#because i actually rly like how this looks
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first page 🧎🏻♂️ of many 🧎🏻♂️🧎🏻♂️🧎🏻♂️
#also will probably add some color i’m still deciding. i think i want to finish alllll the outlining first thought#though*#because i actually rly like how this looks#but i’m worried he looks too gansey like lmao which is why i want to color it a bit….#also love giving blue her gold jewelry and colorful clips <333#my wip#trc
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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81 pics in my part 30 folder, 38 made it into the chapter itself 😂
i might cut down the sexy stuff, idk, the chapter is 7.2k words before editing lmfao, and when i edit i usually add more to each scene
but also who is gonna complain about a longer sex scene? 😂
much 2 ponder
gonna try to get this edited over the weekend!!! 😤
catch up before the next chapter drops~!
#mine#ts2#sims 2#the sims 2#sims#simblr#ofmd#gentlebeard#ofmd sims#breathing underwater#mermaids#me looking at ed's back like hmmm something is missing........#lmfao i took off the trust no one on his back because i was like idk why mermaid ed would have human writing on him.....#idk in my mind merfolk know the human languages that are common around their habitat and can speak them#but most don't bother to learn to read it#i actually had a whole different plan for ed to turn human pre s2#and it involved lucius sending messages in bottles and fang being able to read them because he actually used to be human#and he was going to teach ed how to change w mermadic kelp (sims universe stuff)#but thankfully s2 gave me a much better way to do this#but anyway i have all these Thoughts abt mermaids and their language and how they communicate underwater but i can't rly Articulate them#sso many ideas in my head and no way to make them into words 😔#maybe someday i wont ramble on and on in the tags#but not today!!!!!!
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What year is it
#total drama#tdi#tdi noah#total drama noah#td noah#my art#ok i am so ashamed of myself because#for the book. that is the opening passage of moby dick.#my 'party trick' for the past 17 years has been that i memorized that passage and could recite it#but i had to look it up and double check it for this drawing.#because i forgot the coffin warehouses part.#i am a SHAM#also didn't rly like how i interpreted his hair but it's growing on me now actually ayyyy
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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... Will you guys please let me talk about hgduo/gossipduo/mockingjays/ whatever they are called a little more pleaseeeeeeeeee, they make me unwell and I want to get my thoughts about them out of my head- or more specifically about them from Bad's point of view!
There's a familial air to it, but it's just not true to define it like that- and that doesn't make what they DO have any less powerful or significant- They have a unique bond and that continues to be true, even during painful times like this.
Cellbit WAS Bad's responsibility at one point, and that time came and went- he got him through the war and into adulthood ( aka 18 years old or close to it.) They meet again as old friends and generally respect each other as such... but even so Bad can't deny he still feels some duty to watch over the man once he starts crumbling- much like how Cellbit as well can't help but reach out to Bad during this time.
but there's limits.
like- Bad for years had and still wants to protect Cellbit, he's had an influence on him, he taught him how to survive, he himself acknowledges he has some responsibility over Cellbit, looking at Cellbit right now feels like looking in a mirror, he doesn't like having to give up on him, but if it's between him and the kids he's choosing the kids every time... and he knows there is no simple way to save someone who refuses to let themself be saved.
And it hurts! It hurts seeing Cellbit like this! It hurts having to let him burn! It hurts watching someone he cares for falling down the same path he is! It hurts knowing he's hurting others the way it did for him seeing Cellbit like this! It hurts having to choose his kids over his protege/ student/ former responsibility/ the kid he watched over years ago/ old friend/ his 'something'!
Like, cc!Bad brought up this internal mental tier list that q!Bad has- I still deeply believe that q!Cellbit is quite high up there even if he'll never be at the level his kids are at- like he loves Cellbit enough that he ACTUALLY CONSIDERED putting parts of his months long plan at risk to save him- even if it was just during the stress of that moment that still means a LOT from Bad- but he was always going to choose his kids in the end!
Based on what I know of q!Bad (which is admitably not a lot lol) there is next to nothing that'd convince him to give up on his kids- with Cellbit he's able to see that he can't help him because Cellbit sadly does not want to be saved- and for Bad that means he simply has to accept it even if he really doesn't like it- the emotions from that night have processed and he's looking at the situation from a more logical and resolute perspective. If it means him and Cellbit may one day clash, then with a heavy sigh so be it....
but if it was Dapper or Pomme... I just don't feel certain in saying he'd be able to come to that conclusion, especially not after one night. Even if it would be the 'smart' thing to do. It's one of the key differences between the dynamic he has with them vs Cellbit...
But, in a perfect situation, he would've done everything to save them both.
Anyway thanks for reading, posting this at hell hours so my beloved mutuals won't see my hgduo ramblings but tagging this anyway for other people to see LMAO-
#mockingjays#hgduo#gossipduo#qsmp#badboyhalo#cellbit#God it's honestly a major problem how in love with this dynamic I am because I rly don't feel like I know shit about Bad or Cellbit LOL#like I enjoy both of their characters a lot but I feel so uncertain about actually ever talking about them- I enjoy them a LOT#but I don't think I have the best grasp on them as characters compared to others- wish I did though!#esp. Cellbit despite having been in love with his character since he joined- hence why I talk more about Bad's point of view LOL#wish I knew more Portuguese so I could 'get' q!Cellbit more I love him </3#I always feel scared talking about them because their other fans just get them way better then I do- I'm just hyperfixing over one aspect!#one last comment I do generally feel like they have a similar view of one another of like-but recently I feel like Cellbit wants to view Ba#as something closer to a parental figure- consciously or not- but he still doesn't see him as family- at least not in his past#They were two dudes doing whatever it took to survive- but still he was a child and Bad was the adult he looked up to!#longpost
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i’m sorry but it’s so funny to think that mint still delivers his joke blatantly while ignoring qi’s try-hard ass to get the answer right fshdhs [x]
#fhsdhsdhshshsd i like to think qi doesn't like to be angry because it's a waste of time and unefficient for his work and productivity#but there's mint who always able to pull his last straw without intentionally trying to do so fsh#fhshdshdshsh this incorrect quote still kills me; it feels rly canon to me#mtap mint#mtas qi#my time at portia#my time at sandrock#fanart#but with qi actually look up for the answer because he is competitive like that#as how my impression of him is; because sandrock is still not available for me to play on switch
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Welcome to the “they’re just like me fr (derogatory)” club featuring no color because I would rather die than draw Sif with color
#keese draws#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#jackie stern#oxygen not included#ignore how I made sif look comically tiny I didn’t mean to even if I’m right#also the (derogatory) mostly applies to just jackie but sif made me remember I have hashtag issues so he gets a lil too#I do deeply adore both of them I just like jackie more because she’s a terrible person#which in turn means I bully her harder#I wish I could imagine fun interactions between sif and her or olivia but alas I don’t think it’d be very interesting#jackie would not be interested in talking to sif and olivia as much as I love her isn’t a very interesting conversationalist lol#I’d still enjoy watching her and sif interact but I feel like sif would get kinda overwhelmed by her technical questions#same with jackie if she actually did talk to them but I think she’d be more keen to seek the scientists of their world#and then she’s like this time craft needing immense power thing is bullshit I did it and it generates infinite power all by itself#and then she blows up this planet too to prove her point or smth#but yeah there’s smth deeply wrong with these guys I think they should die horrifically over and over again#but alas that only happens to one of them 😔#I’d love to put jackie in a timeloop she’d actually probably be actively happy for the first maybe few months but once she starts to crack#she’d just spiral soooo bad and shes absolutely incapable of self reflecting so her ass is not escaping#rly the most interesting question of looping jackie to me is how long would it take her to even for a second think she might have done a#single thing wrong in her life lol#sif vc aw shit I just messed smth small up time to have a breakdown over it#jackie vc wtf why did the earth blow up this must be dr.techna’s fault
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pastel goth bat (he/it) and morten (they/he) because why the hell not
it's fun to dress up our ocs like dolls sometimes
#low stakes 🦇#my art#context is that i typed in bat's name into one of those shindan maker generators and one of the lines gave me fashion: pastel goth#and this was kinda in a discord server#and we were all talking about how bad/well the randomly generated fashion styles suited our ocs#and i wanted to try drawing some of the ones i got#starting with pastel goth bat because honestly what would that even look like. so i tried that#then morten just kinda happened to tag along! as one does! mostly because i rly wanted to draw them like this too#for a while actually#also yes. morten Will mess with their hair more as they settle into their vampirism a bit. it'll be fine#their default will always be that blue tomboyish sidetails cut so it will always return to that#much like how einarr always returns to long white blond no matter what he does#vampire hair is just like that. permanent. unchanging.#bat didn't wanna do anything to his hair for this drawing lol he has boundaries#there is an alt version in my files where he does have white hair tho#i mean. it could still be a wig#but w/e#u can ask if you really want to see it
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why are like 95% of genshin mlm ships so boring and cliche😭
#idk they feel so dull lol#the only mlm ships i like are the scara ships (kazuscara and chiscara) i feel like that’s because scara has such a fun personality and#character design also his colour palette looks so nice with any character#i like kaebedo ofc but they don’t count because they’re not rly popular and have like 0.5 in game material lol#but everything else is so dull#like zhongli/childe kaveh/al haitham ayato/thoma the fontaine guys idk their names#SOOOOO BORING …#wait but i did have a ayato/itto phase they are actually super cute 😭😭😭 i love their dynamic it’s so adorable i would love for more ayaitto#i love how ayaitto compliment eachother it makes so much sense and thoma rly does just feel like a sweet friend honestly i love him for tha#lowkey miss inazuma now lol#WHEREAS most of the wlw ships are soooo fun#idk man like beiguang eimiko while not my favourite ever they are still super fun and cute and i like seeing them#they don’t feel boring lol#i think it’s because i already like their characters individually#plus shenjin and guiping#they’re all so cute#the women of genshin impact are so nicely written now that i think abt it#there’s also lumine/heat and ayalumi#*JEHT NOT HEAT WTF#KOKOSARA beloveds#dehya and dunyazard#not rly a fan of the fontaine girls tho they look kinda basic lol#don’t take this post too seriously i’m just rambling lol
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when i said that mha ripped off naruto (which i said only to piss off mha stans anyway) I didn't mean to sound like i was praising naruto. it was actually more like a sigh of disappointment, a reaction to seeing that all the problems that naruto had as a show transpired trough mha too and i was tired because watching naruto was enough for me but then i realized that my problem actually is that i can no longer stand watching shonen anime and i chose not to tire myself by cringing at the repetitive tropes and cliches anymore
#demon slayer falls under the same category sadly#actually it was more a combination of these 2 that made me realize that i had enough of this genre#me judging other shonen having as reference only naruto#but look! i watched both mha and demon slayer and my personal point was proven that i would get bored by them#(with the exception of some rare moments that were really good in mha but the bad and cringe moments made me forget abt them)#like i remember crying bcs this dude who trained deku died but then i remembered that a few episodes earlier he ''punished''#one of his female students by tying her up a ledge and tickling her with a feather :|#LIKE WHY DID YOU NEED TO PUT THAT IN THE STORY? HORIKOSHI OR WHATEVER THE MANGAKA'S NAME IS#WHY YOU FELT THE NEED TO ADD THAT IN???#and then you tried to make me feel sorry for the guy too?#that was such a jiraya death moment like they were playing it a sad but all i could think abt was ''rip bozo''#not saying that other anime don't have cringe moments. even moments that i had to skip because of how gruesome they were#but they sorta make sense in the big picture of the story? but other characters experience it too not just a category of people? idk#also it's funny how pissed mha stans get for having their show insulted like#when i tell ppl that my fave anime/manga are evangelion; black lagoon#and berserk they look at me like i deserve to be put in an electric chair#like they are right but at the same time i find it funny and i rly don't care#but these guys always go bananas if you insult their fav show as if you broke the geneva convention#i'd say that it's because the majority of the fans are children but i know for a fact that they are not 😭
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I CAN DO THIS!!!! I CAN LEARN TO BE A THEATER DESIGNER!!!! YES I AM JUST STARTING OUT AND DOING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! THATS CUZ IT IS A TRADE AND YOU LEARN A TRADE BY PRACTICING!!!!! SO I AM GOING TO PRACTICE DAMMIT!!!!
#i am realizing i have the capacity to be rly ambitious and hardworking when it’s something i care about#which i didn’t think i did. because adhd and academic struggles and such#but another side effect of caring a lot about this is i am rly disappointed and worried when i feel like i’m not doing well enough#which is a feeling i think most people get academically#but i turned that feeling off in my brain for a long time cuz again. at a certain point i was academically struggling#and i couldn’t be disappointed anymore#like it was just less stressful to care a little less#which i am currently experiencing in my classes right now actually. need to deal with that#anyway#idk i keep finding out how much i don’t know about theater design and then feeling so so embarrassed#and thinking i might be a fraud#but then people look at my work and they say nice things and i am deciding to take that to heart!!!#and just hope that they’re right#it’s existential about career hours rn#also mandatory acknowledgement that i’m privileged for even considering an artistic careen#and i’m definitely gonna be living off ice soup if i try to make this happen#uh. that is all . yeah#ok yk what i should probably be a theater professor#that is definitely the biggest way i’ve seen theater professionals get regular gigs (on college shows) and make enough money to live#and also have access to massive prop and set collections!!!!!#which is what it’s really all about baybeeee#ok that is all goodnjght#theater#career#rambling
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agh... kind of worried we might not have the money to afford rent tomorrow... and since my parents paid late yesterday from my sister taking the car and they're mad at us and said they'll kick us out if we don't pay by 11 tomorrow. agh...
once again hate to ask for money but if anyone has any to spare... just in case it's needed... because like i said if it's 11 tomorrow and it's not paid then it's Over and i will in fact be on the streets 😔 and then if it's not needed i'll still have it in case of emergencies!!! and i can even give it back once i'm financially stable if wanted i prommy
#( 💭 faun thinks )#additionally i feel terrible lately but maybe i rly will try to do some commissions because i need money. terribly. in case of emergencies#like this#and until i find my id i can't apply for any more jobs :/ OH and storage isn't paid so i can't even go look for it again#terrible situation to be in... Again#gahhhh.... so depressed lately altho i try not to dwell on it :/#can't believe after 3 1/2 years of this crap i'm back to it... i miss having a house i want to have a room again :(#and a place to go sit outside :( and a kitchen :( and privacy :(#and not the fear of being on the streets again :(#being on the streets wasn't so bad when we were in a truck i could sleep in the back of at night#but now we do not have a truck so i'd be screwed and i'm too autistic to go to a homeless shelter i might actually kms#it also makes me angry but there's no point dwelling on it anymore it'll just make me more upset#anyway also i just remembered i do have a switch i could sell if i'm really desperate#i don't particularly want to but i will if i have to. i barely use it anyway.#idk how well it'd sell with switch 2 coming out but better than nothing
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Touya apologizing to Shoto? Touya-nii would never.
All jokes aside I’m running back to the Touya-nii universe after this ending because I am… not a fan of it. 🙃 I thought I had prepared myself mentally for whatever Hori had in store but now that I’m seeing it for myself I just feel even more angry for Touya. It doesn’t feel like justice for him.
HAHAHA literally exactly what i said too, yes!!!!! he’s shouting weaaaaak! at canon touya, and while his voice is strong and harsh and stone cold, his eyes are glazed with the thinnest layer of tears—so thin you can only see them when the light catches on his eyes juuust right.
no i completely agree. i talked about it a little bit here but yeah, i’m really upset with the way everything is being handled. it just feels so insanely disrespectful. i could write you a whole essay on how upset i am and why i’m so upset but i am just so tired of talking about it LMAO ugh ._. well, at least we got shaggy-haired touya :( who looks exactly like my touya-nii does :( if nothing else, that’s one positive from this chapter!!
#i spent like#ALL of thursday just ranting to my friends about this chapter#i'm rly rly upset with how this is being handled#i wanted touya to die because i felt like it was the best ending to his story (so if he IS actually dying i'm happy abt that)#but hori's going about it in the worst way possible ://#like it's so disrespectful TO THE CHARACTER you know what i mean???#it feels like it spits in the face of everything touya's been through in his entire life#now he's literally fucking trapped#he can't move he can't get away he can't do ANYTHING but sit there as they talk at him#his autonomy has been completely robbed from him#they preserved him from the battlefield and are prolonging his inevitable death just so THEY can talk to him like#it's beyond selfish#ugh see look i'm going off#i told u i could write an essay LMAOOO#anyway ._. i'm sorry we're getting this ending#it's better than touya living or touya being reconstructed (truly my biggest fear) but yeah ._.#sending so much love your way sweetpea#this sucks!!!!#staple chan#clari gets mail
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baby baby baby
clings to you like a koala hello my girlfriend
#im so tired#exam tmr is everything we took this sem for that class & its So Much#and so many different things .is the prof ok#u know those psychology stuff that u only rly memorise after years of practice#its all that#i think i need to fistfight this prof &all her ta’s#and its devpsy too idk man some people shouldnt go near children ever#i think all of their interest is in research and not actually the kids . like u can just tell#people who look at children like theyre lab rats need to be shot#anyway . this is the same class i got zeroes in because they said im lying abt my assignments#oh well i gave up but still trying to at least get a passing grade tmr 🧍#how are u . kisses you on the mouth#mail#danny
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Time for more eternal gales isat au, this time featuring Sier as Isabeau, creating a sprite I can never use next to Aris’ because despite my best efforts it would make them look tall
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc#oc art#isat#in stars and time#this one didn’t take nearly as long as the aris one but I think I suffered for it more from the clothes alone#siffrin made me forget I suck at drawing clothes rip#this was also harder because of how much trickier it was to try and adapt siers design to feel fitting enough for my standards#they have a very stylized design compared to most of the others#I kind of took the lazy route out by keeping most of their original shapes in tact but it’s fine#sier in this au would serve the needed role of emotionally intelligent bestie who is also too scared to cross boundaries to do much#but despite this I do think they’d actually get the suspicion quest in this au#mostly because mase is a furry artist not a nerd and sier would be more likely to look at aris and go bro. are you in a fucking timeloop.#it also differs in that aris doesn’t yell at sier abt it instead looping before they can finish because she can’t handle hearing them be#right on the money about this thing that she thought she was handling perfectly#she doesn’t want to fail them she doesn’t want them to realize she’s failed them she doesn’t want to be a burden she doesn’t want them to#‘realize’ they’re better off without her#aris is Incredibly resistant to accepting help on most serious issues because shes convinced that it’s her responsibility to deal with it#by herself and that if she can’t then she’s a failure and worse than useless#I mean in canon eternal gales she literally loses her eye and arm because of that#in this au she just lost them how sif lost his eye but she still has. complexes abt all that.#but yeah sier also differs wildly from isa in many Many other ways as does the rest of the cast from their assigned characters#for sier they rly aren’t the jock of the group at all instead being more of the guy who keeps the mood lighthearted at all times lest they#die of stress because the others haven’t said anything in a whole 30 seconds#aka they’re the self assigned peacekeeper who doesn’t actually need to constantly keep the peace because no one’s fighting but they still#feel like they need to so they dance and dance and dance for their friends until they collapse from exhaustion#metaphorically ofc#this is why they’re both terrified to confront aris when she starts acting a bit fucked up but also why they still do sometimes anyways#they talk abt this a lil bit in their friend quest as they talk abt how they want to change but are scared to
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