#something about 2 is just wrong and ive been so put off by it ever since the reveal trailer. the tone is very specific yk

[risaonda]

final input before I fall asleep I think it is so so so funny that like. watching this playthrough seeing they kept the sh4 references in I did have a moment where I was like. tbh I hope that by remaking this game instead of starting with the first one, that implies they aren't going to remake 3 either. I think they should ignore 3 completely. but I think a sh4 remake would actually go hard as hell

[tootiecakes234]

Katsuki Preparing for the Proposal:

*if you want to read the Part 1 you can click here

“Can you for once just do what I ask you without questioning everything Pinky? I’m offering a spa day full paid and you’re acting like I’m holding you at gunpoint!” I said exasperated.

Ive been on the phone for 10 minutes for what should have been a 2 minute phone called. I’d called and told Mina that i would pay for y/n and her to have a spa day. Massages, nails, hair, the works. What i didn’t expect is for the this woman to put up a fight about it.

“ I’m just trying to make sure a villain hasn’t taken over your body and is impersonating you! But fine, twist my arm. I’ll take your card AND your girlfriend and go do some damage on your dime. I’m tired of going back and forth. What time should I be there to get her?” She asked cheerily now that she’d accepted to “gift” being offered to her.

“Around 11 in the morning. You guys can go get lunch or something. And again I say, big mouth, do not tell her that I’m apart of this. Do you understand?” I said in the most threatening tone possible.

“Sir yes sir.” She mocked at me. “I’ll text her to set up it up now. Oh and I hope whatever you’re planning goes accordingly to plan, Mr. Inconspicuous.”

The gurgle that came out of that my mouth had Mina laughing on the other end of the phone.

“Shut up idiot. I’m not planning anything. Bye!” And i quickly hung up the call.

Dammit. She’d better not know anything. Eijirou better not have run his mouth and Pinky sure as hell better not run her mouth. Putting faith in any of my shitty friends to keep a secret was like trying to sweep sand at the beach… hopeless.

I had no other way to guarantee that y/n would stay away from the house long enough for me to get everything set up.

I’d gone into my office and locked the door to call Mina just to make sure she didn’t overhear anything.

When I finally made it back to the bedroom, she was in bed on her phone and didn’t LOOK like she suspected anything so that’s as good as I could hope for right now.

“Mina just randomly texted me and said she wants to go to the spa tomorrow. Isn’t that weird? It’s 8 o’clock at night and I just saw her earlier and she didn’t mention anything about it.”

“Mina’s weird all the fucking time anyway so no more than usual I guess. You should go though…. I mean you’ve been saying that works been stressing you or whatever.” I know I’m a shit liar, but this insane technically lying, so I’m hoping she buys it.

Ever since I’d decided to propose to her, everything I say sounds like something rehearsed or scripted and it’s putting me on edge. I’m either gonna give this woman this ring or have a goddamn heart attack trying.

“Hmmmm, you’re right. She said she’s going to cover it so why not.” She texts back and then sets down her phone on the nightstand score she turns to me. “I have the best friends in the world, don’t I?”

“Yea… just fucking terrific” I said frowning

“Katsuki, baby, don’t be jealous. I’ll tell Eiji to get you guys a spa day for your birthday. It’ll be a cute little outing.” she says all cheeky.

“No way in hell. I’ve gotten massages with E before and that bastard groans and moans while he’s getting his. I’ll be damned if I suffer through that again.” That makes her giggle but I’m being completely serious.

She does that a lot, finds humor in my honesty. One of the reasons I can’t wait to marry her. She’s one the few that I can be myself with and never feel like I’m saying the wrong thing or being the wrong me…. Fuck.

“Hey, where are you right now? You’re looking at me but you are not in the same space?” And I feel her warm hand press up against my cheek.

“Nowhere, just thinking. I’m tired, long day. You ready to go to sleep?”

“Mhmm.” She leans and presses 3 quick kisses to my lips before she turns to turn off the lamp next to the bed.

The time she snuggles down into the sheets my arm is wrapping around her and pulling her back flush against my front.

“Goodnight princess”

“Night Kat-daddy”

The last thought before I drift to sleep is that hopefully by tomorrow night I’ll be sleeping next to my fiance instead of my girlfriend.

*ok, so I don’t like writing super long fics soooo this is going to end up being part 2 of 3 or 4. I haven’t decided. But I feel like all this filler is super cute and important because Katsuki is actually such a simp and such a nerd underneath all that attitude and I wanted to showcase that soooo please don’t be mad that this isn’t the actual proposal🥺

Katsuki Masterlist

Tooties Tags: Tags: @dreamcastgirl99 @xxvendettaxx @jays-adventure3 @theloveofnagiseishiroslife @mintsbubbletea @darkstarlight82 @anon-mouse223 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @i-literally-cant-with-this @flowerbedbaby @kit-katsukii @tippy-toes @superlegend216 @liliththeunqualifiedsimp @burgvndy @yoyolovesdaiki @zaiban2989 @citrustsuki-2 @queenpiranhadon @mikestuffffs @gold24fish @getou0309 @djlance-rock



[catatombi]

beware of fang

Hey, im gonna say it outright and state that this is a call out. people get called out for being dangerous. fangs nearly pushed 3 people to commit suicide(including myself) and i had to be hospitalized because of him, so this feels justified. Im sorry if you disagree, ill keep it short and to the point If you’ve been a long time follower of his im sure you’ve seen his vague posts about his ex friends, the cotl tumblr community and “fandom drama” with little to no context behind it, other than various people appearing on his DNI. his vague nature in the posts is intentional, he doesn't want to let on that he was abusing his friends. Ive tried time and time again to write something but it never seemed right, like what he’s done to me and my friends wasn’t severe enough to warrant something like this, but it is and i don't want to let this go any longer, esp not when he has my friends, their names, usernames and literal contact information in his DNI list Over the last year ive been friends with fang hes been horrible. Hes never changed and refuses to acknowledge what hes done to his friends and how horribly he has hurt them, to keep this short im keeping this bullet pointy Here is his carrd, he has everything neatly outlined for yall to block on every platform Dont harass, dont contact. all of this is public information so https://web.archive.org/web/20240713073710/https://fanged-info.carrd.co/#boundaries

https://fanged-info.carrd.co/ Twit: FFANGEDD / narilamb_ / mewhenimsilly Insta: ffangedd / narilamb Tumblr: ffangedd / fanged-cotl / fanged-xeno Cara: narilamb Blusky: fanged / narilamb Itaku: fanged Artfight: FANGED Toyhouse: FFANGEDD Sheezy: fanged Discord & telegram: narilamb All the people mentioned have given consent Cw !!! abuse, suicide, self harm https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG

The drive is a bit out of date, as I logged it all before april. Hes posted more awful shit and vented to me again since then Feel free to request the letter i wrote to him, i might share it anyway because it sums up my thoughts on the matter If you want any additional context feel free to ask

Fang uses suicide and self harm threats to control and manipulate his friends, hes begged me for assisted suicide and when i refused to help him commit he begged in groupchats. He begged on instagram stories as well as twitter, so much so that his twitter for suspended for 12 hours. He has admitted to wanting someone to commit suicide with him and has previously formed suicide pacts and nearly followed through on one with a friend. fang backed out first. he continues to redirect blame. refusing to take accountability for his actions. He still blames his previous medications, his ex psychiatrist, his self diagnosed BPD & OCD, psychosis, and states of beings from disorders he doesn't have (claiming to be manic or sociopathic whilst not having bipolar1 or ASPD) fang blames his (ex)friends, claiming they were projecting their mental illness onto him when they were just reacting to his abuse, that they the ones in the wrong and that how they treated him/cut him off was vile and unfair, and believes that he never got real closure when he did. it just wasn't what he wanted to hear and now feels entitled to an apology from these people when all he’s ever done is traumatize and terrorize them. He describes the amount in which he has cut over pavi, wart and kat because what they put him through and how they traumatized him. The traumatizing actions were: Kat asking for a content warning, pavi didn't want to walk on eggshells anymore and blocked him without an explanation & wart blocked him after being emotionally abused for months Hes described how he would carve their names into his thigh and told me that he will carve my name into his skin when i leave too. He demanded wart and surf choose their “real friends” and cut off their community for him because fang hated that they were being “two-faced” and hanging out with “people who hate him” He would spend hours venting relentlessly and graphically in his friends DMs, demanding their time and attention and expecting immediate replies. His friends are not professionals and shouldnt be expected to be an on-call DIY therapist for him, for hours, without consent. Fang has said he is completely unwilling to self censor for other peoples safety fang has vented to a 13 year old (they were not hiding their age) He referred to me (and our friends) as a phone person, a voice, icons. Concepts he can talk. Completely dehumanizing everyone that cared about him even to their faces. He blames his ex friends for his poor mental health and has said he wishes they watched him commit suicide, he wanted his friends to be traumatized from this (as if they werent already.) When a friend posted a screenshot of a gamenight to tumblr he had a breakdown so severe and so dangerous for so long that several of his friends has to mute the DM to keep themselves safe from his verbal abuse and suicide/SH threats He doesn't care about how triggering any of this can be for someone and will subject anyone (including people in danger) to his “venting” He didnt care about triggering me and contacted me at the worst of my suicidality in january and exasperated the danger i was in so severely I had to be hospitalized against my will before I could commit suicide. 

Im honestly not entirely sure what to even think. he knew the severity of my suicidality. he knew I had been hospitalized for an attempt in 2022, and still he chose me, probably the most vulnerable of his friends at the time to vent that heavily too back in janurary Hes a dangerous selfish person whos proven over and over that hes not getting better and isnt willing to change, i honestly had hope when he slowed down his graphic vent posts and victim blaming on twitter and insta but he decided to say fuck all and get right back into his shit train of shame and misery. Heres a link to all of the screenshot, damning ones are in important bitz if you’re not interested in going through them all https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG in these screens alone he: admits to sending his cuts to his friends, threatens to cut if i leave, admits that he was going to go through with a duel suicide and begged me for assisted suicide

warts screenshots v

full screenshots & complete context in the drive as for him claims that i was stalking him: i was scared, i was his friend. i tried so hard to be good enough and never was. the screens were a by product of confiding in my friends about what was happening and the drive was made to share w/ them i admit i prolly shouldve combed out some of it but, ykno also big phat apology for tagging cotl!!!!! only did bc fang has, please stay safe everyone, and thank you so much if you have read everything (the doc encase anyone was wanting it ! figured i;d just use tumblr regular posting method) https://docs.google.com/document/d/17QjXUEdQVd8c4GZS--vPo-xR3kgmoLl4ZmN3ROMutg0/edit?usp=sharing

edit as of 8:30pm 7/17/24 here is a link to pavi's response warts response and kats response

[fanta2y]

Puppy Love

ahh sorry ive been meaning to post this fic for a couple days now but ive been swamped with school, but its here now !! yahoo!

i hope you guys like ittt <3

cw: slightly suggestive? and i mean SLIGHTLY

word count: 2k

Yuuji was never scared to show his affections. Whether that be with his encouraging words, or his physical touches. He knew that his time was limited, especially with his unorthodox life choices, so showing his love to the people he loved was something that had always came easy to him. 

Until you came along. 

Everytime you entered a room his eyes immediately found yours, and just as they met he would rip them away from you. A blush almost instantly appearing on his cheeks as he stood, quickly and quietly excusing himself. 

For Kugisaki and Fushiguro, it was easy to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Having known Yuuji for quite some time now, they knew what his normal behavior was. And this? This was far from it.

But for you, you were new. Having just met these people days before, so you were convinced that you had done something to offend him, or he just simply didn’t like you. Maybe you stunk? 

Little did you know, his thoughts were the exact opposite. He thought you were gorgeous, your laugh was like music to his ears. Your voice was soothing and beautiful, he could listen to you talk for hours. But this sickly sweet feeling that raised his heartbeat and brought heat to his face was something very new to him. Something he hadn’t really experienced before. 

Sure, he had found girls attractive before, even asked a girl out to their middle school dance. But this was different, this was deeper. It coiled around his bones, squeezing his throat. Made him do things and say things he didn’t want. It was infuriating. 

He groaned into his pillow, his mind tormenting him with a replay of his embarrassing moments in front of you today. He wanted the earth to swallow him whole, or better yet just let Sukuna take over and have him kill him instead. Anything would be better than him continuing to fumble about like this any longer. 

Knowing he wasn’t going to get any sleep anytime soon, he figured he might be able to tire himself out enough to simply pass out due to exhaustion. Hoping it would shut his mind up. Yuuji stood from his bed, putting on some old tennis shoes and throwing a hoodie on. He went out of his dorm and headed for the training rooms. 

He clenched and unclenched his fists all the way there, his mind plagued with you. 

You. You. You.

You were all he ever seemed to think about these days. 

He did some quick stretching, wanting nothing more than to just start the mind-numding activity of punching something over and over and over again. Until his brain was too tired to come up with any new scenarios to torture him with. 

But of course, just as he goes to throw his first punch. He hears an all too familiar voice. 

“Itadori? What are you doing awake?” Your voice echoed off the empty gym walls. He froze, his heartbeat immediately picking up. The blush full force on his cheeks. He couldn’t get his brain and his mouth to cooperate so he just stood there, back facing you. His mouth wide open in shock, he almost wanted to laugh at his sheer luck. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked, after the silence pushed on too long. You words were coated in a thick layer of worry. While you were still sure the boy hated you, and you knew you might be pushing your luck. You didn’t just want to stand there and pretend like nothing was wrong. It was nearly 2 in the morning and here he is, training. Any one in their right mind would be a bit worried. 

“I’m fine…” He managed to choke out, He's such an idiot. What is wrong with him. Why can’t he just speak!

“If you need the training room I can go.” He muttered quickly, turning quick on his feet to walk past you. His eyes glued to the floor, walking with a newfound purpose back to his dorms. 

“No wa-..” But before you could even finish your sentence he was already gone, without even a second glance your way. The doors to the gym slammed shut. And all of a sudden it was just you alone.

You sighed, your head falling forward into your hands as you stood there. You felt embarrassed and a bit ticked. You had tried and tried to rack your brain to figure out if you had done something, anything, to make him this upset. But you realized that you hadn’t had the chance to make him upset because after you had introduced yourself to him, he had been avoiding you like the plague. 

You groaned, stretching your hands over your head. Turning on your heels to head back to your room, a new feeling of determination settling in you. You were going to get to the bottom of this even if its the last thing you do. 

The next morning you rolled out of bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. The interrupted sleep definitely did you no favors, but upon remembering last night's incident you remembered your goal.

To figure Itadori out. 

You both saw each other in class, usually sitting on opposite ends. But today, you were going to be bold. And after whispering about it to Kugisaki, who nodded fervently at your efforts. A glint in her eyes you couldn’t quite name. She sent you off to the empty desk next to his with a whisper, “Gooo…this class is boring anyways!” 

You heard her giggling behind you as you willed away the nerves. He hadn’t come in yet, he had a notorious habit for sleeping in just a little. Not enough for him to be late, but enough for him to be right on time.

He walked in, panting slightly. His hair was a bit all over the place and he was definitely wearing the hoodie he had on last night. When both of your eyes met, he quickly tore them away. Not even giving himself a chance to realize where you were in the room. The realization didn’t strick him until he had sat down and saw you were much closer than you usually were. 

But before he could move, Gojo had walked in. Declaring the start of the lecture, and the start of Yuujis slow and tortuous day. 

To say you were frustrated was an understatement. At every opportunity you had tried to get him alone to talk to him, even flat out asking him “Can I speak to you?” to which he had the audacity to respond with, “I’m actually a bit busy, maybe later?” Even though he very clearly wasn’t doing anything. 

You had sat next to him for each and every class, you even passed him a note! You had gotten yourself as his sparring partner for training, even finding yourself sitting at his, Fushiguro and Kugisaki’s table for lunch. 

Even though all the time you guys had spent together today, he had barely uttered a word to you. And didn’t even think about letting you talk to him.

You wanted to pull your hair out.

Sitting in your last class, next to him of course. You were staring him down, and he seemed the more interested in the lecture than he had ever been before. You knew he was just trying to avoid accidentally making eye contact with you. And it only boiled your blood more. 

What was this guy's issue?!

As Gojo wrapped up the last lecture of the day, an idea popped into your head. And before you could talk yourself out of it, you were reaching for Itadori's hand. Entangling it tightly within your own and leading him very quickly out of the room. You heard Kugisaki yelling some type of encouragement after you, but you didn’t pay it much mind. 

“I- what are you doing?!” Itadori asked behind you, bewildered by your sudden boldness. You didn’t give him the luxury of a response, especially since you didn’t quite know yourself. All you knew was that if he wasn’t going to talk to you of his own accord, you were going to force it out of him. 

You spotted an empty classroom, and before you could think much about it you shoved him inside. Shutting the door behind you and standing infront of it. 

He stood, shocked. His mind blank as he desperately tried to process the events of what just happened. But the warmth of your hand still on his wrist short-circuited his brain to a point where it was beyond function. On instinct, he ripped his wrist from yours as if the touch had burned him. 

“What is your problem with me?” You wanted to sound angry, you wanted to be angry. You were angry a second ago. But now, standing in front of him. You found yourself to be anything but. Your voice sounded weak, soft, sad. It made you cringe. 

This stopped him, pulled him far enough out of his own head to clear the fog of whatever he felt for you to see the situation for what it was. 

He was such an asshole.

“What do you mean? I dont-” You interrupted him with a scoff. “Oh please, you avoid me like I have some disease, you don’t look at me. You went this entire day without saying more than 2 words to me…I just, I don’t understand and look I’m sorry if I offenunmph.” 

Before you could even finish your sentence, you felt warm lips on yours. Slightly chapped, but nice. It felt nice. You reacted almost instantaneously, melting into the kiss. It was sweet, just your lips moving against eachother. 

He pulled away, panting slightly. Out of instinct you leaned forward to follow his lips, he chuckled at you. Resting his head on your forehead instead. “I’m sorry.” He whispered between the shared breaths. His eyes now seemingly to be unable to leave yours. His gaze was overwhelming, for a split second you almost wished he would go back to avoiding you. You didn’t know how much of this you could take. 

Now it was your turn to avoid his gaze, turning your head to the side. You put your hands on his chest, going to push him away from you. Your cheeks turning bright pink as the realization of what just happened settled into the air. 

You laughed forcefully, “All is forgiven! You can go now.” Speaking all too quickly, your tried again to put some distance between you and him. Cursing past you for standing against the door as you now have no place to back up from. He was so close, his hot breath fanning over your already too warm cheeks. 

Silently, he reached his hand to your chin. It felt like a spell had be broken, the shyness and avoidance you had gotten use to these past weeks disappeared as if it had never existed in the first place. 

He turned your head to face his again, “No really, I’m sorry. I’ve been an asshole.” He sounded so sincere it made you sick, his eyes finding yours again. Holding you hostage under the intense gaze. Without thinking, your eyes flicked down to his lips again, quickly looking back up to his eyes. But not quick enough for it to go unnoticed. The small smile that tugged on his lips was all the warning you got before his lips were on yours again. 

This sudden boldness had taken you by surprised, as you were pressed even further against the door. He crowded around you, hand moving from your chin to cup the back of your neck. Keeping your lips pressed against his as they melded together, lips and tongues intertwining. The kiss quickly turned heated as you forced your head back to rest against the door behind you. 

“Let me make it up to you.” 

authors note: IDK GUYS I KINDA ATE WITH THIS :))))) i really do like the way it turned out and i hope you guys do too!!! make sure your taking care of yourselves, much love <3

[eternalera]

we need to talk about mel because out of pretty much everyone in arcane ive been seeing the most drama with her and just... god is it all so fucking stupid. so for the next few paragraphs im gonna be talking about haters of mel, 'defenders' of mel, jayvik, meljayce, and just... everything going on with that because god is it a lot and god is so much of it bullshit and just plain old toxicity. so yeah...

dang still here? alright lets begin.

so first off we're starting with with the haters and defenders of mel and honestly this is some of that dumbest fandom shit ive seen in a while? why? alright let's bring up some argument stuff that ive (and youve most likely) seen before. one of which being that her haters define her as 'problematic' and a villain which is not true well at least not more true than jinx being a villain. jinx is a worse character than mel but people hate on her because 'oh shes supposed to be portrayed as good!' when this was never the case.

in s1 mel was portrayed to be a politician and from what ive gathered she was meant to represent the upper class of piltover and the council members in general (with the exception being heimindinger). she was supposed to be a corrupt and morally ambiguous character just like what? politics, politics are not black or white all of the time. mel strived for her own goals and used people to get there. do you have to like her for this? no. you dont. in fact when i first watched s1 i hated this about her and her relationship with jayce gave me the ick (i did not ship jayvik at all during this time). but we'll get more into that later

now the 'defenders' of mel. where to begin? well first off if you dont like her you get called misogynistic, if you ship jayvik well then youre writing her out and therefore are misogynistic, if you criticize mel for any of her actions guess what you are? yeah misogynistic. they really like throwing that term around for no other reason than mel being a woman. what if she was a guy? would there be a problem with it? and what if people are still doing what they are with mel being a guy? is it still problematic? the answer is most likely no. also the problem with calling people misogynistic is that youre not attacking their argument but them as a person.

thats like if you said '1+1=2' and i went 'no youre stupid' or if i said 'the earth is round' and you told me that i was a conspiracy theorist. youre not attacking the argument but the person themselves. youve done nothing to disprove their argument, sure you called them a mean name but whats that going to do? people hardly ever even argue why thats the case and why its wrong, but they throw around the world mindlessly. i would be fine if people were saying that their argument was misogynistic and therefore they would be misogynistic for supporting it but even then just leave it.

not to mention that mel was written to be morally ambiguous in a sense (in s1 and in s2 she gets better but still is... eh on morals imo) and if you bring this up these 'defenders' will go rabid over you. calling you names and saying how youre 'part of the problem' and that you cant handle a strong female character and this is just by you criticizing them keep in mind. maybe you dont agree with their actions but that doesnt matter to them and its horrendous.

now moving onto jayvik and... yeah it has its issues, i will NOT lie and say that there isnt an unreasonable dislike for mel in certain parts of the community because believe me there is and its almost always uncalled for and their reason is lacking to say the least, once again mel is a complicated character and to put her in a box and say that she's the big bad is entirely and fully unreasonable. ive seen large parts of the fandom also hating on mel just because she 'gets in the way' of jayvik and i guess that this is true but also people do forget something really important

THIS IS ALL FANDOM

SHIP WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT CANON OR NOT ITS NOT MEANT FOR THE CREATORS BUT THE CONSUMERS AKA FANS

whether or not she 'gets in the way' of jayvik in canon (which she really does not as she encourages jayce to spend more time with viktor and viktor and jayce still have a bunch of meaningful scenes together DESPITE her) doesn't matter one bit. your fanon does not need to be canon in order for you to enjoy it. and tons of people tend to gloss past that because they just have to have things their way and then they throw a pissy fit over it. HOWEVER this is not the only drama with jayvik, once again if you ship this rabid mel enjoyers will say how youre misogynistic which... yeah it fucking sucks.

tbh everything with mel has got to be some of the most toxic shit ive ever seen in my life (not worse than mha and ochako but hopefully as a fandom we never get there). because mel enjoyers if they dont ship jayvik tend to ship meljay or jaymel or- whatever its called and since its canon to some extent (they did kinda break up) they will use that as a way to discourage jayvik shippers and once again call them names that do not make any sense to the argument that they are giving as they are just spewing out random ass insults to people who disagree with them

good job internet. proud of ya

NOW MELJAY AND OH BOY DO I HAVE SOME WORDS-

... yeah it was meant to be a morally grey thing. sorry to everyone who looked at it and was like 'omg they care for each other so cute!!!' mel manipulating jayce into a relationship to take advantage of him and get what she wanted is meant to be a bad thing and you wanna know why? CAUSE SHES A COMPLICATED CHARACTER. if i had to place her on the alignment chart id say that shes most likely lawful neutral and on a good day lawful good.

now if you still cant see the problem with mel and jayces relationship lemme do smth called the good 'ol gender swap

theres a smart girl inventing stuff and trying to change the world, a man comes along and supports her endeavor fully, throughout the way makes heavy advances towards her in order to trap her and get her to do what he wants. this happens and in order to trap her even further puts her in a position of power which she knows nothing about and therefore relying more and more on him and his knowledge. advances are made and they fuck but to him she is just an investment. of course as the relationship carries on he might start caring more and more about her but the manipulation never truly leaves

see what makes it so bad? me and my friends talked about this for hours thinking about it and finding out what made us not like the ship in s1 (keep in mind we did NOT ship jayvik only started after their divorce). we loved mel's characters, she's a strong woman a strong character with flaws and she's compelling. but she was never written to do morally good decisions 100% of the time and thats what makes arcane so good ignoring all of this is not understanding mels character or her actions

anyways thats all i have to say. if you disagree or have any other news feel free to share lol and thanks for listening to my rambles <3

[aliceyed]

Perfect

summary: after a shitty date you cry about it to your bestfriend, beomgyu.

warnings: kissing, cursing, horny ass dude.

pairing: bestfriend!beomgyu x fem!reader

genre: bestfriends to lovers

"how do I look?" you said while walking out of the bathroom.

beomgyu who was lying on your bed looked up from his phone, "eh, you look fine."

you rolled your eyes, "you said that about the last 4 outfits can you please help me choose the perfect one." walking over to your vanity table you attempted to fix your hair a little when beomgyu walked over to you tucking stray strands of hair behind you ear.

"okok, im sorry. you looked stunning in all of the outfits, i think even if you wore a trash bag to your date you would look gorgeous."

your stomach did something weird, it always happened when you hung out with beomgyu. you know you probably had feelings for him but there was no chance he liked you back, besides he said he only saw you as a sister. so to cope with this you tried to take your mind off him by going on dates with random guys (really stupid coping mechanism).

coming back to reality you slapped his arm, "stop lying to me."

laughing a bit he replied, "im really not lying, but i think you should go with this outfit." picking up your phone you see your date texted you saying he was already at your door to pick you up. quickly grabbing your bag you rush to your door and compose yourself before opening the door.

your date who shall not be named (im lazy to think of a name), looks you up and down, "looking good babe, ready to go?"

you felt slightly uncomfortable but tried to smile and nod your head.

basically long story short, the date was horrible. you went to a nice restaurant, where your self absorbed date was practically throwing himself at you the whole time trying to kiss you. he just made you feel really uncomfortable the whole time and to top it all off he forgot to bring his wallet and you ended up paying for the whole date. you just wanted to get home.

when the both of you got in his car he put his hand on your thigh, "wanna go back to my place?" at this point you were so done, "what the fuck is wrong with you!" you shouted and ran out of his car and straight to a bathroom and cried it all out. you called beomgyu to come pick you up and from hearning your choked up voice he ran faster than ever to come get you. after calling you to let you know he was outside, you ran out and hugged him tightly.

beomgyu didn't care that your tears were staining his shirt, he hugged you back just as tight softly rubbing your back. seeing you like this after so many dates broke his heart, he couldn't stand to see you like this anymore.

driving you back to your place, he prepared your favourite snacks and your favourite movie to try and lighten your spirits while you changed into more comfortable clothes. when you got out you saw beomgyu in your living room selecting the movie and patting the seat beside him. you still weren't over your awful date and could feel tears threatening to spill out at any time and just started ranting about it all to beomgyu.

"yn why do you do this to yourself? why do you always go out with these jerks and make yourself miserable, i hate seeing you like this."

"you wanna know why beomgyu?" you were going to regret this confession but you couldnt hold in your feelings anymore. "i like you gyu, ive liked you for such a long time but 2 years ago i heard you say you only thought of me as some sort of a sister, and that broke my heart. to try and get over it i started dating these jerks. i really like you and it hurts that youll never feel the same way." tears starting pouring out of your eyes uncontrollably as you quickly try to wipe them away with the back of your hand.

beomgyu was dumbfounded, after all this time because of his stupidity hes been hurting you all these years. he pulled you close to him, holding your face gently and wiping away the tears with his thumbs and embraced you, calming you down.

"yn, ive always liked you too... I was just always scared you wouldn't like me back so i would tell my friends i saw you as a sister even though i liked- heck loved you for so long. it would hurt me to see you go out with so many guys and never asked me once."

it was now

your turn to be dumbfounded, did he really like you back? "please dont tell me this is a joke," you sniffled back a tear. "do i look like im joking?" he held your chin softly and brought your face close to his. you heart was beating a million miles an hour, was this really happening?

he looked into your eyes for any sign of discomfort before leaning in to close the gap between your lips. the kiss was slow and gentle and you loved every second of it. after pulling away you both couldnt help but laugh at the situation, 2 idiots in love for so long but unaware.

you 2 spent the rest of the night cuddling and watching the movie then falling asleep on the couch, the perfect ending for the not so perfect night.

[starlightmeissa]

Hey! I just recently found your Magneto fic and I am absolutely obsessed. Any updates coming in the future?

i’m super glad you enjoyed magneto! this ask has gotten me to finally put a discontinued in the description of magneto. it’s not at ALL because of you in particular, but i’ve realized by putting off adding it to the description i’ll keep giving people false hope. forgive me if i use this ask for a tediously long post describing why exactly i will never update magneto, so i can link it easily for anyone with similar questions in the future. 😭

so. short answer? no. magneto will probably never be updated. i’m really sorry for that. my interests have changed since graduating high school and i don’t really want to write bnha anymore.

long answer?

i started writing magneto pre-pandemic during my junior year of high school. i had seen there was only about a 100 self inserts for bnha at the time and thought “well, if i post something it’ll probably get a lot of attention, since the fandom is growing in popularity a lot and there’s a scarcity here!” 2019 was an interesting year for fanfic in bnha, since it didn't have enough content for the growing eyes looking for it.

i ended up being very correct. too correct. i actively updated magneto over the course of half a year, roughly, and in that time it rapidly climbed in attention. since 2020 ive only updated it about twice(?) and that hasn’t deterred the new readers it’s gotten. i get comments every other day asking about updates.

magneto is currently the most kudo-ed bnha si-oc on the entirety of ao3. which is fucking insane. i don’t think it deserves it, but popularity is rarely about deserving. usually it’s about being just good enough, just novel enough, and being posted at the right time.

but i digress: it doesn’t feel possible for me to update magneto for a variety of reasons.

1) my disinterest in the setting would make any future update disingenuous.

i haven’t been actively into the bnha fandom in about four years now. i don’t really read bnha fic aside from the very occasional si-oc, nor have i kept up with the manga or anime. the only fic i’ve ever written for the fandom is magneto, and it’ll probably always be my only fic for the fandom. (watch me say that and be wrong in the next few years LMAO)

it would be really rude of me to stomp into a space i don’t even like anymore and post something lackluster and lacking in passion. especially with the express intention of gaining more engagement from readers. like it or not, magneto IS the most popular si for bnha, and i think i drive attention away from better books by updating and inadvertently preserving that position in the ranking.

I can't believe no one has written any "self-insert as Bakugou" fanfics yet what a bunch of cowards by the_incidental_author and i have jostled back and forth for that #1 kudo-ed spot for the past five years. which i admit has been fun, but i would very much like for them to overtake me. it’s clear (to me, at least) that they actually enjoy writing bnha more than me and update more often to boot.

i fully welcome ANY fic to take magneto's position at this point, if only so that less people comment how poorly written it is. which leads me into my next point.

2) my writing style has SIGNIFICANTLY changed over the past five years.

when i do my yearly reread of magneto i actively cringe and have to resist the urge to rewrite every chapter in a separate google doc. in any hypothetical world where i do add to magneto, i do a complete rewrite. in no particular order, the things i would change are:

kenzo being defined by three character traits and nothing else. her exhaustion, her mild spite for her father, and her aimless wandering through the plot

better grammar. dear god the grammar errors. dear god the SPELLING ERRORS

the pov characters being more developed and feeling more like Individual People with their own personal motivations and histories that are not defined by what the plot needs from them (cough, reacting to how cool kenzo is)

not just recapping each anime episode and stating what kenzo would do in that situation

placing greater focus on the way quirk society discriminates against those with undesirable quirks and backgrounds. what does it really mean to be the child of a criminal in a world where people assume that sort of thing is hereditary?

kenzo's classmates should've been more classist in general, especially in relation to quirk discrimination. UA is a school only the most wealthy and powerful get into, there's no way there wouldn't be social disconnects that create tension between a dead eyed daughter of a villain and more than a few nepo babies.

if you have any interest in naruto, skyrim, asoiaf or dragon age you've probably read my more recent fics. fluffy clouds and a tinge of wonder, the fic i have updated the most this year, is a really good example of how significantly my writing has evolved since starting magneto in 2019. my technical skill and style have changed enough that it just would be tonally jarring for me to update magneto without outright rewriting everything.

like. im being so fr with you right now, i didn't learn how to start outlining until about a YEAR AGO. magneto was written on a chapter by chapter basis with little idea of where exactly it was going. i implied that there would be a future confrontation between kenzo and her father, but i didn't have any idea of HOW that would occur or even what the consequences of it would be.

adding to magneto as it is would be like trying to add a sleeve to a shirt that's missing it's entire back panel and most of it's front. i'd be playing catch up with the plot and end up having to rewrite previous chapters anyways.

3) bnha commentors have been kind of really mean to me compared to other fandoms i've written for LMAO

ok. please don't draw and quarter me for this. MOST commentors have been extremely complimentary, and kind. besides the occasional bomb of like seven comments in my inbox of ten hearts from one user (which, sweet, but please don't do that) the bnha fandom has been totally fine.

but a very small minority have been really pushy about making me update a fic i have clearly not touched in two years, and realistically haven't actively updated in four. from comments just saying "wow this is great. update soon." to DETAILED reviews of how bad my fic is and how they can't believe how garbage like magneto is so popular.

which like. i don't feel personally attacked by? i fully agree that magneto is bad for the previously stated reasons. i wouldn't read magneto if i were a casual reader and hadn't written it. usually the second kind of comment really annoys me because of it's presumption of importance and for how soul crushing it would have been for sixteen-year-old me to read.

bnha as a fandom, especially in recent years, has felt more and more like they treat fic like something that is created in a vacuum. souless content that exists for readers to consume. the comments don't go to an inbox, they go to a void, so really it doesn't matter if i say something really belligerent to an author i don't know about a Self Insert Fanfic They Wrote In Between Rehearsals For Their High School Play.

but whatever. if it had just been me experiencing that i would've written it off as like just my fic, but a close friend and frequent cowriter of mine Reavv has dealt with this a lot more than me.

they wrote It's a like a time travel comedy, without the comedy, another very popular bnha fic, and had to private it because people were going to their other UNRELATED fics and badgering them to update it. people still go into their comments insisting they unprivate it, oblivious to the fact that every time they ask it adds another year to reavv's internal timer for when they will.

a combination of my own experiences and reavv's have completely put me off of writing bnha i'll be fr. even if i was still in the fandom, the majority of my fics will always be about fucking dragon age and skyrim. i do not want random bnha fans coming into my dragon age fics and, AFTER NOT READING THE FIC, saying that since im active i should clearly update my bnha fics. that's a nightmare scenario for me.

in conclusion

i am so glad that people like magneto, i'm glad that i wrote magneto. the initial jump in readers i got from magneto gave me the confidence to write other fics, and the alternating pov format is a staple of most of my writing now. some of the comments i got for that magneto when i was a teenager were the only things that kept my ass going.

but magneto is never being updated. i don't even think it's gonna be rewritten. i really am sorry about that, but it is what it is. thank you for reading it, thank you for loving it, thank you for feeling ambivalent about it. good talk.

btw to the original asker, again. this is NOT a rant directed at you, you just inspired some Thoughts in me and i had to let them loose.

[gisellecnz]

Hello everyone, I just want to confess something... I just felt like I did the most worst crime ever. (I'm sorry if how I'm writing this whole thing looks immature? and also on how I've been using wrong words to use. 😭) And it is something I want to start avoiding from now on.

As you can see, I am a minor. Yes a minor, probably way younger than you think... 😭 (but not too young though. I just don't want to tell my actual age.) (And also please continue reading before you do anything)

Ever since pandemic, its where people have been quarantined inside their homes for like, 2-3 years, right? And because of that most people do then was just be on their phones all the time.

I also did that–and now I've been exposed and influenced to a lot of things especially on social media. (I had unrestricted internet access ever since I was a kid)

I currently think about it a lot of times now, and it's actually so bad about how I got exposed by a bunch of things...even though I was so young. (like dirty jokes, etc.) And I think I have grown up way too fast... You can see it in how I typed in my other posts, and it's now how I naturally type. 😭

(Okay, I don't know how to explain this part well... Generally, I'm very bad at explaining. But I hope you guys somehow understand 😭. ) (Please ask me questions if there are things you don't quite understand, I don't really elaborate well when it comes to these stuff)

That was also the time i grew an obsession over anime. And I also had crushes on anime characters to the point I figured out people wrote fics about them. Like, "[character name] x reader" and then boom I figured about smut.. Pls 😭 I really didn't care about the "mdni" warning back then. (I don't know if I'm using this term right, but it's something like I got hypersexual? I'm sorry, but I think it's just something similar to that.)

And now I've become a writer as my hobby, I downloaded tumblr almost a year ago so that I could post my works and also read others fics.

And ever since yesterday i had realized something 😭. And I am so sorry about my behavior on this. Even though I'm not in the right age yet, I still readed smut. And smut is like.. Considered porn right? And most of the authors I follow, or people ive talked to in tumblr are like around 19+. Others are even in college and have their own jobs too. And one of my favorite authors is like 12 years older than me. And some authors I follow also write smut. I also ignored mdni parts in their works. 😭

So this is basically what happened (because I am very bad at explaining so I just put it like in a story way):

I am a minor who reads smut, which are only intended for adults. I knew it wasn't appropriate for me but I just brushed it off.

And then one day when I realized I was talking to older people, something clicked in my mind 😭. They are ADULTS. They are in the appropriate age to read smut. (I mean, of course, but I just brushed it off back then.) Then they had "mdni" in their bio. So, that realization made me uncomfy 😭. It's like I made a really huge crime. And I've also become an author on this app, I can't just go on without telling the truth. From now on I'll try to avoid reading smut. Guys it's basically like you're an toddler who suddenly gained consciousness

Again, I am very very sorry for just brushing off the mdni back then 😭. But I'll still continue to read the sfw ones only.

To the other authors there who write sfw and nsfw, please I promise you that I will only read the safe ones now and not the nsfw anymore. 😔 

But it is definitely okay if you want to block me. Thank you for reading this whole explanation! I've learn my lesson now 😭

I just readed this whole thing again and I realized how messy it looked... But either way I can't change it because its the most best way I explained this 😔

[championlvrs]

“ i love you ”

ethan landry x fem!reader

summary - ethan saying “i love you” for the first time in the 2 year relationship

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warning(s) - kissing

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genre - fluff / sfw

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a/n - hey y’all, so like this is my first ever story written on tumblr so bare w me 💀 ive never really been good at writing stories but its entertaining so yeah ! don’t make fun of me if its shit please 😞 and thank u ! enjoy ?? 🤞 and this is before the ghostface attacks + lowercase is intended !!

—

—

i decided to skip econ because i didn’t feel up to it. i’m watching my favorite show when suddenly i hear the door swing open, “ethan” i think to myself.

ethan and i were dorm mates and we have been dating for about 2 years now. i’ve never been happier. he’s so intelligent, funny, and his personality makes everything 100x better. i’ve been meaning to tell him that i love him but i don’t wanna move too fast.

i jump out of my bed and make my way to ethan, who i can tell was having a horrible day just by the look on his face and how he was just sitting on the sofa staring into outer space. “hi baby” i say while sitting down next to him, startling him, also attempting to hug him. he hugs me back tiredly and says, “hey” with a stiff and tired tone. “what’s wrong babe?” i ask him. “no nothings wrong, don’t worry about anything pumpkin.” “babe, i know you and i know something’s wrong, please just talk to me.”

he looks at me with teary eyes and starts to sob. i pull him into a hug and he puts his face into the crook of my neck. i start to play with his curls and say, “its okay, let it out, let it out.”

after a couple minutes of comforting, ethan starts to calm down. once he looks up at me, i take his face in my hands and ask him, “wanna talk about it?” he slightly shakes his head, “not really, just had a really bad day at econ.” “that’s okay my love, for the rest of the night, we can watch your favorite movies and order take out? how does that sound?”

he smiles at me and hugs me tight. “thank you so much y/n. you have no idea how much i care for you and id do anything for you. i love you.”

i love you. those three words kept repeating in my head. ethan landry just told me he loves me. my everything just told me he loves me. my love just told me he loves me. my was spinning.

ethan sees the look on my face and then says, “sorry if im moving too fast, i hope this doesn’t change anyth-“ i cut him off by kissing him. it was a soft, passionate kiss. we both pull away to breath, and then i say, “i love you too ethan landry.” he smiles and kisses me again.

after about 5 minutes, we both decide to organize, change into our matching pjs, order ethans favorite take out, and watch some of his favorite movies. once we both got tired, we went to ethans room and got into bed. we got comfortable in our positions, my head laying on ethans chest while his hand is in my hair. im about to fall asleep until i hear ethan start talking,

“thank you for this night y/n. i love you so much and just.. thank you for everything. you mean the world to me.”

i blush from that. “you don’t have to thank me for anything ethan, im your girlfriend, that’s what im here for my love. and i love you too ethan.” i say while quickly going to give him a peck on the lips. he smiles as i go back into my position and we doze off listening to each others soft breaths.

[millionmaggots]

did/osdd/posdd/etc havers, can i mayhaps get ur opinion on something please?

i havent rlly been posting abt it bc the plural/system space online is HELLA SCARY with all the fakeclaiming n discourse n shit, but im realizing i proooobably have some kind of dissociative shit going on 😭

- can't remember the first 10 years of my life with any detail, then it gets a little clearer until age 15 or so when i can remember pretty well / maybe normally (idk what normal really is tho)

- i lose hours at a time

- i don't have distinct people in my head except for this one lady who's basically the ceo of violent / upsetting intrusive thoughts (i don't think i experience switching)

- but i do have a very disorganized train of thought, with a lot of different things going on at once / overlapping (i also have adhd tho)

- ive heard voices (that don't sound like me) on and off since i was like 8 or 9

- ^ i got tested for schizophrenia and i do not have it

- my parents get annoyed with me bc apparently i take / move their stuff, but i often have no memory of doing it, and little/no reason to have done it, despite evidence that i did. i usually just say that although i have no memory of doing it, i guess i did and im sorry. this one happens probably at least weekly and causes me a lot of distress bc it's scary being told that i did something i don't remember / wouldn't do

- people (esp my parents) sometimes tell me im acting off / different, and it's really confusing, bc as i see it, im always acting like myself

- i have a history of acute dissociation / depersonalization, especially when i was working a rlly stressful job

- i have an absolute dogshit short term / working memory

- i space out and fail to process things ALL THE TIME, especially auditory information. i need about 20% of everything said to me repeated.

- i get inexplicable feelings of dread from things i have no (conscious) emotional connection to

- i have cptsd symptoms and at least 2 distinct triggers associated with bad experiences ive had

- accidentally called myself a 'we' when talking to my psych? i remember everything about the appointment except the context around why i would've made that mistake

- like i said, i have adhd, and my adderall helps me focus, but doesn't do anything for my general inattentiveness / spacing out / forgetfulness

- my childhood was like. fine? in terms of like parents/housing/money/friends/etc, but i grew up not knowing my gender identity or that im disabled, and i had a severe undiagnosed anxiety disorder dismissed by adults as me being "shy" and "sensitive" so there was a constant ever present feeling that i was just inherently a bit off / wrong / broken

- nothing bad was directly done to me when i was little (as far as i know?) but i was, in hindsight, emotionally abused by my principal and homeroom teacher all throughout middle school (severe depression and anxiety, i was told to "stop being so negative" or i would be put in a different classroom without any of my friends <- the people who helped me and made me feel at least a little bit safe)

tl;dr: if anybody w osdd/did, etc, took the time to read all this, i would REEEEALLY appreciate u guys giving all this a sniff test 😭 not asking 4 a diagnosis obvs just kinda a peer review

i have a psych appointment abt this in about a month but in the meantime i would love to hear from systems who know abt this kind of thing. what do u guys think is up?

(PLEASE don't drag syscourse over here bc i know it'll just make everything im dealing with worse and more confusing /gen /srs)

[not-so-daily-rtgame-miitopia]

day 100!

i thought i would finish off this mini-series with the main man himself! here is i want die :] (10/10)

gonna talk about what my plans for this blog are next under the cut

so uh. i havent been too happy running this blog lately.

between days 40 and 50 i had posted all the screenshots i had saved up, which meant for the next 50-60 days i was forcing myself to watch the rtgame miitopia series to find posts for this blog. now dont get me wrong, i love rtgames miitopia playthrough and all its characters still - its just that forcing yourself to watch something every day for 2 months straight makes you resent it a bit, y'know?

so with that, i'm gonna be taking an indefinite hiatus, until i can comfortably watch my special interest without feeling forced to. this blog wont be inactive forever, but i doubt itll ever be in full swing for 100+ days ever again.

i did think about opening up mod applications so that the blog isnt on my shoulders alone, but ive never managed that kind of thing before and i feel as though it would be too stressful for me. if you do have any ideas for any posts, feel free to put in any submissions or asks! they are always open, and i likely will keep posting these if i get any :]

thank you all for the support ive gotten on this blog! i just noticed that ive hit 50 followers, which is unfortunate considering whats about to happen LMFAO- but thank you all the same!

so uh. yeah. tldr this blog is going on hiatus bc ive been forcing myself to keep it going and it isnt fun for me anymore 👍

[achoshistor]

final fantasy 7

spoilers for everything idk (ff7, remake&dlc, crisis core but only till like chapter four because thats how far i made it)

bro ive been tweaking out for like three months now. i bought the ff7 remake bc it was 50% off a few months ago and I was like I'm never gonna find a deal like this ever again (only for it to go on 50% again lmfao) but ok whatever it was literally 35 for the game and the dlc which is one million times cheaper than what splatoon 2 and octo expansion were and its ok because i can never own it physical anyways but bro I didn't even want to buy this game in the first place i was gonna buy ffxv cause i saw a clip of notcis or whatever that guys name is putting his lettuce on a nother guy's plate and i was like "wtf is final fantasy even about" SPOILER ALERT: TERRORISM like ????

i feel like i can never every play another game after finishing the remake and the intermission i bought crisis core reunion and theres literally LESS fighting in that game so far but it was also cheaper and i got it physical (after scouring ebay for two months to find a us edition because i dont want to even risk seeing things spelled in the british way because last time when that happened when I played great ace attorney 1&2 i couldn't stop spelling things in british every time i'd write an essay and then i couldnt tell what was wrong "its just an extra letter" no bro its messing up my diction) but anyways please just let me beat things up with a sword i wish people still used swords to fight then the fights would be more fair and the world would be a better place. but man sephiroth is lowkey a nice guy and the crashout was 100% valid not the killing people part but i would also crash out if i found out my mom was actually some 2000 year thingy they found in the ground. today i saw some snowflakes fall (they were the big ones) and freaked out for a second because i thought they were white feathers (I NEED TO GO OUTSIDE)

i also "finished" (AKA gave up right before the final boss) the original ff7 because i didnt want to deal with spoilers cause the main plot points should be the same anyways but i don't have enough patience to play retro games (the last one i finished was kirby super star three years ago) and they are like ten times harder than modern games too like i think i only got 10 game overs max in the remake but like one hundred million in the original and i was like at this point i dont even care anymore like we just need to beat sephiroth right? speaking of i really did think we just had to beat sephiroth and that he was just evil for the love of the game because all i knew was from that smash bros trailer but really everything is hojos and lowkey lucrecia's fault bc theyre bums like are you jealous of vincent or something how do you get a girl who's literally just broken up with this guy pregnant like no time bro literal bum activity im glad vincent was able to beat up hojo at the end. he was also my strongest party member (and had the hardest spell post out of all of them).

i was lowkey tweaking when i saw genesis cause i thought something seemed awfully familiar lo and behold hes just evil gackt. i saw a picture of some genshin character's sword and i was like holy sigma is that genesis rhaspodos but nope it was some genshin twink this is off topic but i HATE how like half of the characters in genshin look like children/teenagers and the other half are either whitewashed (brighter than printer paper) or have the most awful color scheme like unpleasant gradient just showed up to your door. i kept thinking angeal was named angelo because ive only ever met people named angelo and not angeal but so far his story seems too similar to sonons. zack = onika angeal = burgers OH his name is angeal like angel LMFAo

I barely edit my tumblr posts for coherence sorry if youre not one of my like 4 followers but anyways episode intermission gave me a genuine crash out. I was like "who is yuffie" but then i found out. yuffie is my goat. i hate fort condor and i still hate fort condor but i didnt know there was a literal fort with a condor on it. i was out of it bro i have nobody here that may hear this and i will be ashamed i genuinely couldnt pay attention to the game cuz of sonon hes so fine bro too bad he DIED bro i even felt bad for nero cause they forcefully made him shut up with that muzzle thing but as per usual he was a bum but theres no second part to the dlc (yet) 40 dollar 32 gb ram stick please find me (my computer will blow up) before rebirth comes out (my computer will blow up regardless) like watch the requirements be some esoteric classified government only processor like the ryzen 56 or intel i5412 like u gotta play it on one of those government super computers so the game doesnt lag the minute you start walking.

ok im done ive exhausted myself thank u for coming to my ted talk see u later my little minions

[bulbabutt]

hhhhhhh lemme just vent about something im real ashamed about that i feel i gotta get off my chest as a uh. process of grief?

so like. two of my pets died back in april right? 2 weeks apart to the day. first the cat, then the dog. and its been uhh... miserable. hard to grapple with still to this day. shit feels bad for everyone, but like the real issue is the one pet we still have?

shes not the pet anyone would have wanted to be the survivor. like. its not her fault, shes just not and never was anyones favourite. she also has her own health issues and stuff, so it was just... a shock, to say the least. shes the last one left but shes not as cuddly as the other cat was, or as in need of attention as much as the dog. shes just... not who anyone would have chosen to survive. but thats not how life or death work i guess. you dont get to choose that kind of thing, loss of control over things. idk.

and shes very much my cat, and that feels bad. like she likes me more than everyone else and yet even i wouldnt have picked her to be the last one left. i was already struggling since moving to somewhere completely unfamiliar, feeling kind of suffocated by the idea that i had these two cats i begged for at 20 and then i was stuck with them for the foreseeable future while barely being able to handle being a person whos alive right now. and then one of them died and i realized how fucked up that was of me to ever think, and now its worse cuz i think i wouldnt have wanted her as much. and i still cant deal with her as much. its hard. dreams about the other one, dreams that i have to remind myself arent real when i wake up cuz hes still gone despite my brain forgetting it still. like uhhhh waking up talking to myself where im literally telling myself hes dead without realizing thats whats happening.

and then hhhhh the dog. that big stupid untrained mess of a dog, everyones best friend. its really hard to be without that dog, he was everyones first dog. but my mother wants a new one and i just cant deal with that concept at all, that was the dog. but then when he died we were so fucking. fresh off the tail of losing the cat its taken so much longer to process. so its been so much worse about the idea of a new dog recently cuz i just dont fucking want that at all. that guy was like... like he was never my dog, i didnt walk him, but you know. big stupid thing who was always in my face when i was home alone. he was hug sized, patient. you could cry into that dog with ease. thats what he was.

so really i just fucking. i stare at my cat i still have whos still here and i just think. why you. why are you all i have left. i resent her, its not fair, but i do. she cries for attention and i just shut her out cuz i cant deal with it half the time its too much. and i know shes probably lonely but i just cant fucking deal with it, and everyone else is obviously trying to put more of their love into her and thats good she needs other people more than me cuz all i see is the wrong cat. which is stupid cuz shes not, she was the first choice cat, but shes just... not him. i dont know.

fucking. pet loss is a mess grief is a mess and people think its easier than it is. its been fucking 6 months and yet i am still just as fucked up about it as i was and who can deal with that.

so maybe ive stopped being so nice in general, started being selfish, stopped making things for other people. started being weird. i dont know. i dont know why im even saying this shit, i just know immmmmmm you know. not dealing.

but maybe as mean as my thoughts are someone else needs to hear em to feel like their own feelings are normal. i think my thoughts might be more normal than i think, its just shameful to fucking say them at all. idk.

[thenightwinggraveyard]

how i find banger fics on AO3

tips and tricks by yours truly

are you an avid ao3 reader like myself? do you ever find yourself at a loss for what to read next and unable to find anything worth your time? well worry no longer (hopefully!), because i'd like to share some ways i filter through the endless amount of fics to find ones i like;

SORT BY KUDOS

while doing this isn't foolproof and it leaves underrated fics out of the equation, it is generally a good starting point. most fics that have a lot of kudos, do so for a reason after all.

2. EXCLUDE WHAT YOU DONT LIKE

this is a feature i wasn't really utilizing until recently, but it has saved me so much effort. when your on a fandom, tag, or pairing, you can exclude whatever ticks you off and make finding a good fic easier. for example, sometimes i go on my favourite tags, like time travel, and find that it is mostlyyyy clogged up with harry potter or mha and im just not feeling it that day; well i simply exclude it.

3. MAKE NOTE OF/JOT DOWN WHAT YOU'D LIKE

what i mean by this, is whenever you think about a specific character or pairing/dynamic, fandom, etc.. during the day or when doing something else and find yourself craving that content, a good idea would be to write that down for later on your notes app or something, and specifically search for it later on. otherwise, sometimes when faced with the damning ao3 search bar you forget everything you like and your entire personality. ive certainly been there.

4. MARK FOR LATER

whenever you see a fic that you don't really feel like reading at the moment, but know you could like, you can hit the mark for later button. i find it much easier then having endless numbers of open tabs that you cant sort through.

5. SEARCH COLLECTIONS

i like to go to my favourite fics i previously read and look through the collections that have that fic saved to them and browse. i have a collection of my own where i save my fav fics if you feel like checking that out!

6. SEARCH THROUGH OTHER MEDIA

going on tiktok or tumblr and searching the #fanfiction or #fanficrec tags can be a lifesaver. better yet, when you find tumblr masterlists of recs.

7. CHECK OUT AUTHORS OTHER WORKS

this ones self explanatory; if you really like a fic, try checking out the authors other works in the case that you find them just as good.

8. ASK FRIENDS!!!

you dont no HOW much i bombard my friends by asking them for recs, and ive found some really good ones through them. you can even ask mutuals, anyone on discord if you have it, etc...

LASTLY,

9. BE PICKY

this one is a bit redundant but its something i often find myself wishing i had done earlier. if your reading a fic and something about it just isnt right for you, be that the writing style, the chracetrization, etc... don't feel like you need to continue. theres nothing wrong with just dropping shit when it gets too boring or when its not tickling your fancy, otherwise you may end up putting so much time into a work that leaves you upset/frustrated, and thats no fun. seriously, i have spent hundreds of thousands of words on fics that left me hating my life and not because of how good it was written ill tell you that.

[burrowkit]

My Cat is a Flight Risk at the Vet

So, my cat is a very intelligent cat. Yes, I do realize cats in general are very smart, but sometimes... my cat is too smart.

As the standards, she likes to converse with us (we tell her about something and she talks back and we go back and forth, less so in her old age). She can tell time and knows what day we plan to return home from a weekend away (with her, she cannot be left home alone).

I can't remember if I've told much of her story, so I'll just do it here.

So, my cat knows how to open sliding doors/pocket doors. She doesn't always open them, but she can open them if she wants to open them.

My vet has sliding doors for their exam rooms.

Anyways, pre-covid, this wasn't as big of a deal. Miss Cat was only ever in the rooms with both my mom and I (usually it was the two of us, because she doesn't travel very well, but hates being home alone more... anyways. So messes need to be cleaned up, and someone needs to constantly watch my cat).

When covid hit, they put in the rule of "drop the cat off from outside" thing. Okay, it was pretty cool.

But, they would, I guess, leave the pet in the exam room unattended or something. Likely for a few seconds to grab something, then return (as was standard when their pet owners came in).

Anyways, every time I dropped her off, I would remind them that she's a bit of a flight risk. She's not trying to escape the building itself per say... no, she's been known to try and break into the back rooms (there are 2 doors on the exams. One to the front, one to the back).

Anyways, she's kind of escalated her events there. One time she refused to eat, and the vet came out (this time we were allowed in the waiting area, not in the room) to tell her she did eat the cat treats, so I think the decision was she just was going on her regular hunger strikes. When we finally get her back, the vet informs us that thank goodness he got back in the room when he did... she was 2 seconds away from getting into the treat jar!

She also had a stroke a couple of years ago now, I guess. We had left her home alone (with food and water) and she freaked herself out over it enough. So, we dropped her off at the emergency vet with the "she's a notorious escape artist. Do NOT trust her alone".

My usual vet at the time would wave the warning off, but these peeps took it seriously.

They call us with an update later that evening and informed us that thank goodness we did warn them. She was hooked up with the IV or whatever, they were prepared, and she still almost escaped.

{The final of that story was the next day they called with a "she's probably done", since she was disoriented and wasn't engaged with life and such. They had us show up in case it was her missing us, and she saw us and perked right back to life. She was promptly discharged. The final final part of that: she had to be taken off blood thinners due to how stressing they were for her and making her hate life and everyone around her. This cat's a pet or be pet cat. If she won't go near any humans for weeks on end, then that's a major problem}

Since then, my local vet office does take the Escape Artist warnings seriously (I suspect they had other issues, and now they all know how sneaky she can be).

Anyways.

Maybe this is one of those cases where I'm saying she's smart when this is just average cat intelligence. But...

I love her.

She may hate travelling, but she'd rather be with us than left alone. And, she often will accept said travelling if she knows she'll be with everyone she loves.

She absolutely has, in a recent trip to the vet, informed me I was getting off at the wrong exit (as I usually drop her off at my parents' which is another exit later, and my mom drops her off, because I start work 30 minutes away at 8am, and she needs to be dropped off by 8am).

[crow-in-a-teapot]

unreal unearth first impressions

OKAY REALISING I AM RELISTENING TO THIS ALBUM FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME JUST TODAY ACCIDENTALLY SO IIM GONNA QUICKLY WRITE DOWN MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS BC IM ALREADY BEGINNING TO ACTUALY THINK ABOUT THINGS AND LOOK AT LYRICS AND READ OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS, so here is an only slightly tainted not quite first impression of unreal unearth from me (obviously the singls ive heard before but)

de selby (part 1) i turned on the album sitting in the absolute dark, ten minutes past twelve at night, this started playing, cue instant tears. i think i was just hit with 'this is the most beautiful thing ive ever heard' and i wasn't expecting that from de selby 1 for some reason. and when the irish kicked in that just. no words, just crying and im what two minutes in. i wasn't even thinking about what he'd been saying about connemara in the dark and mirrors of people you used to know (i'd seen him talk about it, but purposefully skipped the actual song when it came up online) it was just. de selby 1. and the part as gaeilge

de selby (part 2) sexy groovy silly fun, it's really growing on me, thinking about 'i'd still know you, not being shown you

i only need the workin' of my hands' also i cant wait to read third policeman and look at this completely differently

first time the beginning was jarring, and then at the lyric about his name i kind of :( i also liked the lethe/liffey parallel, it's so very hozier of him to do that. god the push and pull of there must have been something off from the beginning? if every time they called him baby he died? something like that was my first interpretation, now im wondering if it's because it's not his name and they're the one that made his name sound wonderful for once. intellectualising that part of the lyrics kind of ruins it for me ngl, i think it's more about how it feels, i think it feels like contrast like not knowing if it hurts or is wonderful. little detail of when he says come here to me and it sounds so casual and irish like come here to me tell me, i really love it. and the final lyric hurt. really impeccable timing for a breakup album like

francesca why can't i listen to i'd tell them put me back in it for the first time again WHY CAN'T I LISTEN TO I'D TELL THEM PUT ME BACK IN IT FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN AND REEXPERIENCE THAT. my favourite thing from this hozier era might just be that music video (over all the other ones help)

i, carrion (icarian) is just really devastating. sunlight but what if you wanted your heart to be torn to shreds. the imagery is so vivid

eat your young is growing on me too, the lyrics are just so good. they're just SO GOOD, their rhythm is so satisfying they fit together so smoothly, and at this point it's just as fun and danceable as something like de selby 2

damage gets done is kind of pop? it made me think of the bones ft marren morris

who we are [had to remove a section here] the vocals are otherwordly. the drums are gorgeously frantic. quietly it slips through your fingers love??? falling from you drop by drop??? HOLD ME LIKE A KNIFE???makes me physically ache

son of nyx i'm so glad this is here, an instrumental was something that really could put me back to where i was mentally with de selby (part 1). first thing i thought was i can't wait to learn the piano part. i've seen people say this, but it does seem like the obvious, it's an instrumental that just belongs in a movie

all things end all things do end so real. very cool how much of a direct inflence gospel music is

to someone from a warm climate (uiscefhuarithe) i can't wait to relisten to this one again and again, the parallels between being a child warming up a bed and jumping to later in time with a lover aaaa so tender NATURAL AS ANOTHER LEG AROUND YOU IN THE BEDFRAME AAAA

butchered tongue A FAVOURITE A FAVOURITE foreigner's god but softer, how can i listen to this and ever leave ireland how can i listen to this and feel like this and be packing suitcases what is wrong with meeeeee. the violin and the instrumence. jesus christ. instantly picturing my road signs when he started singing about the native ones

anything but THIS SONG STARTED AND I INSTANTLY STARTED SMILING COMPLETELY INVOLUNTARILY, THOUGHT OF ALMOST (SWEET MUSIC) i started thinking of bright lion king imagery before he even started talking about stampedes and hoofbeats. and the vocals here too, so overwhelmed by how cheerful and joyous it sounded that i really didnt pay attention to lyrics, so it'll be cool to look deeper later

abstract (psychopomp) the production here i was very unsure about, because there was something that made me think if it were more rustic/intrumental and less modern, it might have hit me even harder, like there might have been a way to elevate it further. it made me think of colours and purples and reds and oranges, another really visual song, like i, carrion. it's really gorgeous. SEE HOW IT SHINES will be in my head for a long long time... ugh it's all so bittersweet and sad and beautiful. all my love and terror there balanced between those eyes what a line

unknown / nth if you've scrolled through my accunt for longer than a second you know how i feel about unknown / nth

first light i was hit with such intense terror that this was the last song of the album. what am i supposed to do for the next decade without music to look forward to while andrew goes back into hibernation under bray train station jean jacket lost and found or whatever. so i didnt play and instead did this musing on how beautiful the vocals throughout the album are and how funny it was in the zach sang interview when he talked about singing instead of playing instruments when recording songs because he's 'better at singing than most intruments' and his producer just wouldnt replace those voice recordings and that's why there are so many choirs and zach is basically like 'you absolute weirdo no one else has the talent to do that but ok' (affectionate) (paraphrasing). i love the drums so much. i love the strings so much too. A VOICE YOUR BODY JUMPS TO CALLING OUT YOUR NAME :(((((((((((( imagining hearing this in the 3arena and having colours break out across the whole ceiling ill remember those lights during no plan in 2019 forever im an indoor concert girlie forever what they can do visually is so magical.. i saw a good omens edit of this today already i love you good omens fans

not to sound like a broken record i wish swan upon leda and through me the flood and love of were on this and maybe even but the wages and