#bc ups didnt have enough people to get it to us
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always by your side
#couuugh. whehezze#hold on#project sekai#emu otori#pjsk#prsk#proseka#ok thatsg enough RANK 96 COOOOOGUH WHEEEZE#literlaly cough wheez ei have fucking covid. i wanted to draw something nicer for the event but my hands rlly hrut snd my throat hirts and#i was sticking my head in the freezer in between matches.#omfg i didnt think the end sprint was gonna be so insane i didnt have enough energy. mfers made me spend 700 gems. nene please.#i never wanna open the game agaon.(guy who will open it tomorrow and sunday) 16 MIL POINTS.. pimh was only 9mil. for rank 80smth.#the hatsune miku colorful stage tiering economy is in shambles#'im never doing that again' [will do it again in august]#event was insane. started out ill -> only 1 rate up card -> charger broke -> assignments -> covid on the last day. Be fr#to my beloved sakurako and fixer i wub you. ill try to finish my nice profile but well honk mimimi.#NSIFFLKE. SNIFFLE. WAAAAAAH#this is so lazy but i havent drawn for myself literally in a week. other than doodles i did between matches#actually theyre like little bobblehead emus all over my sketchbooks i should collage them into anpost#idk how people get that subtle gaussian blur on their lines i tried it but it looks so obvious to me here.. maybe bc i used a thick brush..#ok wonderhoy i need to lay down so bad tylenol save me. I ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED MY LOZENGE IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAAAAAME
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like idk it just seems actually nefarious to take one of the very few widely known instances of queerness in older history being a symbol to show queer people that we've always existed and aren't alone for CENTURIES and taking away the queerness from it. like. i know some people say that ''the queerness isnt important in the book" which i mean in my opinion i could go off for 10k words in an essay as to how basil's love for dorian is integral to the story BUT EVEN APART from that its really just. having a real explicitly queer character in such an old and widely regarded classic novel is HUGE for queer history and this is just. literally like. its 2024. why are you doing queer erasure to DORIAN GRAY
#MAKE YOUR OWN SHIT OR LIKE GET OUTTT#WHAT????#also not the cishets going ''omggg queer people are predatory enough so it shouldnt change it to ship incest now" WHAT??????#girl do you see. what you are doing. girl. @ the creator#why do they let these people make adaptations. what the actual hell#amory rambles#SORRY IM LITERALLY LIKE ACTUALLY SO LIKE. DEEPLY OFFENDED RN WHICH IS LIKE SUCH A WORD TO USE I KNOW BUT LIKE#ITS ALL I CAN THINK OF TO SAY BECAUSE WHAT. THE HELL.#as an anthropology/creative writing major the importance of having these types of evidences of queer culture in history so far back#is something insurmountable in validating queerness#and to take that and like. oh my goddd#like i could go off for ages about even queer authors that arent so widely known as queer/didnt write explicitly queer things like gogol#who are erased to a point where you have to dig to learn about his history because its been so covered up by people trying to erase us#and like#in the year 2024 dear fucking lord!!#what are we doing???#sorry my dfjlksdfjsdf dfih8sojidfk s. sidhfojl kmsdf . im so actually mad right now LMAOOO#the picture of dorian gray#dorian gray#oscar wilde#tpodg#and like tpodg isnt even one of my favorite novels like i like it a lot but i see it as so fucking important#anywho#so glad we are all being loud as hell about this bc thats the way to make this mfer take notice
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)
#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers#art by seaweed#words by seaweed#X-Men Red#the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire#“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did#“he's a douche�� mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death#Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans#I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self#and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era#he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously#creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy#Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc#Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him#instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre#but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too#and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also#he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar
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sending this ask as an excuse for you to go hogwild with peppino/pizza tower chatter bc i like to read it lol
Using this as an opportunity to distract from comms bc im tired of looking at this screen 😭
I think despite the hell Peppino went through, there are some levels/places that he actually enjoyed. Or at the very least, wouldnt mind visiting again. Off the top of my head, i am thinking of the saloon and the beach levels, but also the mini golf area 🥺
While i was playing the game (completely blind), I just assumed the tower was comparable to a real life train hub area; portals just led to different areas and districts. As in, these would be places you could visit outside of the tower if u had the means to take urself there. Its why despite the collapse, in the pepperman comic i did, he still offers to take Peppino to his villa. It still exists, its just that the shortcut the tower provided is gone. (This is also why Peppino and Gustavo can still do deliveries in the forest)
So like, now that the threat of losing his restaurant is gone, hes like. Some of those places looked Okay i guess 😒……. And Gustavo is like (prodding) ‘which places caught ur eye, then?’
Without the towers (pizzaheads) influence spawning in monsters to fight, the mini golf course is very fun. He gets to run Very Fast (already the best thing in the world) for very long periods of time, and smash into things to score goals. And if he wants to be Normal about it, he can just. Play golf the normal way lol (golf is also just a very calm sport to watch. He watches that shit all the time when hes home, and then passes out in his chair without realizing it)
The saloon is always nice to visit. It did blip on his radar as a place to try out, but he wasnt really incentivized to do so until vigilante started inviting him out. He doesnt go out often, but it is nice to have a little friend circle again :)
And the beach is like. Its a beach! Its weird for him; he probably didnt have any time or money to waste on shit like ‘visiting the beach’ before, so he feels out of place w all these people running around and having fun. He just likes to lay down and be in the sun :) He stays late into the evening, and drives back home in his shitty car 🧡 Everyone knows when he does his beach visit bc he tans so easily 😭
#answered#chattin#peppino#long post#i did not put it in the main body of this#but i hc that he does jogs n stuff in the morning#or at least walks; i do it w my mom so shes not bored and SHE does it to keep her knee from fucking up#so i like the idea of him going to the beach early in the morning to jog#and then relax on the beach for the rest of the day#someone teach him how to listen to podcasts; hed love it#also also#i have no idea if theres like#lore™️ about the tower but im stickin w that#i feel like it would get rebuilt anyway bc enough people use it as a proper hub#that having it blown the fuck up may in fact disrupt some peoples daily lives 😭#peppino is like its ALWAYS been there that wasnt the fucking problem!#the problem was that some fucker came to me like an apparation to tell me it was outfitted w a PIZZERIA BEGONE BEAM!!!#they can build the fucking tower again; just dont give it the fucking death beam; please 😭😭😭😭😭#i think gerome n them would be way more cautious about who decides to take up residence WITHIN the tower again#maybe they didnt have any say in the matter but Now they do
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having thoughts about what makes an interesting idol rhythm game
#i can expand upon it but i think its mostly like. what's the gimmick it's using and how is it executing it#like enstars you have the 3d mvs that you can put whoever you want in and have different outfits to put them in#d4dj you have the dj booth layout that you play with and it utilizes it very well#hypmic is a rap based game entirely and also utilizes record scratching imagery in its gameplay#and then proseka and bandori. proseka's gimmick is very obviously like vocaloids#but in the game play its trying to be too many things and failing at all of them#they have some 3d mvs but the layout of the beat maps makes them like#not really. something i notice when i played it. bc the way they have the map layout set up it kinda grays out the video#which means you might as well not have it on. for enstars the lanes are entirely transparent#so you can see the mv clearly as you play if you have 3d mv on u know#and then like. idk the proseka gameplay just feels brutal.#mostly because it times when you lift off the hold notes and literally no other game does this#even games that use goods as combo breakers like hypmic dont fucking do that#also i do appreciate the flick notes in hypmic being just. flick whereever feels natural#helps a lot while playing to just flick whichever way you want#but anyway yeah i think proseka is relying too much on the vocaloid schtick and people just ignore the atrocious game play#like d4dj does straight lane better. hypmic and enstars are both ring lanes that do their gimmicks well#i do not like proseka can u tell#i didnt play enough bandori to really tell u whats going on there but i did not like the layout for their game#and its made by the same people who make proseka so like. no hope for me getting into it#anyway#shay speaks
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Mom called me a shitty roommate today bc after months of her telling me to rent a uhaul (too young to do so) and then flaking out on me whenever I asked her if we could it on x day, I gave up on trying to get my bf's heavy TV and dresser and ordered a mountable tv, instead of buying more storage totes so that I could add to the ever increasing stack of totes in our guest bedroom
#leading up to and since raine moved in i have thrown tons of shit away and so has he#we both moved from larger rooms into a smaller shared room#meanwhile my parents moved into a bigger room with a bigger closet and claimed the garage for storage space#i have several decorative items that would look cute out in the livingroom without clashing with her style#but she considers all my items ''clutter'' so i have to keep them in my room or in a tote#except all my totes are already occupied by other shit#i threw away 90% of my friends items that i was storing here in an effort to make my room tidier#(and to ensure that my items are not littered around the livingroom and kitchen)#i got a bed frame with drawers so i could store items in there#i am not a horder and neither is raine but we have to condense two peoples worth of things into one room and two closets#and like i said before we both had bigger rooms before moving to this house#my room was way larger before. even with my giant ass desk (that doesnt fit in my room) my old room#didnt look cluttered bc it had lots of open space. even tho that was a 2 bedroom apartment#and this is a 3 bedroom duplex with garage the square footage in this house was budgeted poorly#my hallway is literally a snail spiral shape so a lot of space is lost to the curvature#not to mention my parents have bought more shit than we had at the old place to fill up space that we all shared in our old apt#except i am going to mention it bc i think this is totally unfair#i get that my mom has never liked when my room is messy. she's my mom and she is going to nag#but she does not have to use my room or bathroom (she has her own. thats bigger than mine)#and i keep my bathroom clean for guests#and she has made it clear that she is unwilling to help me even when i ask and tried to plan out ways to cheaply get more furniture#raine has had tote boxes in his car since he moved in bc he knows that we dont have a place for them inside#not to mention several collectable swords (including limited edition skyrim sword and genuine damascus)#which is kind of a fucking road safety hazard since they are real blades#but he puts up with it bc he doesnt want to add to the clutter#i bought this tv and wall mount bc i know that as long as my tv is grounded to a dresser i cant rearrange my room to make more space in here#and im donating my current tv to the guest bedroom bc they wont buy one for it#they also wont buy a dresser for it which is why my mom was hounding me to rent a uhaul for raines dresser#(i cannot stress this enough. we are both TWENTY. how are we going to rent a car. we need older adult help!!!)
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why are men literally the fucking worst
#theres a guy in one of my uni friend groups who has a crush on my friend also from the friend group#and she feels so so uncomfortable plus she hasnt done ANYTHING thatd give a hint that she likes him back. bc she doesnt#and now she doesnt feel ok around because hes so attached to her and so so needy and its like. well. way to fuck it up dude. fuck you#he has been acting so strange lately and not in a good way. strange awkward and needy and like. possesive.#her and i also have another friendgroup where frankly i feel much better with and she does too. and its like. well the guy is always like#butting in but now really being part of anything? like its not like he comes over to the grouo to be with all of us hes just sort of . there#talking only to her or sometimes me but its like not nice its weird and annoying#ALSO HES SO PATRONIZING TOWARDS HER ITS AWFUL#AND hes like. a bit older.... where its not like. the weirdest age gap i dont think so. but it IS a bit weird considering some of the things#he has said. like the other day he made a comment about how my friend 'well shes so young like people her age sometimes dont get [x]' like?#if you think she is SOOO young and SOOO out of touch with people your age well why the fuck are you asking others if you have a chance w her#get away from her really#sidenote: today she was telling me and a different friend about this problem and my other friend said it was really uncomfortable and bad +#that he used to think the guy had a thing for ME BEFORE??? and i dont know if he also thought -i- had a thing for him but please god no.#even the hypothetical made me feel super uncomfortable. also i used to feel like that a bit like he might like me and it was bad and gross#so i dropped a comment that let him believe i was a lesbian i think? also got much colder towards him . like. thats what you get fucker#about the lesbian thing i meant that he told me about a friend of his that had it hard coming out as a lesbian and i said like oh yeah being#like that was hard for me also. finding out i was not straight was tough etc .#dont remember if i said the word lesbian i dont think so but i did say i like girls and i didnt mention boys at all so i hoped itd be enough#also people dont really -get- what being asexuas means + didnt want to tell him im ace + techically i Can like boys bc romantic attraction#is undefined to me but i was definetely not going to tell him that bc 1. im much more prone to like a girl and 2. not trying to get his hope#up.#so anyway it was gross to realize other people saw it too so i mightve actually not been insane to think he had a crush on me but it was bad#and also. i really need for my friend to be comfortable in class so i might have to kill him who knows. well see#spikeposting#personal
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rememebred everyones kh3 outfits and now im annoyed again
#twilight town people you were robbed so hard.......#its like. roxas in his normal outfit...this is fine its iconique i wish he got new threads but again this is acceptable anyways#the classic kingdom hearts look#xion. the black and ehite look is cute and while similar in style to kairi is different enough to be her own style and the colors are ones i#i associate with her...needs more classic khness but im fine with the results either way#axel..............................i discovered the shirt under the vest is like. a deep deep DEEP like maroon??????? and plaid of course#i think????? cant fucking tell either way it just looks like hes wearing different shades of black. similar in style to his old bbs outfit w#with enough org13 influence to be like yeah hes older with new experiences but hes still the same#HOWEVER. the all black look is simply lazy. like. u gave him a whole ass color palette in bbs and then refuse to add even a HINT of color#like im not saying make his outfit bright and colorful like in bbs and i admit axel in black is more recognizable than anything but like#come on not even a scarf as a call back? nothing to tie him back to who he was? nothing to be like yeah hes grown as a person? hes different#but still the same? LAZY. like come on what the fuck. ZERO of the classic kh style too its just a guy in modern wear i hate it#like congrats you made a man with flaminr red hedgehog hair look normal#he was so right for wearing the organization cloak until the end#AND THEN ISA??? its like. isa is what axel could have been. give him a little more blue instead of black AGAIN and its like yeah this is#this is saix who used to be isa who used to be saix etc like that is a man whos life experienced has changed him but he still remains the sa#same deep inside. now get rid of the fucking BLACK..#dont even get me started on the twilight trio what the hell literally ZERO of their previous personalities theyre all wearing fucking black#none of that old 2000s teenager energy its again LAZY. i hate these designs so much all of them everyone literally why#i have lamented abt riku so many times too but this time its abt the colors like literally who is that and where is rikus yellow#AND KAIRIS.........GIRL WHO IS THAT!!!! SHES TOO COZY!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TOMBOY LOOK OF KH1 AND THE SPORTY LOOK IN KH2#'its cuz shes older 🙄' NOT BT MUCH?#i appreciate kairis scenes with axel bc its the closest wr get to her normal personality when shes not acting as a character crutch for sora#but again CLOSEST bc i still think shes too like. soft? literally whereee is her fire where is it where is the girl that swuared up againstx#that squared up against saix wheres the girl that jumped off a balcony to fist fight heartless when she didnt even have a keyblade#girl where#theres no fire under her!!!!!#fucking hell#im annoyed abt everything now#michi tag
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just watched challengers at the cinema w my little sister. it was so intense wtf
#i was like grabbing onto my scalp just yanking my hair in the last 5 mins and at the end i yelled (quietly) LOVE WINS!#bc there were only 4 other ppl in the cinema lol#its so fucking stupid on the surface like ok complicated polyamory and also insane obsession with a sport bc that is what makes these people#who they are; as in the sport IS their identity as individuals that's what fills the void that lies underneath skin and bone etc.#blah blah basic shit about messy relationships with the self and romantically with others#but it's also so profound because despite the many obstacles and personality differences. they all love one another and the sport so much.#it's so weird it's twisted in a sense because it's like they only have one another and then obviously tennis (bc tennis is the bridge)#it's very.. codependent#i can't believe my little sister understood like not in a condescending way i cant believe she got it but in a “oh i didnt know you watched#stuff with this much emotion and that you cared enough to critique media“ since she doesn't usually tell me about what shes watching#and when she does she tells me about sitcoms ..#so yeah it was nice that we watched it together but also kind of weird bc#well surface level: the make out scenes were just us giggling awkwardly#and on a deeper level when i was watching it. i couldn't help but think about how#patrick at some point turned into an observer; he stopped being a part of the art tashi patrick trio (and tennis!) and turned#into a spectator#despite very much still being a fellow player#and then tashi became a spectator of the sport despite very much being absorbed in it all and in love with art (?)#i dont know what else to call it but her need to control him came from a place of some kind of care ... albeit manipulative and self serving#so Patrick and tashi are almost parallel lines if that makes sense#theyre kicked out of “the club” whatever the club may be (for Patrick he's no longer in the trio) and for Tashi once the trio is long gone#she's no longer a competitor bc of her injury#and then art is just in the middle of it all#and he'd always followed Patrick's lead in the past and then he started thinking for himself until he became so taken by Tashi#and then he just became her little follower#he just wants to be loved and told what to do because he doesn't know how else to live. im projecting? im projecting. anyway!#the ending. god. the ending sums up their whole past dynamic:#patrick is petty. art is irritated. tashi doesn't get their little dynamic. patrick loves art. art is forgiving. tashi loves the sport#(and maybe she loves them both in her own fucked up control freak way)#z.post
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I’m going to lose my mind oh my god I am so scared for this quincenera wtf
#NOT MINE BTW I MISSED MY CHANCE LMAO#but Jesus Christ family I’ve never met before flying in from Panama…. god I’m so scared#I’ve already been dealing with some wack ass imposter syndrome ass shit cuz of how I was raised this is gonna make it SO MUCH worse#I DIDNT EVEN KNOW PANAMANIANS GOT QUINCES#i was raised with almost zero influence from any culture whatsoever I wasn’t even raised close to that side of the family#and like I’m mixed with white but I can’t even use that as an excuse cuz the cousin who’s quince it is is also mixed#and that side of the family is super tied to the culture and they speak Spanish and shit#i don’t even speak Spanish even if the family from Panama doesn’t think ima. total embarrassment what if most of them don’t speak english#when I’m surrounded by white people 24/7 I feel like a total outlier but the second I’m around anyone else latine I feel like that but WORSE#i don’t speak Spanish I don’t know anything about the culture I’m from the fucking pacific northwest and do digital art and watch anime#i am so far completely removed from everything I’m gonna be sick#my grandma is already so judgy about stuff my uncle was even WORSE and made fun of the stuff that was too white or too American about me#my cousins throwing the party are the least of my worries cuz at least their mixed and second/third Gen too#but oh my god the family I’ve never met before I’m so scared I’m so scared#i was already thinking like. can I even call myself latine bc of how I was raised and how far removed I am from everything. I’m mixed so -#-should I just associate myself more with the white side of my family. am I being fraudulent by identifying with that term just bc I have -#-the blood is that even enough maybe that kid had a point when he said I shouldn’t count as hispanic if I don’t know spanish#and thinking about showing up to my cousins quince as. me. it’s terrifying it’s awful I want to go I want to meet these people I want to -#-celebrate my cousin and be happy for her but GOD what if everyone hates us and just tolerates us cuz we’re related to them#i would say we’re the black sheep of the family but I feel like white is more fitting cuz I feel like we’re just slightly brown white people#god god god I’m so stresssd out by this#is this a weird thing to be worried about is this stupid is this selfish#and to make matters worse I DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET HER FOR A GIRT#vent
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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is there just something about serilly x arle puyo that prompts homophobic men to leave backhanded compliments on my posts or.
#like its one thing to just get regular homophobic comments. right#like i used to get those with eighthato all the time back in the day#but like theres been two or three separate instances where some dude just like#comments smth to the effect of 'this is so cute! i dont like gay people though'#like??? okay??? thanks for telling me???????#it just happened on twitter but the other instance that sticks out to me was this dude a couple years back#but the thing about it was This dude was a regular commission client back in the day#like i didnt have a job back then so he basically paid for most of my ipad costs bc he would give me like. big expensive 4-character comms#and then he just. Randomly comments that one day#like did you. did you think we were buddy-buddy enough to just say things like this now. like. excuse me#the funniest part was he came from 14crush too like. Did he know#i really dont think i was that subtle about eight and ahato but. like. did he know#the funniest part was that shortly after that happened i didnt even block him out of fear he'd try and chargeback his comms#but i quietly added smth to the effect of 'i will not work with homophobes/transphobes/etc' to the banner of my commission info#and then he just straight up never contacted me ever again.#insane#anyway hope you enjoyed this story of mine
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had the most miserable experience today.
#Got invited to the party of someone I know and like well enough. And it ended up being a lot of people younger than me which is fine#But I also felt a little left out#And it wasnt like the kind of younger than me where they like need help playing the games and stuff#Oh also all of them were from a church youth group so that adds something#And I wanted to leave at 5:30. But my sister wanted to stay a while longer so we stayed.#And somehow my brother showed up#Well I know how he got there but he wasnt supposed to come#But I had to wait even longer since there were then 3 people I had to take home. But my brother told me he wanted us to go to the store to#buy a plushie for his girlfriend#Which on the surface is very cute. But it actually sucks bc his girlfriend is a secret.#And on the way to the store. I already wanted to go home but the party host called my sister bc my sibling left their phone at the party#And my sister said 'oh we will just turn around' but I was eager to get home and I said to the sibling who lost their phone that they shoul#pay me a couple buck s for the gas to make a return trip to the party. Also I had eaten a cookie that was contaminated somehow while I was#driving so here I was trying to coordinate getting the phone back and also trying to not ingest the rancid tasting cookie AND trying todriv#And I ended up hitting the curb loudly while getting into the parking lot at the store. My sibling who lost their phone got out of the car#And started to walk away. I raced after them and they told me that they were just going to go home#I told them no way in hell was I letting them go in the dark by themselves with no phone. They did agree to come back with the rest of us.#but very grudgingly#We got the plush of fucking course he picked the most massive one. And I had to pay bc he didnt have cash on him. And I cant even vent to m#mom abt this bc explaining this would mean letting out abt my brothers girlfriend and he already fucking hates me so that would only make y#Life worse. And I dont know how he has a girlfriend bc he is so mean to me and I dont know why anyone would find him compelling#And hes 5 years younger than me and I've never dated. I'm not exactly in a rush to date but I'd like to have SOME experience.#And hes been dating her for a while too. I told him he cant just have this covered for him forever hes gonna have to come clean one day#And so I'm reeling and having an awful time mentally bc I think I've severely hurt the feelings of the one sibling who likes me#And I had to go to the store when I really just wanted to go home and I had my sister giving pointed comments abt my decisions and the fact#Might have been poisoned by a rancid cookie and I have no one to tell abt this and to top it all off I feel like none of them even understa#How incredibly stressful and awful this made me feel#I am simply not going to take them places for the next month unless I absolutely have to#Bc thats the only power I have in this situation#Also my most minor guilt is I set out to post less vents on tumblr. And this is a vent so :(
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not to sound like an old fuck but teenagers are the fucking worst
#we went to go see a movie last night and there was this group of teenagers#ive never wanted to commit a crime more in my life#basically this whole group sucked but it had a catalyst of sucky of this one kid in a White Shirt#so White Shirt kept getting up and walking around like he was a recipient of the fucking boston marathon#he kept making super loud noises seemingly just to piss people off#he kept having insanely loud conversations and arguments with his friends#like i dont think any of them watched the movie at all#in the middle of the movie he walked in with 3 random people and things got so much worse#he fuckin kept waving his flashlight into the audience like a fucking prick#he got into an argument enough that his friends separated from him and also started walking around the theater#including this couple that came and sat in front of us (in one seat. girl sat on dude's lap like there werent others around)#and THEY kept arguing. and she kept standing up for long periods of time and sitting down again#we actually went out at one point. one of my friends yelled at white shirt to stop being a prick and asked an attendee to kick him out#attendee just came in the theater and watched while White Shirt was out of the room specifically so he wouldnt get in trouble#White Shirt was also acting like he didnt do shit#he ALSO interrupted people IN THE BATHROOM saying 'who wants to be in a youtube video'#anyway the attendee just did fucking nothing and let that jackass and his friends ruin an entire movie#i cant even tell you how the movie was because of his shit#anyway yea teenagers are the fucking worst and if youre reading this White Shirt i hope you choke on your own dick#bc if youre gonna act like that later in life youre never gonna get laid
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