#maybe it’d be legitimately /safer/ for me to quit…who knows how long ill be able to reign myself in…
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mentally prepping myself for another 9.5 hr shift tomorrow…might end up committing a few minor crimes after but we’ll see
#9.5 hrs makes me crazy istg#after my last one i went on a long run alongside a train to clear my head#and i had to keep reminding myself that hopping onto one of the cars was a horrible horrible idea (look im self aware just impulsive ok)#n this time im already considering cruising up n down a street in the big city near my town to pick up girls or sneak into a bar idk#which is also an objectively awful n slightly immoral idea but i’m yet to completely talk myself outta it#…and after that damn shift i dunno how strong my willpower will be#maybe it’d be legitimately /safer/ for me to quit…who knows how long ill be able to reign myself in…#my folks keep sayin it’ll be more fun if my friends work there too but that ain’t happenin-#the stupid store is in the next district over n all my unemployed friends r also carless#rambling#vent post#sorry 😭#i keep wanting to like write/draw but the thought of work tmmr makes my brain go into fight or flight#fuckin adhd man#delete later#im gen srry for all the venting abt work n all i just. idk. I hate that I ain’t drawn in a minute.#N my irl friends have no sympathy bc they think im bein dramatic (i /am/ but I ain’t tryin to be I legit can’t help it)#sighhhh#yeah no I gotta quit I think im a teenager I NEED to not work doubles on the weekends AND do school at the same time#wish I could get a mechanic job or smth. mechanical stuff makes sense to me. stocking toy store shelves in specific ways is like an art#an art that I don’t understand in the slightest#so I set up displays n then my coworker says “naw that’s not quite right go do it again”#(he’s very nice abt it dw very nice guy i just don’t /get/ him)#ugh…#yeah no definitely deleting this later lol
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