#bc all of them are shit that we wouldnt even be able to take anyway

[swagging-back-to]

my sister is still sending me apartment listings from facebook bc her backup plan to ditch me last minute (after id already gotten us apprived to move on to an apartment) to move in with her parents fell through

[orcelito]

Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.

But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.

[ma3mae]

Hello!! I hope you are doing well, wanted to say I love your work !!

Can I request how the BSD boys (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Fukuzawa etc) would react to gf!fem!reader saying “I am just a hole” after they did something attractive? Something fun and suggestive ehehe~

No brain, just horny!

Summary: No one cared about you being down bad for you bfs since everything's mutual, right? (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Fukuzawa)

Genre: fluff, maybe crack, def suggestive themes, maybe a tiny tiny bit of smut. Who knows 💀

Warnings: yall gonna be horny after this 🤓

A/N: was kinda difficult to think of fitting scenarios but i had fun writing this!! Also thank you for loving my work, anonnnn 💕💕💕💕

Part 2

Dazai Osamu

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAAAAAAT 💀💀💀💀

HES HORNY 24/7, DONT EXPECT HIM TO HOLD BACK LMAOO 💀💀😭😭

okay okay so lets say yall are at the ADA office

hes done with annoying the shit ouf of kuni and now hes just sitting on the couch, literally bored out of his mind

Kuni tells u to tell "that dumbass idiot of a boyfriend🤩" to finally get back to work so u go up to him

u know that scene where he leans his head back onto the grave and slowly tilts it back down and opens his eyes while having that soft smile on his face? oda's only purpose was him dying so we'd get that scene, crying fr 😭😭😭

Yeah hes doing exactly THAT as he notices your presence infront of him, flashing you a smile and only for it to spread even further as he notices your dazed face 💀

"Oh, bella? Too lovestruck to talk to me, I see. Can't help it that I'm just so hands-"

"I'm nothing but a hole for you"

I DONT KNOW HOW SOMEONE COULD EVEN SAY THAT 😭😭 THATS SUCH A WEIRD THING TO SAY AND SO DUMB BUT NO ONE CARES 🥲🥲🥲

AND HIS HORNY ASS DOESNT GIVE TWO SHITS EITHER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

his eyes are fking bulging as he hears you say that infront of him

ACTUALLY shocked that you had the guts to legit say that outloud and luckily no one rly heard that except him he wouldnt mind if the whole ass office wouldve heard that, we KNOW 💀

you manage to get a good laugh out of him before he just shoots you that god awful handsome smirk before he suddenly stands up

Towering over you, he leans in and whispers "Never thought you'd be so dirty to say stuff like that during working hours. Not that I'm complaining! I'm glad to have such a strong effect on you, bella~" got me blushing fr😳😳😳

Its too late to realise what you've just said. Your fate has been sealed.

OFF TO HORNY JAIL YALL GO 💀💀🗣️

no jk but nah nah he wont stop there

Youve awakened the fking horny beast in him and how could he refuse his love offering herself so blatantly while your coworkers were literally in the same room?? 🤩😋

He just takes your hand as he proceeds to leave the office

Kuni just yells "Oi, where the hell do you think you're going?! Only told you to tell him to work! Not join his stupid shenanigans!! 😡😡"

YOU KNOW that ur bf just turns around and shoots him that annoying ass smirk, only to say

"But Kunikida, we are off to work actually! Nothing you'd be able to do anyway. Tell me when you've found something interesting in all that paper work of yours! Can tell you that our job will definitely be more fun than that~ 😁😁"

You can only give poor kuni a sheepish smile as atsushi just deadpans at the both of you, muttering a "good luck 😐" towards you as your bf just drags you to his car because your job's gonna be too loud to do at the ada and going home wont be an option since dazai's not patient in that sense 💀💀💀

Already sending prayers to you for having to go back to "work" while being sore af and dazai looking like he got out of a 10 day wellness vacation 😭🥲🥲

dazai's actually gonna spare our poor kuni by kinda doing some paper work but our man will be forever traumatised bc hes not oblivious 🗣️

Especially after seeing your neck littered with hickeys 😭😭 u cant hide them, youve got a damn mosquito as a bf 💀

kuni just tosses a bottle of water your way without looking at u bc he thinks its not modest to shamelessly look at them 😤 I LOVE U KUNI

"thanks, i guess" is all you'll hear from him bc at the end, you DID get dazai to work but at what cost 😭

Kunikida Doppo

Flabbergasted. Shocked. Disappointed. Shamefully not too hard to turn on. 💀

His first reaction is gonna be like u just told ur mom u forgot to do the laundry 😭

DEF gonna scold your ass off for saying such things in such an inappropiate setting

its not your fault hes being so hot during work 😤😤😤😤

Tell him off for being so handsome!! 🤩

Wont stop his scolding but u cant take him serious when hes fumbling over his words

Still manages to thank you for ur compliment even though its embarassing af 😭 no way would he refuse such kind words from his love 😋

So anyway it could go two ways with him

The first would be if yall wouldnt be alone at the ADA

You go up to him to ask him about a report you need help with

Ive never seen kuni tie his hair up but... imagine catching him doing that...

With the hair tie in his mouth as he pulls his hair back and like...

It makes u think of the times you'd yank it back during yk what 🤭

So he notices you gape at him and is all like "🤨 are you alright?"

Cue to you just uttering "Damn, kuni. You only gotta ask. Am just a hole for you anyway" out of nowhere

LMAO you can just hear dazai cackling from the couch as your bf just looks at you like 😳 with his mouth agape and everything

Dazai just walks up to you to pat your shoulder

"Kunikida, you've got quite the daring girlfriend!" "SHUT YOUR ANNOYING MOUTH UP"

kuni just quickly ties his hair back and BROO he nearly feels so violated and exposed 😭😭😭😭

Why would u do this to him AT WORK 😭

Ngl u and dazai prob team up to annoy him to death like hes just so fun to TEASE 😤

Anyway he just tells you to get back to work and when u tell him you need some help, he begrudgingly does it bc its important but you can still his hands shake a bit and his face is red as he tries to give you advice on ur work skskksks 💀

Be ready to get scolded for HOURS when yall are on ur way home 🤓

But dw u know how to shut his beautiful mouth up 🤭😋

But if you do the whole thing while yall are alone at work bc kuni decided to stay a bit longer then THATS a different story

Lets say he does the same thing again as above ^ and u say the same thing

He'll def turn a bit red and tell you that you cant say stuff like that during work!

"But kuni, we're alone and no ones gonna come back anyway. It's nearly 8pm after all."

The sun's setting and the only light that softly illuminates the room and it just steals ur fking breath bc 😭 hes so gorgeous with his hair open 😭😭😭

But u can still see his gaze on u, making ur knees weak bc BROO

horny jail for kuni too????? 💀💀💀

jk but he'll clear his throat and just say "a work place is still a work place so i cant let this inappropiate behavior just go like that..."

You're like standing infront of him and he grabs you by your waist, softly kneading it as he tells u to sit on his lap 😭

"Will teach that mouth of yours how to behave. Maybe after this you'll be a bit more tame. Think that idiot has been a bad influence on you like he has with everyone but don't worry. I'll be sure to teach you everything again."

I'll let you imagine the rest here 🤭🤭

Edogawa Ranpo

man just wants to eat his candy in peace, get ur horny ass away from him 🤨🤨🤨🤨

u thought dazai's a whole bitch???? Nah nah this is a MAN CHILD right here

This man wont give u what u want, nah he'll let u suffer alone LOL 💀💀

if this happens at work then 🤷 honestly depends on what mood he is i think

its a hot day in yokohama and the air conditioning is not rly helping yall

so u kinda wanna go grab some ice cream during ur break and u dont need to think twice about asking ur bf to go with u

fr he'll be SO annoying if u dont take him with u 💀 but dw he obviously knows why u r approaching him rn 🤩

but he takes a while to catch on why u just stopped and looked like a fish rn like a combo of this :0 and 😳

he just goes "🤨"

"Damn, the bathroom's close. 'am just a hole for you anyway so let's go" u legit go 😨 after realising what u just said

How no one hears that, idk but this hoe DEF heard u well

U r even more scared bc he just sits there and doesnt react but oops

only needs some sec before he opens his eyes and smirks at u 🤭

"Eh~ You've got guts, Y/N. Saying naughty stuff like that during work hours. Not that I mind though. Just shows how smitten you are by the World's Greatest Detective~"

"N-"

He just waves a finger at u like you're a lil kid getting scolded rn 💀

"Ah ah ah, don't try to refute that fact. Can't blame you for your reaction after all. It's still funny to me that all it took was me losening my tie, gliding a hand through my hair and open up a button of my shirt. ~ "

He just gets up and gives you a peck on your cheek before walking ahead

"I still want that ice ream though! If it's good then I'll give tending to your needs a thought!" 💀 THIS BITCH

but dw he'll make sure to show u how smitten he is after that bc ur mouth just tastes better after some sweet ice cream, right 🤓??

but u know whats the best combo with saying that sentence?

a jealous ranpo 🤩

like ok quick scenario

lets move this outside of work, ok?

So yall are walking around and some random dude decides to hit on u and hello 🤨cant he see that u r legit holding hands with the world's greatest detective??

u kindly tell the man to fuck off but nah hes not letting u chill

wraps protectively his arm around ur waist, clearly showing him that YOU. ARE. TAKEN.

"with that scrawny lookin dude???" bro hes got a death sentence 💀

time for ur bf to show him his skills 🤭 which means threatening him to expose everything about him

immediately tells him where he lives, what he does for a living, where he likes to shop, where his parents live. E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G

he just smirks and puffs his chest slightly out as that dude just fking runs off bc id be terrified too 😨

He deserves it tho ✋

"What a fool! Thinking he could challenge ME?! The greatest detective to ever live! See how terrified he was!" hes fking cackling before stopping as he sees ur face

brothers and sisters, we are LOVESTRUCK

and that hoe cann see that right away 💀

"Thank you..." like should we say how hot that was???? maybe 😳😳???

"And?" AH obviously he got us 😭

but we too embarassed to say smth but NICE, theres a nearby alley so u know where hes dragging us 🤩

Pressed up against the wall and hes just centimeters away from u as he asks again

"That wasn't everything you wanted to say, right~? Of course you find me" hot" but just wanna hear it from you, love."

"FUCK, am just a hole for u" 💀😳

goes wide eyed for a sec before chuckling and saying "Well, that wasn't what I wanted to hear but I'll let it count!"

His eyes travel down your neck before finally saying "Hm, I've got an idea in how to make everyone know that you're taken. I deserve a little treat after having saved you, no?" 🤭🤭🤭 got me blushing fr

Anyway problem solved, no one made moves onto u after that and it might turn into a habit before yall go out for the next times 🗣️

But no one's complaining hihi 🤭🤭😳

Fukuzawa Yukichi

oh god where do i even begin 💀

i gotta hold myself back from getting off topic when it comes to HIM 😭

honestly this man has seen and experienced so many things, u gotta do a lot to catch THIS man off guard 💀💀

bro he had to deal with mori's ass in his 20's for too long and STILL deals with it till this day 😐😐😐😐😐

not to mention the agency is like his fking orphanage at this point 😐

Already enough that his first child is still a child with his thirty years of living on this damn planet 🤓

lets say u work at the ADA as well and now yall r holding a meeting to go over some details for a random mission

Idk if its just me but... the way he sits there and is leading that whole shit, telling em what to do and how they could handle it the best way, while encouraging everyone to work hard n stuff... idk....

Its just so HOT 😳😳😳🤭

like hes so charismatic, fuck dazai, yall cant compare ANYONE to this man 😭😭😭😭😭😭 no wonder everyone follows him, id lick his shoes too 😭😭 HORNY JAIL FOR ME?????

anyway he dismisses everyone and the both of you are the last ones to be in the room bc u r just sitting at the table and staring at him like 😳

Dw my girl, hes been noticing the way you've been looking at him the whole time

"Is everything alright, my love? You've been staring at me for quite a while now."

"N-No its nothing 😳"

nah no need to hold back bc we know our knees r gonna buckle the second he takes ur hand

AND HE DOES 🤩🤩

his eyes slightly crinkle at the end as you can see amusement dance in them

"I know that look when something's on your mind. I'll respect your decision to not tell me but I'd like to know what it is."

honestly your red face is already proof enough whats on ur mind but how can u hide it when hes just looking at you with such an intense gaze UGH I LOVE THIS MAAAAAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"W-Well the way you just handle everything with ease even though its a lot of pressure and i dont know...it's just really admirable but also hot when you tell them what to do. wouldnt mind you doing that in the bedroom too, you know. id be a hole for u anytime like this... "

u tryna mumble that shit out of embarassement but he clearly heard you 💀

And he does go wide eyed out of surprise because DAMN thats still pretty straightforward and was kinda the last thing he'd thought you'd say but honestly... he doesnt mind it 💀

in facr hes liking it a bit too much for himself 💀💀 but who is he to complain? Especially when his lover is being so honest with him?

" So you want me to be a bit more authoritative in the bedroom? I-It might be a bit awkward for me to do so but if it's something you desire then we'll gladly try it out together. We should be done with the mission around the evening but if not then..."

you feel his hands gently cup your face as he presses his lips against yours before pulling a bit too soon for your liking

"Then I hope this will suffice until then. I'll be sure to thank you for your patience after everything's over."

THE ONLY THIINNGG

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS SAY YESSSS 🤩🤩😭😭😭😭😭

IDC IF IM NOT SPEAKING FOR EVERYONE BC

We WILL wait for him OKAY 💀💀✋✋✋

he just strokes your hair lovingly as you try to hide ur face bc hes just too blinding

anyway as the both of u get ready to leave, yall just hear quick shuffling behind yall bc OOPS

THE DOOR WAS OPEN 💀

THE KIDS DIDNT LEAVE LOL 💀💀 THEY HEARD EVERYTHING

"😳☺️🤭😏" u can choose which ADA member would make which face 💀💀💀

ngl u prob sometimes call them ur children and BRO

ranpo actually annoys u for some candy ngl 💀

u once punched dazai's gut bc yk he'd ask the stupid question like

"if you're our mom, would that make you a milf?"

send him back to the MAFIA trash can he came from 🤩���

jk but might write a oneshot about him even tho hes difficult to write 💀

will def do a part 2 of this bc it gives me an excuse to simp for these men 💀

[time-woods]

Thinkin bout how we never got a draxum backstory ep-hes a warrior so chances are hes fought in at least one war right? Also considering his long life span hes def seen some shit, bc we never got draxs backstory Im making my own (with more reasoning why he hates humans sm)- draxum had to have had a family right? Where are they now? What happened to them? when he was young some yokai were actually able to live on the surface(secluded and far away but still) he lived in a small yokai town/village- humans having the belief that yokai were dangerous and should be driven away, they attacked his town,(this wouldnt b at NY somewhere more rural btw) this left a sour impression on drax, growing up he had the intent to protect the yokai race by any means,- His intent was good but his methods warped over time, by war after war, yokai against yokai(this type of war definitely happened, like rebellions n such) seeing the worst in others made him leap to the harshest of methods to protect others.Aka leading to him being a alchemist etc

(rough idea ^^ taken from my twt- some other ideas bellow))

draxs mom was a warrior- protecting the yokai, but to take care of her kids and her village she decided to devote her time to that, she cares for her family and her community and will stop at nothing to protect them(dont look 2 deep into that- dw)

Random ass hc but drax keeps his hair long because when he was a kid in his family having long hair was a sign of strength, his mom was one of his biggest (and only role models) but he always looked up to her. So he keeps his hair long in her honor.

mama drax would definitely hum/sing as she would brush draxs hair, that or tell interesting stories about her time as a warrior (she embellishes to make them either sound more cool or to make them a bit more kid friendly))

Just thought abt somethin else about the hair thing-as kid drax is running from his village last thing he sees is his mom get captured by yokai hunters, yokai hunters knowing  these warriors- they cut her hair, washing away the last bit of pride she had, failing her sworn mission -to have the strength needed to protect her people and family, at least she saved a few, right? This is another reason why drax keeps his hair long, to remember her strength even though it was taken from her,

anyways,, i think thats all i got 4 nows, beware more angst soon (possibly))

[pumpkinsy0]

I’m not sure if America does this much, but from where I am, a grade is able to travel to a different country for around a week or two for educational purposes (e.g Italy, France, Etc.) So,,, any Papercut Hcs for that? (Taken that they were able to make up the money for that, maybe Pony took up extra jobs to earn the money.)

ik what ur talking about!!! i dont think its common for a WHOLE GRADE to do it, but ik wym!!!!

OK SO

•lets say they’re traveling to france (ewwww🙄🙄 but trust me, makes sense later), their language class was french and they were like “man y dont we all travel to france to test out skills n have fun”

•gonna b frank w u, pony, curly, and their families were hesitant on it, MOSTLY bc of money restraints but when it comes to pony, its bc he just never traveled out the country before, let alone all by himself

• curly rlly has no aspirations to travel anywhere but then he realized that if pony left, he would b bored out his mind cayse who else can he annoy as well as he does w pony??? so he was on board!!

•look, getting that money was a hard time for all, tim and curly did more jobs, darry and soda worked their asses off and so did pony, but at the end of the day, they did it (also some of it was covered for everyone bc of some soc’s rich ass dad)🙏🏽🙏🏽

•when the packed, they damn near packed everything they had bc they just dont have much, it was like they were going away forever😭

•look, curly (and angela, shes here too!!! :3) r haitian immigrants, they knowwwww french bc they HAD to learn it in haiti to get through the education system, hell theyre probably one of the few ppl who even know it fluently out this whole grade, everyone else was lowkey bullshittin

•curlys basically ponys translator for everything, and curly WILL use it to his advantage, ponys always smarter than him but HERE??? HEEEE has the upper hand, plus, this means pony being clingy

•but his french was a lil rusty bc he wouldnt rlly speak it a lot, even in class he wouldnt rlly speak

•pony had this “introduction to french” book darry gave him bc darry can actually speak french bc of the class!!!

•curly and angela CANNOOTTT see the eiffel tower as being romantic btw, that shit was built w haitian money they hate france man (YES, im airing out some of my grievances i hate france dude🙄🙄), if pony mentioned the tower near curly he’d roll his eyes, ALSO BC HE FOUND IT TO B CORNY

•curly and pony keep getting lost dude, its like hell on earth, YES, france is walkable, but that probably just makes it worse for them bc theyre walking far in the wrong way😭

•u can def tell theyre american tourist, but i dont think curly would care, ponys trying to keep a low profile tho

•i dont think they rlly, like french food that much, not even that it taste bad or anything just not their cup of tea, honestly

•if i remember right, france has a problem w pick pocketers and i PROMISE u that wouldnt slide w either of em, they WILL fight u over it😭

•angela was excited to try the macarons!!! honestly like top thing she liked there probably, maybe she also flirted w some guys in french, got some perfume, she treated it like a vacation more than like something educational, she knew french already this was USELESS to her

•pony loved the museums, and wouldve liked it MORE if curly didnt RUSH him all the time bc he was bored, curlys the kind of guy to only go to museums for the gift shop and tbh??? so real

•they were able ti get a room together at a hotel thankfully, and half the time in it was NOT spent sleeping, it was spent w curly making stupid jokes and pony laughing so they were tired in the morning

•let them have some souvenirs, they deserve it!!!pony tried to get something each for the gang, curly got something STUPID for tim, angela got a cute gift for herself

•pony promised to take pics while he was there and he did, but some of the pics had curly being a dumbass in it🙄🙄

anyways i went through this whole post without making a kanye west joke, im truly growing to b more mature

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

[ilynpilled]

Do u believe that Jaime might kill Cersei and then himself at the end of the series? I saw other page theorizing about him killing himself as a final act or something like that…

i think about jaime and suicide a lot bc i do think it is a permeating theme with him in many ways, and he does do a lot of passive suicidal ideation. he is one of the characters who does not fear death really and is reckless in a way that it is clear that part of him seems drawn to it because of his existential dread. idk bc the thing is that i do think that “what else can i do, but die?” passage indicates the opposite of an ending with suicide specifically, and i think there are themes relevant to him here that i think are more likely to be followed through rather than be tragically rejected:

nonetheless, theres a certain part of me that is morbidly drawn to him succumbing to despair anyway. like if he dies with valonqar, i think thats the only way i would actually like it. i was never someone that felt particularly moved by the “poetry” or “irony” of dying together because i always thought all of that is much richer if it is treated as desperate self affirming delusion that is bound to collapse. and we already see jaime reject dying with her once. there is a visible degree of acceptance of their fates not being entwined that is not feigned bc he did actually leave her to her fate and no longer feels the obligation to die with her, pretty clearly juxtaposed with his mindset in asos where he revolves his life around her “needing” him, and ofc cersei’s own desperate narrative rn. and i think george writing it so they can die exactly at the same time doesnt just feel unrealistic but also would hurt the weight of the scene to me because it would give me no aftermath. a wall falls on them both? valonqar doesnt even happen then. jaime killing cersei and then a wall falls on him or some shit? whats the point? double suicide? where is the ‘betrayal’ and irony and subversion of the jc dynamic’s narrative? cersei’s mindset is proven right. cersei kills him? idk if that works with cersei’s tragedy/betrayal/shock + how would she? he’s injured from something else and makes sure to bring down cersei with him? ig, still feel eh about it. if it happens, i wouldnt feel that much about anything thats not an actual suicide after a murder. and even then, it would make more sense for jaime to attempt suicide by rushing into the nearest battle/suicide mission based on his established characterization. that is the type of act that would be in character rather than just falling on a sword then and there ig. u can argue that the choice itself of him going back can be framed as a suicide attempt where he wants to go down with a sinking ship bc he thinks thats what he deserves, and ofc depending on when this happens the city might be beyond saving already, but still, the execution and circumstances matter to me. i also obviously dont want it framed as him being unable to live without cersei. i find that reductive of his character and boring on top of kind of incongruent bc he already made that choice of key separation once. he already proved himself capable of treating their lives as not entwined. i would only like suicide if it was about a complicated and ingrained sense of failure over not being able to triumph over reckoning with the world and the self (this is what makes the light go out in the weirwood dream too. cersei leaving is not where it ends), esp bc i assume the whole thing is playing on history repeating itself in the most ironic and dark way imaginable. ofc a bigger part of me wants triumph over that this time and for that flaming sword that he gave brienne to still burn and provide light in “his darkness”, replacing cersei’s torch that she takes with her in the dream as she joins tywin and joffrey and the lannister ancestors and leaves jaime in “the dark”, to represent some deeper purpose also embodied by brienne that allows him to continue past this point (the flames will burn as long as you live when they die so must you), and i also think it works better in a lot of ways. i have talked about widow’s wail currently being in the red keep, the twin swords set up, twftd foreshadowing, how i interpret the prophecies in the weirwood dream and how it works with the past and future etc, even how it all comes together thematically when it concerns knighthood and the cynicism/idealism synthesis. but still, a part of me is attracted to that kind of painful tragedy. im fairly open to a lot of things in general if they are not halfbaked and incongruent and dont make me feel empty in a bad way on top of being unsatisfied. but yeah, when thinking about the narrative as a whole, idk how it could work in a way that id like based on all that i have read.

to me, theres too much cost in terms of set ups, unless it happens at the very end of the story ig. but how would that work logistically? and when and how would he acquire widow’s wail? that sword’s a chekhovs gun for twftd that i think jaime has the most foreshadowing and set up with. what else would he do at the red keep? why put him there again when this part of the story could be wrapped up? like theres a certain order of events that seems to work and make the established pieces fall together much better in my head, but ofc i could be wrong.

[the-owl-house-takes]

ngl i rly love the idea of both philip AND caleb being evil assholes

imagine if caleb wanted to wipe out humanity bc his view of them had become so warped after growing up in a town full of witch hunters, so he had this twisted desire to protect witchkind by killing all humans (sound familiar?)

i also like to think caleb initially kept up his "whoa calm down bro" facade during the knife fight but then eventually dropped it and told philip "i shouldve killed you before i left" and went absolutely apeshit on him

(i dont think philip wouldve ever known abt calebs hatred of humanity tho bc imo caleb wouldve been smart enough to not tell him. so philip attacking caleb was still rooted solely on his anti-witch bigotry and does NOT make him a "hero" whatsoever lol)

ik (iirc) dana said evelyn chose caleb bc he seemed to be the nicest person in gravesfield but 1. caleb wouldve been hiding his hatred of humanity for obvious reasons and 2. we dont know shit abt evelyn herself, for all we know her standards couldve been "someone who wouldnt kill a witch on sight"

(speaking of evelyn i personally dont think she was evil in any way. i hc her as more of a batshit chaotic neutral character who did whatever she wanted as long as its fun anyways)

in this case caleb would be interesting foils to philip (anti-human vs anti-witch), hunter (who has an affinity to the human realm and is close to some humans like luz and camila) and the clawthorne sisters (both eda and lilith are flawed but still ultimately good ppl. both the clawthornes and the wittebanes subvert the "good sibling evil sibling" trope this way)

idk exactly what caleb and flapjacks relationship wouldve been like tho they had to have been close to some degree right? but at the same time i think flapjack had always disagreed with calebs anti-human sentiments but was afraid to actively oppose him, and ofc flap was happy that hunter was able to befriend a human and enjoy the human realm

speaking of hunter i. i was gonna say "imagine if hunter found out abt caleb wanting to wipe out humanity lol so angsty" but tbh i think that would just be TOO traumatic to him (even for an angst enjoyer like me) like he straight up wont be able to recover from that imo. or at least take a REALLY long time to recover but either way i dont think he should learn abt that kinda stuff. i do think it would be interesting if luz, eda and lilith found out tho

i also originally had the hc that caleb built the cat eye portal with the purpose of ambushing gravesfield once he was ready, but after the papa titan eye reveal in wad im not even sure who built that portal anymore- well either way caleb still wouldve wanted to build A portal ig (not the other one that led to the clawthorne house, i think that was probably evelyns)

also. the irony of both caleb and philip dying as smth that theyve hated (caleb died as a human and philip died as a "witch/demon", not literally the species in philips case but more luzs definition of "powerful magic user", and we can all agree that monster philip is demonic). i do think caleb was trying to find ways to turn himself into a real witch but philip killed him before he could succeed

uhh idk how to end this long ass post lmao- actually yk what im just gonna go ahead and say ik this will probably never be canon even if we get more official toh content in the future, its just a fun idea/hc i rly like!!! i have so much more to say abt this hc but imma stop here for now bc i dont want this ask to be TOO long lol

-

[newtscamandersbf]

small rant on the scene of neville’s boggart and jkr in general lol

tbh sev and remus r my fav chars ijdk how to feel abt the whole boggart scene? like i dont think he shouldve humiliated sev that way, but we do need to remember that jkr is transphobic as shit unfortunately. i cant ever imagine remus as being bigoted or transphobic/queerphobic though? we still need to remember that this was the 90s, and reps/scenes such as these were common in 90s/2000s media and the years before that. this scene also very much feels like jkr simply projecting on her fav character because it very much goes against what we know of remus and sev; remus felt bad for sev, but couldnt bring himself to tell his friends to stop because he thought they would drop him. he tried to tell them to stop once, but they didn’t listen, and he never tried again. he never participated in the bullying, nor helped snape; just watched from the sidelines, as he didn’t want sev to think he was like his friends/found family but also didnt want them to think he was 'betraying' them or something.

i like to imagine many things in hp in my own version of canon, and that involves this scene; i prefer to have it be remus telling neville to imagine snape doing something very out-of-character for him, which would be funny. for example singing, or dancing, etc..

in my books (no pun intended), he only told neville to imagine severus wearing his grandma’s clothes as his 'riddikulus' because the way nev’s grandma dresses looks funny (at least from remus’ pov). and just imagining severus dressing in a way completely different from how he usually dresses is funny, not because he’s in drag. i wouldnt even rlly consider that drag? while it was likely jkr trying to make fun of drag queens i dont think that was remus’ intention (does that make sense?). i think he told him to imagine sev wearing his grandma’s clothes bc nev’s grandma admittedly dresses in a way that looks funny/weird on her as well, and imagining such a serious and all-black man such as severus wearing it would be funny because of how out-of-character that is. i might just be biased bc remus is one of my comfort characters, and i’m just delusional, but hey.

the whole boggart scene in general makes me uncomfortable as a trans and queer person, and because i view sev as trans-coded or at least queer-coded. but i also view remus as queer-coded (not only bc of the lycanthropy, it’s his general vibe and the fact jkr /neg wrote him in the same way that she writes the 'good' hp mothers, not to mention his interactions with sirius and the fact david thewlis and the director themselves thought he was gay, but the allegory of his lycanthropy being his queerness also makes sense in an uncomfortable way? because if you take remus being outed as a werewolf, then quitting his job as a teacher [one of the only jobs he was ever able to get because of who he is] since he knows the parents will view him as a danger to the children, it sounds like a reference to homophobia. a very bad and admittedly anti-queer accidental queer-coding, but still. anyways we’re getting side tracked), and i genuinely cannot bring myself to see him as bigoted or in any way discriminating. to me that whole scene was just jkr projecting, which i think she unfortunately does a lot.. ew..

either way. the scene made me uncomfortable because it brings me back to my middle school, but both remus and sev are my fav characters and both remus making fun of snape in that way and snape outing him as a werewolf were shitty things to do and i don’t know whose part i should take.

when in doubt lets just blame all the problems on jkr. i hate her. i hope she perishes. the rest of u have good day tho ily, let me know what u think lol

[dudewithastick]

sneaky peek at my current wip (also the first wip i had in months) and some thots on it. i need to rant (complain) so bear with me

so far its going pretty good, it doesn’t look bad and thats cool bcs i defs wouldve given up if it did look bad at this point.

obviously this is some kind of realism style and its okay, its not the best, idc. what sucks is that i dont even want this style but its the only one i can do. like i wanna do cartoons and other artsy stuff with clear lines or just sketching. stuff i see online, but i CANNOT do it, no matter how hard i try. i will always do some realistic shadowing and then its over bcs the composition isnt right for me anymore. and i hate it bcs not only would my life be so much easier if i wouldnt fall into this kind of ‘realistic’ style, which is straight up a pain, id be so much more productive as well. but i’m some weird perfectionist dumbass (blame it on my virgo rising or whatever) so shading and tiny details it is.

speaking of details, i love that i accidentally built this wip on my sketch file, which was not nearly a good enough format and now the quality SUCKS ASS but thats nothing new to me so i’m just gonna accept that every detail i draw is like 5 pixels only and you can barely see them.

another thing i suck at is color theory. and when i started this project (yesterday) i was set on doing only b&w. literally 3 seconds in i used colors and i regretted it immediately bcs it looked good which meant i had to continue bcs we dont do half assed shit… so now i committed to color and i don’t understand color theory. like i can see it working but it doesn’t make sense and all i do is experiment bcs i see no sense or pattern (now i question my tiktok diagnosis of autism, neurodivergence and adhd)

at this point i have also given up at originality. im just copying my references picture, which is fine bcs i will never be able to draw a whole ass person, and i would defs not be satisfied if i wouldn’t add details. so now im stuck at drawing a whole military outfit and my reference picture is also only 9 pixels so i cant even make out what im drawing. i’m just guessing at this point.

okay for now the last part of my complaining… @blnk338 why did u choose such a unique mask for reaper? the way i struggled with the concept and its still not perfect but i dont wanna get hung up on it so i’m moving all over the place and going back to the mask every other minute… pretty sure the mask design alone took me 2 hours to put together so it made sense to my brain and then another 3 to design to my liking lmao

anyway this is a snippet of my current take on reaper from rwys, which so far is only the body but there will probs be eyes at some point, if i dont give up. first time in months, almost years of drawing something, so i guess big thanks to blink for giving me the motivation and a character to work on for fun. hopefully i can give an update on progress soon lol

[nori-the-cat]

Sorry I wanted to ramble a bit bc this been annoying me these past few days

what do you think of tarot readers who might be trying to identify exactly who an idols fs going to be? for instance they may or may not be dating rn or may not want to date. But I seen so many blogs trying to really dig and dig for the info on who they are supposed to be even snooping on random ppls pages and assuming thats who they must be. Either all bc of zodiac orrrr bc they just have that vibe that they assuming. idk shits crazy online nowadays. Without even considering what the idol may or may not want or like in a person or if the idol even want to date at all which again they might not want too.

I also wanted to say I think it got harder to genuinely meet idols and celebs in more relaxed places nowadays than in the 00s or even the 90s were a slightly more reasonable time period for celebs to meet ppl more freely. I also think some idols just going to be wanted for their body or their face, ppl who follow them on tneir social medias just going to be lusting for them and I can think of a few idols that will probs just be used for sex or hook ups bc of the way their companies using their image.

You wouldnt be able to genuinely meet them in casual settings without their fans making a scene about it. One of the super junior guys said they user to dress as female and i thought he was a genius for that cause no one saw who he was when he was with his partner but thats sad too at the same time bc hes old enough by now to surely be able to openly date without stupid behaviour from his fans

Sure there some very very goodlooking physically idols but like there is more to them than their body yet all I see even on their personal tags on this site is just straight up oversexualisation of them to the point it really seem delusional and unhinged, it like ppl aint seen abs before kpop normalised male idols showing abs. So I dont think its actually possible for just to have normal conversation w/ idols if you were to meet them bc like they not going to trust easily and they might not notice u if u arent a somebody with a lot of followers. all in all it seems very vein even if the idols are likeable, I just dont like nor agree with this overreaction that ppl seem to habe toward them and their personal lives. Even i found myself getting sucked into it bc like what else is there besides celebs and idols? there just nothing normal about it anymore.

For instance I was thinking it would be more doable to meet them privately and just treat them like they are normal non idol but it just not possible anymore sadly :c theres many idols I like or wouldve liked to get to know if I had the means too without stalking ro being delulu but its so realistically impossible.

Idols cant even stand next to opposite gender without getting rumors so like I often do wonder how they going to meet their fs if that something an idol might want but then I also am like it dont matter, ik it not me. But like wouldnt you be bit curious as to what it like? yet the downside will always be social media users sending hate if they fs get found out, knetz overreacting, media overreacting, stalkers, sasaengs and so on. Yet I want bts for example to meet their fs already.

Yoongi already seem like he doesnt particularly care if he dont meet his fs but at the same time he got more chances to bc of his popularity and so on. if life wasnt about money i think kpop would ne less toxic overall bc we could then enjoy these groups more than just for the way they look or how rich they are and so on.

sorry for my long ramble but i dont think its spoken about enough cause how normalised it is to be fully deluded about idols and their personal life. anyway i enjoy your readings as they dont poke too much <3

Hello Anon, this was an insightful thought. Thank u for taking your time to share it with me. ♡

Now, you asked me why other tarot readers are doing tarot readings on idols FS. Well the answer is I don’t know. I truly don’t know. I don’t have the answer either. I also don’t want to judge how other tarot readers do their reading or what reading they like to do. I mean I do read idols ideal type, their take on romantic relationships, how they are like as boyfriend, and many more. So, who am I to say something on this? 😅

However, celebrities in general live a fairly private life. This makes them become or seen as interesting. I mean wouldn’t you want to know what your introverted friends do on the weekend? It’s the same with celebrities. The more mysterious someone is, the more other people want to know about their private life and that includes whoever they date or marry. On top of this, celebrities live a wealthy, segregated, and privileged social life which normal people can’t have. The side effect to this is that people would obviously want to know what they do on a daily basis and who they associate themselves with.

I hope that answers your frustrations. Also, thank you for enjoying my readings. ♡

[lemonlovemeanslove]

many people might know this already but the reason so many of us hijabis excel academically is bc education is legit the only only only way out of a toxic household/surroundings, and i've been thinking about how sad that is. how desperation, fear, and abuse was a study motivator. like abuse follows u in every corner of your life and impacts everything...your actions, inactions, your drive, your hopes your dreams. to just ''get away'' has been the dream of so many of the people i know growing up.

like we are 11 thinking oh my god this is gonna get so much worse than u become 14 and realize shit this is like, the only way out for me. And everyone around you gets this look in thier eye and we all see how the friendgroup start to excel academically except for that one girl and we all feel bad bc we know she struggles in a very different way and you try to encurgage her and say just try harder study more or maybe you say oh well grades dont matter anyways but she knows and you know thats all bullshit bc the only people who make it out are those with goood grades. And then years pass and a couple of people in the group have achived their dream in terms of acedemia and some of them are finally able to move out, but only some. The others are still at home, degree on the wall or in a closet. Oh, it didnt matter in the end, your parents still said no, and you have no finances. And one girl has had enough and tires to run away. And then shes back, and shes different, and she wont tell you what happned at the airport. but you know its bad.

Then theres a wedding, shes 21 and shes getting married now. You havent spoken to her in a while, but you remember, the last thing she said about how she NEVER wanted to get married, nope, im getting my degree she said, and then im out of here, maybe to america, maybe the uk, i applied to that program in Poland. But hey, people change. Who knows. he might be great. This might be what she wanted. Your arent invited to the wedding either way, no need to speculate. You turn over to your friend, who is invited, and you wanna ask her about her take on all this, because, i mean like...Rana back then was like, going to become a doctor...and now all of a sudden shes halting her studies, getting married to some guy, not even the guy she used to talk to, just some guy, did you say hes your dads friends son or something? But you dont ask her, because you remember, she didnt even go to school. She wasnt allowed. And of course, of course, she is also the greatest writer you know, and you used to tell her all the time, asking, why dont you try make it something! You could you know, wouldnt you like it? your so taleted. You stopped when you noticed how sad shes smile, like, of fucking course shed like to you dumb fuck, why do you think it is she hasnt. she wasent even allowed to go highschool, and now her parents are gonna let her apply to some, overseas writer program. Get real.

So you dont ask her, and no one ever talks about it, and you try not to think about how you spend 5 years giving school your all, and how now, on your last year, youve kinda just dropped the ball, and oh gooood, why have you done that. this was your ticket out of here, fuck.

[bebx]

hi im so sorry but i need to get this off my chest and i cant talk to my friends about it because its so embarrassing and ive talked about it PLENTY

but anyway long story short i was dating someone, we have a weird history dating wise & have been best friends for 3+ years before that all started. literally three weeks ago we decided to be exclusive, on friday i found out that the day before, he kissed another girl IN PUBLIC. i know that girl, they've hooked up before (when i was also hooking up with him but it wasn't anything really and i didn't actually know for sure if they were hooking up (they were)). so we called it quits.

i still spent the weekend bc i'm weak and all i want is him. he said he never felt a connection like this with anyone, he said he loved me and he said he was sorry a hundred times..... he said it would take a long time before he'd feel 'normal' about me. we were both emotional when i left, and since then i havent really stopped crying lol

AND NOW. i dont know if im just driving myself crazy but i feel like he's (still) (again?) talking to that one girl and it would make sense because he basically cheated on me not even a week ago so why wouldnt he do this now??? but. it feels too cruel. but maybe thats just who he is.

god i hate this so much he drives me completely mad im stalking his every move and every time i see something that even slightly hints at my suspicions i get so ill and it makes me wanna kms. i just wanna feel normal i hate that he did this to me i miss him so bad. i know we literally shouldn't ever get back together again because this is just a fraction of the shit thats happened in the past 10 months, BUT I ONLY WANT HIM. and i feel like we're soulmates. BYEEEEE this is so humiliating. im so tired i just want it to end

hugging you so tight right now, anon!!! 🩷🩷🩷 so sorry you have to go through something like this. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because each person experiences this type of pain differently, but I do know it just super sucks when the person who hurts us and the person we want to hate turns out to be the one we love the most. sometimes our hearts can be stubborn just like that (it all would’ve been so easy if we could convince ourselves to stop caring and to being able to fully hate them and moving on, but it’s never that easy, sadly). I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to the pain you feel, but know that your pain is valid and how you feel / how you react / how you cope with that pain, that’s valid too. and you are not weak for being hurt when someone wronged you, especially when it’s someone you trusted. I know this is cliche and is so much easier said than done, but please also be kind to yourself, above anything else. that boy and the girl he cheated on you with, they don’t deserve you. they lost you, not the other way around. think of this as an opportunity for you to open yourself to someone else who truly loves and values you, whether it be romantically or platonically. I know right now you just want him, but if the wrong person can make you love him this bad, imagine how much happier you’ll be when you finally find the right one who can make you love them the same way you loved him, if not more, the only difference is that they won’t break your heart. and you deserve to be happy. that someone is out there, and I truly believe you both will find each other when the time is right. but for now, try loving and being gentle to yourself even if it’s hard (I know it can be hard, but at least give it a try), the best revenge is to prove to them that you don’t need them to be happy and that you can heal from this and thrive without them in your life. doesn’t matter how long it takes, but you will get there one day, and you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. because hey, look at you, you are still here, and for that, I am so damn proud of you!!

it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be completely broken, because the thing about crying and being broken is that it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now.

and by the way, the ones who should feel humiliated are him and that girl, not you. screw it if they deserve each other. YOU deserve so much better than that anyway.

[yuukei-yikes]

What would happen in an AU where Haruka's and Takane's abilities were swapped? They entered the daze at about the same time and they both had similar wishes. I don't think Takane would have a Konoha incident and Haruka would be more open with Shintaro (assuming that's who he ran into) but beyond that: ???. (You can assume shintaro ends up okay and focus just on Harutaka moments in this AU)

I'VE DRAWN THIS BEFORE its pretty old art but still funny (neet ayano was so fucking funny to me) i remember when i drew that i was thinking the way to swap haruka and takane's roles relies a lot on the daze messing up real bad in a hilarious way. bc haruka and takanes wishes ARE kinda similar, it kinda revolves around them being like I DONT WANNA BE FUCKING SICK!!!!!! like haruka in a body that can't sleep or eat is literally his worst nightmare but hey u wont die in this body lol!!! and takane wouldn't care particularly abt being super strong but maybe awakening can apply never sleeping or something. and like u said maybe takane wouldnt have a konoha incident... like, the reason haruka cant be in his body is bc his personality is too soft for awakening? so he's sorta rejected? but takane would have a strong personality for it right?? so yeah ig she'd be aware.

but aware takane with awakening eyes kinda misses the point to meee like things would be over so fast like that. takane with a super op power would get the fuck out of kenjirous house and go to shintaro and end up finding haruka anyway. and theyd reunite fast and theres no angst like that...where would be the fun in that. and that would be a huge pain in the ass for clearing, that would rly mess up its plans. so maybe it manages to do something to make takane take the backseat in her body and let awakening drive like it does in haruka's, that way we also get konoha!! tho ig in this au awakenings name would be ene right?? lol thats so weird. but yeah bro AWARE takane with awakening?? bitch would be unstoppable clearing would not be able to handle this 😭ok lets not get into the nitty gritties lollll sory everytime i get an ask i literally get so sidetracked im sorry OK UM SO lets go by awakening is driving takanes body hc bc thats more fun i also think ene haruka would be more honest to shintaro ?? but like again shit would be over so quick like that. shintaro would be like oh thank god not all 3 are dead haruka is right here. so maybe haruka doesnt say anything at first bc shintaro looks A MESS and hes like erm. ill tell him when he feels better :) *whole year goes by* but also they'd have a similar dynamic to ene and shintaro not bc haruka wants to annoy him on purpose but its by accident LOL hes also trying to get him out of the room and hes like HEY SHINTARO LETS BUY SOME SUNSCREEN COME ONNN COME ONNN and shintaros like GET OUT OF THE SCREENNNNNNNNN also haruka abt not finding any record of him and takane disappearing/existing he'd be like o shit. okay maybe i dont tell shintaro bc am i even real u told me to focus on harutaka and i didnt even talk abt it erm erm erm haruka would probably be obsessed with hanging out with takane and wouldnt do the WOW MR FAKE thing like ene did bc hes convinced takane must be there somewhere but he grows increasingly frustrated at awakening LOL

[itskoolest]

mandela catalogue story thoughts

alright time for more rambles, im gonna explain my understanding of and best guesses about tmc, if anyone sees this who things i got anything wrong or who knows more, please tell i wanna know. so in 1981, the first reports of alternate encounters begin, and the first basic understanding is formed about alternates, with the first warnings broadcast. a couple years before this, a young mark heathcliff is made his "scary night" story, around the intruder, which may have been the first ever report or sighting of an alternate in any form/capacity. then, in (as far as i can tell) a seperate incident, in september 1992, cesar's mum was attacked by an alternate, and so cesar takes her to the hospital and asks mark to head over and turn on the cams. mark does so before leaving, but the alternate was still in the house at the time and followed him home, where it then sat outside his door for days until he y'know, unalived on 15 september 1992. After mark's prolonged absence from school, one of his teachers alerts the police with a voicemail, and thatcher heads over to investigate, and discovers mark's body on 21st september 1992. sometime after this, the situation with the murrays occurs which results in baby adam (would be 3 or 4) being abducted, lynn committing die and jude disappearing in one way or another. personally im running into a lot of what seems like conflicting information in/about this section so i cant yet clearly understand the timeline, but that's the result. somewhere along the line, an investigator attempts to check out the house but 'pussies out', however a volunteer is able to set up some in house cameras, though despite what we see in intruder alert, thatcher doesnt see any anomalies with the findings and so has to conduct an investigation with weaver. when they check the house out, the alternate created by adam whilst watching stanley on the tv is still there, and kills weaver during the investigation. thatcher then flees for the station, but the alternate follows him there, and assaults and assimilates him as we see in the end of 333, though thatcher doesnt seem to be physically injured by the encounter, only mentally. following this, thatcher goes into hiding in an attempt to escape the alternate, and because of this, we think everyone else assumes he is dead.

in 2007, mark's sister, sarah, who was only 3 at the time of mark's death, starts the bythorne paranormal club in an attempt to understand more about what happened to her brother. adam, now 19, joins the club as well, bc he freaky as fuck idk what the hell going on with that guy im ngl, but i think the abduction might have a part in why he's like this, and he might have been under the guise of even gabriel/false shepard/literal devil himself when he was missing, although that said he failed the toddler assessment review before this even happened so i dont think we have enough info yet. anyway, him and sarah conduct their first mission on 14-15 july 2007, in which adam makes shit get crazy and sarah decides "yk what, ill just do admin and look at results instead of getting them myself", and so adam hires jonah as his new partner. vol 2 then takes place in mid january of 2009, resulting in the death of jonah but not adam, who walks for miles in the cold so he can steal his dead friends car lmao. and i dont fully understand what happens with him and the guy at the end of 4 tbh, thats the one part i cant come up with a theory for. all i know is that he is absolutely the mandela prophet.

meanwhile, evelin looks through dave's tapes, and i think the reason dave always wears sunglasses is because they protect from the effects of the alternates interacting with those tapes. knowing that evelin wouldnt have looked at these tapes with shades, he is kinda forced into firing her,or at least not being around her too much, as she could theoretically summon an alternate to their location at any time with the wrong stimuli. however during this time, dave has been speaking with a friend named o'brien, who has effectively been opening dave's eyes to the potential wonders of life outside of chasing alternates, and because of this dave decides to basically retire from the alternate stuff. eventually he agrees to meet o'brien outside of the church, to intiate whatever post-alternate plan they had been working on, and so he phones thatcher on short notice and just tells him that he's leaving. imo this is going to be a big fucking problem for thatcher, as he doesn't know nearly as much as dave did about alternates and might struggle to go alone, with potentially only evelin to work with. oh and also there is now an all powerful being after him. either way, dave goes to meet o'brien outside the church, however to his absolute fucking horror, o'brien was actually gabriel all along, posing as a friend to deter him from learning too much about the alternates, and most importantly luring him right into gabriel's trap - despite his wealth of knowledge and experience with alternates, he still managed to follow the shepard. ok i definitely missed some detail stuff but i think this gets the majority of the important plot points, even if theyre probably all horribly wrong lmao. if anyone wants to correct me on stuff or tell me things i might not know, go ahead!

[npclibrarydump]

thinking about the scene in my head where the crew finally gets their shit together and meets up to plan for the session, like who still needs their planet quests done and who knows where their quest bed is. and discussing how exactly the battlefield is going to be restored, and how the genesis breeding is going. and then theyre wondering how exactly the "win" thing works. if their new universe is at the end...

alexi's pretty blunt "can we take finn with us?" because its not wrong to assume game 'constructs' wont be able to leave the medium.

everyone goes silent while finn sorta deflects and haws his way around a no. he didnt even see the ultimate reward in his own game, and he probably wouldnt have remembered anyway. "but please, dont worry about it. the most important thing is getting everyone to the end in one piece :)" and because hes sweet and atp more attatched to this group than his own co-players

"i really want you guys to win, more than anything" very sentimental and smiley. but piers isnt having any of that. "we. you are a part of this team now finn, if we win youre winning with us."

and more silence bc its awkward and tbh piers and kastri are the ones who know finn the best atp. finn is surprised and has to hide that... he doesnt really feel that way. but he thanks piers and asks frixaa to move on discussing the plans.

piers is more blunt and well, not grumpy but yk. for the rest of that meeting. and afterwards. everyone splits up to go questing and piers goes back home for more tedious insect science. and after floating around checking on the others for a bit, finn ends up on piers' planet like he usually does.

its hard to tell, but piers is upset with him. or something related to finn? he's a grumpy cynical person anyway, but piers when he's really upset is distant and cold, using work as a barrier to the world while he seethes quietly. finn tries to talk to him, just how they normally would, but piers is uhh. yea

neither of them are super 'beat around the bush' people, so finn just asks. "is it about the meeting?" and piers has to put his tools down. "i'm flattered you think of me as one of you all, really. but the reality is that,.. im not even supposed to be here. i'm only... not alive but resurrected, because of a whole lot of glitches that lined up to revive me."

"im not a player here. my planet isnt here, i dont have a spot on either of the moons, there sure isnt a quest bed out there for me. ive no reason to assume ill be able to enter the new universe with you, and i dont want to... pretend that its true."

piers: "you dont know! im not going to delude myself into thinking that either, but you just... dismiss that it could happen... and i dont care whatever the game thinks, youre- ugh" he doesnt usually get this emotional with arguments..

finn is still... listen. its a self worth thing, the only vital thing he did for his session was die. and so far, he hasnt done anything other than provide the information sprites are supposed to anyway. hes a useful messenger, and he's good at talking to people, but hes not a combatant or magic wielder or planner. he knows hes a coward.

"i just... dont want to get anyones hopes up. yours or mine." he says. "and if i cant leave with you, or something else happens- i dont want you all to hesitate in getting the reward you really deserve..."

piers stands up from his desk, "you deserve it too! and theres a difference between... between hoping itll turn out fine and being just... defeatist and cynical!"

finn half laughs. "hm, i thought you were supposed to be the cynical one." piers deflates, that feeling where you know you arent persuasive enough to convince someone to change their mind, especially about themselves.