#thankfully like none of these people are on tumblr so I won’t have to die from embarrassment if this is seen 👍🏻

[ssruis]

Hi hi i think youre completely right about characterization so I wanted to ask if you have any pjsk fic recs? Thank you :3

Oh god you know not what you have done

Primary ruikasa/emunene focus as is expected on ssruis dot tumblr dot com so keep that in mind but there’s a few gen fics on here.

The world offers itself - thrillingwhiteday (In progress) (ruikasa)

Super underrated… the characterization is so good… saki + rui interactions (I cheered). Lives in my head rent free.

You and a Skull’s Flower - Revelry_in_serenity (In progress) (no relationship focus but there are bg relationships)

Pandemonium gang experiences The Horrors. Recommend the author’s other works as well - Supporting Roles/Lasting Embraces/Overwritten are some other ones I really enjoyed - but I’m Very Intrigued by the plot in this one.

Warm - pyrotechpuffs (One shot) (ruikasa)

Also recommend the authors other works but this is a fave.

Soul to Wreck - sleepieash (In progress) (ruikasa)

Literally anything by helloitsaiza or calculatrice. The characterization/writing… chefs kiss… their brains are so massive. Best stuff in the tag. Rewired my brain. However this is a list of fic recs and not author recs so I’ll link some of my favorites:

Roles - helloitsaiza (one shot) (ruikasa)

Eternal sunshine - helloitsaiza (One shot) (emunene)

Special shout-out because Peak Emunene I’m actually obsessed with it.

Confess, Confess - helloitsaiza (In progress) (ruikasa)

Yours - helloitsaiza and calculatrice (one shot) (ruikasa)

Backstage after the curtain call - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)

To sear the sky - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)

A study in performance - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)

Funhouse mirror - calculatrice (in progress) (no relationship focus, wxs & niigo)

Special shout-out because tsukasa + mafuyu body swap is such a galaxy brained idea

Rui’s doki-doki seishun school life - calculatrice (one shot) (ruikasa)

^ read all of these they go so hard 10/10

Because it’s you - sleepy_macchi (one shot) (ruikasa)

Act I of our story - Asteromeda (one shot) (ruikasa)

The show must go on - literallyjustsomeguy (in progress but it’s been like 2 years so it might be abandoned) (ruikasa)

I don’t like recommending stuff that may remain unfinished but I’ll make an exception for very funny tsukasa tenma stupidity moments

X marks the spot - seatrix (in progress) (ruikasa)

Underrated… love the characterization & plot.

Voted most likely to run away with you - eightyeightstars (one shot) (ruikasa)

Sharing is caring - underwaternature (one shot) (ruikasa)

Tête-à-tête - kuiperbelts (one shot) (ruikasa)

Also recommend the authors other works I just really like the tsukasa characterization in this one

All I want (is you) - sorasekai (one shot) (emunene)

Recommend their other works as well for good emunene

Ikanaide - gummysaur (finished) (tsukasa focus, gen wxs)

Also recommend their other works but (chefs kiss) tsukasa characterization

Closeness - lyriablackfrost (one shot) (ruikasa)

Find out who you are, and then do it on purpose - weepingstars (transfem rui focus, gen wxs)

And I will still live here - utayoru (one shot) (ruikasa)

Their other works are good as well but this is a fave for the early pjsk days rui characterization

With me all along - jeiseny (one shot) (saki focus, gen)

SAKI… (ugly crying) beautiful exploration of chronic illness. And it doesn’t focus on her fucking brother (staring with homicidal intent @ wider pjsk fanbase). Made me go ouuggh relatable several times.

[martyfromgiant]

like many, a league of their own has become my new hyperfixation and obsession (bc how could it not) but whenever i get attached to a show like this, it fills some sort of void within me by giving new representation, but for some reason leaves another behind.

aloto was amazing in that it was a new kind of representation we have never gotten before, so many queer leads, black queer and trans rep, a story told by and for queer people, relationships we deserved and didn’t have to wait a whole season for. i could talk about it all day long, about how groundbreaking this show is, about how much it means to me, and dreaming of possibilities and stories to be explored in a new season.

thankfully with aloto, there wasn’t a soul crushing ending. people were happy, max and esther were living their dream, carson and greta ended on a beautiful, bittersweet note. yes charlie saw it but doors were left open. no one died, no one got sent away. with queer people writing the show, i can’t imagine carson being put away, i imagine she leaves charlie if he doesn’t accept her (as i’ve seen in a lot of fan fics that i wholeheartedly agree with).

this contrasts endings like killing eve and the haunting of bly manor, but for some reason, a hole is still left. after killing eve and the haunting of bly manor, i felt empty and sad and cried my eyes out. it felt like i lost a piece of me seeing someone that represented a part of me dying and seeing the aftermath. there was none of that with aloto. the ending made me happy, people were happy, they formed so many beautiful relationships and the ending felt right.

i genuinely don’t know why i feel the way i do. am i sad i have to wait so long to see the characters again? am i sad i don’t have a support system and connection to my community like so many of the queer characters in the show did? am i jealous? am i mourning the fact that i won’t see more of this and that it wasn’t actually someone’s real life i saw play out in front of me? am i sad i’m not a part of the world? i mean it was fucking 1943 with the war and homophobia running high? i genuinely don’t know. what is happening to me??? i’m so confused.

it doesn’t help that i have no one in my life that strongly relates to me. sadly the population of lesbians my age in my suburban town is small. very very small. no one else seems to want to talk about these issues, talk about the new queer media and everything about it. my life in my queerness is not close to the worst it could be by any means. i have accepting family and friends and i’m in an area that is more or less accepting. sure i come across a few assholes but who doesn’t? but no one my age wants to spend hours and hours talking about aloto and killing eve and other groundbreaking queer media. the losses i feel when my beloved characters die, i face alone. i can scroll through tik tok and twitter and tumblr but it’s not the same as talking to someone about everything. someone my age who has the same interests i do. sure i don’t experience homophobia but not having fellow queer people and lesbians who want to dive into these worlds is so difficult. tumblr has become my only real connection to people like me who could talk about these little gay shows for hours and hours. a place where i can share my feelings and be passionate without a fear of judgement from the people around me. it’s nice to know other people get obsessed like i do. it doesn’t change the fact, however, that i have no tangible connection to my lesbian identity where other people feel the same as i do (don’t get me started on how much of a pain ass it has made dating). so i resort to pouring my head and soul out on this platforms in my silly little blog posts feeling my heart explode with each like, comment, and reblog i get, showing someone out there feels the way i do. there’s truly nothing like it and makes my obsession and passion feel a little more validated and my connection to the queer community a little stronger.

[havenoffandoms]

hi it's me again!! can you do "“I can’t believe I’m sitting in a dungeon with you of all people.” with geralt and reader? tysm i love ur writing so much

I can’t express just how happy I am that you’re requesting all these prompts! <3 This is not me procrastinating, and writing out these requests instead of my WIPs, or you know, actual uni work. This fill is a bit longer, just because I got inspired! I started this prompt thinking it would turn out funny and light-hearted, but my brain took a different turn. The second prompt you requested will be nothing but softness.

Prompt: “I can’t believe I’m sitting in a dungeon with you of all people.”

Warnings: This is on the angsty side, considered yourselves warned. 

Tumblr Request Masterlist “I can’t believe I’m sitting in a dungeon with you of all people,” you declare, rather dramatically, while glaring at your cell companion. Jaskier offers a sheepish smile in return, then startles when he feels something quick and furry brush past his wrist. 

“Oh, don’t be like that, Y/N. Besides, Geralt is probably already on his way to save us, you know just how much our dear witcher likes to play the part of the knight in shining armour.”

You pull your knees closer to your chest and shoo away the stray rats nibbling at the sole of your shoes. You want to believe Jaskier’s words, you really do, but you’ve been stuck in this cell for… how long has it been, anyway? It’s hard to tell without any windows, making it impossible to assess with certainty what time of day it is. It’s been too long regardless, especially when you and Jaskier didn’t do anything that would justify throwing you in a cell, your only crime being your association with Geralt of Rivia. 

Your heart tightens at the thought. Whatever information these men wish to pull out of you, you decide that you’ll rather die than reveal anything about Geralt. And you know that Jaskier feels the same way about his long-time friend. 

“I don’t know, Jaskier. What if… what if he doesn’t?” 

“Now, now. None of that.” Jaskier moves until his arm is pressed against yours and he’s able to grab a hold of your hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “If there’s anything I know for certain about my dear friend Geralt, it’s that he would never, ever, leave his friends stranded.”

“What if he doesn’t know that we’re in this cell?” you insist, your voice trembling with barely restrained panic, “what if he decides that we’re not worth the trouble? He needs to protect Ciri, so he might not come, and these men could ki-”

“Hey, Y/N, look at me,” Jaskier urges you to face him by tugging at your hand. You can’t hide the tears welling up in your eyes as you let fear take over. Jaskier offers a reassuring smile, despite the current circumstances, and you take comfort in the familiarity of his presence. “Breathe, alright? Panicking won’t help us. Have a little faith. Geralt cares about us. He cares about you. He’ll come, don’t worry.” 

Jaskier rests his forehead against yours affectionately, and for the briefest of moments, you allow yourself to believe that Geralt will indeed come and save the day.

___________

You’re suddenly jostled awake when you hear commotion just outside your and Jaskier’s cell. The bard is still pressed against you, though this time he looks a lot less confident than he did earlier when he was comforting you. You hear a loud crash, the sound of steel clashing against steel, then a pained scream followed by muffled gurgling. Something big and heavy crashes against your cell door, causing it to rattle precariously in its hinges. You hide your face in Jaskier’s chest and feel pull you closer to him, trying to protect you from whatever is happening outside despite the fact that he’s clearly as terrified as you are. The commotion goes on for another short couple of minutes which feel like hours to you and Jaskier. Finally, you hear the familiar sound of a sword being sheathed before someone unlocks your cell door. You don’t dare look up from the relative safety of Jaskier’s embrace, pinching your eyes shut as you expect the worst. 

“Geralt, my friend!” Jaskier lets out a startled laugh, ringing bright with mirth and evident relief at the sight of their saviour. He gently pulls you away from him, forcing you to look at him. “I told you, Y/N. I told you he’d come for us.” 

“Y/N,” you hear the rough baritone of Geralt’s voice call out for you, though there is an urgency in his tone that you’re not used to from him. You eventually peel away from Jaskier and turn to face Geralt. He’s covered in blood - though most of it probably not his own, you remind yourself to keep yourself from spiralling. You barely bite back a startled yelp when you take in the sight of his face; his eyes are still mostly black, a side-effect from the witcher potions he likely consumed before stepping into the dungeon to your and Jaskier’s rescue, and the dark sinewy veins contrast against his far too pale skin.

“Geralt? You… you came,” you breathe out, your tone halfway between reverend and horrified, “I… I’m sorry you had to… I’m sorry…”

You don’t notice the tears trailing down your cheeks until you hear Geralt’s sharp intake of breath. In the blink of an eye, thanks to the superhuman speed the potions grant him, he’s kneeling by your side, cupping your face in his hands and thumbing away the fresh wave of relieved tears. A sob pushes past your lips when you finally collapse against Geralt, the firmness of his chest as familiar as the sound of his voice by now. Your witcher pulls you impossibly closer and wraps you up in a tight embrace, whispering sweet reassuring nothings into your ear. 

“Don’t be sorry, dove. I’m here, you’re safe. Not goin’ anywhere, either. Shh, you’re alright…”

“I hate to ruin this heartfelt reunion,” Jaskier’s soft voice suddenly interrupts the moment, and you can sense the underlying urgency in his tone, “truly, this has the potential to become my next big hit, but we really should be getting out of here. It won’t be long before reinforcement comes our way…”

“Jaskier’s right,” Geralt rises to his feet and pulls you up despite your yelp of protest, “are either of you hurt?”

“No,” you manage to answer before wiping the last of your tears, willing yourself to keep it together a little while longer, “let’s go, the quicker we’re out of here the better.”

__________

You’re exhausted by the time you reach camp. Jaskier is happily chatting away about his newest ballad, like he and you did not just spend the gods know how long in a prison cell. You don’t understand how the bard does, how he manages to pretend like nothing happened when you’re still twitchy and trembling. Geralt ignores Jaskier’s ranting for the most part, too focused on making sure you’re fine. He helps you dismount Roach by offering his hand for support, though when you slide off the saddle, you all but slump limply into his arms. 

“Talk to me, dove,” he whispers to you, low enough so as to not draw Jaskier’s attention, “are you sure you’re not hurt?”

“Yes, Geralt.” You offer what you hope is a reassuring smile, but judging by the frown your efforts are met with, you’re unable to convince your love, “I’m just tired. And still a bit shaken.”

“I’ll get a fire going. Sit down, have a rest.”

“Oh, and by the way, Geralt,” Jaskier saunters over to where you and Geralt are standing, “you’ll have to tell me how you managed to bypass all these guards, and don’t be stingy on the details.”

“Not now, Jaskier,” Geralt grouses, still not letting go of you, “if you want to show your gratitude, get a fire going.”

Jaskier shoots you a concerned look, but he thankfully doesn’t press you as he goes to do as Geralt requested. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you sink deeper into Geralt’s embrace. You let his familiar scent wash over you in calming waves as he gently drags you down to his bedroll. You vaguely feel Geralt pull away from you and wrap a warm blanket around your shoulders, tucking you in snugly before pulling you to him once again. Your eyes flutter shut as you finally allow yourself to come down from your high. 

“I was so worried about you,” you hear Geralt mumble against your hair, before pressing a firm kiss to the crown of your head, “thought I’d gotten there too late to save you.” 

“You didn’t. You saved us, and that’s what matters.” You crane your neck as much as you’re able to capture Geralt’s lips in a tender kiss. “I’m just glad you came when you did.”

“As am I, dove.”

This time, the smile you flash him reflects nothing but genuine love and gratitude. You fall asleep in his arms, confident that he’ll watch over you and keep you safe. 

[seijuurouxryuu]

apart as we may, i still feel you here

Title: apart as we may, i still feel you here Author: Shiro (TeitoxAkashi [AO3]/ seijuurouxryuu [tumblr]) Rating: T Pairing: Fon/ Reborn; brief Byakuran/Rokudo Mukuro Event: @khrrarepairweek Prompts: Alpha/Beta/Omega AU | Mental Bond/Mental Link Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warning

Day 8: Earth/Flameless Day

Fon was a beta through and through despite looking like an alpha. He, in his lithe yet muscular body, had always been mistaken as an alpha throughout his years since childhood. His parents expected him to be an alpha, his grandparents expected him to be an alpha, heck even his neighbours expected him to be an alpha.

He never felt like an alpha though, not even before he was classified as a beta. He just felt normal. Like a normal person with blood flowing through his veins.

So no, he never identified himself as anything else but a human--a beta.

AO3

Being a beta wasn't hard; you wouldn't have to undergo a rut like an alpha would, or a heat like an omega would regularly. It was normal, as normal as it can be.

But it can be hard for a beta to survive in the society full of dominance by Alphas and Omega.

 Fon was a beta through and through despite looking like an alpha. He, in his lithe yet muscular body, had always been mistaken as an alpha throughout his years since childhood. His parents expected him to be an alpha, his grandparents expected him to be an alpha, heck even his neighbours expected him to be an alpha.

 He never felt like an alpha though, not even before he was classified as a beta. He just felt normal. Like a normal person with blood flowing through his veins.

 So no, he never identified himself as anything else but a human--a beta.

 He sighed as he fixed his face mask properly, hat pulled down. People were staring at him again because of his fit and tall stature. He wasn't bragging or anything, but gene was really a joke. He, a beta, had the height and fitness of an alpha, all gained from his hard work and training. And yet a lot of people first thought it was because he was an alpha when he was anything but.

 Maybe he should just put up a sign saying 'I'm a beta' to get people off his back. (A lot of them maybe came for his figure, but 99% of them came because the thought he was an alpha.)

 He didn't have any discrimination against alphas, omegas or even betas like some betas would have complexes about it, he just hated how people thought all the fruit of his hard works were all because of his secondary gender. And they even got it wrong. It was fucking hilarious, if you ask him. And frustrating. God-fucking-damn frustrating.

 Shaking his head, Fon pushed away all the irritation to the back of his mind. He had work to do, even if said work annoys him even further. Tapping his card on the sensor, he pulled the door open, making a beeline to the office as he nodded to the passing students. He was a history lecturer in this... Fancy university that should be sued for capitalism. Honestly, too much money was used on advertisement and not enough was supplied to improve facilities for the students and lecturers. Really, capitalists should die.

 Fon sighed in relief once he safely made it to his office without anyone stopping him. However, when he stepped foot into it, he immediately regretted it.

 The smell of an alpha and omega pheromones was so thick he felt nauseous.

 Thank god for his mask.

 He immediately backed out and pinched the bridge of his nose. Mukuro and Byakuran were at it again. He shared the same office with them for a few years now, and while they were good (questionable) colleagues, god forbid they flirt in front of Fon. They had been going at it since Mukuro started working and Byakuran kept trying to seduce him. Fon rooted for them, but fuck if he had to suffer another day smelling their pheromones, he would lock them up in a room for a week.

 Or just outright end them, whichever comes first.

 He huffed. At least they finally got together. Hopefully they'd learn some decency soon.

 Maybe they won't.

 Fon so kindly locked up the room and messaged Byakuran.

 "I helped you lock the office door. You owe me one :)"

 Fon pulled out his phone to look at the time and paused. No mails, that was normal. He smiled at the background image he had set, stress dissipating. He missed his beloved, even if he had just left home about... An hour ago. An hour too long actually.

 A loud moan reverberated out from the office.

 Fon's smile was gone and he wanted nothing more than snap someone's dick in half.

 He held himself back and did some breathing exercise, turning around and heading straight to the lecture halls. He could tell, it was going to be a damned long day.

 .

 For once, his lectures were quiet. Usually, his students would be engaging, enthusiastically answer his questions and pull him into debates about whether a historical figure was stupid or /stupid/. However, aside from timidly answering him when prompted, none of them spoke much. He would have asked if they were alright, but he wasn't in the mood so it was good news for him.

 Thankfully, with his running short fuse, it was finally his last class of the day. Eager to end it and return home to his beloved, he was even more scary with his smile that said 'Don't Ask'.

 Suddenly, he smelled blood. It wasn't his blood, of course, and neither it was his students’ blood. No, it was more of a psychological thing.

 Fon's mouth snapped shut as he stared blankly into space.

 He 'heard' his beloved grumbles and whimpers.

 When he came back to reality, he was already running out of campus and to his car, books and other stuffs left behind with a quick instructions to the TA, which he didn't even remember what it was.

 In record time, he was in his car and driving home.

 'Love?' He called out in his mind. 'Are you alright?'

 He could still smell blood, but it was faint now. He felt his spouse tensing at the other end of their bond before hearing a sigh.

 'Did you leave.' A statement rather than question.

 Fon stayed quiet.

 'I'm fine.'

 'I'll arrive in 5.'

 'Go back to work, Fon.'

 'No.'

 Another sigh. '... Pick up coffee for me.'

 Fon smiled and made a minute detour.

 .

 When Fon arrived home, he was attacked by an onslaught of pheromones. The one and only he loved and would react to despite being a beta. Breathing in deeply, all the crankiness he brewed throughout the day disappeared without a trace. "I'm home." He announced loudly, toeing off his shoes and rushed in, not even bothered to arrange it properly. It was fine, he had more important thing to attend to.

 Putting the coffee on the coffee table, he looked around and found that his love was nowhere to be found. He followed the trial of smell back to their bedroom. The door was halfway closed, leaving a glimpse of who was inside and their state. Fon took it all in with a fond smile.

 Knocking gently on the door, he softly asked, "Can I come in?"

 He had to stop himself from laughing when a head of messy hair popped out from the neat nest made of their unwashed laundry, cushions, bolsters and pillows. Even the Flareon and Umbreon plushies they had were not spared. It was so cute.

 Reborn gave him a look and grunted. "Yes. Take off your clothes and give me."

 Fon chuckled, walked in and started stripping. He stood outside the nest, handing his clothes for Reborn to examine. He patiently waited for the results outside of the nest, smiling as he watched Reborn scrunitize his clothes.

 "Why does it smell like that marshmallow bastard?" Reborn growled and Fon couldn't help but shuddered. He loved how Reborn cusses.

 "He and Mukuro, well, you know."

 Reborn scoffed. "Should've known that that two horny asses couldn't keep their pants on." He snarked and stuffed those clothes under the pile to erase and replace the smell with his scent. He then turned and squinted at Fon again.

 "Bend down" Fon obediently did as ordered, careful not to overstep the boundaries and bared his neck for Reborn. Reborn leaned in and sniffed purring in possessive delight that no other scent stuck to his neck. In fact, Fon had wiped down his neck with wet wipes when he was buying coffee but Reborn didn't need to know lest he took it differently. (He knew no one touched his neck, not that anyone dared to, but just in case someone else's scent stuck to him.)

 Reborn nosed his neck once and nipped at the permanent mark he made on Fon, causing the latter to shudder again. There was another purr, but it came from Fon himself. Fon loved how Reborn could take ownership of him even if he couldn't do it to Reborn. He loved how he always bit that mark, lapping lovingly at it and kissing them. He loved seeing it in the mirror, loved touching it and feeling it throb faintly.

 He loved just the same that he could mark Reborn again and again since he could only mark temporarily, loved biting into the skin, tasting the blood and Reborn keening at the bites. Fon loved everything about being a beta who fell for a possessive omega.

 Reborn's eyes were golden black when he pulled back, glinting. He shuffled back slightly and let Fon, who was in nothing but his boxers, join him in his nest. "Come in." He said, giving consent to his loved.

 Fon's eyes shone and he carefully stepped over the boundaries, taking care not to accidentally kick down the walls of clothes. He settled in besides Reborn and sighed in relief at the lovely pheromones that surrounded him, making him all relaxed and safe.

 Reborn quickly attached to him burying his face onto the crook of his shoulders, purring louder. Fon wrapped his arms around him and turned slightly to kiss his forehead, joining him in purring. He suddenly laughed. "I think I know why I was so cranky today."

 Reborn made a questioning sound, all but melting into his arms. "Your heat affected me. I could feel it through our bond."

 Reborn bit him. "Sucks to be you, then. I was busy nesting and you had to be away."

 Fon whined, nuzzling against him as he tightened his hold around him. "I thought it is tomorrow, that was why I planned to settle my leaves today."

 "Well, it came early."

 Fon hummed. "I'm glad it came early. I can keep you company longer." He said lowly into Reborn's ears. "Speaking of which, why did I smell your blood just now?"

 He felt Reborn tensing against him and immediately drew comforting patterns on his back, purring louder to comfort him. "I don't mean anything, I'm just a little worried..."

 Reborn slowly relaxed as Fon patiently waited for his answers without rushing him. In fact, if Reborn didn't want to speak of it, he wouldn't force him to say either. "... I accidentally broke a nail."

 A sharp scratch on his chest made Fon hissed softly. He looked down and grabbed the hand, pulling it up to see the broken nail. It was broken, yes, but it wasn't serious thankfully. However, it hurt Fon's heart to see the redness at the edge, feeling the pain even though it wasn't his wound.

 He kissed the finger and cooed. "Oh, baby. It must've been painful." He kissed again.

 Reborn snorted, but by the purrs he sounded happy that Fon was worried about him. "It's nothing. I can take more than this, you know that."

 Fon nodded, rubbing and cuddling him closer. "Uhum, I know. You're the strongest person I ever know, and I'm so happy that you're mine. You worked so hard and surpassed everyone's expectation. You proved everyone wrong about how you aren't limited to anything just because you're an omega, and I'm so proud of you. I love you, Reborn. I love you so, so much." He gave him a few kisses in the mouth before Reborn hummed into his lips and opened his mouth.

 "Hmn, love you too. You aren't an alpha, but you are so much better than one. You don't limit yourself even if you're a beta too, and I'm proud of you too. In fact, I'm so proud that you don't depreciate yourself just because of that." Reborn said into his mouth, slow as they made out.

 Fon laughed and kissed him harder, heart swelling in happiness and love. Reborn bit his lips for laughing but was chuckling himself too.

 "Sleep, babe. I'm sleepy." Reborn nudged his forehead against Fon's. "We can do other things when we wake up."

 Fon agreed, kissing his nose and eyelids. "Okay, sweet dreams, love."

  Reborn purred.

--------------------------------

A/N: LAST DAY!!! THANK YOU TO THE MODS OF KHR RAREPAIR WEEK FOR THEIR HARD WORK AND THANKS TO YOU GUYS FOR READING MY STORIES

I missed a day for this year's event, but still!! I managed to do 7!!! Which was beyond my expectation since I was ded because of finals, which clashed with the beginning of this event.

Onto the story! Basically Alphas and Omegas can make permanent mark on anyone else, while Beta can only do temporary ones. I just love the concept of nesting so when I saw Day 8's theme I went bLING

I don't like how some omegaverse stories I have written has this... thing with A and O being the rarest and then most treasured. I like it better if regardless of being A, O or B, everyone is of the same, equal and fair. Of course, some of the laws should cater more for A and O since they have ruts and heats but still? No discrimination.

Although, the discrepancy here is that most O and B still prefers A because, well, genes.

But that's just the background I thought up of; there's no need for that since all you need to know is that Reborn NESTED and Fon LOVED HIM.

Cranky Fon is lovely Fon :DDDD

anyways THANKS FOR READING AGAIN! HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED MY ENTRIES THIS YEAR!!! SEE YOU NEXT TIME

[I apologize for any grammar, spellings, etc. etc. mistakes]

[andyquynhnickyjoebookernile]

The Betrayal

So, I was reading this amazing fic which is death, suspended by BeesKnees in the middle of the night and I was hit with this barrage of epiphanies. Also, before I get into those epiphanies, ��death, suspended’ is an amazing fic that explores the idea of Joe and Nicky having been separated after the van scene. So if that intrigues you definitely check it out.

Anyhow, getting back to why I’m writing this post. I saw “The Old Guard” sometime this week and I know it is a utter tragedy that I don’t remember the date, so in the future I could pinpoint the moment my life changed but since that day I have been in a haze and when it cleared, I went to tumblr. I love tumblr, just going through the huge number of posts on the movie and especially Joe x Nicky has been the best part of the last two days. But, as I digged deeper I eventually got to the Booker discourse and Joe.

Truthfully, after having seen the movie, I would have been totally okay if they went along with Nile on Booker’s punishment because I got where he was coming from and I truly believed it wasn’t a malicious intent, it was self-serving but it wasn’t outright cruel but now, I’m rethinking that.

Let’s start with Nile. Nile was the one who was ready to forgive Booker immediately after and I realized this was because Booker didn’t betray her. Whenever Booker came up with this plan he didn’t account for Nile. Nile was a happy accident and she did get caught up in the fallout but she wasn’t the one being betrayed therefore, she was judging Booker on her own interactions with him which had been pretty good and even till the very end, I felt like if Nile had slipped away she could have escaped getting caught and being made into a lab rat. So, it makes sense that she is the most forgiving of this crime that wasn’t perpetrated against her.

But, Booker did make his plans fully aware of the fact that he would be betraying Andy, Joe and Nicky and they should be the ones to judge his actions because they are the ones most affected by it.

And, this is when I realized that irrespective of how desperate and depressed he had become, he was fully aware of how cruel his actions would be especially towards Joe and Nicky.

For a moment, I truly believe that he thought that Andy could possibly see his side of things. I feel like he really believed she would get where he was coming from and maybe even agree to his proposition for finding a cure to the immortal condition but that is something Joe and Nicky would never agree to.

For, Joe and Nicky immortality has been the biggest boon, it is the reason they found each other and centuries of happiness. I don’t believe either of them would chose mortality, if it really was their choice, anytime soon so they could never agree to Booker’s plan and Booker knows it.

Therefore, instead of convincing them and I believe he had a good chance of convincing Andy, he dupes them. And the moment he turns to outside forces, the more likelier it becomes that none of them can escape the fallout of his actions and decisions.

I briefly considered the fact that he was trading in the secret to immortality for a cure for himself and therefore he might have believed that Andy, Joe and Nicky could probably get out of this trial with their immortality and their lives intact. But, the more I think about it the more this line of reasoning falls through.

If this idea was something he had brought up to the other three, I feel like it would have been rejected, because Joe and Nicky don’t want a cure to immortality and they truly don’t believe that science can find a way to replicate it. Andy has the benefit of understanding both point of views, she gets why Joe and Nicky don’t want to get involved and why Booker does, so it’s anyone’s idea what her decision would have been. But, one thing the movie makes clear is that it isn’t Andy making the decision, it’s all of them and they all take equal responsibility for the decision they make as a team. In such a dynamic, Booker definitely wasn’t going to get his way of things.

So he looks outside for help and he finds it, he sets up the deal and his prize for honouring it. Logistically, anyone looking to help him through the scientific method would require all subjects because that way you can isolate the anomalies each individual might have and then cross-reference them to find the common ones making it easier to pinpoint the source of their immortality. So, to any outside presence it becomes vital that they get their hands on all four of the immortals they are aware of. Therefore, Booker essentially bargains three lives for want of one. This also works the other way around, finding a cure means finding multiple subjects to test it on and after animal trials you eventually do have to test it on humans and knowing all this, there is a very limited chance that any of them would have survived the fallout especially given the moral compass of the people in charge of this endeavour. Also, we have no idea what they might have looked at, one abject possibility is making them die of different causes to find out what brings them back and what doesn’t to find the answer to both questions.

This seems like a nightmare from anyone’s perspective, it’s already very clear that Joe and Nicky are horrified of dying and leaving the other behind and even more terrified of being the one left behind. To witness your loved one getting tortured or even being aware of the fact and not knowing when they won’t wake up multiplied with the uncertainty of them ever escaping this nightmare, is already horrific without taking into account the fact that they are also going to be aware of the same happening to Andy and possibly even Booker, makes it even worse.

And, maybe Booker really hasn’t thought this far ahead and he really believes they make it out, each with what they want, it still means that in doing this he was fully aware of the fact that the team wouldn’t agree as a whole and instead of living with this he decides to take their choice away.

I also wonder if Booker was to some extent motivated by jealousy because truthfully there doesn’t seem to be anything countering this particular point.

Which brings me full circle, to the fact that Booker’s betrayal is extremely pointed towards Joe and Nicky, they are the victims here and unfortunately the story makes them suffer the most for it as all. So, now I get why they can’t and why they won’t and truthfully why they shouldn’t let Booker off the hook.

Interestingly the only reason, I feel like Andy isn’t equally incensed as Joe and Nicky even though she has had her choice taken away just as much as they have, and this betrayal has been fully against her as well even though thankfully, she doesn’t have to suffer through it as much, is because she invariably gets everything she wants. She gets back her purpose for life through Nile and she now has an expiration date for it as well. She manages to come out of this ordeal better as a great testimony to who she is.

Also, for someone who seems to have lost her faith in humanity seemingly fairly recently, you also can’t discount how many chances she has given it. She is over six thousand years old and she seems to have managed to look at the very worst of humanity, has died because of it countless times and she can still at the end of the die find her way back to humanity. That just gives you an idea of her calibre for forgiveness because I have been on this Earth for some two decades and I haven’t remotely witnessed the worst of humanity and I’m still disillusioned by it. I mean I totally get why Andy was able to face and hug Booker at the end of it. She was also the best person to talk to him about it because she can see both sides of the coin and now having had her faith and purpose in life restored she can still look forward to it even knowing that she now has an out.

Also, faintly I wonder if Booker wasn’t actually horrified by what mortality would mean once he is faced with the fact that he could be the reason Andy dies, like I feel like that moment jolted him out of his head space and actually made him face what the consequences of his actions looked like. I even wonder if Booker was just skeptical about what Andy was telling them about Lykon until this point, given that she is the only witness to the event that he knows of, which now makes incredible sense. Having Andy turn mortal means that Booker has to realize that the fear that Joe, Andy and Nicky have is real and something that he should have also feared that their immortality and their life wouldn’t jump back into their lap every time and that there would be one final time to it. The very fear that have we have seen manifested in Andy and Joe’s eyes towards Booker and Nicky’s deaths respectively.

This definitely turned out way longer than expected and I unexpectedly ended up answering a question I didn’t even know I was trying to answer - why Andy turns mortal in a divergence from the comic canon?

[thirstythylacine]

Stress Relief

Alright. This damn band and fandom has got the best of me finally.

Haven't written in over 10 years. Definitely never written smut before.

I've given in! There are pages and pages of smut notes in my journals, phone, and computer so I guess this is my new hobby in quarantine.

Relatively unedited so apologies there. 

Yell at me here, or yell at me on AO3 under the same name. 

Also I have a very limited knowledge of how the hell this cursed site works despite being on it for most of its existence. So if there's shit I didn't tag correct here let me know.

Also Tumblr apparently hates making the italicized bits appear here so I’ll reblog this in a sec with the AO3 link if you, like me, really like seeing the emphasis :)

I am otherwise too lazy currently to figure it out or fix it and I’m already reposting this since Tumblr also apparently hates outside links! Thanks Hell Site. 

STRESS RELIEF

He’s been working on this project for a week straight and as usual it’s cutting into personal hours. Though that doesn’t faze him, scribbling notes in the margin of this current translation and completely forgetting to call for dinner. It’s 10:30 at night and I’ve brought him ever meal today as well as coffee multiple times. At this point it’s half just so I can make sure he’s still awake and breathing.

His dinner looks untouched and he’s got ink on his cheek. I don’t even think he noticed me come in until I was right behind his chair with my hands on his shoulders. He only startles a bit and I lean forward to peek at his progress. “You’ve gotten far today” I note, “Though dinner was over two hours ago you know.”

He sighs sitting back against me. “I know Tesoro, I know. This one is just.....very difficult. And she wants it earlier than the rest.” He drops the pen and stretches his fingers. “If I can get this one to her before Friday I think we can have a few days off finally.”

It would be a relief for us both to have a few days off. He squirms as I press at the knots in his shoulder.

"I will literally stand guard outside this office to fend people off if it will help. I was starting to think I might have to tie you up somewhere to keep you from coming into the office this weekend.” He breathes in sharply once and there's a moment of stillness before he’s laughing quietly. Interesting.

I’m solidly around the front side of his desk before I notice the flush on his face. Double interesting.

The last paper in front of him has been moved aside in favor of the dinner plate. He’s frowning at it. The dish isn’t one that would be particularly appetizing cold. “I think......perhaps a trip to the kitchen might serve us better?” I offer. “You can find something better than that and I can find something for desert. I think Papa mentioned there was pie tonight.”

Pie makes a good dinner.” He says with a quirk of the eyebrow. Problem solved.

———

“Hey!” I gasp as his teeth scrape down my neck. “Hey, I told you, none of that tonight. I have a ton of important meetings tomorrow. You know, the kind with people from Outside This Church whom I need to view me as respectable, buddy.” He isn't looking at me but growls a little against my skin.

I tangle my hands in his hair and tug sharply back to meet his wild eyes with mine. “No biting.” “You’re gonna have to save those hickeys for tomorrow, Cardinal...”

He’s adorably huffy about it but also doesn’t falter as he ruts against me. His hips grind sharply into my thighs, pressing me hard down into the cushions of his couch. His arms have me caged in below him and he rests his forehead against mine with a low moan.

At some point we’ll have to decide if we’re moving to a bed, or at least stopping long enough to take off literally any clothing instead of writhing on the furniture like teenagers. It’s so good this way though.

I came by to drop off the last few papers for him to finish and somehow convinced him they could be done in the morning. I meant to also convince him to come have another late dinner in the kitchens but he's in a mood and I can't complain. Having him over me, desperate and needy is better than any drug. I busy myself with the buttons on his jacket and shirt, impatient to get my hands into his chest hair. He hums as I run my fingers through it, and lower. His mouth is at my ear, his nose in my hair. I tug at his belt as he arches over me.

“We should go go to bed” he whispers “we should go to bed so I can fuck you into the weekend. I want to wrap you around me and make you cum until you can’t remember your name”. The words coming out of his mouth are getting deep and breathy. That voice.

Even his perfectly normal, reasonable Latin lectures make me want to get on my knees for him. I'm pretty certain the whole class feels that way. Technically, I know I’m not the only one he sleeps with either but recently I seem to have lucked out.

“You can’t” I growl back as he presses me down. “As much as I’d love to have you buried in me from now until Sunday, you still have 'homework' for tomorrow and I.... I can’t bag out of my important meetings. Sister will literally have me murdered if I leave her alone with those delegates.”

He moans low and deep grabbing at my thigh to pull me further under him, tighter against him. We press back and forth rocking against each other and making out. He’s driving against me over and over in a way that will have me undone very shortly. I have to bury my face in his shoulder to keep my whimpers quiet. Office hours are over but the door isn’t locked and Ghouls have a way of showing up when shit is about to get good.

I'm starting to lose it. “Please, Copia, please, pleaseplease” I beg. He grinds into me slower and slower pressing closer and longer and I think I could die from needing to cum. His breath is in my ear choppy and hot. Little wines, murmurs spilling from his mouth as he gets closer to the edge.

My body arcs up against him, my hands trapped against his chest as an orgasm washes over me. Head thrown back into the cushion I cry out when he sucks at the skin at my collar. I’m gasping as I come down. And then I realize.

Yanking my hands from between us to grab at his head. “COPIA, Satanus! What the fuck did I just say!” He’s a bit of a mess this close to an orgasm and only whines at me when I scold him. His rhythm is getting lost now and though I'm mildly pissed about the bite, I don’t think there’s a better time to test my new interesting theory than now.

I wind the fingers of my left hand tight into his hair and grab harshly at his hips with my right. “Bite me again and see what happens Cardinal. Don’t make me tie you down next time.”

He comes hard. Face buried in my collarbone despite my hard grip on his hair. He’s arched so hard into me I think I’ll be feeling it well into next week. We collapse slowly into the couch. It’s hot and sweaty not to mention the utter mess he's just made. Whatever. He must own 20 pairs of those black pants anyways.

I stroke his hair and laugh softly into it as he tries to regain some steadiness of breath. “Well then, Cardinal.” I arch my eyebrow at him and he's absolutely blushing. He won't quite make eye contact and I can't keep this crooked smirk off my face. He buries his face back against me and grumbles “Maybe time for a real dinner, Tesoro?” as the office door opens. A silver face peeks through, checking the desk and then turning to see us tangled on the couch. “Oh! Sorry, boss. Just, uh, making sure the, uh, lights were off in here. Yeah.” “But um, never mind if you’re still in here working!” The voice fades as the face retreats quickly.

Copia makes a tired sound. “Ghouls.”

———

The free weekend has been axed.

Delegates from the Unitarian Church apparently liked our pitch enough that they decided to hang around for a few days and view the abbey in it’s working state. On the one hand it’s great. Not completely bonkers church allies would be incredibly helpful to us. But I'm mentally tapped out from the socializing. Copia too, has been dragged into the fray. Unlike our Third Papa he can be counted on to treat our guest well without shamelessly flirting with each and every one of them. Unitarian Universalists might not immediately kick a bunch of Satanists out of church club but they still probably view married couples as a little less fair game than Terzo does.

They leave just in time for us to jump right in on the next round of translations. Some books from our archives can only be opened for a few nights a year or a decade. Some can only be opened for a few hours at a time, or only in the perfect humidity, or only by a woman, or a ghoul, or Papa. It’s a particular kind of puzzle game to schedule the translations of these texts. Plus very few people can translate them at all let alone as quickly as the Cardinal.

Imperator schedules, I ferry book and papers. He translates. I return books and papers and organize translations by type and date so we can digitize them later. It’s part of the push to get this church into a modern century. Making an effort to have other church allies is as well. Nihil is totally against it even though his sons are all for it. Or maybe that’s because his sons are all for it.

Everyone is tired. Everyone is busy. The congregation is much bigger than it used to be but still there isn't a lot of down time. We've got a horde of siblings at our disposal to help with all the cleaning, data entry, filing, etc. but someone still needs to steer the ship.

It turns out that managing people is a pain in the ass and regretfully I'm good at it.

Thankfully I still end up spending most of my day filing and organizing piles. It's boring but methodical and leaves me with enough brain space to let my mind rest or wander as it chooses.

I'm deep into sorting notes from the early 30's so we can see if anything matches up with books from that era but my mind has wandered back to the Cardinal's ass in his red pants.

He stepped away from the monstrous paper pile for coffee this morning but two moments later was back leaning across the front of his desk to scribble a note in the margins of whatever he's trying to decipher. It's a very nice ass.

It's been over a week since we've been able to do anything more than snag a kiss between meals, sleep, and work. It's fine, except that it really, really isn't. Stress relief is important. And doing it myself is currently feeling a little subpar when the alternative is so incredibly attractive.

Also. There's this whole other aspect of him that I really want to get another glimpse of. We have been mostly on equal footing or he's been in charge since we've been seeing each other, but I know that's not all there is. Not just because of the way he blushes when I boss him around but also because of that dinner months ago where a wine drunk Terzo whispered in my ear all sorts of things about how delightful and versatile a bed partner Copia is.

I think I want to know all the ways to make him whimper and beg.

Unbeknownst to him, Thursday night we're going to catch a break. Imperator is headed out of town with a few of the Emeritus family for some swearing in of a little sect or two a few cities over. Copia and I have been excused to finish up one really time sensitive book and they're going to be gone for two whole days.

Of course, I know that the book is finished already. He did the last bit around 2am and I just couldn't bring myself tell her in case she decided to dump another stack on us as she walked out the door. Two days isn't enough for a real vacation but it's definitely enough for a little rest and stress relief.

______

I feel like I'm laying a trap. Getting us out of work, convincing him to come back to his rooms to change for dinner.

There's a tiny unmarked bottle of lube tucked on the hallway table next to the Baphomet statue where he hangs his keys. Normally he never looks at that table, just drops his keys across it, puts his hat on Baphomet's head, and comes to collapse on the couch or bed.

There he is though, looking at the bottle curiously, fingers starting to unbutton the top of his jacket unconsciously as his brow creases. I have to move fast. I walk up and my hands take over for his. Unbuttoning the jacket and pushing it back over his shoulders but not taking it off of him. I push at his chest gently until he steps back all the way against the heavy wood door.

"Tesoro, I... " He looks down at my face as I'm unbuttoning his shirt. My hands work downwards and I see as he completely forgets about the bottle. "Hello there" he says with a smile and slides his hands into my hair to turn my face up towards him. I get an arched eyebrow, a little half smile, and then, a little hitched breath as I tug open his belt.

I lean in to rub my nose under his jaw and breathe him in. His arms come up to pull me close and I can feel the rumble in his chest. We stand for a moment in peace, enjoying the closeness before I tug his hands down to lay flat against the door. "Keep them there, alright?" I whisper in his ear.

He breathes out an unsteady yes while I lay kisses down his neck. His trousers are undone and he hums through his teeth as I take him out and stroke him. Lightly over and over. Teasing gently. His head is back with eyes closed which is perfect.

When I ease my lube slick hand down his dick his whole body jolts and his eyes fly open to stare at me. "Oh! Ohhh...." Hands tight against the door his hips push forward into my hand and he screws his eyes closed again as I stroke him a second time.

"F...uck. Oh. Fuck. Tesoro..." he whimpers and the sound strikes deeply hot at the center of me.

I keep my touch firm but slow. A steady torcherous pace. I wonder how long I can keep him here. Trapped between my body and the door, gasping and moaning as I tease him higher and higher.

I want to talk to him but I'm a little afraid this will end too soon if I do so I settle for brushing my lips across his, across his face, against his sideburns until he's begging. "Tesoro, pleeease. PPlease. Ah. Ah. Oh, lord, Tesoro. I need....ah, please."

His face is plastered to my neck and I dig my free hand into his hair to hold him there. He hasn't moved his hands an inch though I see them tremble and grasp.

"You're doing so well, yeah?" I whisper. "You sounds so good like this. I love it. I love hearing how badly you need this." I can feel his knees knock a little as I speak to him. "I've been thinking about this for weeks. Making you come undone for me like this. Did you think I hadn't noticed how pink you get when I tell you what to do?"

"Ah, Satanus. Por favor...." he wines. "por favor....." His hips are trying to press forward, but I've got him tight against the door. I up the pace of my strokes until he can hardly speak. Low gasps and whimpers escape him as I bring him higher.

"Are you close love? I need you to tell me when you're close. I want you to tell me when you’re going to cum." That pulls a little wail from him and he gasps, crushing his face deeper into my neck. "Oh, Santanus. Oh, Lucifer. "

"You gonna beg me, sweetheart?" I husk in his ear. "Come on. Say please?"

He doesn't manage it, curling tight over my body as he comes. His arms forget the door to crush me against him. Fingers grip my back and shoulder so hard it almost hurts and I can hear his breath stop completely for a moment. I let him hold me, pressing myself tight up against him, toes to head.

It hardly feels like he is going to stand on his own so I just clean him up with a conveniently located cloth and pepper his face with little kisses. I brush the damp hairs back from his brow and when he lifts his eyes to mine he still flushes a even brighter red.

I must look entirely too pleased with myself because he quickly closes them again and lets his head fall back against the door with a solid "thunk."

"Fuck", he breathes, "I...ah, just.....Fuck."

I am pleased with myself. Humming softly I tuck him back into his trousers and pull the edges of his collar down so I can kiss him long and hard before patting his chest and moving away back into his rooms. He doesn't follow me and I look back to see him still leaning against the door staring.

"Dinner?" I ask with a bright innocent smile.

He growls with narrowed eyes and launches himself into the room. Shrieking with laughter I race to the other side of his couch. "Come here..." he murmurs. And when I don't move he crooks a finger at me. "Topolino. Come on. Come. Here. "

It's so goddamn hot. I want to.

But.

"Make me." It's impossible to keep a grin off my face knowing that the whole wing of this abbey is definitely going to hear about when he catches me. I have the advantage of steady feet, but his eyes are dark and his smile dangerous.

I am super, super fucked.

[ktheist]

FROM THIS POST

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

i do! it wasn't always like this before buy i'm glad my relationship with them improved <3

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

me mom bc i luv her

03: Do you regret anything?

my wasted potential oof

04: Are you insecure?

who isn't?

05: What is your relationship status?

i'm taken!! by meeeeeee!!!

06: How do you want to die?

in my sleep because i won't notice i'm dying - or will i realize i died when i wake up? oof

07: What did you last eat?

a popia, i think it's a traditional food here.

08: Played any sports?

breathing is a sports

09: Do you bite your nails?

thankfully, no!

10: When was your last physical fight?

been a long while, last fight i remember is wrestling the tv remote from my bro and we were like kids and i'm old now ):

11: Do you like someone?

like someone i can potentially get or someone i can never? min yoongi and jeon jungkook ):

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

oof i don't think so but i might once i get desperate enough to take some adderall

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

at first i thought i don't but now that i really think about it, there's this one dude who, every time i think about him, makes me wanna puke bc of his shit hygiene and we got preeeeetty close at some point

14: Do you miss someone?

nopee

15: Have any pets?

my demons uwu

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

as of 15th dec, ya girl is tideeeee

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

naw that shit nastyy

18: Are you scared of spiders?

TERRIFIED

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

yes omg

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

at my ex's place before he left the country

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

work and sleep and hopefully sleep some more

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

five is too many but i'll start off w one kitty and adopt more from there!!!

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

none, i'm a puthy ):

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

english / research / acadamia. potato potato yk

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

i shudder at the idea of meeting people from my pasts lol

26: What are you craving right now?

i’m always craving for ramen!!

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

ig

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

yes and no? it didn’t feel like a real relationship lmao

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

i wouldn’t say make since i asked them about why they did sumn sketchy and they ended up crying

30: What’s irritating you right now?

the shitload of work that i have ):

31: Does somebody love you?

meeee and ig my parents luv me

32: What is your favourite colour?

maroon, deep blue and grey!!

33: Do you have trust issues?

omg yes how did you know

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

i don’t remember but i usually like my dreams bc it’s like watching a fantasy movie lmaooo

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t cry in front of people

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

i give out third chances lmaooooo

but ig it works out bc if they mess up after the third, then it’s bye bye for good bc they dead to me

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

to forget wooooooooo if you mess up then you’re dead to me 

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

nah bro its 2020

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

legal

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

outside like in public or just in my house? bc if the first, then neverrr

51: Favourite food?

ramen yumm

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

depends lol sometimes things just happen to inconvenience me and i don’t appreciate the person who caused it 

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

scroll my ipad

54: Is cheating ever okay?

depends lol, are you both cheating and aware of it? then yes. if only one party’s cheating and being sneaky? no i hope they get pooped by a bird every time they go out

55: Are you mean?

idk ): sum say i come off too strong but it’s only been them puthy ass men that’s said that

56: How many people have you fist fought?

my bro

57: Do you believe in true love?

yes for self-love and no for romantic kind of love, maybe for familial love

58: Favourite weather?

livin in a hot and humid country makes you appreciate the rain a bit more!!

59: Do you like the snow?

they look magical in tv!!

60: Do you wanna get married?

yea sure if the dude fits me. i don’t believe marriages are supposed to be a compromise, if you have to change something to fit the other, then that’s not really a good reason to keep being tgt for me.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

eh it’s okay

62: What makes you happy?

sleeping!!

63: Would you change your name?

i would... to cara (;

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

idk man, i don’t have any problems but depends if they wanna ykwim?

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

noooooo best friends are best friends for a reason!!!

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

no but oh well i’m v comfortable w my girlfriends alr

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

uh, besides my dad and bro, ig this one friend from high school who’s like super chill

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

a friend on tumblr by the name of my fav day; rain ((((:

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

ig? i mean if they fit you then they fit you. 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

me mommy bc i appreciate her sm <3

[emybain]

Rainy Day

i tried posting this earlier but tumblr was a butt and deleted it so here’s a second go. there’s angst but at least there’s some nodrian. this is also part of the au where nova’s family lives:) im posting from my phone and ive never done that before so if something weird happens let me know. just some background (as i forget to explain my hcs for this au 95% of the time): the anarchists want nova to join them bc they know she’s powerful. they contact her and confront her on the streets and stuff. no one knows but nova, and since this started, she’s sickened and scared bc she sometimes agrees with some of their points against the renegades. she’s terrified bc they (*cough* Ingrid) vaguely threaten her and her loved ones. she’s also scared of what could happen if it gets out. we LOVE living in the spotlight bc we have an infamous uncle! hope y’all enjoy:D

_________

It was pouring outside, much to Nova’s luck. She only prayed that she wouldn’t crash her car in this weather; she wasn’t even sure if she had grabbed her wallet in her hurry to leave her house.

She couldn’t go back after this. Her parents were done. Disappointed. Ashamed. Angry. She had betrayed their trust once again, but this time, it went too far. This was a secret she never should have kept from them, and now they were going to kick her out onto the streets.

Thankfully, Adrian only lived a few blocks away, so she didn’t have to leave the neighborhood. Stepping out of her car, she could barely even register the fat raindrops that began to drench her entire body.

He answered on the fifth knock, looking as if he had just woken up from a nap. Nova didn’t even let herself take in his ruffled state. He blinked at her, frowning at her red eyes and wet clothes.

“Nova? What’s wr-”

“Are your parents home?”

Opening the door a bit more, he shook his head slowly, obviously confused. “No? They’re at headquarters righ-umph!”

Nova launched herself at him, burying her head into his sweatshirt. His armed immediately wrapped around her, although his body stiffened in alarm.

“Nova, hey, Nova.” He relaxed quickly. A hand made circles on her back. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. I’m here, yeah?” He held her as she sobbed, muttering incoherent gibberish into his chest. She was probably getting tears and snot all over him, but that was the least of her worries.

Struggling for air, she gasped, “I can’t go home, Adrian. They’ll kill me. They’re go-going to kill me. I...I-I-I can’t go home. I’m never going to see Evie or-or Thomas ever again because I’m a fu-fucking idiot.” She felt a hand on her head, running through her hair.

He made small shushing sounds. “Is this about another piercing? Or did you finally get a tattoo?”

Nova heard the door shut behind her and the lock. She shook her head into the sweatshirt. “Much...much worse.”

As if to remind her of her situation, a loud Bang! Bang! Bang! resonated in her skull. Suddenly she felt as if she were falling and gripped Adrian. Her entire body shook, despite the fact that she was burning up.

“Breathe in and out, Nova.” She felt him gently guide her to the floor, something he always did for her when she was having an attack. “I’m here. You’re in my house, okay? Everything’s alright. I’m not going to leave you.” He backed up a little to give her space, but she made a whimpering noise in the back of her throat and reached out for him. He pulled her head into his lap, one hand going back to tracing circles on her skin and the other holding her hand.

She didn’t know how much time had passed before she finally felt her breathing slow down. Exhaustion rolled through her body, and she fell limp against Adrian’s knee. Somewhere far away, he asked her a few questions, to which she nodded to, only partly paying attention.

Somehow, she ended up on his bed with a glass of water in her hands and his soft comforter over her legs. He sat beside her on the edge, the lines on his forehead showing just how worried he was. Only when she silently gestured did he move to sit closer to her on the bed.

She was quiet for a long time, but Adrian was patient. He always was. She had had many breakdowns in his presence, and he knew how to help her get through them every time. Even though they had drifted apart in their earlier teen years, they were now both making the effort to spend more time together. It had been about a year since they made this commitment, and while it was hard and her teammates and friends teased her about it, it was the best decision she had made in a long time.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” she mumbled, setting the still-full water glass on his nightstand. She curled her legs up to her chest, kicking back the bedspread.

“Take your time.” He reached for her hand, and she gladly accepted his.

Nova sniffled. “For a while now, the Anarchists have been contacting me.” A single tear slipped down her cheek. “They’ve been feeding me lies about the Renegades, taunting me for betraying my own blood.”

Adrian inhaled sharply. “Nova...what? I-”

“There’s more,” she snapped, but her voice shrank again. “They...they want me to join them, saying that the Renegades are liars and that they wanted my family to die that night.” She swallowed, feeling disgust wash over her. “And now, I’m afraid of what they’re going to do to me or my family.” She glanced at him, hand tightening around his. “To you. They know how close we are.”

Adrian searched her face. “You should’ve said something sooner, Nova. This is serious. How long has this been going on?”

She shrugged, looking down at the sheets. “A year and a half?” Adrian cursed under his breath. Another tear dripped down her cheek. “Adrian, you can’t tell anyone, okay? You know the shit I get every day just for being an Artino. I’ve had to prove myself since I was six, had to...had to play the part of a media darling just to stay on most people’s good side. All that could vanish if this got out. It won’t matter that I’ve ignored them. You know how the tabloids are.”

Adrian shushed her as her voice started to rise and shake again. “I can’t just do nothing, Nova. You know that.” Something flashed in his eyes. “You matter more than anything else in the world to me. I can’t stand to see you like this.” Nova blushed, only then becoming aware of how close they were sitting on his bed, how weirdly handsome he looked in his grey sweatpants and sweatshirt. Her eyes drifted to the necklace peeking out from his sweatshirt, stomach dropping at the thought of it hanging over her.

She shook her head, partly in response and partly to get her mind away from such imaginations. “My parents found out today and confronted me when I came home from headquarters.” She inhaled shakily. “I was a dumbass and left a letter out on my desk.”

Adrian’s face softened in understanding. “They were angry you didn’t tell them?”

“Furious,” she breathed. “They...they told me I wasn’t their daughter if…” her face crumpled, and he wrapped his arms around her again, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. “If I was actually thinking about joining them.”

“But you’re not,” he reassured her, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. That only made more tears fall.

Nova leaned back, wanting to tell him more. How she had actually considered what they said. Not about joining them, but what they mentioned about the system being corrupt and unfair. Sometimes, when she really thought about it, she could see where they were right. It made her feel dirty inside and out for betraying everything she ever knew.

“You’re a good person, Nova.” He attempted to smile. “We’ll talk about what to do about them contacting you later. Everything’s going to be alright. You’re one of the best people I know. No, don’t shake your head,” he laughed, which caused the corner of her lip to lift up just slightly. She loved his laugh. “You are. They’re just upset right now. Any parent would be. Give them some time to think through things. You know my dads never mind how long you stay.” After a slight pause, he added, a bit awkwardly, “Okay?”

Nova glanced down at his lips, pinched in worry, then back up at his eyes, and she may have responded, or she may not have. But the next thing she knew, her lips were pressed firmly against his. He made a noise in surprise; Nova felt his body go stiff beside her. She pulled back, an apology already forming in her mouth. He blinked at her, the hand that had been rubbing circles on her arm now still. Then he did something that sent Nova over the edge: He kissed her back.

She gasped, allowing him to deepen the kiss and pull her closer. Nova’s entire body shook as she climbed into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. One hand splayed at the small of her back, the other reaching up to dig into her hair. A soft moan escaped her lips at the way her skin tingled from the contact; she would’ve been mortified if Adrian didn’t act like the sound was the best thing he had ever heard.

He broke the kiss, only to murmur her name and words of affection as his lips, great skies his lips, traced a path from her jaw down to the hollow part of her neck. Nova’s head was pounding, her heart racing, her body feeling about a thousand new emotions all at once.

Nova had kissed people before, had even kissed Adrian once when they were fourteen as part of a dare and came close about a year ago. But none of those kisses were like this one. No, she had never, ever, ever been kissed like this before. As if she were the most precious thing in the world; as if she mattered and was cared for.

His lips returned to her face, kissing away the tear stains on her cheeks before returning to her mouth. An explosion of stars lit up behind Nova’s eyelids, and she welcomed his caresses fervently, pressing her body so close to his until she felt as if she might suffocate. But at that moment, she didn’t care.

For so long, she had dreamed and thought of and imagined what it might be like to kiss Adrian Everhart. Partly in shame, for he was her best friend. They had known one another for ten years; they weren’t supposed to feel this way about one another. Every time she had ever thought of a life where they were something other than friends, she chastised herself. She couldn’t ruin their friendship and reveal her true feelings for him if he didn’t feel the same. When she was younger, she had seen Adrian as something akin to a brother. That had all changed after they had first kissed as awkward, naïve fourteen year olds. But if he had been like family for her before then, surely Adrian only thought about her as a sister. Right? Now she wasn’t so sure.

Adrian’s fingers ran over the length of her thigh, then his hand came to rest in the crevice under her knee. Nova shook in his hold, her breath beginning to grow shallow. A sick, heavy brick dropped in her stomach, the exact opposite of the feeling of pleasure she had felt just minutes before. What if this wasn’t all she had wanted? What if they were just caught up in the moment, and Adrian was only kissing her because she had initiated it? He could break the embrace at any moment and push her away in disgust when realization would hit, and just like that, the best ten years of her life would go down the drain.

She needed air, but also didn’t want to let go just yet. A new wave of tears threatened to spill behind her closed eyelids. She was such an idiot. Adrian could never, would never, love her the way she loved him.

Not knowing what else to do, Nova allowed her power to roll through her, gently so as not to hurt him like she would with criminals. It had been years since she had been kind with her power; she hadn’t used it that way since Thomas was a screaming toddler. The effects were the same, though. Adrian broke the kiss as his head lolled back against the headboard. Fat tears streamed down Nova’s face. Adrian had offered her a place to stay, but after what had just happened, how could she?

Legs shaky, Nova pushed herself off of him and scooted toward the end of the bed. She wanted nothing more than to just curl up beside him and fall asleep in his arms. After all, he was one of the few people that made her feel safe enough to fall asleep. But no. She had to go. Where, she wasn’t quite sure yet. Anywhere but here. Maybe she would call up Danna or Ramona and explain the situation. Both were familiar with her home life and the occasional desire to just disappear for a while from the chaos that was the Artino household.

Thank the sky above that Hugh and Simon weren’t home, or else she would have some explaining to do. Due to her current state, just making it out of the large house was a miracle. It was pouring harder now than it was when Nova came over. She closed the front door and, finding the spare key hidden under a small statue, locked it and hid the key again.

Between the pouring rain and her blurry eyesight, seeing was very difficult for Nova while getting out of Adrian’s neighborhood. She could barely think, barely breathe, even as she called Danna through her car’s Bluetooth system because she was at the top of her contact list. In the corner of her mind, she heard her Papà’s voice telling her she needed to slow down because of the slick roads, like he always tells her to drive slowly in the rain. She can hardly process even that warning.

“Don’t be an emotional driver,” Papà would say whenever she got upset back when she was learning to drive. “Pull over somewhere safe if you’re upset or angry, va bene?” And Nova would nod her head and take deep breaths to calm down.

Images of Adrian flitted through her head, only succeeding in making her more upset than she was. How was she going to explain herself when he woke up and inevitably called her?

“Nova? Nova, are you there?” Nova fixed her eyes on the little screen in her car where it showed a call was in process. Blinking she tried to read who it was, not quite sure she remembered who she had called. It was Danna. Right.

Nova looked back up at the road just as she ran a red light, being t-boned by an incoming car.

[legolaslovely]

Safe

A/N: As promised, some fluffy Thorin <3 <3 As always, feel free to tell me what you think! Thanks for reading! ***Picture is from Pinterest from Tolkienette ‘s tumblr blog.

Pairing: Thorin x Human!Reader

Word Count: 1,690

Warnings: None

Summary: Based on this imagine from @thereandbackagainimagines  

The company chattered lowly around you as you finished your stew. It was a particularly cold night and you started to shiver again as heat of your meal subsided. You stuck your hands under your arms and huddled closer to the fire, staring into the bright flames and feeling yourself grow sleepy. Between your hours on watch and the excruciating cold, you hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in over a week and it was starting to get to you. The company around the fire gave you a wide birth, knowing well how nasty you could get when you were cranky.

“Here, (Y/N), take this,” Fili said, sitting next to you. “It’ll warm you up a little bit.”

You took the mug from him, realizing he had boiled water for you to drink. You smiled at him in thanks and wrapped your frozen fingers around the burning mug. You sipped on it and said, “It doesn’t bother you guys, does it?”

“The cold? Not as much as humans, I suppose,” Fili said.

“We’re just really hot,” Kili said, making you laugh for the first time in days.

You hummed. “Okay,” you said, sarcasm ringing in your voice.

The brothers did their best to raise your spirits. Though they often played their tricks on you, you couldn’t stay mad at them for long and you almost always enjoyed your time with them. You listened to Fili’s stories about what he remembered of the mountain and held your steaming mug close to your face. Through its fog, you could see Thorin looking at you from across the fire. You lowered your eyes with a blink, not taking too much notice.

Long after you had finished your drink and had felt the cold creeping into your limbs, the company drifted off to their bedrolls for the night. Thankfully, you didn’t have watch.

“Leave the fire burning tonight,” Thorin said to Dwalin when he moved to snuff it out.

You were so tempted to curl up right next to the fire and sleep there. You raised your eyebrows. It wasn’t a terrible idea.

“(Y/N), come on, you should try to get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow,” Fili called to you.

“Yeah, I’m gonna… I’m gonna sleep over here,” you said, scooching closer to the flames and leaning down on your elbow.

“That is a terrible idea,” he said. He rolled his eyes at your glare. “You can’t bring your bedroll over there.”

“I don’t need a bedroll. Trust me, I’ll sleep like a baby without it, as long as I’m not shivering all night. I just want to be warm.” You laid down in the dirt and brought your knees to your chest, facing the dimming flames. You tucked your chin in your cloak and hummed. This was good.

Fili groaned your name in frustration.

You lifted your head. “Whatever you have in your blood that helps you deal with this agonizing, freezing cold, I don’t have it! Just let me be,” you finished, stuffing your mouth in the crook of your elbow.

“You won’t be so cold when you wake up on fire because you rolled too far. Who will help you then?” Thorin spoke now, standing above you.

You shrank a bit. Arguing with Fili was one thing, but arguing with Thorin took a whole new type of courage. “Whoever is on watch,” you said shortly.

“That would be me,” Thorin said with raised brows and his arms crossed over his chest.

“Well, will you save me, then?” you spat.

He looked at you for a moment, silent, angry tension growing. Without a word, he turned and sat on a log across the camp.

“I’d rather burn than freeze to death anyway,” you mumbled, pulling your cloak up to your chin and closing your eyes. Frustration and, though you didn’t want to admit it, embarrassment flooded through you. Why did Thorin care what happened to you anyway? One less mouth to feed if you were to die. You huffed and concentrated on the warmth radiating from the fire. It didn’t take you long to fall into a deep, much needed sleep.

*

The smell of breakfast and the noise of scurrying dwarves woke you. You opened your eyes to see the camp almost completely packed up. You also noticed that you weren’t as close to the now smothered fire as you were when you fell asleep. You sat up, bewildered, and saw Fili and Kili standing above you.

“We let you sleep,” Kili said. “You get really cranky when you don’t get enough sleep.”

“Sorry,” you said with a small smile. Your cloak felt heavy on you as you stood, and you realized an extra one hung from your shoulders. It was thicker and warmer than yours and beautiful, soft furs hung from the top of it. A cloak like this could only belong to royals, you knew. You slid it off your shoulders and held it out to Fili. “Thank you for letting me borrow this.”

“That’s not mine,” he said.

You looked to Kili who nodded in the direction of his uncle who was attaching his bedroll to his pack. Your eyes widened and your head hung low as you walked over to Thorin. You stopped before him and held out his heavy cloak. “Thank you for- for giving me- for this.”

He took it and fastened it around his shoulders. “I decided I didn’t want to see you burn or freeze,” he said.

“You’re the one who moved me.”

He nodded, throwing his pack over his back. “Believe it or not, you were overheating sleeping that close to the fire. I’ve never seen cheeks so red.”

You breathed out a laugh, remembering how the neighborhood boys used to tease you for that exact trait. “Well, thank you,” you said, turning from him to gather your own things.

He called you back. His fierce blue eyes cut into yours. “If anything were to happen, you know I would do my best to keep you safe.”

“I know that,” you nodded. “We’re a company. We protect each other.”

He hummed. “Gather your things, we should be off.”

All day, you remained toward the back of the group. You felt well rested for the first time in weeks, but your mind was overwhelmed in thought. Though dwarves are less affected by the cold, Thorin must have been freezing without his cloak during the night. He shouldn’t have given it to you, you decided. He was possibly the most important one on this quest, he was the leader of the company, the King of Erebor. Nothing should happen to him, especially not because of you.

Your defiance and frustration echoed through you with every step you took toward the mountain, but you also worked to push away ever growing thoughts of his kindness and consideration. You knew he was deeply loved by his people, you had simply never thought about why.

The day flew by with your mind traveling elsewhere. You gathered firewood and assisted with making supper. Again, you placed yourself close to the fire as you ate. Thorin was the last to fill his mug with stew and as he reached into the pot over the flames, you called to him. “I wanted to apologize for my attitude last night.”

He surprised you by sitting next to you, on the other side of his nephews. “That’s alright, (Y/N). Your attitude is almost always much brighter than any of ours here, despite your hardships. I know none of this is easy-”

“That doesn’t give me a right to treat you that way.”

He looked at you and you expected him to chide you for interrupting him. “You’re allowed to slip every once in a while,” he said.  

You grinned and ate your stew. The rest of the evening passed with you listening to Kili and Fili’s stories by the fire. Every so often, you heard Thorin chuckle or correct his nephews, or even tell a story of his own. It was as if he had shed his cold, responsible demeanor and become the dwarf Kili and Fili had told you so much about. You couldn’t believe this was the same Thorin.

The four of you stayed awake long after the rest of the company had taken to their bedrolls and finally, Thorin advised you all to rest. You watched him smother the fire with dirt and felt dread and even fear rise in your chest. He noticed. “We can’t let it burn tonight. We are too close to the mountain, wargs and orcs will be looking for the smoke.

You nodded and wished him a good night with a small smile. You laid down on your bedroll and curled yourself up to sleep, closing your eyes. You heard someone set up close to you and assumed it was Fili or Kili, not bothering to open your eyes. A heavy arm landed across your waist and you started when you smelled Thorin’s familiar scent washing over you. You turned to him with wide eyes.

“No one will be freezing to death tonight,” he said, with the hint of a smile beneath this thick beard.

You lie on your back, looking up at him, laughing when your chin shook in an involuntary shiver. “Are you so sure about that?”

“I am,” he said, adjusting his cloak so it covered both of you and pulled you closer to his warm body.

You rolled into his chest and felt him tense as you snuggled your head under his chin and sent your shaking fingers around his waist. Your other hand buried itself in the fur of his vest on his chest and you sighed, content and safe. You felt him relax, pulling you even closer to him and tucking his cloak warmly around you. You glued yourself to him, fitting perfectly in his arms and soon your shivering stopped.

As you drifted off into sleep, you felt his fingers tangle in the ends of your undone hair and his lips leaving light kisses on the top of your head. “I told you I’d keep you safe,” he said.

[notnavi]

Not a good story.

CHAPTER 5: BEEN A LONG TIME.

 Hello, been a long time, well it’s not like YOU have waited a long time for this, yeah I’m speaking to you, future viewer of my work of art, while I’m writing this nobody knows me, but I know I’ll show this to the world and someone will see this, which would make the title of this chapter kind of useless since you weren’t here while I took this huge break, I don’t really know if it can be called a break since I spent it working and feeling depressed, but you don’t really care about that do you, once this whole pandemic and economic crisis is over it’ll all feel like a walk in the park, and I mean who wouldn’t? Once it’s over and we think about it we put ourselves in our past selve’s shoes, and our present us know there’s an end to that bad thing, but our past us don’t know that and that’s why we’re feeling like we are, even though I can say there will be an ending to this, I cannot say for certain it’ll be worse that right now. I can go on and on about this, for example, when I was 16 and all I wanted was a girlfriend I felt “depressed”, thinking back on it now it feels like I was a huge moron.

 In this chapter I’m not sure what to write, I was supposed to write a comedy this time, because if you haven’t got the idea already, this is supposed to be a search for the perfect story, I’m supposed to try different styles and wonder why none satisfy me, only to come to the conclusion that I only need to finish them and realize this is a good story and it’s because I think it’s one. Well, I guess by saying that I destroyed my whole plot and now it’s not a story anymore but a diary, maybe it’s better for a beginner like me to write a diary instead of a whole story, after all, what’s wrong with a diary? I mean, I really don’t care about someone else’s life, and there’s no excitement in a diary, unless it’s a 16 year old girl’s seeing if the boy she likes will accept her love confession or something. Ok I might also find that absolutely boring, which brings me to this new challenge of trying to make a diary but also interesting to the common folk to read, so let’s see what would make me read someone else’s diary.

1: They would be a famous person: This is the only reason I could come up writing that whole thing back there, thankfully I came with another one, but for now let’s focus on this one; I would only read someone else’s diary if they were famous, meaning I’d like to know how they came to this fame, unless the diary is from a certain dictator we all know and mark as the worst even though there’s one that’s worse and one that’s present in today’s day and age making people suffer. Getting back on topic I’d need to be famous in order for other people to want to read this, I’m not famous though, which brings me great disdain, primarily because I’m not one, secondly because people won’t read my writing.

2: It wouldn’t feel like a diary: Have you seen those tumblr screenshots about funny things in a book, and people who have nothing in common with books say stuff like; “haha funny”? Well I kind of need that to happen in order to make my writting more famous, so yeah, if by some reason you’re reading this then please do your magic.

 Anyways those two things are the only ones I could come up with, I’m pretty tired too so maybe it contributes to that, I’ve been watching a lot of mushroom videos and how to grow them, I’m incredibly money hungry, so if all things go well I might make a living off of mushrooms and I’ll have more time to write stuff that will die of irrelevancy, that’s it for this dissapointing chapter, see you!

[cityofaangels]

Sebastian Stan MCM Comic Con

So yeah, this happened. I’d been waiting for this for a loooong time, and amazingly, weeks after I moved to the UK, I learned Sebastian Stan was going to be in London.

I was one of the lucky few who managed to grab a VIP pass for Saturday - which meant that I had a photo op, priority lines for signing + his panel.

Sebastian? Is amazing. The photo op was so rushed it was insane, but he’s so nice holy shit. He just smiles, looks at you (and not like vaguely around you, no, he looks at you with those stupid stupid eyes), says hi, is generally dorky. Didn’t get a chance to ask for a special pose (I was honestly still trying to come to terms with the fact the he was... real.... just there...) but he just hugged me to his side really gently???? Side note: he smells really good too. I made a few people laugh really hard when they saw me shaking and drinking half of my water in one go as I stepped out of the photo booth.

Then at the signing session, once again it was really rushed. It sucked cause people who didn’t have the courage to actually talk (and see no judgement there, I’m usually one of those people) just had like two seconds with him because the staff rushed him so much. I got lucky because I had a drawing that I wanted him to sign, and so he reacted to it. Said he loved seeing art and that mine was incredible. I honestly DIED right on the spot and lost all of my English. I said thanks probably thirty times???

The panel was a bit weird on Saturday? I got the feeling he was a bit tired of answering the same questions. Might just have been a feeling though. Loved his reaction when literally the whole crowd said they didn’t like Endgame’s ending though, it was priceless 😂 Also he looked so done with Tom Holland who’s sent him a video, it was great. He did say he loved seeing people’s art and that they should never stop doing it (I will swear until the day I die that he looked in my direction - I was sitting in the first row - at this point but who knows).

And then Sunday came. I originally hadn’t planned to get an autograph, and I didn’t buy a photo op for this day. But when I approached the line for the autographs, there weren’t actually a lot of people (that was literally two minutes after the doors opened, so that might be why) and I didn’t have much left to do this day, so I just thought what the hell? You only live once. Yes it’s expensive but fuck it, I really wanted to thank him for what he’d said the day before. The waiting was loooong and slightly stressful cause halfway through I realized I didn’t actually have enough cash with me to pay for the autograph???? Thankfully the staff were really nice and let me run to an ATM and come back in line without me losing my place. Phew!

So anyway, after watching all of the people in the priority line get straight to Sebastian (let me tell you, it feels good when you’re in the priority line... when you’re just looking at them after waiting for two hours? Not so much 😂) the regular queue started moving pretty fast. I got my already signed drawing out and started rehearsing what I wanted to say (hello it’s my old friend anxiety).

Once again the staff tried to rush everything (he barely had time to say hello to the two people right in front of me)... but for the actual first time in my life I said FUCK IT. And while Sebastian was signing the picture I’d chosen, I told him "By the way, thank you so much for what you said yesterday on my drawing and about art during the panel." He looked up at me (did I mention the stupid eyes?) and I just motioned like an idiot to the drawing and I fucking swear his (stupid) eyes lit up???? He was like "Oh you were there yesterday! This is really amazing. I love seeing so much great art. You’re amazing, please never stop drawing." And he was just so smiley???? And the staff kept shoving the next picture at him but he was having None Of It, let me tell you. So I just told him, "thank you so so much, this means a lot to me, really" (accent was back full force and I’m just lucky I didn’t slip into my first language at this point) and he just smiled and said "You’re very welcome. Have a nice day!"

At this point my brain TURNED OFF. Honestly I was just smiling like an idiot, shaking and mayhaps crying a little too. My favourite actor’d just told me THESE WORDS. I know some people won’t get it. I know he’s said this to a lot of people. But do I give the slightest fuck? No. I had this moment with him, just these few words meant the world to me who’s constantly crippled by self-doubt, anxiety, depression and whatnot. This was an amazing experience, and while I’m still not convinced the Cons’ settings are the best to meet an actor (sooo much room for improvement...) I’m still incredibly happy I got to live these two days the way I lived them.

Also huuuge thank yous to the few people who complimented my drawing, maybe you’re one of them, this sort of comments goes straight to my heart and warms it for days and days and days ❤️

And if by any chance the person who borrowed my drawing to get Sebastian’s signature tattooed on Saturday is on Tumblr, please send me a message!

[girlpower8900]

Was tagged by my lovely tumblr bff @falliam so lets see how this goes

how old are you: 22

surgeries: none

tattoos: none, probably won’t ever

ever hit a deer: i don’t even drive

sang karaoke: yes, its actually quite fun

ice skated: no

ridden a motorcycle: no

ridden in an ambulance: no

skipped school: never

stayed in the hospital: no

broken bones: thankfully no

Last phone call: Department of Rehab (trying to reschedule an appointment due to it conflicting with my school schedule)

last text from: Sprint lol “You forgot to validate! You’re missing out on savings!...” stop messaging me Sprint i dont need this promo

watched someone die: .....only on TV shows

pepsi or coke: i dont like soda

favourite pie: PUMPKINNNNNNNNNNN...and apple too <3

favourite pizza: CHEESE (only)

favourite season: SUMMER - also known as MANI/PEDI SEASON

received a ticket: i dont drive

favourite colour: pink <3

sunset or sunrise: sunset

favourite christmas song:  All I Want For Christmas Is You

cupcakes or cookies: cupcakes

I don’t really have enough friends on tumblr to tag people, so anyone who hasn’t done this before and wants to can

[ourimpavidheroine]

I don’t know if any of you read the comic Saga, but the issue that was just released not only had a major character death but the creators announced they were taking at least a year (if not longer) hiatus before giving any new issues.

(Mild spoilers for Saga as well as A Song of Ice and Fire below.)

First off, I was triggered. I don’t mean that in the sort of *gasp oooh this sucks* Tumblr sort of way but in the *I have PTSD and have been going through some pretty intensive therapy including EMDR and CBT* kind of way. In other words, it triggered the living fuck out of me but thankfully my very hard work the past three years kicked in and I was able to ride it out. I’m okay. I’m still upset about it, but upset in a manageable way, not upset in a I can’t move and I can’t speak and I’m shaking and reliving my wife’s death like it's happening all over again right this very second way.

In other words, folks, PTSD isn’t a goddamn fucking tag line because the barista at Starbucks got your coffee wrong, okay? 

Moving on.

You know, I read Game of Thrones, ever so many years ago, back in the 90′s when it was first published. I got upset when Ned Stark died. (I did not get triggered. I had not even met my late wife at that point.) I read the next few books as they came out and then I quit reading them. Partly because I thought the story was so plot driven that character development was getting left behind (and character development is what keeps me interested in any story being told in any medium, but that’s just me and certainly not every other reader) and partly because I felt like all of the constant death was just a cheap and lazy device to shock the readers. Ned Stark? Upsetting. The Red Wedding? Horrifying. But as the books kept going and people kept dying I was like...but what’s the aftermath of all of this? I don’t mean that different families use the various deaths as a catalyst for their own purposes. That these deaths had an impact on the plot is undeniable. Martin is a fucking genius when it comes to plot. But what kind of impact did it have on the characters themselves?

The books really didn’t address it, or at least not directly. Sure, we know Arya Stark is completely broken, and not in a good way, for example. We know that it was due to what’s happened to her and her family. But we don’t know how she feels about all of it. None of that was addressed. We just keep going forward as the plot kept rocketing on. 

How is this death going to be addressed in Saga? Don’t know. And I won’t know, not for at least another year, possibly longer. Will we pick up directly after that moment, how the survivors of the bloodbath that took out four characters in the space of an hour or two try to even grasp what’s happened? Only one of the dead characters was a “bad” character; the other three left behind people who loved them, very deeply. What is this going to do to them? How is the grief going to destroy them, crack them into pieces, damage the very cores of them, deep in the places where others can’t see? Will we even get that, or when the comic eventually comes back will we do a convenient time skip, avoiding all of that? All of the tears, all of the sleeplessness, the loss of appetite, the standing in the kitchen knowing you need to feed your children something but being frozen, unable to do anything but cry, finally ordering pizza for the billionth night in a row even though you know it isn’t healthy and for fuck’s sake what is wrong with you? Putting your loved one’s dirty shirt from the hamper into a sealed bag because it still smells like her and you’re terrified you’ll forget that smell and if you start thinking you’ll never smell that again it takes you into a deep dark terrifying hole you are afraid you’ll never get out of. Listening to your children sobbing in the night. Going about your business and getting a “Remember this day” notice from Facebook with a photo of your loved one, laughing, unaware that she’s only got another three weeks to live and the next thing you know you’re on the floor making noises you had no idea humans could make, clutching your phone to your chest and having no idea how you are going to make it to the next minute never mind the next day never mind the rest of your life and then you order pizza again.

That’s what grief is. It’s wretched. It isn’t noble. It’s worrying about paying off all the bills and people telling you that they are there for you but waiting for you to tell them what you need when you have no idea what you need and people feeling so awkward about your grief that they just leave you alone so as not to have to think about it. 

It’s the endless, endless fucking endless loop of “if I had just done it differently they’d still be alive.”

Who wants that? Who wants to read that or see it? God. No one, that’s who. People who’ve never lost someone close to them just want grief porn that they can leave behind and people who have lost someone don’t need to live through that again, thanks.

It’s not to say that you should never have a character die. People die. That’s life. Sometimes they die when they are old and ready. Sometimes they die in brutal ways. Sometimes their death lingers with them, slowing them down as their body loses its struggle. Sometimes it comes without warning, so that your twelve year old children, coming in to see what’s for lunch find you dead, face down on the floor.

But it is to say, you need to do it with thought. You need to think about what this death does to the people who are left behind. Time skips are a bullshit way of getting out of doing the hard work of actually addressing what you’ve done to your characters, and the same goes for just pushing through the plot. If you are going to break characters - if you are going to establish that they were violently orphaned as children and left to fend for themselves - then you need to deal with the aftermath of how you’ve broken them. You don’t get to say that eleven years later they are teenagers and pro-bending and doing okay and never referencing that event again. Because you know what happens when you do? You’ve got fans assuming that your characters are assholes without ever stopping to think that they are profoundly broken because of what happened to them.

See, there’s this thing where people say that no matter what happened to a character that they don’t get to use that as an excuse. I agree with that, as it happens. Whatever happens to us in life, it does not excuse the hurt we cause others.

However, when you have a teenage character telling another teenage character that his past - abandonment by his mother, the cruel abuse of his father, having half of his face burned off, being exiled - is no excuse for him to not know how to behave with a girlfriend at the age of sixteen makes me want to reach through the screen and smack the show creators.

Because it’s easy to say that. It’s easy to say that people who have suffered cruel abuse, who have been deeply traumatized, who have clear symptoms of PTSD aren’t excused from their behavior. But who is helping them deal with it? Who is guiding them? Who is walking them through the slow and painful process of healing? Because the process is painfully slow. It’s ruthless, soul crushing, desperate. It’s never cut and dried, it’s never a straight path, it’s one step forward and then falling on your ass and sobbing. It’s not something that you can do alone, either. And far too many people never get the help they need. 

If you are going to break your characters then DEAL WITH IT. No shortcuts. No excuses. None of this barely scratching the surface bullshit. No time skips, no soundbites about healing, no mention in passing and then never addressing it again. Own it. Deal with it. Because that’s what broken people have to do, every single day. And we deserve more than grief porn.

[yournewapartment]

So I'm a Canadian who will be moving to Scotland later this month for university and I'm wondering: Do you have any tips for getting settled in a new country? This will be the first time I'm buying my own groceries and not using student loans so budgeting advice is also welcome.

This ask has been sitting in my inbox for like at least a month... I’m so sorry! Some posts take more time to write then others. I actually have about four asks that are all essentially this same question, so I’m going to just combine them all into one post. 

As for budgeting... here’s my two cents, in terms of Minimum Wage.

Budgeting on Minimum Wage

Overview

The average minimum wage in the US is $7.25/hr. Even working full time at 40 hours a week, that’s only a profit of $290 before taxes. This is not a fair living wage! You are worth way more than this amount! I strongly encourage you to start looking for another job that pays better, look for something around the $10-$15 range.

While $7.25 is atrocious, thousands of people around the world support families on much less. If they can do it while supporting children, so can you! To live off a minimum wage budget you need to declare yourself independent. If your parents are still claiming you as a dependent YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO THIS. I also recommend that you have the highest amount possible taken out of your taxes so that you get money back from your state at the end of the year, instead of being in debt to them.

What I’ve done is come up with a budgeting plan based off some made up factors and my own personal experience.

Housing

1. City life. Forget about the city! Apartments located in cities can be three times as expensive as apartments in small towns or villages. On top of the extra expense, they’re much smaller and have less amenities included. I’d much rather live in a one bedroom apartment with a dishwasher and a conveniently located Laundromat, than a literal closet with no windows on a fifth floor walkup. Look for apartments twenty minutes to a half hour outside of your closest city. Now you have the close conveniences of a city, with none of those pesky city prices that your budget can’t handle.

2. College towns. Shop around and look at apartments by local colleges. Large colleges with have apartment complexes within walking distance of the school grounds. Landlords know that college students have less money (you might even be a college student yourself) and adjust their prices accordingly. Even apartments next to ivy league schools are priced this way, so don’t be discouraged by the institution’s “prestige”.

3. Locale. Your safety is more important than your bank account. It doesn’t matter if you live in Section 8 housing or in an affluent suburb. Some apartment complexes and neighborhoods are just safer than others. I live in a heavily populated and upper middle class suburb, and the first year I moved in, a drunk woman tried to throw a beer bottle at my car. Thankfully this is the only time this happened to me, but it made me feel unsafe in my environment. Before signing a lease, walk or drive around your prospective home’s neighborhood at night. Take in the atmosphere, and make sure it’s one where you could comfortably run to the local supermarket at 10:30pm and pick up toilet paper.

4. Roommates. Living on minimum wage requires that you find one or two roommates to help split the rent. The more the better! Get together with your more responsible friends, so at least you’re living with people whose company you enjoy. There are lots of “roommate wanted” forums and message boards for you to browse on the internet, but always bring a responsible adult with you before meeting a stranger. Please. Bring your mom if you have too.

Food

1. Low-spoon food. I created this post a few months ago which offers lots of suggestions about cooking and shopping on a budget.

2. Online recipes. Here are some of my favorite online Tumblr cookbook resources.

- College Student Cookbook. Click here.

- Meals On The Go. Click here. (Not a cookbook, but super helpful)

- Broke College Kid Masterpost. Click here.

- Cooking on A Bootstrap. Click here.

- Good and Cheap. Click here.

- Budget Bytes. Click here.

3. I also regularly update my cooking on a budget tag.

Misc Expenses

1. Gas. Shop around and find the cheapest gas in your area. Avoid gas stations next to colleges, highways, and in touristy areas. Look into getting as gas rewards card from your favorite supermarket. I get 10 cents off a gallon with Stop & Shop every time I do a big shop.

2. Dollar store. Get to know your local dollar and bargain stores. You can buy everything from pots and pans to bed sheets there. These stores often sell bulk ramen for $1 and large cans of crushed tomatoes for 75 cents. That’s enough food for you to live off of for several days. When shopping, I make three grocery store stops to ensure that I spend the least amount possible on my pantry needs. I go Dollar Store, Stop and Shop, and then to my local organic grocery store. I’m going to make a list of things that I buy at Dollar Stores and things that I don’t buy at Dollar Stores soon!

3. Cable. We are living in the digital age- you don’t need cable television. Use Netflix or Hulu or whatever. It will save you tons of $$.

4. Internet. As far as internet speed goes, if you’re living with roommates you will probably need a higher speed. Living by yourself, choose a lower one. Most internet companies offer large discounts to new subscribers. These typically only last a year, but will save you serious money. Make sure to take note of when this discount expires, and contact the company before it does. If you don’t, they’ll begin charging you the full amount without notice.

5. Verizon. I just want to take a moment to talk about how much I love Verizon because they have literally saved me so much money in the three years I’ve been with them. After you sign a contract with a new internet company, they charge you a bunch of ridiculous fees like “activation fees” and “installation fees”. I called Verizon and was like “I’m a poor college student, I can’t afford this” and they were like “don’t worry, we’ll waive the fee”. I signed a two year contract with them that saved me $80 on a high-speed internet bill per month (my price being only 50.99 a month). After the contract expired I call them and they put me on a month to month, keeping the price absolutely the same. TLDR- get Verizon if you can.

6. Utility. Get on a monthly budget with whatever utility company services your new apartment. Although it may seem like the cheaper option, paying the actual amount of electricity you spend per month is the more expensive. It’s also unpredictable, and a minimum wage budget won’t allow for it. See this for more info.

7. Amazon. I buy a lot of my beauty, cleaning, and cat products online. Amazon offers Prime shipping free for a year with a student email address, and then offers it at a greatly reduced price after the year. If you are a student, snap up that free deal ASAP. If it’s in your budget, I’d greatly recommend investing in Amazon Prime.

8. Saving money. It’s so important to attempt to break way from the “paycheck to paycheck” vicious cycle. Living this way does not allow for emergency expense money, and trust me, sometime soon you will need emergency expense money. Your cat might get sick or your car may die, whatever it is, it’s always smart to have at least $500 squirreled away. I’m gonna level with you, things have been tight for my budget and I haven’t been able to save anything for the past three months. But this month I will!

Example Budgets

Full Time

Working with the $7.25/hr and 40hr/week model, here’s an example budget for living on minimum wage. That’s $1,160 a month without taxes.

Housing: Let’s say you’re sharing an apartment with two close friends, the rent being $1,500 without any amenities. That rent split three ways is $500 each.

Gas I commute twenty minutes every day, and I drop about $20-$25 a week on gas. That’s $100 on gas a month.

Food: I do one big shopping a month with my boyfriend. We drop around $180 and that’s including toiletries and soap and stuff. So maybe you’ll spend about $100 a month on all your shopping needs.

Cable/internet:  Hopefully you took my advice and skipped cable. Let’s say you’re paying around $50 per month for internet. Split three ways that’s $17 each.

Laundry: Hopefully you’re not like me and are only spending around $20 on laundry per month.

Random expenses: Because there always are some. Let’s just tack on another $100.

With everything added up, you still have around $290 left before taxes! That money can go into a savings account, and after several months, you’ll have that $500 worth of emergency money saved.

Part Time

Working with the $7.25/hr and 25hr/week model, here’s an example budget for living on minimum wage. That’s $725 without taxes.

Housing: In this case, you need to look for apartments in the $800-900 range. In my area, one bedroom apartments go for around $1000, so you may need to get creative with your roommate (I don’t think you could have more than one roommate in this situation). Buy dividers to split the bedroom or studio in half! Let’s say your rent is $850 with nothing included, that’s $425 each.

Gas You’re still looking at a large gas bill per month, so it may be more inexpensive to ride a bike or use public transportation. Let’s say you use public transportation, and spend around $50 a month on that. Or maybe you and your roommate can split gas expenses and share a car?

Food: Pinch those pennies! Use some of those budget cookbooks I linked above to help you cook healthy and delicious meals for under $4 each. See if you can only spend $80 a month on groceries.

Cable/internet:  Hopefully you took my advice and skipped cable. Let’s say you’re paying around $50 per month for internet. Split two ways is $25 each.

Laundry: Hopefully you’re not like me and are only spending around $20 on laundry per month.

Random expenses: Because there always are some. Let’s just tack on another $100.

That leaves you $25 to put in your bank account, if that. This is a paycheck to paycheck situation, and you will probably need to get another source of income to feel secure. But you can still do it!

[bughead-fic-request]

I would like to thank @leaalda for making these amazing banners.

This is an effort to spread the word about all fan fiction writers in our little fandom. If you would like to be featured or nominate a writer, please contact me. Please reblog this post if you can and check out some of @bettyluvsjuggie work!

1. First things first, if someone wanted to read your stories where can they find them.

http://archiveofourown.org/users/bettyluvsjuggie/works or my taglist on tumblr https://bettyluvsjuggie.tumblr.com/search/bljwrites

2. Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m 18 years old, and I live in England (I don’t have a posh accent and I don’t like tea- sorry for betraying the stereotypes). I’m a pretty artsy person, I love drama and especially dance- I’ve been dancing since I was like 3. You know that leg stretch thing Madelaine does as Cheryl, I can do that. I also love photography- I don’t have a great camera or anything yet, I just like taking pretty pictures.

3. What do you never leave home without?

My phone for sure.

4. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Night owl definitely, my sleep pattern is so messed up.

5. If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?

Gosh, that’s a tough one. I’d love to visit Wonderland, as in ‘Alice in…’ because I’ve always loved that story, but I wouldn’t want to live there!

6. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met.

I’ve met a couple of British Olympic and Paralympic medal winners but I don’t remember their names… clearly they weren’t that famous?

7. What are some of your favorite movies/TV?

I love classic 80s movies like The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller, St. Elmo’s Fire. I’m also a sucker for romantic movies like the first time, The Notebook, Me Before You.

TV shows? Obviously Riverdale, also Teen Wolf, Orphan Black, Brooklyn Nine Nine and Skins.

8. What are some of your favorite bands/musicians?

Varies so much across so many genres but some favourites currently are Oh Wonder, Ed Sheeran, Christine and the Queens, Halsey, All Time Low etc.

9. Favorite Books?

Anything sappy and romantic lol, and it’s a little clichéd tbf but the Fault in our Stars by John Green is one of my favourites I think, not that I’ve read it in ages, but I remember thinking it was really well written. A childhood favourite is Ballet Shoes by Noel Fielding.

10. Favorite Food?

Chicken, a broad category I know, but that’s what’s great about it! I also love spicy food.

11. Biggest pet peeve?

People who are assholes for no reason, it costs nothing to be kind.

12. What did you want to be when you were little? What do you want to be now?

I wanted to be a ballet dancer lol, how clichéd but like I said, I’m into dance. Now I want to work in psychology, probably working with children. Mostly I want to do something that makes me happy and might help make others a little happier too

13. What are your biggest fears? Do you have any strange fears?

I am f’ing terrified of needles- which sucks because I am desperate for a tattoo, but I have a panic attack when I have to get injections? Also, thunderstorms. I don’t understand how people love them because they terrify me!! I fully have to hide under a blanket and try and drown out the thunder and lightning

14. When you are on your deathbed what would be the one you’d regret not doing?

I hope that when I die, I can look back and see a full and happy life. I know that there will inevitably be ups and downs, but I hope that I will let the light outweigh the dark. So if anything, I would regret not allowing myself to be happy.

Okay… lets talk about your writing!

15. Which is your favorite of the fics you've written for the Bughead fandom?

A one-shot I wrote called Lovesick - Betty and Jughead are both sick after Jughead catches a cold from Betty. I really loved writing Jughead because he’s very over the top and whiny and it was just fun to do!

16. Which was the hardest to write, in terms of plot?

Currently my only multi-chapter is called He Was Gone - it’s set in two different timelines, sort of like flashbacks vs present time. I guess I don’t really struggle with the plot, but sometimes the words just won’t happen the way I want them to.

17. How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? Do you people watch? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?

Sometimes for my one-shots I look at prompts but I never really follow it exactly, that’s why I never credit one. Does that make sense? Like I put my own spin on it. For example: if the prompt is Person A takes care of Person B while they’re sick. I say nah, make them both sick.

The rest of the time, it’ll be an idea that has manifested in my brain. Some fluffy situation that I can’t stop thinking about all day and have to put into words as soon as I can.

Sometimes I write while listening to music but it’s not essential.

18. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

I’m not good at smut but then again I haven’t really tried, maybe I will, maybe it won’t. I’m really enjoying writing fluff right now so it doesn’t bother me too much.

19. Least favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

I can't really pinpoint an exact thing but I have definitely posted chapters of my multi-chapter that I wasn't completely satisfied with.

20. Favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

From Lovesick again (I really do like it): “You’re very hot Jug.”

“Why thank you, my dear. And I love you very much, but I am in no state to fool around today” he deadpanned. I like sarcastic Jughead

21. Favorite character to write?

Jughead and Betty, can’t separate them sorry. I mostly only write those two anyway in my one-shots. I’m just in love with those characters and their love story.

22. Favorite line or lines of dialogue that you've written?

Jughead waited for Betty’s eyes to flutter open and meet his, meadows of green locked with floods of blue. He sighed quietly, “there is nothing in this world, or the next, that will stop me from kissing you.”

23. Best comment/review you’ve ever received?

Literally every comment I receive makes my heart sing and puts a smile on my face. There are no favourites because they all mean the world to me. Whether it’s three words or thirty, I can guarantee any comment will make me happy.

24. How do you handle bad reviews or comments?

I’ve had none so far thankfully, but I imagine I would try and not let the bad outweigh the good. I understand that’s sometimes easier said than done though.

25. If you could change anything in any of your stories, what would it be?

Sometimes I post a chapter and then when I’m writing the next one and I think of something and I’m like ‘damn that would have been so much better’ but I can’t really pick out something specific.

What is your favorite story you’ve ever written? Any fandom?

Before I entered the bughead fandom I didn’t even read fanfiction of any sort, let alone write it so there are no fics from other fandoms. I’ve already said Lovesick a few times (Really? Hadn’t noticed.) so I’ll pick another one. I am really loving writing He Was Gone to be honest, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else do the Now/Then thing that I’m doing and I’m just enjoying exploring that.

27. What are you reading right now? Both fan fiction and general fiction?

Not really reading any general fiction at the moment sadly, I need to start reading again for sure. But in terms of fanfiction, I literally am LOVING Serpent and the Swan @jugandbettsdetectiveagency, meet the morning, which has just finished but it’s one of my favourites @sylwrites, OF COURSE The Stacks by @malmo722, a long time favourite (shout out to its brilliant author who also thought of this awesome idea, thanks for letting me be a part of it <3), there’s definitely loads more and literally tons on my need to read list.

28. Do you have an advice for writers that want to get into this fandom but might be scared?

I’ve seen a lot of people talk about comment culture and reaching out to others so I’ll try and write something a little different.

When you put your work out there for the first time, it is super scary and it can make you feel super vulnerable, I can remember the exact feeling because it feels like barely anytime has passed since I posted my first fic. Try not to expect immediate success, unfortunately it doesn’t happen for everyone. I know it can be intimidating to see a much smaller number of notes on your post than the most well-known writers get, but try and not let it affect you. Instead, try and appreciate every note that you get. Every like, kudos, comment or reblog, no matter how few or how many, means that someone read what you wrote and appreciated it, isn’t that awesome?! I think it’s epic.Also, if there isn’t an immediate or huge response to your fic, don’t let it discourage you. Don’t stop writing, keep going, write more.

And finally, don’t write for other people, write for yourself.

[maximumsunshine]

Tagged by: @helpmeiminhighschool - like two days ago.  But I’ve been super busy.  Now I have about 40 minutes to kill so I’m ready!

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag blogs you’d like to get to know better!

1. Nicknames: Um mine are 1 shots like only one person is allowed to call me them.  Savi calls me Kare.  No one else can.  My spouse calls my Karebear.  No one else can.  Though for a while, when she was younger, like 4, my 6yo called me that too.  It was super cute.

2. Gender: Agender, gender fluid.  Something like that.  

3. Star sign: Sag

4. Height: 5′6″ish??

5. Time: 2:22pm hold your breath!

6. Birthday: November

7. Favourite bands: Um.  I don’t really have favorite bands.  I’m just ... weird.  I like songs and there are some I’ll always jam to.  But I may not like the band as a whole.

8. Favorite solo artists: Eh, see above.

9. Song stuck in my head: This is Halloween.  Thankfully it’s actually Halloween,  But this doesn’t always correlate.

10. Last movie I watched: Um... American History X.  It was intense and very relative to today even though it came out when I was in high school forever ago.

11. Last show I watched: I... I watched Your Lie In April with my spouse.  I don’t really watch much media.  But I have a standing date night and we watch things and cuddle.

12. When did I create this blog: Not entirely sure.  According to my archive April of 2014.

13. What do I post/reblog: I have a queue that posts a new animal, mostly exotics, every hour 24/7.  Then I live blog all sorts of things.

14. Last thing I googled: The death rate of measles.  It was for a science paper.  Vaccinate your ducking kids!  People die of measles, they won’t die from autism even if vaccines did cause autism.  Which there is no, zero, none, reputable scientific evidence that vaccines cause autism.

15. Do I have any other blogs: I have a WordPress.  www.walkingtheborderline.com  I hardly write over there anymore, but it’s my mental health blog.

16. Do I get asks: Occasionally, and I love each one! < same fam

17. Why I chose my url: So my sister almost died.  She needed a liver transplant and almost didn’t get one.  I made this blog, or at least this url, while she was dying.  So it literally translates to don’t forget me, sister (should you die and go to the afterlife) also her favorite flower is the forget-me-not so it had an extra layer of meaning.  I’ve thought about changing it now that she’s saved, but it’s what all my mutuals and friends know me as, and I don’t like change.  And really I’m rather fond of this url.

18. Following: 900-1000 it fluctuates daily.  I unfollow on a whim and follow jsut as easily.

19: Followers: 413

20. Average hours of sleep: 9-12 depending on what day it is

21. Lucky number: I don’t have one.

22. Instruments: I played the flute for years but I was never as good as I wanted to be at it.

23. What am I wearing: Dress.  Black on top, and pink with sequins on bottom.  This is normal for me.  I’m at work.

24. Dream job: I want to teach psychology and I want to be a therapist.

25. Dream trip: Either exploring different places around Europe, or just going somewhere and being able to explore with my friends < same fam

26. Favourite food: pasta

27. Nationality: American

28. Favourite song(s) right now: This is Halloween.  It’s the time of year.

29: Last book read: A short story called Knit One Girl Two!  It’s an amazing wlw (and Jewish) love story written by Tumblr user @shiraglassman  You can get it on Kindle for only a couple of dollars and you should pick it up!  It makes for a wonderful and light afternoon read!

30. Fictional universe you’d want to join: I’m pretty ok with this universe. If I could just send a few choice (bad) people to an AU of my choosing. 

I’m tagging: @theangriestlittleunicorn  I’ll let her start this going through the frat.