#bc that would certainly make a difference
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They should invent therapy for therapists
#‘everyone should be in therapy especially therapists!!’ but u can’t go without like ruining ur career#not to mention we don’t have time bc we’re too busy Providing the therapy#and NOT TO MENTION we either don’t have insurance or can lose it at any time#meaning we either have little or no options in the first place or can need to switch#thus altering the trajectory of our careers even more#I think the ‘therapists need to be in therapy and it’s so easy and there r no obstacles ever’ ppl live in big cities usually#bc that would certainly make a difference#if ur area has like 2 options and you’ve been to therapy at one. then u have One option whether u like it or not#NOT TO MENTION!! the places that sound good for therapy are the same places that sound good to work at.#can’t even afford to consider where my preferred therapist might be. only where my preferred job might be#researching therapists as a therapists means looking for the one place u wouldn’t or couldn’t work#mine#txt#vent post
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n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.
#text#i think even younger ones that possess the same nasty traits can be slammed back 'In their place' (in his mind) by him just bc his -#- abilities and power alone (alt. name the factors that make him 'Cool') that dumbs them down insanely in comparison#maybe by this i mean like; ild*ri. despite the animosity she could still feel very foolish and is conscious of her wuss-ness#if that makes sense#cause no matter the disrespect anyone might have for an older capable person the reality is still reality#tbh i just think he doesn't like to sweat it much and still aims for the younger ones bc it's easier than it would be for someone that's -#- 30+ years old#and once he's proven his point he doesn't find any merit in sticking with older ones cause their interests or anything they offer -#- don't matter to or interest Him personally#i think an older demographic is just more boring to him and he would rather spend his time being metaphorically sucked off for his greats -#- by someone that already finds themselves 'lesser' than him and always will for a long time#than someone that is defiant of that fact#basically the more power imbalance the better#in his mind there will always be one unless he certainly knows someone is his equal (or better than him) but he likes the add-on of an -#- age difference too#keeps it in a safe zone with less problems for him#sorry for spitting again my brain just started machine-gunning thoughts for no reason#also i said before that he's an innocence fan. might not be a total puritan but there's something there#it's kinda like him not wanting to be with a dusty ''OLD'' person that's seen a lot anyway#i'm like barely able to hold myself back from opening my mouth to mention t*lvas where i'm making a point about n*loth's brain where he -#- isn't even needed to prove it#but like#him voicing dislike of n*loth general nauseating character and actions but still sucking up to him while n*loth can probably feel -#- that dislike anyway is cute to me i like to view it as an object being thrown into the wall over and over#where n*loth is proving his own worth to other people by drilling their brains out with proof. not that he needs to#but he would like that to be perfected a 100%#and t*lvas is capable of being molded into that state ....... probably#silusvesuisuis you didnot just confess to wanting to see t*lvas be slammed into a wall you fucked up demented beast you're sick#actually can't believe i forgot to mention this but he's literally so immature idk what he has anything in common with actual mature people
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tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things
#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao#feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy#danbles#and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth#or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities#or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to#or whatever else#i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy#I’M certainly not going to#but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer#and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc)#i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where#i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything#but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on#it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way#idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences#even negative ones are valuable to me#but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem#maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem#fuuck guys i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀
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Absolutely death gripped clenched trying not to comment on reductive posts on ancient greek homosexual relationships
#It is neither wholly '0mg two gay guys in love!!' and 'I am humiliating and debasing a lower man by making a woman out of him'#There's heavy elements of that in how they conceptualized penetrator vs penetrated but the erastes (lover/protector) and eromenos (beloved)#relationship was significantly more complex than that#Like it is conceptualized as sort of a mentor/mentee relationship and a positive element for an adolescent's development#It was the subject of romantic plays and you get things like people in antiquity in heated debates over who is the#erastes and who is the eromenos between Achilles and Patroclus (to better depict them in plays)#The bottom line is more 'the socially accepted m/m relationships were (what we would now consider) an adult and a child#(or young man) with the age difference being a fundamental element to the dynamic.'#And more broadly being penetrated in sex assigned a 'lower' or 'womanly' role and it would not be conventionally accepted#for an older/more socially powerful man to recieve penetration (which certainly DID happen though)#So absolutely a moment in the history of male homosexuality and not something to just go 'ew ew bad evil ewwie' about but also#not something you want to project modern conceptions of LGBT identity upon#Also we know relatively little about relationships between women in ancient Greece due to lack of sources due to being a#highly patriarchal culture but we can't actually know that they did not involve similar power dynamic#Certainly not to the same extent or in such a well socially defined way (bc they conceptualize sex almost entirely through a lens of#penetration) but I think you should be treating relations between ancient Greek women with the same degree of#historical distance from our lives and identities today.#Ok death grip failed I just typed an entire rant. Fiuck it
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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i really dislike the idea that marginalized people "being mean" is a more pressing contributing factor to their oppression than the fact that bigoted societies are prone to rewarding people who choose to perpetuate bigotry
#maddie meows#like idk for some people it does not matter how “nice” members of a disenfranchised group are to them#what matters is that feeding into systemic inequality grants them a place of power#also: “mean” and “nice” have quotations around them bc sometimes i think people define those terms differently in this context than i would#as in sometimes being “mean” just constitutes challenging someone's worldview.#something being hard to hear does not necessarily make it mean.#and i am speaking from experience here btw!!! i do like to be kind to people where possible#sometimes i think slash hope i have contributed to people choosing to become better people#other times i have just been cemented as “one of the good ones” in peoples' minds so they could continue justifying their cruelty#kindness is important but it is not a panacea for all the world's ills. if you'll allow me some purple prose lol#man idk i think the opinion i'm frustrated by is ultimately fringe + probably a flanderized version of a more reasonable one#at least i certainly hope so#but it bothers me
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Cheezi’s "greeting ceremony” is just him pouncing you over with absolute full force.
#;Food for thought (headcanons)#I love reading and watching about hyenas and Cheezi just being like no I do what I want <3#usually I add some typical behavior to my animal muses bc it’s fun#but Cheezi does not cooperate#every time I attempt to give him some kind of actual hyena mannerism he does shut it down and does his own thing#believe me when I say even if he had taken Shenzi’s offer to join the clan#he certainly wouldn’t be happy in there for a lot of reasons#and I think a lot would pick up on Cheezi’s strange behavior#I remember Kat saying in one of their replies that most hyenas think Ed is too out of it to always stick with the group#it’s one thing when his /true/ leader and clan / friends think of him as crazy or weird#but a whole hyena clan of strangers?#he definitely wouldn’t really fit in bc again he does his own thing#he makes his own rules#I love adding animal behavior but sometimes I write animals who are so different from the norm that they#are the odd one out#if he had grown up in that clan#it would be a different story since he does not know any better#but he is so used to do his own thing with Chungu and Janja
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hot(?) guilty gear take:
danger time is fun and not nearly as bad a mechanic as some people like to claim. they're just salty when they lose to it
#crow.txt#like its a really hype mechanic. its fun to watch and tbh never bugged me that much to experience#granted i didnt go to tourneys ever but like#idk. both opponents are given the same things. is it kinda a reaction time game? certainly. but thats like all of fighting games#idk why its so Irredeemably Awful to a lot of players who probably never even play in tourneys they just like regurgitating the same things#repeatedly forever bc its the internet and predominantly reddit#even if the argument is that some matchups are skewed unfairly (like slayer pilebunkering repeatedly) i mean.... yeah? thats like#the fucking crux of fighting games. its not specific to danger time. you can make that argument about literally anything#you could make that argument about certain overdrive mechanics in blazblue#i can see how it would be frustrating in a tourney but if youre getting THAT big mad about losing this specific way then.. man idk#is it that different than being beaten normally. not really#the real unspoken bullshit mechanic is being able to instant kill functionally whenever you want. THATS the tourney killer#its unrealistic in the vast majority of scenarios but like... at least with like every other game. blazblue and unib#you have to EARN it at least a little. yeah the consequences of whiffing are major but also with stun in xrd it can be easier to land#even when someone is a huge dick about astralling me in blazblue i dont get nearly as tilted about it as i would#at getting hit by a bs instant kill setup like first round in xrd. are you kidding me. holy shit#at least astrals have to be match point. you literally Do have to earn it. unib you yourself have to be half dead rather than the opponent#being able to instant kill just Whenever feels so much cheaper#getting off my soapbox for an opinion nobody asked for. even tho strive damage is already crazy insane#danger time was a fun mechanic and idk a danger time mod might be funny. never seen anything quite like it but thats true of a lot of gg#only guy on earth who misses danger time apparently
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🕯️manifesting my promotion🕯️
#ack it would just be. so incredible for my life. not only would it be a full time job I could do sustainably without being in pain#but I know I like the company and get along ok with my coworkers (and certainly am capable of playing nice when I don't)#and I make the most sense as a candidate. I really do. the only point against me is I don't have my licence yet#but my driving test is 9 days away and I'm not very worried about whether or not I'll pass it#I just. please let this happen. this would let me have an actual career and a job I could live on. I'd have financial independence#for the first time in my life#plus I'd be making more money than I ever have in my life and it would give me management experience#so if it doesn't work out for whatever reason I'd be able to get other management-level jobs#but I hope it would work out because again I really like the company and id rather stay there than work for a bigger company#like could I probably get a management job at like walmart or a fast food place? yes. but I wouldn't want to lol#but yeah I'd go from $11/hr to $17.50/hr and I'd work about 22 more hours per week#plus I'd get bonuses and paid vacation days and all of that which would be very nice#apparently there's a $4k sign on bonus for the position too (bc they've had such a hard time filling it if I had to guess)#so I'd have that to look forward to whenever it got paid out. Just generally I'd be in a much much better financial situation#and so would my whole family#right now my income makes a big difference and I'm only making like $500/month rn#so if I was making over $2000/month? my parents would be so much less stressed#idk I've just felt more fulfilled at this job than I ever have before and I feel like I belong at this company honestly#like as far as part time jobs go I got extremely lucky. it's a very lax culture where as long as your tasks get done#they don't care if you spend half your shift on your phone. there's no meaningless busy work#I'm allowed to sit when I want to and I'm very mobile otherwise and it's great for my pain#I'm in very minor pain at this job. less pain than high school caused me in terms of physical demand on my body#I can see myself being able to build an actual career at this company. and considering I spent most of last year struggling#to find employment at all? and then spent a few months in my own personal hell? the possibility that this might really happen is incredible#I've built so much confidence at this job in only 3 months and I would not have even thought myself capable of management a year ago#it's incredible what being surrounded by people who treat you like a competent adult person can do for your self-image#(you will see yourself as a competent adult person actually. crazy how that works)
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final input before I fall asleep I think it is so so so funny that like. watching this playthrough seeing they kept the sh4 references in I did have a moment where I was like. tbh I hope that by remaking this game instead of starting with the first one, that implies they aren't going to remake 3 either. I think they should ignore 3 completely. but I think a sh4 remake would actually go hard as hell
#chatty!#im one of the tiny handful of ppl that actually liked 4 and if they remade that one i would actually play it#something about 2 is just wrong and ive been so put off by it ever since the reveal trailer. the tone is very specific yk#but i feel like if they had done 4 instead it wouldve been such a different impression#4 of course is the bastard child and i dont expect them to actually do that one. but imagine#thatd make most sense to me personally. and i do genuinely think they could pull it off#bc my biggest issue rn i think literally is the tone of the game. combat looks bad too but its not supposed to be good#that said it wasnt *before*. remake seems extremely combat reliant/heavy so idk why they kept the awkward clunkiness too#its the fact that its a remake of a game that was Very Specific and theyre going a complete other way thats killing it for me#and i feel like what theyre doing wouldve worked better with a game that was Not so so connected to its original specific mood#u know what i mean. like i prommy im not opposed to the idea of remakes this one just was certainly a. choice#i also dont trust them to remake 3 thats why i do not want to see it <3 leave her alone
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I am so desperately trying to sleep but I can't stop giggling. Why am I always like this with my blorbos. At least if it were a crush or hell, a squish, it'd make sense. But no. I am just. I just go very giggly and kick-feet and hehehehe.
#Tbh for the longest time I was like:#'Okay what the hell do I feel abt Pearl & abt Scar. Cause I most certainly act as if I had a crush —#But I Don't wanna date them. Not even befriend them. '#Just little hearts circling my head like the birds of knocked-out cartoon characters#I got thinking now bc I was like 'fictional crush? simple obsession? I there a difference if you're not part of the equation?'as a joke#But then got to researching#rediscovered squish and thought that was it. But I Don't wanna befriend my blorbos either#I just. Yk. Lose all sense of composure in the same way someone w a crush might do. But not romantically NOT even platonically.#a secret third thing#I honestly don't know how I'd describe it to someone who isn't in fandom spaces.#I don't need to add to it how whatever character I'm obsessed w will just make me just absolutely incoherent Often for no real reason#Not at a glance at least. I'm sure my therapist would say otherwise but I don't wanna get into that lmao#anyway#njnnhhhn#hopefully this is enough blorbo-talk that my brain actually lets me sleep now#carime rambles#... been typing these tags for HALF AN HOUR#CHRIST!!!!#i got a pop-up for me to blaze this saying humans need to see it. no they dont. leave me to my giggling fits alone
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you're assuming a lot about binary trans people, and if anything it makes me think that our understandings of our genders aren't actually that different? Not every binary trans person wants to pass as a cis person. I don't want to pass as a cis woman, I want people to understand me for what I am, a collection of internal beliefs and thoughts that I've constructed an identity with. It sounds like we both have created identities for ourselves! If you think that non binary people are the only people capable of creating their own identities and striving to be seen as them, that's on you
im gonna try one more time. i cant really tell if youre being sarcastic or not so im gonna assume youre being genuine when you say you think we have similar understandings of gender. but to me it sounds like you are deliberately ignoring the Actual Words i am saying.
we need words to describe our experiences, both different and common ones. those words may be in themselves faulty or somewhat inaccurate, but they are what we have to discuss important concepts, and they function well enough if they have a generally agreed-upon meaning. right?
so. the dominant culture of the imperial core is one of strictly binary sex. anything that breaks this, is deviant of the "rules of nature", to this dominant culture. right?
so then we call people who are NOT of this binary system multiple different things depending on cultural context and personal identity and personal circumstance. right?
'nonbinary' is only one of those words. to each individual it may mean any one of hundreds upon thousands of different things. everyone has their own personal identity, and while we may use the same word to describe said identity, no two people will have the same definition.
this is true of 'manhood' and 'womanhood' as well. every individual, cis trans both neither intersex perisex and so on and so forth, every single one of them has different PERSONAL interpretations of these words and the concepts they are meant to describe.
but 'woman' has to mean something in order to function as a real concept. it has to have some semblance of shared meaning, shared experience, shared conceptual feeling and vibe, for it to work within the imperial core as a means of systemic control and oppression, for it to work as a communicable identity, and for it to function as a word in a language.
in the same vein of thought, 'binary' is a word we are using to describe someone whose gender, in some way, shape, or form, fits into the schema of 'man and woman'. your internal definition of your own gender does not actually matter very much to other people who do not know it exists.
for me, it matters that i am percieved as a binary gender no matter what i do. it matters, and hurts, a lot. and for some people, it matters and hurts less. for some people, it matters and hurts not at all.
whether you consider yourself binary or not is entirely up to you and how you interpret your own navigation of the world. its very strange to act as if im saying anything otherwise. YOU defined YOURSELF as binary in your responding to me. you said you were also agender, so, like i said in my prev tags, i dont think youre the target audience. but the way youre reacting, it seems you think you are. i am also going to reiterate that 'binary' is not a bad thing to be - binary trans people and for that matter, binary cis people, are not my enemies. but i deserve to have the language to talk about my experiences as they compare to binary people. that's all it is.
#if we cant reach a resolution here i think itd be best if we block and go our separate ways also lol#i also think its strange to assert that theres no such thing as a binary trans person bc that sort of fundamentally spits in the face of ge#derqueer and nonbinary trans identities imo?#there are certainly people who identify as binary to whatever degree that they do#nonbinary identities arent 'complex inner gender feelings' they are quite literally genders that DO NOT FIT WITHIN THE MAN/WOMAN SCHEMA THA#S IMPOSED ON US#which again this is sorta what i was talking abt in the original post#i cant talk about things that are unique to or uniquely affected by my gender as a not-binary gender without binary (or again 'binary-adjac#nt') people being insulted that i would dare try to talk about exorsexism as it affects nonbinary people#which is exactly why i need to use the word binary#its genuinely really frustrating how every time ive tried ive met the same resistance#the first person i met who didnt was in fact a binary trans man lmfao#and we talked abt the differences and similarities between being a gnc man and having 'pansy' be your desired presentation and what my desi#es were presentation wise. that i couldnt be an effeminate man or a masc woman bc either of those are still recognized as men and women#and i really dont understand why more binary trans people dont make that same effort to meet me and talk w me abt these different ways we a#e treated by the patriarchy#and instead essentially say that nonbinary identity doesnt actually really exist bc Everyone is nonbinary/No One is binary#like thats kinda shitty
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pretty tears | BC



★ DAY THREE : DACRYPHILIA WITH BANGCHAN ★

pairing: husband! bangchan x f! reader
did you really think it was a good idea to bug your lovely boyfriend at a sophisticated dinner of all places? to think that you’d actually get away with it just because he can’t react then and there? you’d be extremely mistaken. he’ll show you exactly what whining and teasing gets you— in fact, he’ll have you whining at his mercy.
[warnings]: MDNI 18+!!, literally no plot, dacryphilia, dom bangchan x brat reader, slight spanking, rough unprotected sex, cursing, pet names (slut, whore, baby, babygirl), hair pulling, some fluff at the end, chan is a whole different person in bed
word count: 1.7k

“I’m sure Bangchan buys you all the finest jewelry, isn’t that right?”
You raised your eyebrows smugly, glancing at Bangchan’s “you better not” look. You smiled at him, taking a sip from your glass.
“Well it has been a little long since I’ve received any jewelry.. you would know, right Channie?”
You bat your lashes at him, watching as his face turned red from embarrassment. Some of the guest at the table snickered, others staying silent at your response. You didn’t mean anything rude from it, in fact you knew the reason why you haven’t received anything from Bangchan in some time. You didn’t care for the jewelry or expensive gifts, as his love was enough to hold you over, but boy did you love to play with him like a toy.
Only because you knew what it would get you later on.
“Baby, you know why I haven’t..” he turned to look at you, holding your hand under the table and giving it a gentle squeeze.
You rolled your eyes, taking another sip from your glass. Chan gave a hesitant smile to the group, soon moving his hand to your thigh and giving it a tight squeeze.
“Why it shouldn’t be hard to provide for your lady. You make more than enough to sustain the both of you.��
You looked up at Chan’s right hand man in the business world, crossing your arms and nodding. Bangchan gritted his teeth, his nails digging into your thigh as you struggled to now hold back a yelp of pain.
“I say, treat her to something lovely, something containing 18 carat gold, with a pretty rock in the middle.” The younger looked at the woman next to him, admiring her beauty.
“As I always say, nothing but the best for my wife.”
Bangchan stood up from the dinner table, grabbing your coat and pulling you out of the chair. You furrowed your eyebrows at his sudden change in character, getting up from your seat.
“Well it has certainly been a nice evening with you all.” He helped you put on your jacket. “I’ll see you Monday, yeah?”
He waved goodbye to everyone, dragging you out of the house silently. He opened the car door for you, still nothing but silence between the two of you. You both sat in the car for a moment, allowing the quiet of night to engulf you two before you spoke.
“Did I upset you Channie? You know I was only joking, right?”
You ran your fingers across his cheek, making him turn away from you as he started the car. He refused eye contact with you, driving away from the house without saying another word to you.
“And I’m sure you know by now that this bratty behavior doesn’t reward.”
— ✧⁂✬ —
You both walked into your shared bedroom, Chan taking off his blazer and setting it aside in on the desk. He was still silent as ever even after what felt like the longest car ride of your life.
You kicked off your heels and placed them in the closet, turning around to be met with Chan right in front of you. You met his eyes as they were filled with both lust and rage. Bangchan was always good with hiding his emotions around others, especially when you were the cause of them, but being alone with you was a different story.
“Bed. Now.”
Your breath hitched for a moment, feeling a cool chill run up your back. His face was stern and cold, but it wasn’t unfamiliar to you. Bangchan never appreciated your brattiness, especially not in front of others, but boy did he love to put you in your place for it. You were sure that he knew you enjoyed it as well.
“Or what, I’m not scared of you Channie.” you crossed your arms, smugging as he furrowed his eyebrows.
He grabbed you by the waist, pushing you toward the bed and bending you over. His hands slipped beneath your skirt, attempting to rip your panties off only to find that you had a thong on. Bangchan sighed, pulling your skirt up just enough to show your bare ass to him.
“You fucking slut.” he gritted his teeth, smacking his hand against your ass. You yelped out in pleasure, hands gripped at the bedsheets as he fondled with your ass.
“Wearing this little thing for me? You must want me to mess up this pretty pussy of yours, yeah?”
Another rough smack rippled through the room, leaving a tingling sensation against your skin. He grabbed your hair, pulling you up to meet his level. He smirked at your painful expression, his other hand rubbing your reddened skin.
“Not so bratty now, huh? What happened to that necklace you wanted so badly?”
You attempted to turn your head away, only for Chan’s grip to tighten. You hissed in response, your cunt already leaking in arousal from how rough he was with you.
“Maybe if you’re good for me, I’ll think about getting you one.” he looked at your bare ass, tilting his head.
“What did he say? 18 carat? With a pretty rock?”
He let go of your hair, undoing the buckle to his pants and pulling them down with ease. He pressed his bulge against your ass, groaning softly as his hands squeezed your skin. You moaned quietly as he pressed himself against your clothed folds.
He pulled your thong off, letting it drop to your ankles and soon pulling out his cock. He rubbing his tip against your folds, throwing his head back at how wet you were.
“Since you wanna be a brat,” he shoved his dick into you without warning, watching as you attempted to catch your breath.
“Why don’t we get you begging over that necklace, hm?”
He pulled your hands behind your back, holding them down as he rammed into your aching cunt. Your whimpers filled the room, unable to get a break as he grazed your sweet spot over and over. Your face dug into the bed, letting out countless cries of pleasure as Chan manhandled you.
“Channie, fuck!”
His nails dug into your waist as he held you tightly, slamming into you with no remorse. He left go of your hands and grabbed onto your hair once again, pulling you back against him. You winced in pain as Chan came down to your level, kissing your temple softly as he continued to fuck you.
“You like that, baby? Huh?”
A loud smack rippled against the walls, your asscheek tingling once again. You yelped in pleasure, nodding your head as tears began to spill down your cheeks. You moaned aloud, not even caring to wipe the tears that ran down your face.
“Aw look at you, not so bratty anymore hm?”
He kissed your tears, pulling out of you and flipping you onto your back. You met his lustful eyes, a good kind of fear instilling within you as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. He rubbed the head of his dick softly against your folds, groaning as his tip leaked. He leaned forward, kissing you gently before pushing himself back into you without warning.
“Gonna fill you so good..” his thrusts grew hastily with every push. “You’re so pretty when you cry baby.”
He leaned over your body as he fucked you roughly. His eyes piercing into you like a knife while he watched your helpless tears escape you. A smug smile painted his face as he held your arms above your head.
“Whose pussy is this, hm?” he grabbed your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes. “Answer me when I talk to you, yeah? You know how I feel about you disrespecting me.”
He threw his head back and groaned as his tip grazed your sweet spot. You could barely take him in, let alone when he fucked you this roughly. All because you wanted to embarrass him in front of guests.
“Yours, it’s yours!
Chan smiled at you, his thumb coming down to rub against your clit softly. You let out a deep moan, back arching as he never stopped his harsh movements inside of you. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head as your climax reached an all time high, suddenly rushing over your body and spilling all over his cock.
“Fuck, baby.” he threw his head back, holding your legs up as he pounded into you.
Tears continued to escape you as you begging him to slow down, but unfortunately for you he was too close to stop now. His thrusts got faster, harder as he felt his own high approaching, desperate to release into you. His hands dug into your thighs as you whimpered, small marks being left on your skin as a reminder of the behavior that earned you this type of treatment.
“Gonna, gonna cum.”
He leaned closer to your body, his head burrowed in your neck as his final thrusts were aggressive. A loud groan left his mouth as he released himself into you, pumping his dick into you a few more times to make sure you were stuffed. He kissed your neck gently, wiping the stained tears from your cheeks as his body came down from his high.
He gently pulled out of you, kissing your stomach softly as he pulled your skirt back down. He fixed himself up and sat next to your limp body, his hand rubbing your thigh.
“You learn your lesson, baby?” you looked up at him with doe eyes, nodding quietly as the last of your sniffles came. Chan smiled at you, ruffling your hair and getting up.
“Good. Want me to start a warm bath for you?”
You met his kindhearted eyes, the ones you adored just as much as his piercing ones. You smiled and nodded, playing with the hem of your skirt. Chan took you by the hand, guiding you to the bathroom and helped you undress as the water ran. Once you sat in the tub, he offered to wash you up, also bringing you some company while you relaxed.
“Thank you Channie.”
He kissed your forehead softly as he grabbed a warm towel for you, laying it on his lap as you laid in the water.
“Anything for my babygirl.”

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which logan(s) would put you in the most heavenly mating press i’m talkin entire body mass crushing your thighs to your tits and either brutal pounding with his teeth in your neck OR passionate (still pounding. it’s all he knows) deep ass thrusts holding ur head with both hands i’m gonna explode
https://x.com/Father4u666/status/1865094902285013461 the size difference…
Oh sweet anon you are KILLING ME HERE- pls continue..
But this link??? Im actually deceased, you do not understand. Size kink going wild rn soooo heres my thoughts on this:
70s dofp!Logan is the best at the mating press. Hands down. I mean we have all seen the scene cap of him and the girls frankly TINY arm over his neck. That is a big, heavy man who FUCKS with everything in him. Size kink screams when he’s near. He’s completely draped over you no matter the position.
Oldman Logan often gives deep heavy pounds that are slow in pace, holding your face/neck tight in his hand. He’s cooing in your ear so much filthy shit, trying to drive you to the edge with every single thing he knows. Fingers like a champ. When he has the stamina on a good, moderately painless day, he is soooo good at fucking rougher. He lovessss being ridden and WILL absolutely thrust up from the bottom fast and hard when you get tired. Hes also big on spanking. Bc That’s daddy frrrr
X1-X2 Logan is somewhere between both.. but arguably most feral, speed is definitely something he utilises, quick pounding is his kinda vibe? He’s certainly got the stamina for it. Def leaves the most marks too- you can guarantee your leaving with hickys and bite marks allll across your neck/tits/thighs.
Worst Logan.. I feel like worstie is cautious at first. He doesn’t want the risk of hurting his partner, but he will give Slow and deep. He will give it quicker when he’s more comfortable if that’s what you need but mostly he knows he’s got time here.. He Can afford to savour every moment with you. Also a biggggg giving oral for his pleasure kinda man. Gets needy for you to simply ride/warm him
Origins is all about praise, about making you feel good at all times. He’s a sweet sweet lover boy. He’s probably the most likely to fuck the gentlest in all honesty. He’s allll about the slow intimate sex, keeping eachother closer than close in bed. Def more on the love maker spectrum than rougher fucking but he is capable if it’s what you need from him orrrr when/if he’s jealous- Also probably the best when it comes to mutual masterbation/clit play. This Logan is boyfriend, this Logan is husband.
#carbonrambles#logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett x reader smut#oldman logan howlett#old man logan#dofp! logan#origins logan howlett#worst logan#smut
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hey uh so I haven't seen anyone talking about this here yet, but
the amazon river, like the biggest river in the fucking world, in the middle of the amazon fucking rainforest, is currently going through its worst drought since the records began 121 years ago

picture from Folha PE
there's a lot going on but I haven't seen much international buzz around this like there was when the forest was on fire (maybe because it's harder to shift the narrative to blame brazil exclusively as if the rest of the world didn't have fault in this) so I wanted to bring this to tumblr's attention
I don't know too many details as I live in the other side of the country and we are suffering from the exact opposite (at least three cyclones this year, honestly have stopped counting - it's unusual for us to get hit by even one - floods, landslides, we have a death toll, people are losing everything to the water), but like, I as a brazilian have literally never seen pictures of the river like this before. every single city in the amazonas state is in a state of emergency as of november 1st.


pictures by Adriano Liziero (ig: geopanoramas)
we are used to seeing images of rio negro and solimões, the two main amazon river affluents, in all their grandiose and beauty and seeing these pictures is really fucking chilling. some of our news outlets are saying the solimões has turned to a sand desert... can you imagine this watery sight turning into a desert in the span of a year?


while down south we are seeing amounts of rain and hailstorms the likes of which our infrastructure is simply not built to deal with, up north people who have built everything around the river are at a loss of what to do.
the houses there that are built to float are just on the ground, people who depend on fishing for a living have to walk kilometers to find any fish that are still alive at all, the biodiversity there is at risk, and on an economic level it's hard to grasp how people from the northern states are getting by at all - the main means of transport for ANYTHING in that region is via the river water. this will impact the region for months to come. it doesnt make a lot of sense to build a lot of roads bc it's just better to use the waterway system, everything is built around or floats on the river after all. and like, the water level is so incomprehensibly low the boats are just STUCK. people are having a hard time getting from one place to another - keep in mind the widest parts of the river are over 10 km apart!!
this shit is really serious and i am trying not to think about it because we have a different kind of problem to worry about down south but it's really terrifying when I stop to think about it. you already know the climate crisis is real and the effects are beyond preventable now (we're past global warming, get used to calling it "global boiling"). we'll be switching strategies to damage control from now on and like, this is what it's come to.
I don't like to be alarmist but it's hard not to be alarmed. I'm sorry that I can't end this post with very clear intructions on how people overseas can help, there really isn't much to do except hope the water level rises soon, maybe pray if you believe in something. in that regard we just have to keep pressing for change at a global level; local conditions only would not, COULD NOT be causing this - the amazon river is a CONTINENTAL body of water, it spans across multiple countries. so my advice is spread the word, let your representatives know that you're worried and you want change towards sustainability, degrowth and reduced carbon emissions, support your local NGOs, maybe join a cause, I don't know? I recommend reading on ecological and feminist economics though
however, I know you can help the affected riverine families by donating to organizations dedicated to helping the region. keep in mind a single US dollar, pound or euro is worth over 5x more in our currency so anything you donate at all will certainly help those affected.
FAS - Sustainable Amazon Fundation
Idesam - Sustainable Developent and Preservation Institute of Amazonas
Greenpeace Brasil - I know Greenpeace isn't the best but they're one of the few options I can think of that have a bridge to the international world and they are helping directly
There are a lot of other smaller/local NGOs but I'm not sure how you could donate to them from overseas, I'll leave some of them here anyway:
Projeto Gari
Caritás Brasileira
If you know any other organizations please link them, I'll be sure to reblog though my reach isn't a lot
thank you so much for reading this to the end, don't feel obligated to share but please do if you can! even if you just read up to here it means a lot to me that someone out there knows
also as an afterthought, I wanted to expand on why I think this hasn't made big news yet: because unlike the case of the 2020 forest fires, other countries have to hold themselves accountable when looking at this situation. while in 2020 it was easier to pretend the fires were all our fault and people were talking about taking the amazon away from us like they wouldn't do much worse. global superpowers have no more forests to speak of so I guess they've been eyeing what latin america still has. so like this bit of the post is just to say if you're thinking of saying anything of the sort, maybe think of what your own country has done to contribute to this instead of blaming brazil exclusively and saying the amazon should be protected by force or whatever
#solarpunk#sustainability#environmentalism#climate change#climate crisis#global warming#amazon rainforest#amazon river#geography#brazil#degrowth#punk#global boiling#ecopunk#anti capitalism#climate action#climate activism#the world does not die on my watch#i saw someone use that tag and uh i like it we should make it a thing#long post#:/ sorry i know no one likes lengthy bad news posts on their dashes but i've been thinking about this quite a bit#and i don't really know what to do to help bc i don't have money to donate and i am 10 thousand km away#i think i could be doing more to help but i am already trying my best#again dont feel obligated to share or read this but it would be nice and i would love you forever#have removed lbv from the post
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you can't just drop the fact that jack and brick did actually meet at UNH and then not elaborate on that at all!!!! 😭😭😭
#like certainly they were ships passing in the night bc of the age difference but still...I thought they didn't meet until like nesn#the lore is all too much for me I'm afraid...they really ARE flawless together#did he call brick's collegiate games then???? hhhhhh#and he played DIVISION 1 SOCCER??? I knew he played soccer but like damn#he got so excited during the 2011 playoffs that he thought his blood pressure would kill him and leave brick standing there alone#brick said I love my batshit workwife and he makes me excited to show up every night 🥺🥺🥺#anyway I'll never stop thinking about them thank you for your time#jack and brick's greatest hits
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