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pboogerswbb · 23 hours ago

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SO IT GOES - chapter 1

Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, drinking Wordcount: 5.4K A/C: another pregame treat!! need my girls to deliver tonight!! anyways, here is chapter one, this one is about to start a little slower and i'm sorry about that but i promise it'll pick up and get more interesting, i got big plans for this one y'all!! anyway please leave feedback/thoughts/reviews whatever for me, i love them :)

Before London

The Dallas roads are busy, stretching out for miles out into the horizon as I stare out the window. My lungs craved fresh air, itching to open it. But I knew the air outside would bring no such relief, the humidity of this time of year already bringing me one step closer to packing my bags and making my way back to Connecticut. Everyone told me to turn the AC on, but I was much too stubborn and stuck in my ways. My dad would have come over himself and turn it off if he knew I was considering turning it on in April - much too early for his liking.

I had been here for a week now, seven long days. Each one making me more homesick. I missed my girls. I missed my team. I missed the normal weather and the East Coast. It was so bad I was on the phone with my dad every night, complaining. I knew as much as he loved me, he was getting sick of it.

“Paige, let’s figure this out,” Britt’s voice comes through the speaker phone, five garment bags sent by her laid out on the bed, ready to be opened.

“What do you even wear to this sorta thing?” I ask, speaking into the phone. My hands are opening one bag after another.

“Baby I dunno, you just gotta pick something. What kinda vibe do you wanna give off?” Brittany asks sweetly as I place my phone on the bed in front of me, pulling my shirt off over my head.

“I can’t think, it’s too hot,” I complain, rubbing my face. “I hate it here, wanna come back.”

“Paige, you gotta push through this. Try and look at it differently, at least you like your teammates!”

I whine and lie down, my back hitting the soft cotton of the sheets. “Do you think they’d let me take my sixth year?”

“Oh my gosh girl you gotta pull yourself together,” Brittany laughs, which in turn makes me laugh too. I knew I was being dramatic, my team was great, the coaching staff seemed amazing. But it was my first time living alone, I didn’t know what to do with myself and all this energy I had. I felt like I was two days away from jumping off the walls.

Lou and Arike had both taken me under their wing, and the few joint practices we’d had with the team the past week seemed promising. Not good, but like there might be potential for something with hard work. I was well taken care of and grateful for it, but the thing is at Uconn I was spoiled. I got to live with my best friends. To spend every moment with them, get on their nerves and not worry because in the end they were my sisters.

“Where are you going?” Britt asks.

“Some sorta steakhouse,” I answer, rubbing my eyes.

“Boujee or like… Texas?”

I snort, grabbing the phone from beside me.

“It’s a nice place I heard. But Rike been here for so long she mighta forgot what nice is,” I joke sitting back up.

“Then go with the blue bag.”

Unzipping it, I find a pair of black shorts, and an oversized dark green crewneck sweatshirt.

“Ion know about this Britt it’s a lil… boring,” I mumble looking over the outfit. When did I last wear dark green anyway.

“That’s why you dress it up girl! Wear a collared shirt under it, put on some chains, some nice shoes, trust it’ll fit the vibe, you don’t wanna be doing too much. Have I ever let you down?”

I sigh. I could see the vision the moment she started talking. “No you have not,” I reply. “I gotta start getting ready. Thanks again.”

“Anytime Paige,” she answers and we hang up. I know silence can’t echo, but it’s so overwhelming it almost feels like that’s exactly what it’s doing. Storrs was always loud, lively. Now I had it so bad I was even missing KK’s neverending rambling.

Quickly putting on a playlist to get rid of the aching pressure on my chest, I begin to get ready, rapping along to a Drake song loudly - but who cares I live alone now. I sleek back my hair, pinning it into a bun - the one hairstyle I knew how to do. I put on some diamond studs, and take my time picking accessories, choosing just the right silver rings to match the chain on my neck, a cross hanging from it. Of course, Brittany had been right. The outfit was great, not too much for a nice restaurant but still totally me.

“Shit,” I mumble to myself when I check the time, realising Lou must be waiting on me downstairs. Grabbing a white cross-body bag I run out the door, quickly making my way down where, just like I thought, the brunette was waiting, tapping on the steering wheel impatiently.

“Sorry I’m late,” I yelp climbing into the passenger seat. Since I barely knew Dallas, Lou had decided it was best if she drove both of us.

Shaking her head, the girl driving merges onto the road swiftly. “Not gonna be making a good impression if we bring our rookie to the party late,” Lou complains.

I scoff, leaning back against the seat and tapping on the back of my phone, feeling butterflies grow in my abdomen. I knew I made good first impressions, that people seemed to like me. I wasn’t called the ultimate rizzler for nothing. But it was still daunting, I was about to meet all the people who worked behind the team, behind me just so we could do what we do.

The past week had been so strange.The change in dynamic was drastic. I had become so used to being the older one, the one to call the shots, to have so much wisdom to give. Almost naively so. All of a sudden I was back to being the baby - the one who didn’t know anything, who had to depend on others. I thought I was prepared. But the transition was hard to navigate. I didn’t quite know how to act, if I was honest.

“Yo chill, I’m not even that late,” I chuckle lightheartedly, looking out the car window, my eyes trying to find something worth changing my mind about Dallas for.

“Ten minutes is too much, we gotta pick up Rike too,” Lou complains, hands on the wheel. It was only April but the humidity made it feel like summer. “Were you late talking to that girl?”

“What girl?” I ask.

“That girl from last night!” Lou laughs, elbowing me.

I shrug, like I had no clue what she was talking about. A complete lie. I hadn’t been thinking straight ever since I saw her.

“Ohh you mean that girl downstairs!” I say sarcastically. The brunette next to me sees right through it though.

“Never heard your voice get so quiet and shaky I swear,” Lou says, a blush setting on the apples of my cheeks thinking back to last evening. “You were fully stuttering.”

“No way bro!” I groan, biting my lower lip so as to not laugh. Though I knew better. I was definitely stuttering.

I hadn’t seen much of the girl, just her face poking through the door into the hallway. But something about her took my breath away, I couldn’t look anywhere else. It was Lou finally elbowing me that made me realise I had been staring at the dark haired girl. She was so beautiful it physically pained me to look away, but with a struggle, I had done so.

But then she spoke. And if I wasn’t trembling before, the lilt of her voice had me weak in the knees immediately. It was deep, yet simultaneously sweet. Nevermind the accent that hadn’t left my head all night. Lou made fun of me relentlessly all night because apparently, my voice was shaking when I talked to her. I think she was full of shit.

“You were, I don’t blame you,” the brunette murmurs. “She was hot.”

I kiss my teeth, looking out the window. “Don’t matter, she could be Zendaya and I still wouldn’t get into all that.”

Lou looks bewildered, eyes flickering between me and the road.

I grin at her, shaking my head. “Nah I’m staying celibate. Scout’s honor. Got me that Natty last season.”

It was true. For the first time last season I had not been involved with any girl - and it worked out pretty well in the end. It got me the ring. Adapting to a new team, new city, new life was already hard enough without fucking around. Girls had a way of making everything complicated.

“You? Celibate?” Lou asks, her tone skeptical. I suppose she remembers a different Paige from when we were both Huskies. I had changed a lot though, grown up.

“Trust,” I nod as we park in front of a nice apartment building, Arike making her way out and into the car.

“Yo,” she greets us, and I nod into the rearview mirror, meeting her gaze.

“Sup my rookie!” Arike grins and squeezes my shoulder. “You ready for tonight?”

“Aren’t we just gonna eat and go home?” I ask but Lou and Rike are quick to shake their heads.

“Nah these things don’t end till late, we know how to party here you know what I’m sayin?” The girl in the back grins.

“Don’t blame you, nothing else to do here,” I complain half-jokingly.

“Yooo not too much. You’ll grow to like it,” Arike laughs, grabbing her phone. “Just don’t drink everything people offer you today, got it?”

“Yeah, everyone’s gonna be trying to get you drunk,” Lou chuckles. “My rookie year they had me almost blacked out.”

“Almost? You were blacked out. We had to carry you to bed.”

I laugh and sigh, rubbing my jaw, my nerves stirring within my abdomen. “Great.”

The restaurant is buzzing with people, an entire second floor reserved just for the Dallas Wings employees. Arike, Lou and I show up fashionably late, but to my pleasant surprise everyone’s too busy huddling around the bar, lining up for drinks. I smooth over my green sweatshirt, already feeling the heat get to me. How the hell was I supposed to dress for weather like this? It wasn’t even summer yet.

I walk over to Satou, who’s grinning widely at me.

“Look at you, our baby rookie. Let’s get you a drink!” She smiles convincingly. I glance at Arike and Lou behind me, snickering amongst themselves already. So it begins.

“Feels wrong to drink at a team event like this,” I tell the taller girl, guiding me towards the bar. I was more used to sneaking drinks into hotel rooms, doing our best to hide them from the coaching staff. Guess this is what growing up feels like.

“Nah, don’t worry. Everyone’s chill here,” Satou laughs and orders us two beers before I have the opportunity to interrupt and ask for a Shirley. Reluctantly I grab the beer, cheering with the girl next to me.

“To the saviour of the Wings!!” She jokes and I roll my eyes, shaking my head.

“Sorry, but could you check if they are Manzanilla olives?”

The accent. I immediately turn my back on Satou, my body working before my mind can as my eyes scan the room. And then I see her. The girl from the apartment underneath mine.

She’s standing at the other end of the bar, holding a black clutch in her hand as she talks with the bartender. Her dark hair is down, in perfect waves, not one strand out of order. The dress she’s wearing isn’t red, but more maroon, shade matching the red of her lipstick to the hilt. The one-shoulder dress leaves her left one completely bare, and the golden jewelry sitting against her light brown skin makes her sparkle in the moody lighting. No words would do justice, I know that much. My knees nearly buckle at the sight of her. This strange girl whose name I didn’t even know, yet kept haunting my existence here in Dallas.

“Oh they’re not? Then nevermind the martini, could I just get a glass of Chardonnay please?”

If I had been nervous before, then it was nothing compared to the way my stomach was stirring now. Which is insane considering I didn’t even know this girl’s name. Hell, I better just avoid her tonight. I’m not on my a game. I should just keep my distance.

“Paige! That’s the girl!” Lou is half whispering, half screaming over the crowd, incredibly obviously pointing at the dark haired girl. To my relief she doesn’t notice, too busy swirling the wine in her glass around and sniffing it.

“Shut up,” I mouth to Lou as she walks up to me, Arike on her tail.

“What girl?” Arike whispers, already eyeing every woman over my shoulder.

I give Lou a look, widening my eyes and telling her to keep her mouth shut. But of course, it fails. I had no power here.

“We ran into this hot girl in Paige’s building yesterday and Paigey here got all shy and nervous.”

Arike bursts out laughing, and I’m pretty sure my face was going completely pink at this point. So I sip half of my beer quickly, letting the girls get over their laughing fit.

“You done?” I ask in annoyed, eyeing the girls.

Gasping for air, Arike nods and grins at me. “Well go get her.”

“She can’t, she’s celibate,” Lou answers. The shorter girl standing next to her scoffs, clearly finding amusement in that.

“Yeah, good luck with that. You’re the new hooper in town, gon’ be drowning in pussy. I was,” she says, sipping her beer. “The rookie year is crazy.”

“Oh trust, she was drowning in it at Uconn too-”

“Okay okay, chill guys,” I interrupt the conversation, Satou standing next to us quietly and chuckling to herself.

“So which one is it?” Arike asks. Glancing over my shoulder I see the girl from downstairs talking to some guy around the same age as her. Just as I’m about to point her out, Satou and Arike are waving that exact guy over.

“Yo Trey!! My guy!!”

All of a sudden he’s walking over with her. I feel my face going red, my breathing growing ragged, my eyes quickly flicking to the floor. She was like the sun, as much as I wanted to I couldn’t look directly at her - it might blind me.

“What’s up, my favourite girls!” The guy - Trey, apparently - says brightly and dabs all of them up.

“Ahh and the prodigy!” He grins, turning to me. I lick my lower lip and smile back, offering my hand. “I’m the guy with the camera, you’ll see me around. Trey.”

I dab him up, ignoring the tingling on the left side of my body where the dark haired girl is standing, evidently feeling as awkward as I was. Except she was better at hiding it, looking around the room with an air of confidence.

“Well I’m the one with the basketball, you’ll know where to find me. I’m Paige,” I flash him my most charming smile. Everyone laughs at my joke, except the girl beside me. I quickly decide that perhaps getting drunk wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

“Oh this is Zari, she’s new from England, Linda finally hired someone to work on the social media shit,” Trey explains, pointing to the girl between me and him. I blink stupidly when I look at her. Somehow she was more beautiful up close which made my throat feel tighter. I quickly sip my beer again, looking to the ceiling. Fuck, pull yourself together. I wasn’t this superficial - feeling like this just because someone was hot. Who knows, she might be the worst person you’ve ever met.

“That would be me, hi!” She says when I realise I was barely listening to Trey before, completely not making note of her name. She shakes everyone’s hand, smiling kindly. Fuck, are my hands sweaty? Better wipe them on my shorts first. I gotta make eye contact - I’m sure a couple seconds will be enough. It might be all I can bear.

The girl turns to me, her right hand extended. I glance at it, gripping it gently. Her hand shake is surprisingly firm, but I barely notice, feeling as if my skin is on fire. The moment our eyes meet I look away, knowing that everyone and their mothers could tell I was blushing right now.

“I forgot your name,” is all that comes out of my mouth, so clumsily I wanna hide behind the bar and never come out when I realise how rude it sounded.

To my shock she’s not taken aback at all by my bluntness, instead holding herself with an almost regal air. I wasn’t sure if I was intimated or turned on - either way I was overcome with a desperate need to make her like me. Surely I was off to a horrible start.

Our eyes meet again. Hers are dark green, deep and rich like the pine trees back home. I can feel myself wanting to sink in deeper, to bask in their familiarity. To feel the sting of cold air and smell the snow falling from the sky and to bask in the scent of pine all over me. Before I know it I notice her glossed lips move, but my ears barely pick anything up. An I? And I think there was an A at the end? You gotta be kidding me.

“I- Ivanna?” I stutter. She chuckles softly, as the others around us snicker amongst themselves. Bitches.

“No, darling, let’s try again,” she smiles, her tone so sweet it’s bordering on condescending. I fucking swoon at it. “Izara.”

I nod, not sure if the heat on my face is from how hot and humid it was inside the restaurant, or from the public humiliation in front of this gorgeous girl. I chuckle mostly to myself, rubbing my jaw and looking around to break eye contact finally. Far too distracting.

“Izara,” I repeat, noticing Satou, Arike, Lou and some of the others laughing at my clumsy behaviour. I was just begging Izara didn’t make note of why I was acting a fool.

“Zari is better,” the brunette says, a slight teasing tone to her voice. I breathe heavily out my nose, trying to get the blush to settle from my cheeks.

“Zari, got it.”

“Took you long enough,” Arike teases, making everyone laugh, except Zari who just smiles at me.

“Guys, not all of us are used to the Texas heat. It messes with your head,” she says with enough authority in her voice to make everyone around us stop laughing and give me sympathetic looks.

“Uhh yeah, it’s hot,” I answer bluntly, my voice shaking a little as I rub my neck. On top of the mess I was, I could feel myself sweating. I have to get home as fast as possible. Or not home. But back to the apartment I was staying in for now, until the moment I could go back home to the East Coast.

“Shit, I’m Paige by the way,” I say, realising I never introduced myself to Zari. She scoffs, waving me off.

“Paige, it’s my job to know who you are,” she points out. It’s funny, and I want to laugh. But nothing comes out of my mouth, I’m simply unable to, her proximity leaving me completely discombobulated. So I just sip my beer.

“Right.”

Paige Bueckers hates me. The moment she met me I could tell. Maybe she was offended by the fact I didn’t recognise her last night. Figures, a star like her would have a huge ego. Still, I had one job tonight. To make her like me. And I had done the exact opposite. I could tell by the way she avoided my gaze, the way she barely wanted to shake my hand, abruptly pulling it away from my grip. She barely talked to me, wrapped up in a conversation with everyone besides me. I couldn’t afford to disappoint my boss, if I did it would be bye bye Dallas and hello London.

I’m sitting between Trey and another colleague, Ava, both caught up in a lively conversation as I cut a piece of my steak, wrapping my lips around the fork and chewing on it. Glancing up from my plate, I see Paige throwing her head back as she laughs with her teammates, her entire demeanor so much more lively now that I wasn’t close to her. A slight irritation was growing in me, watching the carefree way she’s joking around with the people around her part of the long table. Who was she to make up her mind on whether she liked me so fast. I was the kind of person you grew to love. I’m sure she would as well.

“Okay everybody!” Curt Miller stands up clinking his glass with the cutlery. Suddenly everyone goes quiet, including the blonde. For a second our eyes meet, sending a strange jolt around my body. Blinking, I shift my gaze to the man, clearly ready to give a speech.

“Alright alright,” he laughs, “I just wanna thank everyone for coming here tonight. I was never good at these so let me keep it short. This is gonna be a big, exciting year and I’m so grateful to the Wings for giving me this opportunity. I know I’m a new face to some of you, but I’m in great company,” he grins and points to Paige. “And Linda here mentioned something about a new media employee too!”

Like on cue Linda stands up a few chairs to the right of me, nodding. “Yes Curt, we’ve got some young blood to help this year all the way from England. Izara here, should help us grow our social media reach.”

I smile, trying to focus on appearing together and poised, some people glancing towards me.

“Awesome news!” Curt grins as Linda sits back down. “With two young talents I’m sure we’re gonna have a hell of a year,” he says, glancing at both me and Paige. I see Arike rub Paige’s shoulder, clearly excited and happy about how the lottery turned out for the Wings this year.

“Now since I’m boring everyone out of their minds why don’t you two say a few words.”

Pause. I feel a panic rise from somewhere deep in my abdomen. Don’t get me wrong, I had no issue with public speaking, no issue with performing. What I did have an issue with was improvising. I was the girl who planned, who made lists, who used to finish her essays the day before a deadline. With a plan I was golden, but to expect me to say anything, planless, was causing jitters. I was just hoping it didn’t show on my face.

Mine and Paige’s eyes meet, and I immediately know that I wasn’t as composed as I wanted to be. That she knew I was panicking. Bet this is just gonna make her hate me more.

Instead, to my surprise, she clears her throat and begins speaking with an easy confidence.

“Uh well, way to throw us under the bus Curt,” she jokes, immediately making everyone chuckle, including me. “Guess I know what kinda season this is about to be.” Another round of laughs around the table giving her time to scratch the back of her neck as she thinks. With a slight smirk on her face she continues.

“This is a big moment for me. I grew up with the sport, already knew I had a chance to go pro when I was eight. I’ve been waiting for a while to get to the league and to finally be here… It’s surreal. I feel really blessed, really grateful,” she says looking at her plate and then letting out a sly, quiet laugh. “Crazy that I’m drinking with the coaching staff right there, I’m so used to having to hide it.”

I chuckle with the rest of the group. There’s something about her, a smoothness, a charm that makes it impossible not to like her. Even improvising like this she seems completely in control, like she knows she’s got everyone wrapped around her finger. It’s impressive. I can’t look away.

“Geno didn’t let you drink?” Curt asks lightheartedly, making Paige’s blue eyes widen.

“He would’ve put belt to ass, lemme just say that.”

More laughter. Paige looks around meeting my gaze.

“Zari, I know you got that cold right? So maybe I should just speak for you so you have a voice tomorrow?”

Huh? I furrow my brows looking at her confused, but her eyes won’t budge, boring into mine. And then I realise. She’s trying to let me off the hook.

“Yes please,” I smile back, looking down to my lap. Something about the way she did that all for me, picked up on my nerves, found a way to get me out of it, was making my insides flip. You wouldn’t do that for someone you hate I suppose.

“I gotchu,” Paige grins, looking back to everyone around the table. “I think we’re both just really grateful for the opportunity and really excited for the season. Anyway, thanks guys.”

Everyone claps and I do too, my heart warming at the way Paige Bueckers had just saved me.

“Wait, you're sick?” Trey whispers.

“Uh, a little.”

“Hope you feel better Zari!” Ava says as I wave bye, walking towards the exit.

“Thanks guys, I’m sure I will,” I say, knowing I felt just fine. Great even, after a few glasses of wine. As I step out into the evening, I hold my fur coat in my hands, too hot to put it on. To my surprise I see Paige standing right outside the restaurant, scrolling on her phone. Interrupted by the tapping of my heels, she lifts her gaze, the intensity of her blue eyes surprising.

“Hey,” she smiles, avoiding looking at my face again. She was really giving me mixed signals.

“Hi there,” I say, walking closer. “Thanks for rescuing me earlier.”

She looks at the parking lot, a sly smirk spreading across her face.

“Nah, you’re good,” the blonde grins, diamond studs in her ears sparkling. “Not a fan of speeches?”

I shrug, taking that as an invite for conversation. “No I can certainly be… If you give me approximately two weeks to prepare. Minimum.”

Paige chuckles, nodding to herself. “You’re that kinda girl huh?”

“Desperately so.”

She shifts on her feet, looking for something to say.

“That’s a good trait to have, I try to plan too but usually doesn’t last for longer than a week or two,” she explains. I nod knowingly.

“My brother’s a bit like that,” I sigh. I was already missing him.

Paige turns to me, looking for my gaze.

“You got a brother?”

I nod, “Yeah, he’s younger. Your age.”

She’s taken aback. “Hollup how old are you?”

“Turned 25 last month.”

“Damn,” she says before thinking. I scoff, my eyes widening, though finding amusement in her reaction

”Are you calling me old?” I ask with a serious tone, her face immediately going bright red.

”No, no no, not at all. You look… great. Amazing, and like. That’s not even old, I'm just trippin’. I just assumed you were my age but like a year is nothin-” she rambles, tripping over her words.

”Paige I’m taking the piss,” I laugh. She stops, looking at me confused.

”You’re what?”

Oh right, Americans. ”I’m joking around.”

She laughs. ”Taking the piss?”

I laugh too, the air immediately easing between us.

”I’mma start using that,” Paige chuckles, glancing at me.

”You’re welcome,” I grin.

She scoffs. ”I didn’t say thank you.”

”You should,” I demand, more seriously, meeting her blue eyes. She immediately folds, blinking her long lashes.

”Thank you.”

I suddenly feel hot, warmth rising to my cheeks. I quickly look back to the ground, the intensity of her gaze too much right now.

”Hey, uh… I think we live in the same building,” she murmurs, watching the sky. Shit, she had recognised me, of course.

”Yeah… I’m sorry I didn’t recognise you. I really should have,” I quickly explain, feeling a little abashed but trying not to let it show.

”No, I just meant, I ordered an Uber. You need a ride?”

Oh. So she wasn’t mad. She was offering me a ride.

”I’d love one. Are you sure?”

”Totally,” Paige answers, smiling at me softly. She fans her own face, trying to find any relief for the heat.

”Shit it’s hot,” the blonde groans. ”Do you mind if I take this off? I got a shirt underneath.”

”Oh, no go ahead darling,” I tell her.

With a sigh, Paige’s hands grip the back of her green sweatshirt, pulling it over her head. As she does my eyes can’t help it, flickering over her lower abdomen where both shirts have hiked up, showing a sliver of pale skin and black boxers peeking out of her shorts. Something about it makes my throat go dry. I’m not exactly sure what. The feeling almost unfamiliar to me.

”That’s so much better,” Paige groans with relief, fixing the white oversized button up, chains resting against her chest. I feel my ears growing hot, quickly averting her gaze.

She’s not horrible, on top of being gorgeous she’s fucking great - funny, sweet, charismatic. Would be so much easier if Zari was an asshole like I had hoped earlier. I could feel butterflies in my stomach every time she looked at me. That familiar warmth that I knew too well.

We walk to the Uber together, and I make sure I open the door for her - I didn’t know her that well, but I could tell she was classy. On a whole different level than me.

I climb in after her, unbuttoning more of my shirt for some airflow. For a second I think I catch her staring, but I knew it was unlikely. She was definitely giving me straight girl vibes. Of course my stupid ass was ogling after a straight girl - nothing new to me. My eyes immediately land on her thighs, her legs crossed and pressing together as she sits next to me. Okay, get a grip Paige.

”So… How you liking Dallas?” I ask, unable to take the silence in the car.

”I haven’t seen much of it, just moved the other day,” she answers, her voice low but smooth, I could’ve listened to her talk all night. ”It’s very humid.”

”Damn that jetlag gotta be hitting hard huh?” I ask, looking at her.

”I look tired?” She asks, offended. An immediate panic takes over, my hands gripping the sweater in my hands. Shit.

”No you look fucking great. I would’ve never th-”

”Paige. I’m joking.”

Oh. I let out a sigh of relief, chuckling awkwardly. I look out the window, shaking my head at myself. I really needed to chill.

”Taking the piss?”

She lets out a loud, bright laugh, grabbing my forearm. The gold rings on her digits sparkle as her long, manicured nails dig into the white shirt. Immediate goosebumps rising underneath on my skin tell me I’m completely fucked.

“Exactly!” She gleams, her smile wide. “You did so good.”

That. I need to hear her say that again. I clear my throat to interrupt the bad thoughts, feeling Zari’s hand move off me, skin tingling as the weight of her touch lifts.

We pull up to our apartment building, both of us climbing out.

“I can transfer you some money for the ride,” Zari suggests as I let her into the building, eyes falling on her ass just for a second. Okay, no. Look away.

“No, Ion need you to,” I tell her sternly as we begin to climb up the flights of steps, her heels tapping against the tile of the floor. The sound echoes off the walls until we stop by her front door, silence draping over us, making me painfully aware of the way my heart was pounding in my chest.

“Well,” Zari smiles, turning to me, her green eyes even more prominent with the dark makeup surrounding them. Only then I notice how catlike they are, sharp and alert. Challenging almost.

I wanna say something smart, something witty. Something to make her laugh, or blush. I’m rummaging through my brain for anything coherent at least.

“I’ll see you at work,” she says, opening her door. I was running out of time.

“You’ll know where to find me,” I stupidly let out. Zari turns to look at me one more time and nods.

“Don’t stomp too loud please.”

With that she gets in, leaving me there with nothing to do but blink at the closed door and notice the flutters around my stomach. Rubbing my jaw, I slowly climb up one more flight of stairs, mind spinning around the girl. Completely, utterly out of my league. It only made me want her more.

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myth1cs · 2 days ago

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Deal of Lust (Im Nayeon x M!Reader)

Remastered version of my first smut because it SUCKS. (I'll give Nayeon a new smut ... eventually ... maybe)

Word Count: 1,309

Walking into school you walked around with caution making sure you didn't bump into a certain someone.

You were almost to your first period class but before you reached it you were grabbed and brought into an empty classroom.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to avoid me."

"What no, I'm just really tired."

"Mhm, Anyways Y/N I trust you did my pre-calculus work."

"Actually I was studying for my exam last night so I wasn't able to finish it."

"You piece of shit!"

Nayeon smacked you and you fell to the floor. She grabbed you by your hair and lifted your head up.

"It's due today. Since you didn't finish it your going to pay."

Nayeon was about to hit you and you raised your hand in order to block her punch but before she hit you the sound of the doorknob twisting made Nayeon let go of you.

"Is there someone in here?"

The person who stepped through the door was the president of student council Park Jihyo.

"Oh Y/N you're so clumsy you have to stop falling down." Nayeon started caressing your face and helped you stand up.

"What are you guys doing in here?"

"Me and Y/N wanted to study on our own so we came in here. We were just about to leave but Y/N tripped and fell to the floor."

"Is this true Y/N."

You looked at Jihyo wanting to tell the truth but when you turned to look at Nayeon she gave you a "I'll kill you if you tell her." look.

"Yeah, I fell down I'm kinda clumsy like that."

"Okay well you guys can't be in a classroom without a teacher present so I'm advising you guys to go to the library if you want to study."

"Understood president Park, it won't happen again. Right Y/N?"

"R-right."

Once you all left the room Nayeon waited for Jihyo to be out of sight before she spoke to you.

"You're lucky she came in when she did. Have my homework done by 5th period or you'll regret it, got that?"

"Yes Nayeon."

She turned around and walked to her first period class leaving you in the hallway.

"Damn it why do I let myself get pushed around by her?"

Im Nayeon was the popular girl in school. Even saying that is an understatement she is what many saw as the person every student should aspire to be like. However you're the only one who knows the "real" Nayeon.

Once she realized you were the highest performing in school she started bullying you into doing her work and giving her test answers. She used the threat of beating your ass to keep you in check.

Reporting her would do nothing as everyone including staff had a false view of her and wouldn't take you seriously so you never bothered to do so.

You really wanted to finish her homework to avoid being punished but you were busy in every class. 1st period you had the exam you were studying for last night, 2nd period you had to work on a lab, 3rd period you were working on a project, and 4th period you had to help your art teacher set up for an after school event in the gym.

As the bell for fifth period came you tried to get to your class as fast as possible before Nayeon could find you. You settled for the longer path to your class assuming that Nayeon would assume you would take the shorter path to get to your class quicker.

However you didn't anticipate that she would correctly guess your actions and you saw her standing in the hallway as you turned the corner. "Oh shit!"

You tried turning around to run but before you could Nayeon grabbed you and brought you into the janitors closet.

"Where's my homework loser?"

"I don't have it!"

"Is that so? You know what happens now."

"No wait Nayeon please I'll do anything! Just please don't hit me."

"Anything I want?"

"Yes! Anything, just please don't hit me."

Nayeon grabbed your chin and made you face her. Laying your eyes on her you felt as if her demeanor changed from the one that was present just a moment earlier.

"You know Y/N there is one way you could make it up to me."

She put her fingers on the waistband of her pants and pulled her pants down.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

Once her pants were all the way down you noticed her pink pantie she was wearing but quickly averted your eyes.

"What's wrong Y/N? Do you not like what you see?"

You were unable to say to get words out of your mouth but eventually you were able to muster out a sentence "Please put your clothes back on."

"Don't be such a baby Y/N. Now look at me or I'll punish you."

Turning around to look at Nayeon you tried your best to focus on her face but you couldn't help yourself from trying to get a quick glance at her pantie.

"Go on Y/N stare at my clothed pussy." She put her finger inside her pantie and started to finger herself.

You watched her finger herself and felt your cock grow.

"Y/N if you fuck my pussy everyday then I'll stop bullying you."

"R-really?" You were surprised that her compromise was really lewd.

"Is that a yes or should I beat your face in now?"

Well who were you to deny her?

Walking up to Nayeon you pushed her to the wall and lowered yourself so you were facing her pantie.

"Go on give yourself a better view Y/N."

Putting your fingers on her pantie and dragging it down you got a clear view of Nayeon's wet pussy. Without hesitation you inserted your tongue into her pussy. She let out loud moans but covered her mouth quickly as to not draw attention to the closet both of you were in.

"Gah ~ ah ~ ah"

Hearing the noises coming from her made you want to go faster. You lapped every single inch of her pussy you could get your tongue on.

Nayeon took her shirt off and made quick work of her bra. Her breasts were now out in full display. She started to pinch and twist her nipples for further stimulation.

Pulling out of her sweet pussy you went up and kissed her letting her get a taste of herself. "Mhm ~ you're such a good kisser Y/N."

You reached for her pussy with your fingers and fingered Nayeon. She moaned into your mouth and you decided to explore her mouth with your tongue.

Nayeon felt overstimulated from everything she was experiencing and ended up cumming all over your fingers. So much cum came out that some dripped onto the floor.

"Agh ~ Y/N ... so ... good."

You licked the fluid she sprayed on your fingers: licking every last drop. "Do I taste good Y/N?"

"Yes Nayeon you taste amazing."

"Lucky for you you'll be able to taste this every day."

....

"Should we leave?"

"Probably not school staff is likely roaming the hallways looking for us since we haven't reported to our fifth period."

"So what now Nayeon?"

"We could just fuck until sixth period."

No words needed to be exchanged for her to know that you wanted to take her up on that offer.

The janitors closet was once again filled with moans for the rest of the period.

...

Jihyo was making her way to the bathroom and was passing by the janitors closet when she heard a moan. It was low but loud enough for her to hear.

She slowly crept towards it and laid on the floor to look inside from the crack under the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I prefer this over what I wrote originally. I'd like to think I've improved since I started writing and hopefully that continues.

#nayeon smut #girl group smut #kpop smut #smut #twice #twice smut #twice x reader #nayeon #im nayeon #female idol smut #nayeon x reader

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starburstminibot · 22 hours ago

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Ok, seeing the post about the playlist, you mentioned how Breakdown only gets his act together after finding out that Bee was carrying

So it got me thinking (and this has actually been in my mind since i first came across the au tbh), but how was it while Bee was like, carrying?? There's the fact that, at first, many of the bots probably don't like Breakdown too since, well, he was not the best bf let's be honest.

Idk, I'm just curious to how things were before Breakcheck came to see the world

(Im going out of town for a week and cant draw so im just answering this with a straight up fanfiction-esk paragraph I’m so sorry wish I could be artistic for you anon)

Long story short: the Autobots are very forgiving but they can also be petty motherfuckers.

I mean they welcomed Megatron among their ranks and treat him (for the most part) as an equal and sometimes even a friend. Of course, Megatron earned that trust after years and years of repentance.

I imagine Breakdown is going through a similar arc. He’s never really been THAT loyal to the Decepticon cause. He just… kinda ended up there and didn’t care enough to do anything about it. He views Autobots as these goody, righteous people that he doesn’t feel like he belongs with. So really… what’s left besides Decepticons (considering yourself a neutral at one point was pretty much a death wish. A faction was the only way to acquire any sort of Energon or medical attention. Something Optimus tried hard to avoid, but the reality was safety in numbers.) the only kinship Breakdown ever felt was with the Stunticons… and they’ve been scattered to who knows where… if they’re even still alive.

Except he did have one friend. A friend he’s somehow managed to keep despite being on opposite sides of the war. He tried to convince Bee to join the Decepticons a few times but it was never with genuine intent. Bee was too good for the Cons; Breakdown knew that. He asked to get a rile out of him more than anything. Of course Bee would retort with his own argument of why BD should defect. He was serious about it… but Breakdown knew his place. He’d already done too much…

Now the war is over. And the leader of his faction doesn’t even believe in the cause anymore. Now, Breakdown’s never been a fan of Megatron anyways, but he sure as hell is pissed off when he abandons them to go be buddies with the Autobots. Maybe Breakdown is a little jealous (Of course, he’d never admit it) That Megatron, possibly the cruelest and most unforgiving of them all, is allowed to be redeemed.

He feels betrayed. All the Decepticons do really… He feels like he was led down a path that would only end in self destruction and at the last moment, the one who was paving the way jumped ship, leaving them all to suffer the consequences alone.

He never even wanted this.

But it’s way too late now. He dug this grave and he’s going to see to it that he’s buried in it. But despite the betrayal, and most of the Decepticons now stabbing each other in the back, trying to claim whatever power they can while holding on to this flimsy cause they can barely call a functioning faction, he still has Bee… who is maybe more than just a friend at this point but that’s a lot of feelings Breakdown isn’t ready to unpack.

And he still runs every time it feels a little too good to be true. Still proclaims his loyalty to the Decepticons because he’s too stubborn to admit he’s on a sinking ship. And he still keeps his distance because he refuses to take Bumblebee down with him when it finally goes under.

And maybe they’ve got a fling going… and maybe the autobots start to catch on. It doesn’t matter though, Breakdown doesn’t stick around long enough to see their sneers.

Until… he finds out Bee’s carrying that is… because damn he may not be the best bot in the galaxy but he’s not a complete deadbeat.

And when it hits him… that he’s going to be a sire… well maybe… he start’s sticking around to see the sneers. He hears the mumbles of disapproval. And boyyy does it make him so angry at first. How dare these holier-than-thou bots. They don’t know him or what he’s had to do to survive. How many comrades he’s lost thanks to them. They don’t know what Bee means to him. They don’t know just how much he loves Bumblebee. How he would lay down his spark for him in a klick.

Then Breakdown questions… Does Bee even know that?

From then on… Breakdown realizes, preserving his ego isn’t worth this. He has a chance now. A real honest chance. To do better… to have the life he actually wants… with the one bot who hasn’t ever given up on him.

He wants it so bad.

So he puts up with the comments and the obvious distrust. Because he’s willing to put in the work it takes to earn it. He’s going to prove how much he wants this. He’s going to prove how much he cares. He’s going to prove he is capable of doing better… and maybe along the way he’ll learn… he’s deserving of better too…

Breakdown is lucky Bumblebee has always been a little spoiled because it didn’t take too much convincing for the autobots to give him a shot. To attempt to accept him into their ranks.

He thought Optimus would be the worst of it. The one who practically raised the bot Breakdown knocked up. And for a while it is. Optimus lectures him every chance he gets. Any small hiccup, any little mistake. He doesn’t go easy on breakdown. Optimus at least pretends to be polite about it, or at least professional.He doesn’t yell, or make unnecessary insults. His words are always very honest (which makes them that much harder to hear) but Breakdown will take it… he’ll sit through it, no matter how hard he has to bite his tongue against saying something he’ll regret. He knows how thin the ice is. But he’ll do it for Bee.

The others are a little more brutal… Elita especially so… they are more sharp with their words (and sometimes their blasters) letting him know just what they think of him.

But no… the worst of all… is Megatron. Because Megatron is probably the only bot in the whole faction who looks at him and empathizes. Breakdown doesn’t want empathy. Especially not from the damn bot who betrayed him. Megatron doesn’t give lectures, he doesn’t verbally or physically abuse him when he steps out of line. He barely even raises his voice. And it pisses Breakdown off more than anything. Sometimes he slips up in front of Megatron just to push his boundaries, just to see if he can break this peaceful facade the ex-brutal-dictator seems to be taking. He’s witnessed the warlord beat bots into scrap for far less… and yet… Megatron won’t. Megatron seems to be attempting to guide Breakdown, to offer a new start to their relationship, and Primus Breakdown wants nothing to do with it. He’d rather be lectured and assigned extra training.

And it takes a long while… longer than Bee’s carrying term, and a little while into Breakcheck’s sparklinghood for the Autobots to really start to come around to him. Optimus’ lectures seem to have a bit of fondness to them. And perhaps Breakdown listens a bit more earnestly and takes to heart some of the genuine advice the Prime gives him. And maybe the sparring with Elita has turned less from a one-sided fight and into an enjoyable workout. And MAYBE… he doesn’t intentionally push Megatron as much, and has come to a realization of his own that his Megatron… is nothing like the one who betrayed him… and perhaps there is more in common between them than he’d like to admit.

And when people look at him now, he’s not just the Con Bumblebee has been sneaking around with. He’s a Sire… and a devoted Conjux…

And maybe this is what he’s always wanted. And he can be deserving of it too.

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m4rs-ex3 · 1 day ago

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ok i'm so terribly sorry to be saying this but i'm kind of ok with sorvus not becoming canon canon

i know we were pretty much all expecting something but it doesn't feel like we were robbed; it doesn't feel like we were teased or led along or, ahem, baited. the show absolutely knows what it has but it's not a case where they choose to ignore it and it's incredibly frustrating. something tdp is very good about is not fully committing to something big (ie rayllum proposal) but gives you enough to satisfy + enough to allow for more future exploration (ie rayllum in episode 5 [sorry i have to make everything about rayllum jk im not sorry]). they take every opportunity to show how much soren and corvus care about each other and their chemistry is an unstoppable force.

in addition to the fact that it is by zero means not not canon even if they're not exactly canon, i think it works with the story. even being the world's biggest shipper who cares about a show's relationships pretty much more than anything else, i low-key hate it when a million couples are thrown in your face at once, especially in finales where it's like "ok the day is saved everyone's found love!!! isn't that so great!!!!!! happy ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!" this was part of the reason i was a little put off by terry's existence in the very beginning because it was just like.... do we really need another couple? even if i didn't dislike their relationship. and that's also why i'm so happy with the way they turned out because i love it when there are relationships that just don't work out (unless i have any sort of attachment to the ship in that case fuck you they should have been together forever [but then again if it feels like the only reason a relationship ends is because the writers said so then i kind of consider that bad writing anyway]). in the case of sorvus, i certainly wouldn't have been opposed if they'd gotten together near the end (especially since rayllum, yk, were already together so it wouldn't have felt they were fighting for attention), but it feels kinda right that they didn't. rayllum is the main event whether you like it or not and i'm very glad that they stuck with that. it wouldn't have exactly been fair to sorvus either, would it?

and, of course, this leaves so much more opportunity for them. especially if we get arc 3, but either way there's no way we won't get something of their quest. so this way they get their own spotlight, and they get way more time to develop to that point (which is another reason i don't believe they should've gotten together in s7 because there was just too much going on and even though their relationship has gotten lots of time it still would've been like "oh! ok! they're together! ok! what's happening!")

at the end of the day they are 110% in love - we know that, tdp knows that, and we don't need to see them make out for it to click (just like s5-early s6 rayllum to harken back to that unavoidable comparison), even if it might've been nice

#I AM ONE OF YOU BTW I LOVE SORVUS #IN CASE IT WASN'T CLEAR #sorvus #tdp s7 #tdp spoilers #tdp #the dragon prince #continuethesaga #giveusthesaga

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vulpixisananimal · 2 days ago

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[A:3 C:59] (Ramos) [TW for: Graphic violence and blood.]

(Ugh, what time was it? The sun was just peeking through the window, ah, morning twilight. You turn in bed and feel next to you. . . Oh! Siffrin got up already. On the far side you can see Isa still snoring away. Heh, you were kinda impressed.)

(You yawn and get up. Siffrin must have not slept very well, poor fella. They didn’t take the news that Merlon and Perci were back to their bullshit very well. But it’s alright, you all agreed to be careful and make plans for how to deal with them today. . .)

(. . . You quickly get dressed. Yeah, you should check on Sif. Make sure he’s okay, maybe go on a jog- no, no you’ll do gardening. Or maybe play cards! You did like playing cards back in the day. . . And, by back in the day that was, five or six months ago? Stars. . . Being frozen really sucked.)

(You glance at the dreamlight. . . Maybe later.)

(You open the door, walk downstairs, nice and quiet. It sounded like everyone was still asleep, heh, maybe it was Asterion who woke up and was making breakfast. You hoped he was okay, he seemed stressed, too. Especially because of. . . That.)

(You shake your head. Plan today? Probably get those prescriptions for Sif, get supplies, shop, all that. Maybe go visit Ark? Maybe, if Null trusts you enough anyways. You make it downstairs to see that everything was just like yesterday. . .)

(. . . . . Eri would be making coffee right about now.)

(You shake your head. Can’t think about that right now. It doesn’t look like Sif is in the living room, sooo you continue into the kitchen.)

(There’s a chopping board out, as well as some ingredients to make some egg concoction you think. Scrambled eggs? Something like that? It looks like they only got started a little bit ago.)

(. . . What’s that sound?)

(Crying? Yeah it. . . It sounded like, quiet crying, and mumbling. Looking around, the side door that led to the pantry was open. You walk over to it.)

(Siffrin. . . Asterion? You don’t know, but they were curled up on the ground, shaking, mumbling something, and didn’t even notice you approach.)

(. . You kneel down in front of them and talk softly.) “. . . Sif? Is, everything. . ?”

“--‘msorry--” (Their eye locks on you, still shaking, you could barely understand them.) “msorryms-sosorr-”

[JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!!!]

(You wince, that was. . Loops voice, Loops thoughts, you, okay, breathe, focus- |P-please I’mplease’msorrsorry-| Oh, oh stars-)

|P-please, i-ithurts-- I-I--|

[Good! That’s what I WANT!!!]

(Oh night. T-that’s- what do you do?!? You look around, no-one’s up!! You couldn’t leave him alone!! A-and, you promised him- STARS!! You shake your head, then breathe, and gently place your hand on their head.)

(You breathe. . . In. . . . Out. . . . Let the world, wash, away.)

(. . . It was easier this time. You blink, and you’re there once again. Lightless sky, stars, sea. But you can’t focus on any of that, you turn.)

(Asterion, he looks so different here. Shackled wrists, blood on his hands; he was crumpled at the base of the favor tree. Loop was looming over him, kicking him over and over again. Null was crouched down with a knife ready to stab.)

(Y-you, you didn’t know what to do. You stood a few feet away, watching. It was the KING! The person who, w-who, who ruined your life!! B-but, you felt like, l-like it was- RAMOS?!?)

[WHAT?!?!]

(You’re running forward as Loop is already turning to look at you! Get AWAY, what are you doing?!?! You shove them to the side.)

(You turn and slap his hand away. Are you insane?!?! Of COURSE it’s my business!!)

[SHUT THE HELL UP!!! You have your dagger, you point it at them. This is NOT! YOUR! BUSINESS!!!]

(You place yourself between them and Asterion. I promised him to help talk to you guys once he was ready! Just, calm down a second and LISTEN!! Your body’s collapsed on the floor this is causing ISSUES!!)

[I’M NOT-]

(W-wait! You run up, next to Loop. It’s. . . A-at, at least hear him out?!? You know Ramos isn’t lying, you could feel your body, there was so much going on it was hard to properly move around. Please?)

[OF COURSE NOT! THEY’RE-]

[(A Stranger! What kind of stranger could we trust with the King? What kind of person would we be?)]

[GO. AWAY.]

(Loops body seemed. . . Glitchy? You heard that word before, when something is flickering in a way that makes no sense. Right, Saffron. Loop do you-]

[Not. From. YOU!!]

[(You’re fine! You’re just going to get rid of the problem! Then The Trainee can leave and it’ll all be fine! Wouldn’t we want that?)]

(Saffron! You turn to Null, then Siffrin, what should you do?)

(Wh-!! You stare down at Null. He- oh, he’s giving you a look. O-okay okay I, I’ll beg and- just listen, please?!?)

[(. . . Hehe. Begging? From the King? From the Trainee? Why not! I like listening.)]

[. . . . Eugh, why bother. You KNOW what happened with the King last time you heard him out.]

(He’s not, he’s NOT the King! He’s not like him, okay? You lean down and offer your hand to Asterion.)

|. . . You, take their hand.|

[HE seems to think he is! Look at him, he’ll stab you in the back, I KNOW IT!!]

(He’s afraid! A-and, listen just, listen, okay? Please.)

[. . . . . .]

(. . . . . Okay?)

[. . . . . You have one chance.]

(O-okay, okay. . . Asterion, he’s only been kind, okay? He, he feels BAD for what h- the King did, okay? Look at him, he’s, he’s nothing like that, t-that-)

[Monster?]

<Murderer?>

(. . . Y-yeah. You help Asterion to his feet, he looks bruised, and hurt. He's nothing like that, if he WAS like the King, then, he’d look more like him, right? Without blood, without shackles.)

|. . . T-thank you-|

[Oh and you can just tell, can’t you? You can just TELL that he’s nothing like that by how he ACTS?!? Oh, o(h Trainee you rat! You know just how well someone can act, can’t you! So of course you’d know he’s lying to everyone.)]

(W-what do you-)

(Saff!!)

[Oh WHAT!! Stardust, do you want me to say it?!? How we STILL don’t trust them!?!?! After ALL THIS TIME?!?! Because it’s true~]

(I, Loop. You look at Ramos, Null, e-even Asterion. . . Loop I, I don’t get why you’re being so, so-)

[(Oh you don’t, host? Replacement? Body double? You don’t get why we don’t trust them after hurting you? After hurting us?)]

(You raise your hand to, to try and say something. Null stops you.)

<. . . Ramos has proven themself enough.>

[Oh not you too. You turn, eyes burning with anger.]

(Loop, stars you have to just, relax! Why are you insistent on this!!)

[BECAUSE IT’S YOU, STARDUST!!]

(. . . You, feel like you shouldn't be here for this. You’re helping keep Asterion upright, his arm on your shoulder.)

[BECAUSE YOU FINALLY GOT TO BE FREE FROM THAT HELL, AND I HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE ALIVE TO FEEL IT STILL!! You put a hand on their shoulder. Don’t you understand that?!?]

(So you’ll just, push anyone away who you can’t trust?!?!?)

[. . . Yes.]

(Loop. . .)

[QUIET YOU!! You turn back to Ramos. You know, maybe you are a good person! I’m sure you, Ramos, are a good person, or where~ But I don’t think I’m going to bother finding out!]

{In a blink, you’re there. Standing to the side. Loop.}

[FINALLY the shadow shows itself! Really, Mal, did you think I was threatening to kill them? Oh no, no no no. I just plan to never, EVER get close enough for them to backstab me!! That’s what you’d want, isn’t it~?]

{This is going too far.}

{. . . I have my reasons. Stop this.}

(. . . Mal? You turn to it, as intimidating as ever. It was strange, hearing it speak.)

{You should leave.}

|. . . You can’t look at any of them. Ramos, by your side. . .|

(You look at Asterion, how wounded he still is. I, I don’t think I should, not until I can make sure he’s-)

[What, until he’s SAFE?!? You step forward again, shoving Siffrin off of you. You have your dagger again. Oh I can make sure he’s safe alright, in a GRAVE!]

[You lunge at Asterion.]

{STOP!}

<WAIT! THAT’S- >

(N-NO!!!!)

|R-RAMOS-|

(. . . . .)

[?!?!!?!?!??!?!!?!]

(. . . . . . . . . .)

(. . . . Ha. . . Hhha. . . . O-ow. .)

(You, felt, Loops dagger, in your chest. You look down, and, and there it is. Down to the guard, and you’re sure it was poking out the other side. Ha. . . It probably struck lung, blood, muscle, m-maybe even your heart. . . N-not that it mattered, it’s, all, in your head.)

[R-ramos. . . They, they jumped in front of your attack. They defended Asterion from, from you. Your dagger, is, in, their, chest. O-oh, o-oh my, s-stars-]

(RAMOS- You run over, your hand on their shoulder, you-)

|-S-saved, me. . They, they-|

<-A Defender at heart.>

[Ramos, I- Y-you let go of your dagger and step back, I didn’t, mean-]

(Ha, ha. . . Y-yeah, you get it. You felt dizzy, you felt like you were falling. You’re just, really easy to hate, always have been.)

[N-no I! I didn’t mean to stab you I, I-]

(Ramos what, you’re, a-are you still-)

(You did tell me, you killed me once. Heh, now it’s, it’s. . . It’s alright, it’ll, be. . .)

|P-please! You hold onto them, Don’t go-|

[I, NO!! I’M, I’M SORRY I, I--]

(You. . . Haha. . . You saved Asterion, at least. . . Kept, your promise. You’re, not useless. . .)

[RAMOS!! PLEASE JUST, LOOK AT ME!]

(N-NONONONO-)

|R-Ramos! Rams!! I-I, I’m sorry I, didn’t want you, to, t-to, to get hurt because of me!!|

(. . . . .)

(Look at me, LOOK AT ME RAMOS!! PLEASE!!! P-please just, stay, be okay, you’ll be okay! P-please I, Ramos, RAMOS!!)

(. . . . . You. . . . .)

[I-I, I’m, I’m so, s-so sorry-]

(You. Close. Your. Eyes.)

---

(Constellation)

Your eyes bolt open as you hear a body hit the floor. You’re in the pantry a-and, Ramos is, on the floor in front of you.

“R-Ra, Ramos?!?!” You jump to their side, patting them, turning them on their back. T-they, they, ththheh, bhej-- c-check, check breathing, breathing, pp-pleasepleplas- BREATHING!!

THEY’RE BREATHING!! B-BUT, WHY AREN’T THEY--

You slap them, you shake them, you scream their name. You pry their eyes open.

They. Don’t. Respond.

You, you breathe, in,

And, Scream.

You scream, and scream, and scream.

You hear thunderous footsteps. Someone running. Isabeau running. Odile. Mirabelle. Talking to you. They’re talking to you. You can’t string words together.

You’re holding tight to Ramos. Odile checks them, Mira checks them, Isabeau holds you. You don’t want to let them go. You have to let them go. Nille is picking them up. You have to let them go. You let Nille take them. There’s talk of a doctor. There’s talk that they’re alive. There’s questions. You answer. You don’t know what you answer with. You answer. . .

Why aren’t you looping back?

You’re not. Looping back.

Ramos is fine you’re not looping Ramos is fine they’re they’re fine they’re fine fine fine. F-fine. Fine. Please. Please. Please.

Please.

. . . . .

[You got a Memory of Trust. You will always remember this.]

[When equipped you. . . You get the idea.]

[Only Loop and Saffron can use this memory.]

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txjuns · 2 days ago

Text

That’s so true

Pairing: reader x Heeseung

Inspired by “That’s so true - Gracie Abrams”

I highly recommend listening to it while reading this

Synopsis: You and Heeseung had been broken up for almost two months. You were highschool sweethearts. When both of you went to college, things got harder on both of you. You couldn’t see each other because you were constantly busy, so you both just decided to end it.

Warnings: angst, sexual themes, smut (kinda?), pretty sad imo

A/n: here’s a little something I wrote a while ago while I’m busy writing another part for my Taesan fic.

Night of the break-up

You and Heeseung were laying on the hood of his car, watching the stars. The cold air was nipping at your exposed arms which sent a shiver through your whole body. He noticed immediately and pulled you closer.

You looked up at him, a faint smile softened his features.

“I forgot how quiet it is here” he said, his voice low, almost like he didn’t want to disturb the stillness around you.

You nodded against his chest, “You get used to it after a while. The city’s more exciting anyway.”

“It is,” Heeseung admitted, “but it’s not home”

The words lingered in the air between you, heavy and bittersweet. Heeseung had been back in town for just three days, a fleeting visit during winter break. You’ve been counting down the days since he left for college, imagining what it would feel like to see him again, but now that he was here, the reunion felt more fragile than you’d expected. Like something beautiful you couldn’t quite hold onto.

“What’s it like there?” You asked, needing to fill the space between you. “College, I mean.”

He exhaled, his breath visible in the cold air. “It’s… different. Fast. Loud. Everyone’s trying to prove something.” He turned his head to look at you, his voice softening. “It’s not bad. Just… not what I thought it’d be.”

You hesitated, then asked the question you’d been avoiding. “Do you think you’ll stay there after graduation?”

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he pulled you closer. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I think I’m supposed to. There’s more opportunities there, you know? But…” He trailed off, his gaze returning to the stars.

You didn’t need him to finish. You knew what he meant—what he wasn’t saying.

“It’s okay,” you whispered, your voice trembling just enough for him to notice. “We knew this was going to happen.”

He looked down at you and you could feel his arms loosening around you. “Y/n—”

“It’s okay,” you repeated, cutting him off. You forced a smile, even though it hurt. “We can’t hold each other back. You have your life, and I have mine. It’s just… not the right time for us.”

“It doesn’t mean it’s over,” he said, his voice urgent. “We’ll find each other again. When it is the right time.”

You looked at him, your heart breaking and swelling all at once. “Promise me?”

He reached for your hand, his fingers lightly threading through yours. “I promise.”

For a moment, you stayed like that, your hands clasped, the stars above you indifferent to the ache in your hearts.

—

You were moping around your apartment, with a ringing in your head. You’ve been stressed, because of all your classes. The lingering feeling from 2 months ago wasn’t helping either.

You and Heeseung haven’t talked since that night. Which was strange, because you both promised to stay in touch. The kiss goodbye at the airport gave you a little bit of hope that things would get better, but now you felt stupid for thinking that. I think about your dumb face all the time.

You looked at your phone and the time read 6:45. You plopped onto your bed, thinking you were going to have an early night. That was until you received a message from Yunjin. “Party tonight. Look hot. It’s not a question.”

You groaned in protest. Promising Yunjin to go to that frat party with her was probably your biggest mistake ever. You didn’t feel like partying at all, let alone get drunk. She never knew when to stop. It was always shot after shot, and not even a sip of water in between. That girl is a real party animal.

—

The music thumped through the walls, a bass-heavy beat that seemed to vibrate in your already aching head. You weren’t sure why you decided to come to the party. You hated these kinds of things, the noise, the press of bodies.

“You need to get out, have fun,” Yunjin said, dragging you out of your sulking state. “I know things are hard right now, but that’s why you need to unwind and set your inner animal free.”

You rolled your eyes at her, “The last thing I want to do to “unwind” is go to a frat party.”

Yunjin grabbed your arm and dragged you into the kitchen, “You need a drink asap.”

As Yunjin was pouring your drink, you saw someone approaching out of the corner of your eye.

“Y/n! You came?” You turned towards the voice and saw Jungwon.

Your eyes widened. “Jungwon? No way!” You squeeled and immediately went in for a hug, nuzzling your nose into his shoulder.

Jungwon is your best friend since your first day of high school. Ride or die homie since day one.

He went off to college 2 hours away. That didn’t stop him from regularly coming to visit. You guys would have sleepovers with Yunjin and Sunoo. Your only two friends who stayed in town.

You pulled away and looked at him in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” You smacked his shoulder.

He let out a chuckle, “I wanted to surprise you,” he had a bright smile on his face and that iconic eye smile. “It was all part of the plan, right Yunjin?”

Yunjin giggled and you smacked her arm too. “You knew about this?!”

“Well it was a surprise,” she said with a warm smile.

You and Jungwon were sitting on the couch, catching up on everything. Yunjin disappeared after saying she needed to dance.

“How is everyone else?” You asked, trying to remeber everyone’s faces. They haven’t had the chance to come visit yet.

“Where do I begin?” He thought for a second. “Niki got an audition to join a major dance crew, Jake is the captain of the college football team, Sunghoon’s ice-skating career is sky-rocketing, Jay is in a band and Chaewon has her own art exhibition.”

Your mouth fell open hearing about your friends’ successes. You felt glad that they were doing well for themselves.

“Oh, and Heeseung is captain of the basketball team” your heart sank when you heard his name.

Jungwon noticed your change in behavior when your head dropped, “Listen, I heard what happened. I’m so so sorry, Y/n.”

You didn’t know what to say, so you just stared at your lap.

Jungwon grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze. “If it makes you feel better, which it probably won’t, I haven’t talked to him since. None of us have.”

You held onto his hand, “It’s okay. It was bound to happen.”

“Can I get you another drink?” Jungwon said as he stood up.

“That would be lovely, Jungwon. Thank you.” He grabbed the two cups and made his way to the kitchen.

Your head started thumping again so you dropped it onto your hands that were propped up on your knees. The music made it so much worse. You looked around the room, watching people dance against each other, spilling their drinks and some even making out.

Your eyes locked with his. Those eyes were all too familiar. So much so that every inch of pain you felt that night, came rushing back. He had a crooked smile on his lips, that once was yours.

Your breath hitched in your throat when you saw the girl holding onto his arm. What. The. Fuck.

The girl was beautiful and effortlessly put together, the kind of girl who seemed to belong at parties like this. She leaned into Heeseung’s side , her hand resting lightly on his arm as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

You felt the ground tilt beneath you, the world narrowing to just the two of you. You could still feel the ghost of his promise, whispered under the stars just two months ago: “I’ll come back for you.”

You noticed that he was wearing the leather jacket that you gave him on his birthday. All while his arm was around another woman. You wondered if she could still smell your scent when he wears that.

But here he was, like you were nothing more than a memory.

“Y/n? You okay?” Jungwon’s voice snapped you back to reality. You turned to find your friend watching you with concern, his brows knit together. He handed you your drink.

“I’m fine,” you lied, your voice hollow. You took a long sip from your cup, hoping it would dull the ache that was spreading through your chest.

You turned back toward Heeseung just in time to see the girl laugh, her head tipping back, and him leaning closer, his expression warm, familiar. I’ve been there too.

You couldn’t watch anymore. “I need some fresh air.” You said and Jungwon pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded. You set your cup down on the nearest surface and turned towards the door, the pounding music fading into the background as you slipped outside.

The cold air hit you like a slap, but you welcomed it. You pressed your palms to your face, trying to breathe through the wave of emotions crashing over you—anger, sadness, disbelief.

Two months. That was all it had taken for him to move on.

You heard the door creak open behind you and stiffened. For a second, you thought it might be him, coming after you, but it was Jungwon again.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?”

You shook your head, your voice breaking. “He’s here. With someone else.”

Jungwon’s face softened, and he stepped closer, pulling you against his chest. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

You let yourself be held, your tears hot against the cold night air. Jungwon’s heart broke when he heard your sobs, so he pulled you even closer. You knew you couldn’t stay here, couldn’t face him again—not tonight, maybe not ever.

You wiped your tear-stained face. Jungwon convinced you to stay since you haven’t seen each other in so long. You just had to avoid him and his new girl. No, I know, I know, fuck off.

—

You’d told Jungwon you wanted to leave, but something in you refused to go. Maybe it was stubbornness, or maybe it was that little, traitorous part of your heart that still wanted to see him—to see if he was happy without you.

You walked into the house and saw Yunjin standing in the corner. You went over to her and she immediately saw your reddened eyes. You caught up on what happened and she gave you a massive hug.

Yunjin was watching you carefully, her eyes darting between you and Heeseung across the room. Finally, she grabbed your arm. “You’re not hiding over here all night. Come on.”

“Yunjin, no,” you hissed, panic flashing across your face.

“Yes,” Yunjin insisted, pulling you toward the kitchen where Heeseung stood with his new girl. You dug your heels into the floor, but Yunjin wasn’t having it. Before you could protest again, you were there, standing just a few feet away from him.

Heeseung looked up, and when his eyes landed on you, his smile faltered for the briefest of moments. But then he recovered, the easy grin returning to his face. “Hey, Y/n,” he said, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the music.

Your throat tightened, but you managed a small smile. “Hi, Heeseung.”

The girl turned to look at you, curiosity flickering in her brown eyes. She had the kind of energy that lit up a room—effortlessly magnetic. “Oh, is this Y/n?” she asked, her voice warm and friendly.

You blinked in surprise. “Uh, yeah. That’s me.”

The girl beamed and stuck out her hand. “I’m Karina. Heeseung’s told me so much about you. I’ve been dying to meet you!”

For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. You glanced at Heeseung, who looked slightly uncomfortable, like he wasn’t sure how this was going to go. But Karina’s enthusiasm was infectious, and you found yourself shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you too.”

Karina tilted her head, her smile widening. “You’re even prettier than Heeseung said. And let me just say, you have great taste in music—he played me that playlist you made him. Absolute fire.”

You blinked again, caught completely off guard. You glanced at Heeseung, who rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, clearly regretting sharing that detail.

“I—thank you,” you managed, a small laugh escaping your lips despite your true feelings.

Yunjin, sensing the tension easing, jumped in. “Karina, where are you from? You’re not local, right?”

Karina launched into a story about her college and how she’d met Heeseung in one of their classes. As she spoke, you found herself relaxing, drawn in by Karina’s easygoing nature. She was funny, genuinely kind, and effortlessly charming. But I think I love her, she’s so fun. Wait I think I hate her.

You couldn’t help but wonder what Heeseung saw in her that he hadn’t seen in you—or maybe he had, and that’s why he’d chosen someone so different.

But then Karina said something that made you freeze. “You know, Heeseung says he’d never have survived the first semester if it wasn’t for all the advice you gave him. You’re kind of a legend, you know.”

You glanced at Heeseung, who was looking at the floor, his ears turning pink. “I didn’t say it like that,” he mumbled.

Karina laughed, nudging him playfully. “Oh, he totally did. And I get it now—you’re great.”

For the first time that night, you felt a strange sense of peace. It wasn’t the painful confrontation you feared, nor was it the awkward reunion you dreaded. Karina was fun, Heeseung seemed happy, and you realized that he genuinely feels nothing for you now.

Yunjin leaned in, whispering in your ear, “She’s cool, huh?”

You nodded slowly, your lips curving into a genuine smile. “Yeah. She is.” You said, though you hated to admit it.

When you looked back, Heeseung was staring at you. It was as if he could sense every emotion you were feeling. Or he noticed your redened eyes and felt somewhat guilty for what he’d done.

You couldn’t be around them anymore. As much as you like Karina as a person, thinking of them doing the things that you used to do hurt too much.

—

You rembered the night you and Heeseung had your first intimate moment.

It had been late September, the air still warm but tinged with the crispness of fall. You were in Heeseung’s room, a small lamp casting a golden glow across the space. You just returned from one of your long walks around town, the kind where you’d talk about everything and nothing, letting the conversation flow as easily as your laughter.

That night had been different, though. There was a quiet tension between you, the kind that wasn’t uncomfortable but instead felt electric. You both knew something was shifting, something you couldn’t quite put into words but could feel in the way your hands lingered when you touched or in the way his gaze seemed to hold yours a little longer than usual.

He sat on the edge of his bed, his guitar resting against the wall nearby. You remembered teasing him about his music taste, laughing as he defended his love for cheesy 2000s punk songs. But as your laughter faded, the silence between you grew heavy again, charged with unspoken feelings.

“You’re staring at me,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Can’t help it,” he replied, his lips curling into a small, nervous smile. “You’re beautiful.”

You rolled her eyes, but your heart pounded in your chest. He reached for your hand, his fingers brushing yours so softly it made you shiver. When he pulled you closer, you didn’t resist.

He presses his lips against your, slow and tentative at first, as if he was testing the waters. But soon, the hesitation melted away, replaced by something deeper, something raw and unguarded. His hands found your waist, your arms looped around his neck, and the rest of the world seemed to blur into nothingness.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice filled with both desire and concern.

You nodded, your cheeks warm but your eyes steady. “I’ve never been more sure about anything.”

What followed was a dance of discovery, a clumsy but tender exploration of each other. You whispered nervous jokes and stifled giggles as you fumbled with buttons and zippers, the intimacy of the moment both exhilarating and terrifying. He had been so gentle, so careful, checking in with you every step of the way.

Afterwards, you laid tangled together under his blanket, your limbs intertwined as if you were trying to become one. You remembered the way his fingers traced absentminded patterns on your arm, the soft kisses he placed on your forehead, and the way he whispered your name like it was the only word he wanted to say.

“I love you,” he said, his voice so quiet you almost thought you imagined it.

You had looked up at him, your heart full and aching all at once. “I love you too.”

—

You closed the bathroom door behind you and leaned against it, the muffled noise of the party outside suddenly distant. Your hands gripped the edges of the sink as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks were flushed, your breath uneven. Seeing Heeseung with Karina—laughing, smiling, and fitting so seamlessly into a life that didn’t include you—had been harder than you thought.

There was a knock on the door.

“Occupied,” you called, trying to steady your voice.

“Y/n, it’s me.”

Your stomach sank. Heeseung.

You hesitated, but then you unlocked the door and opened it a crack. He was standing there, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his face drawn tight.

“What do you want?” You asked, your voice sharper than you intended.

“Can we talk?”

You sighed but stepped aside, letting him in. As soon as the door clicked shut, the tension between you were suffocating.

“What’s there to talk about?” You asked, crossing your arms.

“You’re upset,” he said, his voice low.

You laughed, a bitter sound. “Upset? What gave you that idea? The fact that I had to watch you with your new girlfriend all night?”

“Karina’s not my girlfriend,” he said quickly.

“Oh, sure,” you shot back, rolling your eyes. “She’s just a random girl you bring to parties and laugh with like she’s the best thing in the world.”

Heeseung’s jaw tightened. “She’s a distraction, okay?”

That made you pause. “A distraction?”

“Yes,” he said, his voice rising. “Because it’s easier to pretend I don’t miss you when I’m with her.”

The words hit you like a punch to the chest. “What?” You whispered, your arms falling to your sides.

“I miss you, Y/n,” he said, his voice breaking. “I miss everything about you. I thought maybe if I… if I tried to move on, it wouldn’t hurt so much. But it does. God, it hurts every day.”

You stared at him, your anger melting into confusion, then something softer. “Then why, Heeseung? Why her? Why didn’t you just call me?”

He ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. “Because you told me to let you go. You said we couldn’t hold each other back, remember? I thought I was doing what you wanted. What was best for you.”

You felt tears prick your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. “I didn’t want you to forget about me,” you said quietly. “I just wanted you to be happy.”

“I’m not happy,” he said, stepping closer. “Not without you.”

The air between you were thick with unspoken words, unprocessed feelings. Heeseung hesitated before reaching for your hand. You let him, your fingers intertwining like they used to.

“I still love you, Y/n,” he said, his voice trembling. “I don’t know how to stop, and I don’t think I ever will.”

Tears finally spilled down your cheeks, but you smiled through them. “I still love you too,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, you just stood there, holding onto each other like you were the only solid things in a spinning world.

“What do we do now?” You asked, your voice cracking.

He squeezed your hand. “We figure it out. I’ll drive here every weekend if I have to. I’ll write you letters, I’ll call you every night—I don’t care how hard it is. I’m not losing you again.”

Your breath hitched as the tension in the small bathroom became almost unbearable.

He stood so close now, his hand still holding yours, his thumb gently brushing against your knuckles. His gaze softened as he searched your eyes, and the way he looked at you made your knees feel unsteady.

"Y/n," he whispered, his voice heavy with emotion, "I mean it. I'll do whatever it takes. Just tell me you'll let me."

Your chest tightened, the intensity of his words pulling you closer to him in ways you couldn't fight. "I don't know how to stop loving you either," you admitted, your voice trembling. "I tried, but I couldn't."

Heeseung's free hand came up to your face, his touch warm and familiar. He cupped your cheek, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw as though he couldn't believe you were real.

You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes briefly as your defenses crumbled.

"Then don't stop," he said softly.

Before you could respond, he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was soft at first, almost like he was afraid you might pull away. But you didn't.

You kissed him back, your arms wrapping around his neck as all the pain and longing of the past months melted into something warmer, something that felt like home.

The kiss deepened, and suddenly, the cramped bathroom didn't matter. He pressed you gently against the sink, his hands finding your waist and pulling you closer. Your fingers tangled in his hair, and you could feel the way his heartbeat matched yours. Fast, frantic, and filled with everything you hadn't been able to say.

"Y/n," he murmured against your lips, his voice thick with emotion. "God, I missed you."

You pulled back just enough to look at him, your forehead resting against his. "I missed you too," you whispered, your hands trailing down to his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing.

For a moment, you just stood there, holding onto each other like you were afraid to let go. Heeseung's hands slid up your back, his touch slow and deliberate, like he was memorizing every inch of you. You shivered under his touch, your heart racing as he pressed another kiss to you lips, this one deeper, more urgent.

"Are we really doing this here?" You asked breathlessly, a small laugh escaping you despite the intensity of the moment.

He chuckled, his lips brushing against your temple. "I don't care where we are, as long as it's with you."

You felt your resolve dissolve completely at his words. You tugged him closer, your fingers slipping under the collar of his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders. The sound of the party outside seemed distant now, like you were in your own little world where nothing else mattered.

As the make-out grew more passionate, he lifted you, sitting you on the edge of the sink. Your legs wrapped around his waist instinctively, and you could feel the strength of his hold on you, grounding you even as the moment felt overwhelming.

"I love you," he whispered again, his voice a mix of need and reverence.

"I love you too," you replied, your voice breaking slightly as you pulled him closer.

For the first time in what felt like forever, everything else faded away. There was no distance, no uncertainty-just the two of you, finding each other all over again in a moment that felt both fragile and infinite.

He pressed his hips into yours, and you could feel his length growing against you with every kiss and touch. His hand played with the hem of your skirt before he lifted it.

His lips traveled down your neck as he rubbed his thumb over your clothed heat. You pressed your hips forward, into his touch. You craved it.

His other hand pulled your straps down your shoulders, exposing your chest, your shirt now sitting around your waist.

“God, how I’ve missed every part of your perfect little body.” He whispered in a low tone.

He pulled your panties aside, and rubbed circles into your clit. You let out a soft moan as your head fell back onto the mirror.

You were now onto your third orgasm, bent over the sink as he pounded into you hard. His one hand was in your hair, forcing you to look at him in the mirror, the other had a tight grip on you hip.

“Fuck,” he whimpered, his head falling back. He could feel you tighten around him as you neared your orgasm. He was close too.

Your breathing was heavy and the pleasure was overwhelming. You let out a stiffled moan as you felt a knot in your stomach, threatening to explode.

#angst #heeseung smut #heeseung suggestive #heeseung #enhypen

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syscest · 14 hours ago

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system[?] here. i guess? idk, this is just a confession and maybe asking for advice if there is any for something like this. i struggle a lot with singletmoding when depression and dysphoria gets bad, and it has been bad a lot lately. like months. and its hard because im basically just fragments anyways, nothing super distinct. and i dont have a headspace, or voices. so i dont know what to do to make myself feel more plural. sometimes a really distinct headmate comes to front and it feels like something but most of the time it feels like nothing and i miss plurality. but its not easy. idk if theres any advice because so much of it focuses on having a headspace or looking inward or creating a headspace etc etc but when we had tried that before it made the host at the time go dormant due to stress and we still didnt get like a headspace out of it. idk. you dont have to post this, im sorry.

shhhhh anon - so, for the record our system:

doesn't have a headspace or any sense of spatialness related to fronts/switching

doesn't have internal dialogue. we can't write notes either, our brain rejects it

doesn't have a memory split / gaps between headmates - switches are just a slight shift we help happen

tends to hold fronts for days at a time, but finds that fronts often "fade out" into mush after a while, the vividness goes away and it gets kinda generic feeling

and my main sentiment is. don't force it. these quieter types of systemhood are about connecting with yourself/ves, they're about curiosity. they're about exploration and finding new ways to express yourself/ves. and they're all about really small things instead of really big things.

We usually wouldn't offer such specific advice to a specific ask, because we hate prescribing the way systems should be - but this is our personal thought process for when we've masked ourself into a hole and forgotten what we're even capable of experiencing.

So, think of a chime, or a pond - if it's thrashed, it's an unclear mess well after you stop, but if you touch it while it's still, that input resonates, and what you put in slowly comes back to your ears and eyes. Systems often have this "reflective" quality, I think - which means reconnecting with your system often means looking for things you put in to it.

You miss the feeling of your system. That's a good start - let yourself have that. It kinda sucks but, mull over and genuinely explore that feeling. Then keep your ears open from then and into the week, and you just might feel that feeling that your system misses itself/you back. Have a fondness? Same thing. Something you're wearing would look better if certain fragments were more present? *Think* that - picture it. Look after yourself through looking after your system - see if it looks after you back. Feel for that little "delay" between when you feel a feeling, and it comes back to being felt about you.

And hey, even if that doesn't mean "switching and fronts" like you want it to, maybe it'll feel good anyway.

#plural #intrasys #but like? relationship with the self? the overall system? whatever #asks #mod aaa

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localtrashstan · 2 days ago

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I've always agreed with this take. Just because you're older than just outta high school doesn't mean you're not into some or a lot of the same things you could've been in high school, but it also doesn't mean your problems just disappear.

I see people often say he's "too young" simply because of how he acts about his family. While I do agree he's immature for acting the way he does, it is understandable to some extent when you consider his family's situation and the fact that they're all very different individuals. It's kinda like he held onto grudges and let any kind of animosity fester, and, in turn, maybe Demetrius did the same. I mean, there's only so many "you're not my dad" arguments and angst one man can take before it just turns into a complete avoidance of him to avoid any kind of argument. Given Demetrius comes off as kind of awkward and very absorbed in his work, I imagine that probably led to a lot of misunderstandings between them, although that still doesn't necessarily mean he gets the sole blame for everything. I actually believe the fault lies in the entire family for their dysfunctionality.

With Maru, I actually imagine most of his dislike toward her is probably resentment and jealousy since people generally like Maru, and she's got a bright future that others are able to see and root for since she is more personable. I can see Sebastian letting his insecurities get the better of him in that regard, especially since he's obviously depressed and anxious, which does a number on your self-esteem, especially when you're isolating yourself like Sebastian does. He sees her as everything he isn't and it's turned into a strong dislike (I say dislike instead of hate because I don't believe he actually hates her. I genuinely do believe it's jealousy and resentment that causes him to act the way he does toward her). It could also be as an act of defiance against Demetrius, although I don't buy this one as much because it feels colder than I imagine Sebastian would dare to be, but it is still a possibility.

As for Robin, I just think she was overbearing and given that Sebastian was young when Maru was born, and I've always imagined that being shortly after her marriage to Demetrius, I'm sure that led him to feel "replaced" which is a common feeling some older siblings have, especially during the baby stages since they need more attention. I know I've had my fair share of that growing up as I have two younger siblings who were born when I was quite small. That could go along with his dislike of Maru as well. Plus, I mean, teenagers often get distant from their parents. It just could simply be that he never made the transition back into being close with her again after that, perhaps because he felt too awkward to.

Whatever the case may be, family problems don't just disappear because you're an adult, and his leaving to the city is honestly probably hugely motivated by these issues. It's sad, and like I said, he's not the most mature in how he handles them, but that's why I've always headcannoned that after he's married or maybe after he's left the house that it's only then that he's able to appreciate his family and mend his relationships with them. Overall, I think if Sebastian ever wanted things to change, he'd have to be the one to initiate it because I fear he's closed himself off so much from them that nobody else would make the attempt.

Maybe Im just projecting a little bit as I'm going through a lot right now myself with mental health, and it honestly has made me do and say some pretty stupid and honestly immature things. It's a problem that I'm working on, though. But, yeah, I do see myself a lot in Sebastian, so I very well could be projecting a little there.

Anyways, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, I love Sebastian so much, sorry for the rant lol.

I really dislike it when Seb is portrayed like he's fresh out of high school or something and how often this happens. The guy is most likely over 25 already and while he might not have that much experience with relationships, he's way more mature and adult than given credit for.

#sdv #stardew valley #sdv sebastian #stardew valley sebastian

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spotaus · 1 month ago

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New Age AU (The Magic Retreats)

Hi guys!!! So, I wrote this one in a fit of passion, but here's a brief take 2 on the most important chapter of the fic and the first one I posted! (In which Night becomes Tiny again :] ) As always this drabble is unedited and un-checked so uhh. Good luck!

(HI @ancha-aus , @papiliovolens , and @mutzelputz welcome back!)

The days felt like they were growing longer again. Maybe it was the change of the seasons, or the workload ramping up again making his nights bleed into his mornings. No matter the case, Nightmare was lucky to have moments of rest from his endless piles of debts and taxes and laws and requests that were strewn all about his office. They were nice, neat, piles now, but they seemed to be an endless cycle. He'd solve one problem and it would result in a new report of catastrophe somewhere else.

Often, he wondered whether it was that his Mother's ruling style had truly worked, or if she'd ignored it. After all, she'd been a God amongst mortals, why would she care for a few challenged livelihoods amidst her paradise?

The sharp clash of metal on magic drew Nightmare's attention back to the present. Against all odds, he'd managed to convince Cross to start training his sword again. When Cross had first started getting lessons to properly control his magic, harnessing even whisps of Nightmare's own spells on occasion, he'd quickly neglected his physical training. Over the last few weeks, Nightmare had voiced his worry that Cross might find himself up against another foe like Dust. One who he couldn't simply control. He needed to re-learn his old battle tactics. Only then, he'd promised, they would move on to harnessing both at once.

So, now, he was sparring against Horror in the training room. Nightmare sat off to the side on the benches, Dust and Killer on either side of him watching intently. Two of his tendrils hovered readily before him, ready to pounce to intercept any wayward attacks or truly dangerous intent, though he trusted his Knight to not put his newest comrade in any real danger. The other two tendrils lay lax behind the bench, curling comfortably beneath where his other Knights sat at his sides.

These were the sorts of daily distractions he enjoyed. Which pulled him away from the stress of the papers and the outside world. He could focus solely on his charges and how best to help them. They helped him so often, he just wanted to return the favor.

His eyelight followed the movements, as Horror stayed more or less right on Cross's tail. His axe swung slower than normal, and it was obvious he was taking the training seriously without giving Cross a heart-attack from the force of his normal blows. It wasn't often Nightmare allowed them to pair up precisely because of that. Horror had no magic for Cross to control, none that would help him at least. Meanwhile, Horror's brute strength could snap Cross like a twig if something were to go slightly awry.

A swing of the axe, Cross's longsword cracking against the handle as he blocked. A push-off, sending Cross back a few steps before he swung. Missed. The axe was on him again, this time towards his side. Cross jumped over it, swung his sword. Missed again. The axe came in again, from above. A narrow block, one which forced Cross to his knee, before Horror let up.

Horror was simply a marvel of physical combat. He hadn't been a good fighter when Nightmare met him, but he'd learned very quickly. From watching the guards, from listening to Nightmare. Though, Nightmare was almost positive Killer had actually been his biggest influence. Killer, the cockpit, single Knight at that time. He'd taken Dust under his supervision at the time, practically heading the dismantling of the crime rings Dust knew so well all on his own. Meanwhile, Nightmare was working with Horror to understand how to fix the farming situation across the kingdom. Once things settled, and Nightmare expressed interest in having Horror stick around, it was Killer who showed off in combat training. Horror spun off his feet and pushed off his hands in the way expected of a much smaller, leaner, monster. Very similar to how Killer fought when he was playing around.

It was evidently too unfamiliar for Cross. He'd been taught formal swordplay, but here in this kingdom? That was about as useful as playing with a slingshot and trying to operate a trebuchet. It seemed similar, but it could only get one so far.

Cross had been steadily improving, of course. Just a year or so ago, Cross had been besting all the rest of the royal guard out on the training field. But placed against Killer, the best of the best at practical combat, no holds bar? He'd fumbled. Now, Nightmare knew Cross could hold his own against his proudest Knight. That meant a lot in such a short time. Pride filled his chest at the thought, as he watched the two of them clash again and again.

He knew his time was running short for today. He'd had Dust and Killer work on their team-building and attack him earlier on in training while Cross and Horror were warming up. As he already knew, they were chatty, but very efficient in their coordination.

"On your left!" Killer would call out. Dust would simply duck as Killer instead vaulted over his head as though emerging from the shorter Knight's shadow, knife in hand, glowing red with energy.

Killer's use of deceptive verbal cues was a talent he'd come up with all his own. Nightmare remembered him pestering Dust over it every dinner for a week after he'd first thought of it. Dust had seemed annoyed at first, but Nightmare could tell after the first session of them trying it out, against him? He'd been unaware, and if his magic didn't work separate from his mind on occasion, they would have gotten him in the first two minutes.

They'd used it again earlier, and even after several years it still kept Nightmare on his toes. He figured that was why he felt tired as he watched the two locked in mock battle before him. The cognitive challenges did tend to make his socket heavy with sleep. And he hated to admit it, but he always knew about when to end their afternoon trainings, because it lined up with when his mind would start to lag. Even years later, his body still seemed to respond to the familiar draw of a long-discarded bed time.

He'd let them exchange a few more blows, before calling it off and ushering them all off to clean up before dinner. Even if he knew only Cross and Dust would go wash up. Horror would go change out of his training gear into clean clothes, he hated to look messy at the dinner table, abd Killer would simply stick to his side like glue.

It never was a point of complaint, he appreciated the commitment, but sometimes he really did wish he'd at least take a moment to swap clothes. Sometimes he tracked all sorts of dirt and scraps of magic out of the training room and into the halls.

Mm. The clashing seemed to have reached a rhythm. That meant Cross had gotten familiar with Horror's movement patterns again. It never lasted long, Horror was very adaptable, but it did mean that Cross would be locked into the stalemate now, or it'd be an easy defeat for Horror. Better to call it now and send them off with a bit of praise. They never ceased to impress him, they'd all grown so much.

"Alright, end the match." he called. It didn't take hardly a moment for the order to register after his voice carried to the two monsters.

Cross was the first to pull away, with Horror letting his swing fall short and his Axe's momentum swing up and into the air. He caught the grip and almost immediately stuffed it back into its own holster along his back. Cross sheathed his sword, and while a bit out of breath, he still grinned triumphantly and bowed amicably to Horror. Horror returned it with a nod. Their little ritual.

"Wonderful work today, all of you." Nightmare announced, his front two tendrils slinking back to his sides as they no longer had danger to be hyper aware of. To defend against. "Tomorrow, I want to see you two spar again, I believe you are making great leaps in progress, Cross. Dust will provide you both with terrain obstacles in the form of erratic magic attacks to simulate a more turbulent battle field and provide Horror with more opportunity to practice dodging." The suggestion seemed well-recieved, and Nightmare let his good eyelight turn to Killer, who sat grinning beside him. "Killer, you and I will be doing more endurance training for your magic."

"Looking forward to it, my Lord," Killer replied.

That made Nightmare chuckle a bit. Once upon a time, Killer would tense up at the premise of magic training. Then, as he grew bolder, groan at the mention. He was not proficient in the sort of magic Cross, Dust, or he himself relied on, but his preferred weapon was a knife or two summoned by his own soul. Since it was magic, Nightmare insisted he learn to better sustain and alter it rather than letting it atrophy in the wake of his extensive physical training. Now, seeing him grin lazily at the idea, not a worry weighing on his soul? It made Nightmare feel a lot more justified in making the rambunctious Knight do the more "boring" practical training.

"If we understand what to expect for the afternoon tomorrow, then you are dismissed. I will see you all at dinner," he declared. Humor filled his chest at the warmth which rolled off his knights at the mention of food. Dinner was always cooked by Ccino, and Ccino was the best cook. Nightmare would know.

He watched as Cross gave a little salute before he turned on his heel to begin to follow Horror's lumbering gait towards the heavy doors separating this room from the hall. The newest Knight's voice was quiet, but excitable as he started to reflect on his techniques to Horror. He always debriefed after a training.

Beside him, Dust swung forward off the bench and landed silently, already moving to follow the other two. His body-language always seemed disgruntled, and his expression was hidden under his darkened hood, but Nightmare knew he was pleased with his work tonight. Content with what he had accomplished.

"Cross is gettin' a lot faster." Killer's voice was calm beside him, and Nightmare followed the other's hollow gaze to where the other three were discarding their gear, hanging it up on the racks near the door where they always stored the supplies.

Four spaces, one for each knight. Killer had gouged his name into the wooden base of his own years ago.

"I agree." Nightmare let one of his tendrils wrap at the ground around a leg of the bench. "It helps that he is eager and willing to improve on his skills. And that he has others to lean on as he continues to learn."

Killer's scoff quickly devolved into a laugh at the thinly veiled praise. It wasn't unusual of him to slip it into conversation. A quick, gentle nudge of praise. Acknowledgement and appreciation. Killer had heard to most of it, and Nightmare often worried he'd find it insincere.

As far as he knew, he never did.

"You should go put up your armor as well." Nightmare suggested, nudging at Killer's back with a tendril.

"Yes, sir." Killer chimed, the sharpness of his laughter still on his tongue.

Nightmare rose simply, and Killer pushed off the bench with a quick hop. His feet planted, and Nightmare waited for him to take a step towards where the others were before moving to follow. It felt right, to see them all in one spot. Relaxed.

He moved to follow Killer's quick steps, only... All at once his vision seemed to double, and he halted himself. He could feel his tendrils lash out, moving to stabilize him against the floor of the training room. He still stood upright, just barely, but it seemed all his balance had left him. Instinctively, in a fit of habit, he shut his good socket and took a moment. The swaying feeling he was gripped by, even after a deep breath an counting to five, did not fade. The darkness which usually seemed to calm him only seemed to make the swaying worse. He could not tell if the motion was coming from him, or I the ground beneath him was shifting like the deck of a boat. Without his vision he couldn't orient up versus down, let alone find his stability again.

Opening his good socket provided him with orientation, though his vision still danced and swirled. He was looking down, down towards the brick ground, from the space behind his palm. When did he place his hand to his socket? The view included his legs, which he recognized now were shaking, and his tendrils which were trying to hold him in place.

And...

He jolted at the contact he could see but hadn't felt in the slightest. He skull reeled up so that he could see who had touched him. One hand on his elbow. The other- when did he grab Killer's arm? When had Killer turned around to look at him? Why was Killer looking at him like that?

It was Killer, who had ahold of him, though he couldn't feel the Knight's touch, and he couldn't tell if he was gripping the other's arm at all. Though he was, he could see it.

His vision warped again with the quick movement. A desperate bid to look past Killer. Was there a threat? The blurry form of Dust shot past him, he thought. Horror and Cross still seemed to be by the door.

The ceiling. Why was he looking at the ceiling? No, wait, the floor now. It grew closer, in the space between himself and Killer, as the opening for him to see it grew smaller. Then he couldn't see it at all, his vision replaced swiftly by- training gear. The leather smell invaded his senses as the rest failed him. He couldn't feel Killer, though he knew the knight was near to him. That, as far as he could tell, Killer had caught him. That he'd sunken to the ground under his own weight.

Why?

His socket wasn't being helpful. It seemed, from what he saw, that his tendrils were trying to melt away as they moved errantly to slap onto Killer's back or the ground beyond. Surely that wasn't right? His tendrils had never wavered. He shut his socket again, letting his skull sink into the training armor again.

It didn't occur to him for a few moments, that he couldn't hear his knights, until he suddenly could.

The voices were loud and grating, breaking his wobbling darkness once again as he tried to force his socket back open. What was wrong with him?

"Horror, I said go get Ccino! Now!" Killer. He'd know that voice anywhere, though he didn't like the angry tone. Like fire spitting from his tongue seemingly right above Nightmare's skull. "This isn't some sort of test, I- I don't know what this is. It can't be good."

Nightmare tried to reach out. Not physically, it felt he still couldn't control his limbs. No, he tried to sense. Did the others know what was wrong with him? Was the rising panic in his chest originating from his own emotions or theirs? Had... had one of them done something?

No, it wasn't them.

"Shit." Somewhere behind him, he heard Dust's voice hiss. "His magic levels are dropping. And fast."

For a second, Nightmare was stunned. What did he mean his magic levels were dropping? Though, it made sense. Somewhere deep in his chest he could feel it, the swaying motion as his magic tried to peel away from his bones. He-

"What do you-" Killer still sounded frustrated, and he too spat an expletive a moment later.

Nightmare, for the briefest moment, thought he felt touch again against his skull. He let his blurry socket fall closed again, the vision only worsening as his magic rocked with unseen waves of revulsion.

"Cross, try to grab his magic," Killer ordered.

The familiar splattering of the young Night would've been comforting, if the suggestion didn't fill him with dread. Killer knew better than that. They'd agreed Cross could only touch on controlling his magic. Nothing more. It was too vast.

"W-what! I- I shouldn't-" Cross attempted to stammer a defense, but Killer was quicker with words. Always had been.

"Just try. Now. Hold it in place and see if it stablizes." The command was a lot more controlled than the previous one, but his tone was leaving no room for error. "When the King and Ccino are unavailable, I'm in charge. Listen to me."

Nightmare had never heard Killer take charge in such a way before, and in his haze he might've written it off as a product of his imagination. All of this being some sort of weird hallucination. But he felt the invasive force of Cross' magic snake over his bones.

He'd felt it before, a sort of blanket or hand-hold aimed at the ends if his tendrils which could make them twitch a bit with Cross's own will. This time he felt it creep up the length of his spine and dig unseen claws into his shoulder blades. He could feel it, just like he could now feel Killer's chin and shoulder, where his skull had been tucked. He could feel the hand supporting his back, the other his side. He felt limp as the forceful magic washed over him.

Nightmare gagged.

Cross's magic caught on something, like a hook finding the fish, and for a brief few moments, Nightmare felt like he had a ball of gunk in his non-existant gut. Something heavy and feral, trying to escape.

For just a moment, he regained a breath of awareness. He felt his Knight supporting his weight, he felt the nakedness of his back where his tendrils had completely abandoned him, he felt the emotions of the three still with him. Fear. Confusion. Anger. He didn't like it much. He still couldn't move his limbs.

And just as quickly as it was stable, the hold on the wild magic slipped away. Like the fish had broken the string.

It flowed up, like the force of a dam finally released. Through his ribcage, past his shoulders where Cross's magic seemed to dissipate all at once, into his mouth.

Nightmare regained some semblance of control over his body at that moment. As the magic seemed to rush towards freedom. He shoved away from Killer all at once, the chill of the stone hitting his palms heavily and his socket opening if only to watch as he lost it. That dark, thick, sticky magic that had marked him as a bad omen. That had gifted him the power to rule in place of his twin. Protect those he loved.

It spilled to the stone before him, and he was stunned to watched that, as he heaved suddenly labored breaths, it sunk away. Disappeared. Just like that, instead of his familiar darkness, the protective shield, the instinctive defense he had grown to know, he was staring at the floor. And the space in which his wobbling arms hid under too-big sleeves, and from the cuffs escaped perfect, pearly-white bone. Bone he could never seem to reach no matter how hard he scrubbed with water and soap. Bones that seemed so frail in the torchlight.

"My king?"

Nightmare let his eyelight raise from the ground. It wasn't as wobbly anymore, his vision slowly coming back to normal. He still took his time trailing from the ground, to look at Killer's pants. He was on his knees, hardly an arm's length away. Then the edges of his chestplate. His arms were outstretched, hovering barely away from touching Nightmare. He shook at the closeness, but didn't dare try to move. Killer's soul was wobbling. Nightmare's boww furrowed at the sight. It was very small, but he'd always notice the little changes and moves. Though, he noticed an absence of something at the back of his skull as he stared. Something missing.

Killer's face was last. He looked serious, his dark sockets not a new sight, but Nightmare hardly saw Killer so serious. He'd seen the look before. Usually when he'd see someone bothering Ccino. It had always been brief, quickly disguised under his patented sadistic grin. Killer just watched him now. As though he was sone glass sculpture ready to tip off the end of the table.

He hated, as he stared, that he couldn't- he could feel-

He tried to shift, to whip his head to look for the knight he knew should've been behind him. And he was right, of course. A glimpse of Dust's shadowed skull and tense body-language told Night he was on high-alert, but Nightmare hadn't been able to feel him. Hadn't sensed his presence at all. No emotions, no aura, no nothing.

"Woah, steady!" Killer yelped as Nightmare felt himself tilt.

Looking up at Dust had disoriented him. The weight distribution was different now. His body listed to the side, and he flinched when arms wrapped around at his sides and tugged his upper half onto soft fabric. Killer's legs. Killer had caught him.

"My king, Nightmare, it's you, right?" He sounded the same. Something told Nightmare he was uncertain.

"Y-" His attempt to speak was short-lived. His voice wasn't right. It was high-pitched and raw. All the rumble and low tones entirely missing. He couldn't be sure if he stopped on account of keeping his pride alive, or if he feared speaking in a voice he hadn't heard in years.

It didn't help that he couldn't feel them. No matter how much he tried, the only feeling in his chest was his own solitary anxiety. Balling up tighter and tighter, an old friend come home again. If he could tell what they were thinking- if he could know if he was safe...

He bit back his panic, holding in the weakness which was threatening to give him away. Though, what else was there to give? If he was right, then the prophecy had finally rejected him. Left him as an offering to a pack of wolves.

Nightmare knew he was shaking, but some irrational part of him thought that if he kept his socket shut that this would all be some absurd night terror and he'd wake up cozy in his bed, or exhausted at his desk, or maybe passed out on the floor. Somewhere else. Anywhere else.

"What's wrong?" That voice was deeply familiar, and all at once Nightmare felt like he had a surge of strength. "Why did Horror rush me back here? Where is our King?" It was Ccino. He sounded more frustrated than anything else, but he didn't need to feel his emotions to know the rise to his tone. The worry buried there.

"We finished training and everything was fine," Killer explained, tone as even as he could muster, "But when we were on our way out, he just collapsed."

Nightmare pitied him, having to tell Ccino any sort of bad news. Nightmare didn't think as he attempted again to shove himself up. If only to catch a glimpse of Ccino.

As he peered barely over Killer's shoulder, he saw what the others did. Ccino had some sort if flour or wheat all down the front of his nice apron, and a few streaks along the thighs of hid pants from where he'd probably wiped his hands along the way. His expression was a mix of concern and fury that set Nightmare's soul into a pretzel-twist of regret, and his eyelights scanned the room as he rapidly approached Killer. Obviously looking for answers.

Only, Ccino arrived to Killer's side, and his growing rage seemed to stop all at once, alongside his steps. He stared down at Nightmare with wide eyes. Nightmare stared up at him wearily. The king's sockets were beginning to water. Ccino's expression, the way his balled fists twitched and relaxed, the way he seemed to lose all the tension I'm his body, just getting a glimpse at him. Ccino recognized his face, no doubt about it.

"Nightmare?" Ccino's voice was small.

Nightmare fumbled a bit as he tried to launch away from Killer. Having Ccino so close to him simply... broke whatever had been holding back the emotional damage within. It didn't help in the slightest when Ccino crouched and immediately tugged him away from Killer and into a gentle bear-hug there on the floor.

For the first time, in a very long time, he found that the welling of tears in his sockets didn't result in dark, tarlike, goop that fell in chunks down his skull. This time the tears were real, a transparent lilac which raced down his cheeks abd planted themselves against the fabric of Ccino's tunic and apron. He wasn't wearing his fur, he was smart like that.

Ccino's arms wrapped around his back like they always did, and Nightmare felt himself slipping. Ccino was safe. He had always been safe.

Nightmare didn't have time to begin sobbing as he had expected, or to even begin to hyperventilate into Ccino's shirt or curl into a ball against his chest. The moment Ccino nuzzled the side of his skull, his vision went blurry again.

At the tightening of Ccino's grip, he heard Dust's voice again. "Magic-loss. A lot of it." Faintly rolled into his mind like a distance voice two doors over. He didn't quite catch when Killer started to speak again, or Ccino worriedly said his name. Dust was right, the magic was gone. Out of nowhere. It was a lot for his little body to handle.

#new age au #Okay so now that I have a better grasp on how these guys work I feel like this is more true to their energy!!!#Night was still a hard persoective to roll with but I got committed lol-#I love these goofballs so so dearly <3 #and Nightmare having some huikd-up to the drama felt vital just because. well. in all technicality if I were to write this as a full fic #this would probably either be my first chapter or the 3rd or so after I establish stuff #anyways yeah vibing a lot more with this one!#combat seemed like fun but this is definitely more of a Nightmare kinda thing to do at this point in the plot! and #more true to the Knights #as much as I think Killer would gate-keep little Nightmare for his safety. he also knows Ccino #outranks them for a reason and even if they're not the closest atp in the plot? he respects Ccino SO much #also ur King melting in ur arms is enough to make anyone panic I think-#okah now I'm gonna go to sleep 🫡

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