#don’t take this post too seriously i’m just rambling lol

[tariah23]

sukugo for the ship bingo 🫡

(The artist I mentioned in the tags… I love their stuff, it’s so fun ahh)

[cha1cedony]

I love that Discord has the ability to be so cozy and close-knit, but I hate that it’s so blocked off from the rest of the internet. And you can’t lurk; you HAVE to be active (or at least active enough to get in in the first place). Ahem anyway. you should invite me to your Discord servers.

🌀 Oooooo you want to invite me to your extremely niche DnDads Discord servers so bad ooooooooooooooooooooo 🌀

…or send me an anonymous ask about my favorite uhhhhhhh? mustelid or something. Ask me for good Lieder on a specific theme.. I’ve been listening to them all day. Maybe this shouldn’t be on my fandom blog???? It has been derailed ANYWAY idk I’m just feeling antsy and rambly hi 😁 How are you HAHA

[chellychuu]

Current goal: become one of those artists who can consistently sell their adopts for $100+ 🥹

[remxedmoon]

i hit 1k followers recently!!!! yipee!!!!!!! thank you all!!! so in celebration here’s all of my completed isat doodle pages, from oldest to newest. go nuts with them!! and maybe don’t look at the first doodle page too closely. it’s Old.

(no greyscale version below for once! just some mushy ramblings. you don’t have to read them don’t worry)

hhhhhha?? so many people. where did you come from. how did you all find me.

ok but seriously, thank you all so much for all the support. i never really. expected to make it this far? like, ever?? i’ve mentioned it a few times on here, but i’ve been a lurker for the past… 2 years, i think? and even before that, i never gained much traction outside of a couple posts. so this has been. very new to me!! in a nice way!! it’s weird to feel like an actual member of a community!! that people know about!

the idea of finally coming back to social media was Daunting (i literally got stress hives writing my first post lol) and the warm reception really. meant a lot?? i don’t think i would’ve ever gotten the courage to come back if i hadn’t been encouraged to by the people over at the isat discord!!

the fact that people actually care about my art still doesn’t feel real?? seeing people take inspiration from my art is just. surreal. just. auagssh. thank you all so so much for everything, i really do appreciate it!!! i’m really glad to be in this community. sorry if this all sounds sappy and long winded i’ve just got a lot of emotions about this whole thing!!

(also as a bonus for reading all this or whatever. here’s a concept page for isatscryption! it felt a little out of place next to my normal canvases so i’m putting it down here! yipee! sorry my notes here are so disjointed auauau…)

[supersunshine10]

This is legit the most “literally me” I have felt to a Tumblr post tbh,

Never have I ever agreed this much to such a specific Tumblr post about a cartoon, but you are SO REAL for this! Agree 100%!

Holding myself back from writing a rant about fake Snoopy fans rn. *inhale* I'm a grown adult. *exhale* I can do this

[catboybiologist]

Hi! I’m CatboyBiologist.

Formerly a femboy, now a trans woman just starting HRT, and a PhD student in molecular biology. I started using this online persona as a fun, shitposty way to explore gender a few years ago. I post selfies (generally sfw, but somewhat sexy, so minors and ppl who don’t like that have been warned), rambles about science, tutorials and advice from the stuff I’ve learned by being a femboy in the past, nature pictures, stuff about the ocean, my adorable grumpy little tortoise, and unsolicited opinions on random nerdy topics. Any pronouns are fine. I don’t plan to socially transition for a while, and still present as a man most of the time, so I’m used to whatever you wanna use for me (for now, I’ll update this if that changes). Please send me pictures of your pets or other cute animals in your life!

As a scientist, I’m also documenting my transition! This google sheet will be updated at least monthly. I also have additional metrics I’m keeping to myself, and pictures that go with this, but I’m not sharing them publicly yet. Keep in mind that this is just one person’s experience with HRT, and may not represent universal trends!

Adding a little something here, bc I think it was an interesting bit a writing: if you want to see me respond to a transphobe about what "biologically female" means, here's a thing I wrote about it. CW for transphobia and discussion, obviously.

Also, if any of my measurements look weird, its entirely possible I fucked up. Let me know if anything looks off!

Here’s some of my favorite pre-HRT pictures:

If you want to see more of my pre-HRT selfies, browse the “femboy” tag on my blog!

And as of this writing, I’m only 2 days after the start of HRT, so here’s a picture with my tortoise that’s technically post-HRT (but with 0 time for actual changes):

If you want to see my future post-HRT selfies, browse the “trans selfie” tag on my blog!

Also here's another really cute picture and fanart of my tortoise by @whalesharkcat:

I have affectionately given my tortoise the title of The Grumpus.

I also wrote a couple of tutorials and general vibes about being a femboy before I started HRT:

Sometimes I make shitposts of myself, I don’t take myself too seriously:

This includes the way I came out on tumblr:

And here’s an overly serious, long ramble about trans thoughts and things that I wrote shortly afterwards:

Later addition: Someone asked how I take selfies, so I wrote a quick and dirty guide with some tips on how I do so in response to their ask:

Oh yeah and apparently I was a 196 microcelebrity? I never to thought I was popular enough for that but apparently some people do 🤷‍♀️. So uh, hi 196 tags, I'm abusing you for my pinned post LOL

As for terminology, I personally do think of myself as a “man who is becoming a woman” as opposed to having always been a woman. If that doesn’t resonate with your experience, I totally get that! But that’s why I freely call pre-HRT me a femboy, while still calling post-HRT me a trans woman. I’m also keeping the blog name as CatboyBiologist for the forseeable future, because at this point, Catboy just seems like a gender neutral term to me.

I’m also trying to put together a script for a podcast regarding how studying biology influenced my perspective on sex and gender- lmk if there’s any interest in that! It’s probably gonna be way too long and indulgent but oh well.

So uh. Yeah. I don’t end these types of things well. Byeeeeee

[coralhoneyrose]

fun chrom and or robin headcanons? chrobin headcanons?

alternatively what are some widely accepted or constantly brought up things in the awakening fandom that you hate?

my fun headcanon is they try to both be objective and somewhat professional as leaders but when c&r are alone together they love to gossip. you know theyve seen some stuff

Oooh what a fun question! I’m sure as soon as I hit post I’ll remember a bunch more but here’s what I was able to come up with~

Robin: I actually like head-canoning Robin as having ADHD. I could ramble about that for ages tbh but I think they fit the “twice exceptional” profile really well and that a combination of being an anxious perfectionist and having an attention disorder would make a lot of sense given that we know Robin is both very confident in their tactics and intelligence but also prone to workaholic tendencies with pushing themselves to extremes to make sure they’ve thought of everything. I also headcanon Robin as being kind of a slob LOL like I think their room would always be a mess with things strewn everywhere but *they* know where everything is meant to be so don’t even think about moving anything, Frederick >:(

Also this may be obvious from my writing, but I like headcanoning Robin as having darker skin than in canon in large part to circumvent Awakening’s unfortunate tendency to only feature that trait for Plegians who are antagonists. OH! And I love the idea of Robin being touch-starved when the shepherds first find and adopt them too.

Chrom: I headcanon he has very pretty cursive handwriting that he was forced to learn by his tutors growing up; that he low-key kinda likes PDA; that he’s mindlessly touchy with Robin specifically, even before he realizes his feelings; that he has a praise kink; that he is a morning person; and that he’s not particularly religious, despite being….ya know, the exalt of a halidom.

Idk if it’s cheating to also list that I headcanon him as biromantic demisexual (given that I have a whole fic about that) but I’m restating it anyway because that one is very dear to me. Also! I did not come up with this one myself, but I saw a tweet from another Chrobin author once about how they hc that Chrom would abdicate the throne before he gets particularly old to help ensure that Lucina’s coronation is a happy and celebratory event, and I love that idea and thinks it suits both of them really well <3

I think the one you shared is cute and fitting for them too! Both of them take their jobs really seriously so I can absolutely see them making an effort to keep too many court politics out of their work but then debriefing about stuff and laughing at all the stuffy nobles together after to help maintain their sanity.

As for things brought up / widely accepted in the fandom that I dislike and / or strongly disagree with, the three that come most immediately to mind are:

- That Chrom and Robin have a dumb one / smart one dynamic. I think they’re both very competent leaders and that while Robin is clearly the smarter of the two, I’ve always interpreted Chrom as probably having above average intelligence and just being really blunt and kind of oblivious / not tactful in certain delicate social situations which….tbh I fully believe Robin can be guilty of that sort of thing as well LOL

- That the f!Chrobin supports are “objectively” some of the worst in the game”. I can definitely understand and sympathize with some of the complaints about them, but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re my favorite supports in awakening full stop. And I do also think that a subset of the complaints leveled at them are wildly off base

- That male and female Robin have different personalities. I just do not think this is true. I think the differences we see in their supports are pretty much always a direct function of being treated differently by the other character on account of their gender and responding to those differing circumstances accordingly

I have started drafting and ultimately aborted so many posts making arguments for all these points but somewhere along the line I usually remind myself to take a deep breath and that people can enjoy these characters and ships however they want to. Ultimately if I don’t like something, it’s easy enough for me to tune it out and keep doing my own thing and I’ve found fandom has become a lot more pleasant that way LOL

Andddd I think that covers everything? Thanks so much for the ask—I had a lot of fun answering it as probably evidenced by how long this turned out to be asjfk

[synthwave-selfships]

Blog revival intro!

Howdy hey! I’m Synth/Zone, this is my selfship blog! Let’s start off with my other blogs:

@1nto-the-zone - my main, the place I reblog miscellaneous stuff, rarely do anything else there

@zones-spinterest-corner - my fandom/interest blog, has a lot of info and the before you follow/will block if section of the intro applies here too! Be warned that I mainly post Just Shapes and Beats/The Pink Corruption content there and rarely anything else atm so don’t follow if you won’t want to be bombarded with stuff you’re not interested in lol

Now! Onto some selfship-specific info!

- I’m fine with sharing, although I have no clue if anyone else even shares the same main f/o as me lmao

- I do not take this very seriously, it’s a fun thing and imo if it goes beyond just fun and becomes something that genuinely causes you pain it’s not a healthy coping mechanism anymore

- I may not interact with the community a whole lot and don’t care if other people don’t really interact because of that, this is my ramble space about my f/os mainly (I may participate in the occasional reblog game!)

- I think ColeyDoesThings’ video hit the nail on the head about how selfshippers can take things too far and I agree with virtually every point in it so if you don’t want to interact with someone who shares that pov then leave pls I’m not gonna change my opinions and I do not want arguments about it (if you try and start one I will block you no hesitation)

Finally, onto the main event: my f/os!!

Romantic:

Circubit/Circusic (The Pink Corruption) - tags are [ 🎶 | Stereo Hearts (Circubit) ] and [ 🎵 | APT. (Circusic) ] (main f/o!!!!)

Familial:

Zone J. Arcenciel (oc) (viewed as my son, as I am his creator therefore his parent) - tag is [ ⭐️ | son boy allowed (Zone) ]

Decep Arcenciel (oc) (same as above) - tag is [ 💥 | BlackBoxWarrior (Decep) ]

Decep and Zone combined tag: [ 💫 | Brothers In Crime (Arcenciel Bros) ]

Ceroba Ketsukane (Undertale Yellow) (viewed as mother figure) - tag is [ 🦊 | A Mother’s Love (Ceroba) ]

Pure Vanilla Cookie (Cookie Run Kingdom) (viewed as grandfather figure) - tag is [ 🍦 | Fallen Down (Pure Vanilla) ]

Niko (OneShot) (viewed as child/nibling) - tag is [ 💡 | Phosphor (Niko) ]

Platonic:

Garcello and Annie (Atsuover/FNF Hazy River) - tag is [ 🍟 | Unleashed! (Garcello and Annie) ]

[List last edited: 23/12/2024]

[maxdibert]

Hi👋

How are you?

Firstly, wanted to tell you how much I adore your posts. Everyday I log on and a smile comes onto my face when I see you posted. Honestly, I've learnt so much about classism and its effects from you. I knew what it was but not how severely it could actually influence people and have them make choices that could in no way end well. Loved your analysis on poor and abused youth often joining extremist cults for all sort of reasons and such. Truly, I've learnt a lot. ❤

Secondly, I saw someone asking you about Severus' ships and more specifically, Jeverus came up and I wanted to share my opinion on it😁 It truly is an abuser x victim, huh? Even if they adressed the past and James apologized or whatnot, it still doesn't sit right with me. 1. Cause he is still Severus' abuser and 2. Cause it just is not in James' personality to be remorseful. He is not the type of person to feel sorry for what he has done cause he doesn't see any wrong in it. His "apology" would act as a facade. And for love, judging from what he is like, James' "love" could only be a psychotic obssession. With the way he and Sirius are fixated on Severus in canon, it's not too far off, but the "feelings" would just be the intoxication that his power and control over Severus would bring him. Based on how love starved Snape is and how blind he becomes to the faults of those he loves (Lily's attitude that he just cannot see), he would be very susceptible to such treatment. From the way I see it, James is pretty good at reading people and maneuvering them in a way that benefits him(becoming Sirius' "moral compass" to the point Sirius judges everything with James' standards, being "friends" with a werewolf but Remus is just distrustful enough that he knows correcting the marauders' behaviour may result in their "friendship" ending even if Sirius used him as a murder weapon and a toy for a "joke", Peter being his personal cheerleader but betraying him cause he is not as easy to control, putting Lily on a pedestal while promising to stop tormenting her best friend). Therefore, he would know how to "handle" a boy absolutely starved for love and affection even with their past involved. It just looks like a recipe for disaster to me.

Lastly, I keep sharing your ideas and arguments with my friends at the university. I'm an English philologist and all the girls there love Severus so it's very fun. We mock the marauders and the delusional part of their fandom together. Thank you for your service😁

Hope I didn't bother you too much,

Thank you❤

Holissss! Omg, thank you so much for everything you say, you’re going to make me blush and everything!!! Hahaha, no, but seriously, I’m glad I can at least entertain you a bit with my mental ramblings, and that they have some kind of use for people and not just me ranting non-stop lol.

Well, I don’t have a hard time imagining James knowing how to handle a situation and manipulate the people around him. I mean, I don’t think he was a genius in that regard, but being a rich kid who could solve problems with money, it wouldn’t surprise me either. Like, in the end, all his great deeds come down to having money and using it, don’t they? He offers Sirius a place to live (because he’s got cash and his parents are super rich, and obviously they’re not going to have any issue supporting another kid because they’re filthy rich), and he also gives Remus money and supports him when, after Hogwarts, he can’t find a job (again, because he can—it’s easy for him because he’s rich, so of course it costs him nothing).

I mean, to me, those don’t seem like great deeds—it’s the bare minimum you can expect from yourself if you’re a multimillionaire, and it’s not like it takes any effort to help or requires you to give up or sacrifice something. You can do it because you have more than enough. It’s like a billionaire donating millions to help after a natural disaster—like, and so what? If they’re donating that money, it’s because it doesn’t represent a loss to them, not because they genuinely intend to help. Real help happens by changing the foundations of the society you live in and overhauling the system, not by throwing bills in the air. But I’m a Marxist, what do you want me to say—eat the rich.

Anyway, that he’d know how to manipulate a kid with needs? Obviously. And it would be easy for him with all the money he had—like, I don’t doubt it for a second.

I always say you can only really like the Marauders if you’re under 20 years old. Once you’re an adult, if they don’t make you feel some kind of anguish or if you’re not aware that they were kind of shitty people, then you should probably take a good hard look at yourself lol.

[mrdairyy]

Howdy travelers! Making a pinned post because yeh

You can call me Mr.dairyy, Mr.D, MD, Dairyy or just D ||Pronouns: idc but I prefer she/they most|| Minor :>||Aroace I think?|| joined: 9/4/2023 ||

I’m an artist that draws my ocs, fan art of fandoms, art of aus from others or my own, and sometimes I draw others ocs or take requests (but it’s rare)

Sun and moon show aus I’ve made:

|| Iced out || wonderland show || harp strings (wip) || small but mighty (wip) || I’ll add more if I think of any :3

Fandoms I’m in:

Undertale, tsbs, deltarune, fnaf, the owl house, tadc, gravity falls, rain world, arcane, and DCA

My ocs [refs wip]:

Rue/Mr. Dairyy

Entity/doc

Tater-tot

Quill

Tink

Tank

Grayson/Dr. Felix

Cyrus

C.C

Mac

Mars

Kai

Ruben

Cy

Nora

This account is all fun and games so don’t take it too seriously

I like answering asks about me, my ocs, or my aus, and don’t worry, I probably won’t bite lol

Sometimes I might tag things wrong or forget to put a warning on something triggering, if this happens please tell me! I can’t read your mind (sad I know)

Tags:

Dairyy rambles: just me talking

Lactose draws: my art

Secrets uncovered: oc lore, stuff like that

Ooo asks!!!: answered asks

There’s some things I won’t tolerate:

Homophobia

Racism

Transphobia

Any drama happening in the tsams fandom

Harassment

Graphic/ explicit things

NSFW

Political things

Anything that you know for a fact isn’t ok

[smoshsfavoritepizzaplace]

I don't want to be that person, but why does every post that has Shayne being affectionate with Courtney get inundated with comments like....

"No one is going to take her bro, calm down!"

or

Relax man, you're married!

I respect a good joke once in awhile, but when it is accompanying almost every post like the photo booth ones today, it is a little overkill, no?

Obviously they are married, so why not allow them to be however clingy/touchy they want to be?

I know people are gonna say it is in reference to the comment Shayne made back in the day about affection in the agree to disagree series. In all honesty though, he just has his hand on their shoulder because they are wedged in there and they seem to be sitting on his lap and he is making sure they don't fall, I think?

Even with all that conjecture out of the way, there isn't anything wrong with his hand placement anyway. I mean this happens with almost every other photo of them like this. It also happened back at the bachelor/bachelorette party and with the wedding photos too.

They are clearly more comfortable than ever and it just seems weird to make "jokes" like these.

For me, I equate it to how people, including myself get upset with others assuming Shayne took every single one of Court's ig photos or them being constantly bombarded with questions about where Shayne is or for them to do tiktoks together.

It just feels like this has gotten stale. And after that awkward comment on the most recent Smoshmouth episode about Shayne ignoring Court and then ending it with OP encouraging Court to run already, WTF?

And I've seen fans on Smoshtwt that were quick to call this out for being parasocial and wrong, which is amazing btw, but not this though?

This harkens back to what was discussed on the reveal Smoshmouth, how they wanted people to respect their privacy and not dissect everything they do/what is posted.

I'm sorry this was a long ramble, but I just felt like this was a bit odd, ya know? I don't want to stop people from taking the piss out of something by any means, but at least to me this feels like it has overstayed it's welcome.

✌

No need to apologize, your opinion is very valid! But I honestly take it as a joke. I don’t think most people who say those things mean it seriously. I think it’s just a trend where someone is seen holding something very closely/tightly and people will comment that. I especially see it on Twitter and a bit on TikTok so it’s a high likely hood of it not necessarily relating directly to Shayne and Courtney and more a running bit on the app. Here’s an example of a random one I found lol

But yeah with the smosh mouth comment was really overboard. If you haven’t seen it, someone commented on the one from yesterday about how Shayne was apparently “ignoring” Courtney and only paying attention to Amanda and Courtney should run already. I can’t even really express how dumb that thought is because I feel like it’s just common sense. Like shourtney and Amanda are in two very secure marriages so I really don’t get how people are like, “oh, Amanda is so disrespectful of their/her own relationship!” If I’m being honest, I feel like Amanda flirts with almost every one BUT Shayne. She literally calls Spencer hot every chance she gets, has marriage allegations with Angela, has kissed Olivia and Courtney (technically), and many more and she flirts the most with Shayne? Idk how that makes sense lol.

[ninyard]

Heya! I’m new to writing fanfic despite reading for more than half of my life, and I have maybe a silly question: do you get help from a beta? How does one…find that help? 😅 I have a TRC and a TFC fic I need to complete and no godly clue how to find someone to read over what I write so I don’t obsess myself into spirals on my own haha.

I don't personally! But not for any specific reason - I think if literally ANYONE turned around to me and said they would be cool with beta reading my fics I would LOVE that shit. With the amount of mistakes I miss even after half a dozen rereads, I probably should have one lol

In general what I do is just step away from things for a day or two once I think they're finished, then read through it all, and if I trip up over anything in my brain, or find anything that feels a bit too wordy/like a mouthful, I'll revise it. I hate second drafts with a PASSION but for my first draft I usually write out the whole thing, with its bare bones, and fill in the gaps later. If you get stuck on something, just move on and come back to it later. Need to describe another character but don't know what to do? Just write 'He had blue eyes and brown hair' and move on. Things like that. It's so much easier to come back to it and fix it then fixating on it and getting nowhere. (i do a lot of additions in my edits, hence how my most recent fic went from 13k words in the first draft to 18k after the edit.)

I'm one of those losers that gets inspired by reading my own writing, so stepping away from fics when you think you've spent too much time spiralling over it, to come back to it later, is a LIFESAVER. Things you thought you were stuck on will get so much clearer once your brain has had a break, once you've """forgotten""" the exact words you wrote down. Read it from the beginning like it's your first time reading it, read every word, and if something takes you out of it, then figure out why and fix it.

Most importantly try not to be too worried about numbers and other peoples' opinions. It's easy to become discouraged when you're 5 chapters into a fic and it feels like nobody is reading it or liking it, but write for yourself!

Practice makes better, because it’ll never be perfect. Just have fun, don’t take it too seriously, and write what you want to read. Make a post and tag the fandom on it asking if anyone wants to be a beta reader, or maybe ask if anyone wants to “swap” (you beta read theirs and they read yours). I don’t know though!!!! I have never ever written with a beta reader so I don’t really have any advice there:((

I'm sorry I know you didn't ask for advice and I hope this doesn’t come across as rude or anything. We all start somewhere!! Here’s snippets from a fic I wrote in 2016 vs a different one I wrote this year.

Everybody starts somewhere, I’ve been writing fics for like 12 years and I still doubt if my writing is any good. Sure, validation is nice, but you have to trust yourself (and like your own stuff!!). and if you feel worried about your writing just keep going!!!! You’ll find your style and settle into it but just trust yourself and have fun my friend!! You’ve got this<3

(This got way too long and I rambled too much I’m so sorry)

[zhaohuis-lost-walnut]

Reading Update

[spoilers up to chapter 183]

BRO, I have been immersed in reading these last few days. I legit only do my homework and read QJJ 😭 I just finished chapter 183 and SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED???

Yes, that’s over 40 chapters since my last post but we don’t need to talk about that part. I’m gonna just ramble for a bit about general things that I adore.

First of all, Shen Zechuan’s squad of people just keeps increasing. I love how so many Qudu characters casually (not casual at all actually, it’s quite traumatic—) make their way to Cizhou and Shen Zechuan collects them like Pokémon. I was so excited when Yu Xiaozai showed up! Yao Wenyu really hurts me though. I honestly really liked Xue Xiuzhuo as an antagonist because he managed to outwit our protagonists on several occasions, but what he did to Yao Wenyu was just too cruel :( The chasing him down AT HAI LIANGYI’S RESTING GROUND? The assassins beating Yao Wenyu and later having him poisoned??? Like, chill out? Even Shen Zechuan ain’t doing all that 😭 And Yao Wenyu’s self talk is just so heart breaking :(((

Okay, now I’m sad. So instead, XIAO FANGXU?!? He’s such a fun character. One aspect I find really interesting about Xiao Chiye is that after he leaves Qudu he mentions several times how he separates his family and the Libei Armored Cavalry. And it seems Xiao Fangxu is the same (though perhaps to a lesser degree since he let Chiye run off for a bit to be with Shen Zechuan in Dunzhou 🤣). There are so many moments where I go “Yep, Chiye is Fangxu’s son”. They’re so silly.

The Xiao family immediately loving Shen Zechuan is so funny too. Lu Yizhi visiting Shen Zechuan’s place in Cizhou was crazy 😭 And her feeling Shen Zechuan out to write to the family was hilarious. I miss Xiao Jiming 😔

Chapter 161 with Xiao Fangxu and Chiye’s horse race was so sweet. I almost cried. They’re both so petty but MAN are the Xiaos romantic 🥹

There are too many things I could write about! This story is just so incredible!

Learning about Bai Cha??? She’s such an incredible character and the way the story slowly showed more and more about her until we’re learned the absolute girl boss she is! The whole Dunzhou trip arc was just perfect from start to finish. I’m truly in awe at how a human being can create a story so incredible.

I’m honestly itching to read ever more as I write this but there’s no way I can leave without mentioning how dang cute Cezhou are 😭😭😭 Everytime they’re together I get butterflies. The way Shen Zechuan can relax around Chiye is sooooo great 😩 Even when Xiao Chiye is (rightfully) upset with Shen Zechuan for not taking care of himself, Shen Zechuan tries to act all cute so he’ll stop being mad. And Shen Zechuan verbally telling Chiye he loves him for the first time had me tearing up 🥺 Chapter 164 in general is so sweet and vulnerable.

Xiao Chiye snitching to Ji Gang in chapter 144 was both silly and cathartic because Shen Zechuan not taking his safety serious is a very real issue! Fei Sheng having to essentially babysit Shen Zechuan is absolute gold 👌

Oh Fei Sheng, my beloved! I care him so hard.

Uh, what else? The fights are really cool. Every time Shen Zechuan pulls up on the battlefield I get so hyped 😤 The fights are choreographed so well! I shouldn’t be suprised but I’m always left in awe by how incredible they are! And the fact that the author isn’t scared to let people get hurt or even lose?!? It makes every blow carry so much weight!

Xiao Chiye vs Hasen had me stressing so bad 😫 And the lasting impact it has on Chiye is phenomenal. Shen Zechuan vs Lei Jingzhe (for the second time lol) was so sick. Shen Zechuan’s monologue gave me chills. And Xiao Chiye “returning” Tantai Hu and the other old Dunzhou garrison troops seriously wrecked me. I love Tantai Hu! I know he’ll make Master proud!!!

I love that we get more insight on Xiao Chiye and Shen Zechuan’s mental states! Shen Zechuan keeps secrets from Xiao Chiye because he doesn’t want to worry him, but Chiye does the same thing >:( I understand why they do it, but it still hurts to read.

Also also Yan Heru is so silly. Though I felt kinda bad when its made clear Shen Zechuan doesn’t like him because a lot of people did die because this kid is kinda crazy 😗 I was more caught up in how eccentric he is that I completely forgot about the whole financially supporting bandits and starving the people for profit stuff (amongst other things). I still can’t help but have a soft spot for him though because he’s so silly? Like, he’s so unserious 🗿

Okay, actual last thing before I log off: I think it’s INSANE that Shen Zechuan is out here calling Xiao Chiye his husband in front of their enemies while Ji Gang still doesn’t know 👁️👄👁️ I don’t think we’ve seen Shen Zechuan even think about telling him 😭 He’s BEEN planning about taking Ji Gang to Dajing but still hasn’t told him (Ji Gang being sus about their relationship in chapter 183 is so funny)

The military stuff is really cool too but I ain’t getting into all that. Just know I deeply appreciate the Qi Zhuyin content 🙂‍↕️💖 Keep it coming 🗣🗣🗣

[hallowsnothorcruxes]

I feel the same way tbh, I’m a og wolfstar shipper but they (the current marauder stans) kinda ruined the marauders era for me lately. The wolfstar tag isn’t even remotely related to them any more 💔 Fanon and headcanons that I don’t vibe with have taken over everything it feels. idk just don’t like the vibes lately :(

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, it can be really frustrating and sad! 🫶🏻

I have to admit I this started out as a marauders blog 10 yrs ago, too (love remus!!) but quickly turned into a general hp blog, because I was never a big wolfstar shipper or anything, so it was really just the name that stuck. (Everyone knows I’ve always been Dumbledore’s man anyway lol)

But I can imagine how alienating it must feel to be an og in today’s marauders fandom. I also feel like it has gotten a little out of hand with fanon taking over canon and like if most people in the tag enjoy that, they should, but as you said I don’t vibe with that either. (Literally came back on here after hiatus and was so confused to see regulus/jegulus in like almost every post??)

I feel like maybe a lot of it is due to a new generation of marauders fans that have decided to ditch canon altogether (or weren’t even HP fans to begin with) and simply focus on fanon - fueled ofc by some popular fanfics and absolved by JKR’s increasingly problematic online behaviour.

But I also feel like, while it’s sad, there’s no point in being bitter or seriously annoyed about it. It’s still media, people may enjoy whatever they enjoy and if so many people are vibing with it, well they can have their fun. Perhaps there’s something I don’t get about it and this is really just the musings of an old fan, too long in the fandom already. I don’t know. But since I’ve come back, I made my peace with the fandom. I won’t argue with bashers anymore, I won’t get annoyed at canon-ignoring takes anymore, I craft my small bubble and stay in it and only engage with the stuff I enjoy. (Took me the hiatus to do that tho - was necessary because I feel like the grindeldore fandom shortly went through what the marauders fandom does, too, when FB came out. Just on a smaller scale and it was really overwhelming for me who was used to the grindeldore fandom having like a handful peoples in it for more than 10 years.)

Anyway, sorry for rambling - all that is to say I feel you and I’m sorry that it sucks!

[drawloverlala]

May Status Update

It’s May! well basically like an hour into it lol 😆, anyways I wanted to write an entry about stuff and the progress on my current commission batch! 

Commission batch work in progress:

🌸 Commissions without background: 11 in total

1 still not started

3 still on sketch phase

1 is on base colors

5 are finished! 

🌸 Commissions with background: 4 in total

still not started: 2

sketch in progress: 3

from last time I got 2 commissions more, that before I was waiting on which listing they were supposed to belong to, it was basically 1 and 1 from each one! 

and yeah, I’m hoping to keep making progress on these this new month! and I’m looking forward to try some other stuff as well!

some more ramblings under the line here

-----------------------------------------------

I recently finished some notebooks I was working on since the beginning of this year, and I’m hoping to be able to sell them on Facebook maybe? I don’t intend to make too much with them since, they’re still far from very professional looking notebooks 😅, but I’m also wanting to invest on more supplies, and I’m taking notes as well to keep learning how to make these better!

I certainly learned a lot during the process of making these XD, I made a lot of mistakes as well lol 

Also, here you can see the 2 designs I did, I did another one but the printer ran out of ink and I couldn’t use it lol, (another thing I gotta invest in the future is inks or maybe a new printer lol) and you can see here my Cinch machine! 

honestly I’m super tired, I finished these today and I had to store all materials and such again... and ugh... I seriously NEED a shelf to put all these machines and supplies, every time I’m going to use them I gotta take them all out of boxes and they are all under more boxes...gotta put them on boxes again and put everything again in order next to my bed..it also doesn’t look all too nice in there, so I’m going to start seriously looking for shelves next month 😆 

Other thing I wanted to ramble about, I recently got into Inkblot!  it’s a new art site, it has like around 1 year I think?, it’s still in development but so far it’s been pretty alright, Here’s my site so far:

I’ve been wanting to use it to put all my commission art, I’ve finally catch up to last year’s work, so I can start posting this year work! I also want to put my other works here, kinda using it as a general gallery like the one I had with Deviant art.

There’s still so much I haven’t put here, but slowly filling with art! still doesn’t feel as my old DA’s gallery and sometimes the site loads pretty slowly, but I want to give it a chance since it’s still pretty new, I look forward to see how it evolves. the community part at least seems pretty chill so far! 

also has this very cool feature, where you can make comparisons!! it has a sort of thing that you move it and you can see the difference between both pictures. 

I’ll definitely still be using Tumblr for art gallery as well, I already have posted a lot of art here anyways lol, I’ve managed to organize a lot of my art with the tags as well, although I think I’ll also be separating commission art without background and with backgrounds, that way they are all not too mixed up! 

Oh also, I’ve learned about Neocities! recently people were talking about it on Twitter, and seems like a cool option for a personalized website! although may first have to learn more about html coding 😆

Neocities is an open source site, you can own a site here and customize it however you want, but you gotta do it from scratch! it’s honestly pretty cool, I think customization of Tumblr themes is pretty close to this,

but even so, if you check the sites from here just for fun, THEY ARE FANTASTIC! it’s like taking a look at internet in 2008, the customization value is so cool!

I personally find very fun the customization options like this, I may want to give this a try some day 😄

Well I think that’s all, this ramble became a bit too long lol but well, thanks if you read this far! 

Hope you have a great first week of May! 

[catboybiologist]

I'm trans! Here's a way-too-long ramble on my internal thoughts on that!

My other posts on this:

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725852054829023232/im-going-to-document-some-things-about-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725851397783011328/the-short-answer-is-no-but-im-gonna-have-a?source=share

So yay I’m trans! Which like, is neither unexpected nor abnormal for the community I’ve fostered here, so I’m guessing most of y’all’s reactions is just a “hey cool”. But, you see the online side of me, not the irl side, so there’s still a lot of thoughts to sort out on my end. So I’m dumping a lot of thoughts here to sort all that out. And hoooly shit, it got very long, and I still feel like I have more to say… but yeah. If you wanna hear some perspectives on my relation to gender, transness, and femboy culture, read on!

I guess the best way I can think to style this is as an interview with an imaginary third person, sooo…. Bold text is questions I can imagine people having LOL

So what’s my own personal relationship with the term femboy, catboy, and gendered terminology in general? Is the name of your accounts gonna change?

Short answer, no. I like the name CatboyBiologist. “Catboy” itself is a term that is completely untethered from gender at this point to me. Tbqh, the “cat” part feels more wrong than the boy part- as time goes on, I’ve generally ditched the cat ears for most of my outfits as I take them a bit more seriously. Maybe that’ll change when my transition actually starts, but for now, CatboyBiologist stays, and the femboy related language stays in all of my own past posts (keyword, past- more on that in a bit).

I’m not gonna be updating my approach to pronouns. Any pronouns do just fine, I’m sending a vibe into the world and pronouns are my feedback as to what other people interpret that vibe is. Default to they/them if you don’t know what to do with that.

I will be updating my pinned post to link all of these posts, but mostly copy/paste the information from before. That might take a moment cuz I’m lazy, tbh.

And let’s get something else out of the way.

I’m not socially transitioning yet, and probably won’t for a while.

Which, I think leads to a lot of follow up:

Well, why not?

I present fully male and masculine on a day to day basis, and look the part too. Part of it is just this looks insecurity. The mask stays on in my pictures for a reason. Beyond just facial hair (which grows aggressively on me and always shows some shadow), my face looks pretty masculine overall. It takes time to look the way I do in my posts. I wanna give my face and body some time to change so I can look more femme in more casual ways before I present it to the world.

Beyond that, I’m also just worried about being “accepted” as femme straight off the bat. Implicitly, I know this will be easier if I already have some small amounts of physical feminization down my belt.

There’s two main environments that worry me: family, and professionally. Family is a weird hot mess grey area that is too personal to talk about here, but the professional atmosphere is certainly going to be a bit… weird. I live in an accepting geographic region, and around people who are very outspokenly trans supportive…. But most of whom are cishet and simply don’t have a lot of experience seeing or working around trans people. I’m more afraid of being seen as “trans first, biologist second” as far as my career is concerned, than I am about outright transphobia. I know this will never fully go away, and given that I’m 6’2”, I’ll probably never “fully” pass- but I’d at least like people to implicitly read my as femme on a gut level before I start changing how I present that way. One thing my irl femboy experience has shown me is that, even if people can “clock” you intellectually, the way their gut instinct reads you affects whether they treat you as masc or femme. I hope that makes sense on some level. Of course its always going to be an awkward shift, but I hope some time on HRT will make it less awkward.

I’ve come out to one person that doesn’t know about this online persona, or the depths of my queerness. They straight up told me they were shocked. They were incredibly supportive, but they told me they didn’t see it coming at all. And they already knew that I “crossdressed occasionally”. So that’s kinda what I’m working with here.

Essentially, I’m not actually truly “transitioning” in a real sense yet. More than that, I feel like I’m getting the ball rolling. If there’s anything I learned in my research, it’s that HRT takes a while, much longer than anyone expects (suppressing my rant about how the media cherrypicks people in early transition for trans representation and the effect that has on public perception). Two years is often cited as the “end” point, but based on both scientific and anecdotal accounts, that is wildly untrue and variable. I also know that the first changes onset quickly (skin and mood, most notably), but that overall body shape changes sometimes take a VERY long time to start and progress. So to be quite honest, I barely feel like I’m transitioning yet, I’m just laying groundwork for the future.

So yeah. I’m gonna be boymoding for a bit. Possibly a year or more. Even for the people who know, I’ve still asked them to address me as he/him or they/them, and use my masculine name for now (haven’t even really decided on a femme name yet, although I have ideas [open to suggestions as well]).

Wait, so why address it online at all?

Put simply, honesty. I’m displaying a lot of selfies and experimentation with my look here, and I want to make it abundantly clear what I’m doing to have an effect on that. People have asked me if I’m on HRT in comments before, and like, I’m not gonna lie about that. Might as well also make a shitpost, a data gathering post, and a too-long ramble about it as well (which you’re reading now!).

There are a LOT of body image issues in femboy spaces (and trans spaces too!), often among very young people. While I have no issue with people on HRT continuing to call themselves a femboy (more on that in a bit), I do think transparency on that matter is helpful for those body image issues.

So to make it abundantly clear: all of my selfies and pictures that I’m labeling and tagging as “femboy” are pre-HRT. In the future, everything I tag with “trans” is post-HRT. I still got 1-2 weeks before actually starting, and I’m still going to use the femboy tag for any outfits I post during that time. The moment an estradiol pill hits my mouth, though, new pics will use trans tags.

Posts that relate to discussion of the interplay of the communities, and how I view myself within them, I’ll tag with both.

Which leads to another follow up question. This one isn’t about me specifically, but it’s my hot take about a certain brand of trans discourse I’ve seen around (mostly on reddit tbh):

Why would someone who knows they’re mtf trans willingly call themselves a femboy and/or request people to “misgender” them?

So this is actually gonna be striking a nerve with me, and I know I’m gonna kinda be strawmanning here by arguing against the ghost of reddit comments past. I’m not gonna try to dig any of them up in the internet archive, but they are sentiments I’ve seen multiple times.

I’ve seen this question almost word for word in the comments of trans subreddits multiple times. Imma be blunt, and it’s maybe gonna sound a little mean. If this thought is going through your head, you’re likely way more sensitive and particular about labels than most people. And that’s okay! Ask people to address you how you want, you deserve that respect! But the real answer to this question is that many people simply don’t mind being called whatever label is most useful or familiar to themselves in various contexts.

The moment that it becomes completely unacceptable is when someone does actually change their pronouns, name, presentation, etc, and people still address them as “male” or “femboy”. That is completely the fuck out of line, and if you don’t agree, fuck off.

Why does this strike a little bit of a nerve with me? Well, the “conclusion” I saw reached in these trans spaces multiple times when the subject was brought up was annoying as hell. That conclusion was that the only or primary reason that people labeled themselves a femboy, even while on HRT… was to sell their onlyfans. My fucking god, seriously? This is just conservative rhetoric. Luckily, on tumblr, it seems that people are a lot more accepting towards people using whatever language they like to describe themselves, which I’ve enjoyed a lot.

I’ve also had a lot of hate towards “fencesitting” directed at me on reddit, from trans people, for calling myself a femboy. I can’t remember it verbatim, but I very distinctly recall getting a DM that went something like “I fucking hate femboys, just transition already. You’re making us (transfemmes) look bad.” So yeah. Bit of a sore spot.

Yadda yadda yadda the personal journey shit

If I can be real for a moment…. In an ideal world, I would still want to be a part time femboy. Even moreso than the sheer utility of it all (eg, enjoy cis male privilege when I want, but still get treated more femme in certain contexts), it feels almost more profound to fuck with gender norms without sitting on one side of the gender line or another. But I can’t really ignore what I’ve described as my “mental resting state”- a baseline crackle of dysphoria that fills the space in my head when there’s nothing else to fill it. It’s easily distracted, but its always there, and I can’t imagine living my life that way anymore.

I’ve pretty much known I was trans since I was about 12, and had a realization that puberty was just starting to hit me, and I hated it. I suppressed it deeply, for many, many reasons that I don’t think I want to share here. But it made a lot of other mental health struggles in my life a lot worse, even if I didn’t consciously acknowledge that’s what was happening. By the time I was willing to consciously acknowledge it, I realized that my dysphoria wasn’t so bad as to dive in right away. But, I made moves to stabilize my life overall, which have been massively beneficial to me in other ways as well.

During the pandemic, I found myself living alone for the first time ever. So during the pandemic, in one last ditch effort to try to convince myself I wasn’t trans, I delved into femboy aesthetics to try and “just be a feminine man”.

That failed.

So yeah, here I am. I have a wonderful queer community both irl and online, a meagre but stable income, health insurance that has great coverage for trans care, and accepting people around me in my life. It’s long overdue. Maybe I’ll beat myself up for waiting so long and masculinizing so much as a result, but I don’t think I really could have done it any other way.

This all said, I don’t actually really consider myself a woman yet. I’m sure many of you are aware of two different ways transfemmes view themselves(and trans people in general, but using a transfemme perspective here):

-Some view themselves as having always been girls or women, but took some time to realize it and make their body more comfortable for themselves with that information.

-Others view themselves as boys or men who made efforts to become women later.

I fall strongly in the second line of thinking for myself. For my own personal experiences, even though I have felt dysphoria for a long time, I don’t really think I’m “actually” a woman yet. I don’t know what my identity as a woman looks like yet. But I deeply want to discover and create who that person is, and there’s no way to do that without transitioning.

B but… BASIC BIOLOGY!!!!!

How many biology degrees do you have? I got a BS and an MS, and I’m working on my PhD. I’m sure you’ve brought a similar level of expertise to this discussion.

But seriously, I could genuinely write an entire fucking essay about how studying biology has influenced my views on this subject, but honestly, that’s an entirely different topic. But tl;dr is that bioessentialism is brainrot, and if someone tries to use essentialist language to “justify” someone’s transness (or gender in general)… well, I think they’re wrong. Plain and simple. We don’t say someone isn’t “really able to see” if they put glasses in front of their eyes.

I’m stopping myself before I write more here, because this warrants another post or even a fucking video essay, to be quite honest. But yeah. Biology based.

Conclusion?

Uhhhh… in conclusion, I’m not particular about language or pronouns you use for me, I’m making posts about it anyways to ensure honesty associated with my selfies, if you’re transphobic jump of the tallest bridge you can find. I think that about covers it.