#because I know I suck at it :'D

[theposhperyton]

All evidence suggests yes

[sysig]

whoops i asked in the wrong place. would you be willing to do a request of the vargas boys in a SAW trap? thank you in advance <3

Day 2 - Was it not obvious enough

[gayofthefae]

Mike's surprise and relief when El says she missed him. He takes a deeep breath.

Bless him. She's not leaving you, bud.

The way he's so eased then. He doesn't initiate the serious part of the conversion, she does, which means she probably had more to say, but her saying she missed him gives him the strength to start to try to tell her the truth then.

He feels like maybe it will be okay. Maybe she'll stay. She missed him. Even when they were on bad terms, she still missed him.

It's so simple, but so common and easy to fall into. The idea that when she stopped needing him, she would leave him because nothing else was keeping her. But missing him was.

She didn't need him. I think he still knows that. The original monologue says that he could tell when she left, and they came up on her already having escaped on her own, only in need of a ride.

He knows she doesn't need him because he knows he didn't save her when he showed up. But he didn't know yet that that didn't matter to her.

He probably thought that because he failed to be a good boyfriend then failed to be her hero, he was confirmed as useless to her. They were having a nice time for now, but she could laugh with any other member of the party too.

But then she said she missed him. Even though he didn't save her.

Even if he doesn't know Will was lying, he knows Will was embellishing. He knows Will was telling him a story about her through his eyes, not quoting her. So "she needs you" was a mistranslation on Will's part, but what he meant remained. "She's not leaving"

Because Mike doesn't need to believe that El needs him. He needs to believe that she'll want him even when she doesn't. She needs to need nobody, which is where she is now. He only wants her to need him because he doesn't believe she'll want him.

But I think this tells him that she does. He hasn't told her he loves her since their fight. He hasn't righted his wrongs. She loves herself now. She got herself out. He didn't save her. Even when he was of absolutely no "use" to her...she still missed him.

Because she missed him. And the surprise is beautiful and so sad. Because he never thought of that before. He never thought that his use could just be sitting there with her wearing pizza box sunglasses and giggling and she'd stay for that.

But she will. And he knows that now. And that's what pushes him forward to start talking about it here. He could have been hesitant and let her lead the way and followed when she got there or corrected her or whatever she was gonna say, but at this point, he took the lead.

Because he trusted her. He trusted her to love him enough. To love this "loser" enough not to leave him. Because she missed him even when he hadn't done anything to earn it.

And so he starts talking. He starts telling her the truth because his deepest fear was that if he couldn't give her what she needed, she'd leave. But he couldn't, and she stayed. Because he's what she wanted.

He feels safer here. She asked him to do something. He can't do it. But she already thinks that. And already thinking that, she missed him. Still.

He was terrified it would be "since you couldn't say it, I'm leaving you", but it was "I missed you". Whether she was gonna break up with him or not over that, a break up doesn't mean leaving and she was never going to leave. And he knew that here. It would have been terrifying if she had said "say it now or I'm leaving" and he still couldn't.

But instead, she said 'I'm sad you can't say it, but you're still important to me.' And she might have at worst said 'maybe we just stop being the type of relationship where I want/expect you to say it'. From her surprised reaction when she thought he was going to a moment later, it's clear after their 4x03 fight she had no expectation of him suddenly being able to (logical, that's really television trope-y for the answer to be insecurity and not just not loving a person and that sucky).

She thought she had her answer. She thought he didn't love her and that meant she was unlovable. Now she's learned he doesn't love her and that has nothing to do with her. So she's telling him that she loves him but can't keep waiting for him because she loves herself too much for that. But she will not stop loving him in doing that.

And that is the best thing he could have heard. That's why he relaxes like he does. Feeling safe. Because in just "I missed you," she just said "thinking I knew for a fact that you didn't love me, when you were away, I still wanted you back in my life". So just as she is thinking "he doesn't love me but it has nothing to do with me, I know that now", he is now feeling safe to say "I don't love you like that but it has nothing to do with you."

THIS is what the monologue later lacked. He felt completely safe to tell the truth. She was not going to leave or die regardless of result, so the only choice he had to make was not "keep her or lose her", it was "tell the truth or don't" with no deeper bearing to those than on himself.

It's a sad truth to tell. So he looks a little sad. But notice how he doesn't look nearly as scared as he used to.

And getting these gifs, I also notice that this is reflected in the blocking! They are now sitting on an even plane, where she was above him before. Because he is not scared of her reaction and she is not dependent on whatever he might say.

[keeps-ache]

spillage.

[ + other things :D ]

[velvetwyrme]

sniffs. to be able to talk abt my aus and ocs i have to. make stuff to post about them. like wdym yall cant just read my mind and unspool my thoughts.

this is a thought i have frequently and no i havent posted abt literally any of them since the last time i thoguht abt iy agdkgjwlengghdkfbdk

[museenkuss]

OCTOBER. the first lines in a new notebook. chestnut mousse. studying runway shows. the scent of leather. rainy nights spent reading. mini perfume atomisers kept in overstuffed handbags. chai. hunting down the perfect paisley scarf. poached pears with vanilla sauce. jotting down thoughts on scraps of paper that’ll be found inbetween the pages of a book, years from now. honey face masks. learning poems by heart. dark chocolate and red wine. Draculean nightmares and Wildean dreams (opulent, melancholic, homoerotic).

[tio-trile]

Did you hate the season 2 finale? Are you still looking forward for season 3 because of it or are you turned off of looking forward for any tv show good omens from now on?

What season 2 finale? Good Omens has never been adapted into a TV show. I love the book tho!

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Hi Lofty!!

I love all your work and can't get enough of your Healthcare AU!🖤

Question though: We know the boys don't do great self care especially if they are sick or hurt. Malon seems like she would be just as strong headed and always say she's fine. But how would Time react to seeing her name pop up as a patient in the ED?

Like if she got into a car wreck (not a horrific one, though I'm sure Time would lose it) or had an incident with a horse and got banged up, maybe even a concussion, and was trying to refuse treatment because she's "fine", only for Time to burst in.

How would Time react to it all??

The sky had steadily darkened as they drove. Warriors' usual cheerful chatter died down before he'd finally started breathing softly in gentle, rhythmic patterns of sleep. Time glanced over at him on occasion with a fond smile and then he gently turned on a quiet music station on the radio to fill the void.

The emergency medicine conference had gone very well. The boys had learned a great deal, Time's talk was a success, and Sky had even gotten to see Sun briefly. After a good four days relaxing at the shore and getting training hours under their belts, they were ready to return home.

Time had one final class to teach today before they'd left, and he'd turned off his phone as a result. It was only now that he realized he'd forgotten to turn it back on, but he wasn't going to mess with it while he was driving. They'd be arriving home soon enough.

An hour later, Time escorted a sleepy Warriors to his apartment where Wind was cheerily waiting. After a few shared words and laughs and some hot chocolate, Time headed out. As he pulled into the long driveway leading up to the ranch, he saw a single light behind him and blew out a small sigh of relief - it was Sky's motorcycle, which meant he'd gotten there safely as well. Legend and Hyrule had carpooled separately, and he'd have to text them to confirm they were home.

When he finally parked the car and Sky pulled up beside him, Time turned on his phone. It vibrated once, twice, three, four, five, six times as he climbed out of the vehicle to check on Sky. Good grief, did the world end while I was driving?

It was probably the group chat.

Sky yawned as he pulled off his helmet, giving Time a tired smile.

"Hungry?" Time asked. "I'm sure Malon has something prepared."

"Food sounds nice," Sky hummed as he grabbed his luggage from the car and the pair made their way inside. While they walked, little details jumped out at Time, because no matter the situation or his level of calm or exhaustion, he couldn't not notice his surroundings.

Malon's car was missing. The gravel leading up to where it normally parked was tousled a little, like feet had shuffled back and forth.

Time paused.

Sky was unlocking the door, oblivious to the environment, but did note, "I wish they'd left the light on so I could see the key."

Lights. There were no lights. Not a single light in the house was on.

Time pulled out his phone, anxiety beginning to bubble in his chest.

He had multiple missed calls and more texts than could be displayed on the screen.

Sky entered the house just as Time unlocked his phone, and the pilot called confusedly, "Nobody's home!"

Hey. Tried to call but went straight to voicemail. Malon's sick. We're at the ER. She's stable, just dehydrated. Needs fluids. Don't know if staying overnight. She'll probably kill them first.

Time read the text from Twilight. The one, single, solitary text. The rest had been from Wild, who was anxiously giving update after update.

Then his phone started blowing up. Legend, Hyrule, Warriors, Four, and Wind were all texting now, having apparently just being told by Wild. Between that and the time stamps on the texts, they had just missed them.

Sky walked out slowly, phone in hand, likely reading similar information from the others. His head shot up immediately, eyebrows crinkled together in worry.

"Stay here," Time advised as he made his way back to the car, mind fixating on the issue.

"But--"

"Stay," Time insisted tersely. He wasn't entirely sure why he was so insistent on the matter, except that it gave him one less person to worry about if Sky wasn't perseverating on the matter alongside the surgeon himself as he drove to the hospital.

The drive felt like an eternity. He tried calling Twilight and got no answer, which only made him more worried. Wild wasn't answering either, and his persistent texts had stopped.

Twi just said she needed fluids, he tried to reassure himself. That's an easy fix.

But when had she gotten so ill that it was needed? What had happened? They'd only been gone a few days - what had he missed? He'd just talked to her yesterday, she'd seemed fine!

After an admittedly sloppy parking job in the garage, Time walked hastily into the emergency department, making his way past the triage desk and badging himself into the department. He caught sight of the status board and immediately found her name.

She was in one of the acute care areas. That was a good sign, at least. But the waiting room still had a few people in it, which meant she was higher priority than others. That could potentially be a bad sign.

His stomach churned even more as he tried to focus instead of spiral. He couldn't quite silence the pounding of his heart in his ears, he couldn't stop biting his tongue anxiously as he walked to her room. His usual, calm demeanor was quickly crumbling, and he was losing control of the situation fast.

When he reached her room, his phone buzzed just as he opened the door. He wasn't entirely sure how he would act, seeing his beloved wife in a stretcher, but the immediate wave of dizziness that slammed into him wasn't the first reaction he'd expected to have.

Time leaned heavily on the door, and Malon's surprised expression quickly changed to alarm. "Honey, I'm okay--"

"You're--" Time stammered, taking a shaky breath. "What's wrong?"

Twilight hastily walked up to him, guiding him to a chair beside her bed. He didn't quite notice Wild or Twilight for a moment, holding his wife's hand as she gave him a reassuring smile. It was less comforting than it should have been, given that her face looked drawn and tired and was drenched in sweat.

"I'm okay," she repeated tiredly. "Just a little sick. Threw up a lot. They gave me Zofran, so I'm doing better. Boy do I love that stuff."

"You look awful," Time blurted out. "You're pale, you're diaphoretic--"

"Oh stop spouting out an assessment," Malon hushed with a weak chuckle. "I'm just dehydrated. Couldn't hold anything down for a while. Look, see, they're giving me fluids now."

She held out her arm for inspection, and Time examined the 18G IV in her AC. She'd already gotten a 200mL bolus, and the fluids were still infusing. He looked at the monitor and saw the tachycardia, saw the hypotension, and he swallowed thickly.

Shock. She'd been going into shock.

"Do they know what's wrong?" he asked. "What's causing this?"

Malon blew out a dismissive breath. "Oh, just a bad stomach bug. Hit Wild earlier in the week."

Time immediately turned his attention to the two young men in the room, watching Wild shrivel into a corner. Twilight was strangely stiff, his expression closed off as his hand settled on Wild's shoulder.

"Boys," Malon directed at the pair. "Do you two mind getting me some water and a damp washcloth?"

The pair took the hint, exiting the room wordlessly and closing the door behind them.

"Link," Malon said gently, garnering her husband's attention. "I'm okay. I promise. You look paler than I do."

"I wasn't here," Time said suddenly, his voice choking up, his guilt and anxiety swirling in an uncomfortable mess of overwhelming emotions that he couldn't express in any given word. "You're sick. I'm--"

"You can't control everything, hon," Malon insisted. "Life isn't your OR."

Time bit back a rebuttal, because he knew she was right. It still made him feel utterly helpless, like he had been so, so long ago when he was a child. He hated it.

But he latched on to her words, latched on to the facts, latched on to the reality of the situation like he was in the OR. Because he could think in the OR, he could focus in the OR.

Malon is fine. She's sick, but she's stable. She was in shock but she's getting fluids. She's awake, her mental status is normal, she's oriented and talking to me.

"How are you feeling?" he finally asked.

Malon laughed. "Spoken like a true surgeon. Looking at the numbers before you look at your patient."

Time gave a pleading pout, though her little jab did cheer him up. If she was able to make quips about his patient care, then she wasn't feeling too terrible.

Then his wife sighed, leaning her head into the pillow and staring at the ceiling. "I'm tired. But not as nauseous as I was. And the fluids are helping. I knew I needed fluids. Figured I could handle it at home. Tried ginger ale, tried sprite, little sips of water between vomiting episodes, but I just couldn't keep anything down. I..."

Malon bit her lip, and the worried look on her face made Time's anxieties return tenfold.

"You what? What's wrong?" he asked quickly.

"I might've asked too much," Malon said, her voice shaking a little. "I just--I felt so ill, and I knew I was losing the fight with staying hydrated enough. I... I asked Twilight to do something I shouldn't have."

Time glanced out at the doorway, but with the curtain drawn he had no idea where the boys were. When he looked back at Malon, she was staring at the curtain too.

"What did you ask?" he prompted.

"I asked him to start an IV on me," Malon said finally, her expression falling further. "My hands were shaking too much, or I would've tried to just do it myself. I know he's just a basic EMT, but I also know he's done some tech work in the ED, so I figured the others had taught him how to start them. He... he really did try, but I was too dehydrated and the only vein he found blew, and... I think he feels bad about it. I shouldn't have asked him. But I was desperate and thought I could just fix it easily at home."

Time's eye traced along Malon's arm to see a small bruise that had developed from Twilight's attempt. He felt equal parts upset and concerned.

"This whole thing's a stupid mess," Malon grumbled. "The sooner I get some fluids the better. I think they'll just give me some ODT Zofran to go home and we'll be done."

She made it sound so normal. As if his wife weren't sitting in a hospital bed. As if his wife weren't so acutely ill she'd had a medical emergency.

Time spiraled a moment longer and then buried his face in his hand, leaning an elbow on the side rail of the stretcher. He and Malon had both seen and treated infinitely worse.

But it was different when it was a loved one.

This isn't even the first loved one you've seen in this position.

"I swear, you're all conspiring to each have a hospital stay," Time muttered, finally grounding himself in some levity as he squeezed his wife's hand.

Malon laughed at that. "Well, mine's less exciting than Twi almost blowing up his appendix. Or Sky getting shot. Or anything Wars has done."

"Wars didn't need an ED visit."

"Not yet, at least."

Time sighed, rubbing his face and then smiling at his wife. "Well. Either way. You're not getting out of bed for a few days."

Malon huffed, cheeks flushing in defiance. "I have things to do--"

"You're sick. I'm taking care of you."

"You? You're a surgeon! I'd be better off being taken care of by one of the barn cats!"

Time spluttered, "I can take care of my own sick wife!"

"You're not a nurse," Malon fired back. "You don't know how to take care of a patient, just how to fix them. There's a difference."

"Well, then, you'll just have to teach me," Time argued stubbornly, kissing her hand. "I'm taking care of you whether you like it or not."

Malon sighed, put out, and relented. Then she gave him a cheeky grin. "I'll be sure to demonstrate how you act when you're ill."

"Malon--"

"All the whining and moaning--"

"Malon, be merciful--"

"And the constant neediness--"

"That's just playing dirty and you know it."

His wife's laugh was far more energetic this time, giving him some peace in his still anxiously fluttering heart. Time took her hand in both of his once more, stroking it lovingly.

The peace of the moment was shattered when the curtain was nearly torn off its hooks as Legend led a stampede of young men into the room.

"Malon, are you okay--"

"Who's your physician, I'll make sure they're actually getting stuff done and moving things along--"

"Forget that, who's her nurse--"

"Are you hurting? Wild said your stomach hurt before--"

"Did the Zofran help?"

"Malon can we grab you anything?"

The pair stared at the group, overwhelmed for a moment, and then Malon smiled, eyes filling with tears. "I guess I have a lot of nurses taking care of me."

"You do," Time assured her, taking the damp washcloth out of Twilight's hands and placing it over her forehead. Malon hummed in contentment as she was surrounded by her husband and her boys, and despite the chaos of the area all around them, there was at least peace in one room in the emergency department that night.

[martyrbat]

madness – batman: haunted knight

[oozeandgoo-art]

[snezus-christ-risen]

Another way to look at it is that we've all been living a nightmare for the past 4 years and just fooled to believe otherwise for the longest time. Nothing has changed, and nothing will unless the collective finally decides we've had enough. However, most people aren't ready nor willing to believe that. Not to mention our money has been going towards the slaughtering of people in other countries for years and years, without a cent given back to us. Broken country, but the system is working as intended to. For the complex, NOT for the people. Many of us really don't know how lucky we are to have the problems we do. You'll wake up tomorrow, just as you did today, no threat of imminent life-ending danger looming, while citizens of other nations die, funded by OUR TAX MONEY. We all need to assess our privileges, even at the smallest level.

Thank you for the privilege check and perspective. It is outrageous that regardless of who won, our taxes would continue to fund wars and genocide. The Democratic party brought this on themselves by continuing to support genocide, refusing to listen to the people, and moving the party further right with every election, but of course the blame will be put on third party voters (despite the math not mathing). The USA is a fucking joke and I’m ashamed to be part of it.

[dootznbootz]

(Ian Johnston, Book 10)

[sysig]

Let him dad her!! (Patreon)

[iheartbookbran]

I feel like with this whole Liam Payne situation and the resurgence of 1D content (which I’ll be lying if I said I haven’t been enjoying) it’s easy to forget what a real tragedy this is—because obviously I don’t know any of these men personally nor will I ever, but the 5 of them where still incredibly important to me in a very dark and yet very formative period of my life, and they deserve that recognition on my part at least. Growing up I very rarely thought about how the 1D members were very close in age with me, only a couple of years older, yet while I was living the last years of my childhood protected by my parents, they were literally plucked from their homes, overworked to the bone and thrown to the wolves.

Liam became an abuser and an addict, there’s no denying that, but it’s very hard for me to think that the boy I used to eagerly watch videos of everyday when I was a teen started off that way—and this isn’t me trying to put my nostalgia above the pain of his victims at all, I’m just pointing out how the cycle of abuse perpetuated by the industry can only end up ruining lives. Liam’s life absolutely did not have to end the way it did. Ultimately Maya Henry and the rest of his victims don’t deserve to be blamed for this, they should receive nothing but compassion and empathy from us, and so should Liam’s family, especially his son.

I think I will, bearing that in mind, allow myself to mourn Liam, and the girl I used to be and that he was such a huge part of. I can never be that girl again, I’ve lost and gained too much over the years to ever be her again.

I will also allow myself to mourn the rest of the 1D boys too, because while I don’t want anything bad to ever happen to them, they aren’t those boys anymore, the pedestal they used to occupy no longer exists in my heart, but a part of my love for them will always be there.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Little celebratory thing: it feels like I'm getting a bit better at alef bet! Even though the vowel markings can feel redundant, they're still something I've been able to remember and recognize individually!

[mey-rin-is-fabulous]

"Why didn't you go too?"

Oh I don't know Nami maybe because he asked and Luffy said he didn't need help and Zoro is so incredibly whipped that if Luffy tells him not to fight he listens, if Luffy tells him to stay he stays

Like Nami where the hell have you been the past 100+ episodes, those two are about as in love as in love gets without them making out