#because i was excited

[whumpbug]

hi bug!

for your boys, just a thought: a moment where archie has to patch simon up. role reversal. like if simon tried to protect his boy and got himself hurt, and now he has to talk archie through patching him up.....

your boys are so lovely. i can't wait to see them get whumped to bits in the event!!!

- @whump-kia

kia this was genuinely such a blast to write that it ended up a tad longer than i originally planned for, thank you SO much for the prompt (˃ᆺ˂) i hope u like it as much as i loved writing it because these boys are SILLY.

to anyone else: see this post for character info!

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There was a rumor circulating that there was an “inconspicuous medical student” spotted “aiding the activities of a notorious vigilante” in the city, and it was safe to say the crime lords and such were not happy about it.

The rumors were true, of course, but it didn’t make them any easier to deal with.

And Simon was currently dealing with them.

He should have known his extremely selfless and abundantly kind nature towards Archie would come back to bite him in the ass.

He’d be sure to rub it in Archie’s face when he saw him again.

“You’re the kid that’s been helping that little punk, aren’t you?” The man spat in Simon’s face as he shoved him up against the wall.

Judging by the way he was dressed and the way he smelled, Simon had half a mind to assume he was a goon from the drug ring Archie had been after for some time now.

Fortunately, the guy clearly wasn’t the brightest. No experienced lackey would start heckling a target in the middle of an open alley way without checking if anyone was around first.

Unfortunately, the guy was quite a bit stronger than Simon and there really wasn’t anyone around after all.

Just my luck.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Simon spewed back, struggling against the man’s grasp.

The man’s hand tightened around Simon’s neck and the gravity of the situation began to sink in.

He was alone in this alley. Sure, he had used the emergency button on his watch that sent signal to Archie as soon as he recognized he was in danger, but it had been a good amount of time and Archie was.. nowhere to be found.

“Don’t play dumb with me!” The man shouted, sending a knee slamming into Simon’s gut. “You’re going to tell me everything you know!” Another knee to his middle sent him stumbling back and doubling over.

“I don’t.. don’t know anything..” Simon sputtered, coughing harshly and tasting metal.

Simon knew he was in hot water. He had no combat training, so self defense skills, and despite being decently fit, he was no where near the league of a guy who beat people up for a living. He needed to get out of there as fast as possible.

Alright Simon, c'mon. Focus. You can handle this. Just think.

Before Simon could form another coherent thought, a fist connected with his face that sent him reeling. Blood began leaking from his nose all down his mouth, and he choked on the taste. Before he could recover, his whole body was rammed against the brick wall and his arm was pulled awkwardly behind him. 

The punch had left him dazed, so dazed that he didn’t recognize the sound of two other guys approaching the scene.

“For god’s sake, don’t kill the kid! Rough him up, get some information, but don’t kill him. We'll have more use for him later,” A deeper voice chided.

Simon heard vague mutters of obedience before he felt his arm being strained again.

“Alright kid, since I’m feeling so nice, I’ll give you a chance to redeem yourself. Answer the question and you’ll be on your way,” The man sneered. Simon could hear muffled snickers behind him, but couldn’t quite get the angle to look. “What is the little punk’s real name.”

He knew he should be sizing up the scene and determining the best course of action, but goddamn his arm hurt. He could feel every tendon being strained at the orientation the man had it at.

Still, no matter what, he wasn’t going to sell out Archie. Archie would come. He always did.

“N-No idea,” Simon spat, stomping on the man’s toe in an attempt to buck out of the hold.

Unfortunately, the man was still significantly stronger than Simon, so his attempt at retaliation only served in angering him further.

“You little—“ The man growled, before twisting Simon's arm and yanking it fully out of its socket.

Simon let out a stuttering wail as the pain temporarily blinded him. Suddenly, his head was being slammed against the wall again and he couldn’t figure out what was hurting more now: his head, his arm, or his stomach.

He was almost sure he was done for, until he heard a familiar shout and the sound of a fist connecting with a face.

Took him long enough.

Simon let himself slide down the wall once the man was pulled off of him, cradling his aching shoulder as he watched. Through hazy vision, he saw Archie made quick work of the lackeys. It was a flurry of hollers and yelps and limbs flying, but eventually, Archie emerged unscathed and rushed right over to Simon.

“I’m so sorry I was late! I was working, and I didn’t see the alert and— oh god, your arm!” He blurted, hands awkwardly hovering over Simon, a complete contrast to the ruthless machine he had been not a few seconds earlier.

Simon wanted to be mad, he really did. The emergency alert was there for a reason, after all. But how could he stay angry when Archie was looking at him with such sincere concern and regret. Simon sighed.

“It’s not as bad as it looks.. it’s dislocated, but I’m pretty sure it’s not broken so we won’t need to go to the hospital,” Simon explained.

Archie gave a small huff of relief.

“You do, however, need to help me pop it back into place.”

Archie blanched.

“Pop it back into place?! Isn’t that dangerous?! I don’t know what I’m doing!” He babbled.

“Relax, I’ll walk you through it. It’s not that hard. You just have to kinda.. push it until it feels right. I’ll let you know,” Simon replied, absurdly calm for the situation at hand.

“..Ok..” 

Simon carefully instructed Archie on where to place his hands and where to push in, and after a bit more coaxing, they were ready.

“Alright. Don’t give me a countdown. You have to just do it, or else I might tense up involuntarily and that could— URGH!”

A sickening snap reverberated from Simon’s offending limb.

“Sorry! I’m sorry! You said not to give you a countdown!” Archie mewled, pulling his hands away as if he’d just been burned.

“It’s fine.. it’s.. I’m good.. you did good,” Simon placated, squeezing his eyes shut at the lingering pain.

“Okay.. okay, that’s done. We should get you back to your apartment and patched up.. that black eye looks.. pretty rough..”

“Don’t I know it..”

Archie tenderly helped Simon to his feet, and supported the taller’s man weight with ease.

“Thanks for not, uh, selling me out by the way..” Archie murmured, as they began their arduous journey back to Simon’s home.

“Well, what type of ‘inconspicuous medical student’ would I be if I just went around telling everyone how I ‘aid the activities of a notorious vigilante’?” 

“...You’re an idiot.”

Simon grinned. Yep. All worth it.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

[noodles-and-tea]

Our hextech dream….

[paintedcrows]

It's for Charity Sixer!! Literally! don't forget to donate if you can! (link)

[giantkillerjack]

I think Gastronauts on Dropout is the cooking show that has made me truly appreciate the skill of professional chefs more than any other cooking show.

Like I don't know if it's because the challenges are so crazy or the fact that the judges don't have any professional input whatsoever (they're all comedians), but the combination of how utterly stoked the judges are to be eating this food and how creative the chefs get to be really works to make you marvel at just how skilled a professional chef has to be.

Other cooking shows always have a level-voiced narrator listing out shit like,

"Rebecca is doing a praline-mint ganache with a Twiffly Street stir-up, combined with a gestelle Santa Maria sponge technique."

And it's fun to pretend like, 'Ah, yes. Of course! A classic of the genre! She'd be a fool not to!' as though I know anything about cooking or baking.

But on Gastronauts, it's a bunch of comedians who would really graciously appreciate some fancy food, watching chefs cook and going, like,

"What is that? What is he doing?? It's like- like a swishy thing! Like a fancy swishy thing!!"

"OH MY GOD YES, HE'S USING ONIONS."

"Ooo! Crunchies!??"

And then the chefs get to come out and formally present their food, which makes them look very smart. And these actors who generally can't afford Michelin star cuisine are just :DDDD!

And it's like, oh yeah. This is about my level, yes. This conveys how normal people who don't eat good food for a living would actually react. And it's super chill. It's good vibes, that show. 👌

[littlemizzlinguistics]

Studying linguistics is actually so wonderful because when you explain youth slang to older professors, instead of complaining about how "your generation can't speak right/ you're butchering the language" they light up and go “really? That’s so wonderful! What an innovative construction! Isn't language wonderful?"

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

(Not) an approved use of the Power Of Friendship

[ladywhistleballs]

This is exactly how I picture them after colin and pen married 😂

[lindenhe]

I was practicing with clothes and got a little carried away~

Also a little contribution for the tailor!Astarion au, because my Tav is a bard with a noble background and usually has a need in fancy outfits.

[juiche]

They accidentally cut the last shot of the show, but I drew it for ya, you're welcome <3

get your own print here

[remxedmoon]

yknow i think their cloak should be a little stained actually. just a little.

[0vergrowngraveyard]

Do you think Sonic would snap a picture of the first time tails went super. Like a proud parent showing off their kid’s first steps?

the group chat went crazy

[cutter-kirby]

obligatory “cool characterization, still murder” like I’m not excusing him but it does make him incredibly interesting

(*girl gender neutral edition)

[rapidhighway]

that's gotta hurt

[weevmo]

The Same Shoes

Prefacing this with: This was quick iffy practice on Procreate so it's not super great - I just really really just want to see Ragatha do something hard to forgive -

[nevesceramics]

WIP peek at the hugging werewolves ♥

[otaku553]

I am going to be So Insufferable about this man in 2 days.