#the beard and jane relationship was always weird to me because it feels like joke after joke of.. abuse?

[fightingdragonswithwho]

hate to be a hater on the main … but this season of ted lasso excels (once again) at team dynamic and the found family elements and i think the finale absolutely nailed that, i cried, i laughed, it was perfect on that. now as for the individual stories and relationships… yeah, let’s leave it at that

[sombruhmoment]

the correct ‘hottest character’ tier list

not actually please dont yell at me

E: Unavailable for ranking

Hammond + Winston; Animals

Bastion + Orisa + Echo; Naive, ‘childlike’ robots that just are not attractive.

D: Hot only to very specific people

Widow; My issue with Widow is she’s basic. I’ve seen this dozens of times. Her hotness is artificial - everything about her to shove in your face her hotness, and unless you’re a very meek lesbian or a weird creepy dude, she just isn’t that hot. She’s a gimmick. If she was more professional and less for show, she’d be higher.

Tracer; Yorkshire terrier. She’d be a great s/o and friend, but she’s not exactly hot. She’s plain jane. Only especially hot to very Jane Austen lesbians and again, weird creepy dudes. 

Mercy; Boring. She doesn’t really have much personality in the media she shows up in beyond ‘angel’ and ‘tired’. The latter is the smallest portion of her character, but the most embraced. This is why she’s only hot in the fan portrayals of her in fic or art. She’s too plain and basic to be more than conventionally attractive.

Junkrat; He just ain’t, dude. Unless he’s your type, he isn’t hot. His personality doesn’t lend to his sex appeal, either. Very specific taste needed.

Mei; Only if you’re a butch lesbian or an even weirder dude. Very plain, but the body shape rep is nice. Her personality is probably only attractive if you’re into the same interests as her, or are familiar with your interests being shut down. This relationship will be a lot of gushing about fun science facts and god dang, you go you funky butch lesbians. Still not hot. 

C: Boring + bad idea

Brig; She has a hotness factor from the muscles. She still is not hot because she is so plain. She is white bread incarnate. Her personality of sweet, ‘girl-next-door’ is appealing for a relationship, but she just isn’t that hot aside from her buffness. 

Sigma; He’s often cited as one of the hotter guys, but is he, or do you just like the idea of cosmic horror? Is he hot, or do you want to be a monsterf*cker without actually commiting? He’s a traumatized Grandpa. He’s like an old, white man Mei. I’d go to the park with him and feed ducks. I would not canoodle.

Ashe; Like Widow, but more professional. She’s still boring, but at least the outfit makes her have some intrigue. Her story has the potential to make her more interesting, but let’s be real, she was only made as an attempt to stop the McHanzo shippers. 

D.va; She’s fine. She’s just a young adult. Nothing much to say. Blizzard really wants you to think she’s hot, though.

Hanzo; Look. This man, no matter when you approach him, is in a crisis. Before meeting Genji, he’s stuck in the past. After, he’s gone full white girl reinvention. I wouldn’t be surprised if your hookup was a rebound. If you canoodle him, there will be strings attached. He will call you afterwards and ask if you happened to find one of his nipple piercings in your sheets. You’ll get text messages asking if you want to smoke a joint. He has no skill in this. Until he goes to therapy, wide berth. He’s hot, but the consequences and implications outweigh the good time. 

B: A lil spice to ‘em

Torb; The personality is there. He’s a dilf. He’s a serious, but not without humor, haunted man who loves his family dearly. He gets made into a joke, but guys, this man would be a fan favorite if he wasn’t short. 

Ana; She’s adopted the Grannie personality, which knocks her down a bit, but Ana is hot even as an older woman. Not my cup ‘a joe, but she oozes sarcasm and confidence. Also, strikes fear into the rich and corrupt? Hot. 

Genji; He’s Hanzo, but after therapy. He’s got his ish together. He’ll treat you right. It’ll be the best relationship you’ve ever had because he’s so good at communication. But this isn’t about relationships. He’s hot because he’s vanilla. He’s a simple guy - and lets face it, a bottom. One of the plainer options, but still has some appeal to him with his maturity.

Zarya; Buff woman. Hot. Her personality isn’t for everyone, and her racism is...ugh...but c’mon. Look at her biceps. Look at them.

Moira; Will experiment on you in more ways than you expect. Androgynous, David Bowie. Not for the faint of heart. You’re definitely a lesbian or a femboy. Hot for her evilness. Not so hot for her nails. Not a good idea. Be careful.

Reinhardt; Big grandpa man. A gentle soul. Very loud. He’s hot for his confidence and voice. But, again, sooner feed ducks with him than anything else.

A: Hot

Sombra; Evil, intelligent, mischievous woman who is always one step ahead? Hot.

Doomfist; You are lying to yourself if you think he isn’t attractive. Jerk? No question. But listen to his voice. He’s classy, humorous, and very nicely muscled. Do not pursue a relationship under any circumstance, but look all you’d like. 

Zen; Like Genji, but hotter because of the inherent controversy of canoodling a monk. 

Soldier; Raspy voice, nice bone structure, haunted past, beefy but not too beefy. Kinda basic, but still appealing. 

Roadhog; Voice. Voice. Voice. This man is hot. You are a coward. Dad bod x 10. 

Lucio; Anarchist, fights corps, very kind and sweet. Lean muscle and fierce. Gentle and plays with kids. Cutie.

S: Hottest

Baptiste; Beefy, has some cake, romantic flirt, will take C A R E of you and make you breakfast. Look at him. Haunted past, muscles, nice voice, you KNOW he takes care of his nails and hygiene. Not just a good night, marry this man. Someone else will if you don’t. Hottest character in Overwatch.

McCree; Voice, dad bod, tanned, probably smells like smoke and sand. He’s a sweetie, but has some edge to him. A nice middle ground between Hot Evil and Hot Cute. Beard is definitely scratchy. 

Pharah; Buff woman with a nice voice, cute sense of humor, and sense of loyalty and responsibility? Like a female Baptiste. Go get the ring. Now. 

Reaper; Haunted past, claws, monster/inhuman, and that voice. Don’t pursue relationship. Casual meetups? Sure. Do not catch feelings, this isn’t a Wattpad story and you are not y/n, you will not change him.

Symmetra; She’s kinda confused but she has a good heart, good voice, and very nice legs. She’s dripping charisma and confidence, look at her. You are below her and that is quite an enjoyable experience. Would be a decent s/o, would have a lot to learn but she’d try her best. 

[sgt-paul]

Why in the tags of the anon about Paul and Jane’s relationship (which I agree with) do you then say in your tags the “uwu depression beard” is similarly misinterpreted? Paul himself said one of the reason he grew the beard was as a result of the insecurity and hopelessness he felt, stating he felt on the brink of a break down; drinking constantly and wanting to stay in bed. I can see that you want distance yourself from certain interpretations, but why deny that Paul suffered from depression?

(first of all, i’m sorry that it took me literally like a month to answer these!!i hope the two of you will see this post!)

i 100% want to distance myself from certain interpretations but i genuinely don’t know where did you get denial from that tag :D i probably should have used quotation marks better and i understand that i could have also elaborated on it, but i didn’t feel like flooding my tags with a needless rant + i didn’t expect anyone to actually read my tags properly and/or interpret them something like this. 

i’m aware of what he has said about this period, and i am far from being in denial about accepting that, and what he went through. i definitely think his post-break up period, his retreat to his farm, his tumultuous feelings, his depression and drinking problems etc have to be talked about, because i obviously think this was an extremely interesting, important and formative era of his life and i really value that he has openly (as openly as he could) talked about it multiple times.

(although i also think that his emphasis on it sometimes can come from the fact that in so many ways he was painted as the person who broke the band up. he was accused of being a soulless JR basically, essentially delivering the message that all he could care about was fame, money and success, and that the band has meant nothing to him. this could easily contribute to him wanting to correct the picture and he does this by stressing how emotional he felt during this period and that the band was important to him etc. it doesn’t take anything away from his feelings of course. just you know… context)

but… i still think that this period - which probably lasted a few months(?) in late 1969 and then some in mid 1970(?) (not to lower its significance) - gets so often confused with the previous and following years, and some people extend his depression to the get back sessions, or even to late 68 when the beard first appeared, and all the way to mid-71 until he ultimately shaved it off, which is quite misleading. we end up with paul being full on depressed for about 3 years, and that would be far from the truth. like, the era he was talking about, the one he had actually described as his worst, did not start until late 69, after the wrap up of abbey road. for instance, at the end of december he had already started working on mccartney (according to paul the album he had enjoyed recording the most), the sessions of which lasted ~4 months, so his description of the depressed phase can’t truly apply to this period either. or to photos from portugal 68, the get back sessions, the ram sessions etc.

another thing that’s sort of misleading, is that in some circles this “moping and pining” is getting traced back to only john (with the questionable popular theory that john “dumped” him) while all other contributing factors are ignored, (the shit at apple with klein, whom he had nightmares about, and the business problems he had had enough of; falling out with his best friends; his general love for the band and the concept of a band; his love and need for working and creating and the sudden loss of his workspace and therefore the feeling of uselessness which was especially hard on him… his general frustration anger and hurt in connection with the whole situation; growing up; being a solo act etc) which also helps to create an extremely inaccurate picture.

the emphasis was on the “uwu” part though lol, which was meant to imply that some people are basically obsessed with the idea of paul being depressed and sad, to a degree which i find ridiculous, and that some are aggressively clinging to paul’s depression because it’s another m*lennon proof for them. i really don’t wish to get into the almost fetishistic portrayals of his depression and/or draw comparisons between how his depression and john’s is presented, again, in a few circles, because i would love to save my energy for other things.

i’ve never seen him say he didn’t like the look of the beard and i personally doubt he would have done an entire movie with it and gone on for years sporting one on-and-off, if he had truly hated it. (although of course there is a difference between the “normal” beard, and the unkempt one which was a result of not caring, but, that’s like the whole point of this rant lol) the quote i can think of about the one he grew out during his depressed phase is about how the “motivation” behind that beard wasn’t to be groovy, he just couldn’t be bothered to shave at the time. but he has also talked about how he thought it was actually natural to have one and shaving was weird, and the joy he got out of not being recognized with it etc. (x) so as always, this topic is much more layered, and it’s clear that we’re talking about different situations and different motives. 

i’m definitely not saying he couldn’t have had low points before the break up, or after his main depressed phase passed, but i think there’s a difference between those and the state he had referred to (not getting up, heavy signs of alcoholism etc), so i would definitely not swipe it all under the “oh that’s The Depression™:)” umbrella as some people tend to do on here. 

i am not questioning his depression, his feelings, or that there could have been insecurity behind his decision of growing a beard and how it shows he did not have the energy to care. however i would think being thorough is something that this discussion and some parts of the fandom are missing, and it’s causing his depression and general state between 1969 and 1971 to be quite misinterpreted and misrepresented. i guess for me it’s just fucked up to see a photo of bearded paul and run into “oh he’s so depressed, that’s him being depressed:((((, depressed paul, dEpRessIo-” comments all the time, when the picture in question has nothing to do with the state paul himself had referred to. but i mean, everyone can interpret it however they want to and i probably sound like a idiot whining about it in such a long post lmao, but i felt like i had to clear it up for you guys. (it was just an inner joke with myself yo:/)

[billssefton]

my boss found out I’m living with my parents, required to shave a beard, and more

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. I’m embarrassed that my boss found out I’m living with my parents

I’m 26 years old and moved back in with my parents three months ago as a combination of getting renovicted (where a landlord evicts a tenant under the, sometimes false, reason of conducting renovation) and wanting to save up a downpayment to purchase my own place.

I work in an office and have been with the company since graduating five years ago. On a recent day off, my manager called the home phone and my mother picked up and handed the phone to me. I think they were provided an outdated phone number by HR.

Obviously I am embarrassed by this, as I especially don’t want people at work to know I moved back home as an adult. People will tend to judge you and look at you a certain way and I am aware of that. Basically I’m afraid that word will get around and affect my work relationships and/or future prospects with this employer. Why would a manager want to advance someone or recommend someone who doesn’t seem to have their personal life together?

I know it shouldn’t matter on paper but people don’t behave like that. Am I being paranoid? My plan now is just to basically just ignore it ever happened and be truthful if asked (and to get HR to update my cell #). What else should I do?

You are indeed being paranoid, or at least just overthinking this. This is not a big deal! It’s not even clear that your boss knows for sure that you moved back home (for all he knows, maybe your mom just answered your phone because you couldn’t get to it in time). But even if he does know or asks about it in the future, it’s no big deal to say “I’m saving up a down payment to purchase my own place” or “I’m temporarily at my parents’ house because my landlord decided to renovate.”

Living at home doesn’t mean you don’t have your personal life together. It’s true that it can come across that way if there are other signs of that too — inability to hold down a job, refusal to engage with the rest of the world, etc. But assuming that you otherwise seem reasonably together, it’s very unlikely that this would enter into your manager’s thinking about Professional You.

2. Badmouthing a colleague behind her back

Is it rude to badmouth a colleague behind their back? By this I don’t mean complaints or grievances (“I don’t like working with Fergus – he always stands too close and it makes me uncomfortable”) or factual / informational comments that are actually useful to know (“I worked with Fergus at my last job and he made an intern cry”).

To give some context, it was recently announced that my office would be using someone external for one of our projects — call her Jean. My team lead, but not my manager — call her Jane — had worked with Jean in the past and knew her fairly well. When this was announced, she told me privately that while Jean was incredibly skilled at her job, she was really mean. She didn’t give any further details, and I’m pretty sure she told other members of the team the same thing.

My issues are firstly that it soured any communication I had with Jean. I kept wondering if she was going to say something mean, rather than communicating productively. She never did (perhaps this one is my problem). Secondly, this started to make me question what Jane was saying about me behind my back (again, perhaps I’m being overly paranoid). Am I wrong to think that Jane’s comments about Jean being “really mean” were slightly unprofessional? I realize there’s every chance I’m reading too much into it.

I wouldn’t say “unprofessional,” exactly — but yeah, not useful or constructive. It was a broad characterization that didn’t give you very actionable information. It would be different if she’d said something like, “As a heads-up, my experience of Jane when we worked together was that she can come across as impatient and fairly critical of work that wasn’t her own. Don’t be thrown off if that happens; it’s not personal.” But just saying “she’s mean” could mean anything, and it doesn’t tell you what to prepare for. (“Mean” could mean anything from “didn’t laugh at my jokes” to “got justifiably annoyed when people gave her sloppy work” to “screamed at the nicest person in the office.”) And since there aren’t any specifics attached to it, it also feels kind of like a general slurring of Jane’s name. Giving more concrete information with context about why she thinks it’s useful for you to know would have been a better way to go.

3. My boss’s boss said I shouldn’t have a woman’s name (I’m a woman)

I am female and work for a large predominantly male company. I’ve worked there a long time and have had some big successes. In fact, just a week ago, my team released a very popular product that took months to make. The other day, while getting a coffee from the common area, ​I ran into ​my boss’s boss, who I have a completely formal relationship with. After literally​ ​saying​ ​just ​”Hi, how are you​” to him, he said​ ​to me​, ​”Katie, your name should be Bob.​ ​Doesn’t seem like you should have a woman’s name at all.​​”​ ​– apropos of​ ​nothing. He went on about how a woman’s name didn’t suit me … a woman.

I was caught completely off guard.​ ​​I carried on the conversation as if it didn’t bother me but I ​deeply regret not telling him he was being inappropriate.​ ​I consider myself to be a​ pretty​ average ​woman, and am absolutely in line with the office dress code.​ I​ ​feel incredibly irritated by this comment, and the meaning of it totally eludes me.​ I have a feeling never in 1,000 years would he say​ ​to my male colleague, “​Mike, your name should be Tiffany! You’re not really manly at all!” All I can conclude is that my boss’s boss has​ a​ serious etiquette problem.​ What should I do, if anything?

What on earth?! Is he implying something about your gender presentation (which would be wildly inappropriate and none of his business)? Is he making a sexist comment about how you have a tough, hard-driving style that he finds “masculine” (which would be inappropriate and gross)? Or … I don’t even know what the other possibilities are.

If you have decent rapport with your boss, you can mention it to her and if she has any idea what it meant. She may know her boss well enough that she can take a better stab at interpreting it than I can. Beyond that, though, if you haven’t seen any other problematic behavior from this guy, I’d make a mental note that he is sexist/weird/inappropriate/offensive and have it in the back of your head in case you seem additional evidence of it. (On the other hand, if this is part of a pattern of sexism from him, you may want to document it in case you decide at some point to act on that.)

4. Can your boss tell you to shave a beard?

I have a friend who has a very short, well-maintained beard. He shaved it after a barber mishap, and upon going into work, his boss told him that she preferred for him to continue to be clean shaven in the office. He let her know that he planned to grow his beard back, but she told him to start “waking up a few minutes earlier every day” to shave.

Is his boss allowed to reprimand him for ignoring her request about shaving and growing his beard back? I know that workplaces are allowed to place some stipulations on their employees appearances, but requesting that an employee shave really seems to be crossing the line. My friend is always well dressed, so this isn’t stemming from an overall need for him to be better put together in the workplace.

Yes, believe it or not, employers can require that men have clean-shaven faces. (The exception to this if you have a beard for religious or medical reasons.) This may seem weirdly retro and outdated, and it is.

But since your friend had a beard in this job previously, he could try pointing out that it hadn’t been an issue previously and asking on what grounds his boss is objecting now.

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my boss found out I’m living with my parents, required to shave a beard, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from Ask a Manager http://www.askamanager.org/2018/03/my-boss-found-out-im-living-with-my-parents-required-to-shave-a-beard-and-more.html