#fyi this goes for ANY inappropriate thing. like it does not just have to be like interrupting ppl or smth | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gwoongi · 5 years ago

Text

wordless pt.2

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: hitman (john wick au), sugar daddy au, angst rating: mature words: 4.4k warnings: violence mention, toxic relationships, mentioned deaths a/n: oh fyi jeongguk isnt part of the mafias included in these drabbles, he’s a solo hitman who works closely with taehyung nd other mentioned men. he has his own little business/group of hitmen (like the continental kinda style thing) where he’s sort of the big man who people look up to, but he’s not rly mafia :) hope that helps explain stuff hehehe. Also this one is sad heheheh x2

Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears them again.

Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

(11) Telling them a dumb joke just to see them smile.

“I’m really sorry, baby. I really am.”

Next to you on the couch, Jeongguk reaches for your hands that are clamped in your lap. The clock ticks hauntingly slowly, and everything feels dark, and cold, and empty. The front room that is usually vibrant with life and energy is now devoid of emotion, besides the sniffles on the couch that are hidden in shadows.

“It’s okay,” you reply quietly, sniffing once again. “Not your fault.”

“I know,” Jeongguk says, “but I’m still sorry.”

There was nothing that could have been done. Not really, even though Jeongguk repents at the thought that he could have done something. It was an accident, a car that pushed into another one and sent your parents off the bridge and into the Han River. It seemed impossible, but as of late, the impossible became possible. Jeongguk had heard the news several hours after you, contemplating in the silence of your responses over the phone. Eventually, he asked Taehyung and got more than what he bargained for.

“Is there anybody left?” he asks.

“Like my family?”

“Yeah,” he softly answers.

You sniff once more, wiping at your eyes with your sleeve. “My aunt, she, uh, she lives in Finland, I think. I don’t know, everybody cut ties after you. Well. After, you know.”

Jeongguk gulps sourly, “yeah. After your brother.”

Somewhere in the city, police sirens blare. From in the kitchen, the small radio still reads out a report of the accident, and if Jeongguk were to rise and look out of the window, he might see the flashing lights from the bridge. When the room goes silent, Jeongguk’s just afraid you’ll hear the report and start crying again.

“Can you, um,” you start, swallowing the lump in your throat, “I don’t know, tell me about your day or something.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jeongguk mutters, rubbing his thumb across your hand. “Wore that badge to work today. You know the Dad one?” You nod and he continues, “Got a stir out of my guys. You were right, Taehyung got salty about it.”

You manage a laugh, little puffs of air from your nose. “I should have got him one. Maybe a brother one, I didn’t see uncles.”

“Fuck him,” Jeongguk says, “My gift, my badge.”

“Don’t wanna upset him,” you shrug pathetically, along with a tight sniff that burns your left nostril.

Jeongguk rubs your arm, “He’s not gonna be upset. Seeing you upset makes me upset, though,” he says quietly, and you peer around your hair at him, “what kind of Dad would I be if I let my little girl be upset, hmmm?”

He raises his eyebrows like he’s feigning an innocence and the sight makes you laugh slightly, not enough to distract you but enough to leave Jeongguk satisfied. He smiles and leans over, dropping his head against yours with a little sigh that blows your hair. It wasn’t enough to distract you from the devastation that is losing your family, but if it’s something to make you feel less alone, then he’ll try.

(12) Following their family traditions that they enjoy.

“I can’t imagine your brother doing this,” Jeongguk says, holding a ribbon of tinsel in his hands with an unconvincing stare thrown in your direction. He does this whilst standing near the doorway, just behind your couch, like he’s ready at any moment to leave or come inside.

As he does this, you’re across the living room, waltzing with a tree that stands on an angle, lopsided and skinny and naked with no decorations. The lights sit in a snake-like swirl on the floor, flickering on one setting and in resignation, you sigh loudly and turn to face him.

“Well, the last time he helped me decorate a tree, I was five,” you reason. “It’s been a long time, but my parents always did this with me, and-”

“Yeah, I know,” Jeongguk frowns. Since the bridge, he’s always walked on eggshells around the subject of parents and traditions. Before he knew it, Christmas was two weeks away, and around his tight schedule and endless demand for his presence at work, he figured he had to make up for the lost time by being with you.

Jeongguk never imagined that he’d rely on you to absolve him of his own boredom and self pity, but here he is, on a Wednesday afternoon in your apartment that he unwillingly thinks of as a retreat, a home away from home when things get too claustrophobic back at his own place. Things are messy and complicated and cold there. He likes being here, because of how it feels being here.

But maybe he’s here out of guilt, and you stare at him for a few seconds, recognising this unfamiliar distance in his eyes that screams guilt and discomfort. You don’t want to mention it, scared of what might be underneath the mask he’s wearing tonight.

“If you’re not gonna do anything, can you at least hold the tree so I can put the lights on it?” you ask. “You can just go, if you want.”

“I don’t,” he insists, moving around the couch. “I just. I never did this as a kid.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he admits, grabbing the tree as you crouch for the lights, “so this feels a little childish.”

You shrug, “nothing childish about Christmas.”

“Everything about Christmas is childish when you have never really celebrated it,” Jeongguk theorises. Now that he’s holding the tree, it’s a lot easier to decorate.

“We can celebrate it if you’d like,” you suggest. He says nothing, “not like all the gifts and stuff, but just in general.”

Jeongguk smiles to himself and moves so you can weave the lights around the branches. “Alright, sounds like it’ll kill my time this Christmas?”

You scoff, laughing lightly. “Well, isn’t that what I’m here for? To kill your time?”

Jeongguk takes a step back once the lights are wrapped around, and throws an arm over your shoulder, bringing you closer to his body. “Something like that.”

(13) Playing your fingers through their hair while sitting next to them on the couch.

Jeongguk had asked you to meet him at his place when he got off from work, and thankfully the guard on the gate had let you up early with the promise of cookies the next time you came to visit. You let yourself up to his suite and waited on the couch, a cup of tea steaming on the coffee table and nothing to do but stare at the ceiling, lit up blue with the city outside.

About half an hour later, Jeongguk comes through the front door and drops his shit by the shoe rack. His keys rattle and drop on the counter and a few moments later, he’s moving across the room to the couch where he drops, knees first, setting his head in your lap as he falls.

“Hey,” you say unenthusiastically, stifling a yawn as he groans and stuffs his face closer into your body. He doesn’t say anything, just lies there, and you gently lock your fingers into his hair that seems messy and almost curly and begin to play.

“Tired?” you ask, and this time he moans in reply, a yes, and nothing else is said.

(14) Singing and dancing to their favourite song.

“Remind me again- it’s definitely okay that I’m here as your guest?”

Jeongguk’s hand on your lower back never disappears as he tours you around the room, gently smiling at people around him with a slender glass of wine in the other free hand. It is on this Saturday evening that Jeongguk finds himself in attendance of the Somber-Rain Ball. Unlike any other time where Jeongguk came solo, or with his colleagues from work, tonight he is joined by you, tailored in a beautiful black dress that sweeps the floor behind you, still somehow modest enough to keep you out of the glazed eyes of the other attendees.

“Yes, it is absolutely fine,” he sighs, steering you out of the self-collected gallery that surely belongs in this large and maze-like mansion. “I wouldn’t have brought you with me if it wasn’t allowed, Y/N.”

“I know, but lately you’ve been doing all sorts of things that you probably shouldn’t,” you remind him, curling into his armpit as you cross the dancefloor towards the bar, that slopes to a side and is scarcely populated. A man who stands there bows his head to Jeongguk but ignores him straight afterwards.

Jeongguk laughs, “Isn’t that my thing?”

“I don’t want to get myself into trouble,” you shrug. Jeongguk smiles and kisses the crown of your head.

“Getting into trouble is my job, dear, not yours.” He faces the bartender and slides the drink, “A round of bourbon after the dance, please.”

“What kind, sir?”

Jeongguk hums, then clicks his tongue, “Try the Brothers’ Bond, I heard you just had it imported.”

The bartender nods, “Certainly, sir.”

Jeongguk nods and turns his attention back towards you, right as the young bartender hurries to find clean glasses for the happy couple. Jeongguk turns to your eyes and smiles at the raised eyebrows he sees, and pulls you further towards him as the orchestra finishes their latest piece.

“Isn’t that the bourbon that the Salvatore brothers made?” Jeongguk asks, feigning an innocence and a forgetfulness for the time you brought it up to his face a few weeks ago. You say nothing besides shaking your head, turning towards the crowd as it slightly thins, just as the orchestra calls it for a few seconds, and a song on the speakers takes its place.

It’s just the first few opening chords but Jeongguk clearly is familiar. He sighs loudly, audibly with an “ah” and then tucks himself closer to you.

“Love this song,” he states. “Miss L/N, care to dance with me?”

You look towards the floor, and then back at him: “Yeah, sure. Is this Doris Day?”

Jeongguk seems pleased as he leads you. He takes a center position, caring little about the potential attention he may attract by taking your waist. It doesn’t stop him from doing so, a smile in your hair as he begins the dance.

“Glad you know it,” Jeongguk replies. “I spent a lot of time with my Aunt when I was younger. She loved this song.”

You hum quietly, “She has good taste. I think this song is in that one Tonya Harding movie.”

“Probably,” he scoffs, kissing your hair again and curling an arm tighter around your middle. He is certainly attracting unwanted eyes. In a metaphorical perspective, this is your first dance. Might be your only dance, but Jeongguk’s not trying to wish away the moment, not just yet.

(15) Calming them down when they have a bad dream.

Bad dream. Not you. Tonight, Jeongguk is a victim.

He shoots himself awake before you have a time to sit up on your elbows, and he pants loudly, searching around the mattress for a weapon but instead, he finds your hands. Jeongguk jumps.

“It’s just me,” you tell him breathlessly, staring at his wide and wild eyes. He gasps, like he forgot you were even there, but calms when he scurries to take your hand in his own.

Jeongguk hates to feel like he needs help, but tonight, he seeks you first. He slides his hands around yours and finds his grip, remembering where and who and presses a kiss to your hand as you lift it to his face.

“Sorry,” he apologises, “bad dream. I’m gonna-”

“It’s okay,” you assure him quietly, now sitting upright. “You never have to say sorry, okay? It’s okay.”

“Mhm,” he agrees half-heartedly. “I’m gonna….get a drink, or something.”

He rises from the bed and quite literally stumbles to the door, coughing the dryness from his throat as he makes his way to the kitchen. From the bed you sit and watch him leave, knowing from routine that when he comes back, he’ll lie awake, stoney, and won’t rest until the morning. He won’t sleep for the remainder of the night, and he’ll sleep in the office.

Jeongguk never talks of his nightmares. He never tells you about the recurring dreams of his past, his past lovers or friends or family. You know that the dreams must be so bad that he pretends to sleep to keep you from worrying.

He never tells you that he gets them most when you sleep over, because the more aware he is of you beside him, the more he dreams of losing you.

(16) Having a tickle fight until you’re breathless.

There was no contract for your arrangement with Jeongguk. You were part of a very complicated sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, and there were never really any rules to it. You could fall in love with him all you wanted, but all Jeongguk had made clear from the first date was that he didn’t fall easily, and wasn’t seeing you to fall in love. If you fell for him, he didn’t really care. He’d never fall back. (Right?)

Despite there being no rules, you still always felt like taking photos with Jeongguk often felt like a breach of contract, like breaking the rules. Jeongguk had already shown you off to the world of Mafia and crime at the Somber-Rain Ball, but yet you were afraid to take a photo for your own gallery.

There was one, however, that Jeongguk had taken himself and sent to you when he was on a trip in Athens. It was a slightly dark and blurry photograph, from early when you two had met and Jeongguk felt like he had to get you to stay sometimes by playing the role of a lover. In the photo, his fingers are ghosting at your sides, his face is scrunched and in a smile and you’re rolling around on the covers. It’s a live photo, so it moves for a few seconds.

Jeongguk had made you laugh almost to the point of tears, and you can probably still remember the feeling of knots in your stomach, your voice threatening to pee on his bed if he didn’t pack it in. He stopped, reluctantly. He didn’t want to see you pee. He didn’t want you to cry, either.

Back then, he had been generous to avoid tears. (What changed?)

(17) Folding their clean laundry and putting it away.

It’s been a long day. That was obvious by the way Jeongguk called you at two, and didn’t even want to do anything once you got here. Just got home. Are you free, maybe? Like an idiot, you came.

His place was a sight for sore eyes; by the front door, he hadn’t even taken off his shoes, and a pile of cluster and mess led a trail to his bedroom. You stood awkwardly in the doorway, staring at the way he lay with his face down on the covers, feet hanging off the bed stiffly, the curtains drawn, city blaring, TV on a quite volume relaying the emergency call made to the police this morning about the death of Cho Minsu, one of Seoul’s most controversial politicians.

For a few minutes, you remain in the doorway and he remains unmoved.

“...and, although the call made to the police department this morning was made anonymously, the leader of the police department, Choi Seungkwan, seems to believe that the call was made by at least one of the rumoured underground organisations within this city. Just last week, the Twin Tiger Mafia were making headlines after a fire was caused in the center of Seoul, but there have been no confirmations from the police at this time, nor has a statement been issued by the President. One witness said it was the work of one man, which leads the authorities to believe that this is the involvement of a third party.”

Jeongguk appears glum by the news but doesn’t switch it off. As he wallows in his own self despair, you turn back towards the main section of his home and take in the mess. There’s a smashed frame on the floor, and the kitchen is disgustingly overcrowded with dishes, and ashtrays that are like mountains. The living room is cold and empty and clothes hang over the back of his couch. Here, you find not only his clothes from the night before but also the suit from the ball, as well as underwear you know isn’t yours.

Quietly, and without a fuss, you reach for the unknown underwear and with your hand tucked underneath one of his clothes, you scoop them up and toss them into the washer in the kitchen. The ashtray is cleaned, the dishes are put in the dishwasher, and the curtains are drawn. Jeongguk must be asleep by the time you come into his bedroom, carrying the clothes you folded for him to set away in his cupboards.

This will be the second time you have cried in his bedroom while he was sleeping, and as he sleeps, peaceful and perhaps even remorseful, you return back to the front door and slip into your shoes.

(18) Sharing a soft smile across a crowded room.

You dream of him.

It’s the night of the ball. As you’re in the arms of Taehyung, stuck in a dance that will make you look less like a trophy wife for Jeongguk, the man himself is stuck in a conversation near the bar. Probably halfway through the waltz, you manage to lock his gaze. It’s like a movie, where the characters meet in slow motion, and everything seems to be slower and more passionate. All he does is smile, so gently and softly that it doesn’t even look like him.

It’s gone and he’s back to a straight face in conversation before you know it, but it’s enough for you to dream about it. Maybe this time, you’ll add a little bit to it, and create a new story to replace the original. One where the circumstances might be different, or the song, or the man you’re with.

(19) Bringing them a plate of their favourite sliced fruit.

“...what the fuck is a ‘BARB’, again? Surely not the Barbs, right? Right?”

Slowly but surely, you may be going insane behind this computer screen. You woke up in a cold sweat to the assumption your paper was due today, only by happy surprise to figure out it’s due next week, on a totally different day. It was eight, the sun was shining, and all Jeongguk can hear as he wakes up is keys tapping away relentlessly.

He stretches his arms and moves from the bed, swinging his feet to the floor and as if he owns the place (although if he’s being technical, he does) he heads to the shower and gets himself cleaned for the day he has planned ahead. Jeongguk showers, brushes his teeth and jumps into the clothes he came here in. By the time he’s out, he has time to poke his head into your makeshift study, which used to be a laundry room before the bastard thing broke and you had it moved to the bathroom instead. You’re still working, one leg up folded and a string of swear words leaving your mouth as you stare at the blinking word document.

Jeongguk frowns, nonetheless unsurprised by your antics. Ever since you went back to school, he’s been seeing less of you. Truthfully, it’s fine; Jeongguk is more than used to being alone and he doesn’t like to spend too much time with you. Not because he doesn’t like to, but quite actually for the opposite reason. Jeongguk likes you too much that he’s afraid he’ll give more than he wants to get back. Why fall in love when he can’t afford to?

Jeongguk moves to the kitchen, opening the fridge and getting a bottle of water. Sucking his teeth, he closes the fridge and grabs two apples from the bowl near the kettle. He twists the little device he found from your drawer and removes the stalk for both, cutting shapes out of the fruit into a bowl. He tosses the utensils into the washing up bowl for you to tackle later when you inevitably procrastinate, and before he leaves to go to work, Jeongguk heads back towards where you sit and brings the bowl just in between your hands, in front of the keyboard.

You look up with alarm as he does this, frightened because he came in so silently. He smiles quickly, innocent, and leans forward to kiss you. He tastes like toothpaste.

“Morning, gotta go, though,” he says in a hurry.

Before he moves back, you lean up and steal a second kiss, “so early?”

“Mm, I have to go to work,” Jeongguk replies.

You glance at the fruit. “Did you cut this?”

“Yep. I know it’s so hard to chop fruit, but I did it all by myself,” he jokes. He kisses you a third time, “Really gotta go. Don’t call me ‘til you finish this fucking paper.”

“Like that’s ever gonna happen,” you grumble, turning to the screen with a frown. Jeongguk smiles to himself and ruffles your hair, just before he steps out of the office and leaves you in the silence, collecting his things and leaving before Taehyung threatens to put a bounty on his head for being late to work again.

(20) Washing their back/hair in the shower.

“Fuck, shower sex sucks ass.”

You turn around, almost offended. “What?”

Jeongguk laughs loudly in the comforts of his own bathroom, leaning for a shampoo off the shelf. “I’m not saying you’re bad, I’m just saying it sucks. It’s so...slippery and hard.”

“I thought you liked it,” you reply.

He shrugs.

“Then why the fuck do you insist on it,” you sigh, spinning and leaning for the bottle. He moves it away, “Don’t be stingy.”

“I’m gonna wash your hair for you,” Jeongguk explains, squirting a generous amount into his hands. “Turn back around, love when your ass is against my dick like that.”

You roll your eyes and do as he says. He’s a kidder after he fucks you. Probably a pride thing because he knows he’s done a good job. Jeongguk massages the shampoo into your hair and inhales the scent, because it’s a new seasalt fragrance he saw on Youtube when he was looking at interviews for this one super secret guy he’s after, and apparently Adblock for Safari is shitty and never blocks ads on videos.

“Smells good,” you compliment. “Buy this for your other bitches, or just for me?”

Jeongguk smirks. “Nah, they got the banana one.”

“I thought you hated that fragrance.”

“That’s why they have it and not you,” he says simply. You don’t know whether or not the reply satisfies you. For one, it tells you that you’re his favourite, but it also tells you that he is indeed fucking other girls, which is something you were never totally thrilled to accept or believe. It conflicts you, to the point where you’re silent as he washes your hair.

“What?” Jeongguk asks finally, pulling at your head and half forcing your face to him. “You mad?”

“No,” you reply. “You done with my hair?”

He lets go, “Yeah. Just rinse it out.”

You do that, staring at the little drops of water on the shower door. Jeongguk sighs and switches positions with you, staring at your shoulders as you wash the shampoo out.

“Are you really mad?” he asks.

You sigh, “I’m not mad, Jeongguk.” You peer at him, “promise.”

“Bullshit,” he exclaims, like he’s tired. “I thought you knew I saw other people.”

“I did,” you lie. “It’s fine, really. I’m not, like, judging you for it.”

“Why’s it feel like you kind of are?” Jeongguk asks in response.

You shrug, “You tell me.”

The bathroom’s cold as the shower switches off and Jeongguk leaves first, stepping into the living room with the towel around his waist as you get dressed into a gown in the bathroom.

He looks over his shoulder at you as you exit, turning off the light and looking for your clothes around the room. He tugs, sick and frowning, and so he slowly moves for you across the bedroom. As you’re looking down at your clothes curled up on the chair by his drawers, Jeongguk snakes his arms around your waist from behind and slowly brings you up against him.

You close your eyes, as if to prevent yourself from saying something, and he kisses behind your ear. “I didn’t mean to make you unhappy, baby.”

“You didn’t,” you tell him.

“You know you’re a bad liar,” he mutters. “That’s why you’ll be a good journalist, you’re too good at telling the truth.” You resign, knowing he’s said this speech before. “You can be honest with me.”

You turn in his arms. “Look. I’m not mad. Mad’s not the word. Disappointed, maybe, but life is full of disappointments, you know? I mean. I don’t know...I moved across the city just to live next to you because you asked me to, I thought it could be easier for us to both get what we want out of each other and so it just...kind of sucks that you need other people? It’s like, am I not filling the gaps enough? I thought sugar daddies only had one baby at a time, I thought they were lonely old men.”

“Do I look old to you?” Jeongguk asks, missing the point. Only he knows the point. “And, look. You bring out the best in me. Just look at me.”

“I am looking at you, Guk,” you lament, “but I just see you, and this guy who wants more than he has. It’s sucky, for me, I guess.”

He thinks on that for a second. “You’re not just a baby for me, you know that, I know that, everybody knows that. I don’t even pay you when we see each other anymore, you can’t tell me that’s the same thing we expected to have a few months ago, right?”

“Right, but-”

“But, what?” he questions. “I’m here right now because I chose to be, and because being with you just feels...natural, I guess. I don’t like just calling you to fuck for five minutes because I got stressed out at work. You’re more than that to me.”

It struggles to settle in your stomach, and he stares down at you almost pleadingly. “You know that. You do, come on.”

“Baby...Look. If I was natural, and if I was more to you than a baby, then you wouldn’t need to be calling other people when you’re stressed. If you really needed me, you’d need me. It’s that simple.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, letting go, “It’s not that simple.”

“No, Guk, it is that simple,” you murmur. You smile at him, because you don’t want him to feel too bad about it. He simply stares at you, saying nothing as you look back at your clothes. “I have class tomorrow, so I’m gonna head home.”

He says nothing.

“Good night, Guk,” you call from the front door a few minutes later. He doesn’t reply, and the silence does it for him.

#took too long im sowwy #jungkook scenario #bts scenario #jeongguk scenario #jungkook x reader #bts #bangtan #bts imagine #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #bts jungkook imagine #jeongguk x reader #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook #jjk #bts mafia au #sugar daddy au #wordless

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monsieur-fancy-hat · 5 years ago

Note

How abt an AU where dazai and chuuya are in the mafia together and atsushi and akutagawa are in the ADA

Send me some characters and an AU for me to write headcanons/prompts for.

Ended up rewriting this like twice but I hope you enjoy!!

Some parts of it were taken from the canon BSD AU light novel, BEAST.

Ages during the backstory:

Akutagawa Ryuunosoke- 11 or 12

Nakajima Atsushi- 8 or 9

Akutagawa Gin- 8 or 9

Dazai Osamu- 16 or 17

Nakahara Chuuya- 16 or 17

Odasaku- 20 or 21

Let’s start with Akutagawa and Atsushi’s backstory!!

Akutagawa and Gin have a mother. She abused them, because she believed that she had to work three times harder to take care of them as she was a single mom. She also hated the kids for looking so eeriely like the fathers (cause half-siblings).

So after a while, Akutagawa and Gin fun away from home. They take as much cash as they feel comfortable with, take important belongings (weapons), a coat given to Akutagawa by his father, and other necessities.

The end up in the slums for a while, before an orphanage takes them in. They’re far away enough from their mother that it’s pretty much safe. But the orphanage learns about the mother and stuff. And they decide that maybe they should go into the foster care system? The orphanage isn’t sure right now, so they just let the kids stay.

So Akutagawa and Gin stay at the orphanage. They’re kinda loners, cause they don’t talk to people besides themselves. Some kids believe that Gin is mute (so they make fun of her) and Akutagawa -even at the delicate age of 12- has a death glare that makes grown adults run. So he uses it o the bullies. And if he’s not around... well, Gin has her way of taking care of things (stabby stabby).

But one day, this mysterious guy talks to Akutagawa. This mysterious man starts talking ‘nonsense’ about special powers and stuff. He also explains that Akutagawa might have some.

Akutagawa doesn’t believe the mysterious guy.

But a week later Gin was cornered in a alley by a college kid, who was trying to do.... non-consenting inappropriate things to her. And Gin, being Gin, had a knife out and was about to stabby stabby, when this random kid jumps on the college dude.

And he starts trying to hang onto the college guy by his neck and yelling for help

And Gin is just stand there wondering what the heck is going on

The orphanage staff rush into the alley to see a white-haired kid biting a college dude (who is still trying to shake him off) and a little girl, who kinda looks like a ninja, slipping what they think looks like a knife into a pocket.

They bring the police to arrest the college dude.

Everyone is wondering why he has cat-like scratches on his back and tiger bites on his neck.

Gin is interested by the white haired kid (which, you know, Atsushi) and brings him to join her tiny friend group.

Akutagawa, not a huge fan of him...

And apparently, neither are the orphanage staff.

Atsushi’s 8 or 9, Gin is 8 or 9, and Akutagawa is around 12.

Akutagawa and Gin get the least abused by the staff, cause they are great at not getting into trouble.

I mean, Gin was scolded a couple times for the incidents (“You shouldn’t have run off on your own! And if you’re gonna run away, then don’t come back!!”). But that’s pretty much it.

Atsushi, on the other hand.... let’s just say that the staff have some problems with him.

Gin (and sometimes Akutagawa) usually patch Atsushi up though, so he’s not alone!

They become decently good friends. Woohoo!

But Akutagawa starts thinking that Atsushi is secretly a tiger. Cause bite marks. Also cause he heard rumors that there was a white tiger around the orphanage grounds.

So he meets up with the mysterious guy, and tries to get some answers. Cause he wouldn’t want Gin to be hanging out with someone who could hurt her. That’s a no-no.

Sadly, mysterious guy hasn’t heard about this either. So... oof.

So one night, Akutagawa gets waken up by something crashing outside.

He puts on his coat and decides to go check it out, correctly thinking it’s the tiger.

Atsushi-tiger (he’s a baby tiger, just so ya know), seeing Akutagawa, goes to attack him.

And Akutagawa hears someone shout “Use your ability!!”

Akutagawa is kinda confused, and kinda angry, so he just says the first thing that comes to mind (He remembers that when he was younger, really really young, his father would show him how he sewed cloth together. How many shades of black you could use, and all the different styles. Mr. Akutagawa showed his son one of his favorite pieces, a black coat. He named it Rashomon. Cause I need this story to make a bit of sense.)

“RASHOUMON!”

Boom

Parts of his coat fly towards the tiger, trapping him.

But it can’t hold him for long, and Atsushi springs right back at him.

But mystery guy comes in the middle of them, and activates his ability.

“No longer human.”

In a flash of white light, Atsushi is found on one side, laying face-down bottom-up on the floor.

Akutagawa was standing on the other side.

Mystery guy offered Akutagawa a place to belong. A place to go home to. He even said Gin & Atsushi could come, if Akutagawa wanted.

And Akutagawa doesn’t know what to think.

Thankfully, he doesn’t have to, cause ANOTHER MYSTERY GUY COMES OVER

He has dark red hair, and a beige trench coat.

And he seems to recognize mystery guy #1.

“Dazai, is that you?” “Oh! Hi there Oda! Isn’t this a surprise. I’ll be taking the kids and leaving now, if you don’t mind!”

Yup. It’s Dazai and Oda!

Also, FYI, Oda does mind. Cause Dazai left the A.D.A. a couple months ago and no one has had any contact with him ever since.

Oda is upset and wants Dazai to come back. And Dazai... doesn’t give a damn.

They have a standoff-staredown.

And while they do that, Akutagawa goes over to Atsushi to check if he’s alive and okay.

Dazai and Oda fight, but Dazai can’t bring himself to kill Oda and leaves alone.

Which leaves Oda with an uncounsious Atsushi and a tired Akutagawa.

Oda decides that he should take these kids in. So he goes to the orphanage the next day and adopts Atsushi.

And Atsushi is sad cause he thinks he’ll be separated from Gin and Akutagawa.

Which is oof.

But Oda ends up fostering the Akutagawa’s.

So he just ends up with 3 more kids. Woohoo!! And the other kids too, but they’re all younger than them (3-4 at the time).

So Oda has his hands VERY full. Too nice.

He brings them to the A.D.A.

And Kunikida scolds Oda cause “You were supposed to be looking for that bandaged idiot! Not going around taking in more kids!!”.

But Oda interrupts him and says, “I talked to Dazai.”

And everyone goes quiet for a minute. Cause if Oda spoke to Dazai and he still won’t come back, it’s over.

Dazai has defected from the Armed Dectetive Agency.

Oda spends his time training Atsushi and Akutagawa. They’re both young and a bit confused about what’s going on (“What the... I’M A TIGER?!” “Yes, Jinko, we know.”)

But they all get along quite well, so yay!

The trio grow up together, and they eventually become official members of the A.D.A. Gin is an assistant.

She, Naomi, and Haruno become friends. Gin is still closest to Atsushi though.

And that’s their [back]story.

But now... it’s time for Dazai’s!

So, Dazai & Oda went to school together. Dazai had a not-so-great home life, so moved away at 16.

He lived by himself for a month or two, living off weird part-time jobs. Due to his smarts, he managed to skip two grades. So he’s a freshman in college. I think.

And Oda is in his third year of college.

Dazai lived at the school dorms, cause he got a full-ride scholarship. Cause smart.

Dazai has known about his powers for a while. Some weird doctor guy went to him and tried to get him to join some mafia thing, but Oda advises him to not.

So he doesn’t. But he is interested.

Dazai & Oda end up in the A.D.A.

And Oda has a great time there. He likes the people. He has fun. It’s great.

But Dazai... nope. He hates it. He can’t suicide attempt without someone being there to stop him, he can’t wear bandages without being sent to Yosano to get a check up, he can’t even be gone for a day without being chased down by Kunikida or Oda, wondering where the he’ll he’s been.

Dazai is bored and sick of the A.D.A.

So he leaves.

After a huge argument with Oda, Dazai leaves. And Mori, predicting this would happen, appeared to say “I told you so.”

And so Dazai, at the young age of 16, is taken in by the Port Mafia.

And he’s pretty good at it too!

He loves playing mind games and doing interrogations and killing people who NEVER SEE IT COMING~ (sorry, wrong fandom-) and just being evil~

A couple months later, he’s on track to become a executive. He’s already a sub-executive under Kouyou.

But then, Fifteen (Well, it’s more like Sixteen...) happens

And Dazai meets the cutest redhead he’s ever seen in his life.

Also Dazai is a kinky man has a thing for gloves.

ALSO MOTORCYCLE & CHUUYA

So of course Dazai is in love intrigued by the tiny sixteen year old.

“What the f*ck I’m still growing!!”

“Sureeeeeee-”

“F*ck off.”

“So creative, Chuu~”

“I will torture you until you die from the pain and then I’ll burn you and chop up your ashes and scatter them in the sea so that there’s no way you can come back.”

“Oh. Sounds like fun!! I mean, excluding the pain part, I’d love to die with you~”

“...why are you like this?”

Since Mori is a sadist and Dazai, a masochist, Chuuya and Dazai become partners.

“Please NO.”

“Please yes~”

And they were roommates.

oH mY gOd thEy wEre rOommAteS

[cough cough] ANYWAYS

Chuuya and Dazai become partners. They murder people.

Dazai thinks it’s fun, and Chuuya can’t help but go along with Dazai’s shenanigans. Chuuya is very in love annoyed.

The two become a feared duo, but some who know them personally (Kouyou, Mori, & Hirotsu) know that they’re really just lovestruck teens.

It’s really cute.

And que the next backstory!

So. Chuuya’s backstory. I tried making up a new one for him, but I didn’t want to diverge too much from canon, so his is pretty much the same.

Now, the plot. Well, it’s more somewhat connected headcanons that plot, so... oof. The backstories all happened 10 years ago, so everyone is 10 years older than they were before.

Ages:

Atsushi- 18-19

Akutagawa- 21-22

Gin- 18-19

Dazai- 26-17

Chuuya- 26-27

Oda- 30-31

So. Atsushi is going grocery shopping, yeah?

And Chuuya is also grocery shopping, yeah?

And they bump into each other. And Atsushi doesn’t recognize him, but Chuuya remembers from one of Dazai’s drunk ramblings about trying to recruit some white tiger kid and a black coat?

Either way, Chuuya doesn’t really care. But he decides to tell Dazai once he’s home.

But only after he finished shopping for some fresh, non-canned crab.

But as he’s picking out a crab, the grocery store gets attacked by some ability users.

Oof.

And Chuuya doesn’t want to intervene (and risk his identity/secrecy to the public, who have limited knowledge of ability users).

But white-tiger Atsushi just goes flying towards one of the robbers.

And Chuuya knows.

So obviously, he tells Dazai. And Dazai, being Dazai, pretends he doesn’t remember.

Later, he goes to visit the A.D.A.

To see his ‘replacements’.

But he’s super chill about it.

And by ‘chill’, I mean smiley-evil. Like when he was talking to Mori during the A.D.A. & P.M. meeting (in canon).

Atsushi and Akutagawa are a mix of confused and worried.

And Akutagawa is lowkey wondering why the heck this random guy, who looks suspiciously familiar.

And ohhhh it’s that guy who tried to kidnap him a few years ago!

Wait. It’s the guy who tried to kidnap him a few years ago.

And Akutagawa takes Atsushi and they leave the A.D.A. building.

They end up on a we’re-denying-that-this-is-a-date-but-it-really-is.

But like they’re obviously lowkey dating, so yeah-

Like come on, Gin has been shipping this since she was like 9.

Also Dazai (after getting in a fight with with Oda, again oof), on his way home, he sees Atsushi & Akutagawa on the way back, and thinks of his boyf riend~~

And Dazai ships it SO HARD!!

But he first must go home to Chuu~

And that’s all I can think of right now. Also I really wanna get this posted cause it’s super late. I also gotta start the others. ;-;

HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!! ♥️

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noona-la-la-la · 5 years ago

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Noona, do you have any bad interview experience to share? I went to an interview today. Once I entered the room, before I sat down the interviewer already asked me to start introducing myself & that she’s busy so I need to make this quick 😐 guess what I actually waited 30 mins because the previous interviews overran The whole time she was keeping a straight face and talking in monotone, also does not show interests in my work (I’m a graphic designer) 1/2

She asked why did I quit my last job so I explained that because there wasn’t a career path and she immediately goes “Same here!” I explained to her that I’m well aware of it but I’m interested in working for a museum. At the end, she showed me 5 exhibition leaflets they’ve done in the past and asked me what I like about them. Tbh I started criticizing the designs in my head the minute I started looking at them (because of my designer instinct lol)

All I could think about was things I didn’t like about the designs When she saw me quickly flipped through all 5 leaflets, she literally says - are you done? Are you ready to talk about it? (in a rude manner) I was like - hmm am I supposed to talk about what I like? And she says I can also say things that I didn’t like LOL so I started criticizing about one of the leaflets, I listed a few points and she suddenly goes - Then what do you like about them!? 🤡

After the interview,I looked up her name on google I found out she’s a senior designer so I assume she approved those leaflet designs even if it may not be designed by her She might be pissed that I’m criticizing her works 😂 I feel so dumb cause she simply looks like an old housewife to me I thought she’s some supervisor who doesn’t know design at all LOL Im always being honest at interviews and sometimes it’s hard to filter what I say when I’m unprepared😅 I need help

1. That company doesn’t deserve you (or anyone else) if they are going to treat the people who interview with them that poorly. Interviews are a two way street -- meaning while they are interviewing you to see if you fit, you should also be interviewing them to make sure this is a place you would really want to work. Would you really want a woman who was so inconsiderate to a job candidate to become your boss?

2. Pretty much everyone has blown an interview at some point or another. It happens and being unprepared for the question is one of the main reasons people give less than stellar answers. That’s okay. So consider this practice and think about what might have been a better way to answer that question. Next time someone asks you something similar, you’ll be prepared.

As for my own bad interview stories? Oh, man, I have MANY stories I could tell. Also, I’ve often thought that if I ever wrote a book for money - it would be about interviewing. I have tremendous experience in this area.

To keep it manageable - I’ll put the rest of my thoughts under the cut.

How about the time I interviewed for a job and the recruiter was describing some of the new business practices and technologies they were adopting and I said, “I think it’s great that Company A is embracing these new, progressive approaches to business problems. So many of the companies I’ve interviewed with rely on old-fashioned approaches because they are comfortable with the status quo.” AND SHE FLIPPED OUT ON ME! She said things like “What’s wrong with being old-fashioned? This company was based on old fashioned principals like hard work and loyalty. Our founder believed in doing things the old fashioned way!”

Or the time I went in for an interview with Company B, met with a couple people, was there for almost 90 minutes and then they excused themselves. They left me alone in the interview room when all of a sudden some other guy comes in and says he is the Director of Sales and that the previous interviewers thought he should talk to me because of my background. Apparently they thought that I might be a good fit for a job on his team ( a job that I didn’t apply for) . So this guy proceeds to start interviewing me for a completely different role and I don’t even understand what it is. No one is even bothering to ask me if I’m interested in doing sales (I’m not, FYI) and I’m completely unprepared. He and I spoke for maybe another 40 minutes when the original interviewer/hiring manager comes into the room and asks to speak to the Sales Director. They excuse themselves and go out into the hallway to talk AND I CAN HEAR THEM. The original hiring manager asks the Sales Director why he’s wasting his time talking to me because the original interviewers already decided that they don’t like me and don’t want to hire me. So the Sales Director pops back into the room to grab his notebook and says to be that an “emergency” came up and he has to go. So I’m alone again, for maybe 10 minutes when the receptionist opens the door, pops her head in to say the hiring manager to her to tell me “That you can leave now” and then she pops back out and is gone. I gather my stuff and walk out of the interview room. It’s like 6:30pm on a Friday, the building is now empty, it’s a huge office building and everything looks the same and I’m completely lost because it was a number of twists and turns when they brought me to the interview room and I end up wandering around this empty office for a while until I stumble upon the lobby. The receptionist is already gone and a security guard had to unlock the door to let me out.

Or how about the time that I interviewed with Company C and the interviewer asked me a question about the most creative way I’ve ever solved a specific type of business problem. She really emphasized the “creative” part of the question, so I knew she wanted something way out of the box. Unfortunately, I wasn’t really prepared for that, so I started to tell her the first thing that came to my mind... and it was a doozy! I start telling her this story which includes hiring a bunch of strippers and half way through telling her this completely inappropriate story, I realize that I don’t know how to end it because in real life things did not turn out well and included people transporting controlled substances across state lines, some minor theft, and a few people arrested for prostitution. The moral of the story was that not all creative ideas are good ideas. Not exactly what the hiring manager was looking for and needless to say, I didn’t get the job.

So these were all terrible experiences - some my fault, some there fault. I’ve got dozens more examples of interviews gone bad. It happens to everyone.

But these were also good learning experiences. Every time an interview goes badly, I walk away a little more knowledgeable and a little more competent at interviewing. I just recently told a relative of mine who is looking for a new job that he should apply for a few jobs that he doesn’t really want just for the interviewing practice. Because if you haven’t done interviews in a while, you can assume that the first few might be a bit awkward as you work out how to present yourself and your experience in the best way. So it’s better to do a few interviews with companies where you won’t care if they don’t hire you - just to get the practice in. You don’t want to turn yourself inside out to try to fit what you think a company wants, you still need to be your natural self. But there are ways for all of us to make our natural selves come across as the more professional and business savvy version of who we are. But that comes with practice -- and lord knows, I’ve been in the business world for what feels like 10 million years now and I’m still learning how to be the better and more professional version of me every day.

Also, if you’ve read this far... I have an epilogue on those three bad interviews:

Company A turned out to be too old fashioned after all. Their business changes didn’t really take effect the way they wanted them to and now it’s become such a miserable place to work, they are losing talent rapidly. How do I know? I have hired multiple people from that buisness - they are very talented and all tell me the same horror stories of what it was like to work there. So thank god I didn’t get that job.

Company B went bankrupt. The original hiring manager, who treated me so unprofessionally eventually went on to be a vice president at a service company who is a vendor to the place I work now. She was terrible at her job and we just fired her and her company from ever doing business with my current employer ever again.

And company C? I didn’t get job after telling them my awful stripper story. However, a few years later, I applied for a job with them again... and they are my current employer. They work me like a dog, but I’m generally happy with my workplace and my coworkers, I’ve been promoted once already and I’m well compensated and treated with respect.

The moral of this story... karma is a bitch and not every lost opportunity is lost forever.

Good luck with your job search!

#advice and opinions #job advice #interview advice #omg this is long!#blah blah blah #Anonymous

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atopearth · 6 years ago

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Liar! Uncover the Truth Part 3 - Office Deception Spin-Off

New series (?)!! Let’s hope it’s interesting~ Prologue plays out pretty similarly to the first one where the heroine discovers that her boyfriend is cheating on her and so she kicks him to the curb. Crappy thing is that he cheated on her with her best friend at work, who is actually a bitch that likes to steal people’s boyfriends, so yeah that sucks. And even though she successfully catches them with the evidence, she still gets the losing end of the stick since the girl is the daughter of some chief executive or whatever he was, so the heroine ends up being shoved off into a crappy team as their team leader so that they can get her to mess up and then force her to quit. Cool thing is the janitor giving her a mop divination saying that 9 of them will be crappy co-workers but one of them will be a lifelong work partner I guess hahaha. Now it’s gender neutral! We’ll see who is the best co-worker!

1st Liar Personally, I like Keisuke’s and Mayu’s looks the most but I think Kohei might be a cool guy hahaha. I feel like this Twinkle Twinkle that leaks confidential info (their rejected Olympic emblem design), complains about the heroine and other stuff is probably Shiori, she seems pretty stupid and irrational tbh. She’s also quite rude, every time the heroine tells her to do something, she always tries to delay it somehow with a joke or whatever and it’s so obvious that she’s being disrespectful with her. Otherwise, Yusei is nice to give her a book on leadership and Guy seems quite dedicated to drawing designs.

Honestly, I think I’d die if I had to deal with someone like Shiori that leaks company info, gets caught for it, says it’s because FindFriend (Facebook I guess?) is her life and she needs all these likes etc to survive, and then even after the heroine lets her off so easily by just telling her to get rid of all the problematic posts, she’s still not repenting and is complaining about her page being blank now? Omggg, I’d kill her lol. Just wondering, but do the accusation portions not have voice acting anymore? That’s kinda saddening, I liked that :(

2nd Liar You’d think that since we’re dealing with adults, bullying and harassment shouldn’t occur but it does :( But omg though, I feel so sorry for the heroine, when she tried to present their project, her slides were replaced with porn, absolutely great… If it’s someone jealous of her this time around, then maybe it’s Chisa? Don’t feel like she really respects the heroine so… Sakurako (traitor friend) and her dad that’s the chief are so eugh, especially since the latter touched her without consent! Disgusting!

As for the person sabotaging the heroine. I find it hard to believe that even if Keisuke was a guy who felt like men are superior in life, he wouldn’t do something like this, and Chise just seems to go with her own flow or something lol. Minoru seems the most suspicious just because he tries to take over her leadership role, thinks he’s the best, tries to make it as if she’s so useless and is obviously cocky.

Wow, can’t believe Minoru was such a guy, steals people’s work, ruined someone’s career and thinks that others are so stupid compared to him, the heroine was right to demote him!

3rd Liar So.. Someone is having an office love? But eww leaving torn pantyhose on someone’s desk is pretty disgusting. Gotta admit that Daikichi seems the most sketchy, he’s way too forward and flirty. On the other hand, Yusei is so cute! I’m surprised he actually isn’t the black coffee type and actually drinks chocolate milk instead haha! I also think he’s great leader material considering how capable he is, but if he thinks supporting others is where he shines, then fair enough. He was so adorable when he admitted that he took the heroine to a fancy restaurant before because it was her, when he usually goes to dingy dirty places hahaha. I think I’m warming up to him the most right now, so I think I’d be so sad if he’s a liar later😣

Not surprised that it’s Daikichi since the others seemed to be just there to make you doubt your choice, especially Chisa lol, just because she likes to do Tai Chi with older men doesn’t mean she’s sleeping around with them lolll. Anyway, Daikichi is pretty eugh, sure, the girls are the ones who are all over him, but he accepts them, even in the most inappropriate places like the office. It’s disgusting. Lmao at the true end though, the heroine was the one who spilt coffee on his old suit and helped him pick out a new one, so really the one who pushed him into having a style change was her, and so really, she started his playboy days lollll.

4th Liar So, this time around, it’s side jobs! They’re not allowed especially after some employee created his own business and it failed and he stole money from the company to pay off his loans, so yep. So cool that Keisuke just outed Sakurako on her BS, she’s so fake🙄 In terms of employment though, I feel like Guy has the best prospects just because he’s always drawing designs, so it’s not like another skill, he can keep doing his thing at work and be honing his skills at earning money for both this and his side job imo. But then omg at Chisa lol, bringing so many products to the office and then even bringing the heroine to a party that’s introducing these products?? Sounds like a pyramid scheme lol.

Which it pretty much is.. Scary thing is that it’s brainwashed Chisa so much since all she really wanted was friends but they made her buy all these products and join in selling them etc and threaten to kick her out and not be friends with her anymore if she stopped. It’s honestly pretty depressing… The older you get, the more difficult it is to make time for friends and to make new friends, sigh… I kinda feel sorry for her.

5th Liar HAHAHA omg, when the title of the episode was the Shuto Matsuki affair, I was wondering whether it was really THAT Shuto Matsuki from the previous season and it is! Guess his soccer career is still kicking haha. Just an FYI, but the early clear bonuses have become ridiculous, I need to finish 35 episodes/tickets in 2 days, and you only get 5 free tickets a day, which means I’d need to use an extra 20 tickets to make it to the threshold. Yeah… I’d rather not read the true ends then.

Omgg, she accidentally pushed Kohei down and then called him beautiful without his glasses and her heart even thumped when he smiled hahaha. He is pretty cute though, I like him. Not surprised that someone has stolen Shuto’s watch that the heroine took off him in order to not interfere with the photos but hmmm, who could it be, who’s the crazed fan?! Reina is my guess for now haha. I didn’t think it would be Guy tbh, he doesn’t even seem to have a proper reason, he’s just into the thrill of it all which is so…boring? Pretty disappointing reveal.

6th Liar Leaking the project information to an opposing company? That’s the worst thing for an employee to do, especially when they all worked so hard on this together. Sigh, the heroine can’t catch a break. Yusei seems to know his way around ladies~ He’s a dangerous guy imo hahaha. Surprised the heroine was okay with going to Keisuke’s house to watch Office Battle and in the dark too! Lol. Anyway, super disappointed that Yusei was the spy by Daito (rival company) and he was doing it all along because he wants money and has always been a guy like that ever since he got dumped by his girlfriend that went with a rich guy. Like okaaay, just dump any morals you have for money you have no use in having now since the girl dumped you anyway so… Yeah, whatever, sigh.

I’m starting to think that May is probably the workmate that will be like her best partner at work. The president called to get rid of Kaneyama from the team and May was meeting with some guy I assumed to be her dad in the beginning, so maybe the president is her dad?

7th Liar Well…. Sending a company wide email of a photo of the heroine and her father claiming that she’s in an affair? Yeah, these guys are sure unprofessional. But wow, kidnapping the heroine, taking photos etc??? That’s so crazy weird…. Thought it was Reina, but dang didn’t think it was because she in love with the heroine and crazy obsessed with her lol, so random… Yeah didn’t like this one, didn’t think the evidence part was interestingly solved either…

8th Liar It’s cool that both Keisuke and Kohei are into the heroine, and omg when they offered their hands so that she could walk down the stairs in her heels with their support~ so cute~ But May is definitely the best to save her from that awkward situation of choosing one haha.

LOL at Kohei being a pervert that likes to listen to voices hahaha. Why are all the recent liars obsessed with the heroine in some way or another lol, so random and weird. Although I do have to admit that some voices do sound amazing hahaha.

9th Liar Aww, if it’s supposedly the President of Daito’s child doing the spy thing, I feel like it’s probably May then… But I like her so much more than Keisuke. She’s considerate, nice and fun! So sad that I was right though, all the evidence did point to her and the rest against Keisuke were so flimsy, but sigh, I don’t like Keisuke lolll. I don’t want him to be the one aiyaaa. Oh well…. I am SO SHOOK. So shocked that May is actually a guy! The scarves she wears all the time are to cover her Adams Apple!! What!!! Shocking!! I guess that’s why there’s rumours the president has a daughter or son… Wow… Still shocked. Especially when the heroine accidentally grabbed her crotch when May tried to run away lolll. Omgggg.

Omggggg that the janitor was Keisuke’s grandpa which is the CEO of the company, and so Keisuke’s dad is the president, and Keisuke has been looking for the spies all this time too, and now he’s finally got the Kaneyama father and daughter. So glad Sakurako is done. Well, now she can fully trust Keisuke now and the team has been reformed so everyone is happy lol. What a long ride.

Overall, didn’t like Office Deception as much, felt like it was a bit bland and the characters were rather boring, but I think the main problem was that their reasons for lying were so fickle and uninteresting, maybe it’s because it’s limited by an office setting. But yeah, first one was definitely much better.

#liar! uncover the truth #liar uncover the truth #liar! office deception

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bimbonaparte · 6 years ago

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Just thinking out loud about the ethics of dark fic, don’t mind me

*****TRIGGER WARNING*****

****Discussions of grooming and child abuse*****

A fic author I really enjoy made a post condemning anyone who supports a certain ship on the grounds that it’s promoting pedophilia (middle-aged man, teenage boy). They used their personal experience of being groomed when they were younger as evidence that this ship perpetuates actual harm and that anyone supporting it is a bad person.

It made me stop and think, honestly. I’ve always been of the opinion that everyone should write what they want to write, and that moral censorship is a bad business that gets real arbitrary real fast. People smarter than me have explained all the reasons someone might want to write dark!fic, so I won’t get into that. My philosophy is as simple as “don’t like, don’t read,” and keep moral judgement of authors squarely out of it. People often write about things they would never condone in real life; Gillian Flynn has never slit a man’s throat or framed anyone for murder, Haruki Murakami has never skinned anyone alive, and Shirley Jackson does not appear to have poisoned her whole family.

That said, this author clearly went through something horrific that they’re still grappling with to this day, and they put a lot of the blame for what happened to them on sexual fanfic/fanart portrayals of this relationship. That is enough to make me pause. It’s definitely enough to make me want to dig deeper into this, because if there is real risk then I maybe need to re-evaluate my long-held position on these things.

Having done some reading and organized my thoughts, here’s where I’ve landed:

What happened to this person was awful and traumatizing, and my heart absolutely goes out to them. I understand why they, personally, want nothing to do with this ship ever again. It is an intense trigger for them, and that is perfectly understandable.

Based on their description, what happened to them was also textbook grooming (link goes to a website called “protect young minds” that explains warning signs for parents, FYI).

Part of grooming behavior includes a) finding out a child’s interests and building trust by pretending to have those same interests and b) sexually desensitizing the victim through dirty jokes, talking about sex, casual touches, showing them pornography, etc.

This is the crux of the argument -- that fic/fanart depicting underage relationships is used in grooming to sexually desensitize victims. Evil people use it for evil purposes, and therefore it is Bad. And I cannot say this never happens. Clearly, it has happened.

But I’d argue that’s not because of anything inherently evil about fiction with dark themes. This list also includes several behaviors (dirty jokes, talking inappropriately about sex) that appear much more innocuous than outright porn, but that are being used for the same purpose.

The problem here is not the fact that explicit fanfic/fanart exists. The problem is not that dirty jokes exist, the problem is not that pornographic videos exist. The problem is that an adult is exposing a child to adult things that they are not ready to handle, with the goal of introducing and normalizing sexual contact.

Children are -- and should be -- generally protected against sexual or graphic content (though the advent of the internet has made that much more complicated). When you walk into the gas station, the porn magazines have opaque covers in front of them. It’s a broad societal expectation that you shouldn’t tell dirty jokes (or even just use curse words!) in front of a ten year old. Explicit websites require you to submit age verification before viewing content. In grooming, an abuser will circumvent these legal and societal protections to try and expose the victim to sex before they’re developmentally ready to deal with it. THAT is the problem, not the fact that an adult somewhere has written erotic fiction for other adults on the internet to read.

I do believe that authors have a responsibility to tag their work and use appropriate warnings whenever possible. This is something we can do better as a community! This is not just for the sake of minors in fandom, but for those dealing with trauma who want to avoid certain topics (or even those with a particular interest in reading about those topics). Tags and warnings are good for everybody.

But I do not believe that people who write fiction depicting these ships are pedophiles or even morally bad people, and I do not believe that the fiction itself is Bad.

The really unfortunate truth is that predators will use whatever tools they have available to them to try and groom their victims. In this particular case, the tools were a child’s interest in superheros, the relative anonymity of the internet, and erotic fan creations. That breaks my heart, and would no doubt break the heart of any author/artist who learned that their work had been abused in this way.

But in another situation, the tools could be completely different -- two examples that have popped up multiple times in my reading are video games and tickling. There’s nothing inherently wrong or evil about either of these things, but a predator can twist them to make them part of the grooming and desensitization process. Similarly, here’s nothing inherently wrong or evil about erotic fiction, written for adults, tagged as explicit and/or “containing adult content.” And there is definitely nothing inherently wrong or evil about the people who create it.

The question of “do people act out the things they read in fiction” (i.e. if you read about pedophilia, is it more likely to make you a pedophile, and THAT’S why ships like this are bad??) is for another day. Yes, we are all undeniably influenced by fiction and media; no, I still haven’t tried to kill and eat anybody, despite having binge watched the entirety of Santa Clarita Diet inside of a week. On the flip side, Charles Manson used Helter Skelter of all things to justify some heinous god damn murders, so overall people are a grab bag.

Sorry for the gigantic NOVEL here but I was really driven to sort out my own thought process on this. Will probably revisit later.

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castlehead · 7 years ago

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:a Not which one is right but which one is more like you Let's start now // this is a few makeshifts on the deity,

dint realize y i was gettin poor marks in college till i realized comic sans wasnt mla format for essays, but i kept on with it bc im anti establishment and my dope ass literary insights should speak for themselves.

my 'experimentation' as one nonplussed professor put it, with the font, progressively got crazier, and in the end i was doin all caps zapf wingdings mized wih herculanum

needless to say, i got my degree.. IN BEIN A BOSS.

na but yeah i got kicked out of that school. still bummin on campus actually, and probably psychotic from this ecstasy i keep taking. this guy in f comp makes his own, has a pill press nd everything.

the shoes i original got as a college present from my parents got stolen, or in any case i woke up in a snow drift next to the commons dumpster without them on, so i just wear slippers. my toes are purple. ther always feels like there is something in my teeth or throat i cannot dislodge. i am the campus transient, avoiding th. RAs and ignoring the eviction notices. like raping the willing, one cannot be evicted if one is homeless. with the help of a few friends i sold drugs to when my rents still gave me money and i was still enrolled, i alternate between various dormitory hovels, hiding out from the campus police like some ghastly dysfunctional version of anne frank.

i havent taken my pills and smell. i emaciate my already rejected body, rejected by the establishment goons, with cocaine, and remind myself of the leftover chicken carcass and neatly lined bones whose tomb was a disgusting box of dominos buffalo wings i ordred and consumed my first semester here and that remained in the same place until i abandoned that radioactive dormroom to die slowly and painfully, and metaphorically, since living quarters do not possess life. i am starting tho to wonder if i myself possess that as well or if i did once and now am but a structure, a part of the collegiate landscape, sniffed at by diligent students and attempted to get thru to by intellectual slackers, decadent addicts themselves on their way to where i am, and wooks who need someone to smoke with on a sunday 4 am and know i always keep track of what festis are goin on on campus; i receive the next round of empathy from a new stranger who maybe heard of me or has seen me around and wondered what i was still doing here.

empathy, empathy, curiosity as to the quirky insane dude fried by mdma and a shitload of adderall for no purpose bc i have no practical skills. a monotony of empathy ripping off and using for the metaphorical shit on my metaphorical ass, like swquares of toilet paper who fancy me a hobo poet in need of on top of text books i never opened, on a desk i used as a trash receptacle. and speaking of wings, i think i might be literally going into a dissociative state because all the leaves on the trees look like zapf wingdings. my clavicle is not only visible but sticks out of my body further than my chest does.

watch out for hell day today, for something godlier than god. i deliver it.

The effect I wish to give, as it always has been, is that of a truth clearly viewed, in utter horror. Gods factotum, shuffling thru abandoned files that sometime held a secret forgotten, tho no less true now, and the horror perhaps, that we forgot something so crucially, fundamentally true, and so long ago.

this work is twisted, sad, manic, strange, fluid, stilted, inappropriate, foolish, magnificent.

if god doesnt exist, neither does the version of myself with dreadlocks

. . . . . . .

one has no choice in the end but to resign oneself, and drop their head. and yet, where do they look, if one in shrinking away for the purpose of humbling hisself afore the god of anxiety, and receiving his respite, knows nothing more than but to resign? where is the clarity here? there is no clarity 'here'. it is there, and come upon in moments of fear and trembling at the dread chaos, the doubt in a heart and split in a mind.

it is there, for one is staring at the ground, awaiting an end to the necessary aversion from the sight of a higher morsel of GOD.

. . . . . . .

atheism should not be an opinion it is not the result of not believing in god it is simply living life without a thought as to a religious god. we are not reacting to religion we are IN reality just as the catholic is IN reality. saying "I don't believe in god" is like equating nothingness to a lack of everything. there is no reactive state to atheism at its purest. it is not an acknowledgment, in other words, of no god, but an acknowledgment of what is before one's eyes, this vast neutral space I defy you to say is different from the religious folks' apprehension of objects and desires, all before them, swimming in ghostly revelry or not, only figurations anyway. o this insanely divided world.

i have a secular conception of god based on my teleological hypotheses re the nature of a causa prima, causa sui. it's the definitions that need defining, not the thing with a name on it that needs explaining. physics already does that.

remove intent for the case of nihilism, and you will have what i am saying here. no case at all. no 'response' so to speak. atheism can be evangelical

im not an evangelical atheist because what i believe changes based on the day but is always just as real haha. belief is tenuous. i go by that

it's the definitions that need defining, not the thing that needs explaining.

my conception of god is that it is the only thing that does not exist. so in a way, yes, i am an atheist.

'God' as defined in its easiest terms, is an ultimate uniquity. like, an outstanding substance. anyway, idk. at the end of the day idk haha

Kant's own a priori notional form of perception comes to mind. in front of our eyes is what is real. the observer initiates the ocular nerve, and the thing or situation burns into the receiving blankness of the mind.

like, have we reaped all the possible benefits of fire by now? surely the wails of prometheus fall not on deaf ears!

. . . . . . .

twisted, sad, manic, strange, fluid, stilted, inappropriate, foolish, magnificent.

. . . . . . .

green tortilla chips my ass. he said with no attempt at disguising incredulity, wiping the tears from his brow.

. . . . . . .

whereas god is all, i am only myself, knowledgeable of only myself; therefore, unless god is simultaneously aware of being myself alone along with being everything, and of that everything knowledgeable of each and every thing as if god were only that thing, i am then let in on an experience of individuality that god is unaware of.

this is a question of how to be the most purely omniscient, omnipotent, etc. that is the question that our conception of god is asking.

corollary: if in the case of being simultaneously the experience i have of myself, and being all, then it is quite logical to say that our experience in life is in fact a godly experience, since i, too, would be unaware of being all, as goes the route of any human perception of things.

when i say i am only aware of myself i mean it in ontological terms, fyi -and also in, i will admit, somewhat absolutist terms. of course as people, psychologically, we can put ourselves in another's shoes, step outside of our comfort zone, change an opinion [or five] and every person is an environmental sponge -we can adopt varying personality traits from the culture we is born into etc. -this argument presupposes an absolute view, kinda,- in that, IF this were how it went, it wld go such nd such -this statement of mine does not examine a phenomenological or spiritual connection between people but examines the relativity and possible logical gaps in -the idea, or notion if you prefer- of omniscience.- there is only theory haha <#

we create our gods but they exist as much as we do

. . . . . . .

turn your back, find yourself faceless, at least, to someone.

. . . . . . .

wondering if I got a problm w. th prostate bc sometimes when I feel a shit coming I piss n it goes away. Don't change much re bathroom routine tho since I already sit down wen I pee in the first place, and according to my second ex wife this means I am a lazy fat whore

interested in the concept of the devout as being the truest sceptics.

. . . . . . .

Thought has the coherence of being but is not being, i.e. beginning and ending in our living heads as something not itself alive, but a mere transfer of connection willed consciously to create that inert unbreathing grand called the magnificent bullshit, the idea.

the quiet horror of the mundane dailyness.

. . . . . . .

i think something elitist and say within, Well that was elitist wasnt it, dan. then pat myself on the back at my ability to check my arrogance, specifically when i see the thought thru the lens of something a cousin of mine with generally liberal views and empathy who fishes in alaska for money and lives off the grid would remark to himself. then, i get slightly nauseated after mentally leafing thru all the times i have been proud of mentally criticizing myself for something in the first place outwardly bad. and there goes on the circular drudge of ugliness, not evaded outright, but felt the pangs of guilt in the says within, that say me again and again in my inertial brood, of void i would hope, of searching for clarity i wish, but that is probably more like a moralizing, limited gauge, like feeling better about something ugly that is yr fault by feeling bad about it for a little so you can get that part over with without the possibility of another harder wave of guilt for not feeling bad at all about the ugly thing, and therewith reacting with doubts to doubtful reactions, until yr whole value system is a wilderness of mirrors.

. . . . . . .

im a perfectionist when it comes to sensation. the beautiful feeling must be experienced in the proper setting that would maximize its potential. i think this is y i used to do lots of drugs, which by nature are the commodification of sensations. probably also y i was super miserable doing them and kept doing them despite that. there is a certain ring of the hoarder or magpie in this perfectionism that wants to connect physicality with ego that i see as well in the idea of paying money to literally feel specific sensations; equally, the result of this on the psyche is as tenuous here as with the futile idea of thinking the perfect setting for doing drugs is always at hand, which it rarely is, or at the least there is something to mar the perfect dream, that dragon, that pursuit of happiness, life, and liberty via thinking on how best situate the chains to, in essence, 'maximize' your mobility, but nathless remaining held in doom. the drug world, uh, is itself volatile; perfectionism and volatility dont jive so well, usually. and so on. hm. hegh.

heh.

. . . . . . .

I only like Eminem rap and that one NWA song like hell naw the rest is garbage now let me go back to my trailer in the woods where I live in harmony with the Elves who have seemed to appear more frequently now that I have that bathtub meth dungeon set up in my basement where skynerd plays ceaselessly from an unlocatable place. My hero is Ed Gein. But I don't do the lampshade thing. I do however have a human skull I bought from my buddy who owns a war relics and parephernalia shop, he had to go in the back to get it and lock the store so nobodys would come snoop. Turns out some folks comed snoop to see if he figured any more available and he got mad at me for blabbing, an I said, Giles, ya know I ain't blabbing, but he dint believe it, an now we just kinder avoid each other at the local NA meetin. People tryn cop there and some do and theys go behind the water tower tagitit, I int do that part tho, a tad fucked up I mean, these people try n getting clean an all, why make it harder n it eyis? But if y'all wanit I get it tiya, come by and share a chaw almighty God. Gib ye a gude price too. *PATOOEY* I. Uh am sober myself. 20 yrs. but damn ye ye make a buck more n working garbage detail selling home cooked meth I reckon ye. Don't touch the stuff I don't anymore after I heard this queer fella from out a town got his arm chopped off when he mainlined eyit. Tryn I guess do some sex stuff and a days travel from the city. City folk don't know it's diffeRent strength down here's doe. I reckon. *MEDITATIVE PATOOEY* yes sirn. Huhm.

. . . . . . .

The thing abt the Sex Pistols is, tho they engineered the punk genre immeasurably, they seem to no longer be in the cultural conversation, except within factions of grey haired aficionados. Even the more radio friendly The Clash seems notably absent in this regard. Has punk developed beyond its early stages, or is punk, being the genre that it is, dependent on whatever the moments youth zeitgeist is? punk is visceral because it is held in time this way. first gen punk, cbgbs headliners of ago and ago, do not exert these days the same walbreaking feel, bc I think there's so much virtuosic music being made today that the path of what will develop is harder to determine. Musicians in throes break down walls without batting an eye. Any musical iconoclasm expressed in the music of the past, then, especially to the contemporary ear, is bound to seem bathetic. Like microaggressions as expressions of racism, our society's opening of mind leads to a closed mind, as one can justify not being racist by simply saying they do not think they are better than marginalized peoples, have never done anything racist, think we are all equal, are not clansmen lol. what ruffles feathers is less obvious, in turn, bc expressions of the ersatz new and the real new are harder and harder to determine. The surplus of media, ideas, and opinions, I think, will lead us to a place where "cultural norm" becomes an oxymoron, hopefully. But then, what else will be left to invigorate, if so much is already so much done out, already? Does there exist a perspective, artistic or no, that is not liable to become passé? Or even some thought never thought before? I know there is, I for one know there is, because as a poet I see much to fix, and much that I work to do bc I see it nowhere else; and this most crucially is not an impression of mine based on today's lit but every days lit there has ever been, throughout history. Just I can literally not even yo, yo

. . . . . . .

Mathsmatics can transcend thru the grandeur of its implications but not thru the means towards said implications; philo can do the same, but it's better penchant is for transcending thru means to electrify a mundane conclusion or give a system of reason to a general thought-trope such as, "reality is an illusion" or whichever flat idea u prefer to follow. Since it is pure logos, philo differs from math in being more readily universal; tho the applications of math are more readilly useful than the positives that come with mental clarity at the understanding an achieved unified system. Poetry is all means, so then must dazzle, and needs no evidence, conclusion, or even subject, but need only sway with beauty. Therein is the problem with the existential issue of selfhood. Reductive analysis of self becomes psych, and the only pure philo to be had in selfhoods exegesis is not to be found in anything like a system of proofs or syllogisms, etc. selfhood, as Kierkegaard recognized, is poetic bc it exacerbates reality, exhausts all of it. it is individual, and so copious a thing has no one forged path to what it is, or even any path at all, to what it is, since like Pascals God the self is a circle whose point is everywhere and circumference nowhere. Figuring out a reality via a teleology or thru logic is nicer to attempts at systems. But individual self is too mucky for any proof to say it exists; the murkiness shines, as it always does, when the means are prevalent, since the means, being held moment to moment, rely on nothing but expose a variety of paths to more variety. Philo then is better at least than Math for finding out something obfuscated, but nothing but poetry can so deeply probe the self, as its humility is lain in the respect for a complete dissembling of systems.

. . . . . . .

the iconic ny jewish deli sandwich is in essence a robust mountain of roast beef held feebly between two unnecessary pieces of sad, chickenshit marble rye

the roast beef, of course, wld be kosher.

I create; I waste. Yet nothing is perfect, nothing, nothing. Not even dignity.

#prose #collage #frammenti #zibaldone #makeshift #god #god n stuff #prowse #writing

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startofamoment · 8 years ago

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B99 + Tinder AU: in which Jake and Amy match on Tinder. → set pre-show/early season one, written after I impulsively downloaded Tinder instead of working on my other AU in progress

In a moment of insanity and slight tipsiness, she lets Kylie download Tinder on her phone. (”Amy, what do you want your Bio to say?” “Ooh, how about how I’m in a nationally-ranked trivia team?” “Nope, none of that.”)

In a moment of four-drink-drunkenness, she swipes right on Jake Peralta.

She wakes up on Saturday morning with her mouth dry and her head pounding. Groaning, Amy lifts one hand to shield her eyes from the way-too-bright light streaming in through the curtains. With her other hand, she gropes blindly for her phone on the bedside table. When she doesn’t find it immediately, she drags herself out of bed and makes her way toward the kitchen.

She gets herself a glass of water and fishes her phone out of her purse, which was on the floor just a few paces away from the messy heap of fabric that was her coat and scarf.

She opens her phone, and her eyebrows scrunch together at the notification on the screen: “Congratulations! You have a new match!”

Her eyes flicker to the icon accompanying the message. The small red flame brings back hazy memories of the night before - Kylie taking her phone hostage and downloading the app, Kylie setting up her profile, the two of them cracking up while swiping left and right for an hour.

She sips from her glass and pulls up the app with a sigh. She taps the screen a few times to check her matches and messages, bracing herself for anything inappropriate and praying she didn’t send out anything too terrible herself. (She doesn’t recall doing any messaging of her own, but she also doesn’t recall getting home and throwing her jacket on the floor, so.)

She chuckles at a few of the messages and grimaces at others, but her heart nearly stops, and she almost drops her glass when she scrolls down and sees a very familiar name.

In his tiny profile picture, he’s looking somewhere off camera and has a single eyebrow raised. His lips are drawn into a somewhat half smirk, half smile. For some reason, she can just hear Gina’s voice, giving him directions on how to pose. (”Okay, Jake. Remember, we’re going for sexy, but not like we’re trying too hard. Like, sure, we’re trying, but it’s almost effortless.”)

There’s a blue star on his photo, and Amy vaguely recalls Kylie telling her this means he swiped up to “Super Like” her. Her ears burn at the idea Jake would ever actually super like her.

After setting her glass down on her coffee table and taking a seat on her couch (to avoid breaking glassware, falling over, or other potential consequences), she takes a deep breath and opens up his messages.

santiago’s on tinder?! whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!!! were the magic themed singles nights not working out for you? :o

gotta say i’m supes flattered you swiped right

but fyi i’m totally going to bring this up at briefing on monday

the whole world has to know i matched with amy santiago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She rolls her eyebrows but continues reading.

unless you don’t want me to??

ames??????????????

k you’re not replying

that tells me you either passed out in shock after matching with me (tbh i get it, nbd)

or you and kylie are having the craziest night of your life :P

There’s a new timestamp before the next message, and when she checks, she finds he sent it over half an hour after the prior one.

look i’m only saying this cause you swiped right first but if this wasn’t a joke and you were actually interested, i’d be up for dinner or whatever

It’s the last of his messages, and it sends her reeling.

Heart racing and hands shaking, she fumbles with her phone to call her best friend. She figures the woman who got her in this mess should help her out of it.

“H-hello?” Kylie’s voice is hoarse and weak, and this makes Amy feel a teensy bit better about her own hangover. Except she’s still freaking out.

“KYLIE! DID I SWIPE RIGHT ON JAKE PERALTA LAST NIGHT?”

There’s a laugh on the other line. “Honey, you grabbed your phone from me to swipe right the second his face came on the screen and then yelled at it when he hadn’t responded within 30 seconds. You didn’t even bother reading his bio - although I checked, and it was just full of Die Hard quotes and emojis… Not the best or most creative. Like what does that even mean dating-wise? What does that tell you about him as a potential lover? Nothing, Amy, nothing. The only thing it says is that his ideal date is probably a Die Hard marathon and make out session."

“Oh, God, can we not analyze Peralta’s Tinder profile right now?”

“You asked about him! Anyway, what’s up, boo? Did your smoking hot partner actually match with you?”

“Smoking hot?”

“Your words, not mine.”

Her cheeks flare up at that, and she groans. She combs her free hand through her hair. “He might have… sent me a bunch of messages and said he was up for dinner or whatever if I was actually interested.”

Kylie makes a high-pitched squeal, and Amy has to bring her phone away from her ear for a second. When she brings it back, her best friend’s talking a mile a minute. “So you are going out with him, right? There is no way in hell you are passing this up, Amy. You’ve been into him forever! You know what, I’m ending this call right now. You need to message him back or text him or call him or something. Text me updates ASAP!”

The line goes silent after that, and Amy's left with a bigger headache than the one she woke up with.

After staring at the ceiling for another minute or hour (she can’t tell), she goes back into the app and pulls up his message. Throwing all caution to the wind, she sends: Hey! :) Are you free tonight?

His reply comes almost instantaneously, which is good because she otherwise would have gone insane.

ya! what do you want to do?? i'm up for anything ;)

ps that winky face wasn’t meant to be sexual or anything, we could literally just sit and talk and eat

or something

no pressure

An increasingly familiar swell of affection rises in her chest. She pauses to consider her response. Die Hard and takeout at my place?

noice. i'll be there @ 6

can't wait, ames!!!!!!! ♥

A series of knocks sounding vaguely like the Imperial March announces his arrival later. Amy tucks her hair behind her ears, takes a deep breath, and gets the door.

Jake has a boyish grin on his face and a spark of amusement in his eyes. “Y’know, Amy, Tinder’s Safety Tips page says you’re always meant to meet someone in public. I hope you don’t invite all your matches to your apartment for movie night. What would Holt say if you got murdered? How would we explain your death to your parents?”

She chuckles and rolls her eyes. Just like that, all the nervousness she felt dissipates. “Come in, Jake.”

The night ends up going on both of their good date lists. - They order Chinese and fight over the last egg roll. Jake recites half the lines of the movie. (Only half because Amy shushes him at some point). They make out on her couch as the end credits roll over the screen.

They also delete their Tinder accounts.

Permanently.

#b99 au #brooklyn nine nine #peraltiago #jake peralta #amy santiago #jake x amy #my stuff #brooklyn 99 #b99 #fic

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bountyofbeads · 5 years ago

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Ahead of witnesses testifying tomorrow before the House Intelligence Committee, I have posted information about each of them fyi from Washington Post with previous articles about their testimony. Also you can find their closed door testimony on the House Intelligence Committee website or Washington Post website. ENJOY THE LIGHT READING 📖 😂🤣😂🤣😂

Who is Alexander Vindman and why does his public testimony matter?

By Amber Phillips | Published Nov.18 at 5:39 PM ET | Washington Post | Posted November 18, 2019 |

On Tuesday, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman is set to testify in the impeachment inquiry about what he heard on President Trump’s July phone call with Ukraine’s newly elected president and why it troubled him.

[Read the transcript of his private deposition on website]

WHO HE IS:

Vindman is the top White House expert on Ukraine, a staffer on the National Security Council and a decorated war veteran. He was born in Ukraine and immigrated to America as a child with his twin brother, who is also a national security official. As children, the Vindman twins were briefly featured in a Ken Burns documentary about the American immigrant story. Vindman enlisted in the U.S. Army and earned a Purple Heart in Iraq.

WHY HE MATTERS:

He is one of the first witnesses testifying publicly who listened in on Trump’s July phone call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. The fact that he is testifying undercuts Republicans’ argument that Democrats have no firsthand witnesses to alleged wrongdoing by Trump. Vindman is one of several national security officials who listened to the call and were disturbed by it. Another, Jennifer Williams, will testify alongside him.

He also provides evidence that the Trump White House offered Ukraine a quid pro quo after overhearing a diplomat tell Ukrainian officials that they would get an Oval Office meeting in exchange for investigations.

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM HIS PRIVATE TESTIMONY:

A couple of things. He was very concerned about how Trump conducted the call, and it’s possible that his decision to raise those concerns led to the White House trying to cover up the call. After he heard Trump ask Ukraine’s president to investigate the former vice president Joe Biden and his son Hunter, Vindman said, he relayed his concerns to a lawyer on the National Security Council, who instructed him to stay quiet about it. Vindman also said the rough transcript that the White House released in September omits Biden-specific references in the conversation.

Vindman also said he heard Gordon Sondland, U.S. ambassador to the European Union, tell Ukrainian officials who were visiting the White House that for their president to get an Oval Office meeting with Trump, they needed to investigate Democrats. Vindman testified that he told Sondland “it was inappropriate and we were not going to get involved in any investigations.”

KEY QUOTE FROM HIS PRIVATE TESTIMONY:

“There was no doubt."

That was Vindman’s answer when asked whether he had any doubt that Trump was asking Ukraine’s president to investigate his political rivals on that phone call in order for Ukraine to get what it wanted. That, too, undercuts Republicans’ defense that Trump was merely focused on corruption when he brought up the Bidens — and offers a potential motive for Trump withholding military aid to Ukraine before he talked to Ukraine’s president in July.

WHAT HE DOESN’T SAY IN HIS PRIVATE TESTIMONY:

What Trump was thinking. Vindman is a staffer on the National Security Council in the White House, but he’s not a political aide who was consulting with Trump.

WHAT TO WATCH FOR IN HIS PUBLIC TESTIMONY:

Will Vindman make a convincing case that Trump’s call with Ukraine’s leader wasn’t “perfect,” as the president claims? He cuts a striking figure as a witness: a White House staffer and an immigrant who has dedicated his life to serving the United States. Also, will he be subject to ugly attacks about his loyalty to America, as he was by some Trump allies after he testified privately?

______

4 big takeaways from Fiona Hill’s and Alexander Vindman’s transcripts

By Aaron Blake | Published November 08 at 2:08 PM ET | Washington Post | Posted November 18, 2019 |

We got our latest transcripts Friday in the House impeachment inquiry — this time from the depositions of National Security Council officials Fiona Hill and Lt. Col. Alexander S. Vindman.

Vindman, you might recall, testified last week that Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland started talking to Ukrainian officials about the need for specific investigations for them to secure a meeting with President Trump, before national security adviser John Bolton cut the meeting short. Hill, too, was in that July 10 meeting and is a key witness to internal discord in the White House.

Here are some key takeaways from their testimony:

1. Mick Mulvaney is now implicated in the quid pro quo.

Both Vindman’s and Hill’s testimony fills out the picture of the quid pro quo — and brings it closer to Trump.

Sondland emphasized in his clarified testimony this week that Trump had not explicitly conveyed a quid pro quo to him. But both Hill and Vindman lay it at the feet of Trump’s top aide, acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney.

“Ambassador Sondland, in front of the Ukrainians, as I came in, was talking about how he had an agreement with Chief of Staff Mulvaney for a meeting with the Ukrainians if they were going to go forward with investigations,” Hill said of the July 10 meeting that Bolton broke up.

Vindman added that Sondland said the quid pro quo “had been coordinated with White House chief of staff Mr. Mick Mulvaney.”

“[Sondland] just said that he had had a conversation with Mr. Mulvaney, and this is what was required in order to get a meeting,” Vindman said.

Compare that with this exchange from Sondland’s testimony:

Q: Did you have a conversation with Mr. Mulvaney about a White House visit for President Zelensky?

SONDLAND: I don’t recall.

Sondland testified that he had conveyed the other quid pro quo — the one involving hundreds of millions of dollars in withheld military aid — based upon the lack of a “credible” alternative. (He said that it was merely what he “presumed” to be the case.) In the case of an Oval Office meeting being leveraged, we now have two witnesses explicitly saying Sondland got his quid pro quo marching orders from Mulvaney.

Sondland has some explaining to do, and Mulvaney certainly does — even as he is refusing to testify.

Republicans are reportedly going to try to blame this on Rudolph W. Giuliani and Sondland. But one big question: How could this have involved Trump’s top aide and not the president himself — a president who was pushing for these same investigations, no less?

2. SONDLAND HAS EVEN MORE EXPLAINING TO DO.

It goes from bad to worse for Sondland. Not only is his testimony about Mulvaney at issue, but Vindman also indicates another key element of Sondland’s testimony is bogus.

Sondland testified that he pushed for Ukraine to investigate Burisma, the company that employed Hunter Biden, but he said he was not aware that the Bidens had any proximity to the company — even as late as August. That strained credulity, given Giuliani’s push for these investigations and his transparency that the Burisma one was about the Bidens had been in the news as early as early May.

And now Vindman says Sondland, in that July 10 meeting, explicitly mentioned Biden as part of the Burisma investigation:

VINDMAN: The conversation unfolded with Sondland proceeding to kind of, you know, review what the deliverable would be in order to get the meeting, and he talked about the investigation into the Bidens, and, frankly, I can’t 100 percent recall because I didn’t take notes of it, but Burisma, that it seemed — I mean, there was no ambiguity, I guess, in my mind. He was calling for something, calling for an investigation that didn’t exist into the Bidens and Burisma.

Q: Okay. Ambiguity in your mind is different from what you —

VINDMAN: Sure.

Q: — actually heard?

VINDMAN: Right. Correct.

Q: What did you hear Sondland say?

VINDMAN: That the Ukrainians would have to deliver an investigation into the Bidens.

Q: Into the Bidens. So in the Ward Room he mentioned the word “Bidens”?

VINDMAN: To the best of my recollection, yes.

Q: Okay. Did he mention 2016?

VINDMAN: I don’t recall.

Q: Did he mention Burisma?

VINDMAN: My visceral reaction to what was being called for suggested that it was explicit. There was no ambiguity.

“To the best of my recollection” isn’t quite a 100 percent “yes.” But, as I have written, it would be amazing if Sondland somehow really did not know about the Burisma/Biden connection in July, because pretty much everyone else apparently did.

Nonetheless, he was adamant about it in his testimony, saying he simply had not read the New York Times stories about Giuliani’s efforts — or cared to ask Giuliani, apparently.

3. AN INCOHERENT CHAIN OF COMMAND

Another emerging GOP defense here — besides the idea that Trump wasn’t personally involved — is that the Trump White House’s Ukraine policy was too incoherent to actually execute some kind of scheme like this.

And both testimonies suggest there might be a kernel of truth to that. Hill describes arguing with Sondland about who was really in charge of Ukraine policy — and not actually resolving the issue.

After Sondland said he was in charge, Hill said she responded: “No, you’re not. . . . Who says you’re in charge of Ukraine?”

He replied: “The president.”

Hill said she didn’t know whether that was true and that “nobody else seemed to be aware of that either,” including Bolton and State Department officials.

She added at another point in her testimony: “We had an awful lot of people in the early stages of the administration doing all kinds of things that were not in their portfolio.”

Vindman confirms that there was something of a free-for-all on Ukraine policy. He says at one point that Hill told him not to attend a debriefing of Trump, because there was a “personal risk.”

“I was told that there was a gentleman that was providing information, representing himself as director for Ukraine, and that I would be confused with this person,” Vindman said. Vindman said Hill identified the person as Kash Patel, another NSC aide and ally of Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) who had no discernible Ukraine expertise. (The testimony confirms a report from Politico last week.)

The idea that this incoherence means there could not have been any corruption, of course, is taking things a few steps further. There are plenty of inept criminals, after all, and you don’t necessarily need to execute the quid pro quo for it to be illegal; the mere offer could be a campaign finance violation, an impeachable offense or arguably even bribery or extortion.

There is also the possibility that the White House did not want to formalize Sondland’s and others’ irregular diplomacy back channel, because that would raise suspicions. So better not to confirm he was actually in charge.

4.SONDLAND’S REMOVAL— AND REINSTATEMENT— ON A UKRAINE TRIP

It has become clear at this point that Sondland is not the steadiest character in this whole saga. He has already had to clarify his testimony, and many of his claims make no sense next to others’ versions of events. (See Nos. 1 and 2 above.)

And Vindman furthers the picture of a top official in Europe who is not exactly the steadiest diplomatic hand. He says Sondland was removed from a May delegation for Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s inauguration because he couldn’t be trusted to stay on message.

Curiously, though, Sondland was restored to the delegation:

VINDMAN: I think that Dr. Hill may have possibly removed him, because of the understanding that she didn’t think that Ambassador Bolton wanted him on the delegation.

Q: Yeah. Do you know why not?

VINDMAN: Because it was outside of his portfolio, and he tended to go off script so there was some risk involved.

Q: What does that mean, he tended to go off script?

VINDMAN: He’s not a professional diplomat. And this is not critical of him, but he didn’t necessarily act as a diplomat and he wouldn’t necessarily, you know — if we had a consistent position and a consistent set of talking points, he would not necessarily be consistent with our — with the rest of the consensus view.

Q: Do you know how Sondland got back on the list?

VINDMAN: I don’t recall.

This is an event worth probing further, certainly — as is Sondland’s apparent unwieldiness and inconsistencies as a witness.

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How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old with a 1999 ford mustang cobra?

"How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old with a 1999 ford mustang cobra?

How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old with a 1999 ford mustang cobra?

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How much does insurance cost on a car for someone that is under 21?

Car insurance and court hearing?

i drove my car without insurance and got by police got 6 points as i m on provisional then again after 2 months i got a car just to move in local place like for shopping and instead of geting a cab i thought i can use it but the moment i bought it i was driving back home police stopped me coz 1 break light was not working and got again points but the point is dvla didnt sent me a disqualification notice and after 3 months i was driving my friends car as it was just a scrap and had no fuel i was in petrol pump abt 12 at night police guys caught be because my friend was making some funny sounds there so got hearing and 1 yr ban...can some one tell me how much fine will i get and will they sentence me for jail...any help will be appriciated

Car insurance company gave me money why?

I got into a car accident and filed a injury claim the person behind me rear ended me as has progressive insurance. I met up with their adjuster to discuss feb injury claim. I have insurance so they are refunding my insurance company for my physical therapy. They also gave me a personal check for 750 as a sorry gesture. I have never heard of this? Why would they give me a personal amount of money ??

Does anyone know a cheap liability insurance company for an 18 year old?

Please let me know asap. Thank you!

""Getting my own car, insurance and registration.?""

I'm getting my own car, but I don't have a license yet. So I was just wondering should I put it under my dad's name first? And also the registration and insurance. Should it be under my dad's name first or can I put it under my name? They were thinking about getting the insurance for me because it would be cheaper but would it be possible for them to get the insurance if the car is under my name?""

How much would car insurance cost for...?

a 19 yr old girl just married, who recently obtained license (within a year)? Liability only, in monroeville PA. Cheapest company? Best rate? Thanks!""

Where can I buy cheap auto insurance?

I want to add an extra driver on to my car insurance for 7 days what would be the average price of this?

Republicans: If your wife or mother died of breast cancer due to Blue Cross terminating her insurance on a?

flimsy excuse, how would you react? This is exactly what happened in California and several women died due to lack of treatment. As a Republican, would you Glad Hand the exectutive responsible for increasing profits, just take the court settlement and start your life over, or would you hunt down the exectutive responsible for her death and avenge it?""

How to write a appeal letter for denied life insurance?

my mom passed away now the insurance company denied her life insurance policy over a form that was not filled out but we never knew about form was not told or mailed to us already went to lawyer he said i still need to write a appeal letter does anyone know how to do this???? help please

Can anyone tell me about selling insurance as a career?

A friend of the family sales insurance through State Farm. He has offered to mentor me and show me the ropes in the insurance business. I know absalutly nothing about insuarance. Is ita good career? Is it difficult to do? How much money do you make? Im in California. thanks

If a 20 year old doesn't have insurance on his car and get's into a car accident is the state of Illinois.?

If a 20 year old doesn't have insurance on his car and get's into a car accident is the state of Illinois, what legally happens? I got into a car wreck in my uninsured vehicle, now I went out and got insurance, and have a court date set up. What legally should happen here? Loss of license? Obviously a fine.. Just give me the facts on this one.""

Do I need to Insure my project cars?

I am planning on restoring classic cars and I would plan to do this on a garage, so would I legally need to insure them in Nj if I am not driving them on the road? Just trying to get some information about all the technical things of doing restorations at home. Thanks""

Best Car Insurance Company For A 29yr Old Vehicle?

I live in the UK, and own a 29yr old 3-door Range Rover -- 3.5ltr, manual, petrol, bull bars, social only, 1000 miles years max. Would anyone know a good insurance company - maybe classic insurance - that would give a good quote? Many thanks""

Cheap CAR INSURANCE please! (TX)?

im 25 and single and i have a 2008 suzuki car and i drive 2 minutes to my work. can you suggest any cheap car insurance i wanna change my insurance it cost me a lot and a penny is important to me nowadays. (im not broke just want to save and save LOL) im in san antonio, tx""

Problem with Admiral car insurance... heeelp!!!!?

Hello Thank you for entering in my post I've been with Admiral insurance for more than 1 year, which is my 1st car insurance since I've been in England I've been driving for more than 12 years and I've never made a claim before it was a normal and clear day and i was going to work when I had an accident with a girl riding a moped It was a very silly accident, fortunatelly none was injured, and I only had a broken wind-mirrow, which is no more than 50 of damage I had to call Admiral, my insurer, to sort the problem out, I had no other choice Admiral told me I was not covered to go to work since on the policy agreement says: use for social, domestic and pleasure purposes only. And, according to them, to be covered, my policy had to be: use for social and COMMUNITY. So Community for them means, going to work, it is ridiculas but that's what i was told However they said we cover you, you will have to pay 23.74 extra and you will be covered, it was frustrating, a theft, but I let it go... The absurd story didn't even start yet! I gave Admiral all the details which the police had given to me the day of the accident plus some pictures of the scene, which I took before to leave that day Admiral sent an inspector who interwied me at my house. This inspector wrote a statement of 6 PAGES! about my accident, however, I need to say, he did a very good job On the statement states that none was injured and the fault lies with the moped rider, which is also what the police said on the scene. In addtion this inspector suggested to call my insurer again to finally get my car fixed. Admiral told me I will have to pay for the damage myself and, after all their investigation, if they find out it was not my fault, I can ask e refund for the damage, and they added that this investigation can take up to 3 years, so I will have my money back in 3 years! this is because according to them, the moper rider was injured This is absolutely incredible What would you suggest? I would like to get rid of this Admiral policy as soon possible, I would like to claim against it Who could I call to claim against Admiral? Any suggestion according this matter will be very apprecitive thank you in advance for your help""

Car Insurance for Teen?

I'm 16 years old and before my dad buys me a car, I have to have enough money in the bank for car insurance. (I've gotta pay for it.) I think I qualify for a discount since I'm, like, an A- student. Let's say... I get a 1999 Honda. Any quotes?""

What is the best private health insurance in California?

I am working at a company in California where there is no health insurance offered so I need to get private insurance. Any suggestions on any good private health insurance companies?

How much does it cost to insure a landrover defender at 17?

im 17 soon and am looking to learn to drive, i was considering a landrover defender for my first car, any ideas as to how much it would cost to insure? i would by an oldish model. the reason i am considering this car is because we have land and live stock etc so it would be practical. i live in the UK also. and can it be insured cheaper if im a member of the NFU or anything. Thanks for your help in advance :)""

Can i stay under parents insurance and switch car title over to my name?

So my parents gave me a car for my 18th birthday a few years ago and I am still under their insurance. I gave the car a paint job that costed 2,500 and I want to make sure the care is mine, can I switch the car title to my name while still being on their insurance? They keep me under their insurance so I can have cheaper insurance while in college""

Saving up car + insurance HELP !?

My partner is having driving tests every week, and she is a more advanced driver. I just like to get advice on this matter, financial ? I do got a job, part time mainly. I do earn around 180 +- a week if I am lucky, She has student loan, 800 every three months and that's not much since she has to pay university fees. normally around 9k. now it's around 4.5 thousand pounds I guess. She wants to get a car insurance and a car, we are troubled what to do since if she wants all of that it will be loads more. Since insurance is 600 pounds every year ? petrol and other costs MOT. Road tax ? Just some examples, there might be lots more to worry about. I will help her to get all these things, She thinks it would be easier to get a second hand car, that will hopefully handle 2/3 years ? I do not believe that's a wise choice since that would be much more expensive for extra costs and repairs. On top when she is done with Uni and she has to get a job, it's more sufficient to still owning a proper car to get you everywhere. The body could be damaged, and the chance of a accident is higher + extra costs. Can anybody help us out ? A second hand for 2/3 thousand with a insurance of 600 a year ? or not ? Lemme know ! Thank you !""

How to reduce the price of your insurance for a 18 year old? (in the UK)?

Hey, i just wanted to know if anyone knew ways to reduce the price. At the moment i know some insurance companies reduce the price if you have done something called pass plus Also adding a parent onto YOUR policy can also reduce the cost (not the other way round, that's illegal if you drive it more then they do!) Thanks, i only want a Ford Fiesta, but insurance is looking at 1500+!""

How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old with a 1999 ford mustang cobra?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/auto-insurance-new-drivers-amanda-chambers/"

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