#and i feel like what theyre doing wouldve worked better with a game that was Not so so connected to its original specific mood

[risaonda]

final input before I fall asleep I think it is so so so funny that like. watching this playthrough seeing they kept the sh4 references in I did have a moment where I was like. tbh I hope that by remaking this game instead of starting with the first one, that implies they aren't going to remake 3 either. I think they should ignore 3 completely. but I think a sh4 remake would actually go hard as hell

[herboretum]

since i’m full of hatred and negativity i will be answering this

(to emphasize Like these are just nuances and inconsistencies i’ve found with myself and the fandom Like genuinely idrgaf i could care less about any of the points i will make in retrospect)

the anthropomorphization of unpleasant from this fandom has genuinely WRECKED its character and made it. not that unique compared to the other npcs. like i dont know it being this like fucking gooner-type character is so awful? and i really hate it? if anything that trope given to unpleasant should have stayed with scag and ended with her, since she’s a genuine npc with more writing and thoughts attached

i saw people bring up this point again and im glad but HELLO!!!!! LETS STOP JUST ASSOCIATING LAMPERT AS WALLTER AND MARK'S SON? EVEN WHEN IT HAS BEEN DISCREDITED /MULTIPLE/ TIMES? like DAMN this fandom only attributes characteristics if it is attached to literally anyone else besides that person. its horrible. people NEED to learn to find the balance between having fun with that headcanon while also acknowledging lampert as his own separate person that is (to be quite frank) not even associated with them that much in canon

(+ people saying that the headcanon of lampert being wallmark's son is canon and fucking REPLYING saying to people who ship wallter & lampert or mark & lampert that they shouldn't. you are fucking embarrassing)

more of a fandom thing but yall ship too much lmfaoo. like guys i promise, you can interpret some of these relationships as genuine friendships i promise you'll live. can we stop with the rhetoric that just because two characters have good dynamics with each other that means that theyre in love (heavily side-eyeing protoscag and lampfected and milby dare i say)

the regretevator fandom is EXACTLY like the phighting fandom with how shipping is handled. i mean this in not a positive way

people gotta stop relying on the wiki for information man. so much lore from yeucc's tumblr has been retconned and at this point, when there's now WRITERS for the game that are actually keeping tabs, all if not the good majority of what is said on the wiki should be taken with a grain of salt. nowadays the lore is unpredictable, and only a select few (by few i mean like. 4 out of the 17 npcs) has had their lore expanded on significantly

general facts i think is fine so long as theres an annotation backing it but my point still stands . moreso with lore generally

also saw this point being brought up in the qrts but the demonization and infantilization of certain characterss (cough spud pilby pest and poob) is like. wild. i dunno i can't say much since i'm very fortunate enough to not have seen that much but my god is it prevalent from what people are saying

with pest especially since he has npd and aspd i do think that. people generally associating him as evil has NOT been the greatest thing, especially since it reduces him to a stigma of people with personality disorders which is horrific and terrifying. idk what goes on in the background but i feel like the fandom + yeucc & the people working on regretevator should have done more research on the disorders and consulted people who do have these issues better instead of using those labels haphazardly

another thing i will and always will be vocal (dog on) about the axosun team is them keeping gnarpy. like there was no reason to keep xem in other than for revenue gain let's be honest and True to ourselves. the philosophy "ohh but you can separate the art from the artist!!!!" i feel does not really apply to this scenario cause xe got a whole ass revamp despite the obvious fact that it STILL is gnarpy, a character created by a bad person regardless of the ownership change and discredited history. its the underlying thought that they were essentially built off a bad origin if this makes any sense. idk i think it wouldve been better for everyone if xe were just removed ENTIRELY from the game but. you do you i guess

lastly in this essay: i think more people should Be Kinder to each other in this fandom <3 peace and love

[luxsea]

so i finally beat bg3 for the first time last night :))

also hap halloweenie :]

(not all but some) thoughts dump

im honestly so glad i got spoiled for karlachs ending back at the start of act 2 so i had time to go thru the stages of grief, make sad playlists, etc bc my tav/karlach really hit me like a truck. i knew i was going to romance her before i even got the game bc she literally is the reason i started playing to begin with but doing her route feels very right for a first playthrough bc imo despite how devastating and lacking her story can be it sure does shine when its good. her introspective moments you can only get if you romance her are everything to me. knowing she cant be saved in the end lead me to choose more accepting dialogue options which lead to infinitely more satisfying and at times inspiring scenes than if i pushed the "what if"

as for the very end, in a way karlachs dying scene and/or going to avernus scene is a lot more than what most characters get even if theyre youre romanced character... despite her ending being shafted to begin with?? which is ridiculous. (correct me if im wrong. most of them had nothing to say and what ive seen uploaded ie shadowhearts romanced ending is so meh) lae'zels orpheus ending did make me tear up, everyone else was just kinda standing there wearing ridiculous armor bc i forgot.......

despite everything im really happy with karlachs scenes? and idk if thats just bc they were the romanced versions and bc i didnt have my hopes up for her (if i hadnt been spoiled i wouldve been LIVID) but it rlly was one of the most touching moments for me. the "how'd i do?" "you were spectacular in every way" "for you. and for the city, and for myself, and blah blah. but most of all for you" caressing tavs face and her repeating back to herself that she was spectacular like shes at peace just by those words alone. "it's the one thing i can't beat, isn't it? same below as above. i love. you." and the blue flames of all her love for them searing hot white and killing her engine faster?!? ough "you more than anything. i saw- ...goodbye, sun. goodbye, sea. goodbye" I FEEL SICK I FEEL UNWELL. i should be crying but my heart just aches she's just everything to me okay!!

and the avernus scene is better than i thought it would be, the music is so sweet and badass, sharing cigars!!, lots of gay fuel for my fire, the feeling that its just the start of a new journey and not the end, charging together into the hells its so mwah mwah as long as you ignore the trauma and the fact that we couldve solved this any other way!! (do wish wyll wasnt treated like an awkward third wheel if the three of you go considering he's the one who advocates for her and going to avernus is part of his ending too. but ofc im also going she's my wife and the interaction is rlly touching)

as far as the rest of the game the emperors writing was so flimsy and uh they did a really good job making it feel like your choices didnt matter much in the end considering the praise its gotten and how the game was marketed. rip it needs some serious work but i didnt hate it. karlach brain worms take a lot of credit

my highest praises overall are that ive never felt this attached to a player character that i've made before and ive never seen a more memorable cast of npcs. there's too many stand out moments to count that it makes the insane amount of lag and bugs i had worth powering thru

BUT IM FINALLY FREE I CAN FINALLY REPLAY AND DO IT ALL AGAIN BUT BETTER

[sassykinzonline]

ok so realistically, or not realistically, thoughts on Boruto? Thoughts on the whole family thing, Naruto being the hokage, would you change anything? Thoughts on other parings? Like, narusaku, sasuhina, sasusaku, narhina, gaanaru, etc. I’m having a brain riot and need opinions😭

boruto:

i feel like it wasnt really necessary to have bio kids be the lead of the anime especially if they were just going to rehash dynamics that already happened but het. based on the newest chapter, i have to say i wish they would stop hetconning things. naruto being hokage is whatever since im sure its what the audience was waiting for but in the manga they dont just have the older gen ninja just get trapped or killed, theyre off doing their own thing or dealing with subplots or whatever. i think the recent ninja storm game handles this way better than the manga and anime do. i think you can tell kishi isnt interested in this based on how lazy a lot of the storytelling choices are. he almost had something interesting going on with kawaki but then it just kinda went off the rails. so what would i change? i would just scrap the whole thing and approach it completely differently. im not even sure i would use kids given they had a real opportunity to make it more adult, kinda like the way atla transitioned into lok.

other pairings:

i pretty much hate the majority of ships ive come across, not gonna lie. i mean i dont judge anyone for coming up with them, thats their right but i just dont get the logic behind them. particularly certain ships like sasuhina would require both of us to be completely different people for it to work, but ultimately if people want to explore dynamics that way i dont care. if i look at certain ships as people are without their fundamental traits changing then...

narusaku - this is toxic because sakura doesnt respect naruto at all. she never will because shes always seen him as a nuisance. their relationship would be her "settling" for him given his newfound status as a hero and the fame and attention she would get from that, but behind closed doors she'd probably belittle him a lot. naruto would put up with it because he doesnt have a backbone /hj.

naruhina - i mean i think hinata's a nice enough person but they have no chemistry and she also just wants/needs things from naruto so its not healthy for him again. naruto should be with someone who can protect him, and who can fight for him (like me).

gaanaru - .........................begrudgingly gaara does fit the condition i mentioned above but i feel that politically they would be a bit at odds and gaara cant fully understand naruto. but yes as a consolation ship, this is probably one of the better ones.

this is where i say honestly, painfully, if you ask me, neji probably wouldve been best for naruto besides myself. he can understand naruto's worldview, he can protect naruto, he has a personality that complements naruto. the only thing is that neji still fundamentally sees hinata as a priority so i dont know how that would play out.

i cant comment on every single ship so i'll try and just go through ones i would fix and how, and then some "crackships" i have.

leesaku (or whatever you guys call it) - lee's probably the only one sakura disrespected and then ended up respecting. his personality is such that he deals with conflict extremely well and doesnt internalize things, so he would be able to respond to sakura's shallowness and pettiness. theyre both competitive. i feel that sakura would also learn from him how to take pride in achievements, failure, and growth and build her self-esteem properly. i dont like inosaku because regardless of Lesbian Rights or whatever, sakura has consistently treated ino like shit for no reason and its not even in a "um we're awkward way" its in a "ino risks her life for sakura because shes a good person and sakura curses her out" kind of thing. lesbians should be in healthy relationships.

tenkuro - theyre both meant to be experts in a certain field that complement each other. theyre both in the middle of two extreme personalities. kankuro is a bit less of a douchebag by the time he gets older. i wouldve paired this instead of shikatema if we had to have a crosscountry couple. shikatema is gross.

hinakiba - kiba's probably the only one who treated hinata with respect their entire lives and without wanting anything in return. like weirdly enough hes the only guy i can think of except maybe choji that didnt talk shit about a woman (whether it was deserved or not) so i feel like instantly that kind of makes him a good match for someone as meek as her. hes supportive without being passive and passionate without really being aggressive. i dont know what hinata does for him because i dont really know what hinata does for anyone, but i think kiba just wants A Woman so she fits the bill.

sasudeath - if i cant have naruto give me death.

inosai is probably the only ship i actually like because they compliment each other well. again i dont care about gay/straight whatever but if ino wants to date a hot guy, let her date one. she chose one that she gets along with easily, respects her (not just respects her but he loves her proudly), and tempers her personality well. theyre pretty cute in boruto. i would keep choji and karui only because cho cho is an angel.

[nowandthane]

😈🤔✨️ for the fic asks!

thank you for asking :D questions from this ask game

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

hmm i don't know dfgbj I write short chapters? if something bores me to write about, even if theyre technically important parts of the story i will just skip them lmao? oh i think for command me to love i kept a lot of like background info and relationship stuff just to myself even though it wouldve added a lot to the story but i was working on the assumption that they would like all go somewhere else (a different longfic i had planned) but those might have been better served just being in there and building on more than just the main like romance i was writing lmao

🤔 What is the hardest part of writing fic?

writing. ok lmao also always feeling anxious about whether or not you're writing someone in character. and it kind of fucks me up a lot because generally i'm like 'in the context of this scene/fic and in the way that i interpret this character, this thing is not ooc' but it doesn't matter how much i believe that i worry readers will hate it. and then you get characters who are like more unique in their dialogue (thinking about cole dragon age) and it's like well. how tf do i write that im not smart enough LMAO

✨ Choose three adjectives to complement your own writing.

um ok things i feel on rereads: emotional, cathartic, angsty

[unlimitedtrees]

so the game i made, 'UNITRES Dreams', is open source on github now

https://github.com/UnlimitedTrees/UNITRES-Dreams

hello. earlier i made my game 'UNITRES Dreams' open source on github. i want to talk about it. click the little 'read more' thingy to read da rest of this post. i had a lot of things i wanted to say about it and why i think open sourcing games is kind of awesome Lol !!!

also , By The Way, play da on newgrounds ehehehehe ~! or u can download it on itch.io too if you want

so. let me start off by saying that, although i was planning on releasing the source code for unitres for a long while, i was Not prepared to release it now. in fact, it kind of happened on accident.

in case you didnt know, earlier on twitter i was talking about how i wished there was a good way to release my archive of old builds for the game. i have a google drive full of old builds but i also i dont like using google drive. i sent a link to the drive in a reply to someones tweet, but there is one big thing i forgot: the game's project file is also in that drive.

anyways, instead of just deleting the reply or removing the file from the drive, i decided to just release the source code on github now, since i might as well. a part of me feels like i shouldnt have released it so suddenly... but also a part of me feels relieved.

you see, the unitres dreams source code is Bad. tons of messy code with almost no comments... a bunch of hackish solutions to tons of problems... everything is just incomprehensible unless youre me. considering ive been the only person working on the game for years, i understand most of the code and never needed to make comments (especially since making comments in construct 2 is Annoying).

my original plan for releasing the source code was to go back and clean everything up; improving tons of messy systems and adding comments explaining how everything worked. i also was planning on adding new content for a new update to the game aswell.. such as an options menu and maybe new levels and characters or something. i have Tried going back a few times to clean some little things up and work on a keybinding system... but i havent had the time to focus on it and do what ive wanted to do with it.

so, yeah. im kind of glad the source code is just Out now. it probably wouldve taken me Years just to do what i planned... and i think its best to just get it out now instead of just waiting years for something that might never happen, even if the source code right now is incredibly insane and unusable.

which leads me to something most people might be wondering: Why even release the source code in the first place? honestly, i doubt a lot of people will get use out of it, especially with the bad code and it being made in an old, dead engine that you cant even Buy anymore. but despite this... i think its good to release the source code for your games for a few reasons...

for one, its good for archival reasons. ive had a huge anxiety over losing all the source code for my games... its happened to me before and it really hurts. not only can you not use it in the future, but you lose a lot of work youve done, and for me ive lost a ton of games which were important to my journey as a game dev. nowadays, i try to hold onto all of my projects and have saved them to multiple computers and hard drives, but releasing them on stuff like github and google drive at least makes me feel a little better.. and hopefully with the unitres source code being public and the google drive for the old builds being out, it means that i wont have to worry about losing either of them.

another big reason is that, even if no one uses the source code for anything like mods or whatever, i think games having their source code out is good for learning game dev and understanding how games are made, even if the code is a big mess. even if i did get to go with my plan of cleaning up the source code... i feel like thatd be kind of dishonest, cus Most games Never have perfect code when theyre made. its good if you use the most messy code in existence just to get the game done... you can't always spend forever perfecting something, and at the end of the day the game eventually has to come out at some point. even big triple A projects will have weird code in some places... thats just a fact of life. i think having the source code out lets people see the kinds of crazy stuff that goes into a game, and maybe seeing my crazy code will influence others to do things a lot better in their own things. that's what i think, anyways.

and hey, even if My game never gets any sort of modding community, that doesnt mean Your game wont. there are a lot of communities out there who make some crazy things with mods.. and things such as open source games or decompilations can lead to some incredible stuff. with decompilations, youve got things such as mario 64 or the retro engine sonic games being ported to pretty much Everything, and then youve got open source games like Doom and friday night funkin which are being pretty much kept alive Because theyre open source and have a huge modding community. even if a game never gets as much interest as those.. it doesnt mean it never will, and having a game be open source can help a community grow so much more.

anyways umm yea. i think making games open source is awesome. there is a little part of me that feels weird about making unitres dreams specifically open source and the possibility that people might make fangames and mods out of it, as its something thats really personal to me (especially since the main character is named after me), but if people do make fangames and stuff with it i dont think ill mind, especially since a lot of my early work was fan games and unitres dreams takes a lot of inspiration from the media i love. all that i ask is that people include the original credits from the game in their thing, especially if you reuse any of the music from the original soundtrack.

i think, at the end of the day, my goal with this is to inspire more people to open source their games. a lot of good things can come out of it. that's all i have to say i think. play unitres dreams on newgrounds dot com ehehehe !!

[themole]

playing through p5 royal for the first time and its quite bizarre how both great and mid all the new content manages to be,,, its overall positive enough to say its the definitive version and yet a lot of the new content is kinda lazy and shouldve been left out/reworked, not to mention it makes the game even easier than it already was but because of said easiness in the original, this almost isnt a bad thing cuz it just lets you go power crazy with getting overpowered which is kind of a step up from the original just being a bit unsatisfying with its amount of difficulty?

but then like phone conversations at the end of social links, about 80% of them add nothing of substance or even anything aesthetically fun and feel out of place and should just have not been put in the game, but at the same time the ones that do add are very welcomed

kasumi (so far no spoils pls) is rly bland personality wise and only gets weird specific quirks that feel too disconnected to rly give her a coherent vibe? which is both kind of an interesting design but also just devolves into every conversation being like "wow that was great senpai" with ren just saying a variation on "youre great kasumi :)" and idk it feels lazy to not have her have some noticeable flaw shes trying to work on like everyone else BUT shes also like the best romance option cuz of the sheer amount of 1 on 1 time her and joker get in the main story specifically no less, dr maruki is so far a fantastic character too with consistently some of the best philosophy the game brings up, literally questioning the existence and effectiveness of therapy, not to a meaningful political degree obvs but in the context of a dumb fun jrpg power fantasy adventure its super satisfying

and a lot of the new music is absolutely stellar,,, new op and battle theme are both weaker than the previous ones tho,,, theyre still pretty good mind you they just dont live up to the same standard and the fact that they take the spotlight away from the others feels a bit unnecessary and poor in design judgement, having both openings cycle the main menu wouldve been easy enough and take over would work perfectly as the regular battle theme with last surprise being the ambush theme (i mean it literally has 'surprise' in the title it feels like the way it shoulda been) but omg then dr. marukis theme absolutely fucks?? new mementos themes woulda been better if each one was less of a variation on the same thing but just more variety in general helps a lot there,,,, and holy fuck no more what ifs,,,, literally a vocals song that is just relegated to a hangout social spot??? lmao?? not even most of the time you go there either dkdhdjd and its like one of the best new tracks,,,, this is what i mean by everything being generally better but sloppily so,,,, just needed a lot of fat trimmed and some minor reworks im excited to get to the new palace i think thats really gonna decide whether this is better than the original or not for me

[funkfuck]

I hope this addition is not too annoying, but i agree with everything you said except that the majima saga is a masterpiece.

Now dont get me wrong I loved it too, i loved the new characters, i loved that majima finally returned to sotenbori, i loved the kashiwagi content we got i love that man and of course i loved that i got to play as majima again (man i wish i could play dead souls) my favorite part was how these 3 chapters, to me, served more of as an exploration of how majima learnt to move past and accept what had happened in 1988, how he realized that despite all the pain and suffering, good things did happen to him in sotenbori too, how he saw how makoto remembers these events as something worth remembering and that it’s part of her and made her the person she is today, how even though she suffered so much in this city, she still came back to live here because of her good memories with him. It was kind of like going through his own zetsubouchou pride moment about learning yeah life is shit but that made me who i am today so you can all suck it. it was an amazing closure to the whole majima/makoto story imo i wouldnt have it any other way.

However the majima saga is… kind of messy. I feel like the story couldve been only slightly longer, couldve explored some of its moments a little better but at the end of the day i know this is just a small side story so i cant expect much of it. Still, sometimes the endings of each chapter shocked me a little, like i was sitting there just like “wait. This is it? Thats the end of this chapter?”

How limited it is annoys me so much but, once again, i know its just a small sideplot so i cant really expect more. I didnt want a full fledged combat system for majima like it was yakuza 0 but it just felt like i was taking the mad dog out for a walk in the park on a leash but the mad dog was just like a pissed off chihuahua. The fact that street enemies were just casually strewn around the city instead of moving like in the main story was a little annoying because its not like theres much to do in this side game im just trying to get to my next objective and these guys are in the way and wont budge unless i pummel them. (I know weird complaint to have with a fighting game but its not like the combat was that fun) The eating system was just Bad what do you mean i cant eat more i need to heal idgaf if majima is full already. But thats not really that serious of a gripe.

One issue that i know is not with the game but because of the innate nature of prequels is that the characters introduced in the majima saga were so FUN i loved ibuchi and uematsu was so cool i wanted more of them but obviously because it takes place before the main story they cant just be retconned back in, they had to die. Burying them in the graveyard of characters who wouldve been SO COOL if we got to see them in more games, right next to nishitani and the dojima lieutenants.

My biggest issue is… the entire majima saga is kind of unnecessary. We already had a good explanation for why majima left the tojo, terada didnt care about the old guard guys so majima got bored and left. (And majima construction is just a totally majima thing to do and its not like the majima saga gave insight as to why his plan b if this yakuza thing didnt work out was to start building shit. If anything the goromi date did that) its really just fanservice, rgg studios realizing after yakuza 0 that people fucking love majima and so they need to do more with majima. (which is not a bad thing!!! I love majima everywhere i love the majima saga i think theyre all fun)

Thats one observation i had with this game, that i felt like a lot of the side content hinges on that you have played 0 and get all these references and callbacks. I dont know how grounded in reality that is because its been a while since i finished kiwami 2 but i remember i did feel like that while playing, that it was just Look!!! You remember this thing from 0!!! You loved this in 0!!!! 0 was a good game so now this game is good too!!!!! I didnt complete majima construction but i assume theres lots of references in there, cabaret club grand prix was just a slightly worse rehash of cabaret club czar with WAY worse hostess training segments, sometimes they were a genuine slog to sit through (and i mean they even copied the one of the hostesses gets kidnapped thing from the ccc plot line!! Like cmon guys you really couldnt think of any other reason koyuki might not be available rn have her visit family or something)

The whole majima saga exists just to have that one scene with majima and makoto for the sake of a yakuza 0 reference and more majima content to appease the fans, the among us ass murder mystery story (which is a story type we all get so familiar with in yakuza 3 for better or for worse) was enjoyable sure i liked ibuchi but it was barely held together by some scotch tape at points. The ending fucks supremely though i have zero problems about that.

Im SO SORRY idk why im rambling so much about something that was so insignificant in the original reply i totally derailed this post im so sorry still i hope my thoughts and ideas are comprehensible

so this was a tag i just got on the TO WHOM⁉️⁉️ response to the rgg summit proposal reveals post and im literally obsessed with it i've been talking to myself about it for the entire like hour since i saw it. they really do just fucking make awful decisions sometimes and we all know this. basically like every single game there's at least one Oh My God Why Did You Do That catastrophic choice made by the writers. they really are flopping all the time. i love these games but man no you're so right why are they like that

[stargod]

Ok ok im tired of seeing every mention of bigbs betrayal being all the same takes over and over about either cleo and/or that he could have asked, so here are some other thoughts:

- the point of boogeyman, and technically the game at large, is to get people to trust u so theyre less of a threat. Technically bigb did exactly what the role was intended for, he basically just played the long con. The fact that he caught feelings cause he didnt Realize he was playing a long con just makes it that much juicier

- also how many people can say they Actually gained Cleo's trust? Bdubs. And MAYBE tango. And even then was it her trust they got or just her affection? Technically i think that makes bigb one of the best boogeymen so far.

- After all what better way to gain someones trust than to genuinely deserve it. Up. Till. The very. Last. Moment. (Not great for cleo's future trust endeavors, but that kind of works seeing as thats the one thing she doesn't need anymore...) (also another great foil moment to ren, who also gains trust thru actually deserving it- imo)

- consider why the fairies ultimately decided to stick with him. Theyve all been boogeymen. They Know the itch. They kno, even tho they Started by trying to kill outside the alliance, if push came to shove, EXACTLY how it did for bigb (he didn't immediately decide to kill in-ranks, he struggled the whole episode to find Anyone), they wouldve done anything as well.

- yes, if he'd told them, if he'd ASKED for help, push might Not have come to shove for bigb, but consider why he didnt. He was Terrified. He isnt like Lizzie, he specifically mentioned he doesnt kno how to build traps and there were several moments he Could have pvped that Could have failed. And he's not ren either. He doesnt have the leverage ren has, he doesnt have the repor that would help him trust others to Trust him. And hes not cleo, shes never been the boogeyman, she has no idea what she'd do (or wouldve done) let alone anyone else knowing.

- remember bigb telling etho he wouldnt kill anyone? That he thought maybe he'd just go to red? He almost did. Do you think he thought of that in those final moments? Why do you think he changed his mind? Maybe being boogeyman made him realize how impossible winning on red might be for him. Maybe he realized he'd rather take the risk losing a friend on green than not having the option of friends on red...

- And can we talk about his main ally being cleo? Cleo who, even when she had absolutely 0 reasons not to trust ren, refused to trust him. Shes willing to drop people. Shes willing to drop Anyone. Even when she Swore she would Die for tango and bdubs, she said it because she Believed they might ask. Because when the name of the game is last life, the only person you can Trust is yourself.

- I do believe that, in the last 5 minutes, if bigb had told her, cleo would have let him kill her. But if he'd asked for their help from the start the way ren did? If he'd told her on that ladder, or on the bridge, or maybe even standing over the pond having listened to them all jump aboard to help ren. I dont think it would have been the same.

- And maybe, maybe bigb didnt want to ask. Maybe in spite of the curse, in spite of every instinct to survive. Bigb might hoped, believed even, that he might fail to kill Cleo.

- Lizzie didnt think to disavow bigb. I personally think it just genuinely didnt occur to her, because real time rping and what have u. But she could have condemned bigb. It wouldve made sense. Cleo was angry that she was betrayed, if Lizzie had simply said i am also angry you got betrayed (and she seemed like she honestly was) if she had said why would i want someone i kno will betray their closest allies on my team (and why would she) she might have won cleo back, and cleo wouldn't have gone over to scott and pearl's and she wouldnt have gone red...

- martyn trying to exile bigb from the fairies without being a part of them

- the way martyn is trying to use ren to control the fairies, but he crossed the line. He's never been boogeyman, he didnt think ren would side with a traitor, maybe he should wonder just how much he Does kno about ren. Just how much power he really has.. (also, just, ren being the one to stick up for bigb And against martyn one of the people actually like the most 🥺🥺) (also martyn overstepping- over estimating what he can get away with >:3 get lost stinky boy!!)

-the shadow fairies are now entirely composed of people who have been afflicted by the curse

- not only did the only person to not experience the curse end up being the one to abandon ship now shes a red name

- (listen, writing isnt my strong suit, but i feel like red names v boogeymen make for an interesting dichotomy, like red names are almost more "natural" and harder to come back from, where the boogeyman is practically a virus and people who have it are still green names, they still have the chance to "remove" the curse and being red is still the most terrifying threat)

- mix that with cleo's general self-riteousness (affectionate)- "i have the RIGHT to kill, now, youre all just TRAITORS"

- i think cleo pointing out to ren that she knew if push came to shove ren wouldve betrayed her or bigb was really important to ren sticking up for bigb afterward

- yes theyre perfect foils for what happened- the difference between being transparent with ur allies and having help v not and ending up being Forced to betray.

- But Cleo Was right and ren Does grant that if skizz hadnt worked he wouldve been short on time and even Lizzie may have requested he kill one of their allies rather than lose her guard dog

- even tho bigb was in 3rd life he was forced to make way less difficult decisions, mostly cause he was just less confrontational, he has less experience with that that than ren, he was SCARED

- he was Scared his allies didnt care enough about him to help. He was scared he had the one ally on the server most likely to drop him for even being remotely a threat. He was Scared that he didnt have what it took to pvp or trap or beguile!

- and if u just take even a moment to consider "why DIDN'T he tell anyone after they spent literally the whole episode Helping ren", u realise the answer couldve very well been.. "well, im not ren" maybe he felt like more of an outsider than ren, more expendable.

-bigb cast himself out of the alliance before they ever had the chance to. By staying on the outside, he never had to know if they would turn their backs on him. And the fact that they decided to stick with him after it all, when he thought they might really cast him out. Looked inside themselves and realized that bigb was Not an outsider- Not a Betrayer- that he was in fact, just like them- scared and afflicted and feeling completely alone. I think this could make their alliance way stronger than the others, and possibly even make ren more resilient to martyns whispers (although evidence points to no on that one)

- i do think, tho, bigb needs to find something more substantial to tie himself to them fast though. "We have all had to deal with the fear of betraying our friends now" is not exactly the most substantial post to tie your bonds to. But i think just making that idea stronger by Being more transparent moving forward could do the trick. Making it less "we all have almost betrayed our friends" and making it "we are not the curse that made us do that" maybe? Might could help? And by being honest- not vulnerable but honest- moving forward could have that desired effect, exactly...

[oriigirii]

💞 MC is a Genshin Simp 💞

=====

{ AN: Omg! This is my first ask so thank you anon (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)/!! This is such a vibe too haha, I hope you like it! } Warnings: None [Maybe Refs and Chars you wont get if you dont play Genshin Impact] * Probably a bit OOC too *

Reader: Gender-Neutral [Default]

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)

========

< Genshin Impact was a game that took the human realm by storm, with its open-world gameplay, its competitive PvE and aesthatic settings, it was truly something that captured you the moment the beta was announced. Although, as with any Gacha games, you weren’t only attracted to the world and its setting.

No no.

The characters were truly the main eye candy of the game. You’d been worried that when you had been sucked into Devildom, you wouldn’t be able to access the game due to, yknow, realm differences, but luckily that wasn’t the case thanks to Levi, and hence why the moment it dropped, you had been spending your life savings simping for characters on every banner.

Yknow theres handsome bois in devildom too... Theyre just kinda waiting for you to put your game down for a moment and kinda notice em ～((Φ◇Φ)‡ >

------

ฅ⁽͑ ˚̀ ˙̭ ˚́ ⁾̉ฅ Lucifer

He usually doesn’t mind you playing games

Although, He would’ve preferred if you didn’t cause you kinda need to focus on your studies yknow?

But hey he’s not stopping you

Usually you would stay with him as he works, but he can’t seem to focus with you constantly begging beside him

Small little ‘please’ would be heard every now and then, and a sudden look of disappointment would show on your face.

He tried to ignore it, even giving little cues for you to quiet down, like clearing his throat

You didnt seem to pick up the hint though

He was just about to ask you what you were doing in the first place that has you praying beside him (which is hella rude) but your scream of happiness has him a little more irked and kinda taken back

“LUCIFER! I GOT HIM! LOOK LOOK I GOT HIM!”

You show him the screen showing your pull results

The character held a giant claymore with bright red hair

Before he can get another word in, you snatch your phone back and just sigh as if youd just had a heavenly (ironic) experience and mumble

“I seriously love him, Im so happy...”

Bro same though, Diluc pls come home

You were truly one of a kind, because youve just managed to break the Avatar of Pride’s... well.... Pride.

Did he just get cucked by a man in a video game?

Truly outrageous.

He seems to scoff and holds back a bit of an eye roll as he tries to focus back on his work

But boy oh boy, his salt is high

“If you are going to be causing a ruckus MC, May i suggest you doing it with Levi instead, I have no time for such games. I dont see why youre so caught up in such a character anyways, he looks quite basic.”

His words were sharp, and that was enough to shake you out of your fangirl/boy mode.

You were literally ready to fight the first born, a literal fucking fallen angel, for dissing Diluc like that

like

how dare

But then you notice how he seems to avoid your gaze and a small little red tint was on the tip of his ears.

Lucifer wouldve wanted to see you that happy with him, but no, a game character steals that spotlight.

Angey.

Instead of being intimidated by the sudden coldness, you giggle and finally close your phone and set it aside

You can continue celebrating and bragging about it later, for now, you wrap your arms around his arm and give him a small smooch on the cheek, which definitely makes him blush a tad bit

“Awww Luci dont be like that, Yknow I love you more”

Potential apocalypse has been diverted

But Lucifer does smile the smallest of smiles as he sighs, finding it silly to really get jealous over such a small thing and says

“I love you too, my dear... but you do have to make up for distracting me from my work...”

Well you kinda deserve it, so it wasnt long before both his work and your phone had been ditched

( After a while you do kinda see him quite similar to Diluc and it just makes you smile everytime you think about it, seems you have a thing for the strict cold men huh?)

===

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Mammon

Why you simping for a fictional character when you already have him?!

He’s your first man!

Your homie!

“Yeah well hes my first 5* so can you blame me?”

S A D N E S S

But for real, this man is just so clingy

He has heard from Levi that you were playing a new game from the human world, and of course, he had wanted to see what it was about by watching you play.

But since it was quite grind-heavy gacha game, he grew a bit bored and asked you to come with him to hang out somewhere else, or even go to the casino and gamble his money away cause he just got goldie back

But no matter what he suggests, you were just so focused on your grinding.

He’d prefer a different kinda grinding right about now with how lonely he is, ya feel me?

But no, you still werent interested.

“Oi! Cmon MC, whats even so important about this?”

“I already told you Mammon, Im grinding for primogems from the event! Theyre gonna be gone soon and I just HAVE to get them! Ugh I swear to Diavolo, if I dont, Imma cry! I didnt get him on their first banner too... ugh!”

Wait no--

Cmon he doesnt want you to cry!

Mammon kinda stays silent for a bit as he watches you struggle to fight the monsters with your low level team, frustration growing on your face.

But as you finish, Mammon seems to snatch your phone

“Hey! whats the big deal Mammon?!”

“Shut up and show me where the store is geez”

Mammon’s demands kinda surprises you and you raise an eyebrow at him, but you do show where it was, and sit back for a while as Mammon just fiddles around with it. You werent sure what he was doing honestly, was he interested? Did you say anything that made him act this way? All you talked about the game was the gacha system so--

oh…

OH

“Mammon! Wait you dont have to---”

“There! I got you as much primo things, or whatever theyre called”

He already has tossed you your phone back and he crossed his arms, looking away as the red blush covers most of his cheeks.

You look at your phone and you honestly felt your heart speed up and stop at the same time at the amount of primos on your account, it was enough for a full 180 pull! If you dont get the limited character on the first 50-50, you have another shot!

You felt your own heart speed up and your face burn so hard, but you do mumble him a quick “But... But why though?”

“Cuz! If you start cryin’ Lucifer’s gonna beat my ass! Dont think I did it for you, you human! I just dont want him taking away Goldie again!”

“But I thought this was your gambling money, isnt it?”

“w-well!... I mean... Hmph.. Gachas kinda like gambling right?, I know Lucifers gonna hang me if he catches me in the casino again anyways, so I thought I might as well just do this... with you...or whatever...” Hes dying, help

But so are you!

Hes too fucking cute and you just glomp him and just hug him as tight as you can!!

Flusterred boi 100

But you do spend you afternoon on his lap, both of you rolling the full 180 in excitement, whether you get that boi/gal you simped for on the banner or not, you still were happy to spend some time with Mammon

He doesnt mind losing a bit of cash for you

but you do promise to pay him back (maybe with a few kissy)

But to be honest, Gacha probably will help him with his gambling addiction...

kinda...

He doesnt go to casinos anymore but he does whale with you now

Lucifer has such a mix feeling with these results.

But he still confiscates Goldie and your card on the end, yall need to chill.

====

ヽ(。_°)ノ Leviathan

He probably wasn’t even interested on the game at first

He already has enough games to play, and it just looks like another rip off of some other game he saw not too long ago with that elf looking guy

But when you came to him asking for his help to get the game, you bet your ass that he felt a switch click

Suddenly it was incredibly interesting!

You do share your interests to him almost immediately

By interests, of course i mean the peeps you simp for

The sexy ara ara in the library of mondstat, the pirate looking ass of the guards, the pirate looking ass’s brother thats a wine owner and still highkey reminds you of Lucifer, the demon slayer--- You were actually unsure if you should talk about Xiao but hey hes cool

You explain it all!

From their lore to their voice lines and whatever

But honestly what do you expect from the Avatar of Envy?

Of course hes gonna be a bit jealous! He cant compare to any of these characters! Hes not as witty as that eye patch man, hes not as sophisticated as that red head, hes not as flirty as that ara ara either!

As you go on, you notice that Levi was kinda... half listening....

It made you pout, but then, it made you worried

Uh-oh you know that look

its that, ‘im overthinking’ look

So to snap him out of it, you kinda grab his face as gently as you can

“Need Grimm for your thoughts?”

He flushes and he immediately looks away, but you usher him to look at you as you coo and ask him whats wrong

It takes a bit till he kinda explains to you how hes feeling

In your relationship, you both were practicing being more open with each other, hence why you were proud of Levi for saying it

but you did feel kinda sad and frowned as he finishes explaining

“You... feel jealous?”

“Ugh d-dont say it out loud normie....”

He covers his face with his arm and you just cant help but shake your head with a fond smile, but you do need to address this and comfort him.

“Levi... when you fanboy about Ruri chan, did you ever think she was better than me?”

Your question made him frown and look at you in absolute worry

Did you actually think that you were below Ruri chan?

Of course hes an absolute simp for Ruri but.. cmon

Now that he thinks about it, he does talk about her a lot doesnt he? oh no...

“MC O-Of course not! I love Ruri chan yes, but you... I... I Love... you more...” Levi exe do be dying

But you smile at his response and gently kisses his cheek

“I think thats sweet Levi... But thats how I am too... Youre still better than any of these characters, youre real and they arent, youre mine and I am yours~ Youre my personal 5 star!” You wink at him and Levi just dips

his heart couldnt handle the cuteness and he died, ladies and gentlemen

but for real he did pass out

Must be from all the blood on his head from the blush

But ah, he does get it, and after being showered with love from you, He kinda slowly got over his jealousy

its not immediate but with simple reassurances, you can manage to reel him in and have fun with you

He does end up enjoying the game cause he gets to spend time with you, and he gets to show off when events happen 

He also goes out of his way to memorize locations for materials for you, and when youre sick or busy, he pilots your account

true gamer

But ironically enough hed probably start simping for a character too and of course, you both start bonding over that, which just makes Levi absolutely happy

I wonder if hed simp for Barbara, she is an idol afterall like Ruri chan

Probably lowkey for now

Afterall she looks like a minor so-----

( I dunno i searched shes 16-18 lol )

But regardless, I can imagine you both just cosplaying each others fav characters too

Its a wack looking ship cosplay but yall just simp for each other cause of it, its pretty fun but the rest of the brothers just finds it hella weird

----

I only have energy for these 3 as always, Im sorry! But i promise Ill do the rest!! I hope you guys do enjoy, and Id love some feedback on the characters personalities cause I know they can be a bit Ooc, But feel free to send me an ask! Im pretty open lol 〜(￣△￣〜)

[musubiki]

who did lime kill? and how does the eedt of the guild feel about it?

(this is all mostly beta so far, post-timeskip and actually closer to the end of the story) but umm...,,im not sure who he is yet..,.i know he knew cat-ears in the underground, probably another good fighter who was all the shit before lime got down there and swept the floor with him, and hes never forgive cat-ears since, so at the very least hes a member of the magic community, and a good fighter!!

after the cat-ears thing cleared up with mochi, some time later there was a bounty put on "cat-ears'" head, which was from this same guy looking for a real rematch (big pride i think, and also supposedly very rich?? rich enough to put a heavy bounty)

anyway mochi and lime go to have this rematch (lime wearing his cat-ears disguise), and whoops the guys ass again, but sometime during that fight or after, said guy figures out/realizes that this witch that cat-ears is protecting is the cat-witch, and so that becomes a new motive for him. not sure what he wants yet,,..to kill her?? take her power or try to?? sell her to the highest bidder????

anyway this guy - i have no idea what power he has yet - but he causes a lot of shit for mochi and lime. hes the one that uhh actually KILLS lime, the same episode where sulluvan shows up and mochis like "what are you doing here" and 5 seconds later lime gets..something.,,,,shoved through his body..,,sulluvan is there to take his soul to the afterlife and mochi has to delve into some shitty dark magic to save his ass and it corrupts her magic for a while (beta)

he also does/tries to do something to mochi, again not sure what yet but at the end of it she is not okay and the result was he is very hard to kill so he got away and she was terrified of him finding them again

after THAT fight, lime finds him instead. and the guy is kinda fucked up from mochis magic, but still alive and recovering, and he gives the whole villian monologue, blah blah you thought you could kill me but ill have my revenge, she cant run from me forever and when i find her im gonna do (insert evil fucked up deeds), she'll never be rid of me because she cant kill me blah blah

and after lime is like "yeah youre right, she cant kill you." and then summons his thunderbat, and cracks the guy in the jaw with it, and when towering over him he goes "...but i sure as hell can." and absolutely fucks the guy up beating the shit out of him. wont go into the gore but lets say lime is very thorough. maybe sulluvan shows up here too and lets lime know that he'll take care of the rest,,

when lime goes home mochi is feeling a little better, working on some spell to keep that guy away, and lime walks in with blood all over his bat (maybe some splattered on his face), and goes "You dont need to worry about that moch. hes not gonna bother us anymore." and she realizes

she asks him if hes alright but honestly, it wasnt a huge psychological damage to lime at all. tell her he guy almost - well, he DID kill him, hurt her, tried to keep hurting her, and everyone hates him so the guy deserved it and the world is a much better place without him. she gives him a tight hug anyway and a soft thank you

(as for the rest of the guild, shit theyre all on limes side too LMFAOOOOO they all love him by that time - yes even coco - and losing lime wouldve sucked for everyone. plus the fucker tried to hurt/did hurt/tried to kill mochi and NO ONE is okay with that. the guild backs him 100%. cocos a little jealous. when will i make my first kill, she says, and mochi says thats not funny pls shut up)

(its also worth noting that every member of the magic community is an outlaw - literally outside the law. they are free game for anyone to do anything to, its the wild west in the magic community. the gov doesn't give a shit if you kill each other, in fact they probably prefer it, so lime never faces consequences for that, and is also why mochi works so hard to protect herself and the people shoe loves because theres no help to be found within the community or outside of it)

[inosukeslefttoe]

lmao i just... think that they r soulmates.... not even in a romantic way (but YES in a romantic way bc im gay and love lesbians) but just seriously dude i feel like their connection is so unique and it makes me start having feelings when i think of how attached some of the characters are to each other in this game but like,, they maybe never wouldve rlly met or become close under any other circumstances rather than this one yknow ?? so in a way the beautiful relationships that came from this situation were such a blessing BUT ALSO FUCKIN HEARTBREAKING BC THEYRE ALL GONNA DIE YOU FEEL

so ,,, first im gonna talk about why its so epic that sakura was able to find this friendship right... shes this big scary buff woman and i remember her saying that its been hard for her to find friends in the past bc everyone fears her and her main goal has been fighting and getting stronger her whole life which has been especially hard since shes a woman and feels like she has to prove herself to men (this is also similar to how taka bent over backwards with his studies but in doing so sacrificed friends and social life). im assuming most of her close relationships have been born from rivalries and fights n shit or any relationship she has at home, even with her family and bf, revolves around her wanting to become better than these people by defeating them,,, i think thats also how she shows affection to ppl now sometimes by fighting them. bUT,, then she meets hina who is super bubbly and friendly and ditzy who immediately trusts her right away and asks her to stay with her during the night or smthn like that and sakura is like “homie... shes not scared of me at all... and she gets what its like to be competitive... and to yknow keep working hard every day of ur life to keep getting stronger...” and i think that was a super important moment here bc they seem so different but hina was so open and willing to start a bond with sakura that she prolly hadnt experienced before and so therefore sakura is like HOLY SHIT I GOTTA PROTECT THIS WOMAN WITH MY LIFE but like,, not in a way that she thinks hina is weak,,, but in a way that shows she respects the hell out of her and will always stand by her side to fight with her. 

OKAY AND NOW FOR HINA OKAY. it pisses me off that everyone always picks on hina for being so driven to work out and all that bc like,, while yeah i could NEVER live like her bc sports arent my cup of tea (lmao clearly since i spend all my time watching anime and playing this game) and the thought of waking up before 10:00 on my free days makes me wanna cry,,, HINA IS SO FUCKING DEDICATED TO WHAT SHE DOES AND SHE SPENDS ALL HER ENERGY ON WHAT SHE LOVES AND WHAT MAKES HER FEEL GOOD AND SHES DAMN GOOD AT IT !! AND SHE NEVER SACRIFICES HER HEALTH OR HAPPINESS FOR IT EITHER !! SHE MAKES SURE SHE GETS GOOD RELAX TIME AND STILL GETS TIME FOR HER FAVORITE FOOD EVEN THO ITS “UNHEALTHY” AND SHE DOESNT FORCE HERSELF TO BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME SHE BALANCES HER EMOTIONS AND LETS THEM OUT IN HEALTHY WAYS !! SHE IS A QUEEN !! okay but n e ways,, ppl pick on her (by ppl i mean in game characters along with like,, actual ppl) for being shallow or whatever for being so into sports/fitness and nothing else but homie thats her p a s s i o n and shes so driven and someone i admire so much,,, and i think when she meets sakura,,, she sees that sakura rlly gets that about her yknow ?? theyre both into fitness and all that and hinas like “oh cool a person i can totally bond with over this !!” which is why she starts a friendship with her so early on. she doesnt care how anyone looks or what theyre into shes always been so fucking sweet and warm and open to every character in this game and i think thats the absolute best thing ever esp considering how toxic some of these characters can be lmao. but YEAH her relationship with sakura is so special bc they have that shared bond and passion and sakura is the first person here not to poke fun at her or call her dumb bc sakura fully understands how into her passion she is and it creates so much mutual respect and the strongest bond. 

in conclusion: sakura and hina are fucking soulmates and i rlly like to think they wouldve met in a non-despair world bc i think having each other as partners/being by each others sides is such an amazing thing for both of them since they see each other for who they really are and they can both fully understand what it means to be so passionate and driven for the things they love. 

a-also... big buff lebsian a-and... her cute tiny gf.... hggnnnhhh THEYRESOCUTEIMIGHTCRYAGAIN LMAOOOO (also i just started chapter four and i just KNOW smthn bad is gonna happen with them teehee i will not make it out alive after this)

[rtvents]

It's been over a month since RH left and initially I thought that I would feel a hole in AH content but it's been the opposite. I feel like there has been a tension lifted, that they are all have better chemistry and friendliness. RH definitely made AH seem like "coworkers" rather than friends whereas now you can feel the 'friends first who play games'. Especially with them twitch streaming together. I didn't realise the negative energy, bitchy attitude and bad vibes he gave content until he was gone. AH are better off without him for so many reasons including the fact that his overbearing presence and needing to be heard (and have the last say) has gone. AH's content has been a well needed breath of fresh air.

i’m not sure i feel like this quite to this degree, but to some extent i definitely agree. its like im sure ah wouldve said this was crazy and theyre all friends before everything came out and like they really considered him a friend, but yeah when someone is hiding such huge things like that it will show. like at least in the sense that like he didnt seem like the type to talk about outside of work but everyone else does. everyone else seem to talk to each other outside of work 

its hard to tell what is actually true and what we now see looking back knowing the full story but i definitely agree about content being better. everyone seems closer than they have before. and honestly i watch a lot of their twitch streams more than i do their actual videos and i love when everyone streams together

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

[littlebigafterdark]

patton's asthma attack and finally agreeing to try therapy

content warnings: hurt/comfort, detailed description of asthma attack, very brief mention of past eating disorder, crying (i always hav that tho)

i copy pasted this from mine and livs discord convo so thats why it might be formatted weird and i swear a lot also if you see "hhh yeah" then thats liv commenting hshshsh

patton has had a cough the past few days because BASICALY since priscilla (remys cat) visited hes been more breathless with his asthma but he didnt tell anyone bc he doesnt want to worry them or make it so vee never get to see priscilla again if she cant visit anymore

so his asthma is acting up but he ignores it - and hes had asthma cough for a couple days (which is a sign of an incoming asthma attack) but again hes ignoring it, hes so used to brushing off symptoms he doesnt click what it means and he diesn ttake his inhaler when he needs it

WAAAHH oh fuck oh my god oh god wait fuck i just realised

the moment patton gets his asthma attack its saturday afternoon, roman is little and playing with logan and vee isnt quite little yet but fae's on faer way there, fae is very giggly and playful and patton says "okay babygirl, lets go get you changed!"

and when he gets up from the couch he takes a moment to cough and just stand still a sec bc he got suddenly dizzy but he pushed through it to not worry vee, and he actually usually lifts her onto his hip straight away, but this time he very subtly is like "okay hold daddys hand while we walk to the stairs"

so they get to the stairs and patton of course lifts vee up, and theyre only a few steps up when pattons breathing gets really heavy. it makes vee frown and look at him and say "daddy am i heavy?"

and patton smiles and shakes his head, because hes too breathless to speak. but he pushes through and hurries up as fast as possible

once theyre at the top of the stairs, patton is wheezing. his chest is rattling and whistling and he suddenly loses his smile and quickly hurries away from the stairs to place vee gently on the hallway floor, and as soon as vee is safe patton wobbily sinks to his knees and leans his head against the wall. his eyes shut tight trying so so hard to breath but its realy whistly now

and vee of course panics. "dady? papa are you okay??" and whimpers when patton doesnt react and clutches at his chest

and it throws her out of her semi regression. she jumps up and hurries downstairs, a little wobbily but ultimately fine. and she speints to where logan and riman are and yells "daddys h havin a panic attack!" and instantly starts crying

logan and roman were in the middle of a game and smiling and laughing but as SOON as they hear that they jump into action. logan runs out of the room to go to patton and roman grows up and runs to vee and lifts her up to shush her cries and calm her down - they dont even share a single look before they do this, they both just instinctively know what to do

and logan of course finds patton and realises its an asthma attack not a panic attack - he goes into his emergency like emotionless mode where he just gets the job done. he asks clearly where patton keeps his inhaler and patton just shakes his head. so logan alarmed asks "you dont have a reliever inhaler??" and patton winces and shakes his head again.

logan sprints to his room into his bedside drawer to find tthe inhaler he keeps for emergencies double checking it hasnt expired

he sits with his legs around patton, patton leaned back agains his torso, and puffs pattons inhaler for him and times the attack and the puffs (knowing that if it isnt better after ten puffs and fifteen minutes they have to call an ambulance) and using his own deep breaths against pats back to help him recalibrate his breathing

luckily it only lasts 8 and a half minutes and 8 puffs - but logan is so so shaken about the fact that that was very close to requiring medical assistance, he had his ohone out ready to dial 911

once pattons attack is over he's finally breathing, short and deep at first gasping in the oxygen, but within a few more minutes of sitting against logan it slows down and is much calmer. hes very shaky because the reliever inhaler does that to you, and weak from the tax on his body, so logan helps him up into their nearest bedroom (pattons)

at first he calls roman to swap places with him and watch over patton hust so logan can change vee into a diaper since she regressed from fear as soon as roman picked her up and obv he cant change her diaper

so roman sits with patton while logan does that and roman is actually really quiet and awkward and nervous, just looking wide eyed at patton and hugging himself.

and patton feels bad abt that and whispers "its okay little prince, daddys not hurt. im sorry for scaring you, honey" and roman just chews his lip and nods and looks down and they dont talk again until logan is back and roman goes out to take care of vee and logan comes in to lie with patton and rub his chest soothingly

logan is distressed and frustrated and shaken at that point but he knows not to have their conversation until the next day bc patton will be emotionally and physically exhausted

but the next day they have a serious talk - logans pretty ANGRY that patton was so ignorant of his wellbeing that he didnt refill his inhaler, patton brushes it off but logan says its a good thing he secretly kept one for patton (bc he almost suspected this might happen)

it rly hits patton when logan tells him if he had needed anymore puffs than he took they wouldve had to phone an ambulance - like patton not wanting to worry his family by admitting his asthma was acting up backfired way more and has made them worry even more because he had a full attack that could have gone so much worse

the whole conversation is VERY stern and serious even at the start when patton smiles and chuckles and jokes and brushes it off logan just gets frustrated and upset. logan is SO angry literally he is glaring at patton when patton brushes it off and makes jokes abt it and he snaps.

logan actually very seriously tells patton this is self harm and patton goes WHAT nonono no its not i dont know why youre getting so worked up

and logan fucking SNAPS like "Youre not giving your body what it needs to survive because you dont think your worth that!! you're neglecting your basic needs to the point of needing urgent medical care, doesnt that sound familiar??? doesnt that sound like something we've both been through before???" clearly referencing his eating disorder

and pattons eyes go wide and he profusely apologises hes like im so sorry oh my gosh logan honey im sorry did i trigger you im sorry and logans just like STOP APOLOGISING this isnt about me its about you!

and he sso angry bc he thought they trusted each other but the fact that patton didnt tell him when he literally couldnt breathe is so scary to logan

but that is basically an argument bc logan was so fucking worried and devastated that patton has ignored his health to such an extent and vee gets nervous bc both her and roman can hear them yelling and she thinks the cgs will breakup bc they "had a fight"

but once theyre finished talking and vee shakily asks if theyre not gonna be a family anymore they'll of course comfort faer and talk abt it, its not a fight its a disagreement and mummys and daddys have those sometimes. theyre still a family and they still love each other very very much. they all soend their family day together as usual, though patton isnt as able to get up and play with roman understandably

also the fact this all comes around the same week patton and logan tell vee that janus wants to babysit, thats why patton has been absent from the blog recently i guess bc hes been keeping busy trying to work through his feelings of janus wanting to come in

hhh yeah... the way it lines up to patton's other insecurities abt janus coming into the family and it all just piles on too much all at once

so on monday morning logan goes with patton to get more inhalers and they actually stay out for while like they go to a forest or smth just to be alone and help patton recenter a little - he's always loved being in nature, it really brings him a lot of peace, being in nature is really the best way to keep patton grounded from his dissociation, thats why hes always gardening

and logan doesnt want to be angry at him and he knows patton needs support and comfort atm even is patton doesnt think he does so they have a calm day just being together and logan trying to remind patton that hes there for him

HHH stop bc they YEAH bc they kinda had a fight even though it did get 'resolved' but they needed to take time to reconnect their energies and like show each other (and specifically logan show patton) that their love is still secure and their friendship is still strong - just the quiet care of logan taking patton somewhere they can just be alone without responsibilities

secretly patton was rlly upset that logan got angry with him but he didnt show it but logan KNOWS him and he knows he needs to fix it with queality time (pats love lang) because pattons been alone a lot recently, its just been that he keeps busy and accidentaly distanced himself bc the others would all be busy and hanging out in some way and he fet a bit abandoned but yeah logan is dedicating the whole day to him

and patton does end up talking abt his inner turmoil a little but not until theyre like in the middle of the forest and hes a lot calmer and theres no one around, he just feels so much calmer and safer in nature to open up like that.

and this is when patton tells logan about his worries about janus becoming closer to vee, and how its lovely for them but what if it hurts vee, what if they dont get along, what if they DO get along and vee wants to move back with janus. Logan doesnt say anything to the worries, he knows patton just needs to blurt them out while he can, while it mixes with the sounds of nature.

then patton mentions quietly that dr picani phoned him a couple weeks ago and told him that he would like to offer patton a trial session of therapy - not with vee, just patton. logan very calmly asks if that sounds like sometnging that might be helpful for patton and patton just giggles nervously "um i dont know. Vee has therapy"

logan frowns. "yes she does. but that doesnt mean you cant have it too, if you would like it"

patton goes quiet and looks anxious, scratching at the moss on the log theyve sat down on. so logan takes his hand and looks very earnestly at him and says gently "i would like you to at least accept the trial session. It is your decision but... i think it might be worth a try"

patton nods a little, just looking at their intertwined fingers. and after a long silence where they can just hear the birds tweeting and the wind rustling the leaves and small animals scurrying along the grass, patton finally looks up at logan and breathes "i'll go to therapy"

and when patton says that out loud suddenly his eyes well up and he sees logan smile at him - a little sad and a lot proud - and feels his hand squeeze and the tears just dont stop coming and he hides his eyes but laughs nervously like haha dont know why im crying this is so silly! but logan doesnt say anything to it, he just pulls patton into his side and rests his head on pattons head...

and patton keeps trying to laugh and joke but its so choked and sad and nervous and wet and logan wraps his other arm around patton too and just grntly whispers "pumpkin, its okay if youre not happy right now."

and patton just starts sobbing into logans shoulder and logan holds him so tight as they sit on the log

patton cant cope with silence when its about him yknow, he couldnt handle logan not laughing or tutting at his jokes so he just kept joking until logan insisted its ok to be sad

so once they get home logan sits with pstton while he phones dr picani and books his first solo therapy session for friday morning