#bc the guy it was with was horrible to me after
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despite the current state of things, good things have in fact happened. if they’ve happened in the past, they can and they will happen again.
#today has been rough#really rough#but good things have happened#and i really need to focus on the good things and the joy i’ve experienced#and not let myself get bogged down in all of these negative thoughts#i was reading a fic where two characters had their first kiss#and bc of my mental state i was immediately like well doesn’t it fucking suck that my first kiss was ruined#bc the guy it was with was horrible to me after#except that’s not true!!!!!! that’s not true!!!!! it’s not and i can’t let myself think like that#i had an incredible first kiss#it doesn’t matter what happened after it was a good thing#and i do that all the time like i can’t ever let myself acknowledge the good things bc idk ig i think somehow it might invalidate the bad#and that’s a horrible habit#anyways maybe the tags should be on priv but i do think if i needed the reminder maybe other people do too#reminders#personal
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making a collection
making another collection with a threatening aura
#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo#HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn.#luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!!#what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there#FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :(#one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend#usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase#nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls#i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki#luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg#cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy#zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over#zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn#komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom#luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk#it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also#was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up???#'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!'#flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe#zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her#that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme#fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems#foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests#now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby#the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies#kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs
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#I don't post things like this often nor do I want to#But I am FILLED with derision after seeing a post (second-hand thru a mutual) commented on by a guy I don't care for#bc after he ghosted me I found out he's the same guy who briefly dated and said horrible things about a good friend of mine#Talking about the hardships of having to leave the state we both lived in bc the political climate was too dangerous to stay#And the petty part of my brain can't stop/won't stop trying to say#'well guess what? I'm still here BITCHBOY.'#And on the one hand it feels viscerally satisfying and on the other I hate that I haven't let go of these feelings
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Unfriendly reminder that Percy might have told Bob that he was a giant and given him the choice to keep going in full honesty — Annabeth herself gave that possibility as much consideration as the one about him manipulating Bob, and there's as much basis for Percy being too kind and forgiving as there is for him being calculating.
#PJO#hoo#Percy Jackson#Bob pjo#House of Hades#I'm gonna set this as a monthly reminder#''tell me one time op!'' when he spared Polyphemus TWICE. when he gave the fleece to Clarisse. when he saved Ethan.#literally THEE climax of pjo is him giving a chance to redeem himself to a guy who'd betrayed everyone and tried to destroy everything#and was currently struggling for control of his own body against an incredibly powerful genocidal titan#these are off the top of my head and more are complicated bc no one thinks it might be naive to trust your friends too much but he's done t#when he let Annabeth who'd been horrible to him so far to come along on his quest. when he encouraged Grover to go after Pan in botl.#when he went after Nico to protect him even though he thought he wanted to kill him.#when he used his wish to get forgiveness for the minor gods who's sided with Kronos to try to end human civilization.#when he spoke up for Hades who'd tried to kill him multiple times.
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I would say I have no explanation for this, but uh. I really do. Behold: the first ideas for a Terror IndyCar AU that has possessed me for the last 36 straight hours. It would not leave me alone until I put some of it to paper.
Behold: Crozier as an established, relatively liked, if cynical, driver, upstart rookie James Fitzjames, and Hickey, who is, as always, totally normal and not causing problems.
The art is rushed, but I needed to purge the demons as fast as I could
#i have never drawn hickey before. its not good but I'm tired.#as always my sketches look better than the final. it's fine. im not annoyed. not at all.#anyway. today? an AU nobody hut me ever asked for and debatably nobody else wants. tomorrow? the same.#thought i was clever for making Hickey's sponsor be a vodka company after Crozier gets sober#could Not come up with a suitable sponsor for JFJ. too tired.#in my head silna is a very competent canadian driver on crozier and jfj's team#goodsir is on the pit crew for silna most of the time. stanley is the lead mechanic#runs their shop like it's the goddamn navy and nobody ever knows if he's happy with things.#blanky is either a manager or the guy to talks to drivers on team radio during races#anyway if i ever do anything like this i plan to have crozier ultimately win a 4th 500#but only after james has a horrible crash that ends his season and many press people think will end his career#just so he can kiss francis at victory circle#look. i have very little to say for myself aside from the fact that i have been going to the indy 500 since i was 7 years old.#almost 20 years ago#and the IMS and indycar is very important to me. one of the few sports i care about and want to follow more.#so. uh. yeah. watch this space bc it will probably keep bothering me bc I Need It.#(also very silly but i tried to make crozier and james's drivers suits have shoulder shapes like epaulettes. i thought that was fun)#again sorry for the quality but i drew all of this in like 4 hours today. i am a woman Possessed.#anyway im gonna crawl back into my cringe hole. see y'all#the terror
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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Ok I'm thinking about kabuto backstory again and thinking about how unfair and fucked up it all is like
> be Danzo
> threaten local orphanage mother into returning to being a spy (by threatening the kids there)
> force them to send One Kid too because he "lost a man" while obtaining the intel he's threatening her to spy over (the kid is Kabuto, who volunteered bc he overheard them threatening the mother over this) (Danzo knows he overheard)
> train kabuto to be a spy while orphanage mother is off on her long spy job as well
> bait spy mom with the promise of keeping kabuto safe to keep her agreeing to work with you
> decide they both are too good at their jobs (????) Of being spies (that work for you?????)(they've been loyal this whole time????) So they're too dangerous and both need to die
> keep mom and kid away from each other as kid grows up
> literally DOCTOR FAKE PHOTOS of the kid growing up to make it seem like he looks totally different now???? So she won't recognize him?????
> give her the assassination assignment of killing the Real Kabuto (who she won't recognize) so they'll kill each other
> whoops, Kabuto survived and killed her instead, oh well at least Orochimaru's watching him now
I'm just like. How fucked up is it to threaten these people into working as spies for you "for the good of Konoha", and then decide that these people (who have given NO INDICATION of intending to betray Konoha) are too good at being spies and thus Too Dangerous and should be killed for it. But no he can't just kill them in a normal way. He had to manufacture an entire scenario so that they'd kill EACH OTHER while making the mom not recognize him (with the express purpose of breaking the kid's spirit) like BROOOOOO I know you ordered the whole Uchiha clan to be massacred (conducting genocide for the sake of 'peace') actually now that I think about it he ordered this of itachi. Ordered him to kill his own family. Of course Danzo would get off on making a mother and son kill each other "for the good of Konoha" he's almost fucking cartoon villain level of horrible past the point of logic EXCEPT there really are people this awful that have existed. Plenty of them. And they have also justified it as being "for the good of [nation]" like that's the Thing, he's a war hungry nationalist that has decided He Knows Best so he's going to fuck up SO many people's lives, up to and including his own damn citizens!!!! And this bitch thinks he deserves to be kage?!?!?! Fucking Hiruzen letting him run wild like this. He knew Danzo was stealing children and indoctrinating them into a murder cult (where, keep in mind, he purposefully raises kids in pairs so they view each other as family AND THEN ORDERS THEM TO KILL EACH OTHER)(AGAIN!!!! with the family killing, what is his PROBLEM) but Hiruzen just let it fucking happen. Spineless fucking piece of shit. He fucked Naruto up he fucked Orochimaru up he fucked up Royally with Danzo like come ONNNNNNNNNN
Rattling the bars of my cage rn at how awful Danzo is and how he was able to just. DO THIS???? I know the bitch is dead but he's not dead enough. Give me the glock.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#sorry im just losing my mind over this. this changes EVERYTHING with kabuto#and you know i already hated danzo so much. but i just now realized his fucking obsession with making family members kill each other#it's probably for the sake of 'killing their emotions' which he sees as necessary to become a good ninja (*cough* a good tool for the state)#im kicking danzo's head in as we speak. the skull. or whatever was left after he exploded. probably nothing much actually.#it's not good enough I NEED TO KILL HIM SO BADDDDD HE NEEDS TO BE DOUBLE DEAD TRIPLE DEAD#QUADRUPLE OR PERHAPS EVEN INFINITY DEAD.#sets up an infinite time loop of me killing Danzo just to make sure hes super super super super dead#YELLING SCREAMING I HATE DANZO SO MUCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#honestly as much as i loved sasuke killing danzo i wish itd happened later.#bc danzo's stinky fingers were in so many pies. he was set up as this horrible mastermind#and then he dies... what... 2/5ths into shippuden?? and what do we have now. cringefail sadboy decided to kill the world for his fantasies?#weird alien goddess?? bc all the world's struggles were clearly bc of an alien instead of any human fault???? or something?????#idk i havent gotten that far yet. but thats what ive gathered from online.#for as wonderful of characters as kishimoto writes he really isnt that great at overall plot.#compelling world. fascinating interactions. cool fights and mechanics.#unfortunately he set up a guy to be a big bad and he died before even halfway through and now we have to watch several hundred episodes#of the most Ninjas One Upping Each Other In Make Believe plotlines ever#like the 'i hit you' 'well i have a shield that blocks hits' 'well i hit you with a sword that cuts through anything'#'well i cast a spell before you hit me that makes me invulnerable to attacks' etc etc COME ON MAN it gets so BORING.#i miss the good old days of sakura fighting sasori. now shes sidelined to the medic tents bc shes a poor vulnerable medic or w/e#idk some parts of this is cool. but so much of it is unsatisfying. like the bijuu battle??? come on.#naruto making friends with kurama was great. the fight with all the jinchuuriki was pretty boring.#like come on this is supposed to be a Big Deal. aaaand what do we have now? another fucking bijuu bomb.#oh wait theyre all casting the bijuu bomb together!!! no worries naruto is making a bijuu bomb of the same exact size#so they counteract and shoot into the stratosphere and theres a Big Boom! wow! so original!#yawn. yawn especially at the madara vs kages fight. at least im enjoying the uchiha bros vs kabuto fight.
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one day i will properly compare dee made a smut film and ptsdee and the differences in the way they handle their very similar subject material but i have shit to do early tomorrow morning so. for now.
do you ever think about how RCG-written episodes, no matter how bad (both character morality-wise and writing-wise) they get, will always have a degree of humanity to them. like. 11x04 has dee doing something that is So incredibly wrong and horrible to dennis. but the reactions to it don't match its intensity. 12x07 again has dee doing something absolutely fucking deranged, and the gang tells her how fucked up it was. there's actually an acknowledgement both from her and from the others that what she did was awful, but her motivation, charlie, dennis, frank and mac's motivations throughout the episode make sense. dee's insecurity is the root of it, she can't handle being someone's "rock bottom", and she needs to prove that it can get worse. 11x04 dee just decides she's going to be a bastard and tell everyone that dennis was raped at 14. we don't know why she does this, and she really has no reason to, other than to be an asshole.
#cw rape mention#cw csa mention#ada speaks#i was like. lowkey sick to my stomach after smut film bc like. jesus christ#i think glenn's acting carried and many scenes in that ep live in my brain rent free#but ptsdee does what smut film did SO much fucking better in every possible way#like yes it had to be established previously to work#but. as an episode i just think smut film is extremely weak on the dennis and dee half of it#iconic episode for frank but jesus christ the contrast between both halves makes me die#rcg has always had this. 'yes these are terrible people but they Are People' vibe#that i think a lot of guest writers misunderstand#its not just a show about horrible people doing horrible things#its about those horrible people being UNAWARE of how horrible they are#they still believe they're Good. they are just unbelievably bad at being good.#like when the guys argue over whether or not they can call the israeli businessman 'the j word'#its about. the arbitrary rules they put in place. oh you cant call him a 'jew' THAT way. that's anti semitic bro.#they are capable of recognizing when something is fucked up and occasionally engage in self reflection#the thing is. theyre selfish. and they do it anyway.
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oohhh royal knight in training subaru and prince hokke oohhghh
#they have been in my mind can you guess#but like listen#mr akehoshi died in a war led by seiya(king) 10 years ago and now subaru is following the steps of his father#so seiya has a soft spot for him although subaru hates the monarchy for that and onlydoes that bc its the best high income job he can do to#support his mother#also hokke just despises his monarchy duties and one day he is going out of the castle by himself and subaru is like what is this idiot doin#and subaru is like 'Hey you dumbass! where are you going on your own?' and hokke is like 'dont you know who i am? learn some manners before#speaking to me!!' and subaru is like 'of course i know who you are! you are stealing my horse where the hell are you going you clown of a#prince!!!!!!#and hokke ignores him but he actually doesnt know what he is doing so subaru just runs behind him#and after a while hokke gives up and explains that he doesn't want to be a prince so he decided to escape and subaru is like ?? this guy??#and concludes it must be a rebellious phase because he was borned with a silver spoon and just wants to create problems for himself#so he tells him that the life outside the palace is horrible and hokke should appreaciate his life more. everyone would want to be the princ#hokke thinks for a moment and concludes that no. subaru is wrong. and subaru is starting to get annoyed so he sends hokke to the palace#(but in their argument he acutally stole some jewelry of hokke so he sells those to help shinonon the poor guy selling milk and newspaper#and the next day hokke goes to him like 'you stole from me give them back' and subaru is like 'i thought you wouldnt notice. you dont need#them anyway'#and they start arguing again.#chiaki (subaru's knight trainer) sees them and later says to subaru that they seem close#and subaru is like 'no we dont!! he is a selfish jerk who only thinks of himself!' and chiaki thinks he is the only person subaru has gotten#close to#bc hokke doesn't like interacting with guards or maids or anything that has to do with the castle either#so chiaki is like me thinks#so they keep doing sbhk shenanigans and they mutually warm up to each other#at one point hokke brings jewels to subaru personally so he can sell them in the city and sometimes subaru bri#subaru brings hokke to the city in some of their getaways. normal citicens dont know he is the prince just some noble bc of his clothes and#good manners. which subaru doesnt have.#at some point hokke is impressed by subaru's knowledge and he confesses that his father used to steal books from the royal library and then#thought him and his mother and it makes hokke think that they are quite similar#mr hidaka seiya is pretty glad hokke is getting along with subaru since he appreciated mr akehoshi a lot
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yesterday, i learned that one of my acquaintances from church is like, gleefully and unreservedly supportive of the gazan genocide despite going to a church where every sermon for the past few weeks has been about the horrors and tragedy of said genocide. like, i could not fucking believe how hilarious he seemed to think it is that innocent palestinians are dying, just grinning and laughing and shaking his head and rolling his eyes when my pastor and i expressed horror at the innocent people being killed. just remembering it makes me choke up with anger.
anyway, i'm going to be very stupid and try to talk to him about it this coming sunday. i'll use all my teacherly tricks to try and gently lead him to feel one single scrap of empathy for the victims of israel's civilian massacre, but lbr: he'll probably respond with the same amount of glee and condescension as last night and it's going to end with me making me a scene at church.
but i know i shouldn't. so here are some things i should NOT say, no matter how angry he makes me:
i've always hated the sound of your voice, even before you said such horrible things. you say everything with such condescension. when you read the gospels in church, i have to hide my face behind my program to hide my grimacing. you make the words of christ himself sound like a grift of some oily used car dealer who thinks he's smarter than he actually is. i pity you for going through life with such a voice, and pity you even more for thinking it charming.
it baffles me that you'd allow something as basically human as compassion for the suffering of others to be so utterly sanded away by propaganda. it's pathetic that you could laugh at innocents dying. you've let yourself be lobotomized by a clumsy surgeon and style yourself wise with the icepick still sticking from your skull.
i've always thought your face looks like an easter island head sculpted from a raw chicken breast.
see? none of those would be productive, no matter how truly they express my feelings about this person.
thus: people of faith, pray that god grants me the wisdom and restraint to not light this motherfucker up in the middle of coffee hour. amen.
#vent post#personal post#this happened last night and i thought i'd feel less angry in the morning but NOPE#still incandescent about it#sometimes i think i'm a very self-righteous and unforgiving person#bc i can't seem to do the thing other people do where they can just chalk things like this up to a difference in opinion and remain friends#when someone is cruel‚ it feels like it completely deranges me#suddenly they're a monster in my eyes#buuuut none of the philosophies i subscribe to endorse this kind of black-and-white thinking. quite the opposite actually.#so. i've gotta work on seeing people as works-in-progress rather than writing them off as incorrigible monsters#but.... lemme just vent first 🤬#love my pastor though. i was raised jewish‚ and he was adopted by a jewish family when he was 13 and almost became jewish himself#so i feel like we have similar spiritual backgrounds and see eye-to-eye on a lot of things#after my argument with the above asshole‚ my pastor and i spoke at length about what was happening in gaza and how horrible it all is#as well as topics like zionism‚ antisemitism‚ and the torah#he's such a good guy. i'm sad he's retiring :(#i feel like we need him now more than ever to keep speaking out about the genocide#and to make sure views like the one mentioned above don't take hold in our church#cw: genocide#cw: racism
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yesterday he asked me how i felt about the manic pixie dream girl trope and. good question honestly. but i rlly don’t know anymore. i feel like the more i think about it the more it doesn’t make sense to me @_@. even characters like ramona i wouldn’t say fit into the idea ppl have of the trope. if u rlly KNOW her character. granted ik her from the comics im sure in the movie she fits it ;_;. but in the comics her problems r just as fucked as scott’s and they sorta help each other ^_^!
#captain’s log#i told him I DUNNO!#but i said i love quirky girl characters in media n he was like YASS! i’m jk he didn’t say yass#if he ever said yass to me idk what i’d do#he was like ‘yeah most quirky girls should b the main character over the guys anyway…’ ur cooking so hard but ur also a man#so i alsooooooo don’t entirely believe u#LOL#i’m horrible i think everything a guy says that’s positive about women is a lie#i’m just scared 😼#he also mentioned how he loves kat from 10 things i hate about you….whyre u a woman. 😭#this conversation happened bc he thot my review for 500 days of summer was short bc i didn’t like the movie#it was short cuz i was at a birthday party and not rlly watching it LOL#it’s also not a movie i rlly want to ‘analyze’… after seeing it twice it’s just toooo easy.#if u don’t understand it then ur just stupid baka
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OPEN STARTER | Patrick Finch
"I condone lying. I encourage it, even. I recommend it. I could hardly live without it."
#;open starter#the wolf;patrick#the wolf;open#he's always the most difficult one GOSH#also you must envision he's saying this with this weird open deadpan stare where he#well how do i put it: he's clearly fucking with you but he does it with such an open genuine expression#i mean he does condone lying he's not lying here (LKDSG!!!) but he is also fucking around#so this is Patrick he's 37 or anywhere around that age he's agender primarily he/him pronouns bc whatever yknow#the agender vibes of WHATEVER i know what i'm talking about trust me i have a phd in agenderism#anyways he's an informant but about as unorthodox as you can imagine he's just fucking around and finding out frankly#very depressed very jumpy very good at hiding it lmao he's my darling ♥#he is very motherly somehow i can't explain it#he has somewhat of a history in accidentally attempting to adopt powerful young women i don't know why he???#knee-jerks into wanting to be a mother figure i don't know him that well you guys#like he met suki (ferre's kamipyre) for a few minutes one time and#days after he was wondering if she'd wore a jacket because it was cold out like--#men don't get the same kindness if you're a charming kind-hearted competent warm and humorous DAD kind of guy he's unfortunately#emotionally attracted to you? unfortunately because he hates it~ but if you're any other kind of guy you're just... you're some guy to him#yes if you're young he'll adopt you too but begrudgingly-- KLDGFGKLFDHGJF#if you're a they/them you're his kid already are you kidding that's your mum#OH I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE THOUGHT so do you know om*g*verse?? regardless of how you feel about it#it do be a thing and i just had this horrible thought about how if pat were a real guy in an established canon#he'd probs get the feminisation treatment amiright?? NO LISTEN HE USED TO BE A HUGE WOLF#AND HE'S ACTUALLY FILLED WITH SO MUCH RAGE AND WRONGED PRIDE#patrick is gentle when he likes you and because he's Smart he doesn't just BITE out of nowhere he's always been like that#Fenris was known for being INCREDIBLY well-spoken BUT ALSO A HUGE PROUD WOLF#LIKE BIG WOLF-- it doesn't show but he's Very Proud and STRONG and ??????#;queue#i picked a gif came back and realized i lost it there for a sec NO MATTER makes for good entertainment
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my girl advice is so nicki minaj coded and these bitches don’t like it 😒
BASICALLY- i said this
tw : suicide mention
AND THEY GOT MAD
“money isn’t everything” yes it is 😟 i know that bc look at the way i run to these gojo/toji sugar daddy fics 💀💀💀
idc if he’s toxic as fuck as long as i get the key to the benz and a birkin. why? bc i’m toxic too 💀
“baby i’ll kill myself if you leave.” “okay then do it” WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW ???
boohoo, baby. gimme the keys.
and the whole argument about “if he has a good character and no money, i’d stay with him rather than a rich asshole.” i want the rich asshole. how the fuck are you gonna survive ????
“i don’t need expensive trips and expensive restaurants.” huh- well i do 🤣
OH AND- if he’s giving you that BLUE BOX THAT SAY TIFFANY but he’s toxic as fuck, i know id be running back 😭😭 i am willing to get stuck in that cycle of this shitty man who spoils me so good. like yeah baby, i’ll leave unless you buy me that purse.
i’ve had my experience with a broke nice guy and lemme tell you- it’s NOT it. i tried to go for personality and kept telling myself that him being broke wasn’t that bad BUT IT IS 😃 i wasted 5 months of my life like that.
smd if you disagree bro 😭 mmm i’m probably much less compassionate but i know i don’t deserve any less 😹 and if you come in my inbox abt this suck my fat brown balls bitch
#BROKE PPL SHOULD NEVER LAUGH ‼️‼️‼️#also someone told me i’m a great friend#but a horrible girlfriend 😭😭#i had this conversation w my bestfriend a few days ago and she was like#bro you’re a horrible person and you should not be dating until you’re actively attending therapy#and i was like 🧍🏽♀️ and she said that i end up damaging the other person and myself and then ignore the damage i did to myself and pretend#didn’t happen LMDOAKE but then someone else told me that i’m actually a very comforting friend#like as a friend i’m a great person bc i five the best advice on how to value#yourself and not fall for a man’s bullshit#LIKE IVE DATED ENOUGH TOXIC MEN TO BE HANDING OUT ADVICE NOW and if you don’t like my advice DONT COME CRYING TO ME BC ILL SLAP YOU#but like i’ll help you out after i slap you 🙄#like im just that bitch I WILL NEVER PUT A MAN ABOVE A WOMAN#friends are so so much more important than stupid boyfriends and i think that’s why im a better friend than a girlfriend#trust me- i used to be a great girlfriend until i got my heart put thru a#meat grinder and then i didn’t find it in myself to put my heart out like that again#i actively bitch men out and i don’t fucking feel bad#i hardly even date nice guys before you get on me abt that 💀#all the bozos i go for are dickheads and i’m a bigger dickhead#this turned into a rant
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why can’t this week just end alreadyyyyyyy
#rant about the week incomin’ in the tags bc ‘complaining’ is my unofficial middle name#this week has *not* been my week so far and it’s only wednesday morning#my horrible week commenced on sunday night when i was unable to sleep bc my pillow was oriented wrong#thus i had a grand total of 1 hour of sleep which was not very poggers tbh. so i tried to sleep on the train but…#the guy next to me??? kept swaying to lean on my shoulder??? so i hunched over to avoid physical contact but he just landed on my back??#so that sucked balls. i kept having to wake up to push him away with my bag and then trying to go back to sleep.#but then!!! just as i fell asleep after one such instance!!! the guy’s phone alarm went off????? like?? why???? why would you set an alarm??#we’re on a friggin train mannnnn!!!!! why did you have to set an alarm?????????????#and ofc when the dude finally alighted (and i was asleep) he just *had* to jab me in the side with his elbow when he got up. ಠ_ಠ#so that’s how i knew the rest of the week was gonna be just ✨peachy✨#anyways manning 2 workstations (+ 1 bonus ‘mini’ workstation) on 1h of sleep isn’t very fun. esp if you’re incompetent af like me#and ofc there just had to be problems too. like the printers couldn’t print (and the systems crashed everytime i tried to print something)#and this sample running software kept closing itself in the middle of running samples so that was a pain to deal with#and tuesday (yesterday) wasn’t much better. in fact it was ✨worse✨. none of the 2 workstations could get started till like 10am and aaaaaa—#to make matters worse i had stubbed my toe so badly in the morning that my skin tore. so walking was ✨much pain✨ as well :(#and ofc yesterday had to be the one day where i had to walk back and forth an unnecessarily high number of times >:( sadded#and ofc they *had* to have an hour-long meeting about something or other towards the end of the workday when i had yet to eat my lunch >:(#(fell asleep during the meeting though bc it was boring as balls whoops)#and i could only take a half-hour break after that >:((( i wanted my full hour dammitttttttt#and ofc it was raining when i left and ofc it took like 25 mins for me to hail a taxi on this booking app bc i didn’t want to take the train#and ofccccc i misheard the taxi driver when he arrived and he roasted my chinese speaking skills. and ofcccc we were caught in a traffic jam#(i had a really nice hour long nap in the cab though so thanks traffic jam)#and thus ended my terrible 2 past weekdays. i’m drained af and it’s *only* wednesday morning????!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i’m mentally looping anzu no uta (imascg) to cope. ‘nu-uh i don’t wanna work’ so true anzu#i just wanna sleeeeeeep and wake up this weekend or sth idk it’s too early in the year for this#it is suiyoubi my dudes#may spam self-rb my monster-length character image/gif posts later to cope. you have been warned
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media analysis or just . SPEAKING about it for that matter on tiktok is so abhorrent it literally is making me infuriated
#IM LITERALLY FUMING RNN my sibling told me that its okay i should calm down bc#people ontiktok arent real/the reading comprehension is horrible#BUT LIKE. FOR EXAMPLE#THIS GUY WHO TURNED HIS COMMENTS OFF ON HIS RANT ABT ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT#I WIL NEVER GET THOSE MINUTES OF MY LIF EBACK AND FOR WHATT#HIS ARGUMENT WAS THAT IT WAS 'BASICALLY LIKE ALL OTHER WAR FILMS' AND#AND I FUCKING QUOTE#'WAS GUT PUNCH AFTER GUT PUNCH. AND WHEN YOU REALIZE THIS IS ABOUT REAL PEOPLE IT MAKES YOU SADDER'#LIKE??ITS A FUCKING WAR FILM???#WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?? THEM TO BE FROLICKING IN FIELDS ??#THATS THE POINT!! IT SHOWS YOU HOW MEANINGLESS FUCKING FIGHTING TURNS PEOPLE INTO SHELLS OF THEMSELVES#AND FOR WHAT? FOR MEN WHO DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THEIR LIVES?#ITS JUST SHEDDING BLOOD FOR NO GOOD REASON ITS FIGHTING OTHER MEN TAKING THE SAME ORDERS AS YOU BUT JUST FROM A DIFFERENT MAN#YOU ALL WANT TO GO HOME!! YOU ALL WANT TO GO HOME#BUT YOU CANT . ok im done yelling but#thats the point. youre SUPPOSED to witness this and feel horrible and self reflect#if its not your cup of tea? thats fine. theres plenty of other media to enjoy#but when you make baseless critics and then refuse to believe youre wrong its. its just?? i dunno#also saw this w nope but dont even get me STARTED !!
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If u tell a trans disabled person to call the cops or tell someone else to call the cops abt them u do not care abt that person’s safety
#or any marginalized group but this is in reference to me#thinking abt when a customer pulled a gun on me and i told my bf at the time abt it and rather than ‘omg are u ok’#his immediate response was to get upset w me for not calling the cops after the guy had already left#as if i could do so while he was there either like obviously he had a fucking GUN what was i supposed to do#cops would have done nothing IF I WAS LUCKY + i could have gotten in trouble at work#told my best friend at the time abt it and how my bf had gotten mad and my ‘friend’ was like actually he’s right and ur a horrible person#like it was part of what ended our friendship#neither of them acknowledged or cared that I’d just been thru smth scary. just immediate rage w no apology afterwards#not even a ‘I get that that was probably scary’ like hello?? instead of being relieved I’m safe ur gonna use it for ur cop agenda??#and then say acab online for clout??#also thinking abt when another ex for some fucking reason told her ex that i was having a depressive episode and that she was like stressed#and her ex (who has never met me) was like ‘your bf is abusive and if u don’t call the cops on him I will’#literally bc i had told her that like i was having a hard time and was going to seek help#anyways if ur like ready to jump at an opportunity to Insist on sending cops after a multiply marginalized person#then u cannot use our rights movements or anti cop sentiments to like try to get pussy#and u don’t get to claim it’s for our safety if we’re telling u explicitly cops make us feel unsafe. if the individual wants to then whatev#but if it’s a situation that affects me and not you then my consent matters and it’s a hard no#fucking anyone with education in these areas understands this! i told my psychiatrist abt these instances n why i feel unsafe w cops#and she was like ‘thank u for telling me this so that if there were ever an emergency situation involving you i would know to not do that’#WHAT A CONCEPT#now im scared to tell ppl in my life abt serious things bc i think they’ll say call the cops n then scream at me if I say no#and if I tell them these stories and they’re like ‘omg that’s awful’ LIKE A NORMAL PERSON then im like omg this person is safe <3 LOW BAR#mine#txt#gun tw#personal
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