#one last comment I do generally feel like they have a similar view of one another of like-but recently I feel like Cellbit wants to view Ba

[bistaxx]

... Will you guys please let me talk about hgduo/gossipduo/mockingjays/ whatever they are called a little more pleaseeeeeeeeee, they make me unwell and I want to get my thoughts about them out of my head- or more specifically about them from Bad's point of view!

There's a familial air to it, but it's just not true to define it like that- and that doesn't make what they DO have any less powerful or significant- They have a unique bond and that continues to be true, even during painful times like this.

Cellbit WAS Bad's responsibility at one point, and that time came and went- he got him through the war and into adulthood ( aka 18 years old or close to it.) They meet again as old friends and generally respect each other as such... but even so Bad can't deny he still feels some duty to watch over the man once he starts crumbling- much like how Cellbit as well can't help but reach out to Bad during this time.

but there's limits.

like- Bad for years had and still wants to protect Cellbit, he's had an influence on him, he taught him how to survive, he himself acknowledges he has some responsibility over Cellbit, looking at Cellbit right now feels like looking in a mirror, he doesn't like having to give up on him, but if it's between him and the kids he's choosing the kids every time... and he knows there is no simple way to save someone who refuses to let themself be saved.

And it hurts! It hurts seeing Cellbit like this! It hurts having to let him burn! It hurts watching someone he cares for falling down the same path he is! It hurts knowing he's hurting others the way it did for him seeing Cellbit like this! It hurts having to choose his kids over his protege/ student/ former responsibility/ the kid he watched over years ago/ old friend/ his 'something'!

Like, cc!Bad brought up this internal mental tier list that q!Bad has- I still deeply believe that q!Cellbit is quite high up there even if he'll never be at the level his kids are at- like he loves Cellbit enough that he ACTUALLY CONSIDERED putting parts of his months long plan at risk to save him- even if it was just during the stress of that moment that still means a LOT from Bad- but he was always going to choose his kids in the end!

Based on what I know of q!Bad (which is admitably not a lot lol) there is next to nothing that'd convince him to give up on his kids- with Cellbit he's able to see that he can't help him because Cellbit sadly does not want to be saved- and for Bad that means he simply has to accept it even if he really doesn't like it- the emotions from that night have processed and he's looking at the situation from a more logical and resolute perspective. If it means him and Cellbit may one day clash, then with a heavy sigh so be it....

but if it was Dapper or Pomme... I just don't feel certain in saying he'd be able to come to that conclusion, especially not after one night. Even if it would be the 'smart' thing to do. It's one of the key differences between the dynamic he has with them vs Cellbit...

But, in a perfect situation, he would've done everything to save them both.

Anyway thanks for reading, posting this at hell hours so my beloved mutuals won't see my hgduo ramblings but tagging this anyway for other people to see LMAO-

[doomedtoxicyaoi]

This post just started out as a joke, but I ended up just writing out way more than I thought. Basically, enjoy this Doflamingo character analysis kinda. Feel free to comment your own thoughts.

I've been thinking about this Tumblr post in reference to One Piece, specifically the Donquixote Family calling Doffy "young master".

I can't understand the nuances of the original Japanese text, so if this is just a strange translation choice, then ignore this, but I wanted to check if this is true for English and apparently it is. "Young master" is not what you refer to the head of a household. Usually, the butler or servant or whatever calls the actual patriarch Mr. _____, so in this case it should be Mr. Donquixote. "Young Master" is the title used for the eldest son who has not come of age yet. So that fact that many of the family still refer to Doffy as young master in his early 40s is almost paramount to calling him a man-child.

If it is deliberate, there could be a couple of reasons for this. For starters, Doffy hasn't 'reclaimed' his celestial dragon status. He was stripped of it as a child, so in a way he's never 'claimed' his status as the head of the Donquixote Household. The last time he was someone with that power was when he was 8, the eldest son of Donquixote Homing. There's also the reply that mentioned how Mr.___ will generally be what the person's father was called. So the title of Mr. Donquixote might permanently be associated with Homing, and we know by now that Doffy hates his dad. I find this pretty plausible too, especially since the idea of fatherhood itself seems to be tainted for Doffy. He almost exclusively refers to subordinates as being like his 'younger siblings' rather than his children. It makes more sense when you consider the ages of the characters, because the designs make it really hard to tell sometimes.

You have characters like Law being 13 and looking like Nami was when she was 8 (probably because of the disease stunting his growth and also Oda draws most children the same) and then you have Corazon and Doflamingo being like 10ft tall but in their 20s.

Like you could easily mistake these two for being a picture of a parent and their kid just based on design alone. Not to mention that Doffy knew them since they were children, and with Dellinger since he was literally a baby. Even if he's only 17 years older than Baby 5 and 15 years older than Law, (Corazon is only 13 years older than Law like it would be worrying if that was his son 😭) They do both take over kind of a guardian role. Sometimes older siblings basically become parents to their younger siblings because their actual parents are unavailable (in this case dead). And in a mafia sense, usually the boss is the "father" of the group. Bege for instance is called 'father' by his subordinates and has a similar mafia style gang that views each other as a pseudo-family.

Despite all this, he never refers to himself as a father or puts himself in that position. Even the executives that raised him (or I guess in Trebol's case pretty much groomed him) are never his 'parents'; they're just his 'family'.

While two of the other executives were around his age Pica(9) and Vergo (10), Diamante (16) and Trebol (18) were older than him (Trebol being 18 is pretty much considered an adult in One Piece) they were all still technically teenagers or kids. I doubt this was actually the inspiration, but I always saw his time with the gang when he was young as more of a Peter Pan and the Lost Boys situation, except in this case Peter Pan doesn't stay a child forever. Or even a kind of Lord of the Flies scenario. His main authority figures were both gone, one dying when he was 8 and the other being pretty ineffective to the point that he killed him two years later. He basically raised himself with the influence of people never telling him no, so it kinda makes sense that he's still an entitled brat.

His desire for control stems from the fact that he feels he hasn't had control of his life since he was a kid. Children usually just have to go along with the adults in their lives, and because of their immaturity and powerlessness, can resent them for this. It's not the same severity, but take a kid whose parents get divorced. There could be no real person at fault, or maybe the parents could have handled it better but they are trying their best. Even so, kids can come to hate one or more of them because they their parents to make their lives better since they can't really understand them being flawed people till they mature.

For Doflamingo, his dad failed them because of his decision to bring them to live among the humans and then his inability to fix the situation. As readers, we know Homing had good intentions and there wasn't a ton he could do in that situation, but he was also the main authority figure to his children. The way Oda wrote the flashback chapter, we hear the story unfold through Doffyh questioning his dad. He starts off confused but still respecting his father enough to go along with it, and slowly as things get out of control, he starts to hate him for their situation.

We don't see Homing stealing food with Doffy and Roci, instead it's Doffy who is looking after his brother and telling Roci to hurry up before they get caught. They are together when they get beaten but their dad isn't present. They are the ones who get food for their mom when she is sick. It's definitely possible their dad was trying to do something other than his failed attempt to get them back home which Doffy overhears (and is the only one to overhear in the Manga as opposed to the anime which has them all hear it). But from what we see, once things stop going the way he expected it, he just kinda gives up. This all culminates in the moment they get captured, which Homing doesn't seem to fight back with and instead just pleads with the townspeople.

He holds onto his kids, and while Roci just clings to his dad, Doffy seems to be trying to fight his way out of his grip. The anger which basically shapes the rest of his goals in the entire arc stem from his anger at being humiliated and made helpless by people he views as lesser than him. Along with the betrayal that the man he trusted to look after him has ruined his life.

Even Rocinante seems to have subconsciously learned from this. When he's with Law, he beats up hospital staff and sets the buildings on fire. He is willing to fight people for the person he is looking after. He knows he can't just plead with people to stop so he takes action instead. I don't think Homing was trying to be a bad father, but his actions definitely wounded both his kids in different ways and while Rocinante strikes a better balance between hating the world around him and being completely at its mercy by being kind but ready to fight, Doflamingo just sees everyone around him as a threat or a pest.

Even if the overall story of Dressrosa is less interesting in my opinion than the Law section, it definitely ties into the overall themes very well, IMO. King Riku is the pacifist King who is taken advantage of by the cruelty of Doflamingo. Kyros is someone who started off violent and hating the world but healed through his connection to those around him. But the guilt he carries from his previous actions leads him to hate himself and feel unable to even hold his child. When he teaches Rebecca to fight, he only wants her to do so defensively and ultimately she stops having to be a fighter once he returns and she has friends to support her. The dichotomy between the cruelty of the world and people wanting to be pacifist and kind sometimes going awry is very interesting.

Furthermore, consider Doffy's desire the Perenial Youth operation. Depending on the translation, different people have different ideas of what this is/does. From what I gather, its main purpose is to make you young forever so you don't die of old age. Whether or not this also makes you immune to damage is up for debate, but the idea of living forever is interesting. Being an ageless being is generally something associated with divinity, and since Doflamingo has a mega God-Complex stemming from both his celestial dragon upbringing and the enabling of Trebol and co, getting something like this makes sense. There is also another ageless character introduced in Dressrosa, Sugar, who no longer ages and is permanently stuck being physially a child despite actually being 22.

There's even theories that suggest Imu is a child because of their behaviour, size, and mannerisms (and we still have no idea what they look like). To me, this feels like there is a correlation between being immortal, godlike beings, but forever stuck as a child. In Doffy's case, it's more mentally than physically because as many people clown on him for, his hairline has deteriorated along with his mental stability.

All of Dressrosa is basically one big temper tantrum after Luffy took away all his toys. Even the one marine he actually respects/fears is just an older woman who calls him a good boy if he behaves 😭

So the fact that he's basically never grown up since he was 10, because of the experiences that pretty much mentally scarred him and the influences by everyone else, is almost reflected by his title. The title itself also being one more instance of a remnant of his previous life that he still clings to despite it being something that is and has been unattainable since he was a literal child.

[aeskairo]

I mean... I am a person without a lot of attachments. I don't have a lot of trust in people, and I generally view people as simply everybody on their own path.

So then when I read other people's interpretations of gk, I'm often confused because I don't really understand where they're coming from.

For example, the idea of loyalty seem to be really important to a lot of other fans. Ogata is interpreted by almost everyone as a untrustworthy, with no loyalties.

But I don't understand why anyone in this story needs to have loyalties or why loyalty is even a good thing.

Everybody has completely different motivations and wants.

Tsurumi wants to split off a piece of the military, and use it to regain territory in Russia Where his wife and child are buried.

Hijikata says that he is looking to revive the Republic of Ezo, but actually he doesn't have the resources, or the time to do that so really he's looking for one last great battle and to die under that banner rather than to set up and new independent political entity.

Shiraishi has no real goals and just likes his friends and would love to get some money out of it. He later takes on Boutarou's goal.

Ogata has no real concrete achievable goal and is looking for an abstract sense of worth.

Sugimoto also has no real concrete goal and is using the gold hunt to avoid confronting the fact that he really has no place to return to. He says he has to get the money before he returns to ume, but this is just a prerequisite he set for himself, to delay returning. Ume isn't waiting for him, has no idea that he's out trying to get the money for her, and doesn't even know if he's alive. Despite all of the importance that he places on returning to her, he is a non-entity in her life, in the same way that Ogata is a non-entity in his father's life. The similarities and differences between Ogata and sugimoto is best left for another post.

Asirpa...... is a 12-year-old girl and is still trying to make sense of the world.

Many of the soldiers don't have any goals of their their own other than following orders or impressing their commander. People like Inenaga, ushiyama don't really have any aspirations for the gold. They just seem to be along for the ride since they have map tattoos.

My point is....

These are all clearly people with individual and completely different goals, to which the gold is just a means to an end. So I don't understand why loyalty is considered important, in fact I don't understand why it's a thing at all.

So given that ..... I don't understand why Ogata is considered a disloyal betrayer....

When I read comments by other readers, it really feels like there's an expectation that these groups be a found family of sorts. A place of trust and loyalty where people support and mentor each other and it makes no sense to me.

Like that's something you expect from the military. Members of the military are supposed to be brothers in against a common enemy led by a father figure and it is explicitly pointed out that this is not the case.

People bully each other, sometimes severely. The father figure is self-interested and the only sees his men as pawns. There are shifting loyalties and factions with their own goals in the same unit. The military is not a family substitute. Gold hunt groups are not a family substitute. Even family do not present the kind of loyal loving support that people seem to expect.

So I just..... I straight up have no understanding of why Ogata is considered to be a betrayer, because I don't understand how loyalty is a thing here. I mean to me, the very concept of loyalty in this story seems to be a lie used to manipulate people seeking identity and belonging, and have them be willing to die for the group.

When I look around on forums and discussions it seems like most people do not share this interpretation. People interpret media and events is through the lens of their own experiences. And I actually keep wondering if I'm missing something huge. Like if other people interpret loyalty in a totally different more meaningful way, what are their experiences that support this belief?

Just Curious

TLDR: this is not a story about found family as much as you want it to be. Instead it's about each person finding a place for themselves....not everyone is looking for a family.

Edit: I guess this is sort of meta. The reason I have this interpretation because I have a long history of working for corporations, and despite the found family culture that they try to create and all the team building exercises, people are constantly gunning for each other, trying to get people fired, taking credit for other people's work, making people look bad in front of management to elevate their own status, trying to jump ship and go to other companies in the same industry with proprietary knowledge... so my take on this whole story is that..."this is simply how people operate."

Like I've been on team building exercises with the company where everybody an outdooring trip and bonds over canoeing, and then immediately the next day people get back to trying to get each other fired.

That's just how people are. People form connections over all sorts of things, but that doesn't mean that they aren't out for themselves or that the connection will always exist, or that the connection is deep or that the person is loyal to you.

[yanderes-galore]

Can I ask for a yandere platonic injustice Superman and Batman with vigilante reader that doesn't want to be part of any sides

Sure! I'll talk a little about them :) This could go for either platonic or romantic but it leaned more towards platonic for you. Only their motive would change if they were romantic. This felt too tame for me but this was mostly me commenting on generally how things could go.

Yandere! Platonic! Superman vs Yandere! Platonic! Batman

(INJUSTICE)

Pairing: Platonic - Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective yanderes, Violence, Manipulation, Stalking implied, Kidnapping, Murder mention.

This is not the first time these two have been pitched against one another.

I do think this is one of the more intense times they've fought.

Both Batman and Superman are stubborn with their beliefs.

They both would want to protect their darling from the evil of the world but in different ways.

They're stubborn and oblivious to the pain they cause you.

In a way they're more alike than you'd think, just one's a god among men due to his powers.

I feel in any other world, Superman would be the one trying to be considerate.

Not in this one.

I feel what makes this worse is you're a vigilante who isn't on either side.

A neutral party if you will.

Which to them simply won't do.

In this universe these two are under the belief that they're the right side.

The fact you want nothing to do with either of them is frustrating.

It makes you an unknown party, a possible threat if the other side gets their hands on you.

You hate them both for your own reasons.

Maybe you see their argument as stupid or are upset at the destruction of Metropolis.

Either way you don't want to deal with them.

It'll only lead to more pointless fighting.

Despite how you see the situation the two sides keep a close eye on you.

I don't doubt you'll encounter other "heroes" talking to you to convince you of a certain side.

Yet you say you don't agree on Superman's dictator-like views or Batman's no kill rule.

Or something along the lines of that.

You keep saying you want nothing to do with them, that there must be a better way than all of this.

I wouldn't put it past either of them to talk to you in person to convince you or just straight up kidnap you.

Superman would be the one to murder, Batman still would not.

Their messages to you are mostly the same, that they're in the right, but it never convinces you.

What may hurt even more is you've probably met with both of them before.

It hurts to see Superman so corrupt when he was so nice before.

Batman's just grown more paranoid and delusional since you last met him and it concerns you.

You hate that they've changed, so you try to distance yourself from them.

Yet they can't handle that.

In terms of how they see you, in this concept they probably see you as an apprentice or kid, maybe even just a friend they want to be a good influence to since this is platonic.

Now that the League has been torn, they are fighting for who gets to continue associating with you, among other things.

They both would be the type who'd want to lock you away from "the evil of this world".

Batman tries to keep to his traditional ways, hiding you from Superman and caring for you like he's done before.

Superman is more aggressive than Batman, being the one who'd murder thousands if it meant he had you.

Superman believes he has to kill in order to protect you.

He needs to cleanse this world because he doesn't wish to lose you.

A fear of losing you is another trait they share.

A lot of this rivalry shows the duality of Batman and Superman.

They're very similar, it just depends on who would go further to achieve their goals.

Batman would hide you in darkness and ignore your pleas because he feels going off the grid will protect you.

He understands you'll hate him at first, but he's trying to preserve you.

Superman would lock you away but not entirely feel he has to hide you.

Any threat that would try to take you away from him would probably end up dead.

Superman doesn't mind the sight of blood if it means protecting the people he loves.

Both of them have lost people they care about.

They both want the same if not similar things for you... they want you safe and under their care.

If only they could agree with one another.

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Good/Complicated Mom Deirta

This week, we've got ten fics that feature a Deirta Thelyss as either a good - or at least complicated mother. Check them out underneath the cut, and comment and kudos if you like them!

What Luminous Worlds Await by essektheyless (divinationwizard) (178674, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn

After a thousand years of sleep, the Luxon's Champion reawakens to a changed Exandria. The memory of Caleb is ever present, the soul of his mother is tucked in the beacon he carries, and Leylas' madness is tumbling the world toward war again.

Reccer says: The second person narrative gives this such an immediacy! This fic makes me wish I could temporarily forget everything I know about CR so I could try reading it completely fresh; I think it would hold up and be a very cool way to be introduced to the world.

some things time can't fix by Chrome (25930, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek is arrested for treason. The Dynasty severs the daemons of prisoners before executing them so they can’t be reborn.

Reccer says: great hurt comfort and an AU, but also a nice depiction of a caring Deirta

Lay Your Bones by LadyOrpheus (53578, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Thinking only of justice and restoring his family's honor after Essek's betrayal, Verin Thelyss finds something he never expected, an Essek he never expected. A mission for justice turns into a race against time and a family finds their world upended.

Reccer says: I love how complicated Deirta is in this fic - that she's bound by her station but still finding ways to act on Essek's behalf

Not the Needle, Nor the Thread by Operafloozy (2149, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Consecuted Deirta is forced to live with her son from another life, it's Essek, things are complicated.

Reccer says: It's part of a series and I loved the series so much, this installment really focusses on Deirta and Essek and also the hurt they caused eachother and how to continue on now that they are both different people.

(and) i'll come running if you call by vagabondfirelily (6489, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn

Essek goes to Bazzoxan to save Verin. Doing that, he runs into his mother.

Reccer says: It is so bittersweet and so realistic. A very good portray of a complicated relationship between two very similar people. And Verin is there!

until it doesn't hurt by breitweisergallery (3.8k, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

5 times Deirta sends to her sons and one time they send to her

Reccer says: I liked it!

When Broken Shells Make Christmas Bells by LuckyOwlsFoot (12348, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Rape/Non-con, Dubcon/Consensual Non Consent, Non-consensual arranged marriage, threats of rape (nothing explicitly happens)

Essek gets forced into an arranged marriage to avoid execution and Caleb rescues him at the altar.

Reccer says: Lots of Essek angst and comfort and support from Deirta and Verin

a star in your sunset by Laeveteinn (2200, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Discussion or implications of a suicide attempt

When I find you at the foot of the stairs, my first thought is that a stranger is wearing my son’s face, because there is a standing call for Essek Thelyss's arrest the moment he is seen this side of the Ashkeepers.

Reccer says: It's from Deirta's point of view - which feels rare, and the way that the author shows how well Deirta actually knows and loves Essek - how much we can figure out about Essek's emotional state and probable motives - is amazing, especially with how little is said.

And then we have multiple recs for these last two fics!

And After the Scripture (Your Mother Beside Me) by SaltCore (9531, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death

Essek is so very loved - so much so, that when he dies, his mother enlists the Nein to smuggle him out of Rosohna so that he may live again.

Reccer 1 says: What isn't there to like? Deirta gets explored as a mother, as a leader, and as a person. The Drow society gets examined and sketched out, painted with a history that reaches back before the Calamity. We get to see more of the Thelyss family, and we see the respect that these strangers give to the Nein solely based on the fact that Essek loved them. The interactions Deirta have with the Nein (mostly Caleb) highlight how shrewd and savvy she is, completely zooms in on what it must be like to be an Umavi, even from the Nein's POV. It's such a stunning story, both in craft and content! Reccer 2 says: the characterization in this fic is incredible. for a character who never appears on screen, deirta has a real tendency to haunt the narrative for a lot of shadowgast writers. the version of her who appears here is a completely convincing—and heartbreaking—portrayal of both one of the most powerful people in the dynasty and someone who is fundamentally essek's mother in spite of that. it makes me cry every time i read it, in the best possible way. mind the warnings—but even as someone who has a hard time with major character death fics, this one is completely worth the read. Reccer 3 says: Genuinely my favorite depiction of Deirta Thelyss I’ve seen. Incredibly complicated but so clearly loves her children in a way that makes sense for a woman that old.

Starburst Hearts by kaeda (4805, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Told from Deirta’s pov. A meeting between mother and son while Essek has been on the run.

Reccer 1 says: One of my favorite characterizations for Deirta as a complicated person who loves her son but struggles to show it and doesn’t understand him well. Also a lovely outsider’s perspective on the dynamic of the Mighty Nein as well as Caleb/Essek. Reccer 2 says: It's so wonderfully bittersweet! Also the outsider perspective on the rest of the Nein is very funny

Want more fics with Deirta? Check out our reclist themed with featuring another Thelyss!

This is one of our weekly communally-generated shadowgast rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. 

And hey, anyone includes you, if you're so inclined!

Next week, we'll be featuring fics with Astrid and/or Eadwulf in them. Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

[dangopango00]

After Last Night

Waking up with him after a hookup

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 |

FAT/LBC men x gn reader (William Included for all my Aris out there)

CW: very suggestive, maybe dubcon?? (Mentioned that Lars and reader were both drunk in his)

A/N: waking up with cael is waking up behind bars thats croomf, groomf even 😭😭😭 im jp u dk him since ur childhood here ok this is a safe space

Edit: Alkaid rewrite 🥶🥶

more utc

LARS / LUO XIA (罗夏)

- SCENARIO: You’re in a similar or complementary industry to him and he’s had his eye on you a bit, admiring how you present yourself but you never really became too closely acquainted. One crazy night of drinking during a negotiations meeting later and two lonely busy old people get busy (30 isnt old sorry. Uncalled for)

- You wake up first; he is KNOCKED OUT

- He wakes up with the wildest bedhead normally and even moreso today. He’s drooling and sprawled out across the couch with a loose hold on your body (Just his arm slung around you as he sleeps)

- His grip on you tightens if you try to leave the couch but if you’re insistent he’ll just let you go; whine grumbles about it in his sleep

- He has work and he’s very busy so he’ll have to leave soon but he wants to make it up to you because he wasn’t being professional; he makes the effort to at least chat or have breakfast with you before leaving which you don’t mind since you’re busy as well

- He usually doesn’t do hookups since he’s busy, doesn’t want to lead anyone on and knows he’ll get attached too easily so he rlly dk what happened, he was lonely but ayayay this is a mess. He does his absolute best to make things less awkward for you

- This scenario would actually be so wild bc if you wanted to do it again while sober I don’t think he’d say no LOL as soon as you had breakfast/chatted he started to like you even more I think and remembers last night being really great so

- I don’t think he’d initiate it if you did do it again though because he feels really bad about being unprofessional but ever since that night if he ever sees you his eyes are glued to you, your body and all its curves and/or edges; he’s so distracted help him 😭😭

- It’s even worse if he’s pent up, he actually will just. Avoid you if you don’t assure him it’s alright he doesn’t want to be weird and he knows he wont be able to focus so he gets a little nervous around you from then on

ALKAID / LU CHEN (路辰）

- SCENARIO: You’re his classmate and more importantly, his film dealer. You’ve been selling him film and camera repairs for a pretty good price compared to how high the quality is from a small shop that doesn’t get too much traction because it’s more of an antique shop but you do offer more. He was usually standardly polite and short maybe with an extra question out of curiosity here and there before becoming a regular over time. You eventually started tacking on a few more comments and questions than necessary but not so many that it’s noticeable, chatting him up a bit im class as well until you started actively seeking him out, being curious about him and you two became friends. Since this is an edit I’m gonna say like Ayn, you’re probably already in a situationship by the time you hook up but unlike Ayn you haven’t kissed yet (he’d at least ask you out or vice versa before kissing i think) You were over at his apartment to study and help bathe Sparkle; just generally hang out and after a PAINFUL amount of tension building with playful comments and little touches so much so that you ended up kissing him and one thing lead to another !!

- You wake up first but likely go back to sleep and he wakes up during that time tbh. I feel like his home is cozy as hell not to mention Sparkle climbing up and cuddling with you

- He let you wear his clothes to bed since yours got messy and he noticed that you were shivering, freezing from wearing. Well. Nothing. So he let you borrow something and his entire face is red including his ears an neck, it’s quite a view— both you and him

- He ghosts his thumb over your features, his gentle touch almost unnoticeable as he notes each unique thing about you as if trying to identify different stars in the sky

- You had already cuddled up to him in your sleep and he lays in bed with you in his loose embrace for an absurd amount of time until he decides his heart has had enough and gets up to make you both breakfast, you stirring a bit in your sleep in the process

- He kept trying to find an opportunity to get up before but you clung to him so he couldn’t find it in himself to leave you gn but when he did eventually get up he just kissed the crown of your head and gently pulled your arms off of him, then laying you down

- His bed head is just his normal hair honestly and he doesn’t move too much, just snores a little bit and slightly drools

- He’s embarrassed the rest of the day, his usual charismatic persona failing on him when he needs it most and he’s a bit nervous not knowing if you’d felt the same as him or if it was just lust. Though all that is quickly nipped in the bud when you give him a kiss on the cheek and confess properly, holding his hands in yours

- Deciding he’s wasted enough time being a dork He offers to take you on your first date in a nearby cafe since it was pretty impromptu but he still says it with a helpless smile and slight blush. On this date he def took pictures and has them pinned on his wall; they’ll quickly become some of his most prized photos

CLARENCE / SI LAN (司岚）

- SCENARIO: You two went to the same high school all four years and maybe even the same middle school at some point but you never really interacted because he was busy with schoolwork and so were you so you really never felt the need to bother him. Little did you know Clarence had the biggest crush on you since you met and after being acquainted through the student council you became friends. Upon growing closer and some worrying about how little he relaxes later and you mayyy have accidentally made out with him a little in the council room after hours 🥺 then took it back to your apartment 🥺🥺 and ended up sleeping together 🥺🥺🥺

- He wakes up first and just stares at the ceiling. how did this happen oh my god. Not in a bad way but oh my GOD. -Clarence

- He’s so embarrassed by last night especially with his own behavior. Just remembering the sounds he made and the words he said has him reeling; he must’ve told you he loved you 100,000 times

- he just stays completely still hoping you’re still asleep and once you wake up he shuts his eyes so fast kind of trying to pretend to be asleep but with how tightly his eyes and lips are shut you know he’s awake

- You give him a little kiss on his eyelids and lips and he knows he’s caught; he blushes but then kind of just lets a small exasperated smile wash over his face; he really doesn’t know what to do

- His bedhead is basically the same as his normal but more messy around the bangs also he snores a tiny bit but thats pretty much it

- He’s pretty happy and normal when he isn’t thinking about the specifics of last night’s events

- He even goes ahead and makes breakfast for you and him as well as his cats (they’re probably the ones who woke yall up lol)

- He doesn’t do hook ups and he’s liked you so long so he reaalllly realllllllllyyyyy hopes you’ll consider getting to know him more and let him take you out on a couple dates because even if his hands are clammy the whole time he’d be so happy

WILLIAM / CHEN ZIHAN (陈子涵）

- SCENARIO: You two have always been best friends with no question of whether or not your feelings were platonic. Well he had no question. You on the other hand had been crushing on him for a while now but didn’t want to ruin the friendship. That was until college. He started noticing you more and your qualities: how you’ve matured and how you’re there when no one else is, so his feelings have gotten a little bit more than just platonic. He justified it as appreciation and normal friend things all the way up until you two suddenly decided to “test out” what kissing and making out would be like. Platonically of course. Since neither of you had ever been in a serious relationship. The sex part was just testing too, trust 🙏

- You wake up first but that doesn’t stop him from having an existential crisis when he wakes up

- You’re excited although a bit nervous from anticipation honestly since you already knew your feelings were not platonic but you didn’t know what he’d think so instead of worrying you just poke his face and admire him sleeping

- His bedhead is crazy, some of his hair sticks up and he has a pool of drool under him. He snores too— finally getting to release his feelings has him K.Od it was tew good

- You go to make breakfast or shower or something and he’d probably wake up during that time bc he doesn’t feel your warmth anymore

- Like Clarence, Liam wakes up perplexed and embarrassed and he’s worried he may have crossed a line doing what he did last night since you were supposed to be just friends! He’s freaking out so bad! come back he needs reassurance 😭

- When you get back he’s so apologetic and is just so nervous around you until you broach the subject, reassuring him that you don’t mind what happened

- After you sort out your thoughts on what happened and have a loooong talk about it you’re pretty much back to being normal and you even hang out for a bit longer, watching some movies and baking together although he does still blush and fumble his words around you a little

- He’s scared to tell you he would rather be yours than be your fwb (friend with benefits) bc this is his first hookup but considering he’s been your best friend and crush for so long you feel the same way so you end up dating pretty soon after

[a-d-nox]

pac/pap (creature feature: vampire): what is draining the life out of you? what feeds your strength?

welcome to my october pac/pap creature feature series - instead of having a single pac/ pap this month, there were five! every monday (at 5p / 17:00 EST) this october, a new creature will be came out to play as the sun began to set earlier and earlier... the final creature is lurking in the darkness tonight...

today's creature is the vampire: song queued: "bloody mary" by lady gaga! the folklore of vampires is one of the longest held monstrous beliefs. once like us, the vampire was once living and now is forced to subsist on blood. the vampire has very few weakness aside from sunlight... beware of the thing that feed in the darkness...

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: mermaid: what are you clinging to that must run free? are you fighting the tide or moving with it?

return to the masterlist of pap/pac posts

paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu

enjoy my work? help me continue creating by tipping on ko-fi or paypal. your support keeps the magic alive!

pile one

you may not realize it but clinging to what you have is draining the life out of you. you likely have recently gained or earned something that you have never had - it's easy to get caught up in holding on and wanting to keep something forever, but clingy to one thing often stops us from potentially growing in new and exciting ways. you might also be draining your energy by constantly living life on edge (in a constant state of paranoia/anxiety) - trust me: you are safe. the universe will always provide you with what you need.

your spiritual practice is what brings you strength. no one's beliefs are quite as strong as yours. your mindset has the strength to manifest anything that you need. if you believe in something, you can defy all the odds that are set against you. but you are focused on what you can control instead of what you can not - by finding peace in uncertainty: you will feel even stronger.

pile two

i sense that you are aggressively perusing something right now. i thinking it is time for you to take a break, lest you wish to drain your energy completely. having confidence in yourself. i believe that what you are doing is good - just know that when you start pursuing something - at this moment - there is no stopping. by taking a break, you will come back and feel reborn with renewed energy.

your loving, nurturing, and protective instincts are what make you strong. your presence in general seems to be intense - you have the emotional intensity and powers similar to Jasper Cullen. you likely can persuade others to do what you want them to or feel how you want them to feel. continue to nurture yourself in order to feel your power and to become even stronger.

pile three

it's time that you relax - you work very hard, down play your achievements, and don't appreciate all that you have done. take some time to do so. you've come a long way from where you started so appreciate the view. savor the moment. i do warn you about sharing though - sometimes sharing the moment with others will lead to you investing your emotional energy or will case you to be swayed by their emotional discontent or contentment instead of investing in your own (this is extremely draining for you).

you are unbelievably strong. you stay in situations longer than you need too - that doesn't make you weak, that makes you resilient. you are strong enough to walk away whenever you feel ready. do so. if you feel it is time for a change - you are 100% right. there is better for you and i know you can trust in the unknown better than anyone.

want a personal vampire reading? tip 2.99 USD with the comment "vampire" and i will privately get back to you with what is draining you and what makes you strong! other then that, thank you for reading!

[dragomfry]

A very niche rant about loosely related interests (HB vs. Saezuru)

I’m not sure how many of you in the Saezuru fandom are aware of what Helluva Boss (HB) is on YouTube. But for a quick summary… Written by Vivienne Medrano, or Vivzipop on YT, HB is an LGBTQIA+ adult animated dark comedy/romance show that involves the titular main character Blitzø, an imp in Hell, who runs a business called I.M.P. (Immediate Murder Professionals) that kills humans based on the requests of sinners. At the start of the show, Blitzø has a transactional relationship with Stolas, a royal owl goetia, in order to access a book (grimoire) that allows him to go to the human realm and conduct business. Their toxic relationship develops into something more as the series goes on.

The animation in the show starts off great and only gets better as it goes along. Some of the songs are great. The raunchy/dark/sometimes immature humor doesn’t always land for me, but I like the character drama. Imo, the show is entertaining but has very flawed writing. I like it, but I can’t love it, for reasons said below.

Saezuru and HB couldn’t be more different, but they do share some similarities. For example, the main characters Yashiro and Blitzø share quite a few similar traits in regard to how their trauma impacts their personalities and relationships, especially their fears of intimacy. It’s funny because both share lots of profanity, both try to explain away their relationships as transactional, both feel they ruin good things, both even tried invasively videotaping healthier couples because they were jealous of them in some way.

There are many more similarities, but I’m not interested in pointing all that out for this post. Rather, I just want to rant about HB because the way that Saezuru is so competently written makes the flaws of HB even more glaring. I’m tired of how many people in the HB hatedom try to criticize the show for things it never intended to do (e.g. you can’t blame a romance for not being a thriller; you can’t blame Stella for being one-dimensional when she was never intended to be complex), so yeah I’m not trying to do that. I’m criticizing the show for things it tries to do but haphazardly does/fails at. Of course these are just my opinions!

Rant under the cut

Spoilers for season 1 and 2 of HB

Also TW for themes of sexual abuse

In HB, I feel Blitzø is probably the most well-written character in the show because of how his trauma is handled. This vid does a pretty good job of explaining my views on Blitz (actually this person’s vids are all interesting and their compliments/critiques are pretty reasonable and nuanced, unlike other commentators, give them a watch if you like HB commentary). However, with the end of season 2, there are some writing flaws in the show as a whole I just want to rant about.

Sinsmas was a fun episode, but yeah… HB really became the “Stolitz show.” It lost its original premise.

Don’t get me wrong, the character drama can be very interesting, but this vid by Sarcastic Chorus sums up my frustration pretty well. In general, HB (and Hazbin Hotel, actually) want(s) to have their cake and eat it too.

They want all their big, dramatic character moments without having any substantial buildup. Take Blitz rekindling his friendship with Fizz again after Ozzie’s. They resolved years worth of animosity in the timespan of minutes. MINUTES?? Okay sure, it was a tragic misunderstanding, but I would assume it would take more than just minutes to resolve their strained relationship.

They want their main characters to have flaws but they don’t address them with the complexity they need, or they don’t address them at all. Stolas is a good example. Spoilers for the last episode of S2 Sinsmas in the asterisks (if there’s a better way to hide spoilers I’m all ears). //***Stolas basically loses Octavia, which shows that his cheating had consequences. This is good, but as Sarcastic Chorus pointed out, they try to “soften the blow” by making Stolas a victim of circumstance rather than it being a real character flaw of his. I don’t agree that they wrote Stella as an evil character so that Stolas’s cheating is viewed as okay—they clearly portray his cheating negatively—but the blame isn’t really put as heavily on Stolas as it was put on Blitz in Apology Tour (who is more of a victim in their relationship, but that’s a later point)***\\ Also yeah, they haven’t addressed Stolas’s classism or abuse towards Blitz nor given these aspects particular attention to suggest they will.

There are way too many villains after the main characters at once. There’s the D.O.R.K.S, the Cherubs, Striker (my favorite, what did they do to you), Moxxie’s dad Crimson, Mammon, Andrealphus, and Stella. That’s 7 villains off the top of my head. Because there are so many, they are sometimes underdeveloped. Many also don’t feel like an actual threat even though the show wants us to see some as such (Striker, Crimson, Andrealphus at the end).

The show wants to be deep without committing to its themes. One of these being its themes on classism. You introduce a power dynamic between a lower-class imp (Blitz) and an upper-class goetia (Stolas), and there are some good pieces of commentary said (like what Blitz shouts at the end of Full Moon), but the show never really follows through on the consequences of Stolas’s actions. It just touches upon the themes. Yeah I didn’t like Western Energy for many reasons. It made Striker a loser, which is fine characterization, but they wanted us to regard him as a threat and I can’t take him seriously afterwards. Also, Striker being of lower-class like Blitz but demonized for hurting an oppressive upper-class demon (b/c it’s Stolas), while Blitz is made sympathetic, makes for some weird commentary… Spoilers for Mastermind //***But I did like the joke about Stolas getting a less severe punishment compared to Blitz because he’s a royal, even though it was a bit of tonal whiplash***\\

Tonal whiplash. Some moments are serious, and then we get hit with a joke.

Stolas x Blitz (Stolitz) is toxic, with more blame being put on Blitz (the victim). Yeah we know it’s toxic, and that’s fine to write (toxicity can make a relationship more interesting in fiction even if we wouldn’t root for it irl). But the thing is that more blame has been put on Blitz in the show for their relationship than on Stolas. It can be argued that both have contributed to the toxicity of their relationship, but Stolas even more so. Blitz is a lower-class imp while Stolas is a royal, so Stolas making the transactional relationship at the beginning is an abuse of power. Blitz can’t really object to sex with Stolas even though it makes him uncomfortable because he needs the grimoire to make a living and perform his killing duties in the human world. This makes Stolas a sex offender, and Blitz a victim. Additionally, Blitz is always made uncomfortable by Stolas’s infantilizing and perverse comments in season 1–which can be argued to be what Stolas thinks Blitz wants after S2E1–but that doesn’t make his behavior okay and this should’ve been addressed at least once. Why is Blitz blamed and forced to apologize for being unable to accept intimacy due to his trauma in Apology Tour?? Stolas has many more actual behaviors to apologize and make up for, but these aspects have yet to be addressed. Sinsmas is a step in the right direction, but addressing the consequences of Stolas’s actions has been long overdue. I also don’t like how Stolas physically looks more innocent in many situations, even though I like his design. It’s like the writers are saying “Oh no, you can’t blame him! Look how pure he is!” Video essayists on YT have done this topic to death.

Stolitz is underdeveloped. Stolas never really showed emotional attraction to Blitz in the 1st season. Blitz did though, which was interesting and could have led to a complex relationship dynamic. But S2E1 made them childhood friends, so Ig not so much. Again, I’m not blaming the show for the choice of making them childhood friends as bad writing (you can’t blame a story for not doing something it never intended to do). What I do blame the show for, however, is expecting us to care about this relationship so suddenly when they never showed each other real emotional attraction. What does each character see in each other? I suppose Stolas saw Blitz as an escape from his toxic environment (which isn’t real emotional attraction), and Blitz saw… Idek. Their relationship had no real foundation to begin with, which is why I can only like the ship but not love it. I’m not actively rooting for these characters to get together. I see their relationship as more of an exploration of their characters in relation to one another.

Yep, that’s the rant. I’m not hating on HB at all! Again, I like HB, but I can’t ignore these issues.

Basically, I think Yoneda-sensei avoids most if not all of these flaws, especially concerning my last two points. It’s very clear how both Yashiro and Doumeki fell in love with each other. Despite the toxic elements of their relationship, these aspects are not romanticized or ignored (not saying HB romanticizes them btw). You can really feel their pain in not being able to fully express their love for each other, for multi-layered reasons. While we can be a bit frustrated at the relationship’s slow development, we understand that the slow-burn is not for the sake of drawing out the story but for the sake of delivering a realistic conclusion.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Since the announcement that Dune part three is in development I've watched a couple of youtube videos and read some articles announcing the news, talking about potential release dates and just generally talking about what they want for the third installment and in the comment section of them there seems to be a lot of discussion around how true to the book the third film will be.

Some are saying that they think Villeneuve will stick closely to the book Dune Messiah, others are saying that he will throw the book out completely and just make up his own story for the third film. Some are saying that after the changes made in Dune Part Two, particularly with the changes to Chani's character arc, its now impossible for him to stay true to the book.

Now I haven't read the book so not only do I have very limited knowledge of the book, I also don't have any special attachment to it. So my following views on the subject are coming from that perspective and are based on the two films I've seen and some comments that were in these articles/comments section.

(So mild book spoilers here, you can learn this from reading the blurb of the book.) One thing I did learn is that the book the third film will be based on, Dune Messiah, is actually set 12 years after the end of Dune Part Two's events. We don't see the holy war, we only see the aftermath. Personally I found this news a little disappointing because I feel like they've been revving the audience up with this holy war for the last two movies and so I was really looking forward to seeing it, to seeing just how far Paul goes, whether he tries to hold back at all, whether he has moments of hesitation etc, I was just really hyped to see this war they kept going on about. That being said I do think that seeing the aftermath would still be interesting too.

I've also seen some people say that the book itself won't translate as well to film as the first book does, apparently it has a lot less action and is more political intrigue, as one article put it, its a lot of people sitting in a room and talking. Again haven't read the book so I don't know how accurate that is, but on a similar vein, I've seen a few people say that whilst the book is good its nowhere near the level that the first book is and so they are worried the third film could be a let down for non-book readers.

So as I said above, lots of opinions going around, mostly from book readers because naturally they know a lot more about what is coming than us non-book readers. But it got me thinking how might Villeneuve approach the film and work around some of the concerns I've seen being discussed, the main ones seeming to be, there not being enough action/ it not translating well to screen and how they are going to deal with Chani, as it seems she plays a vital role in messiah and kind of needs to be at Paul's side in order to fulfil that role. So here are my theories and guesses at how Villeneuve might approach the last film. Again these are just my own speculations and opinions.

This first one could definitely be influenced by my own wishful thinking, but one way they could add a bit more action to the film is to spend say the first hour, for example, showing the holy war and using the time to explain how and why Chani returns to Paul, the birth of Alia maybe, etc and then have the time skip to 12 years later and cover the events of Messiah. These films usually have a long run time so if they keep the long run time for this film maybe they'll be able to cover both events. I do believe that the messiah book is considerably shorter than the Dune book, but then the Dune book was split into two films so I am not entirely sure on how well it would work. I guess it would depend on how well it is written.

Another possibility is what some have suggested and that they just throw the book out pretty much completely. The argument here being that Herbert wrote Messiah because when his first book came out the audience didn't get his intended message that Paul wasn't the hero, so he wrote Messiah to really hit home his message that this was a story about the dangers of false prophets and not a hero's journey type story. However Villeneuve has already achieved this message in Dune part two, which could give him some leeway to take the story in a new direction and add his own spin on it. It could also be an opportunity to make the story more appealing to modern audiences, the books were written in the 60's so political and world views were a little different than today. I do think that might be part of the reason why they changed Chani's character, the loyal concubine who follows along with the false saviour's crusade might not have been all that appealing to a more modern audience. The flip side of that though is that abandoning the book completely might not be a popular decision amongst the book readers. So you could end up alienating one side of the audience in favour of making the story your own and trying to appeal more to the general audience.

The third way could be to stick as closely to the books as you can given the changes made in part two. Villeneuve could just start the film with a narration from one of the characters like he did with Chani in part one and Irulan in part two, maybe this time they could have a narration from Paul himself explaining what happened in the war and how and why Chani came back to him etc, setting the scene so to speak. Then from then out just follow whatever happens in the books. Personally I don't know how satisfying I would find this but it would at least follow the same pattern as the other two films if it opens with a narration.

One other thought I had was they could keep the time-skip for the film but have a miniseries that is set during the holy war, I know they are already doing a miniseries covering the bene gesserit so maybe they can also do one showing the war to fill in the gaps. However I think this would be highly unlikely as I don't think they'd have the time to film both a mini series and an actual film. But you never know maybe we'll get really really lucky.

Out of all the possible options, I personally think the first one would be the best option. It would be the best of both worlds, the book readers will still get to see the book adapted, but spending some time at the beginning of the film showing the war could add that needed action and make it more exciting for those who haven't read the book and who might otherwise be disappointed.

But I am curious to know what others think. If you haven't read the book how do you feel about there being such a large time-skip? Do you care if they skip over the war? Or if you are a book reader are you hoping they'll stay close to the book or do you share the same opinion as some of the other comments I saw saying it won't translate well to film? How important do you think the change to Chani's character is and do you agree with those saying it has messed things up going forward? I am very curious to know. All of this being said I am still very excited that they are making a third film and I trust that no matter what direction he chooses to go Villeneuve will deliver another amazing piece of media for us.

[juminies]

hi i’m the anon that asked about the calls! thank u so much for uploading them ur the best <3 also i wanted to ask u something else… sorry i know ur on another hyperfixation right now hehe but i love ur takes and i’d love to hear your opinion on smth!! i’m replaying mysmes for the first time in aaages, and i’m paying more attention to the story this time around and what i wanted your opinion was on a call from jumin’s route on day 6… it’s the call where jumin mentions he sees mc in his dream and mc asks him if he’s sure it’s her. jumin says something about his relationship experience and how he can’t even remember the name of people he saw in the past and then goes on to say he doesn’t even know if you can even say he saw them

so i was thinking about what exactly the last part meant. like i just don’t see him willingly trying to connect with women in a personal capacity on any level, let alone romantic because:

1. in one of the the deep story pre-route chats, jaehee mentions that jumin is straight up not interested in women or relationships, he tends to avoid women and that she’s never even seen him going on a date

2. his shitty parent no 1 carolyn, shitty parent no 2 chairman han, his stepmother (srlsly the way she talked to jumin in that one story mode does not sit well with me??? like that “i’ll comfort you real well” sounds very very wrong but it could also be a bad translation? i hope it’s a bad a translation) and all the women throwing themselves at him and just straight up saying inappropriate things to his face

3. the story mode in which he says that rika was the first woman who made him feel comfortable and that all the other women he met before her just used to flatter him

4. and with the way he thinks… considering he’s not interested in relationships… he’d probs view dating as like inefficient or an unproductive use of his time since it won’t lead to anything lmao that ceo mindset yk

so that lead me to think… do u think the situation with sarah had happened before but on a smaller scale? as in shitty parent no 2 forcing jumin to go meet whoever his latest gold digger gf suggested? and jumin not wanting to but going along with it because he wanted to please his father? (honestly i think chairman han shittiness is sometimes overlooked in the fandom? like yes carolyn is worse but chairman han ain’t good he’s just the lesser evil!!)

or do u think he was referring to like the whole thing where he acts all charming and eloquent to get businesswomen to sign contracts? thank u!

hello! thank you for asking, I will always love talking about him forever so don't worry :~)

I've actually always been kind of confused fascinated by that call too, and I would love if he had elaborated more because we're definitely on a similar page here and you make the same points I would have in regard to his blatant lack of interesting in dating and relationships.

I will say I find it interesting how despite him being the one to bring up his dating history the things he says are actually incredibly unclear? a while back I wondered if it was one of those little things that gets sort of lost in translation, but he's really vague in Korean too. he is talking generally about people he has 'met' before, 예전에 만난 사람, which like 'saw' in english can be perceived in the sense of dating depending on the context of the rest of the conversation but can just as frequently be literal and have no further implication. it almost seems like he's trying to talk around the fact he's never been in a relationship, or otherwise keep it vague, which I suppose makes sense considering he follows it with "the past is the past" and is very consistent elsewhere, too, in feeling like only the present matters. to add to that, if you tell him you thought he had never been in a relationship before after this he is still incredible vague in his response and dodges really making a direct comment. he just says he's not bound by the past and reiterates that he wants to focus on the present. for someone who was typically so no-nonsense until it came to MC, dare I say it reads a little bit like he's nervous that you might judge him if he directly confirms that he has/not been in a relationship before but doesn't want you to feel as if he's trying to keep things from you.

anyway, either of your suggestions are plausible imo! it's difficult to gage if he would even consider women he charms to get them to sign contracts as part of the conversation, but since he does specify he's not sure if they even count that adds up. I have also always thought it somewhat likely that Jumin's father has at least attempted to set him up with women before given that he's almost thirty and the sole heir to the company. considering his genuine hurt around the Sarah situation I think it was probably not something that had been touched on in that particular way before, but instead a sort of "my friend has a daughter your age" situation, or an awkward "come meet my friend and his daughter" dinner. I also don't think it's entirely off the table that he went on a date or two (maybe even slept with someone) while he was at university but got nothing out of it, and that could be what he's referring to. given he can't even remember their name(s) I think it must be the case that it happened a fairly long time ago and meant very little to him, whatever the situation may have been.

[keepingthehopealive]

EMDR session 6 (pt 1)

This is just part one because its long but was the first half of the session before we actually tried EMDR. I see her again this week so wanted to get this written down before then and hopefully it helps someone for me to share my experiences

Started with small talk but I was already quiet and frozen which ET commented on. She first commented that I didnt have a drink which I normally did, and then that i was much quieter than normal.

We talked a bit about last month and how I felt like it was a failure. ET brought up the first time she asked for percentages of how much of me wants to get better I said 5% and last time I said 20% so that is big progress. She also mentioned that we tried flash technique again and I cut it down and said I couldnt do it and I failed. ET will say that she knows we have a different view and opinion of things instead of arguing back to my beliefs and arguements. I later asked if she ever tells people that EMDR is not for them or gives up on people (because she is a huge advocate for and super passionate about EMDR and has a lot of confidence in her skills and knowledge in general) and she said people usually come to their own conclusion and decide to leave on their own. So she turned it around on me saying ive continued to show up and try.

ET asked about things with PT since we had talked last time about how the freeze has been tough and weve been stuck and the ways we cycle in our sessions. I talked about her kind and gentle responses being so triggering and challenging for me because a part of me wants it and then theres so much shame with that and the part that doesnt want to need it.

This led to a conversation about needs and not getting them met in the right way when I was young. I argued that I did get enough, its just my problem that it was never enough for me and so I shouldnt need or want it now. She said that it will never be the right thing now but it can be something. Her analogy was that it would be like trying to fill a gas tank with diesel, that maybe it was offered to me but it wasnt the right thing so it would have never worked or been enough. Her approach to it was very nonjudgemental and nonshameful which of course was my feelings and reaction. We tried to do an exercise of just sitting with both the wanting the care, validation and support and also the rejecting that happens and the shame with it. I really struggled with the balance of it because of how strong the shame is and how loud that voice is.

ET asked about anger and if it is something I ever feel. I said only internalized and anger at myself, not with others. She pushed that its likely there, that I just dont express it or feel safe expressing it. She talked about there being felt anger towards the attachment figures who havent met my needs; my mom, K, PT, and even her. She talked about how when we grow up constantly having to protect others emotions, its a normal response to become an internalizer. Weve talked quite a bit about my mom but she made an observation that still kind of took me back with the accuracy of it. She started talking about how my mom is an externalizer and asked if theres any part of me that would want to externalize the emotions, the anger, my needs, in a similar way to the way my mom has and does.

ET asked about my mom as a therapist, at least my interpretation. Which might be valid given im pretty much her supervisor and she has no boundaries. It was funny when I said I think my mom is pretty relational in her approach and ET commented how thats ironic given shes not strong with relationships in her life. This conversation led to us talking about how my mistrust with therapist stems a lot from my mom. ET asked if that would be something that I would want to work on with her and EMDR, and talked about how she believes its important, and contributes just as much as the stuff with K (former therapist), especially since it comes before then. I said that yes I would be willing to do it but that also the hopelessness of us knowing that I wont be able to do it and wont be able to tolerate it. ET had this moment of passion and excitment about it and said she is so down to do this and wants to help me with it. One thing is for sure is she is very very passionate about EMDR and her work.

ET talked about how we could approach it two ways. We could do flaah technique or like a different form of EMDR that would be a little less intense for me to bring the intensity of it down so we could do full EMDR with it, or we could try doing EMDR with something unrelated and not as activating for me to just have the experience of what its like to do EMDR and what its like to bring down the distress with something through EMDR, to have that positive experience wirh it so we can get to this stuff when im more ready. That was what we agreed to do ultimately and it was almost exactly halfway through the session so we took a short break before jumping into it.

[sydney-carton-of-sour-milk]

The Many Illustrators of A Tale of Two Cities 11: Harry Furniss (2/2)

...& this second half doesn't actually speak for itself...

And we're back with the last 13 of Harry Furniss's 32 illustrations!

1 / 2 || 2 / 2

Unlike the first half of this set, this post actually does have a couple interesting notes on these at the end, but for now, enjoy!

Hope you enjoyed - and as promised, here are the notes!

First Note: Which Came First, the Misquote or the Drawing?

If you're someone with a strong memory for the original text of the novel and have been enjoying reading the captions in this set, you might have come across one of these and been a bit confused. Which one? This one:

most unpromising sure that sounds right, but wait, what...

The actual quote, from Book the Second, Ch. 5 "The Jackal," is this:

"Sydney Carton, idlest and most unpromising of men, was Stryver’s great ally."

...who substituted "tallest" for "idlest"?!

I, for one, am absolutely fascinated by this error. The Victorian Web source names "J. A. Hammerton" as Furniss's editor - is he the one that created the captions? And if so, did he initially misquote it and inadvertently lead Furniss to design Carton this way, or did he misquote it after viewing Furniss's design? Is there any way to ever know???

Unfortunately, I have absolutely no idea how to research something like this, and so, for now, this will simply have to remain a strange (and admittedly pretty funny) mystery...

Second Note: Artists Have Always Used References!

Let's look now at the second-to-last drawing in the series:

There's a certain quality to this one that's a bit different than a lot of the rest, namely in its particular use of that dark and smudgy shading - whereas most of the other illustrations utilizing that seemingly do so to convey energy and intensity and drama and motion, this one is very still and soft. Another noteworthy difference is that unlike any of the other illustrations in this entire series, this one bears an actual fully-written signature (in the lower-right) - all the others use initials!

So what is it that might make this one special? Well, take a look at this link!

This is pure speculation, but based on the uniqueness of this drawing in comparison to the others in the series and its similarities in composition and subject to this famed painting, Calling Out the Last Victims of the Terror at Saint Lazare Prison* on the 7-9 Thermidor 1794 by Charles Louis Müller, it seems possible to me that Furniss used that painting as inspiration and reference! * And yeah, if he did use it as reference, that means that the prison depicted in that drawing isn't even the Conciergerie but rather Saint-Lazare Prison.

Also, if that painting in and of itself feels familiar to you, that's probably because it's very commonly used as a cover for modern editions of A Tale of Two Cities, especially this Penguin Classics one! It all comes back around...

Sadly, that's it for Harry Furniss's illustrations. The next set will be much shorter and coming to you within the week, on Tuesday - and with it, we'll finally be back on schedule for this series. See you then!

& the standard endnote for all posts in this series:

This post is intended to act as the start of a forum on the given illustrator, so if anyone has anything to add - requests to see certain drawings in higher definition (since Tumblr compresses images), corrections to factual errors, sources for better-quality versions of the illustrations, further reading, fun facts, any questions, or just general commentary - simply do so on this post, be it in a comment/tags or the replies!💫

[moltengoldveins]

Ok. I’m gonna talk about VR-LA a sec:

Just. Listen. The sheer joy I feel at the Knowing the crew has of VR-LA. How he’s so clearly autistic (or something similar) and it isn’t easy, it isn’t the kind of thing that only affects him once in a while, it’s day in day out every day, it’s down to his gears. It’s a different way of looking at the world, of living, of loving. How he experiences and expresses feelings and emotions so powerfully and so differently than everyone else in the show. How that’s not shown as ‘normal for him, but unusual for everyone else, so we make do,’ so much as it’s shown as ‘the ideal. of course VR-LA does X or says Y, that’s what he’d do! Why would it be better for him to have done otherwise?’ How the rest of the crew adore him, and he adores them, and they don’t even blink when accommodating him because it doesn’t even register as unusual accommodation. Everyone has a different way of looking at the world. Everyone gets accommodated. Why would we treat him differently? As someone with (undiagnosed, I’m working on it, trustworthy doctors are hard to find, but I have however been peer reviewed many times XD) autism, I assume the rest of the crew are just as relatable as he is. I assume the ways they feel and act are just as real. But I see myself in everything VR-LA does, and it really puts into perspective how most people in my life view love, and emotions, and friendship. VR-LA screws up. He does stupid stuff because he isn’t seeing things the way other people do and that gets people hurt or it hurts their feelings. He’s rude or blunt or uncompromising, he ignores or downright trods over good sense when it comes to diplomacy, and every single time he does I’m right there with him, not seeing the consequences until they’re right up in his face. But not once, in the entire show, does anyone make VR-LA the character or Noir the actor feel bad for who VR-LA is or who Noir has made him to be. When he apologizes, he mentions specific mistakes and he is forgiven for those mistakes. He does not apologize for ‘being bad at X general thing (like empathy)’ and nobody makes comments like that. He is aware of his own shortcomings but does not feel shame for them in the sense of ‘what I am is broken’, nor does he feel he is obligated to change what he is so he’s no longer bad at those things. He’s growing and getting better, yes, but he isn’t changing who he is, and nobody wants him to. Finbar and Kyana don’t even really consider pushing their brand of affection on him in situations where it’s unwelcome: conversely, VR-LA steps up and makes efforts to accommodate them when he’s trying to show affection. He makes Finbar the necklace. He takes time to talk to Dani while she’s working. AND. Nobody ever doubts VR-LA loves them??!! Despite the fact that he doesn’t do the typical verbal or physical affirmations of such??? He loves and is loved with a passion and never once does the crew think it isn’t enough because it’s not the right flavor. And that’s Shocking to me. It’s fascinating. I can barely conceive of that, and I certainly couldn’t before this last year or so of listening to the podcast and building solid friendships outside my childhood sphere. I love my family, and they love me, but there is now and will always be a disconnect between the way I naturally show love and they ways they are willing to accept love. That’s ok. I’m more than willing to take the extra step because I love them, and they are learning. But this is an entirely different ballpark. Rolling with difficulty is incredible, but this is the part that I think truly makes it one of my all time favorite stories. The crew Knows VR-LA, and loves him for what he is, the way they know he will understand. It’s viewed the same way two nt people are viewed, making concessions and adjustments for one another. Neither party is more to blame for what they are, and that’s just really really nice to see.😊

[silvereddaye]

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

37

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,415,727 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've only written for Star Wars

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Tinies

In the Past

Between the Light and Shadows: Luke & Vader One-Shot Collection

Of Silk and Gold

Seduce a Senator

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Generally I do not, mainly because I feel like I don't have something to say back. If I feel like there is something to say, I'll comment back.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So uh . . . I don't have a whole lot of finished multi-chapter fics. *cough* *cough* I'm also not super big on angsty endings, but if I did pick it is between these three: The Last Mission, Traitor (which is a four part), and It was Leia. Each has a different type of angsty ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Stop making me pick favorites. I guess I'd go with Seduce a Senator (which a smut fic and rated E). Only because I feel like the happy ending is well deserved after everything that happened. Also I feel like Godhood had a good happy ending. But I also write a decent amount of fluff. For example the one-shot There You Are, which has a very sugary ending.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Yes.

I've gotten in on In the Past. Mostly people complaining about either how I wrote was inaccurate or wasn't up their personal view of Star Wars. In the first chapter (or two) I mention Anakin and Luke's midicholorian count, and I made Luke the lesser of the two. People hate that. (I do stand by that decision in that I do believe Anakin would be stronger as the chosen one, but that's just me.)

I got a whole of angry comments on Godhood and some on For A Sith to Love a Jedi. Basically about ships and romance. People are . . . very passionate about that kind of stuff . . . and hate when anything goes against their ship.

9. Do you write smut?

Yep.

10. Do you write crossovers?

As in characters from one fandom interact with another fandom? No. I strictly write Star Wars. I may put Star Wars characters in situations based on another fandom like when I wrote a Luke and Vader Anastasia AU.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I know I once read a fic from an obvious amateur writer whose fic was very similar to Runaway. It wasn't an exact copy, but it was clear it drew some aspects and inspirations from my fic. I suspect that writer was young and exploring writing. I commented on it saying it was a good fic. I'm not one to get angry about that such a thing that this one thing is "my idea."

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I translate The Tinies into Spanish myself with the help of a great Spanish checker, but that's the only translation of any of my fics I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, but they've all mostly been due to round-robin popcorn writing games we do in my server from time to time. Where one person writes a bit of a fic then another then another.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Padme and Anakin/Vader

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

In all honesty, I don't know. There are some of my WIPs I have permanently shelved and don't intend on ever finishing. (Mostly my old Obikin stuff.) But there are still some that I really do want to finish. I've just been unable to write.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

World building, especially with fantasy.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Currently? Writing.

Also finishing long multi-chapter fics. help.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

As in just a whole scene where they're not talking in English and it's not translated into English? I have never done that. I don't think I've even seen that done. Do people do that? I've done a line or two where people will speak to each other in a different language. I then switch the words back to English so my reader can, you know, read them.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Don't make me pick my favorite child. I have different favorites for different reasons. I can't just pick one.

[rustycottoncandy]

We've been waiting one hour for our food to come and I'm uncomfortable with most people here so I'm gonna do what I told myself to do last night before going to sleep and talk about Ethan.

Okay so we know - well, I know - that Ethan and Henry have one friend in common, who is Leonard, but how come he's friends with Leonard and not Andrew or Edward? He met Henry's entire friend group, after all.

Well, mostly because he's the one he talks to the most. Sure, he may share some words with Ed and Drew occasionally, but Leonard and him have common interests and similar personalities, so they talk often. And also because Henry sometimes has to babysit Sam, who is Leonard's son, and Ethan likes to tag along when he does. I should draw these three some day.

The food still hasn't arrived so I'll go with Jan now.

Henry despises Jan to no end, mostly because of the way he looks at Ethan and their general interactions. Jan is someone very clingy and Henry is a very jealous person, so whenever Ethan brings Jan home or leaves home to hang out with him, comments are expected from Henry.

What does Jan think about the coffee-haired guy, though? A.P? Henry?

He wants to get along with him, but at the same time doesn't really like his personality, since all he's seen of Henry is him giving him sharp glances or trying to separate him from Ethan. So far, Henry seems very rude and possessive to him.

Actually, the only positive things Jan'd ever heard about Henry have come from Ethan's mouth, but that's it.

Imagine having to make them team up. That'd be fun. I know it won't happen but it would be fun.

The food still hasn't arrived. I've spent around eighteen minutes writing this.

Here's how Cocoa views the people around him and stuff.

- He thinks it's weird that humans brush their hair and doesn't understand how it works, either, nor why they do it, because Ryan only brushes his hair occasionally, Henry brushes his hair extremely often, Ethan uses a special brush and Daniel doesn't brush his hair. The cat doesn't understand how hairbrushes work.

- He sees Henry's room as a jungle due to how messy it is.

One plate just arrived!!! Without cutlery though and it isn't mine so I'll keep writing.

- He thinks there's a monster living under the bathtub and that the water is its claws. He wants to befriend the monster.

- He thinks coffee is some sort of second sun and that it gives a divine kind of energy to whoever takes it and that that is why Henry takes it so much.

- He used to think Ethan smells like lavender because he covered himself in lavander for 10 minutes a day and then came back home, then he learned what perfume was.

- He thinks of the fairy lights in Ethan's room as tiny moons and believes they are magical.

- He sees the sofa as a huge mountain and sometimes imagines he's a lion when he climbed on top of it.

- He likes ants and once befriended one that was called Martha.

- He doesn't get why humans have no tail and thinks somebody cut them off when they were still kittens.

- At first, he wasn't sure if Ethan was a male or a female. He knows he's a male now, but still forgets sometimes.

- He doesn't chase his tail often because he thinks that it had feelings of it's own.

We're all still hungry here, it's been like half an hour since I started writing and one and a half hour since we got here.

MY FOOD ARRIVED... ALSO WITHOUT CUTLERY-

Bye

[justforfunweb]

Find out why "cat meme" videos are popular in China. Does it provide fun for you?

I wonder if you've ever seen pictures of cats like this, this, and this. Or weird cat videos with sound? For example, the last one, I wonder if there's a voice in your head singing 'happy happy happy'.

Since February 2024, a trend of making cat meme videos and watching cat meme videos has been popular on the internet. However, few people have introduced the reasons why cat meme videos have become so popular on social media in China (bilibili and tiktok). This blog will introduce you to this trend from the perspective of an audience. If you like this article, please don't be shy to click like, comment and share.

The Origin of the Cat Meme A certain moment in a cat's life is recorded and people give it more meaning. Such as this picture of a cat meme recorded by a tumblr user, which gained tons of likes and shares because of its human-like expression.

The Development of the Cat Meme The cultural trends of the modern internet are changing all the time. Expressing one's feelings with a picture or emoji is more concise and interesting than a large paragraph of text. Some people will take a multi-creation to the cat meme image to express their feelings and thoughts. For instance, this image of two women and a cat was created by a Twitter user:

The emergence of the cat and cat video trend Tiktok has made a wide variety of videos focused with the very fast flow of information. Some short but unique cat and cat videos got popular.

The development cat meme videos The videos are interspersed with cat meme gifs and text narration. They are usually titled with an eye-catching synopsis of the story. During the storytelling process, they use cat meme gifs to express their feelings and describe the reactions of other people in the story. On the Chinese video platform called bilibili, the videos can reach up to 6 million views or even more.

Some examples of cat meme videos.

1.I beated the bully guys with her tears

Being defeated by a Japanese man in Chinese

My father and my face blindness problem

Here are some reasons the author believes cat meme videos are on the rise in China:

Story attributes. The plot is simple but informative and the story is shocking.

Low production threshold. It is easier to produce cat meme videos than general videos. Creators commonly narrate that it takes a few hours to make a cat meme video.

Platform push mechanism. Similar videos will be tweeted. The research results show that recommendation algorithms push information to users based on their historical data, algorithmic models and interactive behaviors, which can maximize personalized needs and enhance user stickiness.（What motivates users to continue using current short video applications? A dual-path examination of flow experience and cognitive lock-in - ScienceDirect）

Sense of immersion. Cat meme videos can perfectly eliminate the third party perspective. So that the audiences will substitute themselves into the main character in the story, thus more immersive roleplay.

A way for ordinary people to share their lives & anonymous. Cat meme videos do a great job of removing identity barriers. The author's ideas are fully shared and expressed.

The properties of short videos. Generally a video is mostly within 1-3 minutes, which can be watched quickly and viewers can get feedback quickly. Unique stories will keep people in a high emotional situation. Chloe West has spoken in her blog about how short videos for marketing focus on creating an emotional narrative that sticks with the viewer long after they've watched it（The Ultimate Guide to Short-Form Video Content (influencermarketinghub.com)）.

Satisfy the viewers' curiosity. The synopsis of the story of such videos is usually already written in the title. It's important for creators to appeal to the curiosity of their readers, says Clifford Chi in his blog（6 Psychology-Backed Hacks for Making Engaging Videos (hubspot.com)）.

Here comes the question. Is the creation model of catmeme replicable? Will the creator's inspiration dry up? Will there be other ways to create in the future? If you have thoughts on these questions, please leave your thoughts in the comments section.

Sincere thanks for reading this blog. Feel free to click the like button for this post to inspire. Your support is the biggest motivation for me to update.