#bc of his own petty grudge

[khrused-archived]

..my grandma passed away ln and I've been crying since ln and all this morning. I just don't know how much worse this can get. I feel like? I'm losing everything and everyone i loved and im having a hard time. So today...idk if ill be around. Or the rest of this week. Idk. My heart just rly hurts rn . I want to write and talk especially now but...jjst no promises, ok?

[magentagalaxies]

vent incoming:

got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!

[dapper-lil-arts]

Rank your villains even the redeemed ones from best to worst

i don't know all of them by heart so I'll just point out a top 5 1 - Chrysalis is number 1 because pure evil with no tragic backstory, a petty loser that is bitter and lonely and desperate and despite being so powerful, continues to pick the worst battles lmao. Her voice acting is impecable and her design is incredible.

2 - Wallflower Blush isn't written perfectly by any means but she's the most personal antagonist in all of the series, is one that has a specific grudge with 1 character and no desire to take over the world, and does not steal magic or even mind control, She is essentially Sunset's nemesis which is incredible bc Wallflower can't even throw a punch. 3 - Discord is the quintessential chaos god, bizzare, strange, unempathetic, and thinks and acts on another level, and his pride and lack of empathy eventually leads to his downfall because of course, he underestimates that people can band together to beat him. Also he's incredibly terrifyingly powerful and his nerf is that he's overconfident and simply doesn't behave cleverly because he doesn't need to, heh.

4 - The Dazzlings are just phenomenal, usually i wouldn't care for pointless mind control plots, but not only do they have a diffrent style by having it done with singing (because they're SIRENS) but theyre also in a MOVIE about a BATTLE OF THE BANDS, that is just perfectly composed and leads to an incredible finale of song vs song with the three dazzlings being legit entertaining even individually.

5 - Trixie is just a comical funny petty idiot that is way in over her head, and I love that her motive is her own feeling of inadequacies being projected towards twilight. "She's just so perfect at everything, I wanted to beat her at SOMETHING!!" And she makes for a wonderful character that you love to hate and even a fun redeemed gal.

[butchjess]

when you whenen when you think about how lorelai has the ability to understand jess in a way nobody else really can and has moments of extreme compassion and empathy for him that leak through her general lens of viewing jess as a lost cause/troublemaker/devil incarnate which is borne out of her insecurity around her most valued relationships and the way jess both in-universe and from a meta standpoint exists to not only have incredibly important relationships with rory and luke both but also to cause conflict between lorelai and luke/lorelai and rory because of it. but in these moments she has to instead confront the fact that he is just a kid and he’s having a hard time. he can’t talk because its hard for him to talk bc its hard for HER to talk (i don’t know how to tell you things, mom) he knows bc SHE would have known (i don’t know, kid, but this whole thing reeks of emily). and well, she is very petty and would never say this/defend him to his face bc when she tried to oprah him he immediately lashed out and read her so well that she is never letting that grudge go ever until they actually talk about it and theyre never going to unless you held them at gunpoint and even then they both would probably prefer to die than actually talk about their feelings and why they reacted the way they did. also it is just a natural reaction i think to be faced w your younger self and immediately try to strangle them. like lorelai is not doing that treat yourself w the kindness that u would to ur own child thing no she is biting and scratching and killing immediately. she would SAY she’d love to treat her younger self w the kindness she was never given but honestly after Teen Lorelai gives her one single bitchy knowing comment she would be a hater forever and that is real as hell to me..

[monstersinthecosmos]

🔥 + Marius and Santino in TVA

[ 🔥 asks! ] LORD HELP ME

(tldr it’s the saddest thing ever and I’m obsessed with it)

first of all lets take stock of these two important moments they share in between Santino nearly having Marius killed and Marius having Santino killed:

Santino arrives with Pandora to rescue Marius from the Shrine in QOTD

Santino helps Marius clean up the Vampire DNA after Armand's attempted suicide, before they know he's alive.

I find this tension VERY VERY GOOD, it’s horny, it’s heartbreaking, it’s devastating in that trademark VC way where it’s so so so so fucking dark and just throbbing. I’m obsessed!!!

It’s interesting to me bc I have many many times yelled about how vampires have all the time in the world to grow past grudges and how they aren’t as constrained by human emotion and YET. There are are a few characters we meet in the series who are petty bitches until the end and can’t ever get past the grudge. (Marius, Rhosh, perhaps Eudoxia or the twins). So it makes me think back to this quote from TVL

“None of us really changes over time. We only become more fully what we are.”

So I wonder how much of this quality is innate; maybe if you aren’t capable of growing past a grudge, you simply won’t.

At the same time I don’t think it’s ever fair to talk about people in absolutes; certainly not real humans but also characters in a universe with so much emotional texture. Because this isn’t a condemnation of Marius to never grow or be better; I don’t think that’s the case with him at all. But I think he’s an incredibly injured person who has a lot of healing to do, and it feels like every time he almost gets there in the books, something catastrophic happens to retraumatize him and set him back.

And I think because he tries SO HARD to be an old Roman stoic that he never really gets time to be honest with himself about his own emotions. Even in B&G he talks about this often, like the “I have lived lies” quote—he KNOWS he’s got unhinged emotions on the inside that he can’t process. And he’s never quite ready to process them.

Like, maybe he was almost there but he lost Pandora. Or maybe he was almost there when Rome fell and he had to have a depression sleep. Maybe he was almost there in Venice and Santino raided the palazzo. Then he healed with Bianca and fucked it up. Then he was ready to invite Lestat into his home and Lestat woke up Akasha. THEN AKASHA ROSE UP AND BETRAYED HIM. THEN ARMAND KILLED HIMSELF. THEN HE FUCKED UP WITH SYBELLE & BENJI. THEN HE KILLED ARJUN IN A FIT.

But like. There’s this violence and anger inside where he’s not processing his emotions, and how much of it is like the human half of him and how much is vampire nature? I think it’s really powerful that Blood Communion ends with him painting a mural and finally accepting vampires as their own people and their own subculture. It makes me think he’s ready to be kind to himself and honest about what he needs to do and who he needs to be.

Anyway I say all that because like. It’s just so fucking sad dude.

We don’t get a lot of information about Santino so a lot of this is like backward engineered and blanks I try to fill in but like, we know he was religious, and within the framework of VC there’s so much Catholicism just baked into the universe anyway. So like, him working with Pandora to save Marius, and him being with Marius as they try to grieve Armand together feel so much like an attempt at atonement that just doesn’t sink in for Marius. He just can’t get there.

And like. I JUST THINK OFTEN ABOUT HOW FUCKED UP ARMAND’S INDOCTRINATION INTO THE CULT WAS, but Armand STAYED and he was a LEADER. So it makes me wonder if a similar level of depravity is what brought SANTINO into the cult, as well, like if this is a cycle of abuse. And I feel that Santino is trying hard to break that, to be someone else now, to apologize to Marius through these actions. And I think he knows he fucked up and I think he’s willing to be patient and do the penance for everything, but he’s up against such a seriously injured, hurt person who is not ready to accept.

But gosh like. Santino is so gentle and comforting even in those scenes when he first takes Armand, and it’s so much like Marius. THEY ARE HIS TWO DADS OKAY. And they both are such calm energies and it’s so disarming!

And like I wonder too if Marius sees that. I FEEL LIKE I’LL GO INTO A SIDE ESSAY DON’T LET ME GET CARRIED AWAY ON THIS TOPIC so put a pin in this but: Does Marius realize how similar they are? Does he lash out because of self loathing? I often wonder if he chose Lestat to share the secrets with because Lestat reminded him of himself, as well, so I wonder how often he’s compartmentalized parts of himself and lashed out at others who embody these things???? But he and Santino truly have so much in common, almost like funhouse mirror versions of each other. And I think about like, in family units how the ones who are most alike are always the ones at each other’s throats. (See also: Lestat & Claudia.)

So anyway I think like, BACK TO UR QUESTION. The scene in TVA is like one of the most absolutely devastating moments in VC for me. Santino trying to do his penance, be supportive, trying so hard in these few decades to apologize to Marius for everything that happened. Marius playing the role he’s supposed to play, trying to be chill about it, trying to cooperate. And if we never went on to B&G it could be happily ever after and maybe we’d never know that his progress collapsed afterwards, or that it wasn't progress at all and he was just going through motions that he felt he was supposed to.

And it’s just so heartbreaking and ironic that like these two are maybe the only two in the world who know Armand in a certain way, and maybe Santino would have been someone who could help Marius grieve if they could just share it and help each other, but it’s not how it went.

(also I hope this isn't tacky and arrogant but I wrote a fic about this one time that I think sums my feelings up 😭😭😭)

[trophyposting]

TROPHY HEADCANONS bc i am spinning him around in my mind 24/7

•he LOVES studio ghibli movies bc of the art. he saw some of the residents watching ponyo in the lobby and he did that thing where he just stood in one place not sitting down to watch it bc he didnt wanna seem like he liked it. but he does. his favorite scenes art-wise are the big zoomed out landscapes and that one scene in ponyo where the town is underwater

•he cries like super easily (see waffling about and this post) and he doesnt even have to be very upset either it just kind of happens. crybaby ass

•he is an (probably undiagnosed) adhd-haver. i dont really have any evidence for this i just feel it in my bones

•he has NPD. i do have evidence for this one actually but that would be a whole post on its own honestly

•eventually his interest in photography extends to an interest in things he likes to photograph (eg. plants/flowers and butterflies)

•when clover comes to the island trophy ends up photographing (and by extension hanging out with) her a lot because she's, like, supernaturally photogenic and trophy loves how photos of her turn out. they become friends :-)

•he actually does genuinely dominate at dodgeball bc it involves two of his favorite things: 1. violence and 2. targeting the most autistic people he can find. cheesy just happened to throw him off with that joke about balls (also one of his favorite things)

•there's gotta be like some actual psychological warfare shit going on between trophy and tissues bc not only are they both petty bitches (more accurately tissues is a petty bitch and trophy is quick to anger and holds grudges which creates a self-perpetuating cycle of bitchiness) and they also spent like,., months in a closet together which is of course a recipe for disaster. in the case of limegold they're like that post about having sex by standing on opposite sides of the room fully-clothed trying to explode each other with their minds

•if trophy and cabby met i think they would actually hit it off bc he loves talking about himself and cabby loves knowing things about people. i even think he would be understanding of her memory issues bc his adhd ass would be like "? you forget things sometimes? hey me too dw abt it" bc like. even if her memory problems are more severe than his he still, like, understands yk (i do NAWT CARE if this is ooc they mean everything. 2 me)

•if trophy and silver spoon met silver spoon would dislike him for being "uncivilized and uncouth" and trophy would dislike him for being a snob. i love the aesthetic of those two as a duo but sadly i can't imagine them befriending each other

•he's probably from some totally obscure and random state in the midwest. like, iowa or nebraska or something. minnesota perhaps

•he kind of knows, at least on some level, that his decision-making skills aren't. great. that knowledge has not and never will stop him from continuing to make questionable decisions

•he loves relaxing and being alone, probably more than anyone would expect. he does have a workout regimen as fan said but working out is really more of a meditative and stress-relieving activity for him even if he isn't really fully aware of it. this is also (at least part of the reason) why he loves photography

•he kind of hates sleeping in his room bc of tissues' sneezing so he's developed insomnia and kind of just. wanders around at night. when he does get tired he just falls asleep in random places, usually on the couch in the lobby but sometimes he just. passes out on the floor

•that is. it :-)

[nsewell]

17, 20, 31, 32, & 58 for nate and gen pleaaaase <33

otp asks.

17. who's more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

so nate is very much the instigator at the begining of their relationship for most everything but espescially the physical aspects, gen is just. very slow moving with initiating that kind of stuff until they reach a certain point, i think it even surprises her that it's something she wants to do and has to get comfortable with, she can be touch averse. however the dynamic shifts once gen feels more settled and then she's definetely the one more likely to drag him down by the lappels at unexpected moments and lay one on him

20. choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship?

i'll cheat and pick 2 because i think their relationship has different flavors to it, the swept up passion and the undercurrent of tension from all the secrets

the louvre by lorde

well, summer slipped us underneath her tongue / our days and nights are perfumed with obsession / half of my wardrobe is on your bedroom floor / use our eyes, throw our hands overboard

good looking by suki waterhouse

the skyline falls as i try to make sense of it all / i thought i'd learned all of your secrets but turns out there's more / you adored me before / oh, my good looking boy

30. your otp gets to pick out each other's outfits: what is each wearing?

ooh i'll do date night fits as the context is actually something i see happening in my canon for them, they both get off a little on this ^^. nate would love to dress her in something that belongs to him, probably that he's owned for a long time, like a blazer or his leather jacket that would be oversized on her, layered on top of a black dress bc he knows it's her favorite color to wear. and then he'd adorn her with jewelry he bought for her, silver of course, she's a winter color season. she would take him out his layering and put him in a button down with the top few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up. in his little chinos with a belt on and his hair down and loose it's so over for her she thinks he looks his best when he's dressed like a whorish college professor

32. who's the better storyteller?

nate can weave a better tale just because gen tends to get caught up in minor details and specifics, just gets too pragmatic. as a child she was always interrupting bedtime stories with endless why's and how come's that would drive her nanny up the wall

58. who's more likely to hold a grudge after an argument?

gennnn absolutely gen the instance where nate tries to prevent her from defending herself did not go over well in book 3, in the aftermath she chose pointedly not to sit by him lol. she will withhold affection, she can be petty and unhealthy about things! she does not have a good frame of reference for healthy relationships so communication can be a bit of an impasse with her. she's growing be patient with her nate.

[arry-katt310]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

I'm gonna explain more on Maddie’s character bc she's my current obsession and I keep coming up with more for her.

Maddie is currently pansexual. She ends up with a cross dressing boyfriend who she gets married to in the future. That'll be another post tho.

She may not support the things her family does, but she supports their sexual preferences. So she wears pride stuff such as rubber band bracelets the colors of her brothers' sexuality flags on her wrists constantly.

Some other facts about her:

She has been in the pocket dimension of Hell for a year now.

Constantly exhausted.

Babysits Andrew when her brother is at work; she adores Andrew and tries not to get on his case about how crappy his father is.

Got shot 5 times before she moved in the pocket dimension.

People love to call her "a gift from the Gods".

She helps around the city and is a speaker for the church; the church is actually very terrible. The pastor is unhealthily obsessed with her, his logic is "she's a gift from the Gods, I'm the main pastor of the church, so therefore she was sent here for me" he hasn't told anyone this, but he has said it to her a couple times and holds it against her. This will be a different post later.

She acts a LOT like her dad. She's good at gaslighting ppl. Very good at it. And possibly one if the only ppl who can read her father; she can't always do it, but to Julius's @sanityshorror surprise, she has done it before.

She can fight powerful people, but she can't go against her dad. If she ever does get in a physical fight with him, she'd lose. It's bc I triggers her childhood trauma whenever her dad gets violent, so she'll easily let that get to her and it'll put her guard down.

Idk if this is something Killian @sanityshorror would actually do, but he wanted to see how good she was at fighting, so he asked her to show him by battling with him. Now if Julius was the one who asked her, she'd back down, but since she doesn't know Killian that well, she accepted. However this ended terribly. She got sidetracked and Killian cut her arm open with his weapon. He had no intention of hurting her, so he's very upset with himself bc of this incident.

Since Maddie is a vampire and can communicate with the dead, she talks to her mother’s ghost. Half of their conversations is just bashing her father. Emily doesn't really have anything against Julius and holds no grudge, but if Maddie wants to, they'll spend hours talking shit. Emily dies draw the line at bashing Octavian @sanityshorror and Devlin @scarfaxia. Bc those two are STILL her sons in her eyes, and they have been working hard just to get Maddie to trust them. So she will not let Maddie hurt her brothers.

When she was younger, she was so desperate for her father's attention, that she tried to make her own little designs for him to look at. She never had the confidence to show him, but when he was going through things at the old house, he found one of her designs and actually created it. Its on display at the dress shop. However this was so long ago that she does not know that that dress was one that she created. He's been trying to hint at it, but he's Julius so he doesn't do much and is too petty to do actually it.

Maddie doesn't have any friends. She's too busy to hang out a keep a friendship going. So her brothers are the only ones she hangs out with.

Maddie is only 16. She's a high school student, so she's busy with that.

Her worst subject is history while her best is English. Killian tutors her in history whenever he has the time. And since then, she's been getting higher grades.

She also is taking a psychology class. She has a pretty high grade in it.

The only reason she's IN the pocket dimension is bc when Julius killed Annabella, he had no idea that Maddie was living with her and when he found out, he was told by Satan to keep her bc he sees her as "good potential"

Maddie has no desire to join Julius. The second she graduates high-school, she's going to college. And probably moving out of state.

That's all! Bye! Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[localcryptic]

When's the oc lore dropping bc I'm already interested in al a kazam

brother for you i'll make it happen right now

(my own art! yippee!)

a brief summary of the man the myth the legend:

thiiis issss allen kurtzmann, known by his stage name Al A. Kazam. he was a magician/con artist in the 1920s.

he got into stage magic as a kid because he had reaaaally high hopes that it would make people like him (he had extremely limited success).

he grew up as a pickpocket and moved on to other petty crime as an adult, where he met his ex-partner, simon

simon wanted to expand his con operation into something bigger, and tried to kick al off the team and break up with him. al, handling this situation extremely well, murdered him.

(there was sooo much more drama to the situation but that's the funnier way to put it)

Anyways. al took his little act solo for a while, hoping to scrape by unnoticed. That Is, Until at Age 25, When He Died And Went To Hell ❤️

Al Spent 90 Years In Purgatory By Accident, Had a Fling With the Demon that was Supposed to Make Sure he Left Purgatory at some point (Kazikor <3), and then got in Big Huge Trouble For It

his demon lover kaz took the majority of the fall for him (sorry man) so al didn't get sent to a lower layer of hell for like, disrupting the entire system for nearly a century. Yippee!

However, he has been sent to the first layer of hell, which has become a sprawling metropolis, aptly known as Hell City. and as his punishment, he must suffer the worst hell of all........ An unpaid internship

To make up for fucking up the whole system, al has been assigned to work for the Hell City Municipal Department indefinitely, or until they think he's properly made up for the 90 Years Of Bullshit he caused. he is working as a bounty hunter to track down Other people who shouldn't be in our layer of hell and get them put back where they belong.

al's life actually like, Vastly improved upon dying and going to hell. he like, has an apartment and is making friends and things

there is the issue of his ex, simon, who has spent the last 95 years in hell becoming a big, intimidatingly powerful name in the city's organized crime, and a tendency towards holding grudges and wanting revenge

and also the issue of the Cursed Amulet he thought was his "lucky charm" but appears to be not only Actually Magical unlike his phony bullshit, but (a) Sentient, and (b) Capable of Summoning Horrifying Shadow Monsters That Want Him Dead Directly To His Location if he fucks up handling it..

and also also the issue of the crawling sense of paranoia he experiences every time he's alone, and also also also the issue of all of these mysteries beginning to unfold that he seems to somehow be connected to......

but like, other than that, he's settling in to the afterlife nicely and it's like, going pretty well!

ANYWAYS that's the context for this son of a bitch. thank u for asking !!

[cosmicjoke]

there’s this specific group of eruri shippers on twitter that i had to mute/block bc of their takes on levi’s character, especially now with the final episode releasing. as another anon previously said, some of them are trying so hard to prove levi only cared about erwin and erwin only (stating, for example, that levi never cared that annie killed his squad bc he let her join them in the final battle (same with gabi), meanwhile he’s sooo angry with zeke purely because he killed his ‘love’), it’s like they don’t want to understand his character at all😭 or as if levi being compassionate and caring towards other people will ruin/threatens their ‘canon’ ship. even levi’s conclusion is being criticized by some, because how dare he give children candies when he should be mourning erwin like mikasa is mourning eren, or he should do x thing because erwin would’ve liked it, like…. let that man be his own person. i’m sorry if this is repetitive, because i know you get asked quite a lot about these things specifically😭 i enjoy your content a lot and the way you analyze levi’s complexity as a character

Jesus, that's... lame as hell, lol. Levi shouldn't get to be happy because he should spend the rest of his life pining after Erwin? Really? lol. I'm sorry, that's actually kind of funny, it's so pathetic. What's wrong with these people? They're angry because the canonical ending is directly contradicting their fantasy about Levi and Erwin. If Levi isn't paralyzed by his grief for his "lover" then it's the wrong ending for him, lol. I swear, you can't make this shit up.

I've gone over the stupidity of people criticizing Levi for not being angry at Annie, or not protesting Annie working with them. The world was on the verge of being destroyed, all of humanity wiped out, and yet Levi's supposed to be petty enough to complain about Annie lending them a hand in a desperate fight because she killed his squad? It just shows these people don't understand AT ALL who Levi is, or what he was fighting for. The same thing applies to their claims about Levi being "angry" at Zeke. They don't understand at all why Levi wanted to kill Zeke. They think it was for revenge, but it never was. It was to honor his fallen comrades by giving their deaths meaning. He promised to kill Zeke in return for them giving their lives. And they want Levi to also hate Gabi now too, I guess. That's cute. Yes, it would make Levi such a badass if he were to forever hold a grudge against a twelve year old little girl.

If these people took even a moment to listen to themselves and how they sound, they would realize what idiots they looked like to everyone else.

[ustalav]

💔 for Sev 💛 and ✨️ for Vicente and 🦷 for both bc im obsessed with that option

all answers subject to change lol but i have been having fun discussing our rook ideas

💔 - Does forgiveness come easily or with difficulty to this oc? Can they forgive others? What about themselves?

Sev strikes me as the type to hold a grudge. It does depend on the offense, but I don't think they are prone to forgiving and forgetting. She can be vengeful, even in petty ways lol. It is in my brain that he wanted to be a dragon hunter like some of his older siblings before he joined the Mourn Watch. And I'm still thinking about where I will go with that but I do think it will involve her harboring a grudge against her parents. Unless canon overwrites that lmao

And as for herself, she has pretty high standards for herself. They push themselves to learn as much as they can, studying necromancy even though he'll never have a talent for it. Pushing herself to the limits with a sword (or SCYTHE PLEASE). If something were to happen because of something they neglected to do, they would beat themselves up about it.

🦷 - Would this oc ever bite someone?

LOL. Severin absolutely would bite someone. Probably in the bedroom, I think they do fight somewhat nobly, but if its the only option, she'll go for it.

Vicente will fight dirty, he's not opening with biting fjdsakl but hey, it's an option and he'll take it.

rest under cut

💛 - Are they ‘good with children’, or more awkward?

Ohhh...... good question...... I feel like children are not treated well in the Crows lol... I think he may be inclined to just treat them like little adults, but I could see children being a soft spot for him. His own childhood sucked (Which im sure will be filled out by some canon) and he doesn't see any reason in making theirs any worse.

His whole schtick is hating the crows but staying loyal to them. So I don't think he'd encourage rebelliousness, but... he'd have a fun time playing swords with them <3

✨ - Tell something that makes this oc feel happy!

A nice, warm night drinking wine and eating fine food while looking out over the Antivan seaside. A brisk stroll through a bustling fish market. I think he does love his country for all its flaws.

[okthatsgreat]

hi lee!!!!!! 18, 21, 23 and 27? for any oc you feel like talking about :)

HIIIIIIIII LILY HI 😁 just for you i will do elese bc she is very funny 2 me

OC ASK GAME!

18. what embarrasses them?

LMFAO ok so elese is the kind of girl that claims she isnt embarrassed by anything and frankly she doesn't get super easily embarrassed by her OWN actions often (both because she is kind of oblivious when it comes to insight and also she has an air of righteousness about everything that just screams Well If Nobody Liked what I Just Said then THEY Must Be Weird). BUT on the occasion where she knowssss she totally fucked up/said something weird around somebody shes close to THEN she gets embarrassed. she was raised to learn a rather pompous form of social etiquette so while she is stuck up she knows how to be polite at times. when she egregiously screws something up she really kicks herself for it lol. all of this to say she usually only really cares about this when shes around people shes close to (or if shes intimidated as hell) because elese loovvvveeeessss just saying things and acting like there will be no consequence because she's nobility

21. why do they get up in the morning? 

um 😍 i mean ORIGINALLY she woke up in the morning to continue her usual routine, didn't really have much ambition to push herself beyond her capabilities considering she wasn't in line to rise above her current station any time soon. she DID really love playing music though and considered that her biggest strength (and weirdly enough an act of rebellion????? her family probably didnt expect her to continue playing any instruments after they stopped hiring a tutor lol), so for a while she woke up to further that ambition!! CURRENTLY though she wakes up in the morning to survive another day and get this weird tadpole out of her head el oh el

23. how does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? 

SHES SO PETTY LMAOOOOOOO she gets envious so quickly too. her ego is so easily bruised its insane, and that is a one-sided grudge she carries around for a whillleeee. elese has only encountered a limited amount of people before and mostly all of them have done nothing but affirm her belief that she is the greatest bard around so her first encounter with other bards (that were on her level if not better than her) was just her being sooooo passive aggressive ghfdjkghskfgk. smiling so wide at alfira gritting her teeth going That Song was.............. 🙂 a Fine tribute 😀

27. what causes them to feel dread? 

QUITE A LOT especially now that she's outside in this totally unknown land. she's learning soooo much about what it's like out here and learning even more quickly that she is in NO WAY as prepared for anything as she thought she was lol. it's a tough lesson to learn but it's one she's gotta get over quickly bc shes got a bunch of people to fight and a long road ahead of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jakowskis]

Day 4 - What’s your least favorite episode(s)?

oh g-d ok. so the way i said even the best torchwood eps are 70% good 30% bad? well my least favorite eps are like, 80% bad, 20% something that fucking rots my brain... and my resentment + frustration is increased by the fact that, like, im not able to dismiss the ep completely bc there's like two or three good things in all the mess. so then i have to revisit it, and every time i do im reminded how bad it is. jgkfgk. so it builds up my disdain more than usual

anyway. i hope i dont hurt anyones feelings w these opinions im just petty fhsdkjfsdhjk

ok i have a particular grudge against adam. it makes me viscerally angry. i have a tangible hatred for adam!owen like JGKFKGKGKF it's semi inexplicable but he makes me angryyyyy. i see ppl gush about him being cute in that ep - to me, he comes across as a pushy niceguy in it and it grosses me tf out, and i hateeee the towen implications there, bc usually it's switched, right? so if confident!tosh is like normal!owen, i dislike conflating stalkery niceguy!owen with normal!tosh, like?? bc if adam!owen's love for tosh mirrors normal!tosh's love for him, then the way adam!tosh feels about adam!owen (aka, legitimate disgust + disdain) is Not a good sign for how normal!owen feels about normal!tosh. she's cruel to him in that ep, just like he's usually cruel to her, and it's just... eugh. i continue to be #1 towen critic. baffles me that the show was tryna pass them off as cute - baffles me that ppl FIND them cute. more about that when i talk abt my notps ig 😭

(adam cont.) and then i hated the jack plot, but that's a me thing bc i hate the gray arc. i also hated adam taking advantage of tosh. ianto's plotline was underwhelming to me, like ig it's cool i just haven't ever thought of it since i first saw it fff. i like the concept of the ep, i just disliked the execution. that being said - the scene where they're all gathered around the conference table haunts me. one of my favs.

then we have dead man walking, my beloathed. i like the resurrection scene itself, and gwen & owen's hug... and that's it. the rest is so ridiculous n bad n corny n an insult to owen 😭 and they MAJORLY flubbed the jack & owen scenes like they had sm potential to explore shit there n they DIDNT. unforgivable. the jail cell should've been fantastic n it's just... meh. i hate that ep it's laughable. there's some good shit sprinkled in but it's not explored, like owen would've been horrified at something possessing him n invading him, esp bc he has control issues - but they dont dwell on it. he WAS pissed off w jack for bringing him back - but they don't dwell on it. martha's clearly dealing w survivor's guilt, the team are experiencing loss, and none of that's properly touched. it's just. ugh. ill talk about some of this stuff more when i talk abt scenes i wish i could fix

my other one i dislike, although my grudge is less personal, is adrift. it's alright on its own, i just hate it being at the end of s2, when we only have two episodes left with tosh and owen. i feel like it was a prime time to do a tosh episode, because she was majorly underutilized as a character, like the show never prioritizes her (+ all her eps are romantic plots which annoys me personally. shes a fucking cyberterrorist why didnt we get an ep about that). i also hate that owen was deemed irrelevant after his undead arc. grr. i for one love gwen adventure eps (+ andy's in that one!!!! and rhys like im fond of all of them so i like those eps) it just feels like a missed opportunity to highlight one of them one last time. esp tosh. owen got enough attention gkfkgk

[azsazz]

okay i was reading through your blog and i saw this anon commenting on azriel in midnight muse and saying that they don't feel bad for him and that it's a "you made your bed now lie in it" situation but it really rubbed me the wrong way for some reason.

is azriel being petty and immature in the story? yes. is reader also being a little petty? yes. that's the trope. but besides that what i think everyone meant when they said they felt sorry for azriel is that he was completely ditched by his friends. regardless of the reason, if your friends know you're not comfortable in the same presence as someone else and then lie to you to get you to go hang out with that person then they're being bad friends. this is a story and the point of it is that they'll get together so it's kinda fine here but if in your own life your friends do this to you, no matter how petty or dumb the reason for not liking or wanting to be in another person's presence is, they're bad friends and straight up don't respect your boundaries. i think what the batboys should have done was just let him know she was going to be there and still invite him or even tell him that they really wish he would come if they wanted him to go and then he'd make that decision himself. same with being left behind at the end, obviously no one is obliged to their friend's time but it read as they usually spend that time together so azriel literally just assumed that was what they would be doing and it is sad to see him be left behind alone, maybe the anon that sent that never felt like that but it sucks to not be invited or even being told of your friends plans, being left out sucks and cassian barely gave him a goodbye or spared him a thought when he left. again, all they had to do was at least let him know. and what rhys tells him is true, they didn't give the girls a chance and should apologize but they don't have to be friends lol. the story is supposed to end up like that but if this was a real situation the only thing azriel is doing wrong is not apologize for the initial fight, he doesn't have any obligation to be reader's friend even if cass and rhys are. no one is obliged to be anyone's friend ever. and, again, it feels kinda shitty of rhys to basically tell him "either be alone or go put up with this person i know you don't like" to be able to spend time with them. honestly, i don't even think he was as sad at being alone but more that his friends just brushed him off like that. i don't know but it feels like lack of sympathy (that i unfortunately have had to deal way too often) to just say "well azriel was an asshole a couple times so he deserves for his friends to not respect his boundaries and leave him behind". also rhys is going more because he's trying to fuck feyre than bc he actually thinks they should apologize or get along with their neighbors. i swear im almost done but, unlike reader, we get an inside of azriel's mind and it's in absolute shambles. he just had something really traumatic happen to him 1 or 2 years ago and is still having a lot of trouble dealing with it, he had that dream of being a tattoo artist which he might have to give up on because of it. literally has to wear gloves and gets scared when someone grabs him from what is probably ptsd. so i dont know, i feel like he's allowed to have bad days and it's not like he's actually bullying her or anything, it's mostly a coupe of unpleasant conversations but they go both ways.

to finish, everyone in this story is doing things wrong in my opinion. aside from the initial moving and party thing which was pettiness all around. reader is probably the one less in the wrong but she also has a grudge against azriel based on first impression (which is the same one he has one her). azriel should have just moved the damn bike and shouldn't have been annoying when she got locked out either but he has no obligation to be her friend. rhys shouldn't have talked to azriel like that, yea az should apologize but he doesn't have to be friends w reader and feyre just because rhys wants to get in her pants. feyre is kind of doing the same thing with reader, she knows reader doesn't like rhys so she should have told her she liked him, that scene of her avoiding her gaze at the picnic.. come on. feyre also didnt tell reader that az was going to be at the picnic which again reader is not obliged or should be forced to hang out with someone she's uncomfortable with. and even cass isn't being at best in my opinion, he also didnt tell az reader would be at the picnic (or reader that az would) or that he'd be going to do whatever their plans were and (maybe im being a little petty for this) but going out of his way to be friends with fey and reader is fine for the story but if my bestfriend went to try to be friends with someone they know i dont like i'd be hurt and confused, with everyone in the world you seek out the person you know your friend doesn't like? it's a weird thing to do. i get the vibe that he didnt even consider this but considering your friends feelings i something you definitely should be doing.

also correct me if i'm wrong but i didn't think azriel was playing music loudly to annoy reader, i read it as he plays music loudly to drown out his thoughts and when he's drawing or whatever. which is still not a great thing to do when you know you have neighbors and he should invest in some noise cancelling headphones but it's not him being intentionally malicious.

I think the great thing about this is that we can look at it in so many different ways that more than one person can be correct about how they perceive what’s going on. Everyone is young and still learning how to navigate these relationships, and yeah, certain people might be approaching it all from the sense where they’re like, i want to date this person, of course i need to get along with their friends and i want them to get along with mine because i don’t want to sacrifice those relationships. Which is understandable as it is fucked up. Lust can be a bitch sometimes. 

There’s many ways that this could have all gone and who is going to say what or what they’re not going to say. I’ll say this, I’ve been in circumstances where once someone is in a new relationship i’ve seen and been treated like shit because of it. They’ll drop you, lie to you, do anything basically because they’re like head over heels for the new person they’re seeing. They’ll beg you to hang out with them even though you don’t care for them because they want you to be a part of what’s going on and they want you to get along with that person. And yeah, i’ve hung out with people i haven’t liked before for a friend because i’m her friend and i should want to support her. Even if I didn't like the person, it was later a mutual choice not to hang together because I didn't care for him. It sucks sometimes, but it for sure happens. 

Azriel has a lot of things going on in his head for him, the music does help him drown them out, but there have been some times where she’s pounded on the wall for him to be quiet and he’s made the music louder, so there’s a bit of both going on, but we can’t blame reader because she has no idea what’s going on in his life, nor does Az know what’s going on in hers. They’re just two people who had run into each other under the wrong circumstances, because initially we saw the reader think that he was a good looking guy, but his actions turned her off from him.

Yeah, everyone’s being a bit of a dick right now in their own ways and I'm sorry if that has upset you in any way. I thank you for bringing up your feelings as well because the different perspectives and how people are reacting to my work is very helpful to me, so thank you for sharing your thoughts! 💙💙

[singsweetmelodies]

there are some thing in this list that are not even funny asking bc I think we all just agree, there’s not even arguments haha so I’ll have your thoughts on 29, 38 and 58 🙃🙃

hiiii friend :DD thank you so much for this ask 💕 and yessss, i completely agree, actually. even just when i was doing a quick read-through of the list before reblogging it this morning, i was like, "oohhh, some of these are just so easy and so perfect for piarles 🫶" so let's get right into them!

29. Who is more likely to jump in an elevator? Who freaks out?

LMAOOOO, oh, i love that question. and i do feel like there's a very obvious answer - charles, clearly. i mean, this is the guy who fully once ran away from a tiny, tiny monkey 😭 but then again... pierre can be such a dumbass babygirl too. i feel like he'd be the one who pretends to have it totally together, "no i'm not scared at all," but in reality, the opposite is true. so put these idiots in a lift together, and they'd BOTH just be completely freaking out - charles probably more externally, and pierre internally. (i also like this idea, because it kiiind of lines up with the canon we know that neither of them are actually entirely comfortable/happy with flying, despite doing it very often for their jobs. let's assume lifts are the same story.) anyways pierre would probably suggest snogging as a distraction. this would, as you can imagine, probably be very effective. 🤭

38. Who is more sexually experimental? Who's more vanilla?

*giggling behind hand* well, well, well. what a question. charles is blushing, i'm sure.

HA.

in my headcanon, charles is the slightly more experimental one between the two of them. he strikes me as the sort who would learn about a new thing and want to try it, at least once. (and as long as it's within reason/SSC etc etc.) with that said, though -- i do think they very much bring out the worst (or best, depending how you look at it) in each other. it's that whole thing about the complete trust in each other and feeling of safety when they're with each other. since that trust is there, i feel like they'd both be willing to a) communicate very frankly about what they're interested in and b) try things out together. it'd probably be an awkward conversation the first few times, but eventually it would become a lot more like "i think this would be hot, do you want to--" "YEAH." xD

as for the "who's more vanilla" part of the question... well. i cannot in full honesty answer with either of them, because to me, they're both kinky little fucks. i mean, come on. look at me with a straight face and tell me that pierre likes it more vanilla than charles. please. this is the man who pUbLicLy said his favourite sex position is doggy style. (oh, and what an insane day that was.) ANYWAY. you can't convince me that charles is entirely vanilla either, because oh my god... the way he holds his own hands above his head sometimes (see: his winter training vlog)... he is just begging to be held down. truly.

(so yeah, my answer is: they're BOTH kinky freaks. and, as ever, i love them for it and think they're very sexy for it, actually 😌)

58. Who’s more likely to hold a grudge after an argument?

welllll... there's only one real answer to this one, isn't there? 🤭 pierre, my beloved little bitch. of course it's him. my proof? ESTEBAN. (yes, yes, they have the "french connection" now - suspiciously fruity, that, but anyway - never forget the infamous cannes photo cropping incident. ahhh, the bitchiness. spectacular.) the point is, i think it's pretty clear that pierre can most definitely hold a grudge for a very, very long time, and be petty as all fuck about it. HOWEVER. i do think charles is, as in many other ways, an exception for him. my proof for this? styria 2021. oh, man. i could talk about styria 2021 for such a long time, but the most important part is: charles crashed into pierre. pierre was, understandably, angry. pierre could have held a grudge and let their friendship fall apart because of it (à la pierresteban) but he didn't. he listened to charles, and forgave him afterwards. there are probably not a lot of people he would've done that for, but he did it for charles, and and and --

i'm getting completely distracted, but. STYRIA 2021. god. to try and focus again, though: yes, i do believe that pierre would be the more likely to hold a grudge after an argument. again, though, he would probably forgive charles pretty quickly as soon as charles apologised. also? i don't think arguing is something they do, very often - or, at least, not seriously. playfully, sure. but actual, antagonistic arguments, or full-blown fights? pierre and charles have both said in interviews that they almost never fight, so. cheers to that! 🥂

(obligatory otp asks)

[lawboyao3]

I’m loving your series “Acne, Death, and Other Teen Calamities” so much so that I came here to tell you how much I’m enjoying it so far. Your writing is so eloquent and descriptive, and I really appreciate how in-depth you go when analyzing and writing about Josuke and Okuyasu’s individual behaviors and struggles. I relate a lot to the way you’ve written them and I think it’s fascinating how accurately you’ve been able to portray aspects of trauma, dissociation, and self-destruction (unfortunately I myself a victim to all of the above, but it’s neither here nor there.) Anyways, you provide fantastic representation to these issues and I’m so happy to finally have a piece of media that I can relate to so well; a piece of media that truly encompasses how complex the process of coming to terms with trauma is. I’ve been where Josuke and Okuyasu have been and all I wanna do is give both of them a big ol’ hug.

Please take your time when writing this story and don’t burn yourself out. You’re doing wonderful, thank you for investing so much of your time into this. I’m excited for the next chapter but again, take as much time as you need.

(Also this might be an issue of my reading comprehension, and not at all an issue with your writing but if it’s not too much to ask I think myself and others would appreciate a chapter summary and a brief description of what happened throughout each chapter just to be sure we’re following this wonderful story accurately :) )

aw thank u so much this is so kind <333333 i’m really glad you’ve been enjoying it so much. i worry abt writing the characters well so im really glad u think theyre good. thank u so much for reading and supporting me, ill do my best with the rest of the story

with the chapter summary, u mean posting one on here right? i can try do that. ill put it below the cut in case it’s long

ch1- okuyasu and josuke are both sent to the counselor. for okuyasu it’s bc he attacked his teacher after she picked on him for doing badly in class. for josuke it’s just some very petty things, seeming like his teacher has a grudge against him. in okuyasu’s meeting, youko thinks he’s just a typical delinquent but then realises she’s misjudging him. in josuke’s meeting, some issues such as his grandpa’s death and his family relations are touched on, but youko ends up thinking he’s totally fine. there’s also a flashback showing that josuke has feelings for okuyasu that he doesn’t want to acknowledge.

ch2- the school is evacuated due to an explosion. okuyasu and josuke are found to be missing. this is the day shigechi is killed. they searched for him and then left the school to report to jotaro. when they return, a teacher accuses them of being behind the explosion. youko steps in and stops the boys from getting in trouble. shigechi is reported missing and the boys are having trouble coping with it. youko has another meeting with okuyasu, where she offers to help him improve his grades. she asks about his home life and becomes worried about what he tells her. okuyasu is given tests to do at home to check his knowledge levels.

ch3- josuke meets with youko. he was reported for not paying attention in class. a flashback shows that he’s struggling due to trauma, and he started dissociating in class. he doesn’t tell youko anything. youko asks a little about his family, and then realises she’s heard of him before in negative gossip that spread about him and his mother. she wonders if she would still think of him the same if she’d recognised him from the start. youko’s questions get under josuke’s skin and his act slips, but she doesnt question him on it bc she doesnt think he’s a liar. in the next scene okuyasu goes home and tries to complete his tests, and becomes very anxious. youko marks his tests the next day, and another teacher discourages her from helping okuyasu because he needs too much support. youko goes over okuyasu’s test results with him, and nearly leaves him to just study on his own, but decides to try and help him even if the other teachers won’t help too.

ch4- starts directly after the end of the sheer heart attack arc. as everyone heads home from aya’s salon, josuke struggles to cope with what he’s just experienced and starts dissociating. when he gets home he has a breakdown, there is some discussion of his guilt and sense of responsibility to protect everyone. okuyasu goes home and is feeling badly too, but pushes it aside to look after his father. even tho he’s kind to his dad, he’s still scared of him. josuke visits okuyasu in the middle of the night, seeking comfort, and they fall asleep together. okuyasu has a nightmare/childhood memory about his dad, and wakes up to josuke comforting him. he misreads the atmosphere and kisses josuke, and josuke panics, says they should forget it ever happened, and leaves. the next morning, tomoko helps josuke do his hair and tries to ask if he’s ok, but he doesn’t confide in her. then him, koichi and okuyasu head to school together, and when they pass aya’s salon, they’re all deeply upset. josuke tries to push down his feelings.

ch5- youko finds okuyasu, who is skipping class and seems upset. she talks with him, and tries to ask him about his family, but okuyasu is worried about her reporting his living situation and refuses to talk to her. youko realises that something must be very wrong, but she can’t help. the next scene is actually set before the first one. another teacher talks to youko, concerned about how much she’s defending josuke. he tells her about how violent josuke was in middle school, and how he avoided getting in trouble by lying. youko gets angry at him and rejects what he’s saying. meanwhile josuke is skipping class due to bad mental health. koichi and okuyasu have been searching for him, worried something bad has happened, and koichi finds him. josuke acts fine as usual. after school, he goes to meet with youko. she feels that he’s acting off and starts to doubt him. when she confronts him, he gets angry but manages to keep it down until he leaves the meeting. he starts losing his shit in front of okuyasu, but okuyasu calms him down. later, youko tries to contact okuyasu’s household to find info about his living situation, but she can’t find anything. as she’s heading home, she worries that she won’t be able to help the boys anymore. then she gets shot with the stand arrow and passes out