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notiddygothgf · 1 year ago

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★ pairings: choso kamo x f!reader

★ synopsis: Yuuji Itadori truly was the best friend a girl like you could ask for, but he wasn't the only reason you came to visit. (His older brother, the devilishly handsome Choso Kamo, had always been the apple of your eye).

★ c.w.: slow burn, friends to lovers, eventual smut, childhood sweethearts, kinda, mutual pining, choso with a tongue piercing, rough sex, cunnilingus, backshots, unprotected sex, regular people au, two year age gap, PWP.

★ a/n: hi pookie dookies!! ive been wanting to write choso for a while!! this is a one shot I split into two chapters bc its like, 11k words.... but! if u guys request it, I might add more chapters!!! thank u for ur support as always, muah muah!! (btw if u like tokyo rev go check out my other shit teehee).

★ w.c.; 4.5k

best friend's brother ; chapter index

YUUJI ITADORI WAS truly the best friend a girl like you could ask for. The two of you were kind of like childhood friends, though you hadn’t been close for a good portion of it. You didn’t remember the exact day Itadori had invited you into his home – though you knew it was some time in elementary school. The two of you had been practically inseparable ever since.

There was one thing about the pinkette’s home life in particular that seemed to catch your young eye.

His older brother, Choso.

He was two years your senior – dark hair, dark eyes, he looked nothing like his brother. He had this scar over the bridge of his nose from an accident that had happened when he was younger. He was an elusive figure, something of a mystery to your young mind – he was always there, but never there.

He was content to dwell in the background like some sort of side character.

The first time you’d ever met him had been at one of Itadori’s baseball games. He’d invited you to show up – and at this point you had to have been no older than 8 or 9 – and show out for him. And show out you sure did.

You had your mother do your hair up real nice in those cute little pigtails you used to love wearing. You had scribbled his jersey number onto a plain white tee the night before, donning some hot pink leggings beneath.

And you screamed for Itadori, cheered as loud as your little lungs would allow you to. He won, of course, but that’s not the point here. You’d gone up to him after the game, wrapping your short arms around his frame – and at the time he was no larger than you were – and telling him he’d done great. Itadori grinned at you, faint blush dusting his cheeks, and thanked you. His smile was a thousand suns in one.

A hand on his shoulder had shaken the two of you out of the moment. A bigger hand.

It was his 11-year-old adoptive brother, Choso Kamo. An angel of the darkness, as corny as that sounds, but in that moment you swore the gates of heaven resided in those dark eyes of his. He stood out against the bright backdrop of the September afternoon. The sunlight filtered through his short black hair, reflected off of his pale skin, shooting rays right into your stomach and sending a horde of butterflies fluttering.

“This your girlfriend, Yuuji?” He commented with a half-grin.

You remember turning red at his comment, waving your arms around wildly. You remember the way his eyes creased as he laughed at you, one of the few times you recall seeing him laugh.

So what if you had heart eyes for your best friend’s older brother? It was harmless, just a little crush you had formed on the guy you felt had stolen your heart away. Harmless.

At least, it was until the two of you grew older. You started junior high, you started puberty , and as your body changed, so did his. So did your feelings, morphing from a butterfly crush to something more akin to desire as you began to see him in a different light.

He lost the baby fat around his face. His eyes had darkened, shoulders broadening. His hair got longer, falling into his boyish, scarred face in a way that rendered you entirely breathless.

He was becoming a man.

You were 13 and 15 now, stealing sneaky glances at him whenever he would pass by his brother’s room. Yuji, who had just been boasting about how he was starting to get taller than you, would pay it no mind.

It was just a crush. He was two years your senior, after all. You had no chance.

You were 13 when he would poke fun at you and his brother. He was 15 when he would laugh at the way your face would go red. He didn’t know that it wasn’t his brother you wanted.

14 and 16 when you first began to notice the subtle slope of his shoulders become more pronounced, more defined. When you began to notice the way his muscles would strain against the sleeves of his tee shirt.

He had always been a large guy, having hit quite a few growth spurts along the way. He had to have been about 5’10 at that point, practically towering over you. But lately, you thought he must have been hitting the gym. He would walk past Yuji’s open door – and in their house it was a family policy to leave the door open when you came over, even if Yuji was only a brother to you – with gym gear on. He would come back with sweat-slicked hair plastered to his forehead, chest rising and falling steadily.

Something about that made your hormones go wild for him. Inappropriate thoughts began to chew away at you from the inside, images of what he could do to you with such strength, even if you weren’t too certain what ‘doing’ even entailed at that time. The scent of his pheromones, something like that – or maybe it was the way his gym clothes hugged his body while he marched towards the bathroom to take a shower – it made you feral for him.

He was so much bigger than you now. It made your head spin with feelings you didn’t quite understand. It was just a crush… so why did you stay awake at night imagining him panting over you, sweat trickling down his bare chest? The way his muscles might ripple under your hesitant, inexperienced touch? The warmth that would bloom over your face when you imagined his lips on yours – this man who you had never gotten close to.

A man who you remembered having a late night conversation with in the kitchen while Yuuji slept right down the hall one night.

He was ransacking the cabinet for snacks when you found him. He relaxed once he’d noticed it was you, the two of you eventually falling into sugar-fueled conversation after he cracked open a pack of double-stuff oreos. A conversation about the taboo , about the things you had been told to keep quiet.

“You don’t have to be all flustered ‘round me, y’know,” He had told you rather softly. The two of you were separated by the kitchen island, but it felt like he was way to close to you. “You can ask me anything you’re curious about.”

“I’m not curious!” You had whisper-shouted back with a roll of your eyes. “I don’t want to know about your sex life, you whore.”

“You just asked me what it felt like, liar,” He noted, quirking a brow at your outward reaction. He loved to get under your skin. Lived for it. “And for the record, I’m not a whore. Most of the times I’ve been touched have been with my own hand.”

“I’ve never tried… that, ” You mused quietly, head low. Your face burned with the heat of your admission.

He popped an oreo into his mouth, dusting his hands off carelessly. “What, masturbating?”

Your heart did a weak somersault. “Quiet!” You hissed at him. “Now what if Yuuji heard you talking to me like that?”

“Calm your shit,” he told you. “You’re too young f’me. Relax.”

He only chuckled at your words, shaking his head quietly while he resealed the oreos. Still, if he was thinking anything about your reaction, he didn’t voice it. You were glad.

But it hurt. It hurt, hearing him talk about you like you didn’t have a chance. Like none of the effort you put into your appearance around him had any effect on him because you were too young to steal his attention away. None of it mattered – the push up bras, the low cut tanks, the cherry lip balm.

In his eyes, you were only a kid.

“I’m a virgin,” you had blurted out, for some odd reason you still didn’t quite understand.

The pause that befell the two of you was one that you remembered years later.

“I can tell,” He had said, slim waist swinging side to side as he walked around the kitchen island, towards the exit behind you. He sauntered over to you with a smirk on his face and a plate in his hand, dark hair pulled back into a bun while his layers fell around his face. He was breathtaking, handsome, tantalizing build towering over you.

16, A man whose voice had dropped again in the last few months whispered those words, the ones you would never forget, “‘S fun. You should try it.”

You didn’t know what he had wanted you to try – having sex or performing it on yourself.

Either way, that night when you went home was the first time you ever tried to touch yourself. Fantasized about him whispering in your ear, holding you down, talking you through – while your pink-manicured fingers worked you up to your first orgasm.

Two years had never felt so far apart.

Choso had a girlfriend at one point. It was only for, like, four months – he was 17, you were 15. You only found this out when he’d come home after a pretty rough night with her. He looked pissed, lips pressed into a thin line, arms crossed over his broad chest.

You knew he was too old for you, that you weren’t old enough for him, more specifically – but, still, you batted those lashes of yours up at him while you asked him what was wrong.

You didn’t tell him about the way butterflies erupted in your stomach like a hundred angry guisers when he told you his girlfriend had cheated, left him for another man.

You hugged him instead, telling him that it would be alright, telling him that she never deserved him anyway. You were the one for him, and one day he would see that.

Instead of turning to you – who had been right there all along, he had just been too blind to notice – he took his anger out on everyone else. He became cold, emotionally closed off. He became a serial heartbreaker.

For a while, whenever you came over to Yuuji’s, his bedroom would be vacant. Open, dark, just as he had left it. For a while, he would spend his nights with faceless hookups and meaningless dates. Itadori would call you to complain about it, about how “we’re home alone for dinner tonight and Choso just walked out”.

Your heart broke, too. He just didn’t know it.

He didn’t know you were waiting for him to come to his senses, for him to see you as a woman .

You were seated in the kitchen across from Itadori enjoying another late-night snack, sharing some hearty laughter. You had always adored your conversations with him, the ‘After-Hours’ talks, as you would often refer to them.

Your night had taken an unexpected turn when Itadori’s brother burst through the kitchen door with a giggling girl in tow. The late hour suggested that this was no ordinary visit.

Still, even though you couldn’t pry your eyes away from her, you didn’t say anything. You stayed quiet while your heart shattered into one hundred million pieces inside of your tight chest.

Itadori’s laughter had died down, giving way to an awkward silence. He greeted his brother with a smile, “Hey, bro. Who’s she?”

Choso shrugged, dark hair shifting over his eyes that seemed to glint beneath the dim lighting as he replied, “Company.”

His mischievous tone and the girl at his side left little to the imagination. Your cheeks flushed as you exchanged another quick glance with Itadori.

You felt frozen in place. You couldn’t move. No, all you could do was sit there like a dumbass and stare at him, watch the man you loved liked guide her by her hand up the stairs.

Of course. You had been naive to think that he would wait for you. He would be 18 next year.

He was out of your league.

Feeling the need for a momentary escape, you had excused yourself, muttering something about needing to use the bathroom. You had stood up, heart racing, and made your way up the stairs and towards the bathroom.

Conveniently, of course, it was located just down the hall from Choso’s room.

You crept down the hall slowly. As you passed by his door, you caught a sound. Something unmistakable – two people in hushed conversation uttering words in between kisses.

“Choso, baby.”

Another quiet kiss. Their lips separated.

“I’m ready.”

“You brought protection?”

Your embarrassment grew as you realized the intimate nature of the encounter happening on the other side of the door. Quickly, you averted your gaze, face burning, and ran off to the bathroom.

It took you a moment to catch your breath. You couldn’t believe the awkwardness of the whole situation. Shit, you didn’t even know how to approach him after this.

Worst of all, you didn’t even know why you were still only able to imagine it was your voice behind that door instead of hers. That it was him pressing butterfly kisses to your lips. Him asking you if you were ready for him.

With your cheeks tinged a rosey hue, you resolved to keep yourself locked away in the bathroom until the thoughts subsided.

It seemed like it was a new girl every time you came to visit. A blonde, a brunette – he didn’t seem to have a preference. Every time you would watch him walk another girl to the front door, bidding her safe travels on her way home, your hope would wither away.

But the feelings never subsided. No, even when you would spend a little more time walking past his room on your way to the bathroom to eavesdrop. Not even when you would hear hushed whispers and quiet moans from the other side and imagine what kind of lover Choso would be. Would he leave marks? Talk dirty to you? Was he a giver or a taker?

Not even when the two of you would cross paths in the kitchen after his plans for the evening went home. He would turn to you with a knowing smirk, hair down and messy even though it did nothing to hide the red and purple love bites that littered the valley of his neck.

And he looked so good that you often found yourself wishing it was you who had left those marks.

It was as if he knew you were dying inside. Like something was beginning to change inside of him after all of these years. Like he took some strangely cruel pleasure in showing off to you.

No, you would have to remind yourself in vain. I’m too young for him.

You were just a girl in his eyes. That’s what you maintained.

So you went out and retaliated by losing your V-card to some kid from your class. Well, in your head it was retaliation. He was none the wiser about it, but it gave you a sense of satisfaction knowing you were able to fuck people who weren’t him.

Take that, Choso.

Yuji groaned, laying spread eagle over his carpeted floor, arms spread out on either side of him. He had grown so much – you could hardly contain the way your eyes wandered from his pretty face to his new physique. Like his brother, Itadori was a well-defined man.

God picked favorites, and it wasn’t you.

There was an open notebook splayed over his face. He gripped the spine, tossing it to the side.

“I’m over this chemistry shit,” He sighed.

You couldn’t possibly have agreed more. Still, you continued to sketch the rough outline of a circle onto the sheet of construction paper in your hand. You would need to make it perfect, just right, so that you would be able to incorporate it into your group project.

You turned the pencil over between your fingertips. “We’re gonna need more supplies.”

"Like what?" Yuuji asked, his frustration still evident. "I’m pretty sure we’ve purchased, like… every craft supply on the market."

You quirked a brow at the thought. "Scissors…?"

Yuuji pursed his lips, his brow furrowing. "I don’t have those."

"Of course you don’t," you sighed, shaking your head. "Who the hell doesn’t have scissors?"

"I lent them to Choso," he retorted with a hint of annoyance.

Your heart dropped at the mention of Choso. You couldn't help but picture his face, his body, and wondered if he was asleep. You didn't want to disturb him.

Yuuji sat up, nudging you with his foot playfully. "Hey, why don't you go over there and get them? Make some goo-goo eyes, bat your lashes. I’m sure he wouldn’t say no to you."

You hesitated for a moment, considering your options. "I'm sure I can find some in my backpack," you said instead, trying to avoid the suggestion.

"Come onnnn, you know you wanna go over there," Yuuji teased with a sly grin. He leaned in closer, cupping his hand around his mouth, and whispered, " He just got back from the gym. "

Another nudge from Yuuji finally made you relent. "Fine," you said with a playful roll of your eyes. "I’ll be back."

Only moments later, you found yourself standing in front of Choso's door, a mix of anticipation and nervousness coursing through you as you raised your hand up to knock. You rapped twice against the wooden surface. There was a shuffling sound on the other side of the world, one that made your heartrate pick up, and then the door cracked open.

He had one earbud in his ear, the other dangling over his chest. He wore a black wife pleaser and some grey sweats that hung loose over his hips – leaving little to the imagination. He looked so strong, muscular arm braced against the doorframe while the other held it open. His waist was thin, toned, so much so that you could see it through the fabric of his shirt.

He smelled like he had just hopped out of the shower – like cherry and musk. His wet hair was done back into a messy bun. His eyes raked over your trembling form.

With a gentle, familiar grin, he said, “What’s up?”

Your throat felt dry. You swallowed anyway, with a great deal of discomfort, averting your wide-eyed gaze. Ignoring the way your eyes lingered over the pale skin of his toned navel revealed where his tank had ridden up, over the v line that dipped down into his waistband, over the neatly trimmed trail that led down south .

“Do… Do you have scissors?” You asked him. You didn’t like how timid you sounded, or the way your stomach churned at the sight of him.

He paused for a moment, and somehow you knew he was looking at you. You were suddenly very glad you had worn a fitted v-neck tee shirt today, one that would have provided him with a bird’s eye view of your cleavage.

He’s looking at me.

“Yeah,” he muttered quietly, stepping away from the door and into his room. You had only wandered into Choso’s quarters a few times with Yuuji, usually to steal something from him while he wasn’t home. You had never really taken the time to notice the band posters taped up over his walls, the black sheets on his bed, the clothes scattered over his floor in typical teenage boy fashion.

You poked your head in, taking a quick look around while his muscular back was turned. Ultimately, it was him you wound up gawking at, hungry eyes following the well-defined curve of his back into his slim waist, the curve of his bubble butt.

You looked away just as he had turned around. If he noticed you staring, he didn’t say anything. A red pair of scissors dangled from his curled finger.

“Here,” was all he said, offering the tool to you.

You didn’t know when conversations between the two of you had gotten to be so tense, so strained. It used to come effortlessly. These days, however, it seemed as if you were always trying to run away from conversation with him.

You took it from him gently, dying a bit more inside when his large fingers brushed against yours, offering a slight nod in return. “Thanks.”

16 and 18, now.

You had texted Choso asking for his help on a particularly difficult math assignment. He was older, after all, you didn’t doubt that he was better equipped to complete the homework than you were.

That was the first time you had ever hung out alone with him. Without Itadori.

You would never forget the way the atmosphere changed when he sat close to you at the kitchen table. The way your skin prickled with electricity beneath his hesitant touch. He poked fun at you and your incompetence. You didn’t even care, not when he was sitting so close to you.

Alone.

The possibilities that filled your mind were less than holy.

Tensions were at an all time high. He had leaned over to help you, breath ghosting over the shell of your ear, when it finally snapped.

When you met his gaze with uncertainty in your eyes, making no real effort to put any distance between you and the man you had been pining after for so many years. In that moment, you saw it – saw him, saw that he finally looked at you as something more than just a girl.

Saw the way his gaze softened as he leaned into you. You let him get closer, close enough that his nose brushed against the tip of yours.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” You remarked, even though you ached to be trapped in this moment with him a while longer.

He licked his lips, murmuring, “You’re probably right.”

Nothing compared to the delicate brush of his lips against yours as the two of you finally met in the middle, The way fireworks blew up in your gut. The way he cradled your cheek gently in the palm of his hand, crossing that unspoken boundary that the two of you had been toeing for so long.

Though you had made out with a few guys before, in your eyes, you had shared your first kiss with Choso in the kitchen that night. The first of many to come .

The summer between 16 and 17 was spent sharing secret moments with him behind doors, between appearances.

You sat on the couch next to Itadori, trapped in the second installment of a film series the two of you had been watching yesterday. You were wearing a zip-up hoodie over your school uniform.

You had come over to do homework. Just like yesterday, though, you wound up fucking around.

Itadori was far too engrossed in whatever was happening on screen to notice his brother leaving the kitchen just a few feet off to the side. He looked you up and down, dark eyes reaching into your soul and picking you apart at the seams. With a barely noticeable motion, he nodded towards the stairs.

You nodded back, heart thrumming wildly in your chest.

Choso gripped the meat of your ass in his hands, throwing your legs around his waist while his mouth danced against yours. You tossed your arms around his shoulders, head reeling from how effortlessly he had picked you up. He walked the two of you backwards until your back hit the door.

He continued to ravage you against that surface, too, tongue slipping in between your lips and exploring your mouth. You trembled against him, trying your best to keep up with him.

It felt so good – being pressed up against him, being given his attention. You wished it was more than secret kisses here and there, of course, but you would take what you could get.

“Missed you,” he hummed against your lips.

You didn’t even care if that was the line he used on all of the other girls. In that moment, all that mattered was his lips against yours, his hands on you, his attention.

You snaked your hands up the back of his neck and into his hair, twisting some of the dark strands between your fingertips. “I should really get back soon,” You gasped, relishing in the way his kisses felt up and down your neck.

He relented, letting you down. You pressed one more chaste kiss to his lips.

“Didn’t mean to keep ‘ya,” he chuckled lowly, breaths still heavy from the makeout session you had been having only seconds before. He nodded towards the door behind you. “Get back out there.”

You nodded wordlessly, opening the door. With one final smile, you slipped behind it. You felt like you were floating as your legs carried you down the stairs and into the living room. You didn’t even care how disheveled you looked.

Thankfully, Yuuji didn’t notice the way you were wiping your mouth on the back of your hand as you plopped onto the couch beside him. He also didn’t notice when his brother wandered down the stairs a few minutes later, or the way he smiled knowingly at you before disappearing into the kitchen.

You were 17 when Choso left for college. He was 19 when his brother had thrown him a going-away party.

There were 10 of you in the living room, a few of Yuuji and his childhood friends all gathered around the coffee table. A movie was on. Some of them were engrossed in a card game in the corner of the room.

You and Choso lingered behind the group, situated comfortably on the couch behind all of the action. He was sitting so close that your thighs brushed against his, so close that it felt like he, too, wanted to savor the moment before interacting with you became a rarity. Before he moved out and started a new life somewhere hours away.

He didn’t voice any of these feelings, keeping his dark eyes unreadable and steady on the movie that Yuji had put on in the background. Selena Gomez was playing from a speaker somewhere behind the couch.

You almost wanted to lean your head on his shoulder. Almost. Never mind the fact that everyone would see it.

You distinctly remember the way he shifted closer to you when you pulled out a blanket. You let him make the bold move, seemingly unfazed by the potential audience only feet away from the two of you.

He tossed the plush blanket over his legs. The lights were dim. Dim enough that they wouldn’t see the way your face flushed at the proximity.

Sixteen minutes passed. You felt like you were going to explode.

Somewhere along the way, though it’s all a bit fuzzy now, you remember feeling his hand creep down beneath the blanket to rest on your thigh. You fought to remain composed, even though the darkness undoubtedly shrouded whatever it was that Choso was planning to do.

He lingered over the skin on your thighs left bare by the shorts you had chosen to wear. His finger traced over you, igniting fire in your nerves. Again, you said nothing, letting him go about tracing shapes on your thigh while his face remained stoic and composed.

You glanced between him and the blanket. You couldn’t see the imprint of his hand moving, somehow, but you could practically feel the heat radiating from beneath it when his index finger slipped between your thighs.

19 years old. Two years had never seemed so far apart. When he was the age you were now, you recalled his voice being quite a few pitches higher. The same voice that had dropped even lower over the last year, now drawing you closer to him as he murmured into your ear, “Can I touch you?”

Parting your legs infinitesimally, you wordlessly granted him entrance. His fingers dipped down, ghosting over your cotton panties in a way that had you wondering how well of a disguise the dim lighting really was.

“What if they see us?” You had whispered back, even quieter. None of them had bothered to turn back. Even still, you wondered if one of them had X-Ray vision.

His voice seemed even deeper as it vibrated against your side. “You’ll be quiet for me, won’t you?”

The moment his fingers dipped beneath the waistband of your panties, you knew you were in no position to disagree.

Yuuji and his friends were none the more wiser. Yuji didn’t notice when you whined quietly, letting him slip two fingers into your aching cunt, or when his brother worked you open on his fingers.

He didn’t notice when the two of you had left to make out heatedly in the pantry, right against the box of assorted chips, right where anyone could walk in, turn on the light, and see you there pressed up against him disappeared to the pantry for ten minutes.

Though the moment you returned to see him glancing at you with a curious brow raised, you knew he had finally caught on. Even if he didn’t say anything about it.

It would be another three months before you would see Choso again.

I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

taglist: @missphanosaur18 ,

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#notiddygxthgf ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚#choso kamo #kamo choso #choso #choso jjk #choso x reader #choso kamo xreader #choso kamo x you #choso x you #chousou #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #yuuji itadori #itadori x reader #geto x reader #gojo x reader #choso smut #choso fluff

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starrihan · 11 days ago

Text

100 Percent (Jay Fic)

-> Pairing: Jay x afab! Reader

-> Plot: You work at a bar and you frequently see this customer you have developed a crush on and decide to ask him for a generous tip

-> Genre: smut, business man! Jay x bar tender! Reader, dom! Jay, sub! Reader, fingering, oral (f. receiving), piv sex, no protection (wrap it up), alcohol and drinking,

-> Ft. Natty from Kiss of Life, Huening Kai from TXT, all the enha boys minus Sunoo and Niki

-> Warnings: none

-> Word Count: 6,800

-> Notes: not proofread! I was having a bit of trouble ending the fic so if it seems rushed or bad its cuz I couldn't figure out how to end it

༄ ༄ ༄

Tonight was just another average night for you. You had a closing shift at the bar, which you preferred over the morning shift. Seeing the time close in on 5:30 p.m, you opted to grab a snack before touching up your makeup and fixing your shirt, making sure your cleavage was slightly exposed– the best way to earn tips from sleazy men.

The bar was within walking distance, only being about a 5 minute walk away. You liked this job, it provided good money. Although it wasn’t the most conventional, it was pretty easy for the most part, and the tips were an added bonus. You had a few regulars, ones that you could rely on to make good money.

After flunking out of college, you didn’t really have many options on what to do for work. You didn’t want to go back home, your parents would just give you a hard time. You didn’t want to go back to school, you flunked out for a reason. So you settled for this.

You slipped out of your small apartment, grabbing a coffee from a nearby cafe before making your way to the bar. You clock in and start your shift.

“Y/N!! I’m so glad you’re here! This shift has been rough,”

Your co-worker, Natty, sighed.

“First, a drunk guy spilled his drink all over me and I couldn’t even change because it was busy. It was at 3 pm and it’s Saturday! Then, like an hour later these guys started fighting over a tab. Kai had to help me break them up and they both paid but neither of them left a tip.”

“Damn, that’s brutal. At least you get to leave now right?” You try to ease her pain a little. She just looks at you and sighs again, wiping down the table before going to clock out.

Saturdays were the busiest days at the bar. You were thankful that your other co-worker, Kai, was working with you tonight. You could always rely on him to break up fights and keep customers at bay. Even though his looks were youthful, he was big and buff, which often intimidated the obnoxious drunk men that would hit on you or give you a hard time.

Mentally preparing yourself for the shift, it started off calm. There was always a slow period between 5-7 o’clock, as most people were out eating dinner or deemed it too early to start drinking. It was after that time that the flow of customers increased. You were steady making drinks for your customers, engaging in some small talk here and there, making sure to flirt a little.

It was a little closer to 9 pm when you saw 4 men walk in. You didn’t think much of it until they took the 4 seats right in front of you. All 4 of them were handsome, but the one in the middle caught your eye. His hair was slicked back, two pieces falling at the side of his face. They were all dressed pretty formally, they had probably just come after an event. You didn’t think much of it.

“What can I get started for you handsome boys?”

The tallest guy with red hair spoke up,

“Can we get 4 whiskey sours please?”

“4 whiskey sours, got it”

You said, getting started on the drinks and opening a tab for them. You looked up from making the first two for a moment, noticing that the one you were eyeing before was looking at you. He gave you a quick smile. You finish making the drinks and set them all in front of the men. The one with longer black hair giving you a quick ‘thank you.’ He had a cute accent.

One by one, they ordered more drinks. The red haired one and the one with the accent were red in the face, indicating that they were drunk. The other 2 guys seemed fine, the taller one was the quiet one amongst them, quietly sipping on his drinks and listening to the others' conversation.

“Excuse me, um…? I’m sorry, I don’t know your name but can I close out the tab?”

The guy with the slicked back hair asked, black card in hand.

“My name’s Y/N. And yes, I can close out your tab for you.”

You take his card, fingers brushing ever so slightly. You swipe it and give it back to him.

“Thank you, Jay”

You say, glancing at the name on the card. He chuckles before putting it away. The other guys patted his shoulders and gave him loud thanks for paying for their drinks tonight.

“You guys have all had something to drink tonight, do you need to call an uber or are you walking home?”

“Oh no, we have our friend coming to pick us up. We’re waiting for him.”

He glances down at the receipt, specifically the tip section.

“How much do you want as a tip?”

You were thrown off at the question, never having been asked that before. You didn’t want to come off rude or ungrateful. He looks up at you when you don’t respond after a few seconds.

“It's not a trick question. The bill came out to $73.”

You look at him, realizing he wasn't joking.

“$27? Make it an even $100?”

He laughs before writing it down on the receipt before handing it back to you.

“Be more confident in your answer next time. Have a good night.”

He shoots you a wink before walking out with his friends. You look down at the receipt and smile, blushing at his wink.

“Do we think he’s cute?”

Kai nudges your shoulder with his, joking around with you.

“He’s cute.”

Is all you say back to him. You hope you’ll see him there again.

༄ ༄ ༄

The next couple days go by like normal. Going out in the mornings, hanging out with friends and coming back to your apartment before 3 p.m to get ready for your shift.

The next time you see Jay was on another night shift on a Saturday. It had been two weeks since you last saw him. Normally, you wouldn’t remember people who you’d only seen once, but you couldn’t get him out of your head. He took a seat a little further away than where he had sat last time.

“Welcome back Jay. What can I get started for ya?”

He smiled at the fact that you remembered his name. He looked even better today. He was wearing formal clothes again, but this time a suit instead of a button up like last time. He was also by himself.

“Just an old fashioned please, thanks.”

You nod your head, making the drink in front of him. You hand it to him before imploring about his suit.

“Did you have a party or event tonight?”

“Just a work event. My friends and I all work at this company. The end of the year always has many events, awards ceremonies and such.”

“I see. You look good.”

You walk away from him, tending to another customer, but you don’t miss the smirk on his face as you walk off. For the rest of the night, Jay only orders drinks from you. It’s nearing 12 a.m again, when Jay calls you over to close his tab.

When you hand him back the receipt, you anticipate that he’ll ask you how much to tip again. But he doesn’t. Instead, he adds a 50% tip.

“Thank you for the drinks tonight Y/N. I hope you have a wonderful night.”

“You’re welcome. Have a good night Jay.”

He gives you another wink before leaving the bar. He only had about $12 worth of drinks. You wondered why he was in here by himself. Maybe he just wanted to be alone? You brushed it off, finishing your duties for the rest of night before heading home.

༄ ༄ ༄

Over the past few months, this became routine. Jay would come in almost every other week, mostly dressed up, so you knew he had come there from work. Other times he was just out with his friends for a casual Saturday night out. You got to know him and his friends a little better.

Heeseung, the one with red hair, who would try and crack jokes with you every now and then. Jake, the one with the accent, who would playfully flirt with you, but it was all good fun. And Sunghoon, the quiet one that would space out a lot. He didn't drink too much and would contribute to conversation here and there, but he was mostly there for his friends. And of course, Jay, who you learned was the head of the office that he worked at, his friends working alongside him. He was sweet and funny, making jokes and making his friends laugh. And he always paid for their drinks. He always tipped 50% no matter how big or small the bill was. He was also your favorite customer.

“Hey Y/N!”

You looked over and realized it was Jake that had called your name.

“Yes? Do you need a refill?”

“Haha, no. I was gonna ask if you could take a shot with us? Jay just got promoted, so we’re here to celebrate him tonight!”

You look over and see Jay looking away from you, a very faint blush and big smile on his face.

“Normally I’m not allowed to drink on the job, but I guess I can make an exception for tonight,”

You said, preparing 5 shot glasses. You turn to Jay,

“Pick your poison,”

Something about the way you had looked at him and agreed to take a shot to celebrate him had Jay feeling excited. The look you gave him going straight to his dick.

“Vodka”

You raise your eyebrows at him and pour the vodka into the shot glasses.

“This one’s on me,”

You say. The boys beside Jay cheered and clinked their glasses together, which you did as well. They all laughed while you took the glasses back, but Jay couldn’t stop staring at you. The way you sauntered off with the glasses had him captivated. You return to see him staring at you.

“Congratulations Jay. I’m sure you deserve the promotion you got,”

Was the last thing you said to him before walking off to someone else. He couldn’t tell if you were flirting with him or just being nice and he couldn’t tell if it was because you meant it or because it was part of your job.

“You should just go ask her out already. If you keep staring she’s gonna think you’re a creep,”

Sunghoon piped up after noticing that Jay didn’t take his eyes off of you.

“Mind your business Sunghoon,”

He spit back.

He couldn’t explain why seeing you talk to other men– paying customers who you had to service– would make him jealous. While you didn’t have to flirt with them, you wanted to make more tips. Plus, you were single, so to you, it didn’t matter if you had meaningless flirtations with people that had no significance to you. But to Jay, it was like you were cheating on him. He knew it was a stretch, he knew that you weren’t his to claim. But with the way you acted towards him, he couldn’t help but think that you wanted him like he wanted you.

Over the last few months, Jay’s friends had gotten to know about his little crush on you. They would always tease him when you would walk away and even on nights that they knew he was going to the bar. At first, it was a coincidence that you were bartending the nights he would come in. But soon, he would come just to see you. He hasn’t had a crush on someone in a while and forgot what it was like to have one. But he knew he had a crush on you, and he wanted to pursue it.

It was close to closing time and you had been called over by the boys again.

“Hey, Y/N! We’d like to close our tab please!”

It was Sunghoon that had called you over this time. You noticed that Jay had gotten up, probably going to the bathroom.

“Whose card is it on tonight? Surely you’re not gonna make Jay pay for it, right?”

“Of course not! This one’s on me!”

Jake said, handing you his card.

“This is what Jay would have tipped you,”

He remarks, doubling the bill.

“Normally I would think his usual 50% is too much but 100%? That’s crazy, I can’t accept that.”

“Please just take it. This is what he would have tipped if he was paying tonight, and he would kill me if he found out I was doing this for him but just take it.”

You didn’t want to fight him on it, the sentiment making you blush. You would have to thank him personally. But why would he tip you 100% instead of his usual 50%? You were about to ask when you noticed Jay coming back. You decided not to say anything now.

“Are you guys ready to go? Jungwon said he’s almost here!”

Jay said, wiping his wet hands on his clothes. The bathroom must have been out of napkins.

“Yeah, let's go!”

Heeseung got up, collecting all their belongings and putting on his jacket as it was getting cold out.

“Okay, you guys go ahead! I’ll pay and we can leave.”

“Don’t worry about it! I got it.”

Jake said, to which Jay looked surprised. He looked at his friends fondly, and smiled.

“Thank you.”

They all turned to you and wished you a goodnight, before filtering out of the bar. You waved them goodbye before noticing that one of them had left their wallet on the counter. You quickly grabbed it, opening it to see that it was Jay’s. You ran out of the bar, hoping that they hadn’t left yet. To your luck, you see them getting into a car down the street. You ran up to the car, slightly out of breath as it was down the road and across the street and there were a couple of cars driving by.

“Wait! You left this!”

You yell to Jay. He looks at you with concern before noticing his wallet in your hand. You hand it back to him, placing your hands on your knees to catch your breath. He helps hold you up.

“I appreciate you running out here to give me my wallet but it’s cold! Here!”

He swings his jacket over you which you grip, the cold only now setting in after the mini adrenaline rush was wearing off, causing you to shiver.

“It’s fine! I’m about to go back inside anyways, I don’t need your jacket”

“Then why are you gripping onto it like you do?”

He raised his eyebrow, tonguing his cheek before smirking at you. You glared at him before letting a small laugh slip out.

“I have enough jackets so you can have that one. Plus I’ll be back soon if you wanna give it back to me. But get back to the bar. You have to close, right?”

You nod and smile at him, saying your goodbyes before heading back to the bar. Unable to wipe the smile off your face, Natty notices and laughs.

“What, were you making out with him out there? What took you so long?”

She noticed the unfamiliar jacket adorning your shoulders.

“And you got his jacket too? He must be in love with you.”

You playfully smack her arm at her outlandish delusions.

“Oh please. I just went to return his wallet.”

“And flirt a little maybe? You know we have a lost and found here right , he could’ve come back tomorrow.”

“Well yeah but… wallets are important. He probably needs it…”

She laughs at you struggling to find an excuse.

“You have a crush on him, big deal. You know he likes you too right? Why else would he be staring at you and tipping you 50% and giving you a jacket to wear when you were only outside for 2 minutes?”

Everything she was saying to you made sense. You couldn’t help but feel a little tingle throughout your body, almost buzzing at the thought of Jay liking you back. You wouldn’t call what you felt for Jay a crush per se, but you did get giddy whenever he was coming in. You loved the way he’d stare at you and the jokes he would make. He always made you laugh. His subtle flirting would always get you a little riled up. And you couldn’t miss the little spark you’d feel whenever your hands would accidentally touch. Or the need you’d feel at the end of the night that you wouldn’t notice until after he left.

Maybe you did have a crush…

༄ ༄ ༄

It had been a couple of days since you last saw Jay, his jacket finding its place hooked up on the back of your chair. You always meant to take it down to the bar with you, but you always forgot. Today was no different, forgetting to take it with you before you slipped out of your apartment.

The cafe you usually went to was closed for the day because the owners were on vacation so you opted to go to another cafe. There was one in a business building nearby so you went to that one instead. You walk in and wait in line, giving your order like normal when you get up to the register.

“That’ll be $4.45”

“Alright, here you go,”

You say, handing the cashier the money. He puts it in the register and then stares at you for a moment.

“You look familiar… oh! You’re the girl that was giving Jay back his wallet at the bar! And the one he gave his jacket to that night!”

You smile at his bubbly personality.

“Oh right! You must be Jungwon then? I know you’re always the one that drives them back. They’re very thankful of you.”

“They better be, I have to be up early for class and work and still drive them around at 12 a.m when they’re drinking, especially now that they go so often. I’m picking them up tonight too.”

He says, rolling his eyes while you laugh at his sassy comments.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know them?”

“Oh you don’t know? They all work here, at Belift. Jay’s the COO while the rest are under him after he got the promotion. I work here at the cafe but they all come down so often I know them pretty well by now. I’m surprised he hasn’t told you about it yet.”

You were shocked to say the least. You didn’t know how successful Jay was, that he was almost CEO of a major company in your city. At such a young age too.

“We don’t really get to talk all that much since it gets busy around the time that they all come in. He did tell me about the promotion, I just didn’t know what it was for.”

You look behind you, a line having formed during your conversation.

“I should get going, I don’t wanna hold up the line. But it was nice to meet you Jungwon! And thank you again for the coffee!”

He says his goodbyes to you before you walk out the door and head to the bar. You smile to yourself at the thought of Jay being at the bar tonight. You walk into the bar and are greeted by both Kai and Natty.

“What are you both doing here?”

Usually, it’s only you and 1 other person at the bar. It was a smaller bar and while it did get popular on Saturdays, there weren't ever more people than 2 of you could handle.

“You didn’t hear? It’s the last weekend before finals, and the boss is running a special where drinks are half off for the whole night. The college students are gonna flood in here. It’s gonna be a full house tonight.”

Kai said to you, cleaning off the tables and getting new bottles prepped and ready for the incoming crowd.

“Boss said he needed all three of us here today since it was gonna be really busy. But that just means we’re gonna get more tips than ever from those college boys!”

Natty chimed up, excited about the extra money that will be made from tonight.

“Not to mention that we’re getting paid time and a half to be here today!”

You smile at them, helping them prepare for the night.

At first it’s slow. The bar opens at 5 p.m so you didn’t expect many people to be there for the first hour or two. Around 8 o’clock is when it started to get busy. And by 9 o’clock, you're slammed. There are more people than you’ve ever seen at the bar right now, even the three of you working quickly wasn’t enough.

“I’ve been waiting here for 20 minutes but you’re cute so I’ll let it slide.”

Your ears perk up at the voice flirting with you. You quickly finish your task before walking over to him.

“I’m so sorry to keep you waiting love, what is it that you would like?”

“Love? That's a new one. But I like it. And I’ll have my usual, pretty.”

You were so busy, it had totally slipped your mind that Jungwon had said he would be back tonight, indicating that Jay would be at the bar. Your shameless flirting had only progressed the more often you saw him. Flirting was basically in your job description, but you had never enjoyed flirting with any of your customers. Only Jay. You rung his usual, to which he gave you his card to open a tab as always. He was by himself today, which wasn’t odd, but he couldn’t get his eyes off of you. The flirting was definitely getting to him, making it harder for him to resist asking you out. You’d notice his stares burning into you, wanting him to do something about it. You felt hot under his gaze, most nights wishing he would just take you on the bar table.

You continue about your shift, relieved that it was finally slowing down close to midnight. You know that this was normally the time that Jay would leave so you were surprised when he continued to order more drinks.

“Don’t tell me that poor Jungwon is so tired from picking you up that you have no ride for tonight?”

He just laughed, sipping on his drink and pushing his hair back and out of his face.

“I appreciate your concern for him but no, he’s still gonna pick me up. I just don’t want to leave yet. Afraid I’ll miss you too much if I do.”

You’re leaning on the counter while talking to him. He can’t help the way his eyes flick down from your eyes to your chest, up to your lips and then back up to your eyes. You smirk, knowing that you’ve got his attention, but playing a little hard to get with your words.

“You flatter me Jay. Just don’t keep your little cafe worker running around too late. Poor boy probably has finals this week like the rest of these college kids do.”

You shoot him a wink before going off to attend to the other customers, though you wished you could talk to him for just a bit longer.

༄ ༄ ༄

Usually the bar closes at midnight, but because today was special, you were open till 2 a.m. Little by little, the patrons of the bar see themselves out, only a couple people left, including Jay.

“It’s closing time, love. I need to close your tab.”

With what's basically routine at this point, he hands you his card and smiles.

“What do you want as a tip tonight, love?”

He asks, using the same nickname you had used on him all night. You pretend to ponder before looking him in the eye. Remembering him telling you to be more confident the next time he asked you this question, you didn’t hesitate in your answer.”

“100 percent.”

He raises his eyebrows before cracking a half-sided smile.

“100% huh? For that kind of tip I would’ve expected more than having to wait 20 minutes between drinks.”

“Last time you were here when you got your promotion, Jake told me you would’ve tipped me 100% and gave me just that. Why is that?

He was taken aback and just looked at you like a deer in headlights. He was going to have to pummel Jake later for saying that. You really did want an answer, but before he could speak up, you beat him to it, basically confirming your feelings for him was the same as his feelings for you.

“100 percent. Your jacket is in my apartment. Maybe I’ll let you come up and grab it.”

You looked at him with the innocence of a bunny but the intonation of a siren. You knew you wanted him, and after his hesitation, you confirmed that he wanted you too. The way you said it, you weren’t inviting him to your apartment to grab his stupid jacket and he knew it too, licking his lips as he grabs a pen.

“My jacket you say? Consider it a trade.”

You can almost hear the need in his voice as he scribbles ‘100’ on the tip line.

“That's $100, not 100 percent? Your tab was only $30.”

“Oh really? Well, consider it as an extra tip, for letting me get my jacket back. I’ll be waiting for you outside.”

He grabs his card from your hand and walks out. Your heart is racing, realization dawning on you that you were actually about to have Jay over at your apartment. The idea of it was crazy but the wetness collecting between your legs at the thought of Jay taking you in your apartment was enough to make you forget how crazy it actually was. Quickly closing out the rest of the tabs and helping the other two clean up, you rush outside, seeing Jay standing by the front door.

“Someone’s eager to give me my jacket back.”

“Don’t make me change my mind.”

He laughs at your rebuttal, standing slightly behind you as you walk back to your apartment. The implications of what the next hour would hold made your panties slick with need, Jay’s pants seeming to tighten at the thought of finally getting to have you.

You arrive at your apartment door, making small conversation along the way. You unlock your door embarrassingly quickly, silently hoping Jay didn’t catch on to how needy you were just yet. You invite him inside, kicking off your shoes.

The atmosphere shifts a little, going from lighthearted and lustful to an uneasy silence. He doesn’t know why he can’t say anything, almost like he’s stunned that he’s actually in your apartment. This is not something he’d normally do, go back to seemingly a stranger’s house to have sex with them. Was he nervous?

“The jacket is in my room. I’ll go grab it for you,”

You say. You don’t know what you were hoping for, but you wanted him to do something. Instead, his eyes just follow your disappearing figure. He was frozen in place, not knowing how to proceed next. His mind was running a million miles a minute, trying to decide whether or not he should follow you to the room, if that’s what you were wanting. What if that’s not what you wanted and he was just in over his head? What if you didn’t want to have sex with him? You walk back out with his jacket in your hand, finding any excuse to keep him here just a bit longer.

“Do you want a cup of water or anything?”

“I want you.”

He remarks, finding the courage and sliding his hand around your waist and capturing your lips with his own. You bring your free hand up to his neck, the other still holding his jacket, silently cheering that he made the first move. He didn’t know why he was so nervous to put his hands on you. As if you hadn’t been flirting like crazy every time he saw you.

His hands slowly roamed your body, tongue darting out to swipe your bottom lip, asking for permission to enter your mouth. You part your lips in a moan, giving him the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue in. His hands go down to squeeze your ass a little, trailing kisses down to your neck while you pant trying to catch your breath.

“Mmhm Jay…”

You moaned a little, making his semi-hard dick even harder, feeling it against your leg.

“Fuck Y/N, you’re so sexy I’ve thinking about this for weeks now,”

He says, lips never leaving your neck. He bites down a little hard, causing you to let out a whimper.

“M-me too… been thinking about you all night…”

He pulls away from your neck, grabbing his jacket from your hand and throwing it onto your couch as he takes you to your bedroom. You lived alone so there was no point in closing the door. He takes off his shirt before laying you down on your bed, connecting your lips once again. You hadn’t noticed it, but he came wearing regular clothes today, not a fancy suit or button up. You reluctantly pull away, tugging off your shirt and bra, leaving both of your upper bodies bare.

“Holy god you are beautiful,”

He says, attaching his lips to your nipple and using the other to rub circles into your waist. You gently pull his hair, moaning at the contact and grinding up into him. The action causing you both to let out moans as he switches his attention from your left nipple to your right, unbuttoning your jeans with his free hand and gently caressing your clothed pussy. Your moans send his mind into a frenzy, kissing down your chest and abdomen until he reaches your core. You lift your hips up eagerly, signaling him to take your pants off. He lets out a chuckle, shucking your jeans and panties to a random corner of the room.

“It’s like I said before, someone’s eager.”

You don’t fight back, needing some form of contact.

“And you’re so wet for me too, what should I do with you?”

He teases, running just his index finger up and down your slit. Your mewls only make him want to tease you more, cherishing the little noises you’re making when he’s barely even touching you. Makes him wonder what you’d be like begging for his dick. He inserts one of his fingers without warning, gauging your reaction.

“J-Jay!”

You almost yell at the intrusion, not prepared for him to enter you so suddenly. You let yourself relax before slightly moving yourself on his finger, needing more. He picks up on your movements, thrusting his finger in and out, adding a second one. His face is so close to your clit, you can feel his breath on it. He tests the waters, gently blowing on your clit to which you jolt up. He smirks before dipping his face into your pussy, giving your clit a little lick.

“Jay please, please use your tongue on me!”

You’re all but begging him at this point, growing increasingly more wet at his teasing.

“I love it when you beg for me babygirl, as you wish,”

He says, fully attaching his lips to your clit, licking and sucking like his life depends on it. The pleasure is building up exponentially, causing a familiar, yet new feeling to build in your core.

“Jay I’m…”

And before you can finish your sentence, you’re gushing fluid, squirting all over his face.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Jay!”

You yell frantically, embarrassed at your actions.

“You just squirted all over my face… Can you do that on my dick?”

He asks to your surprise. He removes his finger from you, causing you to whine at the empty feeling, only to remove his jeans and boxers, pulling you closer to him and lining up his dick with your entrance. He collects your slick on his fingers and pumps himself a few times. He nods his head at you, to which you nod back, giving him permission to enter.

He slowly pushes into you, groaning every second of the way, until he’s fully sheathed himself inside you. Your eyes fly open as he enters, gasping at how big he is. He slowly thrusts in, letting you adjust as he moves. His hands are gripping your hips tightly, pushing through your tight hole almost ensuring that you’ll be left with some bruising in the morning. Your hands are gripping the sheets underneath you, waiting for the slight sting to be replaced with pleasure.

“You’re so tight, it's even better than I had imagined.”

He leans down to leave kisses on your neck, your hands flying into his hair. He trails his kisses up your neck and jaw, meeting your lips again as he starts thrusting into you with more vigor. You struggle to contain your moans as he hits up right into your spot, the feeling causing a familiar wave of pressure to build up into your core. He breaks the kiss, breathing heavily as your moans grow uncontrollably louder. He all but growls into your ear at your sounds, like music to his ears.

“J-Jay, please, go faster,”

In an instant, he speeds up his pace without warning, the feeling of your hole clenching around his length eliciting a low grumble from the back of his throat.

“Please, please, I’m so close!”

“Let it all go for me, baby,”

The moment you squirt out again all over his dick he's pulling it out of you, praying he did it on time. He’s relieved to see his milky white fluid all over your lips, dangerously close to your hole. Your breathing is labored and your throat is dry. Jay wants to collapse next to you, also needing to catch up on his breathing, but spots the tissues on your desk, grabbing them to clean you up before cleaning himself off.

“That was close. Your pussy was too good, I almost came inside.”

You laugh at his comment while tugging on an oversized t-shirt, relieved that he didn’t come inside.

“Thanks but I should be the one praising you. I’ve never had a guy make me squirt twice.”

Jay’s ego was slightly inflated at the fact, smiling. He puts on his boxers and pants before laying down next to you, catching his breath. You both sit in a comfortable silence, looking up at your ceiling for a while before he breaks it.

"I'm not gonna lie to you, that was probably the best one night stand I've ever had.”

There was the fear of rejection once again. He knew he wanted you as more than a one night stand, but he was too afraid of rejection to bring it up , not wanting to get himself hurt.

"You have one night stands often then?”

You meant it in a joking way , concealing your disappointment at the thought of never being more than just a good fuck for a guy you had been crushing on for a while. Even through your jest, Jay could hear the slight uneasiness in your voice, after all, he did pay attention to your speech patterns and grew familiar with your confident tone when making jokes. He decided to bite the bullet, who cares if he got rejected? He wouldn’t know unless he asked.

“Actually, no. This is the first time I've ever done something like this… but if I'm being honest, I hope it’s not the last. I hope I’m not crazy when I say I’ve been crushing on you since we met and that I had a feeling that you’ve been crushing on me as well…”

He lets his voice trail off, nervous of your reaction towards his unexpected confession. One you can’t help but smile at because of how cute it is, despite the current context of your semi-naked bodies settled so comfortably on the bed.

“What gave it away? The way I’d always service you as soon as I could or the fact that I would spend more time than I should’ve talking to you when I was busy with other customers?”

“Hmm…”

You turn to rest your head on your hand while facing him, another question from you breaking him out of his search for a response.

“And you never answered my question from earlier but I guess it makes sense now. Jake said you were gonna tip me 100% the night you got your promotion but he didn’t tell me why. I guess I can assume you had already started liking me before then which is why I so confidently had asked for 100% tonight. But I don’t need your money by the way, I just wanted to test my theory and see if you’d actually give it to me.”

At this point you were rambling and you knew it, but you wanted to get every thought out of your head before you forgot it, starting to feel sleepy after your vigorous activities. He turns so he’s face to face with you.

“Aren’t you quite the detective? I found you attractive since the first night I walked in. I’m sure I wasn’t subtle about the way I looked at you and how often I looked at you either. But I think what did it was when you came running with my wallet that night. You looked so cute, shivering and acting like you weren’t cold.”

His explanation has you sighing, content at his answer. You just blink at him cutely and smile.

“You’re very sappy. But I kinda like it,”

He laughs and scoots closer to you, slinging an arm around your waist.

“Can I kiss you?”

Your smile only grows wider as you nod, leaning in so he can close the space between you. His hand that’s firmly grasping your waist is rubbing little soothing circles into it while you tangle your fingers in his hair, a kiss much sweeter and slower than the ones you’ve previously shared. You part your lips a little, allowing his tongue to roam your mouth freely.

Once you decide to break away, you both gaze into eachothers eyes.

“I would love to take you out. Are you free tomorrow night?”

“I don’t know, let me think about it… I’m just kidding, yes!”

You both laugh at your little antics, Jay now sitting up on your bed and looking for his phone.

“Give me your number so I can text you. I’ll come back here to pick you up tomorrow.”

He says, hanging you his phone to put your number in.

“Here’s my number but you have like a million messages from Jungwon”

“Oh shit”

Caught up in the midst of his excitement, Jay had forgotten to text Jungwon not to come pick him up from the bar.

“Jay?”

“Where are you?”

“Come outside I’m here”

“The bars closed where are you?”

“Bro if you don’t come out I’m gonna leave”

“I just checked your location you could’ve told me you went to someone’s house”

“I’m never picking you up ever again”

“If if fail my exam on Monday because your bitch ass forgot to tell me that you didn’t need me to pick you up and I don’t have enough time to study I’m gonna take all your money”

“You suck”

“Fuck you”

You read the messages over his shoulder and laugh, catching his attention.

“Hey!”

“What? You left that poor boy outside waiting 20 minutes for you and you didn’t even tell him that you didn’t need him tonight. You deserve everything he said. You should buy him lunch tomorrow as an apology.”

“Yeah whatever he acts like he studies anyways.”

He rolls his eyes while you laugh. You get up from your spot on the bed, grabbing you both a cup of water from the kitchen.

“I’m gonna go shower. Wanna join?”

You say playfully, walking towards the bathroom and giggling.

“How can I say no to an offer so tempting?”

He laughs and follows behind you, hands already finding your waist as he follows you in, your laughs disappearing throughout the apartment as he closes the door behind him.

༄ ༄ ༄

#starrihan #enhypen #enhypen smut #enha #enha smut #jay #park jay #park jay smut #jay smut #park jeongseong #park jeongseong smut #kpop #kpop smut

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cryptic--writing · 1 month ago

Note

Hiya 👋🏻

It’s not really a kinktober request, but maybe you’ll consider doing it? No pressure though))

Ajaf era James, where he was drinking a lot. He understands that that affects him and turns him into a monster. He’s afraid he’s going to hurt reader, but he can’t break up with her for her safety, he loves her too much. So he comes up with stupid plan of making her break up with him because of his behavior? So he starts to undermine her efforts, e.g. the meals she cooks “could have been better”; makes fun of her simple 9-5 job , saying that’s she lucky she can have a relaxed job cause he’s earning most of the money and covering the bills. Although she’s hurt, she is staying as she loves him and thinks it’s the alcohol talking. James, realizing his plan doesn’t work, makes the final move: after they have sex one evening, he tells her that groupies do a much better job. That’s too much for her to take so she leaves him.

Unfortunately, after break up he feels even worse. Lars is worried so he interrogates him, and drunken James confesses. So Lars finds reader and locks her in the studio with James for them to reconcile (can we have smut here)?

Few weeks later when they start recording black album, James plays her a song (which will become nothing else matters), saying that it’s his way of telling everyone how much she means to him?

I’m sorry I can’t write short asks 🥲🥲🥹🥹

You are a great writer so I really hope this will become a story 🙏🏻

hihi!

and omg its here. took me 9 days to write it lmao but yeah

i cant explain how much I loved this idea pls marry me annon

also ~~~ means POV change (yes there is James and reader pov)

this fic has legit everything so I hope y'all enjoy it bc I busted my ass on it

some parts may be confusing idk

anyways

word count: 10623

warnings: mentions of achohol/drugs, death is mentioned, toxic relationship, break up, angst, smut, fluff, I'm prob forgetting smth

OR SO I THOUGHT (1989)

It had been a rough couple months with James. I felt determined to help him with his only worsening alcoholism, though he only continued to shut me out. I could feel the guilt when he was around, but it didn't make him stop. I tried, I really did, encouraging him to talk to me, to help me help him.

It was the same sad scene every night. James would come home, probably around midnight, and I couldn't sleep without him next to me, so I was up, all those hours, wondering as I tossed and turned as to where he might be. All I knew is I was in for a scary time when he got back, but I eventually grew tough skin to deal with this. Understood that this wasn't safe for me, or him, and I stressed that so, so much to him, but James never understood. Well, he never told me he did. Maybe there was more going on in his heart I never knew about. But, of course, I could never discover as he would always close himself off so much.

It was another day where the cycle would repeat. I woke up at three am to the sound of James stumbling in, mumbling something under his breath before he plopped down on the bed beside me, and I knew well enough to hold my tongue, to not provoke him. I pretended I was asleep, which he believed, trying, or at least I think he was trying, to snuggly up next to me, but he had his back to me. His arms weren't around me. Maybe that's all I yearn for now, to be loved and held.

Once I could finally go back to sleep, I was awoken not much later by the sound of my blaring alarm. It was seven am, time to get ready for work. James is a heavy sleeper, he never woke up from my alarms, though I always rushed to turn them off, just in case they would wake him. Slipping out of bed with a groan, I observed his sprawled out body, his shoes still on. I'm glad he made it to the bed this night, as others he would end up on the couch, or in his car, or somewhere I had no idea of.

I pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, like a mother caring for her ill son on a school day. I slipped off his shoes, trying to get him more comfortable. I scurried towards the closet to grab my work clothes for the day before getting changed in the bathroom and rummaging through our medicine cabinet, finding some pain killers and then getting him a cold glass of water, leaving the items on our bedside table. I paused to watch over him as he slept, his slow, steady breaths that rose and fell from his chest. I loved him too much to change this lifestyle. I loved every part of him, and if this was part of him, then so be it. I'll help him get better. He loves every part of me, no matter what, right?

Or so I thought.

I slipped on my heels, walking into our messy kitchen, the sink filled with unwashed dishes James was supposed to do. But, he isn't well, so I must do them for him. After washing the dishes, I brewed coffee, poured myself a cup and left some for him and began to make breakfast. James had been off lately, different to how he already was off, but that slowly became part of our normal, so one new change did not stick out too much, but this one did. I don't know what it is. He just felt… lifeless, cold, I guess. I decided to make one of his favorite breakfast meals, a nice, warm and fluffy stack of pancakes with eggs and bacon, cooked just the way he liked it. I spent extra time trying to make it the best I had. I knew they would probably be cold by the time he woke up, but hopefully he'd appreciate my effort. I ate some eggs before scrambling for a notepad, getting a pen to write him a sweet good morning note, explaining I was at work, when I'd be home, how much I loved him, and where the other meds were if he needed them. I wrote these notes almost daily, but this one I made longer and more love filled. I figured he would want my love.

Or so I thought.

I came home around six pm, the evening traffic being worse than usual. Instead of seeing James' car out of the driveway and the house dark, he was still home. The soft sound of the TV buzzing was easy to hear as I unlocked the door, walking in to see him on the couch, leaning against the couch arm and holding his head up with his hand. He was too engrossed in whatever he was watching to nice me walk in, so I tried to have him notice my presence.

“Im back, Jamie,” I said softly to not startle him, my voice filled with love as I moved to sit next to him, he looked over at me, like a confused puppy. “How are you feeling?” I asked, gently stroking his back, though he moved from my touch.

“Oh, hi. Yeah, I'm fine. Busy right now, yeah?” He mumbled as a response as he resumed watching TV once more, brushing me off with his simple, cold words. I knew I had to respect his space and not probe at him, so I just nodded with a sigh and got up, slipping off my shoes and setting my bags down,

“Are you hungry?” I asked, digging through the fridge to get things to make dinner. He didn't answer. “James, are you hungry? I can make dinner,” I offered again, noticing the cleared plate that I had made him for breakfast, the note missing. I assumed he threw it away, just like the others. I never saw them in the trash cans, but after everything piles up, you can just assume. I heard James sigh from the couch, “Uh, yeah, sure, whatever. Breakfast was cold, so I threw most of it away anyways,” He admitted, and I felt a small ache in my heart. I thought he liked the dish since there was none left on his plate, but clearly he proved me different. Why I even put effort in these things, I don't know. THats a lie, I do. I love him, and want him to know it, to feel it. I should’ve been doing this as part of my own insecurities, but to make sure he knows I'm there for him, always.

I thought of what to make for dinner, seeing if he had eaten anything since breakfast, only finding empty beer bottles and a half eaten bag of chips. It was probably only the alcohol making him act like this. I decided to make steak with potatoes, something he normally liked and said I made pretty well. It was easy to make, and I know it was one of his favorites I made him, but normally I would wait for a bigger step in life, like celebrating something about the band, or something in my career, but I knew he deserved it still.

I finished after 45 minutes, preparing the plate to be gorgeous, something I wish I could hear from his lips for once. But, he loved me. I know he thinks I'm gorgeous, he wouldn't have to tell me. Right?

“Jamie, the food's ready, I made steak,” I said warmly with a smile, setting a dinner table for us. I didn't get a response, just a grunt as he stood from the couch and walked his near empty bottle of beer, finishing it off and grabbing another from the fridge. I sat at the table, waiting for him to come and join me. His eyes landed on the plate, pulling out the chair to sit down. I couldn't read his emotions, he didn't look too happy, but he didn't look mad. He just looked.. plain. James grabbed his fork and began to eat, the metal scraping against the porcelain plate, waiting for his nod of approval. It never came. He didn't talk, but not in a way like he was mad. He just didn't speak. But he didn't need to, he didn't need to say the things I knew already. I took a breath and began to eat, and it might've been one of the best I had cooked in awhile. Perfect tenderness, juiciness, seasoning, and cooked perfectly, something you could get at a restaurant, now in our home.

“What do you think, baby? I think it's pretty good, no?” I inquired, seeking the validation I craved from him. He just shrugged.

“It's fine, I guess. It could've been better.”

It shouldn't have hurt. It really shouldn't. He just didn't like the dinner I cooked. The dinner I poured my time into. The dinner I made was special. Special for him. But, what did I know? I doubt he meant it. That's why it definitely shouldn't have hurt. He was drinking. ITs just the alcohol making him act like this. He would never say something like that to me. Why did tears prick at my eyes. Why did it actually hurt?

“Oh, uhm…. I'm sorry, I'll do better next time, do you want me to make you something else..?” I choked out, fighting back my tears.

“No, don't waste your time making something mediocre, yeah?” James insisted, insulting me bitterly once again.

I took a shaky breath, another sting to my heart. Hes. Drunk. This can't be what he means, right?

Or so I thought.

“Alright, uh, do you wanna cuddle on the couch..? We can watch anything you want? Or not watch anything, just sit together.” I offered again, pleading to get love from my partner.

“I was probably gonna go to bed. You mind cleaning up?” He pushed me away again, and every word stung. I want him to see me, to notice me, just to love me. But I reminded myself again and again, he's drunk, he doesn't mean it, he doesn't mean it. I'm just being sensitive and pathetic. Maybe it's just my hormones.

I nodded, forcing a smile, “Sure, yeah, go ahead and go to bed, I'll clean up and join you in a bit, ok?” I informed him and he just nodded and got up, walking to the bedroom, still carrying his battle with him. My eyes stung, and once he was out of sight, I felt tears streak my face, but I continued to fight them away. I quickly got up to clear James’ and my own plate, then cleaning the kitchen, washing everything with great care to keep it tidy.

I came into the bedroom, James half asleep under the sheets. His hair was astray as he slept near the edge, his limbs tight together. The now empty beer bottle sat on the nightstand, another reminder of James’ habits. I glanced around before getting changed into my sleep clothes, a nice little night dress James had gotten me for Valentines Day earlier that year. It was nice and pink with some fluffy pieces at the bottom and lace dancing across it. It flowed nicely and hugged my body in the right places, going down to a bit above my knees. It had some other pieces, like stockings and a garter. In reality, it was more so lingerie than a bed set. But, it was one of James’ favorites for me to wear. Maybe this would make him open up more, or just show me the love I'm craving. I crawled in beside him, though I doubt he noticed the weight accompanying him, trying to cuddle closer, pressing myself against his back.

“Jamie?” I asked softly, kissing the back of his head.

“Hm.” James answered in a sleepy tone, barely aware of my presence.

“You doing ok? You've been acting differently…” I kept a quiet tone, my hands gently running down his arms and back as I pondered on what may be hurting him so much.

He took a deep and large breath, sighing, “Yeah, I'm fine… why do you ask..?” James mumbled in response.

“Nothing, you just seem off, I guess,” I rushed out. I didn't want to upset him, but he just seemed so soft and sweet, something I hadn't seen from him awhile.

“Oh, well, alright then… love you..” He mumbled out, slowly succumbing to sleep after saying the words I knew were true.

Or so I thought.

The office today was exhausting. Absurdly exhausting. And infuriating. A stuck up and snotty boss whos full of himself ordering me around to do his mundane dirty work, my co workers giving me side glances of judgment for my more rushed than normal appearance, not having as much time this morning as I had to help James with yet another hangover, getting him to the bathroom in time before he painted our bed green in vomit, making him some foods to keep him comfortable and having to buy more pain killers, my 3rd trip this month, all before heading to work. All I wanted was to come home, sleep, relax, and be held by the love of my life.

As simple as an office job 9-5 may seem, how it is not. No one else wants to do their own work, always needing some kind of assistance, and of course, I none the wiser, agree to help them.

It was another late evening with heavy traffic, not allowing me to come home until seven, again. I had stopped at the market, grabbing food and other supplies we were running low on. And more beer.

The door to the house was locked, something that had been happening more and more as I came home, only growing worries on James' worsening habits, the idea of drugs coming to mind, but I tried to shake it from my head, just wanting a nice time at home.

I unlocked the door, the house quiet except for the soft strum of a guitar in James’ mini studio, which was just an extra bedroom we had turned into a spot for him to store his instruments and for his practeing. We hoped one day for it to become a nursery, a room for our future child.

I followed the music, the half open door allowing me to peek at James, hunched over one of his explorers, fiddling with the strings as he danced around the fretboard with his talented fingers. I smiled at the sweet sight, slowly entering the room.

“Whatcha working on?” I asked, announcing my arrival home. James looked up at me, at first a smile on his face, but he quickly dropped it. His actions only confused me further.

“Uhm, not much, just… a couple riffs and stuff for the new album..” He answered, still picking at the strings with something unreadable in his eyes.

I nodded, smiling at him, “It sounds good, I'm excited to hear it,” I responded before speaking again, “Work was so exhausting today, I don't know how I put up with it anymore,” I said with a laughy sigh, trying to lighten the statement.

James just shrugged. “I mean, I don't really see how a nine to five can really be that tiring,” He disputed, but his tone sounded unsure, shaky like how it did when we first met. But there was a force, an anger of some kind.

I was even more lost with his shift in attitude, “Well, what do you mean? You don't work one, you wouldn't know,” I argued back with more aggression than I meant.

“Yeah, I don't work one. Your job is light and relaxing feather work compared to the shit I do. You are out doing twelve hours a day for months on end at a studio, being out for a year just to tour and shit, you don't make anything working that job, I'm the one paying the bills with my money.” James spat, cold and bitter. His words rung in my ears, repeating each syllable like a painful stab. My brain scrambled for reasons to understand his reaction and response to my complaint of work.

James' piercing blue eyes still starred up and me, my mouth agape in shock. Why would he act like this? He loved me. He just told me he did the other week before we went to bed. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. What is wrong in his life that I don't know about, that he wont tell me about.

My eyes scanned the room, searching for anything that might explain this behavior of his. Truly, anything that would help explain such a swift and sudden change in his mood, but deep down ZI knew, I was just looking for bottles, cans, cups, glasses, anything that would contain the fizzy and bitter liquid he loved. The only thing I could find was a half empty bottle, freshly opened next to the chair he sat in. That's it, that's why he's acting like this. He's just drunk. He doesn't mean it. He doesn't mean it.

Or so I thought.

Even with my new found reasoning, his words still hurt a great amount, the pain struggling to leave. A simple insult, just telling me how I don't work as hard as him, that my job isn't as crucial as his. I took a breath, trying to control and reign in my emotions before I could meltdown in front of him for such a stupid reason. Drunken words, not filled or backed by any true thoughts. Right?

But they do say drunk words are sober thoughts.

“I- well,” I tried to speak, but I couldn't come up with the words. What would I say? I didn't want to make him any more upset than he seemed to be, but I didn't want to submit to him so easily, especially after such disrespect. But I knew better. I don't lash out, I keep him happy. We will work this out together, we have to.

“I'm just gonna go to bed,” I muttered under my breath, fighting back tears that needed to spill out, James rude comments only adding fuel to the fire that had been burning in me all day. Not a fire of anger, passion or desire, but a fire of hurt. Once I shut the bedroom door behind me silently, I broke. The bottle shattered, and my tears overflowed my face, covering my mouth as I cried, trying to calm myself down as I got ready for bed at such an early hour, even forgetting to make James something for dinner.

It was my day off, a relaxing Saturday I could use to have some me time, as James was gonna be out with the band all day as the brainstormed for the new album, which was still taking its baby steps into production, nowhere near any concept for songs yet. At Least that I knew of.

James had been really tense this week, and I had tried everything to get him to relax and cheer up. Taking him out to his favorite restaurants after I came home, making him home cooked meals, getting him gifts and all things. Though there was one thing I hadn't tried. Sex.

I spent all day dolling myself up, wanting to be as bare and beautiful as possible for James. I shaved everywhere, leaving not a single trace of hair anywhere except for my head,, of course. I scrubbed every nook and cranny of my body, putting on James’ favorite set we bought together, doing my makeup just the way he liked it, lighting the candles he got for my birthday, and dousing myself in his favorite perfume I owned. All the lights were out, except for the lowlights of the candles in the bedroom. I laid on the mattress, waiting for James to come home, hoping this would finally get him to unwind from his stress.

I heard James’ keys jingle in the door, and I could feel myself getting more and more excited for his arrival. This would be one of the few times I would have him sober, as when they worked on material they rarely drank or did anything crazy, thankfully. His shoes thudded on the wooden floors, a sigh escaping his lips as I heard him slowly walk towards the bedroom.

“Are you home?” He called out to me before approaching the bedroom door, taking in the sight of me and the room I had spent the evening preparing for this moment.

“Hey baby,” I mused with a smirk, looking up at him with loving eyes. His eyes met mine, looking warm for the first time in awhile.

“What's all this for?” He asked, still taking in the well decorated bedroom and my sexy form.

“Wanted to help you relax… you've been so stressed,” I replied, grabbing his hand to try and bring him closer, to get into the bed with me.

It didn't take much more conniving, and James had given in pretty quickly to my offer. He was being more loud than normal, probably because we hadn't had the chance to be intimate like this in awhile. I loved this so much. Well, I loved being close to James again. He wasn't hitting the right spots or focussing on pleasuring me much, but that's fine, he's the one who needed to relax anyways, and I have enough time on my hands if I wanted to please myself, I guess. It didn't take long for him to come, pulling out and painting himself on my abdomen and my breath labored, coming down from…. Well, not an orgasm, but being close to one. James was beat after that, and I don't blame him for that. He had been so busy recently, I was happy we just got to share a moment like this together again.

I laid close to him under the sheets as we both recovered, James already half asleep. I had his hand in mine, kissing each knuckle of his and more, pouting all of my love into that moment. I looked up, having felt James’ eyes on me for a while. I met his blues, and there was a slight guilt in them, a gestation and regret. But, it didn't last long as he blinked it all away, taking another breath.

“How are you feeling now? Did it make it any better?” I asked, my voice heavy with sleep as I lazily continued to press kisses to his hand.

“I mean, yeah, I guess… It wasn't like, amazing though… I've had better, normally the groupies can do a bit more than that, y’know?” James said cooly, acting as if the words he just said didn't mean anything and had no weight to them.

“What?” Was all I could muster out, the tears already filling my eyes as I tried to process all of this.

“You heard me, the groupies normally do better.”

The words came so normally from his mouth, as if he was just telling me the date and time. But no, he was comparing me to prostitutes, previous women he has slept with. I began to cry, not just out of hurt and sadness, but this time anger. How could he say something like that to me?

And then the worst part hit.

He was sober.

Something I would've wanted more than anything else just a few days ago is now what is causing this experience to be even worse than it is with the horrible comparison and insults James had spewn at me. He meant it. Alcohol was toying with his brain, making him into the aggravated man I had grown to know quite well over the years.

“Are… are you serious? After everything? I put myself through hell to deal with this, to go to work, to do EVERYTHING for you! I have tried so hard James. And Yet you still compare me to them?! Sluts with prices on their heads?!” I cried, anger and hurt filling the fire in my eyes, and I could swear I saw Jamw\es’ cold attitude falter for just a moment. Maybe it was what I was hoping for, that it was all an act, that he truly did love me deep down, but maybe he didn't. Maybe this is the truth I had been hiding from all these months.

James didn't res;ond, just sighing with a shrug.

That's what pushed me over the edge.

“Are you fucki ng serious? You're not even gonna try and fight for this? Get out of here! We're done. Since you don't appreciate anything I do for you nowadays, I don't want you in here anymore. Pack your shit and leave.” I cursed at him as I continued to sob, processing the moments that passed, feeling as if the earth was slowing, each second hitting me hard and heavy.

I could see a slight guilt in James’ eyes, and as much I wanted to believe it was true, I couldn't give it in myself to do that anymore. I couldn't keep living this lie. He nodded, staying silent as I cried, slipping on his clothes and grabbing some things he'd need for the night.

“I loved you because you loved me, or so I thought you loved me, truly you don't give a shit!” I called out again, hearing James breath hitch at my harsh words, but he just left. No goodbye, the final words spoken to us only filled with hate and hurt, though millions went unspoken.

— —- — —> A FEW MONTHS LATER…

Not a lot has happened since I broke up with James, but a lot has changed. Maybe for the better. I miss him terribly, but a lot of weight is off of my shoulders now. I'm no longer worrying about having to make elaborate meals for him, or to do everything in my power to make him happy as [possible, watching my words at all times to make sure I wont say anything that might upset him. It was a large change. The house is still cold like how it was with him, but its a different kind of cold. There is no warmth of another body. Its quiet, no more TV static and laughter or guitar. Work had only gotten more tiring, but I had recently gotten promoted, something I had wanted for a long, long time.

I haven't spoken to James since we broke up. I know he had come by the next day, as when he left that night he only took clothes to last him the night, and when I came home from work, all of his belongings were gone, and his spare key was left on the counter, all of his music gear out of the house, leaving me a now empty room, not to house his guitars, and no longer holding the hopes and dreams of a future child.

Or so I thought all of his stuff was gone.

I came home after work, the house dark and silent, turning on the lights before going into the former music room, which had now become my office for the time being, as I needed one for the promotion, to be able to have a comfortable spot where I could do other work tasks from home. I set down my purse, sitting in my computer chair and sliding off my heels. I saw something in the corner of my eye, something that somehow had never caught my eye all these months.

An ashtray, repurposed to hold James’ many guitar picks. It was behind a lamp that was in the corner of the room on an end table. There was more than just guitar pics, but one of his rings. Like the ones he always wore on stage, the cool reflective metal that shone brightly under the spotlight. I paused, only having gotten one heel off, so confused as to how I never noticed. I sat in this same chair, facing the same direction, taking my heels off the same each day. I quickly got the other off before walking towards the table, picking up the ashtray, having remnants of cigarette butts and ash, some of which covered the pics. There had to be at least 20 of those pics, I don't know how James could forget such a thing, along with one of his more favorite rings. He wore it when we met, but I never made the connection as to that being the reason he left it. I missed him, yes, but having these almost made it worse. Like the world was teasing me that he is gone, that I won't be able to be held by him again, because he doesnt love me anymore. How I still love him, I don't know. Part of me still wants to believe he never meant any of it, but the chances of that being true is slim now. But, I didn't have the heart to call him, to return them to him. He would have come to get them by now, right?

I picked up the cold metal, holding it in my hand before slipping it on my ring finger. It was too large, slipping off quite easily. I tried the next, my middle finger, and it fit well enough to not fall off. It felt so wrong to wear, but it made me feel closer to him. I hated it, but I loved it. A little piece of him to be with me always. ‘God, I sound like a wife mourning her husband who died in a war.’ Was all I could think to myself, setting back down the ash tray and taking off the ring before sitting back down in my office chair, trying to shake my head of the matter so I could focus on the important task at hand, work.

I spent about two hours on the assignment before finishing it among other things, now exhausted even further. I stumbled towards the bedroom, changing into my pajama pants and a sleep shirt. Since the break up, I have refused to wear or even look at the clothes sJames had bought me. I didn't feel any desire to wear those things now that I knew he would be the one to see me in them. I never really wanted to wear clothes like that, but knowing he liked it made me like it. Now that he's gone, so is that enjoyment. I layed down on the mattress, sinking down as it swallowed me and the day whole. I had gotten used to the loneliness of sleeping alone, even after having a body next to me for the last four years. Maybe it was an easier adjustment as towards the end it was like sleeping next to no one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last few months are hard to describe. I can't explain it, I really can't. I've never been more lonely in my life, drowning all of my sorrows in the bitter bottles that wasted away each night and day. I've tried putting my energy elsewhere, focusing more on the band than I was earlier, trying to pour my emotions into guitar and lyrics, but nothing works. Nothing matches what I once had. What I threw away. What I ruined. Though, all my life, through all my struggles, there was one thing I learned.

Mask your emotions, hide your turmoil. It's something I had quickly gotten good at from a young age.

Or so I thought.

I went out for drinks with Lars to discuss lyrics and other parts of music for the record, as we normally had for our other productions and everything. We had another few weeks before we went into the studio, where we planned to record for many months, wanting this release to be the best we ever had.

Before I had even gone out to the bar with Lars, I had already had a few bars at home, or what I had tried to make into my home. It was a home, yeah, but it didn't feel homey. There was no warmth or touch to it to make it seem whimsical or joyful. I know I have a problem, but what is there I can do.

When I got there, Lars’s car was already outside, and I knew I was late by thirty minutes, having to build up the motivation to leave the house for a reason other than food, so trying to get up and socialize and talk about important stuff was not on my top choices to do.

I trudged in, my eyes darting around for the Danish, who was never that hard to find. And as I expected, I found him somewhat quickly, taking a seat next to him and ordering a drink for myself.

“Hey man, where the fock have you been? Been waiting here ages for ya,” Lars commented with his laugh, sipping on his own drink.

I just shrugged, “Sorry man, there was just…” I tried to think of a reasonable excuse, but none could come to mind. “Traffic, y’know, it gets bad around five or six, all those people getting off of work,” I explained, thinking I was an expert at this facade.

“Alright, whatever you say. Let's get to work now, yeah?” Lars tried to believe me, but it was clear he knew there was something more to what I said.

I just nodded, “Yeah,” I answered, and Lars took out his notepad where he already had some ideas for songs. The mask was as strong as stone, no way to see in.

Or so I thought.

Lars looked back to me, a thought popping back in his mind, “Traffic? There's normally not much in this area, I mean before you moved out of that place, shit, traffic was bad, but here? No way,” Lars questioned me, no longer believing a word I had said.

“Well, I guess it was just different today…” I muttered, “Let's just start now, leave it be,”. Lars agreed reluctantly, and soon we were sharing ideas sas I jotted down lyrics, Lars taking turns as we debated on the new project.

Of course, as we worked, we were drinking. Me more than him, and it was getting me tipsy, and then drunk. Normally we wouldn't get drunk during lyric writing, just a bit.. Wobbly, I guess. We were just reviewing the lyrics for the third song we were jotting up and I had ordered another drink.

“Jesus man, you only focused on drinking? We got shit to do!” Lars complained to me, and I just shrugged. “Sorry, got my priorities here…” I joked, and Lars only gave a pity laugh.

“Is something up? You've been acting weird as hell for the last few months. We barely see you anymore, and when we do, you're late.” He informed me firmly, clearly not wanting to put up with my demeanor much longer.

“I'm fine, didn't I already tell you that?” I responded, and at this point I just wanted to go home. “Well, you can tell me it a million fuckin’ times and that doesnyt mean Ill believe you,” He rebuttled, and I sighed. “So, what's up with you?”

I didn't want to answer, well sober me would've deflected. But drunk me? He doesn't have much of a filter. Who does when they're drunk anyways?

“Nothings up with me, just dealing with shit…” I answered, taking another sip of my drink.

“Ok, well dealing with what?”

“The breakup, and everything,” I answered, my eyes avoiding Lars’s own.

“Ohh, yeah, I see. What happened anyways? You never went into detail, just saying she kicked you out in the middle of the night. The fuck did you do to her?” He laughed, but the sting of the memories still remained.

“I.. well, I told her she was a shit cook, lazy, didnt work as hard me, and that groupies fuck better,” I admitted. Lars' face changed from a small smile to a look of shock.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah”

“What would make you say something like that?! That's totally messed up!” I knew this would be shocking, especially coming from me to say something like that. But I didn't expect him to be this shocked.

“No, I did it for a reason, I'm not just some asshole! I didn't want to break up with her, and I didnt want her to break up with me, but I knew I had to get her to break up with me. I keep drinking, and it makes me into… I don't know, I'm a different person and I don't want to hurt her. The only option was to force her to break up with me.” I tried to explain, but Lars was quick to respond.

“Only option?! Have you heard of rehab? Getting help? Did she just let you waste away?”

“I didn't want to go to rehab either, and no, she did try to help, but I don't want help…” It was getting embarrassing at this point, showing how weak I had become.

“James, not everything is about what you want! There's things you need to do, but you don't want to. Those are just as important.” He paused, hoping my worlds would process through me as he thought of an idea. “How about this, clean up your act a bit and I'll get her back over here and you can go back to paradise, alright?” Lars offered and I perked up a bit.

“How the hell do you expect her to come back to me after all of that?”

“I never said she'd come back to you, I said I can get her over here, make you guys talk or something.” He corrected me, and I just rolled my eyes.

“Well how are you gonna get her to come here? She probably hates me at this point,”

“I have my ways, we were closer friends than you probably remember,” Lars’ words didn't help. He could never explain his plan, and that's what always ticked me off about him.

“Fine, whatever, work your midget magic or something,” I muttered under my breath.

“What did you just say to me?”

“Nothing, nothing, just do whatever it is, alright?”

“Fine.”

— — — — > A WEEK LATER…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time moves slow these days. But not in a bad way, it was nice that life was hitting the breaks a bit instead of the pedal. Though, that joy wouldn't last long.

I sat in my office chair at work, working on some papers my boss had handed me a few minutes ago. He was giving me stack after stack after stack of papers today, all coming with my promotion I got a bit back. More money means more work, and more work means more money, so I guess it isn't all too bad in the long run. I glanced up from my paper, eyeing the now double repurposed ashtray, one being made for the intents of cigarette butts, then guitar pics, and now it held my keys and some other trinkets, including one singular guitar pic of James, one of his favorites.

I was startled out of my thoughts by hearing the office phone ring, quickly reaching to grab it, assuming it was a customer call.

“Hi, this is Capital Advisors, how can I help you?” I offered in a cheery tone, but the voice I heard response was not what I had expected.

“Hey man, look, it's Lars, something happened to James, you mind heading down to the studio?”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Sure, Lars and I were close, but we haven't talked much since James and I’s break up. My words caught in my throat, processing the second half. “Something happened to James? What happened? Is he ok?” Even though he proved himself worthy of a break up, I still couldn't shake my love and worry for him.

“Uhhhh, yeah, no, sure he's fine, but you just needa come to the studio?” Lars rambled, not sure how to keep up his lie.

“Ok, yeah, of course, when do I need to be there?” My mind was racing, Lars wasn't being direct with what happened, so my mind could only think of the worst. He always poland things off to make them not seem as bad as they were. What if James fell and hurt himself? Overdosed on something? Only darker thoughts hit my mind.

“Like, now, this can't wait,” Lars demanded, and I had no choice but to agree.

“Yeah, I will be there as soon as I can, ok? Tell him I’ll be there soon, I don't want him to worry,” I gave in and then Lars thanked me and hung up.

Now I don't know what to do. My boss wasn't the type of person to just let me leave whenever I want, and I had already promised to Lars I would be there immediately. Though, my worries got the best of me and I quickly began to gather my stuff together. I grabbed my keys and my purse, quickly heading to my boss's office.

I always hated going in here, it was freezing since the AC was always blasted, and it reeked of musty air freshener. I gently knocked on the door before I heard his baritone voice respond, telling me to come in. I entered, seeing him sitting there, filing papers.

“Can I help you?” He said in a monotone voice, opening and shutting cabinets.

“Yes, I need to leave, like right now. ITs an emergency, family matter,” I tried to briefly explain, but it didn't take long for him to come up with a new response.

“Emergency? Of what? Is someone dying?” His eyes looked up from his papers, meeting mine as he waited for an answer.

“I… Well, I don't know,” I muttered, and it was true, I really didn't. With Lars’ vagueness, I tru;y didn't have a reason to not assume James was already on his deathbed.

“How can you not know?” He questioned me as if I was stupid, then noticing my pale and shaky look of true worry, “Fine, yes, you can go, but you're leaving three hours early. I want you working those hours back tomorrow. Understood?” He finally made an offer, and I quickly accepted without hesitation.

“Yes, thank you, and I'm sorry,” I responded with a smile and a nod, quickly leaving the office and getting to my car as fast as possible. Lars never specified where exactly the studio was, but I had been there a few times with James to hear them practice and record. I did my best to remember the way there, speeding in some places and having to make a couple U turns to figure out the exact spot. The whole time my head was buzzing, I could not think of one normal reason as to why James would want me there. He clearly didn’t like me much towards the end, even though I still like to think he never meant it and that it was only the alcohol talking, but I was probably wrong. Why did I still care so much after being so wrongfully disrespected? Part of me still loved him. Still wanted to wake up next to him every morning, hear the faint strumming of a guitar whenever I came home from work. Now those days were gone, and never looked like they would return. I still worried for the worst for James, endless horrid possibilities arising in my brain, all trying to piece the puzzle together.

When I finally pulled up, I saw two other cars out in front, not seeing James’ car, assuming Lars gave him a ride and KIrk giving Jason one. No cop cars or ambulances or fire trucks, so he isn't dying, or maybe they already left. Maybe I was too late?

I quickly got out of the car, almost running to the studio door, knocking until Lars came and opened it for me.

“Hey! There you are, took ya long eno-” Lars was quickly cut off by my own anxieties.

“Where is he? Is he ok? Was I not fast enough?” I quickly voiced out, my eyes darting around the inside and searching for him.

“Yeah, relax. He's fine. He's inside-”

“If he's fine then why did you make me come here from work?! I thought he was dying or something crazy,” I cut him off, questioning his efforts.

“No, none of that, you worry too much. He just wants to talk with you,” Lars answered, and my previous worries and a new suspicion grew in me.

“Just want to talk? Last time I talked with him he was critiquing me! He hates me! He doesn't want anything to do with me!” I voiced the feelings that had been clawing at me for months, never having anyone to tell them to.

“Or so you think. Look, just talk to him, that's all this is, ok?” Lars grew tired of my attitude and clearly I would have to give in soon.

“I want to, I want to talk to him, but I doubt he wants to talk to me,” I responded, trying to further explain my hesitations.

“I just told you that he wants to talk to you! Go in there, please!” Lars pleaded with me, and I sighed, finally agreeing.

“Ok, ok, I will,” I answered, beginning to head into the studio.

“Thank you! He's just down the hall, in that room with the sound equipment and everything,” Lars informed me, and I followed him, seeing James hunched over a table, scribbling down on a piece of paper. My heart was racing now. I hadn't seen him since that night. I didn't know what I would say to him, I was worried what he would say to me.

Then he looked up at me.

His cold, piercing blue eyes, a newfound softness in them as our eyes met. I avoided his eyes, but felt his lingering on me. Lars guided me in, shutting the door behind himself, leaving us alone. I was unsure of what to say, my eyes lingering on the floor, hearing James set down his pen.

“Uh… hi…” He started, probably just as unsure as I was.

“Hi,” I responded back shyly, avoiding his gaze, though I could still feel his own on me. The sound of footsteps approached me, instantly recognizing them as James’, and then I heard a click. Lars had locked us in here, now forced to talk.

“I.. I'm sorry, I really am,” He mumbled, and I looked up at him, seeing a true guilt in his eyes, “I wish I didn't do it, that I didn't say those things, that I didn't make you hurt so much like that… I should’ve been much more, well, mature about it. I feel like shit for everything,” James explained to me, but this only caused me to have more and more questions.

“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice still a hushed whisper as a wave of various emotions crashed down on me. “I had reasons for what I did, I just wish I went about it differently. I wish I had listened to you when you had offered me help. I didn't want to hurt you with my habits, and I couldn't break up with you, I didn't want to be the one to do that, so… so I tried to make you break up with me, and you did. Everything I said, it was a lie. I never meant it. You're a great cook, you work hard, you're just… you're amazing, you're too good for me.” James confessed, and I could feel a bit of the cold melt away, though still a hurt in my heart.

“Then why make me come and tell me all of this? This would only pour salt in that wound, no?” I was still confused at why he would make such an effort, but I still found it touching.

“Because I still love you. I want things back the way they were. I swear on everything, I've changed. I miss you more than anything-” I cut him off with a sweet kiss to his lips, and he melted into me, wrapping his arms around me in a comforting and loving embrace.

After James pulled away, he looked me in my eyes, “How could you forgive me for saying all of that to you?” He began, “Id think you would just… hate me, I was a total jerk,”

“Or so you'd think. I still love you and miss you more than you could imagine,” I responded with a small smile, and James matched mine, kissing me again. “Can… can I show you how much I've missed you?” James asked in a mumbled tone, clearly a bit embarrassed. My cheeks heated up at his offer and I giggled, nodding as our lips met a third time, a new hunger and desire now displayed. Slowly, he walked me to the table until I had backed up into it, his hands trailing up my sides until we broke away, his lips now going down my neck, eliciting a needy whine from the back of my throat, my hands pulling him closer, snaking under his shirt to trace his skin.

James’s fingers slipped under my shirt, working to get it off of my head, leaving my neck for only a second to remove the fabric before attaching himself to my sensitive flesh, feeling him suck and nibble, definitely leaving bruises. He gave a more harsh bite, causing me to whimper, then soothing it over with his tongue before pulling away. Soon his gaze focused on my breasts, still confined with my bra. His eyes met mine again, “Can I take it off?” He asked ,already reaching around my back to work on the clasp, which had become an easy task for him. I nodded, and soon the garment was now on the floor with my shirt. The cold air caused my nipples to erect immediately, and James’ eyes were locked on them, cupping the in his hands as he squeezed them and pinched at my nipples, making me make high needy sounds, causing him to smirk, kissing around the soft flesh, teasing me with every movement he made.

I began to claw at his shirt, trying to take it off of him, so he reluctantly pulled away from my chest, removing his own shirt, giving me a view I had missed more than I care to admit. My eyes dragged slowly over the newly exposed skin, and his lips crashed down on mine again, pushing me back so far I was now laying down on the table, the cold wood causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. I tugged at James’ pants, feeling myself grow wetter at the moment. He slipped down his pants, leaving him in only his boxers as you pulled down my skirt, leaving me in only my panties. I could see the bulge in his final layer grow at the new sight, and then he got on his knees, gripping the sides of my aunties and taking them off in a swift motion, leaving my glistening folds exposed to his hungry view.. His warm lips teased my thighs, kissing around the area I needed him most, making me writhe with desire. Eventually, his tongue found my center, giving it soft licks at first, parting my folds with his tongue. A moan escaped my throat, and James took it as his sign to keep going, burying his face between my thighs. He licked and sucked at my hole, probing at it with his tongue as his nose nudged my sensitive clit. My hand snaked into his long blonde locks, gripping his scalp tightly as I pulled him closer. I could hear him groan into my flesh, causing a vibration to coarse through me, making me moan again as I came closer to my first high. Eventually James moved further up, giving more attention to my aching clit, giving it gentle licks first to tease me before sucking it into his mouth, biting it softly, making me squeal from his ministrations.

“Jamei, fuck, Im gonna cum,” I whined out, tugging on hair harder, causing him to let out another low groan as he continued to feast on me. “Cum for me pretty girl,” He mumbled into my flesh, and like that my orgasm washed over me, a breathy moan falling my lips, feeling my core pulsate , releasing my grip on James’ head, allowing him to pull back.

James chin was drenched in my essence and his spit, some caught in his facial hair, wiping it off on the back of his hand. I dont think Ive seen anything hotter. His eyes landed on mine, and I noticed a lustful darkness in them, kissing me again as our tongues tangled in a battle for dominance, James winning in the end, and soon his boxers were on the ground, both of us bare in front of each other again.

JAmes broke the kiss, trailing his lips down my neck, leaving new hickeys and bruises in his wake as they now peppered my neck. I felt his tip at my entrance and I squirmed, his lips leaving my bruised flesh. “You ready, baby?” He asked, taking my hand in his, and I nodded, feeling him slowly push into me, the stretching sensation stinging my insides, a delicious stretch my body had missed as I tried to accommodate his size. Once he was to the hilt, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, squeezing his hand tightly.

I gave him a look of a need, and he gook note, slowly beginning to pump his hips, untwining our fingers as he positioned himself with better support, placing his arms on either side of my head. With every thrust a moan escaped my throat, tears pricking at my eyes from the pleasure. “Fuck, you’re so tight… haven't had anything since me, hmmm?” James whispered to me, and I could only whine in response, his calloused fingers sneaking down to my clit, brushing the bud lightly with the pad of thumb, and I began to squirm around his cock, feeling his thrusts increase with speed, more grunts falling from James.

The table I laid on creaked beneath from our frevorus movements of need, completely forgetting we were still in the studio. The band was still in that studio. This room wasn't for recording, very little sound blockers. Anyone in this building could hear us. The thought didn't pass my mind once throughout the whole experience, only focused and becoming closer with James once again, not just in body, but in our connection reforming with every minstration from either of us.

James' thrusts grew relentless, only increasing the pleasure for both of us as he chased his own high, helping me with mine, continuing to toy with and stroke my clit, moans and whines leaving me with any movement he made. “So pretty like this, baby, taking me so well,” He groaned, his small grunts and moans filling my ears like sweet music. I began to buck my hips, knowing that my orgasm was approaching, James not far behind, his vocal expression of pleasure growing in number and volume, mixing with my own mewls and moans, that and the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room, my nails clawing his back.

My eyes began to roll back, James’ name falling from my lips a thousand times as my legs wrapped around his waist, trying to pull him deeper to finally bring me to edge. James noticed and thrusted harder, hitting that special spot with every movement, making me have to cover my mouth with my hand, the unholy noises escaping me growing too loud for us to stay secret. James disapproved, “Mmmm, don't do that baby, let me hear you cum around my cock,” He cooed, and that was all the encouragement I needed to come over the edge, a high pitched moan coming from me, feeling my walls clamp down on James’ length, pulsating as waves of pleasure cascaded over me. James helped me ride through it, still rubbing my sensitive nub, his thrusts losing rhythm as he approached his own high.

“Fuck, sweetie, gonna cum inside you…” He grunted, his pace increasing as his movement became erratic with pleasure. “Take it, take it like a good girl, baby,” He moaned, his load shooting deep inside of me and painting my walls white with his seed. His hips sputtered, bucking into me as he collapsed on top of me, our sweaty foreheads clinging together as we both recovered from the intense orgasms, trying to catch our breath. James pressed soft, lazy kisses around my face, reminding me how much he loved me and how he'd never hurt me again if given the chance.

After a moment, we both had come down from our highs, James’ softening member sliding out of me with a pop. He looked down at the mess between my thighs, all evidence of our pleasure with each other. “Youre fuckin’ perfect,” He muttered, his eyes dragging over me.

“Are the groupies still better?” I teased him, remembering our bickering that was one real, or so I thought it was real fighting.

“Oh, hell no, they don't stand a chance to this,” He responded with a smile, and I smiled back.

We cleaned up, slipping back on our clothes so we were somewhat presentable. Only now did the realization that we were never once alone in this studio and the rest of the band was outside had hit me. A wave of embarrassment flowed over me, my cheeks flushing even more than they were before given the previous activities. Both James and I looked quite disheveled, our hair a mess and clothes wrinkled. I tried to shake off whatever nervousness I had in me as James put his arm around me. We went to reach for the door handle, only to find out it was still locked. Now it would be even more awkward. James knocked on the door from the inside, calling out to Lars, or anyone else in the studio.

“Guys? Lars? Can someone unlock the door?” And it wasn't long before footsteps approached, hearing a key click as the door swung open, Lars, more curious than ever eyed both my own and James’ appearance, noticing the hickeys, the slight wobble I gave, and any other imperfections that we might have displayed.

“I take it you two worked things out?”

— — — — > A FEW WEEKS LATER…

It had taken some time, a lot of talking, and more than just one hook up for James and I to work out any other issues that we had with each other. We met up a lot in the recent weeks after that, discussing different ways on how to help James with his drinking, and just trying to regain eachothers trust.

Soon enough though, James had moved back in with me. I kept my office space, but now the room was split in two halves. I worked in one half, while James did his guitar work in the other half. It was a fairly large room, so we both had our own spaces and rarely bothered each other. If I had a work call or anything that required silence, James would just migrate to the living room.

It was the same old schedule we had all those months ago, and I was now returning from work. It was Friday, now I would have plenty of time to relax and be with James. I pulled into the driveway, parking and getting out of my car as I walked up to the porch, the click of my heels following my steps on the cement. The lights were on, the door unlocked. I could hear a faint strumming coming from inside, meaning James was hard at work on new material for the album. It was my favorite thing to listen to while doing work assignments at home.

I walked in with a huff, setting down my purse and keys on the counter before heading to the shared office space. James wasn't playing much, just sounded like scales and chords for his warm ups. “How was work, baby?” James greeted me, still focused on his guitar. “It was a bit tiring, but it was good. I think my boss is starting to like me,” I answered, settling into my chair. He nodded in response, going back to fiddling with the strings.

It wasn't until a little later a soft, sweet and melodic tune had hit my ears. Much different than what Metallica normally plates. James hummed along to it, almost like he had lyrics already written out. But knowing him, he probably did.

“What are you playing? It sounds really nice,” I started, listening to a few more notes before continuing, “It's not what you guys normally play,” I commented, and James let out a deep hum in response. “Just something new I'm working on,” He replied, and I nodded, getting back to work.

Only this time, I couldn't focus. Normally James’s music helped me to focus, becoming a comforting background noise. This time though, I couldn't get my mind off of that melody. He kept going, and each second I kept getting more and more captivated by it.

“That songs really pretty, I like it,” I said, scribbling down whatever notes I couldnt on a piece of paper. “Thanks, it's actually, uhm..” He trailed off, and I knew something was up. I spun around in my chair, going to face him. “It's what?” I asked, confused by his shy demeanor.

“It's called ‘Nothing Else Matters’,” He stated, finally stopping picking at the strings. “Nothing Else Matters?” I repeated, connecting whatever the lyrics might be in my head to the melody. Normally their slower, melodic songs were dark and heavy topics, so I expected the same with this one.

“Yeah,” James answered, “I wrote the lyrics about you, actually,” He muttered softly, though I still picked it up. “About me?” I questioned, slightly shocked. “Yeah… I've thought a lot about, well, everything recently. Ever since that point a few months back I've reflected and everything… Rumors spread, and I just want everyone out there to get the right idea,” He paused, searching for the right words, “I want people out there to know that you're all I care about, you mean more than the world to me, and I want everyone to know that,” He stated, his tone true and emotional. I had never heard him say sweeter words to me, and I knew that he was speaking nothing other than the truth, I could see it in his eyes, there's a way to read people, and James wasn't easy to read, but you soon could learn the lingo.

“That means a lot to me, Jamie,” I answered, smiling at him. I got up from my chair to sit next to him on the couch, leaning against him. “Thank you,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. “You don't need to thank me, sweetheart,” James responded, wrapping his arm around me.

And now, I knew my whole world was whole again. What was once hatred, or so I thought was hatred, was once again love, everything as it should be.

#metallica fanfiction #j4h7 #metallica smut #metallica x reader #james hetfield smut #james hetfield x you #James hetfeild x reader]#James hetfield #metallica #Metallica fanfic #this is so long #I love you annon #James hetfeild fanfic #megadeth #metal #Metallica x you

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madamechrissy · 4 months ago

Text

Up in The Air

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ Suguru Geto x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Little violence here. Breeding kink (Suguru needs twins duhh) Car blow jobs, cunnilingus, rough sex, hair pulling, very very very sexy Sugu (help my ovaries)

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ You have been jilted at the altar by your abusive groom, Mahito, who has led you on for years. Your best friends, Maki and Yuta, suggest to go on this Honeymoon alone, to get away and find yourself again. On the plane ride, you run into a gorgeous man on a business trip, who holds your hand when you say that you're terrified of planes, Suguru Geto. You all fall into easy conversation, and there's chemistry, he makes you feel better than you had in a long time. You think to ask his number, when he realizes that his room has fallen through.

Well, you have a big honeymoon suite, and you suggest he stays with you. What can go wrong? Not like you don't wanna straddle him or anything...

Chapter 9 - Masterlist

Chapter 10

You stand outside Mahito’s house the next day, watching as Suguru marches up to the door, one hand holding yours in its big grip. He’s so tall, so powerful, and you realize that you’ve never seen him like this before, in pure fucking anger. It’s intimidating, but also incredibly hot, the normally calm Suguru Geto just on fire right now.

Fuck you love him.

He’s banging on the door loudly with three sure knocks, and when Mahito opens it, his face drops when he sees him in confusion, but when he looks at you, he smirks instead, making you feel disgusted. As you look at Mahito’s little frame and then look at Suguru’s tall, broad form you’re confused that you found Mahito attractive, he looks like a little boy compared to him.

You’d had the image but now you see them, Suguru towering over him in the doorway.

“Aww, coming to bring her back? Do you have a receipt maybe, I don’t know… she looks more damaged now.” His eyes assess you, and you instantly feel awful, but Suguru smirks at him, walking right past him to his house.

Mahito’s house is a chaotic mess, lines of coke just sitting on a black tray on his table, clothes scattered everywhere. Suguru cracks his knuckles, the sound echoing in the room, even through the loud music Mahito is blaring. He rolls his blue eyes, swiping back his long light blue hair, and you can’t believe you found any affection from him, he’s clearly so cold.

“Yeah, come right in.” He shuts the door, crossing his arms then, in a ripped up shirt while Suguru is wearing a goddamn suit looks so fucking hot you can’t even deal with it.

You really upgraded, you think with a little smile.

“What’s got the stupid smile on your face? Getting used like a whore got you that happy over there-” And that’s when Suguru grabs him by the neck, slamming him into the wall so hard you can hear the thud echo. You flinch a bit at that.

“Keep your mouth shut, before it’s permanently shut. Got me?” Mahito is strangled then, clinging to Suguru’s hand to breathe, turning red.

Mahito laughs maniacally like a psycho as Suguru lets him down, coughing and rubbing his throat. "Ah, the new boyfriend. You're really playing this role huh?" Mahito says, his eyes glinting with malicious amusement.

"You're gonna regret the day you laid a finger on her," Suguru growls, his voice a deep rumble that sends shivers down your spine, but Mahito just smirks, his eyes flickering with something dark.

"I don't know what you're talking about, she begged for me.” Suguru scoffs, grinning then and looking over behind his shoulder at you.

“She only begs for me.” That makes you giggle, and you see Mahito finally glare over at you. “I should thank you, for letting her go finally. But… nah.” Then Suguru slams his fist into his stomach with a swift move.

“Oh my-fuck!” He cries out, huffing, holding his stomach bent over and honestly pathetic. Your torn between thinking Suguru is hot as fuck, being disturbed by the violence, and a little bit of sickness at such a thing.

It is mostly Suguru being super hot, though.

"You think I'm playing a role? This isn't a fucking game." Suguru's fists are clenched, his knuckles white with rage, and Mahito stumbles back, sneering.

"Look at you, fighting for nothing. She’s nothing.”

“You want her awfully bad, don’t you? Why don’t you admit it, that she was too good for you, so out of your league you had to manipulate her.” Suguru’s words run through you as he is snatching up Mahito by his shirt.

Mahito just looks right at you, somehow still grinning. He was truly crazy, you know that punch had to have hurt. “Her mouth was pretty good-”

"You're a pathetic excuse for a man, just a whiny little bitch." Suguru has punched him again, this time even harder, and you wonder if the crunch you hear is him breaking a rib.

“You know her mouth is good, has she shown you yet? I taught her everything she knows.” He blows a kiss, somehow still standing and laughing, fuck dude is disturbed, and you were with him.

Suguru pauses, and you see the veins in his neck pulse. “Suguru… maybe that’s enough?” You murmur then, but you see his dilated eyes, like pure black nearly the pupils are so big.

“Aw, you still care sweetheart? Are you desperate for him like you were me? Begging for a touch?”

You glare over at Mahito. “Never mind, go for it,” you say, and Suguru has his hand back on his throat, shoving him up on the wall.

"I like you feisty, hmm. Kinda making you attractive.” Mahito is speaking even as Suguru’s hand tightens.

“Listen, this is just a warning. Stay away, or I’ll bring my friends, and I promise you’ll regret not taking this offer.” Suguru lets him go again, after shoving him onto the floor.

Mahito laughs, the sound grating and cold. "You think you know her? She's pathetic, and she'll come crawling back to me when she's had enough of your pity fucks."

The words are like a slap in the face, and you flinch. Suguru's eyes narrow, and he bends over and hits Mahito again, sending him sprawling to the ground. You wince a bit, the hit so hard it had to hurt, and finally Mahito’s just coughing up on the floor, and his laughter is gone.

“You don’t get to manipulate her anymore. All because you wish you could have ever gotten anyone like her, this is the only way you can, isn’t it?”

“Fucking… she’s not yours. She won’t ever be. She knows I’m the only one who will take her as broken as she is.”

“She doesn’t want you. And if you touch her again, I’ll make sure that hand will never fucking work. I’ll shatter it so you can’t even jerk yourself to the thought of her. You think you were ever good enough?” Suguru is on his knee now, pulling him by his collar, and Mahito finally sighs, looking at you, then him, saying nothing.

“Sugu… maybe time to…” You’re murmuring, and Suguru nods, letting Mahito go, and he falls with a thud to the ground, coughing up, suddenly quiet.

“Princess, you don’t want to hit him? I’ll hold him for you.” Suguru’s dangerous glint in his eyes shows you an entire new side of him, as he protects you, as he cares for you, and you fall deeper, in the living room of your ex.

You had faced so much abuse, mentally…

Now physically.

But…

“I can’t.” You whisper, and Mahito is staring up at you in confusion, brows drawn together, and Suguru sighs, letting him go.

“Touch her pretty face again and I’ll make you look unrecognizable. Don’t come near her. Got it?” Mahito says nothing, he is still staring at you, and the look makes you shiver in fright for some reason.

“Let’s go, Sugu.” You say again, softly, holding out your hand for him, and he takes it, leading you out, and you can just feel the eerie stare like a hole burned in your back.

“You all right, Princess?” Suguru asks softly, and you nod, clinging to him then, electricity rushing through your veins like nothing you’ve ever felt.

“I love you, Suguru Geto.” Is all you whisper, and he exhales then, picking you up and holding you off the floor, you’re just dangling there, arms wrapped around his neck, enwrapping in his silky hair.

“I love you, Princess. I hope I didn’t scare you… I held myself back.”

“That was holding back!?”

“Oh yeah. Wanted to fucking kill him.” You tremble a bit, and he carries you to the car then, popping you on the hood for a moment and kissing you right on it, in front of the quiet neighborhood, in front of Mahito’s house.

You feel so good in his arms, strong and safe, and you ache to be there forever, brushing his long, silky hair back and kissing him over and over, sighing as you feel the adrenaline in your veins from how good you feel. Then you shiver, and see the blinds open and you freeze. Suguru looks down at you, caressing your face gently.

“Ready to come to my place?” You nod, focusing on him now, and he pouts a bit, running his hands down your arms gently. “It’ll be okay, I’ll keep you safe.”

You exhale, falling against him and letting him hold you close, you inhale his perfect scent, the intoxicating sandalwood that always lingers, as his big arms hold you so tightly. You do feel safe, even with Mahito’s gaze burning a damn hole in your back, you just worry that you’ve brought Suguru trouble, and you hate that.

“Let’s go, love.” You swoon at the word damn near, and nod, sliding into his fancy sports car, and soon you’re back on the highway, as the morning sun keeps rising, brightening everything around you all.

“I’m so excited!” He chuckles a bit.

“I should have brought you last night but we were…” His hand is on your bare thigh, fingers gripping the soft inner part. “Occupied.”

Your heart flutters in your chest, but as you look down at his hand you frown, seeing the knuckles all reddened and chafed. “Are you okay, Sugu?”

“I used to get into brawls, that was nothing.” You tilt your head curiously, watching two pieces of hair fall out of his bun then. You realize you still have so much to learn about him.

“Can I clean these up?”

“If you want to, Princess. I’m good though.” He smiles at you, and your heart flutters at the look in his eyes. “I won’t let him touch you. If you gotta move in…”

“Suguru! That’s crazy talk though, yeah?”

“I don’t know, is it?” Your mouth drops open, and he focuses on the road now as you all drive, squeezing your thigh now with his big hand.

“You can’t just have me move in to protect me. I don’t think he’ll really hurt me, I think he-”

“He already hurt you.” He says with a glare, and you sigh, because he’s right, you don’t really know what he’s capable of. “Something about him is fucked. How the fuck did you think that was a good dude to be with? No offense, please love. But…”

“No, I never thought he was a good dude. It was that I thought he was what I deserved though, shit better than I deserved.” Your voice is quiet as he continues driving, you watch his hand clutch the steering wheel, the perfect jawline clench.

“I hate that you felt that way.”

“It’s because… well, my dad left me, so it fucked my mentality.” You look away a bit, and he squeezes your thigh reassuringly again.

“I heard some in your sleep, I didn’t wanna pry.” He says softly, and you feel embarrassed, as your mind whirls.

“You did?”

“Yeah, but I wanted to wait for you to tell me. I don’t want to hear something you didn’t want me to know yet. So I just pushed it away.” You all come to a red light, and the soft glow of the sun makes Suguru’s golden skin glow so beautifully. You scooch closer, caressing his cheek, watching his dark lashes lower over those chocolate eyes of his.

“Thank you for that, really. I was planning to get into that soon.” You kiss his lips as the light goes green, and he pulls you against him, huffing a breath.

“Whenever, Princess.”

“Dad left me and mom when I was young, and well… I tried to connect with him, I didn’t wanna believe he’d just leave. So I was a brat you know, to mom, I feel horrible.”

“You were a kid.”

“I know. But…”

“Nah, a kid doesn’t know or realize why someone would do something so shitty, so don’t put that on yourself. You put enough.” You blink back emotion, snuggling against his strong arm now, sighing.

“Thank you for that, Sugu.”

“Anything for you, Princess.” He murmurs, kissing your head then, and you inhale his scent, letting it fill your senses, as you feel his warmth.

“I tried to connect and eventually he came out and said he had never wanted me, wanted a kid at all.”

“Oh fuck…”

“Yeah. Um, that hurts.”

“No shit that hurts. Fuck him.” You giggle then, unexpedtedly, peeking up at his perfect profile. “Fuck whoever didn’t want you, first off, second off how do you not want your own kid?”

“I agree, if I have a kid I want to be the best mom ever.”

“I bet you will cry over all their boo-boos.”

“Hey!” He’s grinning, looking so damn handsome you have to peck more kisses along his cheek bone. “You’re right though.”

“You want kids?”

“Yes, I’ve always wanted to be a mom. You seem to wanna make me one!?” He chuckles again, and you giggle along with him, as you come to another red light, and he plants a soft kiss on your lips, hand sliding higher and making you ache.

“I’ve never thought about it until my best friend got his wife pregnant, when I was on that vacation with the prettiest woman ever.” You flush bright pink at that, as he purrs the damn words.

“You’re too charming, should be illegal.”

“Mmm, it should be illegal to look that good.”

“Flatterer!”

“No, because I mean it, Princess.” You sigh, running a hand along the back of his neck, against his silken hair.

“I love you, Suguru Geto. You make everything in my past seem like… stepping stones almost, to get to you.” He exhales at that, eyeing you carefully, emotion on his features clear as day.

“That’s what they are, but I wish you didn’t have to go through any of it. I wish I could take all your hurt away.”

“Oh, Sugu… I’ll never stop crying if you’re so sweet!”

“I’ll stop being sweet then.” He murmurs, then he’s sliding his hand up, finding you under your skirt, soaking wet. You whine then, as you grow wet so quickly it’s embarrassing, and he groans as he feels it. “You’re fucking soaked.”

“Mnh!” Is all you manage, as his finger circles your little clit, and your hips jerk up, craving more of his touch, and your hand starts sliding to his lap, rubbing him over his slacks, feeling the bulge already pressing.

“Fuck.” Is all he murmurs, then he sucks in a breath as you unzip him, flipping your position until you’re on your knees in the seat. “Princess…”

“Let me suck you, please Sugu?” You pout up at him as he comes to a stop for a moment, then he curses under his breath.

“How am I gonna say no to this offer?” You grin as he helps release himself, his thick cock springing out when he undoes his pants and yanks down his boxers. You damn near drool, bending down and licking hip up his length, following the vein that wraps his cock. He groans out, hand shaky as it brushes your hair back. “Jesus fucking christ, Princess.”

“Mmm. Yummy.” You whisper, and he’s driving on the road, while your head is bobbing, and he rolls up the tinted windows then, kicking on the air as you suck him up and down, swirling on the tip.

“F-fuck! You’re doing so good, love.” He murmurs, and it urges you on, as one of your hands starts pumping up and down and you focus on the tip, tongue on the sensitive ridge of his, lapping up salty precum. He’s inhaling and exhaling so loud, as his hand grips in your hair now, and you’re soaking wet, dribbling out of your little hole, down your thighs.

The engine of the car hums as you suck him off, eager and desperate to taste him, to please him, to hear his every moan and sigh. Suguru’s cock is thick in your mouth, twitching as you suck hard, your cheeks hollowing, making his hand tighten in your hair, and you moan around his cock, the vibrations sending shivers through his body.

“Princess, oh my god- I- will you slow down!?” You pull away with a popping sound, licking your lips and peeking up at him, his adam’s apple bobbing, hand in your hair even tighter.

“Too much, Sugu?” You tease, earning a glare, and it just urges you on. “You can eat me out and make me cum like five times, let me get you off.”

“Not this quick, nuh uh.”

“Yes, huh.” You both glare, but as you stroke his cock, twisting your little hand you watch him melt. “I wanna swallow your cum. Let me.”

“Where did you come from? I’ll never know.” He gently strokes your cheek, as he hits another light, and at that point that touch alone gets you close to cumming, the thrill of being in this car, the taste of him, it’s all too much. “Let me just…”

Suguru’s hand reaches around, and now he’s playing with your cunt, sinking a finger in, watching as you shiver, as you whimper out from pleasure, gushing down his hand, before sticking his fingers back in his mouth, moaning as he sucks your arousal off. “Sugu! Why do you gotta be so hot!?”

“Says you. You want all this cum in that throat, Princess?” You nod, eagerly, then he grips your hair, arching up his hips and shoving his cock so deep, you drool as you suck it down, eagerly taking his cock down to the base, your throat tightening around him. He’s fucking your mouth now, your nose brushing his pelvis, and he’s groaning, breathless.

He’s back to touching you again, only to suck on his fingers, tasting you each time, and the way he wants to so desperately urges you on more, as you swallow around his cock, your throat working, taking as much of him as you can. You feel his cock swell, his balls tighten under your touch as you drool down them, his thighs tense under the hand braced there.

Fuck he’s sexy.

“You’re too good at this, mmm- ah - Princess. You’re so good.” You eat up every bit of his praise, as you feel him throbbing now, and you know he’s close. “I’m gonna cum, fuck, back up, don’t want you- hey! I said- ah fuck, you’re such a brat!”

You don’t back up, you know he worries about choking you, but you’re so ready, as your cunt is so wet and there’s pressure in your tummy, just from sucking him. Suguru starts to spurt his hot, thick cum into your mouth, and you take all of it, your throat contracting as you swallow everything.

“F-fuck…” His breathy cry shows you how sensitive he is, as you ease up, lapping every bit up and pressing little kisses to his tip, he jerks, sensitive, as you finally sit up, licking your lip.

“Yummy.” You murmur, and his lidded eyes drink you in, pulling over to the side of the road then, and your giggle is stopped when he slams his lips on yours, hands pulling your hair back roughly. “Mnh!”

“What do you do to me?” He whispers softly, cupping your face in his big hands, as cars whirl past you all. Your pussy is soaked when he’s touching you again, endlessly teasing your little clit, to where you can’t take it anymore.

“Suguru, I'm dying. Let’s get to your place. Please.” Suguru is kissing down your throat, and you’re crying out as his wet, hot lips decorate the delicate skin, your head tilting to the side.

“Wanna lick you right here.” His husky words do more damage to your already addled mind, as you lose sense of where you even are.

“How far? Mnh!” He nips your neck, his hands squishing your breasts in his grip, your nipples hardening to little peaks against his palms, your own hands are gripping his shoulders so tight.

“Twenty minutes. Ugh. Need you though.” You’re both desperate, as you kiss messily, teeth clicking together. “When you get there I don’t know if I’ll let you leave.”

“You gonna kidnap me? Yandere much?” He laughs, as do you now.

“You’re such a little nerdy brat.” You both kiss again, a little easier now. “I can’t ever get enough of you.” His eyes are dilated now, blown out, and you see him hardening again, making your eyes dart to it, then back to his, he flushes.

“I can do it more?” He groans, shaking his head.

“No, no, uh uh. Can’t take more, I’ll fucking wreck the car. Too good at it.” He speaks through gritted teeth, and you can’t stop the blissful, flushed feeling you get from his words, his touch, his energy. You bite your lower lip, hands sliding up his hard chest, sighing.

“Then let’s get to your place. Need the tour.”

***

You don’t see much of his house at first, it’s little glimpses more than anything, as you and Suguru Geto tear into each other, lips melding, until he turns you, your ass against him, kissing down the side of your neck. It’s tickling and tingling, every nerve ending is on fire as you focus, trying to take in the sleek, modern home Suguru lives in, beautiful and wide open.

“Oh fuck, it’s so pretty here, Sugu.” You murmur softly, he’s too busy touching you to respond more than a little grunt in your ear. Your hands hold his as his arms wrap around you, drinking in every detail now, noticing little paintings along the wall over the pretty fireplace. “Ooh!”

“Knew you’d like those.” He murmurs, and you turn to look up at him, damn near with hearts in your eyes, you adore him so much it just hurts.

“Can I go see?” You ask softly, Suguru nods, and comes to your side, guiding you by holding your hand. “Who even has fireplaces?”

He smirks at that. “I’ve only used it once. We could try it tonight?”

“That would be so cool!”

“You’re adorable.” You lean up on your tiptoes, to get a better view of the pretty paintings that adorn them, noting the oil texture, and you gently run your fingers on the air over it, not touching, but you can feel it, the emotion in them. The room is cool, as the air blows gently down your skin, sending a slight chill, making you shiver as you look at them intently.

“These are gorgeous. Who is the artist? I see no signature.�� Suguru sobers up a bit then, and you look at him curiously, as he hunches just a bit, a hand running through silken locks, long and blown in various directions from the drive. You gently touch his arm then. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, of course it is.” He gives you a small little smile, one that breaks your heart then, with the sadness in his eyes pouring through. “My mother did these.”

His mother.

Fuck you know nothing yet, do you? You see the hurt clear as day and it breaks you, as you feel your throat tighten with the emotion, as you feel his energy. You look back to the beautiful paintings, the one in the middle catches your eye, it’s a dark figure but swirled with stars, as if the person was just outer space itself. It was so well done, and you could feel the passion she poured into it.

“Suguru, she was so talented, truly. I look at art all day. This is so beautiful, you can feel the… longing almost? The open mind, was she a bit of a daydreamer?” His mouth parts, and you tense then. “Shit, I should not assume! I shouldn’t-”

“No, she was. Um. She was always one with her nose in a book, head in the clouds, kind of spacey in places.” His voice takes a pained tone, and he sighs a bit, looking down.

“Like a dreamy smile on her face?” You ask, his eyes lock on yours, going wide then for a moment.

“How could you know that?” He asks, and you step a little closer, hands gently holding his own, feeling how stiff they’ve gone.

“Art can tell you so much about a person. I bet she was so beautiful. One day, if you want, you should show me. Is that okay to ask?” His eyes glitter then, and he opens his mouth, then closes it, as you realize you must have overstepped. “Oh my god, please don’t feel you have to. I don’t want to be disrespectful.”

“No, you’re not.” He says stiffly, and then he looks back at the painting, then back down at you. “When are you gonna show me your art?”

“I’ll show you whenever you want. At my apartment it’s there, but we were… occupied.” You blush, and he smiles just a bit.

“You remind me of her? Is that weird to say?” Suguru’s voice breaks you, and you can’t stop the fresh tears that build in your eyes.

“No, not at all. That’s a huge compliment. I imagine who raised a man like you was an incredible person.” Suguru turns away then, covering his face with a hand, and you gently touch his back.

“I don’t ever really talk about this.”

“You don't have to. I’m too much! Please… I’m so sorry-”

“No.” He turns now, taking you in his arms, and you see the redness right around his eyes, as he bends down, holding you so tightly. “Mom would have loved you. I wish… fuck.”

“Suguru, I’m so sorry.” Tears pour down your cheeks as your heart aches for him, and then he’s kissing you, drinking the salty tears up, and you cling to him tightly.

“I don’t… talk about them. Ever.” He whispers, and you shatter, you hurt so badly for the man you love, it’s like you feel it all, his grief, what he holds in.

“It hurts to talk about them, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it does, but then… I should remember them. How did I not realize how similar you two are?” He kisses your forehead sweetly, exhaling, as you two hold each other in front of the fireplace, soft lights from outside filtering through.

“I wish I could have met her too. I’d thank her for having you.”

“Why do you do this!? It’s not manly to fucking cry.” You both laugh through your emotion, and he’s cupping your face, shaking his head as he studies you. “You bring out too many things in me.”

“You do too, Suguru.”

“No, you’re a little open book, miss tears.” He swipes them away as he speaks, and you tremulously smile. “I fall deeper every moment.”

“Suguru, so do I. Every second I breathe, I fall more.” He takes your lips back in his, gently holding you close, and you fell into the embrace so easily, fuck nothing feels more right than being here, in his arms.

“I would love to show you some photos sometime. And talk more.”

“Really!?” He nods, and you smile brightly, his breath catches, chocolate eyes lidded then.

“You’re the most beautiful person there is. You know that?” You look down, flushing with his praise, but he tilts your chin up. “You are.”

“Thank you, Suguru Geto. You make me feel beautiful every day. I don’t even know what life was before you.” Your arms wrap around his neck, popping little kisses along his jawline, feeling him tense now, your breasts pressed on his chest.

“I feel this place was lonely without you.” He says then, and your heart pounds in your chest, as you snuggle into his warm embrace.

“Oh Sugu, that’s how I feel about my place. Lonely now. We really got spoiled with that trip.” His lips are hot on your cheeks, as he plants kisses across your face gently.

“We did. Are you hungry, love? Thirsty?” You nod, and he chuckles, breath tickling your neck. “Which one?”

“Both. For you.” Your eyes lock onto his, and you watch those full lips part open, his gaze getting glazed over, you feel him getting tense against you.

“I wanted to kill him today.” The change in subject surprises you, and your eyes dart up to his serious face nervously, making you gulp a bit, throat dry. “I want to kill him, still, for everything he fucking did.”

“Suguru, I’m yours though. Yours.” He exhales, then he’s picked you up, and you cling to him, legs around his hips, his hands gripping your ass tightly.

“All mine, and no one else can touch you.” His words send shivers down your spine, and now you remember just how wet you were, how ready. How much you crave to fall in his arms, always.

“Show me that bed, Sugu.” You whisper against his lips, and before you know it you’re up the stairs, and you’re pressed against a huge, soft bed, with black and red blankets and pillows.

“Didn’t I promise you’d love when I pushed your head into it?” Suguru’s voice makes you tremble with need, you eagerly lick your lower lip and turn around, ass in the air, Suguru’s sharp intake of breath urges you.

“Like this, Sugu?” Your head falls, ass pressing back, then he grips you tightly, shoving your skirt up and yanking down your panties, all sticking to you.

“What good have I done to earn you in my bed like this?” He’s pulling you then, to the edge of the bed, your knees up and spread, and you’re open and waiting, shaking as you feel his breath on your cunt, just that alone has you whimpering. “Mmm, are you so easy for me, Princess? Haven’t licked you yet.”

“I could cum from a flick. I'm so sensitive.” You grumble, and he’s chuckling now, even more hot breaths as he grabs your ass, hands digging in and squishing as you jerk like crazy, wetness drooling down your lips.

“Let’s see if it’s true.” Then he’s there, his tongue sliding along your slit, making you jolt and arch up, grip the bed tightly.

“Sugu!” You cry out, legs trembling at how good it feels, and he keeps licking you, his hot tongue so fucking good as he’s tasting you, his teeth scraping your little clit, his chin against your entrance.

“You taste s’good, mmm.” He whispers against your folds, between more sloppy kisses, and you bite your lip to keep from screaming out, your eyes rolling back, your hips rocking back to meet his mouth.

You start to cum hard, and he keeps licking, keeps working you, until your thighs are trembling and your knees threaten to give out, but he’s got you, his arms around you, holding you up, his mouth never leaving your pussy, never letting you go. Your legs are just giving out, toes curling up under knee high socks he hadn’t taken off yet, fabric brushing the blankets with each movement.

“Suguru! Oh my- I- ngh!” You let out strangled, muffled cries, face still pressed in the bed as you shatter, as your oversensitive cunt is just gushing all over his face. You can hear him lapping you up, sipping your cum, before you hear him unbuckle his belt, and you get even wetter, craving him to fill you.

“Need you, now, Princess.” His voice is gruff, you arch your ass more, making him suck in a breath, then he’s got his cock in his hand, guiding it into your eager hole. Fuck he’s so deep like this, slamming through your slit straight to your cervix, making you scream out, pushing up on your arms.

“Suguru, so so good, yes, yes.” You’re mumbling incoherently, and he grips the skirt you still wear, using it to anchor himself deeper, in a brutal thrust that nearly knocks you over, and it pushes you over the edge again. “Ah!”

“Can you take it rough, love? Need to… claim… you’re mine…” He’s frenzied, as he struggles to hold back, sliding in and out of your cunt as gently as he can. You peek back at him, still in his dress shirt, his beautiful hair flowing over his handsome features, and your cunt throbs around his cock, as you nod.

“I can take it. Swear. Want it.” You urge him on, hearing his moan behind you, desperate grip on your hip as he starts pounding into you, the sound of skin smacking loud in Suguru’s big bedroom.

“If it’s too much… Tap me yeah?” You nod, then he’s pressing your head down into the mattress and fucking into you, bruising your cervix with each thrust as you’re cumming all around his thick length, as he’s stretching you, and you feel yourself clenching around him, close again. “Fuck you feel so good. Made for me, aren’t you Princess?”

He lifts your head, and you catch a quick breath, as he’s pulling your hair so hard tears prick your eyes, but you love it, you nod eagerly as he’s pulling, cumming all over his cock, his thighs, down to the pants still half on him. He’s sucking in a breath, the hand gripping your hip digging even deeper, thumb against your hip bone pressing and giving you even more pain, but fuck you love it.

“Sugu… sugu… mnh!” You can’t manage to speak, as you see little stars, as he’s fucking you brutal, and you don’t even know how you’re taking it, but you want more, so much more. “Y-yes, yes!”

“Perfect - ah - fuck you’re-” Suguru breaks off with a shaky groan, pushing in and rocking then, he feels himself bottom out in you, and you’re squeezing him like a vice, so tight he can’t move for a moment. “Princess…”

“Sugu…” You whine out, your voice is shaky and hoarse, as your toned thighs are shaking under you. Sugaru’s hands slide down the sides of them, feeling the muscles contract as you back your round ass up for more, he yanks those thigh highs down, to feel more. Fuck he loves your legs, loves your ass, loves your entire body, especially when it’s melting under him.

“Need you naked.” He murmurs, and then he’s pulled out for just a moment, unzipping your skirt to reveal that perfect ass of yours, the one that jiggles so goddamn good, and those sexy dimples in your back. He pulls you to your knees, to slip the top over your head, his hands running over your ribcage, to grip right under your bouncy breasts.

“Suguru, I love you.” You whisper softly, and you’re grinding on his thigh with your hot, soppy cunt, drooling on his pant leg. Huh. Suguru still has those on? He is too absorbed with feeling every inch of you to notice. He feels every inch of you as he lets you grind eagerly.

“I love you, Princess.” He murmurs, then he’s sliding his cock back inside you, as you’re on your knees, and now he holds your firm hips, urging you to bounce on his cock, and you whine out, barely able to grind. He chuckles, inhaling your scent, as he brushes your hair off your delicate neck. “Can’t move, love?”

“N-no, too much. Thighs hurt.” You mumble, and he’s rubbing them then, pressing his fingers into the muscles, so tense, and you shiver, head falling back against his chest. “Mmnh, thank you.”

“Mmhmm.” He bucks his hips up, watching your mouth open wide, eyes scrunching together as you turn your head towards him, and he feels your walls fluttering, making him sensitive. “Better?”

“Y-yes. Mnh…” You can barely speak, Suguru loves getting you here, fuck he loves watching you fall apart for him, loves feeling your abdomen tense, loves feeling that bulge as he slides in so deep. He’s pressing hard, and you’re screaming out, pausing your movements, shaking.

“I can feel my cock here, can you Princess?” He takes your little hand, putting it on your lower tummy, and you gasp as you feel his cock, eyes opening wide to look back at him. Cock drunk eyes, glittering, so beautiful it makes him closer just from that look of yours.

“That’s your- ah!” He shoves up deep again, grinning as your hand presses in, as you feel him, and you start losing the last bit of control.

“You feel it, don’t you?” You nod, grinding on him now, and he’s losing his own control, you’re so hot, wet and tight, your hand clutching his as he moves.

“I feel it. Oh my- cumming- Sugu cum in me. Please.” You beg now, and who is he to turn down such a pretty offer?

Suguru can’t wait till that flat tummy is round with him.

“Cum in you, you want me to fill you up?”

“Please, please… put those babies in- ah- me!” You beg now, and you feel your every nerve on fire, everywhere he touches is making your muscles tense, your body is going weak, twitching as you feel his huge bulge in your tummy.

“You’ll look so fucking beautiful, filled with me.” His husky voice kills you, and now he grabs your face with one hand, slamming his firm lips on yours, and you’re screaming out into them, letting him drink your cries. You’re shattering around him, blinded by the force of your orgasm, and then he’s pushing your hips down, and pumping in you, groaning.

His hot cum fills you up so full, you can’t even take it, so hot as it coats your walls, you feel his panting breaths on your lips, feel him shiver under you as his cock twitches. Your aftershocks are milking his cock for every bit sucking that cum up in deep, making him softly whine out, so sexy you can’t take it.

“You ovulating or something? Fuck.” He groans out, and you giggle.

“I wouldn’t know. Why?”

“It’s like you want all this cum, sucking me dry.” You giggle again, leaning your head back on him, your entire body weak from your exertions.

“I think I always am for you. Ever since you said you wanted twins in here.” You pull up his hand, putting it on your tummy.

“It would be so sexy round with me. It’s true.”

“Freaky Sugu.”

“Says you.” You’re bright pink, as he eases out of you, making both of you hiss out a bit at the sensation. “Did I go too rough?”

“No, I liked it rougher.” You’re even pinker now, and he smirks.

“You’re so cute. My little virgin.”

“Not at all now! You’ve done all kinds of things.” He chuckles, caressing your cheeks gently.

“Still lots to try with you, pretty.” Your mind runs rampant, but soon he’s helping you clean up, being so gentle and careful with you, it melts you. “Ah she’s all red.”

“I don’t care, she’ll be okay.” He just shakes his head, grinning up at you, stopping your heart with how gorgeous he looks, how much you adore him damn near constricting your throat. You brush his hair back, all wild and messy from fucking into you, he kisses the hand that caresses him.

“Shower?” You nod, and then his phone goes off. He peeks at it, sighing. “Your bestie?”

Suguru snorts, rolling his eyes. “Of course it is. Is it okay-”

“Of course!”

He kisses your cheek, swiping a thumb along the screen, and he puts his friend right on speaker. “Hey Satoru.”

“Sugu! Buddy you put a baby in her yet?” Suguru is bright red, and you are too, to the tips of your ears, looking to Suguru in shock.

“You’re… on speaker, Satoru.” He mumbles, and now you really wanna know just how close these two are.

“Oh shit, hey island babe!” You giggle at the deep voice on the other end, rolling your eyes a bit.

“Hello, Gojo. How are you?”

“How are you? Bet he fucked up your-”

“Satoru!” Suguru growls out, and you hear raucous laughter.

“Sorry, sorry. You good though? I heard some asshole touched you. Need me to pay him a visit?” He doesn’t even know you and he already would protect you, something about that makes your heart swell. You snuggle up to Suguru then, and he wraps an arm around you.

“I’m good now, Suguru decked his ass.” Gojo laughs at that.

“Good, but if it happens again he’s so fucked. Mmm, listen I called because we’re doing a get together at our place. I’d love you to come meet everyone.”

“I would love to!”

“We’ll be there.”

“Good deal. See you heathens tomorrow, I can’t wait for the wifey to meet you.”

“I can’t wait to meet her!”

“Have fun, brats.” Satoru hangs up then, and you look at Suguru with narrowed eyes for a moment.

“What!?”

“You told him you wanna… knock me up!?”

Suguru sighs, covering his face with a hand for a moment. “Listen, we are really, really close. Too close? I’m sorry.”

“How close?”

“Um…”

“Like y'all were together?” You ask curiously, and he chuckles, shaking his head at that.

“No, like best friends though. Like we may have. Fucked women together?” His last words were a mumble, and you blink for a moment.

“Oh god, you were a hoe, huh?”

“Not that big of a hoe!”

“Uh huh.” You poke at his strong chest, fingertips sliding down the lettering of the tattoo you love.

“Are you jealous?”

“Very.” At that he’s grinning, and yanks you against him.

“My hoe days are way behind me. This beautiful girl reformed me. She also has a big ass and-”

“Sugu!!”

“What!?” You both laugh, then he’s dragging you to his bathroom, it’s sleek, modern and huge, the shower alone is bigger than your bathroom.

“Oh it looks so nice, Sugu!”

“Let me wash you, Princess.” He starts the shower, and soon you all are inside of it, the hot water pounding on your already overheated bodies, you get heady as he washes your hair, washes your body, spending too much time on your ass.

“You’re such an ass man.” You tease, and he is smirking behind you, gripping it with soapy hands.

“It’s a perfect match. Are you excited about tomorrow, or nervous?” He asks, rinsing you with the detached head.

“I’m nervous they won’t like me. But excited to meet them!”

“Nah, they’ll love you, promise. You’ll love Gojo’s wife. She’s also one of my very good friends. God, Satoru is such an idiot I was surprised.”

“An idiot huh?”

“You’ll find out.”

“And you fucked girls with him.”

Suguru chuckles at your tone. “I didn’t even know you yet!”

“Hmph.”

“You’re hot when you’re jealous.” He’s wrapping his arms around your waist, and you feel so goddamn good, this morning seems so distant. You’re still afraid, but with Suguru, you feel like you can handle it, though something about that look… “You okay Princess?”

Mahito’s cruel words still eat at you, you shove them down, looking up at the man who is your everything. “I’m so good, Suguru. Just thinking… how I want nothing to mess this up.”

He frowns a bit then. “I won’t let him touch you.”

“I know, Sugu, I know.” Suguru kisses you deeply, desperately, in his pretty black and white tiled shower, and you try to shove that fear away, but it wants to linger, until you finally lose yourself in him, in his touches, in his taste, in his hold. “Mnh, you’re my everything.”

He pulls back, now you’re facing him, head tilted back, and he’s running a hand down your slick body, down your little waist, up the side of your breast, as his other hand cups your face. “You’re my everything. That’s why I’ll keep you safe.”

“I love you.” He exhales, and you fall into each other.

You don’t want anything to fuck this up.

You don’t know if you can take it.

Chapter 11

Ao3 chap:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56577688/chapters/149324236

#suguru smut #geto suguru #jjk suguru #suguru geto smut #geto x you #geto x y/n #suguru x reader #suguru x you #jjk #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujustu kaisen

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beom-pyu · 2 years ago

Text

nights ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ huening kai

huening kai x fem!reader , tags; established relationship , tiniest bit of angst , nsfw , emotional hurt/comfort , cute bf!kai , misunderstandings , he's had a long day, okay?!?! , u make it up to him tho!!! , kai luvs u , fluff , this is so soft i can only write soft stuff HELP , kai almost cries :(( , you call kai "angel"

warnings: smut (minors dni!!) , insecure kai , riding , unprotected sex , cumming inside , slight dom reader? u take the lead , marking (hickies) , praise praise praise , tit sucking , cockwarming

a/n: hiiii!! its been so long since i've posted a fic! currently wrapping up this semester :3 but thank you all for 350+ followers!!! i know it may seem small but all of your support really makes me so sososos happy and im so thankful for u all! now here's some cute bf kai for ur enjoyment hehe

wc: 3.2k+

“i am literally on the verge of quitting this damn job,” you groan with your phone pressed against your ear, lying horizontally on the couch in one of kai’s shirts and panties as some random drama plays on the t.v. in the background.

this has been going on for weeks—your lazy boss has been assigning you and your coworkers extra reports so he can go on vacation, leaving your entire division working overtime almost every night. you are both stressed and drained, fed up with your higher-up’s mistreatment.

“i hear you. how did we end up with the worst boss to grace this earth?” your coworker, sakura, whines into the mic in agreement.

the sound of keys at the door seizes your attention, pulling your phone away from your ear for a second to check the time. 9:15 p.m. kai’s schedule must’ve ended earlier today.

“hey, sakura, my boyfriend just got home so i’ll text you.” you give kai a small smile and wave as he enters your apartment, his exhausted eyes brightening at the sight of you. he slips his shoes and jacket off quietly as to not disturb your call while you and your coworkers say your goodbyes.

once you’ve hung up, you motion kai over to your spot on the couch as you try to sit up, giggling once his entire body flops directly on top of you. he buries his head into your clothed stomach, mumbling out a discernable sentence into your belly as his arms come to wrap around you.

“what was that, angel?” you laugh out as he mumbles something again before his head turns to the side, his eyes closing as your fingers tangle into his hair.

“said i missed you. and you smell nice,” he speaks sleepily, nuzzling his cheek against your shirt. you let out a chuckle, gently running your fingers through his hair.

“i missed you too, angel. how was your day?”

kai simply whines in response to your question and you take that as a good enough answer—you understand right away, tapping his cheek so that he can raise his head. he looks up at you, his fluffy hair bouncing a bit, falling into his eyes. your heart flips at the adorable sight.

“rough day, hm?” you ask as you push his hair back and he nods with a little pout, his head flopping back down.

“so busy,” is all he replies with and you automatically understand, your fingers massaging his scalp. “just gonna rest my eyes…”

and you’re sure he’s already falling asleep as he goes dead silent in your hold. you chuckle at your teddy bear of a boyfriend before your phone dings with a notification. you grab the device and you immediately have to suppress an annoyed groan at the email from your boss. you’ve already clocked out and he’s still assigning you more work.

you open your messages to text sakura.

you: he just emailed me another report to finish this week

you: like, can’t he do it himself???

you feel kai nuzzle himself further into you, shuffling around a bit before going still again. your hand is still mindlessly playing with hair before you get another notification.

sakura: and guess who just called me back in.

you: no way. is he being serious rn?

sakura: yup. completely.

sakura: he must’ve lost his mind

sakura: if he even had one to begin with

you: he’s literally so annoying wtf

you: i can’t stand him

you: idk how much longer i can put up with him tbh

“can we watch a movie?” kai suddenly mumbles, his voice muffled against the fabric of your shirt. you smile at his sleepy tone, your fingers stilling in his hair.

“i thought you were tired?” you inquire playfully.

“wanna spend more time with you,” kai speaks nonchalantly—but you’re sure your heart explodes in your chest at the simple words. you love him so much.

“let me go get some snacks and you pick the movie.”

it takes a good 2 minutes to finally get kai to move off of your body—complete with a few whines and grabby hands—but the mission is successful nonetheless. you toss your phone onto the couch before heading into the kitchen, rummaging around in the cabinets for popcorn.

it takes much longer than you intended, already hearing a movie begin to play on the screen as you pour the freshly popped food into a big bowl, grabbing some drinks out of the fridge as well.

kai gives you a stiff smile as you walk back into the room, arms full of snacks. you shoot him a questioning look, but his eyes are already glued back onto the t.v. screen. it is pretty dark, so maybe you didn’t see correctly—but you are sure you saw tears in his eyes too.

“you okay, angel?” you ask as you set the popcorn and drinks out on the coffee table, your eyes flickering over to him in between every movement. he looks over at you quickly before nodding slightly.

“mhm. just sleepy.” he offers you a faint smile before turning back to the movie. you feel a little uneasy at the response, but he did say he had a hard day and you don’t want to push him any further. you take a seat next to him, pulling your legs up to your chest before grabbing your phone to see if sakura has texted you back.

“babe…?” kai starts, slow and unsure. you lift your head from your phone to give him your attention, taking note of the way his hands wring in his lap, his leg bouncing anxiously.

“yea?” you ask, tossing your phone to the side to turn your body toward him. his eyes flicker up to yours nervously before darting away.

“i—nothing. nevermind,” he awkwardly laughs, shaking his head slightly as he tries to focus back on the t.v.

worry fills your body at his actions—if there’s one thing you knew about kai, it would be when he has something on his mind. and you can tell there’s something on the tip of his tongue by the way his leg continues to bounce, his mind clearly off somewhere far away.

you pout a bit, moving to straddle his lap, successfully gaining his attention. his eyes shoot up to yours and it’s only now that you can clearly see the slight glossiness of his orbs, tears pooling in his waterline.

“angel, what’s wrong?” you ask, your hands immediately coming up to hold his face. kai rarely ever cries, especially around you, so your gut churns with concern as he bites his lip and looks away from you, hands clenched at his sides.

“i’m sorry,” kai mumbles out, looking down at his lap. you let out a tiny noise of disagreement, your thumbs grazing his cheeks in an attempt to comfort him—yet he still continues to avoid your eyes.

“why are you apologizing?” you raise a hand to brush some of his dark hair out of his face. kai shakes his head again, his locks falling right back into his eyes.

“i’m sorry for being annoying—i just had a rough day and… i didn’t mean to be clingy and make you uncomfortable. i’m sorry, i won’t do it again. just—just don’t leave me, please.”

all of kai’s words rush out in a single breath, his voice slightly cracking at that last sentence, his body trembling slightly. you struggle to keep up, your brows furrowed in confusion.

“kai, angel, look at me,” you speak and despite his initial apprehension, his head lifts at your words. his eyes are shiny with tears as you cradle his face. “what are you talking about, my love? where is all of this coming from?”

“you… you left your phone unlocked when you got up—i didn’t mean to snoop but i saw your texts…” his voice is quiet and filled with sadness as he explains. your eyes widen as realization dawns on you, letting out a sigh of relief. this time kai’s head tilts in confusion, a pout settled on his lips.

“kai, i was ranting about my boss. you know—how he’s been making me work overtime lately?”

you watch with fondness as his cheeks redden, lips pursed shut. you can’t help but giggle as his hands shoot up to cover his face, covering your hands with his own.

“i’m so stupid,” his muffled voice sounds from behind his large hands. you laugh a bit—just because he’s so cute—moving your hands to pry his own from his face. an embarrassed smile rests on his lips and you are quick to peck them, once, twice, before leaning back.

“you’re not stupid, angel. it was just a little misunderstanding,” you giggle and he whines, his hands covering his face again. “come here, cutie.”

his harmonic laugh fills your ears as you lean in close to gently move his hands out of the way, kissing him again. you feel his body slowly unwind as your lips move against his, your hands replacing his own as you cup his cheek, pressing your body close to him.

when you separate, he’s out of breath, his hands hovering at your sides as you gaze down at him lovingly. you notice how perfectly placed you are in his lap, slightly rolling your hips down onto him—his lips part at the action, his chest rising and falling quickly.

“just relax, angel. let me do the work, okay?”

your hands are still on his cheeks as his eyes glimmer up at you, still wet and glistening. he nods in response, his mouth hanging open slightly as he stares at you in awe. so cute. you smile down at him before pressing your lips against his, your hands sliding into his hair.

kai softens into your touch, his hovering hands finally resting on your hips, holding you steady in his lap. you moan a bit as his teeth eagerly nip at your bottom lip, tongue swiping across shortly after to ease the sting. his hips move up against yours, trying to create any friction possible. he’s already hard, you notice, feeling his thick erection pressing against your core.

you pull away from the kiss to take a good look at his pretty face, his lips slick with your spit, a slight pink resting on his cheekbones. you can’t resist the urge to lean down to kiss up his jaw, pecking that spot under his ear that makes his body rack with shivers. he whines quietly as you suck marks onto his skin, still slightly sticky with sweat from his long day.

“do you wanna fuck me, angel?” you whisper low in his ear—and he quite literally moans at your words, nodding quickly as his hands grip your hips tighter, his hips bucking up into your clothed core.

“yes, yes, please,” he pants, already tugging at your clothes to get them off of your body. you giggle at his enthusiasm, letting him pull your shirt over your head. the movie running in the background does little to nothing to cancel out the heavy breathing as you wrap your arms around kai’s neck, arching your back a bit as he takes one of your sensitive buds into his mouth.

his tongue swirls around your nipple, his hands coming up to grope your boobs, loving how soft and bouncy there are. his hips move against you impatiently, but you know he won’t do anything without your word.

“my good boy,” you sigh out, the flashing lights from the t.v casting a sparkly reflection in his dark eyes. you smile dreamily at him, cupping the side of his face in your hand before you lean down to kiss him again.

his hands roam your body with such determination and your mind grows muddled with every kiss to your chest and brush of his fingertips against your heated skin. you can feel yourself leaking through your panties as you grind against him. you sit back a bit to grab the bottom of his shirt, tugging it up.

“i wanna see you too,” you speak as you help him take it off. you’ll never get used to how gorgeous he is—you know he’s been working out even more recently, and the fruits of his labor are definitely starting to show. his pecs are prominent as you lightly drag your nails over his feverish skin, hearing the strained moan he lets out at the touch. always so sensitive.

you trail your fingers down to his stomach and he lets his head fall back with a sigh. you lean in to press fluttery kisses to his bared neck and a low moan leaves his lips as you bite onto his skin. he smells like the cologne that you had gifted him for his birthday and the scent makes your stomach flip with anticipation.

“all mine,” you mumble and his hips buck up again, his head lulling to the side to give you more access to his neck.

“all yours, all yours,” he echoes out, his hands running up and down the sides of your body. you feel your core pulse when he brings a hand down to rub your clit through your panties, rolling your hips against his fingers.

your actions are feverish as your fingers trail lower to the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling his pants and underwear back in one swift motion. his crying dick slaps against his stomach at the action, already leaking glistening precum that leaves a trail across his lower stomach. his tip is an angry red and you have to resist the urge to get down on your knees and have a taste for yourself.

kai’s hands are obediently still on your hips as he waits for your next move, eyes flickering across your face. you give him a small smile before placing your cupped hand right below his mouth, cocking your head to the side.

“spit.”

and he does—a string of saliva leaving his mouth, dropping into the palm of your hand, dripping off of his lips. the broken moan that leaves his lips is music to your ears as you grab onto his erection with your slicked-up hand, spreading his own spit over the length.

“you listen so well, angel,” you breathe out, watching as he preens at your praise, a tiny smile finding its way onto his face. he looks so gorgeous—with his dark hair roused and in his eyes, cheeks flushed, his beauty marks sitting on his skin like stars in the sky.

you lean in to press a hot, open-mouthed kiss to his lips, his tongue immediately swiping over your bottom lip. he pants into your mouth, whining softly when you squeeze his dick a little too hard, his hips shaking as he tries not to thrust up into your hand.

you have mercy on him though—already feeling yourself leaking onto his pants. you pull your panties to the side, lining yourself up with his dick. his eyes never leave yours, staring at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes as you rub his tip in between your folds; a whimper leaves his lips as you slowly sink down on him, your eyes fluttering at how full you already feel.

his dick is thick and long, filling you up perfectly—as if your cunt was made for him. your legs slightly shake at the feeling, your free hand resting on his shoulder to hold yourself steady as you begin to bounce on his cock, soft moans leaving your lips as his tip hits your cervix every time.

“so good, angel. so big, fuck,” you whine and kai’s fingers tighten on your waist, subtly helping you move up and down on him. your moans mix together beautifully, loving the way he whimpers when your walls clench around him, his hands running up your back and down your thighs, touching every part of you in his reach.

you can’t even chastise him when he begins thrusting up into you, his head thrown back against the couch as he watches you through hooded eyes. your bouncing tits put him in a trance, his hand coming up to brush over your hard nipples. your pussy gushes and soaks his lap, eyes screwed shut from how addicting his cock is, twitching inside of your cunt.

every thrust into your heat makes your stomach flip with pleasure, getting lost in the way his hips snap against yours perfectly. you can tell he’s getting close too by the way his rhythm falters—his moans are high and breathy, his body shaking slightly as you rock your hips back and forth.

“can i—fuck, can i cum, please?” kai stutters out as he lifts his head to rest his forehead against yours.

“fill me up, angel. i’m all yours.”

his heavy pants fan your lips and you capture his again, moaning at the way he hastily licks into your mouth. you can already feel your high crashing upon you with one last stroke, your own whimpers falling deaf to your ears as his moans tip you over the edge. your body buzzes with electricity as your pussy pulsates around him, feeling him pump his thick ropes of cum into you at the action.

you swallow his moans as his hips thrust up into you a few more times before slowing to a stop, his tongue swirling with yours, swiping over your teeth, pulling away to kiss down your neck—as if he can’t get enough of you. you let your body fall forward onto his chest, your breath fanning against his neck.

you’re both quiet as you come down from your highs, the movie on the screen long forgotten. once your arms stop feeling like jelly, you sit up, finding kai’s eyes easily in the darkness of the living room.

he’s completely ruined—lips shiny and red, his neck and ears the same color. soft marks are already blooming on his skin from your ministrations and you find yourself lightly brushing over them, pressing into the bruises with the pads of your fingers. kai’s eyes don’t break away from your gaze as he bites his lip at the slight pain, his dick twitching inside of you. good to know.

“i love you, angel. you did so well,” you smile down at him and you swear his ears go even redder as your fingers stroke his hair. “please don’t ever think for a second that i would leave you, okay?”

kai nods quickly, leaning into your touch like a puppy.

“i love you,” he responds, arms wrapping around your waist to pull you into his chest. you let out a small noise of surprise at the quick movement, but melt into his embrace even quicker. his hold on you is strong as you rest your head against his shoulder.

“can we just stay like this for a bit?” kai mumbles, pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear. you giggle a bit, nodding in response. his dick is warm and snug inside of you, trapping his cum inside of you. his body feels like home against yours as he pecks your skin, and you let your eyes flutter shut in the arms of the one you love most.

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moosesarecute · 5 months ago

Text

Part 9: The Shadows Sing

Part 8 Part 10

“What?” You almost yelled out.

“You heard what I said, Y/N,” Master Raven told you and looked at you with his serious eyes. You felt yourself shrinking under his gaze. “Their cabin is burned to the ground. Someone has to house them and your cabin is the biggest.”

You opened your mouth to protest.

“Or you can take Sole and I’ll take Sherry,” Master Raven said before you could speak and you knew you had lost the argument. “That’s what I thought.”

Sherry walked towards you. She was drenched, but looked okay otherwise.

“Rough Night?” You asked her.

“You could say that,” she answered in an awkward tone.

“I’ll need an hour to clean before you can come over,” you told her and then you started on the way home before she could say anything.

“For fucks sake,” you said the second you closed the door to your cabin. “Of course it had to be fucking Sherry.”

“You were going to stop swearing!” Your shadows called you out.

You ignored them as you sprung into action.

You hid the extra food Azriel had given to you, you ate the rest of the chocolate cake that you had planned to save for a few days and then you put away Azriel’s note.

You then rushed towards your table with a piece of paper and a pen.

“Elizabeth?” You asked aloud and not long after your shadow, that you had named Elizabeth, stood before you. You didn’t know why Elizabeth was the name you ended on, but it felt like a good name for a leader. “Do you think you can find the way to Velaris?”

What she told you next surprised you.

“You have a secret meeting place to meet Azriel’s shadows?” You asked her. She nodded. “That’s unbelievable. Does Azriel know?”

When you mentioned his name, your shadows surrounded you. They danced in happiness.

“Azriel doesn’t know. Only us and friends!” Your shadows answered.

“Okay, you go and meet his shadows at your meeting place and go with them to Velaris. Make sure Azriel gets this.” You gave her the paper you had written. “I need all of you to stay in Velaris for a while. Elizabeth, you will follow the others and then come back here.”

“Your not coming?”

You let out a sigh and shook your head. Your shadows started to hug your entire body and tried to pull you towards the front door.

“You know I can’t leave,” you tried to remind them. “I would come if I could. But you’ll be safe with Azriel. He’ll protect you. And it’ll only be a week or two. Please behave.”

Azriel was in the middle of training when he got a hug attack from the shadows that made him fall over.

“Cauldron!” Cassian exclaimed with a laugh. “Are you okay brother?”

Azriel sat up and the confusion in his face turned into terror as he saw your shadows mixed with his.

Something had to be seriously wrong.

“I’ll be back soon,” Azriel told Cassian as he ran inside The House of Wind.

First when he had closed the door to his room, one of your shadows flew towards him with a folded paper in its hand.

Azriel opened the paper and almost immediately smiled at your messy handwriting.

The twins’ cabin burned down after the thunderstorm. I have to live with fucking Sherry until they have build it up again. Can you babysit? I don’t want them to be alone for that long. I would say it’s going to be a week or two. Elizabeth (the shadow that gave you this note) can answer back to me.

I’m sorry, I know it’s asking for a lot. I owe you.

x your huntress

PS. did you know our shadows have a secret meeting place?

Azriel read the note twice. He could almost hear the panic in your voice.

“Of course you can stay here,” Azriel told your shadows. They hugged his arms as an answer.

The second he agreed a shadow, Elizabeth he presumed, flew out his window.

Azriel looked at all the shadows that took up almost all the place in his room. It would be a long week.

The first thing that divided your shadows from Azriel’s was how curious your shadows were.

Every time Azriel walked into a new room, they would explore. They would look in all shelves, corners, cupboards or windows. They loved to see new things, and Azriel quickly realized most of the things he owned or used daily was new to them.

Where you would clean yourself in a lake, Azriel was used to the bathtub. You would get water from a river, he got it from a sink. Your shadows were mesmerized.

Azriel wished you could have been there with them to make you understand that you deserved more in life.

The thing your shadows didn’t like was people.

The same evening they arrived was family dinner and the second Azriel walked into the room where his family already was your shadows clung to his body and did not leave. They almost hid away.

Azriel realized they probably hadn’t met many people, it least not many nice people. You had been hiding them for most of your life.

The only problem was that they clung so tightly to his body, that he found it hard to move.

“You alright there, Az?” Rhys asked him.

“Yeah,” he answered wanting the least amount of questions.

“Are those your shadows?” Cassian asked. “They’ve been acting out all day!”

“They’re new,” Azriel said.

This entire family looked at him confused. He felt Rhys’ touch on his mental shields, but he didn’t let him in. This was your secret, if you wanted it to be a secret, it would be.

Lucky for him no one asked more questions.

Throughout the dinner, your shadows started to relax more. They wandered around. Never too far away from Azriel, of course, but they moved further and further away.

Two shadows in particular had found Nyx and seemed to enjoy being in his company. When the two year old threw his cup on the floor, your shadows would pick it up. Nyx found it hilarious.

“I’m going to bed,” Azriel said to his family as he slowly moved out of the living room.

Both his and your shadows moved with him. Your shadows had been swirling around the entire day, but had calmed down the last hour or so. He understood they were tired, but they didn’t want to leave him.

“They’re scared,” his shadows explained to him.

Azriel felt his heart stop a little and remembered back to last time his shadows had told him their friends were scared.

“Does that mean that Y/N is scared?”

He waited patiently for an answer.

“They are too far away to be fully connected to their mistress. They’re scared because they haven’t been this far away from home before.”

As Azriel went to bed he couldn’t stop his thoughts from wandering. Were you also scared, because you had never been that far away from your shadows either? He definitely hadn’t. He had experienced times where his shadows for different reasons had been absent, but they always came back after a few hours.

This could take weeks.

As Azriel laid into bed he felt shadows swirling up his chest, where they eventually stopped. Your smell of pines and night air lingered on them.

A smile spread on Azriel’s face as he had the best sleep he had slept in months.

Azriel had been babysitting as you called it for over a week now. He missed your training session and waited patiently on your call that everything was alright and that he could come back to you.

He had multiple times had to hold both yours and his shadows back from going back to you. Azriel had a good life. He enjoyed his work and his family, but you made his life so much lighter. He eventually found it hard to keep himself from going back to you.

He had realized how much he liked to be with you ages ago, but it was first now he realized just how much you changed his everyday life.

If he had a rough mission, he would come train with you. If he was happy, he wanted to tell you about it. He felt himself needing to know what you had been doing. He felt himself going crazy without knowing if you had been eating or if you didn’t have money for food.

He wanted to know if you had won the latest fight rounds or if you still were longing for the chicken.

He felt himself missing the smile that grew on your face when you were proud of yourself. The one where you would bit your lip to prevent it from growing too big.

Azriel realized, after knowing you for over half a year, after dreaming about you for over 2 years, after four hugs and one cuddle session, that he was in love with you. His huntress.

“It should be fast,” Rhys explained to Azriel and Cassian. “It’s only rumors, but if it’s true we’re in deep shit.”

Rhys wanted Azriel and Cassian to check up on some rogue illyrans. They are rumored to be in The Middle plotting a coup.

Azriel immediately tensed as the High Lord mentioned your home. He hated that you might be in even more danger than you already were. It had been over two weeks now, and he still hadn’t heard from you.

To say he was going crazy was an understatement.

“We’ll go right away,” Cassian told Rhys and Azriel transported them into the forest he had learned to know.

They landed in a clearing far away from where you usually would go.

“Tell them that they have to hide here,” Azriel asked his shadows to tell yours. “We’ll be back in an hour or two.”

Azriel relaxed a little when he saw your shadows starting to hide in different trees and bushes.

They had been the most obedient he had ever seen them the last two weeks, but they were not trained for spying.

Azriel and Cassian began to move deeper into the forest. They had passed the river where he first talked to you and were now moving towards the lake.

They followed no specific path, they were now just looking for signs of living or movement of a big group.

How many rogue illyrans there were, they didn’t know. But he knew that your hunting group had specific places to fight, so if he found something, he would know who it was.

What he didn’t know about, was the black Raven that sat at the top of the trees, preparing to let the rogue illyrans know that their High Lord’s men was looking for them.

@i-have-a-thing-for-the-dark @saltedcoffeescotch @rcarbo1 @mrsjna @kitsunetori @thecraziestcrayon @blessthepizzaman

#acotar #azriel #azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x shadowsinger!reader

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andreafmn · 2 years ago

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Speak | Chapter 9

Word Count: 3.6K Story Description: Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didn’t expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf. Chapter: 9/? A/N: one day I'll upload early, y'all. but I am truly trying to keep to the schedule I posted, as hard as it is. But thank you for bearing with me. You guys have no idea how much it means to me 🥰🤍 My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts to support me and my love of writing or buy me a coffee TikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post! Taglists for Twilight get filled quick and Tumblr only lets me tag up to a certain point. Notifications are your best bet.

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Chapter 9

The Swan sisters had been raised with a misconstrued idea that the new year meant a fresh start, a clean slate. That it could magically erase any and all afflictions the year before had caused. That it truly was the first page of a new chapter.

And maybe that’s all that (Y/N) was hoping for that New Year’s Eve. That the coming year would be the first page of her new chapter in Forks. That whatever was happening with Paul would die that December night. That Bella would finally turn over a new leaf and forget Edward. That she could move forward with her relationship with Jake.

Because that’s what she wanted.

That’s what she had always wanted.

The thing she most needed was to get over whatever fluke it was that had made its way into her life. Whatever breach into her timeline that had decided to make her heart flutter out the sound of someone else’s name. It had been too sudden and unexplainable to not be a mistake.

Paul Lahote had no business settling into her heart in the way he had, and she would stop at nothing to pluck him as quickly as he had attached himself. Even if she looked forward to seeing him in her dreams at night, even if her heart skipped a beat at the mere thought of him, even if all she wanted was to get as close to him as possible.

(Y/N) wanted —at least she thought she wanted— to go back to being excited that Jacob had finally set his sights on her. She wanted the same thrill she got about Paul with Jake. He had been the crush that had withstood the trials of time. It could not be trampled over by a guy she barely knew.

Yet, she could not stop thinking how his favorite color was red, how he moved to La Push after his parent’s divorced when he was eight, how he didn’t remember much of his mother even though he had been old enough to, how he had never been in love but desperately wanted to know what it felt like. (Y/N) could not stop picturing the way his eyes would shine under the warm glow of the setting sun, how his smile would grow as he listened intently to every word she spoke. Nor could she shake off the feeling of his warm skin against hers, how soft his hands had felt where she believed they’d be rough and calloused. He was everything and nothing like she had thought, but she knew that was as far as she could go to know him.

“Well, don’t you look mighty nice?” Charlie’s voice broke his daughter out of thought. “I think you’ve been to more bonfires this month than I have been to in years. People might start forgetting the sheriff’s face around there.”

“I doubt that’s even possible, dad,” she chuckled, smoothing over a piece of hair that had been unruly for the better part of the day. “Really wish you could join us, though. Since Bella won’t be making it out there, I wanted a Swan there for moral support.”

“This about that Paul fella?”

The question took (Y/N) aback. She had thought no one but Jake knew about that whole fiasco, and she was certain he had not said anything to her dad. “How do you…?” she stammered.

“Bella muttered a thing or two about him. Said he was the one you had been with the other night,” her father said. “Something happen with you and Jake?”

“Nothing happened,” she muttered. “I’m just making new friends seeing as my stay in Forks might be longer than anticipated.”

“Well, that’s a good idea. Just be careful of the people you keep in your company.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Jake might have mentioned this Paul Lahote character is not the greatest influence,” Charlie added. “He thinks he might not have the purest of intentions with you, (Y/N). I just don’t wanna see you get hurt.”

“Well, I can tell you right now that you have nothing to worry about,” (Y/N) smiled comfortingly. The last thing she wanted was for her father to worry about her when his other daughter was still no more than a statue in their home. “I have only hung out with him that one time and I don’t think it’ll happen again. But thanks for checking in.”

“Just wanna make sure your transition back here is as smooth as possible, kiddo,” he responded warmly. “I know it’s gonna be hard to settle back here after being with your mom for so long. Forks might be a bit slow but it’s truly home.”

“I’m actually excited about staying. Even if it wasn’t the plan originally, there’s something about this town that’s just begging for me to stay,” she confessed. “Even if I came to help with Bella, I’m glad I decided to stay. It will also keep mom from taking us both back to Florida —at least for a while.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” The older Swan said before she nodded in response. “I’m just glad you two wanted to spend time with your old man. Even if I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“You’re doing good, dad,” (Y/N) chuckled. “I will say you got the shortest end of the stick having to be the one dealing with this breakup but I know you’re doing the absolute best you can. Hopefully, this new year brings us all the fresh start we so desperately need.”

“I hope so too, kiddo,” he sighed in defeat. “But have fun tonight, (Y/N), and make good choices.”

“Have I ever done anything else?”

“Very funny, kid,” Charlie chuckled. “Well, I’m off to work. I’ll probably not be here yet when you get back, so happy new year, (Y/N). And have fun.”

“Happy New Year, dad.”

Everything in Forks seemed to move at a punishingly fast pace, even if at times it felt like the town was stuck in time. But (Y/N) had been there almost four weeks which had already felt like a lifetime.

In comparison to living with Phil and her mother, in the midst of travel and adventures that she had loved for a time, (Y/N) had forgotten the calmness of remaining stagnant, of going to sleep and waking in the same home. She had forgotten what walking the halls of a school felt like, of having a group of friends that lasted more than a year.

Forks would give her that opportunity, or at least she hoped it would. The town had already started to change her and given her more than she could’ve hoped for. And that night she truly believed would set everything in the correct motion. Everything she had wished for with no more flukes.

An hour later and from the street she heard the honk of a horn. She gave herself a once over, not feeling completely comfortable with the way she looked that night. In part, she felt it was merely the nerves of seeing Jacob after the altercation with Paul.

But there was another part, the bigger part, that knew it was because of Paul. There was a calming thrill to him that she couldn’t explain. Even the juxtaposition of the thought made no sense to her. As much as she wanted to stay away from him, she wanted to get closer. It scared and excited her all at once.

Yet, the person that was waiting for her was not him. It was Jake, waiting impatiently behind the wheel of his truck.

“What took you so long?” Jacob grumbled as (Y/N) got into the car. “We’re already late as it is.”

“Sorry, Jake. I couldn’t find my jacket.”

“It’s fine, (Y/N). It’s just that Quil came back from his trip, and I wanted to catch up with him before school starts,” he said. “I also haven’t seen Embry since last weekend since he was with his mom visiting some family.”

“Yeah, I get that,” (Y/N) responded meekly, sinking into her seat. “At least we have the rest of the night to hang out with them.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he smiled forcefully. “What about Bella? Is she not coming?”

“No,” she said through gritted teeth. “She wasn’t up to coming. Still bummed about this Edward guy.”

“What a shame,” Jake sighed. “Being around people would be good for her.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she mumbled. “But I can’t really force her. This guy did a number on her and nothing dad and I are doing is working. I’ve even decided to…”

“Maybe you guys don’t know her as well as you thought,” he blurted. “I mean, no offense but she’s not the same girl that left Arizona. She’s not even the same girl that came to Forks.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t help her, Jake. And that’s what we have been doing this whole time. Still, we can’t help someone that doesn’t want to help themselves.”

“I’m not trying to start a fight, (Y/N),” he grumbled. “I’m just saying that maybe your efforts have not worked because she’s not the same Bella you knew.”

The girl remained quiet, anger filling her body instantly. Bella remained a sore subject in the new relationship, always being brought up by Jacob, reminding (Y/N) that he had liked her sister first –and, deep down, she knew he probably still did. Still, wanted to remain in the delusion that he had chosen her for as long as she could.

“It’s fine. Let’s just drop this, okay?” (Y/N) pleaded. “I just want to enjoy tonight. Please.”

“Alright, yeah. Whatever.”

The rest of the ride went by in silence, a heavy tension filling the air and suffocating her. At that moment, more than ever before in her life, she needed to believe that the new year was truly a fresh start. A new beginning for her sister, a new beginning for her relationship, and a new beginning for her life in Forks.

As soon as the truck rolled to a stop, Jake was out of the car and heading to the beach, mumbling something to (Y/N) that he was gonna see his friends and that he’d catch up to her soon enough. Then, he left her in between the small sea of cars that lined the border of the beach.

The younger Swan was left dumbfounded, completely perplexed at Jake’s reaction. His outburst had made her feel small and unwanted. And as she stood frozen at her spot, watching the community celebrate before her, she wondered if there was any reason for her to be there. Because maybe the best thing she could do, for everyone, was leave.

“I’m glad you came, (Y/N),” a voice startled her. “You look beautiful tonight.”

“Paul, hi,” she blushed, looking down at the black jumpsuit she wore under a white coat. “Thank you. You look great too. Especially with my sweater.”

“Oh, it was cold tonight and it was the first thing I grabbed,” he chuckled. “I promise I was gonna bring it back to you, not use it like it was mine.”

“Honestly, it looks better on you than it does me. Sometimes I feel like I drown in it.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. Your look great in a paper bag,” he grinned. “But I really am glad you came tonight.”

“And why is that, Paul Lahote?”

“Because I wanted to apologize for the other day. I never wanted things to end the way they did,” he said. His eyes searched hers in the darkness, wanting nothing more than for his hands to reach her, to feel her skin against his once more. “I’m sorry if I caused any trouble between you and Jacob. The last thing I would have ever wanted was for you to be blamed for my actions. You don’t deserve that.”

“Thank you, Paul,” she smiled, her hand unconsciously reaching for his, giving it a comforting squeeze. “But it’s not your fault. I was the one that agreed to spend time with you knowing that Jake would blow off the handle. If anyone is to blame for what happened that night, it’s me.”

Paul couldn’t help himself as his free hand flew to rest on her cheek, cradling her face in a soothing manner. “Nothing that happened was your fault, (Y/N),” he said. “Jake simply showed you who he is. You never did anything wrong. We didn’t do anything wrong.”

In that split second, (Y/N) remembered Jake’s words. She broke away from his contact, as though his touch had burned her skin, turning away from the enchanting trance his eyes held over her.

“What’s wrong?”

“It's just that Jake said something about you and… your past,” she sighed. “He said I was just an attempt to make your body count higher.”

“I hope you know how untrue that is,” he said, seething on the inside but not daring to show it to her. “You are special, (Y/N), and I would never do anything that would make you feel otherwise.”

“But why, Paul? What is so special about me? To everyone, I’m just Bella’s little sister.”

“You have to know that that is the least interesting thing about you,” he said. He reached out to her, needing to look her in the eye again. “You’re funny, you’re kind, you’re smart and witty. And that’s merely the tip of the iceberg. I may not have known you for long but I know there’s so much more to you than you let on. And all I’ve wanted was to learn about those parts that you hide from everyone else.”

“I still don’t know why!” (Y/N) responded, frustration pooling beads of tears in the corners of her eyes. “How can I trust someone that somehow says everything I want to hear but won’t give me a straightforward answer? Why me, Paul? Out of all the people in the world, why do you want to know me?”

At that moment, he felt he would spill everything. He wanted her to know just why it was her, why the universe had decided that it had to be her. Paul wanted to confess what bonded them and would keep them for the rest of their lives.

And he would have, but the fear of putting her in any danger could not let him say the words. He could not bring himself to utter any of the words that would throw her life up in shambles. “Why not you, (Y/N)?” he asked her, biting his tongue to keep what he wanted to say from spilling. “Is it so hard to believe that I could have seen you and be intrigued by you?”

“You saw me for a split second, Paul. Someone you’ve never known of cannot be worth all this trouble.”

“You are worth it, (Y/N).”

“And you are frustratingly vague,” she finally cracked a smile. “Why can’t you just answer me? What is it that you’re hiding?”

“You’d never believe me if I told you,” he copied her smile. “And isn’t a little mystery fun?”

“It could be if it didn’t get me in trouble with my boyfriend.”

“That could be fixed by breaking up with him, you know,” Paul teased. “A lot of things could be fixed if Jake was gone.”

“Are you threatening my boyfriend, Paul Lahote?”

“I would never,” he laughed. “But I still believe that he doesn’t deserve you, (Y/N).”

“Will you ever let that go?”

“Don’t think I can.”

And maybe she knew he was right but it was too hard to admit it, to him or to herself. She had wanted Jake for the better part of her life and one night could not change that. She wouldn’t let it. “Then you’re gonna have to if there’s ever gonna be some sort of friendship between us,” she said. “Might be hard to spend time with someone that’s always trashing their boyfriend.”

“I mean, you’ve only got a couple more weeks before you have to go back to Florida, right? I think I can control myself in that time.”

“Actually, I decided to move to Forks with my dad,” she smiled. “Bella isn’t getting better and I’ve honestly gotten attached to this town. It might be that some people have made this place so enchanting.”

“Then I guess I’m gonna have to work harder on pretending that I like Jake,” he grinned. “But I am glad you’re staying. The town wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“I’ve only been here for three weeks, Paul,” she laughed.

“And nothing has been the same since.”

“You’re something else.”

“I could say the same about you,” Paul added before noticing Jared calling him over. “And on that note, I will have to leave you. I’ve got a couple of things I have to do. But not before you give me your phone number.”

“My number?”

“That way I’d we ever wanna see each other it doesn’t have to be by me showing up at your house or running into each other at a bonfire.”

“Right,” she chuckled, handing him her phone. “That’s smart.”

“I’ll see you around, (Y/N),” he smiled before kissing her on the cheek and disappearing down the beach.

As soon as he was out of sight, (Y/N) looked around, hoping that no one had witnessed what had just happened. As innocent as everything could have been, in such a small town, everything was known.

Once she had calmed down, she finally walked toward the commotion of the beach. Feeling as confused as she had been since meeting Paul, but at peace. Being around him made her feel serene, tranquility spreading through her veins. Though he made her heart race, he didn’t make her chest feel tight. It was a feeling that made her feel equal parts uneasy and calm.

“Where were you?” Jake asked as she joined him and his friends, a hint of annoyance dancing between his words.

“Just around,” she smiled. “I was actually planning to get something to drink. Do you guys want anything?”

“We’re good,” Embry smiled kindly. “But thank you.”

“Just hurry,” Jake added before becoming more interested in the conversations he was having before she had gotten close. “And bring me back a water, thanks.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

(Y/N) left him quickly, needing to compose herself before heading back toward him. She could feel how annoyed he was at her. Ever since that afternoon with Paul, Jake had become distant and rather cold toward her but she could understand why. As much as it pained her, she knew why and that she had to do something to make it up to him while keeping what angered him a secret.

“It’s good to see you around, (Y/N),” Billy said as he joined the girl’s side at the refreshment table. “I was wondering when I would see you again.”

“Hi, uncle Billy,” she smiled. “I’ve been meaning to go by the house but I’ve been busy these couple of days.”

“And things have been heated between you and my son.”

“How did you…?”

“Small town,” he smiled softly. “But I’ve already had some words with my son about his behavior toward you. It was completely unacceptable.”

“It might have been an overreaction but it was warranted,” she said looking down. “I knew what I did would anger him but I still did it.”

“That doesn’t mean he can chastise you in the middle of town. My son is young and can be quick-tempered,” Billy sighed, taking one of (Y/N)’s hands in his. “He says and does things that he doesn’t know he will regret one day, and you don’t deserve to be in the receiving end of that.”

“Thank you, Billy,” (Y/N) smiled, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “But I’m sure he’s sorry for that night and we’ll work through it together.”

“You know, I love my son, but he can be quite stubborn when he wants to. Even at his own detriment. Still, I hope this new year brings you both clarity and growth. Both personally, and if the gods want it, in your relationship as well.”

“I hope so too, uncle Billy.”

“My son is lucky to have you by his side. Even if he doesn’t know it.”

(Y/N) felt a new surge of confidence as he joined Jake and his friends once more. Knowing Billy was watching her back made her feel stronger about her relationship with Jacob and that it was worth investing her heart and time into. She knew her heart yearned for Jake and all she felt toward Paul was a strong sense of friendship.

As the hours passed and the tension between her and Jake seemed to dissipate, her resolve simply solidified itself. She would do anything possible to fix her relationship with her boyfriend and keep her friendship with Paul separate from Jacob.

But there was the smallest part in her that replayed Paul’s voice. He kept telling her how she deserved better and that Jake was not the right person for her, even if that was who she had wanted for so long.

Still, when the clock struck twelve, Jake was the one she kissed, and wished things would work out between them. She wished for him to only see Bella as a friend and finally give his whole heart to her. Wrapped in his arms as they cheered the new year, she begged the universe to give her the chance to have everything she had wished for.

Yet as her eyes found Paul’s in the crowd, she doubted if it was what she truly wanted or if she was holding onto a silly childhood dream.

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ninja-muse · 4 months ago

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August is over! My reading month felt like it took forever even though otherwise, the month flew by. I blame this half on my top two reads of the month, which I was only reading in short snippets, and half on a number of lackluster reads and DNFs. I'm hoping to get back into my usual habits in September.

I did do better on reading off my physical TBR though! Even though one book was a "aw man, what do I read now?" and two more were, "I'm behind on my goal, quick, read something fast!" Plus the T. Kingfisher, which was graciously provided by my work, as was Running Close to the Wind. (Finally a month where I didn't spend money to add to my library!)

As for my top reads, The Salmon Shanties would be near the top of my list even if there wasn't a degree of reverse-nepotism involved. Absolutely excellent poetry collection, very layered and complex. If you're into Canadian poetry or poetry-of-place, pick it up! And Rose/House, once I got it back from the library because my Libby hold ran out, was absolutely fantastic! As was the quality of the French translation, because it sounded like Martine. So very, very glad I had the nerve (and linguistic ability) to read it. Super-creepy and I'm glad Tor's picked it up so I can hype the heck out of it next year. And then there's Jinn-Bot, which I wrote an actual review for.

On the other end of the list, sigh. I DNFed one book for feeling kind of trite, and another for being too predictable, and probably should have DNFed Voyage of the Damned for being uneven but I needed to know who the killer was. The Library Thief I'm also counting as lackluster—very good book, just wasn't for me or what I was expecting. Still deserves a 7.

Lula Dean, on the other hand, was surprisingly good! Fun and satirical and just plain entertaining. Read it in a couple days and it would likely be higher on my list except my reasons to be "glad to have read them" this month are less about quality and entertainingness than usual. I can't put "really liked this" above "finally I get to read a new book by X!", for instance. Or necessarily above "learned stuff!"

You might notice a distinct lack of any other news, and that's because there is none. September may be marginally more exciting, we'll see. (I know there'll be a bigger book haul.)

Anyway, on to September now, and in the meantime, here's my list everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

The Salmon Shanties - Harold Rhenisch

A collection of poems centered on and celebrating Cascadia in all its facets (or taking it to task, as the case may be). Out in September.

10/10

🇨🇦

warning: mentions racism, colonization, genocide

digital reading copy

Rose/House - Arkady Martine

There is a body within Rose House—two, if you count its architect, who ordered the house shuttered with his passing and left to its AI. Only one person is allowed to enter now, and she’s accounted for. And yet there is a body within Rose House….

9/10

🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: descriptions of a dead body

library ebook

The Jinn-Bot of Shantiport - Samit Basu

Lina and Bador want freedom: from surveillance, from power structures, for their city, for all bots, or just for their family. This might come from cunning, or revolution, or a lost ancient artifact, or an underground bot-battle, or swaying a visiting space hero or the Not-Prince. Much more than an Aladdin retelling.

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (multisexual, achillean), Indian-coded cast, Indian author

warning: discusses colonization and oppression, references police violence

reading copy

Unwritten, Vol. 8 - Mike Carey with Peter Gross, Dean Ormston, Yuko Shimizu

When Tommy Taylor learns that Lizzie is trapped in the land of the dead, he goes to rescue her—but he’s unprepared for his adventures there, or the wider implications.

8/10

Indigenous Australian secondary character

off my TBR

All Quiet on the Western Front - Erich Maria Remarque

Paul Bäumer recounts his time serving in the German army in WWI.

7/10

warning: war, death, animal death, gore, injury

off my TBR

A Sorceress Comes to Call - T. Kingfisher

Cordelia’s terrible mother has decided to marry a squire. Cordelia knows he and his sister don’t deserve that—but how to stop her, when she can do magic?

7.5/10

warning: child abuse, torture, murder, animal cruelty and death

finished copy received through work

A Man and His Cat, Vol. 4 - Umi Sakurai

Kanda gets the courage to make a new friend and revisit an old situation.

7/10

Japanese cast, Japanese author

off my TBR

A Gentleman from Japan - Thomas Lockley

The true story of a Japanese man who was brought to the court of Elizabeth I and influenced early modern English science.

7.5/10

warning: slavery, orientalism, war and violence

library book

Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books - Kirsten Miller

In Troy, Georgia, the fight for public decency is kicked off by Lula Dean, who craves attention and loves her Southern history—and her fencepost library, where someone’s put wholesome jackets over books she’s tried to ban….

7/10

ensemble cast including Black, 🏳️‍🌈 (gay, lesbian), and Indo-American POV characters

warning: Nazis, anti-Semitism, anti-Black racism, homophobia, rape, suicide

reading copy

The Library Thief - Kuchenga Shenjé

Florence talks her way into a job repairing a lord’s library, but is quickly drawn in by the mysterious death of the lady of the house. A gothic novel centering race, gender, and other marginalizations in late Victorian England.

7/10

Black British main character, Black British secondary characters, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (trans woman, sapphic), Black British author

warning: racism, including slurs; rape, abuse, misogyny, queerphobia

library book

The Voyage of the Damned - Frances White

A grand state voyage is upset by murder and it’s up to the lowly, non-Blessed Ganymedes to catch the killer before they dock. Goddess help them all if he doesn’t….

5.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (multisexual), fat protagonist, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (nonbinary, ace, trans man, sapphic, achillean), Indian-, African-, and Japanese-coded secondary characters

warning: murder, injuries, blood, colonial thinking, attempted genocide, suicidal thoughts

reading copy

DNF

Remedial Magic - Melissa Marr

Safe and ordinary Ellie meets a mysterious woman in her library, and is whisked to a fantasy world where she’s probably a witch—and almost certainly in trouble.

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 author

reading copy

Casket Case - Lauren Evans

Garrett stops to ask for directions at Nora’s casket shop and they hit it off. Unfortunately he works for Death…. Out in September.

African-American secondary characters

reading copy

Currently reading

A Natural History of Dragons - Marie Brennan

A memoir by Lady Trent, renowned natural philosopher and adventuress, but covering her childhood and first expedition, to the mountain highlands of Vystrana, and the troublesome dragons encountered there.

library book

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts. The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle Victorian detective stories.

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 11 Yearly total: 70 Queer books: 1 Authors of colour: 3 Books by women: 6 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 1 Classics: 1 Off the TBR shelves: 4 Books hauled: 2 ARCs acquired: 3 ARCs unhauled: 6 DNFs: 2

January February March April May June July

#books #booklr #bookblr #reading wrap-ups #rec lists #book recommendations #read in 2024 #my photos

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zombielesbean · 4 months ago

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the release of Grey Area was interesting because... well, lemme just lay it out for ya:

literally the morning the game released, my grandma died it wasn't unexpected at all, so it didn't hit me particularly hard, and I am not a person who feels much when anyone dies anyway, but, I was always really close with my grandma, and she always loved and was supportive of my gamedev stuff, so like. you can imagine, that's not the most stable mental platform to be releasing the biggest game project you've ever released on, heh

later the first day of release, our first review rolls in - negative

oof

more reviews are coming in and most are positive, but each negative one - and there were a few - like a knife stabbing me. that's three years of my life out there now! I wasn't prepared for how incredibly vulnerable that would feel - each of my previous game projects had only taken a year or less

on top of this, the bug reports are coming in.. we'd tested this game to hell and back, both ourselves and with outside game testers.. but again. biggest project I've ever made. more stuff got through than I was prepared for

mental health is deteriorating, I'm staying up all night continuing to fix bugs and make small changes to the game

a fairly large streamer plays the game - doesn't like the bosses that much, especially the latter two, admits he was going to send gift copies to random viewers but has now decided he "doesn't want to inflict the game on other people" and doesn't believe the game had playtesters

internal screaming increasing

I'm still working every day and night on this thing, we're getting much more positive feedback than negative but like oh my god is it rough I don't know what to do with all this attention and then we have someone show up in the discord server to essentially debate me about all the choices I made making the game and it gets to where it's just like please leave me alone I'm sorry you didn't like it but other people do and I made it the way I personally wanted because its my project and aaaaaaaaa I'm dying out here

and with all this stress building the thing that did me in was our biggest fan, as in, the most prominent person who was interested in our game, and who had made several useful suggestions about the game I had happily implemented - well, let's just say I fucked up in communication with them and woosh - all that good will out the door

extremely negative review, they don't even talk about the game, they just talk about the miscommunication they had with me

I felt like I was a sitcom character working in a restaurant and I'd tried to please the food critic coming to town and tripped and spilled all the food over them

and that may sound funny but like. it broke me. like. that was it, my stress reached its boiling over point and like. as soon as I saw that review I just. left the house and walked around the neighborhood with my girlfriend. like speedwalking, she could barely keep up with me, and then like. I did not speak or eat or drink for like two entire days. it was. not good

and like at that point I thought the whole thing was ruined and I'd just wasted those three years and I felt like the biggest idiot of all time for fumbling that situation like that

but like. that was the last negative review we ever got, the game has a 9/10 rating as of now and like. that's really really good actually, I have every right to be proud of this project, and I have absolutely loved watching so many people play it and stream it and enjoy it and hearing everyone's thoughts about it

but damn those first few weeks were rough as hell, and I hope it never goes like that again when I release a game, or at least, I will be better prepared, heh

when you put your everything into a project, especially when it's for a long time, the more vulnerable it makes you when you finally release it to the public, I think that's the biggest lesson to learn here for me

#grey area #gamedev #indie dev #life experiences

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eldesperadont · 2 years ago

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hello and welcome to the start of my rough Despe/Hiromu recap essay! I'll go over their history in relation to one another. A big reason for this recap is to explain my fascination with the 10+ year long history of these characters, and why I, a queer person, is so drawn to it — this post will include links, spoilers and cover the first 9 years of their careers. If you have corrections or additional infos pls DM me!!

egg, (2010-2012)

Hiromu Takahashi and El Desperado started their pro wrestling training around the same time in NJPWs dojo – both passing NJPW's entry exam in 2009 and training for roughly a year till they officially debuted in 2010.

Desperado in March under his real name, Mikami Kyōsuke, and Hiromu later in August. And here we already have some key moments:

Takahashi's professional debut was a singles match against Mikami. (its on YouTube btw)

Despe's first ever singles victory was defeating Hiromu in said debut match.

Mikami is older and ahead of Takahashi, going on to have an impressive winning record over Hiromu, who only managed to get a sole victory over Despe during their time together as students. (two if you count in a dark match)

Hiromu genuinely struggled a lot as a Young Lion (dojo trainee), having been close to giving up on wrestling if it weren’t for main roster wrestler Tetsuya Naito, who took him under his wing.

So yeah starting off Despe had the upper hand.

This part of their career is the hardest to research given that 1.) the language barrier was way higher a decade ago, 2.) there straight up is barely any footage. So instead, I want to explain the emotional importance of the NJPW dojo background:

The time as Young Lions in NJPW is kayfabe canon. These guys are rivals but also teammates, live and train together, fight with/and each other, cheer each other on in their bouts with the seniors, carry each other to the back when they once again got beaten – these guys are close, they have to, it's them against the world.

And that is the case for pretty much all the homegrown NJPW talent. This system provides feuds with an emotional core; why would someone who was that close be so cruel to each other now? What turns brothers, best friends, partners into enemies? So much room for juicy rivalries with a real weight behind it, after all we watched these guys grow and learn, saw their highs and lows.

Also on a less serious note it's simply amusing to watch old stuff and see two guys that will be bitter rivals, who’s matches will get praise and awards - tag together in mostly fruitless efforts, stumble behind the curtain together and be so clueless about all the greatness they’ll achieve one day thanks to each others hard work.

Young Lions my beloved <3

oceans apart, (2012-2016)

As is custom with most Young Lions both went on excursion: Mikami graduating first, in 2012, and working in Mexico for a year as "Namajague" - Hiromu leaving Japan the year Desperado debuts on the New Japan main roster, in 2014, touring in Mexico and the US as "Kamaitachi" till August 2016.

Both worked in CMLL as heels, as is custom for foreign trainees, starting as masked wrestlers, loosing them in a stipulation match, and also getting their hair shaved at some point.

Here you have unmasked Namajague, who went on to rock a half facepaint look and had half of his hair bleached (in 2014, a trendsetter)

and here you got a young unmasked Kamaitachi (yes he was in a team with Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian in RoH)

These are the years Mikami and Hiromu don’t interact in canon, but in an 2020 interview Desperado confessed that he kept an eye on Takahashi during the latter's excursion, cause of his success in Middle/North America and spectacular matches with Dragon Lee.

Love confessions, (May - June 2018)

Their rivalry was fully rekindled in the “Best of the Super Juniors 25” tournament, so let’s set the scene:

Takahashi’s successful: having won the most important championship for their weight division in his first year on the main roster. He’s beloved by fans and critics and a valuable member of his mentor's faction, Los Ingobernables de Japon.

El Desperado is struggling: unsuccessfully having fought for singles titles several times in the last couple of years. His only championship victories so far having been in the tag division, after joining Suzuki-gun, a shady group that tolerates him, but not without hurdles. The masked man debuted in 2013 as a cheerful honourable guy, but by now he was just a bitter, sinister bastard.

They will have their first singles meeting in 6 years, and their first on the main roster.

They are winking and nodding towards the fact that Desperado already has several wins over the younger guy, but do not address who Despy really is - officially Mikami Kyōsuke hasn’t wrestled in New Japan ever since he left for Mexico.

Leading up to the BOSJ Hiromu made a booklet in which he describes all of his possible opponents, Desperado's page is kept blank at first, but later Takahashi adds “I know who you are, and I hate you.”

Despy wants to impress Hiromu. He was one half of the IWGP Jr. Tag champs at that point and took both belts with him to the ring - he's also wearing a special mask, that is mostly white, a colour Japanese wrestlers tend to only wear on special occasions/in big matches.

A lot has changed since they last fought 1 on 1 - except one thing: Hiromu cannot beat Desperado.

Both didn’t shy away from using dirty tricks, but in the end Despy has the upper hand once more. As his opponent lays defeated in the ring the masked menace has this to say:

(postmatch promo) (the match)

Hiromu will go on to win the tournament and IWGP Jr. Heavyweight belt from Will Ospreay at the 2018 Dominion show, but the loss to his fellow former Young Lion means that the latter has the right to challenge him, and so he does, in this now infamous promo.

please watch the whole thing: link

(funfact, this happened the same night Kenny won the IWGP Heavyweight Title with Ibushi in his corner, the gays were EATING that day, in pride month no less)

Leading up to their confrontation Hiromu would post a video on his twitter playing the 'love me/not' flower game, landing on "he loves me" - which promptly makes him eat the flower in frustration

On the day of their match, June 18 2018, he brings Desperado a present:

A bouquet in a guitar case, a cruel call back to Desperados main roster debut back in early 2014: after Kota Ibushi won the IWGP Jr. Heavyweight belt at Wrestle Kingdom 8 a masked stranger approached the ring with a guitar case, revealing it to carry a bouquet of black roses for the freshly crowned champ (who was a lil confused by the whole situation)

It was the start of Despes unsuccessful run as a face and partnership with Ibushi (which you can read as the first man he tried to pursue).

The masked lad wasn't that fond of Hiromu bringing back old memories.

Their match is an all out war, both using underhanded tactics to keep the other one down, including Hiromu unmasking Despy, who shockingly doesn’t care at all - which is a huge deal, I'm going to quote Japanese NJPW commentator Milano here because he said it best:

“To a masked wrestler that’s your identity. It’s everything. But Desperado has it ripped off and then just puts it on like he was fixing his necktie. He was saying that this very essence of himself wasn’t as important as Hiromu or the belt." (translation by Chris Charlton)

But in the end Hiromu is victorious, finally ending his losing streak. After the match he has some interesting things to say:

(postmatch promo) (the match)

Life’s a b*tch. (mid 2018 - late 2019)

Hiromu's next title defence is in August 2018 in the USA against Dragon Lee, a match I still haven't been able to watch and probably never will. Due to a messed up move from his opponent, Hiromu lands hard on his neck, breaking it in the process. He somehow managed to finish the match but collapsed backstage, immediately being rushed to a hospital.

In the documentary RED HEADED REVIVAL Hiromu shared that he knew right away that something was wrong – he saw his life flash before his eyes and feared that this is the end of his career, but he decided against stopping the fight:

It took Hiromu over a year to fully recover.

That wasn't the only unfortunate incident though: in spring of 2019 Desperado broke his jaw in a deathmatch against his idol Jun Kasai. The timing couldn't have been worse: the highly anticipated BOSJ Tournament for that year being just about to start. Despe had to withdraw mere days before its opening.

Neither of them would make a return till late 2019. And their next actual confrontation wouldn’t be till 2020.

It was a sad time to be a fan of either - with Hiromu we didn't know till his return if he will even be able to wrestle again. And with Despy we had to witness fans being unnecessarily rude to him, ridiculing him about doing a deathmatch in the first place, eventho the injury could have occurred in any type of match. (if I remember correctly, Desperado even deleted his twitter due to the fan backlash)

BUT I'm gonna end this post on a good note:

1.) Despy's return marked the start of a new era for him:

He wasn't gonna apologise, he broke his jaw, so what? Shit happens. He wasn't going to pretend that the situation didn't happen either tho, hell - Despe returned in a shirt covered in blood spots, making direct references to the match he got injured in. (sth he talked about in this video) And his mask? Dons a fractured jawbone now, the cracks filled in with gold - reminiscent of kintsugi, a Japanese method for repairing broken ceramics with a special lacquer mixed with gold, silver, or platinum. The philosophy behind the technique is to recognize the history of the object and to visibly incorporate the repair into the new piece instead of disguising it.

2.) Hiromu wasn't giving up on his way of life either, making a spectacular return - the best was yet to come. Individually and together/against each other.

Stay tuned for the next part, that will absolutely also take me ages to finally put out, I'm apologising in advance,, anyways thx bye!! <3 👹🐱

#el desperado #hiromu takahashi #percht.txt #wrestling thoughts tm #🐱👹#njpw #desperomu #namajague #kamaitachi #mikami kyosuke

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stickofcha0s · 1 year ago

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'Walk In' Doug Remer x Reader Pt. 2

Read part one here

Pair: Doug Remer x afab reader

A/N: heyyy, thanks for the positive feedback on part one!! made me feel good about writing again. If you haven't read part one its linked above, I'd recommend doing so. I haven't written a scene like this in literal years so hopefully its good lol. If ti is lmk an I have a spicier part 3 in mind.

word count; 5,233

warnings: NSFW; oral (f! receiving), p in v, hj, slight roughness (little hitting and choking), more perv Remer. I think that's it but just prepare yourselves in case.

Summary: a few weeks after the 'incident', you accidentally walk in on Remer.

———————————

Walk in pt2

It has been a week or so since the…incident. That’s what you were calling it.

After Joe had come home Remer was walking around like nothing had even happened.

You spent the rest of your night finishing the pasta which turned out a little too soft, and then hiding out in your room, flustered about the whole situation.

Tonight Joe was out with Jenna and so it was just you and Doug at home. You were both on the couch watching Road Kill: Caught on Tape. Instead of the usual sitting side by side under a blanket, you were sitting at the opposite end of the couch, your feet tucked under you as you covered yourself with your own blanket.

Remer had his head resting in his palm, beer in his other hand which he occasionally sipped from.

There was definitely an awkward tension between you two and your pretty sure it was from your side. Remer could blow situations like this off with ease as he often had one night stands with fans or random chicks at the bar.

You tried to focus on the tv, trying to distract yourself, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. You looked at the time on your phone 9:57.

You knew Joe wouldn’t be home until after 3, if he even decided to come home at all that night. He occasionally would stay the night at Jenna’s.

You felt restless as you sat on the couch shifting.

“You good?” Remer asked raising an eyebrow at you and bringing the can to his lips.

“Uh huh” you nodded. You watched his Addams apple bob as he gulped down the drink, just stirring up the restlessness feeling inside you.

“I’m just tired, I think I might go to bed” you said faking a yawn.

“It’s only 10.” He pointed out. He was right. Usually you guys were up until the early hours of the next day watching movies or talking while shit faced.

You shrugged “works been taking a toll on me” you explained trying to excuse yourself, rubbing your shoulder as if you were sore.

He nodded “yeah, okay get some rest, yeah?”

You nodded at him starting to get up.

“Hey- grab me a beer before you head out would ya?” He asked.

You gave him a thumbs up before heading to the kitchen, your blanket draped over your shoulder.

You grabbed a beer from the fridge and a drink for yourself and some snacks, heading back over to the couch.

“Here” you extended your hand out handing him the can. He reached out to grab it, fingers brushing yours.

“Thanks, you’re a doll.” he smiled settling back into the couch. “Sleep well”

“Thanks..” you mumbled heading down the hall to your room.

You went to your room closing the door behind you.

For the next few hours you were pent up in your room watching movies on your laptop, and snacking.

Around 11 you heard the hall light click off. Remer had probably headed to his room.

You waited until around midnight to wander into the kitchen to get some water. Your feet padded against the carpet, trying to navigate in the dark. You flipped on the kitchen light filling yourself a glass of water. You leaned against the counter taking in the silence.

Joe probably wouldn’t be home anytime soon considering he hadn’t even bothered to text you to let you know.

You rested your head against the cool counter, it was hot and stuffy in your room and it got nearly unbearable during the summer months. Keeping your window open at night barley helped, it just cleared up some of the humidity.

A soft noise broke through the silence of the apartment. You stood up straight looking around.

There it was again.

You let your curiosity get the best of you as you wandered towards the noise. Of course it was coming from Remer’s room. What was he doing now?

The door was cracked open and a faint light leaked from the door across the carpet.

The noise came again- a frustrated groan.

“Remer?” You asked quietly approaching the door.

He could be having problems putting the sheets on his bed again. You always had to help him with that.

You peeked through the door, your hand flying up to your mouth at the sight.

Remer was lying on his bed, shorts pulled down just enough to have a hand wrapped around his hard, leaking member. Your eyes widened at the thickness. You wonder how you were ever able to take that during the drunk hookup a few years ago.

Only his bedside lamp was on, illuminating the sheen of sweat that covered his face and bare chest.

His glasses had slipped and were sitting on the tip of his nose as weak whines and pants came from his mouth, eyes screwed shut.

His hand moved faster as he arched his back.

“(Y/n)..” he choked out in a panting moan

Oh my god

You held your hand up to your mouth as you moved out of the doorway as so not to be seen.

Wait a second.

Was that-

He brought it up to his nose burying his face in it as he groaned, his hand picking up speed. The sounds going straight to your core.

“Is that my bra?”

As soon as those words had come from your mouth you clamped a hand over it.

Shit. You hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

His head snapped towards the door, pushing his glasses up as he cried out going to cover himself.

“Sorry I-“ you backed away from the open door.

He quickly pulled his shorts up, a large tent still remaining.

He panted softly. “I’m sorry-it was just there and you haven’t been talking to me-so you’ve been on my mind..“ he choked out his voice cracking mid sentence.

Jesus, he sounded so desperate

You walked into his room, your knees weak as he sat up, your bra clutched in his hand.

His eyes took in your body, again stopping at your chest.

You snatched the bra from him, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Perv..watching me.” He mumbled under his breath.

You raised an eyebrow “what was that?”

“How long were you watching?” Remer asked moving closer.

“I-“ your cheeks flushed.

“It doesn’t matter-don’t take my stuff” you scolded trying to change the subject.

“I didn’t steal it, you left it” Remer protested.

“Plus shouldn’t I be the one mad at you? You’re completely invading my privacy right now” he crossed his arms over his chest, getting up and towering over you.

Some of the more loose curls were matted to his forehead.

“I- your door was open!” You sputtered. “You sounded distressed and I thought you might need help or something-!”

His eyes changed and a small smirk appeared on his face. “I mean, I could use some help”

You rolled your eyes, in the process they got lost and trailed down his chest, a thin layer of sweat still covering his skin. Then Down to his member which was still straining against his shorts just begging to be touched.

God…

“You’re gross” you scowled.

“You’re a perv” he shot back.

“I could say the same about you” You huffed softly.

He looked down at you hungrily. Just his look made you nervous, your heart starting to pick up its pace.

“I thought you were going to sleep” he said after a moment of tense silence.

You shrugged softly. “I tried, I couldn’t..”

“Y’know” his hand swept from your wrist up to your shoulder. “I could help you with that.”

“Doug..” you breathed disapprovingly.

His brows furrowed. “Hey you can’t deny it, the energy between us has been different lately.”

He was right. Even before the incident things had shifted. You didn’t get after Remer as much when he was a little too touchy. And then after the incident the tension was so thick you couldn’t be within three feet of him without your stomach doing flips.

He stepped closer and leaned down his lips ghosting past your ear.

“Whadya say..” he breathed. He pushed his hips closer his hardened member pressing against you.

Fuck..

His words went straight to your core, feeling your body heat up.

“Cmon it’ll be between us.” He persisted, twirling some of your hair around his finger.

His lips moved down to your neck and his arms snaked around your waist.

You let his lips ghost across the skin sending shivers through your body.

“You’ve been on my mind constantly since the other night” he mumbled against your skin.

“Oh yeah?”

He nodded. “Can’t get the sight of you in your bra, looking helpless outta my head..”

“You wanna know what really turned me on?” he asked as he started to kiss your neck softly.

“What’s that?” You hummed.

“When you hit me..” you could feel him smile against your skin as the words left his mouth.

You looked down at him furrowing your brows, his curls tickling your nose.

“Huh? When I hit you?”

He nodded his head lifting up to meet your eyes again. “You’re hot when your angry”

“Is that why you’re always trying to get on my nerves?” You asked smiling at the boy.

He shrugged.

Remer loved it when you got frustrated. The soft sighs and groans that left your lips as he hid your things around the house. He imagined they’d be close to the noises you’d make when he finally got his mouth between your legs.

“What so you like it rough or something?” You asked laughing a little joking around.

Remer brought his lips to your neck again. “Maybe” he mumbled. “Would you be upset if I told you I intentionally try to piss you off?”

“By doing what?” This intrigued you.

He hooked his arms under your legs as he lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck.

“Mm you know how your computer stopped working last week?” He asked against your shoulder.

“Remer what did you do?” You asked getting serious, your smile disappearing.

“I uh- well Coop was using the tv and I was just really horny- I had to get off and I was having trouble and-“

“Doug!” You gasped. You struggled against him until he let you down.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“I needed something to get off to- I didn’t mean to download a virus.” he protested.

“Remer I need that for work” you scolded him.

He gulped softly as your voice started to raise.

“I also, I did go through your drawers” he admitted sheepishly.

You felt heat rise to your face.

He started to approach you again.

“It’s just hard to control myself around you” he whined. “Your scent is just like intoxicating and you look better in your underwear than any model in a magazine I’ve ever seen.”

You couldn’t have any privacy living with two guys. They were always in your goddamn business.

“What, you want me to slap some sense into you?” You Huffed.

His eyes lit up. “I mean maybe that’d help me..” he said trying to restore him composure.

He definitely had pissed you off. You’re laptop was unusable due to the viruses he downloaded and you would need to buy a new one, you could hardly afford it and had to pick up extra shifts to even make the first payment. And he had denied touching it when you had confronted him and Coop.

But…the fact he liked being hit kinda turned you on and flipped a switch in you.

“Sit on the bed” you instructed.

He did as told rushing over to the bed. You watched his hard on which had started to go away grow again. The sight making you weak in the knees.

“I can’t believe you did that.”

“M’sorry, I’m just horrible aren’t I?” He teased pouting a little.

You bit your lip shaking your head in disapproval. He gulped nervously as you stood between his legs. His hands raised to your hips gripping them tightly. He looked up at you from where he was sitting.

“Someone’s gotta teach you not to touch other peoples things”

He nodded.

You stepped back a little watching him. “You’re always-always going through my shit. I never have any privacy.” You deprecated.

You could see the excitement in his eyes grow as you went on.

“You’re a fucking perv. Even to live here I had to expose some part of myself to you! You walk in without knocking, my clothing is always disappearing. When will it be enough?” You asked, getting yourself worked up.

“I can’t help myself around beautiful women” he shrugged innocently.

That’s it, he’d get what he wanted so badly.

You raised your palm seeing him wince before striking him on the cheek. The sound echoed throughout the bedroom and a thick silence lingered after. Doug’s face was turned to the side and his glasses had slipped down his nose.

A red mark was left behind on his cheek.

He grinned a little after regaining his composure. “Let me make it up to you”.

He stood up again towering over you. He turned you so the back of your knees were pressed against the bed.

“I’ll make you feel so good that you won’t have any choice other than to forgive me.” He looked down at you leaning forward.

“Yeah?” You looked up at him then back down at his soft lips.

“Mhm” his hand went to your chin tilting your head forward.

You don’t know how he could make your mood change back and forth this quickly.

“I’ll show you How well I can behave” he moved your chin forward so your lips met.

Sparks erupted in your stomach when you guys kissed. His hands trialing from your chin to your waist.

When he pulled away he kissed your jaw softly.

“‘N I still didn’t finish showing you what my mouth could do..”

This excited you your heart picking up pace.

He stepped forward, forcing you to fall back on the bed. You scooted towards the headboard as he followed in suit crawling onto the soft mattress.

“Let’s get these out of the way” he said placing his hands on your knees.

He parted your legs so he could get between them, his hands going back to grab your hips.

His hands slid under your shirt as he pressed kisses to your jaw, down your neck, sucking softly.

He rubbed circles into your hips as you sighed.

He was good with his mouth. And he was still only above your neck.

His hands slid up under your shirt, removing it.

“There.. now we’re equal” he smirked as he tossed it to the side.

Now you were both shirtless.

He kissed down your chest as your hand went to his hair massaging his scalp softly. He hummed against your skin.

He bit at the plush skin, causing your breath to hitch as you threw your head back.

“Mmm”

“You like that?”

“Mhmm”

He pulled your bra down releasing one of your breasts, coming free and bouncing softly.

Remer could have cum right there just at the sight of the soft skin jiggling and your nipple hardening as it hit the air, excited.

Like last time his mouth was quick to attach itself to it.

You let out a whine tugging on his hair. His moans vibrated against the sensitive bud causing you to tug even harder.

You could feel yourself getting wetter by the minute, your muscles contracting around nothing.

“Fuck..” you breathed out as he let his teeth graze past it.

“Doug..” you whined.

You hardly called him Doug. Usually it was only when you were mad at him. You usually addressed both boys by their last name like some sort of teammate or something.

Remer loved it when when you called him this.

He lifted his head up to meet eyes, going back to attack your lips. He bit down on your bottom lip sucking as he let his hand snake between your thighs, cupping your heat through your shorts. His glasses pressed against your face as he hungrily kissed you.

He removed his hand to hump against you, his hardened member poking your entrance through both your layers of clothes. You could start to imagine his girth just from that, making your heart beat excitedly in your chest.

You whined as you gripped his shoulders bringing your hips down to meet his.

He let out a low moan letting his hips buck back up, on instinct trying to push into you.

Precum was already starting to leak through his shorts as he was painfully hard, basically getting unintentionally edged when you had interrupted him earlier.

“As much as I like this…last time you said you’d only just begun to show me your mouths abilities..” you mumbled as breathed into his mouth “I wanna see what else that mouth can do.”

He pulled away grinning.

“If you insist.” His mouth went back to kissing your body, leaving a trail down to your stomach, Kissing, licking, and sucking all its way. His kisses were hot and wet, leaving a noise every time he let his lips detach from your skin.

When he made it to your waist band he sat up a little. He tapped your knees. “Up”

You brought your knees up so they were bent, Doug still in between them. He kissed your navel, licking the skin.

He sank down between your legs letting his nose rub against you through your shorts.

You gripped the sheets trying not to react.

“God I can feel the heat through your shorts, I didn’t know you had the hots this bad for me” he simpered up at you.

Your sure you were bright red from that comment. “Shut up” you scowled at him.

“Cchh-shh, calm down” he shushed.

He hooked his fingers under your waistband pulling your shorts off.

A smile crept up on his face as he pulled them past your ankles discarding them somewhere in the room.

“Shit, you do have the hots for me! Look how fuckin’ wet you are- I can see it through your panties” he grinned.

His words made your core throb, probably soaking the fabric even more. Of course you had the hots for him. Though you would never admit it because he could be the biggest ignorant and inconsiderate asshole ever, and you weren’t going to let him live with that satisfaction of his roommate fantasizing about being railed by him.

“Y-you’re just convenient” you fired back.

“Sure thing boss” he hummed raising his brows.

After taking off your bra, He hooked his fingers under your panties pulling them down, revealing your heat, exposed. You shivered as the cold air hit you.

He hooked one finger on each side of your underwear displaying it.

“Mmm- y’know I won’t take your bra but I’m definitely keeping these.”

You furrowed your brows at him.

“Remer- what did I say about taking my shit?”

He balled the panties up pressing them up to his nose, inhaling letting his eyes flutter shut.

The sight made you force out a shaky breath.

He opened his eyes, moving from between your legs. He moved to his bedside table, shoving the panties in the top drawer.

“Too bad” he mumbled pushing out his bottom lip, pretending to pout, mocking you.

He sunk back between your legs, brining his face down to your opening.

He blew softly on your heat, earning a whine out of you.

“You look delicious” he hummed.

You looked down at his curls, unable to see his face.

“I hope todays an all you can eat buffet” he said chuckling softly.

You rolled your eyes letting out a small laugh. “You’re stupid Doug.”

“I can’t think smart around you” he responded.

You painfully waited as he teased you, using his fingers to part your lips and mumbling things to himself that you couldn’t understand.

You whined, trying to urge him to touch or do anything to stimulate you.

“God you’re so fucking wet…” he muttered.

Finally he brought his face forward, starting slow and then picking up his pace, attacking your folds.

You bucked your hips at the sudden feeling, hand going to grip his hair.

He sucked on your clit, letting his teeth graze over your bud.

You pushed his face closer, causing his nose to press into your pubic hair and his glasses smushing against the skin.

You let out a mewl as he basically made out with your clit sucking at the sensitive skin. Lewd noises filled the room as he hungrily fed on you, echoing in the hot and quiet room.

He pulled his mouth away moaning softly, looking up at you. Your juices covering his chin.

“You taste so sweet” he whined out.

You reached down to pull his glasses off his face

“There, now they won’t be in the way” you put them on the dresser.

He Dove back down blowing on you.

He tsked

“Getting all over my clean sheets, you’re so messy”

Your cheeks flushed as he made comments about you.

“Gonna have to clean this mess up-“ he pushed his face between your thighs, his tongue entering you. You yanked on his hair.

“Doug!~”

He gripped onto your thighs to steady himself as he pushed his face forward seeing how deep his tongue could reach.

You let out a string of lewd noises as he tongue fucked you, muscles trying to clench around his tongue. his grip tightened on your thighs, definitely leaving bruises.

He lapped at your folds trying to clean up the mess you kept creating.

You could feel yourself already approaching your high. You hadn’t been touched in forever, let alone like this. And you were embarrassed to already be so close. But you’d never felt this pleasured before.

You bucked your hips up to meet his thrusts, his nose rubbing against your clit driving you crazy. He let his head relax as you gripped onto his hair, guiding it for him.

You moved your hips as you guided his head up and down, forcing his nose to stimulate your aching clit.

“I’m close” you cried as he sucked on your bud, feeling your muscles tighten.

He pulled his head away as you said that. When he looked up at you, you almost came at the sight. His cheeks were flushed and his nose down to his chin was glistening. He looked at you through half lidded eyes smiling.

You whined at the loss of his mouth, the cold air hitting you again making your muscles clench.

He sat up going to kiss you, forcing you to taste your own juices. You moaned as he knotted a hand in your hair, tugging gently.

He brought it around to the front where he squeezed your throat. You threw your head back gasping softly.

“Mm y’like that?” He mumbled into your neck nibbling on your ear lobe.

You nodded.

He kissed your jaw as he sat up.

“My tongue’s a little tired, I think I’m gonna show you the thing I’m best at” he smirked.

You gazed up at him through your lashes

“And what’s that”

He pulled down his shorts tossing them to the side leaving him in boxers, his member straining against them leaving no need for the imagination. A wet patch had leaked through. You pressed two fingers to the dark patch.

“That’s all because of you” he said nodding softly.

You hooked your fingers in his waistband, pulling them down. His member sprung out slapping against his stomach. He hissed lightly as the cool air hit him. Your eyes widened as you looked at him between your legs.

It looked even thicker up close and he had a thick bush. This somehow turned you on even more.

He seemed to notice the nervous expression on your face.

“Don’t worry. I’ll try not to split you in half” he said trying to suppress a smile.

You nodded as you leaned back resting on your elbows.

He rubbed his tip softly, precum leaking from it. He ran a hand down his member slicking it up with his own juices.

He leaned forward looking down trying to guide himself, a hand on his base.

The only sound was your heavy breathing, your chest rising and falling.

He kissed your neck softly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go slow”

He lined himself up, pressing through your folds and guiding the tip in. You spread your legs apart even more hoping it would help open you up. Luckily you were wet enough for it not to be horrible.

“So wet I don’t even need lube” he breathed out.

You screwed your eyes shut digging your nails into his shoulder as he pushed himself in inch my inch.

Your muscles tightened around him as he slowly inched in until he bottomed out.

He filled you up perfectly. You felt so full.

He pressed his face into the crook of your neck as he let you adjust, waiting for the pained look on your face to go away.

You gave him a nod and he propped himself up.

His pace started slow at first. His girth moving in and out of you causing your head to roll back.

“Oh Doug..” you whimpered.

“Tell me how bad you want it” he mumbled into your ear.”

“I need you…so bad” you mewled cupping his face as he panted into your ear slowly thrusting in and out.

Those words were all he needed.

He pulled out to shift you, throwing your legs over his shoulder to get a better angle.

He Gripped your hips and gave you a quick kiss on the lips before slamming into you. You gasped gripping the sheets.

He immediately started ramming in and out of you at an inhumane pace.

You used one Hand to grip his shoulders, your nails digging into his soft skin and your other hand naturally went to his hair.

Wet noises filled the room as his hips met yours over and over again.

Doug was not quiet in bed and his moans and whines drove you crazy. He was definitely enjoying this as much as you were.

He leaned forward to give you a kiss every now and then, his nose pressing against your face. Though kissing wasn’t very successful. So lust drunk that it was basically you just moaning and panting into each other’s open mouths.

“So fucking tight- gonna loosen you up so much that you’ll feel empty unless I’m the one fucking you” he growled into your ear.

You nodded crying out as you yanked on his hair, his head falling back. You watched his eyes screw shut and his mouth hang open.

“Oh god..” he whimpered.

“Do that again” he begged as he fucked you harder, the headboard starting to hit the wall.

You tugged again harder this time.

“So good babe” he mewled. One of his hands went to your throat clamping around it as he fucked you senseless. Hips snapping forward.

You screwed your eyes shut as he cut off your airway feeling the high within your brain. Every few seconds he loosen his grip to hear you moan and let you breathe.

You felt your legs shake as they sat on his shoulders, heat pooling in your stomach.

Doug was determined to have you finish before him. He pressed a hand to your lower stomach increasing the pleasure.

You cried out, bucking your hips do meet his thrusts.

“Oh fuck Doug- I’m so close” you cried as he pressed in your stomach.

He nodded, a bead of sweat dripping down his face.

“Look at this (y/n)!” He grabbed your hair, yanking your head up to watch him thrusting inside you. You moaned as he did so.

“I’m the only one who can fill you this good!” He raised his voice, but a shaky whimper remained behind it.

“I’m the only one who can fill up a slut like you” he growled. His words sent you over the edge as you clenched around him, earning a high groan from him.

He furrowed his eyebrows as he let your hair go, letting you fall back into the pillows. Your body buzzed as he thrust into your sensitive spots, making you whimper.

His hand came up to palm your breast as he felt you start to clench around him, rolling your nipple between his fingers.

“Doug I’m close~..” you panted.

He nodded. “Come for me- look at me when you do”

You lifted your head to make eye contact with him as he thrust into you. You clenched around him as he watched you, his mouth slightly open.

You gripped his shoulders as you felt yourself peak.

“Mm say my name when you cum” he told you. He thrusted over and over into your sensitive spot as you reached your climax.

You felt your eyes roll back as your body clenched around him, shaking.

“Jesus- Doug!” You cried out as you came, harder than you had in a long time.

“M right here baby” he assured you, as he slowed down his pace a little.

You panted as you came down. He kissed you as you came back.

“M right behind you” he slowed down pulling out, his length fully erect and painfully hard.

You rushed to sit up shaking as you wrapped a hand around his length, pumping it as fast as you could get your buzzing arms to go. He sat between your legs moaning as he tugged on his own hair whimpering obscenities.

“M’ cumming” he warned.

You bit your lip panting as you sped up, rubbing his tip.

“Oh fuck, yes- yes (y/n)!” He cried

You watched as his eyes rolled back and hot cum spirted from his tip, getting on your stomach.

His mouth hung open as he came to, panting.

“Holy shit” he mumbled.

You nodded.

“And you were down the hall this whole time?” He breathed.

He looked down at you, propped up on your elbows, cum on your stomach and your own juices wetting the sheets beneath you.

He grabbed a tshirt from the floor cleaning your stomach.

Gross.

He laid down next to you, putting on his glasses and looking at you with half lidded eyes, pulling the blankets over you both.

“So m’ i any good?” He smirked kissing your jaw.

You nodded, still exhausted. “I can’t believe we hadn’t done this sober yet”

He nodded in agreement. “I can’t imagine how that time we were wasted went”

“I’ve been wanting you for so long” he smiled.

“Yeah?”

He hummed. “Yeah”

“Was it as good as you imagined?” You asked

“Better” he panted running a hand through his hair.

You sat in silence for a bit, listening to the air conditioning.

“Next time it’ll be even better” he assured you.

“Who said there’s gonna be a next time?”you said turning to face him.

He smiled “what, are you saying you didn’t enjoy this enough to do it again?”

You shook your head “wasn’t saying that at all…”

“Mm so like I said next time will be even better” he repeated turning to burry his head in the crook of your neck and splay an arm around your waist.

#doug remer x reader #doug remer #baseketball #south park #matt stone #trey parker #idk what else to tag #doug remer smut #mattrey #joe cooper #Perv Doug Remer

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eris090 · 7 months ago

Text

Title - Wannabe War Hero

No archive warnings

Ships - Soldier/Spy (Team Fortress 2)

Tags - Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Bottom Soldier, Autistic Soldier, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Light Sadism, Internalized Homophobia

Description - Spy sees Soldier staring at him and catches on to what Soldier is (🏳️‍🌈) real quick.

Words - 4,642

It was a relatively normal day of ceasefire, as normal as the red barracks got in fact. Scout, pyro and medic were out investigating an unknown creature scout had sworn that he saw but spy was certain was just a vulture or something of the like. Demoman had already passed out and it was only 9 AM, and Sniper was nowhere to be found. This left only the members of the group that spy could actually stand being around in the commons area, most of the noise coming from the polite conversation that Engie was having with Heavy.

Only one thing was out of the ordinary, Soldier.

Soldier was known to be erratic and unpredictable, yes, and Spy supposes that the man's current behavior did fall under those categories. Nonetheless it unsettled him. The man was quiet. The rocket launcher toting, wannabe war veteran was quiet. As far as Spy knew the man only had two modes, fighting, and sleeping. Even off the battlefield he would seemingly always be trying to pick a fight with one of their co-workers. The man was restless, and yet here he was, presumably resting.

The most unusual, and unsettling thing about his behavior however, was the fact that he had been staring at Spy for 10 minutes. Soldier could usually only keep his attention on one thing for a handful of seconds, even less with a sedentary, masked frenchman. At least Spy assumed that Soldier had been looking at him, his head was pointed in his direction, and even though the man's helmet covered his eyes, he could still feel somebody watching him, a feeling that put him on edge despite the ceasefire.

This standoff went on for a solid 15 more minutes, with Spy refusing to relinquish his standoffish demeanor, and Soldier seemingly remaining ignorant to the fact that Spy could tell he was staring at him. Eventually it had to end though. Spy figured if he just approached the man and asked why he was staring at him like he was an introspective art piece, Soldier would finally just say what he was thinking, likely some patriotic drivel about how french Spy was, and the commons area could return to its regular state.

This was not the case.

Spy approached Soldier with his usual arrogant demeanor, the smell of fancy cigarettes wafting off of him and towards the patriot, causing a visible change in his expression. “Soldat!” Spy said in a tone that attempted to be aggressive but would likely be overshadowed by Soldiers' own screaming in a matter of moments. “Could you possibly tell me why you’ve been inspecting me for the past 25 minutes?”

This question brought Soldier out of his lead poisoned head, looking up at Spy with a surprised expression. “25 minutes?! I know time might be different over in the land of bag-ets but-” Soldier began exactly as Spy expected, leading the Frenchman to simply wait out the man's rant, which ended up lasting 2 minutes. “Right…” Spy sighed, looking exasperated at the soldier through his folded hands. “You have yet to answer my question however, soldat...why were you staring at me? I’m sure you have more important things to do with your time.” Spy repeated his question.

“Right!” The patriot replied, sounding sure of himself as always. “I was just admiring your body! Ignoring the fact that you’re French, your muscles are certainly something private!” Soldier finally answered, much to Spys despair and awe. The Frenchman stood frozen for a moment, still processing the words that were just yelled by the most heterosexual looking man he’d ever met. “You- You are such an idiot…” Spy shook his head, his face growing warm underneath his balaclava. Despite his reluctance to ever show it, flattery could get you a long way with the Frenchman.

The grin that was plastered on the soldier's face quickly disappeared at Spys comment, rage now replacing it. “Now you listen here frenchie! I ain't no sissy! Being proud of the fact that I have such strong men on my team just makes me more of a patriot!” Soldier replied, his voice becoming defensive in nature, which made Spy’s intense exasperation fade slightly for amusement.

As much as Spy wanted to retain his pompous (and nonexistent) reputation around the entirety of his team, he couldn’t help but think that Soldier could make for a wonderful distraction from his boredom during this ceasefire. The always self-assured patriot would be marvelous to see fall apart as a part of his sense of self shattered around him. Spy decided to ask a question that would have come off as sarcastic were he talking to anybody but Jane Doe. “Soldier, do you even know what the term homosexual means?”

The question brought Soldier to a pause for a brief moment before his grin returned. “You mean those men that get it on with other men? Those men who have never seen a battlefield in their life? Those men who-” Spy cut him off, lighting his third cigarette of the day in an attempt to stave off his frustration with the lead poisoned lunatic. “Yes, those men.” Spy rolled his eyes. “You do realize most of the men on our team are queer in some way or another right?”

Soldier gaped at the mere insinuation that any of ‘his men’ could be queers, stepping closer to Spy and pressing his finger against the secretive man's chest in an accusatory fashion. “Now you listen here missy, all our co-workers are hard working freedom fighters, all except you apparently, and I will not have you spread unsanitary rumors about them!” Soldier lifted his helmet with one finger to glare at Spy as he spoke.

Spy, in turn, guided Soldiers' eyes over to the Engineer and Heavy, who were sitting slightly too close to each other for it to be considered socially acceptable. It wasn’t the best example, but it was the only one spy had on hand. Soldier scoffed, “Oh please, that's completely normal!” The man defended with complete confidence. This gave Spy an idea as he dropped his cigarette to the floor and stomped it out with his foot, moving closer to Jane in the process.

“So…” Spy reached out and put his hand on Soldier's shoulder, a simple gesture that the patriot likely did not experience often. “Would you consider this normal?” Spy questioned confidently. Soldier did not waver however. “Of course that's normal! Son, I've held men in my arms as they died from their bullet wounds in no-mans-land! Just being close to another man doesn't make men queer! Especially me! Don't test me son, or you'll end up with a mouthful of fist!” The patriot attempted to Threaten, but only ended up amusing Spy due to the odd wording.

The Spy moved closer and draped his arms over Soldiers shoulders, wrapping him in a loose hug. “Hm, what about this?” Spy continued, the smugness in his voice likely obvious to anybody besides the soldier. “Don't push your luck, frenchi-” Soldier was cut off from his attempt to hide that he was beginning to get flustered by Spy taking his chin in his right hand and tilting it slightly upwards to look him in the eyes, or helmet rather. “What about this, démon amoureux du drapeau?”

“Uh…” Soldier mumbled dumbly, making Spy grin as he knew he had finally broken the man's resolve. “For a man who proclaims his own bravery every two sentences, you certainly can't take much criticism.” Spy mocked him, causing Soldier to full on growl up at the man, though he had yet to physically fight back. Spy chuckled lowly at the patriots animalistic behavior, taking a mental note of it. “I've seen the way you look at me when we're celebrating a victory, and let me tell you, espèce de beau fou, they are not looks of comradery, no matter how much you attempt to delude yourself into thinking they are.”

Soldier didn't understand half the words Spy was saying, however he did understand that he, unfortunately, liked them. Spy’s voice was like honey that he would coat himself in before going off to fight bears or robots or any other insane creature, and he hated it. The only thing that should have made him this happy was defending America and freedom, not some wuss of a Frenchman who was too cowardly to ever even actually fight during battles.

Despite everything however, Soldier did not argue when Spy gestured to follow him, waddling after the secretive bastard as he sauntered towards his smoking room. If anybody had seen him following Spy, Soldier hadn’t noticed, he was too transfixed with the flooring of the hallway, originally using it to distract himself from his thoughts, but eventually making a game of only stepping inside the tiles as he walked, a game with which he was so invested he hadn’t noticed when Spy had stopped walking, causing a collision on Soldier’s part.

Soldiers helmet fell to the ground with a loud metal clang, one which Spy quickly silenced by stepping on the helmet to stop it from spinning around before handing it back to its owner. The metal felt surprisingly clean for it to belong to a man like Soldier. It reflected the light that was casted by the mediocre ceiling lights and felt smooth in his hands, no dents or scratches able to be felt on the old piece of armor, obviously an item of importance to the war dog.

Spy became offended when, after being handed back his helmet, Soldier dusted it off as if Spy could have somehow gotten it dirty. Sighing, the frenchman opened the larger than was necessary door to his smoking room, holding it open and allowing Soldier to enter first. By now Soldier had built back up most of his confidence, so he only grinned. “Oh no, please, ladies first!” he joked, causing Spy to give him a glare that could shatter glass. Soldier looked back at the ground and entered the room, followed quickly by Spy.

While Spy closed the door as quietly as he could manage, Soldier busied himself with digging through Spy’s drawers, finding nothing of note and growing bored of the activity as quickly as he had begun it. Rolling his eyes as he strode over to Soldier, Spy lit another cigarette. “I expect even a man of your intelligence knew what I was proposing by leading you here?”

“Sir, yessir!” The patriot responded, his toothy grin endearing spy to his enthusiastic behavior somewhat. “Great, assuming you're ok with this arrangement then get to stripping, I don't have time for your idiocy.” Degraded Spy, Soldier didn't seem to mind at all though, already ridding himself of his clothing.

The man's body was scarred beyond belief. Usually when they respawned, any scarring that would have been received if the wound had healed naturally was nowhere to be seen, meaning these scars occurred outside of the battlefield likely from varying sources. The red team wasn't the safest group of individuals to spend all your time around after all. Hence why Spy spent most of his time in his smoking room.

His upper body strength was probably only second to Heavy's judging by his physique. Carrying around a rocket launcher 8 hours a day would do that Spy supposed.

Stepping towards the man, Spy ran a gloved hand down his chest and, after placing his cigarette in the ashtray on his dresser, pressed his lips to Soldiers, finding them about as dry as he'd expect. As Spys hand continued its way down the patriots body, it turned away just before reaching the place Soldier wanted it and gripped the man's toned thigh.

It was obvious the moment their lips met that Soldier may have not kissed anyone before, or if he had, both he and his partner had been extremely bad at it. Spy attempted to guide the man, lightly biting the patriots bottom lip in a seductive manner while he pressed his fingers deeper into the flesh of Soldiers thigh, massaging it thoroughly. The patriots returning grunts of presumably pleasure were good enough for Spy, however this didn't seem to improve how messily Soldier was returning his kiss, covering his lips with saliva as if he were a man exhausted of any water for days.

As Spy led the two backwards towards his couch, Soldier began undoing the buttons of Spy's jacket, a fatal error brought on by his enthusiasm that would only bring both of them more pleasure in the end. The Frenchman pushed Soldier away, causing the Patriot to stumble backwards until he landed on the couch heavily, looking up at Spy with a grin until he saw the Frenchmans irritated expression.

“What do you think you're doing, espèce de beau fou?” Spy straightened his suit. “Keep your filthy hands off of me. I am in control here and I will give you what you want once I deem you worthy of it, no sooner!” Soldiers grin returned slowly “As if you could stop me cupcake!” The patriot responded, half genuine, but mostly just trying to irritate the Frenchman.

Spy brought his foot onto the couch and stomped down on Soldier's yearning length, grinding his sole down against the flesh after Soldiers initial gasp of agony, grinning as he watched Soldiers head tilt backwards while he let out gravelly noises of pain. “Are you sure, Mon Cheur?”

Soldier responded only with a growl, finding it harder than usual to form words through the fog covering his brain. Spy gave another hard shove against his length when Soldier didn't respond with words. “Answer me, cretin!” The Frenchman demanded.

Soldier wanted to answer, tell Spy that it hurt and he wanted him to stop, but realistically it hardly hurt at all over the immense pleasure flooding his nervous system. He tried to grind up against the pressure Spy was granting him, but he was unable to find any pleasure in the angle, likely intentional on Spys part. Once again all Soldier could respond with was a growl, this time fading into a whimper as Spy cruelly dug his sole in more as punishment.

“With responses like those I believe a collar would fit nicely around that neck.” Soldiers cock twitched with arousal at the threat, finding Spys fingers tracing up his neck until the Frenchman grabbed his chin and forced the patriot to look up at him. “You'd enjoy that, wouldn't you?”

Soldier shook his head with restrained desperation, dejection clear in his posture. The Frenchman removed his foot from him and kneeled down so that he was level with the man's twitching arousal, giving a few weak pumps to the desperate man. “How completely vile, Mon Cheur…” teased Spy while the Patriot writhed weakly above him. “I expect better from a respectable military man. I hope you won't disappoint me any further.”

The only responses Soldier had mustered so far were grunts, which Spy had expected from a man of his intellect, but it was still quite disappointing. He would have to train that out of him.

Inspecting Soldiers length, Spy found it quite small length wise, probably not much longer than his middle finger, but it certainly made up for it with girth. The man's arousal looked to be the width of Spys closed fist, knuckle to knuckle.

Spy took the base in his hand and traced his tongue around the head, looking up at Soldier through hooded eyes while the Patriots head fell backwards with euphoria. Spy leaned back. “I'm sure a man of your background has quite a high pain tolerance, yes?” The question had Soldier perk up proudly. “You bet your ass I can take a beating!” Soldiers grin had returned, albeit a bit more shaky after Spys torment.

“Good, because you had best start responding to me more vocally lest I introduce you to a pain that you'll find quite unfamiliar I'm sure.” Threatened the Frenchman, admiring the way the patriots expression twisted into one of anxious arousal. Spy returned the man's length to his mouth, swallowing around the tip as he tried to take it deeper, managing to force the girth further down his throat before beginning a steady rhythm of bobbing his head.

The loner that Soldier was outside of work screamed at the stimulation that fucking into someone's mouth granted him in comparison to his own lubed up fist, Spys experienced tongue exploring along every crevice of the man's arousal. Soldiers hand fell onto the Frenchmans masked head, searching for something to hang on to but finding only the smooth fabric of Spys balaclava.

Soldier couldn't help himself but to buck his hips into the wet heat of Spys mouth, all but suffocating the Frenchman in the process. “Sweet lady liberty!” Gasped Soldier, finding the heat building in his stomach that made him feel like he was about to explode the most exhilarating sensation he had ever experienced. Spy could feel as the patriot smeared pre on the back of his throat, determined to keep this man waiting as long as he could manage.

Yanking the foolhardy patriots grip off of his head, Spy pulled back, red faced and gasping for air while the Soldier whined at the lost stimulation. “Would you be patient, you moron!? You damn near suffocated me!” Spy scolded, getting to his feet and gripping the patriot by his shoulder.

Soldier grinned wildly, red faced and gasping for breath as he looked up at Spy. “S…hah…sorry maggot.” He wiped drool from his chin and wiped it on the couch, making Spy grimace. The Frenchman sighed before returning to his seductive manner. “You're quite sensitive. Tell me, how often do you relieve yourself?” Spy spoke as he unbuttoned before shucking off his jacket along with his dress shirt.

“A true patriot doesn't give in to needs like those.” Soldier responded, turning his head to the side as he wished he still had his helmet on so he could hide his eyes. “That does not answer my question, Soldat.” Spy sternly returned, having now unbuttoned his pants so that he was left in only his boxers.

The floor had once again suddenly become very interesting to the patriot, his face burning worse than it did when he encountered the Blu Pyro. “I can't remember…” he mumbled. Spy was disappointed but he couldn't say he was surprised. The patriot had trouble remembering simple enemy locations.

As much as Spy wanted to Degrade the man for not remembering, he didn't want to punish somebody for something they couldn't change about themselves, even if the patriot would probably end up enjoying it. Spy sat himself on top of Soldier, straddling his strong thighs and resting his gloved hands on the back of the couch before moving them to the patriots chest.

The feeling of having his nipples rubbed wasn't a sensation Soldier had thought he'd ever enjoy. In fact, he had tried it himself when he was younger but had found no satisfaction in the act. But when it was Spy who was doing it. Sweet lady liberty. Soldier tried not to relish in the feeling of Spys velvet gloves dragging across the sensitive skin of his chest, finding that he couldn't hold back several growls and moans that wanted to escape his throat.

The patriot, to his own surprise, whimpered when Spy stopped rubbing his chest, instead trailing his fingers down Soldiers waist. “Not to worry mon cheur. I will continue.” Spy reassured with a shit-eating, but somewhat comforting smirk. The Frenchman gripped Soldiers waist tightly before moving his head down and taking one of the patriot's sensitive nubs in his mouth, making the man sigh rigidly through clenched teeth.

A soft bite did it to get rid of all of Soldiers remaining composure, Spy squeezing the nub between his canines to make the patriot crumble. Leaning back, Spy admired his handiwork. Soldier was already an absolute disaster of a man, that much he knew, but if he had known about this side of Soldier sooner he would have already taken him.

It was still the rocket launcher toting, stubborn maniac Spy had beneath him, but now he had been stripped of most of his perceived dignity. His face was damp with sweat, and reddened from the heat of the act. His length stood so erect it looked painful and small, barely noticeable tears were welling in his eyes which turned Spy on to no end.

The room was quiet aside from Soldiers panting as Spy straightened his back and cupped Soldiers face with his hand, drawing the patriots attention away from his euphoric pain. “Come now, best save your tears for when I’m fucking you into the cushions.” The Frenchman teased his pleasure bound captive, using his thumb to wipe away the small droplets that threatened to fall from the patriots eyes. Spys' crude words drastically differed in tone from his tender actions, but Soldier was currently too lust drunk to feel at all conflicted.

“Maggot…!” Soldier grumbled before Spy got to his feet, chuckling lowly as he stripped himself of his remaining clothing besides his mask. “Patience is a virtue, Soldat.” The Frenchman responded to Soldiers plea with faux anger as he guided him to lay down on the couch with his ankles hooked on Spys shoulders. “It will prove useful getting through this next part.” Spy grinned evilly as he took a bottle of lube from the table next to the couch and smeared some on his fingers.

The cold sensation of Spys lubed finger prodding against his hole was uncomfortable, but not unbearable. Even if it had been, Soldier would have been the last to admit it. When it pushed in, the cold sensation dimmed, but a new feeling quickly replaced it as Spys pointer finger was up to the knuckle inside of him.

Growling, Soldier squirmed underneath the Frenchman, this sensation proving to be more uncomfortable than pleasurable as his hole clenched around Spys digit. “I assume you have not done this before?” Spy questioned as he used his free hand to massage the patriots chest. “No sir…” Soldier responded in a gravelly sigh, his body relaxing slightly as Spy began his massage. “Relax, mon cheur. It will feel better if you do.” Spy guided the man, speaking somewhat softer now as the man below him seemed to be pacified for the moment.

The ring of muscles that had been squeezing Spys finger recoiled slightly, allowing the Frenchman to add his middle finger. Soldier growled at the sensation, still not finding much pleasure in it but remaining relaxed to the best of his ability. Spy pushed his fingers deeper inside the patriot until they were all the way in before he began to move them around, poking at different places inside the man.

It wasn't until Spy came across a bundle of nerves inside the Soldier that Soldier felt any pleasure. The patriot's breath hitched quickly before he let out a loud scream of pure euphoria as Spy smiled, pulling his fingers back before pushing into it again. “There, private! Right there!” Soldier screamed as Spy began repeating the motion at nauseum. The patriots head fell backwards over the armrest as he took in the sensation, emitting a constant stream of swears and incomprehensible growls.

Reaching over to the ashtray, Spy returned his cigarette to his mouth before focusing his attention back on the man below him. The tears from earlier had returned and were now falling down the patriots face while he tried to hide it by throwing his arm to cover his eyes, which Spy removed with his free hand. “Don't you dare try to hide from me.” Spy scolded as he stared into Soldiers reddened eyes, taking his cigarette out of his mouth with his free hand and leaning down to lick one of the tears from his cheek.

Soldier shuddered as he felt his climax creeping up on him, too lost in pleasure to be embarrassed about how quickly he was about to cum. Spy hadn't noticed the patriots increase in desperation evidently, that or he just wanted to torture the man. Spy met his lips with Soldiers while he continued to finger the man open, his free hand holding the cigarette pressing the butt down onto the patriots shoulder to put it out.

The pain pushed Soldier over the edge, leaving him arching his back to press himself further onto Spys fingers and eyes rolling back as he shot cum onto himself, streaking the white ropes across his chest and face as Spy didn't relent with his movements, continuing to finger the man open.

When Soldier looked back at Spy, the Frenchman was looking at him with an expression of disappointment, behind his eyes an evil plan developing. “I did not give you permission to finish.” Spy stated with concealed anger. Soldier did not respond immediately, his mind still recovering from his world shattering climax. “You didn't say I needed your permission-” Soldier barely finished his sentence when Spy slapped him.

“Regardless…” Spy began. “I'm not finished with you yet, mon serviteur. So you will lay here and take what I give you until I get my satisfaction.” Spy did not wait for a response before he removed his fingers and reached for the bottle of lube that he quickly uncapped and smeared the liquid across his moderately sized length.

Lining it up with Soldiers' now decently prepped hole, Spy pushed inside of the man completely, not offering the patriot the opportunity to adjust to the feeling before Spys pubic hair was scratching against his cheeks. “Agh-! S-sir!” Soldier moaned at the overstimulation, accidentally letting the formal title for Spy slip outside of him saying yes or no.

The Frenchman sighed in relief at the patriots hot, wet hole tightening around him, the pleasure leaving him in a brief state of delirium before he regained his consciousness and pulled out before roughly thrusting back in. “Oh, mon amour, call me that again.” Spy shuddered, fantasizing this man being subservient to him.

A deep blush overtook Soldiers wet face, stained with tears. “Sir…it's so much.” The patriot whined, uncharacteristically submissive to the Frenchman who was determined to fuck his brains out. “You can take it!” Spy growled “You're a soldier aren't you?” he teased as he slowly pulled back out again. Soldier gave a hasty nod before Spy thrust back in, now beginning a steady rhythm.

The tight heat of Soldier around him encouraged him to speed up his thrusts as he stared down at the gasping and moaning patriot below him. Soldiers' cries had long grown incoherent but when Spy unintentionally hit the patriots' prostate head on once again the man let out a string of very understandable swears and curses, pulling Spys head down to his to meet him in a rough kiss.

Spy violently fucked into Soldier as he kissed him. Pulling back, Soldier yelled, “I love you! You hear that m-maggot!? I love you, you french bastard!” The patriot came once again, now with Spys close proximity shooting onto the Frenchman's thighs, though Spy was too preoccupied to notice as he neared his own climax. “Je t'aime aussi, crétin! putain... putain!” He cried as he filled the man below him, rutting into the patriot desperately as he released his load.

The Frenchman panted as he came down from his high, looking down at the man beneath him and finding the moron who tempted him into doing this looking up at him with hooded eyes and a large grin plastered on his face. “What are you smiling for?” Spy questioned, trying to sound annoyed but coming off more amused. Soldier gave a low gravelly laugh. “C’mere cupcake!” He pulled Spy down into a kiss.

#tf2 #team fortess 2 #freedom fries #tf2 soldier #tf2 spy #tf2 freedom fries #cw // suggestive

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