#be nice to my stinky buddies

[midshines]

Don’t get me wrong, I love possums and raccoons with all my heart… but where is all of the love for skunks, huh?

This could just be that skunks were the first animal I had real experience with as a wildlife rehab volunteer, but I’ve always been more captivated by skunks.

They’re also just as mischievous, they’re just not as effective due to their body shapes and lack of good climbing ability.

And yeah, they’re stinky, but I think those who aren’t around the other two don’t realize how stinky they can be (especially opossums).

Truly, I do love them all though, but I wish people who coo at the pictures of possums I take would do the same for my bsf (best skunk friend).

[ell-begins]

I’ve said this in tags but wanna say it again. Wanting Bucktommy to be endgame wasn’t just because I liked tommy, or lou or whatever. It was about finally wanting Buck to have a partner that understood him, and to finally have a partner that worked. Tommy knew the 118, he was already integrated into the storyline and into Buck’s life - He worked well and made sense. I am sick and tired of seeing Buck have failed relationships, or having people leave him. I just wanted him to finally be happy in a relationship, and be able to finally have someone who would stay, and who made him happy. I just wanted someone he could see a future with and Tommy was that person

[zmaragdos]

my wonderful orange cat teddy had to go to the vet unexpectedly yesterday :( but he is back home today and feeling much better :) although he is very very stinky now :|

[spiderlilli]

I just want to see the foxes again… I can’t stand this anymore I have officially snapped. Why won’t crunchy man leave me alone????

[disneyprincemuke]

the favourite driver * ls2

it's never fun feeling like an outsider, so you'd sworn that nobody would ever feel the way you did all those years ago

pairings: logan sargeant x platonic!femdriver

notes: hi i know i took forever to write this but uh what r u gonna do? ik u love me B)

| "wanna hang out?" | driver's parade | american burgers | american football | the thanksgiving incident | another williams adoptee | beating the heat | you’re embarrassing me | santa baby | the favourite driver | the situationship | it's nice to have a friend |

"remember!" toto calls out to you walking away. "back by half past three for his nap!"

you wave your arm in the air, hoisting little jack wolff on her hip. you look down at him. "wanna make a new friend, jack?"

the young boy nods excitedly, giggling and throwing his head back. "is it your new friend?"

"yeah! his name's logan!" you squeal, jumping up the stairs of the williams racing home. you put jack down to the floor and let him grab your hand, pushing the door open. "he's super cool! cooler than georgie, i reckon!"

his eyes light up at the thought. uncle george has always been cool in the eyes of little jack wolff – simply because he had made an effort to make sure that he thought of him that way. though susie argues that you are jack's favourite race car driver, always wearing the team shirt you gave him to sleep every other night.

you spot logan on the couch, scrolling away on his phone. "hey, i want you to meet someone!"

logan looks up at you first, eyes widening and lips stretching into a sweet smile. then he notices the smaller hand wrapped in yours. he tilts his head at the young boy hiding shyly behind your legs. "hey, buddy."

"this is little toto – jack!" you beam, stepping aside to present jack to logan. "i like babysitting him when he's in the paddocks, so i brought him here with me!"

"hi," jack says timidly, one hand on your thigh. "i'm jack."

"hey," logan hums, squeezing his shoulder lightly. "i'm logan."

"hi," he says again, slightly softer this time before settling to hide behind your legs again. he bundles up the material of your sweatpants in his hands and avoids logan's curious eyes.

logan looks up at you. you shrug. "he's a little shy," you whisper. you move to the side again and put jack by your side on the tiny blue couch. "i thought you were excited to meet my new friend?"

"i got shy," he giggles. he turns to logan with a smile. "are you also a race car driver? like uncle george?"

you poke jack's shoulder. "he's cooler than uncle george. logan's not a stinky boy man."

jack giggles. "you're not stinky?"

you spend the afternoon by the william's racing home with logan and jack, the four-year-old eventually opening up to play a game of football with him. to which, logan almost started debating with an actual kid about how he knows it as soccer.

but he dropped it, not wanting to confuse such a young child about the difference.

by the time three-thirty rolls around, jack is hugging logan's neck, cheek mushed into his shoulder with logan's arms under his body. "thanks for carrying him back for me," you whisper with a giggle. "he's getting very big and heavy."

logan grins. "he's very cute. i can see why you like him a lot."

"he's already sleeping," toto says slightly amused, hands on his hips by the doors that lead into the mercedes home. "i'm impressed."

"we played soccer," logan grins, leaning forward to transfer the sleeping kid into his father's arms.

"football," you correct logan with a pat on his shoulder. you grin at him. "i'll see you later at the driver's briefing, mate."

logan bids you goodbye, walking the other way as he readjusts his williams hoodie. toto grins at you, turning on his heel while you pull the door open. "i'm glad jack made a new friend. one more babysitter for me, yes?"

you shrug. "isn't it up to jack to decide if he likes being with logan?"

jack lifts his head, eyes half open with drool pooling at the corner of his mouth. "logan's my favourite driver."

toto gasps as jack drops his cheek on his shoulder again. "you converted him to a williams supporter!"

"no way! i'm supposed to be his favourite race car driver!"

@cashtons-wife @darleneslane

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

[zolanort]

Hyrule is a fine cook, you guys are just mean.

I will start by pointing out that Wild says the ham water is really tasty. Who is going to be a better judge of the ham water? The one who has eaten nothing but pastries and croissants his whole life?

The lord of pumpkin spice? The army guy who probably lived off of MRE equivalents? The rancher who chugs literal grubs?

Or the one person who is so good with food that he is universally recognized as the cook?

Kudos to you if you chose the grub chugger, nothing wrong with eating bugs, but the correct answer was Wild; Wild is the best choice for judge. Partially because he has 1000x more experience with food variety than the others (statistics taken from my own save files), but mostly because no one else in the group has any significant experience with cooking their own food. Twi did his best helping with that stinky fish for Yeto's soup but it doesn't count.

As the croissant eater points out, the meat looks old.

For it to be old but not have started rotting, it would have to be cured meat (we’ll say ham because what better way to spite Ganon than by eating pig for lunch). Hyrule has probably even upgraded since his first adventure and it’s not just your basic salted ham food (which already costs about the same as a magic shield in game), it’s probably the Hyrulian equivalent of Jamón Ibérico de Bellota from his buddy pal Zelda(s) at the castle. I know I’d give someone a fancy ham for saving my kingdom twice. Hyrule is basically a gourmet at this point. You need quality nutrients to grow healthy hair, as our traveler pointed out, and who has the bestest most fluffiest hair? Hyrule does. Look at the fluffy:

It is absolutely possible to make tasty soup from the most basic 100 rupee cured ham. That’s a real thing that real people do in real life. You can even do it with 50 rupee ham in a can if you’re desperate (I say 50 rupee instead of 25 because of inflation). Hyrule put the bone in too so not only is there the salty flavor from the cured meat, he very well could have been making a nice bone broth for his injured colleague (he could have put other ingredients in off screen too but that’s beside the point). Ever heard of broth based soup? Probably not if you are a croissant eater who never had to cook ham water for yourself on the road. Croissants aren’t even that good unless they have chocolate in the middle, and that’s just because of the chocolate. If you’re going through the effort of laminating all that dough you should just go all the way and make something actually good like pastéis de nata.

Anyway, Hyrule is implied to be a terrible cook and I love that for him. Mostly I just wanted to take this chance to complain about croissants.

[anon-sect]

I’d do anything to get close to my gym crush’s feet, could you give me a little help?

Picture source: @paketemusculomorbo

Quinton worked out nearly every day at his favorite gym, and he kept noticing this one guy, always looking his direction but never bothering to come greet him. This attention went on for almost two months straight. He thought about going to another gym, but the guy might follow him there. Since the guy was to shy to come say hi, he would break the ice himself.

"What's up?" Quinton went over and spoke. The guy was sort of silent for a few seconds, probably because of the shock that he came over and spoke with him.

Greg was caught by surprise. "Oh, hi." He didn't know what else to say for a brief moment.

"Listen, I have been noticing you looking my way for a while. I thought I would end your nervousness. The name is Quinton, and yours." He saw that the guy was getting less uneased by now.

"Oh, I am Greg. Nice to meet you." He spoke back, seeing that his gym crush was actually kind of nice.

"Nice to meet you as well, Greg. Well, I will get back to my workout session, I just wanted to say hi." Quinton spoke as he went back to the machine he was previously at. He then noticed the rubber in his favorite shoes came loss. This was no good. Sadly, he didnt' have another pair with him. He went back over to Greg.

"Hey, could you help me with something, buddy?" Quinton asked. He saw Greg's face light up like a supernove when he asked that question.

Sure, anything." Greg quickly answered without even knowing what the request was. He followed him back to the locker room, which was surprisingly empty. He saw Quinton smiling at that. He saw him pull out his phone. With a quick snap of the camera, his whole reality changed. He found himself completely immobile with a limited view. HIs body was split in two, and each half had a solid form.

Quinton picked up the brand new shoes. They looked great. He took off his old shoes and threw them in the trash. "Sorry about this. I know we just officially met, but my old shoes are just too ruined for me to continue to work out. I needed you to be my shoes for now. I really do appreciate this." He put the shoes on his feet and went back out to finish his session. The new shoes felt way better than his old favorite pair. He could easily work out without his feet hurting now.

Greg didn't know if he was dreaming or if it was reality. He was literally being worn on his gym crush feet. The socks were already sweaty and smelled slightly. It was also painful with each step under his feet. Being shoes was quite a painful experience, not to mention sweaty and stinky. Yet, he was still loving every moment of it. He really didn't mind his gym crush using him as his shoes.

Quinton finished his nearly two hour workout. He snapped a quick picture of himself with his new shoes. He loved how they looked on his feet. He decided he would keep them. He hoped the guy didn't mind being his sneakers for a long time.

Quinton went back to the lockroom, grabbed his bag, and went to his car. Once back at his car, he took one sneaker off. "My old pair seem like they were too far gone, but I have found a new replacement for my favorite sneakers. It's you. I don't know if this is something you would want, or if you dispise me for wearing you." He paused as he thought about it. "Honestly, you don't have any choice in your life anymore. You are just my new favorite shoes now. Don't worry, I will take good care of you for sure. My last pair lasted me for years, you wil be mine forever." He put the shoe back on his foot and drove back home to take a shower.

Greg was so happy to hear what came of his fate. Quinton could wear him forever for all he cared. There was no greater pleasure than being worn by him on his feet. He wished he could express his gratitude for what he did to him, but at least he knew that he would be with his gym crush forever. That was all that mattered.

[in1-nutshell]

Hello, Another Part of this TFA Request, Bot Buddy as Wasp's twin sibling who takes his place

Where Bot Buddy, who disguised as Wasp, became a broken bot, and that now speaks like how Wasp do. She somehow escap from Autobots and didn't held a grudge of that 'incident'

Buddy came to Earth and meet the team prime (if Wasp's in Repair crew, a reunion happens between him and Buddy), also Buddy (and Wasp) reveal their true selves

I have a feeling we are going to see this Buddy a bit more in the future.

Hope you enjoy!

Wasp Twin sister meets Team Prime

SFW, Platonic, Angst, Mention of injury but nothing graphic, Cybertronain reader

TFA

Time didn’t seem to exist within the walls of the stockades.

Half of the time W-2 didn’t even know what was happening anymore.

It was better that way.

Her name was even changed while being in there, she had to constantly remind herself that she was still had a name… but even that was slowly being replaced by the shorten nickname given to her.

2.

Just plain ol’ 2.

She rarely talked anymore and when she did, it was mainly to herself.

The guards made fun of her speech whenever they had the chance to do it.

One night 2 woke up to find the door of her cell wide open.

Thinking this was another trick, she waited a bit.

When nothing happened, she bolted out of the cell and straight to the memorized exits.

She remembered running and running until she reached the local spacebridge.

She punched in random coordinates as the blaring sounds of the alarms shrieked.

2 instinctively tried to transform, but the inhibitor claw on her back prevented her from doing so.

As soon as the bridge turned on, she leaped in, not caring now where it could lead her.

All 2 knew was that she couldn’t stand another day in the walls of the stockade.

She was free falling when she appeared on the other side.

2 landed on a pile of trash.

2 rubs her helm while throwing a greasy banana peel off her helm.

“Ow! Stinky garbage hurt 2.”--2

The garbage bot starts collecting the garbage including her.

It starts compacting.

2 starts clawing fruitlessly at the wall and screaming.

“NO, NO, NO! 2 DON’T WANT TO GO! 2 DON’T WANT TO GO!”--2

SLICE!

The machine had been sliced in half thanks to the quick thinking of Optimus Prime.

He had just been in the area when he heard a bunch of screaming coming from the garbage bot.

He thought it was a couple of humans caught, he was not expecting a bot that looked a little bit like Bumblebee to spill out. The bot in question looked at him and scurried into a corner in the alley and placed her servos on her helm, shaking like a leaf.

Optimus carefully approaches her slowly putting his axe down and getting on his knees.

“Hello.”--Optimus

The bot looks up a bit but keeps quiet.

“My name is Optimus Prime—”--Optimus

The bot curls up even more.

“Like Sentinel bot?”—2

Optimus shakes his helm.

“No, I’m not like or am Sentinel. How do you know who Sentinel is?”--Optimus

The bot shaking lessens.

“Truck bot save 2. 2 like nice Truck bot.”—2

“Your name is 2?”—Optimus

2 nods.

“Just 2.”--2

Optimus smiles before noticing her pede sparking.

“You’re hurt.”--Optimus

She looks down at the injury, wincing a bit as the spark grew a bit.

“Oh… 2 hurt...”--2

“Listen 2, I have a field tech back on my base—”—Optimus

2 looks at him in panic.

“No!”--2

“No?”--Optimus

“Truck bot take 2 to get arrested! 2 not go back to stockades! Not go back!”—2

She tries to get up but yelps when the pain shoots up and crumbles.

Optimus catches her.

“Listen 2, your injured, I promise whatever this is about the stockades won’t happen because you get arrested when the other first see you. You have my word.”—Optimus

2 looks at him in fear and uncertainty.

“2… not get arrested on sight? Truck bot promise?”--2

“Yes. You have my word.”—Optimus

He holds out his servo for 2 to take it.

She does hesitantly.

Optimus carefully carries 2 in his arms.

2 freezes a bit before relaxing in his arms.

This… this felt nice…

Optimus sends a message to Ratchet to get the med bay ready and to prep everyone for someone’s arrival.

2 just clinging on the only source of positive touch she had received in what seemed like millennia.

She doesn’t see the bots due to her slightly buried helm in Optimus’s chassis.

She gets set on the med slab and that’s when her optics zero in on Bumblebee and Bulkhead.

“Is that W-2?!”--Bulkhead

2 starts clinging on Optimus arm shaking furious.

“Prime! You brought a spy to our base!”--Bumblebee

“2 not spy. 2 is just 2.”--2

“What happen to your voice?”—Bulkhead

Bumblebee gets up in 2’s face with an angry expression on his face.

“And why are you here traitor?! You’re ready to try and con us too?!”--Bumblebee

THUD!

2 passes out on the med slab.

Bumblebee and Bulkhead explain their history with 2 in their early days in the boot camp.

After she was taken away, many things were no longer the same.

Bumblebee and Bulkhead couldn’t believe that she was the spy all along. She didn’t look like a spy or acted like one, but maybe that was the whole point.

Her arrest took the biggest toll on Wasp.

The bot was fighting any bot that got on his nerve and was nearly expelled from boot camp if he suddenly didn’t stop.

His overall mood and attitude did change a bit.

He could still be insensitive and play pranks, but they were significantly fewer than before. Wasp even became good acquaintances with Bumblebee at one point.

It was thanks to Wasp’s recommendation that he and Bulkhead were partnered in the same space bridge repair crew when he moved a bit through the ranks.

Ratchet, meanwhile, is mentally taking note of some injuries that had been untreated in a while.

It was clear that wherever this bot came from, it wasn’t a good place.

Especially when he saw the damage made to her voice box. That explained the rough speech.

When Bee and Bulkhead are done with the story, it leaves some questions and mixed feelings about the bot.

“There is still something off about all of this.”--Optimus

“Like what?”--Sari

“You told us she admitted to being the spy when Wasp was being taken away right?”--Prowl

“Yeah?”--Bumblebee

“No spy in their right processor would through themselves under the bus for one bot, family or not. Just me kid, I’ve met plenty of spies in my lifetime. She is not spy material.”—Ratchet

“But then…”--Bumblebee

“Do you mean…”--Bulkhead

“I don’t think 2 is a spy.”--Optimus

Bee and Bulkhead share a look.

If she wasn’t the spy… then who was?

She comes around and starts to shake seeing bee and bulk

Optimus carefully moves in front of her to not let her see Bumblebee and Bulkhead.

“2 don’t want to go back!”--2

2 tries to get off the med slab but Prowl and Ratchet hold her down.

“No one is taking you back 2.”—Prowl

2 stops abruptly.

“2 not?”--2

Prowl sits down next to her.

“We have a feeling you’re not really the spy, but we can only confirm it if we hear your truth. Can you do that?”--Prowl

2 looks down shaking her helm.

“Are you trying to protect someone?”--Prowl

2 freezes and refuses to look anyone in the optic.

Sari comes next to her putting both of her hands in hers.

“Hi. My name is Sari, Sari Sumdac.”--Sari

“S-Sari?”--2

“Yeah, I really want to be your friend 2. You look like a nice bot to be friends with.”--Sari

2 looks at her with wide optics.

“Sari… want be friends with 2?”—2

Sari nods.

“But we can’t if we don’t know what happened. Don’t you want to tell someone?”--Sari

2 nods her helm weakly.

Sari squeezes her hands a bit.

“Nothings going to happen to you if you tell us.”--Sari

“Promise?”--2

“Pinky promise!”--Sari

2 tells them about how scared she felt when she saw her twin being wheeled out after an accusation that should have had more evidence.

She took the blame to save him.

Everything she said on the spot was false and she had hoped that Sentinel was dumb enough to take the bait and take her instead.

At that moment she didn’t care how it made her look, she was worried for her twin’s safety.

She is crying and refuses to look at anyone in the optic.

Sari give 2 a hug around her neck cables.

“You did a good job 2.”

2 shakingly reaches to gently hug Sari back as the tears in her optics make everything look blurry.

She feels someone sitting next to her and a servo pulling her into a side hug.

The blob on yellow is all she needs to know who it is.

“I’m sorry for calling you a spy 2… do you think—”

2 puts her helm on his shoulder trying to stifle another sob.

The message is clear.

Bulkhead starts to pat her helm making her cry even more.

Sari pulls away and looks at 2.

“Sari?”--2

“I don’t like 2. You need a new name.”--Sari

2 points at herself.

“New name?”--2

Sari nods and smiles.

“And I know just the name, Buddy!”--Sari

She tilts her helm a bit.

“Buddy?”—Bumblebee, Bulkhead and 2

Then she starts to smile.

“Buddy! Buddy like name. Buddy is new name. Buddy thank Sari. Sari, Sari, Sari!”—Buddy

Bulkhead pulls the entire team in for a group hug.

Buddy is in the center of it spilling some tears.

For the first time in a long time, she felt safe.

Buddy was finally safe…

[pokemonshelterstories]

I am thinking about looking into fostering pokemon for my local shelter, and I was wondering if you might have some insight into what kinds of 'mons might be best for my care levels. I have mobility issues so any pokemon that are extremely active (particularly those that move fast) probably wouldn't be best fit for me. Of course, I'll be talking to my shelter once I get farther in the application process, but I figured reaching out to someone with foster experience for some more casual info might be nice too! What pokemon do you find 'easiest' to foster? Are there any in particular that you would recommend against fostering for someone with mobility issues? this is also an excuse for me to ask you about your most recent foster mons.

that's great! i'm glad to hear you're considering being a foster!

the pokemon you'll encounter most in shelters will depend on your region, so i can't get too specific, but you might want to look at fostering some older pokemon! these guys have a harder time getting adopted, and getting them into a foster home can give them a shot at not spending the rest of their days in a shelter. they also generally need less exercise, and you won't be chasing them around the way you would one of the babies.

of course, our resident old torkoal abuelita is immensely popular among the shelter staff, but another one of my favorite pokemon i ever fostered was a very elderly greedent. he didn't move around too much, and i had to brush his tail out every day because he'd store berries in it and then forget he had them and they'd start getting stinky. he was so so gross but very sweet and loved nothing more than sleeping on top of the couch so he could wrap his tail around me. he got adopted after a few months and spent a good couple years in his new home before finally crossing the rainbow bridge. he was a great nap buddy!

[fartquen12]

~Daryl's Girl~

Yandere!Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Trigger warnings: yanderes (obviously), mention of weapons, abuse, unhealthy relationships, kidnapping, overprotective Daryl.

During the apocalypse Daryl meets the love of his life... and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up out of your bed. Another day, another terror and to be honest you weren't very excited. You had found another group of survivers to hang with until you were on your feet again. Atleast thats what you thought. You felt sad knowing you'd leave... you had kind of built a bond with these people. You climbed out of your tent to see Hershel's farm an old man who had agreed for you all to stay with him until things were better. You zipped up the tent and stood there to take in the sights of the farm. The apocolypse was depressing but seeing horses galloping and cows grazing the fields made you forget it all for a minute...-

"Shutup Daryl thats a horrible idea!" Yells out Rick.

Rick and Daryl fought a lot... you never really payed any attention to the two considering the argument was always about something irrelevant.

"Everyone come over here!" Rick shouted.

You sighed as you ran over to Rick and the others who were standing around.

"Everyone, me and Daryl have to head out to the city... we need another person... any volunteers?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You, Rick, and Daryl were all sat against the wall hiding from walkers.. you were in a building on the bottom floor. There was walkers in the stairwell and surrounding the whole entire building. You sat horrified looking at Rick for any instructions. No one trusted you with a gun.. not even a pistol considering you took off one of Glenn's balls with one...

"RICK.... RICK..... RICK!!!.... RICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shutup mahn we got walkers walkin' around all over here." Daryl yelled in a whisper.

"I wasn't even talkin' Daryl that was you." Rick replied in an annoyed tone.

"SHUTUP RICKY!" Daryl yells.

"dayummm..." You whisper considering how loud he was.

"HUH!?" yells Daryl.

"you know why don't you go ahead and brush your teeth emo boy." Rick replies.

"I thought we were buddies Rick." Daryl replies before knocking Rick out with the head of his gun and grabbing your arm.

"DAMN BOY THE HELL YOU DOIN!!!!" You yell at Daryl.'

"SHUTUP HO WE GOIN!" Daryl yells shooting through the walkers and throwing you into his truck and speeding off

"WHERE ARE WE GOING!!" you yell.

"SHHH..." Daryl says

"DARYL THIS IS NICE AND ALL BUT I JUST SAY.. I GOTTA GO SEE MY BOYFRIEND NOW..." you say

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?!?" Daryl yells pulling over and slamming the brakes.

"I said I needed to shit." You say letting out the fattest most juiciest dear diary diarrhea ever.. I mean it was so juicy and stinky!

"DAMN GURL U SMELL LIKE THE COWS!" Daryl yells giggling and driving off.

"I SMELL LIKE YOUR MOM?" You yell

well that made daryl very angy and he whipped out a whiner and knocked you out.

____________________________________________________________

You woke up in some random room.

"you 'wake?" you hear daryl say.

"Im fahtin." you say crying.

Daryl rolls his eyes and uncuffs you.

"Your mine and you can never leave." he says.

You look down and see your clothes have been changed..? You see a mirror in the room and as you look in it daryl says

"You like?"

you are wearing a shirt that says "Daryls property" on the front and "Daryls Girl" on the back.. you begin to die of cringe and start crying laughing and fall on the floor.

"WHAT ARE YOU ON BOUT' GIRL!" He yells

"CRINGEEEEE!!!" You yell. You then run up to Daryl and kick him in the balls and just as you were gonna leave you realise the door is locked...

"uh oh..." you say. You whip around and Daryl is standing next to you with a gun.

"If I can't have you... no one can." He says pointing the gun at you.

*farts loudly*

"what the-" daryl says.. and in this moment it gives you just enough time to grab his pistol aim it at his head and *SHOOT* but the kickback on the shitty gun aims it at his balls instead of his head and you shoot off not one but TWO balls off his ballsack. you grab his balls off the floor and shove em in yer pocket.

"more for my collection fuck it up." you say skipping over daryl who is crying and holding his non existant balls on the floor. However once you bust down the door... you see you are still on the farm and the whole group is there saying "PRANKED YOU!!" but daryl comes stumbling out crying and saying

"fuck you guys."

You felt so bad you had to shoot shane in the balls and grab up his balls to feel better about what happened...

You threw the balls in a jar and added some water you found on the floor (probably shanes wener or pee pee water) but you added it to the jar and chugged it for what you call "ball power"

"YIPPEEE I GOT EM BALL POWER!" You yell

you run out and steal someones horse.....

"YOW FOKER GET ON GET ON FATASS!!" you yell and the horse begans to gallop and kick and buck

"YOU ACTIN LIKE RICKY YA BUTTFUCK!" you scream biting ur shirt.

You run out into the city and gallop over walkers and shit... but shortly.. with every gallop this horse is throwing you up and down and with every throw you are shitting out so much poop and the walkers are smelling it and-

"WAKEY WAKEY SUCK MY TANKEY!"

you wake up to shane in your face with his poop in one hand and a shovel in the other-

"I HAD AN ACCIDENT MOMMY." he says handing you the shovel.

"goddamnit."

[s1nk1ngst4rg1irl]

CHAPTER ONE: 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷?

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵ ˚₊₊˚ ‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻

╰┈➤ 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷?

╰┈➤NOTES: If you couldnt tell (cuz my writing sucks) you are a first year and daichis a 3rd year!! :). also couldnt contain my kiyoko crush lol. Also this ones pretty short lol

╰┈➤WARNINGS: you get smacked and cursing

╰┈➤WORD COUNT: 1.1K

╰┈➤masterlist

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵ ˚₊₊˚ ‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵ ˚

“Kenma! Get your ass on the bus and tell Lev to hurry up and leave that poor cat alone!” Today was not shaping up to be a good day. You had woken up puffy faced and your hair refused to lie the way you wanted it too. Then, Yamamoto had decided today was the day he would try and actually hold a conversation with you, buying a coffee that he spilled all over the front of your shirt. So here you were, in suffocating heat wearing an old stinky back up jersey and screaming at the top of your lungs so that maybe, just maybe, you could make it to your destination on time.

“You know maybe if you weren't so snippy all the time you’d have moree friends, hey if you be a little nicer you might even meet someone at camp!” Kuroo chirped, leaning out of his open window from his comfy, cushioned seat in the air conditioned bus and looking down at you. Mustering up all the strength you had left you turned to face him and grabbed his collar, dragging him out of the bus face first. “Hey! Hey! I'm sorry ok?!! Put me dow- AH”

“You can manage herding the stragglers into the bus, cant you cap’n? Have fun and don't wake me up till we get there.”

︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵୨୧︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵୨୧︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵

“Um, Y/N? We're here.” You peeled your eyes open, it was sweltering, the colors around you blurred together into a deep purple. “Y/N? Practice is almost finished so the managers need you to help clean up and serve dinner.” Dinner? Managers? Practice? Oh. Camp. Yawning and stretching, you thanked Fukunaga for waking you up, trailing behind him to the kitchens, stopping in your tracks as you see the most gorgeous woman you've ever seen. She meets your eyes and smiles and you swear the world stops. 

“Im kiyoko, nice to meet you! Ill show you the ropes.” You stand there, opening and closing your mouth like a beached fish, trying to find words that won't embarrass the crap out of you. 

“Y/N! Im Y/N! Its super nice to meet you too!!” god you're yelling, and the rest of the managers and some of the players are turning towards you like you're a madwoman and oh dear you should’ve never agreed to this oh god.

“Y/N! Finally done sleeping huh, well quit slacking off and come help us clean up in the gym!” You turn around to see your delightful savior sent from above, annnnnd its Yaku. Whatever. 

“Coming!, ill see you around!” you say, Kiyoko smiles, handing you a stack of towels before waving you goodbye.

The Gyms stinks of man sweat at icy hot, and you've barely taken two steps inside before you’re ambushed by yamamoto.

“See? We have a manager too!! Isn't she pretty!!” and all of a sudden your vision is blocked by a scary guy with a buzz cut and- a child?

“Hey,” you say, bending at the knee to get to eye level with him “Are you lost? This is a gym, not a playground, here call your mom on my phone, you know her number right?” You watch as he grows redder, from his ears to his gelled up hair, and then Yamamoto and his delinquent buddy are laughing hysterically, slamming eachothers backs with open palms .”Hey, this is serious, you know if you guys were walking on the street right now you'd look like kidnappers with those hair cuts right?” That makes them stop their tracks, buzzcut- you think Yamamoto had called him Tanaka?- turns to Yamamoto and says.

‘Wow, she is totally hot”

“I know, right? Isn't it just the best when she insults you?”

 What the hell is wrong with these people, you sigh to yourself, muttering under your breath and getting to work on wiping down benches before you are absolutely bulldozed by a spike straight to the face. Before you hit the ground and everything fades to black you see the face of a beautiful angel, looking down at you with the prettiest eyes you've ever seen. Like those choco donuts that inuoka always eats before practice. (He says they help him dig better, so far its not working very well.)

So this is how it ends, looking at a stunning man in a stinky gym. You were going to kill Kuroo.

︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵୨୧︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵୨୧︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵

“Hey! Step away from the light, away from the lighttttt.” You feel a light slap to the face, then a harder one. Blinking away the ache forming in the back of your eyes, you see a fuzzy outline of Kuroo, or rather 2 Kuroos, oh, or is that 4, and there's 4 Levs behind him and 4 Yakus and then there's the giant clump of red and black jacket wearing losers. So this is hell huh. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if you were a little nicer like Kuroo had said. Was this karma? But then the image of Kuroo is pushed away by an arm, a buff, tan arm, and replaced with the face of the angel. 

“Hey, you ok? Sorry about that, my team’s a little rowdy.”  And he tucks an arm behind his head and the muscles ripple and oh god. Karma isn't real, this was heaven, you reach an arm out to touch his face, his stunning face sculpted by some god. His face is cold...and... sweaty? Wait. Was this real? Were you fondling this random, real guy's cheek, in front of your whole team?? In front of half the campgoers?

 You push his face away as hard as you can at this revelation, wiping your eyes with balled fists as you get up, swinging your arms around to stay balanced as everything spun around you.

 “Shit! Sorry, I'm A okay, no problemo over here, just a quick question though, is this place built on a hill cuz everything's kinda slanted!” you blurted. You were making a total fool of yourself in front of your one true love, this was terrible. Glancing over to Kuroo for help, you saw his eyes flitting between you and the angel, a look of slight disgust creeping onto his face. God you wanted to punch that stupid face of his.

“It didn't really look like it-" The angel spoke. Was his voice always like this? It felt like angels were pouring honey into your ears. "Not to sound rude its just you were laying there for a long time, and you were kinda drooling.” Honey turns into lava and the angels are demons with spiky hair and volleyball jerseys laughing at you maniacally. When would the world just swallow you up already, his first impression of you must have been a drooling madwoman. This was terrible. Abort. Abort. Abort mission, new mission: get back to the dorms as soon as possible and then chew Kuroo out.

“Oh no! It's fine, everythings fine, um, I should get back to the dorms!”

“ Let me walk you back to your dorm to make sure you're ok.”

“That's fine, Kuroo owes me so he'll walk me back!" you squeak, ignoring the look that the middle blocker send your way.

“Oh.. well ok! But take my jacket, it must be cold.” God, chivalrous and hot? Who were this man's parents cause you'd like them to send a letter of thanks for putting him on earth.

“Thanks.” you say, taking the jacket from him. It was soft, and big, and it smelled like fabric softener. "I'm Y/N”

“Daichi.” and with that, you grab Kuroo and speed walk out of the gym.

︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵୨୧︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵୨୧︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵

“Are you kidding me, this is worse than when you wanted to bone squidward!”

"... Shut up."

︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵୨୧︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵୨୧︵ ⊹ ︵⏜︵ ⊹ ︵

[rosemarytraitor]

Daddy Loves Stinky

this dialogue is occurring between consenting adults. You should always assume this with my stories, but this one was too ~spicy~ for Patreon so I thought I'd make a special note.

Hi there, Stinky! How’s Daddy’s little rat boy? Daddy heard you running on your wheel! Got lots of energy this morning, huh, buddy?

How’s your cage? Have you been nesting? Remember you can move your pillows around however you want, it’s good for small pets to have deep bedding to burrow in!

So, is my little Stinky-rat ready for his di-di change? Yeah? Come over and present for Daddy, there’s a boy.

Aww, poor Stinky, there’s no poo-poo in here! Are you having trouble going? It can hurt your poor bottom when your droppings stay in it too long. Remember how we talked about how often little rats need to poop? How often, Stinky? That’s right: at least twice a day. And? When they get scared, that’s right, good boy.

Now, Daddy doesn’t want to have to scare his little Stinky to make the droppings come out, but your poo can’t stay in your tummy. It just can’t. It needs to go in your di-di. Understand?

Do you think you could go poopy in Daddy’s lap? Come sit here and we’ll see if you can get some ratty raisins out into your padding. Daddy will rub your little rat tummy with the warm lotion to help. Aww, Stinky’s so nice and squishy on Daddy’s knees! You used your diaper for pee-pee, good good boy, but now it’s poopy time.

Now, now, don’t cry, Stinky. Daddy is helping.

Once your droppings are in your di-di, Daddy can give you your changies and rub your medicine into your ratty peeny to make it be good. Won’t it be nice to be a clean little rat with a good peeny in a fresh soft diaper?

Bend forward, little Stinky. Spread your knees a little. Good rat. Let the poops out of your body. You’ll feel better.

Once you get really good at putting your droppings in your di-di, you’ll be ready for litter box training. Daddy just can’t wait to see his little rat going to the litter box! Going like a nice boy! Then when you’re a housebroken rat, you’ll be ready to be a good example, and we can go pick out a friend for you. Do you like that idea? Having another cute pink baby rat to play with? Or maybe a hamster? 

If your ratty peeny gets big enough, we could get you a soft little girl mouse to hump instead of your teddy bears. Shall Daddy play with your peeny more and make it get big? Or should he lock it up tight and get a big, tough gerbil boy to hump you instead? Can your poor little ratty bottom handle that? Or is Stinky going to have a nervous tummy and a bottom full of fear-poops if a big boy pet comes into his little rat cage? Is that how we get healthy poos from a Stinky-butt?

Aww, Daddy thinks Stinky’s face is turning red! Does that mean he’s gonna make raisins on Daddy? Lean over and make a little pushie noise! Push, Stinky … push …

That’s it! That’s my good little poo-poo rat going in his diaper. Aww, yeah, you’re welcome, buddy. Daddy loves his good little Stinky.

[breannasfluff]

“Here, you can use my old tunic.” Time passes it over and Wind shoves it on Noon. The coyote is swimming; Wind’s tunic was a better size fit.

“And now, a hat!” Legend pulls his off and settles it on Noon’s head. Only, to get it to stay he cocks it to one side, one ear poking out as it slouches low over his brow.

“He looks like a little hero! Give him a shield!” Four props his against his flank and Noon almost rolls his eyes.

“Now a sword!” Sky pulls the Master Sword from its sheath and rests it on the ground, offering the handle to Noon. “Here buddy, hold onto it, would you?”

For a long moment, the coyote considers the merits of bolting and dragging all these clothes into a nice, stinky pile of mud. But Twilight’s eyes dance with merriment and the rest of the boys cheer when he opens his mouth to accept the sword handle. The things he does for their entertainment.

Noon’s teeth close on the sword handle.

Light ripples from the sword and cuts directly through his chest.

The world twists and swoops. Disorientation has him freezing, trying to identify what happened.

Silence around him. His jaw abruptly aches and he drops the sword. It clatters to the ground in front of his—hands?

Hylian hands, calloused and tan, press against the dirt. He flicks his ears and sound comes through differently. A sniff, and scent is much too dull. When he tilts his head, blonde hair slides off his shoulder and forms a curtain between him and the others.

The Master Sword…broke the curse? All this time, he just needed to touch Sky’s sword?

Read the rest here!

[nishipostitz]

how jujutsu kaisen men get their first kiss

tw! geto x gojo, fluff, crack, kissing?¿ 😭 choso’s brothers mentioned. not taken seriously. not really an x reader or x anyone

starring!!! gojo, yuuji, megumi, and choso

gojo

it was in his second year of high school, there was this pretty annoying fan girl following gojo all around and begging him to date her. one day gojo was fed up and whisked up a plan to get rid of the fan girl for good. “i swear gojo i do not want to be doing this. youre stinky, too!” but gojo was not gonna let up. so he offered geto something ans he agreed to the plan. the plan was; have geto let down his hair and just sit nice on the bench. gojo would write a note and tell the fan girl to meet him under the cherry blossoms. so when the girl arrived, she would see gojo and geto kissing and get the hint “oh this man is taken”. but to geto’s dismay, the bench’s legs were a little unleveled so when gojo say down, geto slid down the bench and they actually kissed. lets say they both cried after that. but geto cried harder 😭

yuuji

he was only in elementary and he was just playing on the playground with his buddies. and suddenly, this really nice girl in his class came up to him and started hanging out with him. yuuji’s really nice so he let her play with him and his buds. when recess was over, they went to their desks to start working on classwork again. the girl gave him a lil peck on the lips and ran away. yuuji was so surprised what had happened and started crying because A) it was his first kiss and B) he didn’t know her that well and he wanted to save his first kiss to someone he actually cared for. so yuuji was a sobbing mess for the rest of class until megumi knocked him out with a textbook saying “i gave him a real reason to cry” he loves him.

megumi

he would rather admit his first kiss was with his demon dogs than admit he never kissed a real human before. poor baby 😔

choso

choso was keeping me entertained with his idea. so basically, he gave away his first kiss to a curse because it threatened him “kiss me now or your younger brothers get it” and without a second thought he kissed the curse. the curse didn’t even want a kiss. it only wanted to eliminate his brothers, but who knew he loved his brothers so much 🤷‍♀️ i love choso jail me

hopefully the gojo one was funny bc i got the idea before my nap and .. hehe

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 113

A five hour episode? Oh yeah, that means it's gonna be a serious one. I'm already nervous ...

What the hell is this? Oh dear gods this is bizarre ... Sam, you are a strange one ... okay, I'm sorry, watching Robbie through this bit is SO WILD ... his expressions are always so priceless ... and suddenly it's all like THIS ... weird shit ... that one was ... just ODD ...

Critmas music? Interesting ...Sam: "SOME of us can sing!" Yeah ...

"Secrets in your boxers?" Please, I never have to hear that line uttered ever again. Like EVER. Please ...

So we're still in the company of Vox Machina? Okay, then ... wonder if this might be their very final adventure together? It worries me, knowing what they're going up against ...

Meanwhile Scanlan has to let his current crew down easy ... wait ... YOU DID WHAT, Scanlan? O.O Samuel Tiegle, DO NOT do that to us ... we know this gnome is a little bit of a wrong-un, but he's never been THAT wrong ...

"Keg"? Oh, so we're introducing a character JUST to send them off? Interesting ... yeah, I figured Grog would probably like Kent ... wow, this bunch are just a bunch of frat boys, ain't they?

Who gave Sam coconut shells? Ye gods ...

Good point ... IS THIS the new Scanlan Shorthalt? Is he staying like this? Would it be easier for him to change back, or is there time for him to change back?

Now we're having a conversation about Scanlan pooping. I love these people so much ... XD

He has ZERO Dexterity? Hmmmm ... maybe we should rethink this after all ...

Grog can make him some horse boots? Oh, that sounds like fun ...

Yes. Time to go. Going through a tree, then. Back to Vasselheim. This is getting to be a second home for them now, isn't it?

Checking in for the night, then. Okay ...

Catching up, then? Oh, Keyleth and Percy ... I mean, yeah, these two have been together the longest, haven't they? The best of besties, I've missed this ... but yeah, also ... very heartfelt, of course ... they do need this ...

I love how Percy calls Keyleth "an investment in their children's future" ... that could sound a bit weird coming from anybody else. With these two it's just CUTE ... :3

Trinket? Oh, okay ... WHICH one is this? Is it the original? Oh my gods IT IS ... O.O ... poor ancient bear ...

Ah ... yes ... the Vax situation ...

Only Vex could wish ill on the Matron and actually GET AWAY with it ... XD

Awwwww ... sweet old bear cuddle-buddy ... I imagine he's quite stinky, but it's still sweet ...

Oh my gods ... is Scanlan trying for a booty call? With GROG asleep in the room? This could be interesting ... oh, okay ... wow, yeah, she's just LETTING HIM HAVE IT, isn't she? Don't go easy on him, Pike! He doesn't deserve it!

Meat Man Imports & Sexports ... snort ... LOL

He's being relegated to AN EXTRA BED?!!! Oh my ...

Grog pretending to sleep fools NOBODY. I love it.

Boy, that is an AWKWARD sleeping arrangement for a centaur, clearly ...

Wow, Cerkonos is kind of a secret Scanlan superfan, that's hilarious. "the Scanman"? Oh my fucking gods ... LOL

Early morning arrives ... okay ...

Travis just rolled a lethal death roll for Chetney! O.O But he's GROG right now ... does it count? Somewhere on Ruidus Chetney just felt a chill run down his spine like somebody walked over his grave, I swear ...

The various preparations of the arrayed forces, getting ready for the day ahead ... hmmmmmmmm ...

Nice, so the Pale Guard are basically like Sharp's Rifles? That's pretty cool, I can't deny ...

A summons for Kiki? Okay, then ...

Massive brass-scaled dragon? Oh yeah, awesome ...

The Stratos Throne? Really? That's a big deal ... O.O ... AND Aeshanandoor? Don't those guys HATE each other right now? Interesting they're playing nice for the effort ...

Oh yeah, EVERYBODY'S here right now ... it's a big deal all right ...

Lieve'tel? Oh ... OH, a guest? OH OKAY!!! LIam's back! So THIS is who he's playing ...

Nice ... so we got a real badass super-goth elven dominatrix type helping them out in this one, then? Nice ... yeah, this is a great one for Liam to play, definitely ...

So she already knows Bertrand's gone? Yeah, okay ...

Yeah, so please be aware I haven't had a chance to get round to The Search For Grog or The Search For Bob yet, so I'm NOT familiar with this particular character ... but she seems REALLY COOL ...

Wow ... yeah, she's just REALLY INTENSE, isn't she? Like I said, I'm really liking her already ...

Judicators? Oh, okay then ... nice to have them on OUR SIDE for once ...

Ophera? Cool ... yeah, she's really cool too ... and THIS is a very neat trick, too ... yeah, she's definitely a whole lot better at big entrances than Keyleth ...

Celestials? SERIOUSLY?!!! Holy fuck! O.O Oh yeah, this is just ALL the big guns right now!

Oh okay ... Keyleth's turn to make a fancy speech? Hmmmm ... PLEASE roll good for this delivery, Marisha ... Matthew, you are NOT doing anything for our girl's confidence right now ... oh yes, nice going, Vex ... that's JUST what she needs right now ...

Yeah ... okay, that's a strong start already ... yes. YES. Nice. That's it. Be a woman for the people. And ... "FUCK SHIT UP!!!" Oh boy ... XD ... yeah, that's more like it ... THAT'S our girl. :3

A single raven? Oh my gods ...

Inspirational Leader? Nice ... oh yeah, that is REALLY nice! Way to go, Kiki!

Nice to have a broomstick handy for running speedy errands ...

And now it's a massive SILVER dragon ... okay ... O.O

Allura! Yay! Always nice to see her! :3

Oh, so they're going in via skyship? Cool. I wonder which one THEY'RE gonna ride in on? What are the chances, hmmm? Or might that be a little TOO on the nose?

Well yeah, I mean Grog would've been FINE with just jumping headfirst into a crazy suicide attack like that, but ...

Yeah, probably best to leave Trinket behind for this one ...

Speak With Animals! Yay! Awwwwww ... and OF COURSE he still wants to go with her ... he's so sweet ... and yeah, he's still tough, of course he is ... all right, let the ancient bear come ...

Thank fuck Sam isn't ACTUALLY drinking out of that horrific looking thing, that is UNSIGHTLY!!! Travis: "It's like melted plastic mixed with decay!" Sweet fuck that is NIGHTMARE FUEL ... Sam: "I mean it's been cleaned, like, A LOT, but it hasn't worked!"

"Battlestar season 3"? Okay ... yeah, so they're all just going STRAIGHT INTO that shit, then ... so a retroactive Heroes' Feast is probably a good idea, then ... yeah ...

Wow ... yeah ... D&D maths ... always fun ...

Oh ... so Cerkonos LIKES Lieve'tel? Okay, then ... so no matter what, Robbie's just DETERMINED to romance Liam's characters, clearly ... XD

Fucking hell ... Grog has around THREE HUNDRED HIT POINTS right now? O.O Sweet fuck ...

Archivist Seth Domade? Okay, then ... yeah, this just got interesting ... I mean OF COURSE he's curious about what's happening with the Nein AND the Hells ... oh yeah, our boy is FLUSTERED right now ... Essek, be cool right now, boy ...

Holy shit ... HOW LONG did it take them to realise that this is Essek in disguise? DEAR FUCKING GODS, people! LOL You do know you spent TWO WHOLE SESSIONS traveling with this guy ...

Verin Thelyss? Oh, interesting ... are they related? THEY ARE?!!! So this is Essek's BROTHER? Intriguing ...

Oh, so he's a little bit of a geek? I like that. That's quite adorable. And I think he might be a little sweet on Vex ...

Ah, poetry... yeah ... LOL

Allura informs us the Nein and the Hells are now IN POSITION on Ruidus ... okay, then ... time to make a move, then ...

Matt: "The symbol of war has been triggered." Oh my ...

Fuck ... PLEASE let Percy and Vex get back alive to their kids.

The hoof boots? And somehow Travis rolls a 24 on his performance for their construction ... holy shit ... apparently they're completely PERFECT ... O.O

More Percy and Keyleth cuteness ... :3

Power Word Fortify ... and Death Ward? Lieve'tel bestows MASSIVE magical gifts upon Kiki and Vex ... and then she just goes RIGHT AHEAD and makes the first move on Cerkonos. Awwwwwww ... and he HAS to make it awkward. But she likes it ... XD

I fucking knew it ... OF COURSE they're riding with Xandis. LOL ... I love this ridiculous tiefling so much, I swear ...

So ... a fuckton of arcane portals, then ... this is it ...

"Majestic as fuck" ... Grog's awesome cape ... in his own words, of course ... XD

Awwwwwww ... Bertrand, we miss you still, you fantastic old bugger ...

So ... through into clustered shadow ... all right, what have you got in store for us, Matthew? O.O

Oh okay, that's a dramatic mess we're flying into ... and that's it, the first shots come in ... yup, that's it, it's all kicking off ...

Strength saves all round? Okay, first real rolls of the night! Roll good, guys! 33? Holy fuck, Grog ... he's stupid strong even now ...

Three crooked winged creatures coming out of the sky? Oh boy ... FUCK Vex is still a thoroughly EVIL shot ... Hunter's Mark that shit, girl! Yeah!

So Scanlan and Grog are the most prominent targets? SHIT ... I mean OF COURSE Grog succeeds his strength check, but Scanlan is now being CARRIED OFF by one of these things! Shit! O.O

Percy: "Drop the horse!" And yeah, No Mercy's still just as lethal a shot as the Missus ... BOOM!!! And the centaur is free once more ...

Path To the Grave? Fuck, Lieve'tel is a bit SCARY in combat ...

Kiki tries a Whirlwind attack on them ... yup, that proves impressively effective ... fuck, that thing just got PUMMELLED ... right into Grog's reach ... he swings his Bloodaxe TWICE ... and just SHREDS the beastie ...Oh yeah, that's TOTALLY the HDYWTDT ... fucking hell, he just EVISCERATES this thing ...

Oh yeah! Silver Dragon for the WIN!!! Nice one ...

Keyleth tries to take a look over the side and just gets BLINDED by flying dust ... yup, that's a bout right ...

Ah, so ... still a way to go, yet ...

Shit! DODGE!!! QUICK!!!

Well that was close ... and sounds like it could've been SERIOUSLY HAIRY if it had hit ... and then we see it hit another ship ... and it just NEUTRALISED the brumestone? FUCK!!! That's SO FUCKING BAD!!! Yeah, don't let ANY of THAT shit hit you, guys!

Air Ashari FLY!!! Oh, and Cerkonos can do that too? Oh, he can do ALL the elelments like Kiki? Sweet! So he's going too, then ... go help! Quick! Save who you can!

Yes! Save Verin Thelyss! Quick!

Oh nice! That's some SEXY FLYING there, Vex!

Okay, looks like this might be working ... and SOMEHOW they BARELY miss taking another hit ... get them off as fast as you can, guys!

Inspire THEM, not HIM! Pronouns, Scanlan! And somehow Sam makes a really embarrassing (and very classic Shorthalt piece of work) strangely inspiring for Xandis ...

Yeah, that's some pretty sweet flying, you spectacular tiefling!

Wow ... that was just a BEAUTIFUL save ... yeah, they got 'em off safe, just in time ... meanwhile the faling ship goes down SPECTACULARLY ...

Time to get ready to JUMP? All right, then ... GO!!!

Blessing of the Dawnfather? Oh, that's pretty sexy too ... I didn't even know Vex had that one in her! O.O

Thank fuck for Featherfall ...

Grog and Pike are getting SHOT AT?!!! Fuck ... O.O ... Word of Radiance? Yeah, that's a nice save, Lieve'tel! JUST too late, but still ... so Pike manages to dodge, but Grog takes a full-on HIT ... crap ... but he's Raging, so it's not TOO BAD ... but that's STILL a whole lot of Force damage even so ... and that's one ROUGH FUCKING LANDING ...

Oh, so it's already ALL GOING OFF in this place? Okay then ...

Cerkonos shows he's as much of a badass as the others as he comes down ... and yeah, that poor bastard is impaled and INCINERATED ... meanwhile our boy achieves a perfect superhero landing ...

Wait ... so the gunner is LITERALLY PONDERING THEIR ORB?!!! XD

No Mercy Percy strikes again!

Touchdown, then! They're on the ground and taking in what's going on now ... oh yeah, this is just pure fucking CHAOS right now ... the batle is just full-on KICKING OFF ... and THIS is where Matt chooses to call a break ...

Holy shit ... that is a MASSIVE Battlemap this time round ... yeah, the appreciative gasps and roars as they wander mback in to take it in are duly ENTHUSIASTIC, and rightly so ...

Setting up where everybody is ... and it's all just pure CHAOS right now, clearly ...

Oh, so now Keyleth's a FIRE elemental? Matt scrambles to acquire ANOTHER figure to represent her ...

So it's time, then. ROLL INITIATIVE!!!

Vex kicks it all off, then ... she casts a 4th Level Hail of Thorns, with her Blazing Bowstring and Sharpshooter ... wow ... that's a monster combination if ever I heard one ... so she goes for a Reiloran Juggernaut! Nice ... fuck, that's a lot of damage, plus it definitely rings his bell for him ... meanwhile all the regular guys surrounding him are just ANNIHILATED ... ouch ... so she takes ANOTHER shot ... oh yeah, she is SUPREMELY fucking this guy up ...

Scanlan clops up on his coconuts and Inspires Cerkonos ... with a bit of Chappell Roan? Nice ... :3 ... Reverse Gravity? Oh, that's DEVIOUS ... Out of the whole group only ONE manages to make a save so now there's a whole bunch of guys just FLOATING UP INTO THE SKY!!! Holy shit ...

Wow, those Kryn fighters are just BADASS, they're cutting folk TFU ...

Percy steps over the wall and encounters his first Reiloran ... oh, that's nice, so his walking stick turned into a brutal little MURDER BATON ... he shakes off the attempt to fry his brains with psychic energy and slashes them up ... it's hurt, but it's TOUGH, looks like this one's going to take some work ... oh, but his sword has A GUN IN IT ... Matt: "Go go gadget Pepperbox!" POW!!! Now the Reiloran is BURNING!!!

Grog charges up to the guy who's trying to hang on ... and manages to get HIMSELF caught in the spell? Shit! Somehow he manages to catch hold of himself, at least ... and takes a few big hacks at the other guy ... Great Weapon Master? Oh boy, here we go ... oh yeah, Grog kills the guy ON THE SPOT and then he just pinwheels up into the air spraying his insides all over as he goes! Ye gods! O.O

Keyleth jumps from one platform to the next, starts laying about with her fists, the burning Reiloran instantly incinerating under her pummelling onslaught! Oof ... then she runs off in the direction they need to go, setting another attacker on fire as they try to strike at her while she goes.

Lieve'tel summons a Planar Ally, specifically a massive white three-headed raven (literally Holy fuck!), then Tolls the Dead, aiming for the Juggernaut ... and that's a wrap on the big guy! HIs head essentially EXPLODES inside his helmet ... fucking hell ... so she just goes riding off on her big birdy, going to hover over Keyleth.

Oh great ... Scanlan is now being SWARMED by Slithers ... O.O ... oh yeah, they're just GNAWING on him right now! Fuck ... thankfully only TWO of them do any actual damage, but still ...

Crap ... what's this? Oh, I get it, that mut be one of those hive-mind psychic mothers ...

Meanwhile those poor bastards spinning in the air just CONTINUE to spin in the air ... XD ... crap ... now Keyleth is as well, unfortunately ...

Pike chucks a 5th Level Guiding Bolt at the Ball ... okay, this is it, then ... 22 points of damage? Hmmmm ... it CRACKS, but it's still definitely very INTACT ... nuts ...

Cerkonos screams: "Scanman! NOOOOOOO!!!" leaps into the air and casts Wall of Fire around Scanlan, torching the Slithers attacking him. Three of them are reduced to cinders, and the rest are at least SEVERELY charred ... then he just BAMFS next to Pike ...

Vex takes a shot at the Ball, using Sharpshooter ... NAT20!!! Yes! Crit that bitch! Oh, that's a whole lot more cracks in it now ... but she's just got herself directly MARKED by whatever that force is overlooking it ... but her SECOND shot SHATTERS the Ball on the spot! YESSSSSSS!!!

Scanlan casts Thunderwave as 2nd Level, trying to bash some of the Slithers off ... he turns two of them into jelly on the spot! Meanwhile he drops his spell ... and everybody up in the air too! Grog manages to avoid getting crushed, while all but two of them just go SPLAT when they hit the ground around him. Meanwhile Scanlan disengages, trying to use Cutting Words to get rid of the remaining Slither still grappling him ... and breaks free! Phew ...

Fucking hell ... what fresh hell is THIS?!!! O.O ... a battle vidulch? Oh my gods that is fucking TERRIFYING!!! Oh shit, TWO OF 'EM?!!! Shit! They start laying about and IMMEDIATELY start doing major damage to friends and foes alike ...

Shit ... in a single turn, the attacking vidulch manages to COMPLETELY DESTROY Keyleth's Fire Elemental form ... O.O

Percy opens fire with Animus on some of the Vanguard, only for his gun to blow up in his hands! Ouch ... repairing iton the spot, he starts firing again, wiping out one in the process.

Grog uses his Boots (not BOOBS) of Feral Leaping to mount the nearst vidulch, then starts swinging blows into it with his axe ... oh yeah, he's just CHOPPING CHUNKS out of this thing! It's trying to shake him off but he's definitely cutting his way into it already.

Oh no, bad ideas are never REALLY bad ideas ... Keyleth attempts to Dominate the vidulch in front of her? Holy fuck ... O.O ... that's the question, IS IT a beast or is it a MONSTER? She can't tell ... so she tries a Firestorm instead! Oh boy ... whoa, SEVEN D10 of Fire damage? Holy shit ... 48 Fire damage? Wow ... it hurts the vidulch, as well as incinerating a bunch of Reilora and Vanguard. Unfortunately she also takes out three Kryn soldiers with friendly fire ... oof ... then she transforms into an Earth Elemental and burrows down under the ground, coming up on the other side of the vidulch.

DEVILS? Seriously? Is this good or bad? Wait ... who's this ... holy fuck is that OPAL?!!! Fucking hell, my girl you're terrifying but also pretty awesome right now! She doesn't do any real damage, but she's still laying into the vidulch with some serious SAVAGERY!!!

Lieve'tel holds onto a Bless, waiting for her opportunity, aiming for Opal, Keyleth and herself.

Okay, now Grog is having a scrap with the Juggenaut on the back of the vidulch ... unbelievable! Oh hell, this big boy is definitely laying into him HARD right now ... and it has a Telekinetic Combo? Shit ... Grog hangs on, but it definitely batters him about ... so he just starts giving right back just as hard as he's taken ...

Pike chucks a Guiding Bolt at the vidulch at 4th Level, blasting it hard with a good chunk of Radiant damage. Staying put, she's immediately swarmed by a bunch of nasties, but she just batters them all off ...

Cerkonos, impressed by Scanlan's actions, turns himself into a Fire Elemental and funnels himself INTO THE ARMOUR of the nearer vidulch, setting it on fire FROM THE INSIDE!!! Holy shit!

Vex coasts over and starts peppering Pike's attacker with her arrows, wiping him out on the spot. Then she turns round and starts taking potshots at the vidulch, taking some of its legs out from under it.

Scanlan rushes up to the aid of the nearest angel, talling them: "I'm here to help!" before VOMITING Lightning at the nearer vidulch! O.O

Brass wings? Oh sweet! Here they come! Beautiful! Devossa strafes the devil and the vidulch with their fire, but since they're both immune to fire it does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ... hmmmmm ... somewhat inticlimactic ...

Grog takes a big swing at the Juggernaut and just ANNIHILATES the fucker on the spot! Then he leaps off and goes for the Reiloran instead, using Great Weapon Master ... oh yeah, here we go ... yeah, he just SPLITS THE GUY IN HALF!!! He yanks out the spine from the bisected corpse as he walks away ...

Oh, okay ... yeah, due to retrospective thinking, Grog also manages to finish off the vidulch just before he jumps off ... okay, yeah, there we go, then! Meanwhile Scanlan congratulates CERKONOS for doing it? Hmmmm ...

Keyleth Calls Lightning at 4th Level, landing it right into the remaining vidulch ... oooh, dice math ... 27 points of Lightning damage ... yeah, it's looking pretty messy now ...

Okay, looks like everybody's just trying to kill this thing all together ... meanwhile more Vanguard are arriving! Shit ...

Oh, so Pike just got rescued by a demon? That must be weird for her ... especially when it growls: "Go, small god!" at her ...

Yeah, Opal just becomes TERRIFYING as she jumps on the vidulch, webs it up and then CARVES IT TO PIECES ... O.O ... holy shit ...

Time to book, then? Okay ... they all bundle together and rush into the centre of the fortress, heading for the Malleus Key ... and that's it for the night! Yeah, that's a good place to stop. I was getting pretty exhaunsted, that was a HEAVY SESSION ... but also a very satisfying one ...