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chrysalis-the-butterfly · 8 months ago

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What I Mean When I Say, "I Ship Huskerdust"

When I say, "I ship Huskerdust," I don't mean that I think it would be a perfect example of a healthy relationship. Because it wouldn't be.

They've both got issues that they would need to work through if they wanted their relationship to succeed.

On Angel's side, there's the fact that his prior interactions with Husk basically consisted of him flirting with Husk, and Husk making it clear that he wasn't interested, and Angel ignoring that and doing it again. That's harassment.

Yes, Angel stops doing it after Episode 4, but he never explicitly apologises for it. That was a missed opportunity, in my opinion. It was a change for the show to say loudly and clearly, "Hey, trauma sucks, we get that, but it's not an excuse to treat people badly yourself. You grow by owning up to your mistakes and trying to be better than the person who hurt you."

Speaking of trauma...

Angel is being abused by Valentino and exploited in the porn industry. That's not a personal failing. It's not Angel's fault. But it has affected him deeply, and it's something that he and Husk would need to work through.

It's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows. Angel will cry, Angel will get angry, Angel will lash out. He will behave inappropriately, and he will keep being hypersexual because he knows how to do it and sometimes it feels like the safest option. And he will have no idea how to just rest with a loved one and trust them. So Husk will need to be the bigger person and take all the ups and downs and keep loving Angel through the dark days.

But I don't know if Husk has what it takes to do that.

That leads me nicely onto the issues on Husk's side. For starters, there's his judgemental attitude. He's a gambler, and therefore believes he can read people and know everything about them. Angel's "It's not an act!" outburst shakes Husk and makes him realise that he didn't really know what was going on.

But even after that, Husk is still judging Angel. It happens in Episode 6, when Angel is offered drugs by Cherri Bomb and Husk says, "Look, you wanna fuck up all your progress, be my guest. I just ... I just thought you were better than that."

Addicts can relapse if they go back to their old environments and old relationships. It happens. And it's probably not a good idea to be so condemnatory about it.

Can you imagine what Husk's reaction would be if Angel really did relapse? Would Angel feel safe opening up to Husk again if he knew how badly Husk could take it?

Sometimes, it seems as though Husk puts Angel on a pedestal. In Episode 8, when he tells Angel, "I guess you have changed," Angel doesn't look convinced, instead changing the subject. Husk sees Angel as better than Angel thinks he is.

And that goes hand-in-hand with when he was judging Angel more harshly in earlier episodes. Husk applies higher standards to Angel.

I think part of the reason why Husk is so hard on Angel is because Husk sees something in Angel that he doesn't see in himself - youth and potential. Husk has made it clear that he isn't trying to get into Heaven. He probably doesn't think he deserves it. That's why he told Angel not to look for answers to problems at the bottom of a bottle, but continued to drink himself.

My theory is that Husk is working on Angel because he finds it easier than working on himself.

It's much easier to judge and boss around others than to acknowledge and rectify your own flaws. To borrow a metaphor from Jesus Christ himself, Husk is trying to take specks of sawdust out of Angel's eye while he's still got plenty of planks in his own eye.

One of those planks being his complicity in the Overlord system.

Yes, I should probably mention that Husk used to be an Overlord. He used to participate in the very system that is now trapping and torturing Angel.

And he gambled with the souls that he owned! He put their afterlives at stake! Can you imagine being owned by Husk, thinking you knew where you stood, and then waking up one day to be told that you were now owned by someone else? Potentially someone as bad as Valentino?

(Now, I don't think Husk ever actually played a game with Valentino, given that he can't seem to remember Val's name in Episode 6, but still, the implications are horrifying.)

Angel didn't have too big a reaction when Husk opened up about his past. But that's probably because he was still reeling a bit from his own outburst. Once it had sunk in, how did he feel?

How can Angel feel safe and loved around someone who used to own souls and gamble with them carelessly? Someone who apparently still has his Overlord powers? Someone who could turn into yet another Valentino in the wrong circumstances?

How can a romance work?

Can a romance work?

Despite all of that?!

No, when I say, "I ship Huskerdust," I don't mean, "I think they're fluffy and adorable and 100% unproblematic." I mean, "Huskerdust contains interesting dynamics that are fun to explore." There's something about their interactions that I enjoy.

And Huskerdust could be a good way for the cartoon to dive into its themes of redemption and second changes.

Husk could change Angel for the better. We can see that, after Episode 4, Angel is willing to be more honest about what he's going through. He actually tells Niffty about the gruelling 16-hour shift Valentino put him through, instead of trying to pretend he's been all right.

If they became an official couple, Husk could show Angel what it's like to have someone genuinely care for him and his wellbeing, not just use him for money-making or self-gratification. Since Husk isn't interested in Angel's hypersexual porn star persona, it would be a chance for Angel to take the time to figure out who he (Anthony?) really is.

Angel could change Husk for the better, too. Other Tumblr bloggers have pointed out that Husk seemed to be drinking a little less after Episode 4. Perhaps watching Angel attempting self-improvement encouraged Husk to give it a go as well, albeit in a more low-key way.

And if Husk was the one who got Angel out of his contract with Valentino, that would be a great culmination of his character arc. It would be his own personal redemption for participating in the cruel Overlord system, because he'd be freeing someone from an Overlord's control. He'd be correcting his past mistakes. I for one would love to see that in a future season.

That is what I mean when I say "I ship Huskerdust."

TL;DR Angel and Husk are not perfect people, not by a long shot - but they could be perfect for each other.

#hazbin hotel #angel dust #anthony hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel anthony #husk hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #cherri bomb #niffty #sir pentious

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aro-culture-is · 11 days ago

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aro culture is hating on the "Just Roommates™" that everyone says and everyone is kinda forcing some unlabeled intimacy to to have a label but they jokingly say JUST ROOMMATES and giggle like it's a codename for "theyre romantically doing things they just dont know it".

Why should everything have a romantic implication im tired of this it literally takes my two brain cells gazillion laps to 'read between the lines' i just wanna automatically say yea this is platonic and then not give a flying fuck Like EVER

also, speaking as someone in their mid 20s? roommates getting together ends so badly like. 90+% of the time. generally, also, people living with someone they've been together with for <1 year. it's not that it can't work out, but... in the early stages of a romantic relationship, you gotta make sure you're healthy both with and without each other. living together is not conducive to that. the main two elements to that, in my brain at least are: healthy with each other = not codependent, and without each other = have an external social network to fall back on.

an alternate thought from a different alter: I also think it's interesting how domesticity is seen as romantic, and not familial by so many. I wonder what cultural elements play into that, because I'm not sure if it's part of amatonormativity, part of the nuclear family shitshow, or what. I might bring that up at an irl a-spec group we go to this week and see what the history prof who loves to tell us her knowledge on such subjects has to say about that.

#aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod axel #and:#mod rust

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viiiiiiiiiin · 9 months ago

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Okay so can I request zero overhearing that his crushes favorite color is green (bonus it if they describe a shade that’s close to his hair )

50 Shades of Green: Zoro x Reader

Includes: Roronoa Zoro , GN Reader

A / N: I assumed you meant Zoro lol. This is such a cute idea for a scenario ! I Hope you enjoy <3. I hope this is up to your standards !! Feel free to tell me in my AMA if you want me to redo this <33

It was a bright day , a day of relaxation. Everyone on the Sunny took this opportunity to take a break and enjoy themselves. Rather it be playing tag on the deck , listening to Brook play some beautiful tunes , or even just reading / tending to the garden. Everyone was being themselves and having fun. It was quite the break from the massive battles they've had recently.

You sat next to Nami , who was tending to her tangerines. Behind you , Robin sat reading her book. You and Nami had been chatting happily for what felt like hours. Robin , though she was reading , listened and observed everything to two of you were saying. She was ever observant , even if she was on break.

"Hey , I'll be back. I'm gonna go see if Sanji would mind making me something to drink." You said , excusing yourself from the 2 women. They nodded and waved to you as your form retreated from their vision.

As you jumped down to the kitchen , you noticed the two who normally fight . . . Well , fighting. The blonde haired cook seemed to be enraged about something while the moss headed swordsman just sarcastically commented back and basically brushed off the cook's complaints.

That swordsman. The very one that lacks a sense of direction in a literal and figurative sense. You felt your heart flutter as your eyes trailed to him. You shook your head and brushed pass them to get into the kitchen.

Though you didn't know it , Zoro's eyes followed you as the door shut behind your body. You walked over to the fridge and stared at all of your selections. As you sighed and closed the fridge , the door to the kitchen reopened. You glanced over to see who was coming in and noticed the cook. Sanji had apparently stopped arguing with Zoro and came to attend to your needs.

"What would you like , Reader ?" He asked with a smile on his face. Even if it was near dinner time , it was clear he didn't mind tending to his crewmates' needs. You smiled back at him and leaned against the counter.

"Are you able to make a drink for me ? I'm not sure exactly what I want yet. Or maybe a snack , if that's not too much to ask for." You trailed off as your mind trailed back to its thoughts.

"Of course. How about a vol - au - vent ?" He asked as he he began to take out the pastry from a sealed container. "I made some earlier for Nami and Robin , but they told me they weren't hungry." He shrugged and placed it on the counter for you.

"Thank you , Sanji." You bowed your head lightly and took one of the treats from the tray. You resealed the container and walked out of the kitchen.

Somewhere in the time that you had been inside , your ship had landed on an island. You looked at the gorgeous tree filled island in awe. It was lush with fresh vegetation and had many beautiful flowers. You've seen many different islands in the New World , but this had to be one of the nicer ones.

"Alright. I want Chopper , Usopp , and . . sadly . . . Luffy . . To go into town. Robin , I'd like you to go with them. We need you 4 to pick up some herbs for me and Chopper. Sanji , I want you and Brook to go stock up on food supplies. And Franky , you go get materials to repair the ship and for whatever else." Nami directed , pointing those people in the directions they were supposed to go. As she spoke , the groups filed out so they could get their job done as quickly as possible. It was hard to tell if it was because they wanted to go back to the sea or if they didn't wanna see Nami angry. Most likely the latter , you thought.

"What about me and Zoro ?" You questioned as you took a final bite of the tasty hollow treat Sanji had made. "I want you 2 to watch the ship. I'm going onto the island to chart it." She responded , picking up some paper and pens. Before either of you could say anything , she walked off of the ship.

You stood there , staring at the place the ginger once was. You blinked and turned your attention to Zoro , who seemed to be in the same boat as you. You wouldn't admit it , but you were happy to be alone with him.

You stood there , collecting your thoughts. While you stood like a statue , the Swordsman went off to work out. You shook your head violently and whipped your head around to find him. There he was , in all his muscular glory , at the end of the ship with a comically large weight in his hands. He had his coat discarded and he was thrusting the weight forwards and back onto his shoulder in a slicing like motion.

You couldn't help but stare. Everything about how he just so calmly lifted what you assumed to be over 400ibs surprised you. Instead of staring , you decided to go into the crows nest to keep a lookout for any enemies or your crewmates.

---

A few hours had passed by without either of you speaking to one another. The ship was in a comfortable silence , engulfing the both of you as you did separate things. You were bored sitting by yourself , if you were being honest. You were often fidgety and lost in thought instead of looking out. Of course , observation haki helped out with sensing living things but you didn't use it often.

Just as you were about to take a nap , you noticed a bag bobbing around the Sunny. You narrowed your eyes to see who it was and didn't see anyone. That was until you saw Luffy and Robin. You assumed it was either Chopper or Usopp. You smiled softly and walked down from your previous place.

You watched as the lump ran up to you. "Reader ! I got you something ! I thought it was your favorite color." The little reindeer doctor said excitedly as he ran up to you. He handed you a bag that was pink. Not your favorite color , but you liked his thought.

"I appreciate your gesture , Chopper. My favorite color isn't pink , though." You responded , putting the bag on your right side. You could definitely put your weapons and stuff in it. "Oh ! What's your favorite color then ?" He tilted his head with an adorable look on his face.

"Green , actually. I'd say a minty - moss green ? It's just really nice , in my opinion." You explained with a smile on your [shape] face. You heard a noise of surprise behind you and you turned. You didn't expect to have your [color] colored eyes meet with one brown one. Your face lit up.

"Greenisaprettycolorididntmeanitlikethat !" You sputtered out , hiding your face from his confusing stare. You couldn't tell if he was mad at you , if you were being honest.

"Green is a nice color , isn't it ?" Zoro mocked , laughing heartily. You were EXTREMELY embarrassed. Though , you didn't notice the red on his cheeks as well.

Chopper and Usopp laughed at your misery. They were even on the floor , about dying at that point. "I just didn't expect you to be into that color of green." He shrugged and smiled smugly at you. He turned and walked away from the 3 of you , cheeks reddening further.

Though you didn't know it , your words stuck in his head. It repeated like a broken record. He didn't understand why , but he liked the thought of it. Maybe his feelings for you grew , but he didn't know that. Maybe he should talk to Robin or Chopper about it. For now , he would sit and think about you. Even at night.

#one piece #op #reader insert #x reader #gender neutral reader #gender neutral y/n #one piece x you #fluff #one piece strawhats #straw hat pirates #roronoa zoro x reader #one piece zoro #zoro x reader #roronoa zoro #zoro #headcanon #scenarios #vixenwrites #pirate hunter zoro

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sstardustt3 · 6 months ago

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Johnny cade headcannonsss

Authors notes- um so my writers block is gone (yipeee) and I decided that from now on this is just going to be a general writing account instead of something focused exclusively on one fandom (I'm still gonna do creepypasta stuff dw) but I didn't realize how much writing for one singular thing burns the fuck out of you so I'm doing this because it's much more easier and I'm gonna upload more because I'm on summer break. Anyways I'm on an outsiders kick rn so this is the result of it

tags/ warnings- mentions of abuse, johnny being a gossip whore, angst, fluff, johnny thinking negatively about himself, brief mention of romance, someone please give him a hug-

-Johnny is really fucking strong despite looking kinda scrawny but he believes no one when they tell him this (he thinks they're just trying to make him more confidant)

-If he did have a s/o then nine times out of then they've asked him to carry them everywhere

-he hates physical contact he can't stand it especially if he's not ready for it like if you hug him from behind. mostly because everytime someone touches him it's to hurt him but also another is because he just hates being surprised

-his body is so unbelievably cold all the time that even if there was a heat wave in the area at like 120*f he would still feel like he's on the brink of dying from hypothermia

-something he picked up from Dally is being rude to people for like no reason he doesn't even do it intentionally he just kinda says the most outlandish rude shit about people and does not even realize it

-adding onto things he's picked up from hanging with dally is how to talk to girls, contrary to popular belief he's actually not (completely) clueless with girls and he can sweet talk if he really wants to (he starts off stumbling like an idiot though)

-he's failling a good percentage of his classes for half the year because he figured that he wasn't gonna go far in life even if he didn't end up dead by 18 and his parents don't care about him enough to check his report cards

-at the end of the year the week before you can't do any more retakes and turn in late work he'll just do everything in one go because he doesn't really wanna be held back (he ends up passing with b's and c's)

-he's actually really good at making shit he has a drawer full of small little trinkets he's made in his spare time

-he learned how to make things to pass the time because before the gang he really didn't have friends and he didn't have a good excuse to go out anyway so he just locked himself in his room and began making things out of paper and rearranging action figures he stole from the junkyard or from second-hand stores

-more than half of his creations look like the shit Sid from toy story made

-he's so oblivous when people like him it's ridiculous and when he does realize they like him he just kinda is like "oh...oh...OH?!!!"

-even when he does like them back his first instance is to distance himself from them he thinks it's something that'll like pass

-he's dyslexic which is why he always makes Ponyboy do his English homework and read his homework to him in general

-adding onto the headcanon about him being cold all the time, for that very reason you'll never catch him out of him dead out of his jacket (well I guess that's not true bc he died without it but wtv)

-another reason is that he has a lot of scarring and bruises from his parents that he hates seeing

-dally was the first person to meet Johnny and he was kinda like "damn look at that little possum...it's coming home with me" and when he asked Johnny his name he had mumbled it so when he said it it sounded like Johnny cakes so for like half a year dally called him that before randomly correcting him

"yeah, so johnny cakes here-"

"Johnny Cade."

"huh? What you say, little man?"

"My name's Johnny Cade, not Johnny Cakes."

"..."

"are you serious-"

-Johnny's a gossip whore whether he admits it or not. the perks of being quiet and going unnoticed is that people will say there business loud and proud in front of you because they have forgotten you were even there.

-he will without a doubt tell Ponyboy after.

-and since Ponyboy has little to no understanding of the meaning of keeping things to himself he will in fact tell the rest of the gang

*requests for hcs/ or fics are always welcome*

#johnny cade #writing #headcanon #johnny cade headcanons #headcanons #the outsiders #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders hcs #dallas winston #ponyboy curtis #johnny cake #light angst #angst #someone give him a happy ending i beg of you #Johnny Cade hcs

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httpswritings · 10 months ago

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cinnamon girl — Katie McCabe x Reader

Warnings: mentions of surgery, anesthesia, anxiety and clowns.

Word count: 970

Summary: Comforting Katie as she has to face one of her biggest fears.

A/N: Based on this request <3

“There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live”

“I can't! I can't do it because I'm scared... I've been scared all week because just the thought of anesthesia makes me want to throw up.”

Katie. Funny, extroverted, and entertaining.

Everyone always had a good laugh when they were around her.

Confident, strong, and optimistic.

That's the main idea people had about her.

Only her closest circle knew that, behind the shell of being an outgoing and charismatic woman, a vulnerable and sensitive Katie was found.

You had been discovering this aspect of her as she let you get to know her better.

Always being cautious with who she would open to, she knew that she could trust you but still didn't want to show her truest self as she was worried of scaring you.

“But if you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did”

You hugged her in absolute silence for half an hour. Only the sounds of the street and your breathing filled the room.

You softly shushed Katie when she apologized to you for shouting at you.

Her breathing began to slow down as she sighed and leaned on your chest.

“You don't have to pretend to be fine, Katie. Anesthesia's not a big deal for me, but it is for you, the same way clowns are funny to you and I'm frightened just by thinking of them.

Katie giggled as she remembered the time when you hid behind her as a kid dressed up in a clown costume approached you on Halloween.

“What I mean, baby, is that you can open up to me. I'm here for you. I'll probably won't be able to be next to you when your surgery takes place, but I'll be outside of the room thinking about you. If, when you're there, you feel like you can't calm yourself down, think about me and focus only on those thoughts. Imagine me being next to you, holding your hand, and telling you how much I love you and how proud I am of you for going through this, because that's how I feel. The proudest girlfriend ever knowing my brave girl is going to do great.”

“Hold me, love me, touch me, honey, be the first who ever did”

Katie couldn't stop looking at you. It's just as if she stopped doing it, you'd disappear.

Her hand was tightly holding yours.

You could see her eyes were holding tears back.

Her glazed expression was concerning.

“Darling, you're going to be okay. Thankfully, they've let me stay in this room during the whole procedure, so I'll be waiting for you to take care of you just the way you deserve. When you wake up, you'll have a precious bucket of lilies adorning your room. I'll go buy them when I certainly know that the operation is over, so don't worry about me being far away when you're still going under surgery.”

Katie remembered your previous words. «Imagine me holding your hand. Focus on me and only me. Me. Me. Me. You're safe, Katie. I'm right here.» She noticed the syringe piercing her skin.

You noticed how Katie's body tensed, so you rushed to caress her cheek. «Katie, it's okay. I'm here, baby. Focus on me. You're safe.»

She kept looking at you and hearing your encouraging words until the anesthesia started to do its work.

She began to lose consciousness with you easing her nervousness until she completely dozed off.

You were with her during the whole surgery. You couldn't deny that you were nervous, listening to the surgeons give orders to their assistants.

Seeing your girlfriend so vulnerable overwhelmed you with a feeling of protectiveness.

«You're doing great, Katie. I'm so proud of you, darling.» You thought as if she could read your mind.»

When the surgeons told you that the procedure was over, you kissed Katie on the forehead and went to buy the lilies you had promised her.

Katie began to wake up, and just as you had promised her earlier, a beautiful bucket of lilies accompanied her in the room, with you caressing her hair and softly smiling at her.

“Hello, sleepy girl.“

She smiled as she opened and closed her eyes, blinking in slow motion.

“How did it go?”

“Shh... It went well, baby. How do you feel?”

She tried to settle into the bed, but you stopped her.

“Darling, don't do that. Let's wait until the doctor comes so we can know if it's okay for you to sit down.”

She whined, but obeyed.

“I feel okay. I feel a little bit dizzy and as if I have a cold. My stomach feels weird, but I'm hungry.”

Katie looked around the room, noticing the bucket of lilies.

“Your promise...”

Her amused tone warmed your heart.

“Yes, my love. I always keep my promises. Do you like them?” you said referring to the flowers.

“Of course I do. They're so beautiful.”

“They are. They're not the most beautiful thing in this room, but they're pretty decent.”

She looked confused for a second until she realized what you meant.

“I don't look beautiful,” she said, laughing ironically, still with a soft tone due to the anesthesia.

“Look is not the correct word. You are beautiful. No matter the circumstances.”

She rolled her eyes and tried to stabilize herself, as that movement made her dizziness stronger.

“I don't have the strength to fight you, but you know—” She stopped talking as she looked at you.

As she regained more consciousness, she realized you were there and what that meant to her.

“Thank you, my love. Thank you for being here, and thank you for understanding me.”

You kissed her head and caressed her cheek.

“I'm so proud of you, Katie. So, so proud. Not only have you faced your fear, but you still take your time to be grateful.”

You both exchanged a look that showed nothing but pure admiration for each other, making that hospital room brighten up with your love.

#katie mccabe #katie mccabe x reader #katie mccabe imagine #woso #woso imagine #woso x reader

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madlori · 6 months ago

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I've been watching the 911 ship wars (let's face it; that's what this is we're both old enough to recognize that) via your posts and some other mutuals, and I just wanna say that on top of Buddie not being canon, fans insisting that it has to be takes away from a really meaningful and important platonic relationship between the two. This aggravates me for a couple of reasons, the primary one being that platonic love is just as important as romantic and it doesn't matter that they're not boyfriends because they don't have to be to be so important in each other's lives.

(The second reason is that we see so few relationships between a queer guy and a straight one that aren't played up like that and bi dudes deserve to have bros to and don't even get me going about the inherent ick in assuming a queer man is into his best friend because he's queer)

I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR MONTHS. You're absolutely correct and this has been pointed out by a lot of people.

Even when I was still squarely on the Buddie train, I ALSO thought that the depiction of a platonic but loving, emotionally honest friendship between two men who shared feelings and supported each other's mental health was really valuable and not all that common. Ryan has also talked a lot about how important he thinks it is to continue to show this when one of the men in question is queer. They've also talked about NOT wanting to do that "queer man in love with his best friend" thing which I am 100% behind.

The fact that so many people can look at Buck and Eddie's bond and say things like "there's no non-romantic explanation for this!" makes is all the more important that there BE a non-romantic explanation. Nothing Buck and Eddie have been to each other falls outside the bonds of the close friendship they canonically have, it's just that people read romance into a friendship like that because there aren't a ton of examples of it.

#buddie #bucktommy #ship wars #9-1-1 discourse #9-1-1 #tevan #platonic buddie

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real-fire-emblem-takes · 5 months ago

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hello mod goldmary here is the promised essay about alear's gender

so. let's start with the obvious. the "dragons as a metaphor for gender" thing. it is very easy to slot Fell Dragon and Divine Dragon into agab and gender identity respectively. Alear was a Fell Dragon, now they're a Divine Dragon. Alear used to be their agab, now they're something else.

i don't have the spoons to find screenshots rn so uh. just take my word for it lol. but in Chapter 20, after Griss does the big reveal (which can be read as outing in this interpretation), Alear's friends assure them that they are who they choose to be, not what they're born as. Timerra literally says "if you wanna be a Divine Dragon, you're a Divine Dragon." actually fuck it we're going all in with the metaphor. so Chapter 20 in this interpretation is basically: Griss outs Alear and Alear gets (understandably) really distressed; they lose all confidence in themselves, they believe their friends are better off not associating with them, they feel like they've been lying to everyone, and they're worried that the people around them will see them differently because of this. Alear's friends assure them that it's okay, Alear is their friend, they're not lying about their identity, and they even affirm Alear's identity (see Timerra's quote above).

speaking of affirmation, let's look at a place where. there isn't much of it. yippee, Sombron's transphobic now. "No child of mine shall live as a Divine Dragon. Death was this one's inexorable fate" yeah fuck you too bitch. in Chapter 20, Sigurd mentions that Sombron "turned his back on [Alear]" and that Alear's "life was in danger." basically, Sombron disowned Alear for being trans and threatened them with physical violence, which unfortunately happens too frequently to trans people. Eveyle also disowns Alear in her boss dialogue in Chapter 21. i don't remember the words exactly but basically Eveyle calls Alear a coward for turning to Lumera (in this metaphor, finding a support network that affirms their identity) and says that they are not her sibling.

Sombron then kills Alear in what is obviously a transphobic hatecrime (this is a joke, the actual scene fits better as a metaphor for child abuse)

the Chapter 22 flashback (the one where tomato Alear commits PatricideTM) is. augh. as Alear is dying in Lumera's arms, they lament how they wish they could be more like her. Lumera is their role model. Lumera is everything they're not in their mind, even though they did something heroic. they are who they wished they were, but they can't see that beyond all the pain and trauma they've suffered. the fact that they're a Fell Dragon is at the forefront of their mind when they finally fall asleep. their last thoughts before the coma are literally their dysphoria like. ough agh ow.

can you tell i'm normal about past alear

also yeah. the blue hair is just. dragon transition. lol

i will admit i'm. not totally sure where Corrupted Alear fits into this metaphor. uh. BUT Emblem Alear is Alear fully embracing their gender identity. they've had doubts in their Divine-Dragonness before (aka they wonder if they're really their chosen gender identity), but here they embrace it. congrats to them on their transition. i've always wanted to make that joke. the really interesting part is that they don't totally reject their Fell-Dragonness, though. yes, their Emblem form is fully divine, but their normal form? still red and blue. there are multiple ways to interpret this and I love all of them equally.

oh yeah. Alear's immune to transphobia now. Griss rubs Alear's Fell Dragon lineage into their face, essentially saying that Alear will always be their agab in this metaphor. Alear's response? "Lol ok. why are you such a bitch." pop off king (gender neutral)

AND THAT BRINGS ME. TO CHAPTER 24. i have. an entire thing written about it. on my blog. lemme see if i can find it

OK HERE IT IS:

ok so if we're going with the idea that Alear is a trans allegory then

does that mean Past Alear's interactions with Alear in chap 24 could be read as gender envy

(incoherent word dump about Alear's gender thoughts under read more)

“this is like looking in a mirror. what I see... bothers me”

suddenly i am not normal. i am pointing and screaming and sobbing

it's like if you ever look at someone who is everything you wished you were, and you hate yourself for it, you hate how you are, you hate that you were born like this, and attaining that is so clearly unachievable, it is literally physically impossible to change the body you were born with to ever match that. you hate yourself for even having those thoughts in the first place, because this was how you have always been and always will be, no matter what

and you have no idea it is actually possible to change this, because you grew up with the idea that this is what you are, you have to fulfill that role like this this and this, and if you don't you're defective and wrong. if you want to throw that label away in favor of something else, you're a failure and don't have the right to live. you grew up with this label and it doesn't fit right at all, like a shirt 5 sizes too small, but you have no idea it's possible to change that label into something right. that label defines you and sticks to you everywhere you go, it defines your relationships with others, it defines your relationship with the world around you, and you wish you were born differently, that you weren't so aware of this crawling feeling in your skin.

but you push all of that aside, because if your father realizes you feel this way, he'll kill you, like he killed all of your other siblings, and that terrifies you. you keep walking down this path that you hate, because it's the safest option you have. and being safe is better than being yourself when you don't even know what "yourself" is.

----

tldr Past Alear has really bad dysphoria but can't really do anything about it because they don't even know being trans is possible. and also that trying to experiment is incredibly dangerous in this environment

again i want to point out how Present Alear doesn't reject Past Alear. in fact, they seem to come to a greater understanding of themself afterwards.

when it comes to like. the trans lens of Present and Past Alear's relationship, i've always seen it as Present Alear coming to peace with their dysphoria. Past Alear vents all of their frustrations with their life, with themself (Past Alear comparing themself to the Corrupted and then immediately following that up with how much they hate the Corrupted. ough), and Present Alear listens. they provide assurance to Past Alear, and though that assurance falls on deaf ears, Present Alear never stops being kind.

so. yeah. Alear trans :thumbsup emoji:

👀

#fe #fire emblem #fe17 #fire emblem engage #alear fire emblem #story takes

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grandlinedreams · 1 year ago

Note

Good day/night to you :)

I was wondering if you could write something (headcanons or imagines, whatever you feel like) on how Law, Zoro and Mihawk would react to the one they love telling him that they have been betrayed and abandoned so many times that they struggle to believe that he truly loves them and won't leave them in the future?

Like, they want to believe in him and they love him too but they also don't understand how someone else can really love them more than just as a friend because they've been hurt many times when they believed and trusted others in the past who promised them they wouldn't abandon them just to break that promise

I understand if this is too sad or uncomfortable for you, so no hard feelings if you don't wanna write anything for this! I was thinking like a hurt comfort type of deal but whether you do this request or not, thank you for reading it all and I hope you have a wonderful day/night. Please remember to hydrate, eat something and stretch if you've been sitting for a while!

Hiya!! Again, thank-you so much for your patience, I really do appreciate it! I hope that I can do this justice for you, and that it's okay this is more of a hc style!

[Heads up!: little bit of angst, hurt/comfort, they're good boys!]

Law ㅡ He has his fair share of things in his past that have shaped him and damaged his ability to connect with others, so he understands the want to protect yourself from getting hurt further. He also knows that it takes a lot to be willing to talk about those kinds of things, so he's also proud of you for confiding in him instead of simply pushing it down and bottling it up.

When you tell him that you don't see how he could love you and that you're afraid he'll end up leaving you like those before him, he's quiet for a while as he tries to find what to say. He doesn't want to offer you empty promises, but he also wants to make sure you understand how he feels.

Ultimately he ends up comforting both you and himself because they're words he also needs to hear. "Something happening in the past is not a promise that it'll repeat itself. It's understandable to be wary, but it's also unfair to expect others to act as the ones before them."

He pulls you to him, holding you as close as he can, pressing his face into your hair. "I love you," he says, and that alone is an accomplishment when he doesn't say it so freely, even when he feels it. "And I don't intend on going anywhere."

ㅡ

Zoro ㅡ A little rougher around the edges even though he understands, your confession also comes from a reluctantly shared bottle of sake between the two of you and a night sky full of stars.

In the wake of your words, Zoro is quiet as he absorbs them ㅡ and then he scoffs. "That's stupid."

He doesn't mean that you or your feelings are stupid, but rather that the people before him who'd hurt you are stupid ㅡ to him, that's far from something he sees himself doing or ever wants to do.

He slings an arm around you and dragging you closer, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I'm not goin' anywhere. You're stuck with me."

Zoro is loyal to a fault, you know that ㅡ and that he means what he says. You lean into his side and sigh. "Sounds good to me."

ㅡ

Mihawk ㅡ He's a practical man who doesn't like to beat around the bush or say things he doesn't mean, and he's blunt about it when you tell him that you're worried he'll end up leaving you that if he had any intent of doing that, he already would have.

It's said in a way that makes it hard to parse out whether it's a reassurance or not, but he follows it up by cupping your chin and tipping your head so you look at him properly.

"I don't say things lightly," he tells you, "and if my intentions and feelings towards you were not clear enough, allow me to remedy that."

He's not one for much sentiment, but he is devoted in his own quiet, fierce ways ㅡ and he makes sure you know that.

#ㅡmine.#one piece scenario #one piece x reader #law x reader #zoro x reader #mihawk x reader

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molinaesque · 6 months ago

Text

Cooper Howard and Lucy MacLean's rare and wonderful dynamic (and how it's ultimately alright if they don't become "endgame" or whatever)

First off... I'm saying this as a HUGE ghoulcy shipper btw. I don't wanna hear about some bullshit about how "you just don't like the ship" or something dumb like that (have you SEEN the state of my blog??). I ADORE this ship. These are also ultimately my own thoughts. Do not be affronted if this somehow doesn't apply to your hcs. At the end of the day, this is fiction, nothing more.

Something I have to note on about the wonderful dynamic between Cooper and Lucy. Even if ghoulcy stays platonic, I'm fine with it because this is the closest dynamic to Jack/Liz from 30 Rock that l've seen, and if anyone's seen that show, you KNOW what I'm talking about. Let me explain.

Jack/Liz were two v complex characters that had so much chemistry but the way their "relationship" worked was so unique in that they were never romantic but they're WAY more than just colleagues/ friends, etc. There was literally an article titled like "why you'll never see this kind of relationship in television again" and ghoulcy has the potential to be that again which is still GREAT! It even goes on to talk about how they're COMPLETE AND POLAR OPPOSITES but the dynamic still works and how they feed off of each other in the only way no other characters can. The "dynamic" is THEIRS and theirs only. Seem familiar?

From what we're getting not just in the Fallout show but from interviews with the actors and creatives involved, we're already getting that special dynamic. However, I must stress that many of the comments and those interviews (imo) are sometimes taken TOO literally. The existing text and subtext of the ship is already abundant and ripe so I feel like not EVERYTHING has to be referred to the ship and the ship only. I know it's mostly funsies but I legit wonder if some of this is taken too seriously to the point of misconstruing an actor's words and getting tunnel vision JUST for the sake of the ship and ship only, in turn cheapening what is already there. Kinda like what I've seen with people having to vilify Barb further with unnecessary inferences to scenes that give her more layers (like questioning her genuine love for Janey and Cooper. She can be loving AND a villain y'all. Both things don't have to be mutually exclusive) EVEN THOUGH SHE IS CLEARLY VILIFIED BY THE SHOW BY THE REVEAL SO WHY MAKE UP STUFF? To "punish" her more?? Apologies but this kinda reads as "I need to prop up my ship further so I MUST degrade the other ship" even though it's again... SUPER UNNECESSARY (I must stress I've seen this on ALL sides of shipping/character stanning. Both sides suck when you engage in this behaviour). Have fun and faith in the strength of your ships (ESPECIALLY if they're not "canon" adjacent)!

Anyway, as I was saying...

Going back to 30 Rock, there's literally a scene in the show where they get married due to shenanigans, they get in a big fight the whole episode and in the end sit down and have the most revealing discussion with a councilor about why they're so much more complex than typical relationship. And another scene where they sleep in the same bed together and addressed why they never hooked up with each other and why that's okay. By the way, I was also a HUGE shipper of these two... But I was fine with how they ended up with because the story of their special relationship that makes them uniquely THEM was clear and concise. This did not stop me from reading fics where they make kissy faces. It is possible to do both and I think some ppl tend to forget this.

I'm not saying this for the antis (don't like what you don't like, but if you harass shippers then you can suck eggs and leave. This applies to shippers to non shippers too btw. Be. Nice.), I'm saying all this because I want shippers to not "despair" if the ship that they've become so invested in doesn't come to fruition (and not go overboard into thinking that writers should listen to whatever audiences want all the time, we've been down this road SO many times, it's terrible. Do we REALLY need to talk about how The Rise of Skywalker turned out the way it did due to unnecessary pressure from the loudest antis/asshats in fandom? I think not). Maybe this is also more towards the younger audience members as a cautionary tale because we old ass millenials have seen and been through this but didn't have the immediacy of social media at our finger tips, so it was kinda easier to not be as reactionary. I don't like playing the "you youngins don't know what it was like" card, but at some points it is just a statement of reality. Some of you are/were LITERALLY too young to have experienced this.

Ultimately, what I'm saying is even if ghoulcy doesn't become "romantic", I'm fine with it as long as they stay within the "something more/beyond definition" dynamic which is ALWAYS refreshing to see. Give us more "what are we"! Give us more "it's complicated"! Give us more "we can't be summarized in neat little boxes"!

As long as they don't end up in the pit of "one dimensional interpretation of the Found Family trope which is somehow only just Familial and in this instance Father-Daughter". Please, I BEG. Nothing wrong for people to like this dynamic, but to immediately categorize this into that box is just... Tiresome. You can make the same arguments about "shipping two living beings together on screen all the time" too for sure... But again it leads to my point of if we're going the platonic route how about we NOT just shove it in the same boring dynamic of Father-Daughter that if you want, can find in multitudes of other forms of existing fictional media.

Tldr; have fun but always remember this is all fictional media in the end where we play with dolls in a sandbox. Just remember to BE. NORMAL. and not forget this and start shitting in it and flinging poo at each other. That goes with relationships with creators of said media too. Do NOT become parasocial and expect everything to be catered to you. The creators want to tell a story THEY came up with in the first place.

LET THEM.

#fallout #Fallout tv #Fallout prime #ghoulcy #Cooper howard #Lucy maclean #This is mainly about fallout but honestly can be about many things #Apologies for the incoherency... I'm typing all this in a dark moving car and with little to no editing lmao #text #fallout thoughts

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skullvgirl · 7 months ago

Text

a strange dream | barou

incl. barou 🎀 ( he would kill me )

warnings. completely sfw, fluff, school!au, fem reader, very much ooc, slow burn

an's. i missed him so much i had to revisit

BAROU probably hasnt got any interest in you before your relationship, not in a bad way but lets be honest—he's a soccer addict, he definitely wouldn't notice you until well, he did.

you're both sitting in math class (which did i mention had one hell of alot of students) and someone from the other side of the room asks to pass a note to you, rumor has it they've got a crush.

eventually the note ends up in the large hands of Barou Shouei and he's of course expected to pass it along to you but doesn't see anyone ahead of him expecting to receive it from him. he's confused—who the hell was yn ?

its his bad—he really wasnt to familiar with anything not soccer related.

he looked around, then finally decided to give the piece of paper back to the person he got it from—whoever that was.

you look at barou confused, so the paper was for you? you had originally gave it too him because you weren't sure if the people mumbling in the back of the classroom were really talking about you or not.

you opened your mouth to whisper-yell at him, but he wasn't paying attention to you anymore, his eyes trained on the teacher once again.

you uncrumpled the paper, trying to be as quiet as possible in the dead silence, but with no luck.

"yn?!"

shit

"yes miss?", you hid the paper under the desk, trying not to make eye contact with the 28 other students that had eyes on you.

"care to share with the class whats so important that you need to be passing notes in my class?"

fuck

reason #1 why you really hated this class, your math teacher was a fucking bitch.

'mean girl giggles' echoed throughout the room, barous eyes paying special attention to what you were about to do.

you dreaded the feeling of being forced to stand up in front of the entire class and read aloud whatever was written on the small note.

"get to it missy"

oh fuck off

you looked around the classroom trying to assess anyone who may have been distressed or embarrassed but with no luck, everyone seemed to be waiting on you.

weird...

"im serious yn. if you dont start reading in the next 10 seconds im going to—"

"no, no thats okay—i-im reading"

for whoever wrote me this, i am so sorry.

you cleared you throat in preparation for the humiliation you were about to face, curses be upon you miss peterson.

"hi, i think your really cute, we should go out sometime together, from..."

your heart stopped.

oh no this cant be right

"thats it."

"thats it?" the teacher probed, slowly making her way towards you.

"that it. i-it just says from your secret admirer after that nothing else".

your math teacher narrowed her eyes, looking closely at your expression—she didn't buy it.

dont breakeyecontactdont break eye contactdont breakeyecontactdontbreakeyecontactdontbreakeyecontact—

"really..."

"really!" you broke eye contact.

she pointed her nose upwards, probably as high as possible and began walking towards your desk.

"alright then i wanna see it, i need to have it confiscated"

"what?!, why?" oops you said that kinda loud. the class whom had previously lost interest when you finished reading turned back towards you and miss peterson now intrigued.

"well why not?! it was a distraction in class and now it needs to be taken away to make sure it wont be a distraction again...!"

but that doesn't make sense, if you care so much about us passing notes you should take our notebooks not the gosh dang note !

"but that doesn't make sense—" but you didn't get a chance to finish as the teacher viciously snatched the paper from you and spun around back towards her desk.

you sat down and burried your hands in your face, you couldn't watch this.

"oh this looks fun...says it's from barou shouei, not what i was expecting...not what i was expecting at all..."

fucking kill yourself, PLEASE

the class, which had previously been dormant erupted in a series of raging giggles and screams—shocked at the reveal of who the note was from.

a soccer player.

it was no secret in BLLK High that nobody—under any circumstance—was to mess with a soccer player. they had a bit of a reputation going on. even the nice ones.

" 'cuse me?" a commanding and masculine voice emerged from your left side and you turned as quickly as possible to the over 6 foot ( 182 cm ) tall man trying to explain yourself.

fuck, one day you were seriously gonna kill your math teacher.

"no, no no i promise it's not like that—i seriously don't know who made this i promise it wasn't from me and i know it wasn't from you—"

"you're yn ?" he cut you off smoothly, leaning back in his seat ever so slightly.

"huh?"

his knees were facing yours now. "you're yn right? been wondering who that was for the longest, guess i know now, cool."

"huh?"

okay now you were confused—about multiple things actually. #1, barou shouei, the man you'd been sitting next to for almost a full year now had yet to learn your name untill just now which is—gosh, just outrageous even for a soccer player

and #2 he wasn't toltally angry and going to kill you like everyone said he would have, should you make a fool of him?

no seriously someone explain what was happening.

you didnt get a chance to ponder on your thoughts much longer however, the bell rang loudly in your ear and soon everyone including yourself was making way for the door out the classroom.

what the fuck just happened, what the actual fuck just happened.

"heyy ! yn over here !" you didnt realize it but you apparently had auto-piloted your way all the way through lunch and was now being called over by people you've never talked to a day in your life—and you knew exactly what it would be about.

could this get any worse

you were about to find out. "yes...?" you asked, tray still in hand while you stood awakwardly by the trash can near the lunch table who called you over.

"soo—wait first sit down, we're friends we're friends, sit down first" one of the girls said, patting a seat next to herself eagerly.

you looked at the eyes on you and quickly made a decision to move.

there definitely here to ask me about him. it can't be that bad right? i think her name is ashley? i don't know maybe this'll be fun, maybe they'll be nice.

"so have you guys had sex?"

"what?! no—"

"have you guys even ever kissed yet?"

"no—"

"we used to talk you know", this one was from ashley, a pretty blonde haired girl who's blue eyes sparkled like marbles.

"really?"

she was attractive that for sure but and you could definitely see why some people would wanna date her but barou? not so much.

"really"

like in what world would some super macho super mysterious soccer guy get the hots for some popular pretty blonde girl? not to mention an obnoxious pretty blonde girl.

gosh i sound like a pick me right now, who knows maybe they really did talk

"didn't even know her name" barou said, cracking his neck from side to side.

"seriously man?" asked isagi, popping a fry in his mouth.

"dead serious"

this was the soccer table, a table where only the best of best players would sit for lunch, not that it was official or anything—but new students were warned not to go near The Table anyway.

"so you did ask yn to prom?"

"no bachira, i didn't ask her how many times to i have to say that, i barely know her anyways"

"untill today" kunigami confirmed.

"until today" barou repeated.

"would you though?" chigiri asked, he glanced over at your table—you were pretty that much was obvious but it was barou we're talking about, who knows what he thought of you.

"nah, couldn't."

"why not? shes not ugly" nagi questioned albeit a bit insensitively.

"shes not but..." he trailed off, stringing his eyes from nagi to you, she looks kinda...

"but what"

"i don't want her thinking we're dating after prom or somethin', gotta focus on the game."

"what if i did then, think she'd say yes?" it was reo speaking now who was now also looking at your table.

"nah, your uncanny resemblance to a donkey might turn her off"

The Table laughed as reo scowled at the other players, he didnt find it very funny.

"shut the fuck up shouei, i didn't hear her accepting your undying love now did i?"

"thats because i never really asked her dipshit"

"your point! still better than knowing your rejected as a default"

"is it though?" barou was almost smiling at the purple headed boy.

"oh really? watch me"

the table made boyish "ooo"-ing sounds and reo stood up confidently.

shouts erupted from the table, causing the whole cafeteria to turn towards the players, they payed them no mind however, only staring intently at where reo was walking.

"look, look, look! one if them is coming over here right now!"

"really?!"

you whipped your head around towards where the whole cafeteria's attention had been directed.

nononon, this cannot be happening. you seriously did not need another soccer players thinking you were some freak weirdo because someone else wanted to be messy!

"thats reo, he's super fucking rich, i heard he has a whole two backyards !"

"and an a theater room!"

great, and it was a rich snob kid too.

"does yn sit here?"

your table said nothing, even the loud ashley kept quiet while he was talking. everyones heads turned to you, waiting expectantly for you to say something.

"yeah thats me..." you said meekley.

reo smiled and curled his finger towards himself a few times, asking you to come to him.

this is so awakward

you stood up silently and walked over to where reo was. he didn't stop directing him towards you until you were standing right up against him, close enough to where he could grab your jaw and yank your ear towards his mouth.

"you're hot, go out with me"

your eyes bludged, and your heart accelerated way more than it should have. that was NOT what you were expecting.

reo let go of your face, his hands were in his pockets as he waited for your answer, he looked confident tou would say yes. and most people would, but this was a soccer player we were talking about—and this one specifically was known for being super rich, super smart and a super hoe. three things you couldn't be bothered to even try giving a chance with.

you glanced behind him trying to peer at the damage that had been done.

holy shit the whole fuking cafeteria is looking

"so?"

you were snapped back into reality as reo looked at you, still waiting for an answer. it was pretty obvious what you were going to say.

"no. im sorry but no, i hardly know you and you're really not my type, sorry."

your table made all types of noises as they watched the now humiliated boy bite a scowl and walk back too his table.

you quickly sat back down and watched as The Table made fun of reo's rejection. all the players were laughing but you were only looking at one.

"said i wasn't her type". The Table erupted in laughter, all the players except reo cackling like animals.

"fucking told you so, at least get to know the girl before you start trying to hit on her" isagi joked, slapping reo on the back repeatedly.

"no for real, dont know what made you think she would fall for you in a day, not all girls are so easy you know" kunigami shook his head.

"what did you say too her anyways?" nagi asked now curious as to what got him such a harsh rejection anyways.

"didn't say nothing, js asked her if she wanted to go out, said no, that's it." reo reiterated bitterly.

"knowing him it was probably something like 'youre hot, lets go out'" barou said offhandedly, distracted by the feeling of eyes on him.

"you could hear?" reo asked, now confused.

The Table went silent for a moment and isagi burst out laughing when he realized what reo had just said.

"so you did really say that?!"

the emmbarassment for reo only cotinued further but barou wasn't paying attention to that. the eyes from before were still on him.

it was you.

cute...

BAROU isnt really much of a romantic either, he hasn't got the headspace for it like he does for soccer, so of course—he's not seeking the love. the love is seeking him.

1 week later

you sat quietly in the school library studying like a madman for finals, it was just near the end of the school year and you were determined to get good marks on all of the subjects.

the library was the most perfect and quiet place to relax and work at the same time—without any distractions or problems to bother you from your job.

"excuse me?"

you glanced up to where the voice was coming from and your heart felt like it was going to explode.

it was none other than barou shouei in the flesh.

a whole week, a whole week you had managed to somewhat avoid his presence and pretty much ignore him during math ( your teacher denied you request to switch spots ) it was going fine untill—well, now.

"can i borrow your computer charger? mine just died and a left mine at home"

that was it?

you didn't really know what to expect from the man though. he was known to be pretty brutal on tbe field maybe you were assuming he'd be the same in real life.

although i guess i shouldn't think that considering how chill he was over the fake confession and all of that...

"oh yeah sure, I uh can let your borrow it no problem"

"thanks"

barou took your charger without another word and walked back over too his seat.

the racing in your heart was begining to subside, that wasn't so bad...

you shifted to get comfortable in your seat and began studying once again, right now where was i...

"excuse me?"

and just as you were getting comfortable. barou shoei again.

"yes?"

"sorry im back so soon but, could i sit here for a little bit. the outlet by my table isnt working for some reason" he said it in a polite tone but seemed eager for an answer, he was probably in a rush to get as much study time in before practice like most athletes were.

he really isnt as scary as i thought he'd be...

"yeah of course that's fine, it's better this way anyway, wont forget you had it in the first place ya know" you smiled moving your belongings over to make room for his.

"thanks"

barou set his things down and soon enough a static silence ensued over the both of you, not that you minded though. you still needed to get work done and it was better he wasn't attempting to make conversation with you. it is a bit awkward though...

"you color coded your pens"

the voice that emmited from the other side of the table almost made you forget who was there.

"i did, why?"

"nice, i did too"

barou didnt wait for an answer, but instead pulled out a all black pencil pouch to reveal all seven colors of the rainbow line up in order.

jeez, i just think it looks cool, his has all the pen hooks facing up too, ocd much?

that wasn't the main point though, what was more important was his sticker—on thst rested sturdy on his bag. "you watch graves anatomy too?"

he looked surprised when you mentioned the show, and nodded his head appropriately. "yeah, and im all caught up too, all 22 seasons and counting."

"holy hell, im only on season 12 how to even time for that—aren't you always having games and stuff, scince your on varsity and all..."

barou quirked an eyebrow, "mm you know your stuff—i make it work"

now it was your turn to make a face "you make it work...really, its that easy?"

no. the absurbant amount of school work i have is fucking killing me right now plus i've got sisters too take care of so no, it's definitely not easy

thats not what he said though.

"yup, real easy." he nodded his head and although you didn't buy it, it was hardly your place to nag. he didn't seem like someone you should nag.

"uh huh.." you shook your head up and down slow and repeatedly, "for sure, for sure"

"what you don't believe me?" barou moved his chair closer to yours, so close in fact you think your knees were touching, his arms bulged as he rested his hands on his head ; it was hot nice seeing him in a position that wasn't so straight .

"no i do, you seem really responsible im sure you're great at 'making it work' " you put a thumbs up.

gosh, could you be anymore awakward...

"oh im responsible ? you would know that im responsible?" barou questioned, leaning even closer on his arms towards you.

is he...flirting with me?

you laughed and covered your mouth with your hand leaning slightly away as he got closer.

"i mean yeah" you paused to swipe away the nonexistent dust from your eyes, you just couldn't hold the eye contact.

come on, dont get shy now yn.

"people talk, i guess."

"do they?"

"they do" you nodded your head firmly up and down, since it was the only thing you were sure you could do at the moment.

"mh"

mmh?!? the fuck does that mean ??

"so yn i wanna ask you a question" barou leaned back as he said this, finally returning to his normal position.

holy shit my heart was beating so fast, somebody get me on a stretcher and to the hospital NEOW, i am about to blow!

"yeah?"

barou stayed silent for a few moments, thinking deeply about what he was going to say.

"hypothetically..." he paused, staring directly at you.

"hypothetically..." you confirmed.

"hypothetically if someone, other than reo from the soccer team—just as an example lets say...yoichi ! remember hypothetically speaking—asked you out on a date what would your answer be?"

huh?

"what kind of question is that?"

"a hypothetical one" he said matter of factly.

"a hypothetical one, right, well if—hypothetically of course—i was asked out by isagi, om a date that is...i don't know...yeah? I guess i'd day yes?"

"really, you would?" he looked surprised and you suddenly felt alarmed, was that a bad thing or something??

"yeah? i mean no, not really—maybe not if he asked the way your friend did..."

"mhm"

??? again, what does that mean?

A moment of silence passed between the two of you and you tried and failed at going back to the work you were supposed to be doing in the first place.

"what about chigiri?" he said suddenly.

"chigiri? what do you me—"

"chigiri. pretty, has red hair, plays on varsity and is super fast? chigiri. would you say yes too him?"

"i mean, maybe, yeah he's definitely not ugly and i guess if i knew him well enough I would probably say yes—why are you asking me this?"

barou said nothing and suddenly, the strangest thing began to happen—he looked at you smiling—a large, uncanny smile resembling a creepypasta monster formed from on his face, your heart began to beat but for the wrong reasons.

"wake up yn" it was definitely barou's voice but it sounded far.

"huh?" you couldn't move, and you now realize you probably couldn't move for a while.

what...is happening...

"wake. up."

your head shot up from your arms, ans you looked around disorientedly.

oh...

up untill about the last 30 seconds you were a bit disappointed it had to end. your dream that is.

"yn", a voice—much deeper than you recall im your fantasies spoke out to you as you felt a tap on your shoulder.

it was barou. the real barou.

"i baroued your charged?" he said holding it out towards you. (an's. IM HALARIOUS LAMOSJKWIS)

"oh. right sorry, thanks." you took the cord from him. but he didn't leave, still looming over you in his tall stature he spoke again.

"uh, you got a little.." he pointed to the corner of his lip, scratching at it in expectation for you to do the same.

you did, softly at first, not really sure what is it he was implying but quickly realized what he meant after you felt a crusty dry substance still left from your unconscious.

oh..

oh !

"ive got drool on my face haven't i" he nodded his head, and you swore you saw grin appear on his face—a real one but he turned and walked away before you could make confirm.

"thanks for the charger yn, see ya later"

his back was facing you now, slowly getting smaller and smaller at he walked away from you.

seriously ! could i be anyless embarrassing for even a second!

im afraid not yn.

because according to barou, he thinks your little moments of embarrassment and humiliation were pretty damn cute.

BAROU is never scared. he hardly ever get worried, he's king and one of the best players in his school, he's top of his class always and struggles—never. so why? why was it now, over some so trivial that he was all thoes things he never gets all at once?

1 week later, in the classroom.

barou felt weird.

the truth is, he didnt need a partner for the social studies project. his teacher was allowing groups of two or singles all the same. his reasoning behind why he wanted a partner is what was scaring him.

after almost an entire year, barou realized that you not only were in his math class, but his social studies as well. and his history, and biology—even his orchestra ( he plays cello in case you were wondering ).

he realized that you were everywhere.

barou, for the first time was recognizing someome else, not on the team, not an adult, but a girl, he was acknowledging a girl, as more than nothing.

it was weird.

"yn."

you peered up at him, wide-eyed and adorable. "work with me on the project"

your eyes, (e/c) and beautiful, got impossibly larger.

"yeah—uh—sure we can"

he gave a thumbs up, and went back to his seat.

what am i doing?

"i dont know, maybe we can exchange numbers instead?"

"yeah thats better, since im hardly on social media anyways"

even though you've got so many followers..

"alright cool"

you and barou were in the library, again. instead of dreaming about his muscles however, you were watching them in real time move for your phone and yours the same.

there wasnt mych said after that, only short words to communicate what part of the project you both were supposed to work on, untill...

"yn?"

"yes" and once again, you were looking at him, wife eyed and adorable.

"i've got a question to ask you"

no way, did i fall asleep again?

you sucked in a breath, and pinched your cheeks, not paying any attention to the words that might come out of his mouth.

"ow!" nope, you were definitely awake.

barou raised an eyebrow and couldn't hold himself in. he burst out laughing and you we're glad the library waw empty, because in all his seriousness—barou's laugh was loud. like the sort of thing you'd been holding in for a while.

"what yn, afraid you're gonna fall asleep again?"

your cheeks heated up an intense amount.

"no..."

"you're funny you know, really funny"

"huh?!" you squeaked, shifting all over in your chair. "what does that mean"

barou leaned in close to your face, so close that your noses were touching.

"it means..." he tilted hid head sidewards, waiting for your permission.

"i think you're the stupidest most adorable person to exist..." you didn't move away.

and like a shock, barous lips were on yours so softly it made it feel very much like a dream, but it wasn't.

an's. i know this is not himmm, he wouldn't even look at you after a supposed fake letter i knooow, i couldn't think of a better way to force it ( i was lazy ) and he's cute let me live.

an's. i rushed the end i knoww, leave me alone. i like writing for personal enjoyment shhhhhh.

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