#bc if I’m ever having a breakdown do NOT ask me if I’m okay it’s gonna make everything so much worse lmFAOOOO

[twistedappletree]

For the ace intimacy moment prompt: zhuiling ? 💛🩵💛🩵

Jin Ling is having a breakdown (possibly his third for the day because emotional peony is emotional) and Lan Sizhui knows that asking him what’s wrong will just make him cry even more, so instead, he holds him until he stops hyperventilating then cups his face in his hands, wipes his tears away and says, “It’s okay. Talk to me.”

[nickfowlerrr]

everybody talks

pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: 18+ only. smut, fluff, a bit of angst. unprotected p in v. dirty talk. nipple play. if i’m missing something that needs to be tagged, pls lmk!

words: almost 7.7k

notes: happy halloween 👻 so i had an idea for reclusive neighbor!bucky meeting reader when she stops by his house with a group of kids for trick or treating, and this is very much not that but i think it still works lol. also, i wrote this in a day? i don’t think i’ve ever written more than like 4k in a day before so, yay me!

i wanted to participate in @witchywithwhiskey’s horror movie hoe-a-thon but i decided so last minute and then thought the deadline was the 31st, but i absolutely read the guidelines wrong bc it was actually yesterday and i missed it lol. i’m linking her event still though bc i did use a quote prompt! 🖤

The loud shaking of the wobbly cart you grabbed in your hurry precedes you as you make your way through the ridiculously crowded grocery store. Normally you would have been mortified - probably would have left the cart and ventured off to grab what you needed sans basket - but you don’t have the time to be concerned about the looks you’re getting as you walk fast down the aisles. 

When your sister asked you for help organizing a family halloween party, you didn’t realize she meant an actual little community family friendly party for the street she lived on.

You had gotten two frozen pizzas, a bag of candy, a case of soda, and some random bags of chips you were sure your nieces would love, just last night. That would have certainly been enough for you, your nieces, and both your sisters, but unfortunately, that wasn’t where the guest list ended. 

The look on her face when you showed up to her house with just those few things would have been funny if she wasn’t already on the brink of a breakdown.

Her husband was out of town for work and she was doing all the halloween prep for Sid herself, thus why she enlisted your help with the party and your younger sister’s help for the trick or treating plans.

Before she could snap and completely lose her cool on you, you were already rushing to the front door, keys still in hand, promising you’d be back within the hour and she had nothing to worry about.

That’s how you found yourself among the crowd of the woefully unprepared this afternoon. 

You loaded the cart with six more frozen pizzas, three family servings of the deli’s hot and ready fried chicken, two packs of halloween cupcakes, two more cases of soda, an extra case of water, and three boxes of capri suns before you started filling the cart with the halloween party snacks you found in the holiday section. 

You were getting a workout as you pushed the basket, less shaky now thanks to the added weight, heading to the candy section to grab a few bags of whatever they had left.

You were distracted by the end cap display as you turned down the aisle and didn’t see the man standing right in front of you, accidentally running into him. Though, running into him sounds like an exaggeration. With how heavy your basket was, and how sturdy the man before you was, it was more like a bump - a love tap. He didn’t even really react to it aside from looking over briefly to you and your basket.

Even still, you apologized profusely, rambling an apology about not looking where you were going before you finally got an actual look at your victim. 

Your words stopped almost abruptly when your eyes met with crystal blues. His stare was icy, but not cold, moreso piercing.

He blinked and broke your trance, offering you a shy smile before he looked away.

“It’s okay, you’re fine,” he said, eyes fixed back on the shelves of candy.

He was dressed in dark denim jeans and a black crewneck sweatshirt, his hair was dark and down to just above his broad shoulders, and the stubble that lined his strong jaw suited him well. You didn’t realize you were staring again until he looked back up at you.

You forced yourself to smile then, ignoring the heat you could feel creeping up your neck and rising to your cheeks.

“Sorry,” you offered with a nervous laugh before you forced the cart behind where he stood to go onward. 

You could have sworn you saw a blush rising to his cheeks as he smiled to himself, avoiding your gaze, but you weren’t entirely sure. 

And you definitely didn’t have the time to ponder on it.

Instead, you began your own search of the shelves to find not only your nieces’ favorites, but your sisters’, too. 

They were both working hard to make their kids’ halloween a good one, they deserved a little treat themselves when all the work was done. You, on the other hand, still single and child free, were planning on treating yourself all night. You were there to help, sure, but most of the work wouldn’t be done by you. You were looking forward to seeing them off to trick or treat and plopping down on your sister’s couch to watch movies for the rest of the night - handing out candy, of course, should any kids come by.

Once the party was set up and over, you’d be free for the night and you couldn’t wait.

You were lucky to find most of what you were looking for, but couldn’t seem to find the last kind of chocolates you wanted to get. 

As your eyes scoured the shelves, you found yourself looking back over to where the handsome stranger still stood. His brows were furrowed as he held up two boxes of full size candy bars, seeming to be debating between the two.

The look of concentration on his face was endearing, you could almost chuckle at how serious in thought he seemed to be over candy.

You smiled to yourself, returning to your search. As your eyes left the man, traveling instead to the rows of candy in front of him, that was when you saw the bag you needed. In the section right where he was standing, because of course they’d be there. 

He huffed in exasperation before you watched him drop both boxes of candy into his cart. He turned to head down the aisle in your direction and his eyes widened slightly when he saw you still standing there.

“Oh, sorry, I’m in your way, aren’t I.”

“No, you’re fine!” You assured him as you left your basket, walking closer to him. “I just needed to grab this,” you said, looking up with the bag in hand. He hadn’t moved from where he stood as you approached, so you were inadvertently in his personal space - but he didn’t make any attempt to move from you. In fact, he looked almost frozen. 

His bright eyes were on you, one hand on his cart, the other clenched by his side. He seemed to go a bit ridge at your proximity, like he didn’t want to make any sudden movements, but he relaxed after a second after seeing your soft smile, blinking at you as his cheeks burned. 

You quickly backed away, hoping to not make him more uncomfortable and to not embarrass yourself further.

You grabbed onto your cart and looked his way once more, meeting his eye again as his sights were already on you. 

You smiled shyly, “Sorry, again, for hitting you,” you offered, “happy halloween.”

He didn’t respond verbally, but he did give you a small nod of acknowledgement.

Your smile grew tighter before you turned and made for the check out, sighing as you rolled your eyes at yourself, mentally chastising yourself for being such an awkward inducing mess. 

The lines were long and as you waited, you had to field a call from your sister, promising her you were checking out and would be back at her house soon.

You finally got through the line and were on your way out the sliding door when your cart almost crashed into another. You gasped as you pulled at your cart to stop, the heavy weight carrying it forward, its momentum causing it to almost ram right into the cart beside it.

The doors were only big enough for one cart to go through at a time, so you looked up to offer whoever it was you almost crashed into the lead.

It was your turn for your eyes to widen as you once again were met with those piercing blues.

“I am so sorry, I’m not doing this on purpose, I swear,” you laughed nervously, backing up a bit so he’d have room to go through the doors. “Go for it,” you said.

He shook his head, “Please,” he gestured for you to go in front, “ladies first.”

Had you not been in a hurry, you would’ve argued that he should go ahead, but seeing as your phone was lighting up with messages from your erratic sister, you smiled and pushed on forward. “Thank you,” you breathed.

You were trying not to pay attention as he followed behind you, but when you got to your car, halting your basket at your trunk, you couldn’t help but notice as he stopped next to you.

You looked over at him, and he looked over at you. He smiled this time, popping his trunk, “What are the odds?”

You tittered, not knowing how to respond. You couldn’t help your smile though as you turned back to your trunk and started putting the bags in.

He himself didn’t have much in the way of bags, and was finished putting his stuff away and taking his cart back by the time you were halfway done putting your stuff in your car.

You saw as he approached his door from your peripheral, and looked up and over in his direction as he abruptly stopped just before he was about to pull open his door.

For a second, he looked like he was about to turn around but then thought better of it, reaching for the door handle again before pulling away once more. 

He squeezed his car keys in his hand before he turned back around, completely this time. You blinked at him, in a bit of a stupor as he came up to you. You waited for him to speak as he opened his mouth before quickly shutting it, taking a breath, then anxiously licking his lips.

“I’m Bucky,” he introduced himself a bit stiffly before his lip quirked up in a nervous half smile. Your brows raised of their own volition before you gave him your name in turn.

He seemed to be relieved by your reply, as if he was worried you would have ignored him, before he took another step closer to your car. “Can I give you a hand?”

“Oh, uhm, sure. That’d be great, thanks.”

“Big plans for the night?” he asked as he slid the packs of soda and the water into the car.

“My sister is hosting a little halloween party for the families on her street before they head out trick or treating tonight, I’m helping her out with setup and food. But after that,” you sighed, putting a few more bags in, “I’m planning on just watching movies between trick or treaters. Nothing crazy. You?” you asked, looking over to him.

“I’m planning pretty much the same. I don’t know how many trick or treaters to expect, I’m new to the neighborhood and… maybe haven’t been the friendliest neighbor,” he cringed to himself as he grabbed the boxes of juice. “But I got the full size candy bars, so…”

“Sprung for the full size, huh? I’m sure those kids’ll love it. You’ll be the talk of the block,” you joked.

His chuckle had you smiling so hard you had to bite your lip to keep from looking like an idiot.

Bucky took the last of the bags from you and set them carefully down before he closed the trunk for you. You were hanging onto the cart, waiting to say bye before you walked it to its home, as he turned, shoving his hands in his pockets before he spoke. He had that anxious look on his face again, his eyes down at the ground while he licked his lips mindlessly before he met your eye.

“I, uhm,” he seemed to register where his hands were then and took them out of his pockets, “I hope this isn’t too presumptuous of me, but, did you maybe, want to exchange numbers?” he asked, bright blue eyes bearing into yours.

Your lips parted unbidden, eyebrows raising in surprise, or more like shock, as your eyes widened.

“You- you want my number?” you asked stupidly. You didn’t give him a chance to answer though before you continued, “Uhm, yeah,” you nodded, “sure.”

The delicate smile on your lips grew as you reached for your phone.

You exchanged numbers and said your goodbyes before you were finally headed back to your sister’s place.

You were smiling like a fool as you drove, a sense of giddy taking over you. This kind of stuff never happened to you. You were still in a bit of disbelief as you pulled into your sister’s driveway, calling her to help you unload but deciding against telling her about your little grocery store meet cute. At least until the party was underway and her stress levels came down.

—

Grumpy. 

That’s the word you would use to describe your current state.

This was not how tonight was supposed to go. You should be lounging on a couch watching scary movies with a bowl full of candy right now, not clopping down the street in your wedges - a last minute costume thrown together as your niece held your hand and pulled you along with her while your sisters and baby niece strolled behind.

Sidney had thrown a fit when she learned you wouldn’t be coming along for trick or treating and only calmed down when you finally relented and agreed. But of course, you couldn’t just go out in what you were already wearing, no, that would be too easy. You absolutely needed a costume. 

At your sisters’ and niece’s goading, you were forced to put something together. 

You were already in all black, so you snagged the leftover cat ear headband your sister had and made your already done eye look a little more exaggerated. You all left soon after, your niece’s jubilance as she skipped out of the house easing your annoyance at the change of plans. As you started down the driveway, you were cursing yourself for not having brought your sneakers, and your sisters for both having smaller feet than you.

You walked up to house after house with your niece, taking turns switching who was going up to the door every two or three houses. In between houses, you finally told your sisters about the guy you met at the store earlier, how attractive he was, how he helped you load your car, and how he asked for your number before you went your separate ways.

It was nice to be able to talk with them about it, it had been a long time since it had been just the three of you together - no obnoxious boyfriends or overly talkative husbands to interrupt your conversations. You had to say, you were starting to feel a bit more grateful for your niece’s insistence on you joining them.

As you talked to your little sister while she held her daughter, you both watched as your niece tugged on her mom’s hand, refusing to go up the pathway of the house you were now at. As you looked around, you realized everyone else seemed to be avoiding the house, too. You weren’t sure why, though. The porch light was on and there was a cute, though solitary, ghost decoration that would greet you as you walked up the path to the house. 

“What is up with that?” you asked aloud.

As your older sister walked back over, she answered your question. “She doesn’t wanna go, she says it’s haunted.”

You fixed your niece with a look, “What do you mean haunted? Who told you that?”

“Evan and Fifi. They said the metal man lives here and he kills anyone who tries to come in.”

“The metal man, huh? Well,” you said, making a point of looking all around the front of the house, “it looks to me like whoever lives here is ready to pass out candy to anyone brave enough to knock. The lights are on, and did you see the ghost up front? They’re probably just as excited about Halloween as you are.”

“No.” she responded flatly.

“No?” you scoffed. “Ohhh, okay,” you exaggerated, “I get it, you’re too scared to go. That’s all you had to say, Sid, no shame.”

“I’m not scared,” she argued, her face scrunched in annoyance at your insult.

“Really? If you’re not scared then why won’t you go knock on the door?”

She floundered for a second before she narrowed her gaze at you. You wanted to laugh at the low growl that radiated from her but held it together. 

“We’ll all go,” she finally decided, looking all three of you in the eyes to make sure you were all ready to accompany her.

—

It had been two hours since the trick or treaters had started their nights. 

Bucky could hear the laughter and screams of playful fright as family after family and group after group of friends passed by his house. 

The bowl of king size candy bars sat on his coffee table untouched as It played on his screen. 

Every now and again he’d get up and look out the kitchen window, hoping to see a dead street to make himself feel better about the lack of trick or treaters, but only found the streets full of people.

The more time that passed without a single knock or ringing of his bell, the worse he felt. 

He could lie and say he didn’t know why he was taking this so hard, he wasn’t one to complain about his solitude, but truthfully, he knew why.

He had heard the neighbor kids talking about him the other week, telling tales of horror about the metal man who lived next door. If seeing his arm was all it took to spur their tales and ignite their fear of him, God, he didn’t even want to know what would come if they found out even a little bit of his past. 

And if it wasn’t the kids starting their own urban legend at his expense, it was the adults who would gossip about him at their backyard barbecues. The mysterious man who lived alone and kept to himself was an easy target for lowly neighborhood gossip, and the few people who had pieced together who he was seemed to be tight lipped about it. Anytime they saw him in public, their eyes would bug and they would quickly avert their gaze, like they were scared what would happen if he knew they knew. It’s not like his identity was a secret, but he wasn’t planning on striking up a conversation with them to let them know that. Especially not when they looked at him like that. Like he was some kind of monster.

Even still, he didn’t want to be the social pariah on the block. He hated to think that anyone was scared or weary of him, though he knew most of them were.

He sighed heavily as he checked the time once again. 

So much for that ghost helping to dispel his bad reputation. He’d be requesting the money he spent on it from Sam later, it was his idea for him to get halloween decorations in the first place. He should have known it wouldn’t have helped.

As his phone unlocked with his FaceID, he was tempted to send a message to the woman he’d met earlier in the day. He wasn’t sure what it was about her, but he hadn’t felt so disarmed by someone in a very long time. And the fact that she was gorgeous, and didn’t seem the least bit frightened by him, was a nice feeling, too. 

But she was probably watching movies and relaxing by now, he didn’t want to be a disturbance. Tomorrow, though. He’d definitely be messaging her tomorrow.

Another sigh left him as he locked his phone again, tossing it on the coffee table before making his decision.

Bucky paused the movie before he stood, bowl in hand, prepared to take it to the kitchen and shut his porch light off on his way upstairs. It was only gonna get later and he had to accept that no one was going to trick or treat at his house this year.

But just as he was setting the bowl down on the table, he froze.

Was someone actually coming up the porch?

He swore he was just hearing things…but then came a knock.

—

“You can’t just stand there, Sid, you have to knock or ring the bell, pick one.”

“No.”

“Ugh,” you exaggerated with an eye roll, turning to look at your older sister, “you live with this everyday?”

“Everyday,” she replied.

“Sid, if you don’t knock, you don’t get candy,” you told her.

“If I don’t knock, I don’t get murdered.”

“Alright, fine. I’ll do it myself,” you shrugged, adjusting the cat ears on your head.

You raised your arm to knock on the door, but Sid stopped you, pulling it back down.

“I don’t want you to get murdered, either!”

“Sidney,” you laughed, kneeling to get on her level, “I promise you, no one is going to get murdered. This house isn’t haunted and a murderer doesn’t live here.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” your little sister chimed in, earning a glare from you before you couldn’t help your laugh, shaking your head before turning back to your niece.

“I just met Evan and Fifi at the party, and I know for a fact they were just trying to scare all of you guys. I doubt they’ve ever met whoever it is that lives here. Now, do you trust me?”

Her reluctant nod was your answer.

“Okay. Then I’m gonna knock on the door, and we’re gonna get some candy. Cool?”

“Cool.”

“Cool,” you nodded with a smile before standing back up.

Sid inched back to stand in front of her mom, pulling her arm to hide herself behind as you once again went to knock on the door, this time following through.

You knocked and heard footsteps from within, smiling as you waited for the homeowner to open the door.

Once it opened, though, you found yourself completely taken aback. 

Your breath caught in your throat as a newly familiar pair of brilliant blue eyes met yours.

Bucky stood at the open door, bowl of full size candy bars in hand. He looked just as surprised to see you there as you were him. 

He tilted his head at you, a lopsided grin spreading on his face.

“Trick or treat!” Sidney yelled, seeing the big bars and coming to stand in front of you.

Bucky looked down, smiling as he showed her the bowl, “Happy Halloween,” he said, allowing her to pick which one she wanted.

“I know how this looks, but I swear I’m not stalking you,” you promised.

“I don’t know, it seems like a lotta coincidences for just one day,” he smirked, cooly leaning against his door frame. “Nice costume,” he complimented.

“Ha, thanks,” you smiled, touching the cat ears once again. “Nice ghost,” you nodded toward the lonely decoration, “Really livens up the place,” you teased. 

“That was the intention,” he laughed, a little too glumly for your liking. “You guys are actually the first trick or treaters I’ve had all night, so I guess it didn’t really do its job.”

“Sorry, you guys know each other?” your sister asked.

“Yeah, uh,” you turned briefly, “this is Bucky,” you said.

“Bucky from the grocery store, Bucky?” your little sister asked.

You gave her a look you hoped Bucky didn’t see before answering, “Yes. That Bucky.”

Your sisters introduced themselves to him and as he switched the candy bowl from his right hand to his left, extending his palm to shake their hands, you noticed a glimmer coming from  his left side.

You moved over a bit to allow them room to shake hands and as you looked closer, you realized that, peculiarly enough, his left hand wasn’t made of flesh. 

You scoffed a laugh to yourself at his “metal man” moniker. That made some sense now… In fact, a few things were clicking into place. Bucky, you thought…Bucky Barnes? The Bucky Barnes. You wondered how you hadn’t noticed earlier, not that it mattered, but you were staring, like kind of a lot, at him when you met at the store, and even when he was helping load your groceries. You really must have been distracted by just how gorgeous his face is.

Now that you were really looking at him again, you noticed just how built he was. Strong arms, solid chest, nearly six foot tall if you had to guess. 

Your sister’s laugh brought you back to reality as you followed her gaze to Sid who was now taking a bunch of bars from Bucky’s bowl as he held it out for her again.

“I doubt anyone is coming my way again, so please, take what you want,” he offered to all of you.

“That’s really nice of you, thanks,” you smiled as your sisters each took a bar of their own. “We’ll uh, let you get back to your movie,” you said, remembering his plans for tonight.

“The movie, yeah. I think I might have to start it over, actually. I went on my phone for a minute and looked up to see a blood covered bathroom but I have no idea how they got there,” he huffed a laugh at himself.

“Oh, what are you watching?” your little sister asked.

“It,”

“It? No way, that’s so funny. That’s the movie you were gonna watch before we left tonight, isn’t it?” your older sister asked knowingly, a smirk no one but you and your younger sister would ever catch flashing for a microsecond on her lips as she looked at you pointedly.

“Yeah,” you swallowed thickly, “it is,” you said, trying not to let the awkwardness that was eating at you consume you entirely.

“You should stay and watch it,” your little sister suggested, to your complete and utter mortification. Your eyes shot over to her, and you swear, if looks could kill. 

“I’m not just going to invite myself-”

“Come on, like he minds,” she turned to look at Bucky then, her hands still on her stroller holding her baby, “you don’t mind, do you?”

You peek over at Bucky, unsure of how you would even react if you were in his position. He met your eye and his lips quirked in a soft smile. “Not at all. If you wanted to, that is,” he added, offering you an out.

You looked at him a moment before looking over to your smugly smiling sisters and your niece as she tore into one of her candy bars, standing safely between the two of them. You inhaled sharply before looking back to a waiting Bucky. 

You nodded.

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Sounds…fun.”

“Great, well we were heading back anyway. So, see you later?” you sister bid. 

“Or not,” your little sister added teasingly before she shot her gaze over to Bucky once more. “But we do have her location, just so you know,” she added seriously, a hint of a warning in her words.

“Ooo-kay,” you said, breaking the forthcoming tension, “I will text you guys when I’m on my way back,” you told them, urging them to get going.

“It was nice to meet you, Bucky. I trust my sister will get home safe,��� your sister said directly.

“I’ll make sure of it,” he responded gallantly while your face felt as if it was literally on fire.

What was this, it was like your parents were dropping you off for your first date in high school. But somehow worse.

She nodded, “And thank you for the candy. Sidney,” she called, getting her daughter’s attention, “what do we say?”

“Thank you! Happy Halloween!”

“You’re very welcome,” Bucky smiled. “Happy Halloween.”

—

It wasn’t long before you found yourself sitting on Bucky’s couch, a glass of water you had desperately needed sitting before you on the coffee table and Bucky sitting to the left of you, but keeping a respectable distance.

“I’m really sorry about my sisters, by the way. They can be a lot,” you huffed a laugh.

“Don’t be,” he brushed off, “It’s nice to see, honestly.”

You looked over at him, he seemed a bit forlorn before he came back to himself. 

“You know, my niece was almost too scared to come to your door. She said this house is haunted, that ‘the metal man’ lives here and kills anyone who tries to enter.”

“Ah, I see word travels fast when it comes to children.”

“Yeah, you’re kind of like their own urban legend.”

Bucky rolled his eyes playfully as you laughed, lifting a leg up to cross under your thigh as you turned to face him on the couch.

“What?” you asked, “Don’t you want to be an urban legend?”

“Not really,” he laughed with a shake of his head, turning to face you better as well. “Especially not when it leaves me with bowls full of king sized candy bars no one seems to want.”

There’s a pause before he continues,

“Honestly… I don’t like knowing people are scared of me. I mean I’ve known, for a long time, that they are, it’s just.. Different when you can see that fear on their faces, in person.”

You didn’t even realize you were moving as you scooted in closer to him while he spoke.

“I thought the city was bad, but ever since I moved out here, it’s all so much more intimate. The stares are a lot more pointed.” He laughed humorlessly at himself, “I heard a couple kids talking about my arm a few weeks ago and tried to tell myself I didn’t care, but I’ve been wearing nothing but long sleeves every time I go outside now. 

“I’m not ashamed of it,” he said quickly to clarify, “I just, I don’t want them to have to be scared of me.”

“They shouldn’t be scared of you just because you have a prosthetic arm,” you argued, knowing they surely knew nothing else of who he was, “and their parents should probably be leading by better examples.”

“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, “what can you do?” He swallowed the lump in his throat that was forming at your defense of him, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring all this up-”

“No, I’m sorry, that’s on me. I am incredibly skilled at killing conversations before they even begin.”

“I don’t know about that. You don’t know me well yet, so you don’t know how big of a deal this is, but, I like talking to you,” he smiled. 

You had to look away from his gaze, breathing a laugh as you did. 

The movie was playing on screen, but neither of you were paying any attention to it as you continued talking.

Each time Bucky laughed at your lame jokes, you swore you felt like you were flying. You talked about everything and nothing. You got to know each other better, asking questions about life and preferences and favorites and what-ifs. The conversation flowed so easily, you never even really had to think about what to say next. That definitely wasn’t usual for you, and you liked it. You liked him.

Somewhere along the way, the conversation turned flirty, and again, it was completely effortless. 

Your knees were pressing against one another as you sat across from each other, almost side by side on the couch.

You laughed in unison at a cheesy line Bucky tried on you before a jump scare on the screen had you quite literally jumping. Without thought, you leaned into Bucky, and he had no qualms about it as you hid your face in his shoulder.

He laughed lightly, his arm coming around you and gently rubbing your back before you forced yourself to pull away. His warmth was so nice and welcoming, but if you didn’t back up, you would’ve tried to nuzzle right into his side - you couldn’t risk the embarrassment.

As you turned back to sit next to him though, he kept his arm around you and tugged you in a bit closer. 

You briefly wondered if he could hear your heartbeat, because you definitely could. You thought it might beat out of your chest at any moment as his warm cologne invaded your senses.

“Sorry, I guess I just assumed you liked scary movies,” he laughed.

“Ya know what’s funny is I actually hate scary movies,” you told him, “the It movies are some of the very few that don’t scare me.”

“Oh, that was you not being scared?” he smirked with a raised brow.

“That was- it just, it caught me off guard,” you defended with a smile, absentmindedly leaning more into his hold.

You had never gotten so close to someone in such a short amount of time, emotionally or physically. 

It was foreign, but you enjoyed it. It may have been sudden, but it didn’t feel rushed. 

“You get scared easily?” he asked.

“I’m the biggest scaredy cat I know,” you admitted. “I’m not hard to get a jump out of, I get scared of literally everything,” you laughed at yourself.

You turned to look at him when he didn’t say anything and felt your breath catch in your throat for the second time that night. He was so close to you now, and his eyes were piercing as he took you in, lingering on your lips and sending a chill through you.

The energy between you seemed to shift from something light and playful to something more charged, deliberate.

Your eyes drifted to his lips despite yourself, too.

He leaned in just a touch closer to you and your lips were mere inches away as he spoke,

“You’re not scared of me,” he said, though you weren’t sure if it was a question or not. Still, you responded as if it were.

Leaning in, brushing your lips against his, you breathed, “No.”

His hand was on your head then, keeping you close to him as he pressed his lips against yours, it was fervent, yet delicate, as your lips moved against one another. 

You moved a hand to hold onto his left shoulder and he tugged your body to move you completely over his lap while he continued to lead the kiss.

His metal hand found its way to your plush waist as he held you, squeezing you lightly and inadvertently causing you to sink down lower into his lap while your upper body melted into him.

His hand slid from your waist to your ass, grabbing you through your leggings, kneading your ample flesh in his large palm.

You moaned into his mouth and that seemed to spur him on because in the blink of an eye you found yourself being flipped onto your back as he pinned you beneath his large body.

When he finally broke the kiss, you were both panting, your hands fisted in his sweatshirt as his wandered your curves. 

“Do you have a bed?” you breathed, pulling him back down to be closer to you, wanting desperately to have his lips on yours once more. He nodded.

“Glad you asked,” he returned, voice low and husky.

You yelped as Bucky lifted you in his arms, standing and carrying you with ease while you clung to him like your life depended on it. If he dropped you, you weren’t sure you’d be able to recover from the embarrassment. But as he began up the steps and his hold didn’t falter for a single second, you realized maybe there wasn’t anything to worry about.. He held you like you weighed nothing and honestly, it sent a new wave of arousal through you as he reached the door of his bedroom.

He tossed you down on his bed carefully, but stopped you before you could begin tugging your leggings down your thick thighs. 

You looked at him, confused and with a touch of worry you were about to be rejected.

“I’m sorry,” he began, “I should’ve said this before I brought you up here,”

That did nothing to ease your worry…

“I really like you. And I think there could be something real here between us, I don’t want to ruin that. So if you were only here for one night,-”

“I really like you, too,” you cut him off, eyes gleaming into his, “And I think you’re right, I don’t wanna ruin it either. I wasn’t planning for this to be a one night stand, but if you want to take things slower, I don’t have a problem with that.”

“No, I’m good with where we were heading, I just wanted to make it clear that I don’t want this to be just tonight.”

You nodded, a little breathless as you smiled up at him. 

“Same page, then.”

“Good,” he grinned before pushing you to lie back on his bed as he descended upon you. 

His lips were on your neck and as he sucked on your sweet spot, you couldn’t contain the soft moan that passed your lips. 

His hands found the waistband of your bottoms and he pulled them down as much as he could manage before you lifted your hips and wiggled a bit to assist him in getting them off of you. 

You pulled impatiently at the buckle of his jeans, earning a chuckle from him before he got to work taking them off. 

While he got rid of his jeans, you pulled your shirt up and over your head, catching on the cat ears you had forgotten you were wearing. You threw them all to the side, unclasping your bra as Bucky shrugged his sweatshirt off over his head in turn.

He was back on top of you in an instant, pulling your bra off of you and tossing it to land with the rest of your discarded clothes off the side of the bed.

His large hands immediately went to your breasts, admiring the soft, heavy feel of them in his hands while he palmed them, squeezing slightly as he felt you.

You mewled under his attention, eyes closed in delight as his touch only added fuel to the fire burning in your core. 

When he leaned down and took a pert nipple into his mouth, kissing and sucking on your tit, your hand found his hair as you gasped at the sensation, holding him to you, enjoying the feeling of his mouth on your breasts.

You could feel the wetness growing between your legs as he continued to have his fun, unconsciously rutting his thick cock against you when you’d moan for him.

As he traveled down your body, his hands following your curves and his lips kissing every inch of you that he could, he paid special attention to your tummy before he traveled even lower. 

You were a writhing mess as you felt his warm breath on your folds. When your hips bucked up into his face and you felt his lips brushing your cunt, you whined obscenely at the feeling. Bucky laughed tauntingly, holding your hips back down as he poked his tongue out past his plump lips, lightly licking your folds and your sensitive clit as you gripped his hair and urged him closer, wanting, needing more.

He finally took mercy on you after a long, torturous minute, spreading you open for him before he ate you out like a man starved. 

His tongue glided all over your slick cunt, dipping in and out of your tight entrance, before coming back up to flick your clit. 

He drew figure eights over the sensitive bud and you swore you were about to come undone from that alone, but when he sunk his thick digits into your dripping pussy, curling them just right, rubbing against that special spot perfectly, you were seeing stars as your thighs threatened to clamp around his head while you shook from your orgasm. Your walls clamped down on his fingers as you came and he moaned at the feeling as he worked you through the high, more than ready to finally get his cock inside you.

“Doll, you look so gorgeous like this,” he admired as he held himself above you, “naked and sweaty beneath me. Like a fucking goddess,” he praised, grabbing his erection and positioning himself at your entrance. 

“You sure you’re ready for me, sweetheart?” he asked, running his cockhead up and down your dripping slit. 

“Yes, Bucky, please,” you moaned pathetically, spreading your legs as wide as you could for him.

“Mm, I love the way you say my name, doll,” he groaned as he pushed just his tip inside your tight cunt, moving in and out of you as you whined for him.

“God, please, Bucky, please fuck me! I want it so bad,” you whimpered. “I wanna feel you fill me up, please.”

The growl that left his throat had your pussy fluttering, squeezing around nothing before he finally gave you what you wanted.  With one hard, deep stroke, he was fully seated inside you. Your eyes squeezed shut as you gasped sharply, your hands gripping onto him wherever you could as he began to set his pace. With every thrust of his hips into you, he was hitting deeper and deeper inside your cunt.

“Oh, fuck,” you cried.

“There you go, sweetheart. Take all ‘a my cock inside this tight pussy, taking me so fuckin’ well,” his hands were tight on your hips as he fucked into you. “This what you wanted, doll?” he panted, his pace never faltering as he fucked you harder, the slapping sound of skin on skin and his balls hitting your cunt with his every thrust filled the room, mingled with your moans and whimpers and his grunts and growls. “Wanted this big dick to stretch you out, huh? Wanted to feel me fill you up with my hot cum til I’m dripping outta you.”

One of his hands left your hip and instead went to grab at your breasts again, his large hand palming your tit as he squeezed and kneaded, flicking his thumb over your nipple and only adding to the pleasure threatening to send you over the edge.

“God, yes! Please, fucking yes, Bucky, please, please, please, please” you begged pathetically, reaching a hand down to find your clit, working your bud in circles as your walls tightened around his thick cock. 

Your eyes were about to roll into the back of your head as you moaned senselessly, Bucky’s hand leaving your chest and nudging your own away from your clit. He replaced your hand and circled your clit perfectly as he continued rolling his hips into yours, his pace growing more erratic and the words leaving his beautiful lips growing filthier the closer he got to his own end. 

With one perfectly angled thrust, you were crying as your body shook at the intensity of your orgasm. Wave after wave of nerve tingling pleasure lighting you up as you rode out the high. Your toes curled, legs wrapped around him as much as they could be while he grabbed at your body, falling down closer to you as he moaned, holding your body tighter as he pumped his hips, “Fuck,” he growled as he pushed himself as deep inside of you as he could, his eyes squeezing shut, holding himself there as he came, his body shaking some as he attempted to thrust once more. 

You moaned at the feeling of him painting your walls, your hands in his hair as he buried his face in your neck, holding him to you. He stayed inside of you for a long minute as you both panted, trying to catch your breath, while he ensured he got all of his load out before he finally pushed himself up off of you, gently sliding out of you.

He flipped over next to you, laying on his back before he pulled you into him. Your hand rested on his chest as you laid in his left arm.

“Holy fuck,” you breathed, your fingers playing in his chest hair mindlessly as you worked to catch your breath.

His hand was running up and down your side soothingly as he moved to try and meet your eye.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice full of concern.

“Yeah,” you assured him. “I’m better than okay, honestly. That was…amazing.”

“Good, I’m glad,” he smiled, “but still, I’m sorry if I got carried away. I tend to run my mouth when I’m, uh,” he fumbled with his words, “ya know, in the moment.” 

He looked so bashful, you couldn’t help but laugh lightly at his expression.

“You just said all of what you just said, but you had trouble with that?” you tittered, rubbing his chest before turning further into him, laying on your side as he stayed on his back, propping his right hand under his head as he relaxed into the position. “But really, Bucky, you don’t have to apologize. I don’t know if you could tell, but…I really liked it,” you simpered sensually.

Bucky smiled at you as you leaned up to meet his lips in a soft kiss. 

“It’s probably way late now, right?” you asked as you pulled away from him. “I should probably head back.”

Bucky sat up after you, “Do you have to?” he asked softly.

You looked back at him, his blue eyes set on you. You nipped at your lower lip before shaking your head lightly. A new, sweeter excitement washing over you.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but you could stay for the night,” he offered. “I was hoping I could take you for breakfast in the morning?”

Your heart skipped a beat at the hopeful look in Bucky’s eyes as he waited for your response. That giddiness you felt earlier came over you once again as you held his gaze.

“Yeah,” you smiled. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

[trophywifetroybarnes]

do you have any other community ships besides trobed?

I definitely do! I'll go into it under the cut!

trobed is, for me, THE ship. They’re my favorite, and that one ship that I keep coming back to. they’re also one of the few ships out there where, I truly cannot imagine them with anyone else. like sure, I think there have been cases in between for both of them (Britta, Abed’s side adventures, Rachel, etc,) but none of those are relationships that I think can last, because Troy and Abed are so endgame—it’s like, they’re the one ship I look at and go, oh, okay, soulmates, and it’s because they actively worked for it.

Troy put effort into being Abed’s friend, and Abed has so much patience with Troy—they take the time to actually work. It looks so fun and seamless on screen, they’re so whimsical, it almost looks like it’s so easy and that they clicked right away, but no, they had to work for it. (Somewhere Out There being an example, with Troy realizing he has to help Abed too. The whole STD fair bit where Abed catches on to Troy being in the midst of a toxic masculinity induced breakdown and letting him win, etc.) And they have to keep working on it, (the celebrity impersonators, the pillow and blanket war, the lava and Abed learning to let Troy go and Troy learning how to leave, etc.)

they work because they took the time to do so. And because of that, and what they bring out in each other (Troy pulling Abed from viewer to active cast member, Abed pulling Troy from the repressed jock persona) as well as the actual insanity of the depths of their feelings for each other (just look at the way they look at each other. listen to the words that come out of their mouths. “Other half. I love you. I know. You were out there somewhere and you weren’t looking for me? By the way when I cloned you, I had to patch some missing parts of your DNA with genes from a homing pigeon. You may notice some side effects, like the compulsion to come back.” Just think for a second about how abed views Troy as a remarkable in a world of unremarkables.)

not to mention the way they complement each other. abed likes being in control (he’s a self-described control freak) and Troy likes being told what to do (‘I miss being told what to think’) and in particular seems very happy to be told what to do by abed.

They drive me crazy. and so, when it comes to Troy and Abed respectively, I don’t have any ships for them that isn’t just Trobed. And I mean, they’re also both very jealous or possessive when it comes to the other so, yeah, once they’re together I feel like it’d stay like that. Troy just needs to come back from sea already.

I’m so sorry btw. That you asked me about whether or not I have any ships besides trobed and I said yeah I sure do! And then went on to talk about trobed 😭

I was just trying to explain first that I do have other community ships but not in regards to Troy and Abed. Now onto the other ships before I get sidetracked again;

Jeff/Britta— they are my second fave ship like. I love them to an unhealthy degree, and I love how they also build off each other. (The “you need to bang his mom” scene always gets me) I read a fic once, by @troybarnesbabygirlconfirmed where Jeff was thinking about how he and Abed are so similar, and if anything "Abed was simply Jeff more devoutly committed to the people he loves, and that Troy is Abed’s Britta." I’ve been losing my mind over that ever since because yeah, that’s it exactly. You know how I said Trobed are soulmates not just bc of the way they click but because they work to understand each other? Jeff and Britta have that too, I think, in that Jeff does value what Britta says, and Britta cares so much. Jeff cares so much. The thanksgiving episode will forever gut me. The only reason I haven’t put JeffBritta on the Trobed-level is because whereas I cannot separate Troy and Abed, I do have another Jeff ship and another Britta ship.

Jeff/Shirley- okay. okay hear me out. how come nearly everyone had some sort of entanglement within the study group and not Shirley? I don’t think it’s just cause of Andre. I like Jeff/Shirley. They’re the same age, and they complement each other well, with Jeff trying to run from love while simultaneously craving it, and Shirley trying to hold on to love and toughing it out even when sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it at all. Besides, the whole foosball episode, where they found out they knew each other when they were kids? I love that episode, because the way they were hanging out and having fun was just so precious. And, in the episode with Blade, it’s also revealed that whenever Jeff is up to some sort of scheme/plan/type thing that he doesn’t want the others to know about, he goes with Shirley. He loves gossiping with Shirley. Their rapport is just so good, I loved seeing it. And I can’t help but remember that one post about an AU where in s1, after Shirley’s divorce, and when Jeff is living in his car, Shirley puts up a room in her home for rent, and Jeff ends up moving in. The POTENTIAL. Him meeting and interacting with her kids. we could have had it all. I know s1 Jeff may not have been ready for that. But we could have had it all!!!

Rich Stephenson/Ben Chang- entering crack ship territory but I just think it would be so funny.

Annie/A Girlfriend- She's a lesbian guys. At least, that's my take. I cannot view her as a character who isn't experiencing comphet. Okay. Sexuality is fluid, and I've never been into labels myself because sometimes, the overlap and intersection of attraction--in whichever form--gets tricky for me, personally. Like okay, I think Abed, Jeff, and Britta are bi. I think Annie is a lesbian, and that Shirley is straight. But sometimes I look at Troy, who I think is gay, and think yeah, he could be a high 5, almost 6, on the Kinsey scale. Which is to say--I think he's gay! But I think there could be a small possibility of a moment or two where he could get dominated by a strong capable woman. Do I think the chance is high? No. Its low but not totally zero. But then, this is Troy we're talking about. Troy who once made it clear to Annie that he liked butt stuff while holding his arms out and closing his eyes, so we can only assume from that moment that he was expecting her to top. That and Troy is someone who can be weird about his gender as we--oh my god, i went on another tangent AGAIN, I am so sorry. basically--GIVE ANNIE A GIRLFRIEND. i see the potential for annie kim/annie edison, i think it would be hilarious, but also, I was rewatching CW's Nancy Drew with one of my friends and. I was so enamored with the character of Bess to the point where I think, FBI agent Annie should get with a down on her luck former-conwoman from London. (Someday I'll finish my transfemme Troy Barnes fic and Annie will get that plotline, SOMEDAY)

Dean/Dean- toxic yaoi, its messy, i want more

Dean/Happiness- let the dean be a happy and free and

Frankie/Britta- I haven't actually watched past a few episodes post-geothermal escapism, and haven't reached that point in my rewatch, but I've read a few fics, heard out a few friends and I see it.

Todd/His Wife-I just hope that when the study group broke todd they didnt break his family while they were at it

[ghostfacd]

ANYWAY, DON’T BE A STRANGER. — LUKE HUGHES

— “WILL YOU COME VISIT ME EVERY YEAR?” “OF COURSE I’LL VISIT YOU EVERY YEAR!”

pairing; slytherin!luke x hufflepuff!fem!reader

summary; graduation had finally came for you and luke, which meant closing doors and new beginnings. a summer on his lake house should’ve been fun, right?

genre; fluff, angst, hogwarts!au, one mention of sex but no actual smut, lots of crying, mentions of cheating and insecurities, mentions of past luke x kielle, to sum it all up, ynluke deserves better 🤲

author’s note; im gonna apologize in advance bc this one is gonna HURT.

✸ SLYTHERIN!LUKE MASTERLIST

The day of Grad had finally came. You knew everybody in your year was excited, having spent 7 years at Hogwarts and were ready to move on.

“You look so pretty!” Kielle says as she enters your room, her voice buzzing with joy. She had her graduation gown and cap on, her makeup looked amazing.

“Have you seen yourself Ms. Kiels?”

“Oh stop it,”

You had put your phone on Do Not Disturb, not wanting anything or anyone to interrupt your getting ready process. You had to look perfect, this was the last time you were going to be at Hogwarts.

“Babe, I’ve been calling you.” Mark enters your room along with Luke, who looks absolutely entranced by you.

“Sorry Marky, you know I don’t like distractions when I’m getting ready.”

Over the past year, you and Luke’s relationship had grown greatly, and so has Mark’s and Kielle’s. You four were no longer immature teenagers who couldn’t handle criticism, but now newly blossomed adults.

“Are you guys ready?” Luke comes up from behind you, pulling you into a small back hug.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

When Professor McGonagall all called you up to receive your diploma, you could’ve swore you were gonna breakdown right then and there.

You couldn’t believe you were actually graduating from the one place you had called home to for 7 years.

When you turn around to hug Kielle, you could see tears filling her eyes, something that quickly brought tears to your eyes as well.

Man, you hated this part of graduating. The goodbyes, the crying, and the reminiscing.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Mark says as he takes Kielle away from your arms. She sobs into his shoulders, and Luke is quick to pull you into his arms.

“You okay lovie?” He asks, eyes searching yours for any sign of crying.

“I’m okay Lukey,” you turn around to give him a tight hug.

“Guys! Don’t be so sad!” Luke says when you pull away, arms wrapping themselves around his two best friends, “we four are spending the entire summer together, so quit the crying, alright? You’re gonna make me cry,”

Kielle wipes her tears, giggling at Luke’s words. Him, crying? Never in a million years.

The only time Luke has ever cried was when you two were broken up and he had regretted ever making that decision.

You all waved a final goodbye to your classmates, knowing in the future, you might run into them in the grocery stores with their own families and greet them and laugh back on the days spent at Hogwarts.

Luke even gave a small hug to Teddy Wellings, a boy who had been his partner in Potions prior and whom Luke had scared the complete shit out of.

“Good luck out there Wellings,” Luke says as he gives the boy a small grin.

“Wow, I never thought you would smile at me,” Teddy jokes, “but thank you Luke. My favorite Potions partner.”

“I was your only partner,”

“It’s the thought that counts!”

You silently make your way over to Evermore, one of the first girls you had ever befriended at Hogwarts.

“Hey Morie,” you say, slinging your arms around her shoulders.

She quickly turns around, giving you the brightest smile ever. “YNNN!”

“The one and only,”

She pulls you into a tight hug, chin on your shoulders as she rubs your back in a comforting motion.

“Thank you Morie.”

“For what?”

“For dragging me to the Quidditch match that one day. If it weren’t for you, I would’ve never had the courage to approach Luke, and we probably would’ve never dated.”

Evermore laughs, wiping away a few tears that had came down her cheeks. “Well I’m glad that Luke has such a wonderful and caring girlfriend like you, and I’m grateful that we became friends, YN. You’re always welcome into my life anytime, okay?”

Her words make you let out a sob, nodding as you two hug each other even more tightly.

“Alright, are we ready to go?” Kielle appears from behind you, giving you and Evermore a small smile.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” you give one more hug to Evermore, intertwining your hands with hers one last time before you leave. “I’ll miss you Morie.”

“I’m always just one call away Y/nie,”

- -

You all decided to spend the summer at Luke’s lake house. His brothers weren’t home the entire summer—Jack being with his girlfriend while Quinn was overseas. It was a perfect getaway.

“Hi darling,” Luke takes a seat next to you on the dock, admiring how pretty you looked with your sunkissed skin.

“Lukey,” you pull him into a small hug, one that he doesn’t pull away from until minutes after. He loved being with you in the sun, it was warm and made him feel a million times better just being by your side.

“Cannonball!” The loud voice of Mark runs throughout the entire house. You and Luke quickly part away to make space for the running boy, who, annoyingly so, cannonballs in the water, splashing you and Luke with a bunch of water.

“Mark I’m so gonna kill you!” Luke screams jokingly through soaked eyes.

“Uh huh, come join me in the water Lukey boy, it’s cold!”

You see your boyfriend roll your eyes, but extends his hand towards you so both of you can take a dip in the lake.

“Where’s Kiels?” You ask, wondering where the blonde girl was.

“She’s making BBQ for us right now! Said she didn’t want to get her lash extensions wet, whatever that means.”

Luke and Mark start splashing water on each other, making you laugh silently. Suddenly, Luke gets out of the water, shaking his body of the remaining droplets.

“I’ll be right back,” he says to you and Mark. “Mark, don’t drown my girl.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it Hughes!”

It’s about twenty minutes later when you realize that your boyfriend isn’t back yet. Confused, you dry yourself with a towel before making your way to the backyard, where Kielle was grilling the marinated meats.

“I don’t know Kielle,” you hear Luke say in a hushed tone.

“Lu, you’re gonna have to tell her sooner or later,” Kielle sighs, turning around to place a hand on Luke’s shoulder. “The more you drag it on, the harder it’ll be.”

Your eyebrows furrow. What were they talking about? Was Luke cheating on you?

It couldn’t be. Kielle loved Mark too much to do that—and you know Luke would never do that to you. But the words that came out both of their mouths said something different.

It didn’t help that Luke and Kielle had kissed once at a party during your sixth year at Hogwarts.

You walk quietly back to the dock, not wanting Luke and Kielle to have seen you. Your head was filled with questions that made it difficult for you to think properly.

“Hey, you okay?” Mark leans his chin against the dock, looking up at you. “Did you find Luke?”

“Yep,” you mumble underneath your breath.

Mark raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t further question. He pulls himself out of the lake, “cmon YN, let’s get to eating!”

The lunch was pretty awkward for you, since everybody else was talking while you were sitting in silence. Luke, being the observant boyfriend he is, notices your discomfort and intertwines his hands with yours.

You should feel comforted—you should feel better now that you were holding his hand, but were you the only one that had the privilege of doing so? Or was Kielle another person that also had those rights?

It wasn’t until the sun set and the sky was dark that you and Luke were able to get some alone time at the lake. Mark and Kielle had practically kicked you both out of Luke’s own house, but they said it would only be for an hour.

“They’re totally banging,” Luke says, a grin plastered over his face. If you weren’t so insecure, you would’ve laughed along, but instead you chose to stay silent.

Luke’s smile quickly disappears when he sees this, and he pulls you into a side hug, your bodies now touching. “What’s wrong lovie?”

“Are you cheating on me?”

Those five words make Luke choke, eyes widened and face flushed. “What?!”

“Luke Warren Hughes, are you cheating on me?”

“Of course not!” Luke stands up, flabbergasted at such an accusing question from you, “why—why would you even think that YN?”

“Because I heard you and Kielle talking about how you had to tell me something! I don’t know Luke—you guys are pretty close.”

“Yeah that’s because she’s like my best friend since first year,” Luke brings his hand to his hair, ruffling it in distress. “No YN, I’m not cheating on you.”

“Then what was it that you were gonna tell me that was so hard to say?”

Luke sighs, eyes looking directly into yours. “YN, I’m moving to Michigan.”

You could’ve swore your eyes popped out of your sockets in this very moment.

“Michigan? Why?”

“Well, when we were in our fall semester of our last year, I decided to apply to some muggle universities. I looked at UMich, and I really liked it YN. I want to do something with my life outside of Quidditch. They have this hockey program that is just amazing. So I applied and I got my congratulatory letter back in January. I’m sorry.”

It feels like your brain completely halts, forgetting how to speak or think.

“Lovie, please say something.”

“I don’t know what to say Lu,” your legs almsot give out onto the dock if it weren’t for Luke catching you and gently sitting you down. Even at times like this, Luke always knew how to take care of you. “I’m proud of you—I am. I just always thought we would go to uni in England, you know? Michigan is so far.”

“I know lovie,” Luke places a few strands of your hair that had gotten in the way behind your ear, “but Umich is a great place. I think I’d really fit in.”

Of course you couldn’t ask Luke to stay in London with you. That would be selfish. Your boyfriend seemed so passionate about going to Michigan that if you had cried at this very moment, you would feel incredible guilt.

“That’s great Lu, that’s great.”

Luke sighs as he watches you fall apart in his arms. Instead of talking more, he decides to rub your back comfortingly, placing tiny kisses on your tanned shoulders.

“We can do long distance can’t we Lu?”

Luke places his hand under your chin, making you look up at him. The sad look on his face already telling you what you didn’t want to hear.

“Lovie. I thought about this for a while, ever since I got my acceptance letter. I love you YN, don’t you ever doubt that, but I think it would be unfair for the both of us to do long distance when our time zones are so different and we have so much going on in our lives,”

You shake your head quickly, your tears making your vision too blurry to even look at Luke clearly. “No Lu, I’m willing to do whatever—”

“But I’m not,” Luke holds the both of your hands in his, eyes glossy and red. “Lovie, I can’t keep the promise that I will have time for you when I go to Umich. I’ll be so busy with hockey and studies and with our time zones, we wouldn’t even be able to call properly. I just can’t have anyone holding me back, and I most certainly don’t want to hold you back either. There’s just no way that I’ll end up being with you.”

“Is this what this is all about?” You scoff, wiping away your tears furiously. “You think I’m going to hold you back Luke?”

“It just wouldn’t work—”

“No Luke, it’s fine.” You pull away from his arms, now standing up. “You’re right. You’re completely right. This long distance thing will just fuck us up in the future, so we might as well end it now right?”

Luke gulps, not expecting you to be so upset with him. This was the last thing he wanted.

“YN,” he practically begs. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“I won’t Luke,” you sigh, “I guess we’re over then. Thank you for everything.”

You walk away that night with your heart broken and tears streaming out of your eyes. This night was the final day before summer was over, and while your original plans were to spend the entire night with Luke by your side, you ended up sleeping in the guest room of his house.

Mark and Kielle were painfully aware of the tension in the room the next day. Both not wanting to add fuel to the fire, Mark decides to take Luke out swimming to calm his nerves while Kielle stayed with you and made fruits for the both of you.

“I take it that he told you he’s going to Umich.” She says, handing you a bowl of cut watermelon.

“Yeah, yesterday night.” You take a bite, too upset to properly enjoy the sweetness of the fruit. “I feel bad, you know? I’m proud of him for getting in—it’s just, I thought we would spend our lives in London together. I never thought he’d go off to the States and we’d break up.”

“I know honey,” Kielle pulls you into her arms, letting your tears soak onto her top. “If it makes you feel better, Umich didn’t only take Luke, but they also took Mark.”

“No way,” you say, “Mark got in too?”

“Yup, our boys are gonna be playing hockey together.”

You wince at her mention of “our boys”, knowing that Luke was no longer yours.

“Oh I’m sorry YN, I mean Luke and Mark are gonna be playing together.”

“It’s fine Kiels,” you reassure her. The bowl of fruits seemed to be more interesting to you than anything else in the world right now. You just wanted to go home and cry it all out.

“I’ll still be in London,” Kielle speaks up after a while. “You’ve still got me,”

You give her a small smile, nodding slowly.

Curse you Michigan, for taking my boyfriend.

- -

The day for Mark’s and Luke’s departure had come quicker than ever, the two boys now standing outside the gate to board for Michigan.

Even though you and Luke were now exes, you couldn’t miss the chance to say your final goodbye to him. If you had stayed home, you knew you would’ve regretted it for the rest of your life.

“Flight 380 now boarding,” the microphone says. “Flight 380.”

It was Luke’s flight. You had memorized the number when Kielle first mentioned it after your breakup with him.

“Hey,” you say as you approach Luke, who’s currently rechecking all his luggage.

“Hey.”

The silence between the two of you is awkward, and filled with so much longing. But neither of you are able to speak up, too afraid to do so.

“I’ll miss you, you know?”

Luke cracks a smile at that, his eyes sad. “I’ll miss you too lovie.”

You swore you almost cried when he had used the pet name that he’s been calling you since the beginning of your relationship.

“Will you come visit me every year?”

“Of course I’ll come visit you every year,”

You couldn’t help but pull the taller boy into a tight hug, not wanting to ever let go. You let your arms wrap themselves tightly around his waist as you bury your head into his chest.

“Don’t be a stranger, alright?” You say, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“How could I ever be?” He sniffles, laughing slightly.

“Alright Luke, we have to head on now,” Mark says, slightly pulling the boy back.

Luke gives you one final smile before leaving, but your eyes never leave him. Not until the gates are fully closed, and the loss of Luke’s presence starts to hit you.

“It’s okay,” Kielle comforts you as the both of you make your way back to her car. “I’ve got you.”

[kiwiaok]

aftg is eating up my brain so badly, I have a constant stream of ideas and I’m shit at actually writing them but I need to get them out of my system bc it’s suffocating, so:

• an au where king and sir turn out to be shapeshifters so andreil magically acquire two spoiled kids

• andreil saying to each other ‘IU’ instead of ‘I hate you’ or ‘I love you’ or anything else. they use it in every kind of situation bc it’s the testament of how much they feel about each other and that’s more important to them than anything else. they’re fighting? IU (I hate you, I’m scared for you, I’m scared of how much power you have over me, I still want you to stay) they’re having sex? IU (I trust you, I love you, I’m going to take care of you, I’ll make you feel good) they’re breaking down? IU (I’ve got you, I’m here, I’m going to stay, I’m going to help best I can)

• a fic where neil dies in baltimore and we see the aftermath told from his perspective as a ghost: introspection, character study, cannibalism, polaroids, inspired by strangers by ethel cain:

• neil taking great pleasure in buying andrew expensive things and seeing him use them, not out of possessiveness but bc he truly just wants andrew to be happy and taken care of. and andrew learning to accept those gifts bc neil never wants anything in return, not even gratitude

• neil getting drugged at eden’s by some stranger and proceeding to glue himself to andrew’s side. the next day andrew is frustrated by that show of trust and he asks how neil could know that it wasn’t him doing the drugging. to which neil replies that he didn’t know that, but he knew that andrew wouldn’t drug him or let anyone touch him without a good reason. so it was okay, he just needed to trust andrew’s judgement and stick by him. and then andrew realising just how much faith neil has in him and having a breakdown about it

• after neil’s bad days, andrew spoons neil and keeps his hand wrapped around neil’s throat while they’re sleeping. it makes neil feel safe and grounded and makes andrew drunk on trust and control (bonus scene: foxes witnessing this one day and completely failing at understanding their dynamic)

• neil getting into a habit of spitting after his time at the nest bc riko used to spit into his mouth and make him swallow it as a power play. whenever neil remembers it the thought of any spit in his mouth, even his own, makes him sick. so he spits

• whenever aaron is on the edge of relapsing instead of telling anyone he just trails after andrew 24/7 bc he knows his brother won’t let him destroy his life

• tlou au where andrew is traveling the world in search of his twin brother and he’s hired to transport neil somewhere. meanwhile, they fall in love with each other and they find out andrew was supposed to deliver neil into his father’s hands (andrew promised neil safety and he refuses to break his promise so this becomes the first job andrew ever failed)

• andreil breaking up and neil desperately trying to prove to himself that he can move on so he takes the page from andrew’s books and starts sleeping around, but he only succeeds in hurting himself and feeling miserable (they get back in the end bc I need them to be happy)

• OH MY GOD HORNY KANDREIL CLASSICAL MUSIC AU!! kevin (and neil?) playing violin and drew being freakishly good at playing every instrument he ever touches but especially the piano. kev giving a performance and andreil sitting in the first row, neil getting a hard on bc kevin looks so good in his suit, with slightly greying hair combed back and passion burning in his eyes. andrew discretely edging him on, palming neil’s dick through the fancy suit’s material and keeping eye contact with kevin the whole time

AND SO MUCH MORE AAAAAA. this is insufferable, I’m writing fics in my head to fall asleep and then I’m waking up literally quoting aftg (genuinely happened last week, I felt like a lunatic) and then I’m going to uni and I spend every lecture thinking about how I can use my degree to better write about those stupid murderous college athletes. what kind of crack did you put in this series, nora?????

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

firestorm idea’s

feversick best idea ever (I feel anemic)

okay you know how firestorm usually is only Ronnie and stein?

what if mikhial (Russian guy from the firestorm 80s cannon) was also there?

And what if mikhial was also a linguist. I think it’d be interesting

also they are all kinda fused together they can change their form but that’s about it, when they split up they can’t be very far from each other or else they start dying.

also I’m aging up Ronnie to be 20, bc like then it’s not weird.

basically in this new cannon I’m proposing mikhial got kidnapped by anti-nuclear terrorists to translate, Ronnie was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and stein was manning the nuclear plant.

They get fused together as firestorm and promptly freak the fuck out because neither one of them is them anymore just this one guy and they are so confused.

Ronnie figures out transmutation by accident bc he can just.. see molecules now, stein is like “WHAT WAIT WAIT CHANGE THOSE AROUND” makes the fire into water, everyone is okay!

yay, but now these 3 guys are one guy and are so confused.

they fly up in the sky but yk they freak out.

firestorm mostly looks like Ronnie bc he’s the strongest of them all being Ex-football star, that’s why he was at the nuclear power plant he kinda just was going around since he was going to apply for a management position.

anyway they are in the sky super confused since they can all kinda see their hands and body but no one is exactly controlling it, it’s kinda a group effort and all that.

Ronnie is the first to speak out loud, and he just starts vigorously swearing. He basically just died and now he’s this fire guy???

mikhial also joins in and cries and swears as well and stein just starts sobbing.

firestorm is kinda just having a full on meltdown and mental breakdown, everyone inside is going through the 5 stages of grief since they LITERALLY DIED

and eventually they calm down enough to reassure themselves they aren’t dead and are alive and all that.

then they start screaming over being completely naked and having fire hair and also a weird ass core thing in the middle of themselves.

they get over that and just keep slightly sobbing.

stein is like “guys I know how to make clothes for us!” They make clothes that are radiation proof.

Ronnie brings up that his dad probably thinks he’s dead and they all panic

and Ronnie takes over firestorm for a bit, and heads home. He also thinks this is a bad idea and all that and kinda wishes they were separate. Then all of a sudden in a blink of red and orange light all three are separated again.

they instantly became nauseous and feel like shit but they are ALIVE AND SEPARATE PEOPLE YA-HOO!

Ronnie’s dad opens the door to 2 forty something’s and his son, he hugs his son and questions the 2 completely random strangers.

Ronnie steps in and says “these are the guys who saved my life and also offered me a job” wink wink nudge nudge.

they collaborate the story and Ronnie’s dad invites them in, they have a wonderful time and stein and mikhial go to leave but suddenly feel like their entire beings are being torn asunder at the seems and stop their way out and ask Ronnie to come with. Ronnie feels the same feelings and literally feels like he would DIE if they left without him follows him.

Ronnie’s dad reluctantly lets them go, since Ronnie lives alone and whatever these guys seem like good people and fast friends.

Ronnie, stein, and mikhial look at each other, and start talking after they are out of earshot.

“What was that. WHAT WAS THAT” “RONALD I DONT KNOW”

and mikhial is just having a panic attack, they all start hugging each other bc it feels nice and they accidentally form firestorm again.

they feel INSTANTLY BETTER, well rested and happy.

and just split apart again, they test what happens when they go apart and they start feeling incredibly weak and sickly again.

they do a few more tests and realize “oh fuck we can’t actually stay apart or we start dying.” They all start trying to think how the fuck are they supposed to work or do anything like this.

“So I think we should get a joint account”

“RONNIE!”

“No no, I think Ronald is right I think we should probably start living in the same house and going to the same workplace”

“I HAVE THINGS TO DO!”

“We all do but I don’t think we can live like we used to anymore, you know how it feels when we go apart!”

“Why are we holding hands, it makes me look like your son lol”

“Oh I didn’t even notice, your right why are we”

they try to not hold hands but it just feels better when they do

“Well okay now we look like weirdo’s”

“Mikhial! Don’t say that”

anyway they all end up crashing at Ronnie’s house since it was closest and also they had ZERO energy to deal with catching the subway to stein’s.

Ronnie’s place is very humble, it has a small kitchen, a couch, a tv, and one bedroom with a king sized bed.

they all look at each other and are like “no we are NOT sleeping in the same bed I will cry.”

Ronnie takes the bed, mikhial takes the couch and stein takes the floor in Ronnie’s bedroom.

mikhial actually hates being that far away and starts to feel sick again and just throws his hands in the air and sleeps on the floor in Ronnie’s room aswell.

the next morning - 2pm

they all wake up at the exact same time which was weird?

Ronnie checks the little digital clock he has on the bedside table and says to them all “hey so it’s 2:34pm do you guys have like work?”

mikhial looks at Ronnie and starts ranting in Russian and some other language Ronnie and stein can’t make out.

he grabs them all and they rush out the door still in their dirty clothes from yesterday as well as their shoes since yesterday was such a fucking disaster!

he fills them in that he had a important client coming in today, but was rudely interrupted yesterday when the terrorists kidnapped him.

Ronnie asks what in the world he does for work and he says “oh I’m actually a architect, but my firm would fire me if they caught me what’s it you kids say ‘slacking’ anyway we have to be there by 3pm or I’m getting fired”

stein asks “but aren’t you a linguist?” Mikhial laughs and says “yes yes, but I work at the firm because being a linguist does not pay me well, and I am out of linguistic work” he chuckles.

they all ask Ronnie if he has a car, he says yes but it’s really small a three seater. They all sigh in relief.

Ronnie grabs the keys and while holding stein’s hand rushes to the car.

he turns the keys and they are on their way, mikhial puts the directions in the gps and they all follow them.

mikhail tries to call his boss, but his phone is super broken.

Stein gives him his, and calls ahead.

it doesn’t go through and they all just hope they get there in time.

thankfully they are only 2 minutes late, mikhail rushes them all in.

the security guard is very concerned and confused, mikhail just says these are his friends and it’s okay they will play nice!

the firm is a very pretty building, there’s a glass staircase in the middle of the room with a elevator in the middle of it.

the whole place was made of glazed glass.

mikhail appears in his own office where his client is sitting, mikhial mumbles out a bunch of apologies and starts showing the client the new drafts.

”who.. are these people” the client says

stein and Ronnie are holding hands while mikhail is looking at the client “friends” he says.

the client is very confused but takes it, they talk for a couple hours.

Ronnie shows stein some memes, they catch up on the news, and play Tetris while they wait.

Eventually the meeting is done, and they all look at each other and sigh. “So, how are we going to make this work?” Mikhail says.

stein is like “oh yeah so everyone thinks I’m dead and you actually, they are also going on about this guy with fire hair?”

Ronnie facepalms “prof, we are the fire hair guy” “what” “yeah”

anyway stein ends up selling his apartment, and making a joint account with Ronnie and mikhail since he’s technically dead. And he updates his Will so they can kinda fudge it and all that.

they all decide that Ronnie’s place is probably not going to cut it, and mikhail has a place and seeing as he’s the only one with a job they all kinda agree on that.

Everyone is SO confused by Ronnie and stein, like is Ronnie stein’s kid with abandonment issues or something? Why are stein and mikhail always holding hands and are inseparable?

Like they moved in together it’s weird, stein makes the claims he needs to revive his identity at some stage. And tries to do remote work 👨‍💻 fails a couple times and then realizes he can just be a nuclear physicist at home Facepalm and doesn’t need to do weird odd remote jobs.

Ronnie has been learning about nuclear physics because he cannot go anywhere without the other guys.

and starts online school, they also form firestorm in between everything. Accidentally beat up green lantern, set a couple places on fire by accident, and get inducted to the justice league somehow.

and manage to have a semi normal life, until one day on a justice league mission.

they get split apart and promptly freak the fuck out, stein gets kidnapped and they all instantly start dying.

Batman, and Superman literally gape at the scene and cannot believe their eyes.

Ronnie and mikhail try to fork firestorm but they make a weird half firestorm and start going to grab stein.

Still in shock Superman goes after the villain who has stein.

stein almost dies they grab him and firestorm is complete again and they sigh in shear relief.

the justice league is super confused by the development but the boys finally just let down their guard to the rest of the league.

they kinda can’t believe that firestorm is actually three guys.

they ask for a salary bc they cannot afford to miss their work they live literally paycheck to paycheck.

they are like “nah” they insist on a salary. They get it the second time.

stein and mikhail learn about Ronnie’s dad being beyond abusive and horrible and kinda step in as Ronnie’s dad’s bc they already live together why the fuck not?

anyway a lot of crazy shit keeps happening, duplex tries to kill them way too many times. They become best buddies with plastic man booster gold and blue beetle (jamie)

Ronnie gets a job as a journalist, stein is able to get back to his work, and Mikhail gets to work as a linguist with the justice league.

They also die a few times, and accidentally fuse with a few other people, go on a legion arc, almost die again and the cycle continues

prev | current | next

[jadetheblueartist]

hey :) how did you know and/or find out you were autistic?

Thanks for the question, anon!

Now, some of this stuff may not be relevant, but I’ll just take you through it anyway (in case we are the exact same person or something hahaha).

The very first time I ever really heard of autism was several years ago when I was talking to my mom about something that happened in my brain. I was like, “Yeah, so when I think of the number seven, I see green.” And she was like “Oh, really?” and then went on little thing about how she was pretty sure this was a symptom of something that geniuses had (I now know she was literally referencing synesthesia [“when your brain routes sensory information through multiple unrelated senses, causing you to experience more than one sense simultaneously” -Cleveland Clinic] and Sheldon Cooper hahaha). While I believe there is a correlation with synesthesia and autism, synesthesia is not part of the diagnostic material and would not be used as “evidence.”

The next thing was about a year ago. I was on Pinterest taking random quizzes, as you do, and I stumbled upon an autism quiz. So I, not really knowing what autism was, was like ooh yay another quiz. So I took it and it said I had moderate autistic traits. So I was like oh interesting and told my therapist this. Therapist was like, “ummmm okay maybe… but that is a single random quiz from Pinterest. It’s probably just social anxiety.” So I was like oh yeah okay and then moved on.

A few months after that, I was on Pinterest again and scrolling through some My Hero Academia stuff when I saw this list of reasons why they headcanonned Midoriya as autistic. So I was like, “Um. That’s what autism is? That just kinda sounds like me…” so I saved it because it was cool and scrolled down to related pins. Then I found a list as to why that person headcannoned Aoyama as autistic. So again, I read through and was like “… guys this is just me.” That is what sprung the deep dive. For the next several days I did literally nothing but watch all of the videos I could find of autistic people explaining their experiences, traits of autism, autistic masking, video essays of why rottmnt donnie is great autism representation, etc. I simultaneously wrote down every single thing I related to on a massive list. Then I got to my next therapy session. I spent the whole hour presenting as much of the information I could, and by the end, Therapist was like “hmmm, well I don’t really do diagnoses so I’m not super familiar with this. But we can go over the DSM-5 breakdown next week if you want.” So I was like, yes of course, and began prepping more.

In that week, I did some reflecting on my childhood and asking my family about my childhood (since I don’t have too many memories). Then I made a list of all of the childhood things that could be autistic traits (example: I spent all of my weekends researching ancient Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamen, lining up all of my brothers action figures for hours, I couldn’t stand the feeling of a super soft blanket on my hands or feet, etc). (Also at this time, I told my best friend about it and she was like “hahaha what do you mean? You’re too smart for that” so you can be autistic and have good grades? You can also be autistic and have bad grades bc they are not mutually exclusive :D anyway back to the main chunk) Icame back to therapy prepared and ready to go and we went through the criteria. At the end, therapist was like, “I can’t diagnose you, however, you do fit all of the diagnostic criteria” and I was like “ahhhh sick I knew it.”

So then I was like “Hey, Mom and Dad, I’m almost 100% percent sure I am autistic but I would like to get an official diagnosis. What do you think about that?” I wanted a diagnosis mainly to combat the gosh darn imposter syndrome (it kind of helps but the imposter syndrome is still there!! Ahhhhhh /lh) And since neither of them had any actual clue about autism, they were confused and not sure about it. I got them to agree by appealing to their practical side and said an official diagnosis could help me get job accommodations if I needed it. Plus it’s a lot easier to do it before you become an adult, so I should figure it out soon. Eventually they agreed and we got the ball rolling.

I was super excited bc everything said that the whole diagnosis process generally takes up to two years, but our doctor got us an appointment in a few weeks. Come to find out, he was just making sure we had any sort of valid reason so he could refer us somewhere to get the diagnosis. That was a bit of a bummer but it was still chill. We eventually got an appointment with this one place that actually diagnosed and again I was excited.

We went in for the initial appointment to figure out scheduling bc I had to do a few different appointments in total. The lady that would be administering the testing was about to leave that practice in a few months though (this was in November and she was leaving at the end of December). But she said she wanted to get it done herself so she just got us in quickly. We also somehow managed to finish what should’ve been a few hours long testing in an hour so I guess I’m just really good at autism hahaha (it’s probably bc we did the paperwork tests outside of the appointment).

Then in early January (she had already left by then but gave the report to someone else) we got the results, and I got my official autism diagnosis. It was a good day ^^

So yeah that’s basically my whole story. If you wanted me to go more into detail with anything like a DSM-5 criteria breakdown or something I would be more than happy to :))))) autism is a special interest of mine, after all.

This was really fun, Anon! Thanks so much for the ask and feel free to ask anything else you are curious about ^^

[mediocre-noodle]

for the assorted multiverses, i just have harry potter (mom showed me when i was young hhhh i dont interact w it anymore bc loss of interest and uhm. *stares at jk rowling* eugh) and avatar: the last airbender (its the best ever /j)

the only thing i have written down for HP lore-wise is literally “HATES DUMBLEDORE” i mean. you do you. i did a house test for him bc i was bored— he got ravenclaw. not even surprised -> im a ravenclaw. his patronous is a nebelung cat which is funny bc my childhood cat was a nebelung (i have photos if you wanna see) (theyre from 2017 im so glad i have them still)

for ATLA:

THERE WAS AN ATLA PICREW AND IT WAS COOL OKAY? AAABJDNSNJS

dallas to aang & zuko, talking about ozai: you need me to kill that guy for you? 👀 /ref

“i’m gonna say that he’s probably an outlier bc of the world-hopper thing. something like an avatar but not? aang and the others are still the avatar, dallas isn’t considered an avatar. he can control all elements but isn’t an avatar bc he isn’t a reincarnation. the only reason he can bend all 4 is bc of his otherworldly status.” <- dallas also is a part of The Family aka is OP as FUCK! he has powers from that before he came to ATLA’s universe but he only bends the 4 elements and then the sub-types of bending styles (metal bending, blood bending, healing, lava bending, etc.) of the ATLA universe so no one gets suspicious.

cant add anything about Korra bc i havent watched it. im too attached to aang :[

thats really the only 2 assorted universes i have solid, written lore for. hermitcraft is dallas healing, nothing written yet— no ideas. i dont dare of bringing dallas into the DSMP. no way. that would only send him into a relapse. oh right! uhh i did think of some genshin ideas but its not in my notes… its in disc though lemme grab it-

THE FOLLOWING IS COPIED N PASTED!! (was talking about dsmp to a friend that doesnt know dsmp)

had a vivid reminder of one scene from an animatic (i think??) off dsmp wilbur asking (read: demanding) philza to kill him

and i literally forgot it was dsmp— i was just thinking of a crazed face and that person desperately asking another to ruin them through with a sword, while in a bout of insanity and mental breakdown. said sword is held by the other person (the one being asked to kill) and the insane one is basically pressing it into their own neck as they yell and scream to ‘just kill me!’

and i was like. hm. i cant remeber what thats from.

and i open my photo folders and scroll titles and then see dsmp related ones and go OH MY GOD ITS THE C!WILBUR DEATH—

anyways the reason i bright this up is bc i got the random vision of the scene i saw,,,

but w dallas during a breakdown of his. ***(AU bc i would not do anything to this extent)***

like oh my god imagine being the person on the other side of the sword???

i’m thinking genshin maybe. and rn, venti bc dallas and venti are like— BESTIES.

and imagine???

dallas is like: just kill me— *kinda crazy wide eyes and smile but yk also small bit of tears. not a lot,,

venti: *literally in tears* no— no!? dallas, i’m not doing that?!

dallas: this world is better off without me! besides, it’s not like i *won’t* come back!! you could push me off a cliff and break every bone in my goddamn body and *i’d be fine!!!*

venti: no, you wouldn’t be fine!? what the fuck?! im not going to *kill* you!||

or whatever idk i’m not good with writing mentally unstable characters in that way.

(btw venti doesn’t kill dallas, just wraps him up in a hug until the episode passes or whatever while venti cries. dallas apologizes for saying that, even though they both know he wasn’t in the right state of mind bc he still kinda traumatized venti. they tend to walk on eggshells when it comes to dallas’ suicidal tendencies after that— jumping into fights, taking blows for others, no self-preservation, etc.)

anywayssss :p

I WAS GOING THROUGH CHATS TO FIND MORE DALLAS MORE. GOOD NEWS. I DID FIND MORE AHHAAH

was finding music for dallas spotify playlist and got sad over lore again. and then nesquik (their nickname) started grilling me over how okd dallas is ehe

first two speak for themselves i think? the last ome was on the topic of dying and then brought up how The Eyes cannot die. (aether is the name of the male MC)

anywho-

DALLAS LORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor gyu :(((((( hes just a little silly!!!!! just needs a big ol hug!!!!!!!!

[ninyard]

i DO owe you some Kevin-shaped Taylor Swift analysis!

this is gonna be very long because i have many thoughts (as well as,,, so many lyric screenshots) so here's a little guide of my general thoughts and then i'll send more specific stuff later.

(also, i highly recommend listening to this album with these ideas in mind; it's very fun) (or even just the songs i have specific analysis for lol)

1. fortnight

- the perfect court (riko, kevin, jean, neil, & andrew)

2. the tortured poets department

- kevin about riko with hints of leaving jean with riko (could also have some riko POV)

- andreil

3. my boy only breaks his favorite toys

- KEVIN ABOUT RIKO

4. down bad

- jean about kevin or mutual andreil

5. so long, london

- jean & kevin leaving the nest

6. but daddy i love him

- honorary song for nicky as well as jeremy (just so much "queer kid from a homophobic family trying to be true to himself" energy)

7. fresh out the slammer

- andreil

8. florida!!!

- kevin, neil, & andrew

9. guilty as sin?

- andreil or jean about kevin

10. who's afraid of little old me?

- neil fucking josten (and some kevin)

11. i can fix him (no really i can)

- ANDREIL (in an "i can love you as you are/we can make each other worse" way)

12. loml

- honorary allison & seth

13. i can do it with a broken heart

- kevin's 2006-2007 season

14. the smallest man who ever lived

- kevin about riko

15. the alchemy

- the foxes vs the ravens (but mostly neil vs riko)

16. clara bow

- jean & TSC

- renee honorable mention bc it works SO well for her too

SPECIFIC SONG BREAKDOWNS (coming to an inbox near you soon)

- my boy only breaks his favorite toys

- so long, london

- who's afraid of little old me

- i can do it with a broken heart

- the smallest man who ever lived

- the alchemy

- clara bow (honorary jean analysis)

also note for any swifties reading this: yes. i know this is just the original 16 songs of the album. i know there are more songs. but it's SO MUCH and i do not have time to analyse all that yet. maybe that'll be the next part of this wild little ask infodump series if i think of anything 😂

thank you dearest ninyard for this opportunity to ramble, i'm enjoying it immensely. I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THESE BOYS!

- 🌼

YO I just looked up some of those lyrics and ????

Kevin about Riko you’re so right. Kevin driving to Wymack after Riko broke his hand… you’re so right

This is literally kevjean

And Jean about Kevin?? You’re insane for that one. Religious imagery has me FERAL

Please send me your breakdowns of them 🙏🙏 I have to know okay

Thank you, 🌼 I’m obsessed with this

[ghost-proofbaby]

So 🎸 anon with some updates here. firstly, the coworker has been suspended. they're doing an investigation on him but we all think he's fired. our manager pulled in nightshift to have a talk with them (the coworker and one of my work besties) and asked the coworker if he brought a gun in to the store and he of course denied it. apparently he was also very pissed that he has a report filed on him and interrogated my work bestie in the cooler about it convinced it was him (it was but he doesn't need to know that) and I guess he is also pissed with me for going to our manager. but 🤷🏻‍♀️ oh and apparently he told work bestie that he had started bringing his gun back on THE DAY he was asked about bringing it to the store and he was lucky they didn't search him or anything. So if I needed another reason to have not wanted to work with him on Sunday it was knowing that he literally could've had his gun on him.

update 2: I had a serious talk with the guy today. I first asked him where he wanted this to go. he then avoided that question by sending me a picture of his lunch a few hours after I sent that. 🎸 anon was frustrated. I chatted with him a little then I asked him if everything was okay. he sends me a picture of his new laser engraver. I asked him if he was drunk lasering things and if he had made my cup yet. he said maybe. I said maybe to both? he said maybe. 🎸 anon got very frustrated and sent him "you're very good at avoiding the question" and work bestie was proud of me for the snark. he again avoids that by telling me that he bought something on Amazon. I asked him if he got more Legos. he said no he got a flannel. I proceed to have a breakdown in our backroom almost crying bc work bestie and bestie bestie are both like dude if this keeps up this is dead in the water and I full on start catastrophizing being like why is it that all the weird older crazy guys like me why can't I have one good thing i thought this was actually going somewhere etc etc almost crying. then bestie bestie was like ask him what his intentions are with this bc of the mixed signals. so after a great deal of panic I did. he said it takes him a while to like and trust someone and that he's been hurt in the past and that he can see it going somewhere if we hangout more. I told him I understood and would like to hang out more bc I like spending time with him. and I actually bit the bullet and finally told him I've never had a boyfriend before and that I don't know what I'm doing and that I'm fine with going slow and just hanging out. he said it takes him a while to get used to the environment with a new person not knowing if you can trust them. i told him I understood that bc I've been through similar things thinking you could trust someone in my family but it turned out you couldn't. and he said it's hard to let people in but he thinks I get what he's saying.

so I think that went good? we communicated our feelings! I find that a positive. I feel less confused and frustrated. I think that text he sent me last night just sent me into a tailspin and I just needed reassurance.

firstly, i’m SO glad that is happening with the coworker! and i’m so so happy that you have a support system there in place to help you with dealing with someone like that. it can be such a scary situation but you’re doing what you can. just stay safe and stand your ground, love 🖤

as for the boy — it is definitely good that you’re communicating! i am giving him major side eyes for avoiding the questions so much but i mean, at least a conversation was eventually had. dating can be such an uncertain journey and so exhaustive to repeatedly go through the process of letting people in only for them to be extremely temporary sometimes. just be sure to protect your peace!! at the end of the day you’re a treasure 🎸 nonnie and you’ve gotta remember that if this boy ever doesn’t treat you that way.

sometimes life just takes a lil patience from both parties.

[bigjimbopickens]

Ok so I just had the worst flight experience ever in my 19 years of being a frequent flier and I really need to vent my frustration so hi Tumblr

Be ready for a series of unfortunate events except I’m not an orphan I am a 19 year old who was trying to go to northern BC to see my parental figure with my sibling.

December 18, 10am: We get to my home city’s airport and see that most of the flights are delayed because of the weather. It was quite snowy so we understood.

10:30am: Every flight going to Vancouver is cancelled. Shortly after every US flight is cancelled and then every flight with Air Canada is cancelled. Ours is only delayed for another hour but it was going to mean we miss our connection.

2:40-4pm: We finally fly out to Calgary and arrive just 5 minutes before our connection. However, it was at the other side of the airport and we missed it. It left without most of its passengers. If it had only stayed for just 10 more minutes this entire situation would’ve been avoided.

4:40pm: We are told to wait at the next gate as our flight was apparently rebooked. The gate was on the other side of the airport again so we all go there only to find out we apparently have to go to customer service for our new passes. Customer service is in an entire different area.

5:15-around 8:30pm: We join the long ass line for 3 and 1/2 hours only for our rebooked flight to be cancelled as soon as it was our turn. In the line we meet this woman who was trying to get to Halifax but missed the connection because she was delayed in Vancouver. She ended up buying me food because I was dying and let us go next instead of her. I’ll never forget her kindness and I hope she made it to Halifax. At around 8:30pm the massive flight board in the terminal is entirely red as every flight was cancelled. It was so eerie seeing everything be illuminated in red and everyone go silent in disbelief. I’ve also never heard anyone breakdown on an airport intercom before either. I honestly felt so bad for all the agents as that airport was severely understaffed.

9-11:40pm: We get our new passes finally and go to baggage claim and meet a friend of ours who lives in Calgary that we were able to stay overnight with. We wait for another 2 hours just to find out it was retagged and going on the next flight to northern BC.

12am, December 19: We finally leave Calgary airport. I forget how dry the air is there and also how wide the roads are. I used to live in Calgary but it’s been 2 years since I did. I go rest.

8am: I get woken by their cat. His name is Bart. Here is a picture of Bart.

9am: I call the airline to check-in so I don’t have to deal with it at the airport, since it’s what I was told to do. Turns out I didn’t need to anyways because I already had the passes and the bags were checked (this is important later).

2:30pm: We head out to try again. Once we arrive we notice how empty it was but once we were past security it was insane. So many people were stranded with nowhere to go. Made me realize how lucky I was to be stranded somewhere I’m familiar with. The flight boards were still red with cancelled flights but ours was still blue. We find out later its been delayed for an hour because it was held up at its previous spot but that’s okay.

6pm: After watching many flights get cancelled around us, we finally take off from Calgary. It was a very smooth flight, which is odd because it’s usually bumpy.

7:40pm: We disembark at our destination finally only to find out everyone who was rebooked on this flight’s bags didn’t actually get on the plane. They were put on random ones heading to the same place and hoped for the best I guess. We managed to find one of ours but the other is somewhere. I open it to check if anything had been damaged or taken and turns out it was opened to be inspected and an object had broken. It was something I made for a friend too.

11pm: The airline has the audacity to ask me how my experience was. I gave them 1 star and said “Sugma balls”. Like really, take me out to dinner first before you fuck me.

I somehow handled this well for being 19 travelling with a younger sibling who didn’t even want to go. Though I’m fucking exhausted. Normally I love flying because airplanes are my favourite thing ever but I had no time to enjoy looking at planes. I don’t blame any of the staff for this, it was entirely out of their control and they were doing their best with what info they had. They were severely understaffed at the airport and the airline had managed this whole situation so poorly. I used to want to work in the airline industry like my family does but I don’t think I could ever handle a situation like that as an attendant or agent.

Yeah uh, thanks for reading my misery. You can laugh if you want. I’m keeping the boarding passes so I can look back on this situation and hopefully laugh about it.

And to think I was actually the lucky one in this situation too. So many people remain stranded there with nowhere to go. We were only able to eventually get out because where I was going isn’t a very popular destination. It could’ve been so much worse but it also could’ve been so much better. One of my friends is flying through Calgary tomorrow so I hope he doesn’t suffer the same fate I did.

[yuyu-bi]

......where do i start.....

okay well first....this is the longest season finale ever? we kept thinking each episode was the last one but it wasn’t and we still have one more episode to go...ughhhh

gemma is the true antagonist called it bc she literally lets so much shit slide past her for the sake of keeping her family together and it kinda makes her seem like an magnet for destruction but when it’s actually bc she’s incredibly selfish and manipulative and honestly...good for her lmao even when everything is falling apart around her she somehow manages to keep everything together for the most part but not for the reasons people believe

wendy coming back and wanting to see abel is not and should not be the crime of the century i’m so sorry i do think she does have a right to at least see her son??? idk if she even wants to be involved in his life but she should at least see him? but they literally treat her like a pariah and tara literally had a mental breakdown when she talked to her for what reason??? bc she said she had a right to see her son even though tara calls him hers? no one made you take care of abel this isn’t like a ‘shameless’ situation where tara was left w abel to fend for the both of them?? you wanted to take care of him and even had a kid of your own w jax like??? and yeah tara jax AND GEMMA all deny her that which ik wont end well for her but what is the harm in letting her see the child she birthed? they act like she abandoned him purposefully but she literally went to rehab and cleaned up her like a hell of a lot better than the three of them combined she even said she probably is the most stable adult in abel’s life currently WHICH IS SO TRUE RN LMAOO this plot line is dumb and i hate it so much bc it’s actually ridiculous 

gemma giving the letters to jax bc she wants clay to die is so funny to me lmao bc why are you validating your son murdering his stepdad and then being shocked when he still wants to leave charming after doing so? it’s hard keeping track of what ppl know and what they dont know about what happened this season most of the mc dont know the gemma was beat up by clay they dont even know that piney’s dead and they sure as hell dont know that clay tried to kill tara bc of the letters she had they’re completely in the wind w some of this minus tig and opie like??? they dont even know about the letters and i doubt they will for a while

lmao also there was a scene w clay and unser where like i guess he knows that unser is in love w gemma or whatever and comments that this is probs the perfect opportunity to take gemma from him and whatever and unser has literally been calculating his downfall since lmao he even told opie that clay killed piney not even a minute after discovering his dad died like wtf??? even when clay got shot i was literally hoping for him to just like say smth about that to him but sadly unser is nicer of a character than i thought :( would have been good though pettiness on this show is abundant 

i love how he still does not know about tig and gemma lmaooo even left tig w gemma at some point before all this even happened idk idk idk 

clay and gemma man.....is so sad that i think they’re still the best couple on this show?? i doubt they’ll even be together after all this but i do think they did actually love each other as opposed to jax and tara (who is now weirdly asking people to validate their love of her??? yikes) but lmao that scene where gemma saw clay coming out of tara’s hospital room (!!!) and tells him that opie is looking for him bc of piney and then afterwards hold his face tells him she still loves him and kisses him??? pure gold my guys gemma is truly unhinged clay’s face said it all during that scene like wtf actually lmaoo especially since she wants him to die like??? and he doesnt even know that im dead she’s great 

the fbi stuff i dont care much for but i wonder why danny trejo said that otto didn’t rat out the club but he did do smth?? maybe it was just bobby idk but also juice :( hope he gets out of that situation 

tig also most likely set forward the plot line for the next season w killing that girl lmaooo this is bc no one tells him what’s going on and also he felt guilty for letting clay get shot by opie bc he loves and respects him :( that whole scene w them reminded me of christopher talking to tony while he was still in the coma from also getting shot lmao there’s more to it but yeah 

[tomsgreg]

Sorta positive rant about work

Tw: self harm mention

So uh, I’ve been cutting again because my life feels out of control, but the building was a sauna today and it was SAT testing day so anyone not proctoring had a meeting in the morning and then was sent off to grade practice regents the rest of the day. During said meeting I took off my hoodie because I was So hot I decided it was worth the risk and work bestie took notice and I saw exactly when he noticed and I was like “well shit don’t say anything and hope He Ignores it.”

I’m So then he asked me to help him grade his tests rather than the ELA department and I was like “uh sure just let the team leader know You’re Stealing Me I don’t want to be in trouble before I have to proctor” so he did and I put my sweater back on and we graded for a while before I went to proctor a kid’s test and it was so much fun like I fully am never happier than when I am fucking around with this man.

ANYWAY I come back from proctoring and he’s gone, but he comes back and is like “Sam can you come with me I want to fill you in on what poli sci has been doing” (bc I’ve been subbing another class for the last two weeks) and he finds an empty room and is like “if you want to close the door you can” and I was like “well shit what’s up” bc I’m playing dumb Duh and he’s like “you’re not in trouble or anything” and I close the door and I was like “So we’re doing this?” And he was like “Sam your arm before when you had your sweater off,” and I kinda laughed and was like “Oh we’re having this conversation okay” and he was like “oh you know what I’m talking about?” And I was like “yes I know exactly what you’re talking about go ahead” because I obviously know what’s coming.

So he’s like “Sam when you had your sweater off earlier were those cuts on your arm?” So I was like “I mean what else would they be?” And he kinda laughed and was like “I mean did you do them? Like are they self, I don’t know maybe they were marks from an uncomfortable sweater I just wanted to ask” and I was like “I mean yea like it’s whatever it’s really not a big deal like this is, this is why I’m going to see a psychiatrist basically it’s not a big deal. I just constantly feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown” and like whatever I brushed it off but he kinda just said that I was loved and cared for and I was like “thanks I appreciate it especially doing it in private” and then he repeated it again and I swear to GOD I hate people caring about me I’m gonna blow him up.

I also fear that us sitting in meetings together is exactly the kind of behavior we hate as teachers because we really just don’t shut the fuck up ever. While we were grading too our other coworker was sitting behind us grading her tests and she just kept being like “what the hell is going on up there you two?” And we also briefly talked about having kids and he was like “Oh you want kids someday?” And I was like “yea eventually” and our other coworker was like “Did you just ask if she wants to have Kids with you?” So idk if she’s just Over Our Bullshit or if she ships it but I’m trying not to make any trips to the delusional store regarding our dynamic so I’m gonna go with over our shit.

[cheolhub]

AHH yay you went with your bestieee!! that always makes it more fun:,) well i impulsively cut my bangs earlier while having an insane mental breakdown BUT all is good because my hairstylist fixed that catastrophe🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️how was your day?? i hope you don’t mind me being overly friendly!!

( this is the anon who biases kai by the way haha you definitely know that but just incase i’m confusing you bc i tend to be a lot at times lolol )

( and yet another ps bc i forgot to mention this but never ever apologize for venting!!! <3 )

BFF HI. tbh i love ur asks so of course i don’t mind you being friendly at all :,) !! mental breakdowns 😍 i hope ur doing okay tho bae (i bet ur bangs look super cute <3 i love bangs sm)

my day was okay :) ive been having a pretty harsh week cuz of school but today was a lot better hehe i just went to work and ate a gyro but still better lol

[sweet-honey-fruit]

heeello there, i just got done having the biggest cry i've had in awhile so i've come to ask for some comfort with itto, gorou, heizou and scara if possible comforting their s/o (preferrably gn) who's hiding away having a breakdown bc they're the designated therapist friend everyone goes to for support while they have no one to support them. Ty for your time and sorry for throwing this on ya

I’m sorry to hear that dear, I hope you’re feeling okay. And I’m sorry for getting to this so late. I understand how you feel, I too was a designated therapist friend, so this hits close to home. I’m more than happy to provide you some comfort ❤️. I’m sorry Scara’s is so short, I couldn’t see him do anything else other than violence dfjfdngfd.

Genshin Men Comforting Therapist Friend Reader

Genre: hurt/comfort

Warnings: toxic friendships, implied violence (scara), manipulation (heizou, not towards reader), mentions of spreading STI’s (heizou)

Gorou

Gorou was starting to get worried when he couldn’t find you anywhere. With everything being tense between the Shogunate and the Resistance, he was starting to think of the worst possible scenarios that could've led to your disappearance

But when Kokomi came up to him and said that you were hiding in her own hiding place crying, he felt a sense of dread and relief. Relief because you were still here and not kidnapped by the Shogunate. Dread because, well, you’re hiding and crying

He rushed over to you immediately, and prompted to comfort now and ask questions later

He held you to his chest, tail wrapping around your waist as he hushed you, rocking you back and forth

His presence alone was enough to make you calm down a little

He even let you pet his ears to help you stop, and it worked surprisingly

His eyes scanned you over as you played with his ears, seeing if there were any physical injuries plaguing your skin

When he was sure you were okay in that aspect, he whispered out, “What has gotten my beloved upset? If you wish to tell me, then please do. But I won’t rush you either. I’m here to help.”

His words almost made you start crying again. Finally, someone who is caring for you

Gorou is lowkey panicking when you start to tear up again

But when the words spill from your mouth about how people you delcared as friends in the Resistance are using you for emotional support without providing back, he finds it hard to hold back a growl

His arms hold you tighter, playing with your hair. He’s going through every logical solution to the problem, but he keeps circling back to snapping at the ‘friends’ that left you in such a state

Once you’ve calmed down a bit, he’s carrying you back to the shrine, whispering words of encouragment

Saying how good you are, that you’re such an amazing person. That you’re worth it, you’re more than a therapist. You’re sweet, kind, loving, and worth fighting for

He sits down with Kokomi to talk about the issue once he sees you getting some much needed rest

They both come up with a plan to form a seminar about the importance of caring just as much as being cared for

Gorou is glaring at a specific group of people throughout the whole thing

Heizou

Heizou was about to form a search party with the whole Tenryou Commission when he came home and you weren’t there

He’s normally level headed, prompting to think things through way before flying off the handle. But when it comes to you? His first instinct is to internally freak out

Once he managed to calm himself down and start thinking rationally again, he started going through more logical reasonings as to what happened. And knowing you, he can figure it out quite easily

Ever the clever little detective, he boiled it down to one possible situation: An emotional event happened that caused you to seclude yourself. With that being said, he knows you’re somewhere in Inazuma City considering how you couldn’t have gone too far. Further thinking, he knew the exact place you’d go: Under the cliff side down by the harbor.

As always, he was correct. Seeing you leaning against the rocks with a blank look, tears staining your flushed cheeks. He’s never seen you so defeated and heartbroken before. It shattered his heart to see you like that

Prompting to keep up with his flirty boy persona, he walks up to you with a beaming smile “There’s my dreamy love, what’s gotten you so down in the dumps?”

At first you’re truly adament on not telling him, trying to say that you’re fine. you’re okay. That you’re just overreacting and he doesnt need to worry

And to that he’s saying bullshit. He’ll get it out of you one way or another. He’s good at that considering how that’s practically part of his job description

Slowly but surely, he’ll work you to slipping up, ending up venting to him about how exhausted you are. How you’re just tired of being used to solve your ‘friends’ problems. Tired of the toxic mentality they’re leading you to believe. You’re. Just. So. Tired

The whole time he’s listening attentively, holding you close and kissing your temple every now and then. He’s secrelty plotting what to do with these…friends of yours

He coaxs you to allow him to carry you back home. He’ll lay you in bed, cuddle with you, and wait till you’re asleep to slip back out again

He finds the people that put you through so much pain and oh boy is he making sure they don’t hurt you again. Lets just say he did some back ground checks on them

“Unless you want the whole city to know that you two are the reason for the STI pandemic a couple of months ago, then I suggest you, how do I put this? Be more mindful of people’s feelings, yeah?”

Although he recommends you get new friends all together. He’ll even introduce you to Yoimiya!

Scaramouche

He. Is. Raising. Hell.

No one is coming out alive, I’m sorry

Not when he stumbles upon you curled up on the bathroom floor and baaling (haha) your eyes out

Not when you’re so hysterical from the amount of emotional and mental build up from those who you call friends caused you

Leaving you out to dry when you’ve done everything for them? That’s rich, especially for the guy who uses people for his own benefits for a leaving

Maybe if it was someone else, he would congratulate them on a job well done

But since it’s you, the one and only person he cherishes, he’s losing his mind

The most he’ll do to comfort you is to lead you back to bed and drape a blanket over you, allowing you to cry it out

Comfort is his weak point, he doesn’t really know how. But what he does know what to do is to cause pain

And pain he will cause

He’s marching over to them, a wicked grin on his face

To save the gory details, lets just say he used them as target practice

When he comes back, all he says is “You’re going to need new ‘friends.’ Or, just, don’t have any at all. They’re pathetic anyway.”

[tanoraqui]

this stunning art says it’s time for my long-awaited (to me) extended headcanon breakdown of the kings of the Noldor

Finwe

Finwë was a good king, he really was. He was responsible, inspiring; he dared to trust and to explore; he was probably even pretty good at administration and politics

He led his people through dark lands to light and they loved him for it

He just could NOT apply these skills to family. Perhaps because he loved them all too dearly to put his foot down properly, perhaps because he kept hoping that in the promised land of bliss it would all somehow work out...but his family WAS politics...

And Feanor kinda WAS the favorite, but also the child most obviously in need of care so he got the attention for that too...

Finwe was a good king but a merely alright father, overall

Though he did try

Fëanor

Fêanor would've been, was, a terrible king and Fingolfin was SO right to say so. Fëanáro 'constantly traveling' Curufinwë. Fëanáro 'okay, buckling d- ooh what’s THAT academic/crafting/parental discipline? I bet I can revolutionize it!' Curufinwë (and then he does, of course). Fëanáro “if I sublimate all grief and guilt into victimized rage, I never even have to think about the process” Curufinwë.

This elf had 20 char, 20 int, and 10 wis at best, and alas the char+int made people THINK he'd be a good king when he insisted loudly and eloquently

But they and he were WRONG! 

Fëanor has only ever read and/or signed paperwork out of spite

Fëanor would do much better as that Miles Vorkosigan kind of character, where he’s close to the throne, loved dearly and trusted utterly, but not given any sort of desk job, and instead just kind of aimed at problems sometimes while everyone else sits back and waits for the inevitable, hopefully beneficial explosions

Fingolfin

Fingolfin was a good king. He had a natural knack for responsibility, practicality, foresight, complex problems and politics, and if he wasn't as naturally charismatic as Fëanor (no one was) he was still damn compelling, and he worked at building alliances

Fingolfin studied debate like a craft. Fëanor's speeches could rile a crown but Fingolfin's rhetoric could make you forget you'd walked into this room with a different position. The only one who could out-argue him was Anairë

(Fingolfin may or may not have developed entire rhetorical strategies, ie, honed the ability to be antagonizingly calm and logical, for the primary purpose of pissing off Fëanor. It worked.)

The Noldor would do entirely well with Fingolfin as king forever. He wants the job and he wants to do it well, with intelligence and care, so he would. Whatever natural talents he lacks, he appends himself to acquiring. He would even check and balance himself so as to not lose control like either his father or his...Fëanor

(the Ice was a very good time for asking oneself things like “why am I doing this” and “what could I have done better”, and he carefully maintained the habit in Beleriand, and afterward)

Fingolfin thinks he has the capacity to be calm about things but actually it’s a lie that he tells so well he convinces even himself, until he does something like completely snap, personally challenge Morgoth to a duel, and permanently injure him with his dying blow.

Finarfin

Left out of this art but i'm including him anyway! Finarfin never wanted this goddamn job. 

Finarfin wanted to live on the beach with his beautiful wife and children, and go home to his family for working holidays (working bc extended birth family). Finarfin is the ONLY child of Finwë born with a natural capacity to be Chill and not need to impress everyone he meets. (Possible other exception: Lalwen.)

Nonetheless, Finarfin rose to the challenge when he needed to, and after centuries of experience he's very good at it. He has a knack for finding the best people to delegate to, which is an UNDERVALUED skill especially in his overachieving family

Finarfin is also the only member of his immediate family who unironically enjoys reading reports and signing paperwork. It’s peaceful. Does nobody else appreciate peaceful things? (They do not.)

Also he's secretly simmering with resentment, rage and vengeance and one day i WILL write about him kicking Morgoth's ass personally, with the help of all his few remaining relatives at the end of the First Age (which wins him a few points with the still-hardline Fëanorians when they get out of Mandos)

(That said, most of Finarfin’s reputation for skilled peace-making in tumultuous early Second Age Valinor was based on him sending his eldest son to talk to the most fiercely squabbling factions, because almost every variation of Elven kindred came out of the First age liking or at least grudgingly respecting Finrod)

skipping the obvious next in line for a moment to talk about Fingon

In an ideal world, Fingon would never have been king

Yes, he was swayed by the idea of exploring new lands and ruling them in his own right - but he was also in his elf!mid-20s and still living with his parents or at least firmly under their dominion, and that of his grandfather and the Valar. Of course so many of these people wanted to get away to somewhere more independent, royalty and not! And it’s inescapably noticeable that when he got to Middle Earth, all his notable acts were as his father’s field general, not as Lord of Dor-lomin - a fief later given to Men anyway - and the great alliance formed during his brief tenure as High King was the Union of Maedhros…

Fingon could be a decent king, if he had to be, but only in the unexplored post-story way that often happens to protagonists after they save the kingdom and get the girl, where in your practical heart you know that they wouldn’t really be able to enact all the reforms one might dream of...

Because Fingon’s proper role in a story isn’t kingship - it’s to be a Hero. He climbs the dark mountain and rescues the missing prince, with a song, a knife and a prayer. He leads the defeat of the orc army and he figures out how to fend off the dragon. He is valiant and a loyal friend; all who meet him know it immediately and cannot help but love him for it.

And for both of these features he challenges the Enemy at his door and so dies, and the High Kingship of the Noldor in Beleriand dies with him

Turgon

...because I love Turgon, I do. Turgon’s natural state is to be an upper-middle-class dad, mayor of a medium-sized town whose re-election is never challenged, who often takes afternoons off to take his daughter to doctor appointments or soccer games. Turgon should get to wear the most expensive jackets in the Land’s End catalogue. Turgon, I think, was a much happier, open person before Elenwë died on the Ice, and he never forgave the Fëanorians for her death, not unto the end of Arda itself. Turgon is a cat person but he’s best friends with a dog person (despite...hiccups) (to Finrod being a dog person; not to their best-friendship)

And Turgon was a great ruler of Gondolin! 

But the only reason the Quenta Silmarillion acknowledges him as a High King is that the Quenta Silmarillion was told mostly by a Gondolindrim

Gil-galad

Like Finarfin, Gil-galad spent much of the Second Age trying to pull endlessly fractal factions of elves into a coherently, or at least non-violently, co-habitating community. Finarfin, however, gets to deal with this mostly in continuous drips and drabbles as people re-embody; Gil-galad had this problem ALL AT ONCE from Day One. One day when Gil-galad re-embodies, they’ll amicably debate who had it rougher

Gil-galad also, like Finarfin with Finrod, 100% cheated by sending Elrond to deal with the most fractious factions, because almost every elf left in Middle Earth at the start of the Second Age was vulnerable to Elrond looking authoritatively Disappointed in them. (Gil-galad was vulnerable to Elrond looking Disappointed in him, albeit not so much the ‘authoritative part. Disappointing Elrond was emotionally tantamount to a capital crime.)

Gil-galad was also very good at managing this chaos in his own right, without alienating anyone and even with generally endearing himself to everyone

Despite [checks wordcount] 21k and counting of AU to the contrary, my preferred Gil-galad headcanon is that he was Just Some Guy from Nargothrond who stepped the fuck up after the city fell. He unofficially led and represented the Noldor in Balar and then more officially during the War of Wrath, possibly while deliberately misleading a wide variety of people with a wide variety of implications about his parentage...and afterwards there was a whole public ceremony where Celebrimbor, Elrond, and Galadriel all declared him “king” and “cousin” and the question never really arose again during his reign.

HOWEVER my TRUE Gil-galad belief is expressed in @herenortherenearnorfar’s excellent fic “Five Gil-Galads Walk Into A Bar”, which proposes that no matter what his parentage, Gil-galad would always turn out roughly the same, because the Noldor (and etc. Second Age elves) needed a king and so he became one.

And he was good at it

But when he re-embodies, he content to leave the High Kinging to someone else, and simply take over managing the sub-kingdom of Tol Eressëa (where they welcome him gladly)

(Potential honorable mention: Lalwen

Lalwen, whose characterization is of course based entirely on headcanon, might be Queen of Tol Eressëa for a few thousand years, unless Finrod gets stuck with the job - but I think he more likely centers his life around Tirion, while ofc traveling a great deal? 

Lalwen doesn’t want to be queen of anything, but she’s the only member of the House of Finwë who survived Beleriand while remaining in good standing with the Valar—good enough to come home, at least. She can do admin, or at least, she can competently delegate admin. She can do politics, second only to Fingolfin in the family for it - she’s no rhetorician nor speechifier, but she has very good people skills. She wants to help make her people’s, all people’s, lives better wherever she can, and she gets along alright with most varieties of Beleriand veterans, and she’ll do her duty if her little brother asks it... But she just does not want to be the one In Charge. She’s so happy when Gil-galas re-embodies.)

And at last, the poor little orange meow-meow of the First Age…Maedhros

Maedhros is ideal High King of the Noldor, or at least, he would’ve been. First let me tropily ramble a bit:

Just as Fingon should never have been King, Maedhros should never have been forced into such a protagonist-y role. It broke them both. In a story that wasn’t a tragedy, Maedhros would’ve been the tier-1 supporting character whom the hero rescues in Act 1 and who then has a compelling but not central character arc, and at the end we know we’ve won because we’ve put him on the throne while the hero retires to the country and/or runs off to have more lighthearted adventures with their new spouse (and/or stays and marries him, @Fingon if you must.) He’s the Jonathan of Conte. The Roy Mustang. The Rhy Maresh (Shades of Magic trilogy, V.E. Schwab, strong rec.) And then in the next-generation series, he’s a Reasonable Authority Figure who’s secretly badass.

Unfortunately, of course, The Silmarillion is not that story.

But there is, I swear, a Better Timeline out there somewhere wherein they just had more time before Morgoth Ungoliant struck. A timeline where Fëanor and Fingolfin had the opportunity to test a tentative truce without the worst circumstances in the world forcing it into overdrive and then breaking. A timeline where that went about as well as expected (ie, poorly), and Finwë soon put up his hands and said, “Alright, you know what, oh my beloved sons you are both demoted; I’m going on extended vacation and Maitimo is ruling Tirion in my absence” - and it would’ve worked because Fëanor would’ve been pleased that it was at least his son (Nelyafinwë indeed, ha!) and Fingolfin would’ve been satisfied that a) it wasn’t Fëanor, who is infuriating AND objectively bad at the job, and b) at least Finwë was treating them equaly for once

And moreover it would’ve worked because canonically Maedhros is the chief inheritor of Fëanor’s crowd-rousing fire, and he also shows Fingolfin’s practicality and responsibility (and tendency to suicide in extremis), and Finarfin’s ability to humble himself in the name of peace for his collective people...an ability to build eclectic but solid alliances best otherwise demonstrated by Finrod and maybe Finwë himself...let’s mine the raw headcanon and say Lalwen’s stubborn loyalty and determination to make everyone get along, and Findis’s possession of a firm moral compass...

It’s just that, of course, the loyalty and responsibility got twisted somewhere along the way, until the moral compass was first shoved to the bottom of a bag and then tossed out entirely, while his blazing spirit carried others along with him, and the losses from that meant that when push really came to shove on humbling himself for a greater cause, he couldn’t see a glimmer of hope that it would work, and...

Maedhros vibe as a king IS “beloved, must-respected, distinctly older brother who won’t start fights but will end them”

The difference between Maedhros as king and Fingolfin as king is mostly that Maedhros has a slightly greater natural affinity for it, especially the crowd-rousing - he’s got that Fëanorian 20 Charisma while Fingolfin is rocking a mere 19. Practically, there’s very little difference - way less difference than, say, Fëanor is happy with, in terms of how his eldest son and eldest half-brother do politics and project management. But Fingolfin is just slightly more studied at it; Maedhros has had to practice, of course, but he more does (older brothery) kingly things as an unthinking default

As mentioned in another post, I like to think that being a naturally skilled healer has always gone hand in hand with leadership in Arda, and Maitimo was no exception, but Angband and Thangodrim just Broke something in him and he never used Song nor any particular craft to heal anyone ever again...until, perhaps, after much healing in Mandos.

I think Maedhros’s surrender of the crown was clever politics, but also pure practicality in that he was well enough to snark about Thingol, practice clever politics, etc, but he wasn’t well enough yet in body or spirit to handle the job of High King of the Noldor as all their fractious fractions settled into a new life of siege warfare in a strange land. But he got better, and in the wake of Dagor Agraleb, there was a conversation like,  Fingolfin: You seem very well again, nephew. Maedhros: I am, thank you for noticing, Uncle. Fingolfin: Are we going to have a problem about that? Maedhros:  Fingolfin:  Maedhros:  Maedhros: No.  Maedhros: But, weirdly thank you for asking.

...But if everyone gets re-embodied eventually, changed forever but newly healthy in it, and has until the end of Arda to gravitate toward the personal ideal forms of their lives...well, for entertainment’s sake, I like to think that Maedhros come out of Mandos very determined to be nothing but a responsible older brother, publicly deferential vassal, and world’s best one-handed house-husband...but these people over here could also use some Responsible Older Brothering...and these people over here...and Fingon doesn’t want to sit in this committee but someone sensible ought to...if no one steps up and manages this new bridge project, it’s never going to get done...Uncle, have you tried this to make the bronzesmiths and the pewtersmiths stop fighting...

One day late(?) Fourth Age, Maedhros is trying to pick the perfect jewelry to match today’s court outfit and Arafinwë pokes his head in to be like, “here, try this” and hands him the High King crown. Maedhros says, “Oh, perfect– wait–” Arafinwë is already sprinting away shouting, “No takebacks! Eärwen and I will be on the beach!”

BUT I also think that sometime in the late Second Age, the semi-meritocratic, ever-insquabbling (like infighting but pettier) artisan guilds of the Noldor, + some political philosophers, give rise to the idea of general democratic elections for high office. So it’s probably a little more complicated than that.