#well surface level: the make out scenes were just us giggling awkwardly

[mainfaggot]

just watched challengers at the cinema w my little sister. it was so intense wtf

[dolliedarlin]

s a f e  i n  h i s  a r m s ⏤katsuki b. 

s u m m a r y : after rescuing you during a rescue exercise gone wrong, now Bakugou can't shake you off from clinging onto his arm.

l e n g t h : 2.9k

g e n r e : fluff

w a r n i n g s : cursing from our beloved explosion boy

p a i r i n g : bakugou katsuki x f.reader

a / n : this idea came out of nowhere so instantly got to writing it. i'm sorry for any grammatical or spelling mistakes. this honestly gives me Juvia and Gray vibes from Fairy Tail...they were my favorite couple after all so, yeah...even reader has a water quirk -oopsie! whelp! we can see where my inspiration comes from at least. enjoy they read my lovelies!

It all started when Bakugou saved you during a rescue exercise that went horribly wrong for you.

The ceiling had collapsed from above you and, no matter how fast you were at trying to avoid the falling debris, it was still able to trap your leg. With it's crushing weight, several bones in your leg were snapped, leaving you vulnerable and immobile. Your horrifying cry of pain could be heard throughout the building as it bounced off the walls, alerting your classmates, who were sent into an instant panic.

Most of them had traversed through the fragile maze left by the torn-down structure as you had stubbornly stayed behind to ensure that everything transpired smoothly behind your teammates. With the frail state of the infrastructure, it was difficult for your team to travel back to your location without possibly triggering further collateral damage that could potentially cause further harm to you.

Things weren't looking their brightest.

The pain in your leg had crawled up the rest of your body and paralysed you with its stinging bite. It almost brought tears to your eyes but you had to be strong, you couldn't just sit around and wait for help. That isn't what a future hero should do. With the dry air around you, you wouldn't be able to use your quirk so you got started on trying to push away the sizable chunk of ceiling that had trapped your leg beneath it yourself.

It didn't take long before you realised that your attempts were futile. Judging from the way your arms shock under the weight as you awkwardly gripped at the ceiling fragment, you wouldn't be able to get out on your own. Losing hope, you let your tears accumulate to the surface of your eyes and were just about to let them flood over your lashes when an explosion broke a hole in the wall to the right of you. The instant you turned to its direction, your (e/c) orbs met with the piercing red eyes of Bakugou. The explosive blonde didn't say anything and just hurried to your side with a scowl, easily lifting the weight off of your leg before delivering a blast that pushed the hard stone ceiling over onto it's back. You were about to say your thanks when the blonde saw the state of your leg and grumbled as he picked you up in his arms and made a run for the exit he had made.

Everything happened in the blink of an eye, primarily because the jumbled emotions you were going through was hard to process individually as well as conjointly. However, one thing that you were sure of as you stared up at the frowning blonde carrying you in his arms, was that you had never felt safer than in that moment.

After that day, the way you acted around Bakugou was never the same.

You never really had a fixed friendship group. Sometimes you would sit with Midoriya and his friends, sometimes with the Bakusquad, sometimes with the rest of your classmates (but not Mineta) and even with those from class 2B. However, you were beginning to hang around the Bakusquad more and more after the incident of your rescue.

None of them really complained about it, not even Bakugou, in fact, they loved that you were spending time with them, especially Mina as she finally had another girl to help her through the other boys' antics. It was a surprising thing coming from her, seeing as she partook in mischievous antics of her own from time to time, sometimes, even joining in with Kaminari and Sero's playful pranks.

Truthfully, you seemed to be the only other level-headed person aside from Kirishima in Baukgou's eyes so, although he was grumbling under his breath at first, he wasn't too opposed at your newly established presence amongst the group of 'annoying weirdos that followed him around'.

This was a good sign for you and helped you to quickly get comfortable around the blonde.

Nobody knew this about you at the time but you're actually a very affectionate person, you just haven't been able to find someone to direct that affection towards so you've been a bit touch-staved. That was getting fixed really soon, however, because, now, you know exactly who to shower your affection on.

It started with little things such as simply standing closer to Bakugou than usual. He would throw you a narrowed glare but after you flashed him a smile, he would relent with a huff as he turned his attention away from you. It didn't take long for him to get used to you being so close but the instant he had grown familiar with your close proximity, you gave him a reason to send another harsh stare and growl your way.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing to my hand you stupid extra?!" he snapped at you, almost showering you in saliva from the way he was shouting in your face.

"Holding your hand," you replied bluntly, flashing a wide grin up at him with your eyes closed. In protest, the explosive blonde tried to tug your hand away, shouting demands for you to let go. This is when he realised that you had suddenly grown a monstrous amount of strength as he wasn't able to successfully pull his hand away from you. In fact, his tugging had the opposite effect and encouraged you, to not only, interlace your fingers with his but also to hug his arm to your chest using your other hand.

"GET OFF ME!"

"Don't you like holding my hand, Bakugou?" you asked with an endearing pout and subtle whine in your voice as you looked up at him with big teary eyes.

"NO! I DON'T!" his hopes of getting you to let go proved futile as you just continued to smile and hold him tightly. Eventually, he gave up and let you cuddle his arm throughout the school day, glaring at the people that dared to look and point. Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, and Mina all commented on his laughable position, chuckling under their breath at how it didn't suit him to be so close and affectionate with a girl.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?! SAY THAT AGAIN YOU BASTARDS AND I'LL BLAST YOUR FACES OFF!" he was about to chase them down as they shouted and ran away from him, their laughter hanging in the air. If only you weren't still hugging his arm.

"Don't do that Bakugou," you pouted and pressed your cheek into his shoulder.

"Hah?" he gave you a look of offended confusion. No one dared to keep him from beating up those idiots, who called themselves his friends, before.

"I'll have to let go of your arm if you do that,"

Bakugou doesn't know why but he didn't put up much of a fight after seeing how dejected you looked at the idea of having to let go of his arm.

As time progressed, many people grew bolder in teasing Bakugou as your holds on the male grew even more restricted, which gave them ample time to run away if need be.

One day, when you had been cuddling into Bakugou's side whilst hanging out in the common room with the rest of his group, Kaminari couldn't hold back his jealousy at the fact that someone as ill-tempered as Bakugou was getting more attention from a girl than he was.

"I can't believe you get cuddles from (Y/N) every day, Bakugou," Kaminari began as you giggled in return, "It's Not Fair!" the electric emitter cried with tears in his eyes.

"Then you have her!" Bakugou barked, attempting to pry you off him just to throw you at Kaminari as you flashed the explosive boy an extremely upset expression.

"No!" you cried, clinging onto him as tightly as possible, "I only wanna cuddle Bakugou!"

At this, the explosion quirk user sighed in exasperation and slumped back into his seat on the sofa, letting you sit on his lap and nuzzling into his chest as his arms stayed immobile at his sides. In the background, Kirishima set about comforting Kaminari as Mina and Sero laughed at the comical scene before them.

Your need to cuddle and be close to Bakugou didn't stop there, however, you even had the guts to embrace him at inconvenient times.

There were instances where Bakugou would be cooking dinner in the dorm kitchen and you'd come up to hug him from behind. His only response to your embrace, after you had done this to him time and time again, was to continue cooking and to cook enough for the two of you.

The first few times you were valiant enough to bring the red-eyed temper teen into your arms, he had put up his usual fight before ultimately giving up. The case would be that you'd skip up to him with your usual close-eyed smile, pull him into a hug that he wouldn't return as he'd do his best to continue whatever it was that he was doing, treating you like dead-weight hanging off his torso. Sometimes, he needed to throw you over his shoulder or carry you in his arms to be able to do whatever he had to do properly.

Take for example, walking up a set of stairs, he would throw you over his shoulder and make his way up the steps as quickly as possible to ensure that fewer people saw. Times when you had been particularly eager to stand beside him, even when he's training, he'd use you for practice.

It started off as your idea, actually.

"Why don't you pretend that I'm an injured person and carry me in your arms as you run to safety?" you suggested as you held your arms out, smiling happily up at him. He was stubborn at first but eventually, he was carrying you in his arms as he ran laps on the UA track lines. It felt so good to be in his arms again that you would always end up nuzzling your face into his neck no matter how sweaty he got.

"Don't do that, idiot. I'm fucking sweaty!" he'd reprimand you often.

"But I like your sweat Bakugou,"

"HAH?!"

"It saved me that one time and I'm sure it'll save me and others many more times in the future too," you'll never forget the tomato-red blush his face flourished into that day.

Nobody knows why you came across as so persuasive to the blonde that he let you do whatever you wanted. However, from their observations and the speculation that stayed between the rest of class 1A ended up reasoning that Bakugou was too touch-starved to willingly fight you off him. It was cute. The two of you were secretly dubbed the cutest couple in class 1A despite not officially dating.

Your admirable persistence at staying beside Bakugou at all hours of the day has continued for several months, and now, Bakugou as well as the rest of your classmates, wouldn't be able to see you without seeing the explosive blonde close by. Often times, you would cuddle up to him on the common room sofas as he read a book or played the games he was forced into doing by his 'idiot' friends. Your interactions were amusing to watch and helped the rest of your classmates see a different side to Bakugou.

The desire you had to stay by Bakugou's side flourished and blossomed over the months as your initiation on being close to him made you learn more endearing things about him. He's very misunderstood so you're glad you took the time to get to know him.

"You don't mean to be mean, do you, Katsuki?" you whispered his name with the most affection and ever so gently as you reached up a hand to tenderly caress his sleeping face. He had managed to fall asleep with everyone else at a weekend night together. The previous week had been exhausting and so the Bakusquad suggested an evening of fun to lift the weight of stress off everyone's shoulders before another week of stress is piled on top of them again. "I sometimes wish more people can see the good in you," you continued, suppressing a yawn, "but I'm greedy,"

Bakugou will never admit that he heard your little confession that night as you slipped into the world of sleep cuddled into his chest atop him.

As of recently, you had been pestering Bakugou to hug you back whenever you went up to embrace him but he wasn't going to willingly comply until he found out why exactly you were being so clingy. He knows he isn't the best person to be affectionate with and that you somehow were able to see through that, not that he would ever admit to there being something deeper going on behind his constant untamable temper.

The blonde can see you with so many other guys who were more deserving of you than he was, like Kirishima and even that stupid Deku. No matter how irritated it made him feel to see you with other guys, he knows that it was ultimately better for you to be affectionate towards them than him. It didn't make sense to that someone like you was always so desperate to be beside someone like him.

The day he saved you during the rescue exercise was a one-time thing. That couldn't be your only reason. Bakugou needed to know your way of thinking and decide for himself if it was equitable enough to let you continue what you were doing or to push you towards someone else, whether you do it willingly or not, he didn't care. He needed to focus on becoming the number one hero, not you.

It wasn't until the class had another hero rescue exercise that Bakugou finally got an answer to the reasoning behind your behavior towards him.

Somehow, the two of you ended up trapped together. Bakugou could easily cause an explosion to get out but not without causing the rest of the building collapse atop both of you at a rate and amount that would overwhelm the explosion emitter. Your water emitting quirk was limited at the moisture in the dry air surrounding you so you wouldn't be able to help much if you wanted to.

Despite the dire situation, you were still smiling and moving about without a care in the world.

"What are you smiling about idiot?!" Bakugou snapped at you, his frustration at his helpless situation making him act out, what made it all the more infuriating, however, was knowing that you knew from the gentle and understanding smile you directed towards him.

"Because you're with me Bakugou," he was speechless, "whenever I'm with you, I know I'm safe so I can be calm and think of things rationally," your smile only grew at his stunned and blinking expression, it took a moment but a boost of Bakugou's ego was soon rushing in as he felt his heart do something weird in his chest. It made him blush but you didn't need to see that so he quickly turned away so that the only evidence of the blush on his face you witnessed was at the tips of his ears, "in fact, I think I have an idea on how to get out,"

Using your water quirk, you drew as much moisture from the air as you could before you took a limited amount from your lungs. You fashioned the water in your hands into a gentle drill that you then used to dig your way out from the building. You needed to take multiple breaks, however, as utilising water from your lungs required you to hold your breath but in no time at all, you and Bakugou were out and safe.

After that day, Bakugou finally hugged you back every time you embraced him.

He became less grumbly at the fact that you were always reaching out to touch and cuddle up to him, actually, he made it a point that you would only want to be close to him and no one else. Everyone practically saw the hidden smirk on his lips every time he pressed your happily smiling face into his chest as his arms wrapped around your waist tightly, with his smirk all the boys around him he would glower at as if to stake his claim over you and the affection you were showering him with.

Bakugou could get used to this. He should've given you a chance earlier because he surprisingly liked having you wrapped up in his arms, your face tucked into the crook of his neck, your chest pressed up against his as your arms wrapped around his torso.

"Katsuki," you looked up at him as he grunted in return, maneuvering your face back into the junction between his shoulder and neck. It was a place that your face fit perfectly into and he needed you to always have your face pressed up against that area or else his neck would feel too exposed and naked, "since you're okay with hugging me back now..."

"What is it?" you didn't answer so he pulled away to look you in the eyes, "Spit it out,"

"Can I have a kiss?"

“Uh-“

n a v i . | bnha mlist

[watchtower-feed]

Another Flashpoint

Notes: As soon as I watched Justice League Apokolips, I started writing this out of frustration and my brain wouldn’t let me stop even when it hit 2k words! Apart from the title and summary, there are no spoilers here. Words: 3,882

      Pebbles dug into his knees as he prepared to sprint back in time to save everything. To change everything. The non-existent pain was almost enough to make him stand up again, tell Constantine ‘no,’ and walk away from them forever. But the image of the ruined world on the horizon was an eyesore, a piercing glass embedding deeper and deeper into his heart.

      So he ran. Barry Allen kicked off from the shoreline of Titans tower and left the dust trailing after him as he entered the light of the speed force. As always, whiplash greeted him harshly, slapping the sides of his jaws and forcing him to blink for a millisecond.

      Just like last time, he navigated his way through the memories of this timeline. He had to relive the same events of torture and happiness within a micro-second, clenching his fist to keep his eyes forward. He had to go back as early as he can. He had to see his mother.

      When Barry tumbled out of the speed force, his body skidded along the road, unable to keep himself upright from the exhaustion that is finally hitting him. He laid on the ground while he felt his lungs desperately rise up and down. Before Barry could recover, a small shadow of a child loomed over him, hair falling down the side as curious eyes stared at him.

      “Whatcha doin’ there, mister?” you ask him.

      Barry’s stunned. He’s never seen you in his entire life before. He looked around quickly to assess where he had landed. He was right across his old house where he can see his mother, Nora Allen, preparing the cake for his birthday.

      Your gaze suddenly landed on the insignia on his chest. Then you looked back at him with such glee. “You’re the Flash!” you yelled out enthusiastically. You quickly helped him up and started dragging him back into the house. Barry is still too stunned to think straight. His mom shouldn’t see him. Nora can’t see his future self. But he couldn’t resist your pull on him.

      “Mom! Mom!” you yelled out as you dragged Barry toward his mother. “The Flash is here! The Flash is here!”

      “The Flash?” Nora asked with suspicion, looking at Barry from head to toe.

      “Yep!” you giggled, “You hired someone to be the Flash at my birthday party!” you let go of Barry and ran up to your mother to give her a hug. She quickly carried you in her arms and pointed a kitchen knife at Barry. “Mom, what are you doing?”

      “Sweetie, that’s not the Flash.”

      You stared at the man standing awkwardly by your entryway. His costume was different but there was no denying that the insignia on his chest is the Flash’s symbol.

      Barry’s eyes widened as he stared at you and his mother. “She’s… your mother? And she’s your…?” Barry quickly tried to level his head. “Wait. Do you have a son?” he asked.

      Nora’s eyes quickly narrowed and backed away from Barry, refusing to answer him. But you were so young and so innocent, and you still believed that Barry is the Flash that you know. The first Flash.

      “He… died,” you answered and buried your head into your mother’s shoulders.

      Nora tried her best to comfort you while keeping the knife aimed at Barry’s chest.

      Barry was completely taken aback. This isn’t his past.

      The sun glinted against Nora’s knife and Barry quickly put up his hands and spoke in a lower voice, “Woah-- I’m not here to hurt you. I’m just passing through--”

      “Watch out!” your yell rang out like an echo inside Barry’s head as he quickly turned to find a man with a gun aimed at him. With ease, he broke apart the man’s gun before his finger could even press the trigger. 

      As time continued slowly, Barry took a look at the man and saw a young boy, a teenager.

      When time went back to normal, the boy, Nora, and you were surprised to watch the unassembled gun fall to the floor.

      You looked back at Barry. “He is the Flash! He’s the real Flash!”

      The teenage boy clicked his tongue and tried to escape. But before he could take a step, Barry tripped him. He grabbed his collar and slammed him against the wall. “Who are you? Why are you after them?”

      The teenage boy stared at Barry with wide eyes and full of fear. His fingers trembled as they tried to pry the Flash off of him. “Let go of me!”

      “Flash!”

      Nora’s voice quickly settled him down like a soft cascading waterfall. 

      “He’s just a kid,” Nora said softly while rubbing your head. His grip loosened and the young boy took this chance to run out of the house. Barry looked at the two of you. You wrapped your short arms around Nora’s neck. “His father killed my son and my husband.” Hearing his own death from his mother’s lips made Barry’s knees weak. “He’s in jail but that boy-- He blames us.”

      “No.” Barry shook his head. Thawne was the one who murdered his mother in a rage. Now he’s sure that he’s in a completely different timeline. An alternate universe where he and his father are dead. 

      Without sparing you or Nora another glance, he ran away fast enough to once again enter the speed force. As the white light surrounded him, he slapped his cheeks harshly. “Gotta do it right this time. No more wrong turns.”

      Barry kept his eyes away from the memories but one memory that doesn’t exist in any of his timelines distracted him. He was in a hall filled with family and friends. He was under an arch of white balloons and facing you.

      He was distracted and he tripped out of the speed force. He kept rolling on the floor until your boot promptly stopped him. 

      “Long time no see,” you teased and waited for him to slowly turn around and look at you. It was definitely you, the little girl that was in Nora’s arms. Grown-up. A young adult. And wearing the Flash’s insignia. “I knew you’d be coming by here again.”

      The Flash stared at you and you chuckled, “Well, are you just going to sit on the ground?” You removed your boot and positioned your body to sprint, “or are you joining me for a run?”

      You sped off and let the city lights blur hazily around you, feeling the wind run through your hair, tangling and unraveling at the same time. Running at the speed of light was the best feeling you have ever experienced.

      But having someone just as fast as you, running beside you was a whole new experience.

      “Who are you?” Barry asked as soon as he caught up.

      “I’m the Flash!” you boasted and took a sharp turn to try and impress him. “Isn’t that obvious?”

      “I’m the Flash--”

      “I know! But you’re also Barry-- you look so much like him. You must be another Flash from another world.”

      Barry’s head was suddenly spinning. He has definitely confirmed that there are alternate timelines, alternate universes, and within these alternates, there are also alternate worlds. He suddenly regrets not taking string theory as a minor in college.

      Deciding not to waste any more time, Barry picked up his pace and entered the speed force again, leaving you behind as you shout after him. This time he wasn’t going to let anything distract him.

      This proved to be more difficult because new memories were surfacing. Almost all of them are none he remembers. But it’s his face, his body, his mannerisms. Every scene had him in it and he was intimate with you. A wedding. A honeymoon. Anniversaries. At the hospital.

      “STOP!”

      You throw yourself against Barry until the two of you are forced out of the speed force. Instinctively, Barry wraps his arms around you to take most of the brunt force as you skid along an empty highway.

      When all the spinning had stopped, Barry looks at you. You’re older, maybe just a decade had gone by since he last saw you, but there was something in your eyes that felt older. He could almost relate to it.

      Your eyes start tearing up and you pound against his chest, “Please, Barry. Just stop…” You lean your forehead against his chest and shake your head as the tears stream down.

      “Hey hey…,” he whispers softly as he rubs your head. 

      “Barry,” you call out and finally look up. Your eyes roam desperately over his features before you frown deeply. “You’re not really him, are you?” Barry’s eyebrows rose up. “You’re not my Barry.”

      Barry’s eyes widen.

      You wipe your tears harshly and laugh mockingly, “My Barry would have kissed me by now.”

      Barry blushes a little at the thought, but the thought also quickly jolts his mind into overdrive, “So the memories… they weren’t mine--”

      “They were mine,” you finish.

      “But you and Barry-- aren’t we siblings?”

      You stare at him before you laugh, real this time. “I’m-- I was Barry’s childhood friend!” You slowly stop laughing as you get to the sad part, an explanation you’ve rehearsed so many times because people kept asking you.

      “My parents were killed in a car accident and the Allens took me in. I was so young that all I’ve ever called Nora and Henry is mom and dad. Nora had been so good to me even when Barry and I got married. She kept treating me like her own child.”

      Barry closes his eyes and takes in one long deep breath before he slowly unwraps his arms around you. “Okay. I think I’m the one who needs an explanation here.”

      “Barry-- my Barry wasn’t dead before you-- before your first visit… I wanted to have Henry in our life, too.”

      Barry gives you a long look before he’s slowly piecing the dots together, “I was in your flashpoint!”

      Slowly, you nod your head and close your eyes before you whisper, “But I didn’t make it in time. I just saw it happen.” Barry was looking at you more confused. He wonders if all speedsters have always been like this-- if he had always been like this, rushing through thoughts without proper context.

      You look at him again and decide to explain from the beginning, “I had to go back in time. As soon as I found out I could do it, I knew I had to save Henry.” You suddenly clench your fists and hit him on the chest, “But you--! It would have worked if it weren’t for you!”

      “What are you talking about?”

      “You did it first. You created the very first Flashpoint and you brought Eobard Thawne into my world!”

      Barry’s eyes widened. “Oh no.” He suddenly remembers the first Flashpoint, Eobard had been there. He was the only one in that timeline that knew it was an alternate one. Even when the Amazons and Atlanteans waged war he was calm, like he knew something. Like he had done something.

      “He told me,” you continue and cling onto Barry’s suit, “when he was there, Eobard told me everything. When he slipped through the speed force, he found himself in front of our house. As soon as he saw you, his objective became clear. He killed Barry and Henry and framed that boy’s father. It was only when Nora and I came home that he realized he was in a completely different timeline.”

      Your voice has gotten lower and your eyes are trained to the ground. You stare at the asphalt as you remember everything. “I was just seconds too late to stop him.”

      You bite your bottom lip as you remember the scene in front of you. Barry was a small child who laid limp on the floor beside the man who you knew as a father.

      “I tried to fight Eobard to save Nora and my younger self,” you say weakly. “But I was weak and I was scared. Seeing their bodies-- I just ran away, while he chased me. I ran and I ran until I finally came back to the present, hoping nothing had changed-- that it was just a dream.” You close your eyes and your voice breaks when you speak, “But I was wrong. Henry. Nora. Barry-- Our kids-- they were all gone.”

      Barry winces at the way your eyes looked into his like you’re talking to your own Barry, telling him what had happened. He tries to fight the urge to comfort you but can’t, “I’m sorry--”

      “No, you’re not!” you lash out suddenly. Then with a shaky breath, you continue, “I went back. Of course, I went back. There was nothing else to live for. So I ran back and I fixed it. Eobard was gone. I fixed it, Barry! I really fixed it!”

      Your eyes were staring into Barry’s eyes, willing him to imagine it. A world where none of his family members have been murdered. “Henry was alive. Barry was alive. We lived another life together and it was even better this time. We were so inexplicably happy--”

      You stop abruptly and drag Barry up to stand with you. “But you--” you were gripping him by the sides of his cowl along his jaw and glaring at him. Your voice is like venom when you spoke again. 

      “Eobard was like a virus. The moment he wormed his way into our world, he left a gaping crack that made us vulnerable to everything you did in yours-- Barry, every time you changed your timeline, you were dragging our world through the mud with you.”

      Barry gaped. “You…” He doesn’t finish his sentence which only makes you angrier. You grit your teeth.

      “Do you have any idea what it felt like to wake up and find that my whole family-- my whole bloodline never existed! To find out that I have no world!”

      Barry held onto your hands as it all came to him like a speeding truck, “Your world merged with mine--”

      “And I had no place in it!” you yell out. “No identity! No powers! And no family!” You’re exhausted and you can hear your breathing. “I tried so hard to get in contact with you but you’re untouchable, Barry Allen.” You laugh a little and it hurts, “I was married to you, had kids and everything and yet I couldn’t even get your stupid number.”

      Barry thinks for a moment and then mutters, “Batman. He took measures to hide our identities even from civilians.”

      “So you can only imagine how much harder it was to try and get your attention as the Flash.”

      Barry doesn’t know what to say and you have no more words to get off your chest. What’s done is done. You can’t have your world back. Not anymore. You just wanted to say your piece so he knows how much he’s risking every time he creates another Flashpoint, even if it is necessary this time.

      “I’m sorry but I have to change everything again,” Barry finally says. “My last trip-- it brought Darkseid to Earth and he destroyed everything. We lost everything.”

      “I know,” you tell him, “I was there. I’ve been living in your world.”

      “Right… wait. How did you get your powers back?”

      You raise your hand and let it vibrate, checking to see if it really is still there. “I felt it when you entered the speed force again. It let my powers slip through and return to me.” You put your hand back down. “The first thing I did was run after you.”

      A lightbulb finally clicked inside Barry’s head, “I haven’t been running through my past. I’ve been going through yours!”

      “And you were altering my memories while I was in the speed force,” you punch him. “Thanks for that!”

      “Ow-- okay.” Barry stands upright. He finally understands. “So where are we right now?”

      You look around and recognize the highway immediately. “We’re still in my past. This is where Barry first proposed to me-- in our original timeline.” You can still see it in your head. You were running while carrying Barry in your arms. He loved the feeling of the rush but he always had to keep his eyes closed. When you started hearing the first words of his proposal, you stopped here.

      “I’m truly sorry-- I-- Dang it. I don’t even know your name.”

      “Don’t be. It’s not like you’re my husband or anything.” You laugh nervously, trying to hide the quivering of your lips. “It’s Y/N.”

      Barry holds your shoulders and squeezes them. He knows what it feels like to have lost someone. He knows how it feels to have lost the ones you love like how you have.

      “Y/N, let’s change it. One last time. Together this time.”

      You shake your head, “My world is gone, Barry. We can visit my pasts but all you’re going to be doing is changing my memories. Your past will have a stronger effect than mine.”

      Barry tightens his hold on you, urging you to really hear him out, “Then we’ll share. After we change it, we can both be the Flash.”

      That’s not what you want. That was never truly what you wanted. What you want is your family. You want your Barry.

      This Barry isn’t yours and he never will be.

      “What if I lose my powers again after it’s done?” you whisper.

      He shakes his head, “We won’t know until we try. What other choice do we have?”

      He’s right. It’s not like you want to go back to how the world is now. But there’s still one last thing that’s been bugging you. One last problem that you’ve noticed has been happening the longer you stay in your merged world.

      “Barry, what if I lose all of my memories?” You put your hands over his, “I’m the only thing left that existed in my world. What if you change it one more time and it completely erases me, too?”

      He stoops down to look straight into your eyes, “I can’t promise anything, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” Your eyes hold his gaze even when you start crying. Barry wipes your tears away, “Let’s enter the speed force together and change the past together. I promise,” he takes one of your hands in his, “I won’t let go. I’ll do everything I can to bring you back with me. I at least owe you that.”

      That’s the best Barry can promise you. A chance to continue to exist. If you forget your memories, you won’t know the pain you’ve been living with. You won’t know your Barry. He’ll be gone forever.

      You squeeze his hand before pulling him close until your lips meet. Barry makes a muffled sound before slowly melting into the kiss, closing his eyes and tipping his head to the side to deepen it. When you bitterly part, you lean your head on his chest, “I just wanted one last kiss. Even if you’re not him.”

      Barry holds you and brushes your hair, just like how your Barry used to. Before the two of you run into the speed force, Barry holds your hand in his and squeezes it.

      When you enter the speed force, your memories are no longer displayed on the sides like an exhibit in a gallery. They’ve been replaced by Barry’s. And not a single one has you in them.

      “Close your eyes,” Barry tells you and squeezes your hand.

      You let Barry guide you in the speed force. Sooner than you realize, you’re leaving it with much better landing this time. You open your eyes and find yourself in front of your house. You watch Nora set up for your birthday party alone.

      “What are we changing?” you ask.

      Barry swallows before he finally tells you. “I have to stop myself from saving Nora.” Your eyes widen as you watch the woman you’ve always known as your mother. Before you could say anything Barry turns to you with lines around his eyes, “I saved my mother. Constantine told me that if I hadn’t done that, Darkseid wouldn’t have come to Earth.”

      You grip his arm, “Please, Barry. I’ve seen your father die. Not Nora, too--”

      Barry can’t look at you. This is hard on him, too. “Y/N, you have to help me stop myself because…” he looks at you and you can see tears wanting to spill over his eyes, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

      You bite your lips and let the tears fall because this is the worst thing that could ever happen. You just wanted to save Henry, to let him be part of your lives. You never knew that your Barry had to pay that price and now, Nora too.

      You let go of Barry’s arm and squeeze his hand instead. “Together then. We’ll share the burden, too.”

      Barry gives you a long look before he nods.

      It’s one of the longest moments of your lives. Standing on the sidelines and watching an intruder make his way into your home. You and Barry try so hard to ignore Nora’s call for help, squeezing each others’ hands and digging nails into the skin.

      As soon as Barry’s other self, from his first trip, enter the scene, you move first. You throw yourself at him until you’re both hidden in the bushes.

      “What-- Who--”

      You all hear the last ear-piercing scream from Nora. You watch as the Barry in front of you stares into the windows and his face falls. When he turns to you, his face is distorted in anger, “You--!”

      Barry, the present Barry, puts his hands on his shoulder. When he turns to him, he shakes his head gingerly, “We can’t change the past because… it’s not just our future we’re changing. Go back.”

      You can see the recognition slowly dawning on the younger Barry. It breaks your heart when he too finally resigns from the same mission you’ve all been going through. He disappears before you can say anything.

      Barry helps you up. “Thank you.”

      “Don’t. Don’t thank you for this.”

      He nods and squeezes your hand. “Let’s go. Before I see myself walk into the house.”

      You walk together until you’re under the shade of trees and then you’re sprinting back into the speed force. Your eyes are closed as soon as you enter it, not wanting to see what changes have happened this time. Not wanting to know if you’re not in any of them.

      “Y/N! Look!” Barry’s sudden exclamation piques your curiosity and you open your eyes.

      You’re surrounded by memories of your existence. A new existence for you both. Barry’s tragic past stayed the same and so did yours. You found yourselves growing up together in the same foster home. Going to the same schools. Same college. Same job. Until you’re both hit with lightning at the same time.

      “This is the new flashpoint?”

      “It’s our new world.”

      Suddenly your memories are blending together into a single memory. A kiss on a highway where you’re both laughing while Barry carries you in his arms.

      “Okay, when do we get off this rollercoaster?” you ask nervously.

      Barry chuckles, “Now would be good.”

✧ Watchtower Masterlist ✧

[anxiouslynumbme]

Carmuel Missing Scenes/Moments

Warning: (Sexual Situations, Strong Language, Drug Use.)

3x06

_______________________________________________________

Samuel had tried to get Carla alone all day, but she was a master at avoiding him. He couldn't let her do it again. So he'd settled on watching her for the rest of the day, hoping that she wasn't desperate enough to use at school.

Carla looked almost robotic and it seemed she was losing more of herself every time Samuel looked at her.

He looked at his bruised hand with a grimace, maybe taking his issues out on a locker wasn't the best idea. Samuel's anger at Valerio hadn't died down, if anything, it festered.

The school day had finally come to an end and he couldn't see Carla anywhere. Samuel didn't how he missed the fact that she had already left, when he'd been watching her like a hawk. Samuel knew she wasn't going to be happy when he suddenly showed up at her door. But she gave him no choice.

Once he'd reached her house, Samuel pushed his nerves to the side. A woman, he recognized as Mirella smiled at him, after opening the door.

"Uh, Hi. Is Carla here?"

He should've called first. But she wouldn't have answered, so Samuel couldn't really feel bad about it.

"Yes. Come in, sir. I'll go get her."

Samuel slowly made his way inside, waiting awkwardly in the foyer and not for the first time, he could see just how different their worlds were. A moment later he heard Carla's angry footsteps stumping down the stairs, Samuel whirled around to see she was still in her uniform, which never failed to cause him to stir. But that was obviously not why he was here.

"Have you lost your mind? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Tell me you didn't take it."

Samuel could see the agitation all over her soft features.

"You are the most frustrating person I've ever met. You're lucky my parents aren't here."

"Carla - "

"Just follow me." she huffed, quickly turning on her heel and walking up the stairs.

While he'd been to Carla's house before, Samuel had never actually seen her bedroom. The second he stepped through the door, his eyes roamed every corner with burning curiosity. It was spotless, which came as no surprise since they had maids. He paced around until he was at her desk, his hand smoothing over the surface. He grinned at a picture of her and Lu when they were younger, Carla's smile looked so genuine.

"Samuel?"

He cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. Sorry."

"What do you want?" she sighed tiredly.

"Did you ta - "

"No, I didn't. I literally just got home."

"Good. Now flush it down the toilet."

"You know I'm not gonna do that."

"Why do you need it?"

Carla simply stared at him, fingers going for her shirt, unbuttoning the first, second, then the third button. His body surged in attention, before his mind snapped into focus and he looked away.

"Your tricks are getting old, Carla."

"Don't flatter yourself. Since you came uninvited, I'm changing out of my uniform anyway. If that makes you uncomfortable, wait outside. Better yet, why don't you leave my house all together?"

"Sure, throw it away and I'm gone."

"You really are insufferable." Carla puffed out a breath, he subtly let his eyes wander over to her, she had changed into a simple white shirt and was sliding her legs through grey cotton shorts. Samuel breathed in relief, he wasn't sure he could've handled it if he had checked and found her naked.

Once she was fully clothed and facing him, Carla crossed her arms. "I'm not getting rid of it, Samuel. So let it go and go home."

"I can't do that. Not when I know what you're about to do."

"Why do you keep doing this?" Carla asked harshly.

She knew why. They both did. It didn't matter that she didn't want to acknowledge it, or that he was too scared to say it again. Samuel couldn't just walk away from her when she was obviously having such a rough time. Such a rough time that she'd resorted to this extreme level of dealing with it. And Samuel'd be damned if he was going to just idly stand by and watch her self-destruct.

He disregarded her question, striding towards her. "Give it to me."

"No."

"Carla, I'm not leaving unless I know you don't have it."

"What is wrong with you?"

"I'm trying - "

"No, seriously," she interjected with a glare, "are you constantly losing brain cells? What I do is none of your business."

Samuel wasn't fazed by her words. He was about to open his mouth when his eyes thoroughly took note of her state. Her body was quivering, her curled fists were visibly trembling as she breathed heavily. Drops of sweat pouring out of her forehead and down her pale face, her sullen eyes were misting over with tears.

A painful stab of worry rocked him as he raised both palms to her face, Carla blenched but didn't move away from his touch. Taking it as a good sign, Samuel moved closer to her, his thumbs soothingly rubbing back and forth across her cheeks.

She had gone too far and his stomach dropped at the realization.

"You need help, Carla."

"No, no. I'm fine. I'm handling it." her wavering voice was proof that she didn't believe her own words. She was starting to shiver all over, Samuel quickly grabbed the first blanket he saw on her bed and threw it over her shoulders, wrapping it tightly around her.

"Thank you."

Samuel tilted her chin up. "You have to stop."

"I know - but I can't," she told him in a low voice.

"Of course you can. You are so strong, I know - "

"No, you don't get it. I...I can't carry on without it."

"What do you mean?"

"I need it. I just have to."

"Why? Why won't you just talk to me?"

"I - I can't, you know that."

"Yes. But I don't know why!"

"Samuel, please. Don't. Not now, I'm so tired and I feel so - " Carla broke off with an evident shudder, swaying in the spot, almost losing her balance. Samuel instantly held her closer.

"Okay, okay," he said, kissing her forehead gently, "I'm sorry."

Samuel felt her body sag against him and his arms tightened around her, lips trailing light kisses down her right cheek. "It's okay. You'll be okay." he kept repeating it to affirm it for both of them.

And then Carla collapsed completely, a loud sob leaving her mouth. Samuel's entire body stilled with her tears, Carla always kept it together, he had never seen her break. A vicious, unsettling emotion cut through him deeply, his gut wrenched with her cries; head pounded with every gasp of pain out of her lips.

"Shh, it'll be alright." Samuel felt so helpless, his arms gripping her to him so firmly, he was scared it was cutting her airflow. But Carla didn't care, her arms grasping onto him just as hard, crying her soul into his chest.

Samuel didn't know when exactly they had fallen down on the bed, or when had tears started streaming down his face. Witnessing Carla's hurt so transparently, rattled him to the core. Only when Carla lifted her head off his chest to look at him, did he notice how the sunlight had dimmed in the room.

"Why are you crying?" her voice was hoarse as she wiped a tear from his cheek.

Because you're in pain, he thought to himself, And I don't know how to help you, I don't know how to make any of this better.

Samuel simply shrugged with a weak smile. She didn't push it, leaning forward to kiss the rest of his tears away, leaving him with shivers running down his spine. Samuel shut his eyes in contentment, tugging her closer to him; his other hand massaging the back of her head.

"You should eat something," he said after a period of serene silence.

"Like what, macaroni?"

His heart fluttered. "I could make you some, I'm sure you have everything I need in your kitchen."

"I was kidding, Samuel. Do you ever eat anything else?"

He paused, pretending to consider it. "Not really, no."

Carla chuckled. "You know, I could make you something."

Samuel looked down at her, waiting for those eyes to gaze back up at him. "Carla Rosòn Caleruga can cook?"

"Of course," she replied, suddenly hoisting herself up and straddling his waist, her haunting eyes piercing his. "I'm a woman of many talents."

"I'm well-aware," his reply came out breathless, "I just don't think cooking is one of them."

Carla giggled, the sound humming through his system. "Fine, you got me. I can't cook for shit, but I'm a very fast learner. Maybe you could teach me, Chef."

Even though Samuel knew he wasn't much better, he nodded with a grin. "I'd be honored."

Carla then bent down achingly slow before finally meeting his lips. The kiss was lazy and deep, his tongue swirling with hers in a consuming tremor that traveled through every inch of his body, striking his lower region.

Samuel knew it was the wrong time and they should definitely stop. Carla had just finished crying in his arms, not to mention she was suffering from withdrawal. And a part of him knew she might be feeling too exposed after showing such vulnerability; she might be deflecting the issue by turning things sexual and not talking about it. But while Samuel knew that they needed to finally talk about everything; that she needed some time and space to recover, he couldn't help but feel they both needed this. They both needed the comfort they found in each other. Even Just for a moment.

The kiss was quickly turning heavy, her fingers making quick work of his buttons. His palms clutched her shirt before slipping under it, his fingers tracing the soft skin of her back as their hips ground together ardently.

"Carla." he groaned into her mouth.

They had to stop. Samuel was reluctantly slowing the progress of their eager embrace, when he heard a muffled ringing under his head. He couldn't register the sound at first, his head fuzzy with everything Carla.

Samuel pulled away slightly, his hand reaching under him and retrieving Carla's phone. He managed to catch the name on the screen before handing it to her.

His jaw ticked. Yeray.

Carla frowned, silencing the phone and throwing it carelessly to the side. She tried to kiss him again but he stopped her.

"You should really eat something," he said quietly.

Carla paused, staring at him. She finally inhaled loudly in resignation and flopped down next to him. It was tense for a few minutes before she rescued them from it.

"Fine. But we're not eating macaroni."

He smiled. "Deal."

_______________________________________________________

The ended up ordering pizza, which they were currently eating in front of the pool. They'd spent the time waiting for it to be delivered, talking seriously and mindlessly, he'd told her that Rebe found out about the deal he'd made with the police, but left out the part where she'd called him out on why he'd started things with her. They also talked about silly shit, that made them both guffaw and relax. And Samuel was just realizing that even though Carla was still fidgeting and a bit antsy, she was looking a little better; and she hadn't brought up the drugs or her need for it.

"My parent will be home soon," she announced, her voice still a bit scratchy, "you'll need to go."

He said nothing in response, merely nodding. Samuel wouldn't get anywhere asking her why and he didn't want to ruin this time with her.

"Wanna go for a swim?" Carla asked abruptly.

"A swim?" he repeated stupidly.

"Yep." she grinned. "Come on!"

And then she was taking her clothes off. Samuel swallowed, exhaling a sharp breath; watching as she peeled off her shirt and shorts before diving in, water spattering around her. Samuel's hesitation lasted about a second. Because seeing Carla smiling, her eyes beckoning him to join her in the joy she was having - no matter how temporary - made his decision fairly easy.

He stood up, shedding his clothes, and quickly jumping in after her with only his boxers on. Carla let out a cheerful laugh at the splash he caused. They both immediately swam to each other, their laughter dying down as they gazed upon one another. And when she leaned in to kiss him, he softly spoke.

"I don't want to taint us."

Carla blanched in surprise. "What?"

"I - I shouldn't have kissed you the other night. But more importantly, I shouldn't have gotten with Rebe in the first place, knowing how I feel about you. And now I have to live with the fact that I hurt her.

"And even if I don't care about Yeray or his feelings. I know what that's like. We shouldn't do that to him."

Her gaze left him with a scoff. "Trust me, what I have with Yeray is not like that."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just different."

Samuel narrowed his eyes. "Do you even like him?"

"I do, I just - "

"Don't lie. Why are you with him?"

"Because...he's fun."

He snorted at the feeble excuse. "Fun? That's the only reason?"

"Yes. That's enough for me."

"Is it?" he was irritated with her statement

"Yeah, we're both young and we're just having fun. What else is there?"

If Samuel didn't know any better, he would've thought she was intentionally provoking him. What else is there?

Love. Passion. Us. What we have, what we feel for each other, his mind was almost screaming at her.

"Well, whatever it is, you have to end it. I mean, if you want this - us."

Carla was quiet for a moment, peering at him in a way that made his insides churn.

"You're the best person I know," she whispered.

Samuel's eyes lowered shyly, his heart skipping a beat at her praise. But he was just being decent, nothing more. Guilt still twisted his stomach, knowing the questionable things he'd done. Especially recently.

"No, I'm not, I'm - "

"Yes, you are," she said resolutely, "now please believe that Yeray and I are not what you think we are. Not to me, at least."

Samuel didn't get a chance to prompt her further as she nudged him forward and he didn't resist. Because Samuel was only human and the girl he was in love with was half naked and wet. He licked his lips and Carla smirked at the action, grazing his mouth teasingly.

Returning her soft kiss, Samuel felt their hands interlock- his fingers slotting through hers and he winced slightly from his still sore fist.

Carla glanced down in concern at his rapidly swelling knuckle, it was getting redder by the minute. "What happened?"

"I might have punched a locker," he said sheepishly.

"Why?"

"Well, it was either the locker or Valerio."

Carla tutted with a sigh. "Samuel, why would you do that? It's not his fault."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not, it was my decision. He only did what I asked."

"And if he hadn't, you would've never had the opportunity in the first place." Carla's eyes left his shamefully, it was the same look she had when she'd walked out of the bathroom this morning.

The truth was that it was on Samuel too. He'd provided the place for Valerio and Rebe to push drugs. The guilt prevented him from telling Carla that they'd used his house and it was eating him inside, even if he knew she might be understanding. But as he stared at her, she still looked drained and Samuel was too damn afraid to break the peaceful spell that'd been cast on them.

"Regardless, I can deal with my own shit," she said stubbornly, "and you definitely shouldn't go around punching lockers."

Samuel's lips quirked in amusement. "Sorry."

"You should be. I like your hands."

"Yeah?"

"Hmm," she said, playing with his fingers, "they're very nice and. . .skillful."

His heart jumped at the insinuation and he let out a low chuckle. "Really? That's nice to hear."

Carla's reaction was to slowly bring his bruised knuckle to her lips, peppering soft kisses across it. Samuel's eyes found hers intensely as she darted her tongue out and licked up the back of his index finger; till she finally took it in her mouth and sucked.

His body heat rose to an alarming level of arousal. Samuel closed his eyes, chest heaving, the sensations that burst over him, causing him to twitch in his underwear.

"Fuck," he breathed out, before his free hand took charge and ran itself through her hair, tugging on it gently so she would release his finger.

Samuel's lips pressed against hers with fervor need and Carla responded in kind, her tongue keeping up with the urgent movement of his.

And because every fiber of his being was chanting it. Samuel's mouth drew back, staying close, lips brushing hers. The words crawling incessantly under his skin until he couldn't stop them from being whispered against her.

"I love you."

Carla went rigid in his arms. And he mentally cursed himself, but he didn't regret saying it. What did she expect? Samuel couldn't keep it in any longer.

Carla pulled away stiffly. "Stop saying that."

"Why? It's the truth."

She rubbed her temples in distress. "No, it's not. You don't even know me."

Samuel gaped at her, how the fuck could she say that? Not only did she say he didn't know her, but she kept refusing to believe his feelings. And here Samuel thought the worst thing would've been her not saying it back.

"You're not actually serious, are you? I know you, Carla. In fact, I'm pretty sure I know you better than anyone."

And although his heart was in his throat with nerves, Samuel needed to say it again. To kill any doubts she had on the matter. "I'm in love with you."

Seeing her flinch from his words, physically hurt him. Samuel could feel the searing pain of her rejection, as she closed yet another door on him. She wasn't looking at him, and he didn't know if he should be thanking her for sparing him the mortification of having to look her in the eyes as she shut him down; or yell at her for crushing his heart without even looking as she did it. The strained silence was starting to choke him, Samuel weakly started to move; wanting to make his way out of the water - which now felt like it was scalding him.

"No, no, no," Carla said, grabbing his wrists, "don't leave like this, please."

"I should go." his voice was embarrassingly small.

"Samuel, you don't understand, I - " she looked almost frantic.

"It's all right, Carla." he tried to free himself from her clasp.

"No, no, it's not."

Samuel could see the agony on her face, and his resolve gave in, needing to comfort her. "It's okay."

"Fuck, stop saying that!"

Her exasperated tone shut him up momentarily as he waited for her to say something.

"It's not so easy for me to say it."

That should've hurt, but instead Samuel felt flickering hope flaring up inside him. That meant she felt it. She felt something for him, she just couldn't express it. And how pathetic was it, that it was enough for him to know that.

"Hey," Carla continued, her eyes pinning him to the spot, "let's make it a little quieter."

"What?"

"Let's quiet things down." Carla took a long deep breath and then she began to sink down; until he could only see her silhouette. Samuel's instincts took over, following her lead.

She was a vision under water, her hair floating around her, eyes as captivating as ever. Samuel swam towards her, both of them staring and unmoving.

A second later, their eyes closed and their foreheads touched. Samuel could sense the inescapable calm slowing down his hammering heart. They stayed down as long as they could, but oxygen became a necessity.

They resurfaced, their foreheads still connected, both gasping for air. They rested in the same position for a long time, trying to delay the inevitable end.

"It's getting late. You have to go," she said.

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

Samuel pushed away from her, their eyes glued to one another as he tried to steadily get out of the pool.

He reached for his clothes, not caring that he was going to wear them while still wet. After Samuel was done, he looked back at the girl still in the pool one more time, her back to him. And he could feel the dark clouds emerging again over them as he hastily made his way out of her house.

_______________________________________________________

Samuel couldn't get past the fact that he was standing in Yeray's house. Carla's, too, if what he'd heard was true. Yeray bought her a fucking house.

Why was he here again?

The second Samuel'd arrived, he regretted it, but Guzman seemed more down than usual after Nadia and Samuel felt bad for the way he'd been treating him, so he stayed.

But Samuel also couldn't keep up a conversation with him, because his eyes seemed determined to find Carla. This was her party and she was no where to be found. A little later he was sauntering around the enormous mansion and he finally spotted her talking to Valerio.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," he muttered angrily to himself, marching towards them. By the time he reached them, Valerio was walking away and Carla looked frustrated. She also looked fucking breathtaking, but that was beside the point.

"Hello."

Carla's head whipped in his direction, raising her eyebrows. "Samuel, you came."

"You did send an invitation."

"Yeah, I just didn't think you'd come."

"I wasn't going to."

"Okay, well," she said with a rehearsed smile, "make yourself at home. Have fun!"

"Why were you talking to Valerio?"

She didn't care enough to pretend anymore. "Relax, Samuel. I don't have anything."

Samuel did relax but he didn't like seeing her so restless.

"It'll get better," he said softly, wishing he could help her, "it'll get easier to resist, you won't always feel like this. You should go see someone and - "

Carla scoffed loudly. "Right. What do you know?"

"More than you, clearly," he retorted a little harshly. She was back to being cold, and it put him on edge. He was fucking sick of it.

Carla shook her head with a chuckle. "Correction, you think you know better."

"In this case, I do. Because right now, you actually think that drugs are gonna make your problems go away. It doesn't work like that and you know it."

"No." she sighed, looking away from him. "it doesn't make anything disappear. But it sure does make life a lot easier and way more fun."

"For a short amount of time and then you're left with the consequences."

"I'm okay with that," she said with indifference, "anyway, I have guests to entertain. Enjoy the party, Samuel."

He opened his mouth to to stop her from leaving, but nothing came out. Suddenly feeling watched, Samuel glanced around and saw Rebe glaring in his direction.

Seriously, why that fuck was he here? He should've stayed home.

As if on cue, Guzman stepped next go him. "Now you're the one in need of a drink."

"I always need a drink," Samuel replied, staring at Carla across the room, "right now, I need twenty."

"Well, Samu," Guzman said, throwing an arm over his shoulder, "I'm sure that can be arranged."

They were five drinks in, and Samuel still couldn't glance away from Carla as she walked around the party, trying to look like she didn't need her next fix like she needed her next breath.

"What's going on with Carla?" Guzman asked from beside him, his tone a bit concerned.

Samuel didn't know if he should tell him. Carla wouldn't like it, even if she pretended not to care what people think. It was private, she just needed to get help and she would be fine. The only reason he'd told Polo; because even if he wasn't the main reason Carla was using currently - the asshole deserved to be reminded of the weight of the pain he had inflicted.

"She's just been having a really tough time."

"Why? She's got a rich boyfriend. She's somehow gotten away with covering up a murder, seems like she doesn't - "

"Don't," Samuel bit out in warning, "you don't know her as well as you think you do."

"All right, sorry." Guzman was taken aback by his tone, showing both palms in surrender. "Listen, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for what she'd done. But you're right, Carla and I haven't been close in a long time. She's definitely - changed."

Samuel's curiosity piqued, his mind racing to ask about Carla before he had gotten to know her. "What was she like?"

"I mean, she hasn't changed that much. She's always been wild, down for whatever. Smart, she recognized what she had and was always quick to take advantage of it. Since she was my sister's first friend, she was mine too."

Guzman let out a small laugh. "I used to have a crush on her."

"What, really?"

"A very small and brief one, years ago, yeah. To be fair, everybody had a crush on Carla."

Of course. Samuel didn't doubt it for a second. She was magnetic.

"We used to talk all the time." Guzman smiled in remembrance. "She helped me with girls, she actually helped me with Lu."

Samuel grinned, wondering what it would've been like if he had actually known her back then.

As though she knew they were talking about her, Carla's laughter rang through the air, making both Samuel and Guzman look toward the noise. She was dancing with Yeray, her back pressed against his chest. Samuel's heart pinched painfully and it must have shown on his face, because Guzman put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You really love her, don't you?"

Maybe it was the alcohol but Samuel felt no need to hide it. "Yes."

"Come on," Guzman said, standing up and motioning for him to follow, "let's get the rest of those twenty drinks in you."

And it didn't stop at twenty, he'd lost count at some point. Samuel had no idea how he actually managed to get home. The last thing he remembered was Carla dancing with Yeray and then his face was smashed into his pillow.

_______________________________________________________

Samuel wanted to rip his eyes out. This was probably the worst hangover in the history of his short life, and he was expected to sit through classes.

In the middle of his conversation with Guzman, he'd heard the commotion outside. Samuel couldn't really make out what was happening, but he saw Rebe in the middle of Polo and Valerio and instantly sprang to his feet.

"Why the hell are you defending him? He's the reason for what happened last night!" Polo yelled from the floor after Samuel had hit him a couple of times.

"I'm not defending him and what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Carla's in the hospital because of him! The bastard gave her drugs. Again!"

But Samuel didn't hear anything after Carla and hospital. His breath left him in a gust of panic. He froze in terror, heart pounding in his ears.

"What?"

"She overdosed and almost died drowning."

Stop. Stop talking, please. Samuel was going to pass out.

"Tell me." Samuel managed to grit out the demand through the crippling fear that had swept over his body, and Polo understood what he wanted to know.

"They said she's stable, but we can't see her right now."

And then Samuel's panic turned into blind rage as he lunged at Valerio.

"I told you to stay away from her!"

"Samu, stop! Please!" Rebe was pleading loudly. "Samuel! Stop, stop. It was me!"

He faltered mid-hit.

"What?" Samuel didn't recognize his own voice. It was eerily calm.

"I, I did it," Rebe stuttered, "I sold Carla the drugs last night. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" he could feel his entire body shaking.

"I - I was upset and I didn't know she would take all of it, that she'd actually over - "

"You didn't know!" Samuel snarled and she winced. "So it would've been okay to give it to her if she hadn't overdosed!"

"No, I - "

The principal's door opened, stopping Rebe in her tracks. Azucena looked down at the floor and they all followed her gaze. It seemed during the fight, Rebe had dropped a bag of drugs.

"What is this?" Azucena asked, looking at all of them.

Samuel didn't have time for this, he started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Azucena asked, "I need to talk to everyone immediately!"

"You can expel me later," he replied, his feet speeding up.

"I have to go with him. Our friend, Carla . . ." Samuel could vaguely hear Guzman's voice from behind him as he sprinted outside.

________________________________________________________

Carla's father was staring at him and Samuel was staring right back. He was batshit crazy, if he actually thought that Samuel was going to leave. He'd been sitting in the hospital for the past hour. Guzman and Lu next to him. Yeray and Teodoro siting across from them, while Carla's mother was inside with her, having been the only one allowed to.

After a nurse came out and assured them again that Carla was doing much better and they could see her soon, Samuel felt like he could get up to get some water. He found Yeray standing in front of the vending machine and Samuel almost walked back to his seat, but he knew he needed to hydrate.

Samuel was taking a large gulp of water, when he noticed Yeray still standing behind him. "You want something?"

"I didn't know." it almost sounded like Yeray was talking to himself.

"Sorry?" Samuel asked, even though he really didn't want to speak with him.

"I thought she liked me, I didn't know he was forcing her to be with me."

And for the second time that day, Samuel's heart stopped.

"What did you just say?"

But Yeray was unable to answer, his lips trembling and he looked like he was about to cry. But Samuel didn't give a fuck how Yeray was feeling as he took a threatening step forward. "What did you mean?

And despite the fact that Samuel was already somewhat connecting the dots, he wasn't prepared for what came out of Yeray's mouth next.

Samuel was moving for Teodoro before Yeray was even finished talking, his veins lighting up with undeniable fury.

"You fucking asshole!" Samuel's bellow traveled through the hall, as everyone turned to look at him. Teodoro was standing, looking at his phone and when his gaze darted to him, Samuel could see the confusion in them.

"Your own daughter! What the fuck is wrong with you?" without hesitation, Samuel’s fist bashed him hard. And he could finally see realization dawning in Teodoro's eyes as he staggered back. Guzman and Lu were on Samuel in seconds, both trying to hold him back.

"Samu! What are you doing?" Guzman asked.

"Are you out of your mind?" Lu added incredulously.

Venom replaced the brief hint of remorse in Teodoro's eyes as he advanced on Samuel.

"I will end you, you dumb shit!" Teodoro promised, grabbing Samuel out of Guzman's grasp by the collar, before punching him and pushing him up against the wall. "You just signed your death warrant!"

Samuel growled, shoving him back with all his might. "You don't scare me, you disgusting, no good - "

"Hey, hey, break it up!"

Security had gathered around them and started pulling them apart. Actually, they were hauling Samuel away, as they checked on Teodoro.

"Are you okay, sir?" a security guard asked.

"Yes," Teodoro hissed, "throw him out."

"You don't have the right to do that!" Samuel shouted as another guard dragged him away.

"Stop. Don't make this worse for yourself, kid," the guard told Samuel almost kindly as he guided him outside.

"What the fuck was that, Samu?"

Samuel looked up to see that Guzman had followed him out, he was staring at him in complete bewilderment.

"He's a sick of piece of shit!"

"I know that but - "

"He forced Carla to be with Yeray as a part of a fucking contract for his wineries!"

"Holy shit..." Guzman stepped back in shock, his eyes wide.

Dizziness began to hit Samuel at an accelerating rate, this hell of a day was catching up to him all at once. He put a hand on the wall beside him, his head spinning.

"Samu? You okay?"

"All right." Lu had joined them, but Samuel could barely hear her. "I don't know if that was sheer insanity or - wait, what's wrong with him? He looks like he's gonna faint."

And then Samuel was hurling all of his stomach's content onto the ground.

Guzman was behind him, placing a hesitant hand on his back. Samuel kept coughing out everything inside him for a good five minutes. Maybe it was less, but it definitely felt like five.

The painful retching finally came to an end, Samuel slumped against the wall, utterly worn-out.

"Well, that was gross," Lu said, "but I'm sure it only helped. So, is one of you gonna explain what was that back there?"

"I'll tell you later," Guzman said.

"What, why? Just tell me."

"Later, Lu," Guzman insisted, "Samu, you need to go home and get some rest, man."

He couldn't, he had to see her. His anxiety was running high, winding him up so tight, he though he might throw up again.

"I have to see her," he said, his voice gravelly.

"You can forget about that now, genius," Lu said.

"He can't keep me out forever, he doesn't own the hosp - "

"No, he doesn't," Lu interrupted, "but he's still a very powerful, feared man, and you just royally pissed him off."

"I don't give a shit."

"Clearly." she rolled her eyes. "Guzman is right, even if there's a chance you get to see her, it's not now. Go home."

Samuel didn't care about their logic, his emotions were too strung and there was no way in hell he was leaving.

He wasn't there for her, that was all Samuel could think about. He hadn't been there when it all went down, he was too busy drowning his sorrow in alcohol. Guilt and regret clutched his heart.

"I'm staying," Samuel said with finality, moving away from the vomit at his feet to the next nearest wall and letting his body slide against it till he was seated on the ground.

"Okay," Guzman said, sitting down next to him.

"You don't have to."

"She's still my friend, Samu. I want to."

"All right, I'm going back inside," Lu said, turning around, "I'll keep you updated."

"Hi," a voice said a while later.

Samuel glanced up at Rebe, and quickly turned away. He had no idea how she wasn’t at school with Azucena, and he didn’t care to ask. He was still furious. She'd told him she was done, she'd promised. Carla almost died because of the drugs she’d provided.

"What are you guys doing out here? Why aren't you inside?"

When Samuel didn't answer, Guzman supplied, "It's a long story,"

"Uh, okay. Are visitors allowed yet?"

"No, not yet," Guzman told her.

"Leave, Rebeca," Samuel gritted.

"Samu - "

"Leave."

She took a deep breath. "No, I understand that you're mad, but I'm not gonna go."

Samuel wanted to say something back, but he was beyond exhausted. And as long as she didn't talk to him, he could ignore her presence. Samuel was a bit confused when instead of going inside, Rebe chose to sit down next him, she still made sure it was a few inches away. And so the three of them sat there, waiting.

Samuel shut his his eyes, his mind conjuring up images of Carla; smiling, talking, kissing him. And he could feel them trying desperately to ease the overwhelming dread and panic that had erupted within him.

[breadoffoxy]

Changing Tides | 5

Summary: At a young age you thought you had your life all figured out. You would marry your crush and become a world renown artist. It was perfect. That is until a childhood friend, your clumsy cousin, an intimidating rival, a nosy neighbor, an art prodigy, a beautiful dancer and a perfectionist workaholic destroyed those plans for better or for worse.

Pairing: some f. reader x Hoseok, f. reader x Jungkook, and f. reader x Jimin

Genre: Slice of Life, awkward teenage years to college au, eventual romance, angst, fluff

Word Count: 1,300

Warnings: None

Prev | Next

Ok, one…two…three!”

A click and a large flash blinds you. Oh god you hope you didn’t blink just now.

“I think we need just one more just in case!”

“Mom I think we’re good!” Namjoon hollers across to his mom only a slight distance away. The auditorium is packed with other families celebrating the end of the graduation ceremony, making it unnecessarily hot and loud. As soon as Namjoon’s arm drops from your shoulder a group scurries between you and Namjoon’s mom.

“Are you sure?” She frowns down at her camera trying to examine the tiny preview screen.

“We’re sure.” Namjoon and you say exasperatedly. You’ve been taking photos for what feels like forever. Namjoon guides his mom through the crowded space and you follow behind. It’s slow going as many people stop your group to congratulate Namjoon on his valedictorian speech and your aunt has to take more pictures of Namjoon with every friend he comes across. You find the whole thing incredibly boring minus listening to Namjoon’s speech and seeing Hoseok walk across the stage.

Thinking of Hoseok, you turn your head as if directed by a radar and you see the popular boy at the snack bar set up in the back. He’s casually leaning on the end of it talking to a pretty girl. She makes the graduation gowns look amazing which is quite the achievement. Laughing, he pats the girl’s shoulder and slides it down her arm slightly to give it a gentle squeeze. You can see her giggle and playfully flirt back.

Disappointment hits you but your eyes quickly regain their fire as you lean close to your aunt so she can hear you above the crowd. “Hey look there’s Hobi. You haven’t taken any pictures with him and Joon have you Auntie?” You point over her shoulder to help guide her gaze towards your crush.

“Oh, you’re right. Hoseok!” Hoseok looks over towards your group as your aunt calls over to him and tries weave through the crowd to get to him. He lifts up his hand to wave before turning back to the pretty girl. He smiles at the girl and says something before she walks off with a cute little wave. Hoseok turns back towards your aunt and opens his arms for a hug, which she gladly gives. During all of this, Namjoon gives you a pointed look that you shrug at while inside you are cheering for your small victory. Grabbing his long graduation sleeves, you drag him to the snack table.

Before you could make any greetings of your own, your aunt tugs you, and thus her son as well, towards Hoseok. Your sandwiched between Hoseok and Namjoon before your aunt steps back a few steps and gets her camera ready. Both you and Namjoon are massaging your cheeks so you can both avoid making an awkward smile. Smiling for so long really hurts.

An arm reaches across your back to prod at your cousin’s dimples. “I bet these get their work cut out for them today.”

Again, you and Namjoon both sigh, “You have no idea.”

Hoseok grins even wider as his hand leaves Namjoon’s face to come to rest on his shoulder. It causes the three of you to squish together a little more. Namjoon wraps one of his arms behind you towards Hoseok as well. Quickly, you have to move your arms to wrap around each of the young men next to you so your limbs don’t awkwardly get stuck to your sides.

“This is only the beginning. We are going to become bigshots guys. Namjoon, we’ll need our press faces, our red-carpet faces, our grammy faces, our-“

“I got the idea Hobi.” Namjoon grins over you at his best friend. His hand pats the dancer’s shoulder. “Our dream’s just beginning.”

“Yep, and you,” Hoseok’s hip bumps into yours lightly as the camera flashes brightly a couple of times, “need your art gallery face. Everyone’s going to want to talk to you when they see your work.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Hey, none of that now.” Namjoon gives you a disapproving look. His arm drops from around Hoseok’s shoulder as his mom finally lowers the camera.

Hoseok’s arm slides across Namjoon’s back to land on your shoulder. He gives you a light pinch which you frown at. “Yeah, you have to stop being so hard on yourself. Your art’s great and everyone knows it.”

“It’s past time you knew it too.” Namjoon pokes your forehead and you glare at him. It’s slightly dulled due to the fact you are pressed up against the sun incarnate. “Now it’s our graduation and I say it’s time for cake.”

Namjoon turns around and tries to find the plates of the snack bar behind him only to slam his elbow into part of said graduation cake.

“Oh Joonie.” His mom quickly steps in and helps clean up the mess on her son’s elbow and save the cake despite his protests. The students around the table give the scene knowing looks as it is nothing new to them, while the parents are in slight disbelief that the eloquent, high leveled student could do something so clumsy. You and Hoseok are just a laughing mess and embarrassing Namjoon even further.

After your aunt asks for you to look for more napkins, Hoseok grabs your hand and leads you toward where he last saw them. Your face grows warm as you look at his familiar back as he pulls you along. You’re always following him wherever he goes, fascinated by him and what he has to show the world. It hits you then that in the next month or so he’ll be moving. You just want to be part of his world and he was leaving you behind.

When you make it to the end of the table, Hoseok is loosening his hold on your hand as he finds the napkins with a victorious cheer. The feeling of his warmth leaving makes you scared. You don’t want to let go yet. Your fingers catch his before they fall away completely. His gaze leaves the napkins to look back at you inquisitively.

Despite your legs feeling like jelly, you bolster your courage to look him in the eye. “Can I keep holding your hand?”

His fingers immediately lace between yours and he gives a squeeze. “All you have to do is ask kiddo.”

The nickname makes you pout and look away. Another squeeze to your hand has you looking back at him.

“There’s something else isn’t there. C’mon you can tell me.”

“You won’t forget about me when your gone will you?” You sigh.

Hoseok gasps dramatically. “Me, forget you? Never!” he pulls your clasped hands toward him suddenly making you stumble towards him. He wraps his other arm around you in a hug. Your brain is fried at this moment and you almost miss what Hoseok says next.

“Me and Joon will visit tons. Uni isn’t that far away, and we can even take the train. Sure, we’ll be busy but we’ll come by when we can. Plus, in a couple years you’ll be joining us, right.” The last part isn’t a question at all. He knows you were working hard to get into the same school as your cousin that’s prestigious for its art program.

The anxiety of separation ebbs away mostly, a tiny bit sitting just under the surface. You smile now, grateful to Hoseok as he drops his arm from around your shoulders but not the one laced with your hand.

His gaze falls back behind you and he grimaces. “Ok, we really better get back with those napkins now.”

You really don’t want to turn around and see the mess your cousin has become.

[tiny-tinkerer]

Clickspring’s Log: Meeting Celio

I haven’t decided the exact order in which JunkTown events occur for Clickspring, but as the pieces fall together I’ve been writing little excerpts to capture the scenes. I do love first encounters, so the following scene is a bit indulgent. Enjoy the read! 

Coming back around from the aching grog of my forced slumber, I sit up slowly and press warm palms onto my throbbing forehead. I keep my eyes pinched shut, not yet prepared to greet the light again. Even with eyes closed it is immediately apparent that my surroundings are very different. I am quite used to the coarseness of fabrics woven for humans. It isn't exactly easy to find something with a high enough thread count to feel soft when you're less than 5 inches tall. The fabric laying across my lap is an entirely new level of coarse, however. Strong woven and thick like an airship sail, with threads nearly as big around as my thumb.

"What in the hell-"

I halt the words in my throat and finally pop my eyes open as I feel vibrations in the ground. My instincts scream danger, but the quaking ceases, and then recedes into the far distance again. Definitely not at home in the Inn, that's for certain. It is also immediately clear that running away is out of the question.

This new, foreign place seems to stretch on for tens of meters. It'd take me half an hour to situate myself in the nearest cover. Not to mention that everything around soars leagues over my head in height. I can't even see the end of the massive mattress I'm essentially trapped on. But the dresser in my field of vision is far above me. A bed just plopped down on the floor? Seems like a borrower sort of choice; you end up taking a few shortcuts when you have to make your own furniture. I feel my waist to find my utility belt and all my tools missing. The chance of escape is nill without at least thread and a fishhook to  grapple, so the only logical choice is to let the situation play out.

I remember bits and pieces of the events that brought me here as I stew over the situation. I recall a group of scavengers, being squeezed tight in a human's hand, having my gear ripped away, and then forcefully being shoved into a padded metal jar. There were harassing voices above poking fun at my position, and then suddenly the whole world was draped in shadow.

I'd never seen a junk giant up so close, not outside the safety of my repair room where I was under constant protection and surveillance. I was vulnerable, and from what I could see with my restricted viewing, this one’s shadowy figure loomed far above the head of my captor. A voice rang out too loud to comprehend, but there was anger to it’s tone. I forced myself into the bottom of the surrounding padding and held my head tight in my arms, fearing that if the behemoth continued to speak, my eardrums might actually burst. There was a crash, and the jar went flying. The ground came hard and fast as I was painfully rattled about and flung from my unsealed prison. I recall feeling the dirt grind away the skin on my cheek and arm as I slid across the ground. The back of my head met with something hard, and the world went black.

Legends say a junk giant can swallow you whole without even knowing they've done it. A borrower is a bug they could smash to pulp with one finger. Bugs they enjoy toying with and slowly killing for some sick, fetish-like pleasure. Gods I hope that isn't true.I pinch my eyes shut. My blood runs fast and my heart pounds in my throat as the rhythmic quaking makes its return. My whole body quivers.

Metal slides against metal as the great door across the room is slowly freed from it's latch. I brace my arm against my side and hang onto the sail cloth below me for dear life as the world shakes out of control. I'm too terrified to open my eyes. The quaking halts for a moment, I can hear the sounds of air being drawn in and out of cavernous lungs, and the tension of massive cables of muscle straining to hold up the behemoth as it leans over and sets something down on the end of the bed. A brief moment of silence, and then comes the greatest shaking I've ever felt as the monster lowers it's whole massive weight to the floor. In the chaotic movement I'm flung back on my side, and I curl into a tight fetal position to protect my head.

"Oh! Sorry!"

The whisper, deep and still horrifically thunderous, hits my chest like a punch. I open my eyes wide with fear and unfurl my body. Turning over to gaze up equally in fear and confusion.

"S-sorry?" My voice blurts out, dumbfounded.

Above me looms the giant from before. Wide as a truck bed, probably as tall as a warehouse. He seems less terrifying now. His face is youthful and rounded, framed by a mop of brunette hair in disheveled bangs, a rhomboidal red birthmark splashed across his nose, from which hangs a bull ring I could probably sit on. He lifts a hand and waves awkwardly, in a way that would be halfway cute if his fingers weren't wider than my torso.

"What did you say, little buddy? I-uh," he swallows anxiously and scratches at the back of his head. A few flakes of dandruff as big as my hand flutter down to the mattress. "I-can't really hear you. I'm so sorry." His face becomes even redder than his birthmark as he blushes embarrassedly.

I immediately sure up at his apparently soft demeanor. I lift myself back to sitting. He's young, naíve. Maybe I can make this go my way with a little bit of gusto.

"That's Clickspring to you, bub," I point at him with some falsely inflated attitude. "Where the heck am I, I want some ans-"

"Hang on, hang on," the behemoth stifles a giggle. "I can’t even tell what you’re saying. Gosh your little voice is adorable,"

My complexion broke at his words and I could feel my face heat up, angry tears well up in my eyes as I shoot him a venomous glare.

"Ack- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to offend you! Let me get down more so I can actually hear you. I am so, so sorry."

He continues to apologize as he lowers himself even further. It is a much more controlled movement this time, but even without the massive earthquakes his body can cause, his voice still hits like a physical blow. His massive, resonating vocal chords make even the lowest whisper rumble through the air like thunder.

I soon find myself looking into intelligent violet eyes vastly larger than my whole head as the giant lays down before me and thrusts the lower part of his face into the mattress. The warping of the surface almost tosses me forward toward him, but by some miracle I am able to hold on and stay still.

"I'm really sorry," he says again, the muffling of his voice by the mattress makes him much easier to listen to. "I really didn't mean any harm, I swear. I even brought some things to help those wounds." He brought a hand uncomfortably close to gesture, but was careful not to touch me.

I suddenly recalled the bad road burns on my head and arm, beginning to throb again now that my adrenaline rush was calming. I jumped as the man's eyes suddenly pinched shut for a moment.

"Crap, I didn't even tell you my name. Gianni would kill me for being so rude," His violet irises returned and locked on to me. "My name is Celio. Celio Featherson. What's yours?"

I couldn't help but stare blankly, taken aback by the irrational averageness of the situation. I can feel my body still shaking from weakness, anger, and embarrassment. As much as I want to, I can't quite summon up my voice and attitude. Here I sit mere feet away from a creature so  vastly different in scale to me that  he could quite literally obliterate me with a sneeze. Awkward moments stretch out between us. Celio patiently waits, but doesn’t turn his expectant periwinkle eyes away. I find myself beginning to be overtaken by panic.

"Hey, hey, it's alright, don't force yourself," He picks up his head from the mattress and shows me a soft, encouraging smile. "Let's get you all fixed up first. I'll just call you Sorellina in the meantime. That’s uh, ‘little sister’ in my native tongue. Sound like an okay arrangement? ...I'm still so sorry for what I said earlier, I didn't mean to break your confidence like that, that was an awful, jerky move on my part."

I nod, half assured. Suddenly those huge purple eyes widen even bigger. I narrow my own, confused.

"Shit, your ears are bleeding! H-hang on!"

With muscular arms he launches himself back to standing and rushes away with familiar quaking steps. I was accustomed to light auditory trauma, and my body was already in such pain, I hadn't even noticed the sudden perforation of my eardrums. What was one more thing?

“Damn it all, am I really that loud? Crap, what if she can’t hear at all anymore? What the heck do I do? What the hell do you even say when something like this happens? ‘Sorry I literally destroyed your ears?’ Damn it...” Celio mutters from an adjacent room. I hear glass jars clinking about as he searches for something. Guess I’m not quite deafened yet.

I breathe deep and submit to the ache for a few meditative moments. Usually I have to handle these kinds of things all by myself. Strange as this day was going, it was kind of nice to have some compassionate company for once. Celio obviously cared - it wasn’t his fault that he could only be so careful with his big body. Rough handling was kind of normal in the business of robot repair, so this wasn’t anything too new. Not that the robots at the inn meant to be cold or uncaring, they just weren't programmed for contact and companionship. People hated me for being small. It was infuriating and unfair, so I made a point not to hold the consequences of size against anyone.

Celio's quaking footsteps returned, and I finally got a quick look at his full body. He had a proportionally short, sturdy form that was highly muscled. His clothing, minimal: his shirt leaving his entire arms, shoulders, and the sides of his torso exposed. His pants were cut just below the knees, and he wore no embellishments whatsoever. Not even shoes to protect his feet. I brace myself as he crashes into a kneel. He sets a bundle of loose cotton fiber in front of me. I look at it confusedly for a moment. Then back up at him. He gestures at the soft bundle and then pantomimes a compressing motion with his fingers. He then swishes his bangs aside and makes a gesture toward one ear. Earplugs. Got it. Apparently we’re done with talking for now.

I follow his pantomimed instructions. By the time I finish, I smell the astringent sharpness of surgical spirits, and look up. I expect to be handed a swab to clean my wounds, but instead find a massive hand approaching with soaked cotton. I automatically begin to backpedal, but almost immediately find myself braced in place by another massive hand. I struggle against his hand with all my strength. I can clean my own damn wounds, dammit!

"Stop that. You can’t hold me back and I don’t want to hurt you. C’mon, this isn’t so bad, just take it easy." Back to whispering again.

The earplugs helped lessen the blow of his voice considerably, and they held off the bleeding. My struggling is brought to an abrupt end by a swift brushing of Celio’s thumb that pins my uninjured arm and body down effortlessly. I flinch and close my eyes as the cold medical alcohol comes into contact with my arm and dabs the burn repeatedly. It stings horribly.

"I know, I know, this stuff sucks. But you’re not a junk giant, you’ll get an infection if we don’t clean these. Can’t you little guys die that way? I will not let that happen. Keep your eyes closed, I'm doing the burn on your face now."

When the alcohol drenched swab and Celio's hands retreat, I relax, thinking the torture is done. Celio rifles around things on a tray he'd set on the end of the bed when he first came. A jar of herbal smelling salve is unscrewed, and suddenly I find myself caught by the giant once more. I struggle against his unyielding massive strength again to no avail. Instead of allowing my stubborn fight to continue, the junk giant scoops me up in his palm and effortlessly wraps his fingers around my entire body in an imprisoning arrangement.

"That's enough of that! It’s just one more tiny thing. Geez, I'm not hurting you." I can feel the quake of a soft laugh echo through his hand. Then a clearing of his throat as he recoiled. “Not that it’s funny or anything. You need this, just work with me for a minute. I don’t want to do this any more than you do.”

Celio opens his hand for but a moment and carefully snatches my injured arm, holding it up straight as he curls his fingers back up, supporting my comparatively miniscule limb between his middle and ring finger. I decide not to struggle, being squished against his unbearably warm palm is enough of a punishment.

The junk giant is shockingly gentle with his treatment. His hands might be huge, but they're as deft as a surgeon's. He barely applies any pressure to my body as he slathers my wounds with the minty, cooling salve. It frightens me to allow it, but he even manages to gently apply some to my cheek, opening his palm and lifting my head with an imprisoning thumb. Despite my discomfort I almost laugh at his intensely focused expression: face crinkled tight, one eye closed, and mouth  slanted tightly to one side. He finishes the job more quickly than expected, though leaves a massively thick layer of ointment on my wounds because of his vast size. I don't protest. Finally, his palm opens, and I scramble back to seated, taking in some cool air after being trapped next to his stiflingly warm skin.

"There. See, that wasn’t so bad, was it? That ointment should help the pain and fend off infection. We should let those wounds breathe a bit before we bandage them up. How about a cup of tea while we wait? I’m sure my brother has some snacks I could get into if you’re hungry: how about it?"

My blood is still boiling a bit from the last experience. Good intentions or not, being handled without permission is embarrassing. I hate not being given a choice, I allowed it, but now I need answers. I give him a stern glare from my position in his palm, and as loudly as I can manage, I give an order.

“Put me down. Now,” I say resolutely.

I am dizzied by a sudden move closer to his face. I crouch and try to maintain my balance, flinching away from his hot breath as I’m drawn to his level. The collective circumstances are dizzying, and I want to be down on solid ground more than ever.

“I-I’m sorry? Can you repeat that Sorrelina?”

Frustration boils through me. “I SAID PUT ME DOWN. NOW.”

The giant’s eyes grow wide and suddenly the world drops. I nearly faint as the big guy promptly follows my order. He spills me off onto the mattress again. I hold onto my stomach and spinning head, and my body flinches hard as I am hit with a sudden realization: I just yelled at a giant. Not a robot that will follow orders, but a fully autonomous person far outside my locus of control. I curl myself small, expecting anger, retaliation, violence even; but moments pass and nothing comes. I look back up at Celio. He appears concerned, a little hurt.

“Hey, you don't have to… Please, don't be scared like that. I promise, I would never hurt someone like you… Never on purpose anyway. I didn't save you from those lousy scavengers just to put you in harm's way myself. I mean, it’s not every day I get the chance to make a friend...”

The giant rises a bit and then very deliberately lays his head on the mattress next to me, making sure he was finally within earshot. I hesitantly plod closer and take a seat against his nose. The unexpected touch stirs a flinch that almost knocks me over.

“I hope you can forgive me for handling you like that. I just… I didn't want to risk you saying no to my help... I was afraid of what would happen if I didn't take care of your wounds.” His body shifted a little as his big arm swung overhead and covered his eyes embarrassedly. “I’ve heard littler folk can get such bad infections that you'll lose limbs or die. That doesn't happen to us giants. Our bodies are just too tough. I didn't know how long before it would be too late to stop it - y’know? Ugh, it’s probably a stupid assumption to make, but I was actually worried you’d die if I didn’t do anything,” he took a long, tentative pause. “Y’know Sorellina, I only really know four people. Two of them are my blood family so they don't even count... I just didn't want to lose potential friend number three before I even learned your name.”

I try to absorb the thought that someone other than a broken robot would want me around. To nearly every other organic person I've met, I'm 'just another borrower.' It is an unusual feeling to be wanted.

“Well, I guess we'd better get on it with the friend making business in case I get gangrene or something,” I chuckle, Celio doesn't seem to find it so funny. “Name's Kelly Clickspring. Everyone just calls me Clickspring... I think we might have some things in common, big guy.”

[inthepantheon]

1001 Nights: Arabian Nights, Part 1

The anticipation of Hekate’s party had me energized. Most of my family, all together in one place, celebrating the defeat of so many Titans, was something I was looking forward to. Plus, Artemis would be there. She had been so consumed with the care of Sayeh. The only time I really got to see her was when I visited the cave. It would be good for her to get out and away for a breather. Hekate said to come dressed in Arabian-themed attire, and I found this beautiful salwar kameez in mint green and pink-trimmed silver combination. The green reminded me of Sayeh, and the pink was that of Arty’s favorite pink peonies. It was perfect. I walked up to Urania’s gallery to a beautiful sight. Hekate had outdone herself. Candles and fabrics draped the room and hallways as you entered, changing the entire feel and look of the gallery. The music poured out of the speakers at the perfect level to complete the ambiance.  As I approached the entrance, Nike stood there on duty, announcing each guest as they entered. Artemis, Persephone, and Morpheus were already there and huddled together, chatting with each other.  “Introducing Selene,” Nike called out in her crisp, professional voice. I slipped in and made my way towards my friends. Hekate pulled Morpheus to the side just as I reached them, so I waved and figured I’d catch up with him in a bit.  Standing with Persephone and Artemis, I met her smile. “You look amazing tonight, Arty.” Artemis smiled slightly. “Thank you, Selene, as do you. I love your dress.” Her lehenga was a beautiful green that reminded me of Sayeh even more so than my own. “Is that color in honor of Sayeh?” “Yes, it is. How did you know?” “I’d know her color anywhere.” I blushed as I caught Artemis’s eyes. As Hekate finished her discussion with Morpheus, she walked to the center of the room, waiting for people to quiet. Morpheus watched the crowd, smiling, knowing what was coming next.  “Persephone, you look amazing,” I exclaimed as I drew my attention away from Artemis to greet my friend. Her lehenga was a lovely turquoise color with pink flowers on the bodice, along the flowing bottom, and sprinkled through her hair. Her face was rosy as she had only recently returned to the surface and was readjusting to time in the sun.  Persephone replied before turning to Hekate, “Thank you both. If not for you I wouldn’t have come.”  “I see you have matched. Is that for Sayeh?” Artemis asked. Hekate arched a brow. “May I have your attention, please?” Artemis turned to listen to Hekate as she called our attention, shifting her focus from the question she just asked me. Hekate continued, “Welcome, family, and thank you for coming. A special thanks to Urania for the use of her gallery tonight. I know the decorations seem sparse, but I ask…that you trust me.” She smiled slightly and made a graceful bow with her head. “We have come through trying times, but we have come through together. And before our work takes us in different directions, I thought we could all use a little magic, a little beauty, and a little more time together.” Hekate nodded to the Lampades, and the nymphs began handing out glasses of wine.  Hekate lowered her voice to a trancelike tone, and the wine in the glasses began to glow like a sunset sky. “The mind is a strange thing. Consciousness is the enemy of dreams, and a pleasant dream is what we need now, more than anything. This wine is enchanted to lull your conscious mind into a state of submission and allow the dreaming mind to come forward.” Artemis and Morpheus each took a glass from the nymph and sipped on it. Hekate continued, “If you do not drink, you will not have the full experience of the night. Again…I ask that you trust me. I ask that you drink and share a dream with me tonight. All of us together, before the waking world demands us again.” She held up her glass in a toast, then drank it down.   Persephone took the wine graciously but held it awkwardly. Artemis smiled at Persephone and called out to Morpheus to join us again. Hekate drained her glass and placed it on the tray of a passing nymph. Following suit, Persephone took a small sip of the wine.  Persephone doesn’t drink often and was afraid to lose her senses in such a public place, so she was apprehensive about drinking a lot. Morpheus nodded to Artemis that he would join us when he was done, then turned his attention back to Hekate in anticipation of his cue.  Persephone looked up from her glass to Hekate and asked, “The whole thing?”  Hekate replied, “The more you drink, the better the illusion will work.” Artemis whispered to me, “It’s time to drink up.” Morpheus downed his glass and placed it on the table. I tipped the glass back and drank it down. “Selene, if this wine knocks me out, make sure I get back to my room, okay?” Persephone leaned in and asked me before Morpheus began in a calm, clear, melodic voice.  “Everyone, clear your mind and relax your body. Close your eyes for just a brief time. You are protected and in a safe place. This is a time for friendship, love, and releasing worries. You are still you, but your sleeping mind is awakening. You are open to peaceful intentions. Everyone who should be here is. As you slowly open your true eyes, you look around. You are in a large Bedouin tent in the desert. Soft golden light shines within a large sitting area. Colorful pillows, rugs, majlis sofas, and other floor couches are arranged aesthetically. Hibiscus tea, arak, and mint lemonade sit prettily on tables with hummus, falafel, tabbouleh, baklava, and other delicious options to happily tempt you. There are small palm trees, jeweled jars, and as you breathe in the scent of handcrafted beeswax candles, you smile, and walk forward to enjoy the party.” He then bowed and smiled, and the dreams he conjured took their hold on the party. “I’m sorry Arty, I went to answer you, and Hekate needed the floor. Yes, this is the closest I could find to Sayeh’s color,” I replied as the dream and drink began to take effect, and I blushed. “Now that the scene is sufficiently set…I have gifts for you all,” Hekate said, drawing our attention from Morpheus and back onto her. Artemis slowly opened her eyes, glazed over with the dream in full effect. She turned to me and smiled warmly.. “You are so sweet to wear green for Sayeh.” Making his way over to us, now that his task had been completed. “Artemis, you made it,” Morpheus stated with a smile, glad to see his friend. “Wow!” I said as I looked around, impressed as I had never had a dream before and was completely fascinated by this experience. Artemis smiled and hugged Morpheus as Hekate nodded to the nymphs, who moved through the room, distributing small square boxes wrapped in colorful ribbons. Hekate began again, “If everyone will open their gifts, please.” Brightly colored butterflies in prismatic hues flew from all the boxes, except for the ones in the hands of Eris, Persephone, and Clio. Their boxes held a tiny brass genie lamp. I gasped as the butterflies filled the room. “So beautiful,” I said, watching the colorful creatures flit about the room. Clio’s eyes brightened. “Oh! Oh! I have an idea, guys!” Hekate turned to look at Clio. Clio giggled. “We should play a game, and I know which one to play.” Artemis looked at Clio. “A game?” Hekate opened her mouth to say something and reined in her tongue. “With all due respect, Mistress, we will not be playing anything you suggest tonight.” Clio pouted, “Why not, Hekate? It is harmless.” Eros looked down at his drink, then at Katie evilly. “I have a game.” He perked up. Hekate looked at Eros. “Fine. Anything but what Clio wants to play.” Eros smirked wickedly. “I have noticed that not nearly enough of us have made out, a true travesty, let’s play a mortal game...Spin the Bottle.” A stunned look crossed Hekate’s face before she replied, “I don’t think that’s exactly appropriate, Eros.” “Spin the Bottle?” I asked, surprised at this unforeseen turn of events. This was not exactly what I expected at this party. Artemis switched her empty wine glass for another refill and smirked. “Spin the Bottle? Really?” “Something else, Eros,” Hekate replied. Eros shook his head. “Too bad. You said anything but Clio’s game.” With resignation, Hekate conceded, “The game is named.” I looked around for another drink. “Iwill need more for this.” Artemis looked down and back at me. “Would you be playing this game?” Hekate cleared off a space on a low table for Eros to use as he explained the game. Eris, in his male form, spoke up, “Is kiss the only option for what is done to them?”  “Um, yeah. I’ll play,” I replied to Artemis and grabbed a glass off a passing tray and drank it down. “Why not?” Artemis shifted uncomfortably before she replied, “I guess I could join you then, Selene.” The thought of Artemis playing and that I could actually kiss her made my heart flutter. I muttered, “Oh crap,” under my breath. Eros pulled out a long golden arrow, the top glinting. “Spin the arrow has a better ring to it,” he said with a cocky grin spreading across his face. Hekate frowned. I tried to act like it didn’t bother me and replied, “If you want, Arty. It could be fun. I haven’t really ventured out since Endy, ya know?” I blushed, trying to deflect my true feelings. Eris piped back in, “It’s been a long time since I kissed someone, you know, other than to get out of being arrested.”  I smiled. I had missed Eris and was glad they were home. Their male form was rather dashing tonight, as well. I was definitely not complaining if I landed on them. Persephone caught my eye and grinned at me. “Let’s get our seats,” she said as we walked over together. Artemis dragged Morpheus to sit down with her, opposite to Persephone and me.  The game got underway, and it was several uncomfortable scenes and another drink or two later when Eros called out, “Missy! Your turn!” I gulped and looked around for another drink.  “What?” she called out, surprised he would call her so soon.  “Spin the arrow, Missy.” He smirked. Artemis picked up the arrow and placed it on the table, gulped, then spun it. The arrow stopped, right...on...me!  “Oh, shit!” I gulped. Our first kiss and it was going to be here in front of everyone? I knew I was feeling something towards Artemis recently, but this was forcing the issue a bit, sudden and awkwardly. I looked at Artemis to see how she was reacting to where the arrow landed. She was smiling and looking right at me. I giggled nervously and suddenly felt like an idiot. How does she make me feel this way and lose myself? I took another swig of my drink and turned towards Artemis, ready as I was going to be for our very public first kiss. Artemis got up from her side of the table and walked over and sat down beside me. She placed her hand on my cheek and caressed my face. She leaned forward and placed her lips on mine, closing her eyes and kissing me deeply. I put my hands on Artemis’s strong shoulders, bringing her closer as I responded, reciprocating her deep kiss.  As we pulled out of the kiss, Eris called out, “That’s what I call a full moon!” Artemis’s face turned a deep shade of crimson, mine a similar hue.  “Holy crap—” I began to speak when Eros chimed in again. “Selene, you’re up!” Artemis placed her hand on mine, and I lost my train of thought again. “Hmmm?” I asked Eros, completely lost in the touch of Artemis’s hand and the memory of her lips on mine. “Spin the arrow. It’s your turn,” he said, snapping me out of it. “Fuck! Um, okay.” Taking a deep breath, I reached for the arrow and spun it. “Oh, shit!” Artemis called out as I shot a side glance at her, my heart racing in my chest. The arrow stopped on Eris. “Well, I didn’t see that coming,” Eris said with a smile. “Okay, um,” I giggled nervously, “welcome home, Eris.”   Read the full article