#because how do you pick up from the shit rian left?????????

[ragnarssons]

so, i'm rewatching star wars, like marathoning through it...... and i gotta say............. i hate tlj more and more every time i watch this saga. and i finally put ideas around why i hate it. it's just so clear that rian johnson didn't want to make this movie. he wanted to make a star wars movie, suuuure, a star wars movie of the likes of the acolyte verse in terms of exploration of lore, expansion of possibilities, new nuances to the story, etc. but not star wars, as in the skywalker saga, as in, the middle piece of a new trilogy. there are interesting concepts explored in the movie, interesting ideas being arisen, interesting questions being asked. buuuuuuut, it takes episode 7 and goes "welp let's erase all of that!" and throws it in the trash, thus successfully destroying the new trilogy before it even had a chance to stand on its own. beyond that, and even more unnerving, it takes the entirety of the skywalker saga, ep1 through 6 and goes "welp let's erase all of that!" and more, "i can do better". NO YOU CAN'T! you just can't. because rian johnson never understood the point of the star wars story. it's just so obvious! i still 100% believe luke would never turn the way he does on episode 8. like, sure, it could've happened, a what if, a parallel universe where he gives up on vader or whatever, but this luke??? luke from the return of the sith? luke from the books? luke from the comics? luke from just anything star wars that has been created??? no. never. no. jamais. non! it doesn't even have anything to do with the force or being a jedi or whatever, it's also about leia, about han, luke would never abandon them, luke would never give up when it comes to them. i'm not saying luke wouldn't make mistakes with ben, or whatever. i'm talking about who luke is at his core, about the values of family, loyalty, faith, he's always uphold during ALL the other movies or medias in which he appeared. in this context, tlj luke just doesn't make sense. it's a luke. it's not the luke. he's an interesting concept, of a jedi abandoning the ways of the jedi, questioning them, etc etc. but it doesn't suit luke. for starters, because luke never upheld the jedi beliefs 100%, far from it. and even the characters from the new saga aren't themselves! leia isn't herself (for the little she's used). then you have iconic characters like 3po, chewie, r2 that are completely sidelined: even that, is against everything this saga has stood for. these characters are part of the team, the family, you can't build a story by sidelining them completely. all chewie does is sit by the falcon and try and eat these stupid furry pets: a reminder, HIS BEST FRIEND JUST DIED! he's right next to luke, whom he's fought wars with, loves, and is loyal to. do we even have an interraction between luke and chewie????????? 🙃 finn literally spends the entirety of ep7 learning to belong, and then he wants to leave again?????? poe is... just, not poe. like, no. there's just nothing to say about these characters cuz they're just not the characters set up in episode 7, and how do you do that? how do you take on the mantle of the middle piece of A TRILOGY and just decide to shit on what came before????? and just leave no room for whatever could come next????????????? but oh noooo, rian johnson is too busy making stylish, pompish bullshit about the force and rey-not-rey-because-ooc doing weird shit and force exploration and pretty battle on a planet that makes stylish shots, let's just ignore how he treats the characters, i meaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. 😐 anyway, I (STILL) HATE TLJ.

[concussed-to-pieces]

Late July Part Two

Fandom: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Pairing: Agent Whiskey [Jack Daniels]/Reader

Rating: Holy shit kinda' tame.

AN: Guess who was a fool and thought that they could leave Late July the way it was?! Me. Spoilers for Kingsman: The Golden Circle abound in this chapter, so proceed only if you don't care about the movie being spoiled for you! I'll see you guys on Wednesday. Enjoy!

Tag List: @huliabitch @wrestlingfae @cookiethewriter @culturalrebel @jackierey09 @crookedmoonsaultpunk @duker42 @agirllovespasta @nelba @pedrosbigdorkenergy @lestrange2703 @youmeanmybrain @luvley-shadow @theocatkov @miscellaneousjunkk @reluctantlyresponsibleadult @buttons-beads-lace @gooddaykate @lackofhonor @talesfromtheguild @absurdthirst @mostly-megan @pancakepike @88dragon06 @chibi-liz05 @iellaren-uodo-rian @heatherbel @ripleyafterdark @oloreaa @thesoftdumbass @okilover02 @renegademustelid

Alright, I think I got everyone! There will be one more part on Wednesday, so if you would like to be tagged please let me know!

Part One

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This chapter contains attempted purposeful triggering, frank discussion of character death, memory loss, regression and vivid flashbacks/allusions to post-trauma. Stay safe!]

He came back around slowly, still tasting the stale beer of last night's party like an unwanted echo in his mouth. But instead of waking up on the kitchen floor of his shared apartment, he was in a blindingly white room that looked suspiciously like an alien spacecraft. Jack's mind raced. Shit, maybe my roommate wasn't being a total spaz when he talked about getting probed, the young man realized with an undercurrent of fear. 

Incomprehensible beakers of things lined the walls of the room. Alright, maybe he should have paid more attention in his chemistry classes, but he could hardly be blamed for assuming that none of it would have practical uses!

Jack rattled his hands in the cuffs that secured him to the table, clearing his throat. Man, his head ached. This was why he needed to remember to drink a glass of water before passing out!

"S'cuse me? Uh, hello?" He called hesitantly. "Look, if the guys from Theta Alpha Phi put you up to this-"

A beautiful older woman rounded the corner into the room, observing him over her glasses. "Welcome back." Her voice was steel, and Jack worried his lower lip nervously. "Wasn't sure if you were going to make it for a little while."

The restraints around his wrists and ankles abruptly retracted into the table, leaving Jack to awkwardly stumble forward onto the floor. He quickly regained his footing, reaching up to seize the lapels on his usually-open shirt and finding instead that he was wearing some sort of...ski suit? Jumpsuit? Top Gun, I can dig it. 

God, she really was a good-looking woman. Ah, what the hell. Nothing ventured...

"Hello gorgeous. I'm Jack, what's your name?" He didn't give her any time to answer before he carried on with a disarming grin, "How would you like to ride home on a real cowboy?" Jack ran a hand through his usually-unruly hair and found it...weirdly tame. "I've got a six pack on ice and my roomie is out for the night so you can scream my name as loud as you need to, sugar!" He continued, ambling forward. The cheesy, blatant approach usually worked well for him. Sixty/forty split, or thereabouts.

She kept retreating as he advanced, and then she reached into her pocket. Jack braced himself for the rebuff, confused when she pulled out a Polaroid instead. "I hate to do this to you, Jack." She sounded like she meant it. There was Blue-Tack on the back of the Polaroid and handwriting that some portion of his brain vaguely recognized as his own, but he didn't get the chance to read it before she was showing him the faded image.

It took him a moment to realize that it was a picture of one of the girls he had dated in high school, but it looked like she had grown into a legitimately stunning woman. She was smiling fondly at whoever was taking the picture, and the entire image radiated playful energy. Jack cocked his head, a buzz of foreign sadness churning briefly in his chest before he raised his eyes to meet the...scientist's? Teacher's? "Where'd you get this picture? I ain't seen her in years! Shee-it, she got beautiful." The young man drawled. "I have been thinkin' about visitin' my folks again. Maybe I'll go 'round to her place too for some catchin' up."

The woman seemed startled, her sculpted brows raising and then dropping as she studied him intently. "You...don't remember...?"

"I remember her, yeah, we dated for a while in high school." Jack insisted. "Broke up senior year because I was leavin' for college, y'know how it is."

"This is your wife, Jack. Or she was, rather." 

His head throbbed, left temple lighting up with sudden agony. "Oh, shit." Jack grunted, holding the side of his head and grazing a bandage that he hadn't realized was there. "Damn, I must have hit my head real good when those pricks from Theta Alpha shoved me down the stairs. Hangover probably ain't helpin'." He grinned ruefully at her. "Guess you must be the one who patched me up. I ain't never asked out a doctor before, but there's a first time for everythin'. Can I pay you back with dinner?"

The woman appeared perturbed. "Jack. This is your wife." She repeated, waving the picture in his face. 

"I'm real sorry ma'am, but I ain't the marryin' sort." Jack replied bluntly, "I would definitely remember if someone like her was still my girlfriend. Or uh, had become my wife."

"What do you remember happening, Jack? Before…" she gestured vaguely. "This?"

Jack chewed on his lower lip in thought, tilting his head back to stare up at the featureless ceiling. "Uh, I remember…well, before they pushed me down the stairs, them TAP boys crashed my roommate's party…"

…

"'Pressions, I need you down here in the reconstruction laboratory." Ginger Ale's voice issued abruptly through your earpiece and you sat up a little straighter at your desk. 

"What's happened?" You asked softly, rising from your seat and making your way to the door. What with a majority of the population currently locked up in stacks of cages, enough to fill football arenas to their brim, you weren't doing much in the 'managing first impressions' area. Since you had fewer and fewer responsibilities, Ginger Ale had begun to lean upon you a bit more, especially as all able-bodied agents were deployed into the field to search for an antidote. With Tequila being incapacitated, it had made the assignment personal to many agents. 

It had been fascinating to find out that Statesman was technically an offshoot from the now utterly-decimated Kingsman agency. When the two surviving members of their group had shown up to the Statesman headquarters, it had caused quite the stir. 

"I need a favor." Ginger said, sounding tired. 

"Anything." You agreed before she could elaborate further, picking your way through the gravel in the courtyard as you headed to the warehouse where the massive casks of Statesman Reserve were stored to age. Once inside, your heels clicked loudly in the stillness of the temperature-controlled storehouse and you were certain that Ginger Ale could tell your location just from the noise alone. "I'll be with you in a moment."

"Don't promise me that until you know what I need."

Your brow furrowed. "Uh...okay." 

Once you had made your way through the somewhat labyrinthine halls of the Statesman underground facility, you found Ginger Ale waiting for you directly outside the sick bay. She was rubbing her temples. 

"Oh no, that's not a good sign." You quipped as you approached.

She looked up and her face bore an expression of long suffering. "You don't have to say yes to this, okay?" 

"Ginger, talk to me. What's up?" You asked worriedly, taking her arm and leading her off to the side of the doorway.

"'Pressions, Whiskey may not be...one hundred percent." She said carefully. "He didn't snap back into 'Whiskey mode' even though the nanites-"

"Wait, what happened to Whiskey?" You interrupted in concern, your heart hammering a foreign, panicky tattoo on your ribcage. "He was with the Galahads, I thought?"

"He got caught by a sniper." Ginger Ale grimaced. "Clean shot to the head."

"Jesus, no." You gasped. "I'm assuming one of the Galahads used his alpha gel?"

"Yes, and the nanites did their job perfectly. So he's stable, and conscious. Better than that, I would hazard, considering that he took a bullet to the head and he's walking and talking. The issue is that he's not really...Whiskey. At the point he's regressed to, he thinks he's still a dropout living with his college roommate." Ginger Ale pulled a picture out of an inner pocket. "It used to be that we could just trigger him to resume where he left off using the memory of his wife and unborn son, but it doesn't appear to be working this time."

You stared at her, mainly because of how casually she stated the fact that they triggered their agents back to 'normal' with traumatic memories, but also because you had a sneaking suspicion that you might be the reason why the aforementioned trigger no longer held the same weight for the field agent. 

You told yourself you would refuse to feel guilty about it. Whiskey had asked for your help and you had obliged. It was as simple as that.

"Now, I know your family has that rental cabin, and I also know that it's fairly secluded. If the Statesman organization could possibly, uh...commission the cabin and persuade you to take some paid leave until Jack is...himself again, or at least until the drug issue is sorted and we can devote more time and research to this situation, I…" Ginger Ale trailed off as Jack's head popped out around the doorway.

You were treated to a blatant once-over stare that seemed to last for a lifetime, his dark eyes studying you intently. "Have I...met you before?" Jack asked you, the hesitance in his tone making you briefly hopeful before he continued, "yeah, last night, in my dreams I think?"

You couldn't help your groan and eye-roll, laughing in spite of yourself. "Ugh, and how often does that line work for you?" You teased. 

"So far, never." Jack admitted. "But I've always held true to the belief that the sexiest thing a fella' can wear is confidence." He continued with a grin, "That and a high-quality hat." He glanced down the hallway. "So, is it just you two lovely ladies on this alien spacecraft, or what?" 

"Alien…?" You raised an eyebrow. "Okay Ginger, I'm convinced. I'll get the paperwork ready. But if you need anything-"

"I know. I'm glad that I can rely on you." She interrupted you gratefully, looking relieved. 

"You gals got any Midrin on you? My head is killin' me." Jack grimaced, palming over the gauze square attached to his temple even as he shamelessly watched you walk past him to the lab's computer.

"Midrin was discontinued almost ten years ago." You replied absently while you punched in your login and searched for the proper documents to send to the nearby printer. Commission for resources...ah! There you are.

"What, really?" Jack gawked at you. "Hell, I should probably tell my roommate to chuck his then, it must be way outta' date."

"Somehow, I doubt that will be a problem."

…

Jack balked a little when you stated that you would be driving, but he quieted down once you implied that the world may look a bit different than he recalled and that he didn't have a choice in the matter.

"He's not the first one to get put back a little wrong. The process isn't perfect," Ginger had told you. Of course you knew about Galahad senior, the Kingsman agent who had been shot in the head and returned merely wishing to study butterflies. "But I'll send you informational packets that he can sift through. Hopefully something will jog his memory."

Just riding up in the cask elevator had Jack worryingly pale, though getting him outside into the fresh air and sunshine appeared to perk him right back up. He was obviously doing his best to roll with the punches. You thanked whatever gods were listening that Champ had given you permission to take Whiskey's Bronco. Despite the technological advancements of your own personal vehicle that made it miles more convenient to use (you kissed your Bluetooth phone sync goodbye with a woeful sigh), the last thing you wanted was to cause Jack even more distress. Whiskey was mercifully a classic, no frills, no fuss man when it came to his preferred vehicle, even for being a secret agent.

You grabbed your go-bag out of the trunk of your car and walked over to the Bronco in the lot, barely holding back a laugh at Jack's obvious approval of the vehicle. He was running his fingers reverently along the tiny red pinstripe on the exterior, back and forth.

"If I get enough money for one of these beauts someday, God, it will be a sight." He mused, sounding wistful. "Have to get a better job first, though." He continued, as if reciting an oft-repeated mantra. 

"Ginger said you dropped out. What courses were you taking?" You asked curiously. Jack had never been very forthcoming with information about his past, so you seized the opportunity to glean a little insight into the normally tight-lipped agent.

"My parents want me to be a doctor." Jack answered you with a shrug. "I dropped out last semester. Still ain't sure how I'm gonna' break it to 'em." He bounded up into the passenger seat, drumming his fingers nervously on the edge of the door. "Can I ask for somethin' to eat? I'm fuckin' famished." He admitted, changing the subject.

"Yeah, what do you feel like?" You paused, wondering if visiting the establishment near your cabin would assist his memory. "Sandwiches? Pizza?"

"She drives a manual and she eats real food? Be still my goddamn heart!" Jack proclaimed dramatically.

"Easy now cowboy, flattery will get you everywhere!" You laughed.

He grinned back at you, but the smile soon faded. You noticed him studying himself in the side mirror, running a finger down his jaw and grimacing. "God, there's a lot more mileage on this face than I remember." He muttered, prodding the skin of his right temple to smooth out the pronounced crow's feet around his eye. As if working on muscle memory, he reached down without looking and popped open the glovebox to grab his sunglasses. He paused, like he noticed what he had done, then shrugged and slipped the glasses on. "How do I look, ma'am?" 

"Perfect."

What with the drug situation ravaging the world right now, the normally-bustling joint you favored was downright sleepy. Aside from the muted television over the counter, the only sign of life was the lone waitress who ushered the two of you in to sit at the counter. 

"I can turn that up if you'd like." She offered, nodding at the TV. "I just leave it silent when I'm alone because all the reports...well, they can grate on your nerves, y'know?"

"Nah, leave it off." You shook your head. "I'm full up on hearing about the topic at hand." 

"'Topic at hand'?" Jack repeated, looking confused. He had taken his hat off and placed it on the countertop, his fingers back to worrying the bandage on his head. 

You nudged him with your elbow. "Hey, cool it. You'll undo all of Ginger's hard work." You chided, and he jerked his hand away with an embarrassed chuckle. 

"Whups, sorry." He looked up at the menu, and then asked the waitress, "Ma'am can I get a cup of coffee and a hot brown with chicken? I'm downright famished." His smile seemed more genuine, somehow. You realized after a moment that it actually reached his eyes, warming them even further. You weren't sure if you had ever seen him smile like that. Maybe he had forgotten how.

You began to explain in an undertone after the waitress had bustled off to the kitchen, "so there's this...problem going on in the world right now. Big drug problem." 

"Yeah, no shit." Jack scoffed, taking a sip of the black coffee she had poured him. "Nixon started that shit, and Reagan's been on that shit for years. You ain't tellin' me nothin' I don't know."

"N...No, no no, this is different." You grimaced, leaning in a little closer. "I'm talking like, there was one person behind the whole thing and now a large chunk of the population is infected with a virus that will kill them because they used illegal drugs."

Jack stared at you, his coffee cup forgotten in midair between the counter and his mouth. "You...what, hell, all drugs?" He asked incredulously. "Weed? Coke? LSD? 'Shrooms? Everythin'?"

"Everything unregulated, yes." 

"I...God." The mug met the counter with a thump and Jack put his head in his hands. "Fuck, you're serious about this, ain't you?"

This was a far cry from the boardroom Whiskey who had insisted that Champ "couldn't make this personal" after it had been revealed that Tequila was infected. But then, people changed over time. Things happened. You imagined a secret agent would grow into a fair amount of detachment through their career, if only for the sake of their sanity.

"So what's gonna' happen to them? Is anyone doin' anythin' to help? Or is everyone just sittin' on their damn hands again, watchin' shit happen?" Jack growled. 

"Well, our friends are doing their best. I'm confident that they'll be able to pull off their mission." Even without the senior Statesman agent at their side, you added mentally. Jack stayed in his hunched-over position for several minutes after his food arrived and you finally nudged his elbow. "Hey, sour puss. C'mon, we only made this pit stop because you were hungry."

"I'm sorry, my head is...I'm havin' some trouble." He mumbled faintly, and you noticed that he had gone pale again. "Headache."

You felt a touch of remorse. Maybe it had been overly optimistic of you to assume that he might recall more clearly in this location that he had only visited once. "To go it is." You decided for him, tugging out your wallet. "Once we get up to the cabin, we'll settle in for however long. It'll be fine."

…

There was no power. 

You cycled back through the last month's bills in your head. You had definitely paid the electricity. You huffed out an annoyed breath. "There must be a tree down somewhere." You said aloud. 

Jack was already making a beeline for the table in the kitchen, the takeaway container quickly splayed open so he could dig into his food with newfound zeal. "So, what do we need to do?" He asked around his first mouthful. He hadn't even bothered to sit down.

"Well first, I'll call Ginger." You sighed, already dialing the reconnaissance specialist. "After that, I'll check the stove, the fridge--"

"What happened?" Ginger answered before it even had the chance to ring, her voice sharp.

"No no, nothing's wrong. Just the power is out. With everything being the way it is, it'll probably be down for a few days." You heard the rapid clicking of a keyboard. "Whoa hey, don't move stuff around, Ginger. We can survive just fine without power for a day or two." You assured her. It always made you feel guilty whenever Statesman resources were used on someone as inconsequential as yourself. 

"Are...are you sure? I really should be working on getting more information from the drones in Cambodia-"

"Absolutely, you have way bigger fish to fry. We can wait our turn on the outage route." You interjected firmly. "I'll use the car charger for my phone, so if you need anything you can still get in touch."

…

Jack did his best to tune out your conversation with the woman from the lab, the young man scanning the inside of the cabin as he ate. 

It was small, though not cramped. Behind him was the common room, separated from the deck by sliding glass doors. The ceiling overhead was simple untreated beams, interspersed with skylights that left sunny squares on the warm wood floors. 

There was a hallway to his left that he assumed must lead to at least one bedroom and the bathroom, but he wasn't particularly interested in snooping down that direction.

His gaze landed on the wood stove that was tucked into the lone river-rock corner upon a sturdy pedestal of bricks, eyes tracing the stovepipe up to where it pierced the wall to the outdoors. Jack left the table and meandered to the stove, turning the handle and popping the door open after a brief struggle. It was still full of old ash from the last use and he grumbled under his breath, grabbing the shovel and bucket from their cobwebbed resting place against the wall so he could give the stove a proper seeing-to.

You would think people had never heard of a damn chimney fire, the young man griped to himself, eventually standing with the half-full bucket and making his way outside. "Hey!" He called to get your attention, "where's your trash?" 

You waved a hand off in the direction of a waist-high wooden crate that no doubt housed the waste receptacles, out at the end of the rutted drive. On his way by, Jack slowed briefly to a halt to watch you talk into your...God, is that really what cellular phones looked like? 

You shot him an absent smile when you seemed to notice that he had paused and the young man felt his stomach lurch, what the hell? This all seemed so familiar, like he had done it before. 

His head hurt.

Waking up in a body that was damn near twenty years older, retrograde amnesia was what the...what Ginger Ale had called it. Jack scoffed to himself. The hell kind of name is Ginger Ale? Then, he winced. Jack Daniels, meet kettle.

So what had happened in between? Something must have happened to him. Ginger had implied that he and that girl he had dated in high school got married, which was...not something he had ever thought about having on his radar, if he was honest.

Unless…

A weird, uneasy suspicion began to take root in his chest. There was one scenario where he believed he would ask a woman to marry him, if only because it was the goddamn proper thing to do. 

Oh God, he felt sick to his stomach again. Something, a memory, was lurking just out of the light and he couldn't shake the burgeoning sensation of dread. It was as if his brain was playing tug-of-war, both pushing him towards the realization and dragging him away from it in equal measure.

Jack shook his head and dug his fingers in beneath the heavy wooden lid that shielded the waste containers from the elements (and snooping animals), shoving it up so he could empty the bucket into the ash can. Later, he promised himself, we'll tackle that shit later.

...

Jack appeared to be deep in thought as he carried on the task of emptying out the wood stove, so you simply left him to it as you did a quick check of everything else in the cabin. It looked like the power hadn't been out for too long, as the small fridge hadn't defrosted just yet, so you made a note to head down the road and pick up some ice at the amenities store. You kept an 'emergency' cooler under the counter for such an occasion as this. 

This cabin and the surrounding ones didn't lose power very often, but what with all the old trees around it tended to be inevitable once the winds got strong. Your parents had instilled the knowledge in you of how to properly maintain the property, and you were immensely grateful that no problem had cropped up yet that you hadn't been able to straighten out by yourself. 

Most of the vacation cabins that littered the nearby woodlands had been booked up for the summer, due to the prolific population of affluent wealthy who enjoyed them as an 'isolated retreat from civilization'. You were hard-pressed to think of an 'isolated retreat' that included a convenience store within literal walking distance of one's residence, but any port in a storm. 

Jack was oddly silent for nearly the entire walk down the road to the tiny store, his thumbs hooked through his belt loops as his fingers idly patted out an off-tempo rhythm on his thighs. "Penny for your thoughts?" You broke the quiet with your question, trying for a genial tone.

"I dunno', really. I've got a lot of 'em. How many pennies we talkin'?" He replied, his smile strained. "I just feel like I'm missin' somethin'...big. Obvious. And I...dunno' if I'll be happy about figurin' out what it is, y'know? Like there's somethin' in the back of my head, hollerin' at me, but I can't make out the damn words and I don't--I ain't sure if I really want to." Jack stared off ahead, his eyes shaded by the brim of his hat. "I've already been a fuck-up for most of my life, y'know. I can't imagine what bullshit I pulled later." 

This uncertain man was a far cry from the usual cocksure attitude you had come to expect from Whiskey. In a way, you weren't exactly surprised that his attitude may have been mainly bravado. Or it might just be that he had played the part for so long he started to believe it. You reached out carefully and he met you halfway, almost absentminded, instinct kicking in before his brain as he wrapped his hand around your wrist. 

It took a moment before Jack's fingers twitched, and then his shoulders went stiff. Just like Whiskey, you found yourself thinking. "Uh, sorry, I-" he began to awkwardly apologize. 

"It's okay." You murmured, rubbing your thumb over the back of his hand. "If you're okay, this is okay." 

"...okay." Jack's voice was barely a whisper, the man smiling gratefully and giving your hand a gentle squeeze. 

...

It was a beautiful night. 

Due to the lack of power in your cabin and the ones around it, the stars were clearly visible. You had brought the battery-powered radio out with you onto the deck, soft crackling static and faint music the backdrop to your after-dinner conversation. 

Jack was more at peace than he could recall feeling recently, the man content to watch your expressions in the light of the lone citronella candle that you had lit on the table. 

At ease, well-fed and comfortable, it was almost malicious how fast his mind began to twist everything for him. Jack Daniels, college dropout. Nothing to show for it at all. He'd crashed and burned so damn fast, there hadn't been time. And now, all of this, finding out that the world had gone to shit--

In the middle of his ruminations, something dragged him back to the present. A familiar song, jarring him out of his self-deprecating reverie. "You fill up my senses…"

His head aching again, Jack got a fleeting recollection of a kitchen in a tiny apartment. Faded, dingy gray subway tiles on the backsplash, yellow curtains framing the window over the sink, her yelling at him, "I hate it when we fight, Jack," eyes snapping with fury but resigned and no, no, something is wrong-

"What's wrong?"

It took him a minute to realize that it was you asking him aloud, not his brain screaming at him. Jack grimaced, pressing his fingers to the bandage. "This song, I...I know it."

"I mean, it's John Denver." You said in a deadpan tone. "The guy oozes questionable sweater choices, denim and radio-friendly vibes. I'd be more surprised if you didn't know it."

"When she and I...we had moved in together. And this…it was playin' while we were arguin'." Jack's head was pounding. The kitchen had always felt too small, though it was the perfect size for her. They fought. About little things, and then bigger things. His gambling, her drinking. What a couple. Jack shoved his chair back from the table on an impulse, getting to his feet. "C'mere." He ordered, extending a hand to you

You raised an eyebrow, looking up at him. "Why?"

"Dammit woman, just-" Jack tangled his fingers with yours, giving your arm a light tug. "C'mere." He pleaded.

You obliged begrudgingly, obviously comfortable in your current position and unwilling to move. But once you were upright you didn't seem to have any reservations about him swaying you back and forth in time to the music, your head on his chest like it belonged there and your hands tucked into the sleeves of your large sweatshirt. 

"...like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean…" the song carried on, sweet and calm. Jack rested his chin on the top of your head, closing his eyes and just letting the faded memories wash over him.

"...I can't do this shit anymore." He had whispered into her hair, his voice hoarse. "All we goddamn do is fight and neither of us change and I'm fuckin' sick of this shit." He had continued to rock the both of them to and fro in that tiny kitchen, as if to soothe her. 

"Oh, you think I'm not sick? I've been sick!" She threw it right back at him hotly, her fists clenched on his chest like she wanted to beat the piss out of him. He probably deserved it. "Jack, you're the one who needs to change! You're the one who's the father of my fucking baby, why don't you start goddamn acting like it!"

Jack's eyes flew open. Baby? He scoured his mind frantically, every memory he turned up so frustratingly piecemeal! 

Baby, a baby, son? Blue crib, blue walls, my son? Married, needed to get married, can't have a baby without getting married, her parents hate me, my parents are already disappointed, have to elope--

And then everything ground to a halt. It was like his memory hit a wall, leaving him confused and almost raw with uncertainty. He needed more, damn it! He exhaled raggedly, making you look up at him in concern.

"Jack? Are you okay?" Your query was so quiet, like you didn't want to disturb him.. 

"I just...my uh, my joints are complainin'. Guess I let myself sit for too long." He fibbed, smiling down at you in an attempt to distract you from his obvious turmoil. "Thanks for the dance," Jack hesitated, an unfamiliar pet name lingering on the tip of his tongue, "cherry pie."

...

Jack meandered to lean with his arms crossed on the porch railing, his head tipped back to look up at the sky for a time. "Have I...been here before?" He asked out of the blue. "I feel like...it's weird to ask, but I feel like you and I have...I feel like I've been here before. With you." He finally managed to get the words out.

"Well, yes." You admitted. "You came to me because you needed help."

"And did you?" Jack cocked his head to the side. 

"Did I what?"

"Help."

You hesitated to answer him, mulling it over. Because in the moment, it seemed like you had. Whiskey had left your care an obviously happier man, but…

If the memory of his pregnant wife, the memory of losing her had been established as his failsafe, it was downright irresponsible of him to have removed that trigger without instating a new one first. Ginger Ale hadn't known, and now Statesman was down their senior field agent in the middle of an incredibly dangerous and tenuous maneuver. The health and safety of countless people hung in the balance and technically, technically (by your reasoning, anyway), it was your fault that Statesman was unable to put their best foot forward in this endeavor.

But…

"I think so." You said softly. "You hung onto something from your past that hurt you, Jack. Something that weighed your body down. I guess you finally got tired of carrying it with you."

Jack's smile was slow, but it lit up his face yet again in the way that Whiskey's never had. "Well good, then! I'm glad you helped me out." He shook his head ruefully. "I just feel like I've been here before. This point in time. It's like...like I'm gettin' the chance to do somethin' over, but I don't know what the hell it is. I'm scared, feel like I'm gonna' fuck somethin' up on accident." He admitted quietly. "It was here, wasn't it? Where you helped me?"

"Yes. This cabin is a safe environment for anyone that needs it."

"I can tell. It's...peaceful." He drawled, one boot hooked over the other as he shifted his weight against the railing. A hand wandered to your arm, his warm palm rubbing your shoulder absently. "I just hope that I can...do whatever it is folks need me to do." Jack murmured. 

His hand stayed on your arm for a good long while, the two of you silently looking at the stars.

"Hey, uh," Jack spoke up suddenly, "your...helpin', I…"

You glanced over at him, the stark white bandage on his temple serving as a stern reminder that this was not Whiskey, but simply Jack Daniels. The man, not the senior agent. A college dropout in a dead-end situation. 

"Do you help even if a person don't need helpin'?" He asked pointedly, an eyebrow hitched upwards as he observed you.

You opened your mouth, uncertain of what you would even say, but you were suddenly blinded by the motion sensor light blazing to life overhead. Jack pulled you into his body defensively, once again seeming to act on muscle memory. You watched through squinted eyes as he reached down for weapons that he didn't have, his hand flying to his hip. "Hey, don't worry." You mumbled against his chest. "The power just came back on, that's all."

"Jesus fuck that shit is bright!" Jack squawked, his voice pitched high. "Thought I was gettin' abducted by aliens again!"

"Again?" You couldn't help your laughter at how ridiculous he sounded. The man began to laugh along with you after a moment, his expression sheepish in the brilliant Illumination.

"Yeah, yeah, get your kicks." He growled good-naturedly, rumpling your hair. "You're lucky you're cute."

You grabbed hold of his hand, tugging him to follow you back inside. "C'mon, let's make sure nothing got overloaded." You urged. 

Even when he could have let go of your hand, you noticed he continued to hang on.

Part Three

[tirednotflirting]

darling, you're the one i want

hi i wrote merrikat. based on paper rings. it’s pretty cute i’m pretty happy w it. esp bc it’s the first thing i’ve managed to start and complete in uhhhh over a month : ) sooooo yeah

here it is on ao3 if that’s more ur jam

Jack didn’t know love could feel like this. So loud and quiet all at the same time. So careful and turbulent and everything in between. He considers how something like that can be as he takes a sip from the wine he had found waiting for him on the kitchen island (accompanied by a sticky note with Zack’s messy handwriting telling him for you :) sorry about the long day xx). He lets his head rest against his palm as he leans against the counter, a small tired smile pulling across his cheeks as he catches the cologne on the sleeve of the hoodie he’d found waiting for him on the bed after changing into something comfier. (Another sticky note with a lopsided smiley face had been sitting on top of the soft, worn hoodie.)

There had been a third sticky note (this one with just a heart drawn in the center of it) on the box of takeout waiting for Jack in the fridge after he had come downstairs from the office after a long afternoon of livestream interviews with Alex. He always felt a lot of something in the direction of guilt when there was work to be done on his visits out to see Zack despite the teasing remarks he would receive reminding him that we are literally coworkers, Jack.

But now it doesn’t matter because the day is done. Any kind of negative feeling Jack had felt prior to coming down to the kitchen dissipated the second he saw the glass of wine and Zack’s patient face looking down at whatever book he had picked up to read next. From Jack’s spot at the island he can see his boy settled into the couch on the back deck that sits just in front of the big window in the kitchen.

Another paradox from the seemingly endless list of them comes to mind then as he watches the sun slip toward the horizon, the sky a swirling mix of oranges and pinks. He feels like he’s loved the man sitting on the other side of the window for both 20 minutes and 20 years and again, he wonders how that can be.

He’d loved Zack since they were teenagers and yet the relationship they had now had somehow still snuck up on them both. Drunken cuddles at parties turned into sober cuddles before soundcheck. Giggling kisses against cheeks while they ran around on stage in the middle of a show turned into Jack in Zack’s lap while making out on the tour bus couch. (Jack laughs to himself at the memory of Alex rolling his eyes while Rian was cracking up as he accepted a $20 bill after they’d wandered into the back lounge that night. Jack and Zack had only blinked in confusion at each other as they heard Alex grumbling that you guys just had to figure your shit out on a Tuesday, huh? as he went off in the direction of his bunk.)

It wasn’t how Jack was used to a relationship happening. It had felt so easy. He didn’t know it could be this easy. When he tried questioning it early on, Alex had only laughed. You’re best friends, what did you expect? Nothing ever felt complicated with Zack. Jack found himself thinking it was something he could get used to, something he wanted to get used to.

Three years in and they’re something in the realm of settled down despite the nature of their career never really leaving them in one place for too long. It had been Zack’s idea for them to spend the couple of weeks off on this tour at his place before catching a flight back to LA for more rehearsals. Time felt like it moved slower on the island (though if Jack’s being honest, anywhere moves slower than LA) and it was something he was thankful for. Every moment with Zack was something to be savored.

He picks up his glass and heads in the direction of the back door. After shutting the door behind him, he turns back to see Zack marking his place in his book with a receipt before dropping it against the coffee table sitting in front of him. Jack takes the spot beside him and smiles into the kiss he’s pulled into before settling against the cushions. With his free hand, he traces along the tattoos around Zack’s shoulder in the fading sunlight. “How was your afternoon?” Jack asks, finally breaking the comfortable silence, as his fingers trail down Zack’s arm to tangle their fingers together.

Zack smiles down at their joined hands before lifting them to press his lips against Jack’s knuckles. “Productive,” he hums with a smile. “Rearranged some stuff in the garage, went to the store. Found this plant while I was there that looked like it needed some love. I’ll show you in the morning, the flowers are a pretty color.”

Jack smiles brightly. Regardless of how long he comes out to visit, they settle so quickly into domesticity. It’s overwhelming, he thinks, but not in a way that scares him. It’s always felt easy to fall into a routine with Zack.

“Looking forward to it.”

Zack asks him about his day and Jack recalls on the afternoon of answering the same four questions over and over again for different radio stations all across the country and the way he basically had Alex’s answers to them memorized by the end of the day. He tells him about the story one of the interviewers told them about their first All Time Low show (Zack had thrown them a pick in 2010 and they apparently still had it inside a box of concert memories from over the years) and the cat that had wandered into the frame on one of the calls.

Eventually they settle back into another comfortable, lazy quiet. Their joined hands sit against Zack’s thigh, his thumb tracing circles in Jack’s palm, as they watch the sun take its time saying its daily goodbye to the world. A light breeze picks up, just enough to keep them cool. Jack takes a deep breath and despite the fact that his entire adult life has been spent quite literally living out his wildest dreams every damn day, if he was asked to stay stuck in one moment forever, it would be this one.

“I wish everyday could end like this,” Jack sighs as his head falls to rest against Zack’s shoulder after taking another sip from his glass. “This is really nice.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I would mind if forever had this view,” Zack answers. Jack assumes he’s referring to the last bit of sunset playing out before them over the mountains but then he feels a pair of lips press against his hair and he looks up to meet Zack’s tired eyes looking down fondly.

“Forever is a big word, mister,” Jack jokes with a blush, his eyes blinking up at Zack’s. Though he hopes it doesn’t come out as though he’s disagreeing.

“You’re right,” Zack laughs while tossing an arm around Jack’s shoulders to pull him closer to his side. His eyes pull away from Jack’s to look back out at the sky and they’re both silent, their breathing and the buzz of the approaching dusk becoming their evening soundtrack.

Jack lets his eyes fall shut, the calmness surrounding them making him sleepier than he felt before coming out to join his boy. He’s seconds away from the short sleep that Zack will allow him before dragging them both back inside to watch one of those documentaries they’ve been watching after dinner for the last few weeks.

“Marry me?”

Jack’s eyes shoot open as he turns his head up to face Zack whose eyes are still trained on the pink-purple sky rapidly shifting to a dark blue. “What?”

He shifts to sit up and Zack turns to face him then while the last bit of light adds a sparkle to his eyes. He smiles lazily as he lifts a hand to cup Jack’s cheek. Jack barely notices the way he instinctively leans into his gentle touch. “I want every sunset with you,” Zack whispers into the space between them. “I want every sunrise with you, even if it’s just you whining over how early it is.” Jack softly laughs as his mind briefly drifts to thoughts of clingy, early mornings before speeding back to the present.

“I want forever with you. Longer than forever, really. But I’m not sure that’s real.”

Jack laughs again while his vision blurs and lets Zack wipe away the single tear he feels starting to fall down his cheek. “Who cares if it’s real? That was so fucking romantic, you sap.”

“Are you going to give me an answer or do I have to wait until I get a ring for that?”

“Zack, babe, you could propose with one of your sticky notes and I’d say yes every damn time. Of course I’ll marry you.”

Zack pulls him in by the waist to press their lips together. As his eyes flutter shut, Jack feels another tear roll down cheek and when he pulls away several moments later, he can’t help but laugh at the watery eyes looking back at him as well.

“That could be arranged, though,” Zack says suddenly before quickly leaning across to kiss Jack’s forehead before pushing up from the couch and slipping inside. Jack is left with a confused smile pulling at his lips as he’s not entirely sure what Zack could mean by that.

Only a couple minutes pass before Zack returns, a folded sticky note and a roll of tape in his hands. He takes his spot back on the couch and looks up to meet Jack’s eyes, his blush just barely visible in the twilight.

“Okay, give me your hand,” Zack instructs. Jack starts catching on then what he’s doing and laughs as he lifts his left hand up in between them. Zack’s bottom lip gets caught between his teeth as he delicately wraps the bright pink paper around Jack’s ring finger and secures the loop with a small piece of tape.

“There,” Zack smiles, admiring his work before looking up to meet Jack’s eyes. “Perfect.”

“You really are,” Jack mumbles as he gently shakes his head at the man in front of him.

Zack laughs, the blush still painting his cheeks as he rolls his eyes. “Okay, Mr Cheesy. This will work until we can get you something shiny.”

“I don’t need shiny, Zack. I promise.” Jack replies.

“If we show up back in Baltimore to celebrate with everyone about this and you have a sticky note wrapped around your finger, both of our mothers and Alex will kill me,” Zack counters.

“Alright, you’re probably right,” Jack shrugs. “But just for the record, this is fucking adorable regardless.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Zack smiles as he moves to link their fingers together again before standing. “Should we go Facetime the boys and the fam to tell them?”

“Of course,” Jack nods as he lets himself get led back into the house. “Do you think they bet on this too?”

“Oh, I’m sure they did,” Zack replies as he reaches for Jack’s glass and a second one from the shelf for himself before opening the fridge to find the bottle of wine. “I’m sure Alex is going to lose again, too. Rian is too good at this kind of thing. Let me go grab my phone.”

Jack takes a seat at the counter and watches Zack jog up the stairs. He smiles down at the paper wrapped around his finger and sighs. His mind wanders around what forever will look like, what it’ll feel like with a big party and vows and an added weight on his left hand. As Zack reenters the room, the brightest smile pulling at his lips as Jack hears a shy voice excitedly stumbling through an introduction to their best friends followed by so we have some news, all he can think about is how he can’t wait to get used to this too.

*

[randomeditscreates]

The Force Awakens Breakdown

So I know no one gives a shit about my opinions on movies and my last post about the sequel trilogy [ST] But honestly I want to continue talking about these crap movies. So now that we got that through, lets start.

1) Jar Jar Abrams start this movie by basically ripping off the concept of the OT [Original Trilogy] The First Order [The empire] has taken over with a dark side user [Kylo Ren in this one, and Darth Vader in the OT] with a more powerful dark side user in the background pulling all the strings [Snoke and Creamy Sheeve respectfully] With an opposing side that happening to be small in numbers, [The Rebels and The Resistance(What they're resisting, no fucking clue, but it sounds nice)]

2) Rey Palpatine (I refuse to use the other name) is the protagonist of this story, and just so happens to live in a desert planet, you know like Luke. And happens to be the most laziest character Jar Jar and Kathleen Kennedy ever created. She's kind, and friendly and her only flaw is that she doesn't have any family. She's a scavenger, yet has so much proficient in the force, you would think she's been training for decades. She has great skill in flying ships and fixing them, that you would think, it would at least be a throwaway line. But nope, she has no reasoning for knowing how to fly or fix ships and the only reasoning we really have is that, Jar Jar wanted it, so he put it in. And throughout this movie and following ones, she picks up skills like their pokemon cards because fuck hard work. Now Rey pisses me off, not just because of her lazy character, but because during all the movies, nothing ever fucking happens to her, she doesn't get hurt to an extreme degree like Finn, She doesn't go through a huge revelation, all that happens is that Rey loses Han (someone she barely knows) then she magically beat Kylo,( who if you don't remember has years even decades over Rey in training) and then decides to find Luke. And that leads to the third problem...

3) The movie is too full. for being a movie that is 2 hours and 16 minutes, yes I fucking looked it up, this movie seems to drag on and not develop any of their concepts. Because while I fucking agree that Rian Johnson left fucking nothing for Jar Jar to work with, at least his story had some character development, and yes it dumb and breaks the world but I'll take what I can get. All the main characters in this movie all ends up the same as they start off with. Rey is a happy and kind character with no past, turns to Rey is a happy and kind character with no past and force abilities. Kylo Ren is tangled up Christmas lights drenched in yogurt and acid, and turns into a tangled up Christmas lights drenched in yogurt and acid, who ends up Killing his father. But if you remember is haunted by that death by TLJ [The Last Jedi] Poe Dameron is a self assured Spit-fired Pilot and ends up a Spit-fired self assured Pilot who's Not dead. Even the characters who do get develop, Finn and, oh my god, it's only Finn, get's completely rewritten in TLJ and gets the story arc redone just terribly. We can't even talk about Han, Leia or even Maz, because Han doesn't change and then dies, Leia doesn't get enough screen time to show anything about this character, and Maz is supposed to Yoda in a yellow and female clothing, and they do shit with that too because it leads to this..

4) Maz Kanata and holy fuck, she's literally the reason Han is dead. Maz yells very loudly to the entire cantina that Han Solo is here, which leads for the First Order to be notified. She somehow has Luke's lightsaber [It doesn't get explained, not even in the later movies] and somehow Rey is drawn to it, and leads to Maz giving advice, but you know the shitty type because it ends with Rey running away in the forest for her to get caught by Kylo. She tells Finn that he shouldn't leave, and that it turns makes him severely injured. And if you don't remember she does the same to Han, and he ends up dead. And her cantina gets fucking destroyed after being their for centuries, yet she couldn't give a fuck. and it shows the true issue, Jar Jar and Kathleen Kennedy in extent doesn't give a fuck about characters and just wants to to get from point A to point B with a lot of flashing lights.

5) Han Solo: Character Assassination. A character who developed into a man who was ready to risk it all for the rebellion. A character we loved in the OT is now broken down into his New Hope person all over again. Who apparently has scammed everyone in the galaxy? Um, Jar Jar, I know it might seem strange to you, but a smuggler needs people who trust him to get jobs and therefore receive income. But I guess I shouldn't expect much from the same man that think a Smuggler would want to be easily known or recognized. Also Leia and him are either broken up or divorced and that makes me feel really happy to know a couple that I loved are no longer together and one of this dead. Because Han Solo is just there for fan service and to shoot his gun, because that's what he's here for to go pew pew. Oh and to die, that what all the OT fans wanted, One of the main three characters killed by their own child.

6) Subtle doesn't exist in this movie, everything is given the delicacy of a hammer. We find out that Kylo or Ben, (I really don't fucking give a shit) is the son of Han solo, by Snoke just saying, the droid is in the possession of your father Han Solo, like no shit I assumed that when you mentioned the Millennium Falcon. Who would you think I thought Kylo was the son of, Chewbacca? Finn's story arc is the only one that makes you think, and brings a new aspect to the movies, and to the Stormtroopers. I just fucking wish we could do the same for the others Stormtroopers, because the other are killed with no regards that most of them, as Finn states were sold into this at a young age. Good job Resistance for killing all these people who was forced into this with no regards. How does a series that came like a decade before you (Star Wars: The Clones War Series) manage to develop the concepts that stormtroopers or clones are not mindless drones better than you. (The Rookie episode in the first season helps flesh out all the clones and they only have 25 minutes per episode, get you're shit together Lucas Films) And these are only the examples I could think of, off the top of my head.

7) Rey is a great example of Sexism, but instead it goes the other way around then usual. All the male characters are laughed at and or ridiculed, but all the females are perfect and don't need to change. One of the last scene is a great example of this, Kylo Ren, the one with years of training and two powerful masters who trained him, gets beat by Rey, someone who has no skill with a lightsaber and didn't even know she could use the force until Jar Jar decided to pull it out his ass. Even Finn who has at least close quarters fighting skills under his belt couldn't beat Kylo, and has to be saved by Rey. Now I will admit to being a feminist but Kathleen version completely differs from mine. Because while I believe both men and women are both capable of reaching the same level of skill, Kathleen think women should be able to do incredible things without working for it. And it clear by her stupid "The Force is female" Like shut the fuck up, the force was never given a gender, why the fuck are you doing it now? I also found out that most of the Crew in Lucas Film, happens to be female. and it's clear who's doing that. Again I am a feminist but I hate when people just have diversity for the sake of diversity instead of the person's capabilities. It's very vindictive of the Feminist movement, The Black Lives Movement and LGBT+ agenda as well, as we're trying to make people see them as just like everyone else which they fucking are (I will not stand for any form of bigotry and if you don't like something simply because of someone's race, gender or sexuality, you are shit human being) , they just so happen to not be a straight white man. And that they have the same struggles as everyone else. Also we already had strong female characters in the series without the big emphasis on the fact that they have a vagina. As from the basis, Star Wars was never about gender and because of this we got fully developed character we could relate to.

Now Dishonorable Mentions

A) This movie is fucking 2 hours and 16 minutes long, yet it feel so unfinished

B) Jar Jar Abrams deep seated love for mystery boxes and how it get more screen time then the actual Character it involves (Rey)

C) The movie could've been great, they're was definitely potential but it was dwarfed by mystery boxes and Visuals

D) Rey is not a Mary Sue in this Movie, she becomes one by the end of TLJ but she's not yet. So I guess it one positive.

E) Jar Jar inability for world Building, and doesn't even fucking tries to explain how the First Order even began to rise.

F) Poe Fucking Dameron, and the amount of time that is dedicated to him. I love him but come on, just make it someone like Han, as it could bring up the relationship between him and his son, which could then bring more emphasis when we reveal their relationship. But no lets bring up a character who we all assume is dead until about the end. And then does absolutely fucking nothing.

G) And Lastly when we see Han die, we don't get a scene of any of the characters we give a fuck about and who knows Han mourn his death, instead we just have two characters who had about 15 minutes of screen time with Han, and Chewbacca. And it doesn't get better because Rian Johnson decides in the second movie that we don't need a scene of Luke mourning over the man who fought side by side with him and is his Sister's husband. No Instead we get a scene of him drinking tit milk.

So that's it, well for now, I'll make another post for this if I have any more issues. But that it for now. I would also like to make it damn clear now, as I'll probably continue this, that me tearing apart a movie is based soley on the technical aspects of it. And that if you enjoyed this movie, you are entitled to it, but you cannot defend this movie's writing , because as I hoped I made clear, the writing is very much shit.

[solitaszn]

those donuts i like?

Pairing: Oscar Isaac x Reader

Summary: Oscar is having a bad day on set, so you go and bring some treats to make his day better!

wc: 1.39k

warnings: cursing, lots of fluff :)

You were still on the phone with Oscar and he would not stop complaining about what happened on set.

“And then they have the audacity to make my character a spice runner this is so fucking stupid how could I- no. how could they, be okay with this?!” you heard clattering of what you would’ve thought to be water bottle. You hated when the producers made him angry, but it was rare if you saw it.

“I don’t know babe. I really wish they could see you the way I do. More than just a stereotype, hell, you’re one of the best actors out there right now, and not just because of some Star Wars bullshit, you’re gonna let it effect your career. You’ve played so many other roles even better than this one! The fact that they made your character into that is a shame to Star Wars and the producers,” You ranted. 

“I know I can always count on you to reassure me, I love you.” You could almost hear him smile. “Hey what are you doing, it sounds like you’re in the car.”

“I am dummy, I’m gonna pick some stuff up,” you laughed. 

“Stuff? What stuff?” He asked. 

“I thought bringing some treats to you on set would be nice, you deserve it after all.” 

“Hermosa, you don’t have to do that, really.” He said admiringly 

“Oh really mr. Isaac? So you don’t want those donuts you always get?” 

“Babe! Those donuts I like? You know that I love those, how close are you?” His face glittering with glee, like a little kid getting the present he wanted for Christmas 

“I fucking knew it Oscar!” You said which earned you a huge shit eating grin on your face.

“Im gonna run into the parking lot right now, hold on.” You heard him set his phone on the table. of course he was gonna wear that huge robe those directors tell them to wear so that they don’t ‘spoil anything’, as if he hadn’t already told you everything.

“Ok I’m pulling in!” You set the car in park and waited for him patiently and put the box of neatly made donuts onto the passenger seat. You heard him running over the phone, breath heavy in the speaker. “wow he really wants these donuts” you thought as you pressed the end call button.

From the corner of your eye you saw a small figure with a giant black robe slowly inching its way closer to you. He finally gets up to the passenger side and opens the door. His eyes go directly to the box, “oh man! Ive been waiting for you!” And he jumps into the seat and flipping over the lid, the glazed sugar and sweet dough scent filling the car.

“Oh, hi y/n! Thanks for bringing these!” you teased using your hand to imitate him, “oh Oscar you’re oh so welcome!” You replied to yourself.

“Sorry I literally haven’t eaten anything since I got on set, and these trainers don’t fuck around when It comes to junk food, so thank you, really. I love you.” Fully extending the you as he leaned over and peppered kisses on your cheek, earning a giggle from you.

“Well maybe your friends want some too I mean, look,” you extended a pointed finger as you saw both Daisy and John, both dressed in the same black robes as Oscar, come running towards you full sprint as well, but daisy gaining on John by a meter.

“Holy shit! RUN JOHN! DAISY’S GONNA TAKE THEM ALL!” He yelled from the rolled window. You turned to unlock the door for daisy as she threw herself in the backseat, and John joining not long after.

“Ha! I told you was faster!” she teased at John. “Isn’t that right guys!”

“She’s right bud, she had you by a few feet back there.” Oscar admitted and you agreed.

“Aw man! Y/n did you at least grab one I liked? I was in the dressing room with Oscar when he had his little tornado after he was told about his shitty character development, which I admit is really bad, poe deserves better,” he said

“Yes I did John, a strawberry glazed with rainbow sprinkles, and an apple fritter for daisy” you picked up the box off of Oscar’s lap and opened it in front of them, allowing them to choose the donuts. 

“Thank you so much, you have no idea how much we appreciate you sneaking us into your car and feeding us junk” daisy said through a mouthful as if you were a rebel spy. 

“Anytime daisy” you replied

“Oh damn! JJ’s calling me!” John cursed out. “Hello? No I uh, went for a walk! No I’m not eating! A running scene? Ah fuck. Ok, ok, yep I’ll be right there.” He set his phone down. “Look, thank you so much for the donuts, but jj want’s me on set and he gets super prissy if I’m not there, but thanks anyway!”

“No problem John, just call me next time and tell me what you want me to bring next time!” You told him as he climbed out of the car.

“Yeah! Maybe you can bring some wings, oh man I could really go for those!” He professed

“Noted, see ya around!” you added as he waved goodbye.

You turned around to see daisy on the phone as well. “Really Adam? Again? I thought you said that was the last take. Well ok…bye” she sighed. “Sorry y/n, I guess I gotta go too, apparently the last take we got has a hiccup in it, so I gotta shoot it again. I hope we can hang out later! She said defeated. 

“Aw sorry about that dais, of course we can hang out later!” You chirped. Which made a smile creep back onto her face. She got wrapped her arms around you from the backseat and attempted to give you a hug. 

“Thank you so much again!” She said as she took the last bite and walked around the front of the car back to set. She waved to both you and Oscar as her figure became smaller and disappeared as she turned the corner. 

You looked back at Oscar and saw him staring at you and smiling. “Why are you looking at me like that?” A blush slowly creeping up your face. 

“I love you” he leaned into you and gave you a long passionate kiss. “I appreciate you so much, and the fact that you think of my friends too makes me so happy.”

“Of course” you smiled back

“What do you say we ditch this place and go home?” He asked slyly.

“Not with that costume you’re not, go change real quick, i’ll drive you to your trailer.”

“Fine, i’ll be be less than five.”

You started the car and took him around the block to the small metal trailer next to studio lot 4. He jumped out of the car and hopped onto the stairs leading to the door, closing it behind him. You scrolled on your phone for a while before he came back in the sweatpants and t shirt he left in. Before you could start the car you saw jj and Rian turn the corner of the lot. Panic sweeping over the both of you. 

“Y/n! Start the car!” Oscar cried. And you turned over the car and unlocked the door, as he flew in almost landing on the cupholders.

“Hey! You! Oscar! You can’t leave!” One of them yelled.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” You hissed as you reversed back out of the lot. You finally switched back to drive and drove away. 

Oscar was opening the sunroof of the car and stuck himself out of it while yelling, “that’s for Poe! You Sith Lords!” He screamed while laughing loudly. You could see them both scolding Oscar from a distance.

You pulled Oscar down from the sunroof by his shirt and laughed. “That is literally the last time I pull a stunt like that Isaac. I could’ve gotten into serious trouble.”

He kissed you on the cheek as you kept driving, only slightly pushing him. “Thank you from saving me from the first order!”

“Oscar, JJ and Rian are not the First Order!” You giggled.

“They might as well be!” he exclaimed as he smiled.

[him-e]

Sorry if you’ve answered or written something like this before but Tumblr search is bringing up nothing for me, but why do you think RoS was so crummy after TFA and TLJ were both good? RoS isn’t even a good popcorn movie and makes huge basic mistakes in editing and writing, it’s not just the character or theme stuff that’s bad. How did the same company that made TFA and TLJ make RoS?

A few reasons I can think of:

Time worked against it. It was rushed. The final movie of a saga so big needed more than a couple years of production. 

No blueprint behind its writing. No preplanned plot, no predetermined theme or narrative to focus on to make the actual writing smoother and easier, other than a generic “make the audience happy” and “do what the OT did but more spectacularly”. (Rian Johnson also allegedly didn’t have to follow any preestablished plot points, but second chapter movies are usually less eager to please than final chapter ones, there’s much less pressure involved, and they can get away with a lot of thing, including being “cruel” to the protagonists, which is usually a good thing for the story)

The director was fired and replaced halfway through the project. Very little of what Trevorrow originally planned for this movie was kept. This means that a) The final TROS script was even more rushed than it would have been under normal circumstances; b) there was a lot of meddling on Disney’s part in the writing---we thought this was because they cared for the quality of the final product, but no such thing had happened with either TFA or TLJ; c) just like trying to overwrite a failed drawing rarely ends in anything successful, having to work on the basis of a former failed attempt is not a good place to start.

The wrong people were involved. People who never gave a shit about what SW is trying to say behind the superficial blockbuster quality of it, nor did any effort to do any research at all or focus on a specific non-plot related theme or message. Chris Terrio in place of good old Lawrence Kasdan, and...

JJ Abrams. I though bringing back the director that started the trilogy in the first place was a good move. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t. Given the (irresponsible) lack of a preestablished plan, this trilogy should have been given to either one single director or three different ones. Either you’re gonna trust one single director to bring forward a single narratively and stylistically homogeneous vision, or you’re letting each director expand freely on the former movie’s set up towards original directions. They did that with Johnson, then bailed and reverted to JJ’s vision (with JJ, predictably, trying to pick up from where he left rather than where Rian left), which makes TLJ stick out like a sore thumb while TROS feels like a stale rehash with none of the freshness and wide-eyed excitement that comes with starting something from scratch that TFA had.

also, JJ Abrams notoriously sucks at endings.

the worst crime however was caving in to the whims of the most toxic part of the fanbase and trying to course-correct the route taken by TLJ by catering, again, to the average white american dude who “grew up with Star Wars”, which they erroneously thought was the demographic to bank on financially and the one that would *set the tone* of the overall audience response. In doing so, they almost surgically avoided any sort of subtext, message or original thought to make the blandest possible movie, with the blandest and most derivative take on themes like redemption, legacy and heroism.

[gundamgamer]

The Last of Us Part II: "There Was This Sequel... Wasn't As Good."

After seven years of what felt like forever, The Last of Us Part II has finally arrived on PS4. And…well, after the leaks were released in late April of this year, it has left the fanbase, and the Gaming Community polarizing, to say the least. Some cancelled their pre-orders, others gave the game the benefit of the doubt, and see for themselves, and then there were those who had no choice because they were getting paid to play and review the game…Only to have mixed feelings of the story. But what do I personally think of the game, overall? Well, after playing through it for a week, and processing the entirety of the main story, I don’t think it’s “the WORST thing ever”…But it’s definitely not masterpiece worthy. Let’s begin with the simple, NON-SPOILER aspects of the game:

 GAMEPLAY:

At first, I thought there was a lot of changes made with the gameplay, since the first game. I wouldn’t say the Combat Mechanics, in TLOU1 were perfect by any means. But, for a 2013 game, they were pretty solid. Though there are times where things can get glitchy and finicky, the controls felt fine…In THIS entry, however, it just feels the same. There’s little to no changes with the controls and, at times, they felt stiff to the point where I would freeze in the middle of picking items up or performing a “T pose” while getting shot at by nearby enemies (Yes, this actually happened to me during my playthrough). Granted, I do like that they gave players the Aim Assist feature, seen in the Uncharted games, which can SOMETIMES make combat a little easier, but that’s not saying much when you’re trying to aim at enemies that have the advantage. And I do feel like the jumping action was pointless, since all you had to do was run off an edge and hope to God you made it to the other side of wherever you were jumping to. Since most of the actions require you to press the Triangle (△) button, this action felt needless. The weaponry has somewhat improved, since the last game, with some familiar returns (such as the Flamethrower and Shotgun) and newer weapons (Semi-Auto Rifle, Hunting Pistol and Crossbow), the variety, on how you choose to kill your enemies, is literally at your fingertips. Finally, there’s a neat guitar mechanic where you use the pad on your DUALSHOCK 4 controller to strum the chords and play tunes on a guitar. A small but neat feature. GAMEPLAY: 3.5

 VISUALS & MUSIC:

There’s no doubt the Visuals have vastly improved since the first game; from the far horizons of Jackson to the deep overgrown forests in the Seattle area, the environments and locations look phenomenal…For the most part. Some areas, however, look so bland that they all look the same just for the purpose of Gameplay. Now, I know that sounds absurd, but hear me out: Using the same environment, for the purpose of Gameplay Mechanics is FINE. However, you need to use a different variety of location designs and settings. Otherwise, the gameplay will feel repetitive at best, and lazy at worst. But I digress. Overall, the Visuals are gorgeous to look at, especially in different season settings. Of course, it wouldn’t be a Last of Us game without the Music. Composer Gustavo Santaolalla returns to give the game life with his score, which (and I know it’s gonna sound crazy) isn’t as memorable as the first game, but is still remarkable to say the least. I also do like that they made him a character, in the game.

VISUALS: 4

MUSIC: 4

AND NOW, WE COME TO THE MEAT OF THIS REVIEW: THE SPOILERS! SO, IF YOU HAVE YET TO PLAY THE GAME, I SUGGEST YOU STOP READING, FROM HERE ON OUT…YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

I’d also like to point out that NO, I have absolutely NO PROBLEM with LGBT+ representation in any form of media (Gaming, TV, Film etc), as there is a character, Lev, who’s LGBT+, and that is FINE. But…it’s the story that needs to get a beating in all of this. Let’s begin:

 So, let’s talk about the Story, because I have a feeling that a good number of us will agree with me when I say…IT’S ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT!! …I really have no idea where to begin.

This game’s writing is all over the place, and it’s backwards at best and atrocious at worst. Everything from feeling sympathy for the main antagonist, Abby; because it’s revealed that Joel murdered her dad while he was about to operate on Ellie at the climax of the first game (as if we were suppose to know that), to PLAYING AS ABBY FOR A GOOD TEN PLUS HOURS, A CHARACTER THAT HAD SHITTY DEVELOPMENT TO THE POINT THAT NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT HER OR ANYONE ELSE AROUND HER! Not to mention that, between Ellie and Abby, you play through flashbacks in flashbacks. This is not creative writing, this is fan fiction bullshit, and it fails FAST. Seriously, I wanted Abby’s playthrough to be done because I did not give a shit about her and wanted to go back to playing as Ellie. Can’t also forget how little to no point these characters serve in the story, from Abby’s side or Ellie’s, they all range from forgettable to needless, in the end. Aside from Dina and her ex-boyfriend, Jesse (yea, he’s pretty forgettable too, but at least he gets shot later on, by Abby), these characters serve little to no purpose to the story besides Story Progression that COULD’VE been done better. But nothing, AND I DO MEAN NOTHING, can compare to the atrocity that is the ending of this game:

Ellie finds out where Abby is heading, months after the what happened in Seattle. I’ll also mention that, for a bit you’re playing as Abby again, however it’s…somewhat forgivable as it’s only for a short period of time. Afterwards, you’re playing as Ellie throughout the Climax of the game. You come across a group of Rattlers who hunt down and take prisoner to lost travelers, when you [as Ellie] learn where Abby is kept prisoner. Once you find her, and her friend Lev (who TL;DR, identifies as a boy, but was born a girl, and his mother wanted to marry a guy but he refused so her mother went nuts and he killed her…yay?), she follows them to some nearby boats. But Ellie isn’t done with Abby yet. As the two fight it out, Ellie finally has her in the water and makes her drown. But then, for a LITERAL SECOND, she has a flashback of Joel sitting on his porch with his guitar…and feels guilt…So much so, that she lets Abby, the one person who she; wanted revenge on, set out on a mission that killed multiple people, even someone who nobody really gave a shit about (Jesse), risks just about everything to get to this point…And for what? A moral epiphany…Oh god…Ellie then returns home for Dina and their child JJ, only to find that they’re not home. She learns that they both left Ellie, for Dina could not take the chance of losing her. And so, with her ring and pinky finger, on her left hand, bitten off by Abby, she tries to play guitar and has yet another flashback with Joel. This seems to be the last time they encounter each other before he gets axed. It, for the most part, is a nice little moment between the two, as they discuss some issues that need to be resolved. But mostly that Ellie wants to forgive Joel because he lied to her about what happened in the hospital. Afterwards, she sets out on what could be an unforeseeable future…

As you can see, the story isn’t necessarily the greatest…In fact, it doesn’t even come close to the first game’s story (which by the way, won Best Storytelling and GAME OF THE YEAR. Yea, let that sink in). The reason why the first game was so successful is because it focused on the development and bond between Joel and Ellie. How they grew as characters and learned to endure and survive in a chaotic, post-apocalyptic world setting. And we, the fans, WANTED to see that again in this game. But instead, got bamboozled by false advertising. Oh yea, that scene in the trailer where Joel pulls Ellie back and asks “You think I’d let you do this on your own?” NEVER. FUCKING. HAPPENS!! Instead, it’s Jesse in that position. Seriously? WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT THIS GUY?! NOBODY, THAT’S WHO!! We don’t care about any of these characters. We just wanna see the ones we cared about grow and learn more from each other. We actually wanted to see if anything changed from these two, over the years. The closest we get to ANY of that, in this game, are the flashbacks with them; from the museum setting (which makes some not-so-subtle nods to Jurassic Park and its sequel, The Lost World: Jurassic Park), to the only good scene in this ENTIRE game, in my opinion: Ellie heading out to the hospital, from the first game, finding out Joel lied but having Joel confess and tell the truth…That was such a powerful scene, and the acting from both Troy Baker and Ashley Johnson was superb. It shows the emotion between the two, from guilt to betrayal, how both Ellie and Joel lost so many people within their lives, only to go their separate ways after a crucial and impactful reveal…But none of that matters to Neil Druckmann and the crew at Naughty Dog. They just wanted to push ideas that nobody really cares about, especially for a game that’s set in a post-apocalyptic setting. We play games to escape reality and venture into worlds that could NEVER be real for the sake of entertainment and fantastic storytelling. These types of media are slowly fading away, and being replaced by writers who really don’t even give little to no shit about constructive writing, internal consistency, and above all else, THE FANS!! (even if they claim to do so…Looking at YOU, Rian Johnson)

In the midst of it all, the reason I didn’t cancel my pre-order was that I was one of the few that gave this game the benefit of the doubt. Despite only vaguely knowing what those leaks had and how they could’ve affected me, I still played it through beginning to end…Only to be disappointed by an entry I – and MILLIONS more -- had waited seven years for, only for Druckmann to say “You see this? THIS ISN’T WHAT YOU WANTED! THIS IS MY STORY!! AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, YOU’RE A BIGOT!!”…However, to be fair, I’ll say this: don’t take my word for it. Maybe there CAN be something to your liking, in this game. Maybe there’s a little something for everyone…just don’t expect me to play through – scratch that – suffer through this mediocre attempt of a sequel ever again. There are ways this game COULD’VE been as fantastic – if not, MORE – than its predecessor. I might have to do that in another essay, sometime. Til then, this the last of my playthrough of this gigantic disappointment.

STORY: 1.5

CHARACTERS: 2.5

THE LAST OF US PART II: 3.5/10

[legobiwan]

Just got home from The Rise of Skywalker. No pithy intro, I’m just going to jump right in and it’s going to be a LONG rant here so buckle up, my friends, and be sure to read below the cut. SPOILERS AHOY YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Okay, so yes, the first third of the movie went at a blistering, nearly nonsensical pace. JJ  really had to cram a whole watermelon’s worth of exposition into a...well, you know, there was a lot to take in. This movie had to do so much telling instead of showing because it was such a departure (and middle finger to TLJ) from what came before. 

The thing was, the first third was also the most interesting part of the movie. I actually wish the whole trilogy had started with all of the Sith nonsense. (Actually, I wish they had started with Kylo absolutely wrecking shit like he did and then the Palpatine scene. People would have made all the wrong assumptions and it would have been glorious to unravel it over three films.) There is a strong history of Sith artifacts in both Nu-Canon and Legends, and it wouldn’t have been out of place, considering what we know now, to have made Rey, Poe, and Finn’s quest for these artifacts the start of the new trilogy, and then told the rest of the story in a non-linear timeline. Probably too experimental for a Star Wars reboot, but it would have grabbed attention and everyone like creepy Sith shit. 

Frankly, I would have dropped zombie-robot Palpatine at the very start of the trilogy, as well. It’s bonkers but I don’t hate the Rey Palpatine thing and they could have spent the rest fo the movies explaining this weird-ass lineage and how it relates to Kylo, Snoke, etc. and then have built back to the final confrontaion on Exegol. 

Leia. Trained. Rey. I so so so so so wished we had been able to get more of this. This, in my mind, is what it should have been all along. I liked TLJ (okay, so shoot me) but Master Leia is a whole other level of awesome. If I had to rewrite Luke and Leia’s roles, it would have went something like this:

Luke was searching for Sith artifacts. Luke was becoming disillusioned by what he was learning of the Jedi through “The Sacred Texts.” WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE? Hmmmm, I wonder....

Could you imagine Luke started to go a little Dooku in this respect, and so instead of fucking off the Ach-To because he had a feeling that was more “gravy than of grave” about Ben Solo’s dark sidedness, he fucked off to Ach-To - or even better - gave up training in order to keep himself from going down a darker path. 

And so instead, Leia is getting involved with training (and probably also governing at the same time because she would be an overachiever like that.)

Enter Ben Solo, who is Force sensitive, strong, being trained by his mother and occasionally his uncle, who is not totally plugged into the light side at the moment, which can rub off on Ben. Meanwhile, Han is maybe not the best father (he wants to be, he tries, but it all comes out wrong. I’ve been watching a lot of Psych lately, so I’m thinking of a dynamic similar to Henry and Shawn, but a little more dramatic.)

Of course, Palpatine is seeing all of this behind the scenes, he’s fostering ill will and discontent through the scattered remains of the Empire, sending Snoke clones out to be almost pseudo-religious/cult figures in the wake of the economic and social devastation left by the Empire’s fall and the floundering new government. Extremism, in pockets, rises. Extremism which preys on discontent, which preys of the desire for family, for belonging. 

Enter again Ben Solo, who has been pitted against the other strongest trainee, Rey (insert whatever last name you want. She knows it’s not her real name, she knows she was an orphan on Jakku, but she was brought by Luke to be trained). Ben is pissed how she and Leia bond, has been talking to his uncle, and perhaps encountered a Snoke clone on the way. 

Rey, on the other hand, is no one but wants to be someone, and that manifests in weird ways during her training. Perhaps she leaves at some point, perhaps not. But the seeds of her being Palpatine’s bloodline are laid within her. She wants to seek that belonging Ben has.

Okay, but getting away from my personal rewrites of the sequels, Star Wars is about family and lineage, both blood and found. There was so much potential to play on this throughout the trilogy with the Skywalkers, with Rey’s relation to Palps that if they had just planned the damn thing, it could have been brilliant. 

Moving ...(for now)

I felt so bad for Oscar Isaac. I felt like I watched his soul slowly depart his body over almost 3 hours. That man was not a happy camper and it came out in his performance. 

Power levels. Here’s the thing, guys. Magic needs to have consequences. Sure, you can cast a spell, but what does that take from you? You can use the Force, but to what degree? How much? Even Anakin exhausted himself at some points, and he was (allegedly, according to one Qui-gon Jinn), the Chosen One. It’s the first law of thermodynamics - energy can neither be created nor destroyed - and the Force is literally the energy of every life thing in the galaxy. You take the energy, use it towards something else, it has to drain from somewhere. This is what bugged the hell out of me with Rey’s Force Healing abilities (an ability that doesn’t thrill me to begin with as it’s so easy to overuse). Kylo keels from resurrecting the dead (and yeah, he was pretty beat up already), but Rey barely seems to breathe a beat harder. Once you start ignoring the consequences for magic, you end up like a shitty video game, and one of the criticisms I’ve leveled at the movie is that it feels like a montage of Battlefront and I can’t say that’s totally off point.

JEDI HUNTERS. Ochi. I will bet my right liver we’re going to hear something about this on The Mandalorian. 

So I know a lot of people wanted to see Rey Kenobi, but there was one piece of glaring evidence in the film why that would never be. (Aside from Kylo just announcing it to Rey.) She has a lightsaber, but she still ends up using a blaster. So uncivilized.

Speaking of The Mandalorian - Stormtroopers with Mando jetpacks. Hmmm.....

I loved techno-Sheev hooked up to all the equipment just floating. That was creepy as hell and played with the whole cloning and extension of life that was such a large part of the Darth Plagueis novel (which I still consider to be canon, higher powers be damned). Also, Palpy’s glowup with the wardrobe was hilarious. 

Dark!Rey was hot. There, I said it.

Let’s talk about romance. Or the lack thereof. Or the shoehorned thereof.

Poor Rose got shafted in this film with no explanation. I didn’t buy that whole thing in TLJ, but god damn anyway. (Finn also got shafted, for different reasons, which I will talk about later.)

If they were going to romance, just let it have been Finn and Poe, Finn and Rey, or fuck it, even a trio. 

I mean, I could have bought Reylo if it had been presented better. (With context. Adam Driver is an amazing actor, another thing I’ll talk about later.)

The Reylo kiss though - my theater laughed. No joke.

Of course, this was the same theater that thought Lando was trying to mack on Jannah at the end, so who knows what we were all thinking in there. (On that note, Lando was hilarious because no matter what, he was just having a grand ‘ol time in the movie. I like to think he got a medical spice card in his retirement years and was just enjoying anything that came his way, be it Wookiees, Jedi, starships, wars, whatever.)

While the Reylo kiss didn’t hit the mark the space lesbian background kiss got cheers, so there was some hope for my fellow theater-goers.

Did anyone pick up on Threepio saying the Senate made the bill that would render him incapable of translating the Sith language? No doubt that was a Palpatine move from TCW era. 

What is up with these movies and desert/jungle planets? Ugh. Thank everyone for Kijimi, at least that was interesting. 

New characters I loved: Babu Frik and DO. 

Finn’s Force sensitivity. Yes, I totally buy it. I wanted more. I wanted more fucking context of a Stormtrooper who would have known nothing of the Jedi getting these feelings and then bailing from the First Order (or, if I were writing the movies, bailing from the remnants of the Empire/Snokes weird military cults.) Totally underutilized character development. 

We. Were. Robbed. of Good!Ben. Adam Driver is so phenomenal. Form the little we saw of redeemed Ben, he is the perfect mix of his parents, from the “Ow” to the eyebrow wagging, the swagger, the smirks...I LOVED good!Ben. I wanted so much more good!Ben. What a transformation.

Speaking of which - the scene between Kylo/Ben and Han was terrific. I wish we had had more context for why everything went south, but it was so good and the type of family dynamic we really needed more of. 

The Knights of Ren looked awesome in this film? They needed to be like the Black Order of Star Wars, and they were getting to it, but not quite there. Gods, they could have been the enforcers of Snoke’s cults (Palpy’s puppet cults) that could terrorize far more than a normal, brainwashed Stormtrooper, who was only useful as cannon fodder (I mean, if we look at the history of the clone army to the Stormtroopers, it would be terribly fitting.)

That ship tug-of-war was DUMB. (See my rant about magic and consequences). But, if Rey was going to shoot lightening Palpy-style and blow up a ship, Chewie should have died. I’m sorry, that’s terrible, I love him, but there needed to be consequences for actions and throughout the film, there were either no consequences or random consequences that were a narrative convenience rather than developed into the plot/characterization/worldbuilding. 

Here’s the thing with the ST - there is so much potential. There are some awesome ideas. But they wanted to play if safe with JJ by rebooting the OT, Rian was too far out for them, there was no cohesive storytelling, and so we get these little glimpses into what could have been amidst a shitstorm of trailers for Battlefront 17. 

we could have had it allll....

Final rating: 4/10

[aughraseye]

Character ask: Deet

@glow-moss Thanks for the ask!!

Why I like them

I pretty much like everything about Deet. From the first moment she comes on screen we get a chance to experience Thra through her. Her character is so in touch with nature, so tuned in to the animal and plant life, as a viewer I always wanted more of her scenes so we could better glimpse this other world.

She’s incredibly caring and her kindness just strengthens her convictions and actions. I like this because in some stories kindness is portrayed as weakness, but AOR is definitely grounded in the ideas of interconnectedness and the bonds of community. Deet is also open minded, smart, and always willing to approach others with good intentions and in good faith.

She is a precious baby. But she’s also not afraid to throw down when the other options have been exhausted. I love her.

Why I don’t

I don’t like that Deet is related to Bobb’n. He’s evil and makes me love Deet less just by virtue of existing.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

I really liked when she and Hup go to Stone in the Wood. It really spoke volumes how wiling she was to see the best in others when presented with so much evidence to the contrary. I also love her little rant when she’s trying to get in to see Maudra Fara. And I LOVE when she busts Hup out of jail. Remember folks, good people break bad laws.

Favorite line

I can’t really pick out any one line from her that I liked above the others. I will say though that she has a tendency to babble and anytime she does it I die.

Favorite outfit

Really liked her Vapra disguise.

Also her blindfold was pretty cool and a nice way for her clothing to communicate part of her story.

OTP

Stonegrot feels inevitable so that? Plus I really don’t ship her with anyone other than Rian.

Brotp

Deet and Hup.

Her friendship with Hup was my favorite of all her relationships. Sorry Rian.

Head Canon

This is less a head canon and more something I don’t see discussed often, but Deet gets away with a lot of crazy shit because she comes off as ‘sweet’ and ‘gentle.’ In reality, she’s actually pretty wild and reckless. We have in-canon evidence of this with her dressing up to go save Hup, making the bombs, harnessing the darkening, etc.

I like to think that this is a trait that long preceded her forays above ground. Maudra Argot probably even encouraged it just for kicks while her fathers struggled to reign in Deet’s predisposition for chaos. While she probably doesn’t see her behavior as anything TOO extreme she’s definitely done stuff that would make Rian and Mira’s antics in the castle look like child’s play.

Unpopular opinion

I do not want Deet and Rian to become a canon couple until someone at least tells her who Mira is. At the end of season 1 Mira was never brought up around Deet, and we’re kind of left to assume that she doesn’t know who Mira is. That bugs me because Mira was literally the catalyst for Rian betraying the skeksis and starting the resistance. She’s a hugely important character plot wise and to Rian so I really feel like Deet needs to at least know her name before she and Rian become official.

A wish

I would really like Deet and Seladon to talk again. The last time went so badly, but was so close to being something great. I’d also like more Brea and Deet scenes and more Hup and Deet scenes.

I’d also love for her to not be a literal vessel for the darkening that’s killing Thra, but you know...can’t always get what we want.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

I’ll literally die if Deet is destroyed by the darkening.

5 words to best describe them

Sorry Aughra but gentle is not a word I would use to describe Deet. This girl is badass, strong, kindhearted, protective, and adorable af.

[princesssarcastia]

The Rise of Skywalker Review

Well, I actually went to see it!  I wasn’t sure that I would, but I’m honestly glad, because now i’ve got thoughts.

The first twenty minutes or so seemed really slapdash and disjointed, like they wanted to set up things for later but didn’t want to take the time to set them up well.  Everything was really rushed and shallow for that period.

But! This movie had a lot of poe-rey-finn interactions which I enjoyed deeply.  Rey and Poe sniping at each other, Finn and Rey being adorably close and caring, Finn and Poe being adorably close and caring.  They feel like they’ve actually spent time together! Excellent.

Leia’s scenes felt a little weird, like they were shoehorned in, but i still miss her so I’m kinda glad for her presence anyway.  Having her train Rey, pick up where Luke left off and push her to the finish line, makes me delighted.  Yes, Leia is force sensitive!!  She trained with her brother!!  She knows how to pass on what she learned!!!  She built a lightsaber!!!!!! excellent. (sidenote her lightsaber was sick.  i loved it. i want one)

I also liked how we got to see some diverse planets and terrain.  did they do their best on that front? no.  would have loved to see some more weird-ass alien planets, or even weird-ass terrain that actually exists in the real world, but they’re deathly afraid of being like the prequels, soooo.

The whole thing with the “sith dagger” and C-3P0′s memory was a shit storyline.  Here’s a magic item that will do everything we need! Give you the location of your navigator thing!! Magically fit against the skyline of the wreck of the deathstar, even though it’s an ancient artifact and the deathstar is constantly battered by incredibly powerful waves on an alien planet! ugh.  dumb.

If that droid from the old shipwreck was gonna have that knwoeldge the whole time,,,,,,, why not just let Rey befriend the droid,,,,,,,,instead of doing a “psych! gotcha!” with C-3P0′s memory. 

JJ Abrams being afraid to give real consequences to the new trio’s actions was shit.  Let them kill Chewie!  Let them essentially kill C-3P0! Or leave it out of the equation entirely!!!  These fake-outs cheapen emotional responses and motivations of the heroes of our story.

and hey, speaking of cheapening shit, why the ever-loving FUCK did they bring Palpatine back.  why.  I hate that.  I hated that SO MUCH IT WAS SO DUMB.  SO.  DUMB.  so darth vader redeemed and sacrificed himself over nothing, huh??  Anakin Skywalker, dumb bitch to the end, couldn’t even die right, because palpatine was fucking alive the whole time.  fuccking hell.  any hey, guess what?? Jedi can force-heal people, too! ha ha ha hahahahaha ha h  h a stupid anakin for believing palpatine had unique force powers and turning to the dark side, when really, it was a light-side power all along!!! (kill me)

(side note: healing being a power of the light and not the dark is thematically better, but uh.  see petty retconning below)

Making Rey his granddaughter is inarguably worse than having her be a true nobody, which was my number one pick.  I might even have been fine with it if she discovered it on her own!! But noooo, we need to have Kylo Ren and Luke tell her who she is.  Oh yeah, they knew who she was the whole time, lol! Isn’t that cute, stupid women having to be told who they are and what their legacy is. 

Which also makes her previous conversation with Kylo in TLJ cheap too! Look, I get it, we all hated TLJ, and Rian Johnson’s choices.  But...having Kylo tell Rey who she is twice, in two separate movies, and tell her two separate things each time, and have it be played straight both times, is just.  so.      dumb.   petty retconning of other people’s work is kind of disgusting.

That being said, in this movie I didn’t feel like Rey’s storyline was about anyone but her.  I mean, palpatine elements for sure, but except for being told whose granddaughter she was, she was basically in control of her own destiny.  I liked that a lot.

Rey’s fight with Kylo on the wreck of the death star? *chef’s kiss*.  Amazing.  Incredible.  Lightsaber duels have gotten so much better and I love them.  somewhere inside me my five-year old self is screaming for joy and picking up her toy lighsabers.  Ridley and Driver have, unfortunately, very good chemistry in their scenes together, and the tension while they fought was so good. 

Poe as a former drug dealer makes me tired.  Poe Dameron, who idolizes Leia and had rebellion pilots for parents, was a drug dealer?? You kidding me?? ugh.

Also, if i’m being petty, I hated the way force ghosts could interact with reality. 

Lando Calrissian!! Lando I love you.  I love you so much.  The idea of all those people coming to the Resistance’s aid is pretty cool tbh, and I liked it.  I liked Lando playing ambassador and politician for the resistance. 

I absolutely hated the ““planet-killing-cannon”“ palpatine’s fleet had.  These fucking,  fan-pandering morons just cannot let the idea of a planet-killer go, can they?  It’s not like a shit ton of ships, the biggest fleet in the galaxy, able to blockade hyper-space lanes and entire planets, would be a good enough threat, oh no.  audiences aren’t smart enough to respond to something that complicated, so we need to make it SUPER OBVIOUS, just like in TLJ.  “the death star but bigger/portable” is dumb.

Finn finding other defectors was so fucking cool, I love that for him.  Also, like, Im pretty sure they were all force-sensitive like he is, which I think is amazing.  Confirming Finn’s force sensitivity was the best decision they made in this movie, tbh. 

The driving problem of this movie was, in my opinion, the exec and creative teams being unable to stick to their guns with Kylo Ren as the big villian.  Twice, people reached out to him for redemption: his father in TFA, and rey in TLJ.  Twice, he rejected that offer, and ascended to Supreme Leader.

But instead of letting him do that, they instead turned him back to the light for little to no discernible reason.  What, his mother dying finally pushed him over the edge?? You kidding me???? He LITERALLY murdered his father in cold blood. i call bullshit. 

And because they couldn’t let kylo be the main villian, they also had to bring back palpatine.  Look man, Adam Driver abso-fuckin-lutely has the chops to be a big bad.  He’s really good at his job, actually, and I believe he could carry the weight of being the scary leader and face of the dark side.  But no, y’all are chicken.

I mean, even though I hated him turning back, driver-as-ben-solo was fucking lit.  He was so good for those, what two minutes?? The tension during his rush to Rey??? Him fucking with the KNights of Ren?? His switcheroo with Rey, the way he nods and bows a little when the Knights all step back, knowing they’re about to get their asses kicked?? Oh my god! It was so fun to watch.  You could tell, even from that much, he’s a cocky little shit, and would have been so fun to watch for three movies instead of three minutes.

Their kiss at the end when he dies?? boo, hiss, no thank you.  Not a fan.  I’ll concede their chemistry as actors, but that was not romantic chemistry between their characters.  nuh-uh no way no how.  gross.

Overall, like a 5/10.  Wildly inconsistent.  I really liked some parts, and enjoyed other parts out of context, and really hated other parts. 

ps— me, watching the ot3 hug Like That™: NOW KISS.

[amandajeanwrites]

A Love Letter to Knives Out

As my husband says, Rian Johnson’s Knives Out has been out for a long time now (aka two months, which I guess is a long time in Hollywood), but we just went to see it (took him long enough to take me!!!) and I can’t not talk about it.

For those of you who don’t know, Knives Out is the ultimate manor-house, family-values, murder mystery. One week after thriller novelist, Harlan Thrombey, commits suicide, the world renowned private investigator, Benoit Blanc, receives a wad of cash in the mail and a request to investigate the mysteries surrounding Thrombey’s demise. Thrombey’s family of white socialites are asked to return to the manor for further questioning in which you learn about the happenings on Harlan’s 85th birthday the night before he died. 

The film is a mash-up of perfectly timed flash backs, done in the hilarious point-of-view of the most recent character in question, but most of the film is seen through the stunning green gold eyes of Thrombey’s nurse, Marta Cabrera, who was the last person to see him alive. It’s an exciting who-done-it jampacked with family drama, white privelege, and sour (not to mention famous) faces, and I enjoyed every last morsel.

I’ll try not to get into spoiler land too much here, as I mainly just need to talk about how much this film inspired me. As a writer, specifically one who’s been struggling through writing mystery and thrillers myself, I was enthralled with every tiny decision Rian Johnson made, both with the screenwriting and direction. He knew the formula perfectly, implanting props and clues at the beginning that would definitely come to life later. 

I feel like before I even get into the writing though, I need to discuss production and set design, as the Thrombey family home completely blew me away. The outside of the house, besides being perfect for the kind of Clue-esque murder mystery novel, was merely unremarkable compared to the props and set dressing that was done inside. Before bed, I read every article I could interviewing the set decorator, David Schlesinger. I just had to know what informed all of the tiny details in this over-the-top, ornate home.

He said he based every single prop off of a novel that Harlan Thrombey would have written over the past sixty years. From there, he sourced the majority of antiques locally in the Boston area as the character would have done. I caught only a handful of odds and ends in the background, as the plot and characters keep sucking your focus back, but I can’t wait to see it again to see what else I can catch.

Okay, back to the writing. Rian Johnson’s attention to detail wasn’t the only thing I pulled inspiration from. The man clearly loves murder mysteries, as this story was reminiscent of all of those classics we all know and love, but he took so many major spins on those tropes, so nothing felt predictable. You really had no idea who to blame until the very last few minutes of the film. Every single character has a motive and not a one has an air-tight alibi. 

One of the ways he brilliantly diverts expectations is in the use of a main character. Marta Cabrera, played by Ana de Armas, the nurse, is the daughter of an immigrant woman, working hard to keep her family afloat and safe. She’s great at her job, forming a close bond with Harlan and his family. She seems to have a heart of gold. (She has a literal disorder where lying makes her vomit.)

She’s refreshing. I guess that’s what I’m getting at. Typically in these scenarios, we’re seeing everything through the eyes of the madcap detective (we’ll get to him in a moment), a strong-jawed, handsome gentleman who is seeing everything for the first time and is just learning the personalities of the characters through their faults and guilt. Through Marta, we’ve seen it before. We know them. We know how disgustingly obtuse the family is. We know they don’t care about her or where she’s from. We see the guilt before it’s ascertained. It’s just a beautiful twist. 

Also, someone pointed out on Tumblr that Marta’s character is refreshing, as woman, because she isn’t sexualized AT ALL. In the entire movie, never once do we see her in a revealing outfit. She’s often dressed as an innocent, middle class working woman, in normal, comfortable clothing. Not once do we see her snuggled up against the incredible sexy bad boy of the family, Ransom, an obvious pick for a love interest. She’s just a girl observing the family do horrible things, and not once is she sexually harassed for it. It’s incredible. This is what we want more of, Hollywood! (Louder for the people in the back!!!)

Going back to the point, however, that every character has a motive, Marta isn’t as innocent as she seems, and it makes for some incredibly poignant and emotional scenes which shockingly moved me to well up. That’s another part of the genius of this film, the emotions. One minute, you could be cackling out loud about a ridiculous comment made by the Alt-Right grandson, and the next minute you could be sympathizing for the characters who lost the patriarch of the family. 

It filled me with nostalgia, not only for other murder mysteries of this caliber, but because at one point, I leaned over to my husband and said “Oh my God, these are like my family get-togethers.” The family argued politics. They laughed and danced and partied. They told eat other to “eat shit” and got in fist fights. They cried, holding each other in apologies.

Aside from the family, comedic relief also came in the form of the aforementioned madcap detective, Benoit Blanc, played by Daniel Craig. Blanc, a detective straight from Civil War era Georgia, comes into the family with new eyes but old wisdom through experience. He figures everything out within the first fifteen minutes but struggles through the details for the rest of the film in waxing monologues about baked goods that will have you rolling. He teams up with Marta, “Watson” as he calls her, to unsheathe the dagger completely, so to speak. Their chemistry together truly makes the film.

I could go on and on about the rest of the characters and their perfect imperfections, but I have to go on to why I wanted to write this post in the first place. If you want to talk characters and actors (Toni Collette though!?!?), hit me up on Instagram @amandajeanwrites and I will discuss it with you for DAYS. (Shameless plug.)

So the point, of all of this, was how I left the theatre feeling insurmountably inspired. Not only was the writing impeccable, full of details and heart and soul and emotion, rounded characters, a set beginning middle and end, but at the heart of it all was a man successful for writing dozens of mystery and thriller novels. I know that sounds wild, that I was most inspired by the character who dies at the beginning, but truly I was. 

Harlan Thrombey is everything a writer aspires to. He has amazing success. He lives in the dream home. He has a mostly healthy (although ridiculous) family who loves him very much. He took them all under his wings to support them financially because his success gives him the means to help. He takes Marta in, although as his nurse at first, and befriends her and takes care of her and her family as well. And he’s able to do all of this because of his imagination.

Throughout the film, one of the police officers on the case is geeking out about the various set pieces because he’s a huge fan of Harlan’s work. I think every author wants that sort of fandom. Someday, I’d love a mansion full of brats and a stranger to come in and tell me how proud he is of my work and how honored he is to be in my home. 

I don’t know, I guess that aspect of it just really filled me with joy, and it pushed me to keep moving forward. I will have that house someday. I could, you know, go without the murder part of it. Let’s leave those for the novels.

TL;DR, Knives Out was an incredible representation of the murder mystery genre, and it’s going up on my list of favorite films of all time. Rian Johnson deserves all of the awards this season, as do his cast and crew. Bravo to all. 

Oh, also, thanks as always, for reading xo

Let me know in the comments if there’s a particular film that inspires you to keep pursuing your passions. 

[thebibliomancer]

Dark Crystal Age of Resistance ep 7 liveblog

“Time to Make… My Move”

Life got busy for a while and then I forgot to watch and then I remembered the game existed and I bought it and I played it and got to the point in the plot where I left off and realized crap I’d better get the plot from the show not the game, the game hasn’t been stellar with story.

So here we are!

Just a stream of thoughts.

And we start with vomiting Hup. Okay then. Good place to pick up.

Rian: “How could so much come out of one little podling?”

“The most beautiful desert flowers are always the most dangerous” This Dousan guy is a flirt!

Hup: -vomits-

Hah.

I like this desert with its random crystal spikes. Its very cool. Its got a lot of lightning which hits the sand and turns it into glass I guess.

The Circle of the Suns.

Uh oh lightning sandstorm

Lore: ‘i’m getting outta here!’ grabs brea and tries to climb up the mountain.

Brea: ‘don’t split the party my dude’

The CGI of Lore climbing the mountain looks a little stop motiony which makes me feel better about it being CGI.

Rian: “Well that was exciting” the anti-Jen.

I think Jen would have curled into an overstimulation ball by this point.

Heretic: “GELFLING”

Me: “SKEKSIS!”

Heretic: “WELCOME”

Heretic: “ITS WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU! LOOK UPON MY WONDER”

I like him

Hey, Heretic is Lore’s dad. Nice.

RIan: “You’re a Skeksis”

HERETIC: “I’M A WHAT??!?? THAT WAS A JEST! I’M A FUN SKEKSIS!”

I like him!

Heretic: “COME INSIDE AND BRING YOUR PODLING SLAVE”

Deet: “He’s not our slave, he’s our friend!”

Heretic: “????? EVEN BETTER”

He used to be the Conqueror and I could see it.

Heretic: “WELCOME TO THE CIRCLE OF THE SUUUN” -maniacally laughs for like a minute-

Rian: “Are you alone here?”

Heretic: “YES I AM ALONE so very alone BUT I’M ALSO WITH MYSELF”

Oh hey an UrRu

I think this is the first time any Gelfling has met an UrRu and they apparently they thought they were just legend.

Heretic losing his shit as UrGoh slowly walks over and slowly introduces himself.

UrGoh is apparently the Yakov Smirnov of Mystics.

Aw he’s shutting down Lore 

Lore hugs Brea goodbye

Heretic: “HMMPH HE NEVER HUGGED ME LIKE THAT BUT WHY SHOULD HE WE ONLY GAVE HIM LIFE”

And pulls out his shiny life ball.

Hup is not having a good time here.

Heretic: “WE HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU”

Brea: “We don’t really have time for a surprise”

Heretic: “WE HAVE WAITED OVER THREE HUNDRED TRINE FOR YOU TO SHOW UP! YOU WILL BE SURPRISED!!”

So over at the castle of the crystal, apparently the Skeksis have a hotline telephone webline right to the arathim. Not sure why since they’re apparently the sworn enemy of the Skeksis

OH SWEET the arathim are like a hive mind and form a big talking face to talk to the Emperor.

THis is really cool and creepy puppetry. 

Oh so the Arathim Ascendency were banished into the wild and been labelled public enemy one because they rose up against the Skeksis. So they were really just ahead of the curve.

The Emperor promises to return the arathim home cave to them if the arathim help quell the gelfling rebellion.

Deet: -almost eats some drug berries-

Rian: “Maybe don’t”

Poor Deet. I don’t think she’s had time to really adjust to the surface world before getting thrown into all kinds of misfortunes and mishaps.

Rian: “I think your nurloc rump dress is quite lovely” Aw, what a flirt!

I can see why the internet lost its shit over the Heretic and the Wanderer. They’re a delight.

Heretic is going to present THE TRUE HISTORY OF THRA

Aw poor Hup, he’s been press ganged into being an actor and Heretic has endless notes on his performance. Poor guy.

Hmm… what conquest could the Conqueror conquer if the Skeksis were seen as the rightful caretakers of Thra? What did the world look like in his prime?

Maybe the arathim maybe.

Then Thra gave urGoh and the Heretic a vision that Skeksis and UrRu should unite not divide. And the other Skeksis were like ‘gross’ and kicked him out.

They don’t mention what the Mystics said. Probably ‘lets not get ahead of ourselves.’

Heretic and Wanderer do an opera. Which is RANDOM VOCALIZING.

Emperor: “The Darkening!”

General: “Its purple”

Oh the arathim cave is infected with the Darkening so the Emperor is screwing them over. How expected.

Oh nerts the emperor thinks he can control the darkening eventually-

PUT YOUR NOSE BAACK ON SIR I DO NOT CARE FOR THIS

Emperor: “Never forget, there is absolutely nothing in this world which does not bend to my will”

If he’s messing with dark corruptive power no wonder he aged like crap and died before the other core group of Skeksis.

Oh double nerts, the Hunter is in the desert chasing down Rian.

Dousan flirt: “I’m not afraid of getting hacked to pieces by you”

His sidekick: “I AM, THEY’RE AT THE CIRCLE OF THE SUNS”

Deet is the only one who stayed awake through the whole opera. Aka the only one with TASTE

THEY’RE GOING TO DO PUPPETS

Puppets doing puppets how meta.

So they’re going over the plot reveal from the movie that the Skeksis and the UrRu used to be one. Hey they even have an UrSkek puppet. 

Also that the UrSkeks are aliens. 

They wooed Aughra with an orrery and then started doing experiments on the crystal. AND BROKE IT.

The worst house guests.

And then when the Skeksis started bullying the Mystics, they accidentally broke a shard off the crystal.

These are really good puppets that these puppets are puppeting.

UrGoh: “Every moment one is two is too terrible for one to bear”

Huh. Super special sword. The Dual Glaive. I guess since they can’t use the shard macguffin they need a different plot device.

Heretic: “Cast in the deepest fires of the inner sun, it carries the spirit of Thra. And when held by Gelfling holds the power to unite the seven clans and defeat the Skeksis!”

INNER SUN IS CANON

GIMME THURMA PLS

Pffft UrGoh accidentally set himself on fire the poor dear.

Rian just assumes that he’s the one who gets the plot sword. Pretty presumptive of him.

Heretic: “WE DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE THE DUAL GLAIVE”

They gave it to “the most reclusive of gelflings” where the three brothers dare not shine.

Deet: “oh hey its in my home”

Maudra Fara is planning to storm the castle. But a castle guard shows up and tells her that the castle guard were all killed by the skeksis

Fara promises to make the Skeksis pay.

Aughra: “Promises you cannot keep are no better than lies!”

Hello the all-wise buzzkill.

Fara: “No its cool after we overthrow the skeksis we’ll melt our weapons and have peace and stuff”

Aughra: “my point is that you should plot to survive you damn lemmings”

She’s not doing a good job convincing them to not try to fight because her suggestion is ‘go away and hide and a gelfling will eventually take care of things’

Also doesn’t help that she foretells that Stone-in-the-wood might fall and that just makes Fara indignant.

Oh no Tavra is getting chosen to be the ‘strong gelfling’ to be sacrificed to the arathim

She was too cool to live =(

UrGoh: “As   they   say……. Whats  good   in    the    gourd…… is    good    in    the    gelfling”

Heretic: “WHO SAYS THAT??”

UrGoh: “Every  one”

DAMMIT HUNTER WHY YOU BREAKING UP THIS COMEDY ACT much rude.

Hup stood up to the Hunter to protect Deet and whoops he’s light mass and got tossed

Hunter: “WHERES YOU FATHER NOW?”

Thats just a low blow.

Hey its the Archer! He’s come to shoot himself to save the others. That takes determination.

And Hunter runs off with Brea out of spite. What a dick.

Ooo near night sky in the desert of Thra is beautiful. Love the scenery.

And back at Stone-in-the-wood right when Maudra Fara is planning the castle attack on the war planning board the Skeksis General show up. WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF SPIDERS

The General is kinda more extra than you’d think of him. I mean, all Skeksis are extra but I saw him as one of the more lowkey ones. Like a watered down Garthim-Master.

Huh. Princess Tavra is here. Looking… Oh no she’s speaking with the voice of the legion.

OH NO SHE’S MADE OF SPIDERS 

UNPLEASANT

I know these are dangerous spider monsters but they’re tiny and the Gelfling trying to stomp on them is kinda silly.

Then again I have minor arachnophobia so this is still working on me.

Oh gross the threader arathim borged the whole stone-in-the-wood village.

Wait, if they’re this dangerous how come they were a backwater problem this whole time?

One tries to get Aughra

Aughra: “What? You try to control Aughra? AUGHRA CAN BARELY CONTROL AUGHRA!” -yeets the spider-

That’s a mood.

Emperor: -watching the plot through a telescope- “lol”

[youngerdaniel]

Youngo’s 2019 at the Movies (with Baby Yoda)

IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN, FOLKS...

Wherein this blog crawls out of the woodwork with fresh aspirations for a more consistent content strategy in the year to come. Like a Baby Yoda emerging from his floating iron egg to great the sun. So let’s dust off some cobwebs and talk about the great movies that came out in 2019.

BRIEF UPDATES FROM THE WAFFLER This year marked a turning point. No, not that fucking decade that everybody’s making a big deal about. Not even that I hit 30 but thankfully have most of my (still not totally gray) hair... Nope, I went into business for myself. I leapt off the stable lily pad of 9-5 etc. and went freelance! Life’s been full of stories since then -- both the kind I write, and the kind I get to look under the hood on. I’m happy to report I’ve written more than ever before... Just not blogs, and mostly stuff I’m not at liberty to discuss.

*Clears throat. Pulls up the collar on his trench coat.* And I may have had more hair turn gray. Turns out, running your own ship is quite a bit of work, especially when you’re teaching yourself how the hell you do it. Nevertheless, I loved the shit out of every minute of it, and I still use phrases like nevertheless. It could easily be a blog (or several) for a different time, but the short and easy explanation of the absence is I was busy, it was fun, get over it. 

Besides, we don’t actually care about whatever lame excuse I have for why I haven’t been posting. We’re here because it’s 2020 and time for a listicle, dammit! This one is neither definitive nor ranked. But dang if 2019′s fodder didn’t come sauntering into theaters like the big chuckling cherub of Christmas Present, with a cornucopia of awesomeness. 

THINGS I LOVED, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

UNDER THE SILVER LAKE David Robert Mitchell’s neo noir takes a fittingly existential approach to detective fiction. An enigmatic case, hidden clues and coded pop culture, Andrew Garfield’s charmingly hapless sleuth... There’s a lot to love in this weird soup of a movie. At times nightmarish, often trippy, and an excellent performance from a parrot. Late night fodder.

CLIMAX Gaspar Noe does not make sane movies. With Climax, there’s a hypnotic quality that sucks you in and drags you along on its nightmarish journey as a group of dancers drink from a punchbowl laced with drugs. The result is absolute bedlam, and everything from the lighting to the camerawork pulls its weight to put you into the action. This is the kind of thing you watch and marvel that, “Wow, they went there.” to varying degrees of satisfaction. Like a freight train barreling toward the side of a mountain, it’s hard to look away even though you know you probably should. 

JOJO RABBIT And then there’s a different kind of madness. The movie that billed itself as “The movie that shouldn’t work.” Jojo Rabbit is so full of heart. This is Taika Waititi in full force, and hilarity meets real pathos. Love is better than Nazis. It’s a simple message, and I think it doesn’t need to be much more. The relevance of such a narrative in our time is pretty disappointing, but the truth seems to be that we need ones like this to come along and remind the collective. The mashup of humor with genuine drama is balanced in a way that will feel familiar to fans of THE HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE or BOY. The performances are superb, and it’s a beautiful looking film. If you missed it last year, start the new one off right and amend this problem.

US The thing I dug the most about US was how unique it felt. Original premises in horror are on the rise, and there’s no denying the man leading the wave is Jordan Peele. The social commentary elements of this followup to GET OUT play with a little more subtlety, and in some ways it almost felt like a stronger move... But I refuse to compare the two of them. US stands out in its own right, and carries some of the most memorable performances of the year. A twisting narrative that crackles with tension, and a concept that haunts the imagination. What if your every action had an equal an opposite effect on a mirrored version of yourself? A study on the impact of the class system, and a nightmarish what-if to explain the real life series of underground tunnels that span the United States. Also, that costume design! That Alexa gag! The way this one opens up at the midpoint was such a delight in the theater. I’d apologize for spoilers, but let’s be real... You’ve seen this movie.

AD ASTRA Best summed up as “Daddy Issues in Space,” AD ASTRA feels like the kind of sci-fi mysteries that were made in the late 70s and 80s. A spellbinding journey to the far edges of the galaxy to save the world, and maybe prove that aliens exist. Oh, and to stop your possibly insane father from destroying the human race on the way. Brad Pitt is on fire, and everything about this potent emotional journey remains focused on his character’s dilemma of deciding whether or not his father was a good man, what it means to him and his own isolated existence, and whether he can overcome that shit and live a life instead of taking risks. From its opening scene to its closing one, this one blends gripping life-or-death set-pieces exploring the dangers of space travel and the cyclical nature of humanity’s progress with small moments. The journey, the heart-wrenching climax, and the harrowing trip home is well worth the rental fee. Check it out.

THE GIRL ON THE THIRD FLOOR

Some horror movies exist to make you think, some exist to cover their protagonists in black goo, subject them to grueling physical and psychological lament, and chuck ‘em through a woodchipper for good measure. The Girl on the Third Floor takes your average premise of “Stubborn and troubled guy picks a fixer-upper house to flip, only to discover horrors beyond his imagining” and leans hard into the gross-outs and festering boils of body horror. Reminiscent of Evil Dead, Amityville, and Dead Alive, there’s so much insanity to love, and the movie makes some big turns -- some surprising, some daring, some a little out there. It is by no means perfect, but it’s got a charm about its rough edges. You will never look at a marble the same way again.

I LOST MY BODY

I know. “A life-affirming work” left me a little skeptical too. But from its very first frame, I LOST MY BODY is arresting. Its hypnotic narrative follows the story of a severed hand in search of its owner, and has great fun carrying you along with its troubled protagonist’s journey from a crush to obsession. The sheer amount of visual storytelling and striking imagery is worth the runtime, but for any arthouse lovers feeling a little too chilled to hop down to the nearest indie theatre can open a new tab and have at it. Didn’t expect to be as moved by this one as I was, and for that I must recommend it.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME The fact that a movie like this can even exist is pretty amazing, and I have to say, as the culmination to the Avengers saga as we know it, ENDGAME delivered something with way more heart and character than I expected. Funny, sad, bittersweet, and massively satisfying. This is the Thanksgiving Turkey dinner of movies. It’s got everything. But the best part for me was how little fighting the big superhero finale of the decade had to it. Firmly rooted in character, taking ambitious and surprising turns in their trajectories, and balancing the fanwanks with a genuinely exciting story. I mean, c’mon. Time heist? A Greatest Hits play that also recontextualizes a few of the lesser films of the sweeping franchise? The third act battle felt a little tacked-on, but the conclusion felt like exactly what we needed. 

READY OR NOT I love this movie. Love it like an adorable, scrappy friend who always manages to make their social commentary entertaining. Hide and Seek turns deadly for a bride to be when she meets her future in-laws, the proprietors of a board game company that takes their product very seriously. A darkly funny survive-the-gauntlet-till-morning ride. Great characters. Awesome kills. A few really unexpected and delightfully devilish turns. Oh, and it takes a stab at privilege and how far some people are willing to go to preserve theirs. It’s got teeth, a mean bite, and it’s fun to walk around the neighborhood. If you liked YOU’RE NEXT, you will probably love this movie. I still can’t get its final few moments out of my head. And I mean that in the best way.

PARASITE Speaking of social criticism and privilege, there’s no denying the brute fucking force of PARASITE. Following a struggling family who imbed themselves into a rich family by posing as the help, this madcap game of suspense takes so many surprising turns that even describing the full plot spoils the fun. Go into this one having read as little as possible. It will take you for a spin. Part con movie, part social critique, part comedy and part tragedy, it’s a lot to digest, but it’s a damned tasty treat. 

KNIVES OUT In a word, it’s fun. Rian Johnson’s locked room murder mystery packs some wonderful barbs in the side of affluence, armchair activism, and the corruptive nature of wealth. A wealthy novelist is found dead, and all of his family members have motive... But don’t let the familiar set-up fool you, KNIVES OUT plays fair with its audience, but it is a fast runner. The story jumps ahead of you almost every time you think you’ve got it figured out. Daniel Craig’s genius sleuth is full of likable energy, protagonist Marta is full of layers, and the family are all such a pleasure to watch. Several times along the trip, I had no idea where the story would turn next, or how much further the envelope could be pushed, but by the end, I came out marveling at its construction. The production design is unreal. The direction and vibe are so unique, and by the closing image, it’s nearly impossible not to enjoy the shift in values. There’s also a speech involving donuts that I will be reciting at parties for the foreseeable future.

DANIEL ISN’T REAL

I closed off the year with this wildly inventive take on the possession trope. This. Movie. Is. Nuts. Which, considering it was produced by the same folks who did MANDY, shouldn’t come as a surprise. A mind-bending tale that riffs on Jekyll and Hyde, with a great modernization tackling the concept from a mental health perspective... It’s not the first time it’s been done, but the execution is just excellent. We follow a disturbed young man whose imaginary friend hatched from a childhood trauma makes a devilish return to play hell with his adult life. It’s a psychological horror that’s FIGHT CLUB meets THE DOUBLE. Great look. Excellent creature design and visuals for a cosmic horror that makes great use of low budget devices. If you’re looking for the answer to the age old question of “Should my third act involve my protagonist battling his inner demons literally with a rooftop sword fight?” You’ve found your contender.

I’ll tell you this, reader friend. The hardest part about 2019′s slate at the box office was deciding what to see. There were so many interesting movies that came out, brimming with big ideas and social commentary. Sad as the state of the world is, there’s no denying times of unrest have a knack for yielding great art. The Trump era has made its stamp on Hollywood for better or for worse. But the rising tide of voices pushing back give me a bit of hope, and a lot of salve for the whole existential dread thing. I think that, however small it is, is good.

For what it’s worth, none of these films are reinventing the wheel or burning flags... But they are asking questions. Okay, CLIMAX, really isn’t asking anything, but it is fun as hell. There’s just as much merit in the salve as there is in the flame that caused the burn.  So may your 2020 be full of entertainment. I’ll try to get some useful content up here at least every couple of months in smaller digestible forms. Now go forth and brunch, you hungover, resolution-breaking slob.

[atlfics]

Dare- All Time Low Fanfiction

Despite knowing it’s a bad idea, Alex accepts a dare from his bandmates. Word Count: 1690

More notes at the end. 

“That show was fun, but I’m so glad it’s over. I started to get hungry like halfway through our set,” Jack said as he walked into a late-night grocery store with the rest of his band.

“Of course you would spend the entire show thinking about food,” Rian said, laughing some.

“We should get something that we all like, we never really ate dinner before going onstage,” Zack pointed out.

“Well, I’m kind of in the mood for something sweet,” Alex added.

“We should get ice cream! We can get one of those huge tubs and share it!” Jack suggested.

“Jack, you know I can’t have that. If you want me to be able to have some, it’ll have to be sorbet,” Alex replied.

“Oh right, I forgot, Alex is boring,” Jack said in a mock annoyed tone.

“It’s called lactose intolerant,” Alex corrected.

“Well, the three of us could get ice cream, and you can just get something else,” Rian suggested.

“I mean, I guess that’s fine. It’s not like I’ll feel left out or anything,” Alex replied.

“I’d get whatever you’re getting, but ice cream sounds really good right now,” Zack quietly replied. Alex rolled his eyes as he got a pack of cookies, then followed his band to the dairy section of the store.

Normally, Alex wouldn’t be so frustrated about something as trivial as this, but he was a bit buzzed from drinking before, during, and after their set, which made his emotions much more intense than usual.

Even though it was late at night, the ice cream freezer appeared to be fully stocked, much to their delight.

“Damn, they have everything here!” Rian exclaimed.

“All of this looks so good!” Jack added.

“There’s no need to rub it in,” Alex said, sounding frustrated.

“We’re not trying to do that, you’re just a bit drunk, and taking shit the wrong way because of that,” Zack replied.

“Yeah, chill out, Alex. Besides, you haven’t tried ice cream or any dairy in forever, I bet you’d be totally fine to have it now,” Rian added.

“I can almost promise you that I wouldn’t be fine, it doesn’t work that way,” Alex replied.

“Hey, I have a dare for you. Well, I guess it’s more of a bet, because there’s money involved,” Jack stated.

“What is it?” Alex asked.

“Well, I think you’re just being a big baby about all of this, and I bet you’d be fine to have the ice cream now, you just don’t want to. You have to drink this tiny ass thing of milk. If you do it and don’t get sick, you owe me one hundred dollars because I’d be right, and if it does make you sick, I’ll owe you one hundred dollars because you’d be right,” Jack offered.

“Okay, I think we just figured out how drunk Jack is,” Zack said, laughing some.

“Yeah, Alex might be a bit tipsy, but he’s not stupid, Jack. He’d never-“ Rian started.

“I’ll do it! It’ll be the easiest one hundred dollars I’ll ever make,” Alex stated.

“Alex, you can’t seriously think that this is a good idea,” Zack tried.

“I’ll be okay,” Alex stated.

“Yeah, because you’ll be fine, and you know you’ll lose this bet. This will be the easiest money I ever make,” Jack said back.

“When I do get sick, you’re going to be the one to help me since you’ve been such an ass; that’s part of the conditions for when you lose,” Alex replied.

“This is going to go so well,” Zack mumbled in a worried voice. He’d seen Jack and Alex do some ridiculous things when intoxicated, but this was next level stupid, at least in Zack’s opinion.

“Alex, you know that this is more than likely going to ruin your night, right?” Rian asked.

“Yeah, but that hundred dollars I’ll be getting for it will make everything worth it,” Alex replied. Jack, Rian and Zack all picked out what ice cream they wanted, then purchased that, along with Alex’s cookies and the small bottle of milk. Alex and Jack also took out a hundred dollars cash to pay up for their bet, then they all walked back to their bus.

They quickly changed out of their stage outfits into comfy clothes. Alex went to the back lounge with his cookies while his band all served themselves ice cream. Once the other three were ready, they went to the back lounge and got comfortable on the couch.

“Alex, you know that this is really stupid, right?” Rian asked.

“Yeah, this probably isn’t my best idea, but I think I’m drunk enough to justify it,” Alex replied.

“Oh man, I bet the alcohol is going to make this even worse for you. Take this, I found it in the kitchen” Zack said, handing Alex a bucket.

“Alright man, are you ready to be a hundred dollars poorer?” Jack joked.

“You mean a hundred dollars richer! I can’t believe that you really think you’re right, you must be pretty fucked up,” Alex said, laughing some.

“Well, you’re not wrong in thinking that,” Jack replied, laughing as well. Alex looked at the drink in front of him and for the first time since accepting the dare, felt a bit nervous. He knew that this was a bad idea and that he would have a very rough night after, but he really wanted to prove himself to be right, and the money did sound really nice.

“Okay, I’m going to do it!” Alex exclaimed. He unscrewed the cap of the milk as half of his band gave him concerned looks. Seconds later, Alex started to drink from the container.

After a couple minutes, he’d finished the whole thing. He took a deep breath as he sat the container on the coffee table in front of him.

“How’re you feeling, Alex?” Rian asked.

“As of now, I just feel really full, but not nauseous,” Alex replied.

“See, I was right!” Jack exclaimed.

“I don’t know, Jack, I think you’re going to lose this one,” Zack replied.

“Alex, for your sake, I hope that Jack is right, but I doubt he will be,” Rian stated.

“Oh, I know I’ll win this, unfortunately. It’s just a matter of time,” Alex replied.

“You know, when people say that you’re supposed to do stupid shit in your teens and twenties, I don’t really think that this is what they mean by it,” Zack said.

“While we wait to see that Alex is fine and a hundred dollars poorer, should we play something?” Jack suggested. They all agreed, then Jack set up Mario Kart in the Wii.

After their second race finished, Alex felt his stomach start to churn painfully.

“Hey, take me out of the game,” Alex requested, wrapping his arms around his stomach and hunching over.

“Are you going to get sick?” Rian asked.

“Oh, for sure,” Alex replied quietly.

“Wait, are you actually?” Jack asked, sounding concerned.

“Yes, Jack. I’ve been saying that ever since you proposed this dare,” Alex replied.

“Did you really think he was joking?” Zack asked.

“Well, yeah. I mean, I didn’t expect him to follow through with this if he knew he’d actually get sick from it, that’s just stupid,” Jack explained.

“Well, you were pissing me off, so I had a point to prove,” Alex said in a strained voice. Suddenly, the bus took a sharp turn, sending Alex over the edge.

He quickly grabbed the bucket that Jack had given him and got sick into it. Now guilt-ridden, Jack sat next to Alex and rubbed his back as he got sick. After a couple of minutes, Alex finally stopped, and leaned up against his seat.

“Are you okay, man?” Jack asked.

“I feel like shit, but at least I’m a hundred dollars richer,” Alex replied.

“Well, you definitely won the bet, man. I’m sorry, I really thought you’d either be fine or just not accept the dare if you knew this would happen,” Jack explained.

“Yeah, that would’ve been the smart thing to do. My stomach would’ve hurt badly if I’d just drank half of what I drank, so since I had that whole thing, I’m feeling terrible,” Alex said back.

“Do you think you’re going to get sick again?” Rian asked his friend.

“I want to say no, but I’m not really sure. I still feel awful,” Alex replied.

“I hope that you do something really awesome with that hundred dollars because of this so you can make feeling this shitty worth it,” Zack added.

“Oh, I’ll think of something good. Hey, would one of you mind getting me some anti-nausea medicine?” Alex requested.

“Do you think you’ll actually be able to keep that down?” Rian asked.

“I’m going to try my best to,” Alex replied, laughing some.

“I’ll get it for you, man,” Jack said. He got up and quickly got what Alex asked for. Alex took the medicine, then slowly sipped at his water.

“Are you feeling any better now that some time has passed?” Zack asked.

“A little, I guess. I don’t think I’ll puke again, so at least there’s that,” Alex replied.

“That’s a relief. Also, here it is, all one hundred of it,” Jack said, handing Alex five twenty-dollar bills.

“This makes everything kind of worth it. I’ll spend it wisely,” Alex joked.

“Good. Hey, I’m sorry that I kind of made you sick,” Jack said.

“Nah, this one, sadly, is on me,” Alex replied, laughing more at his own stubbornness and stupidity.

“Well, I’m glad that you’re not mad at me,” Jack stated.

“I’m glad that this will hopefully make you never ask me if I can have ice cream again,” Alex replied.

“Oh, I won’t. It must fucking suck to be allergic to ice cream!” Jack exclaimed.

“It’s not fun,” Alex replied.

“Now that you guys are done being morons, why don’t we watch a movie?” Rian suggested.

Everyone agreed, and they decided on a Disney movie. They ended up all sleeping in the back and spent the next few days making fun of Alex for being so stubborn.

A/N: Hey guys! This story was a request from my AO3 (awgaskarth0805), and it's loosely based on an old atl video from 2007/2008! Random fun fact- the beginning of this was super fun for me to write (the grocery store part), because I actually met Jack in a grocery store after an atl show last year, and I thought of that night the entire time I wrote it! That's also why I have the 0805 in my user on AO3! (it was the day I met him- august 5th!). I hope you guys liked this one, and please continue sending requests as you think of them, I love writing them for you guys! Lots of love, Liv.

[letterboxd]

Ten Things We Learned at the Rise of Skywalker Press Conference.

Director J.J. Abrams and the key cast spill some beans about Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.

Although we’re gifted more Star Wars content than ever these days—all hail baby Yoda—a new Star Wars film still means something. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker “is wrapping not one film, not three films, but nine,” says director J.J. Abrams, “so the responsibility was significant.”

Abrams is only the second two-time Star Wars director after George Lucas, lured back because “we live in a crazy time, and Star Wars to me was about hope. It was about community, it was about the underdog… Seeing all oddballs represented and the most unlikely friends. It really is about hope, and it’s about coming back to a sense of possibility.”

As the culmination of the nine-film Skywalker saga, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker has the dual burden of wrapping up one of—if not—the most beloved cinematic stories ever told, and helping the franchise move on from the often toxic divisiveness associated with the previous film, Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi. Which was amazing, by the way.

Daisy Ridley (Rey) and Adam Driver (Kylo Ren) in ‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’.

Letterboxd’s West Coast reporter Dominic Corry reports his learnings from a press event with the key cast, plus Abrams, Lucasfilm head Kathleen Kennedy, and co-writer Chris Terrio (an Oscar winner for Argo).

1. Sure, the fans are everything, but you can’t think about them. “My job as director was to make sure that all the pressures of all the obvious things—fan expectations and studio—weren’t on the set, so that on the set we could have a buoyancy, a sense of being spry,” says J.J. Abrams. “While it was never quite an ‘indie’ on the set of this movie, we needed to keep the thing feeling as human as possible, and not like a massive machine.” Oscar Isaac (Poe Dameron) agrees: “The way we approached shooting a lot of these scenes, there was a looseness to it. There were things shot in big, beautiful, choreographed takes that are just astounding to watch.”

2. It’s all good when you have the right people. “We didn't know at the beginning of The Force Awakens exactly what it would look like with Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver and Oscar Isaac and John Boyega,” says Abrams. “What would that cast be like? On the first day of Rise of Skywalker, we knew those things were working. What we didn’t know was everything else. The scale of the movie is pretty enormous, [but] none of that would matter if you didn’t care deeply and track with the people. So the most important thing—people—we were good with. We knew we had this incredible cast, who I think have gone beyond people’s expectations and are extremely spectacular in the film.”

Anthony Daniels (C-3PO) and Oscar Isaac (Poe Dameron).

3. Isaac and Boyega fail, again, to quell the Poe and Finn-shipping frenzy. “When Oscar first came in, the chemistry was blatant,” John Boyega (Finn) reminisces. “There was a natural vibe between me and Oscar. I don’t know why. I just liked the guy.” Oscar Isaac elaborates in, er, more detail. “He came into my dressing room, he was so sweet. He was like, ‘You wanna run the scene before?’ and I’m like ‘Yeah!’ In the dressing room we were like butt-to-butt and ran the scene together and from then on we’ve been in that position.”

4. Rian Johnson’s Last Jedi set things up nicely for Skywalker. “Larry Kasdan and I, and Michelle Rejwan and Kathy [Kennedy], the producers, we had talked about quite a few things back [on The Force Awakens], so it was a bit of picking up where we had left off,” Abrams explains of Rise of Skywalker’s storyline. “What Rian Johnson had done in The Last Jedi had set up some things that were wonderful for the story. One of the things being that the cast was separated. The characters weren’t together for the entire movie, essentially, so this was the first time this group got to be together.”

Getting together with co-writer Chris Terrio to pick up the threads, Abrams says, “we immediately wanted to tell a story of an adventure, there were some very specific things that we were both drawn to immediately. We just started doing that thing that you do, which is you say: ‘what do you desperately want to see? What feels right?’”

5. Keri Russell freaked J.J. Abrams out. New cast member Keri Russell, who plays the mysterious bad-ass Zorii Bliss, kept her mask on between takes. “J.J. emailed me and said: ‘Do you wanna be in Star Wars?’, and I was like, ‘Yeah!’ Then he told me the idea about the mask. Personally I loved the mask. That’s my fantasy: that I can see everyone, in a super-tough version of myself in costume, and nobody can see me. That’s my dream. It’s a real power play. Because no one can really see what you’re thinking, and you can see everyone else.”

Keri Russell as Zorii Bliss.

The problem was, says Abrams, “Keri loved the mask so much that the first two days she worked as Zorii, the entire two days, I never saw her face. She could have, like most people, taken the mask off between takes. Or after a couple of hours. Or after two whole days! I got to work with Keri for a couple of days and never saw her. It was weird.”

6. There are horses in space. Space horses. Fellow new addition Naomi Ackie, who plays mysterious freedom fighter Jannah, found her character through Jannah’s physicality. “I felt like Jannah’s strength was in her body, so when I got to training, that’s when I was like, ‘I’ve got this’, being able to do pull-ups and horse riding, and with that came the confidence that I hadn’t previously experienced.” (Those space horses have a name: orbaks.)

Naomi Ackie as freedom fighter Jannah.

7. Richard E. Grant broke the review embargo and was not sued (yet). Third major new cast addition Richard E. Grant, who plays Allegiant General Pryde, feared he was in deep trouble for tweeting his reaction to the movie after a cast screening the night before this press event. “I thought that Disney would sue me, because I think you’re not supposed to say anything about it. But I didn’t tweet any spoilers,” he promised, before going on to review the film some more.

Just seen the 1st cast screening of @starwars #THE RISE OF SKYWALKER. What it achieves, weaves & resolves, is a total emotional meltdown & resurrection of the Spirit. Bravo to @jjabrams & his astonishing cast & creative crew 💥🚀💥🚀💥🚀💥🚀💥🚀💥🚀 pic.twitter.com/EwtYghYTXK

— Richard E. Grant (@RichardEGrant)

December 4, 2019

“Having seen the first one when I was a theater student when I was twenty years old, before many of this cast were even born, it’s an extraordinarily emotional thing to see just the passing of time that goes through all of these movies. It felt really like a combination of everything I’d read in the Bible, Greek mythology, The Wizard of Oz all rolled into one. It delivers an emotional wallop at the end that I was totally unprepared for. I was wiped out and I barely slept. So thank you very much for having me.”

8. Carrie Fisher is everywhere. “I, like everyone who knew her, loved Carrie,” says Abrams. “The idea of continuing the story without Leia wasn’t a possibility, and there was no way we were gonna do a digital Leia. There was no way we would ever re-cast it. But we couldn’t do it without her. And when we went back to look at the scenes that we hadn’t used in The Force Awakens, what we realized is we had an opportunity and we could use that footage, use the lines that she was saying, use literally the lighting, the… [at this moment a stage light suddenly and unexpectedly turns off] …that was amazing. That was creepy. Hi Carrie. That’s so Carrie, by the way, to do that. Weird.

The late Carrie Fisher (Leia) hugs Daisy Ridley (Rey).

“In any event,” Abrams continues, “we knew we had an opportunity to use the footage to create scenes that Leia could be in. And of course, had Carrie been around—and it’s still impossible for me to believe she isn’t, because we’ve been editing with her for about a year, and she’s been very much alive with us in every scene—if we’d had Carrie around, would we have done some different things here and there? Of course we would have. But we had an opportunity to have Carrie in the movie, and working with all the actors, including Billie Lourd, her daughter, who’s in scenes with her, we were able to do something that Carrie herself, I’d like to think, would be happy with. She’s great in the movie, of course. And it’s still emotional and moving to think of her and how sad we all are that she’s not sitting here with us.”

9. Everyone is emotional. Daisy Ridley found the emotional demands of playing Rey more trying than the physical burden. “With the physical stuff, you train and train and train… obviously the stamina needs to be there for you to continue to do the thing. But I would say it was more demanding emotionally, because there really wasn’t a day where I was like, ‘Oh, it’s just a quick scene’. Coming from the last one, which was quite heavy, even the joyous scenes I found very strange to do. That was probably the most tricky thing, to sustain that emotion. There’s a singular intention that was tiring.”

Likewise, Oscar Isaac found his character’s optimism tested. “He’s always had a bit of wild-card energy in figuring out where he fits in the story, and I remember J.J. getting excited about dirtying up the squeaky flyboy image that he’s had for a bit and just revealing a bit more of his personality. [We see] the hope that I think he in particular brings, a kind of relentless, almost aggressive optimism that he has. And how that is tested. And how he tries to push them all even when it seems quite hopeless.”

10. John Boyega has no time for shit-talking. “I really do genuinely respect J.J. because he’s not into bullshit,” Boyega says. “When you come into this industry the way I did, you get a whole bunch of promises. A whole bunch of people telling you, ‘this is gonna happen and that’s gonna happen’. J.J. was like: ‘I really liked you in Attack the Block and we’re gonna get you in something’, and in my head I was like, ‘I’ll see you in twenty years mate, champion’. But I auditioned at [Abrams’ production company] Bad Robot several times before Star Wars. For TV shows and other stuff. And it just so happens that Star Wars was what I was right for. I appreciate him not being like the rest of this industry, talking shit half the time.”

‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ is in theaters from December 20. Related: read our recent interview with Rian Johnson about his new whodunit, ‘Knives Out’. The Star Wars films, ranked by weighted average rating (‘The Empire Strikes Back’ takes the top spot), and by overall popularity (‘The Force Awakens’ rules). Naomi Ackie appeared in ‘Lady Macbeth’ with Florence Pugh. See the rest of her film history here.

[book-of-ryker]

When the Navy found out I smoked marijuana, I was at a firing range. I had an M-4 and an M-9, one being an automatic rifle, the other a pistol.

They disarmed me immediately, and I remember knowing why they did.

In the twenty seconds it took me to walk over to the disarming barrel, my thoughts were, “Pull the pistol out, put the barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger” for as many times I could mentally repeat before I lost the opportunity. I called my dad while a Chief was on his way to pick me up.

After the phone call, I deleted all of my Facebook messages at the recommendation of my father.

All of my text messages. too. My dad swore the Chief wasn’t my friend, and would screw me over at his first chance and not to tell him anything, at all.

The deleted threads of conversations with people who either didn’t exist anymore, or we had stopped talking.

I must have chain smoked about fifteen cigarettes in the hour and a half it took for this Chief to arrive.

All the while, I had been wishing that I had the courage to just pull that fucking trigger.

That anxiety was unbearable.

I went to a DRB, which is where I stand in front of a bunch of senior enlisted military.

At first, I came in with my shoulders back , military discipline and all. At the end, I was escorted out by a compassionate Master Chief, and I was bawling.

I have wanted to kill myself for as far back as I can remember. I smoked weed because all of my pain in life is unbearable and my mind never shuts the fuck up.

I don’t understand reality the way everyone seems to and it’s isolating, like being in the dimension next door.

"Most everyone who doesn’t know me resents me. Most everyone who knows me tolerates me," I tell myself.

I sat outside and cried, blubbering to these senior enlisted folks.

As a Second Class Petty Officer with all of the skills that I had possessed. I was in the United States Navy for five long years, and nine excruciating months and two awkward days.

I had been to mental health multiple times in my  Naval career. The first psychiatrist that I ever spoke to was at NATTC Pensacola.

It’s not even six months of me getting out of the Navy now...

My present life finds me in this bed at some house in South Carolina, Like a muscle, those words stream across my mind like a teleprompter, “You should have died on that day. You should have fucking killed yourself.”

And for myself, I finally gave myself the courage to tell myself, “No.” "I love you for just who you are. I love the way you think, I love the way you handle thing[s] (most of the time ^.^), I love what you do. You have a very solid and strong mind, you think things through very thoroughly, and you have a very good outward perspective. I don't know if that helps, but that's the best I can come up with while working." Let me tell you what I think happened before I tell you why I think we should reconnect. I'm 26 years old and the one and only thing in my life that I regret, to this day, is what I once said simply to hurt you. I was an awful boyfriend for you. Not all of the time, obviously. But my only regret comes from when I said out of annoyance and irresponsibility, 'I guess you're going to have to celebrate Thanksgiving without your boyfriend or your mom.." You eyes glazed over me. You slumped over. And you sobbed. I walked towards you and hugged you because that sort of rage-to-regret is exactly the kind of Bipolar Disorder that I am used to. It's been my entire life, Nicole. It's all I have ever known. Albeit, the worst of it all is over and I'm just waiting for all of my hopes and dreams to bloom into the flowers I have been cultivating. The night we went to Twin Peaks was the night you said goodbye, even though you never did. You and I both are aware that we would come across each other someday, I think. I don't have any proof for that delusion/hope, but hey, I don't know everything which means I have unfettered access to being totally wrong and totally right, until one of us is deceased. I do remember being in absolute bliss that night we met up and you were drunk with me in the Whataburger drive through and that's about all I have for that. Mike and I moved out of the house because we wouldn't be able to renew the lease before I had to get my new job in the Navy. I moved into an apartment on the second floor and I got a dog named Itachi. I did loads of LSD that I'd gotten and I had a REALLY FUCKING AWFUL TRIP with Hailey Campbell (also tripping) and Rian Nobles (not tripping). I went to my grandmother's funeral in New York with my Dad and Alex. I found out that my photographic memory is real because I reminded my Uncle about the fit my brother went into at the LAST funeral we gathered. Which was Renee's. I lived with Lauren Teston for a long time after that. I started smoking weed because, Nicole, I didn't know what to do.. Everyone has always left me, and I only NOW understand why: me. But I didnt see it like that. It didn't feel like that.. It didn't feel like I had an emotional problem. I didn't know. But in retrospect, Nicole, my emotions felt like a chainsaw to my insides. Our breakup was the healthiest breakup for me, and it was also the worst. (2020 readers, it got way worse) I didn't leave for California until right before October 10, 2016. I was trained to be an Engine Mechanic by the Seabees and I learned a fuck ton about cars. I did more PT than anywhere else in my military career. Every Friday was a 4:30 A.M., seven mile run with the whole school. Really, it was a fourteen mile run, but it makes me sound less of a douche if I say seven, maybe. I came home on leave for Christmas and I smoked even more weed. I came back to California to finish my school. Byy the way, there were two onomatopoeia's in a barracks room together: Petty Officer Quackenbush and Petty officer Miao (this or 'mao' is also the Chinese word for cat") I left Port Hueneme after meeting Johnny Depp in L.A. I drove, for the third time, across the country. I was at Gulfport, Mississippi for a few months, learning combat procedures with the Seabees. I pissed hot in Gulfport. I wrote a poem that I'll attach later about what that was like. I went to some military proceedings, reduced in rank,  lost a lot of money, had to go to two different hospitals for one month. I first went to Garden Park Hospital for a suicide watch that I had been placed under after the military proceedings had broken me down to where I couldn't take it anymore. I bawled my eyes out to men I'd never met because I could no longer believe that people didn't care about me. I was suicidal given the circumstances, but I was suicidal before I ever got caught smoking. The only reason I smoked was because I didn't want to be suicidal. A 51 year old woman tells me at this place that she, "Would be surprised if I never heard of you again. I stayed at Emerald Coast Behavioral Health (This is when I called you in 2017) and I learned an entirely different way of living. I was told that I have Bipolar Disorder I, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety, Osteochrondroma in the left knee. I was told a handful of tools to help myself become a better person. I then went to restriction, which is where a person is constantly monitoring me while I do nothing but work and survive. I did that for forty five days which dragged forever. I left. I stayed with my dad and I had a good first month out of the Navy. I was happy. I was excited and nervous and terrified. I smoked SO much more weed. I drank SO much more booze. And cigarettes. I was helping my dad build a deck in the backyard. My car was repossessed about one and one half months after getting out. I had nothing. I started working under the table as a contractor for a few months, but my mom and I got into a fight and I was kicked out of the house for the second and last time of my life. I moved in and slept on a friends floor. He had a bum knee from a recent surgery and so I quasi-morphed into his at-home nurse. Started doing dabs and malt liquor with friends. Eating popcorn for food, drawing outside for five hours, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. I did this for a month until my depression (booze) had become evil. I tried hanging myself on a dog line and I had to leave their house.. I stayed with my dude Sam for a few days and then moved in with my brother for a day. I feel nothing for him anymore, and so I really dont want to elaborate about this because he will always be a peace of shit. I went to a music festival that got shutdown by a hurricane. I got to do LSD/blow/weed for free because I was working security and I have worked with the team before. Hell, the guy in charge personally handed me $275 because of how badass of a watchstander I am. I then migrated to Asheville, North Carolina where my eyes were opened to the world we live in. And how great a thing love is, Nicole Renee Gable. But after this, I really had nowhere to go. That is until I remembered that I knew a guy from when I was in Japan.. We only ever really interacted in the smokepits. After he found out I had been sleeping on the floor of my friends house, he told me that if I was ever in South Carolina that he had a guest bedroom waiting for me. I lived with him and his wife and their son while I got a job as a forklift driver at BMW. I got another car (since been repossessed, not as debilitating for me now). I moved out and lived with a dude that I thought was a friend. He ended up being a real twat of a motherfucker. Before I knew he was a real dullard, I left BMW about two weeks of me living with him. It was too military.A HUGE millitary-industrial complex. He fucked me over so that I had nowhere to go and I didnt have a job. He left. I had the apartment by myself. It was a blur of events past that. Between the weed, the booze and the mental health issues, I am grateful to be writing this. This guy's stripper girlfriend (Her name is Sam and she's nice as well as bananas) came to find me in a fucked up mess of my own doing at the apartment. After I came to, she and I decided that I needed to check myself into a mental health center. With no insurance. I had only a few boxes of stuff (I drove down to Florida at one point to get my shit). After I was in for a week (I know what I'm about and the solutions I need), I got a job working as a cook in a strip club. The BEST job I ever had because I actually made some good money. (30 girls dancing in one night with $5 tips to me is a lot of moolah) However, I didnt make enough money to stay. I only made enough money to leave. I bought two edibles and had a nice relaxing eight hour drive to a friend's house in Pennsacola We had a personal falling out/disagreement. I worked as a line cook at Slimz at the Al Fresco in Pensacola. I saved up money to come out to California. I'm with one of my few best friends, Tymothy. Upon my arrival here, my car was repossessed (I bought in South Carolina, which is fucking crazy that they found me). My life is coming together though, Nicole. I am generally happy in my day to day lifestyle. I'm hoping to be officially retired from working for the rest of my life within this next year. It turns out that there was A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE scandal in the Navy and I'm going to use my genius mind to collect the disability that I deserve. Monthly, that payment could land anywhere between $800-2900.. For the rest of my life. I have an amazing home loan that I will get to use once the ball has begun rolling. Nicole, I really dont think I love you as much as I should have and that bothers me. Not in a negative way, at all. It makes me feel like I need to write this email to you. Like I owe you more for what you gave me, Nicole Gable. You might not see it, Nicole. The only reason I ever went along with the mental health is so that we could have a healthy relationship together. Whatever that even fucking means as far as the definition goes. Hell, for all I know, you could be seriously dead or worse. You could be dating somebody.. 😝 I havent dated anyone quite seriously. I've been on a couple of dates here and there, but I just didn't/don't care. I hope that all of these women find someone that loves them as much as I know I can love you someday, if you could ever trust me... If you're with someone, I seriously hope they love you as much as space-time can hold matter and energy and light and dark matter. The greatest lesson I have learned since we spoke last is that we will live our lives from the shades of fear and the radiations of love. I love and accept myself now. I love myself exactly how you once loved me. I don't know where on this rock you are, but if you'd like to never have to work again, please reach out to me. I would be honored, if you would ever be willing. It's still going to be a few months, so you can think about this for awhile..? If you ever wanted to live in California with me someday, I mean. Hell, we could be roomates. You could wear chastity belts and Amish outfits all year round . I don't know anything.. I hope that this email finds you well. I hope it has given you smiles. I hope you have a blessed day. [Update]  It is now the year 2020.  I am.  The world is the world. Hell is hell.  We’re all stuck on a rock in the middle of nowhere.  If there’s someone reading this, be aware: you do not exist. This is my spaceship.