#bc they get to be there the entire school year
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#i just realized i only get 5 more days with my students 😭😭#i only have my internship 1 day a week and i'm there four more weeks#and i'm subbing for my mentor teacher one day this week#it's almost over 😭😭😭#i'm going to miss them!#i'll see them around campus next semester since i should be doing my intern 2 in the same classroom#but i'll have a whole new group of kids then#i'm kinda jealous of the people who start their internship at the beginning of the school year instead of in the spring#bc they get to be there the entire school year#but i'm also glad how it worked out for me bc intern 2 starts sooner than intern 1 which means i'll get to be there on the 1st day of schoo#and see how my mentor teacher does the beginning of the year stuff#and i'll get to help out with it!#intern 2 is 5 days a week so it'll pretty much be a coteaching position#i'm really excited to be there every day#i'm going to miss my current first graders though 🥺#i'm so glad that i'm enjoying my student teaching this much#i really lucked out with my placement
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oc questionnaire - dhes edition
tagged by @vicciouxs (ty!! <3)
NAME: Destiny Rose (he hates his name though. anyone who calls him destiny WILL get decked)
NICKNAME: Dhestyn, Dhes, Dusty, & Tiny (that’s what his grandparents call him)
GENDER: male, he/him
STAR SIGN: leo
HEIGHT: 5'7
ORIENTATION: gay
NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: american, latino
FAVORITE FRUIT: mangoes
FAVORITE SEASON: summer
FAVORITE FLOWER: sunflower
FAVORITE SCENT: kel's pizza breath uhhh probably his dad's cooking
COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: coffee (he drinks it black)
AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 2-4
DOGS OR CATS: he actually likes both, but i personally associate him more with dogs
DREAM TRIP: he doesn't have one, but honestly he'd have fun going anywhere
NUMBER OF BLANKETS: 0-1
RANDOM FACT: he was expelled from school halfway through his 8th grade year lol
tagging: @sikoi, @flovoid, @elderwisp, @birdietrait, & @mexipoopy (no pressure ofc!)
#tag game#dhestyn#myedits#returning to my blender roots of character against a solid colored background...#dhes getting expelled is actually the reason he met kel! i mean. sort of. part of it anyway.#his family had to move bc the school he got expelled from was in fact the only middle/high school in his entire small town so.#there wasn't any other school nearby he could transfer to. soooo they moved to the city!#for the record his family was planning to move anyway bc they felt the environment they were in wasn't good for dhes#they were just hoping to let him finish the year first but well. dhes. lol#leave it to him to cause a scene & derail everyone's plans
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i feel as if im going mad so im going to just put this out here. real quick. movieunleashers starters ramble.
i cant stop thinking about how mudkip broke down in that one scene in "Typomaniac," when Chespin called him mean. for a second he lets his mask slip a little bit and to me he just... acts his age. he starts crying and calls chespin mean back. maybe im just hyperfocusing on this one detail but mudkip is about 12 years old.
and that just makes me wonder what happened in this guys life that brought him to where he is now. and it makes it all the more tragic how his whole world revolves around chespin, but he is the one bringing him the most pain. and how young he was when he died.
there is a large theme of growing up in "Rare Candy." the characters ages are emphasized in that particular episode, and one of the main conflicts is fennekin wanting to evolve faster.
the thing about characters in these stories is that they're not allowed to just be kids, to have a childhood. so many bad things happen to them. like. mudkips whole, Everything. fennekin when she was famous in typomaniac, or dealing with her own insecurities/pressure from society about her relationship w chespin. and chespin always having to shoulder his friends problems & always somehow managing to stay positive despite everything.
why cant they just. play video games. eat ice cream or something. go to the movies
at the end of the day, i think both mudkip and fennekin are characters who grew up too fast. by distancing himself from them, chespin refused to follow in their footsteps and just wanted to stay a kid.
good for him.
#starters movieunleashers#rambles#long post#mudkip starters#fennekin starters#chespin starters#NOT TO SAY THAT BEING 12 YEARS OLD ABSOLVES YOU OF ALL CRIME BUT GOOD GOD#i honestly think it was good for chespin to distance himself from them??? especially mudkip. holy cow#he seemed... happier(?) in wild oranberries but tbf its hard to say for sure#bc chespin loves doing this thing called “lying”#also. i saw the end credits sequence#not sure how to feel about it i do not have enough information to go off of#but i suppose itll make more sense... all in due time#but going back to what i said earlier i think the issues a lot more complicated#i worry about chespin that boys friendship is basically just “i can fix him!” like girl. no#THEY ALL NEED THERAPY#INCLUDING THE GANG FROM LAVENDER TOWN#*ESPECIALLY* THOSE GUYS#please. ill cry#i cant help but think this will all end in tragedy#i hope mudkip gets a good ending or at least a bittersweet one#like again. he kills people. but hes also like not even in high school and i feel bad for all of them#anyways IM SORRH GOR YHE LONG RAMBLE I RLLY LIKE THIS SERIES??? AND THIS THOUGHT WAS EATING ME ALIVE SO I RLLY WANTED TO SAY IT#hey gang. new hyperfixation#hm. i should also mention the “watching his close friend die on front of him and feeling responsible for it” to the list of chespins traumas#i domt think fennekin was a “bad friend” as much as i think she just had her owm things toing on#and its entirely chespins choice to dostance himself from her
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i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((
#now im just unable to concentrate on anything and feeling very worthless#ok gonna start rambling here a bit#vent? ->#i'm just not good at anything except drawing. everything is hard and i don't think i'm capable of getting a job and contributing to society#in any way except drawing. my self worth is being held almost entirely by my ability to draw.#but i'm also incredibly slow and unproductive and it's so hard sitting down and starting a drawing and finishing that drawing#drawing is the thing that makes me feel alive and feel good about myself so when i can't draw i just feel really awful#i just wish i could concentrate and work and be productive man. why do i have so much stuff going on in my brain. why is everything so hard#sadge 😔😔#ok gonna try to draw i hope something cool comes out or i'm throwing my computer out the window and playing videogames#oh also another neurologist once told me depression can't be caused by school#i'm pretty sure it can but idk im not a doctor#what is up with these neurologists man#i know it's gonna get better tho. life might suck but i *am* a teenager and it's only gonna go up from here.#im still learning about myself and stuff. also no school next year that's gonna be awesome#don't wanna end on a sad note bc life is good actually#and i'm fucking amazing at drawing
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Side-note to the 'Yuki is absolutely still pretty dang popular at uni purely due to being canonically gorgeous' thing is: fake-dating AU where Yuki starts to pick up on the fact that this sort of attention is following him even here and hates it with A Thousand Suns so when Kakeru half-jokingly suggests they should tell everyone they're dating just to throw them off Yuki draws him into a full dip-kiss then and there because absolutely nobody correctly estimates the extent to which he would Rather Fucking Die than go through anything like that fanclub scenario all over again.
#yukeru#they WOULDN'T set up a fan club obviously because. that's such a 00s manga high school thing hahahaha#but Yuki will be surprised to learn just how many people will shoot their shot regardless#and/or convince themselves that he couldn't possibly be dating kakeru bc their leagues are light years apart#a thought Kakeru doesn't entirely disagree with but which inevitably only encourages him to get EXTRA lovey-dovey#unironically would write this if it wouldn't mean having to come up with so many goddamn OCs lol#fruits basket
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i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny
also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade
-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)
-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)
-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)
-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)
my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath
in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do
#base line i started sobbing IN THE MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS and had my phone taken away bc i was watching the mv for the ghost of you by mcr#i went to school with cat whiskers#me and my bsf made a presentation about an imaginary trip to the planet uranus and we filled it with so many memes and butt puns she started#laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and i had to do the entire presentation alone and we got a standing ovation#my 8th grade science teacher hated us#another time same class we had an assignment where we had to make a bunch of words with the periodic table and we did shrek and lucifer one#after another and when we turned it in our teacher read it and immediately told us to leave💀💀#same class again different friend we saw NA on the periodic table and started singing nanana by mcr and got sent out of class bc we started#laughing so hard we couldn't breathe#high school i would eddie munson on the lunch tables#found that aspect of eddie so relatable#filmed youtube videos at my old hs that STILL EXIST ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL#id honestly have them up for anyone to see but my old bsf found them extremely embarrassing and she thinks i deleted them#i used to go to school with a whole library in my backpack like the entire pjo/hoo series of unfortunate events harry potter etc#my backpack had a bunch of doodles on it and it said battaco big asf and it was an inside joke with my friends for years bc of it#i also used to go to school dressed as frank iero/gerard way/etc#pete wentz eyeliner#larped with the anime club in this little corner outside of the library bc it had a bunch of trees and a 6 ft long stick that we took turns#holding and screaming YOU SHALL NOT PASS‼️‼️#the middle school book club had movies days on fridays and when people tried to vote to watch the lighting thief movie i stood on my chair#and spent so long bitching about how bad it was that we had to do the movie the next monday bc people needed to go home and the librarian#could not stop my righteous fury#a teacher assaulted me trying to get me to stand for the flag so i dead weight dropped on top of him and then ran around the class to stay#away(real hard to do in a small music classroom) and when i got tired of that i beat him up a little and i didnt get in trouble bc he was#really embarrassed i got the drop on him(bc i had tiddies)#that man hated me for being trans#really got mad at me when the pledge started after that and id get up and salute while singing welcome to the black parade#was also genuinely bad at soccer that my teacher sent me off to other teachers when our class did soccer bc the only time i ever got the#ball i kicked it into the wrong goal#i got more stories but i ran out of tags :(
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I hope people remember.
When Gaza is razed to the ground I hope people remember those who were lost. When the rest of the Palestinians who are being massacred all across Palestine are gone I hope the world remembers them all. I hope those who loved them celebrate their memory.
I hope the people whose hands are coated in the blood of these beautiful, brave people remember. I hope they are haunted by their actions every single moment of their entire lives. I hope they feel the suffering that every single Palestinian felt every second of their lives. I hope it's the last thought in their head when they die.
I will remember. I will never forgive.
#palestine#current events#the entire sky is red in gaza tonight#im trying so hard every day to keep it together but every single day this continues a piece of me is carved out#everytime I think it cannot get worse it does#im so worried that my friend will stop replying to my messages bc shes gone and I wont know it until later#shes a school teacher there#shes the most beautiful soul and im so sickened to think of her being gone#if she is taken from me I'll hate the entire world#and now they've e n tered the west bank and i have family there and I cannot stop thinking every day I'll get the news they are gone too#just like the 50 familes ENTIRE familes that were slaughtered#im so stressed everyday that im physically sick#and like I should be used to this bc this happens every year and im always hearing about someone dying but its never been like this before#never like this#they never saw us as humans and now they are exterminating us#ive looked into those soldiers eyes as a child and I saw no humanity for me there#tw: genocide
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does anyone know how to be happy if you can't make your dreams come true? like genuinely?
#🦌#i can't be this unhappy forever bc realistically i know ill never get there#maybe it would be easier if i was in a relationship or married but I'm just so fucking unhappy#ive already wasted my entire high school and college years to depression and if all my 20s vanish as well ill never forgive myself
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so with this year’s April Fool’s event, which is themed after the Chinese Zodiac, A3! has given almost every character confirmed official birth years depending on what zodiac clan they were assigned to! these are as follows:
?????? - Guy, Azuma (they were assigned the cat, which is an unofficial / excluded zodiac sign. clever move, Liber.)
1987 (Rabbit) - Sakyo
1991 (Ram) - Homare
1992 (Monkey) - Chikage, Hisoka
1993 (Rooster) - Tsumugi
1994 (Dog) - Tasuku, Itaru
1995 (Pig) - Citron
1997 (Ox) - Omi
1998 (Tiger) - Misumi, Kazunari
1999 (Rabbit) - Tsuzuru
2000 (Dragon) - Banri, Juza
2001 (Snake) - Sakuya, Tenma, Taichi
2002 (Horse) - Masumi, Kumon
2003 (Ram) - Yuki, Muku
2004 (Monkey) - Azami
(Izumi got assigned Rat, which would be 1996, but based on canon statements about her age (her knowing Sakyo as a kid + her being the same general age as TaTsm), she’s presumably a 1992-1993 baby & she got put in Rat solely bc no one else filled that slot.)
#a3#a3! act addict actors#listing all this has made me realise the way a3 labels ages is…. interesting.#bc of how it does things people who may be only a few months apart in age will be listed as an entire year apart#because based on these birthdays it lists everyone as the age they’re turning within that act (going april to march)#so say… tasuku who’s only a few months older than itaru is listed as a year older than him bc he turned 23 right before act 1. whereas itar#turns 23 at the start of it. and then tasuku turns 24 in february. and then for acts 2 on the ages just tick up one#so even tho for most of the year they’re the same age tasuku will be listed as older#this is the same for masumi & kumon and sakuya & taiten#this makes a lot of age assignments for the students Interesting also bc they seem younger than they should be?#maybe i got too used to how enstars does the age stuff but 15-16 for 1st years 16-17 for second years 17-18 for third years…#but a3 has the third years turn 17 During their third year & etc. sakuya turns 17 at the very end of the school year#and it can’t be the march birthdays being the start of the year loop bc then sakuya would be a 2000 baby and masumi 2001#i think i’m overthinking this LOL. well anyways!#i also saw someone point out homare is three days too early to be a goat so LOL i don’t think they thought this through past general year#on that note is it goat or is it ram. i see people use them interchangeably. well anyways#bri.txt#omi literally only five (5) days younger than me…#also i just realised. tsuzuru being assigned rabbit LOLLLLLLLLLLL he is never getting past the white rabbit
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I feel like im.about to vormit 💔💔💔💔
#this school year the absences policy is so strict.... mom says if i feel bad then i shouldn't go but even if its excused they can just.#take away my credit if im sick too many times. so im tempted to just go and if i throw up than whatever i guess.#god but the speech they gave to justify cracking down on things out of people's control..#like. 'ever since covid hit we've seen a huge spike in absences and skipping school will not be tolorated 😡' WOAH! craaaazy bro!#i womder WHY there could be a huuuge spike in absences... Crazy! hey while youre at it.#maybe you could use some context clues! are there any CONTEXT CLUES in the scentence that you JUST NOW spoke. do you hear yourself.#jesus fucking christ. nightmare school.#im considering getting a ged bc. ive already used two of my nine allowed absences for the entire year. fucker#etemophobia tw#nooo and then the 'we are one big happy family and our wonderful students mean so much to us 🥺' right afterwards.#okay. then fucking act like it.
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🦨
#ughhh someone pointed out the atrocity in my face. i hate thatfeature of me so bad#and now i cant stop thinking about it and i hate myself and my face and i got bad feelings#because throughout my entire life i've been so bullied for it#i feel so ugly ugh!!!!!! i am ugly i wanna cry who could ever love me when i look like this skksksks#the worst abt having a face deformity is that it is on your FACE!!!!! i cant hide it#it's out there for everyone to see#and i cant remove it. i can get plastic surgery etc but i cant afford that at all now. maybe when i have a job :(((#and it really is so big in my brain. i notice it constantly#i cant look at other ppl without checking their chins to see if it's smooth or not#and most ppl have normal chins. pretty much everyone has a normal chin!!!!#i wish i was normal too. i hate looking like this i hate it so bad#it is so unfair that i gotta be stuck w this ugly fkn feature but everyone else gets to look normal#so unfair so unfair it makes me so angry#why did i get the worst genes ever i cant stand having to live my life being this grotesquely ugly#anyway.... i try to suppress it nd not think abt it but earlier today someone made a comment abt it#nd now i just wnna cry because it is soooooooo ugly and i hate it#besides yeah it made me rmbr my school years bc ppl were sofkn mean to me abt it#like im sorry i know im ugly wtf do u want me to do?!?!
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trying to remind myself high school doesn’t determine my entire future. trying not to cry and explode everywhere. kinda failing
#i just.#mall my life grades have been so important#it’s always been about passing classes and college and my career#and i don’t know how to. live . in a way that doesn’t prioritize grades as the most important defining things in my life#i don’t know#i just don’t know how to handle it#bc im doing shit in world history and chemistry and ap seminar and i don’t know what the fuck to do#i don’t know wtf to do#grades aren’t the end of the world. grades don’t determine your future#<- i say having parents who believe grades will determine my entire future#i don’t get it. my mom spent so many years in law school now she’s a stay at home mom why is she so stressed about me going to college i ju#i don’t know what to do
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OLIVIE BLAKE PODCAST WHERE SHE ONCE AGAIN REAFFIRMS THAT LIBBY RHODES IS A CAPITAL V VILLAIN FOR THE VERY REASONS WHY SO MANY THINK SHE'S BABYGIRL YEAH YEAH YEAH I WIN I WIN I'M ALWAYS CORRECT!
#the atlas complex#ta6#don't get me wrong: libby rhodes is a fantastically constructed character#but she's also a woefully AWFUL person and her descent is so brilliant bc you empathize with her the entire time!! !#and then suddenly you're like wait?!!! this bitch is CRAZY?!?!?#libby in the atlas paradox like yeah she's the white girl you went to high school who said something so stealthily racist you didn't even#realize it until six years later#she's the white girl currently telling you you HAVE to vote for biden despite the genocide he's aiding and abetting#everything libby did in the atlas complex makes complete sense actually when you accept how breathtakingly selfish she always was#libby rhodes!! love that bitch and i hate that bitch#olivieblake
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i am feeling So Many Things at the moment but mostly i just feel like a disaster
#friday chats#tw vent#it's like.#new school - far from family - already behind - new crush - really tired - fucking focus would you?! - new show - undone chores#on and on and on#a big ball of highs and lows that - instead of mellowing out into a net positive or negative -#- just make me feel like i'm being pulled in two opposite directions#why can't i just have the good and not the bad#i really wanted to take a gap year to decompress from All Of High School but my parents refused#kind of wish i took it regardless. just ''whoops - missed the application deadline! i'll get it in next year'' and faced their ire#but then i wouldn't have met my new friend at freshman camp#we both were individually interested in the queer orgs on campus and could have still met that way#but idk. it wouldn't have been the same#mostly i'm just worried i'm not cut out for living on my own. being an adult with a job. doing college at all.#not because people who have to rely on others/don't have a job/drop out are supposedly failures#but bc i don't have anybody i could safely fall back on AND live a life that is entirely my own if i don't make it#all i've got is my family. who will judge me for failing and force me to stay in the closet.#and frankly i don't want to live like that#so i have to keep going#but also part of me's like. ''you're ready to throw in the towel only a week in?? for fuck's sake friday come on''#it was just so much. i don't know. i just want to rest. i've been stressed for so long#i want a life where my needs are met and i feel safe and loved. that's all#but NOO i have to get a DEGREE to get a JOB so i can even begin to THINK of something like that#my family always jokes about how one day when i'm successful as an author i'll be super rich and have a private jet or whatever#and yeah that just speaks to how poorly they know me but more importantly IF i make it that big i just want to settle somewhere nice#somewhere cozy. maybe start a garden. get a cat. hold a loved one close at night. that's it really#and it sure would be nice if i could have that without having to bend over backwards getting a degree and a 9-to-5 or w/e#but i can't. so throwing myself at the wall that is my shit executive function it is.
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staying up as late as possible tipsy playing bg3 because thats just the sort of week I've had i cannot even lie rn
#i have work at 10am tmrw and start school on Monday#and this week so far have gotten into a bad crash and totalled a car my family has had for 10 years (didn't severely get injured#but its fucked me up a bit mentally) then had work every single day (i work part time and generally do not have a shift more than two days#in a row at the most) and then today i did not have work but did get broken up with (not for any fault of either of us and we still very#much are in love with each other and want to be together which almost makes it hurt worse bc it's entirely due to circumstance)#(oh btw the crash was actually on the way to help with her moving in to college last weekend)#i have had No Fucking Break the entire week. and have work tomorrow. and then im jumping right into a new school year.#gonna be so honest? not very fun way to end off the summer and it's definitely not reassuring that im already burned out#before school even starts#just me rambling again#vent post#i know i will make it through and that things will be good again it's just been such a shit week :((#doesn't help that I haven't really interacted much with people or gone outside either#too busy for that
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Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️
#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn#I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other#for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things#but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time#but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh#I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time#I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone#and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me#granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3#especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever#and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts#bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person#and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life#like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path#anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post#internet archive#personal#selnia talks
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