#because it would ruin my work
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the amount of people that cannot fathom the fact i dont want to make a stupid amount of money, i just want to be able to live, is both a little concerning and not surprising at all
#yap#was talking to my psychiatrist today#he was saying that my book could be a movie#and i could be a millionaire or whatever#and i told him i dont want that#because it would ruin my work#and he just would not believe i'd turn down that amount of money#BRO I JUST WANT TO LIVE#THATS ALL I WANT#TO LIVE#AND PUBLISH MY WORK
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happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!
thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!
I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)
I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!
also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...
...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me#but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual#he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly#supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type#because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that#it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead#and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF.#(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway)#i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry!#unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever#(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress)#i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much.#my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks#i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair#(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)
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same teacher, different lessons
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#sonic the hedgehog#dr. ivo eggman robotnik#miles tails prower#sonic frontiers#SPOILERS. THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS COMIC BY THE WAY.#SONIC FRONTIERS SPOILERS#smiles gently I can not believe I let sonic the fuckign hedgehog ruin my life#(I can I totally can)#hi <3 if you follow me because I drew this sonic comic. don't!#don't do it! follow me bc I'm funny and hot and devastatingly smart don't follow me bc I draw sonic stuff. bc it won;t happen again#I mean it. not bc I dont like or want to do sonic stuff. but bc I am literally in the middle of a job rn#one that I want to invest 100% of my time and brain in#this comic is actually an effort to win my brain back so I can do my job lol#because I finished miss penny snapcube's streams of this game and it force fed me emotions#I just! I just thought sonic would come tell eggman abt sage!! idk seems like something he'd do!!!#and also the whole thing abt letting the characters move on and have a future and change and develop#vs Killing My Baby Little Guy Daughter For Like Ten Minutes#thematically interesting! also for some reasons I had. a pretty easy time drawing this#I was mouthbreathing galloping like a horse to finishing this. Because I Need To Work#I didnt expect to have a good time with these designs tho idk why. probably bc I most suck shit at drawing animals#but to be fair yet again sonic and tails are little guys. theyre animal but theyre also like dudes. also sonic's design is kinda perfect#as far as character design goes he's really pretty goo- wait I made a continuity error hol on#okay. okay I fixed it. no problem. no matter 's all good now#okay. I go sleep now. today has been very noisy. but this actually got me through it okay#thank you sonic the hedgehog. that was pretty cool of u#have a good night guys! absolute freedom is probably really really sad#long post
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My surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. I hope it goes smoothly and there are no more delays... I just really want this to be done and over with already asdfghjkl;
Please keep your fingers crossed for me, who else will draw all this Wriolette for you if I'm not healthy!!!
#la vie en Red#my art#Wriothesley#meanwhile I'll tell you about my headcanon#that Wrio has a bunch of stuffed animals beside his bed#(he didn't have any toys of his own as a kid only a few shared ones with his foster siblings)#he just sort of felt lonely after finishing his sentence and he can't keep pets so he got himself some plush friends on a whim#and then he also got Sharkthesley from the Melusines because they said it looks like him#he'd never admit that he has them because it would ruin his tough guy persona#but he still pets them or cuddles sometimes after a long day at work
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P3 x Sleeping Beauty
alt ver
#persona 3#art.mymp3#been sitting on this one for a while now#I've drawn so many things for this au already#even have some very pretty minatos in dresses#not sure if I'll post them though because I'm not sure what ppl would think#regardless i think its my best coloring work in some time#and of course ryoji would be maleficent#the horrible fairy that cursed his life to be terrible and ruined his life when he was very young#not going to tag this but i do think i wanna post it#i hope someone gets the vision
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okay i picked bronze but with the understanding that there would be an obnoxious gold pattern.
#my fanart#luis serra#resident evil#re4 remake#mermay#mermaid au#I AM NOT DOING ALL OF THESE OKAY#just whatever moves me in the moment#because i am STILL WORKING on that comic#and i would like to finish it some time this century#anyway here#i can’t not draw mermaids#forgot to add: really hard to find good smokes under the water#that lighter is just ruined
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WHY DID THEY PUT ALOT OF BABY DINOSAURS IN THE ABYSS???? THIS IS SO EVIL AHSKDJHDASKDASDA
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME............... THEYRE JUST BABIES :(((((
#me hearing them squeak as i charge neuvis NA.........#also i feel like they know how clunky kinich is gonna be#because hyv WOULD NOT put JUST ONE ruin guard in a single side#and kinich just wont work unless its single target....#because man the floors are SO tailored for mualani and kinich#still its so off seeing it but im not gonna complain about easy freemogems#lyssten to my rambles
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They created a strange tableau: rabid boy, trapped girl, bombed-out building. It suggested a tale that could only end in tragedy. Star-crossed lovers meeting their fate. A revenge story turned in on itself. A war saga that took no prisoners.
#coriolanus x lucy gray#snowbaird#tbosasedit#tbosas#the hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#exactly a five min edit to express my undying devotion to a book!version of them#because you know what?? tbosas movie was a properly made thg prequel but it was HOSTILE to coryo x lg shippers#it wasn't wuthering heights enough it wasn't hozier enough it wasn't hadestown enough!!!!!!!#but above all it wasn't BRAVE enough#2k23 cinema is so hesitant when it comes to love stories it's almost revolting#tom blyth worked his heart off for what????? for one tiny kiss where rachel isn't even an active participant?????#where are you 'he kissed her until his lip started to bleed'?????#i hate the erasure of many defining moments and dialogues#i hate they didn't make 'pure as the driven snow' lucy gray's love confession to her murderous bf#i hate their first kiss was ruined i hate we didn't get the reunion they deserved 'YOU FOUND ME' 'YOU KNEW I WOULD'#heartfelt and dubios innocent and calculated meant to be and meant to be apart MY SNAKES AND SONGBIRDS BOTH OF THEM#this film had almost succeeded in wiping out the whole meaning of their dynamics and I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT#shitty things i do for love
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hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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Following the chilling conclusion of All That's Left's first season, Mac and Layla and their friends find themselves scattered across a divided Los Angeles a year after their successful return to town. Matrix Corp has taken control— "With humanity's best interest in mind"— but with our protagonists' knowledge of Opportunity's destruction and Houston's unexpected fall, they know better than to trust the corporation and its near military-sized security force. Closed district gates separate them from one another and a new threat lurks just outside the city's walls— but resistance is on the rise, and it is only a matter of time before truth comes out. [SEASON ONE HERE]
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;
@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners
#all that's left#edit:misc#nuclearedits#OK HIII here is season two :D i hope you guys like ittt the playlist is very funky just like the one for season one heehee#reblogs encouraged btw!! i love reading your guys' thoughts on stuff like this especially my original stories :^)#the opening theme is so good it works so well. very similar to the first season opening with wouldn't it be nice#wide shot of los angeles from the sky with the closed districts and one district in ruins because they let ghouls in a year back#with the song playing in the background as the camera pans over to show how bad the situation is after like#a little text intro that explains what happened in season one and how they made it back to los angeles safely for their happy ending#but. well. now there's this! and then the title shows in the screen and the song continues playing while you get like#a sequence of random shots from what life inside town is like now that matrix corp has taken control. are you seeing my vision#anyway i have a lot to say about the whole playlist again like with the other one but i won't do that here right now#this season would be fun because it jumps around more between different guys whereas in season one it was all one group#now you get a lot more interesting perspectives and there's additions to the cast and gabriella gets her own storyline#because she's stuck in some neighborhood outside the city walls with like. HUNDREDS of ghouls in slumber#and there's no way for her to get out of there safely. but she's going to try anyway#obviously this is never gonna be an actual tv show but i wish it was. i really wish it was i have so many visuals for it in mind
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Hi hi i think youre completely right about characterization so I wanted to ask if you have any pjsk fic recs? Thank you :3
Oh god you know not what you have done
Primary ruikasa/emunene focus as is expected on ssruis dot tumblr dot com so keep that in mind but there’s a few gen fics on here.
The world offers itself - thrillingwhiteday (In progress) (ruikasa)
Super underrated… the characterization is so good… saki + rui interactions (I cheered). Lives in my head rent free.
You and a Skull’s Flower - Revelry_in_serenity (In progress) (no relationship focus but there are bg relationships)
Pandemonium gang experiences The Horrors. Recommend the author’s other works as well - Supporting Roles/Lasting Embraces/Overwritten are some other ones I really enjoyed - but I’m Very Intrigued by the plot in this one.
Warm - pyrotechpuffs (One shot) (ruikasa)
Also recommend the authors other works but this is a fave.
Soul to Wreck - sleepieash (In progress) (ruikasa)
Literally anything by helloitsaiza or calculatrice. The characterization/writing… chefs kiss… their brains are so massive. Best stuff in the tag. Rewired my brain. However this is a list of fic recs and not author recs so I’ll link some of my favorites:
Roles - helloitsaiza (one shot) (ruikasa)
Eternal sunshine - helloitsaiza (One shot) (emunene)
Special shout-out because Peak Emunene I’m actually obsessed with it.
Confess, Confess - helloitsaiza (In progress) (ruikasa)
Yours - helloitsaiza and calculatrice (one shot) (ruikasa)
Backstage after the curtain call - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)
To sear the sky - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)
A study in performance - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)
Funhouse mirror - calculatrice (in progress) (no relationship focus, wxs & niigo)
Special shout-out because tsukasa + mafuyu body swap is such a galaxy brained idea
Rui’s doki-doki seishun school life - calculatrice (one shot) (ruikasa)
^ read all of these they go so hard 10/10
Because it’s you - sleepy_macchi (one shot) (ruikasa)
Act I of our story - Asteromeda (one shot) (ruikasa)
The show must go on - literallyjustsomeguy (in progress but it’s been like 2 years so it might be abandoned) (ruikasa)
I don’t like recommending stuff that may remain unfinished but I’ll make an exception for very funny tsukasa tenma stupidity moments
X marks the spot - seatrix (in progress) (ruikasa)
Underrated… love the characterization & plot.
Voted most likely to run away with you - eightyeightstars (one shot) (ruikasa)
Sharing is caring - underwaternature (one shot) (ruikasa)
Tête-à-tête - kuiperbelts (one shot) (ruikasa)
Also recommend the authors other works I just really like the tsukasa characterization in this one
All I want (is you) - sorasekai (one shot) (emunene)
Recommend their other works as well for good emunene
Ikanaide - gummysaur (finished) (tsukasa focus, gen wxs)
Also recommend their other works but (chefs kiss) tsukasa characterization
Closeness - lyriablackfrost (one shot) (ruikasa)
Find out who you are, and then do it on purpose - weepingstars (transfem rui focus, gen wxs)
And I will still live here - utayoru (one shot) (ruikasa)
Their other works are good as well but this is a fave for the early pjsk days rui characterization
With me all along - jeiseny (one shot) (saki focus, gen)
SAKI… (ugly crying) beautiful exploration of chronic illness. And it doesn’t focus on her fucking brother (staring with homicidal intent @ wider pjsk fanbase). Made me go ouuggh relatable several times.
#obvs recommend the authors in general if they’re on here but specifically mentioned it if I’ve read all their pjsk fics/had to pick a single#one to avoid making the list too much of a pain in the ass to make#asks#mine#saying author and title bc I would not put it past myself to fuck up the links lmao#there are others I’ve read and enjoyed and lost bc I didn’t bookmark#& then there are some that I liked but don’t want to recommend w/out caveats & im not doing that publicly bc I’m not giving unasked for#criticisms on works people spent hours on.#in general though I’m just somewhat picky. & neurotic abt recommending things.#mostly ruikasa recs because (gestures to the state of the pjsk tag)#thankfully like none of these people are on tumblr so I won’t have to die from embarrassment if this is seen 👍🏻#except jay hi jay the saki fic ruined me emotionally how dare you (positive) (complimentary)#there’s also my writing in the my writing tag but I’m not reccomending that shit lmao
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Hii! I have been recently getting more and more obsessed with your art and webcomic and was wondering if I could use your art as like a profile picture? (With credit!!) If not that's perfectly fine! :)
yeah you can use my art for whatever as long as you're not stealing it or selling it
I don't mind if people print my art out for themselves either. I do sell prints, but it doesn't bother me either way
In general I don't post anything that I haven't made my peace with all that comes with sharing my art publicly! So feel free to use it as you please pretty much.
Giving me credit for the things I've made is respectful and helps me in my career, and I would hope that most people intend to respect my work... And the people who don't respect my work were never going to whether I asked or not.
I make my work for other people to enjoy it, I want you to enjoy it!
#I sort of have a general thought process that like.#the main thing of my work is... my comics!#and thats my writing and my drawing and its these huge longform things#that to be quite honest. would be a ton of work to steal LMFAO#but theyre more intrinsically connected to me#knowing the name of the comics and the characters#looking for more. it's me. like it's always gonna come back to me...#But I also in general as a person... I sort of hate the concept of copyright#it plays at the idea of benefitting artists but the intent is to benefit corporations#and artists get screwed out of owning their OWN WORK for the benefit of said corporations...#The things that copyright are meant to protect are things that wouldnt matter if we werent living in CAPITALISM!!!#I wouldnt CARE if someone stole my stuff if I didnt have to worry about potential lost customers#so. I just try to lead my life and my art in ways that reflect my ideals#which is like... yeah go ahead. use it for whatever#I expect you to respect me and if you don't then I know it doesnt matter what I ask for. because it wasnt going to be respected anyways.#if you feel bad taking my stuff or printing it out yourself or whatever you can throw a couple bucks my way#helps me pay the bills lmao#but if you don't its fine. I'll be okay and it won't ruin me.#asks#anon#this isnot me saying yeah go ahead and steal my art LMAO#this is just like yeah as long as you arent saying or implying you made my work#or selling it when I am selling that same thing (stealing my money from me)#then. like. whatever#doesnt affect me negatively at all. I made my art for other people to enjoy it#I want you to enjoy it!
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This may be a strange question but have you ever been bullied in the tbhk fandom? I am having a hard time here
Heya no worries at all for the question! This is an important thing and if you needed to have a place to say it I am happy you did!
I really hope people will be nicer to you :// There is never a good reason for bullying unfortunately it happens a lot on internet QvQ my only advice would be to block those people and/or delete anonymous asks for a while if people are just putting stuff as anonymous :///
To answer your questions, idk if it counts as bullying but I was the target of some stuff like that yep, and tbh I don't really know why. People can have the opinions they want but I will be honest in the tbhk fandom you like a character or a ship that is not 'what everyone in the fandom should like' and people start menacing you for no reason.
A lot of people in this fandom are kids who sometimes don't get what insulting people do. (and not only kids but it is one of the reason, I feel like a lot don't have 'internet basis' like not saying everything about yourself on twitter help.)
Which is also one of the reason I am taking my distances with anyone in this fandom because I had too many unwanted stuff like when I was just trying to be nice and answer messages. It's not because we are in the same fandom that we are bffs.
This is sad to say but yes I don't think you can just have fun 'fun' in this fandom anymore, people will make sure you have a hard time for no reason and honestly I am tired of people who are unable to understand that we aren't just bots on the internet and that Surprise! people have feelings wow
I hope you will be better but don't hesitate to take some time off the fandom a bit ^^ I am being overly dramatic here because I had some bad experiences (I've been in the fandom since the start of 2020 so welp) but a lot of people are really nice and I am sure you can make some friends too ^^ (I did too! even if a lot aren't in the fandom anymore, it's nice seeing mutuals from far away doing their lives)
#I am so sorry for the wait on this ask#I really hope you have a better time now Anon#(and once again bullying is not okay#but there is a difference with people just living their lives and people who are straigth up creeps)#(I shouldn't have to mention basics stuff to anyone to understand that being an asshole is not gonna solve anything)#asks#tbhk#kind of a bad/sad topic but an important one I think#I say that kids are the ones who insult the most but I will be honest my main problem was with someone who was one year older than me lol#anyways this is my experience once again but I am sad to see that some people are being treated poorly ://#I honestly just stopped being active when it happened and honestly I would understand if you have this reaction too#and last but not least#don't let the fandom ruin the og work for you#because it happened way too much for me personnaly and that just makes me sad#(eg: I adore witch hat atelier but I am seeing some stuff from far away and I REALLY don't wanna interact with the fandom#I love this manga too much to be disgusted by it because of the fandom)#this is a lil bit salty but welp no one here should be surprised to see that I don't really like the fandom ahah#And I was a kid on internet once too#I tbh understand at some point to be angry at a lot of stuff and needing a place to talk/to have funB#I never understood the intention of hurting people willingly though#being an asshole and having opinions is different
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haha nooo don't do that virginia haha...😳 *already unbuttoning collar*
#fallen london#flmp#fl virginia#mp#canceling a royal wedding just to annoy her because that's how flirting works in my correct opinion#I'm a big virginia simp but in the way where i want to ruin her life but in a sexy way#the praying mantis hate sex would be incredible and i think my little guy deserves that after all they've been through
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My Stardew Valley character is cute so I sketched her.
#my art#stardew valley#sdv#traditional art#I slapped some light colors on in photoshop#the ironic part is that I only sketched her because I wanted to draw her cute winter hat and forgot#then was too afraid trying to add the hat would ruin it#Also her winter dress should have long sleeves but I can't get that mod to work ;-;#Her hair is messy 100% of the time and probably has straw and leaves stuck in it tbh
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thinking about "you have a life" / "i don't know what i have" + "what do you want, dana?" / "i want everything that i should want at this time of my life" + the perceived shame in scully's loss of normalcy... "unlike you, mulder, i would like to have a life" + "do you believe in the afterlife?" / "i'd settle for a life in this one" + "don't you ever want to just stop? get out of the damn car? settle down and live something approaching a normal life?"
her friend ellen saying, "well, first you have to get a life." tara, pregnant with their christmas gift, saying that life before one grew inside her was "somehow...less, just a prelude," while barren dana cries in the kitchen. "i know you and dad were...disappointed...that i chose the path that i'm on."
thinking about how mulder said, "this is a normal life," and how she smiled. (he doesn't know any different). how, in the end, he said, "hey, scully? i know it's not your normal life, but thanks for coming out there with me."
(christmas before quantico, "i guess i'm afraid of making a big mistake. dad thinks i am." and missy's response: "it's not his life, dana.")
her application to adopt emily was rejected: "you're a single woman who's never been married or had a long-term relationship. you're in a high stress, time intensive, and dangerous occupation."
bill's reaction: "sounds like something your partner would say. this isn't about any little girl, dana. this is about you. it's about some...void, some emptiness inside you that you're trying to fill."
and mulder to the judge: "the fact that she can adopt this child, her own flesh and blood, is something i don't feel i have the right to question, and i don't believe anyone has the right to stand in the way of."
(that last christmas with missy before everything: "there is no right or wrong. life is just a path...just don't mistake the path for what is really important in life. the people you're going to meet along the way. you don't know who you're going to meet when you join the FBI. you don't know how your life is going to change, or how you're going to change the life of others.")
and ultimately, it all leads to a leather couch. and after contemplating that sacrifice of normalcy, what she should want, the decisions she could have made, she says, "i once considered spending my whole life with this man...what i would have missed."
she could've been a doctor, like her father wanted. she could've settled down, married waterston, had a normal life, like her friends and brother wanted. but what would she have missed?
"what if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong?" / "and all the...choices would then lead to this very moment. one wrong turn, and...we wouldn't be sitting here together."
#i truly believe that what's made this show so lasting and rich to so many generations#is how completely in touch with raw human experience it always was. there was always this kind of bleak undertone of...this is how it is...#and very rarely was it ever overcome or accepted or boldly subverted. it just was.#the pressures and the grief and the traps of abuse and trauma and power structures. this is how it is. this is how it feels.#'people thought the storyline and characters for x-files made it a 'dark' show but i never saw it that way.#i always thought mulder and scully were the light in dark places.'#my favorite quote about the show and why i think it's so comforting. it's the harsh reality of the world#of which mulder and scully are not exempt#but it's also mulder and scully going wherever they are needed with their unending kindness and their perseverance and their passion#and they bring all of those things to each other too. that's why she chose THIS life. despite it NOT being normal.#despite it NOT being what her father wanted for her. despite it NOT being easy. she chooses it over and again#because he is bringing light to dark places and she wants to be where he is and she wants to be doing important work. she wants to be#'on the side of the victim'#and that's rarely supported by societal structures and it's hard. but like she says#what would she have missed??#txf.txt#you people make me crazy when you dismiss her decisions and act like she Ruined Her Life or mulder Ruined Her Life#congratulations! you've missed the point!#all things#emily#dreamland
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