#bc of my relationship with my mom

[thewardenisonthecase]

btw tw for talking about abuse

I've seen a lot online about how the game never mentions Caterina's abuse of Lucanis while he was growing up (being beaten and starved, which is mentioned in the Wigmaker Job) and I think there's a small mention to it if you're a crow (when asked, he says it was torture training under the first talon and that he resented her for a long time)

And while I do think part of the reason why this isn't brought up is just due to how sanitized this game is when it comes to the crows, I think I do understand why in world wise it's not possible to just be like hey lucanis, fuck your grandma.

It's really hard, loving someone who hurts you. Because you know they're hurting you and yet, you still love them. It's even harder when they're family.

Because its not like Lucanis doesn't know that she hurt him. He says so himself - he hated her, he resented her, and althought I do think him 'justifying' it by saying that at least it prepared him for the life of a crow, at least he still admits that it happened.

But the thing is that despite all this shit, she's still his grandmother. And like, yes, blood shouldn't excuse justifing this behaviour, I feel like it's cultural. Idk how spain or italy works when it comes to family, but here in brazil, you'll hear so many stories of physical abuse happening in families, and its still a situation like Lucanis - i hate them, i resent them, i love them, they're my family.

It's a...complicated situation and I think Lucanis's situation is made worst by the fact that he only has two family members alive and that he cannot let go of.

She beat him, she starved him, he hated and resented her, and he was afraid of dissapointing her, even if in her eyes, i don't think he could. I mean, he comes back an abomination and she still tenderly says 'my poor boy' when you rescue her in the Villa.

All in all...it's tought and I think that it would not be Rook's place to suddenly make Lucanis want to kill his grandma bc he wouldn't. Sorting out those feelings is something he has to do himself, and i'l almost glad the game doesn't make rook do a therapy session with him to talk about it.

[fumifooms]

Dad always said I was like him

Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui

^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown

When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.

[talkaboutanythingcuswhynot]

Imagine Odysseus taking one of those ‘who is your godly parent?’ Test(for fun ofc)

He gets Athena, and it’s rlly fluffy, happy mentor-mentee moment-

Until Hermes see that

He weeps(dramatically, ofc) so shocked about such a betrayal, Athena how dare you steal my great-grandson??

[romatito]

joão accidentally became very important in my pirate au so i needed to find an excuse for him to stick around. also i wanted to draw him again 🥸

[omint]

[bumblingbabooshka]

Voyager's obsession with every female character being a mother either literally or metaphorically is so dire like even SESKA got pregnant. Someone put a planned parenthood in the Delta Quadrant PLEASE. Someone start handing out condoms, this is an EMERGENCY.

[waterdroid]

There's this one stream from June where Hbomberguy plays Tactical Brach Wizards and chats with Tom Francis (the game's creator, writer and developer), and the whole thing is really interesting! They talk mostly about the development of the game and some of what Tom says is already on the Developer's Comment in the special edition, BUT there are some lore things/fun details that I found interesting:

Being a wizard in this world is regarded more or less the same way as being a doctor in ours ("It's impressive, but no one's like, 'oh my god, can i get an autograph'")

Jen's mom is an arcanist

Bank's heart "canonically isn't pounding" in the missions because "she's used to life and death situations"

Banks "cares about who lives and dies"

Tom mentions that Banks doesn't have as good of a relationship with the rest of the team, and that her and Jen's relationship is "hot and cold" (LMAO)

Darrell's hiding spots were all basically John Roberts' idea (the game's sole artist)

The world of Tactical Breach Wizards (as in, the geography and literal placement of countries) intentionally does not look like the real world. "The DSR resembles the UK and America in some ways", but isn't really a 1 to 1 so "they don't map to real clichés and dynamics of the world".

[moonpaw]

I love unhinged women

[thelilylav]

The fact that Briar is listed as one of Rosabella's best friends in her profile but Briar's profile barely mentions her..

[millidew]

sometimes a family is you, your girlfriend, her husband who's also your boyfriend, your mutual son and his electric rat, a mr. mime, and a baby

[possamble]

What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

[sukibenders]

"Rhaenyra isn't the stepmother, she's the mother who stepped up!"

The HOTD writers themselves are hardly doing anything to support that narrative, so I take this rhetoric with a grain of salt. While I think, in some way, Rhaenyra does care for Baela and Rhaena....if I had to point out a motherly figure for them that could pose as someone stepping in Laena's place, Rhaenyra would not be it.

[thousand-winters]

Thinking a lot about Kaido today and his whole perspective about lying/telling the truth when it comes to your loved ones.

It's interesting to me that Kaido always seems to be the first to freak out in the scenarios in which they all find out that Saiki is a psychic, or whenever they're close to finding out (actually pretty similar to his reaction to finding out Kuboyasu used to be a delinquent too). There's an obvious element to it of him feeling like he's been deceived right away even if he can rationalize it eventually and realize that maybe it doesn't really matter.

The thing is he... isn't the most honest person out there either. There's his whole deal with his chuunibyou complex, for one, though like others have pointed out, in a way that's more true to who he is than –and this is what I was specifically thinking about– how he seems to present himself to his mother.

It's not that everything Kaido's mother thinks about him is completely wrong. People have different aspects to them and the vision she has of a Shun that can introduce himself easyly to people, who's sweet and obedient isn't necessarily all that wrong.

He seems to behave with his siblings in the same way he does with his friends but not with his mom. It stands out to me that she thanked Nendo and Saiki for being his friends because he's "shy", when we've seen him being everything but that. But isn't it true anyway? His whole act seems to give him the confidence to actually call attention and interact with people, but Saiki and Nendo seems to be his first friends in... well, who knows, maybe ever? (Not counting Raiden since he was more of like an older student he admired rather than a friend, I take it).

In the end both sides of who he is are partially true to who he is, but I think his more extravagant behavior is definitely him finding in it a way in which he can fit in and be himself, so it rings more true. He wants to be someone special, who belongs, someone who's well liked and brave and powerful. And in a way it works! Fake it til you make it. While he's not becoming an overpowered guy from another universe fighting against evil anytime soon, he does find courage in his act, and he ends up surrounded by people who might think he's being silly but they aren't bullying him because of his dramatics. He has a place there in which he can just be without any expectations.

He clearly does love his mom and his mom loves him, but the dynamic there is different. With the way he plays up the "polite boy who can't do no wrong" act around her and how she uses terms of such endearment with him, it feels more... contained. Kaido knows his mom expects a certain behavior from him and he wants to please her. Everything he does to indulge himself is in secrecy (again, his whole act) and it doesn't interfere with what his mom expects from him so most of the time that's not a problem, he can study at home and go to cram school and do what she expects him to do without it clashing with who he is outside of that.

But he can't be honest with what he wants or who he wants to be because he knows she won't approve. He braces himself when she starts talking to Nendo and Saiki because he already knew she wouldn't like them not being studious (makes me wonder if he ever did have a friend before and she didn't approve. If so, I imagine they weren't close enough for him to protest the loss like with these two).

Kaido does seem to be smart, not top of the class smart but it's stated he usually does get good grades since he has good options to get into university and his overall ranking is good. But he doesn't really seem to have any particular passion for his studies, that's something his mom wants for him. He doesn't seem to hate it either, but if anything he seems to gravitate a little more toward creative endeavors; he got excited right away with the idea of making a manga with Kuboyasu, he was trying too hard at the art gallery but trying nonetheless, and then of course his daydreamings.

That's not something he's sharing with his mom. It feels natural for him to be embarrassed of his act in front of his mom, but I mean... it's hardly like he's embarrassed about doing that in front of the whole class, so I do get the feeling it might be in part because that has nothing to do with what he's supposed to be doing with his time, especially since Saiki mentions Kaido's mom is right and his grades have been suffering.

Overall, it's quite ironic in that sense that despite seemingly loving his mom, Kaido can't bring himself to stand up to her for his own wishes most of the time, and he's not completely truthful about the person he is in front of her. And yet the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because both of them think the exact same when it comes to their loved ones being honest to them.

I think perhaps that's what makes a little difference when it comes to their views; Kaido does come to accept things like Saiki being an esper and not telling him for the longest time and Kuboyasu with his delinquent past. Because while he clearly has the same ideas about a person being completely honest with you in order to have a proper positive bond with them, he hides too. There might be some truth to who he is in his chuunnibyou act in the sense of what he wants to be, but even then he's still hiding from his mom.

He's the first to freak out at the thought of being deceived by someone he cares about, but I think, at the end of the day, he does realize that honesty does matter to him, yes, but in the same way he does want to protect people even if he's terrified out of his mind and his act helps him pretend in that way, Kuboyasu earnestly trying to live in a more respectable way isn't a lie, Saiki being there for them all and being their friend isn't a lie.

On that note, this particular moment with him and Nendo is very interesting:

Because here Kaido obviously was lying on purpose for April's fools and going overboard with it, but knowing Nendo trusted him about the camera incident when nobody else did? It meant a lot, and his way of sort of solidifying that trust is promising to himself that he won't lie to Nendo again.

He obviously does keep the whole Black Jet Wings persona even so, as he does around everybody, but I do think that's in part because that's not a lie to him, it's an act and a game, but in a way it is part of the kind of person he is.

[cottageivy]

ava during her volunteering at a ranch and hooking up with the ranch owners daughter era + the daughter in question

[greyedian]

MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.

[brackenfur]

it makes me soooo sad but i feel like this is how alderheart/sparkpelt + lionblaze/jayfeather think abt squirrelflight sometimes :((((((