#bc then i can attempt to write things
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should i rewatch skybound? < hasnt even finished the whole show yet
#like i really want to#bc then i can attempt to write things#but i really need to finish the series and get started on dragons rising#maybe if i quickly finish the rest of the show#<is up to season 13#i really need to finish this fucking show#because then i can rewatch skybound#and go crazy over it (i hate the canon sometimes but i need writing material)#apollos skybound obssesion#☀️.txt
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She hears him calling her name as she flees down the spiral staircase, almost tripping over her feet in her rush to get away from him, but he catches up quickly, reaching out to grab her arm in an attempt to slow her down. She stops running immediately - she supposes her traitorous body wants to see what he has to say, or maybe it just wants to bask in his intoxicating proximity. He crowds her space, and she sees that unfamiliar look in his eyes again. So very different from the cold disdain she had seen the last time she had been this close to him, during the argument that had ended their friendship.
Oh, Merlin, he's getting closer to her, and she can now clearly see the freckles dusting his cheeks and nose and forehead and then before she knows it, his hand is sliding up her arm, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touches and then he's caressing her jaw with his rough thumb and he pauses. Her eyelids flutter closed as her head tilts towards him - she couldn't stop herself even if she wanted to (what does she want?). She can feel his warm breath ghosting over her lips and she has the improbable, ridiculous thought - how is he remembering to breathe? - before he speaks. His lips brush against hers with every soft word and a deep shiver runs through her body.
"I," she hears him say, his voice so, so low, "haven't been able to think since last week."
That's all she needs to hear, the brush of his bottom lip against hers all she needs to feel, to push her into closing what minuscule distance there is between them and then his lips are on hers and it's better than anything she's been imagining. His mouth is soft against hers, insistent, and her hands go up to grip the collar of his plaid jacket to make sure he doesn't go away or disappear on her.
from my oneshot💘
#attempt number 2 at digital art🫶#also I AM BLOWN AWAY THAT YOU ALL LIKE THIS SILLY LITTLE ONESHOT SO MUCH😭💓😭💓🫂#it was just super self indulgent exactly what I wanted to read#but I’m SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT TOO🥹🥹🥹#it took me FOREVER to write bc I am a slowpoke#I maybe started it end of august/beginning of September??#also it coincided perfectly bc today is my 6 year anniversary with the love of my life :’)🥹💓#I’ve just been mushy these days bahahahahahahaha#so to post the most romantic thing I’ve written to date😆 not including my fanfic…which will get more romantic eventually…#anyways with digital I’m still not convinced but with writing more combined with no daylight to traditionally paint (🥲) it’s fun#to experiment#and you can see my journey as i actually become good at it🫶#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#sebastian sallow x mc
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Ghostlights cuddling for comfort, but also they're oblivious idiots who are pining over each other but thinks its unrequited
“Ugh,” Duke says, dropping down onto the bench besides Danny.
Danny nudges him with his shoulder. “Rough night?”
“Slept for like an hour,” Duke mutters, “This sucks. My head’s going to burst like balloon and my eyes are about to fall out.”
“Yikes. You know, you could have just canceled for today. I wouldn’t have minded.”
Duke sighs and presses the heel of his palms against his eyes. “Maybe, but I would have minded. We barely see each other anymore, man. I’ve missed you.”
“Oh.” Danny bites his lip, trying and failing to stop from smiling. Something soft in his chest glows at the words, a growing spark of happiness in knowing that for this, at least, the feeling is requited. It’s nice to hear that he was missed, and it would be even nicer if Duke wasn’t in pain, pushing himself just because he didn’t want to cancel. Carefully, Danny reaches for him and pulls his hands away from his face. “Here,” he says, “Let me.”
His hands are always cold. Most of him is cold, really — side effect of having an ice core. Sam told him once that his hands were better than an ice pack, and he’s hoping she’s right or this is going to be weird.
Danny gently presses his fingers against Duke’s temples, his hands cradling Duke’s face. Duke is tense for a few seconds, then abruptly relaxes, leaning into Danny’s hands.
“Is this helping?” he asks, voice hushed to keep from aggravating Duke’s migraine.
“Mhm. Yeah, it feels great. Thanks, Danny.”
Duke goes completely limp, leaning against Danny. They sit there for a minute in silence, the rest of the world feeling far away. As nice as it is to just exist together, he knows what Duke needs most right now is quiet and stillness. Gotham is very much not that, and every honking car that passes by makes Duke wince, trying to turn away from the road even more.
“Hey, let’s head back to my place. It’s close by, and a lot quieter than out here.”
“Are you sure? I know we planned to go to the arcade today…”
“The arcade can wait. You’re more important.”
Duke blinks open his eyes and looks at Danny with something soft in his gaze. Being so close together, barely any space between them, with Duke looking at him like that makes Danny’s cheeks flush red, unable to think anything but please kiss me.
Which is never going to happen. Duke is his friend, and just his friend, no matter how much Danny wishes they could be something more. It’s a pipe dream, something so impossible it’s almost laughable.
Duke likes being friends with normal human Danny. He doesn’t want to imagine how he would react if he found out about Danny being half ghost, assuming this imaginary reveal happens without Danny being hunted down and cut open by GIW agents.
He’s still in hiding, always waiting for the worst as he stays in the apartment his friends (living and dead) had set up for him. The building is for ghosts so it technically doesn’t exists, which means it’s the safest place for Danny while he’s actively being hunted by the US government.
He can’t be honest with Duke. Can’t be as close to him as he wants to be. Duke deserves more than to be dragged into Danny’s problems and put in danger.
Even so, Danny can’t help but want him around, pushing his luck each time they hang out.
“Come on,” Danny urges, standing up. He pulls his hands away and Duke’s brow immediately furrows, his pain returning. “It’s only a few streets away.”
Duke sighs, then visibly braces himself before he stands up. Danny tucks himself into Duke’s side, taking as much of his weight as he can as he walks them down the street. It’s times like these that he wishes he could reveal his powers safely and just fly them to his apartment. But even without the GIW gunning for his head, showing off powers in Gotham is a sure fire way to get a target painted on his back.
“Almost there,” he says as they turn a corner.
His apartment doesn’t have a fixed address. It doesn’t have a fixed location at all, drifting around, but it likes this street the most, so this is where it usually is. Danny takes them halfway down the street, then turns into an alley, following his ghost sense.
Where there’s usually a dead end is instead a building, looking as if it’s always been tucked away in this alley. Danny keeps a tight grip on Duke as they climb the front steps, silently asking for the building to let him stay while he’s with Danny. The door opens easily, which is as good as an agreement, and they’re inside without anything going wrong. The small entrance lobby is empty, with an area for packages filled with clearly magical artifacts carelessly wrapped in bubble wrap.
Danny drags them past that quickly, hoping Duke doesn’t notice, and calls the elevator down. It arrives silently, the doors opening to let another tenant out. Carefully, Danny positions himself in front of Duke, making sure he doesn’t see how the tenant, who nods at Danny, has a still bleeding wound in his stomach that has him nearly split in half.
“Alright,” he says, ushering Duke into the elevator, “Just a little ride up and then you can lay down.” He hits the button for the fourth floor and they ride up in silence, Duke dropping his head down to onto Danny’s shoulder again, wrapping his arms around his waist as he stands behind Danny. He’s glad Duke can’t see his face; there’s no doubt that he’s blushing like crazy and if that doesn’t give away his feelings, he doesn’t know what will.
Thankfully the elevator ride isn’t long. If Danny had to go for more than a minute with Duke breathing softly against his neck, his warm hands on his stomach, Danny would have collapsed into a pile of flustered goo.
He opens the door to his apartment and kicks his shoes off. Duke follows in suit, still plastered onto Danny’s back, refusing to let go.
“Come on,” Danny says, leading him to the couch, “Sit down and I’ll grad you some water and painkillers.”
Duke nods against his shoulder, then slowly detaches himself from Danny and makes his way to the couch. He drops onto it gracelessly, pressing his face into a cushion.
Danny winces. He must be feeling really bad. He knows how bad migraines can be with sleep deprivation, having suffered through high school with only a few hours of sleep at night, if he got to sleep at all. Frankly, it’s a testament to Duke’s strength that he lasted the entire walk to Danny’s apartment without complaint.
He returns to the living room with a full glass of water and a bottle of Advil, setting them on the coffee table to crouch next to the couch and place a cold hand on Duke’s cheek. “Hey,” he says softly when Duke turns to look at him, “Is Advil alright? It’s all I had.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. Thanks, Danny.”
Duke sits up and shakes out three pills, then washes them down with water. He drains the rest of the cup quickly, then falls back against the couch with his eyes squeezed shut.
“Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?”
Duke immediately reaches a hand out for him.
“Um?”
“Sit next to me. I feel better when I’m next to you.”
“Oh! Alright. Bet you’re only saying that because my hands are cold.”
“You caught me,” Duke laughs, pulling Danny onto the couch. He goes easily, tucking his legs beneath himself, and places his hands on Duke’s temples again. “Man, I owe you my life.”
“I don’t think my cold hands are worth quite that much.”
Duke hums, but doesn’t say anything else, so Danny settles in and focuses on keeping his hands a little colder than normal.
The apartment is quiet. No sound from outside can reach them, one of the few ways the building looks after its tenants. Danny and Duke fall against each other, at ease with each other. There’s no need to fill in the silence, and with Duke’s eyes closed, Danny doesn’t have to carefully shove down his feelings and act normal. He indulges in the warmth of Duke’s body pressed against his, a hand on his knee and an arm around his waist.
He keeps his hands as steady as possible as he looks over Duke, adoring all the little details he can see; a small scar on his chin, the fullness of his lips, the way his hair falls into his face now that it’s long enough to keep in braids.
“I can practically hear you thinking,” Duke murmurs, “What’s on your mind?”
You’re cute, he thinks, I feel safe with you. I want to kiss you. I wish I could be brave enough to be honest.
I wish I was brave. I wish I was brave. I wish I was brave.
“Nothing,” he says. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah. I might fall asleep though.”
“That’s fine. You know I would never say no to a nap.”
“Come here, then,” Duke says, and before Danny can do anything, Duke gets a stronger grip on his waist and pulls Danny down on top of him as he falls back towards the arm rest and gets his legs on the couch.
“Duke!”
Duke laughs underneath him, and Danny can feel it roll through him. Okay! This is definitely something he’s going to think about… forever. Wow, he can feel Duke’s abs tense up as he laughs, and has he always been ripped? Unfair. Also unfairly hot.
“Is this alright?” Duke asks, voice soft and quiet. There’s a hesitancy around his words that Danny doesn’t like hearing, and he brings his hands down to sweep his thumbs soothingly over Duke’s cheeks.
“Of course it is, man. I’d never refuse cuddles.”
“Okay. I’m gonna pass out now. Wake me in an hour?”
Danny moves his hands back up to his temples and says, “Sure. Get some rest, Duke. You really need it.”
He feels Duke relax beneath him, breaths slowing down as he begins to fall asleep. It’s peaceful and quiet and Duke is warm in a way Danny never can be with his ice core. He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but curled up on the couch with Duke in the safety of an apartment that only barely exists has him drifting off in no time at all.
. . .
(Duke wakes up before Danny. Their legs are tangled together and Duke has moved during his sleep, turning so Danny is held tightly to his chest, his back to the cushions, while Duke is balancing very carefully at the edge of the couch.
It’s been hours, and he should be heading home soon, but he stays as he is, enjoying this quiet moment for as long as he can have it. Danny is in his arms, safe and content with him, his head no longer hurts beyond a residual ache he can easily ignore, and he can admire how pretty Danny is without being worried about Danny catching his lingering stares.
These moments are precious to him, rare as they are, and he wants nothing more than to kiss Danny once he’s awake and let his feelings be known.
But the Signal has lots of dangerous people after him, and Gnomon has started causing problems in Gotham again. So he’ll bite his tongue and keep his less platonic feelings buried under lock and key until it’s safe enough for Danny to be around him more often.
And when that time comes, he can only hope that Danny will feel the same way.
That’s all far away from the stillness of Danny’s apartment. All that matters is that he has Danny in his arms. Everything else can wait.
For now, this is more than enough.)
#ghostlights#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp fic#dpxdc fanfic#prompt fill#my writing#once again unable to resist the urge to write abt living buildings#duke and danny are pining no stop bc they're both like 'this is a bad time for a relationship/i have to keep too many secrets' etc etc#while also cuddling and going on dates that they dont call dates out loud and sighing wistfully when they think of each other#taking what small things they can while trying to hide their feelings....#some other batfam member is going to stumble upon them in public and chat a bit w dukes friend#then walk away texting the group chat like 'hey duke and his friend are madly in love but too shy/stupid to do something abt it.#lets play cupid lol' and then theyre all trying to get duke and danny together#it gets to the point that every time they hang out it ends with them doing some nonsense to escape the batfam and their kind but unhinged#attempts to get them together#thanks for the prompt!!!
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@bigboobyhalo Your sacrifices have been accepted by the great Dapper. I'm so sorry but I don't think you'll be getting them back anytime soon. Or ever.
#nemart#qsmp#qsmp fanart#qsmp eggs#personal hc that bc the eggs are dragons they Love hoarding things#it differs with the egg#But Dappers pride-of-place in his little hoard are the plushies that Bad made him of 'their family.'#Bad's sitting in an armchair trying to crochet normally and Dapper is crouched beside him like a gargoyle watching him unblinkingly like 0-#Bad only realises the downside of how much Dapper loves them when Skeppy finally meets Dapper in person and Dapper reacts like that dog-#-who saw someone dressed up as his favourite toy and just went ballistic with happiness#-Like Dapper is Smart and he Knows that oh this is my other dad#this does not stop him from going ???? HUH ?????? PLUSHIE GOT BIG ?????? And attempting to add an increasingly confused Skeppy to the hoard#However the Real problems arise when he meets Junior who not only looks just like his plushie but is also Small and Shiny.#Skeppy can simply Walk Away when Dapper is trying furiously to get him to stay still#Junior Cannot.#Badboyhalo voice Where is my baby#Dapper (who knows perfectly well that Junior is currently going ???? is a veritable mountain of blankets) 'Oh he's missing? That's crazy.'#Anyway once again I am unable to resist writing a whole damn essay in the tags#Neon i Very much hope you like the drawing I cannot get your plushies out of my head they are so cute <3333
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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Bran The Time Traveling Toddler
Yes that IS a reference to the Tyrion the time traveling fetus theory. The thing about MY insane theories is that they actually make sense and I’m right. Follow me please down the worm hole!!
There’s very clearly Someone Influencing things when it comes to the Starklings and even the overreaching plot in general - there’s enough weird magic surrounding them, whispering in the wind, that it’s a no brainer they’re being watched over. The question is WHO and WHEN. For me, personally, I think it’s Bran, and I think it’s an older Bran from the future (whether it be Bran In TWOW and ADOS or Bran post canon) trying to lead his siblings to safety.
Now, like my Harrenhal meta, I don’t think I’m saying anything new so much as compiling what people have said scattered across the interwebs. There’s a lot of theories about whether Bran can time travel, time travel in general in the series, how george has dealt with time travel before, and about the three eyed crow’s identity and I agree with bits and pieces of what other people have said - preston jacobs is a more famous example of this theory for example. But I don't want to get caught up on things like time travel paradoxes because, like, i don’t care about that, and george has talked about how time travel is more fantasy than scifi bc it’s just not really scientifically possible. do you know what that means? it means there’s no weird physical paradoxes because it’s ✨magic✨ and Bran isn't literally going through space and time. It's as Jojen says-
With two eyes you see my face. With three you could see my heart. With two you can see that oak tree there. With three you could see the acorn the oak grew from and the stump that it will one day become. With two you see no farther than your walls. With three you would gaze south to the Summer Sea and north beyond the Wall
Through his greenseeing abilities, Bran can see the whole of a lifespan, from conception to burial, and can pop out at any point in that lifespan, because a span of 100, 1000, or 1,000,000 years is all the same to the weirwood. So I don't think it's in the realm of Crazy Ass Theories to say that Bran is capable of a more magic based form of time travel. That he can whisper in people's dreams, on the wind, taking on the voice of the old gods themselves and doing his best to nudge things the way he needs them to be in order to keep the people he loves safe.
I also don't think Bloodraven is Three Eyed Crow (though I do think he also uses this metaphor of "flying" wrt magic, and that's why Euron also has a comment about flying in his dreams - I just don't believe that metaphor originates with Brynden himself. Rather, I think he picked it up from somewhere else), but instead, it's Bran, using the weirwood network to get all the pieces on the board he needs where he needs them to be for the endgame. Notice that Brynden doesn't seem to know what Bran is talking about when he mentions the Three Eyed Crow-
"Are you the three-eyed crow?" Bran heard himself say. A three-eyed crow should have three eyes. He has only one, and that one red. Bran could feel the eye staring at him, shining like a pool of blood in the torchlight. Where his other eye should have been, a thin white root grew from an empty socket, down his cheek, and into his neck. "A … crow?" The pale lord's voice was dry. His lips moved slowly, as if they had forgotten how to form words. "Once, aye. Black of garb and black of blood."
Brynden mentions the watch, but doesn't mention the three eyed crow. Everyone simply refers to Brynden as the greenseer, not the three eyed crow, except for Bran himself, who simply assumes Brynden is the three eyed crow (and we know magical assumptions in this series are generally wrong!).
What’s double interesting to me about this “bloodraven is the three eyed crow” assumption is brynden himself makes his “a thousand eyes and one” comment - but doesn’t mention a third eye. Meanwhile, Bran’s narrative is obviously filled with bird references and the opening of his third eye from Bran feeding the crows on the towers before he falls then longing to go back to the crows afterwards, of a crow sending Jojen to “the winged wolf,” of his dreams of living as a bird in maester luwin’s rookery with his siblings - Jon Snow even compares him to a bird in their final scene face to face when he thinks bran has “fingers like the bones of birds.”
And notable that though both Rickon and Bran have a greendream where they talk to Ned in the crypts of Winterfell just before Ned is executed, Rickon makes no mention of a three eyed crow, but Bran explicitly sees him-
The mention of dreams reminded him. "I dreamed about the crow again last night. The one with three eyes. He flew into my bedchamber and told me to come with him, so I did. We went down to the crypts. Father was there, and we talked. He was sad."
"Shaggy," a small voice called. When Bran looked up, his little brother was standing in the mouth of Father's tomb. With one final snap at Summer's face, Shaggydog broke off and bounded to Rickon's side. "You let my father be," Rickon warned Luwin. "You let him be." "Rickon," Bran said softly. "Father's not here." "Yes he is. I saw him." Tears glistened on Rickon's face. "I saw him last night."
What that says to me is that the Three Eyed Crow has the ability to speak directly to only Bran and can only otherwise appear in a more ephemeral way to others. With the established rules about not being able to communicate properly with the past, I think this makes sense - being able to use the weirwood hivemind/greenseeing powers to appear in a different form to yourself but unable to appear in a concrete form to anyone else.
I think it's even likely we'll see Bran doing some of this nudging and whispering on page in ADOS or maybe as early as TWOW, but it won't be the exact same sort of "Bran can literally reach out and touch someone in a weirwood dream" that they had in the show with the later scenes. It'll be more like that very first scene in the show where we see Bran influence the past slightly - you know, when he calls out "father!" and young Ned turns around, having heard a voice on the wind-
And there's a direct parallel to ADWD here, where Bran is certain Ned heard him speaking in the godswood but Brynden says it's not possible (not possible for Brynden perhaps!)-
Lord Eddard Stark sat upon a rock beside the deep black pool in the godswood, the pale roots of the heart tree twisting around him like an old man's gnarled arms. The greatsword Ice lay across Lord Eddard's lap, and he was cleaning the blade with an oilcloth. "Winterfell," Bran whispered. His father looked up. "Who's there?" he asked, turning … … and Bran, frightened, pulled away. His father and the black pool and the godswood faded and were gone and he was back in the cavern, the pale thick roots of his weirwood throne cradling his limbs as a mother does a child.
It's not quite time travel. It's like the acorn and stump metaphor - Bran can't appear in his physical body in the past but he can make a bit of noise, perhaps even be mistaken for one of the old gods.
As TWOW and ADOS go on, I think we'll see Bran's powers grow (likely in ways that frighten him and horrify the reader), and we'll see the very beginnings of him influencing the plot that happens during the previous books, showing up in scenes we've already experienced, similar to the Ned scene above. I think this because, well...he's already done it!
Now, as for What Time Traveling Bran Has Already Done - it’s tricky because we have a LOT of magic users waking and shaking. I’m not including every single instance of weird whispering or funny birds here, just the moments I think are more likely to be Bran than anyone else because I think Bran mostly deals with his siblings. I imagine they're easiest to reach out to magically because they already have the ability to access magic, and they're also the people he cares most about. The most obvious to me is in A Clash of Kings, when Jon hears a voice on the wind, very similar to the young Ned scene in the show-
Jon VII in A Clash of Kings
The call came from behind him, softer than a whisper, but strong too. Can a shout be silent? He turned his head, searching for his brother, for a glimpse of a lean grey shape moving beneath the trees, but there was nothing, only … A weirwood. It seemed to sprout from solid rock, its pale roots twisting up from a myriad of fissures and hairline cracks. The tree was slender compared to other weirwoods he had seen, no more than a sapling, yet it was growing as he watched, its limbs thickening as they reached for the sky. Wary, he circled the smooth white trunk until he came to the face. Red eyes looked at him. Fierce eyes they were, yet glad to see him. The weirwood had his brother’s face. Had his brother always had three eyes?
Not always, came the silent shout. Not before the crow. He sniffed at the bark, smelled wolf and tree and boy, but behind that there were other scents, the rich brown smell of warm earth and the hard grey smell of stone and something else, something terrible. Death, he knew. He was smelling death. He cringed back, his hair bristling, and bared his fangs.
Don’t be afraid, I like it in the dark. No one can see you, but you can see them. But first you have to open your eyes. See? Like this. And the tree reached down and touched him.
This moment was when I really started paying attention to Weird Shit Bran Might Be Doing because of that line "not before the crow." Now, we know Bran mentions talking with Jon later on, in the very last chapter of the book, here-
He could reach Summer whenever he wanted, and once he had even touched Ghost and talked to Jon. Though maybe he had only dreamed that.
But I think it's both Bran in the present and Bran in ADOS speaking here - brothers reaching out to each other in their fear, and future Bran piggybacking off that connection to send a warning (this is back in Jon VII, during the shared Jon-Bran dream as before)-
Then he realized he was looking at a river of ice several thousand feet high. Under that glittering cold cliff was a great lake, its deep cobalt waters reflecting the snowcapped peaks that ringed it. There were men down in the valley, he saw now; many men, thousands, a huge host. Some were tearing great holes in the half-frozen ground, while others trained for war...This is no army, no more than it is a town. This is a whole people come together.
Bran warns Jon of the wildling army headed their way because he needs the Night’s Watch to stop fighting the wildlings, get them safely out of the True North (so they can’t be reanimated as wights), and focus on the Long Night. When you read the passage, it seems as if Bran is trying to awaken Jon’s third eye - something present baby Bran isn’t concerned with, because he barely understands his own third eye awakening. But a Bran in ADOS or beyond would know exactly what to say and do to get Jon and himself to wake up! Not just because of the paradox, but because of his connection to his brother and his vast understanding of his own magic. Similar to the idea that “who would know how to motivate Bran better than Bran himself” who would know how to motivate Jon better than one of his beloved siblings?
Arya X in A Clash of Kings
In the godswood she found her broomstick sword where she had left it, and carried it to the heart tree. There she knelt. Red leaves rustled. Red eyes peered inside her. The eyes of the gods. "Tell me what to do, you gods," she prayed.
For a long moment there was no sound but the wind and the water and the creak of leaf and limb. And then, far far off, beyond the godswood and the haunted towers and the immense stone walls of Harrenhal, from somewhere out in the world, came the long lonely howl of a wolf. Gooseprickles rose on Arya's skin, and for an instant she felt dizzy. Then, so faintly, it seemed as if she heard her father's voice. "When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives," he said.
“But there is no pack," she whispered to the weirwood. Bran and Rickon were dead, the Lannisters had Sansa, Jon had gone to the Wall. "I'm not even me now, I'm Nan."
"You are Arya of Winterfell, daughter of the north. You told me you could be strong. You have the wolf blood in you."
"The wolf blood." Arya remembered now. "I'll be as strong as Robb. I said I would." She took a deep breath, then lifted the broomstick in both hands and brought it down across her knee. It broke with a loud crack, and she threw the pieces aside. I am a direwolf, and done with wooden teeth.
Once again, we have a voice - it seemed as if it was her father's voice - telling a Starkling to do something specific, reminding that Starkling of their ties to Winterfell, the north, and home. The voice she hears, speaking her true name, is the kick in the pants Arya needs to grab Gendry and Hot Pie and get out of Harrenhal. There's something interesting, engaging, heartbreaking, that when Arya is at one of her lowest points, lamenting the loss of her pack, and out comes the voice of one of her pack urging her to keep faith, and helping to inspire one of her best moments - I am a direwolf, and done with wooden teeth. Again, we have a voice trying to get the Starklings to wake up and face their reality!
Sansa in A Storm of Swords
That night Sansa scarcely slept at all, but tossed and turned just as she had aboard the Merling King. She dreamt of Joffrey dying, but as he clawed at his throat and the blood ran down across his fingers she saw with horror that it was her brother Robb. And she dreamed of her wedding night too, of Tyrion's eyes devouring her as she undressed. Only then he was bigger than Tyrion had any right to be, and when he climbed into the bed his face was scarred only on one side. "I'll have a song from you," he rasped, and Sansa woke and found the old blind dog beside her once again. "I wish that you were Lady," she said.
To be clear I think there’s a large change this is nothing. BUT. Considering Bran seems to be reaching out to his siblings, I like the idea that Bran, and magic in general, is trying to talk to Sansa but she can’t quite hear it. Winterfell and it’s magic and it’s family is calling it’s daughter home, even torn from her magical guide as she is, still trying to reach out through her dreams and through the animals around her. I’m desperately hoping that at some point in Sansa’s early TWOW chapters, we’ll start to see birds acting and speaking funny around her as Bran tries harder to reach his lost sister.
Theon Greyjoy in A Dance With Dragons
BUT. I don't think it's just the Starklings that get these messages from Bran - it's everyone he cares about, everyone he loves or will love. One of the other more obvious examples of this is Theon Greyjoy, himself clearly capable of some degree of magic, just like the Starklings-
The night was windless, the snow drifting straight down out of a cold black sky, yet the leaves of the heart tree were rustling his name. “Theon,” they seemed to whisper, “Theon.” The old gods, he thought. They know me. They know my name. I was Theon of House Greyjoy. I was a ward of Eddard Stark, a friend and brother to his children. “Please.” He fell to his knees. “A sword, that’s all I ask. Let me die as Theon, not as Reek.” Tears trickled down his cheeks, impossibly warm. “I was ironborn. A son … a son of Pyke, of the islands.” A leaf drifted down from above, brushed his brow, and landed in the pool. It floated on the water, red, five-fingered, like a bloody hand. “… Bran,” the tree murmured. They know. The gods know. They saw what I did. And for one strange moment it seemed as if it were Bran’s face carved into the pale trunk of the weirwood, staring down at him with eyes red and wise and sad. Bran’s ghost, he thought, but that was madness. Why should Bran want to haunt him? He had been fond of the boy, had never done him any harm. It was not Bran we killed. It was not Rickon. They were only miller’s sons, from the mill by the Acorn Water.
“he had been fond of the boy” please allow me this moment to contemplate killing myself thanks.
okay back on track but this is very self explanatory - we know Theon has some sort of capacity for magic because he had a vision of the Red Wedding in ACOK and unlike Jaime who just fell asleep on a weirweed tree, Theon was just up in bed. We see it again here, where Theon can hear a voice on the wind and then seems to see Bran’s own face in the face of the weirwood tree. Once again, the voice on the wind is trying to help a loved one of Bran’s find their way back to themselves, back to home. And Theon, for all the harm he has done, is still so so loved by Bran, and loves Bran in return.
Samwell Tarly III in A Storm of Swords
Sam made a whimpery sound. “It’s not fair …” “Fair.” The raven landed on his shoulder. “Fair, far, fear.” It flapped its wings, and screamed along with Gilly. The wights were almost on her. He heard the dark red leaves of the weirwood rustling, whispering to one another in a tongue he did not know. The starlight itself seemed to stir, and all around them the trees groaned and creaked. Sam Tarly turned the color of curdled milk, and his eyes went wide as plates. Ravens! They were in the weirwood, hundreds of them, thousands, perched on the bone-white branches, peering between the leaves. He saw their beaks open as they screamed, saw them spread their black wings. Shrieking, flapping, they descended on the wights in angry clouds. They swarmed round Chett’s face and pecked at his blue eyes, they covered the Sisterman like flies, they plucked gobbets from inside Hake’s shattered head. There were so many that when Sam looked up, he could not see the moon. “Go,” said the bird on his shoulder. “Go, go, go.”
Whoever this is - it's Bran!!!! - helps to save Sam and Gilly's lives, actively tells them to run for it, and just a little bit later, Sam is around to help save Bran in turn. I think there's also something to be said for the brotherhood connection here. They refer to each other as brothers in the book because of their connection to Jon; that connection to Jon, and therefore each other, means a lot to both Sam and Bran. There's a practical reason for saving Sam here in that he can help Bran in the "present" timeline, will likely help in the future, but more than that there's an emotional bond here and it seems to me that magic runs off emotions just as assuredly as it runs off of other important stuff like blood and and sacrifice and weirwoods.
Jon Snow XII in A Storm of Swords
With a raucous scream and a clap of wings, a huge raven burst out of the kettle. It flapped upward, seeking the rafters perhaps, or a window to make its escape, but there were no rafters in the vault, nor windows either. The raven was trapped. Cawing loudly, it circled the hall, once, twice, three times. And Jon heard Samwell Tarly shout, “I know that bird! That’s Lord Mormont’s raven!” The raven landed on the table nearest Jon. “Snow,” it cawed. It was an old bird, dirty and bedraggled. “Snow,” it said again, “Snow, snow, snow.” It walked to the end of the table, spread its wings again, and flew to Jon’s shoulder. Lord Janos Slynt sat down so heavily he made a thump, but Ser Alliser filled the vault with mocking laughter. “Ser Piggy thinks we’re all fools, brothers,” he said. “He’s taught the bird this little trick. They all say snow, go up to the rookery and hear for yourselves. Mormont’s bird had more words than that.” The raven cocked its head and looked at Jon. “Corn?” it said hopefully. When it got neither corn nor answer, it quorked and muttered, “Kettle? Kettle? Kettle?” The rest was arrowheads, a torrent of arrowheads, a flood of arrowheads, arrowheads enough to drown the last few stones and shells, and all the copper pennies too.
The Night's Watch seem to take this as some sort of divine sign, and Jon's friends take it as an excellent ploy from Samwell Tarly. But when Pyp confronts Sam over it a page later, Sam completely denies it -
“I had nothing to do with the bird,” Sam insisted. “When it flew out of the kettle I almost wet myself.”
Everyone has their theories about people warging Mormont's crow of course. I think what's interesting to me here is that Jon is really wrestling with the idea of leaving the Watch for Winterfell, in which case Janos Slynt was likely to take over command. Someone like Slynt being in charge when the Long Night is coming is a bad idea, and here, Mormont's bird directly contributes to Jon staying where he needs to be - watching over the wildlings and making sure they aren't turning into Wights.
(And this is getting into my other theories here, but IF Sansa as the Girl In Grey is true, I think this is a neat sort of timeline fixing - almost as if Bran is saying “no, not yet, the pieces aren’t aligned, Jon can’t leave yet, Brienne isn’t at the Vale to get Sansa, I haven’t trained enough, Jon still keeps slapping his hands over his third eye so he can’t see, I need to give myself more time here.”)
Bran II in A Game of Thrones
But...it's not just his family and friends that I think Bran is trying to help here, and of course, if he IS the Three-Eyed Crow, he isn’t YET. What I think is going to be a big climactic part of Bran's story is self sacrifice, giving up some of his own power, his own happiness, to save others. Yes, part of this is my absolute refusal to accept Borg Hivemind Fantasy Police State King Bran in that he will say NO to the hivemind, but I think there's something magical here as well!
I think in order to access great power you need to be willing to put your own body on the line.
Jojen mentions having gotten sick with "greywater fever" shortly before his greendreams started
Dany experiences a miscarriage then literally walks into fire in order to hatch her dragons
both Beric and Catelyn have to quite literally be gruesomely murdered in order for Thoros' fire magic to work to bring them back to life
Melisandre has to physically give birth in order for her shadow assassination to work
on and on it goes. In order to be capable of great power, you can’t just have a willingness to throw someone ELSE onto the pyre but yourself as well. But Bran is pushed out of the window instead of willingly jumping. Or...
The wolfling was smarter than any of the hounds in his father’s kennel and Bran would have sworn he understood every word that was said to him, but he showed very little interest in chasing sticks…Finally he got tired of the stick game and decided to go climbing….
The wolf did as he was told. Bran scratched him behind the ears, then turned away, jumped, grabbed a low branch, and pulled himself up. He was halfway up the tree, moving easily from limb to limb, when the wolf got to his feet and began to howl.
Bran looked back down. His wolf fell silent, staring up at him through slitted yellow eyes. A strange chill went through him. He began to climb again. Once more the wolf howled. “Quiet,” he yelled. “Sit down. Stay. You’re worse than Mother.” The howling chased him all the way up the tree, until finally he jumped off onto the armory roof and out of sight.
I think this is future Bran, finally becoming the Three Eyed Crow, inside Summer. Summer shows no interest in the game and it’s only then that Bran decides to go climbing. Future Bran is sacrificing himself for the greater good - but can’t stop his mournful cry of the fate that awaits his own young self.
#valyrianscrolls#bran stark#getting on my soap box#starklings#twow speculation#ados speculation#magic in asoiaf#the winged wolf#rani attempts meta#lawyering for bran#i started writing this over a year ago alsdjflk#tbh i also did a write up bc the only 'bran is doing some light time travelling' meta i've found is in fact preston jacobs and people#that are building off of preston jacobs. and the thing is i fucking hate video format#give me a goddamn pdf or pure audio for the love of god. so i wanted a write up of this SOMEWHERE for my own reference#if nothing else!!!!!#anyways i know 'bran is a time traveler' sounds insane but 'bran can whisper through the trees even in the technical past' makes sense#i will be doing more bran posting i have had this blog over a year and i do not post about my son enough#i'm doing my fandom name thewingedwolf a disservice here#i’m basically just trying to write up all my various bran theories. i promise to post more than once a year for bran aksksjdjd#i gotta post this now or it’s gonna sit for another year so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes no there’s not
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Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.
#squiggposting#i'm too tired to like actually care about this any more#and ppl's fandom takes don't necessarily represent their IRL views#but i'm just like. oh so i see that you want to write mature stories with politics and dealing with bigotry. that's cool!#now do it in a way that actually refutes bigotry and makes some sort of attempt at resolution#bc 'oh humans are just as bad and evil so it's fine if we colonize them' isn't the pro-con take ppl think it is lkdsfjlsdkfs#honestly this is what john barber got right in his story even tho the politics in his became overbearing#at least he's like the one dude who rightfullly pointed out 'uhhh organics have history with cybertronians that makes them very justified#'in not trusting them'#but my mistake is expecting the average 'con fan to disengage from the 'revolution' part to talk about the racism and imperialism lmao#if ppl weren't cowards they would be able to write characters as problematic and bigots and imperialists#but still show their humanity and point out how the cycle of retribution needs to end at some point#and how killing everyone who ever did anything bad (esp for a race as long lived as theirs) isnt a sustainable model of society#that's my PROBLEM man like stop being COWARDS acknowledge that your heroes can be shitty ppl#instead of framing things as good guys vs bad guys and then framing absolution as being only for the good guys#what if good and bad didn't exist and we were all shitty in some way and none of us inherently deserve forgiveness. what then#what if you wrote a story where you had to deal with the reality of rehabilitating ppl who have genuinely done horrible things#what if you wanted to rehabilitate society but realized the majority of ppl in it are monsters. what then?#do you only extend forgiveness and peace to the ppl who got thru with no moral compromises?#do you want to kick the majority/almost all of your race to the curb and give them no mercy/second chances?#what if ppl wrote stories where sociopolitical issues had no good/bad guys and no easy solutions#what if ppl had the courage and ethical fortitude to say 'everyone here sucks actually'#anyways sorry for the rant
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as i've rewatched seasons 1 and 2 of supernatural i've been pondering and hypothesizing reasons why john was so adamant on not letting sam know about his destiny. why he was so intent on keeping this secret, why he didn't want sam knowing about monsters, why his role in their hunts appeared to be research-oriented and thus away from the action. my perspective on ignorance and censorship is that it enables further harm, so if john were going to effectively protect sam, it would stand to reason that sam should have a comprehensive understanding of his destiny and what he's up against: give him the tools to fight.
this is obviously not the route john went, so then i have to question why that is—what about censorship was so appealing to him that he thought it not only the best way to keep sam safe, but perhaps even the only way to keep him safe, based on how he begged even dean to keep sam's fate a secret from him in his final words?
so i got to thinking. namely, about the fact that azazel wants sam to be hunting: he killed jessica with the intent to drag him back into the life, which implies that if sam is hunting, he is going down the path azazel wants him to go—he's following his destiny. this aligns with the everpresent theme throughout season 1 that hunting is a monstrous lifestyle, that hunting turns people into monsters. if sam is destined to become a monster, then hunting is the most sure-fire way to get him there.
if azazel wants sam to hunt, then john would need to take the logical opposition and keep sam out of hunting—so, he wouldn't tell sam about monsters until he has to, he'd give sam more passive roles once sam is participating in hunts, he'd train sam in self-defense but not explain why. and importantly, he wouldn't talk about mary, who is the root cause of this lifestyle, the impetus for their revenge quest, more than he has to. if the goal is to keep sam as far away from hunting as possible, and if john is someone who thinks ignorance keeps someone safe, then this more or less explains most of how sam was raised: on the fringes of the family, excluded and sheltered.
but weirdly enough, it wasn't until i was reading east of eden the other night that i finally understood the perspective being presented: late in the novel, the character lee says "when the first innocence is gone, you can't stop."
it made me remember that sam picks. he is a character who wants to understand the world around him and his place in it. if something is bothering him, he turns it over in his head until it consumes him. dean places doubt in sam's head in 2x10 and it obliterates him by 2x11. he's convinced he's going to become some horrible monster because he never stops thinking and trying to figure things out. when his memory is wiped in 4x17 and normal guy sam wesson finds out his coworker is the guy from his weird dreams, he pursues him relentlessly until they're back hunting. when he discovers the wall death put in his mind to keep his hell trauma out in season 6, he pushes and can't stop until it starts crumbling around him. he's intelligent and clever and he wants to know everything. and when he doesn't know, he picks.
and the only way to stop a person like that from picking is to not let them know that there's something to pick at in the first place. that's what the quote from east of eden means: once you catch wind of something, you want to pursue it until you're satisfied. curiosity kills the cat.
and what john is up against is fate itself. something that isn't supposed to be messed with, something that's supposed to be unavoidable. so trying to thwart it is tricky business. he has to be careful.
i think working under that logic his response makes sense, even if it wound up being a self-fulfilling prophecy anyway—sam was always going to find out, and sam was always going to pick. there was nothing john could do in the end to stop it, and trying to keep sam ignorant only made him that much more desperate to know. but that's the great tragedy of it all: john was given an impossible choice, and he's a deeply flawed character. he did what he thought was best, and it only made things worse.
i like this interpretation because it ties all of john's choices together really well; it explains a lot about his character and gives a nuanced and rather reasonable explanation for why he did what he did: a dad who wants the best for his kid does what he believes will set him up on the path to success. when the first innocence is gone, you can't stop—so john does his damnedest to keep sam innocent, even to his dying breath.
the problem comes down to that someone's damnedest isn't always good enough, and that sometimes someone's damnedest ends up benefiting the enemy instead.
#supernatural#liveblogging: supernatural#sam winchester#john winchester#there's also a chicken-or-egg conflict here: was sam a picker and that's why john kept him ignorant or did john's actions make him a picker#which is more or less irrelevant to the actions john took but it is an interesting thing to consider#also i love how often john is paralleled with azazel and how he comes to represent sam and dean's fate just as much as him#because it represents that even his attempt to work against azazel's plan only ended up steering them both down the path of destiny instead#it's a really interesting issue. john is a fascinating character and i love exploring his psychology#but anyway this is my favorite interpretation of the evidence bc it doesn't contradict canon anywhere that i can find#it maintains that john was trying to do right by his kids and gives a logical explanation for why he hurt them instead#i didn't really understand the perspective until i read that line tho. i had already hypothesized it but i didn't *understand* it#but it all clicked for me and now everything makes sense. so thanks john steinbeck for writing a novel adaption of supernatural#or whatever#spn1#spn2#spn posting#.txt
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here's a return to sunfall (and blazon arch and the two carja gates near it)! the mod has been updated so there were no more endless loading screens when i recorded this :D makes exploring much more fun!
i'm not as excited about this thumbnail but it took a lot of super annoying work to set up so here's a(n unfortunately small) version without text:
#horizon forbidden west#hfw#out of bounds exploration#hfw out of bounds#video#also sorry to write a book in the tags but:#honestly i am very Done with this video. i had So. Many. Issues.#trying to get a recording as smooth as what i see in gameplay (fail). not falling off of things while recording (took 3 attempts lol)#getting the tallneck facing the right direction (several tries)#uploaded to yt and got a copyright warning(?) from sony because of music. wtf! it was just what plays in the game?!?#yt basically said “you're allowed to use it but the copyright owner can change their mind at any time” so#i tried to re-edit that section and ended up rendering the final video FOUR MORE TIMES bc a track was missing or off by a few miliseconds#and THEN i had to upload it to yt AGAIN which takes *literal hours*#so anyway fuck this video lmao#but i put a tallneck in it tho so that's nice#oh and i was able to get close to the leafcutter ants :)#hfw pc#(remove reload boundary mod)
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like okay the thing is. the show is about characters who were hunting each other and eating each other in the wilderness so i just think. well. it was never gonna have a nat arc that tells her you're okay baby and your life has value sweetheart. like if it was a different show and nat simply had struggles with drugs and suicidal ideation because of the shit that happened with her abusive father and stuff and then she ultimately died tragically while trying to recover that could really be quite questionable but like. that's not the story? she wasn't getting better she was getting into a cult. that was led by the unstable old friend she was in a cannibal cult with before. she wasn't getting better she was getting into a cult mentality that's why her behavior was so strange people were thinking she's manipulating lottie when in fact she was just getting indoctrinated
i do NOT think it was meant to be a "redemption arc" either like i've seen people say. i do not think it was supposed to FEEL like redemption that's why it DIDN'T. you weren't supposed to be tearing up like oh but with this death she made up for everything they did out there. she never could! none of them ever can! it's not about that. i think it's supposed to be tragic in a preventable way to parallel jackie's death in a way. a different set of circumstances allowed her to survive in the wilderness and doomed her in the present. she saw a moose and brought people to the lake to make a hole in the ice and pull out the moose. the ice wasn't as strong in that place which is probably why javi stepping on there broke the ice. and she was gonna save javi but misty stopped her. and this time misty found her and called for everyone to come because she was there and nat's visions at lottie's cult set off the chain of events. and this time misty's attempt to save her just led to her death instead. nat's attempt to save lisa's life led to nat losing hers like javi's attempt to save nat's life led to javi losing his
#like totally there with you abt pacing or how many different changes to the script and editing could make this better#or how it felt like a bit too early to kill a modern timeline survivor but tbh i think probably juliette didnt want to stay on the show#i think she has a habit of not staying for long#but she wasnt getting better and sadly i do not think any of those characters are getting a happy ending#she was never gonna be allowed to recover#one of my literal issues is the walter bullshit bc it attempts to? what? insinuate there os someone they think#is*#is perfect for misty and she can live a life where she has Connection and Mutual Love#which! no she cant#in part bc he was never THERE#get rid of walter#anyways none of them are gonna get a happy ending#if modern timeline writing improves it will just mean things will get much worse for them all imo#echoing nat's words to jackie abt her being lucky bc things will get worse#like that maybe she was lucky to die first in the modern timeline bc things will get worse#anyway#thinking!#yellowjackets spoilers#yellowjackets blogging#nat
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NOTE: please do NOT select "other" to indicate any character from The Prisoner -- that poll has come and gone! This is the even-more-niche poll I made for my own enjoyment and this is my one request!!
If you want to read about Adrienne, she features in most of my FFXIV works, but I think this, this, and this give pretty good insight into her character (just the individual one-shot chapters not the whole thing!!!!)
If you want to read about Senna and Abigail, that's here!
If you want to read about Tamsin and Althea you'll have to root around in my blog and pray (jk it's at least mildly organized here! moving it to a wordpress blog soon)
If you want to read about Raya, she features in this!
#you did not see the first attempt i have never made a mistake in my life#soooooooooooo badly wanted to put some other characters on here#even tho LITERALLY NO ONE knows about them LOL#i am just rotating them in my mind can you not feel the microwaves?????????#anyway this was already fun bc i got to think about my little characters :)#incentive to vote is uhmmmmm i would like it 🥺#personal#exciting tag for writing things
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taking a little break from writing for a few days to cool down the brain but first... yaad&thistle au fic preview under the cut. this is clocking in at 12k atm, i haven't finished drafting all the scenes yet, but i am deeply enjoying this one.
#context: yaad Attempts Diplomacy. thistle finds this offensive. curses him to be an old man in a petty fit.#(side note thistle here is sort of in between his pre-dungeon self and his far-gone dungeon lord self)#however in this au he's in exile and trying to curry favor with delgal which means playing nice with his grandson#so now he's like ah shit that was. random. <3 i can undo it <33 you didnt tell grandpa about this did you#yaad should get a little fed up as an old man. as a treat#they're incredibly fun to write so far... the thing is they do resonate on a similar wavelength once they reach a point of civility#theyve got this shared Servant Of The People mentality it's just a matter of finding common ground wrt how to effectively go about that#thistle runs the world but yaad governs it too (delgal is um. comatose) so. figure it out. chop chop#once they do hit that stride though it's like unclogging your windpipe. kind of nice#that aside their experiences and struggles overlap sm it's so ripe for exploration#lots of scenes discussing Adult Matters while playing house like kids with dolls#not rlly knowing how to make sense of their lives and the world around them bc they have no healthy/Real frame of reference#(psychological trauma?? in MY golden country??? it's normal to constantly dissociate but okay)#but knowing for certain that they have Obligations and duties to fulfill... theyre doing their best your honor#i'm such a thistle & yaad shill rn i think i mightve come off as a hater in another post but oughh they are Everything#anyway tangent over i just needed to yap a bunch before my 2 day break shfjkhkf#roomba writes#dungeon meshi fic#thistle & yaad#thistle#yaad
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“She’s tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me”😤😤😤
(Regency AU with Eloise and Sebastian inspired by my slow trek through Bridgerton these days & @bassicallymaestra ‘s AMAZING regency inspired art😮💨😇🙏)
#I just have a love of big regency dresses what can I say😔🙏#if you haven’t seen them yet this is a study of the GORGEOUS P&P illustrations from the 1890s by Charles Brock#they are all just so spectacular & I stare at them alllllllllll the time wishing I had an ounce of his talent🙏🙏🙏#so I do these studies to pretend even though I change some things😅😅 bc these studies is the best way to improve imo🙏#but I remembered halfway through why I rage quit trying to draw with my fountain pen a year ago😂😂😂#that thing is amazing for writing and I love it like a child#but drawing?! tbh I should have used my drawing ink pen but whatever#I woke up with a hankering to do some crosshatching (which I hate) in an attempt to get over myself#also!!!!!! when Mr Darcy says something like that it’s no wonder Elizabeth jumps at the bit to believe every awful thing she hears about him#it’s like Mr wickham’s dumb stories that nobody else in their right mind would believe#are speaking right to her soul. like OF COURSE that asshole from the assembly would do all of those things😤😤#he called me ugly so OF COURSE he would deny mr wickham his living😤😤#(I don’t blame her I would do the same🤝🤝)#ALSO why tf did he even say that when he’s clearly smitten from the beginning#I’m sure if he knew that she heard him he would simply perish from mortification#well thst is my p&p - inking horror - inspiration rant of the day��🙏#(I read p&p at least once a year & it is the only fanfic I really read😅😅😅)#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise#eloise babbit#regency au
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i am confusing kali and durga but you did make design of fgo her right? can i ask you to repost it bc i scoured your archive and i still cant find it
It was kali! The actual post is here but I’ll post some of the pictures here as well
I’ve been planing on doing proper ascension-like art for her for a while now, just haven’t found the time between work and making my normal content for the blog ;v;
#tbh she is pulling from multiple versions of k/ali#more in line with a specific interpretation of her through shaktism#as a form of adi sha/kti#/mahadevi-which if I understand correctly in shakti/sm specifically puts her more at the level of Bra/hman#as the supreme ultimate reality of existence (bra/hman the principle not the god)#so she’s the source of all creation/it’s embodiment/the energy that animates it/and that which it dissolves into#and yeah I went with this in part bc I was so annoyed w how they made par/vati -_-#look if we can have characters be the personification of planets then the personification of the cosmic force of the universe should be doom#I’ve like. thought abt how to work it into nasuverse#it’s like ka/li is one form of the main goddess who’s like the universe#similar to how ameratsu can send out bunreis on a larger scale#except in this case it’s more like ort w the planet thing only on this case it’s the universe#I’m not explaining this well but it made sense to me lmao#basically#the servant form is an avatar of kali in that it’s less powerful than her#and kali is also mahadevi#who is the universe#‘what’s par/vatis deal then?’ she got overzealous making her servant vessel and overcorrected#ik I’m not explaining this well I attempted to write lore for her ONCE and exploded#she’s interesting tho. she tends to be impartial (except w kids) but represents change and destruction#and is constantly updating and changing her views based on her children (followers) world#(like with the sacrifice thing which is interesting bc I’ve seen things saying she never wanted human sacrifice but it DID still happen)#she requires sacrifice which often nowadays is interpreted to mean things like negative energy and the like#or like the sacrifice of your ‘ego’#she’s also a goddess associated with anger#idk I’m getting all over the place again which happens when I start#getting into it lmao#my asks
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work colleague (the one who I'm working on a project with, who was supposed to be showing me the ropes - which she already barely did - who is supposed to be a superior while our boss is on parental leave) told me that I need to join the team leader meeting next week "so things dont escalate again" bc apparently her temper got the best of her (she told me this herself btw, which.. jfc)
and I feel SO uncomfortable at even the idea of that thats I've been feeling sick to my stomach over it since Friday. I'm still an intern ffs, I don't get paid to do her job, which is to explain what we're doing and to explain why we're doing it. I didn't decide on making this a whole thing, and I certainly didn't sign up to take her place while she throws me to the wolves (clinic admins who are pissed that change is being introduced to how they've been running things for years)
I know I need to address it, and at least tell my boss, I feel like shit reaching out to him while he's supposed to be on leave, but if I don't push back and give in now when there's also so many other ways she's been dodging her responsibilities then idk.
she barely communicates which is the basis for working with anybody, and even when *I* reach out she barely ever replies and leaves me hanging, unable to progress in certain tasks just bc I *literally* don't know shit yet bc I've been working there for a total of two and a half months max. just.. boss guy would be happy for me to stay on but honestly that lady has as bad a temper and worse social skills than the lady who made my last job hell enough that I was out of commission for almost three years, first on sick leave and then in various rehab/therapy programs just to make it back to being able to work again.. I really don't want to go down this road again
so I guess I do need to write this all down tomorrow in a message to him and hopefully he'll at least acknowledge that this is a shit situation to put me in and have a talk with her. but idk tbh. not sure what to do if he asks me to still join that group meeting on Friday, also terrified of her reaction if he does bring it up with her, ngl
last time she got "upset" she didn't talk to me for a whole day, didn't reply to my message before I left for 5 weeks and then still didn't leave a single message to explain where to continue in our project before being gone herself for another 2 and a half weeks.. that kind of childish pettiness idk. really don't want to have to keep dealing with her
lazy colleagues idk sure it's frustrating cleaning up after them, but this kind of behaviour is as close to intolerable as things get before I need to get myself the fuck away for good
#anyway. sorry for the long post#I also already wrote a note for myself with what to bring up when I write that message tomorrow#but I keep half-talking myself out of it bc it's hard to rationally quantify the terror I feel at dealing with behaviour like that#like.. I know part of it is past trauma response. but there are very rational reasons why this behaviour shouldn't be tolerated#and still I feel like he might decide that I'm more trouble than I'm worth or that it's not worth dealing with her moods#he knows the whole group has issues with her. I'm sure they've brought it up plenty of times to him so this isn't news#which makes me think that he either gave up or doesn't know how to handle it either#either way.. if my attempt of asking for help leads nowhere then idk what I'll do. prob not stay post internship for one thing#which sucks bc I love the work we do and the rest of the team#fuck#a day in the life of..#sorry. just needed to write down my thoughts again bc I ready know this'll keep me up and give me stress dreams tonight#I've done what I can to distract myself but my mind keeps wandering and my chest hurts
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So I don’t condone the usage of ai in regards to art or writing, since it takes away the soul and the whole purpose of creating the piece of work. However, I saw a couple videos of Novel AI creating some unhinged shit, so I got curious. This is almost certainly gonna be the only time I ever use this program, and it’s literally for curiosity sake.
Anything in brackets is what I have pasted in (coming from bits and pieces of my oneshots)
[Kremy can’t pinpoint the exact moment his feelings for Gideon turned romantic, nor could he pinpoint the moment his crush burned into love. What he could pinpoint, however, was when Kremy himself acknowledged that he loved the genasi.]
It had been a week or two since the gang had taken care of the problem with the dragon, and Gideon had insisted on accompanying him and his family on their trip to the nearby market. Kremy wasn't entirely sure why he had insisted on coming, but he couldn't say he minded. In fact, he was enjoying it a lot. He had gotten to spend the day with his friend, and now he was watching him interact with his family, and it was...adorable, really.
Gideon was the perfect example of a gentleman, always holding doors and helping the ladies cross the street. Kremy found it endearing and heartwarming. He didn't know what was up with the genasi, but it was nice to see him acting so polite and friendly towards his family. His mother adored him.
"He's such a nice boy," she said. "He'd make a fine suitor."
"Ma," Kremy laughed. "That's not what he's here for."
"I know," she said. "Just letting you know, you could do worse."
Kremy just chuckled, shaking his head and leading her to another shop. They had been at the market for hours now, and the sun was beginning to set. Gideon was in a deep conversation with his sister about a book they were both reading, while Kremy and his mother perused the selection of clothing.
"Are you going to buy something?" his mother asked.
"I don't know," Kremy replied. "It's getting late, and I don't have that much gold."
"Hmm," his mother mused.
[Kremy shouldn’t have felt jealous. He was the one who put the whole plan in motion, after all.] The one who suggested bringing Gideon along. But here he was, staring at the two of them, his sister and Gideon, the pair talking excitedly about their book. And it just felt wrong.
His sister was always the more reserved and intellectual of his siblings. She didn't get on with others that well, and didn't have many friends. She and Gideon, it seemed, got along well. Too well.
His mother had to nudge him a few times to get him moving again.
"Come on, Kre," she said. "We should probably head home. It's getting late, and your father and brother will want supper soon."
"Yeah," Kremy replied.
She was right. It was time to go home.
But he still couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy and sadness that was gnawing at his gut.
When they returned to the house, his sister and Gideon continued talking. Kremy couldn't bring himself to join them, so instead, he helped his mother with supper.
"What's wrong, Kre?" his mother asked.
"I-I'm not sure," he said.
"Something's bothering you," she stated.
"I'm not sure what," he replied.
"It's about your sister and Gideon, isn't it?"
"What?"
"You're jealous."
"Why would I be jealous? He's just a friend."
"No, you're jealous. I know that look. I wore it when my sister was talking to your father before we got married. And when she was flirting with him, and he was flirting back."
"She...what?"
"Your father never acted on it. I knew that. She did, too. But she had to try."
"Oh."
"Kremy, if you love him, tell him. If he loves you back, great. If not, well, you'll have your answer."
"Ma, he doesn't love me."
“How do you know?"
"I...don't. But why would he love me? I'm just an old half-elf with no future."
"Nonsense. You're young, and smart, and handsome, and kind. And he doesn't have to love you right away. Love takes time, and patience. But you'll never know unless you tell him."
Kremy was silent for a long moment, contemplating his mother's words.
"I'll...think about it," he said.
"Good," she smiled, kissing his cheek.
After dinner, Kremy and Gideon retired to his room, the genasi immediately sprawling on his bed and sighing contentedly.
"Man, I'm beat," he groaned.
[The way the light hit Gideon made him look so ethereally beautiful, more so than he already was.] Kremy could have stared at him forever, but he couldn't. That wasn't how the world worked.
"How come you were so quiet at supper?" Gideon asked.
"Was I?" Kremy asked, feigning innocence.
"Yeah," Gideon replied. "And you're quiet now. What's up?"
"I..."
What was he supposed to say? That he was jealous of his sister? That he was afraid Gideon would leave him for her? That he loved him?
"I'm sorry," he finally said. "I've just had a lot on my mind."
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"I...I don't think so."
"Okay."
They were silent for a moment. Kremy sat at his desk, fidgeting with his quill, unsure of what to say.
"Hey," Gideon spoke up. "What was that story your mother told us about the dragon?"
"The one about the farmer?"
"Yeah, that one."
"Oh, well, the farmer had a daughter," Kremy began.
"Yeah, she was the one who went to the dragon," Gideon added.
"Yes. She had gone to the dragon because her family was starving. She had heard that dragons were very rich, and that they might be able to help. So, she went to the dragon, and begged for its help."
"What did the dragon do?"
"The dragon agreed to help. He gave the girl and her family a year's worth of food, and then told them to never return. He was a powerful dragon, and could not be killed, but he was not cruel."
"But what did the dragon do?"
"I was getting to that," Kremy chuckled.
"Sorry."
"It's alright. Now, the girl took the food back to her family, and they were grateful. They had plenty to eat for the rest of the year, and could focus on their work.
"But then, the girl heard that a powerful wizard was traveling through the area. She thought, 'if a dragon could help, a wizard would surely be able to.' So, she left her family behind, and set out to find the wizard."
"Did she find him?"
"She did. He was a kind man, and he agreed to help the girl. He was a very powerful wizard, and had lived a long time. He knew many things.
"So, the wizard set out with the girl, and together, they found the dragon's lair. The girl begged the dragon to spare her family, but the dragon was not so merciful. He told the girl that he would not help her unless she could defeat him in battle."
"Could she?"
"She tried. She was a brave girl, and a good fighter, but she was no match for the dragon. The wizard had seen this coming, and had a plan.
"He cast a spell, and turned the girl into a giant stone statue. The dragon could not harm her, and the wizard carried her back to her family.
"The family was shocked and surprised, but they were also grateful. They thanked the wizard, and the wizard promised to visit the family once a year to check on them."
"Wow," Gideon breathed. "That's quite a story."
"Yeah," Kremy murmured.
"Do you think the girl was happy?" Gideon asked.
"Huh?"
"In the story, was the girl happy?"
"I think she was. She got to save her family, and she didn't have to worry about them ever again."
"That's good," Gideon sighed.
There was silence for a long moment.
"Kremy, are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah," he replied, looking over at the genasi.
"Are you sure? You've been acting strange all day. Did something happen?"
"N-No," Kremy stuttered.
Gideon frowned, getting up from the bed and crossing the room. He sat down next to the half-elf, his brow furrowed with concern.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I'm fine," Kremy mumbled.
"You're not. Something's bothering you, I can tell."
"No, I'm fine."
"Kremy, please. Talk to me."
"Gid..."
"Please."
"It's nothing."
"Kremy."
"Okay, fine. You're going to think it's stupid."
"I doubt that."
"I...I'm jealous."
"Jealous? Of who?"
"You and my sister."
"What? Why would you be jealous of us?"
"Because," Kremy sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I-I love you, Gid. And I know you don't feel the same way, but I just can't stop thinking about you, and I can't stand the idea of losing you."
"Losing me? To your sister?"
"I-I'm not making any sense, am I?"
"Not really."
"I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have said anything."
"No, it's okay. I'm glad you told me."
"You are?"
"Of course. Kre, I...I love you, too."
"Y-You do?"
"Yeah. For a while, actually."
"Really?"
"Mhm."
"But I'm just a boring, old half-elf. You could have anyone you wanted."
"Yeah, I could," Gideon replied. "But I want you."
#that’s where I cut it off bc I realized this post got really long lol#this is technically the third attempt at this#bc I was trying to figure out which lines I wanted to use#but the first attempt was pretty good#wish I went with that one#second one…not so much?#it made Kremy an ogre and deleted Gid from the thing#tho it didn’t go past 2 clicks so idk#no I do not condone the use of ai for actual writing or art#i actually got this idea from someone on Wattpad from like a year ago#who took bits of their fics and made the ai fill in the missing pieces#and it ended up significantly more unhinged than mine did#and as interesting as this was#I doubt I’ll do this again (unless I have lines from my fics that I feel like can make a wildly unhinged story)#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#ouaw
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