#bc i have been struggling a bit lol
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bikananjarrus · 5 months ago
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to the people who regularly put together those amazing web weaving posts, you have my undying love and affection <333 truly in awe of the parallels y'all weave together
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bacchuschucklefuck · 5 months ago
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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ofthehands · 7 months ago
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The sillies
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askamnesiamoonjumper · 6 months ago
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aau rework version of the overload/boss fight where it actually has consequences and bearing on the character dynamics save me,, save me aau rework,,,,
#Ily greif Stricken mj ily trust issues hattie ily pissed snatcher etc#The overload actually being a big deal also works out better bc youknow snatch doessss elude to it with mjs contract that shit will go down#So It fits better to me theyll all get a dynamic shift#ESP with the thought of mj finally starting to bond w snatcher a bit beforehand too fuckkkk#Undid all that progress#AND HAT that fucks me upppp like the one adult person you meet that you trust that hasn’t tried to kill you or backstab you doing just that#That will FUCK HER UPPPPP#THE SECOND IT HIT ME THE REASON I STRUGGLED WRITING HER WAS BC SHE WAS BORING WAS EARTH SHATTERING#BC THEN I WAS INSTANTLY LIKE “ok she comes to befriend mj wayyyy too fast I gotta inflict trust issues upon her later”#Bc I mentioned it like she jokes that mj is the only person on earth that didn’t try to kill her but never played on that fact#So boom the overload is my opportunity#Like they can’t get into a found family THAT EASILY. THESE GUYS ARE FIGHTING TOOTH AND NAIL FOR IT !!#a!au#amnesia!moonjumper au#ahit au#ahit a!au#Also if if ur wondering I drew snatch like that bc I like the idea he’s in between forms bc he’s weakened <mj uses the blue strings on him#Hence why he doesn’t do anything during the fight bc he’s kinda sorta been restrained oops lol#Watching ur forest and subjects get fucked up by a weirdo fucked up you cannot be fun#No one wins in overload arc. Everyone is having a bad time. Lol.#Ok I’m done yapping#Everyone loves Raymond OUT everyone hates mj IN
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skunkes · 11 months ago
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minhmynchi · 2 months ago
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a delete later wip so im turning off reblogs but yay my turn for a scene redraw
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fluentisonus · 2 months ago
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part of the problem is that a lot of hugo's politics are really well thought out & considered & good but then some of them are like. entirely vibes-based to the point of feeling muddled & inconsistent & even straight up Bad sometimes. which is annoying
#sometimes it's like he's just saying things. chewing it over in real time but not getting anywhere really. which is frustrating when you've#just been immersed in a really deep & serious point he's carefully made & laid out just before#<- e.g. this section of revolt vs insurrection has some good points ig & could be interesting if it was actually grounded in some sort#of idk. political theory or something. but instead he spends a lot of it just falling back on ~vibes which sucks Especially bc#sometimes that 'sense' misleads him i think! and he ends up wandering closer to certain reactionary ideas than he intends#like he starts w this really banger bit basically making fun of the bourgeoisie opinion on violent uprising but then?? kind of ends up#doing that a bit himself by the end? not to mention that tbh i think the whole distinction he's trying to make here is kind of bogus anyway#it really feels he's trying to soothe his like lingering bits of conservative discomfort around this sort of armed uprising#by sorting it into a 'good' 'type' while maintaining a 'bad' 'type' for anything he's still not comfortable with#<- i wouldn't phrase that quite so harshly except i still think his bit on 1848 is annoying & this sort of goes hand in hand w that towards#like. actually actively working against the values he's trying to strive towards. y'know.#it's like you can see genuinely him intellectually trying to come round but he has still not let go of these#sort of like. instinctive conservative bourgeois discomforts in his subconscious. if that makes sense#thoughts#<- also the take on caesar & alexander & columbus etc. 😑🚬 i'm tired#kind of funny though bc sometimes his characters (i.e. like the amis) come across as having more clear grounded discussed well#thought through political opinions than he does. lol. it's like he saw the vision but was struggling with it personally at times#les mis
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clonehub · 2 years ago
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part of the tragedy of the clones is the accelerated aging. its inseparable from their creation and their duty. it doesnt just artificially shorten their lives, it concentrates the feelings they have about themselves and their ability to leave/stay and to fight or not fight, because they have half as much time to do anything. if their bodies break down at an alarming speed, theyd probably hate to have to do it outside of what's familiar to them, even if what's familiar is an active violation of their rights. its an artificial life constraint as well as an artificial choice constraint. if you had all the time in the world, you'd probably worry less about why you were put into the galaxy, what your "purpose" was. existentialism is less daunting when you can exist perpetually. not so for clones.
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stinkrascal · 10 months ago
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the mnt pass song in baldurs gate is on..........time to focus
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parkeryangs · 2 months ago
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if only 11 year old me knew that someday i would be 21 and still not better but still surviving, and still watching those videos of those two guys on the internet, about to catch a tour irl for the first time in a few months :')
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piplupod · 4 months ago
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mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset
#oohoohoo the self destructive ''well maybe I'll just push myself bc im going to be tired either way'' sure was a bad choice!#''lol who cares anymore im sick of being fatigued and im probably just making it up'' you are a fucking idiot god bless your soul#and yet.... the urge to Make It Worse is still so strong.... gee i sure do love p.mdd!#honest to god im so fucking frustrated w this brain lately#been trying to hide any sharps away from myself because I've just been so wildly careening into self destructive tendencies#and im sick of trying to like. control myself. i am my own keeper and im fucking sick of it gjfkdl#im trying so fucking hard to hold it together and keep myself on the right path but im really just incredibly tired#it feels like im trying to wrestle a knife out of a toddler's hand#and then the toddler cries and tantrums bc they wanted the knife#and i have nothing to give them to distract them. except im also the toddler.#idk how long i can keep this up for bc im ALSO managing other ppls emotions and baggage and shit at the centre#and over text. mainly that one person who i wish would just fucking leave me alone#but her grandma is literally on her deathbed so I can't rly try learning how to be firm rn#bc if i try to be firm i worry i will end up being a dick and i dont want to do that while she's struggling w pre-emptive grief#i don't know !!! im just so goddamn exhausted and struggling#and the world seems very cruel and terrifying and im honestly convinced im never going to find a way to exist peacefully in it#like im always going to be scared and struggle to trust ppl and struggle to socialize and feel safe anywhere#im going to be so honest. i wish i had One friend irl fhfkdl like. i think that would help a lot of my issues#to have someone i care about and respect and who actually cares about AND respects me back#and who i could just. be around. exist in the same vicinity. and not feel so scared and unsafe#a bit of a break from those constant feelings while not being isolated#who i could do activities with ???#thats actually so hard for me to imagine ever having ffhdjlsl its been so many years since I've had any semblance of that#it doesn't feel like im ever going to have that again :') it feels so impossible. pipe dream. unrealistic and unattainable#okay i need to shut up fhdksl sorry for being so insane on here every day jfc#one of these days i hope i will be genuinely stable for like... longer than a day fhfkdl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#self harm mention
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cerealmonster15 · 4 months ago
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kaveh genshin is so relatable bc i too am in my mid to late 20s trapped in a people pleaser vortex of my own making and having. a hell of a time re: professional career
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pessimisticprincess · 1 year ago
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i requested the whole second week of october off and it just got approved 🥳
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iceicewifey · 8 months ago
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love it when ocs show me what they look like when i'm struggling with a design like,,
there you are!!!
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I was actually having a pretty good day until just now :/
#i reread and made notes for two solid hours! 15k of words!#i went for a walk and got ransom a toy and stocked up on chocolate (my excuse is that sometimes when i'm feeling awful eating a bit of#chocolate helps lol and this stuff was 50% off) and generally had a good walk!#and i had a bath. first bath of the season! and i read like hafl of out of hte silent planet while i was bathing and it was wonderful!#mum made the BEST ginger pudding today!#so like. i've had a great day today!#so many blessings!#and now i just feel awful because i ate something and i wanna throw up and i mustn't#been struggling more with dealin w eating lately too at times and in the last week have been deviating from what the dietitian's been#encouraging me (variety) bc i couldn't deal with it#but today was a good day! a great day! and now i feel terrible for no apparent reason#yay me :/#puddleglum hours#personal#incidentally am SO grateful for the job that requires me to wear short sleeves bc i know that by now i would've harmed deep enough to scar#on my arms as well if i hadn't had the knowledge that the next day id have to be at work w that. the reason this is coming up rn is#bc SURPRISE i rlly wanna harm#and i CAN'T my mother found my knife. honestly even having it htere whether or not i used it felt like it gave me an option even if i#didn't take it. it was a comfort. and now it feels awful not having it esp as idk when i'll get it back and also even worse my parents#litcherally gave me that knife for my last birthday. i don't know how mum feels about that#but yeah i just. i want to do smth drastic so bad#and i CAN'T#tw sh#i don't even know why#ugh
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mysticfemme · 9 months ago
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I got given some feedback on the second assignment I ever did at university over two years ago (feedback was two years old too) from a senior lecturer and they said my academic voice was strong and that what had been submitted at the time showed great promise 🥹
It was submitted for publication but bc it was a really limited assignment and not long enough it didn't meet the guidelines (also again, literally my second assignment ever) but one of my old lecturers today told me that I could work on it and resubmit it for publication next year or give them my final dissertation instead (if it was good enough)
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