#jess rants about life

[stranger-awakening]

two queens meeting up to maximise their joint slay

[anxiouspotatorants]

Actually you know what I need to rant about this: while literati is technically a good girl x bad boy dynamic it is written so incredibly well and avoids so many pitfalls and stereotypes that it makes a good girl x bad boy hater like myself (I’m only half joking — I don’t think any trope is inherently good or bad but I tend to dislike most pairings with this dynamic) fall head over heels for their story and relationship.

So much of what makes the two of them work is the contrast between how others perceive them and how they truly are. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who understand who Rory is as a person (Lorelai, Lane, Paris, Richard and Emily to a certain degree for starters), but she's constantly met with the expectation that she just does good and is supposed to make everyone proud 24/7. Stars Hollow as a group especially are big on this, as seen f. ex. through how Taylor takes Rory's one comment about an inappropriate DVD and twists the whole thing into a censorship crusade and makes Rory its poster-child even though she wants nothing to do with it and tells him so repeatedly. But instead of hearing Rory disagree with him (like he would Lorelai and Luke) he assumes that she actually agrees with him - and why shouldn't she when she's the perfect sunshine paragon of good who would never disagree with her elders? Also her grandparents treat her as incredibly fragile and childlike, like she must be too innocent to ever do anything wrong and so whenever she does something it has to be somebody else's fault (usually Lorelai, but occasionally Jess or whoever else was present). Time and time again Rory is treated like something innocent and naive and weak — but not by Jess. He sees her as a person.

And it obviously goes the other way too. Jess is treated like shit by pretty much everyone else. Either people hate him unprovoked or very much provoked (he did do a lot of pranks in his first few weeks and while I'm a Dean-hater I'm not blind to how much Jess picked fights with him), or they’ve simply given up on him. He tells Rory himself that every authority figure he had back in New York gave up on him too, from teachers to principals to his very own mother. But Rory doesn’t treat him like a lost cause, she treats him like the smart, brilliant and asshole-ish teen that he is. By having faith in him she also often holds him more accountable than others. Where f. ex. Lorelai or the other adults just roll their eyes, Rory physically drags Jess into doing his shifts at the diner. While others write him off, Rory chews Jess’ ear out for not helping Luke more and for willfully making enemies out of the Stars Hollow adults.

They don't put each other on pedestals or below each other. Jess doesn’t try to make a sinner out of Rory and she doesn’t try to make a saint out of him. There’s genuine respect between them. They expect each other to have integrity and treat others with kindness and honesty, and the rest is good old chemistry and common interests.

I particularly love how in so many of their scenes (especially pre-relationship) when they spend time alone they just get to be these goofy nerdy kids. They argue about controversial authors and dig through records shops and eat hot dogs and make fun of each other and try to make each other laugh. It’s not just sexual chemistry as it too often is in a dynamic like this (and often uncomfortably sexual when writing teenagers - looking at you Gossip Girl), and not just well written intellectual chemistry — they have platonic chemistry too. A hell of a lot of it actually.

While I don’t think ASP wrote them through a purely deconstructionist lens on the good girl x bad boy dynamic (if she did plan on writing the dynamic at all), there is something to be said about how where many around them treat them like stereotypes they treat each other like people. To so many people, Rory is a perfect small town princess, a little miss sunshine with booksmarts for days but too delicate and sweet for anything with grit and weight. To a lot of the same people and many more Jess is a pathetic brutish and maniacal lost cause, hell personified in a chainsmoking leather-wearing teenager. But to each other they are actual human beings. Kind and mean and flirtatious and scared and reckless and smart. Rory really thinks that with the right motivation and mindset Jess can be the kind who does (and at the end wrote) incredible things. Jess really believes that with a little more practice and support to step out of her comfort zone she can be the amazing journalist she wishes to be.

They don’t have this stupid «we’re so bad for each other but we can’t stay away» thing that too many trope users rely on and don’t even justify in the plot. Everyone else might think they’re not fit for each other, but they knew they were each other’s person from the very first day.

[gaffney]

your portrayal of adam banks is my favorite portrayal of him i think ever… what are your other thoughts about him?

OH MAN. thank you so much 😭 i sort of talked about him here kinda recentish! as for other stuff… i will say that i feel like i’ve seen a lot of takes recently about adam’s relationship with his dad that i don’t really vibe with. 🤔 implying that he doesn’t care about adam’s wants/needs, or that adam’s scared of his dad, which i don’t think is the case at all…

like, if you think about it. to adam and his dad, bombay is the villain of d1. the movie framed adam’s switch to the ducks as something positive for bombay, the ducks, and, eventually, adam. and–while this may be true–reverse the situation and you end up with a father who is told that his kid can no longer play on the team that he wants to play on. the team where he has his friends, the team his big brother (who adam most likely admires) used to play for. like!!! IMAGINE. some jackass coach from the worst team in the league coming up to gleefully tell you that your son–who is not only incredibly talented but loves the game–can’t play for the rest of the season or his team will have to forfeit. i would’ve socked bombay right there in the face lmao. THE AUDACITY!!! 

so, phillip banks tries to do what any involved father would do: find a way around it. possibily throw a bunch of money at it, because he’s in a position that he can. again, bombay refuses. not because he wants to give adam a place where he’d be treated better. no. he doesn’t know that kid. bombay says no because he’s a petty bitch, knows that adam is a great player, and does not want to give reilly the advantage. then he leaves the office quacking like an asshole. if i had been phillip banks, i would’ve been questioning that man’s sanity.

ANYWAY. we know phillip’s opinion: according to him, adam would rather not play than play for the ducks. except! adam shows up in the locker room anyway, which means that his choice was different: he just wants to play hockey, no matter where it is. and, rather than telling him no (especially after witnessing how much of a quack his new coach is), phillip agreed. 

this shows us two things: 1) phillip cares enough about adam that he’s willing to let him go to a team that he (phillip) may not like, as long as it means his son gets what he wants (aka to play hockey). and 2) adam does not cower around phillip. he was able to tell him that he wanted to play and “win” whatever argument there might’ve been. it was adam’s choice. i think this is a very important distinction to make.

“but tumblr user gaffney,” i hear someone cry in the distance, “what about that time adam’s dad wore a hawks jacket to the finals?” WELL, random shout in the void, it’s like i said: to adam and his dad, bombay’s the villain. we don’t see phillip ever interact with bombay again prior to adam’s injury. now add the fact that adam wasn’t exactly welcomed to the team and most likely returned home from practice every week with another story of how jesse hall glared at him from across the rink (with good reason but that’s another story). it’s very likely that adam himself thought he’d be going back to the hawks after this season. he was still embarrassed/uncomfortable/trying to hide his face when he saw mcgill & larson, and this was after they’d made the playoffs. basically, phillip had no damn reason to support the ducks, even if his son was on the team. and even despite that, he cheered adam on. he left his seat immediately once adam was injured. they held hands when adam was rolled off the ice. 

then there’s d2. in flashbacks, we see bombay’s dad, who appeared to be a really good guy before his death. bombay then draws parallels between his dad and adam’s dad, which is something he probably would not do if he (still) hated adam’s dad or (still) thought he was an awful human being. to quote bombay, “(bombay’s dad) didn’t need me to score a hundred goals for him. he was proud of me because i was his son, and i did my best. i’m sure that’s how your dad feels. i know it is.” 

tldr; #letphillipbankslive2k23. there’s no need to woobify adam into a poor abused little rich boy tbh, but that’s just my Hot Take.

[jelly-an0n]

Firsts

Clark Kent x Reader

Requested by @witherby

Tonight was supposed to be perfect.

At least- Clark had planned for it all to maybe be perfect-

Today was meant to mark your six month anniversary, and tonight he was hoping to make it special. He had planned an entire dinner, using the spare key to go into your apartment- with permission to come over of course- to set it all up.

Clark had made dinner- using a recipe you had mentioned loving but hadn't had time to cook- set the table and everything. But now he was starting to doubt himself, second guessing himself every second the watched go by on the clock you had.

You were meant to be home an hour ago, and you hadn't sent any form of message to say you were running behind or staying at work, nothing. Clark checked his phone again, seeing the messages he had sent over the pass hour still marked as unread.

Worry was creeping up quickly within him, but he done his best to keep a clear head. You ran late sometimes, it happens. he still remembers your first date when you had come running in fifteen minutes late- drenched to the bone and spewing apologies, nearly in tears at being so late.

Turns out work held you back, then it had started to rain- not a good sign when but you had your car. At least, you did until you popped a tire and didn't have a spare.

That night, everything that could go wrong on the way to where you were meant to meet up with Clark, did go wrong.

But Clark had only smiled at you and offered you a jacket, telling you it could be postponed so you could go home and get changed, he didn't want you getting sick after all.

That date went from a night out to a night in- getting food to go before returning to yours, where you both curled up watching crappy reality TV.

So Clark knew that, sometimes, life gets in the way.

Before he could further worry about your well-being, he heard the tell-tale signs of you approaching your door, and he stumbles to stand behind his chair- only to blink as the front door swung open.

In your arms were two cats who blinked back at Clark, and it took him a few moments to zone back in to hear you explain why you were so late as the door swings shut.

"-ally so sorry Clark- I was planning on coming straight here after work but my phone died and Jess needed those extra reports- and on the way home I saw these sweethearts begging for scraps and had to yell at some sleaze for trying to kick the ginger one and-" Your rant comes to a halt as you finally take in the dinning room table- set with candles, wine, and the meal you had been wanting for weeks now.

Any words you had were stolen from you as you look back up to Clark, only to see him staring at you with the same awed expression, just for a completely different reason.

For Clark, he was just awed at how kind and genuine you were, at how much love you had for the world and how much he loves you.

And as soon as the words he had spent weeks questioning if he should say enter his mind, the reason he spent so long on this dinner, he can't help but let them gracefully slip from his mouth, said with the same type of care one would have for handling fine china.

"I love you."

[makiquas]

Its Butchtober. Bear with me for a second as I rant about children's cartoon ships, butchphobia, the conditional acceptance of butches in sapphic spaces on the basis of desirability, and feeling erased as a butch kid.

It's so funny that I realised early on as a 2000-2010s teen/kid how a lot of so called "sapphics" of social media are really, really anti butch4butch, only by interacting with certain subsets of Catradora and Appledash haters. It may be flippant to connect butchphobia with children's cartoons, but you cannot deny it is there. We finally had two canon butch4butch and masc4masc lesbian animated ships. And the fandoms decided that the best possible reaction to this is to violently hate on the ships for bullshit reasons and write up masterdocs about how the butch character actually looks better with a femme character instead (in both cases–Rarity and Glimmer, who is arguably feminine but not femme, but that's a conversation for another day, how the SPOP fandom waters down gender identities for aesthetics).

This is not just about two cartoon ships; this mindset of seeing two masc lesbians and immediately going "actually they act like bros; but this BUTCHFEMME couple has real chemistry" comes off sounding really, really bad in 2024 when you have no idea how butch identity operates, outside of depicting us as pants-wearing sexually aggressive muscular women. Butches ARE bros, even the ones who kiss each other. Camaraderie and tomboyish swagger *is* a part of their life. It's not our fault you are too fanfic trope-pilled to read these interactions are sexless friendship bantering.

It's also quite concerning, given how there are only a handful of butch4butch books in the market, and almost all of them talk about the stigmatizing of relationships between two butches/studs/masc lesbians. There are many butch lesbians who themselves face internalized butchphobia because of societal standards and expectations of being turned into the "gallant" provider of femmes. Butch and femme are not always inherently complementary, butches can be attracted to other butches, there is no "natural order" model of lesbian/sapphic attraction and your thinly veiled butchphobia is really off-putting, given you guys don't seem to extend that same rhetoric to mascfemme ships like Korrasami or Caitvi, or femme-femme ships like Harlivy.

Here, I must mention relationships like Rei and Kaoru from Oniisama E, or Jess and Lupe from A League of Their Own, who have bucket loads of chemistry but still have some vehement antis only because both the lesbians are masculine. (What's funny is the new wave of lesbian Oniisama E fans are almost all Rei/Kaoru shippers despite the show putting them into two butchfemme pairings.) Something something to be butch4butch is to be failing the tests of palatability and desirability according to conventional models of societal norms. Forever.

Again, one may have valid reasons for disliking these fictional ships (what, I genuinely don't know). But it *is* weird that you guys can watch fifty white fem4fem sapphic shows in a year and read 100+ GL with the same feminine girlish blonde and brunette/pink haired archetype and not bat an eyelid, but conjure a world of made-up "platonic" dynamics just because you read every butch4butch interaction as fundamentally platonic.

A lot of you love to throw around Stone Butch Blues as a catchphrase to educate strangers on the internet about 1950s-70s blue-collar bar culture and USA butch femme history, but how many of you actually know that within the book itself, the lead character acts prejudiced and hates on another butch for being butch4butch? How many of you know that she apologizes to her friend at the end for her hateful remarks? Fun fact: when you ostracize a butch for not fitting into your butch-femme subculture aesthetic, you're no better than lesbiphobic bigots actually.

Anyway, here are some butch4butch resources if you are a baby butch4butch and feel alienated by these kinds of weird rhetoric in online and fandom queer spaces too:

Butch4Butch romance books

My Butch4Butch books masterdoc (**being updated regularly**)

Leo Wilder's Butch4Butch writing (18+)

Butch4Butch photography archive (insta)

Boyish² Butch4Butch yuri anthology (insta)

@milsae Butch4Butch artist (tumblr/insta)

This post is made by a trans masc butch of color. Terfs, racists, biphobes and radfems kindly do not derail or interact.

[cheyisagirlkisser]

Ellie Williams HCS💫

Wholesome/Fluffy Ellie x Fem! reader headcannons bc I’m burnt out on writing smut

Gorgeous pics taken by ellsgirll on pinterest click here to see more!

•Ellie loves to write about you in her journal. She’ll pretend to be all “whatever” irl but if you saw her in that garage, laying on her tummy kicking her feet, her pen effortlessly writing your name over and over again..

•Ellie doesn’t talk about you to Joel, and if he asks about her crush on you she will grumble and look all embarrassed, but she does mention you a ton to Jesse. Jesse may give her a hard time but he thinks you would be the perfect girlfriend for her. She needed someone to listen to her stupid space rants, afterall.

•When you first found out Ellie plays guitar, you BEGGED her to play a song for you. She laughed it off as if it weren’t a big deal but was secretly excited she found a chance to impress you. She’d play an old song Joel taught her and it was the sweetest thing. If Ellie weren’t so oblivious, she’d realize that you melted like a puddle right there.

•Ellie was nervous about inviting you to go with her to the winter dance. Jackson��s versions of events were actually pretty fun. People made the best of what they had, and she always looked forward to going and sometimes having a beer or two. However, she was only anxious about it all this time around. When she finally built up the courage to ask you to go with her, you looked genuinely excited. It made her heart flutter and her palms sweaty.

•That dance was a bit awkward but probably the best night of her life. You actually danced with her and she loved the feeling of being close to you, of almost holding you how she wanted to for months now. And the next morning, she’d be ranting to Jesse about how you gave her a kiss on the cheek after she walked you home.

•Ellie would find ways to become paired up with you for patrols or lookouts.

“Hey, Maria. Jesse and Dina want to take the creek trails together. I guess I’ll take Jesse’s place or whatever..”

•Patrols with Ellie were always fun. You’d goof off while she made fun of you. Things felt so right with you, and sometimes when it was summer and the two of you were on foot, you’d hold her hand. You didn’t even mind that it was sweaty.

•Ellie who FINALLY asked you to be her girlfriend when she realized how badly she wanted to kiss you and be yours. When you immediately said yes and planted another kiss on her cheek, she laughed but pulled you in for a real kiss. A real kiss with her soft lips, a grasp onto your waist, and the brush of your noses.

•Things were easy with Ellie, love was easy. She was a little shy, but you were patient with her. She fell in love with you like it was drinking water, always in need of you but feeling like you were the healthiest thing to depend on. She’d call you petnames like “Babe” and always opened her door to you when you missed her. Her bed was cozy, and she was a safety that was so easily there. If only time could freeze her there in Jackson.

Seattle HCS with angst next if this doesn’t flop🙏

[vampire-cupid]

Josh finding out you’re not wearing any panties? (Ignore if boring lol I’m not creative)

Oh I love this! I might have rushed it a bit because I have to leave for work in a bit but I hope you still like it ^^

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!

Curses left your lips as you looked through your bag.

How is it possible that all your panties were gone?

You are very much aware that your boyfriend has a habit of stealing them, which is why you normally pack extra.

But now you found yourself in this situation.

No panties and thanks to Jess accidentally spilling beer over your jeans the day before.

Looking down at yourself, you were glad that Josh’s shirt was long enough to cover you. You just had to wait until the laundry was dry, that’s it.

Once again making sure that you really wouldn’t just flash everyone, you left the room and walked over to the kitchen. Chris and Ashley were already awake, sitting on the couch and giving you a “good morning” as you walked past them.

In the kitchen you found the pantie thief, innocently making a coffee.

Walking over to him, you give him a hug, wishing him a good morning with a kiss on the cheek.

Getting a kiss in return, you grab a mug for your coffee as well, not realizing that you just flashed your ass to Josh as you stretched up.

With your coffee in hand you turn back to your boyfriend, not realizing the dangerous glint in his eyes.

Before he could do something, Sam who just woke up, moved to the kitchen.

Like a zombie, she filled her cup with coffee and sugar before joining Chris and Ashley in the living room.

With a giggle you lean over the bar, laughing after Sam “A good morning to you too.”

The only respond you got was a muffled groan.

Before you could lean back, you felt someones hands under your shirt, fingers circling your pussy.

Feeling Josh press his back against yours, he whispers in your ear “I didn’t realize you were into this.” His husky voice making you shiver.

The chance to defend yourself was gone as you heard footsteps approaching, the weight from your back leaving, meaning that Josh stepped away.

With a sigh, you just focused on Chris who looked around.

“Have you seen Josh somewhere?”

‘Josh?’ You thought, ‘Wasn’t he right behind you?’

But a sudden lick against your core told you otherwise.

Jumping at the feeling you apparently startled Chris who’s focus was now on you.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes-yes. Just a bit jumpy this morning.” You tried to laugh it off.

Josh meanwhile was having the time of his life, his hands keeping your legs spread enough to reach your heat with his face, licking and sucking against your clit until you were dripping down on him.

“So, do you have any idea where Josh is?” Chris asked again.

“I think he just carried out the garbage, he should be back soon.”

During your talk with his best friend, Josh turned around, now his tongue could reach your entrance while his nose came in contact against your clit. He knew how you loved the feeling.

Holding your upper thighs, he pulled you down on his face.

It didn’t take long for his face to get coated in your juices.

You still tried to somehow shoo Chris away, hinting that he should rather wait with Ashley.

But he wouldn’t listen, instead sitting down opposite of you and rambling on about how he doesn’t have any chances with her.

Normally you would listen to his rant but right now your only focus was on trying to not make a sound.

But you couldn’t hold back a squeak as Josh pushed two of his fingers inside you.

Pretending to cough, you moved your hand down to Josh, hopefully pushing his head away.

But Josh just moved his fingers faster inside you, sucking harshly on your clit and you felt your orgasm approach quickly.

This time you couldn’t help the quiet whimpers that forced themselves out of your mouth.

“Are you sure you are ok? You look a bit flushed.” Chris asked, moving his hand to your face to feel your heated cheeks.

“I think I’m getting a cold, could you maybe grab me some medicine from the bathroom?”

Finally Chris moved.

As soon as he left the kitchen, you let yourself drop on the bar, not able to hold back any longer as you whimpered in your hand finally reaching your peak.

Josh dutifully licked up every drop you would give him, kissing for pussy for a job well done before finally getting up and hugging you from behind.

“You should go commando more often.” He chuckles, kissing your cheek before hastily grabbing a towel as Chris came back.

[amorchai]

OMG IM IN LOVE WITH UR JESS MARIANO FICCS!! can i request a jess mariano x reader? the reader is a naturally loud and bubbly person. reader is talking to jess abt something they're excited abt, but realize that theyve been talking the entire time and jess hasnt said anything, reader automatically shuts down and stops themselves bc they're always told that theyre too loud and talk to much. i need the comfort fics😢😢 <3

𝐉𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄.

pairing(s): jess mariano x reader

words: 466

warnings/tags: insecurity ( r thinks they talk too much )

you had been mid-rant, jess fresh on break with a tea towel over his shoulder and hair tousled from the aftermath of mid-afternoon rush in luke’s café. when you had entered, the chaos of people leaving, jess breathed a sigh of relief and his uncle granted him his break.

you were talking about your long day at college – filled with dramatic students and unsympathetic professors, jess was sitting across from you, head perched on his palm staring at you.

“… i didn’t do one of the readings because i used that time to see you instead, god forbid i have a social life because he didn’t care… he just looked right at me and said that i should’ve known the answer.”

jess quirks a smile, a simple ‘how was your day?’ turning into a ramble that he didn’t dare interrupt. he knew you were interested in him, you just needed to offload and then you’d ask how his day was – even though his was significantly more boring than yours.

“anyways, i met paris for a bit during our free periods – she drove down and we grabbed some lunch. so that made me feel better, oh they had the best black coffee! paris loved it! i should take you sometime-”

you take notice into how jess is staring at you, your energy yields as you take it for boredom rather than admiration, the relationship was still fairly new in your defence.

“i would love that, baby,” jess replies.

your eyebrows furrow, your finger that previously runs across jess’ free palm stops. jess matches your expression, hand cupping yours with a small, “what’s just happened?” confused by the sudden silence and change of energy.

“no, sorry, was just rambling. i haven’t even asked you how your day was…” you trail off, looking down to your hands to avoid eye contact in case you might cry. jess tries to meet your gaze, head lobbing down, “it’s okay, i like listening to you talk.”

you look at him, eyes wide and confused, “you do?” jess’ heart throbs in his chest, unsure if you’ve been called out on being talkative or upbeat before, but a topic he’ll bring up another time. “’course, baby.”

your biting your lip anxiously, the need to kiss him very much sitting in your heart, if only you weren’t in the company of small-town eyes – babette sitting across the room. “how was your day?” you ask jess, smiling happily when he takes both your hands in his.

“alright, kirk saying this, dean annoying the living the hell outta me. but tell me more about the café. we could go on friday after your college class, yeah?”

you couldn’t help following your heart in leaning over and kissing jess, even if it was only for a few seconds.

amorchai masterlist . taglist

amorchai © ��� all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/copying will be tolerated.

[shelbgrey]

✨Pookie😏✨Mother Pinecone🥳✨Fellow Simp🤩✨ can I request some lovely shrexy headcanons for the one and only Sammy Winchester😳 I just need some fluff and steamy steamy spicy headcanons please🥹 I’ll pay😉🫴💰💳💵

Dating Sam Winchester Headcanons:

Paring: Sam Winchester X Singer!Reader

Summary: headcanons about Sam dating Bobby Singer's kid. -SMUT warning!

💚MasterList ML2 💚MoodBoard

Between Sam being John's kid and you being Bobby's, you spent a lot of time together as kids.

You were always closer to Sam, you and him bonded over books and you were both the quiet ones.

It was obvious there was something between you two even when you were kids, but you were both completely clueless.

“the only two people who don't know Sam and y/n like each other are Sam and y/n” - Dean

But then he went off to college, you guys talked through letters and Emails for the first few months. Then he met Jes and you guys talked less and less.

Deep down Sam knew he dated Jess just to get over you, but then he felt awful to think that way after she died.

He never would have expected that you'd show up with Dean, telling him John was missing. Sam honestly hated to see the skilled hunter you have become, he always thought you deserved better.

Deep down he knew he stayed for you. College didn't matter much to him anymore and neither did finding his dad. He rekindled his friendship with you and wanted to protect you.

Hell, he would take you away from the hunting life if he could.

Before you knew it the three of you were a trio again. Saving people and hunting things together.

Then before you knew it you and Sam both fell back in to your original, clueless act you had with each other. It pissed Dean off, because he knew you guys liked each other.

Dean also knew neither one of you had the balls to admit your feelings. So he took matters into his own hands.

“Hey, y/n, you busy Saturday night?” Dean asked one night. “no?”

“Sammy, you sure as hell ain't busy” Dean joked, Sam rolled his eyes and sighed. “yeah... I'm not”

“good, because I am... You two go out and have a good time” Dean told you both.

Yeah Dean asked you out on a date for Sam. Both of you had mixed reactions, you didn't know how to proses what what just happened and Sam was just annoyed Dean was getting up in his business. Dean didn't stop you guys from going out.

he is sweet and gentle when he kisses you. The kisses you and him share are always sweet and full of passion. He pours everything into his kisses when his lips are on yours.

He definitely said 'I love you.' he said it after he had to save you from a vampires nest he told you he couldn't lose you and he loves you.

Sam would be the one to encourage you to go on rants or nerd out about things your passionate about. He'll listen beginning to end. If your like: “sorry if I'm talking too much” Sam will say: “no, no, keep going. I'm listening”

Not being stuck in his Tuesday time loop, but helping the best you can.

Sam's Hugs are warm and tight. Since he's so much taller than you he usually picks you up and holds you to his chest as your legs are wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck holding him tight.

he promised to himself and you that if you were to get hurt by anything and he did mean anything at all, he would kill it. Even the smallest cut or bruse on you, he would freak out and with a gun in his hand, he would go after the very thing that dared to put a wound on you.

Sex with him has always been on the Adventurous side, but he learns your limits quickly and wouldn't do anything to hurt you. But when soulless Sam shows up there's no slowing down.

Even though Soulless Sam is hot one of the things he cares about most is sex and it might seem that's all he wants at the time, but the moment you get hurt the person or thing that hurt you is in a heaping pile of blood and broken bones.

Research dates all the time, you think it's boring as hell but your happy just to he able to spend time with him.

He's a health nut so he's always getting on to you and dean about your eating habits. “you know those things could kill you, right?” Sam asks as he watches you drink a monster energy drink, you'll just shrug him off.

You appreciate his concerns and you do back off on some stuff and let him cook you a healthy meal.

“what is that?” you asked staring at the blender in Discussed. “it's a smoothy, its good for you” he said pouring you a cup. “it's green goop”

✨Forehead kisses✨ he's a giant after all, so it's easier and convenient to just give you a little kiss on the forehead. He also loves it when your setting in his lap and giving him the same treatment.

Matching bracelets. Jack went through a friendship bracelet making phase and you made a couple with him. You and Sam both have one, he refuses to take it off. “you don't have to wear it”

“no, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off”

You and Sam are literally Jack's parents, you probably end up adopting him at some point.

Never giving up on getting him out of hell, you hated the fact Dean when to live with Lisa. So while he got a girlfriend you were threatening crossroad demons for awnsers.

Making dirty jokes with Dean all the time to annoy Sam.

If Dean pranks Sam, you'll help get back at Dean. One time you convinced Sam to have sex in the impala just to piss Dean off.

Lucifer has the undying love for you and hits on you all the time, it pisses Sam off to no end.

Getting to see Sully first hand because he knew how much Sam ment to you and Sully just really wanted to meet the person that made Sam so happy.

Jody being a mother to you.

He absolutely loves feeling your fingers run through his hair. He'll kill to have his head on your cheat while you play with his hair after a rough hunt.

If your a smut book you get really secretive about and he'll notice quickly. “What you reading?” you blush and hold the book away from him. “nothing”

If he gets a hold of the book and reads a steamy part if the book, he'll probably want to try what he read too.

This man need physical contact a lot. He's a big cuddler and just needs you in his arms, it's a comfort and a protection thing.

He wants to hold your hand all the time too, if your walking around the bunker or a town your hands will be locked together, or sometimes hell just hold your had while doing research.

Communication won't be a problem in your relationship. You both just find it so easy to talk to each other.

But if you get into a fight, your fight loud and mean. There will be the silent treatment.

He's a bed hog so get used to sleeping right on top of him or right up against him because there's no room for personal space when you share a bed, especially if it's a motel bed.

He also hogs blankets.

You have bad sex in the bunker library, do with that information as you will.

You steal his flannels all the time, they're just so big and comfy.

He's good at turning you on😏

NSFW headcanons:

Sammy has a size kink, he loves the fact you are shorter than him. It makes it easier for him to manhandle you and throw you around without even trying.

likes to pretty much fuck you stupid. like to the point your shaking, you only can think of his dick and babbling his name. you probably won't be walking the next morning.

he's ✨skilled✨ with his hands, those big massive hands. it doesn't matter what he's doing with them, in between your legs, your face, around your neck, in your hair, I don't matter he knows what he's doing.

Hair pulling, he loves feeling your fingers in his hair or he'll tangel his fingers in yours and tug on it when he's getting head or about ready to cum.

He didn't realize how much he actually liked it untill you started pulling on his hair while he was eating you out. “Damn... Do that again... Please”

Biting, he's loves marking you up. There has been many times you had to cover your neck with makeup, but most of the bite marks are on your thighs.

But he also lives for the moments where it's just sensual and gentle. He secretly loves just holding you and kissing you slowly.

He wants to see if he can he make you scream louder than he did the last time. He loves the noises you make.

He well bend you over the table in the bunker library and take you from behind.

The desk will creak from the force he uses and his large body will presse you hard against the desk.

He loves hearing the moans and gasps coming out of your mouth.

Part of him will want you to be louder, even though he knew you aren't supposed to be sometimes.

He'll mark your thighs with his teeth and biting hard enough to leave a light bruise.

Sam loves being dominate towards you. Choking you and edging you. “come on, Baby. Cum for me again”

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

He has a tendency to grip the headboard when he's close to cumming.

“that’s it baby, there you go. takining me so well, honey.”

Sam loves the way his hands look on your body. Even better if you’re smaller than him, he just wants to be touching you all the fucking time.

He love getting head. I feel like he’d like having you on your knees. Plus, feeling your lips around him pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth.

If you’re struggling to take him in or taking long to adjust, he’ll whisper reassurances that you’re doing a good job while rubbing his hands on your back and thighs.

Sam first thought after sex he's always checking on you, making sure it felt good and your not sore. He is very gentle, cleaning you up and giving you anything you need before even thinking of himself.

[xervn]

like a french girl 🎨

part 1 - paint me | part 2 | art major ellie x dance major reader | ellie photo

ao3 link

summary: ellie had been struggling with finding the perfect model for her art final. that was until she saw you.

18+ MDNI | 2.2k words | tags; college au, pining, only a little explicit, no use of y/n, not proofread

disclaimer: not an art or dance major, don't shoot!

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Scribble, scratch, throw. This has been Ellie’s routine since she moved onto campus.

Why? Her professor told her that she draws the human body like it’s lifeless. Ranting about how they’re too one-dimensional and have no depth, her lines are too sharp or not sharp enough; flat and boring in looks and in feeling. 

Now listen, Ellie has nothing against criticism. She respects her professor and she’s aware that her drawings lack “vitality”. It’s been something she’s struggled with for a while now, an effect of some recent events and overall adjusting to college life. 

Ellie isn’t unable to grasp the anatomy of the body, in fact it’s the opposite. She knows the human body is complex and needs thorough observation. The way the sun hits the skin, the hairs on a knuckle, the creases of a smile. Wide, small, big, tall; no two bodies are exactly the same. 

Really, the imagery is so clear to her, but she finds it impossible to transfer the life and motion of the body onto a piece of paper without truly understanding the person. The way she sees it, every body has a story, and in order to make a good piece she needs to know that story.

Since art school is filled to the brim with inspiring, exciting, and vibrant people, she has, of course, tried to talk with them. She attempted to get to know the models, ask them general questions and hope something clicks. Unfortunately, that has yet to happen. She can’t really ask her friends either without it getting awkward. Imagine, “ Oh, hey guys! Can you guys get naked and pose in one spot for my homework?”   Hear how weird that sounds? Even though she’s sure Jesse would definitely be down, she values her eyes.

 Any “muse” she could possibly ever want was right in front of her, so why was it really impossible for her to find one?

 Well, because Ellie didn’t find anyone interesting enough. She’s not shallow or anything, it has nothing to do with how the model looked, Ellie has had several good-looking models. It was more about how she perceived them. It’s just that she hasn’t seen a model that made her ask questions like: “ How’d they get that scar?”  “ What does that tattoo mean?” Stuff like that.

The last interesting model she had was probably a fucking homeless guy she shared a blunt with outside a gas station many moons ago. Till this day, he might be one of her best pieces. There’s not a lot of moments like that here.

Nonetheless, Ellie saw this developing– extremely lame— personal requirement of hers annoying as shit. It’s holding her back big time, but she couldn’t help it even if she really wanted to.

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It’s practically useless to keep trying. The tiny voice in Ellie's head presses her to keep going, keep failing, but enough is enough. She is seriously burnt out and any more of this might kill her. The only thing that could help right now is a meaty slice of pizza and a blunt as soon as she thought of it.

Ellie clears out her desk, knocking the stack of crumpled paper into a conveniently placed trash can; a placement made from her constant trials and errors. She pushes up, and stretches widely, obnoxiously groaning like an old man by the end of it. She quickly tidied herself up, tying up half of her hair into a ponytail and throwing on a dark-green flannel shirt she had to sniff before wearing over her plain white tee. She takes a quick look into her floor-length mirror, making sure she looks presentable before grabbing what she needs to head out.

Just as her hand reached for the silver knob, Ellie felt this overwhelming urge to look back. God, she knows what she is going to look back at, but she really hopes she doesn’t. Unfortunately, her eyes land on her sketchbook, laid flat on the desk underneath a lamp’s warm light. She shouldn’t.

She needs a break. She knows she needs a break, but there is a twinge of hope, faith, lodged somewhere inside her. The same faith that’s kept her from dropping out every day for the past four months. Ellie groans as she drags her feet to her desk where she whisks up the brown book and shoves it in her tote bag with an accompanying pencil. She swivels back to the door and strolls out, silently praying her mood improves in the next hour.

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The cafeteria was surprisingly crowded, but Ellie managed to get her pizza without saying ‘fuck it’ to the line. Still, the thought of eating between this buzzing mess when she was in such a shitty mood turned her off. Thankfully, she knew that everyone would be everywhere but the upstairs balcony, especially during this chilly time of year. No sane person would eat out there, and she’s not particularly sane. Ellie saunters off to the balcony and sits herself at a small table facing the view.

It only took a glance around before she came to the realization that the view is not really a view. There’s only a dorm a few feet away, directly across. It’s a large brick-laid, generic building with wide windows. If it weren’t for the blinds, the view into a room would probably be good enough to read a label on something. Ellie’s freckled face grimaces at the thought, imagining what it’d be like if someone watched her rage as she messed up her homework over and over from this distance. Despite that, she thought it’d probably be a pretty good spot to live in. It’s close to the cafeteria and probably a lot bigger than her 1x1 dorm.

With a twinge of curiosity piquing her mind, Ellie glimpses over the windows, and for the most part, they are all closed.

All closed, but yours.

Yours doesn’t even have blinds. You’re on the 3rd floor and almost completely unobscured in a black camisole, sitting on your questionably roomy windowsill with a leg perched up. Ellie can see the fairy lights strung up in your bedroom, and a line of succulents closer to the window; ordered by size, which she briefly thought was cute. 

You aren’t facing the window, so she can only see your back. What she could see, though, is you doing your hair, occasionally swaying to what she can only imagine is music. Your room is high, but low enough for her to identify you if she had the pleasure of knowing you. Knowing you, reverberates in her head. Does she know you? Has she met you before? Amongst that babble, there is one more question she is slowly trying to gather an answer to. 

Time passes, most definitely shorter than Ellie would have thought passed. Her eyes have been glued on you the whole time, she even forgot about her, now freezing cold, pizza just so she could gawk at you. She still hasn’t seen your face yet, barely even a glimpse, but she already thinks you are stupidly beautiful just by the way you move.

From the graciousness of your movements alone, she thought there was no way in hell you didn’t know she was watching. At some point, your arms got tired, so you smoothly rolled your aching shoulders back; stretching into an arched, effortlessly perfect posture. Ellie’s eyes traced that slight curve of your back as if you’d disappear if she broke off from you.

There is no way it gets better from that, is what she thinks to herself, only to be shut up immediately after when she sees that perfectness of your back stay as you bend over and shift onto both knees to grab something far away, bringing your shorts in view. So short— so tight , they could easily be mistaken for panties. 

It was unexpected to say the least, Ellie could feel her face heating up and had to look around her to see if anyone else could see what she was seeing right now. Ellie wondered about the practicality of those shorts, wondered what exactly they were supposed to cover, leering at the plush of your ass peeking out. She thoughtlessly lets her jaw drop before muttering out a low, impressed, and barely over a whisper, “Well, fuck.”

You must’ve noticed your shorts riding up, since you quickly pulled them down after you grabbed what you wanted. Ellie clears her throat, internally scolding herself for being so gross— so perverted. Her brows furrow in embarrassment from all the dirty thoughts she brewed up in that moment. But for some reason, she still doesn’t look away. Well, there’s a list of reasons for her to look away, but she feels like ignoring it. 

Then a cold gust of wind bites past her face, clearly a sign from the universe that she should snap out of it, and snap out of it she does. 

What the hell happened to her? What is it about you that she keeps leaning into? Suddenly something clicks in her brain. After months of creative agony, something finally clicked. She has sat here completely fascinated by you and she couldn’t tell sooner?

In all honesty, to say she is just “interested” in you would be an understatement. Yeah, now she thinks you’re the perfect model for her final, but she wants to know you beyond just the drawing. A plus is that you just happened to be hot, and Ellie has never been attracted to a subject before, so the whole thing was new and exciting to her. Just the thought of drawing you made her remember why she loved art so much.  Ellie reaches for her tote bag sitting in an empty seat beside her, pulling out her sketchbook with more enthusiasm than she probably ever has. She sets the book down, opening up a blank page with one hand and tightening her grip on her pencil in the other.

She looks back up at your window, ready to sketch your life onto paper and..  Shit. You’re looking back.

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Today has been a good day for you, your teacher chose  you to teach the choreo you’ve been working on for weeks to your classmates. It was an obvious ego booster for you. You felt good and you wanted to look good too, even if you weren’t going out anywhere. It was just one of those nights. You wanted to experiment with your hair, thinking maybe you’ll do something new before your next practice. Dye it, cut it.. something.

It’s been a while since you started, and after several wrist and shoulder cramps, you were finally finished. You take a look into your hand mirror, peering at your reflection. You’re satisfied now, looking exactly how you’re feeling if you minus the dingy sleep clothes you’re in. 

♫ My heart, I never be, I never see, I never know. ♫

Grimes? Really? You pout, upset that your playlist didn’t magically read your mood. What you need is real 2000’s hot girl music. Britney Spears, Nelly Furtado, or Beyoncé for crying out loud.

“Alexa, skip!” You shout across the room, just loud enough for the device to hear. 

The stupid thing doesn’t even light up, so you call out a few more times but to no avail. Isn’t the whole point of that thing to be voice automated? You sigh and look around for your phone, and seeing it’s nowhere in front of you, you figure it’s behind. You twist your torso to find your phone behind you and luckily you do. As you pick it up, you casually glance out the window without any expectations. 

Did you see a figure in the blur as you looked away? You question your eyes, but you decide to take another look and just find out for yourself.

You peer back down and your eyes meet with someone else’s. The sudden eye contact between you and this woman instantly mortified you. Your heart sunk, and all you could do was raise your brows stupidly. She was surprised too, even in the dim light you could see her shocked expression boring back at you. Not only that, it went on for way longer than it should have. Any normal person would’ve looked away, but her eyes lingered on you before she hastily turned away. 

You’ve been sitting here, dressing up your hair, listening to your music without a care in the world. Far too absorbed in yourself to realize there’s someone outside your window. You slide off your windowsill and out of sight. Just as your bottom finally hits the wood floor, you feel the coldness of it against your skin and you’re immediately conscious of the fact that your ass was literally out at some point. 

The poor girl was trying to eat her food and you were bending over in front of your window like a harlot. It certainly didn’t help that she looked kinda hot. Did she? You peeked over your windowsill, hoping to get another look to really assess her hotness, but she was already gone. Whatever, maybe she didn’t see? But she looked embarrassed… embarrassed for you probably!

You hide your face in your hands and topple to the side, letting out a fake sob. Oh, god. You can already imagine Dina’s face when you tell her. You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at that thought. That was humiliating as shit, but it’s whatever. It’s not like you’ll see her again. 

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side note: if you have any tropes you'd like to see w/ this universe pls do drop an ask 🤭

click 4 more!

[stranger-awakening]

since it's back: obligatory post to encourage each and every one of you to boop me with reckless abandon

[ebonyslasher]

Them Thangs Thanging, Unfortunately

Basically, reader is a woman who has extremely large breast. Aka ME, this shit isn't for the weak. Just wanted to write about a few struggles we have. This doesn't even cover half of it.

Big Breast!Reader x Michael Myers, Daniel Lamb, Chromeskull, and Ghostface (Danny Johnson)

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Growing up was a struggle. 

That statement is true for many, especially during early teenhood. Middle schoolers were the most ruthless and awkward looking individuals to exist. However, there was an extra layer of struggle for the girls who had very progressive physical development(s). Specifically, those who developed their breasts early.

That was you. And unfortunately, your breast kept growing and growing. Even through early adulthood, with your weight fluctuating, your breast kept growing. They were always big, mind you. But now, as an adult, they were humongous. And what other people called a blessing, you just called a problem. Many problems at that included: 

Price

Bra’s, already, were expensive. For one piece of specialized cloth was $30 to $40. Add onto the fact that you had big breast? Oh, now the price wanted to double. Good luck if you were so big that you had to order custom. Prepare for your soul and wallet to be hurt. Custom bras can set someone back at least $100 easy!

With Michael, it was an odd situation. He would hear you complain about the price, but never understood why. He could just steal them for you, either from the store or from a victim. You, of course, didn’t want a bra from some random, especially with blood on it. EW. His plan could work if he would remembered your size...and if they even had it in store. 

Well, price wasn’t an issue with Chromeskull! He already treated you like a queen. If you wanted, he would have someone find bras for you. That way, you don’t even need the stress of looking. You find the bras lined up on a table every few months for you to pick from. What a life!

Daniel listened to your problems and saw firsthand how much they could get up to. Eyebrows shot up at the $79 bra that sat on your screen. After his missions, he would steal money or cards off corpses to give to you. You’d find a pile laying on your desk when he couldn’t stay, with a note saying ‘For your bra troubles!’ He was so sweet.

Ghostface didn’t care. He didn’t have to pay for the bras, so not his problem! He barely listens, pretending to only see any bras you might get next. Pervert. He wouldn't mind you getting a smaller bra, trying to imagine you as those anime girls wearing the smallest bikinis. 

“So you want me to look like I'm from One Piece??! Natural breasts in real life don’t work like that dummy!”

Size availability

Speaking of One Piece, it felt like you had to travel through the seven seas just to find bras in your size. Trying to find cute ones? You’re asking for the impossible. Most stores didn’t have your size. Forget about places like Victoria's Secret and especially Aerie. Lane Bryant may have your size, unless your band size is small. So, that means you have to order your bras online. Sucks, since you couldn’t try them on before buying. 

Michael stood in the store, comically looming behind you, surrounded by multicolored bras. He noticed that your posture fell as you spoke with a store worker. “Unfortunately, we don’t carry those sizes in store. We have them online and you could get it shipped here.” No thanks. It’d just be better to get something shipped to your house. You sighed in disappointment. Michael squints his eyes at the worker. Maybe he could come back and look to see what they really have in the back…

Availability was no longer a problem thanks to Jesse. Your masked sweetheart hired a personal designer that would make bras tailored to you. And you can tell them just how cute you’d like the bra to be.

A comforting hand lands on your shoulder as you relay the issue of finding your cup and band size in store. Daniel listens on as you rant, throwing your hands up in frustration. “Of course, I’d be the one with a small band size and huge ass breast!”  While you talk, he peruses the internet for different online stores that may have your size. You two curate a list of some, avidly reading any reviews that pop up.

“Oh well, hey, maybe this gives you the excuse to not wear bras anymore. Heh, I definitely won’t mind the view,” Danny joked after you told him the news. You roll your eyes and tell him to shut up. He really doesn’t care about your dilemma, pushing you to go braless, so he could see those juicy tatas bouncing. Although, if you get on him enough and promise him something nice, maybe he could magically get you some bras.

Clothing restrictions

There were certain articles of clothing that you couldn’t wear. Sad, since there were some cute looks that you just couldn’t do logistically. Bralettes and button down shirts were the devil. You saw the bralettes trending and said, “Nope. No way I could do that”. Button down shirts were deceptive. It would work up until the point the button around your breast would pop open. Understandable, since the small button couldn’t handle the pressure of holding back such big bouncing melons. You tried again one day, hoping that the designs became better throughout the years. As you walked around, the buttons popped open. The image of soft brown breast were revealed to the world in…

Michael’s steel blues, which immediately pinpoint the wardrobe malfunction. His head slowly tilts. Michael stoically ogles, secretly licking his lips as he enjoys the view. He notices your embarrassment and frustration. He feels a little bad, but that was overshadowed by the deliciousness of your reaction. He loves seeing you get worked up. He wouldn’t mind watching you bouncing around to throw a tantrum.

Jesse’s eyeless mask gleams. He raises his eyebrows at the incident. You try to button your shirt back up. The button only stays a moment before it gives up, bouncing off the shirt for the sweet release of death. The button clinks against the marble floor. You look down in disbelief as Jesse’s shoulders shake in glee. This was the funniest thing he’s seen all week!

Daniel’s zenith blue eyes pop wide open, mimicking the poor button that flew off. His face was a light shade of pink as he observed the scene. “Oh Shit…,” he whispers. Trying not to stare at your obvious malfunction, he peers up at your face that looks beautifully frustrated at the button on the ground. His eyes were full of empathy as walks over. “How about we try another shirt, huh?,” Daniel asks as he chuckles lightly.

“Hallelujah!” Ghostface shouts as he zeros in on this fantastic view. His perverted chocolate eyes were glued to your happy accident. You scoff and cover the malfunction with your hands. The view of that amazing bosom was now obscured, which angered Ghostface. He marches over right as he says, “Hey! Don’t cover those. Ghosty wants to see!”

Back pain

These breasts weighed heavy as gravity worked against your favor. Lugging around these gigantic bust meant the pull and strain against your back muscles. Those back muscles were only so strong, which would get weaker as you got older. The random aches in the upper, middle, and lower part of your back plagued your existence. You tried your best to keep good posture, but it was tiring.

Michael will rub your back if you ask. Well, only if he gets something in exchange. Dessert, you bent over, a good meal, or a new knife. You choose and it better be the right choice depending on his mood. Be warned that Michael is heavy handed as hell. His digs feel like he’s punching through your body. It might be a while before his massages become beneficial.

Jesse will hire a professional masseuse when he's on a spree. However, he would never turn down the opportunity to knead your supple muscles. You don’t mind if he goes a little lower, right Princess? He’ll also treat you with a doctor to get some treatment options going. 

Skilled and dangerous hands rub your back, the heavenly sensation of warm oil glides with every movement. Daniel, the sweet man that he is, gladly volunteers to bring you temporary relief. If he’s unable to caress your lovely form, he leaves you some pain medicine and healing meds that he comes across. The healing meds were heavenly. He, later, suggests having a reduction so you won’t have to suffer anymore.

Danny will massage you only because he wants his hands on that perfect body. And lowkey wants you to stop complaining all the time. God, it was annoying. He frequently offers to hold your breast up as you walk around. “I’ll even hold them up out in public. Just think, you’ll have your own boobie holder everywhere you go.” That shit eating grin on his handsome face didn’t faze you. Your face scrunches at his perverted comment. You take him up on the offer…only at home. You wouldn’t admit that it was a big help for your posture. You didn’t need to, Danny could tell how much it was helping by your relieved expression.

[lcriedlastnight]

lost the breakup | charles leclerc

○tw: alcohol, swears, charles is a proper dick, silly reader, this is the most angsty thing over ever wrote. to celebrate charles win today!○

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : w/c: 4.3k of pure hell.

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"this would be so much easier without you!" it felt like those words flitted around your brain in a loop ever since that night in charles' flat. you hadn't intended it to turn into a massive fight, all you said was you couldn't wait for summer break to finally spend some time with your boyfriend. but seemingly that was all it took for charles to go off on one, roaring at you as if you had actually done something wrong.

you had stood, staring at the man after he had stopped ranting about how being with you only brought him down and how life before you was much easier on him. you couldn't believe that was actually what he thought of your relationship. i mean it wasn't perfect, but who's was? all that you thought mattered was that you tried to make each other happy, and up until today you had thought that you were succeeding in that, clearly not.

"do you mean that?" there was an obvious wobble in your voice that you had tried to disguise but it didn't matter, charles didn't care anyways. you knew that now.

all it took for you to scramble to find somewhere new was that singular nod of his head. you knew he wasn't sure if he meant it but he nodded. he fucking nodded. you could've forgiven him if he took it all back then and there, he didn't even have to beg for your forgiveness you would've just given him it. but he didn't. you didn't mean as much to him as he did to you and he had made that oh so clear tonight. so you did what any sane person would do, you grabbed a pair of shoes and a jacket and left. a part of you thought that maybe he had said all that just to get a rise out of you and to create a fight between the two of you, for whatever reason? you didn't know but you had a nagging feeling that was why he did it. or maybe your brain was just trying to soften the blow of your boyfriend secretly despising you for god knows how long.

so yeah, that was how you ended up rotting in your bed. at this point you really shouldn't still care about him anymore but your heart refused to let him go. and it annoyed you so much. how was it fair that you sat here mourning your relationship and what it could've been while he was out there winning grand prix's and clubbing every other night, seen with a different girl every single time. while he was out picking up girls you were picking up your heart, that had gone straight in the journal as soon as you had thought it.

the fans had realised something was up by the second day of your breakup. you hadn't even collected all of your things from his yet and they were already trending you both on twitter. it honestly felt like the last thing you needed right now but you smiled through the pain and tried to make your instagram feel as normal as possible until charles put up a statement about it, so that you could too. then you could finally put this relationship to rest.

being with charles had given you a following of sorts of your own and you felt like you owed them something, seeing as they only liked you because you were dating- used to date charles. your best friend and current roommate (for the time being, seeing as you were living with charles full time before the breakup) jess had told you millions of times that they were just random strangers and you didn't owe them anything. it never eased the weight you felt though.

one night after the third night in a row of summer break (that very same summer break that you were longing to spend with charles) that charles was out and had been pictured taking some random girl home was the night where jess had tried to snap you out of it.

"i think it hurts more that literally none of them look like me? like if any of them resembled me at least i would know that he missed me, even a little bit. even if it was subconscious, you know?" you had ranted, staring holes into your phone that had showed you the dreaded pictures of the three girls who all looked alike in regards to each other but nothing like you. in fact they were the complete opposite of you in every single way.

jess had swiped your phone off of you and slid it into the back pocket of her jeans.

"look, you technically broke up with him but it doesn't matter. he clearly doesn't care so why the fuck should you?" ever so blunt, jess was.

"i don't mean to be mean, you know that. i mean this in the nicest way possible but you have to get over yourself. this isn't the end of the world as much as it feels like it. the world has continued to spin this past week and it will continue to do so no matter what so you need to get up and live your life. you're wasting your emotions on a man who literally doesn't care whether you live or die at this point."

although it was filled to the brim with all the shit you didn't want to hear, jess knew exactly what you needed and she gave you the wake up call you had been needing since that night. that night she helped you wash your bed sheets and tidy your room up, moving the furniture while blasting taylor swift's breakup songs. jess was still letting you grieve the relationship because she knew better than anyone, that you can't just hear one inspiring speech and finally stop caring about him. even though she knew that you would stop caring sooner rather than later with the way he was acting.

★・・・・・・★

"you better not wear that skirt with those heels!" jess' girlfriend, hailey had shouted over the thrumming bass of someone's getting ready playlist. you weren't too sure who's it was but you knew for certain it was not the usual music that was played in the flat.

'the inchident' (which you thought was a particularly cruel play on words) had happened almost a month ago and jess had invited your closest friends for a night out in monaco. as well as her girlfriend, she had also invited sophie, probably your second best friend.

"why?" sophie asked back, brows down as she moves the skirt in her hands, looking for an issue with it. "it looks good, no?". three shakes of heads are her answers.

"soph it looks so fugly." jess said, trying to pull on a pair of doc martens. you had burst out laughing at that and it had set everyone else off too. you knew pre-drinks were a great idea. the group had already taken three shots already and for a lightweight like you, this was the perfect state to go to the club like. drunk enough that the night seemed endless, plus you would save a fortune on drinks while you were there too, seeing as you were almost on your way to being absolutely smashed. exactly what you needed after this past month.

as you all clamber into the taxi to take you to the club, the group chatters with each other while jess is chatting away to the driver. she got so talkative when she had alcohol in her system. the ride to the club wasn't long so when you all arrive and after you had all given about a million thank you's to the driver you head into the club.

you and sophie find a table to sit at while jess and hailey head in the direction of the bar, hailey offering to buy the first round in celebration of you finally going out with them for the first time in months.

in the taxi ride over, sophie was telling you all about the boy she was speaking to and how he may or may not be a famous athlete. after a joke or two from you about watching what she's getting into she tells you that she had been on a few dates with him and they were days away, as she put it, from becoming official. with all of this in mind you still had no idea why, when you were both on the hunt for a free table, scouring around the very back of the club, she suddenly stops in her tracks, grabs your arm and turns to face you. the poor girl looked like she was about to pass out. surely she hadn't had that much to drink already, you had just gotten here, you had thought to yourself before she spoke up.

"that's him! he's here?!" sophie whisper shouts as she kind of just stands there, almost like shes lagging. you look at her, confusion plastered all over your face.

"who? who's here?" you ask her. it's easy to tell she is annoyed at your question but she's much too preoccupied to tell you off for it in her usual sophie manner. like her fight or flight kicks in at that very moment she suddenly pulls you towards the large booth filled with people, seemingly all men but maybe a few girls from what you could make out. it was actually really dark in this part of the club.

"my man." the blonde girl whispers to you like it was obvious, nothing was obvious to you when you were sober never mind this tipsy. you recognise a man at the end of the row but it doesn't sink in your muddled brain until you are standing directly in front of near enough half of the grid.

you stand like a deer in headlights as it clicks in your brain. the weight of a thousand busses suddenly weighing down on your chest. oh this was so not good. you hadn't looked to see if he was here but did you really need to? it seemed like he was going out at any chance he could find since the two of you last spoke. you avert your attention to sophie who was standing very closely to the man at the edge, who you now could see what carlos. you had no idea that was who she was talking about.

you hear someone in front of you call your name, one of the drivers, maybe lando? he had always been nice to you any time you and charles went out together and ran into him. you don't reply, not that you get the chance to because an arm is gripping yours from behind and at first you swear your heart falls right to the ground and is so very close to taking you with it but you look over and see it was only jess and hailey with your drinks. this was not how tonight was supposed to go.

jess says something you can't hear to sophie and the blonde nods back before you feel your best friend pulling you away from the table. you still feel frozen as she drags you to a free table you and sophie must have missed on your own hunt. you felt like you were having an out of body experience. there was no fucking way in hell that just happened. no way he was here. why couldn't he just let you have this one night to yourself without ruining it? he had already ruined your life, what else does he want?

hailey slides you your drink of choice and heads back up to the bar to order another, knowing you'll need it. jess could see the look in your eyes even if you couldn't feel it yet. what stage of grief was this you were in now? because all you wanted to do was to get the ground to swallow you whole. maybe depression. jess' soft voice pulls you out of your daze.

"hey, drink it. i'm not encouraging drinking to numb your feelings but tonight is not the night to deal with whatever the fuck that was." jess says, her voice as comforting as she could make it. you really appreciated it so you downed your drink and waited for hailey to come with your next.

"we'll process this tomorrow but tonight, we drink." hailey says as she returns. you swear you hear her curse sophie under her breath as you drink. you didn't blame sophie though, she didn't know he would be there and clearly didn't think before she acted. you think that maybe hailey and jess are mad at her now. great, another thing in your life falling apart. you were so getting shitfaced tonight.

the drinks blended into one another as you danced with your friends after sophie had joined you, after promising to carlos she would leave with him.

you were swaying to one of your favourite songs when carlos come over to distract sophie, you just smiled at the two 'couples' that surrounded you. even if there was a clear favourite, nothing against carlos but c'mon. it was jess and hailey. speaking of they had signalled to tell you they were off to join the long line for the toilets. they had asked of you wanted to come but you didn't need to pee so you said no. you should've went though, you probably would need to pee by the time you got to the front of the line but your drunk brain was not in the mood for rational thinking.

that's why when a man slides his arms around you don't protest it and instead lean into him. it had nothing to do with the familiar scent flooding your nose or the hums you heard every single night in your sleep, nope. nothing to do with that twat.

"This one is your favourite, no?" his accent fills your ears and you can literally feel the tension from the past month ease out of you. you lean further into charles as you sway a little to the beat. you were far too drunk to dance properly, the way you were when you first stepped foot onto the dance floor.

"mhm." you nod as your hands slide down to rest on his clasped ones, which were holding your stomach to keep you close, you hoped. charles moves his head to right behind your ear, just so you can hear him better. there was no way he didn't hear or even feel your breath hitch at the feeling of his breath on your ear. if you weren't this plastered then you would be so embarrassed at how easily you let charles do this again. you could even hear the rational part of your brain screaming at you, asking you what you were doing but you could barely even see at this point so of course you ignored it in favour of being the girl in his arms again.

"then why'd all your friends leave you, sweetheart?" charles asks, it feels teasing and maybe even a little mocking but there is no way you would be able to tell the difference in this state, so you just respond, dumbly. "they went to pee."

charles laughs in your ear and it sends goosebumps throughout your body and puts a sappy grin on your face. you hadn't heard his laugh in a while and it felt so good to hear it again. it felt like home to you and god had you been homesick.

you would've done anything the man asked you to when you were like this, well maybe sober too but when you were sober you would've definitely put up more of a fight about doing it. maybe charles was taking advantage of this as he practically moves you both to the next song that plays. it's a good job that jess and hailey come back when they do because you would've done anything for him. it felt like he actually wanted you again. you had missed him like this and here he was acting like he couldn't get enough of you. every part of you hoped to remember this in the morning as both girls pulled you away from his grasp (without any fight from charles, which told the girls everything they needed to know) and took you home, without as much as a goodbye to sophie. safe to say she was not going to be invited round again after tonight.

the next morning consisted of waking up at three pm with the sorest headache you think you've ever experienced and a blurry memory. turns out your hoping and praying last night had worked because the only thing you can remember is the way charles held you. the words he said weren't one hundred percent clear but god if this didn't set you back three weeks. jess was furious with sophie and hailey had literally cut her off in every single way possible. jess tells you over dinner that night that hailey had blocked sophie last night when you had gotten home and it did make you laugh but now you had to mourn the end of two relationships. you knew it was for the better but it still killed you, ripped you apart from the inside.

the thing that hurt you most was charles. you reflect on it in the shower after dinner. he knew how drunk you were and he still came over, clearly because he knew it was the only time you would let him back in without any fight. did that mean he missed you like you missed him? or was he just doing it because he could, showing you (a drunk you, mind you but still you nonetheless) that no matter what he still had his claws in you? your questions were answered as you scrolled through a gossip page and seen that charles left with another girl who looked nothing like you last night. you really had to stop looking through those pages, it did nothing but bring you down.

★・・・・・・★

nothing prepared you from the instagram dm from the quiet australian mclaren driver about another month after the club incident. he had never really spoken to oscar a lot before back when you were a regular in the paddock but it was still super nice to hear from him. it didn't mean you were prepared for him to ask you if you wanted paddock passes to be guests of mclaren at the next race. when you had asked what you had done exactly to deserve this gift, oscar had responded with 'i know your birthday is coming up and i also know how much you love f1'. you cried to jess before texting him back that you would take them. he was such a lovely boy.

you knew how bad ferrari were doing because you were an f1 fan way before you had even met charles so you of course kept up with the sport even after the breakup. even though it killed you to see his face on the screen. and you would never admit this to anyone, not even jess but seeing ferrari do so badly did make your heart ache for charles.

a few days before the race jess takes you shopping to find the outfit that makes charles beg for you back just so you can let him down harshly. her words of course, you would never even think that. as much as he's hurt you there wasn't a bone in your body that wanted to hurt him in return.

"i'm not drinking today, or tonight." you inform jess as you enter the paddock, the cameras immediately snapping in your face. you had not been in the eyes of the media for a good few months and now coming back to this made you feel dizzy but you powered through it because you had missed attending races so much. you found yourself beating up past you for not appreciating the privilege you had, getting to attend all those races.

"mhm, sure you aren't." jess doesn't even try and entertain you. you roll your eyes at her words.

"we both know what happened the last time alcohol and a certain ferrari driver mixed and i, for one, don't feel like going back down that road again." you try to make a joke out of it you're sure it would've worked if it was anyone but jess, she knows you far too well.

oscar greets you not long after and has the audacity to thank you for accepting his invite, he was literally the sweetest boy who's ever walked the earth and jess was sure to let him know of that fact. it left him with a big grin and rosy cheeks.

you and jess both cheer on the mclaren cars, which you have to admit, was one of the weirdest things about the full experience. you couldn't help but let your eyes wander to the red of the ferrari cars every now and then. you will your eyes to shift in the opposite direction every time. no way was anyone catching you lacking today, not on jess' watch that was for sure.

lando and oscar end up both on the podium so it was a great finish for the papaya team. oscar comes over with lando this time, after the podium and they both thank you and jess for coming again and this time you give them both swety, champagne covered hugs, unaware of the eyes peering into your soul.

said boy catches you on your way out, again when you're alone while jess makes a quick pitstop at the bathroom. you were hanging around across the hall, waiting for her to come out.

"hey, didn't know you still came to races." charles tries to make casual conversation with you. like the months you two were together didn't mean anything and like he hadn't just used you as a player in his game when you were hammered last month. this man has no dignity you swear. you had thought a few nights after the night out at the club that night.

"oscar asked me." you take a page out if jess' book and stick to the blunt responses. you knew you had moved on from the boy in front of you because as soon as he made his way over you weren't nervous or excited, you were annoyed. it made you feel happy and a little healed. charles seems surprised at your bluntness so he cuts to the chase.

"i miss you." he utters your name. "i miss you so much. i keep dreaming about us, and every morning, it feels like I've lost you all over again." you don't even look in his eyes to see if he's telling the truth. you used to be able to read him for filth, like he was your favourite book that you had read and re-read a million times, a book you had scribbled all your thoughts onto. now he just feels like a book you used to love when you were a child and as much as it helped shape you into the person you are now, you have new favourites now, that you read over and over and write inside, for someone else to read your thoughts and feelings.

you do though, see it hitting charles that you won't let him walk all over the top of you anymore. you see it register on his face and he makes a move to leave you be. maybe the you from a few weeks ago would've cried at the thought of this happening but whatever has happened to you in the past couple week has helped you grow mentally and helped you know your worth. charles walks away without so much as a goodbye, and you hope it kills him.

[ghost-with-a-teacup]

hello!! I loved what's in between so much and I need some more miguel o'hara fluff😭😭

if you're talking requests could you write one about how miguel and the reader have obvious feelings for each other but arent dating, Peter b trying to be the wingman and tagging mayday along while trying to set them up.

idk if this prompt has any scope, but I just liked the idea 😭😭

𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Reader

Summary: You have feelings for Miguel, so Jess and Peter decide to play cupid and help you out a bit :3

Warnings: None!! It's just pure fluff, silliness, paired with the classic best friends to lovers. Enjoy!!

You had a problem.

You had a very, very big problem.

Alright, so it wasn’t that big of a problem, but it lingered on your mind day and night. From the moment you woke up to the moment you went to bed it was on your mind.

What was it, you ask?

You might, just maybe, have feelings for your best friend. Now, you knew the tropes. Best friends to loves was arguably one of, if not the best trope to have. But those were stories, this was real life. It made it all the harder when your best friend was Miguel O’Hara, leader of the Spider Society.

Frankly, it was a miracle you even became friends with him in the first place. Somehow you had wormed your way into his heart and had the honour of being his closest friend. This however meant that it was highly unlikely for anything to progress further beyond the scope of platonic love.

This was a fact that you had grown to accept in the months of realizing your feelings. This didn’t mean you didn’t mope over it though.

~

“Ugh,” you groaned loudly, your forehead pressed into the cafeteria table as you lamented your feelings out into the world. A happy giggle interrupts your swirling mess of thoughts, however, and you turn your head and are met with the sight of Peter B. and Mayday by your side.

Lifting your head up, you open your arms and Mayday happily climbs into your lap, babbling softly. You feel your heart warm a little as she played with your fingers, her red hair a mess as she laughs happily.

“Can’t stay upset for long when this little one is around,” Peter says, smoothing out her hair that somehow only becomes more messy.

“This sucks, Peter,” you whine to the man, and he smiles sympathetically.

“We’ve all been there y’know,” and you only huff slightly. Peter was another one of your closest friends and the one you happened to rant to the most about your unspoken feelings.

“Would it hurt so much to just tell him?” he asks, and you whip your head over dramatically, a horrified expression on your face.

“I would quite literally rather take a dive straight down into Earth-67982 with all the gators than tell him,” you say, and Peter only snorts.

“C’mon, it’s not that bad! How do you expect to get anywhere if you never tell him how you actually feel about him,” he says, and while you knew he had a point you chose to disregard it.

“I’m perfectly happy where I am Peter. Single, and still with a best friend,” you say, but you sigh softly. “It’s not that easy anyway. There’s no way he likes me back, and it took him long enough to talk to me beyond anything superficial like the weather or the happenings of other universes. How am I supposed to confess to him,” you say, pinching Mayday’s cheek lightly. She scrunches her face up and you can’t help the giggle that escapes.

“Ah, relationship woes?” Jess jumps in, and you yelp in surprise while Mayday only laughs at your expense. You glare at her playfully and she imitates your expression in turn which makes everyone around the table laugh.

“We’re not in a relationship, so I don’t think it really counts as a ‘relationship woe’ Jess,” you say, turning to the woman as she settles in next to you for lunch.

“You could be in one if you mustered the guts to actually confess instead of pining for him like a lovesick teenager,” she says, and you shoot her a deadpanned look.

“There is no way in the 7 hells that I am ever going to confess to him, I mean, just look at him,” you say, nodding over to where he was picking up his own lunch from across the hall. “In the billions of possibilities that exist, there is not a single one where he likes me back.”

“Don’t see yourself short, you never know,” Peter says as he and Jess share a look, cogs turning as they scheme their own plots.

~

You were just walking about the HQ, stopping periodically to talk to the Spiders you knew. It was your day off, and your own universe decided to be boring today so you figured what better place to hang around than Earth-928?

Well, it was supposed to be your day off, until your name is called over the intercom alongside Miguel’s, telling you both to come to the monitoring room.

With a groan, you nod to the Spider you were talking to before walking over.

“Jess? Is something wrong?” you ask as you pop into the room, Miguel is already there and turns to nod to you in greeting which you return with a grin.

“There’s a mission I need the two of you to go on,” she says offhandedly, swiping through the screens as she studies the universe’s events.

“But Jess, it's my day off! There are literally hundreds of other spiders you could send on this mission,” you whine, the aches of the mission from yesterday still lingering on your body. Though almost imperceptibly she glances over at you, making it clear that there were hidden intentions behind this mission, and you press your lips together knowingly. You supposed she was in the mood to play Cupid.

“Why do you need us specifically?” Miguel asks, eyes narrowing suspiciously. It was his day off too, you were about to go see him as he worked on all his gizmos, he still wore his work outfit in place of his regular suit.

“This guy’s a bit of a tough one, so Lyla and I decided that we needed our best out in the field. Be ready to head out in 20, he’s already on the move,” she says, and you sigh lightly, unable to disobey orders.

Miguel only pats you on the shoulder.

“Bold of you to assume you think you can order around the Leader of this place,” he says jokingly.

“I can order around anyone I want when the Leader puts me in charge for the day,” Jess retorts as she puts her hands on her hips.

“Good point,” he relents.

“Uh-huh.”

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” you say to Miguel as you head out together.

~

“…wasn’t this guy supposed to be a ‘tough one’” you say, quoting the air as you stare down at the anomaly you were supposed to take down. Miguel only snorts in response before shrugging. There, in your line of sight was the anomaly; a snail that moved at a top speed of maybe 2 kilometres per hour that a single well-placed trap could take down in seconds.

“Easier for us,” Miguel says simply before swinging down and doing just that. Immediately the force field wraps the villain up like a present, and his mask disappears from his face as he looks over at you.

At that moment felt your heart skip a beat as he grins up at you playfully.

“Are you going to hang up there all day or are you gonna head back with me?” he calls out as a portal opens up, snapping you out of your stupor.

“C-coming!”

~

“Peter, why don’t you get one of the younger spiders to babysit? Don’t get me wrong, I love Mayday just as much as the next person but I’m not that great with kids,” you say with a worried smile.

“That’s why you’ll have Miguel to help! I think you two will make a great team,” Peter says, handing Mayday over. You eye him suspiciously when the realization strikes.

“This is all a ploy to get me and him together, isn’t it?” you ask, and Peter puts on an oblivious face.

“What? No! No way, this is just a friend asking for a favour,” he replies.

“Don’t lie! You and Jess have been up to something for the past week, that mission, the closet, and now this,” you huff.

“Alright, fine. Maybe we did plan this out, but maybe the two of you just need the push,” he says, a hand on the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Peter, he doesn’t like me back. I know that already,” you say frustratedly, but sigh softly. “I’ll help you out, but no more games alright?”

“Alright,” he relents. “Thanks for this though. MJ and I haven’t had time to ourselves in a while,” he says, and you give him an understanding look.

“What are friends for?” you smile.

~

“Mayday! Get down from the ceiling, please?” you plead, watching as she babbles happily while crawling across the ceiling. You were right up there with her as Miguel stood on the floor with his hands on his hips, watching with blatant amusement.

“Miguel, a little help here please?” you ask him, and he only snorts.

“You seem to be doing just fine,” he says, and you let out a groan. Finally he gives in to your pleading.

“Solecito, you wanna come down now? I think you’re going to give your babysitter a heart attack,” he says and immediately she drops down from the ceiling into his waiting arms. You let out a sigh of relief as you follow suit.

“She only listens to you, I swear,” you say as you look at her, huffing softly.

“She likes playing around, and you have the most reactions so you’re her main target,” he replies, and you boop her nose playfully.

“You’re a little menace, aren’t you.” She only babbles happily at that.

“I’m going to grab her lunch, will you be okay by yourself?” you ask Miguel, and he bounces her up and down as she giggles loudly.

“We’ll be just fine, won’t we chiquitita,” he says with a small smile. It makes your heart warm as you watch them play together. You knew how hard it was for Miguel to be around Mayday after losing his own daughter, but he seemed to truly adore the little girl. It was precious to watch.

“Alright, I’ll be right back.”

~

After searching aimlessly for a few minutes, and a couple of mishaps you finally have a small bowl of food to feed Mayday. When you come back into the living room, you find Miguel sitting on the floor with Mayday in his lap, a toy grasped in her hand.

“I think you’d make a really good parent if you ever want to have kids one day,” Miguel says offhandedly as he continues to watch over the little girl. You feel your cheeks warm in embarrassment at the compliment.

“Seems like the same would go for you, Miguel,” you say as you watch the two of them fondly. You can’t help the thoughts that flash through your mind. The two of you, together, sitting in a nursery just like this one with a child of your own. It was far-fetched and would probably never happen, but it doesn’t hurt to imagine all the ‘what-ifs’.

“Though that’s ironic of you to say considering I was just hanging on the ceiling trying to get her down not even 15 minutes ago,” you say, and he chuckles lightly.

“Parenting isn’t always smooth sailing, but you have a softness that makes the little ones feel safe. I see it when you’re with Mayday, even with the kids at HQ. Don’t sell yourself short,” he says, glancing over at you before holding out his hand to take the food. Somehow you feel your face heat up even more as you sit down by his side.

“Thanks, Miguel,” you say softly, and he only hums in response.

~

After all the events of the last week, you find yourself lost in all your swirling feelings. All those possibilities, all those moments you spend with Miguel wishing that they were more, it quickly became overwhelming. It’s why you find yourself trekking up to the observatory of HQ.

This was your favourite spot to come to when you were stuck in your head. Very few of the Spiders knew about it, which made it the perfect hiding spot when you wanted to be alone with your thoughts.

The ceiling panned up into a dome of intricate glass, allowing the light of the stars to shine through. Though realistically it was more the light of the futuristic Nueva York, the city that never sleeps. It didn’t make it any less beautiful though.

“So this is where you’ve been,” a voice cuts through the silence, and you jump slightly as you turn around to face Miguel who only chuckles at your expense.

“You found me,” you say softly, smiling at him though it doesn’t quite meet your eyes. A look of concern washes over his face, and you wince.

He could always read you too well.

For a moment you just sit there in the silence, the only thing breaking the quiet being his soft footsteps as he approached you. Every step he took had your heart racing faster and faster until finally, he was by your side. Glancing at him, you see that he’s already looking at you, and there was something on his mind.

“Do you like me?” he asks softly, and you turn away from him, instead choosing to look out through the windows. Slowly, you sigh, still unwilling to make eye contact.

“Do you want me to be honest?” you say just as softly.

“I do.”

A lump forms in your throat as you fidget with your hands a bit, wondering if you should just lie. If that would make this any easier.

It was hard for you to be vulnerable with people, from a young age you were conditioned to hide how you felt because it made you seem weak. And even worse, you were told it made you a burden on other people.

You never wanted to be a burden.

It was hard for you to be honest with your feelings…especially if they were about how you felt about someone you loved. You think this is the first time you’ve ever loved someone like this, and you swallow harshly at the thought.

“I do…like you,” you whisper finally so that only his ears could hear. “I know it's cliche, but it's nothing but the truth when I say that I’ve never felt, felt feelings with anyone else the way I do with you,” you ramble, realizing that once you started you weren’t able to stop yourself.

“It makes me scared, Miguel. Feeling this way? I don’t know how to do this,” you gesture between the two of you, but still hesitating to look into those beautiful crimson eyes you adored so much.

“You’re my favourite person. Throughout every universe, every infinite possibility it’s still true. And I’m scared because it seems like throughout my life every single time I have something good it slips out from beneath me, and I can’t afford to lose you. I, I can’t,” you say, a single tear trickling down your cheek.

For a moment he doesn’t speak, and the car falls silent until he inhales lightly.

“That…is a possibility, it’s true. Maybe what we have, what we could have won’t work out. But maybe we’re that one possibility where us together is possible,” he says as he takes your hand into his own. It was warm.

So warm.

Finally, you dare to look into his eyes, and inside them, you find a swirling storm of emotions that you get lost in.

“Can we do this? Do you think we can?” you ask hesitantly.

“As long as you’re willing to try, mi vida,” he says, squeezing your hand lightly.

“I think…I want to try,” you say softly, and his eyes immediately brighten up like the sun rising over the horizon, lighting up everything in its path. He smiles at you, and you can’t help but smile back.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and all you can do is nod as you feel your heart jump to your throat in anticipation. You’ve never wanted to do anything more.

Gently his hand rises up, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before settling on your cheek as he leans in. You close your eyes as his lips touch yours, and a small happy sound escapes your throat.

It didn’t feel like how the love stories described how your first kiss would be, with explosions and fireworks.

No. It felt like the first breath of fresh air on a warm sunny day. Like the heat of a fire after a long day in the cold.

Kissing your best friend was like coming home, a comfort in every sense and oh so right.

After a few seconds that felt like an eternity condensed into a single moment, Miguel pulls away. You look up at him with teary eyes, not tears of sadness but instead pure and utter joy as you smile brightly.

“I think this might be the start of something wonderful,” you say to him.

“I think so too, mi vida.”

A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading because that entire confession was what I imagined I would say to my crush ghfkjghdfkjghfdk (I was in my feelings, as a result this fic was born)

Taglist: @beiroviski, @scaraza, @blueoorchid, @remuslupinwifee, @local-mr-frog, @johfaam0, @rawegggohan, @honeycriess, @alexenoirex, @chimpkinnuggies, @rqdior, @banana—belle, @notasadgirlipromise, @6billionyearsold, @gods-perfectidiot, @ieatmunson, @honeii-puff, @wh0re4zaynmalik, @toplinehyunjin, @ohworm-writes, @ishii03, @snowywhiterose, @leftcupcakedefendor

[xmads-omensx]

Part 6

Word count: 1,955

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Reader

Content Warnings: fake dating, swearing, mentions of harrassment

Tags: @shayeanna-ashlie @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @supersquirrel1996 @dontwantthemoney @tosoundlessdarkistare @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @klutzy-kay24 @heyyoplayer @lacy1986 @collidewiththesav @kenjipepsi1 @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @chey-h @amelia-acero @thisbicc @dominuslunae @enemiestolovershoe @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @thisbicc @fadingangelwisp @cheyyyyr @littlebear423 @dsireland86 @missduffsblog @overmydeadbodysblog @dominuslunae @blade-dressed-in-red @rumoured-whispers @kait16xo @eclipseeetop @xxkittenkissesxx @theanarchymuse95 @blackveilomens @lilgarbitch @lil-garbitch

Closing my front door behind me, I pressed my back up against it before releasing a long, harsh breath that I hadn’t realised I was holding.

I sank down so that I was sitting on the floor and lay my forehead on my knees, groaning at my own idiocy.

I should never have told Jesse and Jolly that. Noah must’ve heard, or if he hadn’t, his two roommates would most certainly tell him.

Fuck.

The realisation of my secret being revealed hit me slowly. I just hadn’t accepted the fact that I was in love with Noah, until the words were flying out of my mouth.

As soon as I said it, I turned and ran out of their front door and straight to my car.

Part of me was insanely embarrassed about my confession, but I also felt insanely relieved at the weight being lifted off of my shoulders.

It felt… freeing.

Granted, Noah didn’t know and I intended on keeping it that way, but it still felt good to tell somebody.

If I was being completely honest with myself, I think I have loved Noah for a while now.

It only clicked into place in my mind when I kissed him in the car park. My heart had erupted with butterflies as my brain turned to complete mush.

And he kissed be back.

Now, sat on the floor of the entryway into my house, I felt like an idiot. Who was I kidding? Noah would never love me back. I was his best friend, and you just didn’t go there with best friends. It would never end well at all.

My mind flitted back to my favourite moments between the two of us. Late night drives with no destination in mind, singing along to our joint playlist. Noah was obviously the better singer, so he wasn’t allowed to sing properly. He would laugh at my failed attempts at reaching the high notes, which would make me laugh in turn.

Our movie nights where we would always end up forgetting about the movie and talking instead. Always waking up the next day tangled up in each other’s limbs, so impossibly close that it took forever to disentangle ourselves.

Ranting about our worst date experiences, dissecting gossip and drama from my workplace, making him laugh with my stupid jokes and dump remarks.

It all came back to me.

My love for Noah had been there for the entire time I had known him, just in the background, powering my heart and my mind as I went through life.

It felt like when you leave a TV show on while you get on with chores. It was always there providing comfort, even when you weren’t paying attention to it.

Noah was like that for me.

I had been sat on the floor for about ten minutes when my phone rang. It was Jesse.

“Hey, Noah’s worried about you.” He said as soon as I accepted the call.

“Why?” I asked with a sigh, running my hand down my face.

“Why do you think? You were supposed to stay the night, and you practically ran home.” He exclaimed.

“I need space, Jesse.” I replied quietly.

“No you don’t. You need Noah. He needs you.” Jesse went on, sounding frustrated. “When will you both just accept that you love eachother?”

“He doesn’t feel the same, Jesse.” I said.

“Don’t give me that stupid bullshit, Y/N, that man is so hopelessly whipped for you it’s embarrassing.” Jesse laughed.

I was silent for a moment.

There was no way that was true.

Sure, Noah was always close, but I never considered that he might feel the same, simply because it seemed so outlandish to me.

He was Noah, and I was… me.

He was this insanely talented musician who toured the world with his super successful band, whilst I worked a 9-5 desk job.

It was laughable, the thought that he might go on tour and miss me. Like he would want me there.

“Y/N, please, just come over and talk to him.” Jesse went on in a gentler tone.

“I’ll come over tomorrow. I need to think.” I replied, making Jesse sigh.

“Okay, but you better show up.” He said.

“Yes. I promise I will.” I responded.

“Okay, goodbye Y/N.” Jesse finished.

“Bye.” I hung up the phone, returning me to that looming silence that had previously encased me.

There was no way in hell that I would tell Noah how I felt.

That night, I struggled to get to sleep, especially with the terrifying thoughts of Noah having potentially hearing my confession and realising that he didn’t want to be within ten feet of me. If he knew, it would change everything.

I arrived at work the next day with heavy eyelids and a red bull in my hand, another in my back just in case I needed it.

Gabi and Ashley were already sat at their desks, and both waved at me with wide smiles on their faces. Smiles that rapidly vanished when the elevator doors behind me opened to reveal Stephen.

My body shuddered at the sound of his awful voice greeting everybody in the office with a booming, “Good morning.”

I felt his hand on my hip as he passed me, making my skin crawl as Gabi and Ashley visibly cringed at his action.

My hand moved on autopilot to my back pocket to reach for my phone to text Noah what happened, but I stopped myself.

I wasn’t ready to talk to him just yet, still terrified that he knew my secret.

So instead I sat down at my desk with a heavy sigh.

“God damn, Noah’s ex must’ve been unbearable if you come into work like that.” Gabi laughed, making Ashley turn around in her chair, desperate for me to fill them in on what happened.

“It was weird. She was completely fine all night right up until we called her an Uber to take her home.” I began. “She kept to herself the whole time, only staring at me, but then called me a slut when she was leaving. I mean, she came up to Noah’s room before the party really even started and tried to start an argument, but Matt, Noah’s tour manager, shut it down as soon as she started.”

I shrugged before finishing telling them all of the details of what Grace had said.

They were completely shocked.

The two of them caught me up on their evenings which were luckily less eventful than mine, before we got back to work.

“Are you going to the dinner tonight?” Gabi asked me on our lunch break.

“Oh my god, yes please come, Y/N.” Ashley replied rapidly.

“I don’t know. Are you both going?” I asked, still unsure if I wanted to spend the evening out at a restaurant with all of my coworkers, and Stephen.

“Yep! So are Zacky and Emma, so you should bring Noah along as well.” Gabi gushed, smiling widely at the prospect of meeting my boyfriend.

I, on the other hand, found this concept terrifying. Not just because I was actively avoiding Noah, but because I would have to lie to my friends even more than I already had. This dinner would be intimate, and my colleagues would most definitely want to talk to Noah about our relationship.

“I’ll think about it.” I replied with a forced smile.

“Oh, come on, Y/N! It’ll be fun!” Ashley begged, grasping my shoulders and pulling me closer to her, making both Gabi and I laugh.

“Fine. But I can’t promise that Noah will come with me.” I sighed, defeated by my friends excitement.

“Yay.” Gabi giggled, clapping her hands with excitement.

I laughed at their joy and turned back around in my seat to face my monitor, before flipping my phone over so that I could text Noah about the dinner.

For some reason, my thumbs wouldn’t move to send the text. It was like they had a mind of their own and were defying me.

By some form of luck, those grey text bubbles appeared at the bottom of my screen. He was typing.

Why?

Why was he typing?

He knew.

Oh no he knew.

My brain went into complete panic mode as I sat there, just staring at my screen.

Are you free later?

Fuck. Shit.

I was just going to ask you the same thing lol

Fancy coming to my work dinner tonight? 

Gabi and Ashley want to meet you

The anticipation of waiting for his message was killing me.

Yeah, sure. What’s the deal?

For some reason, his availability did nothing to ease my anxiety that I was feeling in that moment.

It’s at Vincent’s. That new Italian restaurant downtown. 6pm start

Okay. He was invited. There. I did it.

Sounds good. I’ll pick you up from work and we can go to your place, get freshened up then head out to the dinner?

Oh shit he accepted it.

For some reason, this didn’t make me feel any better.

Yeah sounds good

I was probably reading into things too much, right?

Definitely.

It wasn’t like I yelled “I love him”, I more so loudly spoke it.

Hopefully.

Part of me was excited by the prospect of seeing Noah again, however, even though I did only just see him last night.

“He’s coming.” I said to Gabi and Ashley once I had processed his response.

“Yay!” Ashley squealed.

“Finally! I know he was at the work party last time, but I never got to speak to him.” Gabi said with a soft smile. “And I’m sure he would get along great with Zacky.”

“You didn’t get to speak to who?” That annoying voice interrupted our perfectly pleasant conversation.

Ashley rolled her eyes and turned back around to face her desk.

“Noah.” I curtly replied with a sigh, also turning back towards my desk.

But something stopped me. Stephen had placed his hands on the back of my office chair and spun me round to face him again. He kept his hands on the back of my chair so each of his arms were beside my head as he began to speak.

“What about Nathan?” Stephen asked, his garlicky breath and the stench of his rotting teeth fanned my face.

“Noah.” I corrected, trying to pull away from him. “He’s coming to the dinner this evening.”

“Oh really?” He went on. “Well, you tell Nicholas that I cant wait to meet him.”

“Noah.” I corrected once again through gritted teeth, “and you have already met him, Mr. Williams, at the last work party.”

Stephen’s eyes widened slightly and his expression turned angrier as if he was remembering something that he very much had negative emotions towards.

“Oh yes, I think I remember Nolan.” He lifted his hands up. “Well, in that case, I can’t wait to see him again. Hopefully you look even better than you did at the party.”

After that, Stephen stormed back to his office, not saying a word to any of his other employees.

“Hopefully you look even better.” Ashley mocked, making Gabi and I laugh, covering our mouths with our hands as we tried not to be noticed.

“Oooo Y/N, you look ravishing today.” Gabi added, replicating Ashley’s impression perfectly.

“Guys, oh my god.” I laughed.

“I cannot wait to see Noah meet Stephen officially.” Ashley added.

“Same here, that will be an entertaining conversation.” Gabi added.

“Oh god, it will definitely be something.” I mumbled.

Dread began to seep into my mind as I realised that we would all have to sit in a restaurant with the two of them for a very long time.

This was going to be interesting.

[bethebesttoyou]

Times are Hard for Dreamers - Choi Beomgyu

synopsis: Friends Beomgyu and Y/N try to have a good day at the fair.

pairing: College student! Beomgyu x College student! reader

song: Times are Hard for Dreamers - Amelie

warning/tags: cursing, fluff!!, me trying to be funny and failing, friends to lovers, I wanted to make it jess and nick coded but Beomgyu is just too sweet... reader is an overly optimistic person!!!!

Wc: 3.6k (I swear im not doing this on purpose D:)

A/N: Beomgyu fic... we win. I actually really wanted to write a Beomgyu fic for awhile but I didn't really have an idea, UNTIL NOW!!! I have like half of vampire in the corner worked on, but I started school, so idk IDK I'll have to see where I can go with that story. I also get so many ideas for longer fics, but I can't lock in :( In the meantime, I want to continue writing one shots!! :3

Beomgyu leans his head against the headrest, stretching out his arms and grunting before checking his watch again. He closes his eyes in frustration before looking back at your front door, his sunglasses dimming his overall view. When you told him 12 pm, he should've known better, should’ve read in between the lines, the way you excitedly ranted about the day you had in store for the both of you. He should've known when he surprisingly got you tickets to the very popular fall fair, that you would overwhelm yourself with planning. Now, 30 minutes later, he watches your front door intently, praying it opens. And it works, out you come prettily dressed in a tan long sleeve and plaid long skirt, both accentuated the curvature of your body so nicely, he wishes you could go back in so he can compose himself. But as you smiled widely at his presence, sending him a wave before adjusting your bag over your shoulder, he settled for a nervous cough and looked away, only looking back at you when you were finally sitting in the passenger seat. He scowls at you playfully. 

“Oh. Beomgyu we have to leave by 12 or we're gonna miss the opening…Oh Beom, please sleep early and get here on time, Oh Beom-” He mocked, only letting out a laugh when you punch his shoulder. 

“It's still 12…we’ll make it if you just drive, like now!” You roll your eyes playfully and start messing with his radio and he just scoffs, putting the car on drive. 

Beomgyu honestly couldn't care less about this fall fair, if it were up to him, he would've been home, relaxing after the terror from being buried in papers and exams and research during midterms, but he didnt think twice of buying them. When he saw the posters all over campus he knew you would want to go, he already pictured the way your eyes would brighten from the mere mention of the mazes, the games, the snacks, he knew you would just obsess over the last activity of the day, fireworks. And when he mentioned it to you, he was right. 

“I-I would love to!” You exclaim turning to your friends behind you, some of them snickering knowingly. 

“Hey gyu, where are our tickets?” Yeonjun bumps Kai’s shoulder before feigning ignorance. 

“Shut up.”

So maybe his crush on you wasn’t exactly hidden, he was a man after all, and it was only natural that someone as optimistic and bright as you would catch the attention of a pessimist that lacks that brightness in his life. He loved to act like he didn't care much about anything, but he cared a lot about you. He couldn't fight the urge of showing it, catering to your likings with fake annoyance, but in reality he lived for your excitement, it only fueling him to continue, he was surprised you've been the only one to not catch on, or maybe internally grateful you hadn't, he didn't think he was ready for that yet. 

But he thought of it, especially now as he heard your raving about the itinerary for the day, having done your research on the different activities and food stands being offered at the event, and he was glad to be the first one to ask you, he couldn't imagine you doing this with anyone else, he would rather die. 

“Jesus, does it tell you how I'm gonna die on that paper?” He teases anyways, and you grunt. 

“I want to take full advantage of today, we deserve a day of stress free fun!” 

“I guess I can agree.” 

“Trust me Gyu, we're gonna have so much fun, you're gonna want to come back.” You promised. “This paper is gonna be our lifeline today, just as long as we stick to it, we should be able to do everything! Here’s your copy.” 

He laughs at your ridiculous planning but believes in you anyways. He just wanted to spend time with you, grateful to have you all to himself, so he was more than willing to follow a piece of paper if it meant it was guaranteed. 

The car ride was meant to be a long one, the directions sending you out of the city you both occupied, to the closest open field your campus can find to set up. Yet, the drive didn't feel as long as Beomgyu expected, your voice causing him to lose track of time, paying attention to your silly stories and gossip he hated to admit was pretty interesting. 

“So, they were not dating? Just fucking?” 

“Ningning said that she said they weren't…and now they're just not talking anymore…” 

“That's annoying…” 

“That's what I'm saying!They definitely like each other, they’re just dumb.He’s gotta step up.” You roll your eyes and he can't help but feel the pink heat rise to his face. 

He finally parks, turning off the ignition and turns to you, once again taking in the sight. You were everything, he thought, there's not a single sweet word that doesn't describe you. Watching you as you straighten the paper, he watches your delicate fingers scan the page, before speaking. 

“Okay! Well, we missed the opening ceremony but it's fine, I didn't care much for it anyways…First on the list is for you. Let’s start with…coffee! yay!” You say hoping out of the car, him laughing at your excitement. Giving the worker the tickets, you immediately head towards the coffee stand to the right, ignoring that Beomgyu was in awe of the set up. It was the middle of the day, but the entire fair was lit up like those old carnivals you would see in the movies. Laughter and screams could be heard from every corner, the smell of popcorn and sweets mixing together and clogging his nostrils, he could see why you were excited, this place was like a manifestation of your personality: fun, nostalgic and comforting. 

“Beomgyu! I got your drink!” you yell from afar, and he turns around, walking, stepping towards you before, watching in horror as someone cuts him off, bumping into you and spilling both coffees on your chest. 

“Dude, what the fuck?” Beomgyu says turning to the offender, as they apologize profusely. 

“Are you okay?” 

“-you okay?” they both asked frantically, Beomgyu already taking your hand, starting to lead you to the closest stand with napkins. He completely misses the way your face turns pink, before you laugh awkwardly, distracted from his own flustered feeling, he feels like a Victorian man by just the touch of your soft hand, the hotness spreading from your connected hands to all over his body.

“Good thing, it wasn't hot coffee right?” You squeeze his hand before taking a napkin. 

You turn to the apologizing stranger, “it's fine! You're fine! It was an accident!” you say, before turning back again and smiling at Beomgyu, “it was an accident.” Now softer, trying to ease the scowl on his face. 

After politely rejecting the strangers' pleas to help, he finally leads you to another nearby stand, hoping to find a shirt to replace the sticky top you were now stuck with. After looking at the selections, the only one in your size was a muddy green shirt that had a random koala bear with sunglasses on with the words, “Koalified to party” Beomgyu looks at you with sorry eyes, as you gulp at the shirt. 

“So much for cute pictures today…” You say from behind the fitting room curtain.”But it's okay! This is gonna be a fun story to tell the group!,” You laugh lightly, walking out of the makeshift fitting room only to Beomgyu trying to stifle a laugh. You flick his forehead before continuing, 

“No! It looks good! You look good!” He laughs. 

“Well, forget coffee! Back to the paper! Next stop…um…the swings!” 

The high swings were towards the back, and Beomgyu noticed every time you looked down at your watch, you’d start walking faster, the furrow of your eyebrows becoming more evident as the walk continued. Once you got to the front, your smile came back and shined brightly towards the worker before dropping completely when he pointed out the line that stood behind you. 

“A-and um… how long is the wait?” 

“All ride lines right now are going to be about two hours or so.” the worker says, apologetically looking at you both. 

Beomgyu is starting to realize what type of day this was going to be, and he wanted to suggest going home, or finding something else to do, trying to avoid even more disappointment. If he had known it was going to be this packed or this difficult to enjoy the day, he wouldn't have suggested it at all and you would have had to plan an entire day just for it to completely fall apart in front of you. But when you turn to him with determination in your eyes, he remembers you are never one to back down.  

“Okay, new plan! We no longer wait for the rides, let's just play some games! Maybe head to the maze after! That should still give us time to make it back for the fireworks!” you say, your smile was not as big as it was 3 hours ago, but it was still there. Beomgyu wanted to check on you just in case. 

“You okay? We can always just-” 

“No time for that! We have the paper!” You say already walking away. 

—

It had been two hours into playing games, and after you exclaimed how obsessed you were with the giant  light brown teddy bear that hung from the corner of the stand, the bow that laid just below its ear making you squeal, you both took turns playing trying to knock down the obvious glued golden cups. You and Beomgyu both lost about 100 dollars combined. The carny had been a bored looking teenager, would laugh every time he saw you guys walk back to the end of the line, but you both were too frustrated to even care. Beomgyu honestly didnt want the stupid fucking bear, it wasnt worth it, but in his mind, you needed this win (and he wanted this win for you, so bad)and so each time it was his turn, he would throw the ball more aggressively, trying to fight the look of disappointment on your face when the cup would resist the blow. He didn't want to feel bad, but he did, immensely, as he watched you throw the ball and grunt loudly. You start rubbing your temple out of sheer frustration before sighing. 

“One more go…Just one more go, okay?” You say to him, and he watches you line up one last time, the look of determination etched on your face. Only for the small child in front of you to knock the golden cup, the ringing congratulatory bell going off as you watch with a straight face. The cheers were so loud and in Beomgyu’s opinion, obnoxious, that he wanted nothing more than to just comfort you, take you away from the scene and offer you some solace, but the fear of rejection kept him from doing so. 

“Well, it's maze time.” You say as you watch the child and their parents walk off with the giant bear, your eyes reflecting shame, embarrassment and sadness. Beomgyu decided that his heart could bear the negative emotion in your eyes, it wasn't you,he thought.

“Hey what if we just get out of here? Get something to eat, yeah?” 

“N-no we cant! The paper! The maze! fireworks! We can't miss the fireworks! You bought me these tickets, we can let them go to waste!” you panic, but your eyes look defeated. Beomgyu doesn't want to burst your bubble, he really wishes things could have been different, but he can't stand the thought of watching you get disappointed again. With the way things are going, he knew the fireworks were gonna follow the same fate. He knew you to be optimistic, never letting things get you down, but he wasn't so sure as to why you were so determined for this day to go perfectly. You had never been so obsessed with the details before.  

“y/n… it's okay, really! … l-lets just go…” your eyebrows, that were slightly slanted and eyes that were soft, immediately switched to anger, with now furrowed eyebrows and flames in your eyes. 

“Y-you can go then. But I'm going to the maze. Don't follow me. ” You say stomping away, leaving Beomgyu shocked and guilty. He wasn't sure what was going on, what had made you so determined to finish the day, even if it meant you were no longer standing by the end of it. 

He felt horrible. All he wanted was to see your smile again, to see you enjoying the fair like he had hoped you would, yet this mysterious pressure was nearly forcing you into a breakdown. He wanted to fix this, needed to. He was determined now, no longer caring if he looked too doting, even if it made his feelings visible to you, he was going to make it up to you. Starting with that fucking bear. 

He stalks up to the stand, where the same bored looking teenager now stood with an amused look on his face, watching Beomgyu stand mere feet away from him. 

“How much for the bear.” They had replaced it with a new one already. 

“Not for sale, man, you gotta win.” 

Beomgyu stares at him, hoping to read him well. 

“Ill give you 50 bucks for it.” 

“Ha! Make it a hundred and you got a deal.” 

“60.” 

“120, and I'll throw in a ferris wheel ride with my buddy over there.” Beomgyu blushed at the thought. That sparked an idea. 

“During the fireworks?” the boy thought about it for a second. 

“I guess I can make that happen…might cost a bit extra though…” 

“Fuck, whatever. Deal.” 

–

Beomgyu thought about waiting for you outside of the maze entrance, but it had been 30 minutes and you were still not out. He had seen those that enter after you already come out and he began to feel nervous. Worried thoughts of missing the fireworks became worried thoughts of something happening to you in the maze. His worries got worse when your phone was sending him to voicemail. 

So with tired arms and heavy grunts, he walks into the maze, keeping track of his turns, which he learned he didn't have to, you weren't that far from the opening, yet, you were scrunched down, head buried in your hands, crying. 

“Y/N?” He says muffled the giant bear barely fitting through the small isles of corn. 

“Oh thank god!- Wait what the hell?” You said, tear stained cheeks, and now wide confused eyes staring at the bear that covered most of his body.

‘Why are you crying?” He asks, and it almost looks like the bear is talking. 

“I got lost…” You were lost in the presence of the bear, “D-Did you win this?” 

“Um…”

He had questions too, but as he looked up and realized that it was finally dark, he pulled your hand and began to run out of the maze, 

“Questions later! We're gonna be late!” 

“For?” 

“You’ll see!” 

—-

Once you got to the ferris wheel, you watched as Beomgyu walked past the long line into the stand. Beomgyu notices you are about to interrupt, glossy eyes and all, but turns when he hears his name. 

“You Beomgyu?” 

“Yes.” 

“Is the bear your date? If not, it's gonna have to stay down here, it's not gonna fit.” the carny chuckles, Beomgyu glares back. 

“Whatever gets me up there man.” 

“Hey… A-Are we getting on?” 

Beomgyu notices your face that was just laced with pure confusion. He smiles softly before leaving the bear behind, leading you to your cart, sitting next to you and securing your seatbelt. It's only then does he understand the gravity of the situation and he's thinking he might have flown a little too close to the sun. This was, very clearly, a romantic gesture, and Beomgyu had no plan, whatsoever. This was it, he planned getting you up here, watching the fireworks, but then what? What can you do on a ferris wheel in a platonic way? Talking! You could talk! Talk while you wait for the fireworks! 

He tries to think of things to say, but how can he?  when you are so close and he can smell your fruity perfume, mixed with a hint of coffee. Your lips ,that had always attracted his eyes to stare at them while you spoke, now don't have to say anything for him to notice them there, parted and soft before stretching into a shy smile. 

“...How did you do all this?” he shakes his head.

“That doesn't matter, I'm sorry the day has been such a mess and I haven't been much help either…” You scoff. 

“That's definitely not your fault, I'm sorry…the one that wanted to make this all perfect.” 

“Yeah, why is that?” Beomgyu feels self conscious as you stare at him for a minute, before laughing awkwardly. 

“Can I give you something? You promise not to laugh?” He feels the pressure from your words, fear of what may come next. Oh god, he thought, someone told you about his feelings… He nods anyway, accepting fate. You were now at the highest point on the ferris wheel, and Beomgyu begged for the show to start, scared of hearing what you were going to say. 

You reach into your bag, before pulling a thinly worn folded notebook paper before handing it to him. Written on top was his name and a small heart next to it. He shivered at the sight. 

“I-its a note… I wrote it the day of graduation” You laugh, “it's silly and it was never going to see the light of day, but I don't know…I felt ready. Well sorta…” You are looking away now, trying hard not to make it more awkward than you are starting to feel. The fireworks start, popping and lighting up the sky, but Beomgyu can't focus as he's now shakingly opening the note. 

A confession note. 

Beomgyu gasps, reading the contents, before looking at you. You’re looking up in admiration of the colors before you, the shapes that manifest in the night sky, a nervous smile sets on your lips, fingers nervously holding on to the rail of your cart. He knows you feel his gaze on you but refuses to turn to him. 

“Y/N…” 

��It's okay, Beomgyu! Really! I just…I needed to do something about this letter… I was holding on to it for way too long.” You're not really talking about the letter, Beomgyu believes. When he can't find the words yet, you continue. 

“I just.. I hope this doesn't change us, I hope we can still be friends… Please…” Pleading eyes are what finally meet Beomgyu’s shocked ones and he finds you so beautiful in this moment, he can’t bring himself to say everything that he's ever wanted to. That he has waited for some kind of sign for two years, that you had occupied a space in his heart since the first day he's met you, that he did all this just for you, and would never ask for anything in return, that your smile and presence was more than enough. But instead, hoping to convey the mutual feeling or perhaps stronger ones,  Beomgyu grabs your face by each side and brings you closer, and you let out a squeal, the fireworks only getting more aggressive and intense. And it matches the way Beomgyu’s heart is feeling, accelerated, like it's about to explode as he lays his lips on yours, feeling the petal likeness of your lips.

And the butterflies swarm all over his body when you finally kiss back, fluttering your eyes closed, and pressing further in, shivering from your own nerves slowly dissipating. He hopes you can feel everything he’s thinking, everything he wants you to know, but in case you didn't, he pulls back and looks at you, now possessed with the same determination you had all day: 

“I dont want to stay friends. I want to be with you. I want this, all the time. I like you, Y/N. Please, tell me this letter still means something."He pulls a stray hair behind your ear, watching the pinkness in your cheeks get darker. 

“O-Of course it does. It always will.” You whisper with shining eyes. Your hands that had been glued on the railing, now moving to his waist and wrapping them around and hugging him tight. He sighs and smiles widely, hands now holding you close, it was only then had he noticed that the cart was making its way back down. At the entrance, was the giant bear, sitting patiently as you both got off the wheel, trying to pretend neither of your hearts were still pounding from excitement and giddyness. The carny holds a fist bump with a smirk that beomgyu shyly returns before grabbing the bear. 

“W-we missed most of the show, sorry…” He says after a moment of walking in silence. Remembering the taste of you, already growing addicted.  

“No! Don't be… it was perfect, actually the whole day was.” You say, your eyes still beaming with what he can only hope for satisfaction and fondness.

He laughs at that. Before putting an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer. Walking towards the car, you rambled about the maze, how the kid had to have had some steroid in him, he realized just how much the atmosphere has changed. The presence of something filled the air: the makings of new love. 

"You gotta let me borrow that shirt..."

"Shut. Up."

A/N: YAY!! you made it!!! thanks you for reading!! Like always, let me know what you think! :3