#because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it

[autisticandroids]

FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.

[youtube with closed captions]

dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.

(via @closetoyou1970)

[yanderefairyangel]

How much of a pass can we give writers for writing one thing that wasn't intended to be something different (usually controversial) but it was interpreted that way by the audience/fandom?

Normally as much as needed, but in this era the answer is sadly none.

But I feel like most people don't even realize some of the things they say are problematic and not just because of the questionable morality of accusing someone to villify a mental disorder without actual proof nor actually listening to their real intentions but also because of the effect it has on the writing.

Not trying to bring this back but when the Fell twins were confirmed romance and thus leading people to try to prove they are siblings to Alear (because of course, that's the normal response to that ) they don't even realize that Alear being siblings with the Fell twins has ACTUAL bearing on the plot and would have consequence on the continuity of the text. However, independantly of their S support with Alear, it's kind of obvious IS wasn't intending to do anything too big with them : their plot relevance last the Fell Xenologue and that's it. The writing for their relationship with Alear and how they don't affect much the plot in general and their design or how the writers purposefully made them not siblings to their Alear in canon so that it would determine their relationship with our Alear, regardless of Sombron. And the thematic of the pair of sibling within our cast and how they foil each other. So their S support isn't really the cause of this narrative but more a result of this narrative which is that IS didn't knew what to do with them and made them romance to call it a day...(regardless this decision will result in IS denying the siblings allegations, as they always do).

In the case of Veyle and Seadall, you'd have to ask yourself what DID and ED brings to their writing seeing how 1/In Seadall's case, the diet thing just exist and isn't deeply explained 2/ In Veyle's case, it kind goes against her own character arc of finding herself and becoming whom she wants to be since the brainwash is likely a metaphor (used literaly here) for the psychological damage a parent inflict upon his children when he is being violent against them... I mainly say this based on Rafal and additonally her brainwash doesn't exist just to explain why "evul" but to create a parallel with Alear and their past self... to put it short those allegations are all bothersome in the sense that they show that they don't understand the writing and blame the writers that never intended that to happen in the first place.

In one case it makes Seadall looks like a lazy attempt to tackle a heavy topic when... it was clearly not the goal and in another it would make Veyle's narrative convoluted leading to a contradiction between what the story is showing and telling and whatever those people though the writers had in mind

The difference between the two and idk Bernadetta is that Bernie explicitely tell us herself that her "waky attics" are actually PTSD comming from the parental abuse that her father made her go through so there you can say that the handling of her trauma is badly done in 3H because of how the writing contractids herself

This doesn't exist in Veyle and Seadall's case because Seadall's situation is never treated as seriously and Veyle is never used to make slapstick jokes.

What's worse is when the fandom doesn't even realize that it really is just an intepretation on their part and get mads at other for trying to explain that to them while unfairly accusing the writers of something they never though someone would imagine

(note : me talking about the Fell twins/Alear situation as an example is not an invitation in flodding my ask box with arguments to whether or not they are close relatives)

[rmkenvs3000w23]

Unit 2: My Ideal Role as an Environmental Interpreter

It’s taken me longer than I thought it would to write this post. I think this could be because I consider myself to be much more of a generalist than a specialist. I like to say that I can talk a little bit about a lot, which makes imagining my ideal role as an environmental interpreter difficult. When thinking about the things that are important to consider for the role of an environmental interpreter - setting, intended audience, learning and teaching strategies, the story I want to tell - I immediately think about those interpreters and communicators who have most influenced me.  

I’ve already mentioned Steve Irwin, David Attenborough, the Kratt Brothers, but I would add to that list people like Bill Nye, the Mythbusters, Jane Goodall, Carl Sagan, Jay Ingram, Ziya Tong, Dan Riskin, Richard Feynman, Hank Green, people who wear their enthusiasm for the world around us on their sleeves, and who share that enthusiasm with all of us. Not all of them are strictly speaking ‘naturalists’, or what you would think of first when asked to describe an environmental interpreter, but in unabashedly showing us that enthusiasm, they have all engaged and inspired millions of people, including me. 

By showing us the farthest reaches of our world, zooming in on tiny micro-organisms, giving us sweeping shots of vast savannah plains, dense rain forests, and frigid tundras most humans will never see, inviting us to look up as they peel back the curtain that lines the night sky and give us with a peak at the cosmos, and by taking the time to explain all of the invisible forces at play so that we can have a more complete understanding of how all of it works, they are all natural interpreters. My proclivity for drawing from many different fields can be a great asset to my role as an environmental interpreter, but the idea of trying to transfer all of that understanding to the intended audience is slightly daunting, and I will have to be conscious of getting across a good mix of vital information and interesting, but maybe less related facts. 

I also think of people like my Uncle Tom. Tom Browne is my Mom’s older brother, who has been a constant role model for me since I was little. Because I don’t think he’ll ever read this, I will describe him like this: I think deep down inside, a part would have loved to have been born two hundred years ago so he could have lived on the plains, able to take all the time would ever need to appreciate the natural world for what it is. He is one of the kindest and most giving people I have known, and he is also one of the biggest reasons for my love of the natural world. Over the years, he has rescued or helped to rescue dozens of animals that he happens upon. Turtles from the side of the road, racoons and opossums in neighbour’s backyards or chimneys, birds caught in fishing line, he goes out of his way to help whenever he can. 

He also tries his best to learn as much as he can. Many times as he has been telling me a story of finding a gull with a lure tangled around its legs, or a turtle that’s been hit by a car, he’s suddenly gone off on an excited tangent about what he had learned in researching whatever it is that he was dealing with. This constant desire to learn and share that new knowledge is another aspect of being an environmental interpreter that is extremely important, and one I want to make sure I do effectively. 

The role of environmental interpreter is linked very closely to the role of  teacher. As my plan after my undergrad is to pursue teacher’s college and then eventually become a teacher, I can’t help but picture myself taking a group of student’s on an interpretive walk, sharing my love for the world around me and helping students appreciate the greatest and most important resource we have, our planet. In order to be an effective environmental interpreter or a teacher, an understanding of the diverse theories surrounding learning and teaching styles is vital. Beck et al. (2018) describes a variety of these in some detail, and I would be interested to try different interpretative activities in order to determine which strategies I am most comfortable with, and which ones I may need to put more effort into using effectively.    

Works Cited:

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: For A Better World. Sagamore Venture.

[maxwell-grant]

What are your thoughts on Jekyll/Hyde and his archetype of the human periodically changing into a monster ?

Jekyll & Hyde was the 2nd horror story I read following Frankenstein, I got it off the same library and it always stuck very strongly with me even before I got into horror in general. I even dressed up as Jekyll/Hyde as a kid for a school fair by shredding a lab coat on one side and asking my sister to make-up claw gashes on my exposed arm and paint half of my face, although in hindsight I think I ended up looking more like Doctor Two-Face than Jekyll/Hyde, but I was 12 and didn't have any Victorian clothing to use so I had to make do. The first film project I tried doing at film school was intended to be a modern take on Jekyll & Hyde, and I didn't get much farther than a couple of discarded scripts

Much like Frankenstein, Mr Hyde as a character and a story is something that's kind of baked into everything I do artistically. And it's not just me, as even in pop culture itself, none of us can escape Mr Hyde. I would go so far as to argue Mr Hyde may be the single most significant character created by victorian fiction, if only by the sheer impact and legacy the character's had.

(Fan-art by guilhermefranco)

Part of what makes Mr Hyde such a powerful and lasting icon of pop culture is that the very premise of the book invites a personal reading that's gonna vary from person to person. Because everyone's familiar with the basic twist of the story, that it's a conflict of duality, of the good and evil sides, but everyone has a more personal idea of what those entail. Some people make the story more about class. A lot of readings laser-focus on sex and lust as the driving force, and there's also a lot of readings of Mr Hyde that tackle it to explore a more gendered perspective, and so forth.

I don't particularly take much notice of the Jekyll & Hyde adaptations partially because the novel's premise and themes have become baked so throughly into pop culture and explored in so many different and interesting ways, that I'm not particularly starving for good Jekyll & Hyde adaptations the way I am for Dracula and Frankenstein. The Fredric March film in particular is one that orbits my head less because of the film itself (although I do recommend it), but because of one specific scene, and that's when Jekyll first transforms into Hyde on screen.

Out of all the things they could have shown him doing right that second, they instead took the time to show him enjoying the rain.

Just Hyde taking off his hat and letting it all cascade on his face with this sheer enthusiasm like he's never been to the rain before, never enjoyed it before, and now that he's free from being Jekyll, he gets to enjoy life like he never has before. It's such an oddly humanizing moment to put amidst a horror movie, in the scene where you're ostensibly introducing the monster to the audience, and it makes such a stark contrast to the rest of the film where Hyde is completely irredeemable, but I think it's that contrast that makes the film's take on Hyde work so well even with it's diverging from the source material, even if I don't particularly like in general interpretations of Hyde that are focused on a sexual aspect.

Because one, it understands that Jekyll was fundamentally a self-serving coward and not a paragon of goodness, and two, it also understands one of the things that makes Hyde scary: He wants what all of us want, to live and be happy. He's happy when he leaves the lab and dances around in the rain like a giddy child, he's happy when he goes to places Jekyll couldn't dream of showing up, he's happy as a showgirl-abusing sexual predator. Hyde is all wants, all the time, and there's not that much difference between his wants, his domineering possessiveness, and the likes exhibited by Muriel's father and Jekyll's own within the very same film, which also works to emphasize one of the other ideas of the original story, that Edward Hyde doesn't come from nowhere. That no monster is closer to humanity than Mr Hyde, because he is us. He is the thing that Jekyll refused to take responsability for until it was too late.

(Art by LorenzoMastroianni)

While many of the ideas that defined Mr Hyde had already been explored in pop culture beforehand, Hyde popularized and redefined many of them in particular by modernizing the idea. He was the werewolf, the doppelganger, The Player On The Other Side, except he came from within. He was not transformed by circumstance, he made himself that way, and the elixir merely brought out something already inside his soul. To acknowledge that he's there is to acknowledge that he is you, and to not do that is to either lose to him, or perish. Hyde was there to address both the rot settling in Victorian society as well as grappling concerns over Darwinian heritage, of the realization that man has always had the beast inside of him (it's no accident that Hyde's main method of murder is by clubbing people to death with his cane like a caveman).

I've already argued on my post about Tarzan that the Wild Man archetype, beginning with Enkidu of The Epic of Gilgamesh, is the in-between man and beast, between superhero and monster, and that Mr Hyde is an essential component of the superhero's trajectory, as the creature split in between. That stories about dual personalities, doppelgangers, the duality of the soul, the hero with a day job and an after dark career, you can pinpoint Hyde as a turning point in how all of these solidified gradually in pop culture. And I've argued otherwise that The Punisher, for all that his image and narrative points otherwise, is ultimately just as much of a superhero as the rest of them, even if no one wants to admit it, drawing a parallel between The Punisher and Mr Hyde. And he's far from the only modern character that can invite this kind of parallel.

The idea of a regular person periodically or permanently transforming into, or revealing itself to be, something extraordinary and fantastic and scary, grappling with the divide it causes in their soul, and questions whether it's a new development or merely the truest parts of themselves coming to light at last, and the effects this transformation has for good and bad alike. The idea of a potent, dangerous, unpredictable enemy who ultimately is you, or at least a facet of you and what you can do. That these are bound to destroy each other if not reconciled with or overcome.

You know what are my thoughts on the archetype of "human periodically changing into a monster" are? Look around you and you're gonna see the myriad ways The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde's themes have manifested in the century and a half since the story's release. Why it shouldn't be any surprise whatsoever that Mr Hyde has become such an integral part of pop culture, in it's heroes and monsters alike. Why we can never escape Mr Hyde, just as Jekyll never could.

It is Nixon himself who represents that dark, venal and incurably violent side of the American character that almost every country in the world has learned to fear and despise. Our Barbie-doll president, with his Barbie-doll wife and his boxful of Barbie-doll children is also America's answer to the monstrous Mr. Hyde.

He speaks for the Werewolf in us; the bully, the predatory shyster who turns into something unspeakable, full of claws and bleeding string-warts on nights when the moon comes too close… - Hunter S. Thompson

There is a scene in the movie Pulp Fiction that explains almost every terrible thing happening in the news today. And it's not the scene where Ving Rhames shoots that guy's dick off. It's the part where the hit man played by John Travolta is talking about how somebody vandalized his car, and says this:

"Boy, I wish I could've caught him doing it. I'd have given anything to catch that asshole doing it. It'd been worth him doing it, just so I could've caught him doing it."

That last sentence is something everyone should understand about mankind. After all, the statement is completely illogical -- revenge is supposed to be about righting a wrong. But he wants to be wronged, specifically so he'll have an excuse to get revenge. We all do.

Why else would we love a good revenge movie? We sit in a theater and watch Liam Neeson's daughter get kidnapped. We're not sad about it, because we know he's a badass and he finally has permission to be awesome. Not a single person in that theater was rooting for it to all be an innocent misunderstanding. We wanted Liam to be wronged, because we wanted to see him kick ass. It's why so many people walk around with vigilante fantasies in their heads.

Long, long ago, the people in charge figured out that the easiest and most reliable way to bind a society together was by controlling and channeling our hate addiction. That's the reason why seeing hurricane wreckage on the news makes us mumble "That's sad" and maybe donate a few bucks to the Red Cross hurricane fund, while 9/11 sends us into a decade-long trillion-dollar rage that leaves the Middle East in flames.

The former was caused by wind; the latter was caused by monsters. The former makes us kind of bummed out; the latter gets us high.

It's easy to blame the news media for pumping us full of stories of mass shootings and kidnapped children, but that's stopping one step short of the answer: The media just gives us what we want. And what we want is to think we're beset on all sides by monsters.

The really popular stories will always feature monsters that are as different from us as possible. Think about Star Wars -- what real shithead has ever referred to himself as being on "the dark side"? In Harry Potter and countless fantasy universes, you have wizards working in "black magic" and the "dark arts." Can you imagine a scientist developing some technology for chemical weapons or invasive advertising openly thinking of what he does as "dark science"? Can you imagine a real world leader naming his headquarters "The Death Star" or "Mount Doom"?

Of course not. But we need to believe that evil people know they're evil, or else that would open the door to the fact that we might be evil without knowing it. I mean, sure, maybe we've bought chocolate that was made using child slaves or driven cars that poisoned the air, but we didn't do it to be evil -- we were simply doing whatever we felt like and ignoring the consequences. Not like Hitler and the bankers who ruined the economy and those people who burned the kittens -- they wake up every day intentionally dreaming up new evils to create. It's not like Hitler actually thought he was saving the world.

So no matter how many times you vote to cut food stamps and then use the money to buy a boat, you could still be way worse. You could, after all, be one of those murdering / lazy / ignorant / greedy / oppressive monsters that you know the world is full of, and that only your awesome moral code prevents you from turning into at any moment. And those monsters are out there.

They have to be. Because otherwise, we're the monsters - 5 Reasons Humanity Desperately Wants Monsters To Be Real, by Jason Pargin

(Two-Face sequence comes from the end of Batman Annual #14: Eye of the Beholder)

For good or bad, Hyde has become omnipresent. He's a part of our superheroes, he's a part of our supervillains, he's in our monsters. He lives and prattles in our ears, sometimes we need him to survive, and sometimes we become Hyde even when we don't need to, because our survival instincts or base cruelties or desperation brings out the worst in us. Sometimes we can beat him, and sometimes he's not that bad. Sometimes we do need to appease him and listen to what he says, about us and the world around us. And sometimes we need to do so specifically to prove him wrong and beat him again.

But he never, ever goes away, as he so accurately declares in the musical

Do you really think That I would ever let you go...

Do you think I'd ever set you free?

If you do, I'm sad to say It simply isn't so

You will never get away FROM MEEEEEE

(Art by Akreon on Artstation)

[sugar-petals]

Hey Caro ☺️ I just took your super m quiz - thanks for making such a fun quiz, I feel like it helped me get into super m! I know nothing about them yet but I thought it fit soo well that I got Kai bc I’m a full time dancer - now you have me super curious about him 👀👀

KAI :: INTRODUCTION MASTERPOST (dance focus)

so you wanna know about the god of k-pop choreo? oh yeah, i’ll talk to you about fucking kai! if you dance, this guy is the #1 must-know. once you see him move, there’s no going back. i don’t exaggerate: kai is the gold standard. brace yourselves, i’ll show you why.

kim kai aka kim jongin (27) is a solo artist and super m’s plus exo’s main dancer — est 2019 and 2012 respectively — heading either group with a passionate, hyper-physical style that roots in his early practice of of jazz dance and ballet. the influence definitely shows. 

learning choreography, he’s become the gorgeous fusion of emotional grace and explosive power that unites both tension and extreme accuracy. while at the same time: never sacrificing his interpretation. and HOW MUCH HE BLEEDS FOR HIS CRAFT. he enjoys it so much. 

and he’s communicating it 100%, jongin’s dance is so interactive and raw, luring. i swear to god, put the seatbelts on for this one. it’s never just him, it’s you as well. you’ve never seen this before. he’s like “yes, i meant you, i’m looking at you”:

he’s even gonna modify the choreography to point right at you to underline that very thought. he’s so good, he can learn it, ace it, epitomize it, and do his own thing anyway. even the person in the last row will get whatever point kai wants to make. this is dance that belongs on the biggest stages.

even when he films without a crowd, it’s like you’re literally standing opposite to him. he focuses on two people: his moves, and the viewer. he has it look like you made him smile and self-aware, or you made him determined. INCREDIBLE. he shows his charisma, BUT he also shows your own (!) impact on him. it’s a duet. he wants you to join him on the dancefloor. this is from exo’s call me baby mv where kai does his famous come-hither:

he flirts and he encourages. he values the audience and wants them to be confident as well. i think it’s the reason why he’s so outstanding and addictive, kai thinks beyond himself. it’s a tango he involves you in with his eyes and how he opens his body, interprets a lyric.

it’s not about imposing himself going one way. instead: he plays the back and forth ALL. THE. TIME. in any context. whether it be frivolous, or fun, or gloomy, or sweet. even with a simple little smiley wink it’s happening. and he acts like you had a reaction to it. there’s literally just a camera.

this guy’s physique, strength, elegance, feeling for the beat, character portrayal (!), and control is unbelievable. he’s destroyed it in every fancam out there. he can’t switch it off even if he tried. your eyes would go toward him in the largest group formation still. put him in the center, that’s his spot, he showcases it.

because he doesn’t just show learned moves, he makes it radiate something dynamic and animalistic (he embodies superm’s ‘tiger inside’ all the way). 

jongin’s dance says: i love this, you love this, let’s do this, the feeling is right. he makes bodies and unrestrained touch the opposite of wrong, he pronounces it a source of having fun and being instinctual. and he never breaks the tie with you throughout, and uses his shoulders and lips to put the oomph into it. 

he uses innuendo and a ‘we both know’ sentiment perfectly as an invitation rather than just going through his routine. that’s how he can make each move fascinating. you can tell kai knows exactly how to make everyone scream their lungs out. i bet somebody held their breath just reading this post already.

exo’s most famous choreo is ‘monster’ (kai focus linked) with good reason: jongin can turn himself into nothing short of a roaring beast. it’s one sharp, complex move after the other. kai can bend any gravitational law he wants to show any feeling and pose he wants. a glimpse:

now, how to spot him in general if you’re new to him? here are some pointers. kai’s execution is clean, fast, and powerful. those are two decades (!) of experience showing. kai is an all or nothing dancer, he plays no games. he treats every group and solo stage like his best and last. his work ethic is beyond words. yeah, he’s a capricorn. his style is direct as can be, working every axis.

as you can see, jongin is hard to overlook anyway: he’s a 182cm giant made of steel. he strives to acutely visualize impact in his style and it is always successful. in fact, it’s his signature. it’s like he creates invisible objects and pushes through them. boom, he just burst another bubble.

when the song gets to his part, i guarantee you won’t miss him and all the boldness and expression he brings to enrich the performance. hell... he carries it. jongin can handle the center, i’m telling you. (look how fast he rotates here)

talking features — this is what to look for when he dances in a group setting: you can recognize kai’s face by how wide, bluntly structured and sensual it is. jongin is a sight. he has such an aura, serious, sultry, and smiling alike.

with a very recognizable silhouette (like... holy hell!):

he’s very cute as well ♡ the fandom and kai himself have an adorable analogy going on. jongin calls himself a teddy/nini bear and we joined in on it. (i made a thread about it here, it talks more about his offstage life) — hence kai’s fans are called eri-gom, eris as in exo’s fanbase and gom meaning bear. 

and i mean. look at him. what an attractive guy. he’s that handsome. strong brows, teddy eyes, square jaw, swept hair, glorious lips, tan skin. 

now yes, something important concerning his appearance and a serious topic: i don’t want to list you the endless instances of colorism that kai has to endure but it has to be mentioned. jongin has been called every name in the book and people agonize him over his skin incessantly. it goes on and on and on. every day a new terrible comment about him emerges because some pitiful person thought it was funny and would elevate them. 

he’s had to deflect, ignore, reframe, defend, remotivate, assert, harden, prove, denounce, and push himself, protect his confidence, decline skin bleaching constantly, laugh along, dance and practice thrice as hard to get the respect, and still see his dignity torn to pieces all day. i’ll just give it to you straight, that’s all fucked up. kai’s skin is perfect, he’s amazing and wonderful. 

in his own words:

— exactly right. say it even louder.

having him at the bottom of every joke is weird and messed up. this man is an utter beauty and nothing has to be fixed. it is up to him to define himself rather than get called ugly for his skin’s appearance by default, and get whitewashed at every opportunity. it’s been going on for 27 years, he scrunitizes himself all the time and doesn’t look at himself fondly because he hears these beatdowns daily.

it’s heartbreaking that this happens literally with no end in sight (’kai is just a stripper!’... ‘he has bad vibes’... ‘darkest guy jongin!’). for his skin, and how he decides to show it, too. jesus christ his skin looks fantastic, end of debate. they just can’t handle him, kai couldn’t be any more immaculate.

♡

jongin has vigorously protected fans from discrimination, bullies, and shaming himself whenever it came up. in a very straightforward and deadpan manner because he knows exactly how it damages you. (”J” in the subtitles = jongin, he’s wearing the plain white top at the very back)

we need to protect and praise him that way right back. it’s important.

so, needless to say. all in for jongin getting the center stage he deserves. because he has the wow factor in every regard. kai usually opens an MV because there’s no better way to get people’s attention with that level of presence. with kai, you can’t go wrong. if you get the center in a an all star group like superm, you are the king.

being part of that presence, kai’s stage alter ego has reached levels of infamity you can’t even imagine. it’s great to see him being sovereign without apology.

and it doesn’t stop there. he shows time and again that acting, props, and commanding the audience has to be mastered to be an exceptional dancer. kai owns his sex appeal. sometimes, he even dances a portion of choreo with his eyes closed because he’s feeling it so much.

he is a pro in using his surroundings as well, superm’s stages are a glorious opportunity for kai to show how he comfortably ‘lives in’ the 3D space around him.

which makes the viewer do the same: watching kai makes you feel amazing, energized, but also serene and enjoying the moment. 

there’s always balance. it’s the magic of it. e.g. he comes along with so much impetus and decisiveness but eventually, he halts to offer himself. here i am — take me. i’m yours. closed arms, open arms. walking, kneeling. looking down, looking up.

kai goes every extra mile there ever was and makes each eye contact count. involving the audience, one grin at a time. it works. it’s about establishing contact. he connects to the onlooker with so much nuance. 

kai’s smirk is notorious and you can see why it’s so raw and real: he makes it linger. it’s such a duality since his dancing says i’ll come over, while his message is come and get me, i know what’s on your mind.

with a hilarious twist – kai expertly uses humor. you don’t get that in many dancer repertoires. i love it. all those quick expression changes. his smile! 😊 what a man.

so — what makes him so good and known: yes, his style doesn’t deny that dancing and eroticism are one in his business. that takes courage. kai has it. iconic performances have been his reward. point dance/killing part: exo’s love shot choreo. 

that suit has swept the nation. what’s more: kai shows you it’s more than just good hip movement that a good dancer needs. he does everything at once, he puts the pleasure on his face, all his limbs are following the template he chooses.

the thing is. kai couldn’t be any shyer, but when the music starts he becomes a oscar-winning madman. he emotes constantly (!) and stays in character. this is gold.

jongin always plays it up. he knows how to use that face and does a lot of power posing. this is how visceral looks like. he’s interpreted exo’s aggressive concepts to a T.

and he has so. much. fun. it propels him. on every beat.

past every hurt, heartbreak and injury, man. if you know about his genre you knew this was coming, kai does all of that with 4 herniated discs. since debut days, never recovered. every gif in this thread, he dances with a battered spine. wheelchairs, stage collapses, relapse-recovery-schedule tales, the dilemma of injuries being inevitable, limping, kai falling into depression during breaks, constant pain killers, countless tears on stage, we’ve seen it all, the extreme end of it. 

kai works out like hell to literally keep his body from falling apart. but it doesn’t help the nerves in his back that are impacted. doing choreo you can sometimes literally see the pain kicking in and he pulls himself through with force for the last minute. once you know how strained his back is, you can see it.

at the end his expression goes fuck now it’s coming when the adrenaline fades. he takes every second-pause he gets to rest but still finishes each move. even when he holds back, he keeps it together and executes each turn. sometimes, he has to restrict himself and soften his movements to protect his health (especially in hard choreographies such as lucky one which is universally disliked by exo — still jongin makes the very best of it smiling bright and dancing so hard his sleeves come off).

he frequently states he ‘dances in any case unless his legs are affected by something’. all torso injuries are fair game, this guy is hardcore. and people claim he’s just pretending. chen (a fellow exo member) says not a single part of jongin’s body is intact. he has paid every price to get this far to follow his love. he’ll step on stage with crutches. he works SO HARD.

that being said: exo being called the official nation’s group, i say kai is the nation’s dancer. period. he has had his great moment at the korean olympics flawlessly dancing in a hanbok with traditional instruments and fulfilling his dream. 

i love the tension and drama he can bring. he can also thrill with slow, vulnerable movements alike.

kai’s is called a legend, he’s all that and even more. the facial expressions alone are feared by any kai stan because they hit home. 

this guy is a sex icon and goes off like a gun, messing around was never kai’s incentive. 

while at the same time being incredibly nuanced and so, so descriptive with his movements.

point dance: baby don’t cry. yep, kai has danced in water. must-watch.

this man loves what he is doing. he said he wouldn’t regret to die on stage because dancing is his destiny. boy, it shows. this guy has found his purpose. he can tell any story he wants. he’s a complete artist.

he’s perfectly portraying his incentive and he couldn’t look any more like a god on earth.

long story short, kai is dance and motivation goals. if you dance professionally, you can easily look toward him for the right words.

if you want to further your study and knowledge: he released a self-titled solo album recently. highly recommended. he worked forever on it, and he’s really dishing it on there. you get to hear his soft voice plus sizzling footwork. and he isn’t even getting started yet. you’ll hear from kai, i promise. he constantly achieves new levels of artistic perfection.

a last remark. jongin is amazing for a myriad of reasons that go beyond what i show you here given the post focuses on his work on stage. but the point stands, while other people have tried to break him, he broke through every barricade instead and stood up for himself. we can be extremely happy to have him and witnessing his unreal dance is an exceptional pleasure. here’s to jongin continuing his passion and confidence, healing, and getting the sweeping respect and acknowledgement that is his.

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

Raise the Stakes, Part 10

Hope you've enjoyed the pic/ inspiration spam I've ben posting! Here's the next section. YOu can find previous sections on the Master List.

Do I have an ending for this coming up? No. I have about 6 and I haven't decided which direction I'm going to go in. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'm not going to be able to "pick" an ending until after they have their match at Resurgence next week. But please feel free to message me and tell me what should happen. In the meantime...

Pairing: David Finlay x OFC x Jay White

Word count: 1,943

Content advisory: nothing really, although I guess there's some behavior that could be interpreted as creepy

You’re dimly aware of someone lifting you and carrying you and by the time you get backstage, you’re more or less fully conscious.

“Are you ok?” one of the production assistants comes running over.

“Yeah, I just haven’t had a lot to eat today,” you mumble. “I’m not hurt or anything.”

“I know it’s hot out there with the lights and everything.”

“Really, it’s ok, I just got a bit dizzy.”

The security guard looming over you, the man who brought you back here, looks a little skeptical.

“What happened?”

“You fainted.”

“No, I mean, what happened with the show? I saw that… Switchblade showed up.” You chuckle a little. “Did the other guys beat him up or are they all together?”

The production assistant smiles. “It was pretty cool. They kind of stared down but before anything happened, Juice and David went running out, so them and Callihan cleared the ring.”

“Nice.” You very much like the sound of that. “The good guys got one back.”

“Yeah, I mean Jay hit David and took him out at the end but it was pretty positive.”

“He what?”

“Yeah, after they’d driven everyone off, Jay jumped back in and did his blade runner thing on David. Looked pretty cool.”

Panic sets in.

“Is David ok?”

“I’m sure he is. Maybe his ego’s a bit bruised.”

“Where is he?”

You and David aren’t “out” as anything, you’re not even sure if you are anything, but you don’t care what anyone makes of it because you need to see him.

“I think he’s with the doctor,” the PA answers confusedly.

You’re immediately on your feet, all of your faculties returned, running for the medic’s office. When you get there, Juice tries to grab your arm but you dodge him and go skidding into the room where David is seated on the examination table. He looks at you like he’s surprised to see you.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

“Fine. Are you? I sort of fainted and… I heard you got hurt.”

He gives you a wink. “Nothing I haven’t felt before. This is just a precaution because I wasn’t expecting the…” He stares at you hard before addressing himself to the doctor. “Could you give us a minute?’

“No problem,” she sighs. “You look fine.”

David thrusts his chin out at Juice to tell him that he should back off too. His partner looks a little unsure but steps back a few paces.

Once you’re alone, David raises his arm, inviting you to come closer. When you’re within reach, he pulls you against him.

“I didn’t know,” you croak. “I had no idea about any of this, you have to believe me, I wouldn’t-”

“Hey,” he says softly, touching your cheek, “if you say you didn’t know then I believe you.”

“This is my fault, though. I made it worse.”

“Stop that. Jay’s an asshole. He always has to be angry about something. I beat him in Japan and you ditched him to come here.”

“For you,” you remind him.

He gives you a sweet kiss and runs his finger along the shell of your ear. “What do you mean, you fainted?”

“I just got dizzy. I haven’t really eaten.”

“Well let’s fix that. I’ll just finish up with the doc and we can go get something to eat.”

“You mean it?” It’s such a relief that he still wants to spend time with you that you feel like you’re going to pass out again.

“Yeah I mean it.” He grins and calls out for the doctor to come back in. She does a quick final check and determines that he can go.

He slips off the table and, as you go to leave, slips his arm around you. You respond in kind and it feels like your body is glowing.

Until you get into the hallway. There he is, talking to some of the guys, laughing away, the arrogance just rolling off him. He glances at the two of you with a sinister expression, his eyes locking onto yours until you turn your head away.

“You should kick his ass right here,” you growl.

David looks at you and shakes his head. “Not worth the trouble.” He gives you a squeeze before continuing, “Now what do you feel like eating?”

“At this point, anything that doesn’t eat me first.”

“I never did get my cheat pizza.”

“I think you deserve it,” you grin.

“So let’s go pick up some pizza. Then we can go back to your place and you can take care of me.”

A broad smile spreads across your face. “You aren’t getting sick of me yet?”

“Not even a little bit.”

He pulls you in front of him and kisses you full on, not wildly but enough to make it clear to anyone who sees you what’s going on. He chuckles when he lets you go and glances down the hallway where Jay is still holding court with his hangers-on.

“Jay,” he calls, waiting until he’s sure he has his enemy’s attention, “you lose.”

*

When you arrive at work on Monday, it’s with a considerable level of anxiety. Things have definitely gotten more complicated. Jay is, after all, a New Japan performer, and as the liaison between New Japan and US promotions, that means you’re supposed to work with him. Even the idea of being in the same room with him makes you shake a little. You and David finally spent a night apart so that he wouldn’t have to get up early when you did, but you’d still been texting until you both fell asleep. Truthfully, Jay hadn’t been on your mind as long as you were with David but now you can’t avoid thinking about him.

What you have with David feels amazing but it’s also new and fragile, a tiny shoot rising up from the soil, still trying to grow and lay down roots at the same time. You want to protect it and you know that Jay wants to kill it off because no one embarrasses him the way the two of you have. You don’t know what he’s planning to do, you just know you have to be wary of it.

For the first part of the day, it’s just backstage people and the production team going through what’s needed for the day’s tapings. Talent will arrive in the afternoon, followed by a small audience. You make your notes on who needs to be where and making sure it lines up with what Tokyo tells you they’re expecting. Some of them have to fly to California to do shows there and you need to make sure the tapings happening in the next few days aren’t going to interfere with any of those plans.

“Did you get it out of your system?”

He pounces on you out of nowhere, crowding you against the wall, eyes incandescent with anger. It’s hours before any of the performers are supposed to be here, which makes it a perfect time for him to ambush you.

“Get what out of my system, Jay?” you gasp, trying to hide how much he’s scared you.

“Don’t be coy,” he hisses. “This little romantic excursion you decided to send yourself on.”

“I told you, I felt like I’d accomplished all I could in the job and so I decided to grab this new opportunity-”

“I know exactly what you did and not because you told me anything. I got your cute little note. Blocking me on social media and everything was an especially nice touch. After everything we’d been through, everything I’d done for you, you didn’t even have the guts to say any of that bullshit to my face.”

“Ok, I should have done that. I owed you that. I apologize and I hope it didn’t cause you any…”

You look into his eyes and just freeze. He’s so sickeningly beautiful and frightening at that moment that there’s nothing you can do, not appease him, not flatter him, not reject him. You were right when you said you needed to get away from him to get over him, you just didn’t expect that he’d refuse to give you the chance.

“Aren’t you cute with your little prepared business speech. ‘I’m so sorry, Jay, I hope you found another person to do my job because that’s all that was going on, just me being your secretary.’ How long have you been memorizing that for when you finally had to see me again?

“You’ve had your fun, your laughs at my expense, but it ends now.”

“How fucking dare you!” Now you’ve found your voice and your strength. “You think you get to order me around like I’m something you own? I don’t work for you anymore. My job is here now. My life is here now.”

Jay straightens up to his full height, regarding you with a smirk. “Your life? Is that what you’re calling him now?”

“I meant just… everything.”

“Aw, David must feel so happy thinking this is where it ends.”

“As far as you and I are concerned, it has ended.” You glare at him. “I love him.”

The soft laugh he gives you is utterly unnerving. “You love me. You’ve loved me for years. Nothing’s changed. You ran off here because you got it in your head that you could make yourself love him, because you wanted to get back at me for whatever it is you think I’ve done to you. And you couldn’t even be around me and convince yourself at the same time that you really want him.”

“You arrogant prick. What the hell do you know about what I want?”

He laughs a little and captures your face with one hand, pressing his lips close to your ear.

“I love how angry you get when you know I’m right. And I love having you trapped like this.”

“Trapped how? I’m going to walk away from you and it’s going to be like this never happened. I’m going to have fun imagining David wiping that condescending look off your face for a few weeks until I finally get to see him do it.”

“Do you seriously think anyone in New Japan is going to think twice about dumping him if I tell them that I won’t work with him?”

“Whatever. He’s doing fine here.”

“Oh yes, he’s doing so well in Impact, the company that’s riding a wave of popularity because they’re working with other, bigger companies. I’m sure they’d stand up for him against all of their partners. I’m sure he’s so much more important to them than being able to work with me or any other real stars.”

He chuckles a little, pressing his face against yours.

“That’s the funny thing about forbidden doors. When they close, they all close at once.”

“Oh, so you’re threatening to get him shut out of every wrestling company just because you’re annoyed he stole your assistant.”

“You sell yourself short. But if you want to put it that way, yes.”

“You don’t have the attention span. You’ll get distracted by someone else you think has wronged you by the end of the week.”

“If that’s how you want to approach this, go right ahead. If I were a betting man, I wouldn’t like your odds of being right but I already know you’re going to do what you want.”

He grips your head firmly and plants a hard kiss on your forehead before backing off and sauntering down the hall as if nothing’s happened.

You were right when you told David he should stay away from you. This is bad.

[drsilverfish]

https://twitter.com/mishacollins/status/1331800202252931073

Hi All,

Pressing record for posterity. 

Reminding folks to take a moment for a self welfare-check. If you’re feeling overwhelmed; eat, drink, rest, turn off social media for a bit. Take care of yourselves. This too shall pass (into queer television history). 

Read on for more on PR and Schrodinger’s Destiel.

Cock-up or conspiracy, ”rogue translator” or censorship, we can’t know, for certain. I highly doubt one person alone was responsible, either for inclusion or excision, in the chain which leads to approval for broadcast.

The sequence of events that resulted in Universe 1 N. America and Universe 2 Latin America may be obscure, but it’s still amazing that we have them. 

It’s amazing because Supernatural has always included metanarrative elements (elements which comment on the narrative structure itself). And this development is like The French Mistake writ large.   

Warner Channel broadcasts across Latin America; that version of the 15x18 narrative is out there. It was seen, it was witnessed. It cannot be spun as a “fan conspiracy”. 

It’s, sadly, likely, of course, that Dean’s, “Yo, a ti, Cas,” in the Latin American Warner Channel broadcast version will now be “fixed” in the DVD versions, to align with this narrative of a “rogue translator”. Who knows, it may appear as an extra “cut scene” - i.e. as SPN para-text (text adjacent, but excised from official canon) in those markets. 

What is happening now, is crisis management PR. Those four words, and their presence/ absence, are significantly impacting CW corporate image, as well as SPN public narrative reception, in a way which is causing backlash for the commerical property. So the Empty is sucking the Latin American version into black goo, in order to frame the North American version as The Truth.

“Dean was always too stunned in the moment to reply,” is, as a narrative beat, comprehensible, but as a narrative conclusion, queer-phobic. Whatever “The Truth” is, of how the Latin American dub version came to be, Dean’s “And I you, Cas,” makes sense in the story, which is why it’s there. Withholding it, maintains a desperate shred of ambiguity; heteronormativity clutched like a torn shirt against the storm water of previous narrative crescendo.    

We’ve mused that Chuck can be read as a stand-in for Corporate in S15. We should muse that The Empty can also be read that way. It was angry because things “got loud”, remember? In other words, because the queer subtext “got loud”.  

It’s deeply unfair that Misha gets pushed to the front to defend this, when he has been the most vocal LGBTQ+ ally amongst the cast. But, that’s why he’s being asked (obligated) to do it. The poor guy has over two thousand replies to his last tweet in this chain, as I write (Nov 26 2020). 

His offer to listen is, I believe, both genuine, from him, AND corporate using him as a PR human shield. Same as, I’ve no doubt, Berens fought to write 15x18, but the fact that he’s an out, gay, writer, also functions as a PR human shield, in terms of mitigating criticisms of the treatment of queer narrative elements at SPN’s end.

A satisfactory response isn’t going to be forthcoming on this, from TPTB.  

Because this is a tale about a queer subtext, and a requited queer love story, between Dean and Cas, which almost, almost, broke cover, spooked the corporate horses, and got shoved back in its box. 

Except it can’t be. 

It is not, at the end of the day, up to Warner, the CW, or the creatives who work on a story, to define the meaning of their work, from outside the text. And it never has been (which why I, very rarely, post about cast interpretations). 

It’s up to us. That’s why Becky was the hero to Chuck’s villain.  

A text only fully comes into being because it has meaning for its audience(s).

And, gods love Misha (and the PR folks breathing down his neck) but whether his Empty-suckage hits as “Bury Your Gays” or not, isn’t up to him to determine either, it’s up to queer audiences. Who, of course, don’t all speak with one voice, or experience.  

I know it’s painful for LGBTQ+ audiences to know we are (still) treated differently. 

I know it’s painful for LGBTQ+ audiences to receive, another (on-screen) tragic ending. 

I know it’s infuriating to be soothed with, “But there is a happy ending, really. It’s just off screen, for you to imagine.”      

The CW’s “Dare to Defy” is a marketing slogan. It sounds radical, because it’s designed to sound radical, for a youthful audience which believes in LGBTQ+ rights and diversity (for the most part). But, if there’s one thing television, as a medium, very, very, rarely is, it’s actually radical (particularly advertising-funded television). 

Allowing the Dean/ Cas love story to fully emerge (blinking into the light) from the subtext of a show steeped in On-the-Road, American, rebel-hero masculine mythology, free of Chuck, free of the Empty, undeniably queer to the GA (general audience) would have been actually radical. 

Which is why I never expected it.

15x20 is an attempt at hetero-normative foreclosure, with a side helping of tragic hero. 

Perhaps the most useful reading of Castiel’s Empty-suckage, given that S15 has been all about who controls the narrative, is a metanarrative one. 

Yes, it fits the, “Bury Your Gays” trope, but it’s also a metanarrative comment on the “Bury Your Gays”, trope. 

Those on the creative team who fought for it, like Berens, who wrote the 15x18 speech at the start of the season, knew that the cost of Castiel speaking his queer truth would, likely, be Empty-suckage. They knew the speech would be both moving and meaningful for many in SPN’s queer and ally audience, and that its subsequent erasure (note it was NOT promoted as a “coming out” speech in CW PR) would be equally hurtful. 

But in the fall-out, miraculously intensified by the existence of Universe 1 and Universe 2; a universe in which Dean is not allowed to reciprocate openly, and one in which he does, SPN’s queer subtext has achieved escape velocity into public discourse, inviting a broader audience to view the text “queerly”.

If you can stomach it, behold the PR fuckery, be kind to cast and crew online, tell your truth, and hold onto what you love about the story.  

Because, there is something radical inside Supernatural, roiling and coiling beneath, emerging from within a much more conventional narrative, finished off with a tasteless corporate bow; Castiel, queer angel of the Lord, who rebelled to remake Heaven and earth, inspired by the power of M/ M romantic love. And Dean Winchester, rebel, road-trip, suffering masculine romantic hero, who loved that celestial dork, truly, madly, deeply. 

This imperfect, often misogynist, gothic, masculinist road-trip melodrama, dared to dream of becoming an Epic of Gilgamesh for our times. 

PR BS be damned.  

[tricktster]

Is TST for the satanic temple

It is merely a happy happy happy coincidence, but don’t take that to mean that they don’t have my full-throated support and admiration.

Since you kids are on tumblr, I’m guessing a lot of you already know that The Satanic Temple (TST) is not, in fact, a group of people who worship Satan. For those of you who might (understandably) have TST confused with an an actual Satan-worshipping entity, rest assured - supporting TST requires no actual Satan worship - or anything worship, it’s a “non-theistic religion.” 

So, you might be wondering, what’s the point of a purported Satanic church that explicitly does not believe in, nor worship, Satan? 

Great rhetorical question! Thank you for the invitation to geek out! In this essay I will explain why The Satanic Temple is an incredibly clever maneuver to protect the individual rights and liberties of people in the United States of America, and why you should all, regardless of religious belief, stan them. I am sorry! This is going to be a long one! I’m going to use a page break!

(Apologies if anything I say here is really basic obvious stuff that you already know. I will probably cover some familiar ground, but I didn’t get taught about any of this in high school beyond a few throwaway paragraphs in a textbook, so I’m writing with an audience of ‘me in high school’ in mind.)

As you know, the founding fathers did some pretty wild shit when they decided on what the United States of America was going to look like, and among the wildest was the decision that America would not have a state religion. I cannot express to you guys how significant this decision was in shaping American culture... soooo I won’t try because it’s beside the point and this is already going to be way too long. All you really need to take away is the following:

The U.S. constitution provides both that religion and government are to be kept separate, and that the free exercise of religion is a fundamental individual right, and those portions of the constitution have pissed a lot of people off over the last 244 years.

So there’s actually three parts of the bill of rights that are in play here. In the First Amendment, we have the Establishment Clause, and the Free Exercise Clause:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion [The Establishment Clause], or prohibiting the free exercise thereof [The Free Exercise Clause]; or abridging the freedom of speech [...]”

These clauses were the only part of the Constitution that touched on religion until the 14th amendment was ratified in 1868. For those of you who are curious about the timing of a new amendment in 1869 and are as bad with significant dates as I am, the Civil War ended in 1865, and, as such, it’s worth noting that the purpose of the 14th Amendment was to guarantee equal civil and legal rights to Black people. I am not the first person to note that uh, we are clearly still working on that.

Anyway, for our purposes, the pertinent part of the 14th amendment is the Equal Protection Clause:

“No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

Okay, very broadly, here’s what each clause actually does:

The Establishment Clause says that the US government cannot sponsor any religion, or involve itself in religion to the benefit of one religion over another. 

The Free Exercise clause says that the US government cannot stop someone from holding a religious belief (or force them to adhere to another religious belief)

The Equal Protection Clause prohibits discrimination on the basis of religious belief

These all look pretty great on paper, but in practice, enforcing them has been wildly hit or miss. I’m going to discuss why, so I’ll say up front that none of this should not be construed as an attack on Christianity. Religious faith is intensely personal, and I want to emphasize that I am in no way advocating for adherents to the Christian faith to be unable to practice that faith. I am a sincere advocate for everyone to be able to freely practice their own religious beliefs (or lack thereof), and that’s exactly what’s at issue here - when one religion is positioned above all others, anyone who does not believe in that particular religion is impacted detrimentally.

So with that caveat in place, it’s important to recognize the following: the United States is, and has always been, a majority Christian nation. 65% of Americans identified as Christian in 2019, which is a historic low. Even ten years back, it was closer to 85%. In accordance with the demographics of the US, Christianity is, if anything, over-represented in US government. 85.4% of US congressmen identify as Christian. 82 out of the 100 senators identify as Christian (I’m not counting members of congress or the senate who identify as members of the Church of Latter Day Saints in those numbers). Furthermore, every single president has identified themselves as Christian - the spiciest America has gotten in re: the religious beliefs of a POTUS was JFK, who was, you know, Catholic.

This is important, because it directly impacts how we interpret what “separation of church and state,” “free exercise of religion,” and “nondiscrimination on the basis of faith” actually mean. When a country is predominantly comprised of people who share the same faith, that faith becomes part of the shared cultural concept of national identity: even though the US is, in practice, relatively diverse in terms of ethnicities and religious faiths (as far as countries go), if you ask someone on the street to imagine an American, they are probably going to imagine a white dude who loves Flag and also Jesus. That national identity is reflected in the country’s chosen representatives, and in return, in the legislation passed by those representatives and the behavior expressly condoned by the government as a whole. The end result of all of this is that in the United States of America, Christianity and the exercise of government frequently intersect.

Take the late forties and early fifties. WWII is over, and two global superpowers have emerged that are at diametrical positions; there’s our old capitalist pal the US in one corner, and in the other, the godless, socialist menace of the USSR. I’m being silly and hyperbolic here, but not about the godless bit: the USSR was officially an athiest state, and the government forcibly converted its citizens to atheism. So, the US squints at this and swings hard in the opposite direction; this is a Christian nation, we are sticking “under god” in the pledge of allegiance, we are putting Ten Commandment sculptures in front of our courthouses, we are mandating prayer in school, and if you have an issue with any of that, you are not a patriotic American.

Some of that stuff from the 50s still exists today (“under god” is still kicking around), but a lot more of it is essentially outlawed thanks to the branch of government that I haven’t mentioned yet, the federal judiciary. How this played out was essentially that someone would be impacted by state-sponsored Christianity, they would sue, and their case would eventually be appealed up to the level of the Supreme Court, who would look at the Constitution, admit that it’s pretty unequivocal about the whole separation of church and state thing, and bar the state sponsored religious practice at issue, or at the very least ensure that the state was not sponsoring one faith to the exclusion of others. So, to return to our ten commandments in front of the courthouse or nativity scene outside of a government building; (I’m really simplifying things here but this is the gist) the court has repeatedly decided, those are fine, as long as you give fair play to any other religion that wants to erect their own religious display there too. It’s either that all religions have an equal opportunity to be represented, or no religion does.

I know, this is supposed to be about why The Satanic Temple is cool. We’re getting there.

Let’s jump ahead to the early 2000s. Bush Jr. is president, thanks in no small part to massive evangelical Christian support, and those evangelical Christians have some demands: they want schools to teach creationism, they’re gunning directly for reproductive rights, and they have had enough of this whole gay nonsense. A lot of legislation gets passed during the Bush era that gives the Evangelical base what they want, and among those big evangelical wins was on teaching intelligent design in schools. This didn’t happen everywhere, but some states basically said that intelligent design could be taught alongside evolution in public school science classes, and that evolution and intelligent design had to be portayed as equally valid theories.

Obviously, a lot people were upset about this, because... well, it’s science class. Among the people who thought this whole thing was bullshit was a guy named Bobby Henderson, who wrote an open letter to the Kansas Board of Education in 2005. Referencing the Supreme Court decisions I discussed earlier (either all religious beliefs get equal play or none of them do), Bobby demanded that along with evolution and intelligent design, Kansas schools devote equal time to teaching the creation story of his religious faith, and if any of this is sounding familiar, that’s because Bobby described his religious faith as “Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.”

The memetic potential of this argument was basically designed for the internet era, and it wasn’t too long before purported adherents to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was filing lawsuits that challenged all sorts of government practices that obviously skewed Christian. They were making classic reductio ad absurdum arguments; if it was ridiculous that the government should promote the message of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a given sphere, it was equally ridiculous that the government should promote the message of other religious faiths in that same sphere.

The whole pastafarian movement had one major weakness, however - it was expressly, deliberately silly. Nobody could mistake a Flying Spaghetti Monster argument to be made in good faith, and the courts used this to basically ignore FSM challenges that would otherwise be valid. Here’s what the Nebraska federal district court decided in the big Flying Spaghetti Monster case, Cavanaugh v. Bartlet:

“The Court finds that FSMism is not a ‘religion’ within the meaning of the relevant federal statutes and constitutional jurisprudence. It is, rather, a parody, intended to advance an argument about science, the evolution of life, and the place of religion in public education. Those are important issues, and FSMism contains a serious argument, but that does not mean that the trappings of the satire used to make that argument are entitled to protection as a ‘religion.’”

That’s the Pastafarian problem in a nutshell. They had great points, but they weren’t actually a religion, and that left the courts free to disregard their arguments by saying that they lacked standing. “Standing” is legalese for the concept of who is able to bring a lawsuit based on a particular act or law. This sounds esoteric, but it makes logical sense: If your neighbor gets hit by an ice cream truck, is injured, and is now hundreds of thousands of dollars in the hole for medical debt, he has standing to sue the ice cream truck driver. He suffered an injury that was caused by the ice cream truck driver, and the court has the ability to direct the ice cream truck driver to pay for his medical bills and pain and suffering etc. If you, on the other hand, decide to sue the ice cream truck driver because they ran over your neighbor, well, did you actually get injured? Would it being about any sort of justice if the ice cream truck driver had to pay you money? If the answer is no and you try to sue anyway, the court’s going to kick that lawsuit out.

Constitutional challenges often die because the person suing doesn’t have standing to bring the case. Remember how I mentioned earlier that “one nation under god” is still in the Pledge of Allegiance? A case about that actually got all the way to the Supreme Court, before it was tossed out for lack of standing - the problem was that a student’s father had brought the lawsuit, instead of the student herself. Likewise, the Flying Spaghetti Monster cases usually went nowhere because the courts would say “okay, you’re claiming that this law is trampling on your right to practice your chosen religion, but your religion is deliberately ludicrous. Your holy book was published in 2006 and heavily features a beer volcano. You don’t actually believe in any of this, so you haven’t actually suffered the harm that you’re claiming this legislation caused.”

So, uh, how the hell does an athiest challenge the constitutionality of laws like the FSM movement tried to without just getting tossed out for lack of sincerity?

Okay. Okay. We’re finally here. Let’s talk about The Satanic Temple.

In 2013, after witnessing how the FSM movement failed to accomplish meaningful change, Lucien Greaves realized that even though the basic concept of what FSM was trying to accomplish was solid, the issue was in its execution. If you wanted to challenge laws that unconstitutionally favored Christianity, you couldn’t be joking around about your fake religion; you had to play it absolutely straight.

What Greaves came up with is incredibly clever. He set about constructing a new religion for the purpose of using the FSM playbook without falling into the same judicial pitfalls. He made sure that the new religion would constitute an actual belief system in the eyes of the law, which involved identifying the mission and core articulable tenents of the religion. I’m quoting them both below because they’re cool as hell:

The Mission of The Satanic Temple

“The mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy among all people, reject tyrannical authority, advocate practical common sense, oppose injustice, and undertake noble pursuits.

The Satanic Temple has publicly confronted hate groups, fought for the abolition of corporal punishment in public schools, applied for equal representation when religious installations are placed on public property, provided religious exemption and legal protection against laws that unscientifically restrict women's reproductive autonomy, exposed harmful pseudo-scientific practitioners in mental health care, organized clubs alongside other religious after-school clubs in schools besieged by proselytizing organizations, and engaged in other advocacy in accordance with our tenets.”

The Seven Tenets of The Satanic Temple

1. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

2. The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

3. One's body is inviolable, subject to one's own will alone.

4. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

5. Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

6. People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

7. Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

Tenets aside, though, this next bit is what just delights me to my core with how crafty it is: Instead of making up his own religious text and history, he went directly to the Bible and said (I’m paraphrasing) “the historical foundation of The Satanic Temple is the exact same as the historical foundation of Christianity. We share the same holy book, and our faiths are grounded in the same tradition. Here’s the only difference: We believe with all sincerity that the character in that book who said ‘hey, try the apple, the pursuit of knowledge is worth rebelling against authority for’ is actually the good guy in the story, and although we are not a theistic organization, it is our sincere religious belief to comport ourselves in the manner espoused by the literary character Satan.”

Holy shit, guys. Holy shit, that is smart. He set up his religion so that you couldn’t attack it for being fake without also attacking Christianity for being fake! Simultaneously, he designed a religion that would reliably produce the perfect reductio ad absurdum argument- you want to display your ten commandment statue on public land? Okay, chill, but per the Constitution, we get equal play, so if you want those ten commandments, you’d better be cool with them sitting right next to our 3000 lb bronze statue of children gazing adoringly up at Baphomet:

Oh, wait, you don’t want to have that statue on government property? Cool. Totally fine. Just take your ten commandments slabs away too, and we’ll call it a truce.

The Satanic Temple exists to protect individual constitutional rights. Regardless of your own religious sentiment, it’s hopefully easy enough to see how incredibly shitty it would be to have your elected government promote religious beliefs that you do not share, to have religious sentiments that you find abhorrent expressly condoned by the government, or to have your own rights of expression and against discrimination constrained by a government that expressly santions only the religious beliefs of the majority, in spite of the concepts expressed in the United States Constitution. The only way to challenge an unconstitutional law is to sue, and it takes a lot of time, effort, and most of all resources to see a constitutional lawsuit through. Organized religion and government entities have a much easier time defending those cases than an individual does in suing them; by supporting The Satanic Temple, you’re directly evening the odds.

P.S. I know I talk a big game about how cleverly The Satanic Temple was designed, but you know how you can tell that it’s actually brilliant? The IRS granted it tax exempt status as a religious entity in 2019. Yup. Even with the IRS directly under the thumb of Donald J. Trump, a man desperate to maintain evangelical support, the IRS finally had to concede that they could not find any reason why The Satanic Temple shouldn’t be treated the exact same way as any other church. Angry that a Satanic entity doesn’t have to pay taxes on its income? Well, buddy, get ready to learn what megachurches get away with.

[botaniia]

Chapter 128 was packed with details, but the final two pages of the chapter are some of the most important in the whole series to me because they tie up a loose end that’s been there for quite some time in just two small pages.

The warriors’ morality has been a long-discussed topic, but out of RBA I think Bertholdt’s is the most interesting, simply because he’s been discussed so little and the reader actually has to extrapolate to explore him instead of getting it all spoonfed to them. There was no reason for the story to discuss him because Reiner was still alive and he was used to explore RBA’s reasoning and history. And because it was shown through Reiner so well, I’d long given up on the narrative ever revisiting Bertholdt again.

But even if it makes sense, that doesn’t leave me satisfied. I am all for seeing Reiner’s (and Annie’s) growth, but that’s only possible because they are still alive and active players in the story. Readers get constant new info on them and see how their actions and perspective have changed, and get the chance to recontextualise them. And for many people, that allows them to sympathise with them.

The same can’t be said about Bertholdt.

To plenty of people, he’s the previous holder of the colossal titan, Reiner’s shadow, and ultimately the guy who made peace with the fact that he’d kill lots and lots of former allies and Survey Corps alike before he was punished with a gruesome karmic death. He not only got what people believed was due, but readers were also never again challenged to rethink their position on him like they were with Reiner and Annie. It was easy to form an opinion on him in Return to Shiganshina and never have to adjust that opinion as new info came. 

There was no need to see how terrible his life was before he died, or how he was in the same boat as Reiner, or to speculate what he’d have done were he alive in the current arc because it simply wasn’t raised to the audience. So he remained despicable, and it was a good thing he was dead.

And that stance is understandable. Because no matter how good a motive someone has, murder is murder, and what happened to Shiganshina, Trost, Marco, the SC, and Armin was still murder no matter how terrible Marley was to these child soldiers. I reject the idea that their strong alleviating circumstances change nothing, but I understand why people are unable to find compassion for him after he said he was okay with killing them all on his own volition (which I still think was a coping mechanism to deal with how little he was in control of his life at that point and not a factual statement, but that’s a discussion for another day).

In short: a story that so powerfully made many people do a complete 180 on what they thought of Reiner, someone they previously wanted to see die a violent death, doesn’t at all invite the reader to consider the same for Bertholdt, and it felt missing.

That is until these two pages show up and change everything. 

See, the thing I said about murder applies to anyone. Bertholdt’s death was still murder, no matter how you spin it. A necessary murder where the SC had no other choice, but still murder. But emotionally, it was never framed that way. We don’t really see the 104th’s opinion on RBA, but I can’t imagine they felt all too much compassion for Bertholdt. 

Because he had it coming. 

Because he would’ve murdered them had they not murdered him. 

Because he betrayed them like the heartless bastard they learned he was.

Because he was all talk about no one wanting to do what he did, but in the end he still carried through with it.

Because it’s easier to feel no guilt over killing someone when you decide that he was never worthy of your compassion in the first place.

He died without a shred of humanity. The people who would mourn him didn’t know if he was truly dead and the people who knew he was dead didn’t want to mourn him.

That’s kinda it for him. Suddenly, radio silence. Reiner’s depression largely stems from losing him, but he’s never actually mentioned. Porco gets angry learning about his death at Liberio and charges into combat, and that’s about the only on-panel reaction we see to his death.

And then, four years later, the 104th suddenly land themselves in a situation where they are the traitors. Two of their comrades stand between them and their goal, and their lives are directly threatened by them unless they choose to act right now. 

“You betrayed us, didn’t you?”

“Weren’t we gonna reclaim the land and eat meat together?”

“You traitors! Why? Aren’t we comrades?”

Hey, aren’t those words Connie and Armin have heard somewhere before?

They are indeed their comrades. And Connie pulls the trigger twice.

It’s emotional. It’s painful. It doesn’t feel right, Connie doesn’t want to do it, and he knows he’ll have trouble looking himself in the mirror from the moment he shoots Daz. He’s the first one of the 104th to gain insight into how terrible it is to have to harm friends for a goal he truly believes is worth fighting for. 

But he did it anyway because he had to. And that’s the moment where he understands, crystal clear, something he has been struggling for four years to understand: how could Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie do something so selfish, so gruesome to their comrades? How could they do this to him?

How could Connie and Armin do this to Daz and Samuel?

I don’t wish what Connie and Armin are currently feeling upon them in any way, just like I didn’t wish it upon RBA when they were experiencing it. But it’s undeniable that they currently have an understanding unlike any other of what a dreadful situation their enemies had been in when they infiltrated Paradis. This may even help them understand the position Eren is currently in.

Killing a former friend who turned enemy out of necessity is one thing. Learning his motives can change one’s perception of him, but doesn’t necessarily change the animosity still felt for him. But to live the exact experience he lived and gain an emotional understanding that wasn’t there before?

It’s hard not to relate to an experience you now understand.

So what’s that loose end I was talking about? 

Back in Clash of Titans, Bertholdt begged for someone to find them. I interpret this as being about understanding how hopeless their situation was from the start, seeing the good through the overwhelming abundance of terrible, wanting to be understood but knowing it wasn’t possible.

Ymir ended up being the person to respond to that call, leading to her going back to Marley with them to face certain death in order to spare them. Back then, she was the only one who could find them, but she never quite gave the type of understanding he was looking for. He wronged the Paradisian Eldians, it was them he needed to reach.

Even though it’s long after his death, Connie remembering his words in the situation he did is the first time that someone actually did see, did live his perspective while explicitly linking it back to him. Someone finally understands the pain they went through, and Isayama made a conscious effort to make readers think about that fact by showing that one panel of Bertholdt breaking down all those years ago. It’s no longer implied by extrapolation, it’s explicitly shown, the reader has to think about it.

It’s doesn’t look like much, but that is the exact type of closure I’ve wanted to cap off his story. 

Someone whom he didn’t want to harm but harmed anyway finally understands how human his situation was.

There wasn’t actually a heartless bastard, just a conflicted one who made his choice. Just like they did.

Someone finally found him.

[silver-wield]

Cloti Resolution Analysis

So I was sent an ask about analysing the promise scene between Cloud and Tifa, and I completely went to another plane of existence and did the Resolution instead. Oh well, enjoy the breakdown and I’ll get to bby Tifa and Cloud another time.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a VERY long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Ok, recapping for anyone who hasn't seen this yet.

We begin with Cloud waking, having heard someone leaving the house. He checks, it's not Barret, so he goes out to investigate and spies Tifa staring at the night sky.

Now from this there's actually an unmentioned possibility Cloud decides Tifa doesn't want company and leaves. This obviously doesn't happen because he's developed his character to the point where he'd put himself out for someone else and find out what's wrong. The point I’m making is that Cloud is that guy who’d say “Not interested” and leave, but because he cares about Tifa, he stays. 

Right away we get hints of concern on his face. Obviously, with everything they just went through and all the people they lost he's expecting something along those lines when he asks if she can't sleep. The head tilt that goes with this has echoes of chapter 3 when he invites Tifa to share her worries, only this time she's got her back to him so can't see it.

Tifa, for her part, isn't very forthcoming. She's quite closed off, almost unwilling to open up and talk. She's probably come out because – as she said – she can't sleep and didn't actually intend for Cloud to follow. She apologises for waking him. There was no intent on her part to force a confidence between them. We can't even see her eyes until she replies, which is intentional on the framing to further express her being closed off. Remember, eye contact matters and a lack of eye contact with the audience means she's hiding from us too.

Damn it, she's so clearly cut up but trying to hold it together here it breaks my heart! I'm trying to figure out if her eyes are already swollen from repressing the urge to cry or if it's my imagination. Either way, she's distracted. She's not focused on Cloud or the conversation that much. A distant, polite answer from her is likely meant to hint she's not up for a chat, which is why I love that Cloud doesn't leave. She needs comforting and he's aware of that.

Demoralised tone of voice. Keeps her back to him. Head bowed. She's totally in her own head at this point and having woken Cloud up is just another black mark. She wanted to be alone and wallow, but she can't even do that right. So, when Cloud brushes it off and even goes so far as to make a light-hearted joke – yes him saying it's a SOLDIER thing isn't about him drawing attention to the fact he's succeeded with that part of their promise, he's capable enough to protect her – he's saying it to lower her guard, and that's why she laughs. It's the opening he needs to encourage her to talk so he can find out what's wrong.

Ah, the moment people think this scene is all about Aerith. Excuse me while I roll my eyes.

Now, remember, in the previous glimpse of her we saw she had her head bowed. She's not looking at the stars anymore like she would when recalling her and Cloud's promise. She's looking down at the flowers. The same type of flower that Cloud gave her and she put on the counter in Seventh Heaven. This is why she brings up Aerith because she's the flower seller.

We're shown her feet at this point because she's turning. Cloud's little joke has opened her up enough that she believes she can face him. She can confide in him. She asks about the flower not because she's all about Aerith, but because the flower was in Seventh Heaven: her home. And what is the reason she's out there in the first place? Why can't she sleep? Because she just saw everything she holds dear crushed, literally. She watched Biggs and Jessie die – ok we know better but she doesn't. She let Aerith get kidnapped by Shinra and almost got Marlene killed too – yes, she's definitely the type to blame herself for this too. She's lost friends – who knows how many? There's death and fire and it's all because of Shinra, again.

Ah the other moment people believe makes this all about Aerith. That isn't a “I got caught with another woman” look of guilt. That's an “I lied to you,” guilty look because, if you remember, back when Cloud gave Tifa the flower she said, “What's up with you, buying flowers?” and he said, “A guy can change,” making her believe he'd purposely sought out Aerith to buy a flower for Tifa. Obviously, he doesn't want to contradict himself while she's in a heightened state, so he's all “uhhh.” That's an “I don't know what to say so this doesn't hurt her,” look.

Tifa awkwardly laughs it off. Poor thing, her misconception about Cloud's thoughtfulness is shattered without him having to say a word. Putting a brave face on it, but she's disappointed. And that's not because she thinks she's “lost” to Aerith, but she thought something of Cloud that wasn't right. She thought their relationship had moved on more at that point, which further supports the subsequent intimate moments between them. Now, she's wondering if anything she knew is right.

And that is clear disappointment that he didn't actually do it on his own initiative. Regret hits hard when it comes, right, Cloud?

It goes on with Tifa explaining she looked up the meaning of the flower – now we don't know when, but it's safe to assume it's around the time of the reactor 5 mission when Cloud goes missing. She likely got back to Seventh Heaven, spotted the flower, linked its importance to Cloud and then looked up the meaning. When she saw it symbolised reunion, she did everything she could to keep it alive as a symbol of hope they'd meet again. They'd be reunited. It isn't symbolising anything to do with Aerith. The reason she even brings it up is because of where they are. It's the location that prompts the association.

Now, remember, Tifa has lived through a massive tragedy once before. She literally lost everyone in Nibelheim. It's stated in other media that Shinra rounded up survivors and gave them to Hojo – they became numbered experiments or died. Tifa is the only survivor and she only made it out because her teacher, Zangan, found her. It's also implied that anyone else from Nibelheim was tracked down and killed to silence them after Shinra remade the town – so on the off chance that Tifa went to Midgar to find people she knew, she wouldn't find any in the town and when she asked after Cloud at Shinra she was told he went missing, which explains why she says she's so glad to have Cloud back.

When she says the flower is dead and buried, she's relating it not to her relationship with Cloud – I mean he is literally ten feet in front of her listening to her and offering a shoulder to cry on. No, she's relating the flower to the location. She's talking about her home. Where before she linked it to reuniting with Cloud, once she learned about the danger to sector 7 she linked the flower to reuniting with the people most dear to her there. These are people she's known for five years. She's not a callous, unfeeling bitch, who only focuses on herself and some dude she's just got back in touch with. It's clear from NPC dialogue while you're running around that Tifa is very much loved and respected – and crushed on – in the slum. The people love her and she loves them. She wanted them to be safe more than anything. Her entire arc getting back to the sector is filled with panic. Her focus is her home and the hope she finds it and the people safe.

So, now she's saying that hope she clung to, like the flower, is dead.

And there it is, the brave smile that falters. She's trying so hard to not burden anyone because – as Marle says later on – crying is pointless. Remember, Marle is the one who looked after Tifa, which means Marle's mindset is the one Tifa's been exposed to from 15 to 20. Remember, Tifa is only 20 years old. She's not some grizzled warrior, she's a young girl who had to watch her father die, her town get burned to the ground and be left alone. The only survivor. Until Cloud. Marle has taught her it's pointless to cry; Avalanche and everyone in it has told her she needs to be tough and hard and unfeeling if they want to succeed. But, Tifa doesn't want anyone to die. Not her friends or her enemies. She's not got that hard core, no matter how much she acts cool and detached.

And this is the point that Cloud is likely hearing about his home for the first time. We know he was there, but it's one of those memories he's shut out. The reminder is one of the few times he doesn't get a flash of pain, either. That soft exhale of surprise, the eyes widening just a touch. Cloud hadn't thought to relate his past to this event, and likely hadn't related it to Tifa, either. He's shut it out, so expected her to, as well. This is a musing expression. He's thinking about what she just said. It hits him this is where her emotions are focused. She's in the past, and that gives him the chance to think about the past. This is what opens him up to needing comfort just as much as she does, because he's not processed his grief either. They're both stuck in that place where they weren't allowed to mourn the people they loved and all they've lost.

Then we're treated to a reminder of the physical distance between them in this scene – which has been a theme between them since the start. There's physical distance, that closes at times, then widens again, highlighting how they're struggling to find their way back to each other for various reasons. Cloud because he can't fully relate to his feelings for her and Tifa because she's too afraid of losing him to truly open up.

And then Tifa takes those few steps – that seemed to take forever – to meet him. She's looking for comfort from the Cloud she knew. The real Cloud. His expression here is surprise because, well, Tifa's just not like that, remember? She's reserved and self-contained. He wasn't expecting her to do this. He's once again confronted with a woman being forward. Only, it's different this time because it's Tifa and he knows and trusts her and has all these complicated feelings he can't define. He knows part of him – the 14 year old who wants his crush to notice him – is ok with this. It's what he wants. That's why he doesn't move. He wants to offer her comfort, be the strong capable SOLDIER he thought she wanted.

Oh, but look, the dawning realisation he's just as upset as she is. His hard expression wavers, just for a moment, and he looks cut up. He doesn't know if he can be the strong SOLDIER right now because, just as she's processing grief, he is too.

Hearing her sob, really sob, is hard for Cloud to take. Just like in the pillar when Jessie said, “Tifa's crying,” and Cloud lost his cool for a moment and felt like a failure. He couldn't prevent any of it. He let her down. Listening to her cry tugs at the latent feelings he has for her, but he's still so wrapped up in that fake persona of what he thinks he should be that he doesn't know what to offer her in comfort. You can hear a couple of attempts at speech, but ultimately he doesn't say anything.

I wasn't gonna screen this bit, but what the hell.

You can see the hesitation in his movements. He doesn't know if he should hug her. Tifa's hand isn't quite touching Cloud as it moves from his side to his shoulder, but then when he pulls her in close there's full contact between them with no space. I mean, he's holding her tight.

After the pan away to the stream – which is likely a nod to the lifestream scene in the OG – we're back with them and Tifa's calmed down somewhat.

Cloud's distracted. We can only guess what he's thinking about, but considering the conversation they just had it's probably a blank with vague unsettled grief about his past that he can't grab hold of. He knows he can relate with Tifa at that moment. He's hugging her so tight he hurts her. He's hugging so tight because he needs comfort from her just as she does from him. He lost people too. He's so in his own head that he doesn't quite hear her say his name at first, and then I speculate he expected to hear something else besides, “you're hurting me,” if that very soft “hmm?” is anything to go by. His head was in a place where the outcome of their moment was different. Hurt/comfort is a thing after all.

And then there's the “oh shit, I can't even comfort her properly” moment. He's dismayed he hurt her when he was supposed to be helping. That boy with a crush is mortified and the grown ass man isn't much better. He's ruined the intimacy and lack of emotional distance by failing. Again.

But that doesn't mean he won't linger until the last possible second before stepping back again. The downturned mouth, frown and concern are clear. He doesn't think he did very much at all for her. Does he feel guilty about hurting her, not being the man she deserves? Possibly. He definitely looks regretful. Likely thinking what he could've done better. He wasn't much help at all to her.

“It's stupid. I know that crying's a waste of time.”

Ah, here's what he can do for her. His physical comfort missed the mark, but this is something he can do. He can reassure her. Get back some of that emotional closeness between them. And it succeeds. Tifa's gratitude is clear in her tearful smile and heartfelt thank you.

Conclusion.

How romantic is this scene? I hear no one asking cause you all made up your minds well before I even started. Well, from my pov, I'd say it's definitely up there, although it's very heavily rooted in hurt/comfort and relying on their childhood closeness to further their intimacy. But, that's ok because plenty of great couples begin like this and there's usually a moment like this within Final Fantasy narratives.

Rinoa/Squall's Ragnarok scene? There was no kissing in that either, but the emotional intimacy was clear. And Squall is just as big a butthead as Cloud tbf.

Tidus/Yuna laughing scene? Hahaha, I bet you thought I'd mention the lake instead? Well, no because that is clearly intimacy on a different level to this. We're at the developing intimacy stage, and that stage in 10 was them confiding in each other and laughing together.

This is Cloud/Tifa sharing their grief and comforting each other. The scenes parallel. Whether or not this means it's canon is up to you to decide, but combined with all the compilation evidence – yeah, I've heard the latest argument that compilation doesn't count anymore and until it's confirmed by Square I'm not listening – it does heavily suggest that Tifa and Cloud's relationship will continue along this route to the endgame where they confirm their feelings for each other under the Highwind.

[lopithecusfanfiction]

We All Wear Masks Sometimes

Author: Lopithecus Pairing: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy Rating: General Audiences Word Count: 1674 Alternate: AO3 Summary: Kakashi comforts Gai after Lee gets injured during the Chunin exams Warnings: N/A Author's Note: This is for day 6 of KakaGai Week 2020 ( @kkgweek ).  I have a feeling a lot of the fics/art that are going to use this prompt are going to be Kakashi focused. So, I decided to do the opposite. This is set just after the preliminary round during the Chunin Exams. Also, it’s not made explicitly clear that Kakashi and Gai are together, but it is implied that they are. Please enjoy! Prompt: Day 6 - Mask

Gai has a habit of pretending to be okay for everyone else's sake even if he's not. He'll smile and laugh, say something with poetic prose, and then throw out a thumbs-up with a hand on his hip. Sure, on good days he actually is like that, Gai's personality having been molded very carefully and lovingly by his father, but Gai's father could only do so much. Kakashi knows this.

Sometimes Kakashi thinks he's the only one to know this about Gai.

On days that are hard, the really bad days that all shinobi get no matter how cheerful and optimistic one can be, Gai amplifies the theatrics to one hundred. No one really notices, no one besides Kakashi, because Gai never lets anyone get close enough to him to show his real personality. Sure, the man is close to his friends, closer still to his students, but he can't act weak around them. He can't let his friends' teasing bother him and he has to be the perfect role model for his students.

With Kakashi, it's different.

Maybe that is what happens when you grow up fighting a war together and lose everyone you love? You tend to latch onto the one that never left. You hold onto them like they are your lifeline and if that line were to ever get cut then you would drown.

Or maybe Kakashi is just being overly dramatic and it has nothing to do with that. Maybe it's just a testament of how long they have been friends that allows the two to be open with each other and no one else. Kakashi has never been great at interpreting attachments and he's the last person to try to make it into a healthy conclusion in his mind.

He's always been a little bit codependent on the people he's cared about.

Gai especially. 

Maybe that's why, before he goes to fetch Sasuke from the hospital to begin his training, he sets out trying to find Gai. He checks the training grounds first and finds Tenten and Neji there. Tenten is helping Neji train but Gai is nowhere in sight. Not surprising, considering where Lee is currently and in hindsight, Kakashi probably should have checked there first.

Still, just so he doesn't make a wasted trip to the hospital, he steps out of the bushes and makes his presence known to the Genin. "Yo."

They both turn to him. It's the first time Kakashi has actually interacted with Gai's students in the year that he's had them. It's shocking, really, considering how much Gai loves to challenge him. Although, Gai hadn't interacted with Kakashi's students until the beginning of the Chunin Exams either. It almost makes him want to laugh and he's kind of sorry he missed that introduction. He would have loved to have seen the little brats' faces at meeting Maito Gai.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Tenten greets him eagerly, pink coloring her cheeks, while Neji doesn't acknowledge him at all. He's not surprised they know his name. Maybe the Hyūga is mad at him for stopping him from killing that Hinata girl?

"Is Gai at the hospital?" he asks, getting straight to the point. He doesn't have all day. Sasuke is waiting for him.

"Oh, yeah! You just missed him," Tenten tells him, her smile disappearing. "He's visiting Lee but said he'd be back soon if you want to wait."

It's just like Gai to divide up his time between his students despite his overwhelming worry about Lee. Kakashi waves the invitation off. "I'll go see him there. Thanks."

Tenten slumps in disappointment and Neji crosses his arms, turning away. He waves goodbye at them anyway. He doesn't need them complaining to Gai about his behavior and then Gai giving Kakashi a huge speech about treating young Genins with more respect.

He doesn't go into the hospital once he's there. He'll be back to get Sasuke and going into the building one time is one too many in Kakashi's mind. So, he waits outside, flaring his chakra a little to let Gai know he's there. He doesn't expect Gai to come out and greet him right away and about five minutes later, he is exiting the building with a wide smile.

Kakashi can already tell it's fake.

"Kakashi! My dearest Rival, what do I owe this pleasure?" Gai strolls up to him, arms out in a gesture to hug Kakashi. Kakashi lets him, wrapping his own arms around Gai's solid frame. He has a feeling Gai needs this comfort right now.

When they separate, Kakashi gestures with his head. "Take a walk with me."

Gai's smile twitches, threatening to fall but Gai has always been a master at forcing himself to smile through everything. It stays steady on his face. "Very well."

They walk in silence and they eventually make it to outside a hot spring. Kakashi leans down on the railing of a bridge, staring at the water beneath them. It reminds him that Naruto is probably searching for him this very second to train him and a pang of guilt clutches at Kakashi's chest. He does wish he could train both him and Sasuke. They both have very different skill sets, however, and if Sasuke is going to be going up against that sand jutsu, then Kakashi needs to focus on Sasuke at the moment. He'll have to get someone else to train Naruto and, although the thought to ask Gai to do it does cross his mind, Gai has too much on his plate right now. Plus, Naruto is going up against Neji. It might be a bit of a conflict of interest.

So, instead, he settles on someone else. "Is Ebisu available?"

Gai walks up beside him and leans his arms down onto the railing, much like how Kakashi is right now. "I believe so, yes. Why?"

"I was thinking of asking him to train Naruto before the final competitions in the Chunin Exams," he says.

Gai looks out into the water. "I think that would be a great idea. Ebisu is very capable. I can ask him if you want?"

Kakashi shakes his head. "Just have him meet me at the hospital. I have to pick up Sasuke."

Gai perks up at that. "Has Sasuke fully recovered?"

Kakashi picks his words carefully, thinking about Lee. "More or less."

Gai narrows his eyes at him, suspicion playing on his face. "You don't have to be gentle with me."

"And you don't need to pretend with me." Gai stares at him and Kakashi pokes him in the cheek. "Let yourself feel things."

Gai scoffs, goodnaturedly. "Says the man who is the master at suppressed emotions."

"I think we both are pretty good experts at it, wouldn't you say Gai-kun?" Gai scowls at the honorific. It's not very often Kakashi uses it. It's mostly to try and lighten the mood a bit. It doesn't seem to work. "Gai, what I said during the preliminaries about the gates…" He trails off, biting his bottom lip. He sighs and wonders if he sounds a bit hypocritical. He’s never been a fan of the gates for obvious reasons, after all. "I meant what I said afterward. I was out of line."

Gai shakes his head. "No." Kakashi furrows his brows in confusion. "You were right. I should have never taught Lee it. He's too young."

Kakashi frowns and reaches up to place a comforting hand on Gai's back. "You were even younger when your father started teaching you how to open the gates."

Gai huffs and pulls away from Kakashi. "And maybe he was wrong, too."

"Gai…"

"He died because he used the gates and… and I'm not condemning him for it. He used them to protect something precious to him, to protect me, and that is something to be proud of. But maybe… maybe I was too young, too?" Gai bows his head. "Maybe he should have never taught me it… because now Lee has almost died from using the gates."

"Gai," Kakashi pulls him closer so that their sides are pressed together. "That wasn't your doing. It was that kid from the Sand. He is the one who almost killed Lee."

"Lee would have given up sooner if he didn't have the gates."

"No, he wouldn't have." Gai looks up then, surprise written all over his face. "Gai, that child, is exactly like you when you were his age. You wouldn't have given up, would you?" Gai shakes his head. "Exactly. So gates or no gates, there is no doubt in my mind that Lee would have fought with everything he had and would have never given up."

"So, then you're saying it's a character flaw?"

Kakashi chuckles with exasperation, laying his forehead down onto Gai's shoulder. "No, I'm saying it's admirable." He lifts his head to look Gai in the eyes. "Stupid sometimes but admirable."

It gets Gai to laugh, a real laugh, and Kakashi's heart warms at the sound. He pulls him a little closer, carding his fingers into Gai's hair. He ruffles the strands, messing up the bowl cut and Gai tries to pull away in complaint. "Kakashi!"

Kakashi lets him escape and watches as Gai tries to smooth his hair back down with his lips set in a pout the whole time. It's adorable and he's glad he's managed to make Gai feel a little better. He's not very good at it most times but when he succeeds it makes him happy. Especially if it's Gai.

"Gai." Gai stops his ministrations on his hair, looking up at Kakashi. He's much more relaxed now, genuine seeming. "Lee will be okay. He's stubborn like you. Nothing will keep him down."

Gai stares at him for a few seconds, thinking, before a real smile breaks out on his face and he sticks out a thumbs-up in Kakashi's direction. "Most definitely, Rival!"

Kakashi chuckles again and, with an amused shake of his head, he throws an arm around Gai's shoulders, walking back to the hospital with him.

—————————————————————————————————

A/N: Don't worry. I didn't forget about the fact that Gai needs to have Ebisu come to the hospital. I just didn't write it in. What I imagine happening is, once back at the hospital, Gai uses a messenger turtle to instruct Ebisu to get to the hospital. It probably scares the shit out of Ebisu at first, thinking something bad might have happened to Gai until he gets there and Kakashi explains everything to him. He is not amused. XD

Thank you for reading!

[nileqt87]

Despair For Castiel: A Review

From a series of posts before and after watching:

Before:

As far as I'm concerned, I'm now imagining the Empty having to deal with Gabriel and Balthazar redecorating the Empty into the angel/demon afterlife (probably with a lot of wacky alternate realities and bad porno) with all the free will angels and redemptive demons invited, Cas finding Meg and eventually Jack again for his true happy ending that he can have and Crowley probably trying to install himself as king again. Then when Rowena finally exits as Queen of Hell, she'll join and Crowley will annoyed, but Gabriel will be happy to see her again. LOL.

Megstielers also got robbed hard with all that setup of Cas still pining for Meg for YEARS, the Empty using her image (not Dean!) to taunt him (the Empty clearly saw Meg in Cas' head when it could have taken the form of anyone, including Cas like last time) and a whole dropped plot thread that Cas made a deal with Ruby to break a demon out of the Empty, which only makes sense with the one and only demon he'd actually want to let out of the Empty. That's dangling one 'ship a whole bunch of carrots (like every single Clarence reference for a decade) to rip the rug out from under them.

I suppose I should've seen it coming when the previously on segment for 15x13 was a Pizza Man and the Babysitter retrospective that shoved Cas out of the Pizza Man role beside Babysitter Nurse Meg to shove Dean into Megstiel's sexy times meme. I guess it turned Cas into just Dean's Baby in a Trench Coat (which was an insult about being useless to Dean's cause without powers, which suggests Cas has no worth to him otherwise), since he got infantilized with the removal of the Pizza Man originally being him.

I still haven't watched the episode. The Tumblr crap is that off-putting.

What should've been an epic moment in Cas' story is now tainted by his love of humanity, found family and free will (his real love story is with all of humanity and finding belonging, in spite of always being on the outside looking in on a life he can't have because he's not human) being reduced to horny girls who just want fetish smut with Dean and don't give a fig about canon Cas outside of a toxic, abusive crack!ship. It's always so immature and vapid!

It was immediately clear when I joined the fandom that shockingly few gave a crap about any character but Dean, even refusing to see what he's become in later seasons. Also numerous examples where they admit having not seen the show in a decade or only knowing the show via manipulative .gif sets. Cas and Sam (if they remember him at all) are just props or prizes to be won. They ignore context of familial/platonic relationships. Canon love interests aren't good enough because they're not the big prize of being a main. I also note the deluge of Wincest girls who hate Cas for existing (he's in their way) in the anti-Destiel tag.

I can't say the .gifs are making me want to watch, even though the dialog is vague enough to still fit Cas' actual character for the general audience who isn't glued to social media.

As for Dean's non-reaction, I had similar problems with Jensen's constipated acting back in 15x03 when Cas finally walked away while Dean looked like he couldn't care less, which the writers coincidentally praised Jensen for (holy crap that interview was up his backside) and completely ignored Misha actually giving a good performance in a scene that actually meant something long coming for Cas. I certainly can't say the same about the quality of this scene, which just looks forced on both ends.

I hope I like the episode more than the sounds of it, but my hopes aren't high. This is not how I wanted Cas' final moments on the show to be.

After:

Well, I got up the stomach to watch it tonight. Thankfully, in context, it definitely got blown way out of proportion by what the Hellers turned it into (as usual). Yeah, even when watching while unfortunately not blind to the wackadoodle fandom discourse, it played out better on screen than the .gifs. And frankly, a whole lot less like creepy Care Bear stare nightmare fuel than the few choice screenshots kept showing (yikes). I still wish Sam and Jack had been there, because they're just as much part of what connected Cas to feeling like part of a family (even more so in the later years), but it's not the total monstrosity it was turned into online.

Average viewers who just take canon as is without trying to read into it what they want to be there instead, IMO, will safely interpret it platonically (even if coming after a particularly hellish few years in Dean's personality rot where the whole friendship was beginning to be questionable) more often than not because that's what the canon has said for a dozen years. Again, I repeat that Cas already told the Winchesters he loved them when he thought he was dying.

It's a crime to have Cas' perfect philia (brotherly), storge (parental) and agape-style (sacrificial and unconditional) loves being immaturely twisted into eros in a way that degrades the whole meaning of the character's journey. People telling each other they love one another when it's not sexual should never be mocked into being afraid to do so because of this insidious, willful misinterpretation. If only somebody had told Cas they love him instead of him always being the one with his heart on his sleeve!

This character went from being tortured into a robotic, emotionless, ancient, not-remotely-humanoid being who couldn't relate to the simplest of human needs to being someone deeply in love with humanity and wanting to find belonging amongst it despite knowing it would always end with him watching them all grow old and die after having families and such experiences angels are forbidden from having (another reason why Jack was so important to Cas' story).

The wording is valid for that philia/agape interpretation, given Cas definitely equated Dean (whom Cas watched sacrificing himself for Sam endlessly, including why he had to be raised from perdition in the first place) with a guide role in his learning to understand humanity and proudly-defiant free will before he could love it. It's valid enough to say that Cas wouldn't have broken his programming permanently without being challenged to question everything he'd ever believed and give up his entire angelic belonging. That much of it did begin with Cas just happening to be the angel who succeeded in the Hell rescue.

Obviously, it's also canon that Cas had a long history of not following orders and getting lobotomized by Naomi, but Cas actually understanding humanity and what free will means did happen only after this particular rebellion. I'm very glad at least that was in the speech, but of course, it's being hopelessly ignored.

I stand by my interpretation that what Cas can't have has always been the tragic version of The Little Mermaid where she turns into sea foam in the end. Cas has always looked in on what everyone else takes for granted from the outsider's perspective. There's a part of him that will always be left out, no matter how well he learns to fit in and how much those around him begin to treat him as a real person. Cas never really got to truly belong with humanity, no matter how much he loves and is loved by it. He's also not getting to stay where he wants to be. There's no Pinocchio ending for Cas that turns him into a real Winchester.

Sadly, Dean's constant othering of him and Jack like they're just more monsters to hunt only alienated them more. Jack was someone Cas could relate to as a supernatural being capable of human emotions, which might also have furthered his draw towards Meg. Sam was also someone Cas could relate to as freaks and abominations amongst their own kinds. Sam always had that same struggle, also with his own family. It goes a long way towards explaining why Sam was always so empathetic to Cas and Jack in a way that Dean couldn't be. All three kept conflicting with that black & white humans = good/other = bad mindset that sometimes creeps in with Dean. When Cas was Dean's "best friend" in the early days, he rationalized it by thinking of Cas as being "like" a human ("You used to be human, or at least like one.").

Yet it still remains true that Cas often found himself looking to Dean to teach him about humanity back when he didn't know enough about it to be inconspicuous amongst them. Dean gave him the crash course in both what humanity is willing to do for each other, but also its flaws and failings at the same time.

Perhaps the saddest scenes in the episode were actually Sam watching everyone poof in front of him. Sam has really been forced to watch a lot of death scenes this season all by himself (as with Rowena), but he looked the most broken by Eileen's. Cas is going to be hard on him, because I genuinely think Sam was far closer to him in the end. Sam was the one who actually was trying to reach out to Cas when Dean repeatedly kept him out of the loop. Sam being left out from the final words with Cas or even hearing first-hand about the deal with the Empty just furthers that tragedy. While Dean has been raging at everything in sight, Sam and Cas have both looked broken, sad and tired all season.

[askcherrypie]

#NewGuy Goes Viral - Why?

Well, it seems to be because someone made a comic strip where their self-personification character was laughing about someone they didn’t like getting robbed, and a “new guy” character they created to be the butt of the joke ended up getting widespread support for - well, just being a decent person.

Looking at the strip itself, the author’s point seems to be that she can’t be friends with anyone who would think that robbery is bad - IF it happens to someone the author thinks is a “millionaire gamer-bro douchebag”.

Those three terms are very important to the strip, because they’re the justification for the author enjoying some schadenfreude at the expense of someone they dislike. This, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It depends on whether or not the dislike itself is justified. Otherwise, the author is just being a douchebag.

Let’s take a step back from the politics of the people involved for a second to examine the terms in use. On their Twitter page, the author debuted this strip back in December with the quip: “won’t someone think of the poor millionaires?”. That indicates that of the three descriptors, “millionaire” is the actual justification in mind.

So let’s examine that: imagine you have a neighbor down the street named Pablo. The street’s been kind of icy, and last week Pablo slipped and fell on his ass while going out to get his mail. If you’re a douchebag, you probably laughed, filmed it, and put it up on YouTube so everyone could make fun of someone taking a spill on the concrete. If you’re not, you probably hissed through your teeth and then shouted over asking if he was okay.

This week, Pablo wins the lottery. He’s now a millionaire. He goes out to get his mail, slips on the ice, and falls on his ass. What’s changed?

Well, if you’re the author of the comic in question, he deserves to be laughed at now because he’s rich. That’s all you need to hate the guy.

But let’s assume that’s not all there is to it. The author did also call him “gamer-bro” in the strip... and the problem there is that this is either a negative, positive, or even neutral term, depending on how you personally front-load it in your own head.

Same for the term “gamer-girl”. I just popped that out there, and in your own head, you either had a positive, negative, or neutral reaction. Your justifications for your view might be logical or ridiculous, but there’s no way I or anyone else can know why you feel that way until and unless you say so.

The author tosses out “gamer-bro” in a context suggesting it’s supposed to be negative, but we’re not given a reason why. If the reader already associates “gamer-bro” with negativity, they will likely side with the author’s viewpoint, but if they’re neutral on the term, it just comes across as the author hating male gamers. Worse, because there’s no other context, this also seems extremely petty and pointless... like calling the robbery victim a “millionaire sous-chef douchebag”. Someone who sees “gamer-bro” as a positive and wholesome term meaning “guy who enjoys playing video games” will likely interpret the author as being something of a troll.

Let’s go back to our neighbor Pablo again: he not only won the lottery, but he also likes playing video games a lot. His new hobby is streaming his games online, and he’s getting something of an audience. Then he goes out to get his mail and slips on the ice.

Are we supposed to mock him?

Finally, there’s the term “douchebag” - and here, the author has fucked up on multiple levels.

The first problem is that “millionaire gamer-bro” has already been put in front of “douchebag” as reasons why the author hates the robbery victim. At this point, it’s entirely readable as nothing more than an underscore of the existing description... like adding “fuckhead” to the end of an epithet.

On the other hand, it might not be. It might be a reference to something douche-baggy the robbery victim has done.

This is the second problem: the author didn’t set up any such reference. If there were a running story arc, where the strip’s protagonist is routinely commenting on this particular “millionaire gamer-bro” and WHY they are a douchebag, THEN we might have a reason to agree with the author.

But here comes the third problem: even if they had, the New Guy in this particular strip is clearly not familiar with the situation either.  Yet instead of taking the opportunity to explain to New Guy why she feels the way she does, Old Gal immediately puts New Guy on her personal shit list.

Which makes her the douchebag in this scenario.

She doesn’t have to be a millionaire, or a gamer-girl, or anything else, for people to justifiably give her a ration of shit over all this - she’s a douchebag, she’s been called on it, and rather than own up to that she’s claiming to be a victim and throwing out her “trans card” as though it justified her being a douchebag. Other people are also rising to her defense on this basis, acting as though calling out her douchebagginess is an assault on the LGBT community.

Some are even going so far as to attack anyone who just posts positive fanart of New Guy. At this point, you don’t even need to mention the author - just draw New Guy being a decent person or being treated decently, and you will likely invite at least a few caustic comments about “transphobia” or “bullying”.

Welcome to 2020, everyone, where it is problematic to enjoy common decency.

[squarekid]

The Re-Making of Grace of Monaco: the Unfinished Cut

In the summer of 2013, I was invited by the now defunct U.S. distributors of a feature film I had written called GRACE OF MONACO to participate in the editorial process for a U.S. theatrical cut. As a writer, it was a rare and unusual position to be in. I had never edited a movie before. Never meaningfully set foot in an edit room. Only seen working cuts. Though I was very reluctant about stepping into the arena, I knew this work was going to happen anyway. As a producer on the movie, it was part of my required duties on a project that had been subject to much behind-the-scenes drama (check press for details). I decided to assist how I could in the attempts to restore some of the narrative focus, tone and characterizations that were in the screenplay but not in the finished movie. So much of cinema is about interpretation of the written word — lighting, dressing, design, direction, delivery and performance — that it was never a process of recapturing what was on the page (even if some of the scenes and dialogue were exact). But about re-imagination and careful detective work. About trial and error. A look here. A smile there. A line here. Page by page. Scene by scene. Reshaping story arcs and character movements. Work that often, I have since learned through post-production on my subsequent movies working with some incredibly talented and giving filmmakers, is ideally meant to be part of an intense collaboration between director, writer and producer. 10 years on, it’s become clear with the passing of time that this experience was a black swan that I will never live through again in my career.  But yet it seems with the passing years, and the changing headwinds in the business, this cut will be lost for good. I'm not aware of any other copies existing anywhere else. It would be a shame, because those few instructive and fascinating months proved educational enough for me personally to share as an academic and historic record (should any film historians find use for this). 

As such, what follows is FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. 

A few words about what you're going to see for those of you who have never been in the process. This is not a finished movie. This is a working print of the movie many weeks prior to a picture lock; the moment the picture edit is done and you move on to other post production work —  VFX, color correction, Automated Dialog Replacement (ADR), looping, scoring, sound mixing, and so on. As such, there is no grading, the film is raw stock dailies, incomplete VFX, temp score, and you'll be doing as much reading as you would watching for all the ADR work. It was meant for many weeks more of input from the director, from the producers, from test audiences. It’s a work half-done. It's a unique viewing experience, but I hope an educational one. Also, no reshoots! The goal was to recut using existing material using the original script for guidance.

So, how is this cut different?

From Melodrama to Drama. A considerable toning down of the heightened style, to get to a more sober portrayal, and more evocative of the era. This included a more subdued and direct form of editing, and a new approach to the score.

Narrative cohesion to center on Grace’s journey and her conflicted relationship with Rainier. At its heart this was a story about a husband and wife who got married first, then figured the rest out later. This is all about POV and the choices Grace has to make to double down on or reject what may have been the biggest mistake in her life.  An unhappy woman who married her glamorous Prince, but now trapped in a grotesque place — except she has kids, and doesn’t know how to get out. It’s a tragedy. A story of acceptance. There is no nobility and quite a lot of sadness to the love affair. There were some baroque moments in the script that weren’t shot (for example, Grace taught her kids not to bite by biting them), that would have helped with getting into Grace's psyche. Nevertheless, the intent was to restore some of the essence of this to the movie. To get to the core of Grace’s self-actualization.

Create context for Monaco. Monaco in 1962 was trying to reframe itself as a tax haven to come out from under French colonial rule. They had rich people, they had grotesque people, but at its core, it was mostly a small provincial principality trying to make the most with very little. Monaco in 1962 was different to the Monaco of today, which Rainier subsequently remade into his vision of unbridled wealth and excess. When he echoes Thomas Jefferson in this cut, during a speech that was in the script but not in the other versions, there is an attempt to understand the underlying darkness of this. That though we may not (and should not) agree with him, we can see where his underlying motivations are what Grace has got herself into.  

Restructuring of the plot in some cases for more clarity and suspense. To more effectively balance the marriage story with the thriller aspects of the coup plot.

Delivery and additional dialogue. ADR requirements were extensive due to the shift from melodrama to drama. These are an attempt to mute the power of the delivery. So you’ll be reading a lot, as you will in context-setting scenes such as the opening “wall of sound” news-reels.

A final word on the much discussed original screenplay, with almost a decade of hindsight. It was written without much expectation, and a good deal of naivety. The work of a young writer starting out in Hollywood, who found a small pocket of history he found fascinating. Did I think it would end up under such intense scrutiny? Never in my wildest dreams. But fools go where angels fear to tread. Reading it back today, it feels like a great early draft, but not yet a movie, and with a lot of story and character left to be mined. For this I’ll need a whole other essay, but suffice to say it needed more time to develop. I regularly use it today as an example for young writers to show the pitfalls of moving to the production phase before the screenplay has been properly cooked. I will also make available the original treatment and first draft screenplay soon, again FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. The treatment I remain very fond of because of the cleanness of its execution.

Finally … is this cut better or worse? Does any of this matter? I don’t know. That’s not the object of this exercise. I leave that for you the viewer to decide. It’s just different. It's impossible to remake a movie after its inception and execution. But the U.S. theatrical cut, as it was to be in an alternate timeline, exists in an orphaned semi-completed state. I moved on a long time ago but Quarantine 2020 opened up some time that allowed me to crack open old files, reflect and revisit those memories, good and bad. Not least of all learning how radically different versions of a movie are possible in post-production with the same material and with creative re-writing. Editing and screenwriting it seems do go hand in hand. 

Amel

Quarantine, April 2020

[flibbertigiblet]

Episode 1: FORESHADOWING GALORE

Was it a perfect episode? No. The pacing is still a bit iffy, the dialogue bland, and important scenes felt rushed/undeveloped. But did it give me hope and/or satisfaction? Yes. Light on action, but heavy on foreshadowing, this episode lays the groundwork for three of our favorite theories – Dark!Dany, Political!Jon, and Jonsa.

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I never thought that we would get all our theories openly confirmed in the first episode. The showrunners are giving us the last moments of calm before the storm, and it makes sense that they allow the viewers to enjoy Jon’s homecoming and the various reunions between several beloved characters before they hit us with the major twists those theories entail. What they do instead is pepper the episode with strong hints of these outcomes. In this post, I’ll be highlighting the plot points and dialogue that support these theories, rather than going through the premiere scene by scene.

Let’s jump right into it. This is a long one.

Arrival at Winterfell

After a heartfelt hug with Bran (and thank the gods that we finally get a semblance of humanity from the Three-Eyed Raven in this), Jon turns to Sansa, who had been watching their reunion with a small but fond smile on her face. As Jon rears up to embrace his “sister”, the camera makes sure to cut away from them to focus on Daenerys and Jorah, watching them from a distance. Bran is kept in frame, observing their reactions. Sansa too, turns her gaze on the newcomers, even as she wraps her arms around Jon.

I will admit to being disappointed that the reunion hug between Jon and Sansa was much briefer and less intense than what we got in the HBO trailer, but in retrospect, that fact makes me go “hmm”. After all, they chose that particular sequence to be the first and only snippet from S8 to show in that trailer, despite the episode’s truncated version of the hug (or any other scene from the season, really) being a possible option. A photo of this scene shot from yet another angle from a Spanish(?) publication was circulating the internet only days ago. D&D want us to pay special attention to the relationship between Jon and Sansa.

Podrick Dany certainly is.

Dany and Sansa eye each other from across the courtyard, before the former approaches the Starks. As Lyanna Mormont and Lord Royce stare at her with suspicion, Jon makes introductions.

“My sister, Sansa Stark, the Lady of Winterfell.”

“Thank you for inviting us into your home, Lady Stark,” Daenerys says with a fixed smile. “The North is as beautiful as your brother claimed, as are you.” (You know, one way of interpreting this line was that it was Jon who told Dany that Sansa is beautiful. Because, well. She is.)

Sansa is not impressed by the transparent attempt at flattery. She looks Dany up and down and leans back slightly in thinly-veiled disdain, but her words and voice are perfectly civil. “Winterfell is yours, your Grace.” Take note: neither she nor anyone else in the courtyard bends the knee to their would-be queen.

Daenerys doesn’t buy Sansa’s act for a second, but Bran doesn’t have time for this catfight and tells everyone what’s what. The Wall has fallen, and the Army of the Dead (+ dragon) are marching to Winterfell. That sobers them up quickly.

Meeting the Lords

Everyone is gathered in the Great Hall. Pay attention to the framing. At the head table, Sansa has been relegated to Jon’s right, where Davos, as the Hand of the King, used to sit. Daenerys has taken up Sansa’s former seat to his left, where the Lady of Winterfell typically sits. In this first shot, however, Dany is standing by the fireplace, leaving a visual and metaphorical gap between the Northern pair and Team Dany, represented by Tyrion, who is seated at the far end of the table.

As acting leader of Winterfell, Sansa is the one running the meeting. She establishes the fact that she has called on all the banners to retreat to Winterfell, and asks for an update from Lord Umber, last of that once-mighty House. A young boy no older than Bran was in season 1 pops his head out from behind one of the nameless Lords. He is small, and cute, and has been singled out by the script, so clearly he is doomed.

He addresses first Sansa - “We need more horses and wagons, my Lady,” – then Jon – “and my Lord,” – who flashes him a quick smile – “and my Queen.” – and only then Daenerys, who does not love being third on this list. “Sorry,” apologizes awkwardly. His business is sorted out, and he is sent off.

Jon instructs Maester Wolkan to send ravens to the Night’s Watch to summon them to Winterfell. “At once, Your Grace,” says the man, out of habit, probably, but it’s all the excuse Lyanna Mormont needs to stand up to sass Jon for renouncing his crown (mostly because D&D have designated her the improbable mouthpiece of the North and have not bothered to introduce us to any of the other lords).

Jon tries to make his case, but nobody is convinced, not even when Tyrion tags himself in. As he tries to sway the Northern lords, the camera cuts to the other three – Jon in between the two women, Stark and Targaryen, black and white. They really couldn’t be more obvious about the symbolism here, but in case you missed it, the showrunners give us more evidence that we’re not about to get The Hair Braiding That Was Promised.

Sansa is facing the lords, addressing Tyrion, but is clearly speaking to Daenerys when she asks just how Winterfell is supposed to feed Team Dany’s massive armies and the dragons. Like the responsible leader that she is – take notes, kiddos – Sansa had spent the past few months stockpiling supplies to help her people through winter. Was the North expected to support these newcomers too? “What do dragons eat, anyway?”

“Whatever they want,” says Dany.

The two women look at each other with no further pretense at friendliness. Battle lines have been drawn.

(Jon sits there, pretending not to notice.)

A Proposed Proposal

Davos, Varys and Tyrion are discussing how to salvage the alliance between their respective sides. Davos tells the others that Northerners do not trust easily, that this trust needs to be earned. But he is hopeful that it can happen. “On the off chance that we survive the Night King, what if the Seven Kingdoms, for once in their whole shit history, were ruled by a just woman and an honorable man?”

He is talking about a possible marriage between Jon and Dany, but at this point the audience knows the truth of their relationship, and by the end of the episode – spoiler – Jon does too. Whether or not the GA realizes it yet, this makes the conversation equally applicable to the Jonsa side of the triangle.

Plus, le gasp! A Stark-Targaryen marriage? How dreadfully romantic.*

*Okay, I am actually strongly anti-Rhaegar, but the show plays them as some kind of grand romantic pairing so I will try to contain my antipathy for the purposes of this review.

A Darker Turn

Down at the courtyard, Daenerys is feeling somewhat put upon.

“Your sister doesn’t like me.”

Jon tries to mollify her. “She doesn’t know you. If it makes you feel any better, she didn’t like me either when we were growing up.”

“She doesn’t need to be my friend. But I am her queen. If she can’t respect me…”

WHAT, DANY? IF SANSA CAN’T RESPECT YOU, WHAT WILL YOU DO?

We’ve been saying it for a long while now, but guys. Dark!Dany is coming. While certain elements of the fandom persist in denying the obvious trajectory of her character arc, the foreboding undertone of this line is hard to ignore. What made this even more chilling was that she said this to Jon, a member of her family, who doesn’t yet know at this point in the episode what Dany’s extreme reaction tends to be for insubordination.

(Oh, but we know.)

When Sam learns of what Daenerys did to his father and brother, he could barely hold it together long enough to excuse himself from her presence before falling apart. Despite what Dany stans would have you think, this is a perfectly human and normal reaction to hearing such dreadful news. Also human and understandable? Mistrusting the kind of ruler who would execute a man for not bending the knee. Especially since Sam has personally seen a more humane sort of leadership before in Jon, who he later urges to take up his birthright as the true heir to the Iron Throne.

Other metas have discussed Dany’s approach to leadership and her increasingly draconian (an apt word, no?) attitude towards what she feels is her rightful position as Queen of the 7K. That she can and will take what is hers. A sense of entitlement not dissimilar to that which she attributed to her dragons earlier in that public display which did not endear her to her Northern subjects…

Side note: We’ve seen the indiscriminate destruction that an unchecked dragon can reap before when one of them – then only half-grown – killed the young daughter of a goatherd in Meereen. We even received a handy reminder of this straight from the mouth of Dany’s staunchest supporter and ally only in the episode before this one: “Dragons don’t understand the difference between what is theirs and what isn’t. Land, livestock, children…letting them roam free around the city was a problem.” – Jorah Mormont, S07E07.

And because it hasn’t been hammered into our heads enough, we are reminded of this again later on, when her Dothraki riders list exactly how much her dragons had consumed just that same day (“only eighteen goats and eleven sheep”, which apparently means “the dragons are barely eating”). This is followed by a powerful shot of said dragons surrounded by the charred bones of the livestock that could have fed dozens of people.

The same people who cowered as the dragons flew over Mole’s Town, and whose fear she appeared to relish.

Foreshadowing much?

That Dragon Flying Scene

Oh boy. I’ll be honest. I wasn’t excited to see this one at all. In the end it was both more and less awful than I imagined it would be. The dragon riding scene is bound to be controversial. Thrilling to some, pandering of the worst kind to others. To me, it smacks of fanservice, but let’s give the show the benefit of the doubt and try to parse its storytelling purpose in the greater scheme of things.

Despite Daenerys’ unsubtle threat towards Sansa in the previous scene – which Jon was conveniently prevented from addressing due to the interruption of the Dothraki – and the sight of Drogon and Rhaegal apparently sulking whilst surrounded by the remains of the food they are “barely eating”, the showrunners made the odd decision to play this scene with a note of levity.

Out of nowhere, Dany oh-so-casually encourages her lover to try riding her dragon, a foolhardy decision based on what, exactly? The one time Jon had a moment with one of her “gorgeous beast(s)”? Dany teases him about his initial reluctance, and laughs at his ungraceful attempts to hang on as the two dragons freewheel over the snow-covered lands of the North before landing in front of a beautiful waterfall for a “romantic” moment.

In dialogue calling back to Jon and Ygritte’s famous cave scene (listen, are D&D just going to troll us by recycling  all of Jon’s best hits?):

“We could stay a thousand years, says Daenerys, looking back at Jon. “No one would find us.”

“We’d be pretty old,” says Jon with uncharacteristic humor.

I believe Jon’s lightheartedness stems as much from his being home with his family at long last as the thrill of dragonriding with a pretty girl by his side. The two flirt using cheesy lines straight out of bad fanfiction before sharing a kiss which I suppose will please the stans.

Not me, though. Romantic music playing in the background or not, like in boatbang, the supposed passion of the moment is interrupted by a third party which makes the whole thing awkward. The final shot of Jon’s eyes widening as he sees Rhaegal staring directly at him as he kisses the Dragon Queen made me snort, but it is unclear whether it was played for a laugh, is meant to underline the awkwardness of this romance, or be an ominous portent of the revelations to come.

And Now For the Good Stuff

That terrible unnecessary Disneyfied brightly lit, panoramic, even mildly comedic sequence contrasted sharply with the scene between Jon and Sansa only minutes later. We are treated to a Jonsa staple: a warm, candlelit scene full of tension, fluttering eyelashes, and heaving bosoms. This time, the air is shimmering with a new emotion – jealousy.

The two start off by discussing a message from Lord Glover, who “wishes (them) good fortune but he’s staying in Deepwood Motte with his men.” This immediately sparks an argument between them about Jon having bent the knee. They’ve had variations of this fight before, and to be honest, it’s a little tired. While I fully understand Sansa’s reservations about the presence of Dany and her armies in the North in terms of logistics, I tend to be more sympathetic to Jon’s insistence that the discussion on Northern independence needs to take a back seat for the moment given the gravity of the threats they are facing. But Sansa clings stubbornly to this old argument, and she (rather unfairly) lays the blame for Lord Glover’s desertion at Jon’s feet (let’s blame who is really at fault here, Sansa – the disloyal lord himself).

But of course, that’s not really what they’re fighting about.

“You didn’t tell me you were going to abandon your crown,” she says, voice shaking with anger as she turns her back on Jon.

Jon, frustrated, moves several steps closer. “I never wanted a crown. All I wanted was to protect the North. I brought two armies home with me, two dragons.”

Sansa spins around. “And a Targaryen queen?” she spits out.

Ah, and here we come to what appears to be the true cause of her wrath. Jon reminds Sansa that without Daenerys (and her martial strength), they don’t stand a chance against the Army of the Dead. Sansa is silent. She cannot argue the need for the armies and the dragons, but she takes particular exception to the woman who leads them. Why, Sansa? TELL US WHY.

It’s in their eyes as much as their words.

Jon heaves a deep sigh, closes his eyes. “Do you have any faith in me at all?” (Y’all, this line just about broke my heart cause he just wants her to love trust him.)

Sansa’s eyes are soft and slightly glassy. “You know I do.”

Jon takes another step or two towards Sansa, never breaking their gaze. “She’ll be a good queen. For all of us.” His eyes move away briefly. “She’s not her father.”

Sansa looks down, gathering herself with a deep breath. “No, she’s much prettier.”

Jon gives a pained smile of acknowledgment. It is his turn to avoid her stare.

“Did you bend the knee to save the North?” Sansa asks him, her eyes unfocused. “Or because you love her?”

Jon glances up at Sansa, but doesn’t respond.

END SCENE.

(Let’s give a standing ovation to Sophie and Kit for acting the hell out of this scene. I want a hundred gifs of this, people. Please get on it.)

The subtext is rich, rich, rich, my Jonsas. The dream is still alive.

One Last Thought - The Importance of Sansa Stark

Nothing made me happier than seeing our Queen in the North Lady of Winterfell given all the credit and respect that is her due after seasons of anti bullshit. See:

The people’s deference to her position and the role that she plays in the North

Tyrion’s acknowledgment of her survival skills - “Many underestimated you. Most of them are dead now.”

Arya’s steadfast defense of her - “She’s the smartest person I ever met.” - when Jon (Jon???) himself was expressing frustration towards her (check out @athimbleful 's recent ask for an explanation for Jon’s behavior in this scene)

Even Dany’s behaviour towards Sansa (first with that cringey introduction), and later when she singles her out for not “respecting” her, despite the fact that none of the Northern lords were showing her any warmth is an indication of her awareness of Sansa’s alpha status, which is right and just and exactly as it should be.

As recent promo materials, cast interviews, etc. seem be strongly pro-Sansa, I am reasonably optimistic that this all bodes well for our girl. For that alone, I will breathe a little easier...

...at least for one more week.

[fieldbears]

Washed-Up Stucky MNF/Fic Writer Provides Endgame Opinions

I’m going to try to tackle this linearly, at least to begin with:

I am very much Team Bored With MCU Hawkeye, but I want to give sincere props for the cold open, which I think accomplished several things simultaneously: recapped the consequences of the last film (since, hey, it’s been a fuckin while), set the tone, and began Clint’s narrative arc.

That said, jesus, I’m still irritated by the shoe-horned family to begin with. First they were invented for convenience and narrative stakes, and then their final, ultimate reason for existence was to be temporarily fridged. Take a moment to imagine a world where Clint was the circus runaway loner he was supposed to be, who only had his coworkers as found family, who either responded to The Snap by throwing himself harder into his teamwork work OR went rogue because his sense of justice and agency was so fucking destroyed by what happened. He didn’t need a blood family to have the arc he had. And he didn’t even need the arc he had. But this is a bitchfest about a choice made many years ago, not made in this final movie.

The first third of that movie was rough. The whole thing had the narrative flow of “A Series of Related Short Stories Played One After the Other”, but the first third seems to be Failing To Establish the New World and then Clumsily Establishing The Emerging Situation.

The establishing shots and scenes to show the audience what The Snap’s consequences were worldwide were... lacking. It’s dark? No more baseball? People are relying on natural light instead of interior lighting, but this is also happening at Avengers HQ, where they clearly still have power and internet access to work their tech, so... was it just an aesthetic choice? I feel like the film tried to spend time showing us what the consequences were for the average New Yorker, but instead we get a weird Canonly Gay Russo Character who gave a good performance that tells us about the human loss but not about the mechanics of this new world. We get the ‘no baseball’ shot and all we get afterward are ‘people miss the missing people’. But restaurants still exist? Businesses are functioning? (Wouldn’t New York run kind of smoother if it wasn’t overpopulated?) I feel like we were invited to start thinking about how this dystopia works, but were never given answers. (There are so many interpretations of how things could go wrong if certain people just disappeared, and their knowledge/access were suddenly unavailable, and none of it was explored, even briefly, outside of establishing shots.)

The Garden Planet - it’s discovery, the traveling to it, the fight there - lacked emotional grounding in a way I find hard to explain. The audience was excited for Brie Larson being a fucking boss, and the quick execution of the grab-him-and-cut-his-arm-off plan was satisfying, but the twist and subsequent letdown was just a weird beat after a slog to get there, after waiting on a deep letdown beat from the last movie.

Last thing about flow and emotional beats, because I want to move on to character analysis, and this is a huge one for me: Clint’s fight in Tokyo and Steve’s fight with himself were some of the biggest missed opportunities in the entire film.

Not counting the football field brawl at the end, which I don’t count as a real fight scene, these are the two major fight scenes of the entire film and as far as I can tell, there was no effort made to make these showpieces. They went to the trouble of bringing Clint to Bladerunner Central, and pit him against the last bastion of aesthetic-obsessed mafia in the world. The panning camera in the interior as Hawkeye fought goons brushed past lazy fight scenes that only showed who was winning, not the brutality that Clint was supposedly falling into, not the grit of this new awful world, just... shapeless dark bodies getting thrown through windows? And on top of that, they could have made up (or picked from canon) any Big Bad to pit him against outside in the street, and we get an Orientalist sword fight that could have fit in nicely on a CW superhero show, and some of the most unnecessary exposition dialogue I have ever heard. Someone bothered to weave Clint’s arc in earlier, with Rhodey explaining to Natasha that Clint’s gone International and also Worryingly Dark. Why the fuck do we have the ‘I’ll give you anything you want’ line, on the rotten cherry on top of ‘stop being mean to the yakuza, we didn’t start it’? You already covered his motivations with the cold open.

And while Steve’s fight ended in a FABULOUSLY HEARTBREAKING WAY, the fight itself was nothing - you can pick little character details out like how they both ditched their shields almost immediately, and it was funny that Then-Steve mistook Now-Steve for Loki in the first place, but it was still a completely lost opportunity to get one true superhero battle in this three-hour slog. Both Steves could have gotten up and carried out the rest of the narrative after a decent brawl, but instead they fall a great distance after some blocked shots and it... was nothing? Missed opportunity for some cool shit.

Okay, skipping to character assessments now:

Clint’s character has been mishandled from the beginning and this seemed to be the “better late than never” eleventh hour arc. Except the end of the arc is unclear - it made sense for him to fall apart after losing his Shoehorn Family, but how did Natasha’s choice to fall do anything but fridge someone else, with more agency this time? It makes Natasha noble, which she already was, and it made her win against Clint, which I appreciate, but Natasha didn’t need salvation through death and Clint learns nothing by getting them back, just experiences relief.

Bruce. I want to say, first, that I love Hulk in a Cardigan. Cardihulk can stay. I want fanart, I want t-shirts, give me all of it. But Bruce’s explanation of “I scienced it so I could get the best of both worlds” only gives us half of the acceptance that Banner’s character is already working towards. As we saw most explicitly in Ragnarok, the Hulk isn’t just a physical form, he has his own separate consciousness, originally defined by rage but revealed to be more complicated. Bruce merging into Cardihulk seems to have... erased Hulk’s separate consciousness without merging it into himself? If there had been some acknowledgement of a second voice still within him that shot out opinions or demands for certain menu items in the diner, this would have been a much cleaner end to his arc, which has been equally messy between actor and narrative shifts.

Speaking of Ragnarok... it’s time! Are you ready? Have you read articles about the Gambit Gambit too? Are you fucking depressed that a fat suit was used for comedy gags in the year of our lord 2019? Because I was. The Russos seemed to... not struggle with what progress Ragnarok had put onto Bruce and Thor’s characters, but reject it. This movie’s Thor was anxious for laughs, was desperate for easy answers to a a feeling of lost heroism, and it didn’t feel like a familiar character. The time-travel scene with his mother wrapped it up very elegantly, and was well performed, but that scene didn’t need to follow a series of “chunky drunk in sweatpants” jokes to show us that Thor was struggling. Everyone in the film is fucking holding on by their fingernails, but only one is played for cheap laughs.

At least we get the bisexual Asgard lady king we deserved.

Tony got the right death. He got a hero’s death and Pepper’s last lines of “you can rest now” were exactly the right lines to wrap up an arc characterized by fear and a desire to protect and control at any cost. I knew the MCU was never going to really acknowledge that Tony’s The Problem, even with lines like ‘you should have let me do the fascist robot thing, that was gonna work fine’ thrown around pretty much as soon as he touches down on earth again.

I’m not sure if there’s much to say about Natasha. It was fitting that she was running HQ, that she was struggling, that she was rejecting emotional help from Steve but clearly still close with him. Seeing her break down after hearing the report on Clint felt right after, I think, being told by several directors (or making the personal acting choice? idk) to just be as flat and as decolletagey as possible. And again, while I feel like she would be self-sacrificing on that cliffisde if given the opportunity, and that she would win, the narrative choice to place her there and have that be her end didn’t really give her anything she didn’t already have. She had nothing to prove.

I have a hard time really laying out my thoughts on Steve without launching into the pregnant absence of Bucky, but I’m going to try. Chris Evans did a good job being the emotional heart of a really fractured story with a lot of conflicting pieces. Seeing him lead a talk therapy session after The Snap seemed very out of character for him until one realizes that Sam isn’t there to lead it himself. His scene offering help to Natasha was another good scene between them proving that not every m/f relationship has to be sexual to be interesting or add to the plot. His leadership speech during the Stupid Fucking Slow-Mo Heroes’ Walk to the platform was well done and makes me think of what could have been for the MCU, if they’d ever just let them be a cohesive found-family team for twenty minutes and let them fight some doom-bots or something. Fuck. Imagine.

Something weirdly satisfying about the deceitful ‘hail hydra’ line in the elevator. Yes? Yes.

The hammer scene was satisfying to me without being too gratuitous, but I’ll acknowledge that some people weren’t into it. Having paid more attention to Steve’s arc than most, I’ll argue that he earned it several times over.

His ending - that is, the secret life he alludes to but doesn’t explicitly reveal to Sam - is earned too. I’ve read at least one thing saying that Steve’s arc was all about him learning to let go, but that’s... never what Steve does. Not at the end of any arc, of any comic story, does Steve let go. Not of his principles, not of the people he loves, he is always “Thinking... Thinking About Bucky!” and getting in fights he can’t necessarily win. So I don’t think his final ending is ever Learning to Let Go. I think it’s fair that it’s Just Once, Just This One Time, Getting What You Want And Getting To Enjoy It.

And now I’m backtracking to Bucky. I’ve read one article already that theorizes that Steve’s arc, which was highly prioritized, included literally as little direct interaction with Bucky as possible because... the MCU? the Russos? Marvel?...  is aware that Steve/Bucky is the most popular same-sex ship in the MCU. And that’s tiresome as fuck but I think there’s some truth to it. I wonder if, like in Civil War, we’ll hear later from the actors that a lot of contextual one-on-one scenes were shot and then mysteriously cut from the final edit.

I will say that in my head, Bucky is relaxed when Steve goes back in time for the final time, and lets Sam goes to talk with Steve one-on-one at the bench, because Bucky is not worried if Steve will come back, and does not feel a need to check on Steve on the bench. Because, like Peggy, Bucky has been getting secret visits too. Maybe as far back as during his time in Wakanda, but certainly since the final fight with Thanos. Bucky was calm because he already knew. He didn’t miss Steve because Steve hadn’t given him an opportunity to do so.

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