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#because I'm awkward and weird
cerealforkart · 1 year
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Thank you so much everyone for the sketch requests! And super thanks to everyone I saw hanging around RTX! It was great to see so many Dad fans, hope everyone had fun!
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gummi-ships · 10 months
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Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Traverse Town
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mic-check-stims · 4 months
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Walkshipping board for that one anon from forever ago who asked about my ships
X-X X-X X-X
#i call i walkshipping because i'm pretty sure their only interaction together was walking bakura home#the dynamic to me is unrequited crush -> friends -> fake dating -> possible qpr -> crush x2 combo -> awkward maybe-kinda-unofficial-polycul#i think since mihos crush on bakura was solely aesthetic‚ it'd start to fade once she started actually viewing him as a friend#and i think once that happened and bakura got more comfortable they would end up hanging out a lot#i think miho would love tabletop games (you cant convince me her enjoyment of capsulemon didn't just come from rping with the pieces)#and her immunity to traditionally scary things means bakura could get her into a lot of his other interests as well#anyway i like the idea that eventually they decide to fake date each other purely to get the girls to leave bakura's demi ass alone#which in turns leads to honda third wheeling them a lot bc 'ur just fake dating right ur not gonna catch actual feelings right'#the idea of this going anywhere romantic hinges on my belief that finding out abt mihos weird strange interests makes him even more into he#and that realizing how many traits she shares with bakura is‚ unfortunately for him‚ how he finds out he might in fact be bi#so now he's still desperately trying to romance miho AND coming to terms with the idea that his jealousy of bakura might have deeper origin#meanwhile the two are like 'hey honda likes us isnt that cute. wanna see how many trinkets we can get him to buy us'#<- (i warned you. i warned you about the extreme yapping that came with this)#moodboard#yugioh#yugioh s0#miho nosaka#honda hiroto#ryo bakura#ryou bakura#tristan taylor#walkshipping#hands#dice#flowers#planchette#ouija board#jewelry#puzzle
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zebratimw · 1 year
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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hood-ex · 1 year
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I have seen you talking about Dick & Dami's relationship and Dick & Tim as well,but what are your takes on Dick and Jason actually?
Like how you wish their relationship should be portrayed today and where are them missing when it comes to making those two acting like siblings?
Do you think in the past their dynamic was better?
How Dick views Jason and how Jason views Dick?
This is difficult to answer because there are like 8 different stages to Dick and Jason's relationship with various dynamics. They also view each other a bit differently depending on which stage we're talking about.
The way I would like their relationship to be portrayed today isn’t necessarily possible thanks to Jason’s integration into the family and acceptance of the no killing moral code. For me, their ideal dynamic is portrayed in Outsiders #44-46. And I know people are gonna find that regressive as hell but, tbh, that dynamic is far more interesting than the kinda awkward thing they have going on now.
Although, I don't mind that they acknowledge their brotherhood in a serious manner now. Like before they'd kinda be like, "Eh... I mean... we were adopted from the same guy but... brothers? Eh..." And now they're more firmly in the, "We're brothers," camp. So that development is interesting.
Character progression wise, it wouldn't feel right for for them to be super close in the way that, say, Dick and Tim are (unless we saw a lot of trust and relationship building between them), but at the same time, there is part of me that kind of wants them to have that older sibling bond (except Jason is closer in age to Tim than he is to Dick sooo actually let's just leave older sibling things to Dick and Cass... not that Cass is much older than Jason though so LOL this is why Dick has to lone the oldest sibling thing by himself... which is funny because Dick is technically no longer the oldest sibling, he's a baby brother now... except Dick and Melinda's relationship really hasn't progressed much sooo you could say they share blood but don't consider each other family yet, in which case, Dick is still the oldest... I mean, regardless, Dick is the oldest sibling of the Waynes... god why did they have to make all of this so difficult 😫).
#jason's like blerghhh dad always loved you best. but also hey we should work together bc you're a killer like me#and then jason's also like hey dick you were the most amazing thing i've ever seen and idk you're cool but i won't say that to you#and then he's also like hey dick i've got girl advice for you and i also need your opinion on my hair. oh now bane is trying to kill us#and then he's also like oh you got amnesia? i don't give a fuck about you and maybe i'll kill you#and he's also like oh you trust me? okay well... we're brothers and i'm gonna save you#and then dick's like oh hey kid call me if you need me. oh you died? i am literally devastated i'm so sorry#and he's also like wow you're very good at what you do but i don't trust you... okay but i trust the intel you're giving me sooo....#and then he's like why the fuck are you dressing like me and killing people?? quit doing stupid shit!!#and then he's like jason what the fuck are you doing--let me help you!!#and then he's like kinda indifferent to jason but jason is still Ugh this family is stupid why am i here#and then dick's like ofc i'm gonna come help you if you need me but also this is awkward af and things are weird between us so bye#except not bye because i'm staying here to help you and your team#and then dick's like i'm being controlled by joker so i'm gonna kill yoooou#and then he's like eh i trust you and i'm gonna help you bc we're brothers but you literally wrecked bruce's car you numbskull#and then he's like you're doing dumb shit and i have to take you down but oh thanks for not letting the train kill me#and then they're both like meh we're doing shit w the batfam even though neither of us should be here rn#and yeah that's how it goes. that's. literally it. writers cannot keep their relationship consistent in the long term#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#relationship analysis#anon
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romance-rambles · 5 months
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godheim clarence | because it's you
On a seemingly normal day, as he's braiding your hair in the morning, your husband asks you if he should cut his hair. You try to be brave about it.
1.6k, post-clarence epilogue, misunderstandings + fluff, reader is mc, series: none
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"SHALL I CUT MY HAIR short too?"
You register your husband's words as a joke at first. Why would you not? It flows so seamlessly from your own, after all—about how he might actually thank you for freeing up his time in the mornings if you chop off your long hair.
You know full well Clarence will not.
It is not enough to prevent you from chasing after your favorite kind of high. The one where he huffs exasperatedly and tells you as much, as a lovely but faint scarlet hue spreads across his cheek. The one that leaves you with the singleminded desire to kiss him, which you waste no time in doing—because you can.
So, expecting to see a hint of mirth in his blue eyes, you roll your eyes and watch him through the vanity's mirror with an unfaltering grin.
There is none.
Instead, the mirror reflects only the almost clumsy seriousness you've come to expect in his endeavors to prove himself worthy of being your husband. It is both flattering and worrying.
And sometimes, it makes you wonder if you were too harsh on him in the early days of your time together in the void, when you demanded apology after apology from him. Then, you remember that he's the same man who catches fishes only to free them in the end—and that this is simply sort of endearing idiot he is.
It helps immensely.
"Would you like to?" you ask carefully, concealing your silent insults with a half-awkward smile.
You would not like him to.
But it is rare for Clarence to express an interest in his appearance outside of what you make of it. His most frequently worn coat is the one you once complimented him, under a brightly-lit street lamp as he wrapped his scarf around you instead. He always buys the same fragrance, and only when it runs out, with a polite explanation of My wife likes this one the most that drives most merchants mad.
The only response he's ever offered when shopping for clothes is: If you like it, I'm fine with wearing it.
Biting back a scowl, you add, "I think you'd look good with short hair."
Of course he would. Even putting aside his hairstyle when he was younger, your husband is handsome enough to pull anything off.
You are, of course, very biased—it's an accusation you've never tried to deny.
"I see." With a pleased hum, Clarence ties off your braid. "Then I'll pick out a date. Would you like to come along?"
He's careful to adjust the hair tie first, concealing any stubborn tufts hair poking through between the gaps before he reaches for your usual red ribbon. Then, with a practiced ease that comes only with years' worth of repetition, he loops it through the hair tie and twists into a proper bow.
Today, you cannot find it in yourself to admire his careful movements through the mirror.
"I'm never going to hear the end of it if I do that," you answer, shuddering a little at the thought. The people at this village are mostly kind, but a few of the louder ones tend to comment on Clarence's tendencies a bit too frequently for your liking. "You remember what happened last time, don't you?"
Your fingers traverse down the full length of your neatly-braided hair to pull it over your shoulder. Their grasp on the end of it lasts for only a second before your hand falls to the edge of your stool. Gulping, you swivel around and soon find yourself properly face to face with your husband.
He smiles faintly. "In a sense, they weren't wrong."
To properly hold onto his face, you have to scoot closer to the edge. Clarence bends down slightly, further easing the burden on your arms. Your eyes narrow fondly at him before you ruin the moment by smushing his cheeks.
"They were insulting you," you correct him, indignation fueling your flat tone. "I'd say they were very wrong."
His expression grows helpless and fond. Wrapping his hands around your own, he settles down onto the hardwood floor. In doing so, he ignores your chiding entirely; instead, he looks at you with a hint of reverence in his gaze.
"Perhaps," Clarence agrees softly. "I've heard worse."
Inhaling sharply, you press your foreheads together. When you next speak up, your tone is softer. "Do you have a cut in mind?"
"The same as it was when I was younger, I suppose," he says, sounding a bit uncertain.
You do your best approximation of a nod. You're not entirely certain what brought this on, but that won't stop you from being the most supportive wife to ever be supportive. As you squeeze his hands gently, you hope he can sense your resolve.
"Alright," you say, a bit forcefully, as you press a kiss to his forehead. "—now get off the floor. It's my turn to do your hair."
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IT'S WHEN YOU'RE CAREFULLY UNTANGLING your braid at night that you remember the conversation from that morning.
"Did you decide on a date?" you ask curiously.
Clarence hums. "I didn't get the chance to quite yet."
He's watching you from his side of the bed, both hands occupied by a book he stopped reading the moment you walked in after your nighttime routine. When you shake your hair back to normal and settle under the blankets, he wordlessly turns the lamps off, with only a flick of his hand.
Accepting his answer, you snuggle up against his chest, fully intent on going to sleep—
Except you can't.
Curiosity nags at you, offering you the same question over and over again in the hopes that you'll break. And break you do as you call out your husband's name.
You can't quite make out what his expression is, but you know he isn't asleep. It's only been a few years—just a little over a decade, to be precise—since they've reunited. Adjusting to a life within the bounds of time, you know, takes some time, especially for someone like Clarence who had seemingly outgrown the need to sleep even before he entered the nothingness.
"Clarence," you whisper, "what made you want to cut your hair?"
For a moment, he remains silent. You can hear his beating heart, and that is enough to let you know that he's flustered.
"Clarence?"
"You said I looked very handsome," he says finally. "The other day."
Upon hearing those words, your mind offers you nothing noteworthy. To you, calling your husband handsome is no different making sure your heart's intact. You think you might actually die if you don't tell him, but you haven't tested it before.
Your heart, however, is filled to the brim with affection for this man, the one you've searched nearly your entire life for.
Even if you do want to throttle him a little bit.
"You'll have to be more specific, dear," you tell him, gently touching his cheek. He's warm, you think. You're tempted to turn the lights back on. "I'm sure I say that every day. And why would that make you want to cut your hair?"
Clearing his throat, he adds, "To be more specific, you didn't say it to me necessarily. You were—" Clarence pauses, a hint of uncertainty to his next words. "—talking about my younger self."
Oh.
The gears in your head start to turn. Now, you can faintly recall the memory of you waxing poetically about the man whose image remains in use on one of the most popular and frequently sold-out stamps even now, centuries later. Mostly, you remember smiling through a comment about how carefully you must've chosen your husband—as if she hadn't pressured into picking a man other than your husband to gush about.
You would've chosen the Archmage who seemingly had no relation to your husband regardless, but it would've been nice to know ahead of time.
Because you do have eyes, Eliza. That's how you know there isn't a man alive that's more attractive than Clarence.
Still, there hadn't been any deeper meaning when you chose his younger self specifically. There'd been a stamp nearby and you'd used it as a reference, in the hopes that it would help the other ladies downplay your incredible knowledge of his features.
You're almost certain they think you're deranged.
"Clarence." You giggle, suddenly amused. "Clarence. You look very handsome today."
Clumsily, you press a loving kiss to his forehead. Then, to the mole under his eye, to the tip of his nose, to his other cheek, until finally, you kiss him on the lips. At some point, while you're busy being productive, he goes from laying on his side to laying on his back.
"What brought this on?"
He sounds bewildered. You think it's cute.
After taking a moment to compose yourself, you begin to explain. Throughout, he's mostly silent, save for the occasional acknowledgement. Still, you don't have to worry about whether he's listening or not.
Until the very end, his hands—still wrapped around you—give him away.
"I like your long hair just as much, because—" You give him another peck on the lips. "—I love you. No matter what, you're always the best-looking man in the room."
Clarence wastes no time in answering you, though he very nearly chokes on his words. "And I...you."
"Good." Feeling satisfied, you rest your head against his chest. "Do you still want to cut your hair? ...Clarence?"
"I think," he says, clearing his throat. "It's fine the way it is."
You don't try to point out why.
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eerna · 8 months
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reading A Fragile Enchantment bc I heard lots of good about the author and the story sounded fun but what I got instead is PG Bridgerton, even including a ???????? oppression story. @ the MC why tf are we trying to dismantle the uprising of the downtrodden just so we can smooch their oppressors
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shalom-iamcominghome · 2 months
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Is it just me or does anyone else have the masculine urge to drop everything and become an ultra orthodox chossid who stays entirely in the ultra orthodox world ?? Im a convert and a trans male so the likelihood of that ever happening is slim but it’s nice to daydream 🙃
Honestly yeah 🥲
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detroitbecomeonline · 2 years
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i just thought of the stupidest headcanon ever: deviant connor now attempts to greet hank with a hug every time ever since the chicken feed hug. he doesn't care. he's a deviant he can do what he wants. and if that means he opens his arms up for hank in the office and hank has to embarrassingly reject and swerve out the way and then get hugged from behind and then push him away-- lmao
second stupid headcanon: connor turns into a hugger after the chicken feed and he attempts to hug everyone instead of a handshake because hand = android greeting and hug = human greeting. he saw some teenage girls on the street hug each other why can't he do it. "captain fowler you wanted to speak with me?" leans in for a hug
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snobgoblin · 1 month
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sometimes I'm afraid of coming across as concieted when I prioritize/celebrate myself but it took such a long time and so much hard work to get to that point you know what I mean. "I think I have a nice body" was once "I can't stand being in my body and I would do anything to change it or be anyone else" and "I'm excited for my birthday" was once "I don't see the point in celebrating my birth if I don't like being alive and nobody else wants me here" you know and I'm proud of that progress
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giantkillerjack · 4 months
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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ace-and-sleepdeprived · 9 months
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does anyone else just daydream about your ocs being friends with other people's ocs?
just me?
okay.
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sysig · 8 months
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How is skeleton shaped (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Papyrus#Sans#Some redraws! I just don't feel like scanning the originals so they'll stay contextless for now lol#I apparently used to draw Papyrus' scarf/cape with a little squiggly bit down the middle of his chest as well :0 I think it looks silly now#The donk-pecks I was talking about! :D Give your sibling a family kiss ♪ As much as skeletons can anyhow lol#Papyrus was being silly and then leaned down fully expecting it lol - another thing smol and I do a lot haha#Sometimes doing the cat thing of headbutting for attention lol#Sad skele doodles! Oh no! D: Best boy is the saddest around </3#I used to draw Papyrus' mouth as having teeth behind his teeth so I gave it another go - I think I'm good on it now lol I like his weird jaw#I don't know if I based the original eye-glows off anything specific :0 I wasn't as particular about my notes back then haha#He is still very fun to draw crying tho poor lad :')#Originally the second one of Papyrus with his eyes glowing had Sans comforting him with a forehead donk - even in this redraw!#But I got the angle wrong so I removed him and then had brainworms about it lol#Something something the player (the artist) controlling the appearance/experience and moving the pieces (the characters) around as they like#I already know all that! I've been metaphorically playing with dolls for years years years! It just never stops being weird#It's like being aware of my own breathing and blinking - it's ''natural'' and normal and there's obviously nothing wrong with it lol#There's just a level of awkward....Feeling surrounding awareness lol - intentionality! It's not like I can stop just because I'm aware of it#It's just so whimsical /neutral - if Sans had turned out how I wanted him to he'd be there comforting his brother! But because I...#As stated I have brainworms please excuse me lol#The level of weird feels between the various mediums is really interesting to me tho :) Being a player or reader or watcher or artist!#They all feel different - more or less in control of what happens to them and yet never fully without culpability hehe#Obviously as an artist it feels the most in control - even to my own empathetic detriment! (It's not that serious lol)#The difference between being a player and a reader is a lot closer than being a watcher tho imo it's like a spectrum of responsibility#Though that's kinda also just how I feel about media consumption in general lol - I guess one of those is technically media production#Anyway! Lol#I don't know where I got the idea that his hoodie is two-tone other than the separation of his pockets?#It is a cute design! Dunno if I'll keep it going forward just for convenience but I'm not mad about it lol
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dude-iloveu · 15 days
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i don't want to participate in fandom but i do like interacting with people but i am so so scared whenever i start making and sharing stuff about a new interest.
as if the 4 people in the fandom gonna turn me into mush or something lol
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mayomkun · 23 days
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Finally done with teen wolf rewatch. Phew
#took me like 3 months#thought I was gonna watch a few eisodes I like because I was feeling nostalgic one evening now I finished the whole thing lol#not the movie tho I don't vibe with it#one of a few things I noticed is that scott smiles fondly at stiles' remarks a lot :')#anyway thinking about how each character change along the way#lydia is like a completely different character from the first seasons#since I'm biased I love the dynamic change with scott and stiles#like they kinda swapped roles a bit but still remain themselves??#scott develops from an awkward teen only caring about living normal life when he has more people to protect and learning to become a leader#he's almost unrecognizable from the first ep too#for stiles. he has character development of course but I think he himself hasn't changed much#even if he said they're not kids running in the woods anymore#he's still the mischievous sarcastic lil guy we know showing up at scott's house. running around looking for trouble & helping people#he always has that dark & anxious side#it's us that know more and more about different sides of him as the story goes on#from the start it's just the two of them against the world. now they're holding hands with their friends facing the world#anyway this show did get a little weird and inconsistent which is not surprising consider how long it went#the scripts also revolve around actor/actress availability also#so many characters with interesting dynamic what wasn't given time to explore#free real estate for us fans
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dazzlerazz · 9 months
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I should play CF again with a fresh clear head just to see if I actually like it without fandom bullshit clouding my mind
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