#and all expenses covered i still wouldnt live with her

[swagging-back-to]

my sister is still sending me apartment listings from facebook bc her backup plan to ditch me last minute (after id already gotten us apprived to move on to an apartment) to move in with her parents fell through

[ill-caterpillar-7616]

My life is falling apart and I’m so close to a relapse

My marriage is crumbling due to my own mental health and lack of affection. I feel as though I’m failing my kid at every turn, even when everyone keeps saying I’m doing well or telling me how smart and well-behaved he is. I’ve had to move 2 hours away from my husband and toddler to my mom’s house as my grandmother is now needing 24/7 care probably until she passes (expected within a year but who fucking knows) since no one else in the family can or will be bothered by their own mother dying. An ACTUAL live in caregiver wouldn’t be covered by insurance and would be too expensive. My kid is going to have to live like we have split custody. I feel as though I have barely any true emotional support as my husband is struggling with his own battles that I’m trying so hard to fix/ help with since they’re mostly my fault. My friends are all long-distant or online, and I’m not REALLY that close to any of them at this point in my life. My mother is juggling her job, finances, her mother’s health, her mother’s impending death, another mouth to feed as I can’t bring much monetary assistance to the house, and so much more so it fucking seems like I can’t seem to even ask her to take my kid for 5 minutes after a LONG day, not only doing my duties to my kid and grandmother, but helping my own mother outside even though I have chronic joint pain and a fatigue condition that left me feeling like I was going to collapse from exhaustion, pain, and lack of oxygen by the time I finally pushed my body back inside. SHE WOULDNT EVEN LET ME GET THE QUESTION OUT OF MY MOUTH!! I had been struggling to get him to go to bed for over 30 minutes and I just needed a moment (we do NOT do the cry it out in this household). All I said was”Moma,-“ and it’s all “no, it’s not happening, I have to be up early,” as if I’m not having to ALSO wake up early to get my grandmother dressed, fed, taken to the bathroom, and received her toe fungal meds alongside the other laundry list of medications before she needs to be out the door at 8:30 in the morning

Now, I am aware of my responsibilities as a parent and that as I have MY child, he is MY responsibility, and I don’t want to push him off to other people who have enough on their plate, but to ask for 2 seconds of help from my own mother and to be shot down so quickly and (IMO) cruelly, fucking hurt. I’m taking care of her mother and so far, for just the price of a vape (I’m trying to quit. Also I don’t expect monetary return on help I’m just adding it in I guess. Idk at this point). I have a whole life and family that is falling apart but I know I’m the only option here. My siblings either work or are out of state. My aunts and uncles either have work (which some have the ability to still help even then), their own elderly to care for, or my favorite, care more about their weird church’s “volunteer work” or mowingg their lawn more than coming to help or even fucking visit. Like. Who fuxkin does that?!??!?

So with all of that info… I battled with an addiction to self harm for over 7 years. I’m riddled with scars on my body but I have been 4 years clean as of so far. However, with everything going on, it’s becoming harder and harder to push the thoughts away and think on the things that usually help me get away from those urges/temptations. I hate it because my husband and our baby have been the pillars to my continued clean streak/sobriety(?) and with everything falling apart as it is right now… I don’t know how much longer I can hold on to my sanity if I’m being honest. I have to cancel and put a rain check on both my therapy that I JUST FUCKING STARTED and my psychiatrist appointment (I hope I can just call him and let him know the dosage is fine). It’s all just a big fucking mess.

Im sorry. I know there are many details missing to all of this but it’s not for advice… I just needed to get it off my chest. I can’t tell anyone else. Can’t worry those who are my closest circle bc EVERYONE is dealing with something right now and my BS just …no.

[richardsphere]

Leverage Redemption Log: The Golf Job

Thats Golf with an O not a U. (so its not about BP) its also notably with an F not a D so its not about Hardison returning to learn a lesson on the importance of simplicity in the art of the con either. --- five-hundred and four nails. Thats a large and incredibly specific number of nails (wether hardware or keratin)

Migrant labour, phones and families held hostage. Well our mark at least knows talent when he sees it.

Welcome to America kid, where "upwards mobility" means a sherpa carrying a drunken white man up Mt Everest. --- HURLEY?! I mean i knew you were still around cause Parker mentioned you earlier but to see you is another story.

Breanna is at a coding-camp to get her skills improved. Ok so i know from the TVtropes page of the OG series that there was a korean spin-off, so im assuming that this is a reference to the Korean Spin-off.

But apparently Hurley went from "no longer doing crime" to "I swear im no longer doing crime unless im conned by a hot nun" to "fuck it, if I cant live a life of non-crime i'll at least have someone I trust decide which crimes im doing". --- Golfing trip. Harry loses his ball and stumbles across our Mark. Harry overhears the less-usefull half of the conversation (basically only knows about a "liquidity issue") and witnesses Bao get threatened.

Elliot is at this point so familiar with the whole "busman's holiday" thing that he no longer finds the irony funny anymore.

Ah im starting to realise whats happening. The halloween episode was a "girls night out" and this is the "boys night out" episode. But cause Hardison is only available as a special guest they had to bring in Hurley to avoid working a 2-man crew. Harry's first time having to do an actual B&E himself. Meanwhile elliot is doing his "pretend to be a creepy rich guy oggling the staff who arent paid enough to put up with it" con. (not a fan) Hurley is getting the money by rolling pockets as a server. --- And Harry needs to figure out a password. First two tries fail (both decent guesses) and he knows a third failure will lock him out so he tries Breanna, who is unfortunately unavailable for reasons of coding camp. Oh he's resorted to Social Engineering, taking a leaf out of Sophie's book. Lets see how it plays out for him.

And He's Done It! (Maybe "Imaloser" is a bit on the nose, but it fits the character of "disgruntled IT guy who is sick of these idiots not doing this right")

Something bad enough that Harry's old employers wouldnt be willing to keep it on their servers lest it damage them? Thats bad.

And Harry almost got compromised but quickly pulls the "this is my office" and stealthily distracts her while he removes the pictureframes. He's getting good at this. (but also, he was never bad at it. His first self-made heist was pretty well thought out with exception to the whole "insurance would've covered it" thing.)

little bit more social engineering and he's got access to the paper files (unfortunately he slips and gives himself slightly away, both with his rant on how lawyers are scum and the daughter thing. Yes Saphron has a child but its a baby, not remotely old enough to be someone she'd remind him of) --- Elliot getting confused on the various stupid con-names. (good gag.)

Sophie doing her part of the con in a cameo. (wonder if this is gonna be a repeat of the Girls Night Out Job and next episode lets us see why she's wearnig a moustache in a monastary, but i dont think so)

poor guy's gonna be on hold for hours isnt he... great dart-throw though. Impressive. --- I like Bao's little story about the Golf-club of the Lake. Hurley is trying to reach out but unfortunately, fear is still winning (cause hostages at the nail-salon) --- Harry is taking his understudy on an all-expenses spa-day. Oh she's calling him out earlier then expected (harry is not that good of an actor) but he reaches out and works her on their side.

Greenscreen Parker is rather uncanny valley.

So yeah, he's a human trafficker. --- And we're back to continuity-jokes (thin blue line and that one where he played baseball)

Repeat of Sophie's advice. Ah the magic words... god i hate those. Hurley reverse-engineers the secret to Elliots power: The more Chaos, the better the Elliot.

Little "chaotic Hurley" montage (the keys, thats just low) --- Operation Ultrakaren is a go! And Hurley is going into withdrawal,

Well Harry is definitly undeniably outed to his old company now. (i mean they already suspected, but now Saphron knows)

"shoulda yelled two". a solid 2/2. bows on everything, wrap-up at the theatre.

[writingsofwesteros]

harwin thirst time

(an anon saying how harwin would be so good at giving massages lives in my head rent free. it was so long ago and yet I sometimes just think of it hahaaa. whoever it was thank you for that idea 🫡)

harwin wanted to surprise you and bought expensive oils and various afrodisiac stuff from essos (maybe someone like daemon hooked him up). You liked that and wanted to try it on him. But the sight of your bare body combined with your feather light touch and all the sensual smells made it almost impossible for him to last. He grabbed you, his dick already leaking and positioned you for a nice 69 session (he knew he wouldnt last long and he still wanted to give you the most pleasure possible.) You both decided the next time it would be you getting a sexy massage.

harwin showed his teasing side. he had fun watching your body covered in oil, you jolting at his every touch. It made you so damn sensitive, you almost came just from him touchig you (he didnt even touched your pussy yet). and he was taking his time. he spread your legs, his fingers parting your folds, relishing at the sight of your evident arousal. you were basically dry humping the air, so desperate. he teased you for a little longer but it was getting too much for him too and he finally entered you. when you were on your orgasm number who knows (you were so out of it you couldnt even count) you started to whimper how it's too much. he chuckles but you were begging for my cock. you will now take it all. I know you can do it my little whore. (he let his overstim and size kink run wild oops). he fucked you stupid, you were like a doll in his arms to do whatever he pleased with you.

your mind was still hazy when he arranged a hot bath for you in the next room of your chambers (he wouldnt let anyone to see you like that: ruined, all lost in your hazy headspace). he brought you there in his arms, cleaned you up really gently praising you how good you were for him. you just hummed with your eyes half closed, letting him to do everything for you. you were content and relaxed, he's the king of after care. he took you to your large comfy bed, put on your night clothes and wrapped his arms around you tightly. you were laying against his large chest, immediately falling asleep. He kissed the top of your head lovingly and watched you breathe rhytmically, one of his favourite sights. You resting in his arms after he literally fucked your brains out. He knew you needed it, life at the court can be mentally taxing, and you desperately needed to unwind.

HOT HOT HOT

We deserved more Harwin content thank you very much!

They love to tease each other so much ! It's just the hottest and he's so big and making her mind mush.

[tears-of-boredom]

okay The Hustle is like actually a pretty cute movie, like it fr left me a smile on my face. I can even endure the annoying pop song of the credits for it. also, that is another white boy. slightly different breed but like, same genus still if you catch my drift. but i think i missed the comedy part? like I was very doubtful of the movie at first because it was a comedy and i don't usually really like them tbh, but I like, did not notice any joke in this?? like I know that there were some, but i guess i just thought myself a bit more perceptive. anne hathaway's accent stuck for me apparently. was the part with penny in jail supposed to be comedy? i guess i just dont know what a normal reaction to comedy is. I also watched the first episode of the first season of doctor who, and this is related because I laughed so hard when it was confirmed that the london eye was the like transmitter. not because of the actual joke they did, but because it was literally the first thing i thought of when the doctor gave the description. it was really funny to me that it was literally like one of the top 5 tourist attractions. and also it was funny that they both needed to see the ferris wheel to realise that it's even a possibility. like, london + big circle? you should think about the eye of london immideatly, and then keep thinking of other answers because why the fuck would it be that simple. and I genuinely laughed at that. but then like, i just kind of,, enjoyed the vibe of The Hustle. like there was no part where i laughed, or thought "thats funny". instead i just really enjoyed how light and silly the vibe of the movie was. though, you know, my eat the rich senses were going off the whole time with anna's character, so I didnt enjoy her that much. like, I know that people will just see a girlboss and like her because she "slays", but honestly i never get those things. rich people should be slayed, regardless of whether they slay or not. especially if theyre not even like nice people.

like, I just...I guess she gets a bit of sway with me because she seems to just rob other rich people, but still. whats it matter when she seemingly just hoards the money anyways.

sorry i am like especially on my communist bullshit rn because i personally dont have much money, and that makes me feel really anxious. i could handle it if it was just my own expenses i needed to consider, because like i can handle starving myself a bit if it comes to that, but i live in a household. and I feel really fucking guilty just living here for free. so i feel the need to cover some expenses of others when I can, although i do not need to. but now i cant do that. also I am trying to wait out the deadline of my birthday, when a medical thing i want(need) will be free.

i just fucking hate rich people ya know. oh look at me i bought this car that uses gas that has methane gas in it aren't i so cool.

why are rich people, of all people, always pushing for poor people to invest for later profits. invest 40 years of your life to 24/7 work and maybe youll be able to buy a house, easy as that! and then the same rich people are literally living every day like its their last. what are they investing in when they support oil companies? they are literally living in the moment so hard that they do not care of the "whole fucking planet actively dying" thing.

i hate hypocrites. and rich people. if I was allowed to kill every billionaire(and millionaire), on the condition that i had to literally eat them, i would leave no fucking crumbs. and I would get on some drugs to deal with whatever the side effects of cannibalism were.

wait wasn't this post about the hustle. well, you know. movies about crime are always bound to unleash my red rage. also I'm joking about me being a communist, kind of at least. because i dont know what the like, official ideals of communism are. but its just like a thing of, if someone doesnt like it when I call myself a commi, i probably wouldnt like them anyway. you have to at least be able to joke about being a communist. and I guess this works for facism too, in the way where if you joke about being a nazi, i will not like you. cus acting like a racist "as a joke" isnt really funny.

anyways I am sorry. im tired. and the whole day ive been thinking about how i want to read fanfics. and also how i want it to rain properly. and I know that I could just read the fanfics, there's nothing really stopping me,, but I guess I just dont want to be dissapointed again. the scenes and athmospheres ive been imagining in my head will always be better than any fanfic writer can create. im sorry, I genuinely am tired. i dont know whats up with me, cuz i literally woke up at noon. like I hope it isnt anything long term thats making me so tired.

[expfcultragreen]

Anyway i think Kevyn and Madison have a turtledove themed wedding, right?

And they tell kevyns family that they arent expected to spare the expense to travel to casablanca for it and no one puts up a fight so its a small ceremony with just the Marleys and a handful of friends of the couple that madisons parents covered travel for.

What did kevyn go to college for?

Economics. Unfocused student, didn't finish. Currently in a pottery class.

How does their business work?

They're taped into a network of diy salt driers/salt foragers the marleys know about through an old friend of madison's grandfather (his salt guy), and through them/their exotic salt connections, they got into larger scale specialty imports; Madison trained abroad as an opera singer through highschool and is a semi-competent polyglot by way of learning some italian and being able to cross-purpose a lot of it, but fully fluent in no one secondary language.

Canonically they have three kids

Pretty cute. I think that all kevyns grandparents died around the same time and some of her meagre combined shares-of-the-assets went towards sperm-banking prior to transition just in case. The rest went toward privately funding the transition costs without telling her family, and the remainder has been long-gone from business expenses. The business took a long time to get going and they had to live off madison doing voice talent work until very recently. They've just broken in to the right circle of restauranteurs to actually make 2 cents profit. Literally. They have all this rock salt warehoused in storage units because the online direct orders never really flew.

They dont sweat the salt, so to speak--businesswise that is--madison's family is a functional security net, they understand sticking it out with the salt, everyone in the family believes in angels and stuff. Signs, fate, etc. Theyre like "of COURSE he came back as an angel to tell you kids to keep spreading the salt" and its a done deal.

Their kids?

Are all named after holidays; April First Marley, Easter Sunday Marley, and Valentine Day Marley. They hate this. Easter is an atheist. (They were not born on these holidays, theyre triplets and their birthday is August 12th). They go by Apey, Easty, and Val. All three are nonbinary.

What's that part of chicago like?

Trick question, its not a part of chicago and everyone there knows that, according to bojack horseman's writers. I just cribbed it from them. It sounded kind of hip? Or, like a place for hipsters to raise families, anyway.

Do the kids get left home alone? Do they have to utilize the salt somehow to fix it?

You'd like that wouldnt you. Kevyn insistently taught them to mind eachother without supervision. Theyre frequently home alone but nothing has ever gone wrong. One time kevyn and madison disappeared mysteriously on the morning of august 12th with a note on the tv about needing to run errands and the trips letting their party guests in as they arrived, and after their friends were all there playing smash bros for a while the cat in the hat showed up but there wasnt much more to conceivably teach the kids about being chaotic on command and he split with time on the clock so he didnt get paid for the full birthday party 🤷

Basically kevyns kids will never be home alone unless they move out to live solo, which is unlikely because they all want to have weirdcute codependent relationships like their parents's and go on endless weirdcute triple dates as one group

Kevyn occasionally works at starbucks to cover upcoming known expenses like feeding and clothing the kids over the next several months. Her parents do help out with the childrearing costs if pressed with an opportunity to do so, but they're weird about it and they mention her unfinished degree too much. Her siblings still treat her like a mistake but they occasionally send the niecephews a couple gifts. Theyve never been told the babies hospital-assigned sexes and this annoys them greatly for no good reason. The grandparents are better about it but try to make awkward jokes about it being awkward, which annoys kevyn although madison thinks its really not that bad, realistically.

Some people like, grow up and forget everything. Not bangarang!

Just 👏 because 👏 kevin 👏 vaguely 👏 demonstrates 👏 some 👏 psychopathy 👏 doesn't 👏 mean 👏 he 👏 did 👏 anything 👏 wrong 👏

He's fighting adults you could more reasonably consider psychopaths by the same indicators, theyre just less dexterous so they end up looking like "underdogs" despite being two violent middleaged men on a regular/ritualized crimespree for strictly personal profit and pleasure, vs one violent 8 year old whose entire ability to survive revolves around the house he's squatting not being destroyed (eg flooded) and/or overrun with cops (this is why he calls the cops from the neighbors and says he's mr. Murphy; he doesnt want to go into foster care or whatever, he's self-emancipated and thats a precarious position. He has no legal right to his dwelling or his newfound autonomy.

Also, he clearly demonstrates empathy. The problem is that his older brother is a bad influence, his family expects slightly too much maturity and gives too little genuine concern and they mercilessly punish failures of this functionally-mandated, developmentally-pressured maturity and emotional low maintenance, and he's an american born in the 80s*. So his overall spread on the psychopathic trait bingocard is upsetting. But buzz is entirely worse and the rest of the family are just too up their own asses to see this. Its all in the scripts and the scenework. Buzz is a total freak and kevin is stuck in a competitive dynamic with him. Its a nightmare. The parents are clearly hyper-permissive with buzz, likely because, as demonstrated at the effectively-unmediated family trial in HA2, he has the modicum of self-confident finesse that (just maybe 🙃) comes with his age/experience advantage and the low emotional deprivation he experiences as The Oldest (this seems to be That kind of nuclear family--defacto/unconsciusly patriarchal; kevin isnt The Baby, he's the RUNT. The omega runt, Fuller, isnt part of their specific nuclear unit but kevin barely outranks him across the whole family as we've seen it--the fact that there is a steep, linear pecking order (siiiiigh, ~hierarchy~) is established by the hide-a-bed fiasco. Ergo kevin is outranked by everyone in his own daily unit; we see them shit on him, it flows like their breathing. We see them primed to be so dottingly receptive to buzz's proxy gaslighting of kevin; they revile kevin as a matter of course, whereas buzz can virtually do no wrong. "I hate this family" fuck, me too kid, me too. Fuck em all, fuck the robbers, fuck everyone except bird lady and mr duncan and the shovel slayer. Fuck this meme and all its versions, fuck the meme makers, and finally fuck renegade cut for privilege-jacketing an 8 year old in order to uplift his abusers to the status of antiheroes for obsessively refusing to just not break into that one house, ~because ~harry ~had ~his ~eye ~on ~it. My incredulity seems boundless, because its been YEARS since these memes or that video were made and i havent found the bounds yet. I was hoping to care less by now but it pretty much just makes me madder and madder.

Tell you what, new lore drop: kevin transitions in college and lesbian-marries the shovel slayer's grandkid after a mutual proposal at the new york symphony and they run a bespoke gourmet salt sample mailer box (and seasonal plowing) business together in schaumberg and every december they go to the old church they first met at, and help organize a toy drive

*if kevin is 8 during the first movie and it's set during release year not filming, he was born in 82. Tough vintage! In some ways the 85's are the worst and in some ways we're where the wave broke (and fuck gen x)

[sxfik]

I have an idea!

Ok so we all know that Hanseo is abused by his big brother, and if i remember correctly, the jipuragi trio found out about it from the guillotine file for the first time.

Now hear me out, what if the jipuragi trio found out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, not from the guillotine file??

After failing to burn down geumga plaza, Hanseok threw that object at Hanseo, telling him not to dodge it, and it left a scar on his forehead. When Hanseo visited jipuragi, he seemed proud of that scar, right?? Because thats what he got from saving geumga plaza, and he hoped that the scar would show them that he wants to be on their side.

BUT lets forget about all those stuff for a moment.

Hanseok loves to strangle, threaten, and hit Hanseo with the hockey stick. It certainly happens more than once, so i figured that there must be a bunch of scars and bruises on his body right?? What if the jipuragi trio noticed one of his scars/bruises?? I know Hanseo always wear long-sleeved stuff, so its not exactly visible, but what if someone caught a glimpse of it??? Perhaps the scar/bruise was on his arm???

Maybe when Hanseo visits jipuragi, Vincenzo asks him to wash some coffee mugs, and as Hanseo is rolling up his sleeves...

"yo whats that on your arm??"

And maybe Hanseo is like "thats a bruise..? Do you not know what a bruise is??"

Okay, idk. I have no idea how he's gonna react if that happens. I just feel like Hanseo wouldnt be proud of his scars if he didnt get them from trying to save geumga/jipuragi people.

And now im just wondering, what do you think? How would Hanseo react, in your opinion? If the jipuragi trio really did find out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, how would that affect their relationship? Im really curious about what you think

Hhhhhhhh sorry if its too long. I just thought that this might be a good way for Hanseo and jipuragi to kinda get closer with each other...

han seo headcanons (part one)

helloooo, thank you for sending an ask in :D

SORRY this answer is super long and for some reason my phone isn't allowing me to add a keep reading cut thingy, apologies in advance to the amount scrolling you have to do

tw: abuse

i've been thinking so much about this ask and just how han-seo would react to them finding out, and honestly i never really took note of how many long sleeved shirts he wears. i believe han-seok has switched a lot more into emotional manipulation and abuse than physical abuse but he has a lot of anger issues. i'd honestly imagine him using han seo as a punching bag for any and every inconvinence that happens to him, even as an intern.

i also agree with you, han seo is someone who is a very bright personality who tends to hide his hurt and emotions, and he's very very good at it as he has been living under a psychopath his whole life. he's good at hiding his anger (although it definetly bubbles over in smaller outbursts) and especially his hurt (i.e. the scene that han seok throws that candle holder at him and he just smiles back). han seo has a lot of anger at himself for not speaking back or being able to act like himself. like in that scene in the office, you can tell as he curls his fist that he wanted to speak back so badly. even when he finally snaps against han seok, he said "i'm getting tired of being afraid of you." i feel like he'd be embarrassed that even after years, he hasn't been able to escape his abuse

next>

(you can also read the following on ao3)

i feel like this scene and their dynamic would play out something similar to this:

han seo joined the team and has been working with vincenzo and cha-young for around a month. at this point han seo isn't walking on eggshells with both of them, he's a lot more comfortable and visiting their office regularly without choi/han/han seok finding out.

sometimes it's vincenzo and cha-young providing him books to study economics from, maybe even giving some brotherly/sisterly advice to him. every couple weeks, vin and cha-young give him quizzes and slowly, he's getting better and better

over time, he even got closer to the plaza residents (even though the residents were definetly cold to him in the beginning, miri scaring the shit out of him by doing her ghost thing, the lady with the lipstick from bye bye balloon staring him down, snack bar lady refusing to serve him, larry also scaring the shit out of him by doing his zombie routine)

but despite this, they adopt him into their family, han seo doing small errands for the residents, him buying the best coffee, food and getting camera equipment for the snack bar lady's son. han seo gifting the pawnshop couple with cute baby items etc.

(obviously he buys the most expensive shit bc he's still a rich boy, but they dont have to know)

(side note: he'd be fucking adorable with a baby, imagine him being the babies "uncle han seo" who gets them the best gifts !!)

even though he was comfortable with all of them, every once in a while his facade would slip.

every once in a while, someone would make a sharp movement towards him and he'd flinch. or if someone makes a quick step towards him, he'd back up and stiffen up on instinct

even if it was someone patting his back or just making a quick movement, he'd react on instinct from the years of abuse from han seok. but no one ever said anything about it if they noticed.

one afternoon after lunch, they were washing dishes, han seo on washing duty and cha-young drying and placing them back. and han seo was in his full sleeves and cha-young notices his sleeves getting wet

"yah, roll your sleeves back, by the end of this your whole sleeve will be wet! you know how uncomfortable those sleeves would be?"

"ahaha, it's alright noona, i'll be fine"

han seo tries to laugh it off, grining at her with one of his wide grins but there's something off about this one. but cha-young gives one of her patented glares and he rolls them up carefully, shielding his arms from her view, and continues washing the rest.

cha-young doesn't take note of his bruises at first, but noted the care he went through to shield his arms from her. his arms were posed almost awkwardly and he was on high alert

it wasn't until after they both finished and he was drying his hands that cha-young saw the massive bruises he had, climbing up his forearms and under the sleeves

he stiffens when he sees her stare, and quickly tries to cover them but she grabs them before he could hide it

she's completely quiet while she stares at his arms. after a moment, he speaks up

"oh i accidentally banged these against my doorway, they're just small bruises. it's go away in a couple days" he smiles at her again but she could tell from the way his shoulders were frozen and the wavering of his voice that it wasn't the truth

"did he do these?" she asked him, her face completely neutral and her voice barely a whisper. she's still looking at his forearms, her fingers ghosting over the bruises.

han seo just looks down and the silence is enough of an answer for cha-young. he walks away, embarrassed that she found out about it, even though his years of therapy told him that it wasn't never his fault, he still felt the shame and anger of not being able to break free.

he's quiet for the rest of the time, feigning tiredness and finding an excuse to leave the plaza

that night, it was just vincenzo and her working at the office late, in preparation for babel. cha-young's mind was still on what she saw that afternoon. abruptly, she stands up, her hand gripping the pen in her hand as she turned to vincenzo sitting at the other desk.

"did you know that bastard hurt him? he's been abusing han seo this whole time?" she asked vincenzo, her voice seething with anger

"i know."

"you know??? why didn't you ever say anything?"

vincenzo looks up at her from his stack of papers, setting his pen down.

"it wasn't my place. i picked up on it when he flinched when mr. tak reached toward him to place a hand on his shoulder."

cha-young sat back down then, her lips pressed together, and vin went back to his paperwork

"we should get him out of there. who knows what han seok would do in one of his rages?"

"couple nights ago, we went to drink makgeolli and i offered him a way out. i told him if he ever needs to leave, and if he's ready to leave, he has a place at the plaza."

"and is he? leaving that is?"

"no. he thanked me, but said that he needed to stay until his brother and his group crumbles to the ground."

cha-young let out a sigh, biting her lip, the worry on her face all too evident

"hong cha-young byeonosa-nim, we shouldn't baby him. jang han seo deserves revenge against his brother just like we do and the choice is ultimately up to him."

"i know. i just worry."

they stayed quiet for the rest of the night, working late but the topic never leaves cha-young or vincenzo's minds

the next day, han seo avoided her like the plague, not wanting to talk about what she saw yesterday

but while he was studying, she approached him, a glass of juice and a snack in hand, setting it next to him. she checked over his work quietly as he took a break and glanced at his arms, doing a once over just to make sure he didn't get any new ones.

"well done, han seo, you're doing well" she smiled at him and ruffled his hair and han seo let out a breath of relief and gratefulness that she hadn't treated him any different

from then, cha-young and vin only got fonder of han seo and han seo was pretty much adopted by them. after the battle and han seok is in jail permanently, he moves out of his apartment, and gets one closer to the plaza.

mr. nam would show him how the organization worked at jipuragi and put him to work, the paralegal grateful to have an extra hand around the office

eventually, even han seo grows an affection to the instant coffee and buys more for himself and his apartment

vin would take him shopping for suits, both rich boys obsessed with their sleek looks. they take cha-young with them once but she manages to sleep off at every shop they go to.

vincenzo also plays hockey with him regularly and the plaza invites him to plaza game nights. they get up to all kinds of mischief,

han seo loves spicy food, just like cha-young so they make it their mission to go to try every restaurant and compete to see just how much spice they can handle. obviously vincenzo doesn't even make it past the first round of the spice competitions but cha-young and han seo have the same competitive streak that keeps them going

han seo is also dropping hints to both of cha-young and vincenzo that they should get married. constantly teasing vincenzo about cha-young in the way only younger brothers do

obviously on one of cha-young and han seo’s days out, han seo drops hints CONSTANTLY, trying to get her to admit cha young likes vincenzo

and OBVIOUSLY she slips up, and han seo doesn’t let go of it

he does the whole younger brother teasing every single time he catches cha-young glancing at vincenzo at the firm

“cha-young noona and vin hyung, sitting in a tree. K I S S I N—” “HAN SEO!!!”

obviously chayenzo eventually get together but decide to keep it a secret (and of course, they were awful at it)

eventually when they reveal it to the office, mr. nam and han seo react like that one scene in suspicious partner (“quick, act surprised” “*gasp* you guys are together??????? we had no idea!!”)

han seo is basically adopted as a younger brother to both cha-young and vincenzo and even the plaza loves his presence and he gets to have a peaceful existence for the rest of his life

anyways han seo deserves a happy ending with a good family. he deserves a second chance with a family that LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM AND GIVES HIM CHOICES AND ALLOWS HIM TO BE HIMSELF. (and yes this covered more than just one scene but I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON HIM) as always feel free to add on :D

[kdramachitchat]

Hometown Cha Cha Cha episode 3 recap: Hyejin goes on a roadtrip to Seoul and takes care of a patient

Short trip to Seoul

Hyejin invites Dusik and the 3 ladies a trip to Seoul. While driving Hyejin gets into a road rage one of the elder ladies gives the driver who caused a close accident a piece of her mind too. During the trip of course there will be eventual rest stops and bathroom breaks which turns out to be hilarious especially when they bought older music, played it in the car too. Hyejin tells the ladies about her parents when they talk about their family histories. She doesnt have alot of patience and is late. Dusik thanks her for driving the ladies despite her annoyed complaints. Dusik has business in Seoul too, she drops him off and he forgot about his phone. Dusik visits a dentist psychiatrist clinic.

Hyejin attends a dental conference. They all brag about their practices and Hyejin lied about the quality of her dental practice saying that she works in a hospital, also how the seaside is more developed. Hyejin continues to mock them and accidentally meets Dusik. Dusik tells her that he saw her invitation inside the car hence knowing her location. Whiel they were talking, one of her acquaintances saw them both and took photos. While driving around Seoul, Hyejin and Dusik competes themselves about their preferred home. Hyejin says that Seoul is better while Dusik prefers the seaside and tells her how suffocating Seoul is with all the buildings. He got a point. Not everyone is meant for either the city life or the seaside. These 2 are totally polar opposites. Dusik asks her to drop him off at the restaurant as there’s an emergency meeting.

When she returned. One of her acquaintances asks her who the man in the photo is and Hyejin doesnt respond at a classroom groupchat. She defends herself and tells them that he’s not her boyfriend. Zooms in on the photo and tells herself that its not cute, but her expression tells different. A flashback scene of Dusik falling asleep in her car. She feels bad for his uncomfortable sleeping position and adjusts his seat. Dusik notices and he remembers that moment. At night, Dusik had a nightmare and we dont know what. He wakes up and drinks some sort of pills. Maybe it was the reason for him visiting Seoul? Does he have a past that we dont know?

Treating Gamri

As dentist and doctors they dont like patients wasting their time. If they come for a checkup they have to pay. Gamri who is pain wants a implant complaints how the fee is expensive and wants to remove her weak teeth. Since she doesnt want to spend on her treatment and tells them to leave. Respect the doctor’s time, they would rather have time with patient who’s willing to pay and pay attention to rather than not. Dusik complains why she’s rude to Gamri.

He eventually paid for Gamri’s treatment but she threw water at him clearly annoyed and tells him to get lost. Dusik convinces Hyejin to treat Gamri since he’ll be paying. Tells her that Gamri’s completely selfless and yet doesnt take care of herself. Hyejin tells him that Gamri is selfish but defends her and says that she’s the most selfless woman that he’s ever met.

Dusik defends her saying that she burdens herself to take care of her children. Hyejin doesnt understand and its frustrating to watch. She tells him that parents being healthy for a long time is what a good parent is to their kids. So when the kid grows up they wont struggle taking care of their parents. Hyejin has a different upbringing so she couldnt relate. They shouldnt endure the pain just so they could save money for their children. Because in the end children will have to take care of them. Hyejin gets teary eyed and emotional when mentioning this. Leaving Dusik teary eyed too and in shock by her response. A flashback memory of Hyejin and her mother. She sees her mother struggling in pain in the bathroom without her mother knowing that she saw the incident. She was very young when it happened. Then the time they were in Seoul, Dusik observed Hyejin watching a mother-daughter and remembered her saying to him that her mother passed away. He inwardly thinks that Hyejin lied to him and obviously she still remembers her mother.

Dusik gets to know her from this alone and understands her view point. Pains to see that Hyejin didnt really had a good childhood and care. Dusik visits Gamri the next day. Tells her that someone told him advice and repeats Hyejin’s words to Gamri. Gamri thinks about his words and i think she’ll do the treatment. Also the reason why Dusik is paying for Gamri’s treatment is because the son refuses to pay. Hyejin complains about the food she eats and notices how the food is difficult to chew. She probably was reminded of Gamri.

Hyejin sees Gamri’s name and meets her infront of her house and Gamri invites her into her home. Gamri showed her appearance at a tv show. It showecase her father who finally gets recognized as a military man who fought for the country’s independence. The piece of certificate has chinese characters that Gamri couldnt read. Gamri new Dusik as a young boy and read the characters for her. He also showed up in the recorded tape. The taping was aired 2 years ago and Gamri tells her that she was named after the flag. Gamri was very proud of her father. They enjoyed their time together and Hyejin enjoyed her meal. Gamri tells her for driving her to Seoul.

Every visit has a reason, Hyejin tells her that she will give Gamri a discount for the materials that will be used. Hyejin tells her to keep it a secret for the reputation of her clinic. Hyejin tells her that she found out that her favorite food is squid and is reminded of her own mother. She eventually helps her with her implants. Gamri probably noticed and tells her that Dusik likely said something to her to make her change her mind. Gamri tells her Dusik is kind but so nosy. Hehe. Hyejin agrees. Gamri tells her that Dusik hung the bell that she likes so much.

The next day Gamri eventually visits the clinic on her own & pays for the entire fee. Gamri reports to Dusik about her implants and Dusik is shocked by her statement. She complains about her anesthesia wearing off. Dusik is very happy that she got treated and tells him that Ms Yoon visited her and offered her a discount. Gamri tells him that she may look cold as ice but she’s a softie. Gamri tells him that she probably been through alot in her life.

Dusik goes to Hyejin’s house after she reported that her lights went out and apologizes to her for judging her. He finally found the other pair of her shoes and returned it to her. Her lights went back on too. Hyejin tells him that she made a mistake, hopefully after earning money she’ll eventually return to Seoul. But i bet Dusik is hoping that she wouldnt and stay.

The epilogue: Dusik found her other pair of shoes while fishing. It was hiding behind the log. Hahaha. Dusik also makes an effort by searching how to clean up the shoe. Dusik also brought the other pair of shoe when Hyejin wasnt looking and sneaked it back to her shoe closet!

Episode 3 - Dont judge the book by it’s cover. Sometimes the way people act is because they were affected from their past. Hyejin is a good person but sometimes her actions comes off wrong and rude but Dusik sees the light in her and treats her better only when she does treat others better too.

Parents also have the right to live the way they want. They earned it but children will always be their priority but in the end it shouldnt be the end of their own life, not caring for themselves. Take care of yourself then you can take care for others

I also love the hedgehog reference. I always wonder when they're going to bring that up! Theyre sharp on the outside but once being cared for they're soft animals. Hyejin is just misunderstood and Dusik is slowly realizing it.

Honestly find the drama really slow and i understand why some may find this boring but i do appreciate the subtle character development each episode. Dusik seem to slowly be more nice and caring towards Hyejin too. Im not entirely sure about this drama. Its definitely more character driven than plot development and its slower compared to other healing dramas. There isnt much going on but hopefully there’s more to it than what they’re showing.

[winterscaptain]

Changed my mind, can I please have happy thoughts now? What about each Hotchner kid’s first meeting with their namesake and their relationship with them? What that’s like for Soph who never will or how Haley would’ve interacted with her and the other kiddos if she hadn’t died? Would her middle name be different if Haley was still alive? First birthdays? The kids learning to drive and how mom and dad deal with that? Literally anything but the heartbreak I’m feeling now.

of course my love!! this one got long so it lives under a cut

spencer is completely floored - within two weeks he has two little ones that share his name and he LOVES isaac. he and isaac have naturally similar temperaments, and isaac is surprisingly well-versed in finding things they can do together so hank feels included

emily and caroline have a very special relationship. because aaron and emily are (in my opinion) the most like siblings in their temperaments, caroline goes to her for a lot of stuff she wouldnt necessarily tell her parents (not that there’s much - but sometimes you just need your aunt to answer grown up questions.)

sophia doesn’t really need to know haley to have a special relationship with her. in some ways, she’s haley-incarnate. aaron wasn’t kidding when he said it really made mom squint the first couple of times she hit them all with “jack! quit!” or, later, (when you can call your parents by their first names for the meme) “come off it, aaron. give me a break.”

there’s also something in her smile aaron cant quite place. it looks different on her face, of course, but soph and jack’s expressions can be alarmingly similar. sophia would still be named after haley, if she were still alive. though, now that im thinking of it, they probably would have gone for “brooke” instead. 

haley would have been ALL OVER those kids. she’d love them like her own, like mom loves jack, and would probably be the closest person to the family outside of it. she an aaron build enough bridges that all their baggage just goes under it and they can enjoy their decades-long friendship. mom isn’t “mom” to jack - she’s something else, but its still a very special relationship. (i have a fic that covers this coming out on sunday morning)

elliot is dave’s baby. (now that i’ve fixed my chronology errors) he has fourteen years to know his namesake and DAMn is he a sucker. elliot gets is expensive taste, penchant for cooking, and general preference for Doing The Most™ from dave. those two have a very special, if not devious relationship. 

the entire family gets together for every single birthday - kid or grownup - until they either move away or its impractical. they all pull lotteries - each drawing five names - so they don’t go broke getting birthday present for everyone and everyone can still get something. 

dad teaches the kids how to drive because the man didn’t blink when a serial killer shot at him. or...at least that’s what mom says. 

[caps-clever-girl]

god marvel did us dirty by having 2 of the people tony could best get along with on the opposing side of the civil war so that they never had any oppertunity to develop what could have been super good friendships and instead just became Immediate Enimies without even really having exchanged more than a scentence or so first

like bucky and tony? would have been fuckin GREAT together. same ‘i am a shit’ sense of humour, Much Mischief bois, used to steve’s patent brand of bullshittery, and very sarcastic. bucky’s a big believer in sticking together and credit where credit is due and accepting help, and is interested in tech. tony kind of has the tech thing, you know, covered - i wanna see tony explaining improvements or ideas for buckys arm and bucky actually following along.

i also wanna see tony stick fridge magnets to that arm and bucky follow up by putting pudding in tony’s pillowcase, or hello kitty magnet’s on the suit’s ass. c’mon giys think of the prank wars.

bucky moving things around in the lab and driving tony fucking bonkers.

discussing hair care

constant comments about how hot the other one is because they are both Massive Flirts and oh god stop. stop guys please.

bucky: you cant stop love sam

sam: bucky no

tony: bucky yes

sam: tony no

bucky: tony yes

i want some reporter trying to one-up them and tony and bucky sharing a Very Specific eye-roll before teaming up to seamlessly oblitterate the guy with the smooth and smart fast-talk, just absolutely bouncing off of eachother.

i want them coming to trust eachother, culminating in bucky letting tony work on and eventually replace his prosthetic arm. unexpectedly, tony repays him by letting him suggest ideas for his suit (and others) and letting him take a deeper look.

i want them bonding over experiences with ptsd, trying to help eachother out with tips for panic attacks and grounding methods. i want them to talk about howard and maria, about how they were good friends with bucky but how howard wasnt the best dad, and about their death, and i want them to bond over their mind-controll experiences.

and scott - come on. that sarcastic little shit? if they’d have met different ways you can fucking garentee that he and tony would have gotten along like a house on fire. i mean:

ah yes, first instinct. lets just have a sit down in an abandoned car. these two tired dumbass/smartass dads could be on SUCH the same wavelength. PLUS THE STARK/PYM RIVALRY???? absolutely DELICIOUS and you cannot tell me that scott wouldnt absolutely delight in it.

hank: tony stark is a bastard and his technology is SHIT

scott: he got me a starbucks yesterday actually i think hes pretty great

hank: you whore

breaking in somewhere together??? iron man 3 tony and scott going balls to the wall to gain access to some dickwad’s secret base? do u send in the 2 master spies? no, u send in the booby trap boy and the catburglar. the Big Brain moments they would have with their cool ass tech and pure Skills sneaking in and also simoultaneously knocking over something very expensive because they are so stupid!!

scott introducing tony to every ant he knows and tony keeps pretending he doesnt give a shit but that one is called ANT-onio Banderas and its nuzzling him oh god babies

these two smart dudes trying in an absolute PANIC over something their kids have done like scrape a knee and the kid listens to twenty minuets of them hyperventilating before going ‘i put a plaster on like quarter of an hour ago, its fine’. tony making something Cool and New and Better Than Pym’s Bullshit Ain’t That Right Langy and scott having a reasonable idea of what it does but still managing to both use it to hide steves shield somewhere dumb and also blow it up ten seconds after shouting ‘hey tones i think i got the hang of this!’ tony and scott working together on a new project, surrounded by paper and plans and bits of wire and covered in dinosaur and princess plasters from all the little electric shocks they keep getting, getting hours deep into conversations about tech and ideas.

ant-sized scott accidentally flipping tony over his shoulder and across the room when tony offered him a finger to shake instead of his hand. tony accidentally smacking a pint-sized scott into a ceiling light.

teaching their kids how to prank the other avengers and how to Suddenly And Conveniently Dissapear afterwards - and to make IMMEDIATE BAMBY EYES if caught. scott basically using tony as a sugar daddy and wanting to get bagels or ice cream or starbucks and whining like a child until tony gives him ten bucks. (scott knowing tony’s preferences by heart and always getting him something too.) the two of them lovestruck by super cool women who can and have handed them their respective asses on multiple occasions. verbally oblitterating anyone who opposes them and also being able to absolutely bullshit their way out of any situation because they are Liars and Good At It.

bonding over the heavy responsibility of using powerful technology for the greater good that they kind of inherited from people they want to live up to but also be better than, and scared of what would happen if that trusted tech fell into the wrong hands. taking that tech and making it theirs and only theirs. concepts of identity. and bonding over wanting to be the best example for their kids and give them everything, and trying to make sure they dont make the same mistakes as they did. i mean, scott understood why tony wasn’t willing to help at first in endgame - sure it fucking killed him, but the most important thing to him is cassie, and he gets that tony doesnt want to risk basically making morgan never exist. if the roles were reversed then could he make the choice? could he face up to the posibility of dooming cassie to get hope and her parents back? like these guys have so much to Talk about. theres a level of insintric understanding that just wasn’t explored.

like look at all the cool shit we could have had, but no, just Outright Hatred.

[arthurflecksgirl]

Up on stage /Arthurs POV

My version of Arthur stand up comedy scene at Pogos

I`m standing at the corridor at Pogo`s, checking my journal. The dim, green light should calm me down but it doesnt. The guy upstage is telling some lame jokes about sex. People approve.They always do when it comes to jokes about sex. I`m not sure why they do, I barely understand the punshlines myself. But I guess I have to work on that. I barely listen to him because I´m up next and my mind is all over the place, trying to focus on what to do as soon as I pass that doorway, telling myself that I practiced this the best way possible.

My hair looks fine, I wear some decent clothes, put two  sleeping pills in my mothers oath meal. And cologne.The expensive cologne I stole a couple of days ago is for Sophie. She must be sitting in the audience already, waiting to see my show. Thats what makes me most nervous. Everyone`s opinion is important to me but hers hits different. I really want to be that special guy to her. The funny one that makes her laugh on a cloudy day. And it`s cloudy outside. And inside and inside of me. But I bet inside of Sophie the sun never sets. I imagin her at a beach. Sun kissed skin, the smell of salt and the wind in her hair. I`ll play her some songs. taking her hand, walking barefoot through the sand.....Another daydream palying in my head.

I cant wait to see her beautiful eye lightening up, whileshe is laughing at my jokes. She never heard one of my jokes and I`m pretty nervous about it, but I guess thats the whole point.  I gotta get through this to suceed . The funny thing is... I WANT to be onstage.  But at the same time I get so nervous and all sweaty because I want to get it right. I always put pressure on myself when I want to get it right. But I need it to be a perfect experience for everyone in this room. I want them to remember me and go like "Wow, this Artur guy, he really made me laugh. His jokes are the BEST." That would make me proud of mysef.

"I think most woman look at sex like buying a car.You know like, can I see myself in this long term? Is it save? Is it reliable? Could it kill me? "....

I try not to concentrate on the comedians voice. His freaking jokes are distracting me. I don`t think he`s funny at all.

Is my hair still okay? I check it. Ran my fingers through it carefully as I make my way to the doorway and wait for my name to be called. I take a deep breath. Sweaty palms and all. A scratchy feeling in my throath. Calm down Arthur, this is what you want in life. Right? This is your dream. You can make it!

"Alright this next comedian describes himself as a lifelong Gotham resident, who from a young age was always told that his purpose in life was to bring laughter and joy into this cold dark world...."

I notice that he holds in for a second "Um...okay....." .I dont like the sarcastic undertone in his voice. He acts like I made too much of a deal out of this. Like the world isnt even THAT dark. Let me tell you it is. It is for people like me.  Nevermind this guy. I just spotted   Sophie sitting in the back. Beautiful as usual. I wonder if my name is echoing in her head. ARTHUR.

"Please help me welcome Arthur Fleck, Yàll. Arthur Fleck".

Alright. Thats my call. The applouse feels good but bittersweet. Like a summer rain at the end of a hot day.  I wave at Sophie and smile at her. Disctraction. A good one but I stumbe, tryng not to let it show how much this was setting me off.

Smile Artur. Smile. You practiced this a thousand times at home.

I place myself in front of the mircrophone and take a look at the audience. Its my job to make them happy now. They are waiting for me to make them happy. All that weight on my shoulders. But I know I can do this. I`ve got my journal with me and some jokes to tell. I try to breathe but its hard. Like the breath itself got stuck in my throath and transformed into something else. Manifesting into a bundle of fear. My forehead feels hot. I guess its glimmering from sweat. The spotlights will make it show. People will notice how nervous I am. Thats no good. Not at all. But I can do it. and I will. I just have to tell them...

"Hello....."

Fuck! My voice is nothing but a whisper that cracks under the weight that is shadowing my heart. I`m short of air and I know what this means. Its the first sign of the laughter trying to get through. .

Why Arthur? You are where you supposed to be. On stage!”

I`m talking to myself in my head. Which makes it even worse. Having a conversation with myself never managed to calm me down before. Why do I even try? Its hot. Its all so hot. This room, the spotlights, my skin,... And tight. I`m trapped in a little box. This room is the box and my body is another and my mind is another. And my breath is filling all the boxes and it can`t escape. I can`t breathe.

Funny when you think about how much I wanted to be here.

I giggle to myself. Swallow a quiet laugh. My eyes searching for something to focus on.There is nothing. "Hm hm hm hm hm..." I hear myself chuckeling. I havent even said  another word. This is going to be harder than I thought. I try  to hold thats smile. For them. For Sophie. Maybe they all think this is part of my act.

"Hello, good to be here....."

Hearing myself trying to make it though is painful and hilarious at the same time. I feel the pain but this other part of me? Makes nothing but fun of it. Maybe this other part is right after all. Maybe this part is the better comedian. Tragic comedy was always my favorite. Its so close to real life. Whatever that means.

I crack up, turning my back on the audience so  can`t see my face. I dont want them to see my pain. They would be so irritated. Not sure if this works as a part of my act anymore. This has already gone too far.

They`ll think there is something wrong with me. I know it. They now realize. They will think I´m a freak. Proof them wrong, Arthur! You`ve got some jokes in your pocket and they will work so well ! I lean forward, laughing  hard covering my mouth with my hands. This never works. My lungs start to hurt.

C`mon . tell that joke you just figured out. Its a good one. They will love it. And if they`ll love it, they will love you.

"I hated...."  hm uurg... I  need some air.

My heart is pounding  in my chest. I thought I would feel like a big star up on stage but the world gets bigger and I am small. So small. I dissappear for a second and i keep coming back.

I cant keep up with it. My hand grabs my throath . Painful laughter. I close my eyes for a sec, trying to imagin empty seats. Only Sophie being left. Does it help? No. I need my audience. I need people to see me.

The world gets smaller. All the world is being trappeed in this tiney room right now. And I get bigger. I grow out of myself.Like a plant towards the spotlight.

Thinking about Alice in wonderland.

One pill makes you smaller. The other one makes you taller....

A cough.

"I....I hated scool as a kid....." hahahhahahahahah.

Flashbacks torture my mind. My teacher yelling at me to stop laughing. He looks like Hoyt. Me hiding behind the trash cans after scool so the other kids wouldnt find me and call me a freak. My small body filled with tears but not one comes out. Only laughter. Their voices when they found me. "Do you think thats funny, Arthur? Do you really think thats a joke?"

I bury my face in my elbow, hoping the laughter wouldnt be as loud. Trying to avoid standing in front of the mic.

For god`s sake Arthur, just tell your joke.

I stand up straight and look at the people sitting in their seats. I cant really see their faces or reactions. But its quiet. Too quiet. They dont know what to do. Just like me. Just like me. Just like me.  What should I possibly do to save the evening?

"I hated scool as a kid" ...hahaha....

"My mother would say * You should enjoy it. One day you have to work for a living*"

Oh I did a great job imitating her voice. I`m finally on the right path to do this.

"No I won`t Ma. I`m gonna be a comedian"...... hahahahahahahahha.....

..

No laughter? Its so quiet. Too quiet.

I look up to Sophie. She`s smiling and I´m proud of myself.

Time for the next one...

Oh my god.

Whats up next? I can`t remember.

I nervously turn the pages with shaky hands and sweaty palms. All i can find are pornographic cut outs. People notice and the`re laughing. More than they did at my joke. Shit. I dont want this to get out of hands. This was just getting better.

."Um...." I go through some more pages. This is for Sophie. She smiled once and I will make her smile again.

"Here`s one....! You know...I was just thinking the other day: Why are the rich people so confused all the time?"

My journal says POOR people but I dont notice because all I can think of is Sophie.

Rich or poor...poor or rich... Its people in general that doesnt make any sense.

But then suddenly...I do!

I`m starting to make sense right now. Here up on stage with smiling Sophie looking at me with her dark, shiney eyes.

The music starts playing. What a perfect timing.

"Because they dont make any cents!"

I spread my arms and people start laughing.

What a great punchline.

The spotlight kisses me softly.

I killed it tonight.

Finally.

[ushijimasgirlfriend]

tsukishima-you come home after school and tsukishima is mad at you.

warning:degrading, cussing, rough sex, slapping, daddy kink, cheating. 🧍🏻‍♀️

you come home from a long day at school. you wonder where tsukishima is because because he didnt walk you home today. you walk in the door and see tsukishima in the living room watching tv. you greet him but he ignores you.

‘tsuki’ you say louder. he still ignores you. you walk over to him look in his eyes while he ignores you still and continues to look at the tv. you sit on his lap whispering ‘is daddy mad at me?’ as you stroke his cock through his pants. you moan in his ear just to get a reaction out of him. he grabs your waist and pushes you off of him.

you look at him as he gets up and leaves to your guys bedroom. you hear the door slam and you walk in just to bother him. he’s sitting on his chair while logging into his laptop. you turn the chair as he rolls his eyes. mmmm daddy tell me what i did wrong. or i’ll just go out to hang out with the boys at practice, you shouldn’t have skipped. he grabs your shirt aggressively and your waist and throws you on top of him. ‘stop being a whore, not that i care but you look stupid when you flirt with kageyama.’

your eyes widen. you laugh ‘ohhh soo that’s why daddy has an attitude. c’mon baby jealousy doesn’t look good on you.’ im not jealous im just saying how much of a fucking slut you look like, i mean someone should tell you.’ you whisper in his ear ‘oh baby no one cares but you. but maybe if you would pay attention to me i wouldnt have to go to your friends for some extra fucks. maybe they know how to treat my pussy right.’ you reach down his pants.

after he hears that he grabs both of your wrists and runs you right into the wall ‘really y/n, cause that’s not what yachi thinks. you wanna ask how her fuck with me went? here, thats her number. ask.’ you look him dead in the eye as he tightens his hands around your wrist behind your back while you’re against the wall. you spit in his face ‘fuck you. you cheated on me?! i fucking hate you tsukishima.’ he smirks, ‘c’mon baby tell me why you’re mad’ while he slides his hand down your pants with the other one holding on to your wrist. you can feel his long ass fingers against your clit, rubbing it faster and faster. you moan ‘tsukki stop, let go of me.’ he responds in a deeper tone ‘is this how you want kageyama to finger fuck you.’ as he slides your dripping wet panties to the side and slips in a finger. your legs get weak and he notices.

he picks you up still while his finger is in your pussy. he puts you on the bed ‘i hope after this you learn your fucking lesson you dirty slut.’ he slips in two more fingers and blows on your sensitive clit. you moan his name except not tsuki’s, kageyama’s. ‘omg- tobio fuck’ he stops looks at you in disbelief. ‘you did that on fucking purpose you dirty slut.’ you smirk. he then takes out his fingers and shoves them in your mouth. ‘shut up don’t make this worse for you.’ he sits back on his chair and says ‘strip for me.’

you just laugh in his face. you spread your legs open while your panties are still on the side of your pussy. you move it back on properly and ignore his request. ‘alright y/n you asked for it. you’re going to regret this.’ as he walks over to you with his head down, his hair covering his whole face but his evilish smirk. he takes your skirt and rips it off of you along with your wet panties he snaps it off and it leaves your thighs red. you gasp and try and cover yourself. and then wraps his big hand around your neck. ‘wanna try and take off the rest or are you going to be just as stubborn.’ you try and get up, just as he grabs both of your arms pinning you down on the bed. ‘fine i’ll do it for you.’ he then, again rips off your shirt and just looks at you with only your bra on. you look at him and say ‘that shit was expensive.’ he groans. he whispers in your ear and says ‘kageyama can buy you some more darling.’ just to make him mad, ‘oh yeah of course he would.’

he then gets on top of you moving his knee in between your bare thighs. he takes one finger and wraps it around your bra and rips it off as aggressively as possible. ‘baby, you’re naked. you look like such a fucking whore.’ he gets up and walks over to his dresser. he pulls out hand cuffs. your eyes widen, you think to yourself ‘WHAT THE FUCK-OK JESUS IM FUCKED I SHOULDNT HAVE MESSED WITH HIM.’ your jaw drops. ‘wha-what is that.’ he smirks ‘dont act stupid baby. i told you youre going to regret this.’ you try and squirm away but he catches you and pins you down again. you just look at him. he turns you around and slaps your ass. you scream in pain, but you actually kind of like it.

he turns you back around and grabs your wrist and you try and get away but it’s too late, he has you cuffed onto the bed. he laughs in your face while he cuffs your other wrist and ankles to the bed. ‘look at me and dont break eye contact.’ he takes off his shirt revealing his abs, your pussy tightens and he notices he stops what hes doing and goes down on you, just blowing on your bare cunt. ‘your pretty pussy looks real alone without kageyama. you’re so wet baby, i barley did anything to you.’ you moan tsukishimas name. ‘fuck tsuki stop playing with me.’ he whispers in your ear. ‘now youre screaming my name. how pathetic.’

he continues undressing unbuckling his belt and taking off his jeans and boxers reaveling his 12 inch hard cock. he takes his belt and hits your thighs hard as possible with it. ‘FUCK tsuki.’ you try and pull away but you can’t because you’re tied up.

tsukki moves all the way up slowly to your ear and whispers ‘where’s the consent baby?’ you turn to him and kiss his neck. ‘go baby i want your cock.’ he looks and you and smirks. he starts spreading your thighs even more to open up your pussy. he then starts to aggressively eat you out. you jolt back and moan his name. sticking his finger in your pussy then two more streching you out while still eating you out he slaps your thigh. ‘tsuki i’m going to cum.’ he groans going faster ‘whats my name?’ ‘tsukishima k-kei. omg im going to cum daddy please go faster.’ you cum on his face as your body jolts fatser but he doenst stop. still while you are having your orgasm he quickly shoves his hard cock in your pussy. ‘tsukki oh my god fuck.’ ‘i can feel your body twitching baby this is what you get. you did that all on purpose.’

thrusting his cock in and out, you moan and scream and squirm non stop aggressively. you hear both of your skin clapping against each other. ‘yeah is this what you wanted? for me to rail you so hard?’ you let out a ‘yes daddy. it feel so good.’ tears falling on the side of your face because it hurts and burns but it feels so good. ‘yeah i bet it does you dirty slut. youre going to obey me. and if i see you flirt with kageyama again i wont hesitate to beat the living shit out if him.’ you moan and just nod at him. as you both reach your climax he groans loud and pounds you hard. you both cum and you feel him fill your insides. when you cum on his cock. he pulls out and hovers over you panting hard.

he takes off the cuffs and throws on boxers and wraps you in a blanket. he lays next to you and says ‘good girl. dont do that again.’ you hug him and he wraps hig arm around your waist.

okay so this is my second time writing one and i dont know if there were typos there prolly was but yeah check out my last post please it was my first one ive ever posted enjejejehehehehe.

[cometcrystal]

employee A cried today because we were all told we’d either get raises or bonuses and this was affecting everyone and then when our manager called he told me anyone who makes under X amount of money per hour will get a raise and people above that will get a raise or increase. but he told her Y amount of money. and he told both of us that this wasn’t to be discussed with anyone at (bank name) whatsoever and people have lost their jobs over that. but then he’s telling me something different from what he told employee A. employee B is a travel teller so her manager is different but she was told not to discuss it either and was told a 3rd thing. anyway employee A cried because either her raise was pitiful or she wasn’t getting anything, i wasn’t clear on which, and she’s been absolutely busting her ass working for this place and doesn’t make enough to cover her living expenses. and i don’t blame her at all. she does both her job AND our manager’s job, AND she comes in on her off week when she’s told even though 1. we’re told we can’t mix teams but like our manager only cares about that when it affects him and also he keeps taking fucking vacations and going to the beach jesus fucking christ 2. he can’t be assed to come in on HIS off week to cover her and he cites the “can’t mix teams” excuse for that. but still calls her in. but he can’t be called in. and when he IS here he’s taking 2 and 3 hour lunches and getting mad when me and the other low-level teller have to get his override on stuff when other people aren’t available to override us and he basically doesn’t wanna do his fucking job and he’s getting away with it because for some reason the division VP thinks the sun shines out of his ass. at least 4 people i can think of off the top of my head WITHIN THE BRANCH have complained about him and the VP just says people are ganging up on him

a guy had an appointment today to come and deposit a bunch of rolled change since it wouldnt fit in the drive thru and he was using it as an excuse to talk to employee A because he likes her so before he came in she told us “give him 10 minutes and if he’s still here go in the bathroom and call the branch from your cell and we’ll fake a phone call to get him out” which is exactly what we did and it took TWO fake phone calls, one from me and one from her friend she texted, with the imaginary tasks of recounting the atm and calling the back office, to get him to leave. AND! when she let him out of the building, he asked her if she wanted to go out sometime. and she said im not looking to date anyone right now. and he said i didn’t say date i said go out. and she said i’m not looking to go out with anyone right now

the moral of these two stories are to unionize, to discuss salaries freely, that managers are not your friends, and men are literal fucking rats and every single one of them needs to be fucking decked in the face

[transrightsjimin]

im sorry im not rly in the BE hype atm :((

rant coming which has nothing to do w the album but everything w stress nd fatigue nd crying nd more job stress nd sensory overload and me turning everything into a worse issue in my head etc etc

i was this morning when i saw the mv nd watched the vlive but i obv slept way too few bc i went to bed late nd woke up early for the live and i had to rush a lot w errands nd an appointment w my autism coach nd at said appointment we called a dude from the municipality to inquire abt jobcoaches nd it turned out we misunderstood what jobcoaches are as they are who u get referred to when u have a job, nd the guy found it hard to figure out what type of trajectory(?) would best fit me for help nd now i have time to think abt it and will speak him again in 2 weeks or sooner if i want to. im just so tired nd a bit hungry and on edge and one sec, im in the side of the house tht faces kids playing around aka screeching as if theyre dying every second nd its majking me only more on edge!!!!

but urgh i cried so bad during the appointment and was prob way too rudde to her before the appointment, bc she talks loudly nd sounds rude nd confronting but just naturally bc ofher tone nd language nd urghgh h thikning abt jobs nd trying to talk nd not cry too hard when trying to explain stuff to the man over the phone was rly hard, like obv its fine if he knows im crying but its just hard to talk when crying nd im just so devastated thinking abt jobs!! i dont know what type of job i could handle nd it feels like im making everythig up bc i did somehow finish two studies in uni and im privileged enough w education and whiteness tobe more easily selected for a job by e.g. last name on my cv and i shouldnt be this picky but god i cant handle smth as physically demanding and underpaid as this, im tired 4/7 days that im not working nd what i earn in those 3 days is still not enough to cover rent bc they pay only for the delivery time itself instead of more hours!!! it just feels like wtf am i doing bc the municipality guy did admit im not the usual person he works w bc i had an education, as if i dont belong in the group but its really just an issue of having -100 confidence and no job experience!! like i rly dont strive for a fancy job or ‘’’career’’’, i just bneed something that i can pay my monthly expenses w and have a bit left to save up for e.g. emergencies, additional medical bills (like the 350 euros from the adhd diagnosis and therapy, which my autism coach will contact my adhd therapist abt, like if that bill can be delayed or split up in a payment plan), paying back for loan debt eventually and MAYBE soon god forbid i save up for smth fun. and i “need” the job also to have a daily activity and some structure in my life bc a large part of the reason my schedule is so fucked up is bc i have no more set time tht i need to be anywhere or any strictness or reason to get up nd so i just dont ghhh

im always looking for reasons why i cant do smth and why smth would go wrong and im already looking at every area where getting help w getting a job can go wrong like e.g. me being too stubborn abt companies i dont agree w or me thinking i cant do anything just bc i have not much working experience outside of mail delivery :(

nd then there was this A B C task list system my adhd therapist proposed in wihc i keep track of my most to least urgent + important tasks every day nd we werent sure where to keep track of that kind of list and she suggested sticking a paper to a wall (i think id rather use my wardrobe) to write it on and change or replace that every day and it sounds like a hassle but i rly need to do it every day, nd i can try other methods but thatd be either writing it on my phone but im not always on there nd theres not a type of file i can make that doesnt move back chronologically as i make new notes

ALSO im just very frustrated w myself bc my mom wanted to come over w food and i know she was too sudden w it but if only i left on time for the stores it wouldnt have been an issue. i feel like shes rly sad she couldnt come visit. fucking hell i rushed so much back and forth from the stores that i forgot to put the leftover letters from work yesterday into the outdoor mailbox and i already stress abt this bc my current teamcoach (aka manager) is more stricter w this stuff nd recently asked for a statement / explanation by me on why there were 29 letters w/o sticker from a route i did  counted from the collected mail that were in outdoor mailboxes, and i did not do that but my only alibi / reason for not making that huge mistake was that i hadnt posted any mail yet that day and obv he wasnt happy w that. i sometimes had dreams / nightmares recently where i was late again or fucked up w a new route and got fired for it and thats quite an awful scenario / fear to me bc thats exactly why my dad was fired by his previous employee, for being late too often nd we’re the exact same. it just sucks bc i know many ppl who worry abt being late arrive to early at shit bc lol anxiety but i still arrive late every day WHILE being stressed abt it nd my whole fucking issue is that i need to break w bad patterns MYSELF, like whether i get help for autism stuff or adhd or sleep or whatnot, the homework / assignments / tasks / advice they give me, in the end i still need to be the one to do it and push through and make a change or put more effort into not going continuously back to the same distractions or demotivating black-white thinking

just URGH im so easily annoyed nd sensitive, also as in sensitive on a tactile level nd it doesnt help tht my room is a mess nd im super stinky from bts BE excitement and from squeezing my skin a lot last night, nor does the fact that i have rly bad coordination / awareness of my surroundings nd continuously bumping into shit or getting caught on smth help, which is also another reason im just so slow at work bc if i try to walk or deliver mail faster i keep end up bruising nd tripping or tear my hands on all these hard to move or sharp mail box slots if im not careful nd slower, which does still happen but not as bad when im careful

im also rly dizzy rn from haing slept too few and just urgh i “need“ a stupid fucking job, i need the money i need the structure but my god does actual labour and having to deal w colleagues every day and trying to keep up w stuff and be fast and precise enough in whatever the job is, sound horrifying hhhgghgh

OK RANT OVER IM SICK OF ME TALKING SO MUCH

[lady-charinette]

For the fics request... Can you write Kinabra with the prompt "Boyfriend"? Maybe with Fairy Tail finally learning who Kinanas boyfriend is?

Ever since the events of the big battle with Alvarez, Fairy Tail had taken a long, well deserved break. For the past year or so, the scattered members of the guild relocated to live back in Magnolia, living close to the decimated guildhall.

They'd been working slowly to build it back up, trying to salvage what they could of the shambles the battle had left it in.

Among the enthusiastic mages, Kinana and Mirajane handed out drinks as refreshments on the warm day, before resuming their own construction work on the support beams.

Mirajane glanced worriedly at the purple haired woman, a crease forming between her brows. "Kinana, won't you take a break? You've worked all day."

The novice take-over mage wiped the sweat from her forehead but a large smile stretched her lips, handing Jet another wooden beam produced by Laki. "I'm fine! Don't worry, everyone's been working so hard, so I will too!"

The concern remained on Fairy Tail's demon, but she didn't breach the subject again for a while. It had only been a second she'd turned around, bending to pick up more planks, when the accident had happened.

Kinana had lost her footing on a stray piece of wood on the ground behind her, losing her balance and hand reflexively grabbing onto the nearest object: a board.

A long board with a bucket full of sharp tools, which tilted and began raining down on her fallen form.

Guild members turned their heads but none of them could react fast enough. Natsu, Gray, Elfman and Droy had begun to run towards her but they wouldn't reach her in time.

The damage wouldn't have been severe but the shriek that left her lips was more from the shock of falling than the tools about to fall upon her, alongside the heavy wooden plank.

Mirajane's shout to Kinana cut off when a blur whirled past her and scooped the purple haired woman off the ground, right before the tools and wood fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Kinana found herself cradled in a warm, strong embrace, held closely to a solid chest.

Her eyes flew open and met black.

That scent-!

The voice-!

She would recognize it anywhere and when she finally lifted her head to look up at her savior, tears stung the corner of her eyes. "Erik!"

A haughty grin curled the roguish man's lips and he carefully set her on her feet, warm hand still steadying her back. He still kept close to her but was surprised when she fell back into his arms in a tight hug. He chuckled, gaze softening. "Hey."

"I-I didn't think you'd be back!" she rubbed her face into his chest, trying to memorize his scent so close to her, the voice, his voice whispering in her head like a low soothing lullaby.

A hand rested warmly on top of her head and a thumb wiped away her tears. "Well, looks like I can't leave you alone with danger all around you." he chuckled and nuzzled his forehead against her own, Kinana revelled in the affectionate attention.

"HEY!" the enraged shout caused the couple to whirl their heads towards the source of it, an angry pink-haired dragonslayer stomping his way towards them with smoking nostrils.

Natsu stopped just short of them, eyes catching sight of the hand curled protectively around Kinana's waist. "What are you doing out of prison?" green eyes narrowed suspiciously at the former criminal.

Erik's grin widened, amused at the dragonslayer's reaction. "To visit my girlfriend of course."

Silence settled heavily over the present guild members and Makarov slumped back in his wheelchair, the love drama unfolding too much for his heart that day. Erza fretted over him worriedly, but a light swat to his head by Porlyusica made him yelp in pain.

"G-GIRLFRIEND?!" It seemed the whole guild had shouted the words in unison, Kinana's red face buried into the former Oracion Seis member's side. "SINCE WHEN!?"

"Umm.." sensing his girlfriend's discomfort, Erik pulled her closer into his side, glaring venomously at the fire dragonslayer.

"Oi, get out of my face, you're making my girlfriend uncomfortable." Erik's pointed jab made flames burst from Natsu's mouth, who looked ready to brawl right then and there.

"N-Natsu, wait just a minute!" Lucy walked over and grabbed the man's shoulder, trying to calm him down. "Kinana, is that true?"

The woman nodded, grabbing her boyfriend's hand shyly. A very light blush flushed on the man's face and he tried playing it off, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Kinana with him?"

"I never knew Kinana liked bad boys..."

"Bad boys? He used to be an enemy!"

"Yeah, but he's kind of hot..."

"They would look good together."

The thoughts of the various guild members filtering through his ears made the poison dragonslayer grimace, clicking his tongue and curling his arm around Kinana's waist, steering her away from the slack jawed Fairy Tail mages. "H-Hey!"

Natsu looked ready to argue, but surprisingly it was Gajeel of all people to stop him with a iron pole to the face. "Knock it off, fire breath!"

Erik glanced over his shoulder at the iron dragon slayer, catching the brief look of something in his red eyes.

It looked like sympathy.

No, maybe not sympathy, but an emotion that spoke of a familiarity, as if he had experienced that too.

Love.

Erik's gaze traveled to a pregnant-looking, small woman with blue hair who laughed at the iron dragon and a small knowing smirk stretched his lips.

So he did understand, after all.

Smiling at Kinana's stunned look, Erik lightly kissed her cheek. "Are you hungry? Want to grab some dinner?"

The look in her eyes spoke volumes and pride and affection swelled within his chest, emotions he thought he wouldnt experience ever again.

She leaned into his side comfortably, her smile contagious as his own one nearly split his face. "Mhm, I would love to, Erik!"

Dragon slayer and take-over mage walked away from the bunch of mages, a four way brawl between Natsu, Gajeel, Gray and Elfman already in the way.

"Love is manly!"

"Shut up! He's a jerk!"

"Who isn't a jerk to you Natsu?!"

"What did you say Gray?!"

"Oi! Get the hell away from Levy! She's pregnant you dumbass!"

As the customary fight ended with a not so gentle reprimand from Erza, destroying another barely standing construction, Makarov felt his soul leave his body at the thought of how much jewels they needed to cover all the expenses.

I'm sorry if its OOC! It's my first time writing Kinabra! ^_^ Hope you liked it!

[erikismybitch]

Waiting In Vain : Chapter 16

Bad Day.

Months had passed by. And the duo’s relationship had only went up from the beginning. Marley was surprised that she was not tired of Erik, there was never even a point where she wanted to be away from him. Of course they both had to live their separate lives , but being together was euphoric . Marley had never felt quite like this before , even with other man that she loved . This felt different.

Yes, she knew that it was love .

That’s what she told him, and even though he hadn’t said it back yet , she felt content . Marley couldnt hold how she felt about him in . She had to let him know she loved him one night , while there were laying on her couch . “We good , Marley” was all he said . He just held her tight until she fell sleep in his arms.

Erik showed her how much he cared for her every day. Flowers because it was Wednesday , foot massages when she was tired . Food whenever she was hungry and he even helped her find a new job . Marley was no longer faced with irritable complaints from consumers over the net . And no more slaving for the drunk men down at the bar with Becky.

Marley was now a proud employee at Steinway. Steinway was a global company . A trusted billion dollar business who created technology that controled security systems for some of the worlds most prestigious places . Mass museums, federal reserve, and most of all, protected government agencies .

Marley had a degree , but her major in Liberal arts she knew, would not get her in the door. Erik made her apply anyway .

“They might not even know they need you, always go for the job you think you won’t get” He encouraged her one night , while eating those famous tacos and watching Game of Thrones.

One resume, an exceptional cover letter written by Erik, and two interviews later...Marley was hired to assist the head of public relations. Her duty was only to serve the person who protected the brand of the company . Marley had been there for a while now, and was making a good amount of money.

It was her birthday on this day. She never made a big deal about it . Marley hadn’t had a party since her mom died . So to her , it was just another day . Most people in her life didn’t know when it was, just the few who were close to her . Becky knew and called her early in the morning with a long drawn out version of the birthday song . In the past , Tiana and her aunt didn’t even acknowledge her birthday. Trey would always buy her something expensive, but nothing memorable or noteworthy.

Erik knew that it was her birthday. Of course he was away for work, or whatever he did . Erik admitted... or hinted that his job wasn’t exactly what he told her before . She didn’t press him, but at times she questioned if what he did was legal . The gun was still in his dresser . “It’s not necessarily illegal” he’d toy with her mind whenever she asked him . She was no stranger to crime, seeing as Trey was the poster child for that . But he wasn’t as secretive as Erik . Nor was he as well paid .

Marley hadn’t talked to him all day . After numerous attempts at calling him, she figured he was busy . Until it came to the end of her work day . Her stress level was through the roof , constantly staring at her cellphone. Hoping that the next notification would be from Erik. That’s all she wanted . No party, no gifts , just Him.

Marley had received a birthday card signed by most of the employees . She knew it probably was company policy, but she was thankful . Marley had been there a little under two months , so most people didn’t know her well . To who she assumed was the head of the employee committee, walked by and wished her happy birthday . Marley had just finished typing the notes from the meetings her boss had. It was almost five , and she was off at four thirty .

The days leading up to her birthday were always filled with anxiety . She knew she would cry , she cried on her birthday every year . From loneliness, feeling like she was aging and yet so far behind in life . Most of all, she cried because it was another year without her mom. All day she had been fighting back her tears with fake thoughts of being happy . It was working, for now but she knew that eventually she would break . Becky begged Marley to come to the bar around seven that night . Before the sports crowd packed the bar . Becky wanted to give her gift before her work shift . Marley figured she’d eat fatty bar food and take a few shot alone. Or with some of her old co-workers. Ones who actually knew her and would be semi-genuine .

Since she was leaving later than usual, she was in a rush . The Steinway building was half an hour from her apartment . With traffic she would get home around six, that didn’t give her much time to get ready . Marley logged out of her work computer , gathered her belongings and rushed the halls to the elevator. She dashed through lobby to get to her car . Her phone buzzed in her hand , excitedly she glanced at it , praying that it was Erik . Marley didn’t even see the burly white guy walking towards her . She ran right into him and almost fell to the ground . He seemed to be in a rush much like her . All Marley could see was the back of his red slick hair and the flag of the Netherlands on his arm. Marley knew that because her old college roommate was from the Netherlands and had a flag on her side of the wall .

“Excuse you, fucking jackass!” Marley shouted . The rude guy was already outside of the building. Being the only black women in the lobby, everyone’s eyes were drawn to her already . Even more now since she shouted. She wanted badly to yell at them too for not addressing the man who almost knocked her down .

But , it was her birthday. She had some place to be.

She made it to her car , but she was still boiling with anger . Especially after she gave calling Erik one more shot . He didn’t pick up. “Fuck it!” She screamed , then punched her steering wheel . It honked abruptly, scaring an old woman who was walking by. A groan escaped her lips and she rested her head on the seat . She took a breath, the lump in her throat wanted for her to cry badly . Her lip trembled . Marley missed her mom right now , more than ever . She would make it better . Probably go fight the man who knocked her baby down. Marley laughed at the thought of it . Of those people thought Marley’s outburst was bad , they probably couldn’t have handled her moms .

Marley got herself home, late but it was nothing she could do about it now . She got ready to go to the bar , nothing special but she was cute enough. Her phone buzzed when she walked out of the door . It was nothing but a message from Team Snapchat , probably wishing her happy birthday . She giggled a little because that happened every year . Marley didnt bother to call Erik again, him not answering would only make her more upset.

She made it to the bar . A few cars were parked in the lot. The lights werent on. The windows were tinted but there was a small window space at the top of the building where light would shine through . Which wasn’t odd . Marley had worked shifts when the bar opened late . It was a family owned business and sometimes they were unprofessional and opened when they wanted to . Customers still came though . Marley would even get paid under the table some weeks , so they could avoid tax issues and healthcare costs .

She yanked on the door. It wouldnt budge , it was locked . She knocked on the door hard and announced that it was her.

“I’m coming!”

Becky’s voice rang through the closed door . Marley could hear the tampering of the lock . Becky opened the door wide , exposing the few co-workers who were waiting for Marley to come inside.

“Surprise!” They all shouted at the same time. She couldn’t believe it. A party, for her? She was important enough for them to go out of their way and do this. Becky walked towards her , holding a small chocolate cake with lit candles .

“Chocolate, my favorite, thanks guys!” Marley Jared chocolate cake, but she wouldnt tell them that . Everyone looked so pleased .

“Please don’t cry” Becky playfully rolled her eyes at her friend . Who seemed to be getting emotional

“It’s just-“ Marley began to speak, but got choked up . Her voice shook . She didn’t want to cry in front of everybody, so she quickly sucked it up with a deep breath. Becky couldnt help but laugh . She took her into her arms and hugged her . “I just hate my birthday, that’s all”

Not being able to cry was killing her . She looked around at everyone , overwhelmed at everything . Surrounded by people, she still felt alone . Nobody who loved her was there . Yes , these people cared but not in the way Marley needed .

“Do you want us to stop this ?” One of the other co-workers asked . He could tell by the look on her face that something was off. Marley shook her head quickly

“No, I’m thankful for everything” Marley put forth effort to place a smile on her face.

Marley took the time to hug everyone and thank them individually. They all started off with a shot of dark and they sang the birthday song to her . Which was always awkward. Then Becky did her renditioned version of the birthday song , where she twerked across the bar to brighten the mood .

Marley made a wish in her head, something she thought was so silly . When she was a teen she always wished that her mom would magically come back from the dead . Now that she was older , she knew it was impossible . But she still made that same wish . Then she wondered , if she could do two . There were no actually birthday rules because all of it is fake... right? She thought about something that would make her happy . Erik. He was real . And she wished that he would remain that way . Marley blew out the candles and they cheered .

“I’m sorry he’s not here” it was as if Becky could read her mind “And I had no way to tell him , I figured he would be with you” Marley ignored her. She gave Marley a small gift box , with a bow on top . It was from her . She opened it right away .

“No you didn’t” she said quietly. It was a pair of AirPods . She had just told Becky that she wanted a pair but didn’t want to spend the money on them. The fact that she was such an attentive friend really meant a lot to Marley . She could not stop hugging her .

“Tonight is not about him, it’s your birthday” Becky didn’t want the absence of Erik to ruin her special day.

“What if he’s dead?” Now Marley was being dramatic . Becky raised her eyebrows, she figured Erik couldn’t make it because of work stuff . Not anything this serious . “I haven’t heard from him all day”

“Doubt that” Becky casually handed Marley an envelope with a card inside . She figured it was a card from the bar staff.

“But still, this is not like him” she managed to rip it open while holding eye contact .

“He’ll call “

Marley pulled the card out if it’s envelope. Shockingly it was from Trey . She looked at Becky who was purposely avoiding eye contact . A few twenty dollar bills slipped from the inside before she caught them in her hand. They had not spoken since that last week of her living in the hotel . And when she found out about his child , she was completely done . “Trey came by before you got here, he wanted to catch you but I told him it wasn’t a good idea” Becky aligned a few shot glasses on the bar and filled them with Tequila . That always got Marley drunk , and her plan was to get her friend wasted .

Happy birthday beautiful

I miss you , call me.

He had hand written those simple words in the card. Along with some passage about how important the birthday person was. Marley skimmed through it, then slipped the twenties in her purse and put the card in the trash .

“No thank you” Marley spoke just how she would if Trey was actually standing there .

It took Becky pouring six shots to get Marley to finally stop checking her phone . And then seven shots to make her start talking about Erik. He always left the toilet seat up and in the middle of the night she would fall in. No matter how many times she told him not to, he would always forget . He always thought he was right , and could never admit that he had gotten something wrong . Marley was not the type of person who yearned for the last word . And it didn’t kill her if she didn’t get her point across. Not even knowing that it was what made them a match . He snored loudly when he slept, so if Marley didn’t fall first ... there would be no sleep . Then when he woke up , he never ate breakfast. Which freaked Marley out because she couldn’t function without breakfast each morning . Marley started to drag on about how much he worked out and perfected over his body . But at the same token, he’d scarf down a whole family sized meal of carbs . She was about to rant about his messy home but Becky stopped her . Even Becky couldn’t help but think about how Marley felt when she talked about her husband .

Becky had listened for long enough , the bar was now open to the public and she had to work . “Sounds to me like you guys have no real problems” she slapped the bar counter twice , Marleys head flew back .

“What!” She slurred, then swayed to the sound of Sicko Mode playing from the bars speakers . Drunk was exactly what she was now.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff , Erik is all you have... besides me of course”

Marley pondered on that statement for a while . She seemed to get lost into the view of her feet for a long time . The floor was spinning, she held on to the bar stool so she wouldn’t fall . She blinked a few times to try and sober up , it didn’t work well enough. Then , she got back to thinking about what Becky said . How Erik was all she had . Marley looked up to ask her what she meant by it, but Becky had walked away . Marley figured she had been out of it for a while . She was uncomfortably drunk , and really needed to go home .

Everyone was back working , and she didn’t have the strength or good balance to say thank you to everyone again . Maybe she’d send out a mass text in the morning, or maybe she wouldn’t. Marley just needed to leave. She snuck out of the bar . Becky would have stopped her from leaving if she saw her . Refusing to allow her to drive home drunk. Marley just knew that if she drove really slow, she’d make it .

So she sat in her car , took a deep breath and started the ignition . Thanking god that she lived close enough . Even though she knew god was not happy about what she was doing . Marley pulled out of her parking space slowly and made her way on to the street . She was doing great at pretending to be sober . Until she couldn’t , swerving in other lanes and unnecessarily pumping her breaks with caution. Tonight would have been a great night for the police to pull her over and actually do their job. They were probably harassing innocent people Marley thought, Insted of handling true crimes ... like the one Marley was committing in this moment .

She made it home safely , by nothing but pure luck . Her car was crooked , and slightly crossing the line of her neighbors spot . Marley would deal with it in the morning. Her apartment light was on. Since she was intoxicated , she didn’t see this as cautionary. Struggling with getting the key in the door, she managed to let herself in . It wasn’t until after she closed the door and began walking towards her room , that she seen Erik sitting on her couch . He stood up , holding a bouquet of flowers . Marley stepped back with her mouth wide open.

“Happy birthday baby” he smiled and walked towards her . She wanted to speak . She wanted to yell at him for not being there all day . She wanted to ask him how he had gotten inside of her apartment. But as soon as she felt his strong arms wrap around her ... she finally let out the cry that she had been holding in all day . Marley’s tears seeped into the arm of his shirt . He let her cry . “You had a bad day?” He asked her calmly. He felt Marleys head nod . The hand that was flower free rubbed against her back . He was trying his best to calm her down.

“I hate my birthday” her voice cracked , tugging on Erik’s soft side .

“I got you , and I’m gonna take care of you”

He pushed away from her , allowing the space between them . He kissed her forehead twice , then took a chance on her lips . “Wanna talk about it?”

Marley drew away from him and walked to the kitchen for a paper towel . She released with a deep sigh and giggled shortly.

“Nah” she wiped hers tear stained face then tossed it in the trash . Erik told her that he lost his phone this morning , and couldn’t find time to get another one today .

“How did you get in here?” They settled down on the couch. Close enough for Marley’s left thigh to wrap around his lap . She faced him .

“I’m from the projects . Breaking in to shit is like a right of passage” he admitted, nonchalantly he massaged her thigh.

“You broke in my house” she stated what was obvious, there was no reason for her to be upset . She knew Erik to be a man that did whatever he wanted to do.

“Ain’t nothing I can’t get into” he observed her for a second , she rested her head against the couch . Her eyes fidgety and unable to focus on one thing . “You drove home drunk like this ?” He asked , seemingly worried about her .

“I see you do it all the time” her fingers toyed with his dreads . He was so cute to her when he got serious. He was cute to her when he did anything honestly.

“Yeah but you ain’t me”

“The hypocrisy!” She shouted in dramatic form.

“So you using big the words tonight”

“Hypocrisy is not a big word, you’re just from the projects” Marley braced herself for his rebuttal, she knew he would have a comeback to match her witt.

“Don’t forget who helped you write that letter to get you that job. A nigga from the projects”

“You right , daddy” she gave in, even though they were only joking .

“I know I’m fucking right”

Marley rubbed her thumbs against his cheeks and moved in closer to him . “Just a minute ago , I was crying my eyes out” she mumbled , so close to his lips that he could feel her words . She kissed him , sweet and soft . “Make sure I never cry on my birthday again”

“That’s a lot of pressure” Erik told her .

“Can you handle it?” She toyed with him but Marley was being completely serious.

“I can handle you”

Erik yawned , and like clockwork Marley yawned too . It was contagious. Somehow his position changed to him laying completely on his back . Marley beside him still, one leg wrapped around his waist . They liked it that way . No matter where they were , they always came back here . Erik thought Marley had eventually fallen asleep, on account of her hard breathing . Until she spoke again.

“All you got me was flowers?” She thought back to when she first cake in. Marley eyed the beautiful bouquet on her coffee table . He busted out laughing , so hard that Marley had to laugh too .

“I was waiting for that question”

“So answer it then”

“I got you shoes”

“Where they at?” She pouted like a bratty child . Erik kissed his teeth .

“Where the birthday sex at?” He asked , as if she owed him and it was his birthday.

“I’m too tired , how about birthday morning sex?”

“I’ll give you your shoes after that” he rubbed her butt gently , in hopes to turn her on . It just made her more comfortable with the idea of sleep .

“I’m not a prostitute” she yawned again .

“You’re my prostitute”

“You know I am” she boasted proudly .

“The best one I got” he yawned too .

“The thickest one too”

“You such a bad bitch”

“Good night Erik , I love you”