#be careful what you wish for etc.

[fastidious-and-a-mess]

guys can we PLEASE stop shipping riz w people. honestly at this point i kind of don’t even care if you yourself are also acespec/arospec/aspec.

yes, aspec people can be in relationships, etc etc, but riz specifically has expressed over and over and over again that that is something he personally has absolutely zero interest in.

he’s not just canonically aroace, he also canonically does not want a relationship.

“aroace people can be happy in romantic/sexual/queerplatonic relationships” is a true statement. “people who do not want to be in any kind of monogamous committed relationship can be happy in a monogamous committed relationship” is quite a bit harder to argue.

i’m just so sick of it. i’m glad we all understand that there’s nuance to aspec identities, and everyone’s expressions of and experiences with their own aspec identities are going to be different and personal.

like, it’s not even just about the asexual/aromantic aspect anymore. it’s also just refusing to let him not want to be in a relationship. why are so many people so resistant to the idea that he does not want to be in a relationship. like genuinely, why can you not accept that there are people who just don’t want that. who would just be unhappy in a relationship. why can’t you wrap your head around the idea that wanting a relationship is not a thing that everyone secretly wants. like, No, he hasn’t just not “met the right person” yet. because there is no right person. because he’s simply not interested.

this post is kind of rambly and not as effectively phrased as it could be i think but idc.

TL;DR: riz being aroace is not the only reason to not ship him. he also, explicitly and repeatedly, has stated he does not want to be in a relationship. “aspec people can be in relationships” is completely irrelevant because regardless riz simply does not want a relationship. please just respect thag.

edit: plz don’t like this is u wont rb. i won’t guilt you into rbing, it’s ur blog i’m not ur dad do what u want etc etc. it’s just irritating for me personally to see ppl interacting w this but not willing to actually put it on their blogs.

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[rattkachuk]

hm....maybe hockey isn't good for my mental health

[amiracleilluminated]

[thebirdandhersong]

in my you're on your own kid era again (I never left)

[saltyfinalboss]

Have you seen the new Dead Cells Immortalis episode yet? It's kinda interesting and they close the gap between the show and the game's lore a bit more

yes i have! ive seen all 10 eps on ADN a while ago, and i have some thoughts on it (spoilers for ep 9 and vague spoilers for ep 10 below if you care!)

i think episode 9-10 are hands down the best episodes and honestly pretty exciting, but it kind of makes me angry, cuz it makes me imagine how much better this show would've been if they included more stuff from the game throughout the whole thing instead of just the last 2 episodes. not even deep dead cells lore, just like having settings and characters that actually exist in the game would go a long way to make this show feel like it's actually related to dead cells

i thought the twist was interesting too, i genuinely didn't expect them to do that... which is weird to think about because the queen is so important (imo) in the game's story?? the real plot twist to me was not that she exists but that they decided to include her in the show, because the rest of the show does NOT acknowledge dead cells lore like at all LOL. i also feel like this about basically the entirety of episode 10, but i'm not gonna tell you what happens in it haha.

anyway one thing about episode 9 specifically that i HAVE to mention:

after going back and forth making hand/finger puns for HALF A MINUTE they have a fight scene with middelus (bootleg hotk) for LITERALLY LIKE 7 SECONDS and after ONE STAB FROM A KITCHEN KNIFE he DIES

look i know it's for comedy (presumably???) but you cannot make me believe this kitchen knife stabbed him so badly he died. it looks like it barely pierced his fucking skin

[luridparty]

yonny pikmin 4 🫵👍my head in going to explode !!!!🫵💥💥💥💥💥

[itsalwaysforyou]

jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesn’t want to do anything coach might disagree with…….

[skitskatdacat63]

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[jawz]

can't stop thinking about shannon hanchett's death. i feel sick. i don't even know if something like justice exists for what was done to her.

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[everlastiingiimmortals]

oh fuck me i just gave myself severe emotional damage thinking about the effort jing yuan would put into making sure his soldiers who aren't on active fighting duty have something special on their birthday. whether it's a day off if he can squeeze it in or a lil extra pay or a cake at the end of the day or even a personal well wish if he runs into them,,, sir ur soldiers rank in the millions on a good day please

[heartual]

had such a good experience with surgery today i can’t even fully explain

[pinacoladamatata]

eating my popcorn watching all this drama go down irt the larian discord server

[boyfridged]

this is only vaguely related to my last ask but it got me thinking again how much i don't like the type of scrutiny that some people engage with when it comes to headcanons. don't get me wrong, there is plenty of headcanons that i despite when they appear in a particular context because they clearly come from a place of total ignorance and sometimes even borderline malice; and there are ways of writing about characters that are very obviously rooted in reactionary attitudes. but i have also seen situations in which people of specific ethnicities were told they were not supposed to hc a character to be said ethnicity because of the classist implications. i have seen people saying that headcanoning a particular character to be trans is too stereotypical and that it makes them "sick." i've seen people annoyed about characters being a particular religion because "there's another character who was said to be that religion before" (shocking and upsetting to some americans especially: religions are real and usually have more than one follower so they don't have to be assigned to a single character per title as their token.) and idk i think we should all pause for a moment and remember that the pieces of identity that people assign their favourite characters are often their own. there are ways to reclaim these cliches too. it's a matter of intention. people often read themselves into their beloved pieces of art. and maybe it does not always create the truest image of the author's intention nor a revolutionary picture of minority rep, but no one claims it does.

[goldkirk]

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