocrite much?#tho i doubt that's how it would happen#i have a feeling el is going to understand in will's case in contrast to her and mike's argument#like will and el are siblings so yeah they fight#but i just get the feeling she's going to sense something is up with them (already does)#and something big will happen and i feel like she's going to see the truth before they're able to#and i think will is probably going to realize last because he really does not think it could ever happen now#and also because of el i think will would feel like its wrong unless he was confident she would be okay with it#so i could totally see will not allowing himself to be happy in that sense even if he realized mike could return his feelings#but by then mike's already made his peace with el and they're good#UGHHGHHG s5 arrive now!#no but isn't it kind of side eye that they've never shown us el be confronted with mike and wills friendship at all?#like in s1 and s3 at the end Mike mentions will in his plans with el#and that's about where it ends#we have not seen her exposed to their dynamic and like reacting to it before#UNTIL THE END OF S4!!!
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my unabridged thoughts on 278-279:
#except in spongebob it actually made sense for the cyclops to be the real big bad because it was foreshadowed properly#i can't believe i'm saying this but#LO has less writing structure than spongebob#and i fucking love spongebob but LO is deadass trying to be taken more seriously and it fails so hard LOL#also real talk that's totally the last we've seen of apollo#obv i won't know that for sure until 280 drops but like i'm not holding my breath#having ouranos nom him up was the easiest way for rachel to write her hardest conflict out of the story#so yeah let's not be surprised if that was the end of apollo's plot arc lmaoo#lo critical#anti lore olympus#lore olympus criticism
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Shadowbringers is about learning how to live.
Your enemy is stasis- everything and everyone is stagnant, they wait and wait for something to happen, but don't do anything to make it so (because the ones who tried before failed, because they don't know what to do/how to do it). People don't change, they don't try, not really. The crystarium is doing well, it's independent and sustainable, but it doesn't have the reach or power to do much outside of Lakeland. The Exarch is more-or-less confined to the city (because of the tower, because he's waiting for you), so even if he had power elsewhere, he'd be limited with how much he, personally, can do.
Eulemore is filled with mindless indulgence, there's no hardships or labour or anything but luxury for the free citizens, and the bonded only have to worry about fulfilling the task(s) they were brought for. The outside world doesn't matter, hard work doesn't matter, personal fulfillment beyond indulgence doesn't matter, everything exist solely in the moment. The people out in Kholusia have pretty much given up, they stay close to the city in the hopes that this time they will be picked, this time they will be saved. They wait and wait and do nothing but wait. The ones who try to live on are dying out or eventually give up and join the rest in waiting.
Ahm Areang, Rak'tika, even Il Mheg are all just waiting for something, anything to happen. They go day to day, surviving simply because it's all they can. Nothing changes.
Until, of course, you should up. You, who causes a ripple of change simply by existing, who can move the immovable by sheer will. You showed them that things can change, that things can, and will happen, if they just try. You show them that they can make things better, that there is an option besides waiting for a slow death, if they'd just grab fate by the neck and tell it "No. We are doing this my way".
And they do. They rally up together and do what they thought impossible. Not all their efforts succeed(not immediately), but they tried. They tried, they failed, and they got up and tried again and again until it did work. They take the chances, not knowing how it'll turn out (because it's not about whether it fails or succeeds, it's about having tried).
They learn how to try, little by little, and every step they learn what it means to really live.
Endwalker is about learning how to love life.
Your enemy is nihilism- the idea that nothing matters, that there is no real joy to be found that isn't snuffed out by misery. A concept that denounces greys in favor of a black-and-white view where black is all encompassing. Everywhere you go, people are doing what they can to survive, but refuses (or maybe are afraid to, or maybe never knew they could) try to actually save themselves. The Forum plans for escape, to leave their homeworld behind and take whatever they can afford. They will live on, but they won't be saved, no one is saved(and even with escape they aren't safe, Despair is everywhere and She will not stop until all has become Nothing).
The Loporrits love Etheirys, but in the way Winter loves Spring. They know about it, they are so close to it, but they are distant. They're strangers, they've never met. It's love, and it's pure and true, but it's also just love. It's surface-level(because the surface is all they had). Their love is pure but it's instinctual. Programmed. They love because they don't know how to not love. They want to save it's people, save us, but they don't know what it really means to save, so they create refuge instead(because that's what She told them to, because this is how love works for them).
The people of Garlemald are terrified, they are victims of extreme indoctrination, the (deserved) push-back their army got proved them "right"(that we are savage beasts to fear, that they are but prey in the maws of rabid dogs). They want to be build-up again, but what's left for them now? The world hates them(and it's all their fault, the ones who see past the propaganda know this, but who will listen to them?) and they are dying. It's so cold and the fuel is running out. They won't accept help, because they've been filled with the idea that there is no such thing as pure kindness from "savages"(and they are too prideful to question it, to break apart from the illusion that they are surperior, because they're terrified to face the truth).
The sky screams, the earth wheeps and the foundation of existence is overtaken by Despair, misery is around every corner and who knows what will happen now? Where do we go? What do we do? We live and live but for what?
What's the point of it all?
That's the question, and the answer is everything. We live because there is joy to be found. Because there is beauty in the world. Because there are stars in the sky. Because flowers bloom in spring. Because cats purr. Because waves crash against the shore. Because of every single little thing we can see, hear or feel. Because we love and are loved. Because there are things to do and discover. Because why not?
And you tell them this, by letting them see that there is more to life than the little they have seen. The Forum has closed it's eyes to anything but it's own kith and kin, everything outside of Old Sharlayan is irrelevant(non-intervention, always non-intervention) and it takes the entire world coming and telling them "We are here. We are alive, and we will make tomorrow happen." for them to realize they have slowly been killing themselves and what they stand for(you pride yourself on knowledge, but where is your wisdom? What do you truly know of things outside your own bubble? You do not know that which is lived because you refuse to aknowledge anything but the written word).
The Loporrits see Etheirys itself, they experience it's corners and valleys and learn what love can really be. They want to save it, truly save it, because they love and this time it's informed, it's personal(I love you, I love you, and I want you to know I love your loves too).
In Garlemald everything is slow, unsteady and complicated, but it's changing. They're changing. With every person who accepts help the illusion of supremacy and "purity" melts away just a bit, and the wall standing between them and us breaks a little(it will never vanish completely, years upon years of oppression and subjugation and conquest don't disappear like that, but it's a start).
Shadobringers is about learning how to live, but Endwalker is about learning how to love life.
#FINALLY I FOUND A WAY TO PUT IT TO WORDS#its like. shb is about trying and trying again and again regardless of how it turns out-#because life is a game of dice were any and all sides are possible#but you have to throw it. because if you dont you wont get anything- be it good or bad#and thats not living#and ew is like. doing things not because you have to but because you *want* to#you throw the dice because you want *that* side(s). because you want something (to happen/to exist/to love)#living is trying and loving is wanting. you cant love without life and you cant live without love. not really#i think moreso than any other expacs that shb & ew enhance each other when viewed together (in a broad sense- in a collective)#this turned halfway into poetry at the end but its the only way i could put it that made like. sense to me. its about Feeling and loving and#living and everything all at once#tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#shadowbringers#endwalker#xander rambles#going insane. my brain is melting and being build up again and again and again
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