#trying to be delusional and happy after god games

[talkaboutanythingcuswhynot]

Imagine Odysseus taking one of those ‘who is your godly parent?’ Test(for fun ofc)

He gets Athena, and it’s rlly fluffy, happy mentor-mentee moment-

Until Hermes see that

He weeps(dramatically, ofc) so shocked about such a betrayal, Athena how dare you steal my great-grandson??

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere alphabet for Zhongli from genshin impact.

Sure! He gets an Alphabet as he doesn't actually have a concept written or in the drafts-

Yandere Alphabet - Zhongli

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Isolation, Delusional behavior, Mentioned forced marriage, Kidnapping implied, Dark themes, Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

I imagine Zhongli isn't very used to affection at first. He's an Archon who has spent most of his lifetime in war and being a God. As a result... affection isn't something he really needed. Not in the romantic sense, at least.

He'd probably attempt affection he's seen humans do throughout the ages. He's quiet with affection, almost gentle. He's polite with his affection, never wishing to force it if he doesn't have to.

He's not intense, probably one for soft caresses and gentle praises. Due to him showing dragon-like characteristics, I can see him being possessive, too.

His affection is definitely meant to show comfort due to the way he softly touches you and kisses your skin... watching to see how receptive you are. He, once an Archon, is incredibly patient with you.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Zhongli, for the most part, has matured past violence. He would much rather make deals and propose contracts than outright kill others. For the most part, threats will do with keeping his beloved as his.

But if he must, then he may give into old habits if it means your protection... or his own selfish desires.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Quite well, actually. He may be terrible with Mora, as ironic as that is, but he wants you to live comfortably and happy beside him. His abduction is merely more manipulation... perhaps guilting you into a contract of some kind?

Zhongli would not mock you, he has no reason to. Mocking you will not garner your affection. Instead he treats you like a gentleman, keeping you in a domain similar to the teapot. Your own personal little world.

He feels as your partner, and by his nature as an ex-Archon, he should protect you and keep you happy.

You'll be treated like precious porcelain.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He's against it. He prefers his darling coming to love him naturally. After all, isn't that how most humans do it?

He'll be patient and listen to your concerns as long as they're... reasonable in his mind.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Zhongli may be coy at times, but he tries his best to be honest with you. He hates lying to you and while he is usually stoic, he shows he cares in any way he can.

The issue is... you aren't very vulnerable with him, even when he wants you to be.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Zhongli, as I said before, is patient with you. If you fought with him... it's unfortunately expected. He understands by normal courting standards he's... rushing it.

He'll accept it if you fight him, hoping with time you'll acknowledge him as yours eventually.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Not a game. He wouldn't really enjoy you trying to run from him, either. Finds it... frustrating, actually.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

I'd say him trapping you in a domain to keep you with him. It would be similar to the Teapot realm, a little home where only he and you can reside. Only he can let you out.

Which means you'll be stuck with him unless he provides you with means to escape.

He isn't violent with you, in fact he doesn't even want to hurt you. So the worst experience with him is realizing you can't escape.

Another alternative is him sneakily forcing you into a contract, wording it a certain way so you agree to stay with him. Could also just be a marriage contract, actually....

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

As stated above, Zhongli may want to experience mortal marriage vows with you. Those are another form of deal or contract, right? That's a way to make you his.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

If Zhongli gets jealous, he knows how to hide it. He's stoic, even when irritated with those around you. He can silently cope, often thinking of ways to prevent his jealousy.

Such as keeping you out of sight... only for him to see.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Manipulative, Possessive, Protective, Subtle, Clingy, Charming, Observing.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Through charming words and subtle manipulation. He wants you to trust him. He offers you gifts (he no doubt asked someone else to buy them) and often acts like a gentleman. For the most part, he just seems normal... if not flirty.

You may even date him.

It's only when he expresses a need to keep you to himself or suggests a craving for your companionship that he gets worse. Soon enough he's trying to make subtle contracts with you or keep others away from you. By the time you realize what he's doing...

He's put you in a domain to call your own (reluctantly).

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

His obsession makes his personality darker, yet he's still quite stoic and often avoids others asking about you or where you went.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Isolation. He's patient and did want you to love him on your own. Isolating... something that could break you... would be one way to do that, yes?

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Mostly your right for freedom. But within your shared domain... you can do anything you want as long as it doesn't involve others.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

EXTREMELY.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He's been around a long time... eventually, sure. But he'd rather not lose you. Not now... not ever.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Yes, he'd hate that he may be unable to court you properly. He may let you go... But he's selfish enough to ignore such thoughts.

Other humans aren't good enough for you in his eyes.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Curiosity is a good reason for it. He's curious about experiencing human relationship customs.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Zhongli would want to comfort you. He hates that you don't like being around him. But... He tells himself to be patient.

Abducting you was already a step too far anyways....

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He's willing to wait for you as long as it takes. Even if you die before that.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Not many I can think of except maybe reciprocation-

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Never.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Ironically for an Archon, it's fun to think of Zhongli worshipping his beloved. It seems like it would be rare... but he hasn't experienced this with anyone else. As a result... He may hold you in high regard. He'd do nearly anything for you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

A long time.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Not intentionally. But he could.

[nathaslosthershit]

We need to try that again|| Jack Hughes x reader

Pairing: Jack Hughes x reader

Warnings: I never know what warnings to give, kissing (?)

Summary: In the heat of the moment, you kiss your boyfriend. The only problem? It was your first kiss with each other and he doesn’t feel he got to “savor” it enough. What a dork.

A/n: This is corny I know and probably so far from what Jack is like but let a girl be delusional. 

Word Count: 800+

You and Jack would be cooking a meal together, alone and in the comfort of your own home. Or, maybe he would play an intense and very important game where he scored the game winning goal in OT and you two would meet afterwards, running into each other's arms like it was a cheesy romance film. Maybe he'd take you to a nice dinner and before getting into the car ask “can I kiss you?”

Maybe these fantasies were stupid to spend your time thinking about but after almost a month of dating Jack, almost a month without a single kiss, you had been hoping for something romantic and sweet to mark your first of, hopefully, many kisses. But there has been nothing. Nada. You have been patient and were happy to wait longer for him but just wanted to know, why? Why has it taken so long for him to kiss you?

But now that you think about it, you could easily kiss him first. Maybe it doesn’t matter if its sweet and well thought out. Maybe what you needed was a heated, spur of the moment kiss with your beautiful boyfriend.

But is that what you wanted, something not thought out? Didn’t you crave the anticipation of waiting knowing it was about to happen. Knowing that the butterflies in your stomach fluttered at the same velocity as the ones in his.

While lost in thought Jack had managed to finally reach your apartment. He was supposedly at practice. Actually there was no practice but that's what he told you so you'd be surprised when he came over with take-out and flowers. On his way over, he had to bite his lip to stop the stupid smile on his face, but the older woman passing by noticed it, as well as his urgency and the flowers in his hand, and gave him a knowing smile as she laughed while walking in the opposite direction. It was clear to everyone, those in his life and those just observing, that this relationship was different and he treated it as such. 

He enjoyed the feeling of getting almost dizzy from all the excitement of being around you. It was new and so unlike anything he'd had with anyone else in the past. That's why he couldn’t get himself to make any new moves. It's scary to act when you feel something so intensely. 

Opening the door to reveal a very smiley Jack Hughes was a very shocking but very welcome surprise. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Wow come on don’t be too excited to see me” he replies snarkily. 

“Im sorry, I just thought you'd had practice, you did tell me you had practice, did you not?”

“I did but I didn’t have practice. Wanted to surprise you so I stretched the truth a little. You aren’t upset about that, right?” He suddenly looked worried.

In that split second, you had made up your mind. Grabbing his collar and kissing him deeply, he drops the bag of food and flowers from impact. The noise they made startled you enough to come to your senses. As you quickly pull away, you can see a mix of confusion, panic, and possibly lust on his face. His silence snaps you out of your post kiss daze enough to start freaking out.

“Shit, Jack. I don't know what- I wasn’t thinking, i'm so-”

“We need to try that again.” 

“Excuse me”

“You just kissed me”

“...I did”

“Quickly.”

“I guess”

“I didn’t get to savor it.” He coughs out. At this admission, his face is bright red and grows an even deeper red when he hears your laugh.

“Savor it? Oh my god, Jack, what romcom did you take that line from?”

“You know what? Maybe i'll enjoy these flowers and this food by myself if you want to-”

“Just get inside, Jack. I'll kiss you again but only if we aren't standing in the hallway for all my neighbors to see.”

When you pull him in and close the door, you realize this is what you had hoped for. Shared butterflied as you look at one another, waiting for the other to make a move, knowing what was next and being as excited as you were nervous for it. 

Finally he pulls you in.

“Much better” Jack mumbles against your lips.

[chasedeys]

If Ja’marr managed to drag Joe out of Cincy and take an actual break - where do you think he would take him? 🤔

(Im depressed over the loss so I’ve been trying to think of happy scenarios for the pookies)

hiiiii as per usual this got long wkwkk and idk more delusional than usual and i kept being sad abt everything 😭😭 so:

they're on different states currently i'm pretty sure?? joe back in cincy terrorizing the bengals facility and himself there while ja'marr had his usual acupuncture rehab session back in nola and who knows if they're both still there. probably tbh. i fully support them being away from each other lollll take some time away from work after that shitshow and that unfortunately includes your best friend (who you are in love with etc) who is also your coworker!

i imagine ja'marr being on a social media cleanse (thank fuck i hope he doesn't tweet anything please for the love of god i need them all to shut up why do they do this) so he probably doesn't know that joe is at the stadium until somebody (his dad? sister?) mentions it to him and he's all 'of course he is. he's throwing with dan isn't he.' and he gives joe what a day or two to get it out of joe's system before flying his ass to cincy and nagging at the man to stop trying to twist himself up into a pretzel.

for those few days ja'marr does spend himself because he too needs it ja'marr drives all around nola, shoots the shit with some old high school friends, plays in his old hangouts arcades hooping idk does he hoop i think not, eats out with his family, does chores with his mom, eats his body's worth in nola cuisine that sports nutritionists would weep at, etc etc. (also i thought his son lives with his mom lol i thought she takes care of him when ja'marr's busy with the season apparently his bm does it??? but i imagine he'd spend some time with junior too he loves that baby like crazyyy)

ja'marr sends joe random pics of his days, a snap of his mom nagging at him because he keeps putting needless shit into the shopping cart, a random cat wearing a bell on the sidewalk, the setting sun, a cloud shaped like a football, some seafood boil, some old friends of theirs messing up his dining room table, etc etc. joe replies back in short sentences or just ok emojis. ja'marr doesn't take it to heart. several random times joe sends the world's most shittiest one liners for some reason and ja'marr hypes him up while simultaneously telling him he needs help.

would they go to miami and get joe on a boat 🤗 ja'marr probably tested the waters first lmao if joe would be susceptible to some forceful shenanigans outside of his comfort zone. maybe joe would be like sighing and going yeah sure whatever can't hurt at this point and mainly because he himself wants to put a smile on ja'marr's face. maybe it's like that gq magazine clothes saga/get me the fucking ball where joe realizes that ja'marr wants him on a boat with him via the media (talk to each other for the love of god why does ja'marr keep spilling shit to the media unknowingly making joe realize what he wants via said media 'i didn't know i do it through media' baby please. please.) imagining ja'marr trying to be sneaky getting joe on that fucking boat but joe knows exactly what he's doing because ja'marr can't lie for shit to him and joe just telling him to quit it he'll go on the boat with him ffs and trying to hide his smile when ja'marr starts lighting up in surprised joy (experiencing joy because you brought out joy in someone else!!! doing something outside your comfort zone to put a smile on someone's face!!!!)

maybe they'll miraculously show up for another bball game. pretty sure ja'marr only fucks with the lakers lmao so maybe they pop by for an at home la game (back to la....hmm.....or just their away games nvm. they play at suns again on the 27th lol), break bengalsblr for a second time with their 🤨🤨🤨 matching outfits and weirdly first date vibes. maybe joe will finally drag ja'marr to a ufc game for a change! (i don't actually know any ufc matches...google says the nearest is the 23rd and then dec 8th?? idk any of these people 😭)

doing some shopping?? finding more matching outfits specifically shoes bc apparently that's where they their fashion interests intersect?? god bless if ja'marr makes joe wear one of his chunky interesting boots.

museummm dateessss but specifically national history museums or those space science museums or dinosaurs museums or those creepy oddities museum do you think they'd fuck with that probably not tbh. maybe they switch things up do things that ja'marr wants (boats, bball games, etc) and what joe wants (museums, ufc matches, etc) that's so cute wow. but ja'marr waits patiently as joe nerds out on the fossils and gigantic ass 3d planet renditions and those augmented topography booths where they can move sand and it automatically changes the color projections??? ja'marr remembers joe talking abt this shit one time and does his due diligence researching where it actually is and takes the man there. joe looks on fondly as ja'marr gets into it himself because the science museum offers so many interactive shit even he gets excited for it when originally he just took them there for joe.

late night walks that seem supremely out of character tbh. post clubbing (?) but they find they cannot stand crowds that night for some reason so they walk out and just stroll the midnight away. hanging out on some bridge leaning over railings talking about some easy plays, some insane ones they've made and want to streamline, ja'marr shares some of his cute little bathroom mirror post it notes goals for the season, joe shares that he's considering switching up his throwing arm practices, joe says he wants to do some blocking and tackling exercises and ja'marr tells him to shut the fuck up....okay sure but don't actually try to do it in game unless he absolutely has to. drinking shitty corner store bought beers and making stupid little jokes about their mistakes they can finally make light of under the flickering street lights and shrouded moonlight and blood buzzing slightly from shit alcohol. i don't think they've ever actually been in the position where they won't make the playoffs together. last year joe was injured so it maybe doesn't count idk. playing so fucking well together yet not making it is…..befuddling. so maybe they'll spend some time talking about that and coming to terms on it too. (actual verbal communication...hmmm)

breaking into a random community outdoor basketball court and they didn't find any bballs to play with but there's a dilapidated little football (of course there is. sharing a little smile because of course there's a football in a basketball court for them. out of all the courts they could end up in.) for some reason so they throw and catch with little success joe throws for barely 3 yards but they make each other laugh because 'damn jb that's pathetic' 'well maybe you should run and catch it what are you doing just standing there' and then it turns into a little game of tag and joe straight up tries to tackle ja'marr except he's shit at tackling and ja'marr never goes down on first contact but he lets joe bring him down and they just end up caking their stupid expensive clothes with dust and dirt with lightly scratched elbows and shins, staring up at the night sky with barely any stars, the street lights irritating their peripheral vision, limbs slightly grazing each other's, finally quiet and settled, barely fidgeting like they've been doing these past few weeks.

they both send stupid little snaps (do they use snapchat??? or just instagram ig) to tee who replies back cursing at them for not inviting him. they pop by his place literally the minute he replies that because technically they're just waiting for an 'invite'.

little family get together where joe finally gets to eat the chase family seafood boil??!!?!?!? the chases comforting him too :( they should go to a pet kennel (??? what are these called omg im too tired to search 😭) and pet some dogs and cats for therapy tbh

before joe goes back to spend more time with his fam and ja'marr with his and whatever shit they want to do apart before back to the reality of practices and season games, they watch the la film together. nitpick on each other's game. apologize for their mistakes once and move on with improvements.

in all honesty if i was remotely aware what places to go to in america that would fit these two this'll be a longer list but well

but wait sorry if i can just yap a bit for the team as a whole ngl i think everyone being away from literally everybody in the team would be good for everyone as whole (yes even joemarr from each other and god why tf is joe in the facility ffs) like just keep to yourselves and stay the fuck off twt and ig jesus these dramatic ass men have they never heard of a 2nd acc or even a burner account. like stay with your family and recharge for at least 2 days idk 3 or a whole damn week actually then come back greet each other like you love them and let go of your baggage and start getting your shit together for real. the vibes are terrible it's so confusing you were THE team the past 3 years and the vibes changed to SHIT starting literally WEEK 1 that i believe is from the jamarr contract debacle suddenly playing game 1 and the entire thing finally got put to rest by ja'marr himself (as he should! the thing about joe and ja'marr is they fix their shit! they know they made mistakes and they actually fix it!! he knows the contract stumps his joy from playing so he left it behind and got his groove back literally scored 2 tuddys the next game). but i do hope they all learn how to navigate each other again and actually work together as a team and better their communication. it's kind of funny that they went on that bonding trip only to have the worst bench vibes that same game 😭. snapping at your teammates is normal tbh but letting that shit keep on festering without actually making an effort to fix it is just cancerous and on whatever miracle hail mary some of them still believe they can make the playoffs needs to start there. and maybe some audacious change in play calling lmao just try anything at this point.

ok bye hhh

[gailhai1storm]

You are the closest thing I have to an Ender’s Game mutual and you like the mechanisms so I inflict this brain dump upon ye (/lh)

Ender Runs ends up on his own at some point after the war ends and the end of the first book (Preferably the closer to the end of the war because I think it makes this a bit funnier and more angst potential) and Ender ends up finding an unfamiliar ship and wondering on to assess the danger or if it’s like right after the war in a state of extreme emotional distress and The Aurora decides hmm let’s take in this traumatized genius child after the fixes something while mumbling to himself. He hides when he hears people coming on the ship they seem very rowdy and violent ( like seriously that Johnny guy just threatened to shoot somebody because they didn’t want to go out for dinner) and they takeoff and now we have the entirety of the mechanisms and Ender Wiggins on the same ship

I personally would make it so the mechanisms just absorb this traumatized genius child who committed Xenocide into the crew he can keep a beat an is just messed up as the rest of them and Ender finally gets some “responsible” adults in his life

Sorry for dumping my delusional happy crossover on you but you gotta do what you gotta do

dont be sorry this is so rad oh my god!

idk if you write fan fic but if you wrote this I would read it so fucking fast you don't even understand.

ender would have such a time with the mechs I think he would be trying so hard to analyst those fuckers and I don't know how the fuck that would go but it would be fun!

god im inain abou this too now.

that you

[disventure-rewrite-takes]

Let all the villains merge in All Stars.

Gabby became way more interesting as a villain. Fiore was more fun when she wasn't just a bullied child. Yul is at his best when evil. Grett is an anti-hero anyway. Ellie should have been more evil. Riya should have be more morally gray. Alec.

You can keep Ashley, Ally and Toms plots to pre-merge. It's not like the yellow team is doing much anyway. Give a bit more time to Magenta and Cyan team can stay the same.

So final 9 is the 7 Villains and...Aiden and Jake. They start off haters (this can stay - I like this) but become fast friends like is seen in Episode 12 and 13.

Now at this point the villains decide that they want to scrap each other. It starts with Ellie trying to take a shot at Alec and get control - which fails miserably. It could be a nice callback to Ellie's "there's no honour among thieves" and it would make the comeback challenge more interesting in terms of Ellie.

Fiore could be taken down for being a "liability" to the villains (read - Alec can't work his fairytale bullshit magic anymore). I think it'd be more fun for the story of Fiore. She worked when she was underestimated - but now she's measured and estimated. But she proved that she didn't need surprise to make it far.

Then it's Yul for being a general piece of shit.

Then it's Riya because she's such a strong competitor and she's too close to Alec, which I think would be fun. She went from losing because she was alone - and it causing her emptiness - to losing because she was too social - and yet it makes her happy.

Alec can win an immunity and clutch to the end of his game, and Grett gets voted out because her arc is done. She proved to the haters that she was more than her self-image, she made friends, broke up with her shitty boyfriend and she got further (it's not lost on me that Grett's arc is just Ally's but better - at least as far as All-Stars has shown us), but he goes immediately after, leaving Gabby...and Jake and Aiden.

It would amuse me to no end if Jake and Aiden yaoibait their way to the end off terrible jokes, a tongue and cheek friendship that would absolutely turn romantic if neither of them were in relationships and so many immunities. Give them competence, something to do! Make them the underdogs and show how their story is one of rising to the top.

And the villains, who were all powerful and strong? They lose. They blow up their own games through hatred and malice, while the two who chose friendship and love make it through to the end.

Gabby wins btw. She getting that bag for her and her girlfriend (even if I don't see her winning actual All Stars).

yaoitbait jakeden... fuuuck i’m so delusional about them oh my god (mod alec getting caught up on two lines of text)

i absolutely ADORE the idea of the villains ultimately going down despite trying their best and losing to two twinks who just decided Yeah We’re Okay Actually. it would’ve made for an interesting plot both from the perspective of the villains and the twinks and would’ve given them even more depth. i hope we can see more of them soon i miss them already

[sunnychuuya]

FUCK OKAY SO I SCCIDENTALLY DWLETWD THE OG POST I WAS MAKING ITS FINE THO

What is this it makes me think of the recent bsd chapters lmao

So basically I'm in the temple placing the booms

ASH FUCKING DROPPED A VASE THIS KS WHY K HATE YO UTAGHH

I put em all down- now I have to make it out. I don't believe in myself. My heart is speedy

NEIL AND MAPLE FUCKING DIE TOO GUYS I CANT HAVE ONEBOUNCE OF HAPPY

AhhhhHHH STUPID UGLY BOY THAT I LOVD

"I'll finally be with my Todd again" guys this game sucks booo I'm crying.

ASH GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD FINALLY DO SOMETHING, BUT NOOOO YOU CANR DO IT AND NOW THE CULT IS STILL THRIVINF AND THE WORLDS FONNA END.

SAL COULD KILL LITTERALLY EVERYONE IN THS FUCKING APARTMENTS TO TRY TO STOP THE SPREAD

AND YOU CANT KILL A FEW OF YOUR FRIENDS

I KNOW IT FUCKING SUCKS

BUT IS LIKE

IT HAS TO BE DONE GOD DAMNIT

just got the title screen for memories and dreams mmm ourple

Oh what da fuk

guys I'm. A L I T T L E confused to say the least

"Ugh never mind" great to see after murdering his loved ones and getting excuted hea still the same silly man

Why is this SO FUCKING COOL

LARRYS DAD?!

"I stopped nothing. I died for nothing. I... killed... for nothing." Owie ow ow owie ow ow fucking ow

SAL IS THE CHOSEN ONE

UR A WIZAR-

great a shattered soul

Guys pls I'm so eepy and I'm sure sal is too I mean heblitterally died- can u not make me go hunting for sjit

"There used to be a. Door here.. uhm there it is." Dkkdkd

GIZMO BACKSTORY

I think my eyes just started bleeding st the sudden artsyle change what in the mickey mouse fuckery is this

is that a fucking zelda reference is that fucking beedle (I might be delusional)

Purple thingies

I tried the microwave and TV and tried combining them wtf is the code

*cutely turns to google*

Thats painfully obvious.

WOW RHANKS FOR MAKING MY ENTIRE FUCKING SOUL LEAVE MY BODY JESUS CRHIST

Holy shir ig their making up for the lack of jumpscares last chapter H U H

bro idfk what I'm doin.

OH SBIT WHAT THE FYCK

GUYS I DONT LIKE HOROR

Wow trauma 😀 fuck off henry

AH POLYGYONS

ozohh spinnys again RANDOM BUTTON SMASH GO

the noise is skko aggressive I'm gonna cry

TRINGLE

PNCE AGAIN THE SOLUTION IS RANDOM BUTTON MASH UNTIL SOMWTHING HAPPENS

fcyk wait I might actually get it-

Nvm j don't:(

Fuck dude I got no clue

cutely gives up

Ill figure it out tmmrw I swear

@mypinterestgotbannedsoimherenow

Im eepy tonight so not a ton

[roonotrue]

Cult of the Lamb: Redemption Chapter #3

TW: Graphic depictions of injuries and wounds.

Patience - Lamb

Words hurt.

The Lamb knew this. They've seen the way words cut.

The way they stun people, leave them speechless, and then send the world crashing down on them in one swift, and lethal blow.

But they've never felt it themselves until now.

They never wanted things to turn out like this. They never asked for this... They just wanted to live. To be happy. To be free.

But now?

They have the weight of everything they've built on their shoulders. They want to keep their cult safe. Their followers, and friends- dare they say, family.

They want to keep them happy, and well.

So when The One Who- Narinder... When he demanded they...

After everything they've been through, with the scar on their neck proof of their first execution, he demanded that they go through it again? And Lamb so foolishly...

Perhaps they were naive from the start to have trusted him. To have thought that in comparison to the other gods of the land that had ordered the genocide of his kind... He was... Better.

Naive to think that Narinder was different. A good god, locked away by the evil ones, and that they were some kind of shining lamb knight, meant to free him, and restore peace... It was such a childish idea.

Narinder had been no better than the Bishops. Just desperate for power, no matter how much blood was spilled to get it.

They had thought that maybe in the end, if they had spared him, he would...

They feel so stupid.

Standing outside of Narinder's shelter, back against the wall, and hand over their slammed-shut eyes, trying to stop the tears.

The former god of death would never change. He is still just so angry.

~~~

"Be patient, Lamb. He's spent so long festering in his rage, and it is going to take a long time for him to learn how to live a life without it." Ratau pat their shoulder after a long game of knucklebones that they ultimately lost.

They have spent more than half of it complaining about the feline ex-god and the hell he had given them over simply eating.

"I'm trying, but it's me! He hates me! He's never going to understand why I did what I did or that I... That I actually do care about..." Him.

That they care about him.

He had been their savior. Giving them a second chance, and a third, and fourth, and fifth. Every time they died during a crusade, he was there. To greet them, and bring them back.

Sometimes they would talk. Narinder would listen to them, give advice, laugh at their jokes...

They thought he cared... They had certainly cared. They cared so, so much.

The One Who Waits was one of the only beings who truly understood what they were going through. He had been kind to them...

~~~

It was all a facade though. They see that now. Or, hell, perhaps they had just been delusional. Perhaps it was always just a one-sided illusion, them thinking the world of someone who truly hadn't cared at all.

Perhaps they shouldn't have spared him.

Saved them both the agony they're in now...

"I hate you. I will always hate you. No matter how desperately you try to prove yourself to me, I have nothing left in my heart but resentment, and anger when I see you. You, from this moment on, will be nothing but the bane of my fucking immortal existence."

Narinder's words repeat in their head like a mantra.

Hate. He hates them.

~~~

"Empathize with him." Noon remarked, turning the page of his lavender leather-covered book that Lamb had found in Silk Cradle for them.

"What?" Their head jolted to him, staring like the white rabbit had grown a second head.

"Empathize, Lamb. I know he's being difficult, Theyra and Una were talking earlier about how you snapped at him through the door, but he's... Adjusting. Just try thinking about things from his point of view. He's lost everything, and now you have it. I can't imagine that would be easy for anyone, no matter what kind of person they are, good or evil." He looks up at them, and they turn their gaze to the ground, mulling over the words.

"I can do that easily enough... How do I get him to see things my way though? How do I get him to..."

Forgive me...

"Patience. I know it's not your strong suit, but I have faith in you. I'd be a pretty shitty follower if I didn't."

~~~

Empathize. Just. Empathize.

He's angry. So be patient. He's in pain, and from what they can tell from his physical wounds, a lot of it, so emotionally? They can only guess.

Not to mention he still hasn't eaten in a while, so he's probably hangry too.

They take deep, steadying breaths, and let a cool breeze dry their eyes as they do. They still wipe their face as they walk back inside, and see Narinder sunken in on himself in the bed.

He looks so... Small like this. His former white and red robes were abandoned near the bottom of the bed on the floor. Dirty and unpleasant smelling, he had probably thrown them off when he first went to bed.

His wounds aren't bleeding. They can only guess that they had partially healed when he had been spared, and they had indoctrinated them, hence why they weren't obvious when he first arrived.

Then again, they were still too hazy and flooded with adrenaline and mixed emotions to even want to look at Narinder when they were showing him to his shelter.

A part of them wants to leave this whole ordeal for tomorrow after all the feline had dealt with it for this long...

But with how gruesome the injuries look, even with the way he's protectively hunched over trying to hide them, Lamb knows they have to treat them today. No matter how painfully Narinder's words had lashed him.

They're sure the cat has much harsher ones in store for the future, so they need to start growing thick skin now. Those ones had just...

"I have nothing left in my heart but resentment..."

Taken them by surprise.

Narinder is staring down at his wrists, and though his ears flick towards their footsteps, they don't look at them.

"That food was awful." He growls instead, but his voice has lost its venom.

And from the way his head falls back as Lamb sits, and moves to take his arm, it's apparent that the fight is gone from him for now. Now he just looks tired, and bitter.

As if the toxin on his tongue from earlier left a bad taste in even his own mouth.

Or perhaps he was just coming to terms with this whole situation. Whatever the case, they don't feel like speculating what's going on in their head right now. They just want to throw the bandages on and call it a day.

"I figured you didn't care for it. I'll see about finding something else for you once this is taken care of." They reply numbly.

They cradle his arm in their hand, looking over the damage. They'll start with his arms, and then worry about asking to fix up his chest and neck. They doubt he'll let them anywhere near his throat though.

"Something with less flavor. I haven't eaten in a long time, never needed to, and now everything tastes insultingly overwhelming." He adds as they grab a dry rag and lean down to dip it into the water.

"Well, I won't add any seasoning, just cook it, and we'll see if that'll help..." They dab the cloth on the worst of the wounds, his wrist.

They're slow and careful in their movements, rubbing away the dryer blood around the scabbed wound, trying not to agitate it.

But when they see traces of dirt within the scabs and deeper parts of the injury...

"This might hurt a bit, just hold still, okay?" They carefully soak the rag, wring out some of the water in the injury, trying to flush out the dirt first.

Anything that doesn't get out, they cringe as they have to dig deeper with the rag to clear it. They can feel Narinder's arm shaking in their hold, and try to tune out the small hisses as they work.

"What food do you prefer? Or well, what kind did you like before you were chained up?" They try to continue the conversation to distract him.

After a moment of silence, they're not sure that he's going to answer...

"Fish. I don't mind most meat, but fish was always my first choice." He sighs, right as they pull away, finished with his wrist.

They move up his arm, following the pattern left there by the chains. Their arms flinch and jerk every so often as they do. Still, as careful as they are, some of the harder-to-clean, deeper areas start bleeding again.

"I should have guessed, you are a cat, god or not. Many cat followers prefer meat, and love it when I return from a fishing trip with enough fish for a whole feast." That was the wrong thing to say.

"Do not compare me to one of your peasant followers." They feel that correcting him and reminding him that technically he is a follower now would just be petty.

...

"Technically-"

"Don't." As if sensing it from a mile away, the former death god shuts it down, and Lamb can't help but crack a smile.

They continue to wash, now having to go back every so often to wipe away the fresh blood as well.

"I'm almost done with your lower arm, can I move closer for your upper arm?" They're already slowly shuffling forward, but pause to await his approval.

Looking up at him, they notice he's closed his eyes, his head resting back against the wall behind him. They make a mental note to get him a proper headboard.

Maybe something wooden, with a nice carving on it.

His brows are still furrowed, and even though he looks far more relaxed than earlier, there is still anger... Like it's embedded itself in his face deeper than his wounds.

"Narinder?" Their voice is a whisper, and he peeks open his left eye, humming a soft acknowledgment.

"Can I move closer?" They repeat, suddenly frozen by his gaze.

As if he was still towering over them.

"Do what you must, just hurry up already. I'm still hungry." He closes his eyes again, and the lamb quickly shuffles closer and sets back to work.

The rest of the next fifteen or so minutes is spent in silence. Lamb finishes with their left arm and moves to grab one of the jars of salve.

"What is that?" Narinder perks up, ears and eyes darting to the sound of them unscrewing the jar.

"This? Just some medicinal salve, made from camellias and some other herbs that Miki says help stop any infection and speed up the healing process." It's a smooth, transparent green salve with flecks of red.

"Will it hurt?" His ears flatten as he leans forward, sniffing the air.

The lamb breathes in the scent as well, it smells like camellias and mint. Not unpleasant, but something about the mint part gives them the distinct feeling that it will either feel cooling and nice or sting like a bitch.

"I'm not sure... Maybe? I do know that infection will hurt a lot worse so, we're using it." If they were careful before, they're holding fragile glass now as they rub the salve on Narinder's wrist.

They relax to hear the relieved sigh he lets out and feel the way he slumps in their hold.

"Doesn't hurt?" They chuckle as they look up and see him with the smallest of smiles on his face.

It is hardly noticeable if it weren't for the fact that Lamb has spent far too much time staring at that face to miss it.

"No. It's fine..." In grumpy death cat language that translates to 'it's delightful'.

Or at least that's how they choose to hear it. They use it as an encouragement to be a bit firmer, making sure to get the salve in every part of the wounds. It doesn't take half as long to apply as it did to clean, and in no time, they're wrapping the arm with a large roll of bandages.

The next arm goes just as smoothly, and both are wrapped fully by the time Lamb decides to take a break.

"Right, well, I'll go grab you some food so you can eat, and freshwater before we move onto your chest?" They hesitate, looking at Narinder expectantly, waiting for the cat to lash out again.

"Just hurry up..." He mumbles, not even opening his eyes when they stand to leave.

It's so dim in the shelter, they nearly forgot that it is still late noon, bleeding into early evening. They flinch when they step out, the water basin in their arms, and they take a moment to let their eyes adjust before walking toward the kitchen.

It's a sunny spring day, with a cool breeze that helps them finally ease the tension in their shoulders they didn't even realize was there. The flowers growing along the pathway sway in the breeze, and they take a moment to watch them. Simple wildflowers.

Yellow, red, blue, pink, white...

They remember counting them on their way to Narinders shelter hours ago before all this started. They had been so afraid when they heard him coughing and barged in to see the state he was in...

They had frozen.

For the past few years as a leader, they've done nothing but make quick decisions in times of crisis, and plan for the worse. Yet right then, they froze.

They had to stop and do what they do best at this point, and dissociate. Run to get him water, pull away when he started to run short on air, and then-

"Please..." He looks at them, eyes watering to the point of tears, and a plea so desperately leaving his throat...

They had never seen him like that before, and Lamb knew that he had to be completely out of it from the pain.

With a deep sigh, they continue away from the shelter, their hooves clicking against the cobblestone path as they walk.

"Lamb. How is he?" Miki is the first of their flock that they run into, as she's walking out of the Healing Bay, one of the closest buildings to Narinders Shelter- which they wisely placed on the opposite side of the camp, away from the other shelters.

It was near their own home, and when asked by Ratau why they placed their former master that just tried to kill them, so near... They simply said they didn't realize it.

To be honest, they aren't sure why they did it, just that they wanted him near them.

For safety purposes. To keep an eye on him. Yeah. That's why.

A small desert sand-colored fennec fox with pale green eyes stands in front of them now, head tilted in curiosity. They know for a fact that they're short-statured, with most of their flock being at least an inch or so taller than him, but Miki?

She's a few inches smaller, but she packs a punch and is one hell of a medic.

"Oh! He's better than he was, I finished with his arms, I think I wrapped them pretty well, not too tight like you showed me. I'm not sure how to go about wrapping his chest and stuff though..." They continue walking, and Miki joins them.

They pass more buildings, the lumber yard, the stone mine, and the refinery. A few followers milled about, too busy chopping logs and breaking down larger stones to notice their leader passing by.

"I see. I can come and instruct you if you think he's amendable to me being in his shelter. If not, I'm sure I can find a willing volunteer to show you how." She folds her arms behind her, keeping her gaze straight ahead as her eyes glaze over in thought.

"Finding a volunteer and giving me a tutorial will be easier, I think. He's calmed down since earlier, but introducing a stranger might send him over the edge again." They chuckle nervously, thankful that Miki doesn't mention it.

"Of course. I'll ask around, I'll meet you back at the Healing Bay when you're ready." And she's rushing off, leaving Lamb standing there blinking at her quick departure.

They chose to shrug it off for now given how helpful she's been lately. They do duly note that they should maybe start commanding a bit more respect from some of the flock that don't fully seem to comprehend them as their leader.

By the time they make it to the kitchen, they're on autopilot. Dumping the dirty water into the empty sink and filling it up with fresh, clean water from the tap. Quickly they cook a simple fish bowl with no seasoning.

It takes a moment for them to balance the basin between their arm and side, with the food in their other arm before they start walking back to the Healing Bay.

When they get to the Bay they set the bowls aside and try hard to focus on everything that Miki tells them...

Still, nagging thoughts about Narinder continue to plague their mind. They've been thinking a lot about how he feels about everything.

Empathizing. Like Noon suggested.

Being patient. Like Ratau said.

But what about them? There's a whirlwind going on in their head that they don't think even the power of the Red Crown can slow down or stop.

They're angry at him. They know they are. During the fight, a part of them wanted so badly to just end him, and erase him from existence forever. Erase him from their mind. Their heart. Everything. As if he had never even existed in the first place.

But they knew they couldn't. Even if he helped them shove a dagger into his heart, they would tear their fleece to stop the bleeding and save him.

Weakness. A horrible crippling weakness it is. This swirling longing in their chest makes them sick to their stomach, and weak in the knees.

They're angry at themselves. For worrying about him so much. For seeing his wounds and wanting to cry, and go back in time and just fucking kneel, so that he could have kept his godhood and never have to suffer like he is now.

They're angry that they still care so much. They're angry that he cared so little. They're angry that he hates them so much, but they can't seem to hate him in return.

They want to hate him. But all they feel when they look at him is worry, concern, and this terrible lump in their throat that they can't seem to choke down without crying.

They want to hit him and yell at him, and kick him out of camp into Darkwood or Anura so they never have to see him again.

They also want to hug him, apologize, and continue to treat his wounds with all the care and patience they can muster, and spend every day talking to him like they used to do every time they died.

But they can never have what they want.

"Do you think you can do it by yourself?" Miki asks, looking back at them, blissfully unaware of her leader's internal struggle.

"Yeah. I think I can handle it. Thanks, Miki for showing me- and Jovi, for being such a great patient!" They plaster on a smile, bandstand from the chair they'd been sitting in while watching the Fennec fox work.

The grey stag just smiles and gives a thumbs up as they start to unravel himself from the temporary bandages Miki had tangled him in.

They take a moment longer of standing there, looking around the clean, well-organized entrance area of the Healing Bay, multiple beds in the background with curtain dividers, and cabinets of medicine, mostly camellia-based.

Though Miki likes to use other herbs, claiming they're just as medicinally valuable. Lamb doesn't argue, because, so long as they don't make anyone worse, what's the harm in letting her have control over this aspect of the camp?

They wave goodbye to the two, grabbing the still-warm food and water and retracing their steps back to Narinder's shelter.

There aren't a lot of people who could understand the position they're in or the things they feel right now, not even Ratau. But keeping it all inside...

Patience.

Just be patient. Maybe Narinder will be more amendable to talk about everything that's happened when they finally get him some food?

With a deep sigh, they find themselves pushing back the curtains to the ex-god's home with a slightly less foggy head. Hopefully, Narinder is still tired enough to accept their help less aggressively than usual.

"Didn't I say to hurry up? What did you get sidetracked cleaning up your follower's shit while I'm in here crippled and starving?" ...

 Well, at least he's feeling better enough to be at his usual level of anger again...

"For your information, I was talking with Miki about how to wrap your chest best, because in case you haven't noticed I've never had to do this before. The Red Crown always takes care of my injuries, and Miki fixes up anyone in the flock who gets hurt." They explain, and Narinder just raises a brow as they move to set the water down and place the food in his lap.

"Am I supposed to know who the hell 'Miki' is?" He sighs and they return to their earlier spot next to him with a small laugh.

"No, I guess not. Then again, you probably won't know who anyone in the flock is, given that you haven't met them. Maybe when you're better I'll dedicate a proper sermon to introducing you!" They don't mean that, knowing full well that they'd have better luck dragging him into a river, but they can't resist the urge to tease.

And the cringe that distorts his face is very much worth it.

"I'd sooner drown myself in a lake." Damn. They were nearly spot on.

It makes them burst into laughter, leaning back as they realize just how horribly well they predicted the cat's response.

"Then I guess I'll leave introductions up to you. So, do your arms feel better enough to eat? Or do you need help with that too?" They notice him trying to lift his arms as they speak, but they are shaking still, and his face contorts in pain with every jerky, forceful movement he tries to get out of them.

In the end, he gives a defeated sigh, turning his frustrated glare to them.

"I'll take that as a yes. I just grilled the fish, with no seasoning or anything, so it should be pretty bland. Here." They lift a piece to him, far enough for him to lean forward and take it on his terms.

He does so rather aggressively, snapping forwards and snatching it out of their hand, making them jump back a bit in surprise as they growl while eating.

"Ooookay..." They chuckle, trying to ease the sudden spike of adrenaline now setting his nerves alight.

They let him eat and are relieved to see he doesn't choke this time, though he still sticks his tongue out in mock disgust.

"It's still powerful, but better than before." He comments before taking the next bit they offer.

They repeat the motion until the bowl is empty, and they set it aside, wiping their hands with one of the rags they haven't used. Thankful now that they had brought extra. Probably too many, but better safe than sorry.

"So, I'm thinking I'll have you sit on the side of the bed so I can get your back and chest, sound good? And how are your legs? Were they chained too?" They ask, moving some of the supplies off the bed, and onto the side table, which was starting to get cluttered.

They'll clean it later.

"Just my ankles." He shifts on the bed, already looking to be in a much better mood.

So they start there, with the smallest, most hesitant nod of approval from Narinder they move to the bottom of the bed. Lifting the blanket just past his ankles, they see that yes, much like his wrist there are similar embedded chain link-shaped wounds.

It takes less time to clean, rub salve, and wrap them than it did with his arms now that they've gotten the hang of it. Narinder seems to have gotten used to it too, hissing half as much with each dab of the cloth over the blunt lacerations.

"Can you-"

"No. Just help me." He snaps, clearly having his fair share of Lamb's questions for today.

So they just continue on in silence, wrapping their arm around his already-wrapped shoulders, and pulling him forward, using their other arm to move his legs over the side of the bed, toward the window.

They make mental note of how his fur sticks up wildly from where he is lying, and his stomach drops to see the sheets below him damp with splatters of blood, and the wall he had been leaning against for the last few hours looking no better. Some of the blood is already dried on the wall, but fresher drips are bleeding down.

It wasn't a lot, not enough to be worried about blood loss, but enough to let them know that the wounds have been bleeding for a while now- and looking at his back, the cans see why.

The chain marks along his shoulder blades were not just embedded but torn and layered as if from...

Struggling...

"Are you just going to stare? Or actually do something?" From his tone of voice, they know that he knows exactly what they are seeing.

Years of suffering. Struggling. Fighting against his binds.

There is water in their eyes as they follow the tangle of matted, bloody fur, much of it torn and un-growing around the worst of it... Around his waist, there is a violent mess of lacerations from the layers of chains that had been wrapped around there. Many of the deeper ones are still bleeding, some freshly opened and bloody again just from having moved him.

"Um, yeah, yeah, just give me a moment to... Assess..." Their voice shakes, and they have to turn away from the horrific sight to collect their thoughts.

They are no stranger to gore. To the gruesome tearing of flesh by a blade, or the brutal decapitation brought by a razor-sharp axe...

But chains are not sharp. They are blunt but strong. Unyielding. How tight must they have been to dig into flesh as easily as a dagger stabs into fruit? How hard does one have to pull against them for them to slice through skin and muscle like a knife through butter?

Looking back at the injuries now, it still renders them speechless.

How many bones did he break in his thrashing and pulling against them? How many days did he spend exhausted from the fight, his body healing itself over and over again each time? He's not a god anymore though, and simply laying here waiting for these injures to stitch themselves back together isn't going to work anymore.

"These... A lot of these are going to need stitches, Narinder, and I can't do that on my own... I can clean them, but I'm going to need to bring Miki in here to do the rest..." They try to be gentle about it, as they shake themselves out of their stunned silence.

"Stitches are going to hurt, aren't they?" He growls, but there is no real resistance in it, just a frustrated acceptance of the idea.

"Like a bitch, yeah. But it's probably the only way half of these will heal properly..." They force themselves back into motion, grabbing a fresh rag and repeating the actions that they've memorized at this point.

Clean the wounds, rub the salve, and wrap them. It's a little harder when they have to move around the bed and face Narinder directly though.

They're close. Way too close. 

They can feel him staring at their every move as they kneel in front of him, wiping along his stomach, which is just as bad as his back. They're more sparse on his chest, but just as deep, crisscrossing along his fur.

Looking up at him now, they can't help but have flashbacks to standing feet below him, gazing up at his sharp-toothed grin as it shines maliciously even through the darkness of his veil.

Hearing his thunderous chuckle as they tell him of their crusades, feel his breath as he leans down to speak to them at eye level...

Meeting his gaze now, there is no fondness, looking down at them like a favored pet...

Just... Well, contemplation. As if he's debating something to say. They wait, pausing their movements, and he grabs their hand. They flinch at the sudden contact and take a sharp intake of breath.

He's still shaking, they note, and his grip is weak. They could easily pull away if they wanted to.

Do they want to?

"I... It's different. Not being as tall. You don't fit in my hand anymore." He speaks softly, his brows furrowed.

Even as he says it, confusion clouds his eyes, as if wondering what the hell he was even thinking, saying such a thought out loud. They don't know how to respond to that.

But they understand what he means. They liked when the first response to them dying and arriving before Narinder, was for him to lower his and for them to hop into it. To raise them to his eye level.

They always liked being at eye level with the giant god, and Narinder at the time seemed to prefer it too. They remember once having been drawn so close to him that they made the bold move of ducking underneath his veil and seeing those blood-red eyes directly.

Any sane mortal would be terrified of the black-slitted pupils looking down at them like a predator debating how to massacre its prey. But them? They were enchanted by the genuine surprise in them. The way he chuckled and purred at their actions, a rumble of rolling thunder in the white void of the in-between sounded like music to their ears.

"Yeah... I didn't mind it, being at eye level with you made me feel... Equal. Instead of just some-" Pawn.

They choke on the sentence as they realize where it is going. This feels like an opening to talk more about the elephant that's made itself comfortable in the room for the last several hours.

Narinder's ears flatten as they seem to put together the missing word in his own mind, turning their head away in anger maybe, shame? They don't know.

They bit their lip, mulling over their next words carefully.

So, about the whole usurping thing? - Haha, oops, didn't want it to go like that, but also, it was kind of your fault? - Nope.

I know things are tense right now, but I still have deeply conflicting emotions toward you that might be mildly romantic, which isn't relevant, but hey! While we're on the topic, did you care about me at all? - Absolutely not.

How do they just... Start a fucking conversation like this?

"Narinder, I... We should talk but I don't know... I don't know where to start." They sound so ridiculous they have to laugh.

To ease their nerves, to try and bid time, and because something about this whole situation is downright hilarious. Why are they so nervous around him? Like he still has the power to crush them with his thumb alone...

They beat him. They won that fight and claimed the Red Crown for themselves. Yet here they are, still kneeling before him, their eyes begging for him to respond. To offer them some sort of clarity...

"What is there to talk about, Lamb? How you turned heretic and betrayed me? Or how about how in the end you couldn't at least finish the job? Yes, let's talk about that. That's what I'm most curious about. Why did you spare me, Lamb? Why keep me alive? Just to suffer this pathetic mortal body, and the humiliation of needing to rely on you of all people!" He bursts, turning back to them, teeth bared and a fresh growl leaving his throat.

They flinch and lean back to offer Narinder immediate space to cool down.

"No! No, I didn't- I didn't even know that this would happen to you when you became mortal! I just- I didn't want you to die! I didn't want to kill you!" They try to find the words.

Stumbling haplessly through their thoughts trying to find something they can tell him that will make him see that they're sincere.

"Why not!? You've had no problem striking down all others who stood against you!" He leans forward, chasing after them as they lean away, trying to escape the very conversation they sparked.

They know the answer to that, they know it and they would rather lie and declare that the only reason they spared him was to mock him. Hold their victory over his head for centuries, force him to be a mere follower, and worship the ground they walked on.

But how? Looking into his furious, and confused glare, red eyes burning into them like hot coals, what option is there but the truth? They have no doubt that he'll be able to see past all else.

"Because I..." They can't turn away from him. They want to, to look away, but it's like he's got them pinned, and it's then that they realize that he's...

He's still holding their hand. Close to his chest, the rag having dropped to the floor, and despite the anger still radiating off of him, he is gentle. His grip is soft, cradling their fingers, and the logical part of their brain reminds them that it's just because he's weak, and in pain.

But their heart is screaming so loud in their chest that they think they're going to go deaf. And their stomach has started swirling so violently that they think they're going to be sick.

"Because I care..." And the words fall from their lips in a whispered plea, begging him to just... Know what they mean.

About you. I care about you, so fucking much and I don't want to. I want to hate you, I want to hate you for who you are and what you did, why can't I hate you? You tried to kill me, all for power. You were as hateful, and power-hungry as your siblings, and you tricked me, and I fell for it, like a love-struck idiot I fell for it because I thought you cared too, and you didn't.

You didn't care at all.

"And I wanted you to care so much, but you didn't." They stand, there are tears in their eyes and they realize, that as much as they were pushing to have this conversation with him...

Maybe they are the one that isn't ready for it.

But Narinder still has their hand, and looking at him, he looks like he's been slapped across the face. His grip on their hand tightens for the slightest moment, and it feels like he's squeezing their heart, and it hurts.

It hurts so damn bad.

And then he let's go.

"I-... How, Lamb?... How am I supposed to respond to that? How do you want me to respond to emotions I didn't know were there?" He's asking.

Looking up at them in a pure mix of confusion and what was formerly anger, now overridden by doubt... He looks so different. Nothing like the God of Death that they have come to know...

Lamb prides themselves on being able to read others, and Narinder is an open book if they've ever seen one. They could look in his mind. Read his thoughts.

But no. They know what they'll see. They know that it will just drive the knife even deeper.

"I don't know, Narinder. I don't know." 

~~~

Sooo, I posted late on Ao3, so I'm posting early here to make up for it. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this angsty chapter, and I have a little question...

How slow-burn should I make this? I'm not great at super long slow-burns, and honestly, I didn't really plan to make this one. Still, there are a lot of complicated emotions between Narinder and Lamb, so... It might take a while for them to be on better terms, but I'm just worried about going too fast and making it less realistic or too cliche. I'm also super impatient though, and I want romance, fluff, and happy bullcrap because it's been a tough week, and writing all this angst is gonna push me over the edge homies. Listening to ppcocaine can only do so much to prevent me from crying, my guys.

What do any of you think? Should I speed it up more in this next chapter or continue with my current game plan of at least two, three, or maybe four more chapters before forgiveness and touchy-feely stuff?

[flokali]

Bestie...

I'm trying to remain calm but

Holy-

˓˓ ⍥⃝⃝ ˒˒

I want to scream on how good you portray Zhongli like, he's not totally like grovelling off the bat. He's still got that Archon side to him. He knows that we have a little part of us that still loves him despite his actions. And the little grovelling session as we're getting f-cked silly, BESTIE I'M ROLLING AROUND IN MY BED BECAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. And how delusional he is- mwah, chefs motherefffin kiss. It's the perfect balance of him still being in control despite us being the creator while he's a follower that's asking for forgiveness. Wait bestie, I'm gonna reread it again. I need to. It's delectable. Sorry for the word vomit but I NEED to say how much I love it.

Ahhh;; bestie, nonnie, my beloved ! I’m so happy you liked it !! I really like when my men are delusional enough they worship you like a deity but have a thread of awareness that reminds them they still have the ability to flip the script and force you to worship them >_>

I wanted Zhongli to be… aware (?) of his role as both a God and a believer. Like, on one hand for all his life he’s seen himself as your servant, as a follower, a sheep that follows its shepherd, a vessel for your wishes and orders, while I believe that during his early “100% Rex Lapis Edgy War God” phase he probably was really dismissive of you and your role, as he grows older he becomes one of the more fanatical, self-righteous followers who believes he knows you and your will the best - he’s older than most, he’s spent centuries being in your servitude. On the other hand, Zhongli definitely notices you’re not nearly as powerful as him, you have no Vision and your “divine powers” are not… powering. Before he realizes you are in deed the being he worshiped, he thought it was almost comical how powerless, how utterly weak you were, you had no idea where you were or how to survive - it was sheer luck and determination that kept you alive. So when he finally, after weeks of searching for you and requesting a meeting, one where an agreement between you two can be settled, he’s overly aware of the power he holds - in theory you have the upper hand, he is your servant, he’d declared himself yours and made an oath to you, but in reality, if Zhongli wanted and truly gave it his all to he could probably have taken you hostage the minute you stepped into his domain.

He really is being this “nice” because he genuinely believes this is the right way to do it, he really thinks this is the way to ask you for forgiveness; you’re weak, upset, and clearly not in the right state of mind, so he’ll just… take it into his own hands! He sees you as his god, but you’re also… weak, you need him, you need his help and power if you wanted to truly survive and thrive the way you deserve to.

I ramble a little bit about world-building UTC;; huhuhu

In my interpretation of the self-aware cult/organized religion that centers you/the player as a deity, especially in Genshin, you’d have very, very limited powers if at all. I think it’d be very interesting to have a God figure who is just… not all that. You are undoubtedly the person who’s been “helping” them, you are very much the god they have been praying to, but you’re also just… human. Here on earth we don’t have Visions, we don’t have the 7 Archons, there’s no Celestia, you were only capable of your “miracles” because it was a game, because you were meant to be able to do that. With that in mind, I feel like the Archons and some more observant acolytes might be able to figure out you’re pretty much defenseless, you have no power here. I believe most, if not all, of them will eventually realize, it just so happens that in this fic - you’re in Liyue and Zhongli gets his hands on your first.

If I had to make a list of characters who might act similarly to him in the fic… it might be like: Al Haitham (he probably sees you as dumber than him and weaker), Wanderer (in his eyes you’re too naive and weak), Dottore (without the groveling, he’s meaner and more condescending but he still… respects you to some (very minimal) degree), Ningguang (she’s softer and more manipulative, she thinks of you as a pretty, weak, and delicate thing - like… a rare ornament), Ei (she gets really emotional and becomes increasingly paranoid the more she realizes how much weaker you are compared to the average Teyvat Vision user, she sees you as weak but she genuinely thinks she’s helping you), and Yae (she probably behaves like a mix between Ei and Zhongli, she feels like a more lowkey follower but she worries greatly for you and genuinely wants to protect you and sees this as her only way).

[nygmobblepot-trash]

Oh so they're just going to pretend like last episode didn't happen and go straight to finding Sylvie.

Cool.

(Rant)

Mobius and Loki almost died and we aren't going to get even a scene showing the aftermath??? Wasn't Mobius hit by the temporal aura (whatever it's called)? Didn't Mobius ask what took so long? Didn't Loki explain why he said they needed to find Sylvie after time slipping? No one said anything? Or am I supposed to believe Mobius wouldn't lose his absolute shit when he found out he almost died because Loki was too busy making googly eyes at Sylvie.

Ok. Ok. Maybe to be fair they really said nothing. In E1 Loki told Mobius very little what happened at the end of time. In E2 we see Mobius burying his feelings hard--even worse than Loki. But at least show that. Mobius in E2 seemed completely different. I get he's probably putting on an act because he really doesn't want to think about his life but come on.

Actually you know what? I think he was putting on an act for the whole episode. Call me delusional but I don't care. In the beginning, Mobius seems really happy to be looking for Sylvie. I think that was true but for other reasons. It's clear Mobius doesn't want anything to change. He doesn't want to think of a life he could've had so he needs to keep being an analyst. Before shit hit the fan that was searching for Sylvie. The whole thing is a game for him. It's why Loki was so serious and Mobius didn't really seem to care. He rather have a drink with Brad and play games. Normally Mobius wouldn't be so easily fooled but he was while Loki was the one paying attention. He's obviously going through the motions. He's happy again when he and Loki are trying to figure out the TemPad. Of course, it doesn't last long as the interrogation follows.

Let's talk about the interrogation. God I want to talk about it so bad because what the fuck. So Mobius warns Loki that Brad is an asshole (Mobius keeps swearing and I'm so here for it) and to not lose his temper. So I immediately think okay Loki is going to go off on this dude because why not? He'll do anything for Sylvie. The gang walks in and Mobius did not lie at all. Brad goes off on everyone. He's laying into Loki the most of course while Mobius keeps trying to keep Loki calm. Brad's speech also mimics several conversations Loki and Mobius had in S1. Brad basically says what Mobius said to Loki in S1. He drills that Loki is a villain and only brings suffering and pain but instead of twisting it around like Mobius did it changes into something that Loki yelled at Mobius towards the end of S1. Brad doesn't twist it into something hopeful or give Loki a choice no he tells Loki that at the end of the day he's lying to himself, that he can't play the hero. Yes that isn't exactly what Loki said to Mobius but it's eerily similar to the "lies you tell yourself" in S1. I understand if that made no sense but I'm just saying that it's super interesting to see the difference between Mobius and Brad.

Anyways so Loki starts to spiral and it seems like he's going to say fuck it. They even cut to Mobius's concerned face. I do love though that no matter what happened Mobius let Loki take the lead. Yes, he kept butting in but it seemed like he was reminding Loki that it was okay. It was like his way of proving Brad wrong. He was trying to tell Loki he trusted him and that he was with him.

I will say that Brad said the one thing I'm sure everyone in that room was thinking, "You're too obsessed with her. You need therapy." Honestly Brad you were so real for that. But he wasn't done yet. This man then had the audacity to tell Mobius to control his pet. And Mobius smiles and tells a fucking joke about Brad disappearing?? And Loki smiles at it?? I'm sorry but what is going on? Mobius I love you. I was so disappointed that they didn't let Mobius lead the interrogation because he would've rocked it. But Loki failed so Mobius said fuck it and did not disappoint. He literally got one line in and it was telling Brad he's going to disappear with a smile on his face. Mobius is ruthless.

This is where we circle back to the point I was making before... several paragraphs ago... I'm sorry. Brad goes off on Mobius and Mobius takes it for a little bit. You can tell what Brad is saying is getting to him. He's making points that even Loki is reacting too. Points that Loki should've talked to Mobius about already. It seemed like Loki was just then realizing that Mobius hadn't brought up his life at all. That Mobius had been acting like nothing was happening. Which was interesting to see. Finally, Loki seems to pay attention to Mobius for 5 seconds. Of course that's interrupted by Mobius slapping the hell out of Brad. Thus making it clear Mobius has been freaking out for a while but hiding it. They were both probably having a panic attack at the same time. The whole time Loki was running around in a panic Mobius put his fears aside and focused on Loki. It's incredibly sad. Did he feel he couldn't confide in Loki? It really hurts that this poor man had his world turn upside down and not once did Loki bother to ask him about it. Loki had to think it was odd that Mobius just stopped trying to burn down the TVA. Mobius deserves better.

I am happy that Loki stopped worrying about Sylvie for 2 seconds to chase after Mobius who clearly wasn't okay in the slightest. "He got under your skin" and "I was following you" Sir? Do you even know where you're at? Loki's dumbass doesn't know what to do either and takes Mobius to get some pie. As if that's going to fix anything. Mobius admits he lost it a little bit and Loki tries to relate and uses the battle of New York as an example of a time he lost it. ??? I'm sorry? Honey, Mobius punching someone isn't the same as you trying to conquer a city. You suck at this. Thankfully Loki cares enough to dig into why Mobius has no desire to at the very least see what his life could be like. Honestly, though Mobius's answer makes sense. Of course, he doesn't want to know. He's all about free will and deciding your own path. Why would he care what path he was on? It's a path he was supposed to be on but now he isn't. He got to escape the sacred timeline, he has always seen that as a blessing which is why he fought so hard to rescue Loki. The thing that annoys me though is Loki moves on so fast. I get he probably respects Mobius's decision. After all, if he saw a happy life that was taken from him that would suck. But why not ask what Mobius really wants to do? No one would blame Mobius if he got up and left. He now has the free will to do whatever he wants and yet he stays at the TVA. It would have been interesting for Loki to point out that Brad was kind of right. That it isn't healthy to pretend like nothing happened. I could see Mobius getting angry and pointing out that technically Loki is hiding from his reality as well. But of course, we can't spend too much time developing Mobius or his relationship with Loki, we have to get back to Sylvie.

Interrogation 2 happens and they finally get the info they wanted. The whole time I was thinking "damn this really seems like a Mobius plan," only to be proven right. Of course, Mobius immediately jumps to torturing Brad and calls it a "little bit of mischief". Again I have to ask, sir are you okay? Mobius is fucking terrifying.

I think the answer is no. When they take Brad to McDonald's Mobius is acting strange again. He's snapped back into acting like everything is okay. He ignores Sylvie and Loki talking and is being nice to Brad -- the man he punched within the last 10 minutes). Mobius is petty and as we now know hides his feelings until he explodes. He is clearly trying to distract himself with the food. Brad starts to freak out and Mobius tries to dismiss it but can't by saying that the relationship (between Loki and Sylvie) is complicated. But his petty ass can't stop there and adds that opposites attract in the same breath as him saying that Loki is in a relationship with themself. Mobius is really out there saying that opposites attract and Loki and Sylvie aren't opposites. Brad then says it's weird and I'm waiting for Mobius to agree but this man goes, "hey isn't it cool that 10 minutes ago you said I was nothing and then I punched you and got a God to torture you?" Mobius are you good? For the love of jetskis stop deflecting. You can't just torture Brad again because you're too much of a coward to talk to Loki. I will say good on Mobius for figuring out it was a trap. The slap on Brad's arm and the angry "Hey!" Will live in my mind for far too long. Like I said Mobius is scary as hell.

Lastly, I want to talk about the end (yes I'm almost done with my rant -- yay!). I hate that Sylvie continues to be pissed at Loki and the whole TVA. Loki and the others are trying their best. She didn't give them a chance. She just made a decision for everyone else and got pissy when they couldn't fix her mess. Honestly fuck right off. That's all I want to say about her. Anyways the thing that broke my heart was Loki saying, "Please, don't. It's harder to stay." I'm sorry but what the fuck does that even mean? Maybe I'm interpreting this wrong but does he mean that if she isn't around it's hard for him to stay at the TVA? If I'm right, then what the actual hell? Your friend Mobius is hanging on by a thread and you want to abandon him? You're all he has. He isn't close with hunter B15, OB, and Casey like he is with you. Mobius never once abandoned Loki. And yea I get that he does go over to Mobius and puts his hand on his shoulder but he only does it after getting rejected yet again by Sylvie. Hell Mobius probably just heard that Loki doesn't want to stick around. Are you seriously telling me that Loki is just using the TVA and Mobius to find Sylvie? At least last episode he wanted to go find her and fix the mess that she made.

Please stop chasing after someone who doesn't care about you in the slightest.

[burningblake]

Hi :) I'm new to the chenford fanfic game and I loove yours. I was wondering if you ever wrote one about 4x01 after the hug? If wesley hadn't called tim, I bet lucy would have crawled into tim's bed (maybe I'm delusional but it would have made such a good story 🔥)

Hii and welcome, I'm so happy that you like my fics, thank you so much! (Sorry that it took me some time to reply, but I wanted to include the fic in the answer.) This prompt intrigued me a lot tbh so thanks a lot for sending it to me! I, too, believe something spicy would have happened that night if they didn't get interrupted and here's my version of it ^^

#

She didn't expect him to actually hug her when she asked him to. He's usually so guarded, so by the book, that it would be natural for him to simply offer her a polite rejection. 

But Tim said "Come here" and now his arms are wrapped firmly around her and he's stroking her hair and her nose is dipped in the clean fragrance of his chest and all she can think of is taking it a step further. 

Normally she'd reject any thoughts of the kind—Tim's mouth on hers, his breath driven out of control because of her—but the pain and loss she feels right now are like a whirlpool pulling her into a deep abyss and she's scared to find out what's in the bottom. So as soon as the distraction appears, she latches onto it with tooth and claw. 

She lets her mind flood with images of him kissing her, of their naked bodies tangled in his sheets, of her chanting his name as he makes love to her. She knows he'll be gentle with her, respectful, loving even. More than anything, she's curious to find out how it sounds to give him pleasure. She's imagined all that in the few seconds their embrace lasts. All she needs is to make the first step, plant the idea. After all didn't he compliment her at the wedding? Checked her out and asked her to save him a dance? He must find her a little desirable at least.

With that confidence instilled in her, she slowly raises her head and rests her gaze firmly on his lips. Tim looks at her and then at her mouth and for a fraction of a second, she's almost certain he'll kiss her. Her pulse quickens, her breathing stops. 

But he looks away, tells her "Goodnight" and retreats to his bedroom.

Reality comes crashing on her like a bucket of cold water. What was she thinking? What did she really expect to happen? He's her boss. 

And yet, and yet. The sting of his rejection is a much more manageable pain than the chaos she's trying to escape from. And so her embarrassment lasts only for a few moments. 

By the time her head falls on the pillow, her thoughts are again preoccupied with fantasies of him. It's not long before she starts feeling restless and hot all over. 

And what if she regrets it? Regret sounds like a healthier feeling than whatever that hole in her chest is. 

She woke up this morning with Jackson in her life. And now he isn't in it anymore. It feels unrealistic. Wrong. Like he's simply going to be home in their apartment when she returns. She doesn't want to think what will happen when she doesn't find him there. 

Perhaps if she has her thoughts flooded with something as overwhelming as having sex with her boss, it will be easier to face that reality.

But then she can't ignore the fact that part of her is also glad for the excuse, as morbid as that may be. She's relieved that she has the opportunity to experience Tim erotically and then be able to blame it on a moment of weakness if things turn out awkward. God, she's such an awful person. 

But right now, she doesn't care. 

She tosses the covers aside and gets on her feet, letting the boldness inside her take full control. She walks barefoot towards his bedroom door and raises her hand to knock. At the last second, she regrets it, goes for the handle instead. Softly, she turns it down. 

She realizes this might be all in vain if he's asleep. But when she steps inside the bedroom, Tim's eyes meet hers in astonishment.

"Lucy?" 

He's on his feet at once, his gaze filled with concern. He walks towards her, but stops at a normal distance between them. 

"Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?" 

For a moment, as she studies his intense expression and works up the courage to name her request, she considers lying to him. A nightmare is exactly the kind of thing that would justify her mindless behavior. But she's not that far gone as to use such a cheap excuse. 

"No, I'm fine," she says, her clear voice cutting the charged atmosphere in the room. 

Tim looks at her with slight confusion, the question evident in the air. What is she doing in his room? 

Instead of an answer, she simply steps closer to him, so that they're again at the same position that they were in his living room, seconds after they hugged. 

His eyes widen in surprise. Still, he doesn't step back. 

"What are you doing?" he asks with warning. 

"Continuing from where we stopped before?" she says. It's not exactly a question, but her voice raises up a little at the end as though it is. 

His surprise turns into shock. His gaze switches frantically between her mouth and eyes. 

"Lucy..." he starts, his voice clearly affected. "You know that this is wrong in many ways and you're going to regret it afterwards. Grief isn't helping you think clearly right now." 

She knows, she knows she'll be better off if she accepts this soft, rational rejection now, instead of pushing it further. But it's like she's stepped into deep water and she can't seem to find her footing. 

"Are you going to regret it?" 

Tim shakes his head. "That's not the point. Lucy, you know me better than to think I'd take advantage of you this way."

"You're not taking advantage of me. I'm a consenting adult. I came to your bedroom." She realizes she's started sounding like a lunatic. 

His hands are suddenly on her shoulders, his head lowered to level her gaze. "This is not happening tonight, alright? Please try to get some sleep." 

She pauses, looks into his eyes, tries to find more fight inside of her. But the rejection is dampening her courage. She exhales in surrender and finally nods. A moment of silence passes and then she spins out of his hold, a little more forcibly than she intended to, and walks out of his bedroom, shutting the door in her wake. 

She had it all wrong. Rejection is what finally pushes the tears that have been gathering behind her eyes, waiting for her permission to spill. She cries silently for a while. Finally, exhausted, she falls asleep. 

Ironically, she has a nightmare.

In her dream, she's back at her apartment and Jackson greets her with a goofy smile, tells her, "I saw you dancing with Tim at the wedding." 

She nudges him and laughs. "Stop, it was just a dance."

Jackson gives her a meaningful gaze that says she can't fool him. 

Lucy pokes at him and they both start laughing together. 

"I missed you at the wedding," she tells him then. "Where did you disappear?" 

"Well, I went to see Angela. I wanted to give her something." 

Angela? 

The scene abruptly changes. It's not Jackson sitting in front of her. But her mom. Her mom telling her what a disappointment she is. Lucy can't sit and listen to her. She gets up, starts searching for her roommate, because if there's anyone who can put her mom in her place, it's him. But Jackson is nowhere and her mom keeps yelling in her head. 

Until it's not her mom at all who's yelling anymore. It's Lucy. Waking up screaming from her sleep.

"Lucy! Lucy!"

Tim's voice comes from right above her. She feels his touch on her shoulder, her cheek.

"It's alright, it was just a dream," he reassures her.

She meets his gaze in a frozen state. Slowly, reality sinks in and the tears come back. Tim sighs and in the most gentle gesture ever, pulls her onto his chest. Her tears stain the soft cotton of his top. 

They stay like that for a while. She can't help but remember another place, another time, a similar gesture. The safety of his embrace after she'd been buried alive into a desert. Somehow his arms have always meant safety for her. She realizes her hands have started shaking. 

She pulls away from him in order to meet his gaze. 

She doesn't say anything, but she can't help the pleading look that forms in her eyes. Tim's gaze turns incredulous. She expects that—the shock and rejection. What she doesn't expect is the conflict that follows  it. The clear signs that he's also struggling with desire. His expression becomes almost pained before something goes loose inside him. As though he gives up and gives in at once. 

His hand slides from her cheek to her hair where he latches on to pull her close. His lips land on hers with a soft moan of surrender. 

At first she's too stunned to react. His mouth is warm, gentle. She'd always expected him to taste like coffee. But as she closes her lips around his bottom lip, Tim tastes like warmth, like the sun-kissed aura of a summer morning. She lets out a shaky breath and brings her hands onto his cheeks, opening her mouth just as he dives in for a deeper connection. 

She grabs onto his shoulders to lift herself into a sitting position. Tim's hand slides from her shoulder to her waist, the other one still buried into her scalp. 

She can hear his breath accelerate and it makes her feel dizzy with power. She's never seen him this out of control. Tim kisses her again and again until she gasps for breath and then still he moves on to kissing her neck. 

Slowly he moves from the floor to the couch on top of her, adjusting his weight carefully so as not to crush her. He has to lift her leg off in the process and his hand lingers on her thigh, caressing her up and down, as his tongue dips into her mouth to entangle with hers. In a moment of impulse, Lucy wraps her legs around him, gratified by the groan the movement evokes from him. Tim buries his face underneath her chin, where he starts leaving a trail of wet kisses. 

She finds the hem of his top and pulls it upwards. He lets her take it off of him. Then he gets on his feet, gathers her up in his arms and leads her to his bedroom. 

She doesn't know how much of it she's going to regret later. Right now, all she knows is that it's never felt this good.

(masterlist)

[sweetshelluvaau]

I really want to you know get invested on stolitz but the problem is is just how the couple is presented. I may love toxic couples but I really don't like how the show didn't acknowledge it,like I see stols as this person who need sto get his shit together literally and spends really good quality time with Octavia(like I want to believe he is trying but we didn't see that freaking effort and that's coming from an ex shipper of stolitz) and blitzo,look I feel sad about the man and I do because of how literally he have seem to care but I shut,I pity the man. No offense to fans who made stolitz that is fleshed out,mad respect for them seriously.

Hey, you want to know secret: I was slowly getting on board the Stolitz train post Ozzie's. Not necessary in a 'I want these two together forever and live happily ever after' kind of of way but I was starting to get invested in seeing them both grow as people. I still wouldn't want them as end game and putting aside the icky stuff for a second, they're two different people with two different wants for a relationship plus BOTH really need to get their shit together before even entering any kind of relationship honestly.

(I was also indifferent about Stolas at this time as well. Didn't hate him but didn't really care for him neither. Just thought he was another asshole in a sea of assholes but rich).

Blitzo put his foot down and Stolas finally coming to the crushing realization that his actions hurt his family (regardless if he loved Stella or not, he still cheated and the whole mess harmed Octavia emotionally) and even realizing that Blitzo gave him some comfort, 'escape from the gilded cage' you can say, but that comfort was at the cost of the other person's happiness (plus ya know, you did force the guy the sleep with you Hooters).

There was real room for even as fucked up as their relationship was, them learning a thing or two from each other, more so Stolas. He learns some humility, ending the deal and just letting IMP use the book no strings attached until the times he does need it until they find another way to access Earth without it, or just have Stolas give Blitzo that crystal things or something like it at the very start of the season, genuinely apologize and be on his way. Perhaps his treatment of Blitzo and IMP has him reevaluating how he's treated those underneath him in the past. Boom! And being we have that assassination plot thing with Stella and Striker going on still and depending on how the whole thing is handled (NOT HOW IT'S HANDLED IN THE SHOW NOW GOD PLEASE NO), you aren't completely writing Stolas out of the show. There are ways to still have him play part of the story without taking away from IMP and the premises.

Honestly, I thought the 'Stolas wakes up from his delusional fantasy and owns up to his actions' was the direction the story was going but I gave Viv too much credit as season two dropped and we know where this tale goes...

But yeah the problem in itself isn't that it's toxic I happen to like toxic ships myself, the problem is the show acts like it isn't. It's a weird show don't tell Uno Reversal where we're being gaslighted to believe that Stolas is this great guy that Blitzo just hates because he's blue blood but his actions and treatment of people show differently and that he's a whiny, entitled privileged dick. The 'this is hell' excuse doesn't hold water when you refuse to acknowledge your characters are horrible or keep telling us they aren't when they are.

A roleplay partner of mine told me they viewed Stolitz as Fizzmodeus' darker mirror which I think is an interesting way of viewing it. I've seen plenty of writers in the rpc write great interpretations and their own takes of these characters that I honestly wish those portrayals were what we ended up getting suppose to the wattpad fanfic bullshit we did get. (it likely also helps that surprisingly half of the Hellaverse RPC on tumblr is just as salty as I am)

Also Viv, if you really wanted A Main Gay Couple in the show who ends up with Blitzo, I know I keep saying it but *will smith poses at Fizz and her one true polycule* STOP BEING A COWARD VIV LET FIZZ HAVE TWO LOVING BOYFIRENDS IT AIN'T CHEATING I PROMISE!!!

I hope I'm making sense here I feel like this turned into a ramble more than anything else XDD

[yanderes-galore]

Can I please request the yandere alphabet for Claudia Wolf from Silent Hill 3? Romantic or romantic/platonic are both fine! - 🍂

I read this wrong, I didn't see you said Alphabet instead of Concept 😅 This is actually easier, sure! Hope I got her character right! I struggled a bit but I hope I got her yandere type across.

Alphabet Here

Yandere Alphabet - Claudia Wolf

(Silent Hill 3)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Worship yandere, Manipulation, Apathy towards the lives of others, Stalking, Religious themes/Cults, Forced relationship, Murder, Violence, Kidnapping, Trauma, Brainwashing mention, Stalking mention.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Claudia is a delusional religious fanatic part of The Order. She'd be obsessive about her darling and delusional about them. She'll believe you want specific things when you don't.

I imagine at times Claudia can be very intense. Maybe she worships you at times and tries to "prioritize your happiness". In reality she does things that she thinks will make you happy.

She's been through trauma herself and doesn't want her darling to suffer the same neglect. This makes her obsessive about making you live a good life... when she may just be giving you the opposite.

Her love language would be words more than physical affection, often preaching about how she adores you.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Claudia wouldn't be too messy. She'll get rid of those who threaten the "Birth of God" and your happiness. In canon this is shown when she kills Harry and Vincent.

To her... some murder is necessary for happiness.

Especially yours.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

She'd treat you like you're glass. She wants you happy and free of pain, after all.

She wouldn't mock you.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Indoctrination into The Order, murder of those close to you, really anything to satiate her delusional mind.

For the most part she tries to "listen" to her dearest.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

A lot. Claudia thinks you're a blessed gift to her. Someone to make her happy while she tries to "resurrect God" and heal her from the loss of Alessa.

You are important to her... she'd never let you go since you must be a gift.

Even if letting you go would truly make you happy.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Frustrated. She's trying to make you happy! Why do you reject her love?

She can't be doing something wrong... can she?

No matter... she'll just try harder... all for the happiness of her dearest.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No. Why would this be a game? She's trying to shield you from the pain of this world.

Why do you want to go back to it?

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Right before she kidnaps them.

Your loved ones are removed as she thinks they will corrupt and harm you. She thinks they'll hurt you and you'll be safer in her care.

Which is when she takes you in... you still completely traumatized by what she's done.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

The future she plans for you may not even involve her. She knows that when God arrives and ushers in an age of happiness she may not be involved/doesn't deserve it. Even if she isn't... any future she has in mind for you is to see you happy.

A strangely nice goal... for such a broken woman.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

No, not really. She doesn't like others around you but it's not necessarily out of jealousy.

She may yell at others but other than that may try to cope?

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

She's a worship yandere. She praises you and yearns for you to pay attention to her. She'll hold you and whisper how you make life better.

She rants on and on about how she'll make you happy. She tells you about hed religion, God's potential resurrection, and how you're happier with her.

She's a ranting mess who is incredibly delusional. You're the best gift to her. She plans to repay the favor.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

She stalks you and plans things out around you. Soon she knows she'll have you in the end. She just needs to make everything perfect.

She's careful when approaching you. She may try to make you join her cause willingly. If not... well...

She has other plans.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not really, everyone sees her as insane.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Isolation and brainwashing. She doesn't wish to hurt you... but you must see things her way.

It's for your own good as they say.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

A lot of them but she'll try to let you be a little independent at least.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Patient. Like... eerily patient.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

That's... hard to tell. She'd be devastated but, if you died, would probably assume you also got reincarnated like Alessa.

Which leads to her hunting some poor soul down to find you... something that will never happen.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No, she feels when she abducts you it's for the best.

She most likely won't let you go unless you somehow convince her broken mind.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

The childhood trauma she has due to her father and The Order. If you've played/watched Silent Hill 3 you'll know what I mean.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

She hates it. As a result she gives it her all to comfort you. You may try to hide yourself but she promises she'll keep you happy and healthy.

And when God lives again?

You won't have to worry about the pain anymore.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

She's delusional but knows what she's doing is wrong.

She doesn't care if it is wrong.

She wants happiness... for her, you, and the world.

Sometimes you have to do harm to make good in her eyes.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Trying to convince her that she or you will be happy if she gives you more freedom. It will take a long time but maybe she'll listen?

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

She's so delusional that if she was hurting you she'll either not notice or claim it's necessary for your happiness.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

She worships you. She's definitely a delusional worship yandere. She'd go to great lengths to take care of you and win you over.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Before she kidnaps you? A long time. If she feels she has to isolate you to preserve your happiness she'll put together a plan to save you.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Probably, yes. She's delusional and she may wear you down mentally.

[slimeclimbtime]

fractals and dominos' fan-selected soundtrack!

a long time ago you guys wanted me to drop the inspiration video game soundtracks that i associated with each district in fractals and dominos (like as if it were a video game), so here is the list and explanations as to why! heavy spoilers for the fic, so be warned!

DISTRICT ONE - NARDIS - OLYMPIA (CYTUS 2)

many of the OSTs are from Cytus 2 (specifically the Conner collection) and the elegance of this song, as well as the strong melody it has has a bit of a somber tone to it, kinda reflecting the struggles doha and mingyu are going through when possessed. it ends quietly too, like as if it were a quiet defeat when they got taken by mnet. overall a really strong start to the story!

DISTRICT TWO - LAUR - L 'ULTIMA CENA (CYTUS 2)

this fast-paced hard dance beat, quickly kicked off after the calm piano at the start, kinda reflects the double-sided-ness of daeul and junseo's abilities as well as their attempts to stick together that ended up getting them targeted by mnet in the first place. there are a couple moments of calm, indicating their struggle to break free, and a ticking watch, further pressing that the longer they're possessed, the worse they get. it shares that somberness of district one

DISTRICT THREE - SAKUZYO - IMPRINTING (CYTUS 2)

like district 2, it has a fast-paced hard dance beat as well, as well as a strong piano and violin line that gets quickly overtaken by the other electronic instruments in the background. considering seowon and woongki's attempts to stay in a delusional happiness, that overwhelming drown-out gets reflected here really well. also the title imprinting is really nice, a mark on how radically different their district is from the first two, as well as the way they try to rope zoom team into staying forever

DISTRICT FOUR - VILA - ABDUCTION (CYTUS 2)

with district 4 being the first district not in the city environment and down a member (hence the title of the ost), it's a great change to how dire the circumstances are and how dangerous things really are setting in. the menacing tone helps to add onto how strong and deadly jay is, and how desperate zoom team is to get ollie back.

DISTRICT FIVE - TEAM GRIMOIRE - APHASIA (CYTUS 2)

district 5, while taking place in a castle, ironically has the least orchestral song so far, adding onto the dissonance between the original battlefield and the one on the rooftop. the chaotic talking in the background, hardstyle beat, nonstop drum and heavy dissonance all add onto the chaos of the fight, with a monster being put into play for the first time. jiwoong and jongwoo are both extremely strong fighters and this reflects that well; had they been in possession longer or had stronger issues for mnet to take advantage of they could've been even more deadly

DISTRICT SIX - MASANORI AKITA - GEKKOUKA (CYTUS 2)

while district 6 doesn't really count as district since yujin was an outlier/defect, the calmer tone of this piece helps to add onto the strange beach environment and how yujin is different from the rest in how he's supposed to be saved. it also helps that the start of this ost is similar to the start of district 3's, a foreshadow for god-shattering mania :)

DISTRICT SEVEN - JOHTO ELITE FOUR: WILL (POKEMON MASTERS EX)

finally breaking away from cytus 2 for the district that actually makes use of the city around it. this particular pokemon theme is pretty menacing, yet still hopeful since zoom team is so close to the end and the win conditions seem easy enough... barring shanbin and matthews telekinesis powers, ofc. also i feel like this beat being much faster paced compared to previous osts helps to sell the whole racing aspect of the district. its a very huge tonal change

DISTRICT EIGHT - POWERLESS - DEUS EX MACHINA (CYTUS 2)

jumping back into cytus 2 with this song, this was the particular ost that kinda inspired the whole track in general. the heavy violin helps to represent hao while the electronic bass helps represent gunwook's more pragmatic approach (that is, using a fucking rifle). the choir adds onto the stakes, with this being a fight that involves trying to save a hostage while also take out the two possessed contestants. considering how action-centric this district is, it really adds onto the whole "this is one of the most important fights" point of this

DISTRICT NINE - TEAM GRIMOIRE - XIORC (CYTUS 2)

out of all the districts, this has the fastest beat, almost breakbeat pace, because of how urgent it is and how high the stakes are at this point. its a very violent and overwhelming piece since it manages to take out four of the zoom team easily, even though anthonny and krystian get purposefully let go. also adds on to how dangerous this district is, attacking the members' insecurities and with phanbin being forced to tap into mnet's possession to help hyunbeen and wumuti take down the district (and fun fact! ollie, wumuti, hyunbeen, and phanbin were unaffected as they had little to no negative opinions from the bp fanbase during the show)

DISTRICT TEN - RAGE AWAKENED (KINGDOM HEARTS 2)

with hui being the last district, and with how depressing his is compared to everyone else's, the somber violin and quiet near drum and bass beat give this district some extra sadness, with how easily hui gives up and how the goal changes from trying to attack him to keeping him safe long enough for mnet to interfere. it feels like a struggle to get to the finish line

FINAL BOSS - DARK EVE (BAYONETTA 3)

(THERE'S A TEN VID LIMIT SO I CAN'T POST THE EMBED BUT THE LINK IS IN THE TITLE)

this theme is pretty elegant and almost sad-sounding, but in a way that shows mnet's overshadowing power over everything, how it was the puppeteer behind everyone's struggles, really depicting how much rage in set between the members of zoom team versus the thing that created them yet destroyed them at the same time. also, of course, obligatory final boss choir

overall fnd has a very orchestral track, with the violin and piano being common appearances. fnd's track is a lot more cohesive than the one i had for god shattering mania due to the nature of their premises. glad i could share this with yall and thanks for reading this far and entertaining my aus :)

[batmanrogues-scenarios]

Batman Unburied

I wasn't expecting Bruce to work at the morgue but I was like "Alright, they took liberties " but then his parents walked in and I was like "... they took a lot of liberties or this is a Scarecrow joke"

Okay, there's definitely something going on, his memories of alley are blocked, it feels like that Mad Hatter episode in BTAS

The Harvester is creepy, give me Zsasz vibes

The mind fuckery, that is happening with Bruce

Oh Barbara, nice

If Bruce doesn't have an uncle/aunt then dies that means Batwoman doesn't exist?

Nygma knowing Bruce is Batman is always interesting.

"Thank you Jervis!" Took me out lol

Of course Riddler got jealous of Harvester

I like Barbara's and Ed's dynamic 👀

"Am I interrupting?" "Yes" "I don't care" love the dude

Strange twist is nice

Oh he wasn't rogue before

The fucking Ahoy, hoy. What the hell Eddie?

"You're well and truly fucked" I wasn't aware how much I needed for Ed to swear

I'm not sure if I trust Nygma to not stab Gordon but we'll see

Lmao, Bruce brain is terrifying true

The comic bullshit sir

Aw, the lady calling Batman cool is so sweet

… what do you mean Strange is dead

Jervis telling people to fuck off is funny to hear

Stop assaulting people Batman!

Even Jervis calls Tut delusional lol

… Batman saying sorry actually has a meaning, this is Batman.

I'm happy he thinks they deserve better so how about stop beating them! I'm letting it go this time because he was high on emotions.

Ok, so we're just gonna talk about cannibalism. Okay.

The Scarecrow makes people taste better. Okay…

Is it Poison Ivy?

Yep. It's interesting she had powers since she was a child.

Wait so she wasn't known back then.

Oh oh. Yeah, her dad isn't the best.

Her bacstory is so interesting, I will include her in my character writing.

Fuck her father.

Fuck the Dr.

Her music is so beautiful.

That's honesty nice plan.

I will never get used to Bruce having feeling for Vicky after watching Arkham games.

Damn, those people really loved Bruce. They're ready to attack Batman for him.

Pamela not hating people instead trying to help them is nice.

Does everyone knows that Bruce is Batman?

"You choose the word where we were disappointed in you" Oh my God my heart

They're talk is so beautiful.

Not his mother crying 😭

Pamela losing her shit is amazing.

Whoa, he brings up Alex. Nice.

Go Ace!

Are they seriously gonna kill Pamela?

Barbara become Batgirl?

Pamela is alive!

Lmao, suspending trivia nights because Riddler escaped.

Bat calling him Eddie, love it.

Can't wait for season 2! Now time for Batman Audio Adventures !

[ch3irv3]

(joker voice) how do you feel about … chiscara, batman?

I thought I had already responded to this, but I just typed it out and forgot to post it??? I’m sorry for the super late response, omg.

You poor soul, you don't even realize what you've asked.

-> These are just my head canons so this may be very ooc. I'm sorry if that bothers you.

They’re 100% angst, no happy ending (I'm so sorry, joker </3).

The way Childe forgets about him in game is actually really funny. Imagine being so deeply in love with someone and then suddenly forgetting their existence entirely. My condolences chiscara fans.

We need to open up a case study on their relationship, I think.

They’d be so unhealthy for each other(least during pre-scara redemption arc, not sure about post, but we’ll see once they meet again). Scara seems like the type to bottle up his emotions and blow up when they get to be too much. Childe would probably push his boundaries, unknowingly. A tiresome on and off, but I wouldn’t necessarily say couple. They seem like they would be unlabeled (they are only together when scaramouche feels like it, with no regard to Childe’s feelings).

Doomed lovers.

Cringe analysis and HC warning !!

They’re perfect opposites of each other, but not in a "haha, opposites attract" kinda way; more like in a “I genuinely cannot fathom a way either of you two would get along or even see eye to eye.” They’re on both opposing sides of a spectrum.

Family isn’t a concept Scaramouche is all that familiar with, he’s been wandering around with all this resentment and anger towards Ei in his heart. The earliest and closest thing he’s ever had to family or at least what a mother is (he's had others, like kazuha's grandpa, but this experience with Ei was the catalyst for it all), or at least the concept of it, was probably what ever small time he spent with Ei in trying to become the stand in for the electro archon.

-> I’m delusional (and also a firm believer in trans Scara 🙏 so this would all be pre-transition), so walk with me for a second. I fully believe EI created Scara with the similar traits to Makoto (whether it be intentionally or unintentionally) because she could not come to terms with her sister’s passing, in futile attempt to lessen her grieving, she made him. But instead of bringing her closure, of which she desperately needed, he ended up becoming an ever present reminder of Makoto's death. Naturally, It eats away at her. He's so gentle, so human (as human as a puppet can be ig)... just like her (I wouldn't be surprised if he shares similar ideals to Makoto during this point). She doesn't dispose of him, like Yae suggested (and was more than willing to go through with, if given the chance) not only because she loved him, but because in doing so it would feel like loosing her again. She instead drifts him off into a peaceful slumber (but not without tears nor heartbreak).

Which is in stark contrast to Ajax. Now, that's not to say Childe's childhood or family (him and his father are definitely not on the best terms) was any better, but he is indeed a family man. He would have most likely gone even more insane after his time in the abyss if it weren’t for them. So a lot of what he does is for their sake (even if his father may not agree). He’s only ever thinking about them. He is devoted to two things, the tsaritsa (silly God-fearing man, lmao. tbh, he's got that catholic guilt look to him) and his family.

I feel like scara resents him the moment they meet. Ajax’s really ran away from home because things back home were getting boring. Scara would kill to be in his position honestly; a warm home and the loving embrace of a mother. Scara constantly battles with the feeling of being unwanted or replaceable (oh he needs so much therapy). Which is why he is constantly pushing others away, better to be by yourself than open yourself up to the possibility of getting abandon again and again.