#also I do think those two - D nightmares and W dreams - can be very similar

[museenkuss]

OCTOBER. the first lines in a new notebook. chestnut mousse. studying runway shows. the scent of leather. rainy nights spent reading. mini perfume atomisers kept in overstuffed handbags. chai. hunting down the perfect paisley scarf. poached pears with vanilla sauce. jotting down thoughts on scraps of paper that’ll be found inbetween the pages of a book, years from now. honey face masks. learning poems by heart. dark chocolate and red wine. Draculean nightmares and Wildean dreams (opulent, melancholic, homoerotic).

[imasimpforshanks]

hi! i love your stuff so very much!!

can i request the angst alphabet with zoro?

thank uuuuu ❤️

Angst Alphabet - Roronoa Zoro

a/n: hiya!!! thank y’all so much!!<3 hope you enjoy this 😌

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

He may not blame himself entirely if you were to die in an accident. But Zoro would think himself weak. How could he possibly become the words greatest swordsman if he can’t even protect his s/o.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

Before breaking up with you Zoro would start to distance himself a little to try and make it easier on the both of you for when he does break up with you. Other than that, he is likely to just come right out and say exactly what he wants to say. He’s brutally honest and straightforward so he won’t try to sugar coat anything or beat around the bush.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

Zoro does this horrible thing where he likes to overwork himself to the point of exhaustion. No matter how many times you tell him to stop and express your concerns for his health, he just doesn’t listen. It hurts seeing the man you love more than anything exhausting himself.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

Speaking of overworking, after your death he works himself harder than he ever has before. Day in, day out he’s training. He trains every possible minute to distract himself from your death and make himself stronger to ensure he never loses a loved one ever again.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

Being openly vulnerable is something Zoro doesn’t like to do. He really only shows his vulnerable side with his s/o and even then, it took him a really long time to do it.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

Very rarely do your fights get serious. Your fights are often just light-hearted teases and jokes towards one another. Where its always followed by laughter or eye rolls.

If your fight was to get serious, it would result in a lot of yelling at one another and with Zoros blunt personality, a lot of hurtful words (which he ALWAYS apologizes for in the end).

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

The events of Sabaody weigh heavily on Zoro’s mind. He was the first one to get sent away by Kuma, so feels as though he failed not only his captain, but the whole crew as well. He wasn’t there to protect them, to help them. Instead, he was a complete failure. And, because of his weakness his captain had to fight and suffer alone.

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

During a break-up Zoro does what he would in any other situation: workout. He keeps himself occupied by working out, and actually he drinks a little bit more than usual too. It could even get to the point where the rest of the crew feels as though they need to step in.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?).

He turns dark. Basically, a demon in human form. Moves you from wherever you are so that you’re out of the way of more danger AND THEN HE TIES HIS BANDANA ROUND HIS HEAD BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS SERIOUS.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

Its ridiculously obvious when this swordsman is jealous. He gets super grumpy and tries to intimidate the other person. He’ll stand right behind you and honestly, that’s intimidating enough on its own. But, if the other person doesn’t get the hint he’ll place his hand, ever so casually, on his swords.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Ever since joining the Straw Hats, Zoro doesn’t kill others (its not something Luffy wants his nakama to do, so Zoro doesn’t do it). However, that mindset goes straight out the window depending on who he’s taking revenge for (i.e if it’s for his s/o).

Most of the time Zoro just leaves them wishing they were dead. (this seems to be a common thing amongst One Piece characters).

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

I would actually say losing some of his pride. Zoro is a poud man, who refuses to lower his head to anyone. However, after receiving the message from Luffy to train and meet up again in two years, Zoro knew he had to lower his and beg Mihawk for his guidance. It was definitely a hit on his pride, but, honestly… He doesn’t regret that one bit – anything for his captain.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?).

During one of the few big fights you guys have had things got really heated and the fight ended up getting so off topic. Insults and mean words were being thrown out left and right. Zoro got so caught up in it all that he said something that targeted one of your deepest insecurities. He knew he had screwed up so badly when you walked away without even saying anything.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?).

He doesn’t often get nightmares, but when he does they tend to be about Sabaody and when the crew got separated from one another (or really any other incident where he was unable to help properly). After he wakes up, he gets straight out of bed and starts working out – determined to make sure nothing like that ever happens again.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

Zoro doesn’t get mad at you for much, mainly if you pay any attention to that shitty cook, like seriously, he doesn’t understand why you have to give Sanji any attention when Zoro is literally your boyfriend….

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

Even though you never found out exactly what happened on Thriller Bark (its something Zoro refuses to tell even you), it made you realize that you need to step up and not rely on Zoro so much because although he may act like it, he’s not actually indestructible.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?).

(SORRY I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING VERY REPETITIVE HERE AH BUT YEAH…) He never allows himself to heal from an injury properly. He always starts training immediately despite Chopper’s best attempts to stop him.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around)).

If you were to reject his confession, he’d probably try to justify it to himself by saying “yeah actually it’s probably better this way. I don’t need anymore distractions in life.” But, he would definitely be a little down in the dumps about it. He made himself vulnerable for this and it didn’t work the way he wanted.

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

Zoro has many scars. The scar over his left eye was a result of his two years of training with Mihawk, though no one knows the exact cause of it – only that it appeared during those two years. Zoro also has a scar on his chest from his very first encounter with Mihawk. He may also have scars on his ankles from the time he tried to chop of his own legs on Little Garden (I can’t recall if these are actually scars or if they healed completely).

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?).

This answer is short and sweet: No. Never. Not even in his wildest of dreams. Loyalty is basically Zoro’s entire character. He would never violate your trust. If he did… well Zoro, wouldn’t be Zoro anymore. (only thing he’s done that comes close is keep you from finding out what really happened to him on Thriller Bark).

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

Honestly, he is probably one of the few who are able to cope with missing you the longest. He still wants to see you of course – your presence is reassuring, so he definitely prefers when you are around – but he can handle not seeing you for a while by focusing on the task at hand and just remembering that this separation isn’t permanent.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?).

Similar to what I’ve said before, he says some really harsh things. He has always been blunt and straightforward, but when he’s lashing out at you he tends to make things a little more personal.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?).

Zoro hates losing. Not because he’s competitive or anything but because losing makes him feel weak. Whenever he loses he feels so far away from his goal. To make up for this he works out. He trains and trains and trains until he can no longer move. He will keep going until he never loses another fight.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

Obviously, he shows his hate of Sanji very frequently. The two pirates are constantly arguing and at one anothers throat.

But another thing he hates is people getting in the way of his dream. He agreed to join Luffy so long as he didn’t get in the way of his dream – and if luffy were to get in the way Zoro made him promise to commit seppuku (although whether or not I think Zoro would actually make him do that anymore is a different thing that I could go on about for a while so imma stop there…).

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

Zoro wants to be the world’s greatest/strongest swordsman. It’s not currently a title he can have, however, day-by-day he is getting just that much closer.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

I don’t think a lot is said or done by Zoro in your final moments. He probably whispers a few thank you’s and I’m sorry’s. He won’t mourn properly until he’s completely alone.

[its-r-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s]

The Right Side of Wrong- Ch 1: W-I-C-K-E-D

Words: 2,435

Warnings: nightmares, mentions of gang activity, mentions of death and trauma, stress

A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY!! I’m not sure how many of you were dying for me to start posting again, but frankly, I was. I missed getting feedback from you guys! I’m so very glad to finally be back and able to post actual writing for you guys. As you know, I spent quite a bit of time trying to perfect this story so I really hope you guys enjoy it like you did the first one!

(If this is the first time you’ve seen one of my stories: Hi! Welcome! Feel free to check out my first rewrite, “Call Me A Freak”, for a better grasp on what is going on in this one!)

Call Me A Freak- Ch 1 | Preview | Ch 2

~ ~ ~

I blinked, attempting to register my surroundings. It was just too dark. I could make out the low fog settled around my feet as I stumbled forward. It almost glowed, a light blue-ish, green-ish color.

There were murmurs up ahead. People.

In my hazy determination to find them, I ran directly into something. The top half of my body fell forward, catching myself on the edges of the cauldron.

The steam that emanated from it blurred my vision as I pushed myself away from it. The water inside bubbled and boiled, the same sickly color as the fog around me. As I rubbed my eyes, I approached once more, getting a better look inside.

Bobbing across the top, were dozens of ripe, red apples.

“W-” I could hear someone whisper in the distance. “I-C-”

I turned on my heel, but the sound came from everywhere, surrounding me.

“K-”

I tried to run away from the cauldron, but the minute I was around one, I ran into another.

“E-D.”

I kept running, doing my best to dodge cauldrons and skip over the fallen apples that littered the floor. In a blink, I found myself running through the halls of Auradon Prep.

They were empty. Along the way, a few apples were discarded on the ground, all with single bites in them.

Across the lockers that lined the school, in large purple letters, were the words: LONG LIVE EVIL.

That was my work. It had to be. And my paint.

“Mother always knows best,” the quiet voice came back.

I dashed out of the hallway and down the stairs towards the front of the school.

It was too empty. Too quiet. And too messy.

“Show her. Pass every test.”

The entrance to the school was a mess. Apples and papers everywhere. The Beast statue was defaced with spray paint.

“Hear her voice in your head.”

And flying high over the school was a new flag. An old design which I had long since discarded. A silhouette of my mother, the words ‘Long Live Evil’ in green on a purple background.

“Evil is the only real way to win,” the voice beckoned me.

~ ~ ~

My hands were holding me up, pressed against the Beast statue at the front of Auradon Prep.

I noticed multiple familiar faces within the crowd of paparazzi. Hadn’t they learned their lesson? Hadn’t any of them?

I had been known to shriek, break down, and run off while on camera. A result of sensory overload most often, but it could also be triggered by… uncomfortable questions.

All of my friends had become experts in the art of avoiding paparazzi specifically for this reason. They knew I was still healing and god was it hard to heal when you were also the girlfriend of the king.

So, sometimes, when I needed to be by myself, I wandered alone and that’s almost always where they found me. Photographers and interviewers all desperately looking for a brief word right when I needed space.

They weren’t the best on timing.

“Only three days to the Royal Cotillion!” a young woman exclaimed, shoving a mic at my face. I wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted me to say in response to that, so I nodded, smiling tightly.

“Ever think that a girl like you would be a Lady of the Court?”

I blinked, temporarily blinded by a particularly close shot at my face.

“How do you feel being the most envied girl in Auradon?”

I scoffed, but was bombarded with more questions.

“Okay! All right!” I could hear Ben exclaim, pushing his way through the crowd towards me. I sighed in relief, glad to know that someone would be able to get me out of there. “Excuse me.”

He held a half eaten apple in his hand, which looked suspiciously similar to the ones in my dream. That had been a common occurrence recently: deja vu.

He wrapped an arm around me the minute he reached me. He had on one of his signature blue suits with a gold handkerchief. I quickly turned into his shoulder to regain my composure while the crowd turned on him.

“Did you ever think you’d be with a Villain Kid?”

Ben and I both whipped around to look at the woman who had asked. I bit down tightly on the inside of my cheek as Ben chuckled next to me. Multiple people had gone silent, waving mics in Ben’s face to pick up his answer.

“We’re done here,” he responded politely, grabbing me from the opposite shoulder and leading me away from the cameras.

In a whirl, with perfect timing, as always, Fairy Godmother took command of the cameras, preventing them from following the two of us as we left and asking them to make their exit.

“You feeling alright?” he automatically asked, running a hand over my back.

“Fine,” I said, quickly. “A little overwhelmed, but I’ll be alright.”

“You sure?”

I nodded. “It gets frustrating at times. Sometimes I wonder if they say some of those things just to get a reaction out of me. They want to watch me break and be the villain my mother was.”

“Don’t pay any attention to them.”

“Well, that’s a lot easier said than done, right?”

“I know, I know,” he sighed. “You know, maybe we should do something. We should go somewhere. Get away.”

While I appreciated the suggestion, I was so tired that when I thought of getting away, that included getting away from Ben. I wanted to just have some time to myself again. Some privacy again. I hadn’t seen a moment alone practically since I had gotten off the island.

“Yeah,” I replied halfheartedly, but he didn’t even seem to notice, distracted by his own watch.

“I have a council meeting. I’m so late!” His face pinched in stress. I knew he didn’t want to leave me here, especially after just promising some time to ourselves, but he had responsibilities.

“That’s okay,” I told him. I had gotten really good at pretending like things were totally fine, the Auradon way. On the Isle, if I was upset, I would hide it underneath my anger, but here I had to smile and act like a feather when bricks were weighing me down.

“We’ll do it sometime!” He promised, leaning down to kiss my cheek, but he hadn’t made contact before someone else was dragging me away.

“If we don’t do a fitting for your gown right this minute, you’ll be dancing in your bathrobe, okay?” Evie insisted.

Turns out everyone was stressed, because Evie was never so forward unless something needed to be done. In fact, she was rather efficient nowadays, but all that meant was piling on more work than she needed because she could power through it.

“Hi!” She smiled at Ben, sort of an apology for stealing me away, but if I knew Evie, she was well aware that Ben had stuff to do anyways. “Let’s go. Let’s go!” she sang to me, dragging me towards the dorms.

“Bye, Ben!” I called.

“Bye.”

I stumbled after her, trying to keep up in my heels. Evie was so well adapted to the formal, princess life (mostly because her mother had been teaching her she was royalty since she was a girl) that I looked like peasantry in her presence.

Once we had made it to the dorm rooms, she pulled down the pieces she had made of my dress and had me start fitting sections on.

It was yellow, with blue sequins and accents across the top and down the skirt. Evie had chosen it so that I would match Ben and fit the “Beauty and the Beast” aesthetic of all the events.

Evie began the process of pinning and marking the edges of the dress to be hemmed, where she would close up the back of the dress and tighten the waist. I stood still, my thoughts drifting, as they normally did when Evie forced me up onto her dress stand.

The dress was huge. I couldn’t imagine getting out the door, much less dancing for hours in it. Evie was fairly accommodating to my needs when it came to her designs, but there was also a certain standard that my outfits were expected to meet. I couldn’t just wear anything to a ball like this. Eyes would be on me at all times and I had to look traditional. I had to fit in. The people of Auradon were just jumping for an excuse to make me look bad.

Evie pulled me from my thoughts as she forced my shoulders back, so that the dress would fit me correctly.

I squealed a moment, in shock, but I was cut off when Evie pulled the corset together in back and pinned it there, squeezing my rib cage uncomfortably.

“Okay, Evie? I cannot breathe.”

She stepped around me, going back to her work table. “Well then, you can breathe after Cotillion.” I glared at her and she shrugged. “It won’t stay up unless it’s tight, M.”

“I sincerely doubt that I’ll ever be allowed to breathe again,” I grumbled. “I have at least twenty events directly behind it and I can’t remember what a single one of them is.”

Evie walked around me, pulling out the bottom of the dress to get a good look at it in full.

“Impeccable,” she smiled to herself.

I was glad Evie was getting some sort of satisfaction for her work. I mean, she was constantly designing and sewing dresses now and they always turned out amazing. Everyone was thrilled with her efforts and she was getting paid.

Not to mention, despite all the stress it caused her, especially right now, with the Cotillion so close, she was happy. She loved making dresses for others. It brought her peace and made her feel like she was doing some good for others. And she got to hang out with her new boyfriend, Doug, as she worked.

My eyes drifted away and I noticed my old leather jacket on the coat rack by the door.

I’m not sure why I kept it. I didn’t wear it anymore. Frankly, I couldn’t. My outfits nowadays were kind of expected to reach a level of sophistication. But the two green dragons, twisted into a heart, left a familiar sense of calm.

“Evie?”

“Hm?”

“Do you ever think about what we’d be doing if we were back on the Isle right now?”

I regretted the words the minute they left my mouth.

These dreams I’d been having were unsettling to me. I had read up on reoccuring dreams and how it’s believed they are predicting something. And that terrified me. Not just the empty school and the vandalism and apples, but the fact that my mother was somehow involved in all of it.

“Why do you ask?” she said, seriously.

It was upsetting. Sometimes I felt like everything was going too fast and no one was giving me space. And then the minute I admitted this, I was being babied. My mother had died almost a year ago and still, no one dared mention her name around me.

I just wish I had some time to truly find myself. Once we had abandoned the Isle, the four of us had basically lost any sense of identity we previously had. We were no longer the leader, the thief, the flirt, and the snake.

Evie and Jay had truly found their calling. Evie could practically make a living for herself at this point and Jay was looking into universities to continue playing Tourney at. And Carlos wasn’t completely set yet, but he was relaxed, still messing around with different types of tech and looking after Dude.

I was just trying to survive.

“I’m fine,” I replied, stepping down from the pedestal.

Evie didn’t say anything, turning back towards her work table. I figured she was done at this point and was about to ask her to help me get the dress off when I saw a book on my nightstand, titled The Lady’s Manners.

I gasped rushing over to grab it. I was supposed to run through all of this a week ago, but it had completely slipped my mind. Ben had given it to me to prepare for the Cotillion, seeing as it would be a massively covered event and his parents would be present.

Luckily, my spellbook was also on hand and I had the precise spell for this already marked. “Read it fast, at lightning speed. Remember everything I need,” I recited.

Quickly, I transferred the spell on to the book of manners and began flipping through the pages, running my eyes down the lines to grab any information I could.

“I know Mal’s secret to fitting in and Ben wouldn’t like it one bit,” Evie scolded beside me.

I sent a quick glare in her direction, then continued my skimming.

“Haven’t you guys had enough secrets between the two of you already?”

I rolled my eyes. “What’s the harm, E? These girls around school have had their whole lives to study and learn the ways of a ‘lady’. I’ve had a couple of months. You saw how I was before I started to use magic and it wasn’t good. I was a disaster. I was a shame to Ben and everything his family stands for.”

“You were recovering,” she insisted. “But now, you’ve been talking to therapists, you’re getting your head back on your shoulders, and personally, I strongly believe that this spellbook-” she reached into my lap and took it from me, “-belongs in the museum along with my mirror.”

“Well, it’s hard to act like a person when no one treats you like one,” I grumbled.

“What do you mean?”

I shrugged off the question, changing to subject. “You don’t ever miss running wild?”

“Stealing, and lying, and fighting?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Don’t you miss the freedom of it all?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “M, why would we? Look at us! We’re happy! We’re in Auradon! Where is all of this coming from?”

I shook my head. “Nowhere. Just… wondering.”

“If that’s true,” she answered, briefly squeezing my hand, “then can we please just leave the past in the past?”

I looked into Evie’s eyes as she said that and deeply felt sorry for saying anything. Evie was doing her best to comfort me and make sure that I was alright, but she had some deep scars from the Isle herself. She didn’t want to talk about it unless she had to.

So, I just nodded solemnly.

[rem-is-best-almond]

Thoughts on the Special DwD Event あなたも私もホントはアクマか!？Are you and I both Devils?! (01.05.2016)

After almost 2 years of waiting for a DVD release for this event, I decided to take it upon myself to use Twitter’s shitty search engine to search Event Reports for it and I honestly don’t regret it??? But at the same time it just added to my salt that this won’t be seeing a DVD release anytime soon :))))))

Note: Contains Spoilers, proceed with Caution though since we all won’t be seeing this any time soon or probably EVER, might as well just spoil yourself 8D These are all based off a detailed Report I read on twitter IN JAPANESE about the full event and it’s the closest I will ever get to experiencing it (which I really REALLY want to) so your guess is just as good as mine unless you don’t understand Japanese then feel free to ask me anything :D

THIS.EVENT.WAS.THE.BOMB.

It was a flurry of Emotions even for me, who basically just read a Report for it so imagine if I actually was there???

Basically, you could call this event something that was meant to be remembered for both the cast and the audience and it’s honestly a shame we won’t have anything to remember it by (Except for Event Reports and I’m SOOO thankful to that person who went through all that scribbling on her note pad throughout the whole 2 sessions JUST to write a full detailed report on it, you’re the True MVP) .

Though onto the actual content during this event, they actually went with something like a Musical Short Story with some fun seiyuu corners in between scripts. The event being split into two sessions: Day and Night, have different titles for the short stories similar to how the anime episodes were titled; The Day session was titled “The Charleston of Reminiscence and Dreams” and The Night Session, “The Minuet of Reunions and Farewells”. Though both sessions are basically the same story, they actually have 2 different outcomes. Meaning if you only bought the Ticket for the Day session, you wouldn’t be able to see the other outcome of the story and vice versa.

Like, can you believe it?? That this whole event was basically built on the concept of having a choice like in an interactive Visual Novel and the choice was whether you bought the Ticket for the Night session or The Day session X’DD  Though those who were willing to pay for twice the price for both Tickets get the best of both worlds and Avex (The main organizer) gets them ticket sales yet doesn’t release a DVD for the Event :))) (I’m salty OK?)

Back to the topic at hand, you can say that this short story was something like a mildly self aware alternative timeline set after the events of the anime that was also the producer’s personal crack fic… with its own good and bad end…yeah, this was wild but it was a good kind of wild and everybody cried at the end (Of the Night session that is, details coming up) so :’D

Here’s a summary of the story…or basically the whole story www:

The story starts off with Lindo narrating about the life of the Tachibana family four months after the events of the Anime ( Which is around the time of this event, Avex you genius), he and Ritsuka continued going to school whereas Maria continues her career as a Translator. Lindo apparently still trains his exorcist skills but of course, hopes that he wouldn’t have to use it again. He then talks about the atmosphere around the school being lonely, noting how lifeless the school’s greenhouse was, or how there wasn’t anybody kicking down classroom doors now, or that weird student flying up and down from the third floor,neither is the pomeranian that was constantly yelping nor that weird chorus that came out from the Third Library every time he passed by it, but most importantly how there wasn’t signs saying “Mushrooms are strictly prohibited”  around the school compound anymore, other than that, life was fine and dandy for this Siscon. On Top of that, Ritsuka’s frilly apron was officially his now as he’s mainly the one doing the cooking in the house www

Meanwhile in the Demon realm, Glax calls upon Rem and gives him a brand new mission to accomplish and that is *drum rolls* to host a Radio broadcasting program and win the heart of all the civilians in the demon realm to vote for him as king now that Maksis is revived wwwwww Urie and Mage wish Rem good luck and were off to spend their own leisure time before he pulls them back and says that Glax wanted the four of them to host it wwww Urie tries to find an excuse saying that he was busy preparing for a party with his butterflies and Mage says that he had to give his underlings Training until Shiki, being the one that actually doesn’t mind joining, chimes in and says that if they hosted the Radio Program in the middle of the night, the broadcast tower in the demon realm might just be able to transmit its signals to the Human realm as well which means that Ritsuka might be able to listen to their program and Urie and Mage were officially in with the group lol.

They then proceed to think of a Title for their Program and decided to go with Shiki’s idea: All Night Makai (Basically All Night Demon Realm www). To which Mage, Urie and Rem (Rather adorably) say out the title in a rather confused tone, splitting the three words in random places among the three of themselves until Shiki got annoyed and asked if they just hated him that much that they aren’t including him in their mini charade and the three of them say that there’s just a weird sense of Deja Vu as if they had experienced the very same thing somewhere… like this was another timeline. The four of them ponder about this with Urie noting that it’s probably true as he had caught wind about how the activation of the Forbidden Grimoire had caused several Parallel worlds to occur which resulted in a confused Mage as he struggles to keep up with their ‘foreign’ language though still mistakes Jikansen (Timelines) for Shinkansen (Bullet Train) in Japanese LMAO. Rem basically explains the game mechanics of the DwD game describes it as two different doors that lead you to several outcomes depending on which door you choose and Mage finally gets it by saying that “It’s just like a Game!” (To which I snickered cause this level of foreshadowing is glorious).

The four of them got back to coming up with a content for their program and came to a conclusion that they’d each do their own mini segments: Urie’s lectures on “Amor” : A sure way to gain the heart of your beloved’ (Urie has some glorious English www) , Rem’s “I’ll tell you what really happened back then” (in which he tells you something you didn’t know about certain scenes involving him in the anime lololol), Mage’s ハジゲテイッチャワ(whatever-the-fuck-those-Katakana-actually-mean) NIGHT and Shiki’s ‘Are you shivering with excitement tonight?” (Where he attempts to make you go ゾクゾクす��ね～ with him). The program ended up being a success and managed to rake in a 90% rating but Shiki just had to pour cold water over the other 3 saying that it’s because they’re the only Radio broadcasting program in the Demon realm LMFAO. The four then pondered about whether Ritsuka was able to listen to their midnight program.

Back in the Human realm, Lindo decides to listen to some Radio after completing his daily exorcist training and actually comes across their Program but doesn’t recognize any of their voices and isn’t able to catch the pun in the Title wwwww. He thinks of letting Ritsuka listen to it but it dawned on him that she was having a sleep over at Azuna’s and laments that it’d be a long night without her XD At Azuna’s place, Azuna presented Ritsuka with an assortment of Creampuffs from Ritsuka’s favorite pastry shop, Aspiration  (In the night session, Azuna’s showing her newly bought pink pajamas instead) when she suddenly sighs in relief much to Azuna’s confusion. Ritsuka confesses that she had a nightmare where she dreamt of Azuna dying protecting her and was just glad that it was all just a dream ;;; Azuna says that she’s had the same dream too and wonders if it’s something that happens in another Timeline ( geez, I wonder :”))  ) but tells Ritsuka if that were true, she wouldn’t regret a single thing about it, because Ritsuka’s her precious friend. Ritsuka responds saying that she too would do anything to save her if Azuna ever got into trouble. Kaze no yokan starts playing and Ritsuka and Azuna took turns singing each verse, ending it with a duet during the final altered verse of the song.  

The scene changes back to the demon realm and Mage has some big news for the other 3. He heard news about the Forbidden Door connected to the Human realm (I’m assuming it’s the Gates of Gehenna?), which was said to open only once every 99 years, was going to be open in a few days and says that he’s jumping on the chance to go back to the human realm. Urie and Shiki decide that they’re going too but Rem hesitates, saying that there isn’t a reason for them to go there ;w; ( Boy was probably worried about Glax being furious at his departure…) The others urge him to be more open about what he truly wishes for and this is where the script cuts to a session featuring exclusive monologues for each boy (including Lindo), talking about the what ifs of their relationship with Ritsuka (kinda disappointed that the monologue was the same for Rem in both sessions but eh whatever, he had a solo performance at the end after all lol) . The session ends with the Reprise version of Mademoiselle (which had the same arrangement as the one sung by the stage play cast in the first musical, slow and rather bittersweet).

Rem finally decides that he really wants to go see Ritsuka (after 4 months of not seeing her XDD) but rejects Urie’s idea of fooling his father into thinking that they were at the broadcast station by pre-recording their weekly radio program (in the Day session, he agrees to go along with it) and instead says that he’ll try his best to inform his father about this straightforwardly. At night, the gate finally opens and the four of them enter it while hoping that wherever they end up at isn’t a threat to their lives =v= (Shiki on the other hand wants that to happen ww) The four of them ended up arriving back at the third library and the music for Warewa Shikou Gakuen Setokai starts playing (cause why the hell not). Meanwhile, Lindo and Azuna are on their way to the third library after witnessing his exorcist pendant glowing brightly and as Lindo puts it: ‘Fiercely saying “Say Yes!”’(Yeah, wtf lmao) when Ritsuka comes running after them, saying that her king crown was glowing too, much to Lindo’s dismay as he had told her to stay at home wwww. The three of them burst into the library and came face to face with the four devils, much to Ritsuka’s joy as she happily greeted all of them but of course, Rem first :3 The trio immediately surrounded her (before Rem could get to her I assume www) and are onto their usual banter about who she had wanted to see first but is warded off by Azuna’s holy water (reference to episode 8 www) lol. Lindo whines about Ritsuka not listening to him by choosing to chase after them and the trio chirped about how that’s so Ritsuka lmao. While they’re at it, Rem and Ritsuka reconcile with each other and Dance with Destinies starts playing, before being cut off after the first verse as Rem proposes that there is another way that they could be together.

Day Session Ending: Before Rem could make a decision, Glax bursts into the scene, furious that Rem tricked him. It’s revealed that Rem’s excuse for not being able to obtain the Grimoire was because he chose to help a human, which Glax already considers a punishable sin so finding out that it wasn’t only a human but the grimoire itself, Glax drags the four of them back to the Demon realm, saying that he would engrave it in Rem’s body to never do such a thing again as an Arlond ;;; Ritsuka is heartbroken but Azuna and Lindo reassure her that they would definitely meet again someday. We then cut to a scene where Rem laments about how weak he was for not being able to confront his father about his decision  and vows to be stronger so that he could see her again someday.

Night Session Ending: Dance with Destinies starts playing again at the fourth verse and the lyrics are adapted for Rem. He chooses to live as a human beside Ritsuka and the trio note how he has changed and are amused at what possibilities the future would have for the 2 of them. Lindo (Hatano Wataru was unexpectedly crying at this point lol :”) ) asks if that was even possible, and Urie tells him that there’s actually plenty of devils living in the human realm in the guise of regular people and points to the crowd below the stage XD Mage then exclaims to the crowd that from now on, they’re Rem’s senpais when it comes to living in the human world ( AWWWWW). Shiki notices Lindo crying but he denies it and says that it was just his holy water and tearfully says SARUBESHII LMFAO (This part was mostly an ad-lib because it was unexpected www). The story comes to an end as Rem promises Ritsuka to never let her go no matter what and that the both of them will walk together towards the future.

Ah, what can I say, this short story (yeah, short XD) was actually pretty fun and filled with all sorts of emotions. The thing that I’m most surprised about is how Timelines were brought up quite a few times in this story and they even managed to have it related to the activation of the Grimoire. I liked the fact that it was self-aware that it could be a different Timeline on its own (which it was, judging by how Azuna was alive in this story and its rather cracky moments) and honestly thought that it was much more ‘Timeline -themed’ than the movie was even though the theme of the movie was supposed to be “Timelines”. The nods towards the game’s existence and how the different routes in it can also be described as timelines was honestly creative imo and it’s just such a shame that the movie didn’t utilized this concept. Although the songs were mostly reused, I liked the fact that some of the lyrics and music arrangements were adapted to fit the current situation and I thought that it was a pretty smart move by the producers to maintain a sort of live musical feel to it. The only disappointment I have is that I wish Ritsuka had more dialogue and that she’d be the one to narrate the first few lines of the story instead of Lindo. Like I want to hear her thoughts on life after the events of the anime and of course her thoughts on Rem and the others being gone, it felt that she had more of a passive voice in this story and I can’t help but wonder if it’s the producers attempt to not make the story ‘too’ RemRitsu inclined but eh, at least we got a live duet lol (I’ll just hope that they’re saving it for a more serious sequel, let a girl dream). Another thing worth mentioning in this story and probably my most favourite part of it, is the relationship between the four devils. They had so many comical dialogue with each other it’s hard not to love them in this story :3  I also really liked how Lindo narrated the story at the beginning with how oblivious he is about why those things were missing in school www. This is especially hilarious if you know just who those quirky habits belong to =w= Glax and surprisingly, Holland (in Rem’s segment of the radio program) do make an appearance in this story but only as voice recordings, to which I wonder who voiced Holland lol (I hope it’s Subaru =v= ).

As for the seiyuu part of this event. there was actually a segment in between the script where they had to respond to comments from the fans in the audience and decide whether they’re a human or a devil in the day session wwwww , whereas they had to respond to comments about the anime in the night session (Reader: Hatano Wataru). I found it pretty sweet that they actually try to make out who was the person that wrote the comment in the crowd and acknowledge them especially that part where Souma asked a fan if they’re saying her pen name right www (They were debating whether it’s said as U-S-A or just usa lol). Like I mentioned in my summary of the story, Hatano Wataru cried during the finale of the story but managed to stabilize his voice when he was singing Unmei no Coda and BL(U)CK BASIS (short versions of both) right after. He explains that the reason for his tears was that he thought that scene with Souma and Himika was beautiful (He’s such a proud senpai ;w;) so everyone starts calling him Mama Lindo lolol (Souma: Okaa-san? XD). The final cast comments came after Pentacle’s version of Kakusei no air (Which actually has an official recording but it’s only available in the 1st volume of the BD for the anime :”D) and things got emotional for everyone, especially Souma as he started crying during his turn ( He was kinda holding it back all this time) ;;; I actually translated his comment but I haven’t posted it here so here it is:

;w;

Honestly, it’s really such a shame and an even bigger Mystery as to why this Event didn’t have a DVD release. So much heart was put into it only for it to remain as only a memory OTL  At first, I thought it was mainly Rejet’s problem but turns out, it was Avex who was the main organiser and I’m just so???? Though I jokingly think that it’s because the cameraman forgot to record the whole event so they couldn’t make a DVD =v= I honestly hope that isn’t what really happened though cause it’d be really 何で神様？！ORZ and I’d feel really bad for the Cast cause the songs that they only get to perform once live didn’t get recorded , to think that Souma really wanted a DVD release as well…

Overall, this event was indeed a special one and I’ll forever be salty that it won’t be having a DVD release nor an official recording album for the event-adapted songs. Why wasn’t this the movie instead?

[hotdogjumpingfrog5]

It’s Strange - Chapter 2

Previous Chapters: One

~

Nancy realized she hadn’t hung out with Johnathan and Steve during lunch since Friday. It was now Tuesday. They probably miss her by now. She had completely forgotten about them altogether, unless outside of school, Nancy had been spending the last few days with Emma. Nancy had been telling them she had something to study for, as her excuse. Even though it’s been a few days, she felt she needed to go back to hanging with them during lunch and stuff. Nancy was thinking she should probably introduce her to Johnathan and Steve, considering she was relatively new, and the fact they were starting to know each other. “So, I was thinking, maybe tomorrow would you like to come to the cafeteria and meet my other friends?” Nancy asked Emma accepted, and was slightly nervous too. What if they know about those rumours going around about me? Emma would think, what if they’re not going to like me? Or think I’m strange? The bell rang, and they both went their separate ways off to class. ~ Emma came home later that day, somewhat more relaxed than normal. “How was your day?” her mom would ask, “You look very content.” “I am.” she smiled, “I’ve been speaking to people.” “Well that’s good,” said her mother, “Coming out of your shell, are you?” “Guess you could say that.” Emma chuckled “Who would wanna be around you?” Lucy sneered, “Public school is full of chavs.” Their mom gave Lucy a look Lucy turned away, sighing. “Grow up.” Emma muttered under her breath “Emma…” their mom said calmly She also turned away, away from the sight of her older sister. The two weren’t fond of each other, and Lucy would sometimes criticize the fact Emma went to a public school, unlike herself. Hundredths of millions of people go to public school, piss off Lucy. Emma thought, You’re in college now, what the fuck you think you’re getting on with? You’re 19, get a grip. Not only was Lucy a bossy sister, who acted like their mum even though she was only two years older, but she was still not adjusted to this whole moving from England to Maine, she had to leave her friends and stuff, and that explained part of the reason Lucy was bitter. ~

The next morning, Nancy and Emma decided they were going to catch the bus today, and considering Joyce had borrowed Johnathan’s car for the day. She walks up to the Wheeler’s house, and knocks on the front door. A kid with rather thick glasses opens the door. “Who are you?” Richie scoffs “Your worst nightmare.” Emma replies, and Richie runs off into the other room. Nancy walks out from the kitchen five seconds later. “Oh don’t mind him, just one of my annoying twin brothers, Richie.” says Nancy She leads her into the kitchen, and says “And this is another one of my annoying twin brothers, Mike.” Mike rolls his eyes and says “Don’t you have anything else better to do than interrupt my breakfast?” “Eat somewhere else.” Nancy insists Mike huffs and scarfs down the rest of his cereal angrily, then left the kitchen. In comes in their much younger sister, Holly. “And this is Holly.” Nancy grins Holly looks at  for a few seconds, then whimpers, for whatever reason. Similar to the type of whimpering when she saw Eleven sneaking past the Wheelers back when Mike kept her hidden from them. That’s when Nancy remembered the number on Emma’s wrist. 007. She calls out to Mike, only to see him and Richie dash out the door, catching their separate busses. Nancy huffs, now she won’t be able to ask about Eleven until later. That’s who Emma reminded Nancy of. Eleven. They acted so similar, except Emma said more words, and they both appeared to have a number written on their wrist. There is no way this is a coincidence. Thought Nancy ~ When Nancy and Emma hopped off the bus, Nancy lead them to where Steve and Johnathan normally hang, which is by the bulletin board next to the side doors. As a matter of fact, almost right next to the same place where Nancy had first got a glimpse of Johnathan. She remembered seeing him with his head hung low, putting up a missing poster of Will. While her ex best friends made the most rude comments about Johnathan, Nancy looked past that and approached him that day, in attempt to comfort him. She couldn’t believe this all happened a year ago. Nancy now dating who her friends thought was an outcast, Steve even used to taunt Johnathan. A year later, they’re like brothers. “Hey.” says Nancy “Hey there.” Johnathan replies, giving her a hug “Who’s this?” Steve asks, looking at Emma Nancy introduces Emma to both Steve and Johnathan, and they both appear to like her as well. “So, are you from England?” Steve asks “Yeah, how could you tell?” Emma asks “That accent, I like it.” Steve smirks, “So, you’re new here?” “Guess you could say that,” she replies, “I came here late last year, in March.” Nancy and Johnathan both shared a similar expression to their faces. They had a feeling Steve was taking a slight interest in Emma. But she didn’t appear to feel the same way, or could tell for that matter. “Right,” says Emma, “Guess I’ll see you guys at lunch?” They all nodded and said their goodbyes, while she went to class. Johnathan looks at Nancy. “Hey, Nancy, does she remind you of someo-“ “Yes, that’s what I was going to tell you guys about.” she said “What do you guys notice -“ Steve asks, but then the bell rings Nancy could tell by the look on Johnathan and Steve’s faces that they were wanting to know, but Nancy assured them they would discuss it at lunch.

~

Bill Denbrough lay asleep in bed. He woke up to the sound of Mike Hanlon snoring. Bill looked over to his side, and saw that it was 3:15 am on Thursday morning. He also had a strange dream that night. He saw It. Nothing happened though, all It said to him was “I was this close to catching your brother. THIS CLOSE!” But then the dream abruptly ended, and Bill forgotten about that dream real quick. Mike was asleep on the floor, stayed over at Bill’s that night. The previous afternoon, Mike came over after school to keep an eye on Georgie, while Bill’s parents were at work, and Bill was undergoing speech therapy. Mike stayed over for dinner, and hung out with Bill for the evening. Mike was reluctant to go back home, he wasn’t in the mood to listen to his grandfather criticise him about not being in the butcher shop. Bill was reluctant at first, but then they decide Mike pretend he’s leaving, then crawl up through the window, without Bill’s parents’ knowledge. He knew they would kill him and lot let anyone into his room or even house, except for Georgie. Bill reflected on what happened a year earlier. He kept seeing another Georgie, an undead Georgie. He told his parents, but they only got mad and convinced him he was “crazy”. Georgie himself thought it was kind of funny. But Bill didn’t. He knew exactly what he saw that summer. Then, he heard it. “Bill! Come into the kitchen!” Georgie shouted. Why the fuck is Georgie yelling at 3 o’clock in the morning? Bill wondered, hearing that frightened the life out of him, especially being deep into thoughts. He wondered why their parents weren’t going out there telling him to go to bed. Bill jumped out of bed, confused. He slowly made his way by the staircase, then took a peek in Georgie’s room. Georgie was sound asleep in his bed. Bill’s eyes widened, and looked downstairs in horror. It was pitch black. “I said, come down in the kitchen!” Georgie’s voice was now insistant. Fuck, not this again! “Bill, what’s the matter?” the voice behind him made Bill yelp out in fear. “Mike, don’t s-s-scare me l-like that ag….ain! Can you h-h-hear that?” “Hear what?” Mike said, half asleep. “Can you keep it down, I’m trying to sleep.” Georgie came out, also half asleep “W-w-weren’t you d-downstairs?” Bill asked “No,” Georgie said, confused, “Stop being strange. If you and Mike don’t keep it down, I’m telling mom and dad you’re here.” Georgie promised not to tell their parents that Mike snuck back in. Both of their parents would be unlikely to see Mike, since they got up for work around five. “Fine. Bill, let’s go back to sleep.” Mike said, not wanting to get caught. Bill wasn’t sure he wanted to go to school the next morning, he was all of a sudden feeling sick. He wasn’t sure if it was from fright or something he ate for dinner, or both. ~ That same night, the Byers had woken up around 3:30 in the morning. Before, Will was awoken to the sound of voices. Voices he hadn’t heard in a long time. This was after he woke up from a strange dream. It’s been almost a year, and now he was dreaming about this. The upside down. All he could see in the dream, was a cold, dark, damp, isolated spot, far from everyone else. He saw a man in the dream. He couldn’t see his face. This scared him so much, he woke up. Will woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. He heard a voice. A strange voice. More than one now. More like whispers. He didn’t know who it was or where it was coming from. He looked around the room, paralysed with fear. “Mom? … Johnathan?” Will said, voice shaking. “Will…” said the voice He was too afraid to answer back. Then, out of nowhere, the man with no face appeared right in front of him. Will screamed. His mom and Johnathan awoken to the sound of their son and brother screaming. Confused and scared, they both ran out of their rooms, Joyce making it to his room first. By the time they got there, they were shocked. Will was completely out of it, his eyes were rolled to the back of his head. “Oh god,” Joyce gasped, “Johnathan, I think he’s having another seizure!” “Well what do we do? Bring him to the emergency room??” Jonathan asked, confused and scared. Their mom agreed, and they carried Will out to their car, making their way to the hospital. After an hour or so of waiting, Joyce was frantic. “So, what’s wrong with my son??” she asked “Looks like your child is going through what looks like severe epilepsy.” said the physician, “We may have to keep him here for another six hours, to undergo more tests.” Joyce saw that it was already 4:37 in the morning. “Johnathan, go back home. Take the car with you to school.” she said, and handed him the keys. “But mom, what about Will? What about you? I don’t know if I can -“ “Just go!” Joyce insisted Johnathan sighed, and made his way out the doors. He knew he wasn’t going to sleep that night. Johnathan laid awake in bed when he got back. It was now 5:08 am. He was worried about Will and his mom. How did their mom expect him to go off to school like that when they were both in hospital? Well, they said it would be another six hours. So maybe it won’t be too bad. Johnathan thought. He turned around, sighed, and closed his eyes. ~

Max looks out the window of the car, with the trees flashing before her eyes.

She looks to the left, and Billy, her rude as fuck step brother is going 40 km over the speed limit.

“The hell you think you’re looking at?” Billy says

Max rolls her eyes, and doesn’t respond.

“Thank god you now go to a private school. That way I don’t have the responsibility of bringing you back.” Billy says, now turning up into St. Peter’s parking lot.

Max steps out, and Billy speeds in the school zone.

Almost hitting a few third graders, and the principal yelling after him.

Max flipped the bird after him, as usual.

Max was already a week or two in, and she didn’t mind it. No one cared how you dressed, because everyone dressed the same in their uniforms. The age range goes from kindergarten to grade 12.

The only thing wrong was the fact she wasn’t with her friends from back in Hawkins. Some of the kids were snobby, especially this one kid who always called her out on weird shit.

She sat by the window on the second floor, right next to a marble statue of the Virgin Mary, watching other kids come into the school.

Max always kept to herself, she sat in this same spot every morning and lunch time, speaking to barely anyone. Not only was she a tad bit shy, but she couldn’t be bothered to interact with others, she never really fit in or had the same interests as the other kids.

No one could ever understand her like Lucas, Dustin, and the others. She missed seeing them every day, at the same time, she didn’t mind having alone time.

Besides, she was going to be seeing them this weekend anyways. And hopefully the others from Derry sometime. Mike and Richie brought everyone together, considering they were twins, and the fact they went to different schools.

Max reflected a bit on the last time she met with the Losers. Alongside from Lucas, she also mixed well with Stan and Ben.

“First, you hang with that black kid? Now a Jewish and fat kid? The hell’s wrong with you?” she remembered her stepbrother Billy saying “And TWINS,” he pointed at Mike and Richie, as well as Eddie and Ella. “And another kid who stole MY NAME. Fucking copycat.” he pointed at Bill Denbrough. “The zombie boy, that strange girl, toothless, that other black kid, whose family burned in hell. Good thing that Beverly slut is gone.” Billy said while pointing to every one of the losers and stranger kids. She remembers everyone keeping silent, not even Richie said anything, nor did Eleven bother to use telekinesis, that’s how scary Billy was. They were all angry on what he said about Beverly. How did he even know about those rumours? “Leave them and myself alone. I’ll find my own way home.” Max would say. She knew Lucas would give her a lift back. Billy chuckled, knowing he would be unable to take on all twelve of them. “You’re all a bunch of freaks!” he laughed, “You’re all going to die out here!!” Then, sped out of there.

“All alone now, are you?” a snaky voice interrupted Max’s thoughts.

She turns around and sees Kevin, that stupid rich kid who started picking on her

“What do you want, Kevin?” Max glared.

“How about do yourself a favour, and look like a girl, like everyone else in this damn school.” Kevin laughed.

“How about no?” Max said

“Jeez, you’re worse than my cousin, and he’s in public school, that explains why you don’t look so good, you came from Derry or Hawkins or whatever stupid school you came from.” Kevin sneered

Max looked back out the window, hoping he would just go away.

After a few seconds, he finally did.

~

Ben had woken up very early that morning, making his way to the library almost two hours before school started.

He got an early start on his history assignment, which wasn’t due for another two months.

As normal, he went in and collected a few books each time.

He was the only one in there, besides the librarian.

Ben glanced over at the staircase, which he hasn’t even thought about going near since he saw It. That mummy, or whatever It was.

Something caught his attention outside when he gazed out the window.

In the isolated road at 7 am, stood a man with a suit. Just staring in Ben’s direction.

From a far distance, he couldn’t see the man’s face. It appeared to be covered with something, but he just couldn’t tell. He wasn’t sure if this was some early Halloween joke, few days after the first day of fall.

Ben tried his best to ignore the figure, but he could feel the man’s gaze staring at him, from a few floors down.

Five or so minutes had passed, and the figure was still standing in the street, not moving.

The figure did something very odd, which sent goosebumps all over Ben’s body.

It waved.

“Ben..” he thought he heard the figure, or another voice say

He couldn’t help but inch closer to the window.

“Aren’t you going to say hello back?” said the voice.

Ben ran to the librarian’s office, and told her to go look

But by the time they got to the window, the man was gone.

She gave him a strange look.

“I could’ve sworn he was right there!” Ben said, panicked.

“I think you may have woken up a bit too early.” said the librarian.

The entire walk to school, Ben was confused on what he just saw.

He walked up to the losers, who were hanging outside. Everyone except Bill and Mike (who was homeschooled).

“Hey, where’s Bill?” he asked

“Sick,” said Stan, “He called my house this morning and said he wasn’t feeling well.”

Stan looked around at the rest of the Losers, and there was five there including himself.

“Guess this means I’m the leader for today.” Stan said

“I think my willy is the leader of this gang.” said Richie

Everyone in the group, of course, gave Richie the ‘That’s disgusting!’ look.

“Oh my god Richie you and your dick jokes!” says Eddie

Stan just stands there, shaking his head, then changed the subject.

“Right, so are you guys still coming over to study for that science test today?” Stan asked, looking at Ben and Ella

They both agreed.

“What time again?” Ella asks

“4:15, then Sunday at three.”

Ben was going to tell the about what he saw that morning, but was reluctant.

He couldn’t be bothered to this hour of the morning.

Maybe the librarian was right, Ben thought, maybe I did wake up too early. 

~

Next Chapter: Three

[49scribes-a]

{--Everybody in this stream was fucking HIGH.--}

He's either also cold or he's going through withdrawals, one of the two.

No he's having a seizure

STOP BOUNCING DEAK

All those burnt corpses look like bacon to me

Crispy dragon-charred bacon

Human jerky

I’d love some jerky rn

Id push you

BACKFLIP BACK FLIP

you're a COWARD. GO TO THE TOP

NO

EMBRACE THE JUMP

EAGLE JUMP

jfc

theres a hay pile at the bottom waiting to catch you. youll be fine

because physics works for you in this game

t his isn't assasin's c r e ed

yes it is. right?

Wrong game

that's what we're watching?

theres is clearly hay

i see parkor

hay and parkour= ass creed

exact

HRDCORE PARKOR

lavi looks like a hobbit ngl. i mean deak

hes gonna steal the ring from gollum

can u see the eye of mordor

hes carrying it

it is

jump. you'll live

Holy shit I survived

TOLD U

the eye of mordor is mobile now

it was great

7/10

TOLD U UR IL CHILD BEARING BONES WOULD CATCH YOU - THEYRE SPRINGY AND RESILIENT

U did it

congrdeurtions

am i having a stroke

Ashdjsjdk

idk - were all varying seconds behind of each other. so mavbe

Who keeps a deer pelt with bread smh

makes sense

That’s why they all sick in Skyrim

the deer pelt is surprisingly sterile

can't have the babes

its the most sterile thing in thie fucking game

you're right

i cant believe deak is aa hobbit

idk if its gonna keep your bread all spongy tho

just wrap it tight. it'll be fine

I mean it was stale so probably not

and your breads gonna tste kinda funny

tHTAT'S PRETTY

SKYRIM IS PRETTY

Noice

AESHTETIC

I CAN TYPE I SWEAR

straight up

r U havin' a stroke?

mE VISION KEEPS BLURRING

I wanna go somepe similar to skyrim, take up residency in n bandoned castle. spruce it up

go to europe

and then pretend im a ghost haunting it when visitor come

they have random "castles"

tHAT SKY THO

SCREEN SHOTS. NICE. GOOD CHOICE

I dont want [castles] I want C A S T L E S

we all have dreams

sweet dreams are made of thiiissss

My dream is to be able to spell astetic

who am i to disagree

you men bees

Asthmatic

mean*

travel the world and the seven seas

Jesus Christ

aesthetic?

Yes that one!

antsthetic

I wanna lick the sugar candy in the sky

Aesthetic !!

antstetic?antstatic?ant static

aunt stacy

A e s t h e t I c

that sounds like something Ant-Man would say

sunnylantern gets it = w=

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUND UN DUN DUN ANT MAAAAANNN H A

Why is that corpse thiccer then I am

duran duran hungry like the wolf

wait, I missed the corpse

we have to go back for the corpse

go back for the corpse, tho

leave NO man behind

you mean jeky

jerky*

no it's jeky

nO

okay, I thought I saw a shadow back there and it looked like a werewolf

we do not waste jerky

Bacon

Mmmmm Bacon....

bc u cannibals wanna eat them

it might have been

don't waste good meat

jfc

Meat is meat

meat is meat. yes

they dead they don't care

exactly

bacon is delicious as hell

MEAT MEAT MEAT

HEATHENS

sos jerky

ALL OF U

U'R A HEATHEN 2 DON'T PLAY COY

scuse you - were pagan

i'm an angel

sounds fake

idk what ur talking about

wOW

it does sound fake

Im pure so I mean

We're all heathens

sounds fake

we're all heathens yes

all my friends are heathens

take it slow

take it slow

(twenty one pilots voice) all my friends are heathens-GDI

TOO SLOW.

TAKE IT SLOW

LMAO

wait for them to ask u who u kno

please don't make

i forgot the damn lyrics

any sudden moves

any sudden moves

AAYY

pfffbbbbt

u don't know the half of the abuse

Y’all remember all that smh

XD

hell yeah man

it catchy

Can’t even remember my middle name

s AM E

same

adopt a child. it's time

tbh - replace remembering our names with more important infrmation, like musical lyrics...people use those alot

my middle name is simple as heck. it's only 3 letters

adopting children usually doesn't go well; just look at doug

dic

Hige. No.

ann

but

No

Mine is four and yet :->

dick:smiley:

mine is 5 letters

NO. Dicks.

mINE IS FOUR

yep, that's my middle name. u caught me

mines four too

Ahsjdjdjd

Maybe we all have the same middle name

i'm Liz Dick now

LMAO

Liz dick taylor

'cause we all have the same middle name

has a nice flow

it does doesn't it?

not me

i'm proud of my name

mine is 3 letters

naw. it's Dick now

its four now

Nope, it three

FINE. Dic

ass

U CAN BE THE HALF SSED DIC

there u go

Hjssjjs

oh yeaaaa

sounds like that's yours, isa

OOOHHH

wow

DANG

: )

SNAP

isa ass

isass

has a ring

ees ass

isa sass

Eat a ss

thees assthesis

isa's ass

prometheous

you're all terrible

w he e z e s

WHERE DO U GET THAT. FROM ISA ASS.

rhymes with thesis

prometheass

that name makes me uncomfortable

I want that as my new name

hahahahahah

Prod the a sa

i blame the movie and all the movies that's connected to that one. I get nightmares

don't worry i'll protect you

really tho, me middle name means darling in french so

aren't u special

i'm an angel

meanie

all of u can fight me

u'r an angle, isa

ur no angel, isa

My middle name is from my great grandmother

I was named aftar a slutty country singer. and a car

PHHHHTTTT

i was named after *no one*

a car and a country singer. fuck me

my middle name is Spanish

lucky

QUESO

i'm hispanic and my middle name ain't hispanic :confused:

UR MIDDLE NAME IS QUESO

THREE LETTERS, HIGE

KSO

3 LETTERS, HIGE

osHIT

I'm hispanic and all my names be hispanic

THAT HAPPENED

the kink cavern

the falling cavern

u and deak gonna kink it up in here

WHy

wait ....still children in this. nvm

because it's expected

Looks like stds grow there ngl

deak is a child. cover his eyes

WH A T. WHERE DID THAT GO TO. WHY IT COLLAPSE JUST NOW

See that’s the stds falling from the roof

you guys are behind me, my gosh. that happened like 10 seconds ago

too much sex in this ramshackle place

No one cleans that place

no one needs to. don't get paid enough for that shit

its the jizz....it gets between the cracks and degrades the foundation

between teh /cracks/

KEK

Can’t people f uck in the bed like normal humans

naw son. too vanilla, they get bored

i

omg

wow

Back in my day we used beds and called it woohoo

this is not SIMS

back in my day, we got in bed and wrestled

i'M CR YGIN

AGSHDJSJ that’s where all my sex ed comes from shdjsjd

Back in my day we fucked on the floor like REAL MEN

WHOA NOW. CALM URSELF

COVER THINE EYES, CHILDREN

Crying my lord

I'M TOO ACE FOR THIS

YOU BETTER BE PRAYIN TO UR LORD AND NOT CRYIN

back in my day, we walked 4 miles with ONE FUCKIN' SHOE

relatable

and we shared between 5 of us

Through the snow

ok but same

bc I ate the other shoe

gdi hige

hige thought it was jerky

I did

it was jerky

Must of burnt it

Anything chewy nd tough is jerky

ye bro. learn from hige

...skin?

def

ye

n o

y e

skin is the jerkiest of all

And I’m the one that needs to pray

and the people are jerky, too 'cause they're jerks sometimes

Take the pot

smoke the pot

^^^^to both

I mean-cogh

dO NOT SMOKE THE POT. JFC HIGE

taste the pot

smell the pot

be the pot

BE the pot, yep

be the pot

It’s pn legal now

why are you HERE

smoke that khajiit drug thing

why did you come back to the kink dungeon

DO IT

we're all pots now

i'm a potu'r a pot

we're all pots

or drink it, i don't remember what it is

moonshine

Does the room smell like pot?

I put a pot on me head and nw im a pot head

. . .

IT'S ALL OGRE NOW

I...

y did u make me read that with my own 2 eyes

wait wrong reference

NO

-leaves-

That’s a bad ref

i h8 isa

whe ez e s

Nasty

i'ms or ry

Talk about HEATHEN

go sit in the corner and think about what u've done

u'r no angel

they cant, the corners are mine. all of them

fuckin' share

u already knew this, liz

i did

I Still remember that video like tbwas uesterdyayb

lucifer was an angel too

Was

yesterday

T'was

luifer is still pretty hot I hear

Gdi

SHUT UP

-eye brow wiggle-

omg

hoNHON

EIFFEL TOWER

ur banned from my next stream, hige

BAGUETTE

NO TEW2 FOR YOU

EIFFEL TOWER

NO. PLS. ILL BE GOOD

BAGUETTE

The Eiffel Tower reminds me of something else but idk why

B A N N E D

ILL CALL YOU MASTER AND WEAR A SHOCK COLLAR AND EVERYTHING

goodbye hige

PLS

doug's got that eiffel tower dick. bye

-pBFT

that pill dick

Hm.

i'll see myself out

more like

Wait was there an anime with an Eiffel Tower :thinking:

there was a show with an eiffel tower. and a lady bug,and a cat, and moths

chaat noir

it was cray

Miraculous Ladybug

Nah thinking of something ten times as traumatizing

wow u guys got it

sCREAMS

y that

o 3 o

sCREAMS TOO

But it might of just been a Tower

I watch it every now and then

are u sacrificing deak to the old gods

and the new

the new season?

gotta go fast. gotta go fast

Are u making jerky

OH new gods

gOTTA GO FASTER FASTER FF -FF-F-F-F-F-FASTER

honey you've got a big storm comin'

SANIC X

I was singing that during one of my streams

u didnt stutter over the Faster part. it doesnt count

I did tho

i have to go make jerky

this music still makes me think of South Park Stick of Truth

pats gently

Sleep is for the weak

And i. Am v weak

whimps. sleep is for the dead

grnted. we are all very dead inside already so....

Guess y’all better get me a coffin then cause imma be sleep in an hour probs. Maybe two. Depends on how much my dog wants to piss me off tonight

SCREAMS THO I FINALLY GOT A FIRE STARTED AND IT CRASHED

LMAO

Rip fire

RIP KIT

no fire

It burned too bright

only suffering

tiger tiger burning bright

Face the dark and cold like a dragon

fuckin capitilism

U can do it kit. Build that fire

How do u skill up in camping ?

Desk looks short.

Deak*

no. hes desk now

he's always been desk

your kindling loks like dog turds

They do I know my dog turds

ive stepped in enough dog shit to know my turds

I’ve picked up enough dog crap to know mine

baaah

Except those look like old ones. All cold and dried out

why do u need the fire anyway

Warmth, light, happiness

DEAK WAS STRANGLING A RAT BEFORE IT CRASHED

Yuh oh

I HEARD ITS LIL ANGRY RAT SOUNDS

The rat crashed the game to live

Rat god

rat ruh raggy

Why kill a werewolf when u can date kne

This little meter shows wet and cold. Gotta keep em down.

thats bswe all know lavis always wet bc hes a horny rabbit

IAHSJSJSJS

I mean u know rabbits...

Wear a coat and u will be warm

gotta hump like theres no tomorrow

Sex keeps u warm..I think

Actually I don’t know:thinking:

id imagine to bodies that sit at 98 degrees F while doing nthing get pretty hot when pressed together and doing activities that raise your blod pressure

thats like a 400 degree sauna right there if my maths right. pretty toasty

....that makes me wanna never do anything cause Thats HOT

goodsex is bad - its how babies are made and we dont want none of that

Condoms are a thing

so are holes and accidents

Ajsjsjsj being gay means no babies

Why do u think Im here

W o w

U

bruh

They’re happy accidents

Tru, Hays where the other half of my sex ed comes in. One half is sims the other is p orn

they are good teachers. pornhub is good to us

Yeah on what not to do I found some kessed up stuff. That’s where I found that shrek video

Spongeknob squarenuts

I can honestly say I have seen worse. Anime p orn is another layer of hell

And then there were three

Wow what a cool dog

THE THREE AMIGOS. THE THREE MUSKETEERS. NOW WITH LESS BLACK SPOTS. or was that treasure island-squints-

That was treasure island

Wood looks so crunchy

I read moby dick, the three musketeers, treasure island, huckleberry fin, tom sawyer and a few others but. fuck me if I remember them in their entirety

I read that as “I read my dick” and I was very concerned

wood - the original forbidden fruit

DEAK GT TURBERCULOSIS

Is that a naked man

prbsi mean this is sex dungeon

My god. Worst kink

why two lil kids re crwling around it giving themselves aids is beyound me

This is the least sexy sex dungeon let’s be real here. No mood lighting, cold. No r and b music. Where’s the pizzazz

maybe they played music on the bones

Yeah cause that’s sexy//

it is if ur a skeleton fucker in the undertale fandom

Do NOT. I have nightmares about that fandom

I can no longer look at a naked anatomical skeleton in all casual and comfort anymore

Wow really just moved the money for that gold

Honestly seeing them with dicks that are blue and glowing is just. V bad. I have seen so many things. and every time I see an actual factual human skeleton now. its all I see

I’m glad are the men here in this dungeon are napping so well

and I am very uncomfortable with naked skeletons

Aren’t all.:.skeletons naked ?

Guess they are wearing skin...

Deaks hair is Cheeto colored which is honest such a look:tm: you rub your hand through deaks hair. your fingers come back stained with neon orange dust

Cheeto dandruff

whose playin the meat sticks again

what

i heard the meaty slaps

i still hear them

alright. go gather your quotes you quote whore

[ficdirectory]

The Fosters: Our Thoughts on Episode 4x14 “Doors and Windows”

Another twin recap by @tarajean621 and me.  Look for her comments in italics below:

Especially Jude, Who’s Taking Really Long Showers These Days if You Know What I Mean:  Brandon!  Ew!

You Used to Fight Us So Much About Taking a Bath and Now Look At Ya:  Hahaha!  Stef!  Now I can’t stop picturing little Brandon.

I Don’t Want to Go to School. I Don’t Want to Go to Therapy/You Don’t Want to Do Anything.  Enough With the Melodrama.  Let’s Go:  Wow, Stef.  Dismissive much?  Mariana’s obviously having a tough time.  While I get that school is not optional, she needs to feel heard.

The Last Thing I Need is More Stress:  Lena, if you, Stef, Brandon, Callie and Mariana are all upstairs and Jude left, who is downstairs with Jesus?  Also, I’m more than a little uncomfortable at the fact that this episode seems like it is going to be all about everyone else’s stress (which is, apparently, Jesus) :(

Don’t They Have College Courses in Prison/I Have an Idea!  Why Don’t You Take the SATs For Me!/Wow.  Juvie’s Hardened You:  OMG Brandon and Callie!  Hahahaha!

I Just Wanted to Be Upstairs with Everyone:  The isolation is real, guys.  We see physical isolation in that the entire family is upstairs, leaving Jesus alone downstairs.  Normally?  No big deal.  (And probably why no one thought twice about it.)  However, Jesus realizes upon attempting to climb the stairs that he is literally cut off from his family.  (Which becomes even more poignant later in the episode, when Mariana verbalizes a memory from early childhood wherein the twins were abandoned in their crib for a day or more.)

With something like a brain injury, it is impossible to come to terms with all of the ways it will impact you.  In Jesus’s mind, he is perfectly capable of climbing the stairs.  He has been able to do so most of his life.  So, being forced to confront his physical limitations here is crushing and frightening for him.

Also, the show has made sure that we do not forget about PERSONALITY CHANGES that can occur post-TBI.  AGGRESSION.  The truth is that emotions in general are closer to the surface.  So, we see Jesus cry here.  And the family rallies around him.  

Note: In real life, a subsequent head injury is a very real concern.  Technically, Jesus should be wearing the helmet we see later all the time, now that he is ambulatory (but unsteady).  If this were real, the first question asked would be, “Did you hit your head?” And even if the answer was no, a trip to the hospital would not be out of the question.

Jesus Fell Down the Stairs This Morning.  Well, Up, Technically.  I Think He Really Wants to Get Back In His Bedroom and Out of That Dining Room.  It Gets Pretty Lonely Down There:  How devastating, especially knowing what’s coming up as far as the reveal about the twins’ past.  Mariana totally gets how loneliness could drive Jesus’s actions here.  Her adding, “It gets pretty lonely down there,” shows that Jesus’s feelings are reasonable and that they make complete sense to her.  It’s not like, “Oh, Jesus was ridiculous and tried to climb stairs by himself when he shouldn’t have.”  These two don’t handle being alone well, which, given their early history, makes complete sense :(

This is About You.  You’ll See:  Mariana’s pretending hard that everything’s okay while she’s talking to Emma.  Both these girls have masks in place so hard.  Emma’s obviously nervous saying she’s not pregnant, which makes me worry that she is.  And Mariana’s just using to her Smart Voice hardcore to get through the day.

I Hate You...Shut Up:  Imagine walking into room, and not realizing that it is actually a live rock show.  The intensity of the music through the amps, so loud you can feel it.  The crowd of people.  Flashing lights.  Colors.  Smells.  Screams.  Applause.

Now, imagine that you’re expected to take a final exam while you’re there.

Seems pretty ludicrous, right? 

But this is what it is like after a brain injury.  The ability you once had to seamlessly filter information is compromised.  So, while neurotypicals like Lena and the therapist are able to carry on conversation and focus on what needs to be done, someone like Jesus struggles.

The activity in the room, extraneous conversations and other noise, the bright colors, fluorescent lights all assault Jesus’s senses simultaneously before PT or cognitive therapy even begins.

Now, lets add another layer.  Jesus is sitting on an exercise ball trying to balance while contending with his right-sided tremor.  (During a live rock show.)

He is simultaneously using free weights - again, while contending with the tremor.  (During a live rock show.)

Also, Jesus has to pick out the therapist’s voice from the sea of other noise. Listen to him.  Process what he is saying.  And follow his instructions. While sitting on the exercise ball and using the free weights.  (During a live rock show.)

Then, the therapist introduces flashcards. :/

Aphasia can also affect a person’s ability to identify letters.  And reading is also an act of filtering, believe it or not.  

1. Jesus may or may not recognize all of the letters in the word boat.  (I had trouble identifying/saying letters that had similar counterparts, like b, d, g, p, q, m, n, u and w as well as those that I did not use frequently such as x, y and z.)

2. He may experience all of the letters in the word rushing at him simultaneously. (Because of an inability to filter.)  This is understandably overwhelming, and it can impact Jesus’s ability to pause and attempt to read the word.

3. Most importantly, Jesus realizes that he should know this stuff.  Not all that long ago, he would have been able to accomplish everything asked of him easily.  He is not unaware of that fact.  So, he is understandably embarrassed and crushed.

And the live rock show plays on.

Again, we see that the stress of therapy has limited his speech:  

I hate you could mean This is hard / I hate having to struggle through things I used to do easily.

I’m done first and foremost means that for the moment, he is done and needs a break.  It could also mean I’m embarrassed to have not been able to immediately recognize and read the word.  

No means no.

Shut up (responding to Lena’s “Honey, you can do this”) could mean No I can’t / Listen to me / Respect my limits.

This is the hardest part of the scene to watch.  Lena is attempting to encourage Jesus, as the neurologist recommended.  

However, both of the adults in the scene have failed to listen to Jesus.  He drops the weights and says “I’m done” - a clear message despite limited speech - I need a break.  He is immediately countered by the therapist that not only does Jesus need to read the boat flashcard, but a full 5 sets of flashcards when he is already at his limit.

He says no, which Lena follows up with “Honey, you can do this.”  Which is well-meaning and also ableist.   He clearly could not read the card in that moment, so she is not respecting his limits or the fact that he said no. 

They take a break after Jesus yells.  Not when he says he’s done.  And the break is clearly for the adults, who promptly leave Jesus in the care of an aide of some sort, so they can procure coffee and/or vodka.  

What is Jesus’s break like?  Does he even get to leave the room? (x)

Also, I just rewatched 4A, and in particular 4x09, (the episode where Jesus finds Stef’s journal and reads what she wrote, that Lena didn’t want to adopt him and Mariana.)  We can see it affects him by how abruptly he closes the journal and tries to hide it from Mariana, and the way in which he tells Moms what is upsetting Mariana.  It is obviously affecting Jesus, too.  This discovery is in the episode before he is injured, and while we know that Lena followed through with Mariana and went into more depth about where she was coming from at the time, Jesus was not included in this conversation - though it applied to both twins.

While he is in the coma (4x12) we can see just how big his fear of being abandoned is.  He dreams his family moved and left him behind, with no forwarding address.  Little Mariana is there, cautioning and trying to protect, but there is no sign of actual Mariana, no other sibs, and notably, no Moms.  Lena plays a very specific part in his dreams, too.  She is actually physically there and he follows her, at one point, and keeps trying to get her attention, but she never turns around.  Most difficult, when Jesus dreams of being at Mariana’s funeral, Stef says, “It’s all your fault,” but it’s Lena who says, “We wish it were you.”

To me, these things indicate, Jesus has a lot of unresolved feelings and fears specific to Mama.  To have her walk away and joke about needing a drink now that Jesus has this brain injury?  It speaks so directly to his fears of her abandoning him.  It’s every (older) adopted kid’s nightmare.  To have our deepest fears of being left confirmed.  She is walking away.  And Jesus may feel like now that he is struggling with so many things, and having honest, big feelings about it, it’s gonna be too much for Mama to handle.  And maybe she won’t love him anymore.  Being disabled and adopted is so complex.  And adoptive parents are not immune from saying and / or doing things that reaffirm our deepest fears that we will no longer be loved or wanted, because that is what our experience of parents tells us is the norm. This fear always exists and being disabled (for an adopted child) can seem to give an adoptive parent a concrete reason to stop loving us.  To leave us.  Even, to mistreat us.  (x)

How Long Is He Gonna Be Like This?  Lena asking this question and being met with explanations by the PT about “outbursts” and Jesus’s “short fuse” ignore and dismiss Jesus’s perspective.  

This is also the first moment in the episode where we stay with the caregiver POV, instead of with Jesus.  We see that Lena and Tomas both dismiss Jesus’s anger as a symptom, instead of a legitimate reaction to his treatment and circumstances.  The crying earlier was not seen as a symptom, however.  Comfort was given in that moment, because crying is seen as an acceptable reaction.  Disabled people are generally pitied by society, and it is expected that we pity ourselves.  Disabled anger is rarely viewed as valid.  Our public existence is linked inextricably with how we make nondisabled people feel.  We are, in many instances, viewed as objects of inspiration.  If we cry, a nondisabled person can comfort us and feel good about that.  Being in the vicinity of anger, though, does not feel good.  And as such, it is often dismissed as an overreaction or a symptom.

$300,000/It’s a Small Price to Pay to Keep Callie Out of Prison:  Okay, but wow, Robert.  That’s so much money.  Plus, it’s gonna really suck if you end up thinking Callie should move in with you because you did her this favor or something.

Sophia and Callie Look So Similar, Maybe He Got Them Confused/Did You Break Into Doug Harvey’s House?  It just got real, Callie.  And Stef has zero patience left because if the DA finds this out she is going to jail for real and Stef thinks maybe it’s what Callie deserves.  Then she takes it back and says she doesn’t mean that.  These two are so stubborn.  Callie needs to let Stef handle this.

I’m Done/One More Time:  Oh, fine motor tasks.  How I loathe thee.  Jesus is painstakingly separating coffee beans from pennies, and I feel for him.  Because we see clearly that, with brain injury recovery, the therapy literally never ends.  Not only is the task tedious - it’s boring.  And it is complicated further by the fact that it is actually difficult for Jesus to do right-handed, which is super embarrassing in and of itself.  Never mind that Lena and Emma feel the need to hover and/or supervise such a mundane exercise.  So, something that already makes him feel excruciatingly self-conscious quickly becomes unbearable the moment he makes a mistake in front of two people he feels he needs to impress.

With so much of the day scheduled within an inch of its life, it is no wonder that Jesus jumps at the opportunity to get Mama out of there and goof off a bit with Emma.  I love seeing them able to just breathe and enjoy each other, and that Emma does not try to “parent” Jesus.  

But Mama is not happy when she comes back.  And when Jesus says, “I’m done,” it is once again disregarded.  :(  The AGGRESSION does not come out of the blue.  It is communication that Moms actually acknowledge.  

Also, it is nice to see Brandon respect Jesus’s body language and resist the urge to help him up the step when he leaves.  

Hey, You Know, I Got It:  Here we have the second time that a choice was made to stay with the caregiver POV rather than with Jesus.  Isn’t it interesting how, in this moment, Brandon is able to see that Lena needs a break by taking her nonverbal cues?  He gives her the space she needs, and even offers to further accommodate her by taking Jesus to therapy the next day. 

When is the First Time You Remember Feeling Powerless?/Jesus and I Were Babies:  We just watched a podcast about PTSD and EMDR yesterday, so it was really interesting to get to see Mariana do EMDR here.  

The therapist asks Mariana what feelings she had when she discovered Nick in her room with the gun.  Mariana says she felt scared and powerless.  He asks if she has ever felt that way before.  She says she has.  A bunch of times.  Like when the robotics team turned on her and when her mom got shot and they thought she was gonna die.

Then he asks about the very first time Mariana remembers feeling powerless and she describes at time that she and Jesus were babies.  They were in their crib, crying and calling out for their mom but she never came.  They waited a day, maybe longer.

Though Mariana and Jesus are very much separated in this episode, each dealing with their own stuff, and even though their stuff is different, it is bringing up the same feelings for both of them.  In Jesus’s case, dealing with medical trauma brought back his early feelings of being abandoned and feeling responsible for Mariana, as we saw in his dream in 4x12.  And in Mariana’s case, Nick hiding in the house and pulling a gun on her triggered feelings that date all the way back to when they were babies.  

It’s Okay.  My Therapist Gave Me Permission.  I’m Taking My Power Back:  Mariana is hanging a sheet in her bedroom doorway here because she feels powerless having no privacy, so she is changing that.  She tells Moms this is not about them, this is about her.  And that her therapist would like to meet with them tomorrow at 3:00.  Mariana assumes that they will be too busy but says that her therapist assured her that since Moms love her they will make time to come in.  Lena says they will, and Mariana says if they have further questions about her privacy, they can discuss them then.

The thing that leaps out at me the most in this scene is that how clear Mariana is about her boundaries.  Putting them up physically and making them with Moms even in terms of the conversation.  She does this, though, with her Smart Voice.  With her reflexive smile.  Both are like armor, that she is clinging to.  (Likely because she does not feel listened to when she is vulnerable and honest with Moms.)  Mariana needs them to take her seriously, so she goes over their heads here, and does not give them a choice.  It all feels a bit manipulative, too, which is not surprising, given just how little she and Jesus could trust adults to take care of them as babies.  She is used to using manipulation to get her needs met, to a certain extent.  It’s a survival skill that she has not totally lost.

I’m Not Your Bro: Brandon, your cheerleading is super annoying.  And “Actually, you are.  Or did you forget that, too?”  Inappropriate.  (But so true to life.)  A little tip for our readers?  Don’t be like Brandon.  To insinuate that someone is in brain injury rehab because they “forgot” how to perform certain tasks is so minimizing.  Because what Jesus is doing right now is not “remembering.”  He is actually retraining his brain.  Forming new connections, making pathways around the damaged areas.    

It is such a delicate balance, because you do want and need support in rehab from family and friends.  However, you feel embarrassed to your very core to be working on such basic things.  And everything everyone says feels condescending, so it’s almost intolerable having people watch you.

Jesus tells Brandon to go away, and miraculously, Brandon listens.  (PSA to the family: If Brandon can do it, you can too!)  

HEALING IS WORTH IT!  DON’T GIVE UP! We spotted this lovely (sarcasm) poster as Brandon is walking away from Jesus.  In this one, a person is standing up victoriously from a wheelchair in the sunshine. We’d like to know what it implies if an injury means you must use a wheelchair to get around?  (Giving up?  Not trying hard enough?)  Also, where is the super ableist store where these awful posters are procured?  Ew...

Senior Project/What’s It Supposed to Be Now/A Cell...Like Solitary Confinement:  The 45th iteration of Callie’s senior project and it’s a doozy...

I Didn’t Know You Knew About Construction/You Would’ve If You’d Asked:  Right, AJ?  Callie, you weren’t shy about asking Aaron what he knew about construction...

Just Wondering if I Could Ask You Some Questions About How to Help Jesus:  While I think it’s great that you’re asking about music therapy, Brandon (possible avenue for you?) how about you ask Jesus what he needs from you instead of asking everyone else how to rewire his brain?  I’m sure his answer would be much different than theirs, as well, considering that it seems like he just wants to be connected to you guys and not so isolated.  Everybody is so afraid to ask him questions and I feel like they could learn so much if they did.  Also, we are not sure how we feel about Brandon outing Jesus to the music therapy student here.  While it is assumed that patients here are recovering from TBI, and Jesus did tell Brandon to go away, I’m not sure he’d like knowing you talked about his injury to a perfect stranger...

TODAY, I’M TELLING MY TBI I’M IN CHARGE!: This is an actual poster in the music therapy room.  Because, you know, it’s that easy.  And all disabilities can be cured by the power of positive thought. (Meant to be read as sarcasm.)

You Made Detective...Human Trafficking:  Wow, this would be a shift for Stef!  Also, I’m not sure how I feel about Captain Roberts encouraging Stef to keep quiet about whatever might put her career in jeopardy but I guess for the moment I’m relieved.

Jesus, That’s Great!  Emma, Not So Much:  I love that this scene is included.  We see Jesus and Emma both engaged in playing Row Row Row Your Boat, where Brandon could have asked Jesus to play it himself.  But there is so much less pressure this way.  Brandon gives feedback to both and is not afraid to correct Emma.  Being able to succeed at a task gives Jesus a much-needed sense of accomplishment, which is rare in the days of brain injury recovery.  Also a plus?  Music feels fun and less like work.

From My Perspective, Mariana Exerts Her Will on All of Us, Pretty Much All The Time/I’m Glad You Used Those Words, ‘From My Perspective’:  Ooh, ouch, Stef.  Mariana’s therapist just got done telling you he thinks she has PTSD and that she’s reexperiencing feeling powerless at home, and that’s what you’re going to say?  I feel like Moms could probably use therapy, too, to be honest.  I’m glad the therapist is there, guiding them through this so that Mariana knows her feelings are valid.

We Can Never Assume That Our Perspective Is the Only Perspective.  Which is Why Communication is So Important:  So true.  OMG.  Her therapist is so wise.

Bedroom Doors Aren’t the Reason Kids Shut Their Parents Out.  Lack of Trust Is.  Trust That You’re Going to Hear Them.  Trust That You’re Going to Respect Their Feelings Without Assigning Your Own Perceptions to Them:  This is also so true.  Very true for me, at least.  And I’d imagine it’s really hard for parents to listen without letting their own perceptions get in the way of hearing and respecting their kids’ feelings.

We Encourage The Kids to Talk to Us All The Time/And Then You Call Me Melodramatic, and Make Me Feel Like My Problems Aren’t as Important as Jesus’s Injury...Maybe Their Problems Are Bigger Than Mine/Honey, Don’t Do That.  Nick Held a Gun to Your Head:  I love this exchange between Lena and Mariana.  How Mariana can clarify how she feels about being called melodramatic and that it literally makes her doubt the validity of her feelings in front of them.  Lena can see that and cautions her about it, reminds her that her feelings do matter.

Treat Every Child Respectfully, So We Can Earn Their Trust, and Hopefully Then, They’ll Share Their Secrets:  Do you hear this Moms?  Every.  Child.  Respectfully.  Including your son in the living room, Jesus.  (Oh, gosh, who is at home with Jesus????)  His injury does not exclude him from deserving your respect.

I Thought It Was Mariana/She’s at Therapy:  So, Brandon’s home, but doesn’t know Emma’s in Mariana’s room and Brandon doesn’t know that Mariana’s at therapy.  So he doesn’t know Moms are at therapy with her.  Again, I ask, who is with Jesus?  I get that he does not want to be stifled all the time but it seems that the only people home are on a completely different floor of the house and no one seems concerned that he has no way to reach them if he needs something.

Did Jesus Yell At You?  You Can’t Take That Personally.  It’s Just Because of His Injury.  It’s Like He Has No Filter:  Exhibit #554992 - Jesus’s anger is not legitimate.

No, He’s Never Yelled at Me:  Look at that!  Maybe it’s because you treat him like a person, Emma!

Something I Need to Tell Him and I’m Not Sure That I Should/Is It Something You Can Tell Me?/I Think You Already Know:  Emma, yes you should tell Jesus.  If it concerns him, he deserves to know.  And Brandon, just because Emma isn’t sure she should tell Jesus doesn’t mean she should tell you.  This is not your business.

Stairs: This is a blatant excuse to further the plot by having Jesus witness something he is unable to contextualize due to his physical limits.  We see him struggle to do something without proper accommodations or safety precautions.

I Don’t Wanna Be a 16 Year Old With a Baby.  Is It Horrible If I Don’t Tell Jesus?  I’m Just Afraid That in His Condition, This Would Be Too Much for Him to Handle:  So, first things first: your body, your choice, Emma.  But you are taking the choice about what Jesus can handle away from him.  Let him decide what he can take.  I’m pretty sure that lying to him is going to make him feel so much worse than the truth.  You were the one person he could count on who treated him, for the most part, like a friend and not a parent.  This is gonna be so awful.

I Think It Would Be A Lot For Jesus to Handle Even Without the Brain Injury:  Not your call to make, Brandon!  Though I do appreciate that he didn’t just cite the injury as the reason not to tell Jesus.

You Have Too Much Makeup On/God, Jesus/I’m Tired.  You Should Go:  Emma urges Jesus to read a get well card, and Jesus drives her away by saying something mean.  He is understandably too embarrassed to admit that he’s having difficulty reading.  Dream!Emma did tell him, “You’re too dumb for me,” after all...

Take Detective.  Not Gonna Give Up on Gray and Malloy, I’m Just Gonna Do It From the Inside: Well, that does not sound reassuring, Stef.

Doors Are Not Really The Issue.  Trust Is. Which We Are Working on Developing.  But No More Secrets: Stef, I’m glad you and Lena put the doors back on, but it’s not as simple as expecting the kids not to keep secrets when you guys are still working on developing trust with the kids.

Incapable of Expressing Herself/Paranoid/Dangerous/She Was Defiant:  It’s only now that I can actually see that Callie’s senior project has facets of all of her previous senior projects, which is pretty cool.  She included the pictures of herself that she gathered/has as well as the ones she took of the houses she stayed in, plus the pages of her file up on the cell wall with these words in big type.  How stark and sad.  To reduced to your behavior without taking your motivations into account.  (Kind of exactly how the family is treating Jesus.  Everything about him now is coded through “brain injury” and that stops them from considering all of the valid reasons Jesus could be reacting as he does.)

So Tired of Secrets, So Toxic, Let’s Start Telling Them:  Mariana changed her Twitter handle and she just told the whole Twitterverse that she stole her brother’s ADHD meds.  (Though, perhaps this is a separate account and more anonymous, which would be good.  Keep taking that power back, but don’t forget to respect your fam’s privacy, too.)

Card:  We finally get Jesus’s POV!  And it is so effective.  He attempts to read the card from earlier while alone in his bed, steeling himself beforehand.  And the letters on the card move, mix up and blur as he looks at them.  I hypothesized that something like this may be happening earlier in the recap, and aside from the blurring, this is very similar to how reading was for me in the beginning of my recovery.  

So little is in Jesus’s control at this point in time that he wants to rip the card up.  But he knows that destroying it will not change what he sees.  So, he resorts to physically covering his eyes while breaking down.  

No one is there for him in this moment.  He is as isolated physically as he is emotionally.  No one can understand the fear he’s feeling.  So real.  So powerful.  Jesus’s recovery is far from over, and unfortunately, there will be many more instances of loneliness and isolation to come.  Not to mention the long journey toward self-love and acceptance in the face of a life-changing injury.

For more: Fosters Recaps

[plasmachaos]

About the Mun

Tagged by: @branch-chief--faba​ and I think someone else tagged me- if you did I’m so sorry but I’ve lost the mention post ;m;!

Tagging: @blazing-kitten-litten​ @plasma-grunt--regina​ @tigernightfury14​ @lightning365​ @trainercolress​ @kawaiigoth13​ @beautiful-lusamine​ @pyroarofghouls​ @champofpallet​ @lysandre-of-flare​

[And anyone else who wants to do it, consider yourself tagged! Those who have been tagged don’t feel obligated to do this! :3)

RULES: answer the questions and tag 15 (lol how ab out 10 tho) blogs you want to know better.

Nicknames: In RL: Ali, Al, Ali-Baba (though this one is often to annoy me XD) Online; Sooty, Soots, Shivu, Shivvy, Plasma

Star Sign: Virgo

Height: 5 ft 6 or 7?

Time Right Now: 22:33

Last thing I Googled: ‘Is cream cheese the same thing as soft cheese’

Last Movie I Watched: The Electric Piper- it’s one of those ‘lost media’ films that I saw on a list by blameitonjorge on YouTube :3

It perked my interest because it was the only one of the list that wasn’t really a part of a long-running series

It’s decent, I guess! Kinda like a more child-friendly Footloose in  a sense and, of course, based on the story of the Pied Piper

Last TV Show I watched: Animal Cops Houston, I think?

When did I create this blog: September 2013! So the blog is, what, 4 years old now? 

Why I choose my URL: Well originally it was shivuthewolf! Yes, for some reason people are surprised to find out Shivu was also the name of my fursona- and is still the name of my fursona! (come on guys, it’s right there in Shivu’s profile)

(Essentially there are two Shivus- the wolf, and the human. Why? Because I don’t see the point in making two different characters who are going to be exactly the same in personality anyway!)

I changed it because the blog was originally going to be an art blog related to my comic but I changed my mind! I thought Plasmachaos was the name of one of the Team Plasma themed TCG decks, but upon looking it up it’s not? 

So I’m not sure where it came from!

Gender: Male.

Hogwards House: I don’t know? I haven’t read Harry Potter though I’ve seen the first three movies numerous times (mum loves them)

I think Slithereen is the bad one right? So... The good one?

Pokemon Team: In Moon? Mismagius (Missy, Lv. 69), Toucannon (Pedro, Lv. 67), Alolan Muk (Diesel, Lv. 69), Primarina (Zero, Lv. 67), Jolteon (Cheetah, Lv. 66), Magmar (Firestorm, Lv. 65)

Wanna know the meaning behind the names? Of course you do!

Missy- Name of one my sister’s cats (she now lives in Canada- the cat I mean!) and also makes sense cos of the Pokemon’s name

Pedro- Name of the red-crested cardinal in the film Rio (who looks similar to the bird Pikipek is based on)

Diesel- as its colours are based on oil spillages 

Zero- I believe someone drew a picture making connections between Popplio and Zero from The Nightmare Before Christmas? :3 That’s why!

Cheetah- Based on the electric cheetah-wolf of the same name from Arevn92′s comic Chakra

Firestorm- a typo from the book series Warrior Cats in which a character is supposed to be named Firestar

Favourite Colour: I really liked bright colours! Blue and yellow are my favourites but you add red to that you got a raINBOW MY DUDES

Lucky Number: Call me uncreative but... 7? 

Favourite Character: Honestly I have too many to mention! I like so many characters for a variety of reasons- though its usually the hyper ones I will be honest XD 

Number of Blankets: On what? My bed? The sofa? The ferrets hutch? Either way it’s a lot

Name: It’s a secret I tell to people a lot but SHHH 

It’s Alex

Birthday: September 21st

Siblings: One sister and one brother (both older)

Favorite Smell: I like a lot of sweet smells? You know, vanilla, chocolate, gingerbread, coffee (I guess it’s subjective on whether or not that’s sweet but still)

But there are a few smells that bring back memories for me! Musty smells remind me of my grandparent’s house (before we moved in!) and always gives me a sense of adventure as it’s how our attic generally smells (and if you know me, you know my attic is a great source of adventure)

That and stew (or just onions and meat being cooked) always reminds me of just home! x3

Pets: Two fuzzy noodles (ferrets) but if you want to get technical as a family we own two dogs and four cats (two extra if you count my sister’s cats)

Wake Up: Generally 8am- my aforementioned brother has severe autism and goes to a day centre and as I’m his sole carer I’m the one to get him ready in the mornings :3

Sleep: *snorts* early! About 9 or 10... Okay, 11... Fine! It’s more like 2am!

Type of phone: Motorola! Don’t ask me which type

I used to be so knowledgeable about phones but now I’m just like “it’s the one where I can touch the screen and magic happens”

Love or Lust: FOOD No okay, I’ll say love XD I honestly think it’s a very important aspect- not just in a romantic relationship but also in any friendship! Okay, that sounds mushy but for real- platonic love homies!

Lemonade or Tea: LEMONADE 

Cats or Dogs: BOTH

Coke or Pepsi: Both is good but I prefer Pepsi

Day or Night: BOOOOTH

Text or Call: Both? 

Make up or natural: I don’t personally wear makeup but I think whatever makes you feel more comfortable!

Met a Celebrity: If I did I didn’t notice. 

I know I’ve met a few members of the Belfast Giants (the ice hockey team who plays here, they often visit the cafe) and I didn’t know who they were but one of them mentioned they played ice hockey and one of my co-workers slung his arm over my shoulder and goes, “Hey I’ll bet this guy here could take you on!” Me, again not realising these guys were professionals, agreed and proudly stated I could beat all three of them in a game Only after did I realise who they were but they seemed to find it funny! XD

Smile or Eyes: I just got a weird image of like nothing but a mouth and eyes and I’m scared ;w; Erghh I think eyes? Frequently I can tell a lot about someone by their eyes!

Light or Dark Hair: Idk man, either or 
 Shorter or Taller: WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME ALL THIS I guess shorter? But why? Who is this? My ideal partner? My crime fighting buddy? My post apocalyptic friend?  
 Intelligence or Attraction: I don’t knooooow 
 Chapstick or Lipstick: Please let me go home, my family misses me and I miss them

City or Country: BOTH 
 Last Song Heard: Bolt OST it’s a song now shut it

Fruit or Vegetables: FRUIT

Anime or Cartoons: Both? Though fun fact; I used to hate anime! :D 
 Phone Case: None, it’s just black XD 
 Showers or Baths: We only have a shower- I prefer to get the deed of washing done and over with asap so that’d be what I’d pick anyway XD

Dream Job: I’d love to work in an animal sanctuary! But sadly, no such paid job exists in my country and I can’t really move away because of obligations to my brother :(

Milk and Cookies or Doughnuts and Coffee: BOTH BABY

[republicstandard]

Kill Your Baby at Home. Doctors are Finding Abortions too Traumatic

The abortion industry is in trouble. Big trouble. If you run a hospital you need doctors. If you run a slaughterhouse you need butchers. If you run an abortion abattoir you need doctors who will double up as butchers.

It’s a bit like the execution industry in countries that still have the death penalty. They just can’t find good staff. The profession of executioner is a highly coveted specialism and since the jolly ol’ days of Albert Pierrepoint, England’s longest serving hangman in recent times, kids in India and Zimbabwe are specializing in programming computer strings rather than in knotting ropes for the noose.

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I was reading about Pawan Kumar, who learned his trade from his father and grandfather—I’m not sure if there is a hangmen’s caste. The Indian government pays him a retainer of £30 a month to be a registered executioner. When he’s not stringing up vicious murderers and rapists, Kumar sells shirts from the back of a bicycle in the north Indian town of Meerut.

So far this is one profession feminists haven’t infested. So, Kumar doesn’t get harangued on Channel 4 by the likes of Cathy Newman asking him why there are no hangwomen or female executioners. Naturally, Kumar’s job is also safe from the bile of bellicose gender gap activists. But Kumar’s son wants to study banking and in a country of 1.2 billion people, prisons are struggling to find hangmen.

Zimbabwe is having similar problems. Chikurubi prison has been trying to fill the post of hangman for five years and 50 men are on the waiting list but there’s no one willing to hang them. Again, there’s horrible sexism in the applications process—not even equality of opportunity, let alone equality of outcomes—and the advertisement in the Zimbabwean Daily News categorically states: “The hangman’s job is reserved only for men”. Zimbabwe needs its own battalion of feminists in pink pussy hats.

So we return to the killing industry in our green and pleasant land of Britain. The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists is urging Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt to allow women to kill their babies at home. Wales and Scotland already allow DIY baby-executions so why not import the Carry on Killing series into Ye Olde England as well?

One in three women are already having abortions and surely the queue must be very long if you can’t find doctors who are willing, a la Pierrepoint and Sons to do the excavating, hacking and dismembering of a woman who has the right to choose because it’s her own body, er… um … except it’s not, or she’d be dead, not the baby.

So if doctors are not applying in droves to be butchers, the mother can finish off her baby by popping two pills, mifepristone, and misoprostol, between 24 and 48 hours apart. The abortion starts within 30 minutes of taking the pill. And when the pills have done their magic, simply flush the baby down the toilet. It’s simple. It’s cheaper. It’s a great victory for womankind.

The government has acquiesced to this barbarity. By Christmas 2018 when the country is celebrating the birth of Jesus, lots of non-virgin Marys and Elizabeths will be popping their pro-choice pills and flushing their babies down the bog as the Salvation Army band outside their window plays “Unto us a child is born”.

But why are many doctors deciding to call it quits? Why are the men and women in white coats not willing to do your dirty work any longer?

In America, medical colleges are opting out of abortion training. In a 2005 survey of U.S. medical schools in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, only 32 percent of respondents said they offer a formal lecture specifically about abortion, and 23 percent reported “no formal education” about abortion at all. In the same survey, 55 percent of medical schools reported that they offered students no clinical exposure to abortion.

Then there are doctors who are “conscientious objectors” for religious or moral reasons. There are also pro-life humanists and atheists who condemn abortion as murder using scientific and philosophical arguments. According to the report Unconscionable: When Providers Deny Abortion Care (2017), there is evidence of “a worrisome and growing global trend of health care providers who are refusing to deliver abortion and other sexual and reproductive health care”. Over 70 jurisdictions around the world, including 21 EU countries allow “conscientious objection” in providing abortions.

In Italy, 70 percent of obstetrician-gynecologists are registered with the Italian Ministry of Health as objectors to abortion. In the UK, one-third of those training and 10 percent of obstetrician-gynecologists object to abortion, and in Hong Kong, 14 percent of physicians are objectors.

But even those doctors who do not have religious or moral objections to abortion are now backing out because of the traumatic effects of abortion. Dr. Rachel M. MacNair in her book Perpetration-Induced Traumatic Stress: The Psychological Consequences of Killing has a chapter on doctors suffering PITS as a consequence of performing abortions. These doctors suffer from symptoms associated with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

MacNair poses the same questions to “medical personnel involved in euthanasia or abortions, Nazi officials in the discharge of their duties, researchers whose experiments may harm subjects, and those who kill animals”. Her research is nuanced and non-judgmental and does not push a moral line on abortion. She is careful to cite only pro-choice doctors and nurses in determining the effects of trauma on medical personnel involved in abortion.

“I have fetus dreams, we all do here: dreams of abortions one after the other; of buckets of blood splashed on the walls; trees full of crawling fetuses,” MacNair quotes abortion nurse Sallie Tisdale. “There are weary, grim moments when I think I cannot bear another basin of bloody remains, utter another kind phrase of reassurance,” says Ms. Tisdale. “I watch a woman’s swollen abdomen sink to softness in a few stuttering moments and my own belly flip-flops with sorrow,” she adds.

Earlier studies done by pro-abortion researchers note the high prevalence of PTSD symptoms with “obsessional thinking about abortion, depression, fatigue, anger, lowered self-esteem, and identity conflicts”. Another study reports “nightmares, images that could not be shaken”, and “deep and lonely privacy within which practitioners had grappled with their ambivalence”.

Such-Baer’s study, done in 1974, a year after Roe v. Wade legalized abortion in the U.S., describes how “almost all professionals involved in abortion work reacted with more or less negative feelings”. Those who have contact with the fetal remains have more negative feelings than those who do not. Nevertheless, “All emotional reactions were unanimously extremely negative”.

An article published in American Medical News, published by the American Medical Association talks about “the conflicting feelings that plague many providers. … The notion that the nurses, doctors, counsellors, and others who work in the abortion field have qualms about the work they do is a well-kept secret”.

Even a paper presented at the Association of Planned Parenthood Physicians does not shrink from narrating the case of two abortion practitioners who dreamed “of vomiting fetuses along with a sense of horror”. The writers conclude: “In general, it appears that the more direct the physical and visual involvement (i.e., nurses, doctor), the more stress experienced”.

A nurse working in an abortion clinic said her most troubling moments came not in the procedure room but afterward. Many times women who had just had abortions would lie in the recovery room and cry, “I’ve just killed my baby. I’ve just killed my baby.” “I don’t know what to say to these women,” the nurse told the group. “Part of me thinks, ‘Maybe they’re right.’”

In 2105, the obstetrician and gynecologist Dr. Antony Levatino testified at a House Judiciary Committee hearing about Planned Parenthood’s medical procedures after videos were released showing how the mega-abortion provider sold fetal tissue to researchers. Levatino testifies performing the brutal dismembering of a baby who has just been kicking in its mother’s womb by taking apart its legs, hands, intestines, heart, and lungs.

Levatino was asked why he ended his abortion practice after performing 1,200 abortions over a four-year period. Levatino tells his story of how he and his wife adopted a girl because they suspected they were infertile. However, his wife got pregnant the very next month and the couple had two children ten months apart. Their adopted daughter was killed in a car accident when she was six. Sometime after burying her, Levatino went to perform an abortion and got sick after pulling out an arm and leg. “For the first time in my life I really looked at that pile of body parts on the side of the table … all I could see was somebody’s son or daughter,” he says. Dr. Levatino could no longer kill babies.

If abortions are so traumatic for the doctor, isn’t it even more traumatic for the mother? Dr. John Bruchalski is a former abortionist who is part of a network that provides abortion pills. He says that because the mother has to see the aborted baby abortions by pills are more traumatic than surgical abortions. He says:

“There’s lots of contractions without anesthesia, lots of clots, that’s not even the issues that come with seeing the tissue with the baby.”

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The mother has to make sure that all the body parts have been ejected otherwise any part remaining inside her can cause serious infection. Women have to flush their baby down the toilet. But many women panic once they see their baby and don’t know what to do.

Vicki Thorn, of the National Office for Post Abortion Reconciliation and Healing, says some women in late-term medical abortions who did not want to bury their baby were at such a loss that they kept their baby in the freezer.

The abortion industry is in big trouble. They are running short of executioners. Women conned by the abortion industry into believing that abortion is safe are in even bigger trouble. The abortion industry is turning them into hangwomen.

Killing her own baby and flushing it down the toilet could leave a woman traumatized for the rest of her life.

from Republic Standard | Conservative Thought & Culture Magazine https://ift.tt/2NAwj6t via IFTTT