#si lan | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

idyllcy · 8 months ago

Text

how do you like your eggs?

word count: 9.8k

summary: he'll play any role you want him to. including your boyfriend.

three and too young.

The first time you meet Clarence, the two of you are three, round cheeks and barely comprehensible language slipping past your tongue, your eyes big as you stare at Clarence. You do not know him. He does not know you. The two of you are children. That is all that matters. You do not need to question whether or not he would be a good friend. Your mommy knows best.

"I'm so sorry for leaving them here." Your mom sighs, handing Clarence's mom a box and letting her know that you knew what to do in most cases.

You stare at Jaclyn as she offers you her hand, and you wave goodbye to your mom as she's off to work.

"What's your name?"

You pause to think, cheeks puffed out as you tell her with a smile.

"That's cute." She smiles, pausing. "Do you have any siblings?"

You blink up at her instead, squeezing her hand. "Do you have any siblings?"

"I have a younger brother." She grins, taking you to her room. "I think he's the same age as you."

You blink up at her, nodding. "Daddy tells me boys are scary."

Jaclyn laughs, warmth spreading through her chest as. you blink at her. "Yeah? Is your daddy scary?"

"Daddy says only he's de... dependible."

Jaclyn nods. "Let's stay girls only then, hm?"

You nod in agreement, little brows pulled into a frown as you follow Jaclyn into her room.

In the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of a blue-haired boy, eyes big as he stares at you enter his sister's room.

You wonder who that was.

Your first meeting is less a meeting and more a glimpse, so when you visit Jaclyn a year later, language much more articulated as you greet their mom, you see Clarence stare at you from the staircase.

"Oh! Jaclyn is out for a shoot today, but Clarence is here. Did you get to meet him last time?"

You shake your head. Yet, fuelled by a four year old's energy and extrovert tendencies, you race up the stairs to chase after him, holding the door open as he tries to close it on you, fear rattling through his body at this unknown person who was trying to pry open his door. It's a little dramatic on his end, but he's always had some sort of a fear over his sister's friends. She's never at school enough to have normal friends, so the vast majority of them were famous in some way. If he's learned anything, he knows not to get involved with the actresses his sister's bringing home for playdates.

"I don't wanna be friends with an actor!" He cries.

"I'm not a movie star!" You yell back, face pulled into a look of annoyance as you finally pry the door open from his hands. You fall forward onto your face with a yell, whining as you roll to the side to stare up at your little opponent with a frown. He stares down at you with a pout, raising a brow as you realize how cold his room is.

"I'm Clarence." He huffs.

You tell him your name, shaking as you sniffle from the temperature. It's winter. Is this guy psycho?

You blink at him. "Why didn't you let me in? Isn't it common courtesy to take care of guests?"

"I thought you were a celebrity." He pouts.

You find Jaclyn's brother to be... insane.

Yet, you sit through the rest of the day with him, blinking at him as he shows you his books on history, rambling about the history of the planet to you. You're intrigued that so much knowledge can be held in hands the same size as yours. You tell your mommy about the history of the land you in habit on your way home, cheeks warm as she tells you how good of a job you did and how smart you were.

You wonder if Clarence knew anything else about the planet the two of you stayed on.

The next time you visit, Jaclyn is out again, and Clarence reluctantly lets you into his room. You sit on the ground as he stares at you, and before he can start, you info dump on him. You tell him about what you had found out during the time that the two of you were apart, detailing the parts of history he missed, diving into detail on the world that the two of you stood on. He blinks at you, cheeks growing red, eyes big as you give him a pose of victory and ask if your research was correct.

He laughs, cheeks pink and ears red as he tells you yes.

He spends the rest of the evening rambling to you about stuff you didn't get to listen about last time. You wonder how long he had to hold it in, but it doesn't matter that much. You blink at him, wide-eyed something brooding in the back of your head as you swear you're going to become smarter than him one day. You're going to become a genius that not even Jaclyn's brother can overtake. You will become an unstoppable force — which is really out of as much spite as a five year old can muster. If he's receiving an award, you are too. You'll make sure of it.

So, you ask your mom to enroll you at his school, going head to head against him in every competition he enrolls in, always coming out second as you huff, cheeks round as Jaclyn hushes you, assuring you you're number one in her heart. That's not enough. You need to prove to the world that Clarence is second to you. You have to be smarter than him. You're not losing to some boy. That's stupid, and you are not stupid.

So, you dive head first into your studies, brain spinning painfully occasionally, fingers itching for you to create, mind dragging you to the abyss, endless knowledge bleeding past your fingers, crawling up your arm into your mind, some sort of desperation to prove that you are smarter than Clarence there. You do not know why you do it. Perhaps it's a sense of self-destruction or a spite that hating someone enough could bring you to. So, when Clarence enters showbiz like his sister, you follow after, booking left and right as you stay top of your class despite your absences.

Clarence is known to stay away from any actor that is not his sister — with the exception of you. For some twisted reason, you are continually cast as Clarence's lover in his dramas, his fingers gentle on your skin as the two of you chase after each other in emptied classrooms, biting his hand in certain scenes as he holds you in others, rain cold on his back. The umbrella in his hand falls to the ground as you blink at him through tear-stained lashes, mustering your best doe eyes as you read him for something. Instead, he leans down, lips pressed to yours, stealing away your first kiss in front of all your viewers.

That is enough to launch the two of you into fame.

You're only slightly nerved by the couple edits, lashes full as you blink at the paparazzi, smile on your face and honeyed words on your lips. During the tour, you use Clarence as a shield, still unused to all the fame and fans, finding that one smile from you is enough to warrant a crowd of screams. Clarence, pulls you along behind him, chiding you whenever you do it for fun. You only pout at him. He looks to the side, pushing you along first to enter the car.

You wave bye to your fans one last time before you do, earning another crowd of screams.

Eventually, the two of you detach from each other in fame, Clarence taking a head dive first into playing less romance roles and more serious ones as you stay playing high school romances, adaptations coming true from the novels as you play the female lead's best friend almost always. You become known as a second choice, an indication that your acting would overtake the female lead and your popularity would soar. You wonder why you are never booked for the main lead, though. Yet, you don't worry about it. When you see the actors kissing like that after knowing them for only a few days, it's not on your wishlist.

Yet, when you're given the chance to book a role as Jaclyn's lead, you take it. You don't care if you're kissing your best friend. You're kissing her.

"So?"

"We've come full circle." You grin. "I bet Clarence won't talk to me now since I'm one of your actor friends."

"Is that what he yelled at you?" Jaclyn clicks her tongue, sighing. "Well, he probably won't talk to you because we're going to kiss."

You grin, cheeks warm. "I can't believe I get to kiss you on national television."

Jaclyn laughs, hitting your shoulder as she catches her breath. "I bet you were waiting for this."

"Oh, hell yes." You mumble, continuing through your script. "I don't show up that often, though."

"It's because we'd get flamed for doing too much." Jaclyn hums. "Come over sometime. I'm sure Clarence is dying to see you again."

You glance at her, shaking your head. "Come on."

Jaclyn runs into your arms, full of tears as the scene starts, and you crouch down to wipe her tears, asking her what was wrong. Your character was a second choice — strangely enough, a second choice that was the only character to ever kiss Jaclyn's. You suppose it's a buff of some sort, yet as she straddles you on your couch, crying for you to kiss her, you grimace at her, heart heavy as she asks you if it's alright quietly. You relent, leaning forward slightly to brush your lips against hers, throwing your head back as she kisses down to your neck, bare skin pressed to yours as the two of you stay there, unmoving.

The director yells cut as Jaclyn surges back down to kiss you again.

"Wow." You pause. "Do you think I'll lose my virginity on camera too?"

Jaclyn looks down at you in concern. "I sure hope not."

Your final scene with the cast is with the rest of the team, bittersweet smile on your face as Jaclyn picks the male lead over you. You find it sickening in your role, your character is bitter beyond repair, but you do not comment nor speak. Instead, you stand there in the background of the last shot, waiting for the director to call cut so you can release yourself from the role. You're sure Jaclyn's going to call you over to her place for a watch party when it finally airs. You're not excited for the comments the media is going to have once it airs.

Yet, you attend the press tour, laugh on your lips as the interviewers ask you questions. You play into your role too well, cheeks warm and flushed whenever Jaclyn speaks. You spend your nights doomscrolling through couple edits of the two of you. You suppose that no matter what you do, you'll always end up back in their family.

You're halfway through the press tour when you receive the news that your mother is sick.

You leave immediately.

The paparazzi crowds outside the hospital when you visit, your fingers laced through your mom's as she assures you that she's alright. You know she is not. She hasn't been very well since the death of your dad. You hold her cold hands to your cheek instead, assuring her that your role in the industry was second to her. It does not matter all that much. As long as you get to spend the rest of her life with her, you would stop at nothing.

Fans send you flowers, your manager bringing a new bouquet for the room each time she comes. You grow thinner, weight shedding off your body as you prioritize your mom, her fingers laced through yours as you watch her take her last breath — and for a moment in time, your own heart stops. You were prepared, you believed, but when you lose your mom the first and only time of your life, you do not know what to do.

Your life seems to stop when you do, blinking slowly as you finish her funeral, grieving visible on your face as Jaclyn holds you in her arms. You bury your face in her shoulder, breathing labored as you hold back the tears out of a fear for the paparazzi. They could be anywhere. You hold onto the necklace your mother left, and you stare at the man who will be your guardian for the next years of your life. You wonder if he will let you continue down the path you've decided to take. He works a plain office job, after all.

"Do you want to continue?" He hands you a mug of hot cocoa, sitting down across from you as you stare at the scripts you would audition for.

"In half a year." You mumble. "Or longer. I need to grieve."

The media forgets about you in half a year. You do not start from rock bottom, but your manager gives you a hard time for taking so much time off, your acting intensified further as she wonders if you should start playing the role of the antagonist instead of the second choice. You don't care. You stopped flying, and now you were back to where you started.

It makes you bitter — seeing Clarence get praised for both his brain and beauty.

So, you spend your time playing the role of the villain, pouring tea onto people's hair on camera while you apologize as soon as the cameras are cut, helping the staff wipe down the female lead always. You make new friends, your smile contagious behind the role of your character, finding that it is much easier to detach from the skin you assign yourself in your roles. You suppose playing the villain is better than playing the second lead. The hate is around the same, and arguably, you've received much more traction for how intense you are in the roles you play.

Your manager starts booking roles for variety shows with you as well.

You hold hands with other celebrities, chasing them with pool noodles as you promote your new dramas, cheeks pulled into a sweet smile as you tell everyone about your role as the main antagonist. It's fun. You find it fun. You find it fun.

So fun, that you forget that you're supposed to be out-doing Clarence. You suppose it's a little too silly for you now, but you find the rivalry funny. You're a different person because of what you wanted to accomplish because of him. You try not to think too much about the fact that you lost your first kiss to him on set because the two of you had debuted as a duo. Sometimes you go. back to watch the edit videos fans made of the two of you back when you first debuted. You've grown as a person and changed. You find that to be the funniest part of all of this.

So, when your manager asks if you'd like to book a role as his lover again, you wonder if you've really moved at all.

"It's..."

"A high school drama." You click your tongue. "Am I playing the antagonist again?"

"No. You're going to be the lead... for once." Your manager hands you the script, and you pause.

Someone wrote this role for you.

"Am I auditioning?"

"You're being cast."

You agree to it.

Clarence stares at the script himself, pondering over the role he's playing in the film. It's eerily similar to the role he would have played if you had continued at the same school as him. You left him. Well, left is a little dramatic. You transfered and never returned. That was terrifying for him, perhaps. The vice president had left without a word. He wonders what you felt when only Jaclyn was able to take time to attend your mother's funeral. Maybe this role was created for you. You will shine, he hopes.

He agrees without thinking too much.

Maybe the two of you will become close again.

When Clarence arrives on set, he's surprised to see that the two of you are filming in your old school, his current one. Perhaps this is a film about your life. It is your first big role in a while that wasn't the antagonist of an office drama. He missed seeing you on set at his dramas. Well, to be fair, both of you are on foreign ground. You haven't been a lead in a while, and he hasn't done romance in forever. Someone might call it fate.

Clarence finds you in the old student council room.

"Ah." You stare at Clarence. "It's been a while."

He nods. "How... have you been?"

"I've been alright." You nod.

The silence between the two of you is uncomfortable to an uncanny extent. He misses what the two of you had been for the little while that you had visited his house a child, but he also understands that there was no way for the two of you to return to what you once were. It would be hard, and he would not want it either. He wonders if he'll finally receive the closure he needs in order to move on through the drama. He'll figure it out as he goes.

A person from the directing team interrupts the silence by calling for you.

"There you are. Did you get to memorize the script?"

You nod slowly, waving bye to Clarence as you follow her out.

Clarence wonders if the old notebooks of his past are still locked in the safe in the room.

Maybe he'll return to them one day in the movie.

The first day of shooting, the school's classroom is blocked off. You get to know the other actors, nodding as you listen to the roles that they all have to play. You find Jaclyn too, playing your best friend in the drama. You cling onto her as she shows you her lines, telling you her interpretation as the two of you read over the light novel version of the film. Are you famous? Are you big? You don't know, but you do know that the original writer of the novel was a close friend of yours on the student council team. You wonder why she wrote the novel.

"Is the author joining in on production?"

"She's arriving later on." Jaclyn nods. "You don't get to kiss me in this drama, unfortunately."

You snort. "Aw... really wish this drama was a yuri bait too."

"Well, we can't all be queer characters."

Your role is technically cliché. You're a transfer student desperate to stick out, masking a smile on your face as you try to hide everything that had ever happened to you in the past. You blink owlishly in front of the class, smile on your face as you wave at everyone. The teacher introduces you, and you are seated next to Clarence's character. Your role wonders if it's fate, but it's more of a one sided rivalry. You pretend to be perfect in front of the class, grades only ever placing second to Clarence's character, popularity always falling short of first place to him.

As a result, your character develops a weird sense of inferiority and a need to prove themselves better than the top of the school.

"Silan." You hum, peering at Clarence as he stares at you.

"Yes?"

"What's your secret?"

"Beer." Clarence's character deadpans, rendering yours speechless as he walks off.

"Cut!" The director yells. "Thank you for the good work! That's a wrap for today. It'll rain tomorrow, so we'll get a move on to some of the initial rain scenes tomorrow."

You nod, leaning on the railing of the school, throwing your head back with a sigh. You stare at the script in hand, mumbling the words you need memorized by the next day as you scribble notes on the characterization, wondering if there was a certain way your character was expected to act. You don't know. The way she speaks is all a mask, yet her personality doesn't change much even after she lets the mask down. When you ask the director, all she tells you is to follow your heart. You wonder just who she is.

"Reading?" Clarence steps up to you, and you sigh.

"I don't get her."

He hums neither in agreement nor argument.

"Maybe she's devoid of anything." You sigh. "Something will add color into her life, but I suppose I still don't know just what that something is."

"The rain scene tomorrow might give you an idea."

You glance at the gloomy sky and then at your script. "Perhaps your character brought color into her life."

Clarence pauses to stare at his own script. "Or, perhaps she found color by bringing it into his life."

"Our characters are childhood friends, huh?"

"Yeah." He mumbles. "Childhood neighbors."

Clarence pauses. "Like us."

You don't respond.

The second day of shooting, the two of you are stuck on the school roof together, a bundle of emotions crashing through your character as you try to hide from the rain, desperate to hide what you could of your body. You are not traumatized by your appearance — something else. You hide away from Clarence when his character tries to offer you his jacket, shaking in your skin as you step away from him with wide eyes, backing to the railing of the rooftop as you close your eyes to hide from something. Instead, the cliché scene of romance happens, Clarence's school jacket thrown over your head as you stare up at him, doe-eyed, deer caught in headlights.

It throws Clarence into some sort of daze, staring down at you breathless, heart racing in his chest as the director yells cut to start over again.

"I FINALLY SHED TEARS!??!!" You yell in frustration. "Ugh..."

"Sorry." Clarence nods. "I don't know what happened."

You take the scene again, and Clarence throws his jacket over you, barely batting an eye as he hides you until the scene ends.

You blow your nose after the scene, wrapped in a bundle of towels, back in the warmth of the school. Clarence offers you a cup of warm tea from production, and you thank him with a quiet nod as you drink it. You think you understand something.

So, when you are dried up and shooting a scene in front of the school, missing an umbrella, you stare at the rain in an emotion only you can read from your character. You are sick and tired, mask slipping as everyone else has left from the school. You stand there as you wait for the rain, wondering if you did something wrong to deserve the fate that you have suffered. You try to channel the disgust that only you can experience. You do not want the pity your classmates offer you. You want the comfort of someone to hold you. You wonder if you have a reason to go on.

"Standing all by yourself, class flower?" Clarence's character steps next to you, and you blink wordlessly at him, forcing a smile.

"No. I just... forgot my umbrella."

"I'll take you home. Where do you live?"

You grimace at him.

"You can take mine." He offers you his umbrella, opening it as you stare at it.

"I couldn't possibly let you go in the rain, president Silan." You smile. "You can take it. The rain is supposed to stop in a little bit."

"Then," Clarence fishes out a second umbrella from his bag. "This should work, yes?"

You take the second umbrella with a thank you, opening it as you head on out first with a nod of your head.

"You don't need to keep acting, miss flower." Clarence mumbles quietly before the cameras cut.

"That's a wrap!"

You close the umbrella immediately, tossing it at Clarence as you spin under the rain. You wonder if you look cringe. Maybe you do. That might have just been the role you've been assigned as. You're sure that your character would have truly enjoyed to just bask in the rain and ditch her mask for once, but not now. It was not time yet. So, in place of her, you will. Under the rattling of the rain that might get you sick, you decide to play into the role that the author had created for the girl who learned to despise who she once was.

Clarence watches you, putting both umbrellas on the ground, chasing after you as you pause to stare at him.

"Would he do this?"

"He would." Clarence chases you in the rain, some semblance of childhood returning to both of you. The two of you go on for as long as you can before your managers yell for the two of you to stop goofing off. You find it sweet that both of you can reclaim something that was once lost. Do you love who you are? You don't know. Though, you are aware at the very least that only the two of you can understand your roles in the story. Maybe Clarence knows as well.

Both of you are given an earful once you return, but neither of you fall sick, thankfully.

The third day of shooting stays mostly inside. Your character doesn't do much, but you piece together parts of her personality from the few times that Clarence's character appears in your scenes. She likes savory foods over sweets, prefers cats over dogs, and despises the people of her past. You learn small things of her character that reflect what you once were. You wonder just how much of it your classmate had based off of you. Are you sick? Are you dead? Perhaps you are just deathly fragmented.

"I'll piece you together." Jaclyn whispers, grinning as you stare up at her from your desk.

"What?"

"I'll put you back together, and we'll find the spark of your life." Jaclyn points down at you with a grin. "Come on."

"I don't need to be—"

"You're applying to college soon, right? Come on. Let's find you something you're passionate about."

You hold back your tongue from the words you know your character is thinking. Her passion is being perfect and an ideal. Her passion is to become so perfect that no one can ever touch her ever again — so that one day no one would ever touch her without consequence. Your character wants to become an ideal.

You laugh, waiving Jaclyn off with a wave of your hand. "You free for shopping this week?"

"Yes." Jaclyn hums. "Let's go."

And the scene ends.

You wonder if the shallowness of your character around her friends was meant to reflect something about you.

"I love you." You practice the next scene. It's supposed to be a fake confession to Silan. Yet, the words feel foreign on your tongue. You do not love Silan. Your character has not developed that point yet.

Clarence's character is supposed to turn you down.

"It is something you're doing because of a bet." Clarence hands you a cup of water. "You will be fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

The scene starts, the two of you in the student council room, filing papers as you look over everything that needs to be prepared for the school festival. You tell Clarence, wondering when you should confess to him as a joke. The girls in your class had always been too much of a coward to ask him themselves, so you've been forced into the role of the clown.

"Silan, what do you think about Huajie?"

"Not much."

"How about Yueyue?"

"Not much either."

Clarence doesn't spare you a single glance.

"Then... what about me?" You tilt your head cutely, mask on as you blink at him cutely.

Clarence stares at you, tilting his head. "What do you think about me?"

"Not fair! I asked you first!" You huff, finishing your stack.

Clarence stares at you, humming. "I don't like shallow girls."

Your jaw drops in offense, hurt at the statement. You know your character would despise being called shallow, but hearing it from Clarence's mouth hurt twice as much. You huff, growing quiet as you offer to help him with the rest of his stack.

Both of you fail to notice the way Clarence's ears grow red when he lies.

You trail into idle chatter with him for the rest of the scene, head plagued with thoughts of coming off as shallow to him. Maybe he hates you. You wonder if his character hates you, or the fact that you are empty. Maybe there is some sense of hatred to see the friend that one shone brighter than the rest of the world become void of light because of others. Maybe that is what Clarence's character is feeling.

"Silan, do you hate me?"

Clarence stops his work, staring up at you. "No."

"You don't need to lie, you know?"

"I do not hate you. That is too strong of an emotion to feel." He hums. "I would just prefer... never mind."

You both know what he meant to say. Clarence's character would like yours more if you were less shallow.

"Cut!" The director calls. "Good job! Tomorrow will be busy, and then we'll start the scenes at your apartments."

You huff. You're almost done.

"Tomorrow is my confession scene." Clarence hums. "What kind of Silan would you like to see tomorrow?"

You stare at Clarence, unbothered. "An honest one."

An honest one you get.

Clarence does his hair slightly differently than usual, character crawling past your head as he confesses to you, flowers in his hand as you blink blankly at him.

"Will you go out with me?"

"...no." You mumble back immediately, character bleeding through. It's a harsh rejection, but you know she would say it a little more convincingly than you would on your own. She knows her emotions better than anyone despite the self destructive tendencies. She knows herself inside and out, all so that no one could ever hurt her ever again. You wonder if Clarence figured that out too. He probably did. He's always been brighter than you have. Maybe he had been waiting for you to figure out this character since the beginning. That was the role both of you were stuck playing as in the drama.

"Why not?"

You blink blankly at him.

"Alright." You sigh. "Why would I date someone I do not have feelings for?"

"Why not?"

"That is rude."

"Is it really?"

"You're awfully talkative today, class president." You blink at him lifelessly.

"Am I? I'm simply mimicking how you are."

You know he is. Perhaps that's why you are so irritated. You are on the other side of the stick for once. You get why Silan hates your character so much. You do not know what you want, and you pretend it is because you have everything. You are a person void of anything that is of worth.

"I suppose you are." You mumble. "Is that why you are choosing to confess today? Since it is before summer?"

Silan smiles at you. "I will see you at summer classes."

You grimace. "Then why now? Why not next year?"

"I wanted to see if you would be honest with me." He smiles.

Your character would not. There would be no honesty and personality to her until the end of summer, but Clarence must have known that to some extent. Clarence always knows. You wonder if you will ever truly outdo him in the industry and in your roles. You are not someone who is special.

Perhaps you can only shine with Clarence around.

It is a scary thought, but it is not one you have never entertained.

"Cut!" The director yells, and you stay still, staring at Clarence as he stares back, smile on his face as you know what is going to happen next.

"Can we reshoot? This one is for fun."

You groan.

Clarence always knew when a second take would be better than the first.

Your name is called for your opinion, and you grimace, but you do not disagree.

"Be meaner." Clarence nods. "Your character is starting to let the mask crack."

"I can't be mean. She won't let the mask crack." You grimace.

"By the end, when I am pushing for an answer, be mean."

"Ready?" The director waits for Clarence's cue, and you sigh.

Clarence gives a nod before the countdown starts.

Meaner.

"Class flower," Clarence smiles at you.

"Yes?" You tilt your head.

"Will you go out with me?"

You stare at Clarence, blinking to hold back a grimace. "No."

"Why not?"

"I do not like you, class president."

"You confessed to me a while ago."

Improv. Clarence was trying to break you out of what was written in the novel.

"You said you did not like shallow people, president." You force a smile.

"Well, I never said you were shallow."

"But I am." You force the corners of your mouth wider.

"Well, I still want you."

"I am not the one for you, class president." You shake your head.

"How do you know?"

You turn your back to him, stepping forward towards the door of the classroom.

"You know too, Silan." You reach for the door, freezing as Clarence holds his hand over your head, chest pressed to your back as you grimace out of reflex.

"Do I?"

You turn around, hand pressing to his lower abdomen for space, pushing him back as you grimace. You opt to ignore his question and ask another. "Why today? Would it not be funnier to ask me out in front of the whole class?"

"I wanted you to ponder over it." He smiles.

"What pondering is there to do? We both have summer classes."

"Why now, then? Why not at the end of summer?"

Clarence only looks to the side, barely cracking a smile. "I wanted to see if you would be honest with me."

You take the chance to escape from the classroom, leaving Clarence alone in the room as he finally smiles.

"I too, will piece you together."

The director yells cut as you pull open the door again, jumping in your skin at the cheering everyone had for Clarence. He is truly a star. You smile gently at the way he takes everything humbly, only saying that he wished for a second take because he felt as though you were holding back. You were. You did not want your own mask to bleed into hers. Perhaps you feared that you would become her if you became too vulnerable.

You wonder if you will ever shake free from your character.

Clarence takes the chance to slip away from the crew and run off with your wrist in his hand.

"Where— where are we going?"

Clarence only offers a smile. "I stole the keys. Where do you want to go?"

You wonder just where you want to go.

Then, you pause. "God, I want beef noodle soup so bad."

"Let's go." Clarence pulls you into his arms as he throws you over his shoulder, earning a yell from you. It's strange. Clarence would never act this way. Clarence knew the paparazzi better than they knew themselves, so he would never let himself go out with someone like this. You wonder what has changed. Perhaps he is just needs someone to listen. You suppose you're good at that, at the very least.

"Any place in particular?"

You shake your head.

"Alright." He mumbles. "I'm taking you to a sketchy place, then."

You jump in your skin.

"The paparazzi won't catch us there." He assures you, setting you down as you buckle up.

"Yeah? I thought you didn't want to be friends with an actor." You tease, brow raised as he mumbles to himself.

"You are a friend before an actor." He drives off, turning his phone off to prevent tracking from your managers. "You look troubled."

"I'm supposed to have a mental breakdown in a couple of days." You snort. "I can't look happy, now can I?"

"You are stuck in your character." He taps the drums his fingers against the wheel. "Will you be alright?"

"I will." You hum. "I promise."

"Well, press tour is in half a year, so I would not be surprised if you aren't."

"I'll be fine." You chuckle. "So? Noodles?"

"Our parents used to stop there a lot. My mom showed it to Jaclyn when she turned ten. Then, when I turned ten, I went with her. Now, I'll show it to you."

"Who's the owner?"

"You'll know when you get there."

"Imagine it's my adoptive dad." You snort.

It is not. Thankfully.

You blink at the owner as he sighs with a shake of his head, asking if Clarence wanted his usual. Clarence nods, asking for the same for you only with an extra egg, bringing the two of you to the back of the store — hidden from the view of people outside the window. You suppose this is how no one had discovered that this was his family's favorite. You wonder how many years you could have gone without knowing Clarence's grandparents ran a noodle shop like this.

"His strawberry toast is really good too." Clarence hums, lowering his voice. "Ask him for it sometime."

"Yeah?" You raise a brow.

Maybe you weren't grieving. Maybe you were just withdrawing from everyone. You barely know anything about Clarence's family, now that you think about it.

"Two bowls of your usual." The man nods, sliding one in front of Clarence and another in front of you.

"Is it spicy?"

"No." Clarence breaks your chopsticks for you, and you thank him. "Try it without anything first."

It's good. The broth is warm, and the noodles are just the right consistency. It makes you happy. It tastes like home, and the more you eat, the more you're crying, tears dribbling down your eyes onto your cheeks, ditching all formality as you shovel the noodles down your throat into your mouth to feel something again. You do not know. You aren't who you used to be, and you aren't the role you play in the drama, but it still sickens you. You will need to cry on camera again. You will need to dig up every single emotion you first felt when you returned home to an empty house, and you don't know if you're ready for that kind of a heartbreak again.

But you will get there — slowly.

You're supposed to record the heaviest scene the next day, rain pouring outside your room as you blink at the sky.

You wonder if you'll be able to pull it off.

You wait for the director, hair drenched in the rain as Clarence runs over, opening an umbrella over the two of you as he stands there.

"Class flower."

"Class flower my ass." You curse, head spinning as you don't bother looking up at him.

"Come on, talk to me."

You ignore him, hanging your head as you pull your knees closer to your chest.

The rain grows stronger in the background.

"I've ruined your life." You grumble. "Why are you still talking to me? I got your offer taken away."

"That's fine." Clarence mumbles. "You outdid me on the entrance exam leg for leg. I'm fine with going to my second choice."

"I ruined your life."

"You got what you wanted."

"I didn't want that anymore." You whimper.

Clarence stares down at you, crouching as the two of stay on the brick pavement.

"What do you want?" He whispers.

"I don't know." You cry, holding your hands over your ears as you grimace. "I don't know what I want."

"Nothing?"

"No." You shake, leaving Clarence standing over you pitifully with the umbrella.

"Then, I'll find it with you." Clarence mumbles. "I'll find it with you."

You scoff. "Yeah? You'll find what shallow old me wants? A girl with nothing under my feet and no safety net? That's quite an investment you're making, president."

"No. It is not an investment." Clarence finally squats down to your eye level. "Look at me."

You barely move.

"I'm not investing in you. You're not an investment."

"Then what am I?"

Clarence doesn't tell you, opting for the quiet drumming of the rain against the pavement instead.

"Cut!" The director calls, and you're escorted under the umbrella almost instantly, wet hair wiped down by your assistants as you meet eyes with Clarence, the male mouthing words.

'You alright?'

You nod.

The next day, you record in the apartments set up for the scene. You're glad to have the room, no more rain scenes left in the script. You're surprised you didn't catch a cold again. You blink owlishly at the room you have for the role, and you sigh, opening the door as your whole body freezes at the sight of Clarence.

"Hi, class flower."

You bat your lashes at him prettily, fighting the urge to be sarcastic. "...what a pleasure to see you!"

"You can stop acting around me, you know?" He holds the door open as you try to close it on him. It gives you deja vu, almost.

"Why? Jiangyan was the one invited over, not you." You try to shut the door, finding that your strength isn't enough compared to Clarence. He keeps the door open, smile on his face.

"Did you finish your summer homework?"

You nearly choke at the question, eye twitching as you continue to pretend around him.

"I'll give you the answers if you let me in."

"I'll let you in if you let me copy all your answers." You point at him.

"... What happened to little miss academically honest?"

"Aren't you the one who told me I don't need to pretend anymore?"

"..." Clarence scoffs. "You'll cook in exchange."

"Huh? I'm not your housewife." You pause. "Why are you here again? You live two rooms up."

"..."

"You lost your keys." You deadpan. "Call Jiangyan."

"She's on vacation."

You pause. "Mom and dad?"

"Business trip."

You squint at him, letting him in. "I'm calling Jiangyan."

"Be my guest."

You find out that Clarence is in fact locked out. You grimace at him when he shows you his empty pockets, and you grumble.

"Don't you have a password lock?"

"We swapped it out a couple of weeks ago because of a malfunction."

Wow. The universe hates your character.

"Cut!" The director yells. "Good job, you two. Are you ready for the rest of the scenes?"

You think you're going to lose a part of your sanity.

Yet, the scenes roll relatively smoothly. Clarence's character cooks around the house, and you spend the majority of your days going out or doing homework, dreading the fact that you had been too shallow to make any close friends in particular. Clarence goes out occasionally in his role, and you find that your characters get no development. You wonder if they're just filming a montage. So, you play along.

The crew wraps up early for the night.

"Can I sleep here? It looks so... comfy." You mumble.

"The entire building is rented, so yes." The director hums. "However."

You make a face.

"You will be sharing the apartment with Clarence just so the other scenes are more convincing."

"As long as no one's filming me naked." You sigh.

Clarence nods when his manager checks with him for his consent.

"I call the master bedroom!" You cheer, taking your luggage from your manager.

You keep your door locked when you're not filming, walking around the house in an extra long shirt, making use of the food in the house. Clarence seldom leaves his room at night, even while filming, and you find that it's almost like you're living alone. Almost. Jaclyn finished her scenes early so she returned to her actual home for rest, leaving only you and Clarence and a few other background actors.

You wake up to a knock on the door.

"Do you want breakfast?"

You squint at the door, pulling it open, half asleep.

"Sure?"

"Porridge?"

"I want century egg and pork." You yawn.

He nods. "Anything else?"

"And a fried egg?"

"Sure. How do you want it?

"Sunny side up." You mumble.

"Alright. We start recording soon. Brush up."

You nod.

You wonder if you're too comfortable living with Clarence. He knows almost everything about you, and it's not the first time you're the lead in a drama he's playing. You wonder if there's a bet going around that the two of you will get together at the end of the filming. Maybe you will. You wouldn't be surprised if you did. You wonder if falling in love affects Clarence as much. You're just more excited for the second male lead to show up.

He does, and your eyes light up at the actor. Holy fuck it's your celebrity crush... in the flesh...

You get to know the actor, eyes bright as you ask him about his script, talking over boundaries about where you were comfortable with being touched and where you would be uncomfortable. It's significantly easier that way, and you find that he's respectful of it, only ever throwing an arm over your shoulder or around your waist when messing with Clarence's character.

"Action!"

You try and pry yourself from the second male lead's grasp, sweating bullets as Clarence's character glares daggers into your skin.

"Fengyan..." You try.

"Hm?"

"Could you let me go?"

"I thought you loved me?"

"Yeah... but..." He tightens his grasp around your waist instead, tilting his head cheekily at Clarence.

"So?"

"How is it that you're able to let your guard down around him but not me?"

"Well, he's kind of a childhood friend—"

"I'm kind of her boyfriend." He smiles. "Who are you?"

"Her class president."

You blink at the two of you, cringing at the dialogue in your head. There's NOTHING more cringe than the words that just came out of Clarence's mouth.

"And..." He yanks you into his arms, holding you close as he raises a brow at the second male lead. "her future boyfriend."

You fight the urge to scream W rizz out loud, settling for listening to the way both of your hearts race in your chests instead.

"Cut!"

You slump into Clarence's arms, dropping to your knees as you take a breather.

"Are you alright?" Clarence crouches down to you.

"They need to tone your rizz down." You sigh. "I'm fine. Give me a moment."

Clarence holds a laugh back as O'Connor holds his hand out for you.

"Still having trouble?"

"Just a little." You sigh. "I'm surprised you signed up for this role."

"Ah..." He averts his eyes as he chuckles under his breath. "Someone told me I'd get the show of a lifetime if I played the second male lead."

You think you know who it is.

Though, you don't complain, relishing in the way your celebrity crush has an arm around you at all times just to spite Clarence. You wonder what that means for you when Clarence finally gets you for himself in the script. Maybe Silan is going to ruin your life. (You're coping with the fact that you're going to need to kiss Clarence again soon.)

You blink owlishly at Clarence as he corners you in your room, your character shaking on the ground as he looms over you comically.

"So, when were you going to tell me that he wasn't your boyfriend and that the fake moaning you were doing at night was just to keep me up?"

You muster the best smile you can give him, holding two thumbs up and hiding under him as he pulls you up by the collar of your shirt.

"You have anything to say to me?"

"Woah, student president, since when were you so rough?" You wiggle your brows back at him, expecting to render him speechless.

"Yeah? You want rough? I'll show you rough."

You aren't expecting Clarence to actually kiss you this hard. His hand stays on your shirt as he forces his lips to yours, forcing your mouth open with his free hand as he uses tongue. You wonder where he learned to kiss like that if he hasn't done a romance drama in the same amount of time that you haven't been a main lead. He kisses you like he has more to tell you than what he can through the role of his character, tongue pressed to yours as his hold eventually looses and he holds the back of your head. You get dizzy at one point, whimpering into the kiss, panting for breath when he finally lets go of you.

The two of you did NOT hear the director yell cut.

You thank the heavens when you're told you don't need to retake the scene, though.

You don't know how many more Clarence kisses with tongue you have left in you.

Thankfully, the two of you finish the cohabitation arc of the drama relatively quickly, and all the two of you have left is the final leg of campus. You don't know why they decided to split the campus arc into two, but it goes much quicker. You grab onto Jaclyn's character as the two of you grow closer.

She helps you piece yourself together. In a way, both Clarence and Jaclyn's character help you piece yourself together, but you find that ultimately your character is happier with Jaclyn. Maybe you should make this a yuri bait.

You tell your manager that your favorite episode was the classic shopping one. You had the time of your life doing something that you hadn't gotten to do in a long time. Maybe it was the semblance of normalcy you craved after you became an actor. You wonder when you'll be able to do that again.

You do a little spin for Jaclyn and Clarence's characters in front of the camera.

"You're so cute!"

"And!!" You show Jaclyn enthusiastically, "It has pockets."

"Perfect for hiding knives."

You hide behind Jaclyn at Clarence's comment.

"I think your brother's a psychopath."

Jaclyn's character can't argue with that.

You like to think you've grown closer to Clarence.

Even when the two of you are getting your makeup finished for the final scene, you wonder if he has anything else to say. Maybe he's going to improv. Maybe he's going to randomly confess to you (he won't), maybe he'll— you're just delusional. Clarence would wait for a proper time before asking you out. He wouldn't make such uncalculated moves like that.

"Ready?" The director blinks at the two of you, and you nod.

"Action!"

"Will you go out with me?" Clarence holds a different bouquet of flowers this time, smile much gentler and eyes much fonder. "Hm? Class flower?"

"I don't know, president." You tap your chin and pretend to think. "Do you really like me? Little old me? Little miss shallow me?"

Clarence rolls his eyes, yanking you to his chest with a huff.

"I am certain."

You rest your ear on Clarence's chest as you listen to his heartbeat rattle his ribcage, humming quietly as the two of you wait for the director to yell cut. It does not happen. Instead, the two of you are stuck in that position for a hot minute, your lips curling further and further upwards as you hold back a laugh to the best of your ability. You've never been so glad the camera isn't showing your face at the moment.

"Are you sure you like me?"

"Yes." Clarence mumbles. "Must I show it to you?"

"Don't you dare." You grumble.

"Cut!" The director yells. You wonder if that was for a blooper on purpose, but you don't pry. You're finished. So, when everyone is celebrating at hotpot at the completion of shooting, you stay in the apartment instead, yawning as you doomscroll on your phone. You need to know what the people are posting about the script online. It's not good for your mental health, but you get a good laugh out of everyone who claims they're going to pull their SD cards out of hiding and bring back the couple edits of you and Clarence.

You wonder if the two of you will just go back to the roles you once held in the industry. It would be funny for you to go back to being a villainess that tortures the female lead in every universe. Speaking of every universe, you wonder if you're friends with Clarence in every universe out there. Maybe you are. Maybe you aren't.

"You asleep?"

You look up from your bed, too lazy to unlock the door.

"Not yet. What's up?"

"Let me in. Let's drink."

You snort.

"You are NOT the type of person to do this." You hum.

"You're the one who set the liquor outside my door. Come on." Clarence calls.

You pull yourself out of bed reluctantly, dragging your feet to unlock the door and sit with him at the dining table, popping open a bottle as he mixes a drink.

"We're done." He hums. "How'd you get the alcohol?"

"Jaclyn." You hum. "Did you drink after your shoots?"

"I tried not to."

You nod slowly, taking a sip of the drink.

"You?"

"Often." You hum. "They don't hold back once you turn legal."

"Why didn't you ask Jaclyn to buy it for you, then?"

"I didn't leave the room after we finished." You hum. "I was packing up."

"Are you booked again?"

"Nah. I need to drop by my parents' burials." You hum. "Then, I'll meet the rest of my team at the airport."

"Are you going home?"

"I'm going to see how my guardian is doing." You hum. "Then, I'll see what else lines up."

"You're always so busy." Clarence hums, cheeks red from the alcohol.

"Will you play the role of a villain for me sometime?"

Clarence sighs, taking his glasses off with a hum. "I'll play anything you want me to."

"Even my boyfriend?"

You choose to ignore the answer Clarence gives you.

The two of you say goodbye the next day with a quick hug, quickly returning to the life the two of you had before, waiting for the press tour instead. You wonder just what kind of PR your manager would have the two of you do. You remember when Clarence had to stick by you in one of your earlier tours, and you wonder if he'll be instructed to do the same this time.

You have fun promoting the drama.

Clarence recites his lines to you as you make a face and shudder, earning a laugh from the people you're with, and you wait to see if you would win an award. Maybe you will. It's not something you're really expecting, but it would have been nice to win an award with him, you think. None of his acting has broken onto the big screens, and none of your roles have earned you an award. You think it's funny. The two of you are leg to leg. Well, that would be wrong. You don't know how many awards Clarence has won. You're sure his fans would throw a fit if they ever found out that their fav had a childhood friend.

At least he's not in love with you.

"Clarence, you've acted with quite a handful of female actors—"

You know what kind of a question the host is going to ask.

"Who was your favorite?"

"I'm biased, so obviously..." His eyes trail to yours as Jaclyn gasps in offense from the side.

"Not your beloved sister?"

"No."

You snort, hiding your face behind your hands as Jaclyn clicks her tongue and shakes her head at Clarence's reaction.

"Ah, we heard that the second male lead this time around was your celebrity crush!" The host turns to you. "So?"

"Oh..." You pretend to get shy, fanning your face. "He's such a sweetheart..."

You catch Jaclyn laugh behind the camera at Clarence's reaction.

"Yeah. Honestly, I would have picked O'Connor just for his face card." You shrug. "Have you seen him?"

"Understandable. Did you grow up watching him on TV?"

You nod. "He was one of the other reasons I started acting in the first place."

"Oh? What was your main reason?"

You tap your cheek with a wink. "That's a secret!"

It's not a secret. You're sure if someone dug hard enough they'd find the interview where you had mentioned you wanted to outdo Clarence in everything he was good at, so you followed him into the acting industry. You're sure your company had wiped that from the internet, but you still have a copy of it at home. Clarence's mom insisted that the two of you keep that video for memories. You're kind of glad she did.

"Where are you headed after this?"

You turn your head to stare at Clarence.

"Hm?"

"I was going back to the hotel."

"Do you want food?"

"And get caught?"

"Even better."

You blink at Clarence, stupefied. "What."

He smiles. "I hope I beat the headlines."

You blink at Clarence as he holds his hand out for you, pulling you as your manager yells for you in the background. White noise blurring out as you climb into the car after Clarence, cameras clicking at the sight of Clarence holding your hand. You wonder what kind of an excuse your management will come up with if Clarence doesn't actually do what he wants to.

"You're not acting like yourself."

"No one does while in love." Clarence hums. "So?"

"Where's my confession?" You raise a brow.

"This isn't as dramatic, but..." Clarence hums. "Go out with me?"

"That's so unromantic!" You hit him, turning your head to the side as he stops at the light.

"Soleil de ma vie." Clarence turns to stare at you, holding your gaze as you're overwhelmed by his eyes. "Fleur de ma coeur." "Sun of my life." "Flower of my heart."

You glance at the red light.

"I love you." He hums. "Please go out with me."

You glance at the light as you pretend to think.

Green.

"I will. Please take care of me, star of my world."

Clarence doesn't go, hand finding yours as he lets go of the brake instead, silver of a smile on his face.

"Always."

#clarence x reader #clarence clayden x reader #lovebrush chronicles #reader insert #lovebrush chronicles x reader #si lan #si lan x reader #clarence clayden #☾.fics

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dangopango00 · 9 months ago

Text

After Last Night

Waking up with him after a hookup

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 |

FAT/LBC men x gn reader (William Included for all my Aris out there)

CW: very suggestive, maybe dubcon?? (Mentioned that Lars and reader were both drunk in his)

A/N: waking up with cael is waking up behind bars thats croomf, groomf even 😭😭😭 im jp u dk him since ur childhood here ok this is a safe space

Edit: Alkaid rewrite 🥶🥶

more utc

LARS / LUO XIA (罗夏)

- SCENARIO: You’re in a similar or complementary industry to him and he’s had his eye on you a bit, admiring how you present yourself but you never really became too closely acquainted. One crazy night of drinking during a negotiations meeting later and two lonely busy old people get busy (30 isnt old sorry. Uncalled for)

- You wake up first; he is KNOCKED OUT

- He wakes up with the wildest bedhead normally and even moreso today. He’s drooling and sprawled out across the couch with a loose hold on your body (Just his arm slung around you as he sleeps)

- His grip on you tightens if you try to leave the couch but if you’re insistent he’ll just let you go; whine grumbles about it in his sleep

- He has work and he’s very busy so he’ll have to leave soon but he wants to make it up to you because he wasn’t being professional; he makes the effort to at least chat or have breakfast with you before leaving which you don’t mind since you’re busy as well

- He usually doesn’t do hookups since he’s busy, doesn’t want to lead anyone on and knows he’ll get attached too easily so he rlly dk what happened, he was lonely but ayayay this is a mess. He does his absolute best to make things less awkward for you

- This scenario would actually be so wild bc if you wanted to do it again while sober I don’t think he’d say no LOL as soon as you had breakfast/chatted he started to like you even more I think and remembers last night being really great so

- I don’t think he’d initiate it if you did do it again though because he feels really bad about being unprofessional but ever since that night if he ever sees you his eyes are glued to you, your body and all its curves and/or edges; he’s so distracted help him 😭😭

- It’s even worse if he’s pent up, he actually will just. Avoid you if you don’t assure him it’s alright he doesn’t want to be weird and he knows he wont be able to focus so he gets a little nervous around you from then on

ALKAID / LU CHEN (路辰）

- SCENARIO: You’re his classmate and more importantly, his film dealer. You’ve been selling him film and camera repairs for a pretty good price compared to how high the quality is from a small shop that doesn’t get too much traction because it’s more of an antique shop but you do offer more. He was usually standardly polite and short maybe with an extra question out of curiosity here and there before becoming a regular over time. You eventually started tacking on a few more comments and questions than necessary but not so many that it’s noticeable, chatting him up a bit im class as well until you started actively seeking him out, being curious about him and you two became friends. Since this is an edit I’m gonna say like Ayn, you’re probably already in a situationship by the time you hook up but unlike Ayn you haven’t kissed yet (he’d at least ask you out or vice versa before kissing i think) You were over at his apartment to study and help bathe Sparkle; just generally hang out and after a PAINFUL amount of tension building with playful comments and little touches so much so that you ended up kissing him and one thing lead to another !!

- You wake up first but likely go back to sleep and he wakes up during that time tbh. I feel like his home is cozy as hell not to mention Sparkle climbing up and cuddling with you

- He let you wear his clothes to bed since yours got messy and he noticed that you were shivering, freezing from wearing. Well. Nothing. So he let you borrow something and his entire face is red including his ears an neck, it’s quite a view— both you and him

- He ghosts his thumb over your features, his gentle touch almost unnoticeable as he notes each unique thing about you as if trying to identify different stars in the sky

- You had already cuddled up to him in your sleep and he lays in bed with you in his loose embrace for an absurd amount of time until he decides his heart has had enough and gets up to make you both breakfast, you stirring a bit in your sleep in the process

- He kept trying to find an opportunity to get up before but you clung to him so he couldn’t find it in himself to leave you gn but when he did eventually get up he just kissed the crown of your head and gently pulled your arms off of him, then laying you down

- His bed head is just his normal hair honestly and he doesn’t move too much, just snores a little bit and slightly drools

- He’s embarrassed the rest of the day, his usual charismatic persona failing on him when he needs it most and he’s a bit nervous not knowing if you’d felt the same as him or if it was just lust. Though all that is quickly nipped in the bud when you give him a kiss on the cheek and confess properly, holding his hands in yours

- Deciding he’s wasted enough time being a dork He offers to take you on your first date in a nearby cafe since it was pretty impromptu but he still says it with a helpless smile and slight blush. On this date he def took pictures and has them pinned on his wall; they’ll quickly become some of his most prized photos

CLARENCE / SI LAN (司岚）

- SCENARIO: You two went to the same high school all four years and maybe even the same middle school at some point but you never really interacted because he was busy with schoolwork and so were you so you really never felt the need to bother him. Little did you know Clarence had the biggest crush on you since you met and after being acquainted through the student council you became friends. Upon growing closer and some worrying about how little he relaxes later and you mayyy have accidentally made out with him a little in the council room after hours 🥺 then took it back to your apartment 🥺🥺 and ended up sleeping together 🥺🥺🥺

- He wakes up first and just stares at the ceiling. how did this happen oh my god. Not in a bad way but oh my GOD. -Clarence

- He’s so embarrassed by last night especially with his own behavior. Just remembering the sounds he made and the words he said has him reeling; he must’ve told you he loved you 100,000 times

- he just stays completely still hoping you’re still asleep and once you wake up he shuts his eyes so fast kind of trying to pretend to be asleep but with how tightly his eyes and lips are shut you know he’s awake

- You give him a little kiss on his eyelids and lips and he knows he’s caught; he blushes but then kind of just lets a small exasperated smile wash over his face; he really doesn’t know what to do

- His bedhead is basically the same as his normal but more messy around the bangs also he snores a tiny bit but thats pretty much it

- He’s pretty happy and normal when he isn’t thinking about the specifics of last night’s events

- He even goes ahead and makes breakfast for you and him as well as his cats (they’re probably the ones who woke yall up lol)

- He doesn’t do hook ups and he’s liked you so long so he reaalllly realllllllllyyyyy hopes you’ll consider getting to know him more and let him take you out on a couple dates because even if his hands are clammy the whole time he’d be so happy

WILLIAM / CHEN ZIHAN (陈子涵）

- SCENARIO: You two have always been best friends with no question of whether or not your feelings were platonic. Well he had no question. You on the other hand had been crushing on him for a while now but didn’t want to ruin the friendship. That was until college. He started noticing you more and your qualities: how you’ve matured and how you’re there when no one else is, so his feelings have gotten a little bit more than just platonic. He justified it as appreciation and normal friend things all the way up until you two suddenly decided to “test out” what kissing and making out would be like. Platonically of course. Since neither of you had ever been in a serious relationship. The sex part was just testing too, trust 🙏

- You wake up first but that doesn’t stop him from having an existential crisis when he wakes up

- You’re excited although a bit nervous from anticipation honestly since you already knew your feelings were not platonic but you didn’t know what he’d think so instead of worrying you just poke his face and admire him sleeping

- His bedhead is crazy, some of his hair sticks up and he has a pool of drool under him. He snores too— finally getting to release his feelings has him K.Od it was tew good

- You go to make breakfast or shower or something and he’d probably wake up during that time bc he doesn’t feel your warmth anymore

- Like Clarence, Liam wakes up perplexed and embarrassed and he’s worried he may have crossed a line doing what he did last night since you were supposed to be just friends! He’s freaking out so bad! come back he needs reassurance 😭

- When you get back he’s so apologetic and is just so nervous around you until you broach the subject, reassuring him that you don’t mind what happened

- After you sort out your thoughts on what happened and have a loooong talk about it you’re pretty much back to being normal and you even hang out for a bit longer, watching some movies and baking together although he does still blush and fumble his words around you a little

- He’s scared to tell you he would rather be yours than be your fwb (friend with benefits) bc this is his first hookup but considering he’s been your best friend and crush for so long you feel the same way so you end up dating pretty soon after

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