#because of med tech and stuff

[coffeeinthelibrary]

the whole “society is addicted to screens” trope is kinda overdone, HOWEVER my phone broke today and i couldn’t use it for seven (7) hours and was more productive in those seven hours than i have been for my entire life - i finished reading a book i’ve been putting off, i got some revision done, i went on a walk. and then i got my phone back and IMMEDIATELY went onto instagram and wasted an hour scrolling through my feed we truly are the most blessed and cursed generation

[quietwingsinthesky]

(missy voice) yes im evil but do you think im not going to take even to pick up their hormones? im not a monster, doctor.

[andhumanslovedstories]

The constant thing on nursing as a profession on this website is getting kind of exhausting to me. I am so truly sorry that people have had negative experiences with nurses and they absolutely do not deserve that. But it’s such a massive profession with such a huge diversity of people and practices and people paint it in such broad strokes and it’s starting to kind of hurt my feelings :/ Thoughts? Am I just being a baby/does this ever bother you?

Honestly the constant negativity I saw towards nursing was why I started writing about nursing so much more. It's not that I think that negativity is incorrect--people HAVE had horrible experiences with nursing, some nurses do abuse their power, and that even without abusing power it is easy to hurt a patient. I seek out and appreciate those accounts, people should share those, people have every right to talk about their experiences. But if we're being human about it, yeah, it does bother me to see posts that call me and everyone I work with mean girls. I don't think those posts shouldn't exist, and at the same time, it is frustrating that it seems to be the dominant narrative about nurses in the particular parts of the internet where I spend time.

A big annoyance to me is that SO MANY CRITICISM of nursing is gendered! We're catty, we're bitches, we're mean girls, we're "the female versions of cops" like there aren't female cops and male nurses. And frankly, the worst nurses I have worked with have overwhelming been men. To be clear and to state the obvious, many male nurses are good at their job. We also know that female-dominated professions get valued less than male-dominated, and that men in those fields disproportionately get leadership positions.

And I've listened to patient complaints about some nurses who, sure, may have had a bad interaction with the patient, but who I KNOW are superb, brilliant, and compassionate professionals. They're also women of color who don't smile.

Nurses are the tip of the spear, as people talking about med errors love to say. Nurses are at the bedside, present and available to be mad at. We wake you up for vitals at 4 am, enforce fluid restrictions, tell you there's no more pain meds, and take ten minutes answering your call light when you desperately need to pee. Nurses are very accessible to be mad at.

There's weirdness about the perception of nurses in general. We're angels, we're heroes, we do stuff that no one else could, we're caregivers, we're nurturers, we're miracle workers, we're the people in the hospital who do "the real work*," this work is our calling, and this work is exclusively wiping butts and hand out pills. And by the way, wiping butts is degrading work. That's why we're angels. A guy shook my hand in the grocery store today because I told him I was a nurse. That's wild. Fun to be a mean girl angel cop hero.

(*untrue. you could not pay me a billion dollars to do the work doctors, surgeons, PTs/OTs, lab techs, social workers, pharmacists, and a thousand other specialized and often much less visible professions do.)

[amsgrey]

Deja Vu II

Part I

Okay so, I have been researching more and trying to get things at least somewhat accurate before I wrote part two. In the first part, I wrote TBI, with further research, what I was actually trying to write is an Anoxic brain Injury (still technically a TBI). The whole idea there is when the brain is starved of oxygen critical functions are impacted and there can be a whole bunch of differing symptoms after it. OBVIOUSLY, I am NOT a medical professional, so take everything with a big ol' grain of salt. I am thinking of writing some more parts to this but purely when I have time bc adult life sucks. I kept the ending open but also al actual end, unlike the first part. Hope it is somewhat enjoyable.

WARNINGS: Medical stay, seizures, talk of needles + medical procedures, hospitals, Will and Jay being their usually angsty selves, poor writing and zero editing

"Will?"

Abrams looked between the Halsteads, not sure what his place was. Everyone remembered when Pat Halstead passed, mostly because the Halstead brawl was talked about for weeks. Will Halstead was known for causing headaches for plenty of people around Med, he was the topic of gossip all through the building.

Abrams was saved by the bell - literally. His pager started beeping, excusing him from the brewing storm between the brothers.

"I'll put in for the tests," He tossed over his shoulder, disappearing into the stream of medical workers.

"Will." Jay snapped, glowering at his brother.

Will scrubbed a hand down his face, "Abrams needs to run more tests."

"More tests?" Jay pressed, "What just happened, Will?"

Will shook his head, looking at his younger brother he knew, telling Jay how bad this might be, would destroy him. Jay hated hospitals, hated medical things in general. Will couldn't look him in the eye and plant the same fear he had gnawing at him.

"I don't know, Jay," Will sighed, "I'm not a neurologist."

Jay didn't want to accept his answer, but Will didn't give him much of a chance. He turned back to your hospital room, forcing a smile as he entered.

"What was that about?" You asked, exactly where they left you.

"Just more tests," Will smiled. He stopped at the top of your bed, checking you over with doctor's eyes. You could always tell when he flipped between Big Brother and Doctor because Big Brother Will wore his emotions. Doctor Will was better at keeping his poker face like he was now.

Will's eyes flittered around the monitors before settling back on yours. His eyes softened, the slight furrow in his brow disappearing and a smile pulling on his lips again.

"You feeling alright?"

You nodded, "I'm just tired."

Will nodded, he reached out and brushed the hair off your forehead, "Get some sleep, yeah? We'll be here the whole time."

Jay reached out and squeezed your hand, before pulling up the blanket and tucking you in.

A few hours later, you were sitting up in your hospital bed while a Neurology Tech attached electrodes to your scalp. Jay had left for home, for a shower and clean clothes. He promised he would bring back your blanket and pillow and some other stuff to make you more comfortable, seeming Will said it would be okay.

While he was gone, Will sat at the end of the bed, holding your hand through the Electrode placement. After the Tech finished, you were attached to a monitor with wires upon wires, all differing colours. The tech apologized for the cap that sat over all the leads, promising it wasn’t too bad.

“it’s a new fashion trend,” you joked, smiling at the tech, “Nuero floor chic.”

The tech laughed, continuing her work. When she was done, she walked you through what she had done. Explaining the placement and the leads, and how it all worked.

"This is your personal EEG," She explained, gesturing to the boxy machine on wheels that your wires were attached to, "Try to keep it close."

She explained a few more things, then promised to return in a little while. In her absence, Dr. Abrams stopped through again. He looked over the techs work, mumbling to himself and making medical comments only Will understood.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

You had already taken a nap, so you weren't as tired as you had been.

"Sick of sitting," You said, stretching your legs and accidentally nudging Will in the process. Will playfully batted at your feet, feigning offence.

Abrams pulled at the EEG machine on wheels, testing how the wheels glided, "If you are feeling up for it, you can go for a small walk."

You lit up, "I can?"

"If you take it slow," Abrams ordered, "And Will is by your side."

Will nodded, "Are you feeling up for it?"

"Yes."

Will helped you detangle yourself from the blanket, letting you adjust to being fully upright for the first time that day. Your feet dangled over the bed as you took a moment to compose your spinning head. Will pulled a pair of socks over your bare feet, muttering something about keeping your toes warm. He held your arm as you stood up, supporting your weight as your body adjusted again.

"You alright?"

"Mmm," You responded, focused on staying upright.

"Okay," Will wrapped an arm around your waist, "One step at a time, we'll try to make it to the nurse's station and back."

It was slow going. With every step you took, it felt like the world was twisting, like walking through an earthquake. Will's arms hovered around you, only holding you up when you needed the support. He was so steady in his support, his warm presence keeping you grounded and calm.

Two steps outside of your room, Jay bounded up with your pillow and blanket tucked under his arm.

"They're upright," He commented, "Nice hair, too."

He reached out and pretended to ruffle your hair, careful to avoid touching the wires around your head. You reached out to smack his hand, but missed drastically.

You frowned at Jay, frustration barely contained, "Sshut. uphh."

The words sounded fumbled through your gritted teeth. Abrams had mentioned how you needed to take things slow and Will tried to tell you that it might be frustrating at first, but you weren’t expecting to feel such anger. It was gnawing away at you. A week ago you were dancing around with Makayla, wrangling her for a weekend while Kim and Adam worked. You had run around, danced, sung, every little thing that made Makayla happy. Not you hardly knew how to move your feet, could hardly tell what direction was up.

The anger grew and held firm in your head, making itself known with its red cloud fogging your mind.

Will grabbed your hand, "You okay?"

"Hmm."

Your vision blurred, everything swaying and twisting as you fell forward.

Will was faster than Jay was, for once. He saw the signs a mile away, already braced for when you would fall. He held you to his chest, lowering both of you to the ground and cradling your head as your body started to convulse.

Jay immediately dropped what he was carrying, falling to his knees by your side. Jay looked up at Will trying to ask silently what to do, but the eldest Halstead had gone full doctor mode.

"Need some help over here!" Will shouted, calling for the nurse's assistance.

"I need you to breathe,” Will spoke with such certainty, like he was treating any other patient.

“You’re okay,” Will kept repeating, “Just breathe, I’ve got you.”

Jay was ushered out of the way by the nurses, who crowded in with monitors and equipment to help Dr Halstead. All Jay could do was watch helplessly.

Jay held his breath as the medical team got you off the ground and transferred you back to the hospital bed. The leads they had removed that morning were reattached, placed on your ashen skin.

Dr Abrams rushed into the room and ordered Will to get out of his way, the forced politeness gone now the situation was emergent. Will stepped back, somewhat dubiously, letting Abrams run his team.

“How did you do that?” Jay asked when will stood by his side, the pair of them watching as Abrams and the team worked.

With a dose of meds, the convulsions stopped, but the team checked over the leads and kept working.

“Do what?” Will asked, turning to look at his brother. Jay had grown pale, the fear and anxiety he felt spelt out across his features. His eyes kept darting from you to the heart monitor screen like it was going to flatline.

“Stay so calm?” Jay whispered, taking a deep breath for the first time in the last few minutes. The nurses placed a mask over your face, securing it behind your head and then leaving the Halsteads and Abrams in the room.

“Jay…” Will tried to find a way to explain it, how he could just shut off his fear in that moment to help you. But he couldn’t find the words.

“She’s stable,” Abrams spoke in the silence that had formed, “From now on, we’ll keep giving them diazepam to keep them relaxed. No more strolls, even if it is supervised.”

Will nodded, taking it in.

Abrams was mostly speaking to Will, Jay was by your side, focused solely on you. He held your hand, careful to avoid the IV that was in the back of it. He watched you breathe, every-time you exhaled, he watched the mask fog up. He listened to the quiet puffs and the melodic beeping. You were okay. He kept trying to force himself to remember that. You were okay.

“Hopefully we can get this under control. In the meantime, we’ll keep monitoring, keep on with the EEG testing for the next few hours. Hopefully we’ll learn more.”

Will nodded, clapping Abrams on the back, “Thanks, Sam.”

The big brother in him wanted to press for answers, but the doctor in him knew that sometimes Doctors didn’t have the answers. If Abrams knew, he would share.

Will did a check over you and the monitors with his eyes, again. Then looked over to Jay, who looked completely deflated. It was no secret that Jay hated hospitals and medical treatment in general, especially needles. Spending time in hospitals usually gave him the creeps and he would always say to Will, “I don’t know how you do it, man.”

But Jay hadn’t complained even once. Not when he was watching the IV get put in your hand, or while you were attached to countless machines. Will knew it was because he felt hopeless. The same look that he wore at their dads bedside he wore now. Will stood and stared for a while, the memory playing in his mind in time with real life. This was different. You weren’t on life support like your father had been, things were different. That didn’t change the memories Will had of his dads last moments plaguing his mind.

“I stayed calm because i had too,” Will finally spoke. Jay looked up, watching his brother cross his arms over his chest and take a deep breath.

“I had to stay calm, for her.”

Jay shook his head, “I just froze, Will. And you-“

“Trained for years to react in medical emergency situations, spent years working the ER,” Will interrupted.

“Jay,” Will reached over the bed and gave jays shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “I do this every day. I know how to tune out the emotions and focus on medical stuff.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Will sat on one of the chairs, mirroring Jay across the bed, “Listen. I could never get used to being shot at, could never be shot at and react how you do. Because I’m not trained, I’m not good at that. You aren’t a doctor Jay, stop beating yourself up over something that was a basic human reaction.”

Jay didn't answer, letting silence fall over the room. Neither one of the brothers was up for a conversation, mostly just consumed with their own thoughts as they watched you sleep.

You had stirred a few times in the coming hours but mostly stayed sleeping. Will told Jay that it was a combination of the medication and the stress of recent events catching up with you. In his words, it was nothing to worry about.

"Hey," A soft voice called from the door, Will and Jay stood to greet Hailey as she stepped into the room.

Will and Jay had been off work since you had gotten worse, staying by your side or close by ever since. Both Voight and Goodwin understood, giving them all the time they needed.

"I brought some supplies," Hailey joked, handing food over to the brothers, "And I stopped by home and Wills, got some clothes."

"Thanks, Hailey."

"Yeah, Of course." Hailey stood by Jay, taking his hand for his comfort. "How's she doing?"

Will relayed the events of the day, the incident in the hall and all the things that had happened since. Things were moving fast, more tests and hopeful treatment plans were being talked about.

"It'll be okay," Will finished, mostly trying to convince Jay more than himself. He knew the look on Abram's face, knew that everything was far from okay.

Will told Jay to go back to work after a week, promising him that sitting by your side was a one-man job. Will had spoken to Goodwin, who agreed to let him take his occurred PTO for as long as he needed. So for the three weeks you were in the hospital he stayed by your side. You weren't used to having Will there every single minute of every single day, but you didn't mind it too much. Mostly he helped you go on walks or watched over you like a personal nurse. You knew that he and Jay were worried, but the overprotective brother act was suffocating at times. During the last week of your stay, you managed to convince him to let you have more space - that when he left the room you wouldn't make a break for it like Jay would. He agreed hesitantly, mostly hanging around from lunch until you fell asleep at night. You complained to Jay when he visited every day, but you were thankful he was there.

On the last few days of your time in the hospital, you were more independent, nothing like what you were before the accident, but more than before. You could walk small distances unsupported and some of your fine motor skills came back. The PT had told you it was common after TBI's for patients to lose control of their movements and motor skills, she promised that you would get better as time went on.

Dr Abrams had spoken to Will and Jay about Rehabilitation centres, there were a few in the city that focused on TBI rehabilitation but Will had been dragging his feet. Jay wanted to do what was best for you, even if it meant you might have to stay in a rehab facility. Will had a sour taste in his mouth over it all.

"Come in," Goodwin called from inside her office.

Will pushed open the door, greeting Sharon and Peter.

"What can I help you with, Doctor Halstead?" Sharon asked after Peter had left.

Will explained his plan, reviewing all the details he had sorted out. When he finished, Sharon was nodding in approval.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I am," Will was sure nothing could change his mind now.

"Okay then, I will talk to Dr Archer, and see how we can help," Goodwin bid Will the best, letting him continue on his way.

Will met Jay right outside your room, almost running straight into him.

"Will," Jay grabbed his brother's arm, "We need to talk about the rehab facility-"

"Yeah," Will nodded, "I know, i have a plan."

Will ushed Jay back into the room. He gestured to Jay to a chair and took a seat at the end of your bed. You were expecting him to stop by, sitting up properly on the bed expecting some kind of serious conversation from the eldest Halstead.

"What is it, doc?" You joked.

Will smiled, reaching out and holding your hand, "I have spoken to Dr Abrams and Sharon Goodwin and I have decided that we won't be trying to find a rehab facility."

Jay sighed, he had been arguing with Will about this for the better part of the week. "Will-"

"I think you should stay with me," Will told you directly, "I've taken a leave of absence, I think you should be home and recovering."

You looked to Jay, who was just as surprised. Jay hardly got caught off guard by Will, right now he had never been more surprised.

"Are you sure?" Jay broke the silence that settled over the room.

"If that is what you want?"

You could feel the joy blooming in your chest, a wide smile breaking across your face, "Yes. Please, yes."

Will mirrored your grin, pulling you into a tight hug and kissing your forehead. At times like this, you were reminded how much Will and Jay became like parents to you after your father's death. Although it was painful for all of you, you didn't have a good relationship with your father. He was never caring or affectionate, he never came to your sports games or awards, that was all Jay and Will. They stepped up and took care of you, they always have and promised they always would. You were so drained from the last few days of tests and the week in the hospital that you felt like you might burst into tears.

Will could sense your fragile state, staying sitting by your side and holding your hand. Jay got to his feet and pulled you into a hug too, then clapped Will on the back. 

“So when am I allowed out?” You pressed, hoping to be home and somewhere familiar. 

“Slow your roll,” Jay laughed, “There's still things that need to be organized.” 

You let out a loud dramatic sigh, “I hate it here,” You whined. 

Will wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him and playfully messing up your hair, “It won't be too much longer, promise.” 

“Pinky promise?” You raised your finger, dramatically pouting. 

Will indulged you, linking his pinky through yours and giving you a serious stare, “Pinky promise.”

taglist: @halstead-severide-fan

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday: Curtis Everett

Summary: Curtis decides to take the next step and ask if you're willing to meet offline.

A/N: Reader is female. No physical descriptors used.

Warnings: None that I can tell. Please let me know if I missed any.

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Curtis flops into his office chair after telling Steve to get Bucky back here. He should be upset because Bucky was wasting time getting a fancy coffee when he knew Curtis would be finishing up the code today. Instead, he takes the opportunity to grab his phone and chat with you.

Snowpiercer85: I hope you're having a better day today.

Unsurprisingly it takes a few minutes for you to respond.

HeartMonitor3000: better now that we're chatting.

Curtis feels his cheeks heat up.

Snow: Is that asshole student still on your floor?

Heart: sadly, yes. But at least we've only gotta deal with him for another month.

Snow: Oh?

Heart: that's when his rotation ends. a few of us are planning a small celebration once he's gone.

Curtis chuckles at that. He figures working as a nurse like you do is stressful enough but having some upstart med student whose parents made a big donation definitely made it worse.

Snow: By the way, been missing you on the server. Too tired to play?

Heart: no. I gotta get my computer fixed.

Snow: What's wrong with it?

Heart: I don't know, that's why I need to take it in.

Snow: You know I work in IT, right? What's going on with it?

Heart: the damn thing keeps freezing on me. I'll be in the middle of a game and suddenly everything just stops.

Snow: "Stops" as in "goes black"?

Heart: stops as in no sound, no mouse, no keys, nothing.

Curtis's heart leaps in his chest. This is an opportunity he's been looking for: a chance to meet you in person. He's wanted to meet you offline for months now but knows that it can be a touchy subject for a lot of reasons. He takes a few breaths to think about how to put it so he doesn't scare you off.

Snow: I've got some ideas what could be wrong but I'd need to look at it to be sure. Feel free to say "no" but, if you'd be willing to meet up at the library or something? Maybe even a park? Or the mall?

He tries to not take it to heart when you don't respond right away. You're a nurse. This is a potentially big deal. It's understandable you'd need time to answer him. Right? But after a few hours he's starting to lose hope and starts mentally berating himself for fucking things up. He's trying to work but he can't focus so he stuffs his phone into his pocket and goes for a walk around the building.

After a couple of laps he hears his phone ding. He checks and sees it's a message from you.

Heart: Tomorrow at the coffee shop across from the main library. 3PM.

Next

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82 ; @peyton-warren @ronearoundblindly; @stellar-solar-flare

[chicago-pd-is-weird]

Jay Halstead x Reader Oneshot

Synopsis: Jay and reader are together, and reader works at Med in ED with Will. Reader has a lot of anxiety because Jay is a cop, thinking every cop that is brought in may be Jay.

TW: anxiety/panic attacks is a main theme in this, also some mention of blood and doctor-y stuff because reader works at Med in ED

Requested by: @sorry-i-spaced

Thank you so much! This was fun to write!

Any other oneshot requests, please DM me! :)

“We got a Stevenson!” A paramedic called out as they rolled into the ED. You and several other doctors sprung into action, running toward where the paramedics were coming in. ‘Stevenson’ was the code name for a cop, to let Med know who it was, no matter if they were in uniform, plainclothes, or undercover.

“(Y/N)! Rhodes! Trauma three!” Maggie’s voice called from the desk. Working in the ED was no walk in the park, especially in the middle of Chicago. You made your way quickly to where Maggie pointed you, picking up the pace as they wheeled in a man who was surrounded by cops. You pushed through the crowd and into the room, seeing the man on the gurney with three bullet holes in him. You helped get him moved over, then assessed the damage, Dr. Rhodes right behind you to help.

“Three bullet wounds, center mass. I’m assuming this is the perpetrator, not our Stevenson?” You spoke out loud. Some of the officers outside the room confirmed your thoughts.

Your heart was already pumping from the adrenaline as you worked on the man, but you couldn’t help it as it beat faster, hoping the officer shot wasn’t Jay Halstead. It made you especially nervous when the officers outside the room talked amongst one another, saying the man shot was a detective. Bile started to rise in your throat, but you were pulled back by the monitors beeping rapidly. You took immediate action as you snapped out of your anxiety for just a few moments.

You finally stabilized the man enough to take him to surgery, letting the nurses and techs take him with Dr. Rhodes. You backed away, looking around the room at the mess that had been made. For a moment, you stood in silence, looking around at the blood and various instruments that were around the room, as well as the blood on your gloves and scrubs.

Blood. You saw it every day, and yet, you couldn’t help but get a nauseous at the sight. You thought maybe that detective, who was fighting for his life, was bleeding out. That maybe it was the man you loved. Maybe he was in the other room, clinging to life, and here you were, trying to save the man who shot him. The notion made you sick to your stomach. You ripped off your bloody gloves and left them in the room, quickly moving to the nearest bathroom to empty your stomach of your breakfast. You panted in between heaves, gripping the toilet for dear life as you trembled at the thought of Jay dying and you saving the man who killed him.

You and Jay had met through Will, one of your coworkers and closest friends at Chicago Med. Will and Jay were brothers, and both had taken a liking to you at first, but you ultimately decided that romance with a doctor at the same hospital as you would be too complicated. You never expected the anxiety that came with beings cop’s girlfriend, though. You’d been prone to anxiety in the past, but it ramped up when you started getting serious with Jay. You had episodes like this a lot, no matter what cop came in. It had never been Jay in the past, but it only took one bullet in the wrong spot for him to die.

When the nausea passed, you slowly pushed yourself to your feet, though still unsteady as your head spin. You flushed, washed your hands and face, then made your way to the locker rooms to change out of your scrubs and into a fresh pair. When you re-emerged, you were met with Will, who gently pulled you aside before anyone else could see you. “Hey, (Y/N), you okay?” Will already knew the answer to that. He was the only one who knew the full story about these episodes you had at work. Although Jay knew some of it, especially about your anxiety, he didn’t know the full picture, and you’d sworn Will into secrecy over it.

“Will, it wasn’t him, was it?”

“No, (Y/N), Jay is fine. I talked to him just a little bit ago. He is investigating this with Intelligence. He might still be here. He was looking for you.”

You let out a shaky breath, but nodded. You were relieved, but needed to see for yourself. You walked with Will back to where he’d last seen Jay, your stomach settling down as you saw him standing with Detective Lindsay, talking to Maggie. You walked over, leaning on the counter with a hum beside him, hand reaching out to rest atop his on the counter.

Jay smiled when he saw you, leaning over and kissing your cheek. “Hey, was looking for you earlier. That perp going to make it?”

Instantly, your anxiety faded away, as if it was never there in the first place. Jay had that effect on you, especially when he was upright and acting like himself. “It’s touch and go, I think,” you said with a soft sigh. “We did what we could. Rhodes took him to surgery prolly about a half hour ago. If he does make it, it’ll be a hard and long road.”

Jay hummed and looked up at Will, who had taken a place behind the counter with Maggie. “And what about the detective?”

“He’ll make it,” Will replied. “Barring complications, he should be back on the job within a few weeks.”

“That’s good,” Jay replied, shifting his gaze back to you, unable to help the smile that pulled on his lips. “Hey, don’t look so down. We’ve got this.”

Your eyes met his, not realizing you’d looked upset. You smiled at him, nodding. “I know,” you replied. “It just must be hard that it’s one of your own, yaknow?”

“The risks we take,” he said with a small shrug. His statement was so nonchalant, which you didn’t like. You had to force yourself to focus on anything else to keep your rising anxiety at bay. Jay and Erin left soon after, and you shuddered, but moved back to work, checking on some other patients.

— —

“Stevenson incoming!” Maggie’s voice called out. You froze, looking up from the computer you had been typing at, swallowing hard. Your mouth ran dry, as stats were called by the paramedics. “Male, mid-thirties, stabbed multiple times.” You stood quickly, but Maggie didn’t assign you to it. You probably wouldn’t have been much help anyways, seeing as you were on the verge of an attack.

A firm hand was placed on your shoulder, pulling you back to reality as you gasped, looking behind you to see Will. “Come on,” he said softly, nodding to you. “It’s okay, come on.”

You let out a shaky breath, walking with Will out to the small break room. He got you coffee, which you took whether you liked it or not. It was something to pull you back into reality. “I-I’m sorry, I just…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Will said, shaking his head. “I get the same feeling every time, but Jay just texted me that we are meeting for lunch, so it can’t be him.”

“I shouldn’t feel so much relief from this,” you said, putting your hands to your face, wiping away some tears that had started to escape. “Someone is hurt, yaknow? But I… I’m so terrified of something happening.”

“Have you talked to anyone about this? Maybe Dr. Charles can help.”

“No, no,” you said, sighing heavily, sniffling and wiping your face. “I talked to therapists all throughout middle and high school. None of them even understood me. As far as I know, I’m just messed up mentally.”

“(Y/N),” Will sighed. “We’re all messed up mentally. We’re doctors.” He shook his head again, reaching over to put a hand on your arm. “Look, maybe you just need to find the right person. Besides, we know more about mental health and the brain now than we did then. There may be new tactics to help you cope, even if we can’t cure it.”

You were thankful for Will, nodding at his suggestions. “Maybe,” you muttered, leaning back in your chair and rubbing your face with your hands again, then coming back to down the coffee. “Thanks.”

“Any time,” he replied, nodding. “You’re not alone, alright?”

“Thanks,” you repeated. Just then, Will’s pager rang and he had to go, but he planted a soft kiss on the top of your head as he pulled you into a gentle embrace. As quick as he was beside you, he was gone, and you sank back down to the chair, looking at your empty coffee mug with despair. Maybe you’d never get better.

— —

The past few weeks had been filled with more and more scares. There was a serial killer on the loose who was targeting cops. Your body was racked with constant anxiety every time a Stevenson was brought into the ED. The only time you weren’t was when you were assisting with a surgery, so you stayed with Dr. Rhodes most of the time to ensure you were in surgery. It was better that way for the patients and for you.

The surgery you’d just assisted in finishing was a tough one. It was a kid who had fallen on a pair of scissors the wrong way. However, Dr. Rhodes was like magic, and your own hands remained calm and steady as you fell into a zen-like trance. You weren’t thinking of anything else but the surgery at hand. The anatomy and biology of the body lying below you. It was the only time and place you’d felt at peace, despite the circumstances surrounding the incident.

As you scrubbed out, washing your hands and arms, someone came into the room. “(Y/N)…” Will’s voice rang, a hand coming to your shoulder.

“Hey,” you said softly as you turned off the water and dried your hands. “What’s up?” Your mind was still calm, but when you looked up to Will, you could tell something was off.

“Don’t freak out on me, alright?”

“Will…?” You searched his face for the answer as he squeezed your shoulders with his hands.

“Just, promise.”

“Uh… I… okay…?”

“Okay,” he said with a sigh, knowing that was good enough. “Look, Jay was brought in, but-“

“What?!” You didn’t let him finish before trying to push past him to find Jay.

Will kept you in place. “No, no, (Y/N), stop, it’s okay.”

“This is NOT okay, Will! How are you so calm?!” The bile had begun to rise in your throat as you feared the worst. Tears jumped to your eyes and you had to see him. You had to know Jay was alright, even if he wasn’t.

“Hey, hey, look at me. It’s Will. Look at me!” You looked back up to Will, his hands squeezing your shoulders again to pull you back, shaking you a little. “Look, see, I’m right here. Let me finish before you break down, at least.”

You scoffed, a small scoff to hide the soft laugh of that last remark. Although you were on the verge of an attack, that pulled you back from the edge a bit, making you shake your head. “Just tell me then!”

“Jay just had a gash on his arm from a piece of metal he ran across. He just ran into a piece of metal. His sergeant sent him, just to make sure it was good. He is not shot. He is not hurt badly. He is coherent and walking around. He needed a few stitches, but that’s all.”

You searched Will’s face for any sign of him playing down the injury, but you knew Will wouldn’t lie to you. You let out a breath, wiping your face. “No, I still have to see him though because… if I don’t, I’ll never recover from this feeling.”

“I know,” Will replied. “Come on, he’s in five. But you know if you go in there like this, you’re going to have to come clean?”

“I need to see him,” you affirmed as Will walked you downstairs to where Jay was.

When you got there, you walked in and pushed the curtain back over the door to ensure you had privacy. You nearly broke down as you saw Jay, his shirt off, a bandage on his upper arm. Whether from anxiety or relief, you had no idea. The emotions pulling you in different directions was crippling, and you just stood there, trembling as tears streaked down your cheeks.

Jay looked over you as you stood, frozen in time, hot tears racing down and dripping off your chin. He got up quickly, his soft voice finally hitting your ears. “Hey, hey, (Y/N), what’s the matter?”

As he caught you between his arms, you started to sob, nearly collapsing into his chest. “Fuck, Jay!”

Jay was surprised, but caught you with ease, holding you close to his bare chest. “What did I do this time?” He teased, trying to make you feel better.

You were barely in the mood as you took a fist to his chest, hitting him softly. “Don’t even joke, it’s not fair!”

Jay turned more serious, pulling back to look at you as you sobbed. “Hey… hey, just tell me what’s going on.” You couldn’t muster any more words, wiping your face with your hands. Jay pulled you over, sitting on the bed and pulling you to sit beside him. “(Y/N)?”

“I have… I have this… this intense fear,” you finally spoke, soft words only coming out with your breaths. “This intense… burning fear… all the time… that…” You swallowed hard, leaning into his shoulder on his uninjured arm.

“That what?” Jay prompted after a moment of silence.

“That you’re going to come in here and die!” You sobbed out, moving to cling to him again, arms around his torso. “Jay, every time a cop comes in here, I can’t take it! Anxiety and panic takes me over! I-I can’t! I love you so much, and I can’t lose you!”

“Hey, hey baby, you won’t lose me. You won’t.” Jay held you tightly against his chest once again, kissing your head. “Hey, come here, look at me.” He pulled back, letting you sit up and then gently taking your chin in his fingers. He tenderly pulled your chin up, then leaned down to meet you, planting a soft kiss to your lips. When he pulled back, he let out a breath. “Nothing will ever take me away from you… Nothing. Ever.”

With that, your emotions finally leveled out. You swallowed hard and reached up to cup his face, looking over his freckles. You smiled a little as your eyes met his. “Promise?”

“I promise,” he replied, matching your smile and leaning down to kiss you again.

[in1-nutshell]

Hello! It's me Again! Firstly, I want to say thank you so much and I really enjoy/love it!

If it's okay to request could you do another part of this request (Elita One's twin sister w/ Sg Blackarachnia)?

The reactions/interactions of other Cons, Shockwave, Lockdown, Swindle (you can change/add Wasp or other cons, if you like);

Or reactions/interactions of Autobots (team Prime)?

(Takes place after reuniting with Optimus Prime, Autobots meeting Bot and their reactions/interactions to her)

also if it's okay to make a one of them as a separate request?

(Sorry if it's too much/complicated. Also take your time and thank you so much!)

She is back!!! Our Spider is back!!

I will be posting the second part to this request later on.

Hope you enjoy!

Elita One's twin sister with SG! Blackarachnia's personality reaction to Shockwave, Lockdown, Swindle, and Wasp

SFW, Platonic, Hint of Romantic, Slight Angst, Cybertronian (techno organic) reader

TFA

As Megatron’s personal and only medic in the Decepticon army, Buddy sometimes had to travel where he went. From across the mountains to someone on the opposite end of the screen. That was how she got to know many mechs in the army.

“We are going out.”--Megatron

“We?”--Buddy

“You and I.”--Megatron

“Me? Sorry, not today My Lord. I have to work on the med bay.”--Buddy

“What needs to be done in the med bay?”--Megatron

“Not going to tell you because then you’re just going to get someone else to do it. And no one here can organize my stuff the right way. I was trying to fix Blitzwing’s servo, my tool kit was nowhere to be found. For about half an hour I was searching for it, and it was under your throne. Who puts stuff there?”—Buddy

“You have been stuck here for the last couple of cycles. I do think it is wise for you to get out and stretch your struts.”--Megatron

“You would love to see that wouldn’t you?”--Starscream

“Starscream!”--Megatron

“Wait what did he say?”--Buddy

“Nothing! We are going!”--Megatron

Megatron grabbing Buddy’s servo and leaving without a word.

When Buddy met Shockwave, it was through the main screen in the Decepticon HQ on Earth.

Shockwave had all her information from her Academy records. To say he was skeptical of Buddy’s position on the team was an understatement.

It wouldn’t be the first time the Decepticons would have a former Autobot change sides. No doubt Buddy would be the last one to do so either.

In this case, however, it nearly seemed too good to be true.

Shockwave going through going through Buddy’s file before the video meeting.

“Let’s see here… death certificates with no body found… former student at the Autobot Academy…several medical certifications, impressive… Special powers? Strange... Excellent marksmanship… Former protégé of some field tech, boring… Most likely to follow the Prime status? Unexpected but nothing more…what… had connections with Ultra Magnus?!”--Shockwave

It truly seemed too good to be true, but he kept quiet about his skepticism to himself. His first step was to get close to Buddy and try and get some information on them. Maybe find out if she is a mole or any potential blackmail material.

Shockwave was expecting someone sketchy trying to fill in the stereotypical Decepticon role or an Autobot with a poor, and or, offensive Con skit memorized.

Not someone who had their own unique style that would be associated with Decepticonism and who deeply cared for their comrades.

“Shockwave.”--Megatron

“Lord Megatron.”--Shockwave

“This is our newest chief medical officer on Earth, Buddy.”--Megatron

“Hello Shockwave, it is a pleasure to meet you.”--Buddy

“Erm—thank you Buddy, is it? Such a peculiar name.”--Shockwave

“Yes, it isn’t a common name or one that sparks any fear into the sparks of the enemy but, that is who I am. How has your day been?”--Buddy

“My what?”--Shockwave

“Oh, sorry was that not an appropriate question to ask?”--Buddy

“I—it has been a good day as of now.”--Shockwave

“That’s good to hear. We can’t have one of the Decepticon’s top spy’s in a rough shape can we?”--Buddy

“Top spy?”--Shockwave

“Yes! I have read a little bit about your work through the reports.”--Buddy

“You’ve read my reports?”--Shockwave

“You’ve read some of the reports?”--Megatron

“Of course! They are interesting to read. And it also doesn’t help when you leave some of the data pads out in the open My Lord. Especially around my work area.”--Buddy

“Don’t you have to go and reorganize the medbay’s newest supplies?”--Megatron

“Oh yes! Good-bye Shockwave! I do hope to get to know you better and that your work is truly—”--Buddy

“Buddy.”--Megatron

“All right, all right I’m going. Bye!”--Buddy

Buddy walks out of the room.

“… She seems like a nice addition to the medical wing.”--Shockwave

“Yes…”--Megatron

“… I am not looking for a relationship now, My Megatron. Anyways Buddy is not my type.”--Shockwave

“…”--Megatron

Shockwave was left a bit confused after that interaction with Buddy. It only got worse once Buddy had willing gone to the screen to contact him.

“Hello Shockwave!”--Buddy

“Hello Buddy. Has something happened? This call was unscheduled.”--Shockwave

“I know but I wanted to talk to you.”--Buddy

“About what pray tell?”--Shockwave

“Anything.”--Buddy

“I’m not sure I am following…”--Shockwave

“Last call you seemed… well you seemed a little bit lonely. It cannot be easy keeping up the façade of being Longarm Prime all day, especially in front of the council, Ultra Magnus, and the entire Elite Guard.”--Buddy

“…It is not. But there are certain bots here that are a bit dimmer than the average bot. It makes things easier. One of the Prime’s has the IQ of a bag of rusty bolts.”--Shockwave

“Is that so? Ouch! Do tell more.”--Buddy

“I believe one of the Autobots are on to me.”--Shockwave

“Are you sure? Do you need back up or something?”—Buddy

“No, not at the moment.”--Shockwave

“Good, you can never be too safe.”--Buddy

“Yes…”--Shockwave

Shockwave was in denial of the friendship that was forming through those calls. He didn’t need friends talking to his audial all day long!

It’s not like he looked forward to having those talks with Buddy.

Nope.

Absolutely not.

It’s not like the two of them have swapped personal com lines to further talk about personal things and away from the prying optics of other Cons that entered the room.

It isn’t until one late night he realizes how deep he is in.

Longarm listening to yet another boring presentation with the other Primes, trying not to stab Sentinel’s big chin with a pen. His mind slowly wondering what Buddy is going to talk about this time when he tells them about Sentinel’s big chin.

He freezes.

Oh.

Oh no…

He has a friend.

He has a good friend now.

How does one keep a good friendship like this from falling into pieces in the face of a war?!

A little while later Shockwave starts searching up ‘Ways to keep good friend’ on Bing.

Blurr opening the door, giving Shockwave just enough time to go back into Longarm form.

“I know there is a spy here Longarm! I can feel it—what are you looking up?”--Blurr

“Umm… engex bottles.”--Longarm

“…”--Blurr

“…”—Longarm

“Oh really! What years are you looking at? I personally think—”—Blurr

Longarm/Shockwave sagging in a bit of relief from the scare.

Swindle and Lockdown met Buddy at a weapons meet.

Megatron had invited Buddy to meet his arms dealer and favorite mercenary, Swindle and Lockdown. Buddy didn’t get much information on the two, being that they were on the borderline sections of potentially ‘sell outs.’

“Lord Megatron, is there any more things I need to know about these two mechs?”--Buddy

“Lockdown will not speak out of line. He is more interested in getting the latest gadgets for his collections.”--Megatron

“Mod collector, got it. And this ‘Swindle’?”--Buddy

“Any price he tries to get you to buy is a terrible one. Leave the bargaining to me.”--Megatron

“And when you mean bargaining, you mean peacefully or using intimidation?”--Buddy

“Yes.”--Megatron

“You are impossible sometimes.”--Buddy

“Only for you.”--Megatron

“What?”--Buddy

“Here’s our stop.”--Megatron

Swindle had been told beforehand that Megatron was bringing someone else to meet him. The new medical chief, from what he understood.

He thought about displaying a couple more weapons for this new Con, maybe get them to buy something.

Swindle placing a big cannon on the table.

“That’s a bad idea Swindle.”--Lockdown

“Oh hush! You don’t know what he is like.”--Swindle

“First, she. Second, I did my homework.”--Lockdown

“But they could have a fascination in cannons once they see this beauty.”—Swindle

“Like I said, I did my homework. I heard around that the medic isn’t too found in weapons.”--Lockdown

“If that is true, then why would she even want to go to a weapons meet with Megatron?”--Swindle

“I don’t know—Speaking of which, look who’s here.”--Lockdown

Megatron landing on top of the platform with huge mechanical spider coming off of his back as they both transformed.

“I thought you said Earth spiders didn’t get that big!”--Swindle

“That’s the chief medical officer, numb nuts.”--Lockdown

The two Cons were not expecting Buddy.

Well, more Swindle, after all, Lockdown did do his homework.

Lockdown kept to himself while politely introducing himself to Buddy. She politely responded back with a small smile.

Swindle kept on showing the weapons to Megatron as the other two made small talk about modifications.

“Hey Buddy!”--Swindle

Lockdown mouthing ‘no’.

Megatron wondering what this was about.

Swindle wrapping an arm around Buddy.

Megatron’s optics are staring at it like it did a capital offense.

“What do you think of these bad boys? I’m sure that there is something here that has caught your attention.”--Swindle

“Oh? Sorry I’m just here to visit, I’m not interested in buying.”--Buddy

“Oh please, I’m sure we can work something out. You’re the new chief medical officer, right? How about I show you some of the tools I—”--Swindle

Lockdown coughing.

“Lockdown and I got at another exchange. Top notch and… and…”--Swindle

“Umm, Swindle are you feeling, okay? You’re looking a little bit queasy?”--Buddy

Swindle just now noticing the Death Glare Megatron was giving him, specifically at the arm still wrapped around Buddy’s frame.

Swindle quickly dropping it.

“How about this, Buddy. I give you these tools, for… free. For free, and you tell everyone at the base about the great deals you got here!”--Swindle

“I mean, I could—”--Buddy

“That’s wonderful! Here they are and here are the weapons you purchased Megatron!”—Swindle

Megatron still glaring but nodding.

“Oh! Okay, Bye Swindle and thank you for the tools. I’ll be sure to tell everyone back on base.”--Buddy

“Anytime Buddy!”--Swindle

“Good-bye Lockdown. I hope you have a good time finding those new mods!”--Buddy

“Much obliged Buddy, bye.”--Lockdown

Megatron and Buddy transforming, Buddy getting on Megatron’s back as he zooms out of there.

“… Did you soil yourself?”--Lockdown

“N-no!”--Swindle

Swindle brushed him aside and continued organizing his stuff in his chassis.

Lockdown just wondered if one day he might see Buddy again. It was nice to have someone else besides Swindle to talk to sometimes.

Buddy met Wasp under less pleasurable circumstances.

Buddy had been taking a break from the stuffy base one night and decided to take a walk on one of the islands nearby.

They had been walking around the area when they heard noises.

Like rapid little pede steps.

It couldn’t have been the Dinobots. Their steps were a kin to a mini earthquake.

It was someone else.

Quickly, she webbed herself to a nearby tree and watched.

A small green mech appeared from the brush.

He looked scared.

But what could have scared him?

Sure, Grimlock and the others were a bit much but if they were after the mech then Buddy would have heard them.

No, someone or something else was after the small guy.

“Wasp!”--Optimus

Buddy freezing.

“Wasp, I know you’re out there! Come out with your servos up!”--Sentinel

Wasp making more whinnying noises.

Buddy quickly snapped out of it and webs him up into the tree with her.

“Ah--”--Wasp

“Shh! Don’t scream, I’m here to help. But I can’t help you if you continue to scream, okay?”--Buddy

Wasp nodding slowly.

It was Optimus and Sentinel.

As much as Buddy wanted to know what was going on with both parties, her attention was on the shaky mech that looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

Wasp didn’t know what to think at that moment, but right now this bot was helping him get away from the Elite Guard so he decided to play along.

The Autobots suddenly came out of the brush.

Buddy and Wasp froze seeing them from their hiding place.

Wasp was already looking for a way out when he saw his savior start to shake.

At first, he thought it was out of anger and that they were going to pull out their weapon and start shooting up the place.

Until he saw her optics.

Big, wide, shaky, filled to the brim with fear.

He had seen those optics before. Those were his optics sometimes.

What had those Autobots had done to this Con to get a reaction like this?

Buddy thought that she had finally come to terms with everything that had happened, especially when Optimus showed up.

Seeing Sentinel there sent another wave of flashbacks her way. It was too much; it was too much. She knew that she should have been listening in on the conversation, it could drop some important information for the team.

But the flashes of Elita’s smile, Sentinel’s antics, and Optimus’s laughter filled her senses like no tomorrow.

Buddy was in such a shaky state she didn’t know it until the little green mech held her servo gently. Like one would do to their kid if something was scaring them.

He was trying to calm her down.

She slowly stopped the shaking as the Autobot’s left the area. After a bit more of waiting, the two climbed down the tree.

“Thank you. I’m sorry you had to see that. I was the one trying to help you and you ended up helping me.”--Buddy

“Wasp is glad you okay. Nice lady bot scaring Wasp a bit.”--Wasp

“Again, sorry about that… Wasp? Is that your name?”--Buddy

“Yes. This is Wasp.”--Wasp

“Well, I’m Buddy. You have some scratches on you. I have a med kit with me, I can fix those up right now if you want.”--Buddy

Wasp looking at Buddy hesitantly before nodding.

Buddy getting to work.

“You are doing such a good job at staying still Wasp. Most of my patients like to move a lot. You’re doing so much better than they are right now.”--Buddy

“Wasp doing good job?”--Wasp

“Yes, yes you are Wasp.”--Buddy

“Buddy bot too nice to Wasp.”--Wasp

“No one can be too nice Wasp. It’s just that sometimes… sometimes empathy can get lost in wars like this.”--Buddy

“Wasp don’t like Autobots.”--Wasp

“I feel you Wasp…”--Buddy

“…Autobots hurt Buddy bot? Hurt Buddy bot bad?”--Wasp

“…Yeah, you could say that…”--Buddy

“…Autobots hurt Wasp too.”--Wasp

“I’m sorry to hear that Wasp…”--Buddy

“Wasp sorry for Buddy bot…”--Wasp

“Welp, I finished fixing those scratches and dents.”--Buddy

“Thank you!”--Wasp

“…Would you like to come with me to the Decepticons? That way you’d be safe from the Autobots.”--Buddy

Wasp pausing not sure what to answer.

“Listen, you don’t have to answer that right away. That’d be selfish of me to expect that from you right now. This is my private channel, if you need me, just call me.”--Buddy

Wasp in amazement simply nodding.

“You take care okay, Wasp.”--Buddy

“Bye Buddy bot!”--Wasp

[witchygagirlwrites]

Until You-Part 2

Connor Rhodes x Reader x Will Halstead/Rhodestead x Reader

You're settled into intelligence. Both Connor and Will have made it clear they have feelings towards you but you refuse to let them not acknowledge their feelings for each other.

You groaned when you woke up yet again to the sound of the radiator squealing like a giant rat that a cat had gotten ahold of. The perks of living in an older building. You’d been looking for another place but so far nothing had come available in your price range close enough to the twenty first that you wouldn’t be forced to get up long before dawn to not be stuck in traffic at roll call.

You rolled over to look at the time on the alarm clock and it wasn’t but half an hour before it would go off anyways so you may as well go ahead and call it. You threw your blankets off your legs and sat up. At least you would have time to grab coffee before you went in?

You walked into the twenty first and smiled at Trudy as you held out the coffee you’d grabbed her “Sarge” she offered you a smile “Well if it isn’t my favorite” you grinned “I love rubbing that in to all of them” 

“How are they treating you upstairs?” she asked and you shrugged “Decent. Voight’s a hard ass but I already knew that and I have to say he backs us pretty well. Beyond that I work well enough with Jay and the rest of the team” she nodded “Jay give you issues just threaten him with Fireball, if Kevin does he’s sweet on that new nurse from Scotland that just started at Med. She doesn’t put up with it either” you laughed “Thanks for the tip” then headed for the stairs.

You stopped at the palm scanner and laid your hand down. When it buzzed you opened the gate and headed up. When you got to the top of the stairs Jay cut his eyes up from the paperwork he was currently going over “Oh look who decided to join us today” “I’m not even late asshole” you replied and he grinned “I know, just seeing what you’d say”

You shook your head and put your stuff down at your desk “How did you get Mouse and Fireball?” he smirked “Do you really wanna know?” and you shook your head “Nope. Not at all” and he cracked up laughing. Kim shook her head “I see you two are falling into a routine” Jay nodded “She’s a pain in the ass but she’s a decent cop. Plus my brother has a thing for her too” 

“On top of Rhodes?” you asked and he grinned “Yeah” Adam leaned up from his desk “Woah, Jay. Your brother is bi too?” Jay wiggled his eyebrows at Adam “Why? Sad you missed out on a Halstead Ruzek?” you laughed when Adam’s cheeks turned red and Kim kissed his temple “It’s ok baby, you got me”

“That’s enough of that” Al’s voice carried weight even if it wasn’t loud when he came out of the break room and all of you snapped to attention like kids having gotten caught goofing off on your chores by your dad. “Yes sir” you replied and he smirked “Easy on the sir kid” 

You walked over to your desk and cut your eyes at Jay who grinned “Want to go with me to talk to a couple C.I.’s for Voight?” you nodded “Yes please”

________________________

You grabbed your jacket and followed Jay down the back stairs. Mouse wasn’t at his desk in the bullpen which meant he was in the tech room. Jay had broken his radio a few days before on a takedown when he’d used it to clip some guy in the back of the head as a last resort. The look on Mouse’s face was nothing short of hilarious when he’d been tasked with fixing it and why had had to fix it.

“When is your exam scheduled?” Jay asked as the two of you made it to the bottom of the stair that led down into the bottom floor. “Two weeks” you replied with a smile. He nodded “When you pass Will and Connor need to take you to dinner” you rolled your eyes “Lay off Jay. Just because you three are happy doesn’t mean anything” 

He shrugged “I’m just saying, don’t talk to Fireball anytime soon then because she’s been saying the same thing” you shook your head as you two walked through rollup towards the breakroom “Gerwitz please get your guy!” you called out and Mouse’s head popped around the corner “Jay, what the hell did you do to Firecracker?” “Teasing me about Connor and Will” you replied and Mouse grinned “Oh yeah, they’re both into you and each other”

You waved a hand “Seriously!?! You too?” he shrugged “Well um did you think that us of all people wouldn’t clock something like that?” you shook your head “Give him his damn radio, kiss him goodbye. We gotta go” Mouse laughed and passed Jay his radio then pressed a kiss to his lips “Be careful. I love you” 

Jay smiled “I love you too. Are you taking lunch to Med or am I?” Mouse cut his eyes at you before telling Jay “Unless you get busy you can” and Jay grinned “Ok babe” and the two of you headed out while you heard Mouse laughing behind you. 

“Are you three really trying to set me, Will and Connor up?” you asked and Jay shrugged “Maybe we’re tired of being the only trio? Makes double dates really weird when it’s three against two on bowling”

You stood next to Jay as he talked to the C.I. who kept eyeing you so you raised an eyebrow “Do we have issue?” he shook his head “Weren’t you a beat cop?” you nodded “Lindsay left I got pulled up” he nodded “You’re Firecracker. You pulled my niece out of a bad spot. She was in a bad relationship” 

You stared at him for a moment then it clicked “You’re Veronica’s uncle?” he nodded “She got out of Chicago and away from the bum because of you. You saved her life” a smile slipped onto your face “That’s really good to hear” he held his hand out and you shook it “Thank you” “Of course. Just doing my job” he shook his head “She told me you went into your savings to help her. That’s not just doing your job ma’am”

____________________

When you got back to Jay’s truck he bumped your shoulder and you cut your eyes at him “Yes?” he grinned “You’re good police Firecracker. I’m glad you’re my partner” you grabbed over your heart playfully “A genuine compliment! Fireball and Mouse must have made you very happy last night for you to be in this good of a mood” he rolled his eyes “See? Now I’m trying to be sweet and you got to go and ruin it! Just for that we’re going to Med so my brother and Connor can drool over you!”

“Don’t you dare Halstead! It’s only eleven forty five!” you argued and he nodded “After we pick up Fireball lunch and get there it’ll be twelve, unless you want me to not make sure my beautiful hard working girlfriend eats something decent?” you glared at him “That’s just mean using her against me” he shrugged “If it works, it works”

_____________________

You begrudgingly follow Jay into Med. He stopped at the front desk and Maggie smiled “Hey Jay. She’s in the doctor’s lounge with Connor”  Jay cut his eyes back at you before saying “Thanks Mags” 

He bumped your shoulder “Come on” you glared at him as he led the way to the doctor’s lounge. He opened the door then held it for you. Fireball was sitting at the table, across from Connor. They had an ipad between them looking at something on it. 

She cut her eyes up then did a double take when she realized Jay was in the room “Hey love” she greeted and was on her feet to meet him halfway. He grinned and pulled her into a kiss “Hey princess. How’s your day going?” 

You walked away to give them privacy and Connor tilted his head to the table so you walked over “How’s it going Rhodes?” he nodded to the ipad “Since my partner in crime has abandoned me for one of her fellas, do you want to look at this listing with me?” “Listing?” you asked as you sat down next to him. He nodded “I need a new place so I’m looking at condos” you shrugged “Sure” he moved his chair closer and slid the ipad between you. Could you drool over a place to live? If it was possible you would have drooled. It had a freaking fireplace for christ’s sake, a nice kitchen, huge bathroom and the master bedroom was damn near the size of your current place. 

“So you’re like rich rich” you laughed and he cut his eyes at you “It’s not that bad is it?” you waved a hand “You’re one person! That shower would easily fit three and that’s with extracurricular activities” he raised an eyebrow “Firecracker are you thinking about me in the shower now?” you rolled your eyes “You wish. Point is, the place is gorgeous Con but I mean it’s freaking big too” he shrugged “I’d have extra room at least” you nodded “What’s wrong with your current place?” he shrugged “I’m selling it. I lived there with my ex” “Yikes, ignore what I said this place is amazing. Jump on it” he laughed “Well I’ll call you when I get the keys and you can see it in person” you cut your eyes at him and grinned “Only if you light up that fireplace” “Sounds like a plan”

You heard laughter and looked back to see Fireball smacking Jay’s chest “Ignore him! We’ve been trying to teach him better for years but it hasn’t stuck!” she shook her head but Jay just winked at her and you could practically see her melt. 

The door opened and Will walked in. He looked from Jay to Fireball then to you. “Hey?” Jay grinned “William! I’m gonna go make sure my girl eats. Firecracker has like another fifteen minutes why don’t you see what her and Rhodes are doing?” you shot Jay a glare as he slung his arm around fireball and the two disappeared out the door.

_________________________

Will walked over, pulling a chair up to your other side, effectively sandwiching you between him and Connor. “What are you two doing?” “Looking for a new place” Connor answered over your head and Will eyed the tablet “Isn’t that a little extravagant, even for you?” “Firecracker liked it” Connor replied and you felt your face warm “Am I needed here or can you two argue without me?”

Will’s hand touched your back “Sorry, he just likes to throw his money around” Connor leaned over “Translation is that Will Halstead is the only person on earth to get pissed that I paid for him a new transmission” “I told you I had it” Will argued and Connor shrugged “Told you I don’t care” 

You looked from one to the other “Are you two using me to flirt with each other?” and they looked at each other then shook their heads “No” you laughed “Holy shit are you oblivious”  you cut your eyes at Connor “You have been flirting with him since you got here” then looked at Will “And Fireball and Jay both swear you say you hate him to hide the fact that you have a thing for him”

Both men started stumbling over their words so you stood up, shaking your heads “Tell ya what? You are both fucking gorgeous and doctors to boot? But I’m not gonna be a filter for your flirting. Figure out whatever this is” you waved a hand between them. “Then call me” then turned and walked out. 

______________________

When you walked out you nearly knocked into the new nurse. “Woah there luv. Are you ok?” she asked, her accent making you smile despite your mood. “Yeah, I’m good” she eyed you “You’re the new member of Kev’s team aren’t ya?” you nodded and held your hand out. You told her your name then added “Everyone calls me Firecracker” she grinned “You can call me Fee. Nice to meet ya” 

______________________

You had every intention to wait at Jay’s truck but him and Fireball were on a bench just outside the door and her eyes widened  when she saw you “Oh shit, I know that look” Jay cut his eyes at her “What look?” she kept your eyes “You told them to figure out their shit didn’t you?” 

You nodded “I could like them both, I really could but not until they figure out their crap. I’m a lot of things but not a damn filter” she laughed “Good for you” then looked back at Jay “Give me a kiss and get your ass back to work so I can too” 

Jay pressed a quick kiss to her lips “I love you” she smiled “I love you too. Be careful” then looked at you “Both of you” before heading back inside.

He looked back at you and grimaced “Mad at me?” you shook your head “No, let’s get back to work”

@desimarie12 @bonnyclydecat

[bomberqueen17]

how it's going

yah well so. my winter of not being at the farm and instead having medical appointments is going about how you'd think, which is to say that i've run out of steam on making the medical appointments but do still have several to take care of.

i did manage to get my primary care physician to accept that i had an ADHD diagnosis (which last year she refused to help me get, but now that i have it, she's like ok cool great here's a referral for therapy). She's now prescribed me meds, and since I already tried the three major stimulant meds plus had prior (bad) experience with the one antidepressant they use, she prescribed me some weird anti-narcolepsy med that sometimes gets used. and i was supposed to start that two days ago but rite aid is still trying to get insurance approval. take a wild guess what kind of insurance i have!!

yeah united health isn't going to approve that one. so my avenues here might already be closed. but at least someone tried?

I have done a bit of sewing and a bit of exercise biking and a lot of snow shoveling (what a year). I got a mammogram and they called me right away and were like omg you gotta come back there was something weird there, and so i went back and they were like omg we gotta squash you SO flat to look at this, and i was like ow ow ow okay okay uncle and they were like yah we gotta ultrasound you this isn't good and i was like. if they have to cut my boobs off can i get robot ones???? (insert every emoji here in succession, the nine or whatever stages of grief is not enough to cover this)

and the ultrasound tech was like SO nice? and so gentle? and by then i'd been lotionless so long (you can't have lotion on your boobs before a mammogram! my dudes it is january i am a crocodile) that the water-based gel kind of stung? but it was okay and she made me wait and went and looked at the results with a doctor and came and took me aside and was like "Great news! It's nothing" and sent me home. which was like. so many ups and downs! what a wild ride! love this ending for me, this is actually the best possible ending ever.

Spent the entire next day in a vet waiting room because Chita had been peeing all over the basement. Verdict: not a UTI. But, she's got to start special kidney food. Have now spent an entire week trying to get the vet to give us the prescription we need in order to buy the stuff, somehow can't get this done, really don't know what the hell is happening.

So anyway now we just have puppy pads down in various corners of the basement, because Chita has Opinions about litterboxes that cannot be solved by simply having an array (five) of immaculate (Cat Attract(TM) litter-containing) boxes, because you see, she needs to pee NEXT TO a litter box according to some strange schedule, AS WELL AS in only SOME of them, and poo in others... Well at least it's all in the basement and she has not done this in any of the rooms where we actually live. But like. Gross dude.

In June Chita will be legally old enough to vote, though cats are not eligible to register alas, so I suppose we can just let her do what she wants since she probably knows best at this point.

Otherwise the only notable thing happening is the writing, at which i am making tremendous progress, so that's good. Therapist has been attempting to get me to form priorities and make to-do lists which is hilarious and I don't know how to convey to her that I am a feral goblin and Goals are not a thing I've ever historically managed to have, and I don't think she understands about novel-writing in particular (she was like oh you're making getting published a goal! and i'm like you don't understand how this industry works, this is a self-pub at best kind of economy and i will not be making money from this). But I am trying very hard to get a draft of this done as soon as I possibly can because I simply won't have time over the spring/summer/fall season, but I *might* have time to edit.

I've got eight chapters in the beta doc by now and having people read it and leave comments is absolutely working to keep me focused on it. <3 I can't convey enough how much that means. It is incredibly helpful. I never did make a discord or any way to discuss that so it's all gotta be in the comments but that is working for me for now. I have most of the plot hammered out and just have to like. Glue it together. So we shall see.

Except I keep letting myself get distracted doing backstory stuff so yesterday I wrote 2,999 words of literally just porn that is not in any way going to go into this novel, and i felt kind of bad about that but then I also wrote 3,914 words of action plot and cyborg dolphins (and mostly it is a guy passed over for a promotion trying to work around the incompetent they made into his manager, so like, relatable content but also with dolphins who can talk, so like, what's not to love) so I felt less bad about that.

I will include a snippet because I can.

A moment later, Mahina’s synthetic voice said “We did not find your convoy but other pod says ships that way.”  Tom nodded. “Yeah, I thought it might be too far,” he said.  “You know our range?” Mahina asked. Her vocabulary was very practical, but then, this was a major shipping lane. From the slightly greater height of the launch, he could see her better; she was large, an older female. The augmented dolphins lived longer, but she wouldn’t be old enough to remember before the treaties, he thought.  “I think so,” Tom said. “Mahina not so good at human number reckoning,” she said. “But if Ted know a pod’s range Mahina no need to try.” “Ted?” Tom said, startled into a laugh. “Is human name,” Mahina said. “It is,” Tom agreed. “Yes, I can be Ted.” “Ted,” Mahina said, with a decided affirmative whistle. The only way to add words to the brainwave-readers was for a fairly skilled human technician to do so, and one of them must at some point have been named Ted.

[upinthecloudss]

mcl characters and uni courses or careers that i think they fit in

finals are kicking my ass sorry about dissapearing yall,,, but since i've spent sm time in campus these past few weeks this seemed fitting

i'll be back by the end of january, if i survive exams xx

kentin: vet studies or physiotherapy (iwaizumi hajime, 27)

nathaniel: i'm between med school at the beggining of the game but also a double degree in criminology and psychology for his detective-novella-loving side

castiel: starts off in some kind of sound engineering course but wouldn't mind music theory or smth along those lines (he'd eventually drop out to create a band anyway)

armin: game tech design, cs, some kind of cs engineering idk i'm not into techy stuff (sorry ;;) maybe cybersecurity stuff

alexy: he enjoys music and fashion but i see him going into a career in psychology or maybe even as a social worker working on cases of children and adoption

lysander: lowkey ornithology LMAO all jokes,,, he's the type to go into latin studies with ancient history and a sprinkle of literature studies all together and then become an author in the future (maybe acts as a ghost writer for castiel and other groups as a side thing)

kim: is it insane to say some masters in primary education or pedagogy?? i feel that she kinda becomes more serious about studies by the end of the game and she realises that all she needed was a better school system to believe in her

in anyway she opens up a gym and creates a special area all for classes with children where they can 'blow off steam'

violette: gets a full ride scholarship to many distinguished fine arts courses but it ends up being her making her teachers realise that they are learning more from her than anything else - also opens up a 'common space' for artists of all ages and backgrounds to have access to all sorts of art materials as a non profit project but makes a living out of commissions, expo's and teaching at her local community college

iris: i see her going into the tourism sector?? like - gets a quick professional formative course in hospitality, tourism and administration and leaves as soon as she can to travel around the world and adopt the odd job wherever she lands, she was never good at studies but she's known for being a very trustworthy tourist guide and vacation planner because she knows so damn much about all the places that she's worked in

melody: something in biological sciences is what i envision (idc if she works with zaidi in UL this game is MY CANON now)

priya: no doubt law studies she was made for it

peggy: again, obvious choice. journalism and something in social media maybe

rosa: helps out leigh with his shop for a short while but opens up her own fashion store and works as a fashion consultant for various clients

li: something business-econ related, idk

charlotte: also a business girlie but maybe with some studies in finance

amber: modelling gigs, slight nepotism because of her mother's influence

[utilitycaster]

I’ve been seeing some stuff that Predathos isn’t why Molaesmyr was corrupted, it was Ludinus messing with the natural energy and Aeor tech which caused the corruption. I’ve been looking through the wiki but it’s not that detailed, but did Matt say that it was Ludinus messing with stuff and not that Predathos is a corrupting influence? (I’ll go listen to prev eps but not sure where I should start from. )

So if I recall the episodes that covered this were 3x55-3x58 (ie, when Team Wildemount were in Molaesmyr) and then you can kind of put the story together from Barthie and Rashinna's retellings and some of the things Ludinus himself had said from the 80s and 90s of C3. To sum things up:

In 585 PD Ludinus tapped into some source of power within Molaesmyr in order to contact Predathos during the apogee solstice. This is unambiguously the case. This may have been a natural source or may have been a fragment of Aeor. Regardless, in doing so he unleashed a dangerous poisonous magic within Molaesmyr, killing countless people and leaving the rest without a home. It is similarly unknown whether or not this result was simply the result of Ludinus drawing on the power source excessively such that it triggered it in some way, or Predathos's influence, or some combination of the two.

I can't speak to everyone but my personal feelings about Predathos as a threat aren't "this is a corrupting influence" (though the dampening healing magic and stealing it for itself isn't like, great). My thoughts re Molaesmyr are:

If your argument is that Aeor was a senseless loss of life and the gods should die, and you don't think that Molaesmyr was a senseless loss of life and Ludinus Da'leth should die, what exactly makes the former more heinous than the latter? Answer at length, because right now I think anyone who cries over Aeor and not Molaesmyr is either particularly unintelligent or particularly hypocritical.

I think Predathos will probably not specifically target mortals. That does not mean its unleashing to go after the gods would not necessarily result in mass death. The fact that it can't see people means it has no care for people in the way. (it also does seem to be completely able, at least in its prior form, to specifically attack individuals attacking it or drain their healing, so, you know, I think it can certainly SENSE mortals in some capacity). Like, does it matter if you die of being consumed out of malice vs. consumed out of hunger vs. standing too close to a source of deadly high radiation vs. standing too close to a source of "your meds suddenly stop working" vs. getting stepped on by something too vast to see you? you're still dead in every scenario.

To the previous point, if someone says "hmmm, I just don't know what this thing can do and but I do know that this entity's followers have pretty much all been violent imperialists and that communing with it caused mass death and unending environmental destruction" and presses a button, are they not responsible for that action"?

[real-raincode-takes]

jobs I think the cast would have if they weren’t detectives:

-yuma: author. he has some gripping monologues, and detective novels are one of his likes. with how prone to trouble he is, he’d have a lot of good situations to draw from to write stuff

-shinigami: housewife. but she’d sell illegally harvested corpses to med students on the side to make $$$

-yakou: he’d probably stay at the bar but that’s lame. maybe like a firefighter cause he loves helping people and he’d think it would help him win ladies (it does)

-fubuki: adventurer!!!!!! she was also so good as a waitress. she would love the rainforest café or some sort of themed restaurant

-halara: a vet. I think they could tolerate injured animals because they wanna help them. and that pays good enough for their tastes

-desuhiko: business major who becomes a salaryman. still plays music on the side, but it’s been hard to get gigs since the allegations….

-vivia: barista. librarian. something low effort. does in fact regularly fight in underground rings and one of his coworkers sees him but no one else believes them

-aphex: 🏀🏀🏀🏀

-zilch (real): some sort of wildlife preserve or zoo thing

-zilch (fake): CEO of animal testing and cruelty

-pucci: unemployed. she gets into discourse on tumblr and TikTok all day and lives like Portland polycule. okay fine she’d be a classical musician

-melami: model! I could see her posing for a tanning mag or some harajuku stuff

-zange: retired, part time grocery store clerk who always regales you with excessively long stories and complains about the high tech self checkout

.

[trollprincess]

Well, let myself sit on the new episode of “The Pitt” for a bit.

Aaaaaand there’s Noah Wyle’s Emmy clip. I sobbed like a baby at the end. That beautiful bearded man, how DARE he make me cry.

You know, I haven’t believed David is the shooter since we got word there was an active shooter at PittFest, and honestly I still don’t believe it. It just … doesn’t feel right. I bet any amount of money he’ll be like, “I just went to cool off at a coffee shop down the street, that’s all.” And then it’ll turn out to be someone else. My money is on the guy who punched Dana, but we’ll see.

I’m sure one of these med students is destined to wash out, and I kind of hope it’s Santos. It cannot be Mel because if we lose Mel I lose a character who’s basically me with less swearing and I don’t want her to go, and Javadi deserves to show her mom and everyone else how awesome she can be, and I have a soft spot for Whitaker even though he’s spent the entire first day having one fuck-up after another. But Santos is being a little too pushy about doing stuff for my liking. It reads like someone who’s going to do something a lot worse than mistakenly screw in an IO.

I hope Collins comes back soon enough. I feel like Robby needs her back ASAP, if only for emotional support.

As far as I can tell, those traumatic exit wounds look accurate for something like an AR — although to be fair I’m not a doctor or a crime scene tech, so I can only go off the photos and X-rays I’ve seen — but as graphic as they are in the show, I’m glad. I hope more people get to see what those sort of weapons do to people.

When Grayson went unconscious, I got SO nervous. He’s so kind and helpful. I want him to die happy and old at a really bitchin’ concert.

I know Langdon is being really helpful and doing what he can to save lives in a really impossible situation. But sweet Jesus, is this whole thing with the stolen benzos only going to be worse with showing BACK up despite being sent home for it.

Just as an aside from the personal ER stuff, eighty-five patients and only five dead in peds is pretty impressive in terms of keeping people alive after a mass shooting. Of course, we don’t know how many died at the scene yet, but still.

I hope McKay doesn’t get in too much trouble for destroying her ankle bracelet, because she’s got plenty of good reason to.

Ugh, more episodes. NOW.

[professorwerewolfmcwerewolf]

Okay, I have an idea. Gotta admit, first, I haven't watched most of Chicago PD (or Med but that's not relevant here. I've seen all of Fire). I was already in love with the Halsteads and now I've fallen in love with Mouse as a character. I also fully blame @kitweewoos and @gregorygerwitz for that. And I'm not sure if y'all's hc of Mouse's parents being rich and having disowned him is just a hc or somewhat implied in canon, but it's fully canon in my brain.

Alright. My idea. When Mouse starts to get restless being part of the unit, his initial thought is still reenlisting because that's familiar. And Voight tightening the fucking leash just totally reconfirms the need to get out. But then for some reason or another. (maybe Moustead happens and he can't bring himself to leave Jay even if he has to leave the unit. Maybe he gets to talking to Severide or Hermann or any of our 51 firefighters at Molly's.)

He starts looking into the CFD. He would still need his record cleared. But even if Platt had had hesitation, uh clearing his record so he can join the fire academy? *(calls Mouch)* Babe, I got you a veteran to join the cfd! He already comes with a nickname!

And so Mouse signs up for the next like available opening in the academy. And with a sus amount of luck *(side eyes Sargeant Platt)*, his number's called the same year. He's hopeful. The lack of gunfire is a relief as much as a bummer, but it's not a deterrent. And he isn't 100% sure how he'll do if he gets too close to explosion or gets a serious injury, but he'd have that same uncertainty overseas, just extra likely. And, of course, Jay is thrilled. Voight isn't, but he also isn't acting as much like a toddler because he has to respect the CFD. But Jay's thrilled that Mouse isn't trying to put himself through That™️ again. He feels guilty for a bit when he thinks maybe Mouse dropped the reenlisting idea just to placate him, but Mouse tells him it was just his first idea.

So Mouse goes through the fire academy, fucking excels. The soldier-like bits are like coming home. This he knows. This he can do. Sure, he might need to fill his free time with stuff to use his tech skills so boredom never leads him to hack the wrong shit while tipsy, but he would've done that anyway. He's not even opposed to helping out the unit, but only when they actually just can't figure it out themselves.

Fresh out of the academy, he obviously becomes a candidate at Firehouse 51. Do they need one right now? Don't care. They're getting Mouse. They need a new stray, and he needs a bigger family than just Jay and Will via Jay. Okay, I just checked the timeline, and Mouse's last CPD episode was conveniently at the same time as Jimmy Borelli's uhhh incident 🔥🫠 in October 2016. So, 51 does, in fact, need a candidate. 🫢😅

Humor in the tags. But seriously. Mouse can't decide if he absolutely hates them trying to include him in stuff (because past experiences say this is a lie and they wanna lure him into a false sense of security before being shit, despite the fact they've never individually given him bad vibes before) or desperately wants to do good to feel like he deserves them.

This part specifically applies to the Gerwitz-family-being-rich hc: It doesn't take the house long to piece together Gerwitz, and that Mouse isn't involved in his parents' lives. But you know Otis. Otis is Otis. Mouse is a candidate. So naturally, he's gonna joke about it. Mouse is fine at first, just acts like he didn't hear him or just glares or walks away, and everyone else has the decency not to laugh if it's the latter two reactions. Otis continues. Until one day, he jokingly implies nepotism. Mouse stops him in the locker room. "Listen, funny guy. I get this. The hazing is part of the job. It's fine. And you have plenty of material to work with. You wanna joke about my service, my addiction, working for the intelligence unit, my friendship with Jay? I don't care. But you make another crack about nepotism like my parents gave a single fuck about me after I wasn't their perfect little socialite? Like I wasn't fully disowned and cut off? That's a fight you won't win, Zvonecek." And his pronunciation of Otis' last name being perfect is oddly the sticking point for him. Otis is a bit butt hurt for a few days, but accepts the honesty and threat as good enough reason to back off on that topic.

[elslittlestories]

Modern AU!

Just a quick thingy I did a few weeks ago cause I wanted to draw the bad batch as if I could walk past them in the street 🤪

Rambling about it under the cut ⬇️

Crosshair. Always three steps behind so he can pretend he's not with them but if anyone tries to mess with his brothers, they won't know what's coming 🤜💢 He's a neat freak, his white shirts are always pristine ✨

Echo has prosthetic legs but doesn't alway wear them. 🦽 I gave him an audio implant in place of his neural headpiece, because why not? And he's wearing Fives' dog tags 🥺

Wrecker is your classic gym bro 💪 and rocks the pink t-shirt like no one. He tends to wear his dog tags apparent because people react differently to his scare and blind eye when he does so. He's Echo's designated driver. He knows every good spots for food take away!

Hunter is either wearing a flannel or a plain t-shirt. Nothing fancy. You rarely see him without a backpack or satchel or anything to carry around the important stuff no one else think about, like water and snacks and a med kit. He makes dad jokes. Bad ones.

Tech wears anything that fits and doesn't smell too bad. As long as it's got pockets for all his stuff: various tools and pieces for his current project, external battery, flash drives and who knows what more... He got himself some connected glasses that he's improved, so most of the time he's looking at the stuff in his goggles rather than the actual world around him.

[edendawg]

hello! I am a 23 year old self-employed, disabled, transmasc creative living in the us faced with rent and bills I can't pay due to “unemployment” and refusal of disability payments by state and federal government. i need to raise money and get a job asap because I don't have enough to pay to survive.

rest of description and health update below the cut ↓

I need to raise/ make $250 USD before the end of January, and I'm hoping at least half of that can come from donations, as with recent developments, I'm in a near complete shutdown. it's hard to do anything because my brain is making my body go into survival mode, and I'm constantly bombarded with body pain and headaches and nausea. I'm scared for my friends. family, and myself, and want to give up

I make art and write poetry full time, but marketing with no way to pay for advertising online doesn't get me very far, so please share this if you can. I have some examples of my work available and more if you shoot me a message, but my creative skills are mainly in freewritten poetry, acrylic painting, mix media collage/ collage poetry, anthro character design and artwork, graphic design/ logo work, and minimal web design (not the coding side, but like wix and such). I'm also experienced in tech writing, blog/ article writing, customer service, sales, and more.

I am offering lowered rates on all custom work for a limited time, with traditional media pay rates dropping from $70/hr to $45/hr and digital media from sliding scale $30-50/hr to a flat $25/hr. I'll run discounts on any finished pieces that spark interest. I don't have an hourly rate for poetry, I'd do something like $5/15 lines or send a document with 5 premade poems for $5

if you have any leads for remote work, or you yourself could use some load lightened that you could pay me to do, please reach out. my state's minimum wage is $15/hr, but depending on the work, I'd be hoping to work closer to $20/hr based on experience and education. I really only need to make $150 a week to survive, so a part time gig or two would help me at least afford food, bills, meds, and doctors

thank you for sharing and supporting me at this time. donation links available on request, message here or DM floraternum on discord for more information

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physical & mental health cw!!↓

as far as my health goes, I have a bug right now, my tummy is uncooperative, my head hurts all the time, my back and neck and hands hurt all the time. this on top of the aches I'm always dealing with, it's rough. and between my anxiety about the anti trans stuff going in in the us and tension and problems on this planet, the OCD, autism, ADHD, bipolar, etc are all aligning to make the most unbearable and just LOUD depression of my recent memory. brain is just a lot to deal with and I don't know how I'm supposed to support myself through much more than surviving rn.