#because ive never been wrong about anything in my entire life.
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fish-daily · 7 months ago
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happy pride month. all fish are gay
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bunnyboy-juice · 2 months ago
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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puppmeo · 4 months ago
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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handweavers · 2 months ago
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ive said this before but it's hard being an lgbt malaysian and listening to western lgbt people freak out over things that have been our reality the entire time. i've had to come to terms with the fact that i'll likely never be able to legally transition in malaysia, will never be able to change my name or gender on documents and it will probably remain illegal for me to use public bathrooms, seek medical care, exist in public, do literally anything as a trans person there for the rest of my life. i am not happy about this and i am luckier than most having the ability to medically transition in canada but i'm always hyperaware that this can be taken away from me at any moment (and is likely to in the near future with the slow death of liberalism in canada as well), that whenever i return i'm at risk of imprisonment if i'm caught by the wrong person, and i know the reality of what life is like for people back home who do not have the privileges i do. but the thing is that even in malaysia trans people use the bathroom and exist in public and have jobs and fall in love and see the doctor and it is possible to carve out a life that is not wholly built upon despair. it's really really fucking hard and scary but we do it anyway because we have to. so it's just really hard to stomach white people in like california freaking out like it's impossible to live in these circumstances or no one else could possibly understand, sorry
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erwinsvow · 6 months ago
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ive been rereading ur bitchy reader stuffs n pleek do more of the pope cameo.. HER SAYING DICK APPT WHEN RAFE COMPLAINED ABT HER HAVING POPES NUMBER MADE ME GIGGLE OUT LOUD pretty please give us more of them 🤲
i imagine her being pissed off at rafe so she keeps giving him the cold shoulder and when he asks something she’d just go “maybe i should’ve gone to heywards instead he wont treat me like this 🙄” BUT ITS SO FUNNY KNOWING SHE DOESNT LIKE POGUES !!!!
LMFAOOO THIS IS KILLING ME!! one thing about my readers, their secret pogue crush is always gonna be pope <3
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one thing you had in common with rafe—despite the glaring differences that were so hard to ignore—was that you both didn't care much for pogues.
that was putting it lightly, rafe despised them and you just didn't like them. but some were more tolerable than others—for example, the maybank boy who seemed to you the equivalent of a toddler with sticky hands versus pope heyward, who used to tutor in math. you don't know why or how they're friends, just that you like pope enough to be friendly, or rather polite, and you definitely don't like maybank enough to even think about him.
rafe didn't like any of them, and you didn't really care. you weren't in the habit of defending pogues, and certainly not when you were constantly trying to remind sarah to stay away from them, even though she never listened.
but seeing how angry rafe seemed to get at the mere mention was enough to give you some ideas. when you had jokingly—although now you remember you hadn't really ever clarified—said that you had pope's number because of dick appointments, rafe had gotten so angry it had resulted in the best sex of your life.
you were curious to know what else you could get out of it. unfortunately, your curiosity didn't last for very long. rafe pissed you off just as much as you pissed him off, and though these thoughts were often in one ear and out the other for you.
like today. you had been waiting for twenty whole minutes at the club for rafe, who had insisted he would be on time even though you knew he would probably run late since he was coming from barry's—all the way across town.
all he had to do was admit it, and you would have come later, but instead he had told you to show up at noon and that he wasn't going to be late.
normally you would show up at half past and just tell him to fuck off, but if he really was on time you would never hear the end of it. so you showed up on time and waited... and waited.
rafe finally shows up about forty minutes later, and you stare at him with your signature look—eyes rolling back, an i-told-you-so expression with arms crossed. you could make it more withering if you wanted, but right now you just wanted to hear rafe admit he was wrong.
"shut the fuck up," he says, taking a seat the table. your half drunken diet coke has left a ring of condensation, and you move the cup towards you, wondering how you'd become the kind of girl that waits forty minutes for a guy to show up.
"first of all, i didn't even say anything. second of all, you shut the fuck up. i'm the one who was forty-fucking-minutes late."
"it took longer-"
"longer than you thought? yeah, i said that. yesteday."
"well m'here now, so just order."
you huff, scanning the menu and not sure exactly what retort to use. instead you settle for shutting up entirely, not speaking to rafe the entire time. the waitress comes and goes, the food comes and goes, and you look up when rafe speaks but don't say anything back.
rafe thinks you'll give it up once lunch is over, but you grew up in a household where an hour of silent treatment is child's play. so the car ride to tannyhill, throughout the movie you put on and when you walk away to make popcorn, you haven't said a word.
while the movie credits roll, you look down at your phone, waiting for your apology and deciding when to leave if you don't get it.
"are you seriously gonna ignore me the entire day?"
you stare at rafe, not answering. this is your withering look.
"fine, princess. your choice," rafe shrugs. "finally got you to shut up for once."
you take a moment for his words to really hit you. like any other girl in the world, that comment from your boyfriend hurts a little. it even stings. you don't like the words in the air and you can even tell it left a bitter taste in rafe's mouth. he looks like he's just realizing he overstepped a little. then, for the first time since you saw rafe that day, you speak.
"you know, it's a good thing i didn't delete heyward's number from my phone. times like this i realize how handy it can be."
"what the fuck is th-"
"i mean, really, rafe. even these pogues you hate so much would treat me better than you do. i should go call him up now-"
"okay, princess i get it-"
"bet he'd probably fuck me better than-"
"okay, enough. jesus, i get it. m'sorry, okay? can you knock it off now?"
"i'm not knocking anything off. and you can go fuck yourself if you can't apologize for a little thing like being late-"
"i'm sorry, okay? now can you stop talking about pope fuckin' heyward?" you huff, finally a little pleased he apologized.
"thank you. was that so hard?"
"oh shut up-"
"you shut up. and don't be late again. or i'll show you fuckin' heyward-"
"enough!"
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wish-i-were-heather · 2 months ago
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of course trump fucking won. this entire country is fucked and always has been. i went to his instagram to see if him or harris have posted anything and im absolutely fucking disgusted. ive never seen anything more hypocritically racist, sexist, homophobic, and literally discriminating against everything besides white heteronormative christians. but unfortunately there are just as many disgusting people in the world who see themselves in him and are going to vote for him. and they did vote for him. look where that got us. and of course he won because those people voted for him, those people who want to take away human rights. why would a woman win in a country that's sexist?? why would someone of color win in a country that's racist?? and why especially would a black woman who actually cares about people win in a country full of racist, sexist assholes?? ive literally never felt more hopeless than right now. we survived the last times he was president, but his plans for this time are far worse.
if you voted for trump, you voted for a man who only cares about himself. he doesnt give two shits about anyone, republican or not. you elected a homophobe into office. oh, great, you're also homophobic? then think about this. you elected a racist into office. you elected an ableist into office. YOU ELECTED A RAPIST INTO OFFICE. if you dont see the problem with that, there is something seriously wrong with you. if you voted for trump, there is something seriously wrong with you. as a teenage girl who is going to graduate before the next election, youre giving me this absolutely disguisting horrible piece of shit that dares to call himself a human being to deal with. i am genuinly preparing myself to leave the country after i graduate. it was a joke at first, but its nowhere near funny now. if i could leave right now, at this exact moment, i would. i am actually crying right now because i know that there are other people, people who are my friends, who are far more affected by this than i am. you had your vote, and you chose use it to ruin the lives of everyone.
if you voted for trump, have fun telling your daughter, your sister, your girlfriend, your best friend, your niece, your cousin, your mother, everyone, that you voted to take away their bodily freedoms. have fun at the hospital as your ten year old daughter gives birth to her rapist's baby, potentially dying doing so, because you voted away her abortion rights. have fun receiving a text from your nephew telling you that he is hiding from an active shooter because you voted for a vice president who stands behind glass while preaching that school shootings are "a fact of life." have fun watching your best friend, who you didn't even know was transgender because no, you can't "always tell," get fired because you voted away their job security. have fun watching the world around you fall apart because you voted for a dictator, not a president.
send me more hate anon i dont give a fuck. words cannot express how upset i am right now. with everyone. if you voted for a third party or even didn't vote at all, you're just as much at fault. any vote not for harris was a vote for trump. and now trump has the votes. now trump is the president.
if you voted for trump, i would just like to say thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for ruining my life.
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howlsofbloodhounds · 3 months ago
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What's your opinion on Dadmare aus?
I don’t think much about Dadmare aus, or not very often. I don’t have anything against them and whenever I come across content i usually think it’s cute and like the post before moving on, but i don’t seek it out and hardly engage in it.
This is mostly because i haven’t found an interpretation of dadmare aus ive been able to get invested in, most interpretations ive come across just aren’t for me.
My biggest “issues” (but not really) with most interpretations is that nightmare is almost always portrayed as a perfect dad who can do no wrong, all the other sanses are infantilized to hell and back, and as @/signanothername said in their own post, none of the characters feel like their own people.
Their relationships to eachother and Nightmare all feel very one note and cut from the same mold most of the time. All the same reactions, all completely trust Nightmare and kiss the ground he walks on.
I don’t mind found family, but I don’t like it when the found family is shoved into little boxes and cannot differ from them.
Nightmare is 500+ years old, did not grow up with any significant parent figure in his life despite winging it on taking care of Dream, and spent his 6 early years of life being routinely abused by all the adults around him. And then he was horribly transformed and corrupted.
Why would he take on a parental role again when the last time he tried something like that he was also a child, he had no other choice, and everything went to shit despite it? Wouldn’t he also struggle like any actual parent would.
If he spent 500+ years isolated and only interacting with others when forced to, or needing something from them like negativity, wouldn’t that life experience translate into trying to care for this group of traumatized men.
And they are men. They aren’t boys. They’re adults. Unless they’re supposed to be actual children when they meet Nightmare, or one or all of them are age regressed, then I don’t see the point in infantilizing them or treating them as if they’re children. None of these guys are looking for a father figure.
Adults can be found family, there doesn’t need to be any dad or child or siblings boxes to me.
Especially not when Horror already has a brother, Killer’s concept of family dynamics is also very likey screwed to hell and back (just look at what he thinks about any relationship, there’s no such thing as “equals” in his eyes, killer in dadmare dynamics would probably just view it as another role and game he has to play and “dadmare” is his new Chara), Nightmare killed his mother and his currently trying to kill his brother after trapping him in stone for years.
Dust killed his brother and is constantly haunted by his hallucination, Cross destroyed his entire AU and also came from an entirely different AU with a completely different life from the others. (Alphys being his sister, for example. Horror having lobotomized his Alphys and Killer having likely killed and tortured his many times and Dust having murdered his.)
So tldr: I don’t mind dadmare, but it personally isn’t for me. I like found family bad sanses, but not if there’s roles assigned and not if it’s not earned.
I don’t like Nightmare being the perfect father somehow and the sanses being treated like children even though they’re 30-40+ adults and aren’t looking for a father figure.
I prefer dysfunctional found family dynamics with the bad sanses.
Also that some people aren’t likely to be overly emotionally involved or invested in these dynamics for a very long time if at all, even if he plays along as if its all a game or some elaborate test being played on him— either because he thinks he has to, or because it’s something new and he’s curious. He may even get bored of the dynamics eventually, and start asking Nightmare when it’s game over.
Which could lead to something very interesting if he realizes it was never supposed to be a game or a test.
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anonymouscheeses · 3 months ago
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Im sorry i have to say it..: Get Your Hands Dirty sounds like a love song.
HEAR. ME. OUTT!! (No i dont mean a love song between Chloe n Ella omg 😭)
What I'm implying here is that it sounds like one of those niche high school love stories when one of the lovers(most likely a goodie two-shoes) goes to their mentor/parent/even the person their loving/etc to ask for advice on relationships. Or more specifically, if this person is worth it or even a good person. From the top of my head: I Won't Say (I'm In Love) and the goodie and the wildchild dynamic is pretty similar to Gabriella and Troy from hs musical, which iws(iil) kinda inspired this post tbh but also ive been thinking about this ever since i first watched the movie. (You plop in ur own songs, i js KNOW this trope exists)
Now that we've established the well used niche trope existing in this niche song made by the niche king that is Disney.... why do i think that Get Your Hands Dirty is a love song, i hear?
Lets analyze THE LYRIICS 😈😈
"Right and wrong, cruel and kind, who's to say?" "There's a code that I believe in."
"Robin Hood" "yeah?" "Awesome guy" "yeah!"
"Every choice, you're gonna find there's shades of grey." "There are rules for a reason!"
"So you could then cross that line, theoretically."
"You'd agree?" "But he stole for the poor."
"The decision's always up to you. When there's only one thing left to do"
"I don't know you anymore.."
Okay, so i shortened and made it tiny for obvious reasons, that bein its too long 😭 so! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS A FEEELIN?? a feelin that this is SCREAMING denial?! Its giving...
Chloe: Ellaaaa.... this girl im talkn to is SOOO HHHOOOOTT and PRETTY and cool and stuff but ugh.... SHE EEEVILLL!!
Ella: oh my gosh.. STFU. Shes prolly not even that evil ill prove it smh..
*get ur hands dirty starts playing. No exaggeration. No cap.*
"Okay, but there's some universal truths you must recognize." "Like?"
"Valiant knights, pure and good, guaranteed" "That depends on what they're fighting for"
"Creepy witches selling potions for evil deeds" "She could have kids she's providing for"
"If your good-good things will come to you"
MORE denial, Chloe wants to be friends with Red SO bad she looks stupid, but she brings herself back by trying to prove to herself that she's evil and they SHOULDN'T be that close. Which also is a big sign of comphet and heteronormativity, i would know 🧍 (which is a post for another day i might make. Prolly 2 prove that Chloe is a lesbian in deep comphet)
"But just how far do you go? How much do you compromise? Oh, tell me, how do you know. Where do you draw the line?"
"There's nothing I wouldn't do. If my heart tells me it's right. If it's for someone I love. If it's to save a life."
"To save your life."
Further deepening the trope i mentioned. The first line could be interpreted as a double meaning since the song is kind of mostly about Chloe coming to terms with the fact Red isn't really evil or as bad as she thought, plus the argument of where the line between evil and good is. It could refer to Red or Ella, maybe both, but Ella changes the meaning with her own experiences so it drifts off the focus from Red because we cant have ANYTHING 🤧 but i still believe Chloe intended it to be for Red since the entire song is really just for the progress of their relationship n stuff.
Now this could definitely all be in my head, yes, Disney would most likely NEVER canonize or even imply heavily a queer relationship or anything lgbtq on a pre established franchise (cowards.). But there is always a chance.... deep inside the dark heart of the mouse..
Plus, with the subtle hints here and there of Red and Chloe's relationship growing, romantically or not, they are still super close and love eachother alot. Chloe is js (kinda) canonically a girl kisser who cant help but find a girl kissable (same)
And don't get me started on this movie and its obsession with love and proving how it is not "ain't it". Hello...? They set the tone of love, but i see NO person close enough to Red established for this message (other than Chloe) and if they introduce some random guy in the next movies, NO ONE would care nor would they want it unless somehow its 100x better than redcharming, but thats impossible cz wlw 4 life.
So, this entire thingy is me basically finding scraps and wanting to provr that charminghearts IS canon and WILL be established soon! (Im delulu)
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AITA for "unknowingly" cheating on my girlfriend?
🤍🍇 so i recognize post
preface: yes i am, theres no excuse, i just want to hear more ppl's thought because different ppl in my life have very different opinions on this??? even though i think cheating is cut and dry?
earlier this year, i (20nb, tho i was 19 at the time) was in a purely monogamous relationship with my ex (19f). there were ups and downs, i had some issues that i really shouldve talked to her about, but overall it was the best experience. id never dated anybody before. she's the only person who ive ever loved in that way. i think shes the best person, funny, smart. i was really lucky to have her.
i have another friend, who i'll call H (21f), who has been my friend for years. we're really close, and we've shared a lot with each other. i also love her deeply, though in a different, entirely platonic way. she has told me that she loves me, and has loved me in romantic ways, even though i've never reciprocated (im fine with that, everyone in my main friend group is a little bit polyamorous).
there were two main incidents that happened between me and H. the first, i didnt really understand what was going on or that it was entirely wrong. we were cuddling, which i do with all of my friends, and she started getting really into it and getting on top of me. she asked if she could kiss me (on the lips) and i said no, partly because, well, i had a monogamous partner, and partly because i hate kissing on the lips. i probably shouldve entirely cut it off at that moment. my only excuse (which is pretty flimsy) is that, im kinda aroace so physical affection and the difference between platonic and romantic have always left me a little confused. i kinda thought this was normal, especially because H is polyamorous and in several relationships that heavily blur the lines between platonic and romantic.
then, about two weeks after that, H and i hung out again, but this time we were smoking marijuana. weed makes me highly suggestible and also incapable of remembering anything past about five seconds. not that im blaming the drugs, just describing the situation. basically, H and i were cuddling again when she decided to move on top of me and got flirty, with a lot of touching sensitive places for the purpose of getting a reaction (all above the belt). i went along with this because i respect H, ive known her for a long time, and i didnt want to say no to her. again, not an excuse, because she didnt force me to do it.
in the moment, i didnt think this was cheating. we werent doing anything explicitly sexual, we weren't making out, but we were definitely frisky and i know H was horny at the time. a couple hours later, when i sobered up, i suddenly realized what we had done and asked H if i had just cheated on my girlfriend. she also seemed to realize what had just happened and we agreed that i had cheated, that it was entirely wrong, and we should never do it again.
i decided to tell my ex about this immediately, because i thought she should know. i asked if she was in a position to hear bad news, and when she was, i was completely honest. she obviously didnt take it well, mentioning how she felt like she could never trust me again despite being the person she trusted most in the world. she loved me but this was unacceptable and a huge violation. i agreed, and after a bit of thinking, i told her that i thought we should break up. i had terrible guilt about what i'd done and assumed that we'd never recover, and it didnt seem like she could pull the plug, so i did.
she proceeded to get even more mad at me because of this, which in hindsight is completely understandable. from her perspective, i had just dropped two emotional bombs on her, and maybe i was implying that i liked H more than her. i wasnt, and i dont, but i know why it came across that way.
my other friends agreed with me that i shouldve broken up with her after that. in hindsight, i dont know if it was the right choice. i miss her dearly and wish i had worked more on the relationship.
we've since talked about it. i told her that i still loved her (bc i do, very deeply, and i dont know if i'll ever get over her) but said that i dont expect anything, dont expect a relationship, etc. she was okay with this because, in her words, she trusts me to not make it a big deal or awkward. we hang out frequently now, we watch anime together, and we get along well as friends. i feel so lucky that she is willing to spend time with me, that she still enjoys my company even a little bit.
the confusing part is that i told my dad about this and he basically said, "you were 19yo in a long distance, online-only relationship. this was inevitable and you shouldnt feel too bad about it. it was wrong but not the worst thing ever." i dont really agree with that, because it was a pretty serious relationship despite being online. we even met up at a convention and spent several nights together in a hotel. it was the happiest weekend of my life. i thought i could marry her maybe someday. and i dont think being 19yo justifies it. 13yo maybe, but i was old enough to know right from wrong, even if my knowledge about romantic and sexual relationships was underdeveloped.
basically, im looking for nuanced opinions. i fully expect the results to be YTA. im hoping ppl can give me any sort of insight in the comments.
PS: H is partially to blame bc she knew i was in a monogamous relationship but please dont hate on her too much in the comments, we've had a lot of talks about this and what happened drastically changed the way the both of us see relationships and each other. basically, she learned her lesson and she was never trying to be a bitch or a homewrecker. i know her well enough to know shes a good person at heart. she's also not on tumblr to see any of your comments. direct all of you criticism towards me, please.
What are these acronyms?
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firesnap · 10 months ago
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i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
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lovdlydaz · 11 months ago
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𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴.
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switch!mingi x switch!san x black!afab!reader
your boys are so dumb and in love sometimes, not knowing what or how to act around you or in public. you adore them though, but their affection can be too much for you sometimes.
warnings: fluff to smut, himbo energy, p in v, unprotected sex, praise, slight choking, slight pain kink, spanking if you squint, everyone is switches, oral (m and f receiving), js some himbo sex enjoy
a/n: i absolutely adore the idea of lovesick himbos mingi and san, they’re literally the definition of himbo energy. also ive been brainrotting on them since they’re my biases so yeah—anyways, enjoy lovelies! i just need to get this off my chest before i continue the txt series.
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you loved your boys to the ends of the earth, you would do anything for them. they gave you so much energy, so much life, and they knew exactly how to make you happy whenever you were sad or stressed out about work or school. they would always give you hugs and cuddles, share their food with you and make up fun little games that you all could play in order to make you smile. they knew everything about you, and that’s what you loved about them.
so, you came home yet again feeling extremely stressed due to the amount of work your boss had put on you to do before the end of your shift. you were tired and just ready to go to bed, but your boys were on the couch playing video games and trying to kill their opponent. once they saw you slug through the door they paused the game, san coming up to you and wrapping his arms around you. “what’s wrong babe? another tough day?” he asked, to which you nodded. mingi got up and hugged you from behind, leaning his head down and smelling the nape of your neck.
your perfume you wore always never seemed to fade away, even as the day went on. you almost never reapplied it either, which mingi could smell but you still smelled like heaven. he looked up at san and gave him a look, which the man nodded. they both then pulled away from you and you were about to fall asleep from their body heat, but you stopped yourself and stayed upright to see what they had planned. you could only see through blurry eyes that they were going into your shared bedroom, closing your eyes for a little until you heard loud screaming—there they were.
they both had on princess tiaras and earrings, some pretty makeup and plump lips. you wondered how they did that so fast; but you didn’t question it. however, what you did notice was how they also had gotten into your wardrobe and got dressed that you normally didn’t wear, squeezing into them and giggling. once you realized how far they really went to make you smile your face beamed, giggling softly and looking up at the both of them. “you guys! you both look so funny—how did you even manage to fit in these?” you walked up to them and started to touch all over their dresses, smiling the entire time.
“well, apparently san knew how to put on a dress, and i just thought of it the same as wearing a long shirt—i was so wrong,” mingi exhaled, smiling once he felt your tiny hands on his body. “i only know how to put on a dress because of a concert we had that one time and i had to wear something like a dress—remember that mingi?” he asked, mingi nodding and grinning. “yeah! you looked so cool man. i wish i got to wear the cool stuff during our concerts…” he pouted, making you turn to him. “mingi, you’re one of the only people who GET to wear the cool outfits. you can’t complain,” he told him, making mingi frown but giggle after. “yeah… i guess you’re right y/n. but… do you feel better now?” he asked, both of your puppy-eyed boyfriends staring straight at you to see what you would say.
you just cheesed and laughed, nodding your head as you got out your phone. “yes, yes i do! now smileee!” you singsonged, the two men posing as you took pictures of them. once you were done you pocketed your phone, hugging them both and they wrapped your arms around you smaller form. you pulled away after a minute and looked up at the both of them, their smiles never wavering with your own.
now you three were in bed, cuddled up together and watching a movie on the big TV san had bought for your birthday. it was one of your favorite movies and, while the boys didn’t necessarily understand it, they never said anything because it always made you smile. you were the light of their lives, seeing you was the one thing that motivated them to get up in the morning. they felt like your relationship would last until the day they die. nobody could really ever break the three of you apart.
you say between the two men, basically using them as a sort of blanket even though you had one on all of you. you watched the movie with gleaming eyes, and san happened to notice that your hands were staying on your body instead of wondering like they normally would. so, he grabbed your hand and placed it in his lap, holding it but never taking his eyes off the movie. of course mingi didn’t notice this, but he wrapped his arms around you to keep you even warmer. your cuddle sessions were the best in your opinion, and you could never ever not be satisfied by the end of it.
however, there was a certain scene during the movie that always had you blushing, when the love interest and protagonist were doing some unholy things. now the hand that was on san’s lap tried to move away, but the bigger man kept it there. he knew how flustered you got with this scene, even though you watched this movie about a hundred times, this part always made you flustered. mingi knew as well, and he used it to put his hand on your thigh, running it slowly up your pajama shorts near your womanhood. you gulped, catching san’s attention.
“what’s wrong pretty girl? movie too much for you?” he purred, getting close to your ear and kissing right underneath it, near your jawline. you shivered and started to feel yourself getting aroused, whimpering softly as the men continued on. you understood why watching movies like this was a bad idea with them around, they were men in their mid twenties whose libidos were through the roof. especially with you. their dicks and muscles talked more than their brain half the time, but you enjoyed that more than you would like to admit.
now here you were, spread on the bed while san was nose deep in your pussy. mingi sat behind you, fondling your breasts and pressing his plump lips against your darker skin. “fuck baby, lookin’ so good for both of us aren’t you?” he mumbled against your skin, causing you to let out a desperate whimper as san continued with his tongue. “tastes just like chocolate too, so delicious and sweet,” the smaller man panted, going back to indulge himself in your taste. both their cocks were rock hard and throbbing against their boxers, mingi not really being secretive that you were turning him on.
he rolled his hips against your back, moving a hand away from your breasts to grab your braids, pulling them back and forcing your head back. you gasped before his lips pressed against your own, drool escaping from the disgustingly desperate kiss. you could feel your orgasm coming the more san’s tiny yet skilled tongue moved against your labia and your clit. he was eating you so good, tasting your sweetness on his tongue and making him go insane. he was so easy to get pussy drunk, you did that to him. both of your boys were so easily under the influence, your pussy had a spell on them that they couldn’t get enough of.
you pulled away from the kiss and just laid your head against mingi’s shoulder, moaning the closer you got to orgasm. “f—fuck— sannie, min— fuck!” you cried out the last part, legs shaking as your orgasm flowed all over san’s tongue. he slurped up every single bit of your juices, mingi massaging your breast and holding your neck. “good girl, that’s our good girl. now give us some more for the night yeah? can you do that baby?” he cooed, you still in the aftershocks of your orgasm but drunkly nodding. “mhm, can give y’all some more,” you breathed out, making mingi smirk.
meanwhile, when san finished he stood up from the bed, a wet spot on his boxers as he panted from the pure desire beaming within him. he looked up at you and mingi, climbing onto the bed and pressing his thinner lips against yours. you kissed back, your plump lips smearing the lipstick and lip gloss all over his lips. mingi’s hand was still around your neck, leaning down to press more kisses against your jawline and neck. you loved this attention, and they knew that. so, they stopped kissing you and moved you onto san’s lap, right against his boner that was begging to come out of their clothed confines.
san looked down at your smaller form, your braids falling over your shoulders and your lipgloss smeared all over your lips. your big e/c eyes gave him that look that made him lose his mind, so best believe he was going to give it to you good. he lifted you up softly to pull down his boxers, kicking them to the ground and sitting you back on his lap. your ass was grinding right up against his leaking hard on, making him suck in a breath and look back at mingi. the blonde haired man had his cock in his hand, stroking softly as he stared at the both of you. “go on, let her sit on it.” he commanded the black haired man, making him nod his head and grip your hips with enough tightness to have them bruise in the morning.
you looked back at san, since your back was against his chest. “please sannie, use me,” you begged oh so sweetly, you were too much for them both. that was all the black haired man needed to hear before he shoved you all the way his thick cock, hearing your sweet voice cry out with pleasure and shock. he let out a breathy moan at the feeling of your tightness around him so suddenly. you smirked down at him, grabbing his chin softly and rubbing his lip with your thumb. “you feel s’good around me sannie… such a big boy fuckin’ me,” you groaned out, making his cock twitch up inside you.
mingi watched you two with hungry eyes, he wanted in on the action but watching you start to grind your hips down on san and seeing his eyes roll back with pleasure had his attention more than his cock did, you were so sexy. your lashes fluttering with each movement, big plump lips glossy and covered with everyone’s spit as sweet moans escaped your throat. the sweet sound of your moans made the two men go absolutely insane, san’s cock was twitching madly inside of you because of how sweet you were.
mingi got an idea. he crawled over to the both of you, stopping your hips with a hard grip of your hips, tapping san’s shoulder and making him turn his head. he then whispered something in his ear, making san nod his dazed head and lay down. mingi grabbed your face and opened your mouth, spitting into it and making you swallow. you looked so dazed and you loved the messiness, it was so hot how a switch would flip inside them every time you three had sex.
the blonde was hovering over san’s face, his shaved hole right over the man’s mouth. the tallest had made sure to wash himself good too, since he didn’t want his friend and lover to taste something disgusting inside him. san’s little black eyes were hazed and filled with desire, his hands reaching up to grab mingi’s hips. he then forcefully pulled the man down to his face, basically suffocating himself with mingi’s ass. the blonde gasped and moaned softly, while his hands still holding your face guided it down to where his cock was. “fuck— suck it baby, know you can,” he grunted, you not needing to be twice before your whole mouth wrapped around his tip, your hand grabbing the parts that weren’t inside your mouth.
mingi’s eyes rolled back with pleasure, the overwhelming sensation of his boyfriend eating him out while his girlfriend sucked his dick made him lose his mind, and he loved it. san was enjoying this as well, because he was getting harder inside you and you weren’t even moving. you were getting wetter around him from hearing them both groan and whimper because of how good the sex was, you needed another orgasm.
you were on your knees and san’s hips were completely on the bed, not moving until he noticed how much your hole clenched and unclenched around him. he decided to start moving his hips, thrusting up into you and forcing your head to fly back in a frenzy. you moaned so loudly, mingi whining from the loss of contact and eyes begging you to continue. you of course didn’t see them so he grabbed your face and pushed you back onto his cock, moaning because of how good your wet mouth felt. your braids were all over the place now, sticking to your skin as sweat glistened over your chocolate body.
mingi’s eyes couldn’t believe himself, the two hottest people in the world were eating him out and sucking his dick. from watching you and san break underneath him he came in just a few minutes, filling your mouth up with his hot and tasty seed. you swallowed all you could, trying to get every last drop to savor the flavor. he rolled his eyes back and laid his head back, hands accidentally landing on san’s shoulders and pressing his whole weight onto them. san softly smacked mingi’s ass to tell him to let up, but all that elicited out of him was a moan. so, san did it again, this time harder, and the man got the message.
he let up on san, moving his ass up from his face and letting the man breathe. the black haired man’s face was covered in saliva, but he looked pleased with himself. he was still so close to orgasm, he needed something more to help him get there though. your pussy was more than enough but, he just needed more. so, mingi leaned down and kissed those thin yet cherry red lips of his, and that made him cum. you were riding him the whole time, moaning as he filled you up.
you came soon after, clamping around his sensitive cock and moaning alongside him. after a minute or so you got off of his cock, mingi staring at your creamy brown pussy ooze of you mixed contents. “c’mere honey, lemme eat you,” he panted, grabbing you softly and pulling you towards him. he laid down and sat you on his face, you rolling your eyes back as he devoured you. san was back up and kissing your lips, you whimpering into his mouth as mingi cleaned you up. after a good few minutes you came into his mouth, him cleaning up that substance as well.
after another minute or so you tapped his thigh, moving your hips away to signal your overstimulation. he let you do so, since he knew that you had work in the morning and he didn’t want you to be too late. however, he smack your ass a few times before letting you come up, you gasping at the smacks and rolling your eyes back.
san watched and bit his lip, his cock twitching but not coming back to life. mingi’s surprisingly hadn’t come back to life either, but that was because it took all his power not to get hard. you looked up at the both of them, your lashes almost falling off your face due to the sweat making the adhesive wear away, you were panting and shaking because of how good you had just felt.
your boys laid down with you, smiling and giggling because of how sweet you looked. you were so fucked out, and they knew how good they made you feel. they hugged you as you slowly drifted off, not before mumbling a sweet “good night”, to which they responded with in-unison “good night babe!” before you were out like a light. the other two stayed up to watch you, giggling and laughing while they watched you sleep. however, they did go to sleep after a few hours, and you all looked so peaceful together.
you loved your himbo boys, and they loved you. they may be air headed and think with their muscles half the time, but they knew exactly how to make you feel better and how to fuck you good. they were your world, and you were theirs. it was mutually a really great relationship.
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© gg 2023. dividers were made by me. do not steal, use, or repost my work without my consent. reblogging/interaction is welcomed.
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nekropsii · 7 months ago
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i think theres a really big issue in the community specifically surrounding the people who headcanon dave as some sort of trans where both sides of the coin seem to hate each other? like both sides are at fault here, ive seen blogs demeaning people who like transmasc dave and then like you said other people just completely disregarding transfem dave. guys. can we stop. let people headcanon what they want without blatantly attacking them, this goes for all parties in this issue. i dont get why people act like this. the fuck happened to all trans people being equal and then we get both transmisoginy and harassment of people liking either of the trans headcanons?
jesus man. im tired of it
Respectfully, I do not think this is a “Both Sides” situation.
The concept of transmasc Dave is objectively one of the most popular headcanons in the Homestuck fandom, and it has been for years. I think I can excuse people who headcanon transfem Dave for “hating it”, because as I have been trying to fucking say this entire time, people keep correcting me on my own posts about transfem Dave on my own blog, and belittling me for thinking this way. And since I’ve asked people to maybe interrogate why they feel the need to correct me and patronize me and to stop fucking doing that, I’ve been getting inundated with people trying to mansplain and traumadump to me how me saying to not correct me and patronize me for having a transfem headcanon is oppressing them and that trans men also have it bad, as if I literally ever insinuated that they do not have it tough.
You do not get to “Both Sides” me on a discussion about my experience when I have never - and I mean NEVER - received this level of heat for headcanoning a character as literally anything else. I have NEVER gotten “corrected” for headcanoning a character as gay, or transmasculine, or black, or a lesbian - only now, when I headcanon a character as a trans woman, am I getting people correcting me, condescending me, telling me some really fucking personal traumas to explain to me I’m “in the wrong” for being upset about the correction and condescension, very obviously making assumptions about my sex, gender, and what I’ve been through in my life, making negative assumptions about my intelligence, and putting a fuck ton of words in my mouth.
I am speaking from my own experience here. I am sorry if that hurts anyone’s feelings, but that much cannot be taken from me. From my experience, this is not “Both Sides”, this is very clearly one side with far greater numbers giving another flack for not assimilating, and when that other side tries to say what’s going on, they’re treated as an aggressor, and treated like a petulant idiot child.
Before anyone puts any more words in my god damn mouth:
I literally never said no one could HC Dave as transmasculine, or that they were wrong for thinking that way. I have outright said the opposite, that it is fine and that I do not care. HOWEVER, I sure as hell am experiencing people telling me that I am wrong for HCing her as a woman.
I literally never, and I mean NEVER, said or insinuated that trans men do not suffer, especially under the patriarchy. I am not an idiot, I know how the patriarchy works, it hurts literally everyone that doesn’t conform to an incredibly, incredibly narrow white non-queer cishetero male ideal. I am also not an idiot, I know that transphobia will exist no matter what you identify as, and it will suck absolute horseshit. Neither “side” has it “easy”, every type of transphobia has an uncomfortably, terrifyingly high body count. I never fucking said trans men do not have it hard. Stop putting those words in my mouth.
Literally all I said was that it’s fucking weird that I’ve never been treated this way until I headcanoned a character as a trans woman, and maybe to interrogate that because people sure seem comfortable acting this way, and that-
This is Transmisogyny.
And if there’s anything else I’ve learned from this, it’s that-
HIT DOGS HOLLER.
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opertabry · 1 year ago
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wrong number smau ➝ q&a (half written)
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synopsis ➝ peer pressured by your group members, you ask a fellow idol for her number. but when you texted her that night, you realised that she wasn’t the person you were texting. what you didn’t know was that she gave karina’s, aepsa’s hotshot visual and leader, number to you.
chapter 21 ➝ q&a
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“i gotta go and get my makeup redone, i’ll be right back to watch you, okay?” karina whispers into your ear, making you jump slightly.
“wait what? aren’t we answering the questions together?”
“nope, it was a last minute thing. making us go solo you cool with that?” you nod slowly while furrowing your eyebrows as you felt her nudge you towards the chair that was set up in the middle of a completely white set. you sighed before shuffling over to the chair and gently plopping yourself down. you glanced over to karina, who threw you finger guns before moonwalking into the makeup room.
you smiled, shaking your head. what a loser.
you played with your fingers nervously as you watched the interviewer sit herself down across from you.
“y/n, don’t be nervous, it’s just fan questions. we’ll be starting in five minutes. get yourself ready.” you never got used to the sound of the directors voice, it scared you because it was so loud - even if you knew it was coming. five minutes flew by, mainly because you were zoning out, but that did not feel like five minutes to you.
“okay, y/n, you ready?,” you nodded in the general direction of his voice, “and.. ACTION!”
interview starts;
[i: interviewer]
[y: y/n]
i: hello y/n
y: hi!
i: could you introduce yourself?
y: oh yes, sorry. [turns to camera, waving] hello, everyone! i’m kim y/n from lesserafim!
i: we have a series of questions from fans that they want us to ask you.
y: that’s exciting, i love answering fan questions.
i: so y/n, contrary to popular belief, i’m sure you’re not entirely fearless, right?
y: yes, not many people know this, [laughs] but i do have some fears but i’m working on them. so FEARNOTs, wait for me okay?
i: this is our first question from fimmiesupporters in atlanta; could you tell us some of your fears?
y: oh! atlanta, i’ve been there before, great place. um, are you sure i’m allowed to say anything i want?
i: slice of life is all about transparency, so yes.
y: uh well, im really scared of alcohol, spiders and people. i got that from zuha actually.
i: ah kazuha! ive seen that clip, it was with sakura right? but alcohol? why?
y: yeah it was with kkura unnie. but that girl, zuha. [shakes head] i really want to look into her mind and see what’s in there. and i guess i’m scared of it because i’ve seen how bad it could get.
i: bad? how so?
y: when it becomes an addiction, and how it could really change a person. i’ve had someone i love lose themself to alcohol addiction. so it hits a little too close to home.
i: so, you probably don’t drink, right?
y: yeah, i cant bring myself to drink. i was actually supposed to go on youngji’s nothing prepared show, but i said i couldn’t.
i: so it’s just that you don’t like to drink? what about other people?
y: sort of? i mean, i don’t like to drink, we established that. and well, it’s not like i’m going to look down on people who drink. i mean, kkura unnie and chaewon drink quite a bit to relieve some stress too. i think i’ve already kind of warmed up to the idea of being around people who are drinking, but it’s just to the point where you are drunk and aren’t aware of what you’re saying or doing, that’s where i get uncomfortable.
i: so you’ve never drank alcohol before?
y: [shakes head] no i have, like once. when i turned 20. just a little sip though.
i: ah of course, you always have to try when you turn of age. so what do you think of the arising drinking shows that have recently become popular and trending?
y: it’s good entertainment, so i don’t really see a problem with it. but i, personally, won’t watch it.
i: so you haven’t seen chaewon’s or karina’s nothing prepared episodes?
y: no, i haven’t.
i: ah, i see. okay, next question! fearkkura from taiwan asks; i heard you’re a big twice fan, who’s your bias?
you opened your mouth to answer, but your eyes flickered to the figure standing by the door. karina. how long had she been standing there? and you felt yourself going into auto-pilot after that, you couldn’t focus properly when you could feel karina’s stare burning into your side.
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woaaah y/n lore???
previous ⌊ masterlist ⌊ next
taglist ➝ @aeongiies @rd0265667 @kyaitosz @haerinkisser @mightymyo @limbforalimb @yoontoonwhs @i06kkura @sewiouslyz @jisooftme @justme-idle @noooodlessstuff @yerisdumbass @awkwardtoafault @pandafuriosa60 @jiwoneiric @haechansbbg @koeuh @beawolfbealionbeyou
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bluejaysandblackbats · 11 months ago
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Catch and Release
Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam
Summary: AU where Jason doesn't die in the explosion and he and Tim end up attending the same high school months later.
Chapters: 8/?
Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Sebastian Ives, Jack Drake, Janet Drake
Relationships: TBA
Additional Tag: Jason Todd Lives, Jason Todd-centric, POV Jason Todd, POV First Person, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Jason Todd is Not Robin (Anymore), Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Alfred Pennyworth Knows, Stalker Tim Drake, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd Has PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unlikely Friends, Injury Recovery, Emotional Baggage, Rage, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating
Chapter Eight: Pain in the Head
I hung out with Tim's friends and worked on character sheets. I spent three hours there before I told Tim I had to go. I had a great time. Don't get me wrong. But I was nauseous and didn't want to be sick at his house. Ives planned on sleeping over at Tim's place, so I didn't have to feel bad about leaving him home alone. I got a ride to the manor, and Bruce sat on the porch waiting for me as soon as I arrived. "Where have you been?" Bruce asked.
"I could ask you the same thing, Bruce... Can I go inside now?" I asked.
"You're pale," Bruce replied.
I wanted to lie down and nap, but I could tell Bruce didn't plan on letting things go. I didn't have the time or energy to explain myself, so I did what any reasonable teenager would do. I made myself throw up and burst into tears. "Jason," Bruce sighed before helping me to the family room. He couldn't accuse me of anything while I was sick. That and throwing up stopped the onset of a migraine.
"I'm so sorry, Bruce-."
"It's fine... When is the last time you took-. I swore I wouldn't ask you that," Bruce replied.
"I didn't think I needed them anymore... I thought I'd been feeling better lately," I replied. Bruce felt my forehead.
"I've been home for two days, and you-. Jason, I'm sorry for walking out on you. I wasn't trying to hurt you... I'm-. Our bond is different from the bond I have with anyone else. I'm holding on for dear life with you... And I know I'm losing you. I feel like you're slipping away when I look at you.
"I can't take the thought of knowing you suffered because I chose to leave you alone that day. Jason, you're so precious to me... And I'm terrified that if I let you talk about what happened, you'll say what I've been most afraid to hear," Bruce confessed. I wasn't in the mood for a serious conversation, but he was finally willing to speak about what happened to me.
"I don't hate you... And I don't blame you for what happened. I've been trying to tell you all this time," I paused, "I'm sure Dick told you I wanna die sometimes... But you don't realize what I have to experience every day."
Bruce exhaled through his nose. "Go ahead..."
"I wake up under debris almost every day... And then I lie about my nerve pain, which I know everyone can see. By the time I get to the mirror, I'm already so disheartened by the countless efforts I've made to appear normal that I barely notice my scars anymore. When I shower, my skin still hurts like the burns are fresh, and I want to cry, but if I do, I'd never get anything done. Then, I come down for breakfast... And sometimes the medications I'm on make me so sick I don't want to eat, but I know I'd be worse off if I didn't.
"Then I go to school, and you wouldn't believe what they say about me," I swallowed hard.
"Jason-."
"But I endure it because I know I have to... What I can't stomach is the isolation. Don't ice me out, Bruce," I begged. Bruce sighed.
"I don't know how-. I can't pretend that almost losing you didn't change the entire way I had to look at our life. You can't be Robin anymore, Jason, and I feel awful for having to take that away from you," Bruce whispered.
"You're saying our, but you mean mine. How can you expect me to step down from being Robin when you can't even walk away from being Batman?" I asked.
"Jason, it's been over a year, and you're still healing. I can't risk putting you out in the field again. Gotham needs Batman-."
"Bullshit," I snapped.
"Language-." "Oh! Go to hell! I told you about all my issues, thinking you would finally see me, and I realized you're no better than the rest of them!" I yelled. I couldn't help but get mad. I should've seen it coming. He'd never had the guts to say it, but I knew this was his way of shutting me out for good. It pissed me off. I threw my crutches and hobbled upstairs.
"Jason! Jason, you can't-!"
"Screw you!" I yelled as I went to my room. I slammed the door and packed my bag. I almost forgot I felt sick. He saw me as weak. That was the worst thing he could've ever opened his mouth to admit. He was no better than everyone that gaped and gawked at me. I was his walking tragedy, and I'd be damned if I let him treat me like a ghost.
I started packing with tears in my eyes. I wanted to get out of there before I said something vile. "Jason, don't be like this! Please come out and talk to me-."
"Bruce, I need to get the hell away from you before I say something I regret!" I hollered. "And I guarantee that if you follow me, I will never come home! Leave my crutches and get away from me!" I sat down and texted Tim. He was the only person I could trust at that moment. I asked him to come to get me, and he texted me immediately. I waited in my room until Tim texted me, and I left my bedroom. Bruce left my crutches in front of the door and retreated like always. I slung my duffel across my body like a messenger bag, hoping it wouldn't throw me off balance.
I swung the door open and left it like that. Tim took my bag and opened his mouth to ask if I was okay, but he kept quiet. It was for the best because I was in a particularly heinous mood. I fell asleep in the car and woke up in Tim's guest room. He was on the floor with Ives, eating pizza. My head throbbed, and I felt sicker than I did earlier. Ives glanced at me and got up to turn the lights down. "Sorry, were we too loud?" Ives questioned.
"No, I-. How long have I been out?" I asked.
"Thirty minutes... Maybe an hour," Tim answered, "Do you need an aspirin?"
I pressed my palms against my eyelids. "No thanks... Tim, do you-? Who carried me in?" I asked.
"We both did. Tim got you out of the car but wasn't strong enough to get you up the stairs. It was a team effort," Ives answered, "You're heavier than you look." I let out a soft chuckle despite the pounding in my head.
"Know how I asked you to move in with me?" I questioned. "Could it still work if it were the other way around?"
"You wanna live here?" Tim asked. I nodded. "Alright." I was shocked. I thought he'd say no, but he looked thrilled.
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ultimateloserboy · 5 months ago
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ok you know what im gonna say it with my full chest. literally nobody talks about bendy (the character) like who he actually is and ive been tired of it since the old game ended. i think hes genuinely one of the most incorrectly fanonized characters like ever at this point. and i genuinely believe it changed the actual canon and it bothers me a lot.
as for the physical version of him/ the ink demon— in the original batim game there was literally a whole plot point about bendy being non-human and how he came out of the machine physically and mentally sloppy compared to the other creations. hes not a fully fledged-out person and that’s LITERALLY an entire section of the original game. he has no human soul or mind, hes sentient but about as much as a gorilla. he attacks like a zombie or an animal with instinct and not like an angry human being. he cant speak because his mouth is fake and he cant walk properly because his limbs are liquid sludge— hes literally an abomination— a mockery of actual human life. its crazy to even call him the “villain” of the story because he doesnt have the thinking ability to genuinely be malicious. its like calling zombies the villains of zombie movies, they cant be because they dont have the brain function to be.
a lot of people ignored the obvious fact that he isnt human-like so they could sexualize him, which isnt as bad as sexualizing an actual animal— im not claiming that— but what bothers me is how the creators made him MORE HUMAN to lean towards these people and ill never think otherwise. yall can argue with me or call me chronically online, but bendy WASNT able to speak or was human-like at all until the dark revival, which was so obviously fan service its not even funny.
im not claiming that people who sexualize bendy are zoos or something— thats too far. what im claiming tho is that this genuinely interesting character was given consciousness and the ability to speak after previously not ever having those things JUST so booktok ass teenagers could swoon over him like they do venom, taking away the interest of his original character. he wasnt fully sentient until it made money for the creators and then suddenly hes speaking poetry in a deep sexy man voice with a fucking 8 pack. how does that not bother anyone? im not even trying to say its morally weird— im just saying its bad writing in general!!! like why do yall let these games ruin characters for fan service and not even give a fuck, and then have the balls to ask why newer ones are so poorly written?? no fucking shot EVERY one of yall was ok with them retconning his entire existence like HES THE MAIN CHARACTER???? DO YALL REALLY WANNA SEXUALIZE EVERYTHING //THAT// BAD TO THE POINT ITS OK TO REWRITE THE ENTIRE MAIN CHARACTER AS LONG AS IT MEANS YOU CAN FINALLY SEXUALIZE HIM CANONICALLY??????
and before people say anything— no i dont think its wrong for bendy to develop a voice or to become more human over time— BUT COME ON DUDE ARE YALL DENSE?? IVE SEEN LESS FAN-SERVICE STARING AT MY GOD DAMN AIR CONDITIONER!!!! they didnt “develop” bendy more— they retconned him to please freaks online!!! surely ONE of yall had to have noticed like… when tdr dropped the sexualization was so bad i genuinely didnt have fun with the series anymore. and I CANT because its justified now! the creators retconned him to be more sexyman so now you cant even argue against it!! literally why cant we have ONE thing online without people wanting to pound every single fucking character??
im sorry if this sounds mean but ive been upset about this for YEARS!! bendy was my favorite character as a kid and NOBODY gives him justice NOT EVEN HIS OWN CREATORS. it would be one thing if there was just a small portion that treated him like this but now its literally everyone and the games lean into it and i just want to explode and die at this point fr.
it genuinely makes me a little ill knowing he was once just a confused, soulless being fighting and killing out of the confusion, rage and fear that his cruel existence caused him to feel, but now hes just a deep voiced venom-ripoff villain whose just a big meanie and hunts you for sport or some stupid shit.
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quillkiller · 2 months ago
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Hi, I love your blog, and please I would love to see you talk more about Walburga, I always found her a very interesting character, but there's almost nothing about her
hi!! thank you!! 💞
i love walburga so much, i think she’s so interesting. i think people forget that she was a woman in the 70s, and a girl in the 60s. to be clear, i don’t think she’s a redeemable character, especially not as an adult, but i do still think she’s a victim. <- two things can be true and everything isn’t as simple as black and white.
she’s painted as the main villain of the noble and most ancient house of black, but people forget she’s a woman. in the seventies!!! realistically, walburga held no power what so ever, was married off to orion against her will, and under orions control. she gave orion sons and an heir and did her duties as a wife. she’s a victim turned abuser. <- she simply didn’t break the cycle of abuse, tale old as time, etc. she’s been powerless her entire life, so she takes it out on her children.
me and kara talked about walburga a bit when we started talking about the bellareg marriage, and like, in the grand scheme of things, walburga isn’t really anything. she’s such a small pawn in such a large game, a game ruled by powerful pureblood men. she was born a daughter, something to be dealt with and bartered with, and ends up at the hands of a husband like her father. <- i wrote a bit about this in my bellareg oneshot. me and kara said that we think bellatrix grew up idolizing walburga, because despite being small in the grand scheme of things, she can appear so scary and violent. but as bellatrix gets older she loses more and more respect for walburga. she realises that she really is just a submissive and obedient wife, on a tight leash held by her husband. walburga doesn’t have ambitions that stray outiside being a wife and producing an heir. like, at the end of the day, walburga really is just a wife and a mother.
walburga’s abuse is allowerd because orion is the one to allow it. he’s the puppet master, the only one with an actual say-so in his family and with his sons. i’ve said it before when i’ve talked about how walburga is treated like the Main Villain, but a silent man (of the house) will always scare me more than a wife ’acting out’. orion is a man, and it’s bonkers to me that people don’t recognize that he’s the main villain and main abuser in the black household. he’s literally a massively powerful pureblood man in the seventies and people want to act like he’s somehow scared of walburga ??? (<- a take ive seen multiple times lmao). like genuinely, WHAT is walburga going to do to him. she’s powerless in her own marriage. even a disowned sirius is more powerful than she’ll ever be. even regulus, the spare, is more powerful than she’ll ever be. because they’re men.
to sirius, she’s a monster. he’s simply not able to humanize her (to me), and nor should he have to. she quite genuinely is his abuser and his own devil, and i don’t think he necessarily recognizes that the main villain of his upbringing is his father. <- not that he doesn’t hate his father too and thinks of him as his abuser. but to me, walburga is his actual devil. his monster under the bed, more frequent im his nightmares than his father. and like, yeah. that’s so understandable, and i don’t think that’s like the wrong opinion of him to have lmao. it’s never up to the abused to forgive and/or understand his abuser. like i said at the very top, walburga is irredeemable. when she becomes an adult the abuse becomes a choice, and she didn’t break the cycle. <- i wrote a bit about this, and how shocked sirius is to see walburga as a person with feelings, in my grief microfic.
reg, however, is able to humanize his mother. me and kara talked briefly about the spare & wife parallells and how that’s why he’s able to see her as a person. laurie @/itsjaywalkers reblogged a post a million years ago that said something like ’i wish they would invent a mother who wants to be saved’ <- and that’s how regulus sees his mother, i think. regulus knows what it’s like to be powerless, to be a shadow, to be less. but his mother doesn’t want to be saved, and so regulus doesn’t want to be saved. i’ve always thought that sirius is more like orion and regulus is more like walburga. <- and that’s also why walburga loves sirius more, and why she can’t stand regulus. it’s also part of a lot of conflict between the black brothers, the fact that sirius can’t humanize walburga and regulus can’t help but humanize her.
anyway! yeah, walburga is irredeemable & and abuser but at the same time she’s also a victim. people can be, and often are, both. it doesn’t mean she should be forgiven. i’ve talked lots here on quillkiller dot tumblr dot com how much it infuriates me when abusers are painted as evil heartless monsters that simply can’t help it because its ’in their nature’ or because they were ’born evil’ <- that’s simply just not how people and/or abuse works. abusers are people who chose to do that to you, who have feelings and lives and relationships and a past. it’s never as simple as black or white ! there’s nuance everywhere, babey
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