#elmike analysis Tumblr posts

[gayofthefae]

I love Lucas as Mike's ultimate foil. I love sexuality headcanons, don't get me wrong but at the end of the day, I think Lucas exists narratively as a straight man to hold up a mirror to Mike. He as a person is not Mike's foil in the way that Will and El are but he is in his relationships.

From season 1, Mike and Lucas both love Will, but it is deeply contrasted - even if not established yet or even necessarily for a specific reason, they want the audience to see that their love of Will is different: Lucas' quest to find Will is more urgent in solutions, Mike's more creative.

Season 2, Lucas is interested in a girl despite knowing her for under a week, but he actively pursues a relationship with her from the start, displaying feelings for her despite the narrative pointing us in the other direction, contrasting Mike, who connected with El as a person but was stagnant and didn't move in any way to pursue her until it was suggested. Because Lucas liked Max of his own volition, not suggestibility.

Season 3, Mike and Lucas both upset Will. The way in which they respond is very different. They both apologize, but Mike becomes defensive around certain subjects whereas Lucas apologizes with no sensitive topics and seemingly much more ease. Because Lucas' relationship with Will is platonic, and he has nothing to hide. Lucas also repeatedly leads initiations to get back together with Max, while Mike tags along behind him, consistently confused and requiring a push from Lucas to take the next step.

Season 4, Lucas apologizes to Max for small, excusable things he did like not checking in more than he already did whereas Mike becomes defensive, denying that he's done anything wrong, with his climax being apologizing and making true what was supposed to be true in the first place, catching back up to the starting point as opposed to moving forward. Lucas sees Max as she is changing but even with taking responsibility, Mike still sees El as who she was when they met, even going so far as to reference as much.

[queen-of-hawkins-why-ler]

"They won't split up the MAIN couple of the show >:(((" and the main couple of the show in question is a girl whose arc has actively included her becoming progressively more self-reliant and less dependent on her boyfriend across ALL seasons + a boy who has been staring wistfully at his best friend's lips and reaching for his hand since they were like 12

[stranger-theory]

"What is.. friend?" -El Hopper

How can a girl who knows nothing about friendship be in love with a boy a week after meeting him?

"How do I know what I like?" -El Hopper

How can a girl who has no idea what it means to actually like something know she likes and is in love with a boy?

I don't even have to pull this out of my ass for it to be crazy, this literally comes from straight from the show.

[teambyler]

THIS was the scene that should've repaired M*leven in s4 (Byler analysis)

In 4x8 ("Papa"), Mike's GIRLFRIEND was being pursued by a wing of the government that wanted her dead. He saw her ALMOST DIE to an army helicopter. El, after days of being scared and alone, saw that her BOYFRIEND DOES love her: he searched for her across the country and came to RESCUE her.

Isn't THIS the moment, IF Mileven were endgame, where the arc "does he really love me" should have been resolved? With a romantic moment, and a kiss?

Instead, Mike and El reunite like dear friends. El and Will's hug was more passionate.

This should have been the ultimate romantic moment for Mileven.

Instead, the writers had the GALL to insert RIGHT HERE a hint of a future romance...

... and they got away with it! (With most viewers.)

This is foreshadowing 101, baby.

Mike and El had just gone through the kind of experience you see in TV and movies, where a romantic couple have a falling-out, and they're supposed to realize that they truly and desperately need and can't live without each other. One has a Love Epiphany, and it might culminate in a Race for Your Love. (Links are to TV Tropes)

In these other stories, saying "I love you" is usually cheesy, trite, and unnecessary. They end with a KISS.

Like the Duffers have done before, they built up a trope only to subvert it. Here, the romantic couple were supposed to realize their feelings and have a bond that was stronger than ever.

Instead, that DOESN'T happen, and they drop a hint that might as well have been a Quest Marker above Will's head to show where the story's headed.

-teambyler

[strawberrybyers]

hi, so awhile ago, or to be more accurate 4 months ago lol, i mentioned that i was working on a 20 minute video that analyzes mileven’s relationship. i gathered clips throughout the seasons that highlight the dynamic between mike and el. this video is byler proof that essentially doesn’t really focus on byler. making this made me realize how much of mike and el’s relationship is just DRAMA lol.

anyways, here it is. please enjoy <3 https://youtu.be/HxqMxztkS1A?si=U7_lxyOfELocpgMl

you guys prob don’t remember but in my initial post about this vid, you guys said you wanted to be tagged. i apologize for the long wait. the amount of times the file corrupted and i had to start over drove me insane 😅 @total-serene560 @kittykat940 @throne-of-crows @upsidedownlurker @byler-invested @mimispams @wanderers-collection

[pinkeoni]

I have another take on the monologue. Walk with me.

And I’m not saying that my interpretation is the correct one, but rather, I’d like to look at it from another angle and consider another possibility.

With the script coming out and the monologue recieving all of this renewed attention, I’m starting to think that maybe El did believe Mike’s monologue.

And this isn’t just me looking at the script as proof. And while yes, the script did say that she believed it, you can’t take what’s on the page as cold hard proof versus what is on the screen, BUT I do think that what we do see on screen supports this idea.

Oh, I still think that Mike was lying out of his ass, and many have already elaborated on that idea so I don’t really want to rehash it here. We as the audience know that Mike is lying because we get a much clearer view of everything, but El does not get that view. We heard Mike say in the van that meeting her was just dumb luck, El did not.

While we also know that Mike’s reasoning for not saying “I love you” comes from his internal struggles, El’s belief as to why Mike couldn’t say comes from her own inner turmoil. She believed that Mike couldn’t say it because she saw herself as a monster. She has no idea about Mike’s personal struggles and doesn’t really consider it a possibility just because she is too in her head. I elaborate more in this post about El’s dichotomous thinking and how it drives her in this season.

It might be different if, say, El questioned Mike if there was someone else, that would definitely send a different message. But this isn’t El believing that Mike is love with someone else. This is El believing that she is unlovable.

But if she did believe him, shouldn’t she have looked happy? Wouldn’t she be closer with him and not giving him the cold shoulder? Wouldn’t they have a conversation after to reconcile their feelings?

And I agree. This is not the face of someone who is happy to finally hear “I love you” from her boyfriend.

But it’s not because she didn’t believe him. It’s because she realized it’s not what she wants to hear because she is not in love with him.

I talked about it more in this post where I discuss some Elmike and Stobin parallels. Here’s the main point I want to draw attention to:

I don’t think El is intentionally lieing about her feelings. I think she felt this hole ever since Hopper left, and believed that Mike’s love was supposed to fix everything. That Mike’s love is what she wants to hear. And then she finally hears it, and realizes it’s not what she wants. So maybe the face she is making during the monologue isn’t out of dissapointment, maybe it’s out of realization and guilt.

This would be a perfect parallel to the end of season 3, which I talk about here—

—and I pretty much agree with everything I said before.

And think about it, if El did believe what Mike was saying, that would make this line—

—so much worse than it already was.

Maybe El believed Mike in that moment, and maybe it did give her enough strength to break free of Vecna’s grasp, but the important thing is that she fails.

And what does El’s dichotomous thinking tell us about how she’s thinking afterward? If she’s not a superhero, then she must be a monster. She got her powers back, her boyfriend loves her, and yet she’s still a monster. Everything that she believed would solve her problems, didn’t. So what can she now?

I think when El side eyes Mike in the cabin it can be read through this lens of guilt as well. How can she bring herself to tell the guy that fell madly in love with her at first sight, that she doesn’t feel the same way? Especially when this guy sees her as a superhero, the thing that El wants her to be? Would breaking up mean losing the superhero title along with the girlfriend title?

I guess I like this interpretation because it shifts the focus to both Mike and El’s internal conflicts, rather than placing their relationship faults on the other person. Mike isn’t a nerd who is hopelessly in love with someone who is disinterested because she is way cooler than him, and El isn’t hopelessly in love with a gay guy who can’t love her back (even though he is a gay guy imo). They are both not in love with each other, and it has nothing to do with the other person.

And what great irony would that be if they were in the exact same position. They both believed that what they wanted from the other person was their love, and it wasn’t until they got it when that cold hard truth would hit them across the face. Now they are in this awkward position where they believe the other person is in love with them, and they both care too much to actually break the truth to the other person. It’s perfect.

[therainscene]

I’m obsessed with @wheelersboy’s theory that Mike thinks Will is in love with El. It’s one of those takes that’s so simple, yet so perfectly explains every odd little detail you couldn’t quite account for before, that you know you’re on to a winner.

I always thought it was bizarre that the Willel reunion at NINA was framed in blatant love triangle imagery:

If this was supposed to be yet another reminder that the sad widdle gay boy has fee-fees for his best friend, we’d expect him to be gazing at Mike or otherwise looking conflicted at both of them. But he isn’t. His steady, adoring gaze is for El only. Yes, he loves her, but that love is strictly fraternal, so why the romance symbolism?

Is it straight-bait? This scene comes after his thinly-veiled love confession to Mike (in the same episode, no less), and the Duffers and Noah both made a point of confirming that Will was gay in post-vol.2 interviews, so making the audience think that Will is in love with El clearly wasn’t the intention here.

The Willel romance-coding isn’t for the audience -- it’s for Mike.

We often joke about Mike being crushed that Will didn’t laugh at his vomit green socks, but follow Will’s gaze -- it’s a little hard to see in the still image, but he’s staring at El, checking to see if she’s going to heed his advice. Mike's discomfort isn’t because he’s upset that Will didn’t like his joke, it’s because he doesn’t understand the weird tension between these two and is frustrated that his attempt to lighten the mood didn’t dispel it.

Mike’s smart enough to correctly connect the dots by the time Will starts sobbing in the van though: Will is destroying himself in his efforts to be supportive of the relationship between his best friend and the person he’s in love with.

But heteronormativity and a severe inferiority complex lead him to draw the wrong conclusion -- he thinks he’s the best friend and El is the one Will’s in love with, and that gets confirmed in his mind when he catches them making goo-goo eyes at each other at NINA.

And not once, after figuring it out, does he get jealous about it -- he guides El into Will’s arms at NINA, he looks conflicted as hell during the “I love you” monologue as Will hovers over his shoulder -- he just wants them to be happy and is prepared to put his own feelings aside to make it happen, even though it would hurt him terribly to do so. Exactly the same fucking thing Will is doing. It’s utterly farcical. I love this theory so much.

I’d like to springboard off this by taking a look at what it implies about S5.

Between Will’s history with Vecna and the Wonder Twins foreshadowing--

--it’s looking pretty likely that Will and El are going to be spending a significant amount of time together next season.

So we can already see that conditions are perfect for Mike to go through a similar arc as Will did in S4: being a third wheel between his best friend and the person he’s in love with and feeling like he can never truly be more than a third wheel, leading him to sacrifice himself in an effort to support what he thinks they have together.

Mike is very much at risk of doing something stupidly self-harming in S5 -- this is the same kid who jumped off a cliff to protect Dustin’s baby teeth, after all. He feels like he has no value if he isn’t needed by Superman. And there’s a goddamn mind-reading despair demon stalking his friend group.

Of course, it’ll all work out in the end. He’ll be saved at the last moment, the truth will be tearfully revealed, and we’ll finally get that big, dramatic, affirming kiss for our OTP.

You might have noticed that everything I’ve said in this analysis so far is consistent with either Byler or Milevn being endgame.

Many Milevns and GA members don’t just believe that Milevn will triumph over Byler -- they believe there isn’t any conflict between Milevn and Byler in the first place. The lack of evidence that Mike isn’t into boys is meaningless to the heteronormative mindset -- he’s the protagonist and dating a girl, therefore he’s straight, therefore Will’s hopes are dead in the water, therefore Mike has no romantic dilemma to solve.

By introducing a misunderstanding in which Mike imagines that his best friend is competing for his girlfriend -- couching his dilemma in relatable heterosexual terms -- the audience will be forced to accept that Mike is experiencing a distressing internal conflict involving Will and romance that won’t be resolved until the queer truth comes out.

The GA felt bad for Will in S4 because they assumed there was nothing he could do about it, but they’ll be tearing their hair out with frustration at Mike in S5 -- “you’re wrongly assuming he’s straight, you idiot! Just talk to him and this will all be cleared up!!”

It would be an absolutely genius way of getting the audience to question heteronormativity without them even realizing they’re questioning heteronormativity.

Once Mike’s queerness is revealed, the parallels between his arc and Will’s will suddenly become clear, and the audience will realize that, despite his straight-passing invisibility, Mike was just the other side of the same gay coin Will was on all along.

[Part 2]

[booksandpaperss]

Yknow what would’ve been cool?

If during the mlvn argument, when Mike had said “I say it.” What if El responded to that by demanding “Oh really? Then say it to my face. Right now.”

Mike would’ve sputtered. He probably would’ve looked spooked and freaked out and put on the spot. Maybe he even would’ve tried, a measly “I- I care.” But he would not have been able to say it.

That would’ve directly solidified to the audience what the reality was. Which was actually probably why that wasn’t done, bc things would’ve been much more final and the monologue would’ve felt even more out of place and been redundant.

I want to see something like this in season 5 though. When El pulls Mike aside to talk to him abt his failass monologue and to breakup, that better be the first thing she does if the writers have any braincells. Ask Mike to say it to her face.

And when he won’t? When he still can’t? That’ll make things abundantly clear to even the most dense GA members and mlvns about what truly going on here. What that monologue really was.

[paintingformike]

i’ve made a similar post about this before but it really is easier to understand the outcome of the el/mike/will love triangle if people simply looked at it from a different angle. most of the debates about it are centered around how mike feels, if he ever had feelings for el in the past or he never did, if he’s in love with will or el etc. but think about it...between el and will, who do you think has been shown to continuously love mike wholeheartedly, unconditionally and meaningfully? whose feelings have been written with so much depth to the point it’s being called “beautiful” by the cast?

i think if we’re being completely honest and objective, writing down the word “love” in all your letters just...doesn’t compare to pouring your entire heart and soul into making a painting representing your love for your best friend, waxing poetic about all his traits that you love and appreciate him for, saying he makes you feel better for being different, showing him his worth as a person, being the only one to consistently check up on how he feels and comforting and reassuring him through his troubles.

i've genuinely tried imagining el feeling this much unconditional love for mike and pictured her trying to express similar sentiments about him as deep as will’s feelings go but i just...cant. seeing more of these conversations about el being the one to have never been in love with mike or develop any sort of feelings for him just hammers down the point more. it’s a harsh fact to lay out i guess, and i’m not trying to say el doesn’t care about mike or loves him atleast platonically, but if i’m going to be really frank...will just loves mike far more profoundly and deeply. and it’s not a bad thing, it’s just the truth. like we don’t really see much of mike feeling loved by her either, in fact, when people ask her what he likes/loves about him she’s never really sure about how she feels, like when max asked her if she enjoyed kissing mike she said she didn’t even know if she did 😭

obviously we can’t just hold el up to high standards when it comes to relationship matters, and it’s important to consider the life she has been leading thus far as a kid who was raised in a lab and has only had a few years to navigate around society and experience a somewhat “normal” life, including her knowledge of relationships. but this is simply about who was really shown to love mike for who he is and who mike feels the most comfortable opening up to first, and it’s not a bad thing that el can’t love mike the way will does, because she does love and care about him, just in different ways. but it’s telling of who really is the right person for mike and who has the love that he’s always wanted and needed.

[bluebugjay]

I think the 'Mike is in love with whoever the painting is from' isn't as shallow as just he loves whoever got him a present. The painting has always been more than just a painting it's a symbol for Will's love for Mike which we know as an audience but Mike doesn't. Which is why it's even a question at all.

The painting shows genuine care for Mike and acceptance of who he is (a dnd playing nerd), it shows him as a protector (which he's always tried to do), it's shows him as cool (again which he's always tried for), it shows that someone has thought of him enough to either commission or make him a super thoughtful gift. The painting literally is the way he wants to be loved.

Then there's Will's speech which goes along with the painting and again wouldn't even be under scrutiny if Mike knew for certain who it was from. He's told it's from El and that all of Will's words as well as the meaning of the painting is from her. He thinks El sees him for who he is and loves him for it (not that she doesn't), he thinks El sees him as a protector, he thinks El sees him as cool. Mike particularly thinking El needs him as a protector is the outlier because though she's needed his support she's not needed his protection since s1. Plus with the arc El went on this season that all would seem very counterproductive.

(Will also says a lot of things in his speech that is clearly from his perspective and doesn't apply to El at all which again will be messing with Mike's perspective on his and El's relationship)

If the painting were from El it creates a whole new context from Mike's point of view. El would have commissioned the painting before he got to Cali meaning before their fight. El would have loved Mike exactly the way he wanted and and he couldn't say it back. He thinks El needs him and loves him that much that telling her he loves her would help her save the world. We as an audience though know who the painting and the speech is from, we know that El doesn't need Mike the way he believes she does in that moment. But Mike has no other reason to believe Will was lying.

I don't think Mike is going to find out the painting was from Will and immediately think he's in love with Will and dump El. I think it'll be more like he realises that the feelings he got from the painting and Will's speech and the feelings he felt for the person who thought all that weren't for El. That El doesn't love him like that and he can't love El like that. It's more of a gateway to Mike examining his feelings.

So it's a little more complicated than 'Mike being in love with whoever the painting is from' it's more so 'Mike wants the love the painting represented' and he thinks it's from El but we know it's not.

[lunabug2004]

Hey ya'll! Just figured I'd share this s3 Mike defense I just wrote in response to someone on Patreon! (Pls lemme know if this comes off rude or something, cuz if so I'll change it, I just wanna defend my boy, I don't wanna offend anybody!)

[gayofthefae]

They could have had Mike say "it wasn't fate...", make it just a tiny bit more salvageable. Open it up for that subtext of "we weren't destined to meet originally, BUT-"

But no. "It's not fate". It's. It is not.

They could have had him say "It isn't fate that we met, I'm not special, anyone could have been so lucky, and one day she'll realize that" as was supported by the context (and the reason I misremember it). Instead, they had him say "It isn't fate that we're together now. It isn't destiny for us to be together. It's just dumb luck. Anyone can fulfill that role for her. And soon she'll realize that too", 'she's already started to' as is said in the original script.

His words are insults. No doubt about it. But they didn't have him insult the past, something he can reframe (to make it consistent with when he does in his speech to her later). They had him insult the present. That isn't about reframing and retrospect. That's what he feels now. He didn't call meeting her dumb. He called dating her dumb. They switched tenses in the MIDDLE to make sure of that.

Such a small change. They didn't make.

He thinks their relationship is dumb but for reasons he is desperate to hide. He thinks it's dumb but that's grounds for him to keep it, not end it. It'd be grounds for her to end it. She loves him, but he's not irreplaceable. He's praying she doesn't notice because to him, she is. A boyfriend who will love her is easy to find and as soon as she realizes that she'll stop settling for one who can't and leave him, looking around or waiting for someone who can. But a girlfriend who shields him from questionings like "You called a couple of times. It's been a year, Mike. Meanwhile El has like a book of letters from you" is dangerous to disappear for even a second.

Just like how he knew he loved her before he let it slip out in front of people in an emotional moment of fearing losing her, he already knew he thought their relationship was stupid and over too. He just knew if anyone ever heard him say it, they'd hold him to it, because those are the kinds of words a better person considers actionable.

tldr: he doesn't think meeting El was stupid, he thinks being with her is. He's not scared she'll realize it could have been anyone and wish it had been, he's scared she'll realize it could be anyone and replace him. Because if she ever thought their relationship was stupid, it would mean that they weren't right together and she'd end it. If he does, it means he's not right and he has to stay with her at all costs to hide that fact.

[queen-of-hawkins-why-ler]

No but like El will be happy about Byler. Like actually happy, not just okay with it. It's not just her who doesn't "get" Mike and his nerdiness and need to be the hero, it's also Mike who doesn't understand the depths of El's humanity despite being a "superhero" and all of the trauma she deals with and has yet to work through. Her uniquely feminine experience and all of the challenges and milestones that come alongside maturing as a young woman, which is something that Max understands perfectly well, and this is the reason why El has begun to prioritize her friendship with Max over her relationship with Mike. El knows in her heart that she and Mike are already doomed romantically, I just think she was in denial about it until Mike's monologue. The only fear both El and Mike have now is that the absence of romance from their relationship means there won't be a relationship period i.e. they are destined to lose each other. For El, knowing and understanding that Mike is gay and in love with someone else and literally CAN'T be with her romantically will be the biggest signifier that they were never going to be able to hold onto that romance in the first place. Now they can work on being friends. If anything it's Will who's going to struggle to be with Mike in light of the guilt he will feel from "stealing" Mike from El, and I wouldn't be surprised if El is going to be the one to ultimately push Will towards Mike and encourage the two of them to be together.

[runninguplenorahills]

So, we all know that in s1, Lucas is mad at Mike for spending so much time with El and even Dustin tells Mike later on: “[…] and then this girl shows up and starts living in your basement, and all you ever wanna do is pay attention to her.”

Clearly, Lucas’ and Dustin’s only evidence as to why they think that Mike is in love with El is the fact that he spends time with her/pays more attention to her and it all starts with Mike skipping school to stay at home with El. At home Mike shows El around and later finds out that El knows something about Will and from then on he mostly defends her and approaches her even friendlier. He chooses to believe her and tells Dustin and Lucas to do the same which especially Lucas thinks is absolutely insane. Nonetheless Mike stands up for her instead of siding with Lucas and that leads to Lucas accusing Mike of being in love with El.

And the crucial point is that Lucas accuses Mike unprompted and phrases his accusation in a way that erases all indications that this is his personal opinion. It sounds like he’s talking about a general fact:

“If you love her so much, why don’t you marry her?” -> Lucas’ way of wording implies that Mike’s mannerisms alone already give away that he’s in love with El. It’s not Lucas who simply perceives Mike to be in love with El, no, Mike conveys it all on his own. But this obviously isn’t the truth of the situation which is why Mike is pretty confused by Lucas’ statement.

“You look at her all like ‘Oh El, El, El, El, El, El! Will you marry me?’” -> Again, Lucas’ choice of words implies that it’s a general fact that Mike looks at El a certain way which shows that he’s in love with her, instead of telling Mike that he personally picked Mike’s look up at something romantic.

Lucas doesn’t say “I think you’re in love with El” he says “You are in love with El” and therefore basically dictates Mike on who he is and who he likes. But of course Lucas isn’t the only one who does that.

Right after Dustin explains to Mike why Lucas is jealous [and says the quote from the top of this post] Mike tells him “That’s not true.” which Dustin replies to with:

“It’s true and you know it!” -> Just like Lucas, Dustin tells Mike what is true and what is not and completely disregards Mike’s own opinion on the topic. He tells Mike that him being in love with El is the general and overall truth which is obvious to everyone and he even goes a step further and dictates Mike on what he knows and what he doesn’t!! Which then leads to Mike thinking that maybe he should be in love with her!

Even later in the season Nancy asks Mike “Do you like El?” and by doing so she unknowingly proves Lucas and Dustin right. Mike’s behavior does show that he’s in love with El, it is obvious to everyone around him and therefore him being in love with El must be the truth/fact!! But why doesn’t he feel anything then? Why can anyone else see it but he himself can’t? Shouldn’t he feel something? Shouldn’t he see it too? Yeah, he should. But why doesn’t he? Is there something wrong with him? Oh god, is there? No, it’s just like Dustin said, he’s just being oblivious to his own feelings. He is in love with El just like everyone else says! Because he’s supposed to be. And therefore he should be. Therefore he has to be. Therefore he is.

You’re probably wondering why I highlighted “Mike skipping school to stay at home”, right?

Well, as I said, that’s where it all starts. It’s the first time Mike ditches Lucas and Dustin to spend time with El. It’s that day that Mike starts to defend El and therefore it’s the reason everyone starts thinking he’s in love with her. And the first scene [so the beginning of the beginning] of Mike showing El around the house [the scene that ends with El on the La-Z-boy] is followed by no other scene than Jonathan driving to Lonnie’s place which contains the flashback of him telling Will:

“You shouldn’t like things just because people tell you you’re supposed to”

That’s literally the next scene after we first get Mike and El spending actual time together!!! It’s already such a queer coded line for just Will, and from then on all throughout the season we also get different people telling Mike that he’s supposed to like El!! But the problem is that Mike never got told that he doesn’t have to like things that people tell him he’s supposed to! He never had that conversation with anyone ever and so Mike doesn’t know that he doesn’t have to be in love with El just because people tell him he’s supposed to. And so of course he lets himself get pressured into behaving like he is in love with her, even though he isn’t.

[wibble-wobbegong]

tldr for that big ass analysis earlier mr michael wheeler wont go for will over el bc he hasnt learned to prioritize his need to be his truest self over his loyalty to his friend and the one time he got close was when will made him feel as though he was a person deserving of being himself and more than someone who exists to please others and then “you’re the heart” happened and mike was incredibly betrayed and felt lied to because he knows el would never say that and he thought will did but then will confirmed he didnt so mike lost value in himself and reverted to a people pleaser and gave his speech to el

he’s coco loco bro

[purpleshadow-star]

Here's the actual analysis as to why El is just as bad of a romantic partner to Mike as Mike is to her (and why they just don’t work romantically in general).

(this is going to include both reasons why El is not a good romantic partner and just general observations as to why Mike and El don’t work romantically)

Relationships work two ways. Mike and El don't work not only because Mike can't love El the way she wants to be loved but also because El hasn't ever proved that Mike can confide in her and be vulnerable with her, which is important for a relationship. We have literally never seen El comfort Mike about anything, or even ask if he’s okay or how he’s doing. We've seen Mike try to comfort El in S4, but we've never seen it the other way, not even in the slightest.

Let's start at the beginning.

This lack of mutual trust and this weariness to be vulnerable with each other stems from the fact that Mike and El never established a proper friendship before getting together. Friendship is where people get to know each other and learn to trust each other. Friendship is the foundation to any good romantic relationship.

Mike has proved that he can be there for El from the beginning. He took her in when they found her, he gave her a place to stay, and he protected her, despite the fact that it was dangerous for him to do any of this.

Mike and El met, knew each other for a week, and then were separated. During that week, Mike did his part to establish the beginning of a friendship. El didn't even know what it was to have friends, so obviously, she was slower in reciprocating the friendship completely.

El was able to establish the beginnings of a true friendship with everyone in the party, so they all considered her their friend, and she considered them her friends, but they never really got to know each other. Mike and El in particular were torn apart before they could get to know each other well enough to develop true romantic feelings, and it didn't help that people such as Lucas and Nancy gave Mike the idea that he should be interested in El romantically. The fact that Mike kissed El was a major setback for their platonic relationship.

Because they were never able to establish a good, strong, platonic relationship first, and since they never really go to know each other, this set up a very shaky foundation for any other relationship they tried to build.

During their year apart, El watched a lot of romance shows and movies, to the point where she could quote the TV. She gained this idea of love that isn't realistic, but since she and Mike kissed, and the people in love on the TV kissed, and she cared for Mike, she probably rationalized that her positive feelings for him must be romantic, just like the people on TV.

Because of this, when they reunited in season 2, El already had it in her mind that their relationship should be romantic. She wasn’t trying to be his friend anymore, not like with the rest of the party. She thought that they should be romantic. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Like the people on TV. This is shown when she tried to kiss him before she left with Hopper to go to the lab in season 2. El made that move, not Mike. Mike didn’t even lean forward. And then the Snowball happened, and Mike kissed El once again, and (presumably) that night, they established their romantic relationship.

(It is important to note that Max and Lucas also got together at the Snowball, and they had the same amount of time to get to know each other (About a week and the one month time skip at the end of season 2). The only difference is that we saw Lucas and Max actually talking about themselves and getting to know each other. We didn’t see that with Mike and El in season 1)

We really start to see the result of that shaky foundation in season 3. In the beginning, we saw Mike and El make out and seemingly have a good time together. Mike left, and then we saw that their make-out session caused Mike to be late to meet up with the rest of the party.

As the season went on, we saw how Mike and El’s relationship affected everyone else. We learn that they’d been ditching their friends (causing Will and Dustin to be noticeably upset), and they’re being disrespectful to Hopper.

We also saw that El didn’t really like Mike’s idea of fun. He tried to be silly and have fun in the first make-out scene, and she stopped him and pulled him back into making out. We learned through Will that they hadn't played DnD in a while, and he implied that they hadn’t really been doing anything fun lately. Mike had essentially given up the things he liked to do in order to hang out with El.

As far as we saw, Mike and El spend most of their time making out and not actually doing anything else that the two of them enjoy together, such as listening to music (to enjoy it, not just as background noise while making out), playing games (like El and Max do later), reading comics (also like El and Max do later), watching TV together, or even just talking. It’s almost like making out is the only thing they both know the other likes to do.

(Also note that a lot of this has to do with their age. For the most part, dating is the stage to get to know someone before making it official, but because Mike and El are so young, they don’t know this. They have a set idea of what dating and relationships means in their minds, and they don’t have the life experience to know that dating means getting to know one another, not just spending all your time together making out (especially El, who was in a lab for almost her whole life and mostly learned about other people and the world through romance TV). Usually, you go on dates, then, if you like each other, you enter a relationship. Dating people who you didn’t know before is basically the “being friends” stage. They seem to skip the dating part entirely, and they go straight into a relationship. For anyone, but especially kids that young, a good relationship needs to be built on a good friendship)

When Mike lied to El, she broke up with him, which was completely fair since he kept on lying. Then, she went on with Max and didn’t think about him too much after that. We saw that the breakup didn’t really affect her. 

During the rest of the season, we saw Mike in danger multiple times. We saw Mike get concerned for El, but we never once saw El ask Mike how he was doing. We never saw El check up on Mike. Not like how Jonathan checked up on Nancy after she was attacked by the Mind Flayer, despite him having been injured to the point that he almost passed out only a few minutes prior. Not like how Joyce was concerned about and took care of Hopper after he was beat up by the Russian soldier.

At the end of season 3, El told Mike that she loved him and it was heavily implied that she said this because she overheard Mike say it in the other room earlier in the season, but Mike didn’t say it back.

Mike never told El he loved her to her face. She was the first (and only) one to say it face-to-face.

Remember that.

In season 4, we learn from El’s letter that she was lying to Mike. She was completely lying, not just leaving out the bad parts of her life in California. When Mike arrived in California, we saw that El was a bit upset with Mike for writing “From Mike” on the flowers instead of “Love Mike,” but she brushed it off. Then, the roller rink happened, and El’s lies were exposed. Instead of coming clean, she even tried to convince Angela to play it off as a joke. Then, later that night, she retreated, and she isolated herself.

The next day, we saw Mike try to comfort El. He didn’t get upset about the fact that she had lied to him. He simply asked for an explanation. He tried to help her feel more comfortable telling the truth by reminding her that he’s been bullied his whole life. He told her he understood, and he opened up to her and reminded her about his own traumatic memories, only for her to tell him that he didn’t understand. She disregarded his experiences and said that he didn't understand, even though she literally watched him almost kill himself because of a bully.

And still, even after she dismissed his experiences with bullying, he didn’t get mad. He asked for her to explain. Then, she opened up about her own insecurities, and she said that she thought everyone, including him, looked at her like she’s a monster. When Mike tried to reassure her, when he told her he cared for her, El decided to move the conversation off of herself and onto Mike.

Mike is understandably taken off guard by this. El then proceeds to insist that, just because Mike didn’t write the word “love” in his letters, that meant he didn’t love her, despite his reassurances.

Now, obviously, Mike is also in the wrong in this conversation. He lied and said that he did say that he loved her when he didn’t, and he really didn’t handle the situation well after they moved onto the topic of him loving her (ex: saying she was being ridiculous, etc.), but that doesn’t change the fact that El continued pushing this topic that he clearly wasn’t comfortable with. She never considered that maybe he wasn’t ready to say it yet. Again, remember, Mike hadn’t actually said he loved her to her face yet, so really, there should not be any expectation that he should be saying it to her face, or even writing it, right now.

All in all, so far, we’ve seen El lie to Mike, not apologize for lying for months, invalidate his bullying experiences, and get upset with him for not saying something that really shouldn’t have been an expectation yet.

None of this got resolved.

El got arrested. Then, when they reunited, there was no time to really talk about the fight until they made it to Surfer Boy’s Pizza. That little talk they had before Argyle came with the pizza would have been the perfect time for El to apologize for lying and for what she said about his bullying during the fight, but that didn’t happen. So, El never apologized for lying, even after Mike apologized for not saying he loved her more.

None of this means that El is a bad person. El and Mike just don't work romantically because they aren't able to be vulnerable around each other. The one time they talk about how they feel with each other, they end up with a fight that never truly gets resolved. It wasn't resolved with the monologue, not only because Mike’s truthfulness in the monologue was questionable, but also because the argument started with the fact that El lied to Mike, not the issue of Mike not saying he loved her, and that never got resolved.

El hasn’t once shown Mike that he can confide in her, and that, along with many other factors, is why their relationship isn’t going to work out. They needed to establish that platonic bond first. They needed to establish a friendship to fall back on when things in the romantic aspect of their relationship got shaky. If they had established that friendship first, they would be more comfortable going to each other and opening up about their troubles.

With a more solid friendship, they would have been able to go to each other for comfort or reassurance, the same way Mike was able to go to Will, his best friend first and foremost, and talk to him when he was upset and feeling insecure. Also, the same way Max went to Dustin, her friend, when she was worried about the Eddie/Chrissy situation instead of trying to go to Lucas.

Max and Lucas had the same amount of friendship time as Mike and El, and even though they had a better pre-romance friendship, it ultimately wasn't enough to save their relationship. The difference is that Max and Lucas spent season 4 building their friendship back up and solidifying that foundation so that when they do get back together, they’ll be stronger than ever. Mike and El (well, mostly Mike) spent season 4 trying to save their romantic relationship, which is why it still isn’t very strong, even at the end of the season.

Again, this doesn’t make either of them awful people. This all just shows that they are not good for each other romantically, and they never really have been.

So, to conclude my long rambling, as much as Mike idolizes El and her powers, as much as Mike can’t tell El he loves her to her face or without being prompted, as much as Mike can’t show El that he loves her and make her feel loved, El also is completely uninterested in the things that make Mike happy, El never apologized for lying to Mike for months, El invalidated Mike’s traumatic experiences with bullying, and El has never shown Mike that he can go to her for comfort and reassurance.