#i wonder how long itll be before she gets the message and stops sending me these worthless listings
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my sister is still sending me apartment listings from facebook bc her backup plan to ditch me last minute (after id already gotten us apprived to move on to an apartment) to move in with her parents fell through
#that shit has long since sailed.#not gonna waste my time getting YOU a free apartment (bc she would pay nothing towards rent or bills)#at one point she actually brought up the idea of her just crashing on my couch paying no rent at all#like. brought up just moving in to MY apartment with her dog without being on the lrase or paying me anything.#the way i shot that down so fast#it's because of her im not already moved out of this apartment and am going to the absolute end of my lease.#it's bc of her im facing homelessness with two dogs and 9 mice#no im not gonna fucking coddle you and get you an apartment so you can take ket on my couch and not be an adult#i wonder how long itll be before she gets the message and stops sending me these worthless listings#bc all of them are shit that we wouldnt even be able to take anyway#bc shes so out og it she never bothers to look at the actual specifications of the listing#evey single apartment shes sent me is either blatantly '#NO PETS#or#it's a single bedroom for rent.#i dont even bother pointing out all the ways it's worthless anymore.#i dont even bother checking#im actually so mad at her for the apartment cancellation. even if she came to me with the perfevt apartment already paid for#and all expenses covered i still wouldnt live with her
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quiet on widow’s peak (3)
pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, youtuber phil lester, dan howell is not a youtuber, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.1k (this chapter), 9.5k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.
read this chapter on ao3 or here!
Interviews used to be Phil's least favourite part of this job. The research was always captivating, the filming was always fun, the editing was always challenging, but talking? To people? About things? Absolutely not.
He still doesn't love doing it, but he's long past the point of begging Martyn or Ian to pretend to be him on the phone.
The curtains in Phil's room are open for once, letting natural light in so he doesn't look as dark on the Skype screen. His eyes keep drifting to himself, distracting him as he tries to fix his hair or laments not getting out of his pyjamas. This is his fourth interview of the day, and he's starting to hate the process with a renewed fervour.
"Okay, thank you," he says, clicking out of the screen record window. "Can I message you here if I have any further questions, or would you prefer this to be your final statement?"
"Oh, um," the girl says, her eyes round with some kind of emotion that Phil can't be bothered to parse. "No, no, that's... that's all I saw. I don't have anything else. But you can still... message me, if you like."
Ah. Phil makes a face that he hopes reads as apologetic and not panicked. "No, I - sorry. Gay. Just interested in your ghost."
"Oh!" she says again, looking more puzzled than Phil thinks she has any right to after a forty minute conversation where he mostly just asked her clarifying questions that she kept dodging. She tucks some of her long hair behind her ear and shakes her head. "Sorry, that's just - you haven't said that online."
Phil isn't very good at knowing when people are lying to him, but now he's definitely suspicious of the half-assed testimony he'd gotten from this girl. He sighs. "Okay, you know who I am, then?"
"I mean, I looked you up when you messaged me about a video and all," she says. "Wanted to know if you were a creep or, like, legit."
Okay, that's fair enough. Phil supposes that if he were a girl in uni and a stranger asked to video chat, he'd also do a little digging first. He still doesn't quite believe her story, though - most of it matches what she'd written on Facebook, word for word, and she didn't go into detail on anything she claimed happened.
"Right, of course," says Phil, feeling awkward and exposed.
Her eyes are wide and blue and she can see into his room, into his life, and she's giving him this look like she thinks she knows something about him. He hates this feeling.
"That a secret, then?" she asks.
"No," Phil says. "It's just not relevant to my job. I don't have a lot of ghouls asking me out."
She doesn't laugh. Phil is getting more and more uncomfortable by the second, and he's wondering if it's worth it to hang up on a potential lead - no matter how dubious her claims - when she says, "Well, alright. I won't tell anyone anyway."
"Thanks," Phil says automatically. He doesn't particularly care if she does or not, but he does want this call to end as soon as possible. "And thanks for your time. Message me if you think of anything else you forgot to mention about the Wilkins place or if you know of someone who's seen something."
Before she can even respond, Phil hits end on the call and groans, resting his forehead on his thumbs for a moment.
Unsurprisingly, this is giving him a migraine. It doesn't take much to make the twinge of a headache turn to insistent throbbing, because Phil's body hates him and overreacts to everything.
Phil takes a couple of deep breaths before he comes out of hiding. He attaches the final screen recording to the email he's already got open and ready to send to Martyn. After a moment's thought, he CCs PJ and Sophie in and adds, Nobody sounds credible except the second person to me, so... it's not looking good lol, before hitting send.
He takes off his glasses and rubs at his eyes for a moment. Interviews are still draining for him, especially when they don't go as planned, and Phil's starting to get the impression that there's nothing to even find at the Wilkins place.
But. Phil pauses, considers his options. He hasn't interviewed everyone, has he.
Before he can talk himself out of it, Phil shoves his glasses unceremoniously back onto his face and opens Tumblr. Winnie hasn't said anything to him so far today, so Phil feels only a little like he's bothering them when he shoots off a quick, Hey! I just finished interviewing the sources you gave me and most of them aren't very promising. Would you consider letting me ask you some questions to round out the video?
me?????, Winnie replies almost immediately. i didnt even see anything?? like im happy to answer questions but idk how much use ill b in an INTERVIEW
I know! And you don't have to lmao so don't feel pressured or anything but you know so much more about the place than they do. Everyone claimed that they didn't know other people were having paranormal experiences.
oh bullshit, Winnie says. Phil is surprised into a huff of laughter.
There's a part of Phil, fuelled by anxiety and uncertainty, that worries Winnie is just pulling an elaborate joke on him. That part of him feels a little more at ease every time he actually talks to Winnie. They just seem... genuine. And maybe Martyn would disagree, would blame Phil's desperation to see the best in people, but there's a reason Phil doesn't tell Martyn everything.
Before Phil can agree with Winnie's colourful derision, his laptop beeps again. i look like an ogre rn but i can voice chat if you rly think itll help
It would!!, Phil assures them. The tender spot behind his eyes twinges again, serving as a reminder. Can I call in like an hour? I've got a headache from the screen lol
sure i really have nothing else going on today
--
So it's later in the day, late afternoon light still streaking through Phil's window, when Phil sits back down at his computer and adds the Skype username Winnie gave him. His head still hurts a bit, but it isn't all-consuming now that he's had another coffee and some painkillers. The padded headphones feel good to put over his ears, blocking out most of the typical noises from such a full house and a busy street, and Phil just sits in the blissful quiet for a moment before he sends a voice call request.
It gets picked up almost immediately, and Phil presses a smile into his palm before he says, "Hi! Can you hear me alright?"
There's a beat. Phil waits, in case Skype is lagging as usual, but he's opening his mouth to repeat himself by the time he gets a response.
"Yeah," says Winnie. "I can hear you."
Phil isn't really proud of himself for being surprised by Winnie's voice. It's just. He knows his viewer demographics, okay, and he has a rough grasp on Tumblr demographics, and the name - alright. It isn't his proudest moment, is his point, because he's expecting a much higher pitch for absolutely no good reason.
In addition to that, his brain automatically tries to classify Winnie's voice as very obviously masculine, and Phil has to push back against that.
"I can hear you, too," Phil says cheerfully, not allowing his anxieties to spill over into the conversation.
"That's good, probably," Winnie says. There's another beat of silence, and then a huff that might be laughter or a sigh comes through Phil's headphones. "Sorry, I - I'm not trying to be fucking weird, this is just surreal."
"Is it?" Phil hums. "But I haven't even asked you about ghosts yet."
A snort - definitely laughter, this time - follows, and Phil is so glad that he's able to put Winnie at ease even if his brain is betraying him. "That's true. I guess it's gotta get weirder from here."
"That's kind of, like, the subtitle of my whole channel," says Phil. After a moment, he frowns. "Subtitle? No. What's the thing, on the poster -"
"Tagline," says Winnie. They sound so amused and warm and, okay, they've got a nice voice. That's not gendered. Phil can think that. "You're thinking of a tagline, you buffoon."
"Tagline," Phil echoes gratefully.
"Don't you," Winnie starts, then stops abruptly. They don't finish the sentence, but Phil can kind of guess what they were going to say. There's the sound of some rustling, like Winnie is getting comfortable, before they change tacks. "Again, I didn't see any of this alleged ghostly activity with my own eyes, but I know the hot goss."
Phil opens the recording program out of habit, nodding even though Winnie can't see him. "That's still really useful at this point," he says encouragingly. He clicks a couple of buttons. "And, yes, I do have an English degree. Thank you for not asking."
Winnie laughs, the sound of it filling Phil's headphones and making it feel like they're in the room with him. It's warm, like everything else about their voice, and absolutely contagious.
"I didn't want you to think I was, like, a big stalker," Winnie says, and Phil can hear the grin in their voice.
"Eh, I know you watch my videos," says Phil. "So I figure you know some stuff about me. You probably know that I'm going to ask this, too, but - is it okay if I record our conversation? I don't need to include it in the video if you don't want me to, but it's still useful for me if I don't so I can, like, actually remember the things you told me."
"Yeah, sure," Winnie agrees easily. They hesitate, for a moment, and Phil waits for whatever the caveat will be. "Uh, can I still swear?"
The question surprises Phil into laughing. "Yeah, you're fine. I can bleep them out."
"Then I am all for it. Ask me the ghost questions, ghost man."
Phil presses record and glances down at his notebook, where he's scrawled some disjointed questions alongside his usual doodling. "Uh, okay. Yes. I am totally a professional."
"If you say so, mate," says Winnie.
"Hush. Okay." Phil finally gets his brain back on track and taps his pen against a question near the end of his list. "So, Winnie, you did all this research into the Wilkins place on your own downtime, but you mentioned that you've been hearing murmurs about it for a while, right?"
"Not that long, actually, I've only been hearing about it since term started," Winnie says, and Phil is struck by how comfortable they suddenly are now that there's a guideline. Or, maybe, now that there's a non-Phil audience. "Which I thought was pretty weird, since I'd been there a couple times since I moved here, and it's a spooky fucking place but nothing to write home about."
That's more or less exactly how Phil feels about the situation, except that he doesn't remember the Wilkins place to be scary at all. Maybe it's gotten worse in the years since, or maybe he's just got a higher threshold for empty, decrepit homes than Winnie does. Either way, he's not sure if he should be relieved or suspicious that their thoughts on it mirror his own so well. He starts a spiral in the corner of his page as he considers the answer.
"So, you never got the impression that it was haunted before?"
"I - can I be perfectly honest?" Winnie asks, and then doesn't wait for a response. "I don't get the impression that it's haunted now. I dunno if people are just making shit up or if they're doing too many drugs, but we all know that ghosts don't actually exist."
Phil snorts. He does have a fairly large number of skeptics who watch his videos to argue in the comments about logical explanations for his findings or to just enjoy watching him fail so much, but he hadn't really expected that from someone who sent him a sourced essay on the topic of ghosts.
He's recording right now, so he's not about to give away the fact that, yeah, he kind of does agree with Winnie on this one. Instead, he keeps his tone neutral and says, "You don't believe in ghosts."
"I don't believe in most things that can't be explained by science," Winnie says, so matter-of-fact that Phil has to smile.
"I don't really believe in science," Phil says, mild.
A beat. "Excuse me?"
"I said I don't believe in science," Phil repeats, doubling down on the joke so he can hear that incredulous pitch of Winnie's nice voice again. "I mean, isn't it all just as made-up as anything else? People just tell us stuff exists and we have to believe them?"
"We believe them," Winnie says slowly, "because it's a fact."
"How do I know that?" Phil asks. He knows how off track he's already gotten, and he decides to cut this part out before he sends the file to Martyn or his friends.
"Because you can. See it. With your eyes." The genuine bewilderment in Winnie's voice is very funny. "Like. What the fuck, Phil. If someone drops an apple and it hits the ground and they're like, 'oh that's gravity', how are you supposed to say, 'uh, no it ain't'?"
Phil leans back in his chair a bit, his spiral turning into an apple. "Because, what if that's just what the apple wanted to do? It's not like we know any of this for sure, Winnie."
"You're fucking with me," Winnie says, but they don't sound very certain.
"I am," Phil admits happily. "Do you remember the first incident that kicked off the Wilkins place rumours?"
"You," Winnie says, and then cackles. They lean away from their mic as they do, but the sound of it still makes Phil feel some secondhand giddiness. He wonders if their laugh has a volume limit, or if it's just going to keep getting louder the funnier Phil is. He is so tempted to put that to the test. "Fuck. You little fucker."
Phil hides his own giggle in the palm of his hand and clears his throat, trying to get back into the professional mindset he'd forced himself to be in for the four earlier interviews.
"Do you need me to repeat the question?" Phil asks. He can't resist teasing, just a bit.
"No, fuck off," Winnie chuckles. They take a deep breath and let it out on a hum, low and thoughtful. "So, there was this shindig during fresher's, which I obviously didn't go to because I'm not a fresher and I'm too old to go to shindigs, but people were talking about how the house was making weird noises. A girl I know - I linked you to her Reddit post - said she saw someone just standing outside the window watching them, but, like, is that really a supernatural occurrence in Rusholme?"
"It's not. And she hit on me as well, so I'm not sure her judgement is trustworthy."
"Sounds like her. Sorry. Anyway, nobody really thought 'ghosts' as much as they thought 'rats in the walls and a pervert on the street', but then - this one didn't get spoken about online. I don't even know how valid it is."
"Word of mouth is how most ghost stories get passed," says Phil. "I'm not going to hold you to citations on rumours."
Winnie huffs a laugh. It's soft, quiet, and Phil almost wishes he could say something ridiculous to make them cackle again. Unfortunately, he has a job to do.
"Fair enough. Well, some idiots spent the night there to see if anything weird would happen," Winnie says, and Phil feels a bit attacked, "and three separate dudes had sleep paralysis."
Phil hums and jots some messy notes down. "In the same night?"
"At the same time," Winnie corrects him. "The other idiots were trying to wake them up for a long time, apparently. They're convinced that the guys who fell asleep were just pulling a prank on them, and maybe they were, but that's when the ball really got rolling."
Out of everything Phil has heard today, this is the most compelling story so far. Maybe that's a good indicator of the Manchester students being full of it - maybe there truly is nothing to find in the Wilkins place - but it piques Phil's interest anyway.
"For someone who only believes in cold, hard science, you're good at telling ghost stories," Phil says.
"Thanks," Winnie says, sounding pleased with themselves. "Learned from the best."
Phil is suddenly very, very glad that this isn't a video call, because he can't stop himself from smiling like an idiot. "Oh, is that what they're calling me?"
Another cackle. Phil doesn't remember the last time he made someone laugh so much without tripping over his own clown feet.
"I never said I was talking about you."
"Uh huh."
"Oh, shut up," says Winnie, and Phil can still hear the laughter in their voice. "Don't you have a bunch of questions to ask or something?"
Phil does. He has a whole list of questions that he should be following. He chews on his pen and looks at the doodle-covered list of things he's meant to ask Winnie. His head still hurts - maybe the extra caffeine didn't help after all - and all he really wants to do is take a nap.
"Yeah," Phil says, reluctant. "I've just got, like, a migraine. Can I call you back another time? This was a really great start."
"Oh, yeah, sure," says Winnie. They've dropped their voice down to something soft, like they're worried that they'll make Phil's headache worse.
"I'm actually going up to check the place out this weekend." Phil isn't sure what makes him say that. He meets up with sources in person, sometimes, but usually only if they've seen something with their own eyes. He just feels comfortable talking to Winnie, far more than he'd felt talking to the other students he'd interviewed today.
Phil doesn't actually extend the invitation, and Winnie either doesn't pick up the hint or doesn't care to.
"That'll be good," they say, still soft. "Get some rest, Phil, you can call me back when your brain stops trying to drill a hole through your temple."
After Phil says goodbye and hangs up, he sits at his desk for a long moment. It feels too quiet, all of a sudden, his padded headphones blocking out all the ambient noise around him. It's good for his head, but Phil is still weirdly disappointed.
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Big News
Summary: Sarah and Ava have big news for the groupchat.
WC: ~1.5k
[Other Bekker renamed the chat “HOUSE PARTY”]
Other Bekker: it’s official
Other Bekker: i own a house
Other Bekker: with my WIFE!!!!!!
Bekker: We’re throwing a housewarming party and everyone’s invited!
Dr. Lanik: What’s the dress code
Other Bekker: casual if you wear a suit ill kill you
Ethan Choi: When?
Bekker: We were thinking it would start at around six or seven? It would mean a lot to us if Crockett could make it.
FreeWilly: Will there be alcohol?
Other Bekker: some of us are sober. No
no-ah: I’m in
Maggie<3: Wait who’s sober other than Crockett?
Dr. Lanik: Me
Other Bekker: me
connor: @OtherBekker there was an open bar at your wedding
Bekker: Circumstances change
Ethan Choi: This is such a fun conversation. Let’s not have it.
April: So back to the party… details!
Other Bekker: ill send the address in a bit but its gonna be potluck style. Everybody brings food. itll be pretty casual so dont be that asshole (@Dr.Lanik). starting at six ish and ending at maybe 10 or 11 depending on how tired we all are
Ethan Choi: Crockett’s program usually ends at like 5:30 so we might be a little late?
Other Bekker: ok sounds good. how is he btw
Ethan Choi: Pretty well. He’s outpatient for another few weeks and then his doctors are going to discuss long term options. Hopefully he’ll be back at work soon, too
April: Tell him we’re proud of him?
Ethan Choi: As soon as I pick him up tonight.
-
Sarah: are we telling them tonight?
Wifey: I was thinking so, yes. I mean, we have our house, and the paperwork went through.
Sarah: im so excited
Wifey: Me too, honey
-
Nat: Not to alarm anybody but whoever’s in charge of Connor right now, come to treatment 4
FreeWilly: love the implication that we take turns babysitting him
Dr. Lanik: We kind of do. I think it’s Maggie’s turn.
Maggie<3: I’m not at work. Who’s next in line?
April: @QueenElsa
Queen Elsa: Fine
connor: im a big boy i can take care of myself
Nat: You literally have a concussion
Ethan Choi: Why?
Nat: He fainted after a surgery. His sugar is low on the finger prick and he said he hasn’t had any water since his shift started
Dr. Lanik: @connor We’ve talked about this
connor: ok boomer
Dr. Lanik: @connor Stop calling me a boomer! We’re the same age!
connor: ok
connor: boomer
Bekker: Can you grow up @connor
connor: no
Queen Elsa: Update for everyone, Connor is getting a CT. He’s eating a Snickers bar right now and we’re pushing fluids
FreeWilly: youre not you when youre hungry
Dr. Lanik: @Bekker @OtherBekker What day will your housewarming party be? My daughter’s birthday is Friday.
Maggie<3: IM SORRY YOUR WHAT
Other Bekker: ?????
Bekker: We were thinking Saturday.
April: @FreeWilly Did you know about this???????
FreeWilly: uh yeah?
no-ah: Why did none of us know you had a daughter?
Dr. Lanik: I just don’t see how it’s any of your business.
Nat: How old is she? Who’s her mother? What school does she go to? How did we go this long without knowing?
[Dr. Lanik has sent an image to the chat]
Dr. Lanik: This is Emma, she’s almost eleven, and this is the most information any of you will ever be getting about her.
Ethan Choi: Well this has been a wild ride
Other Bekker: now taking bets on how crockett will react. $10 says he thinks its a joke
no-ah: Coward. He knows everything. $20 says he already knew.
Other Bekker: youre on
Queen Elsa: ...Anyways, Connor’s CT came back alright. It’s a minor concussion; he’ll be fine soon.
Maggie<3: That’s good
Dr. Lanik: @FreeWilly and I will look after him.
Ethan Choi: Just picked up Crockett, he says hi. He also has letters for each of you as part of his process
Nat: That’s sweet
Ethan Choi: I have been assured none of them contain nudes
Other Bekker: thank g-d
Ethan Choi: I’ll be giving them to you all at work.
Ethan Choi: Crockett will be cooking something I won’t even try to pronounce for the housewarming party
Other Bekker: his cooking is all so good...
no-ah: It slaps
Queen Elsa: Is it that pasta thing??? With the crawfish????
Ethan Choi: Honestly, I don’t know.
Nat: Owen and I are bringing cookies.
Bekker: Important question, @Dr.Lanik… will Emma be coming?
Dr. Lanik: No. I don’t want her near any of you.
connor: hes got a point
Maggie<3: Have you never, in your life, had to bring her to a doctor?
Dr. Lanik: We use East Mercy so that you all keep your noses out of my life.
FreeWilly: ouch
April: I mean, if I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want any of you near her either.
Nat: Harsh, I trust you with my son
April: You’re different.
Bekker: Do I hear wedding bells?
Nat: @April What if we kissed in the doctor’s lounge… and we’re both girls?
Nat: Haha just kidding
Nat: Unless…?
April: Did you just hit on me with a meme
Nat: Did it work?
Other Bekker: another win for the gaydies
Other Bekker: THEY BOTH JUST WENT INTO THE DOCTORS LOUNGE JHGFKHFRH
Ethan Choi: Crockett laughed
connor: do you read these messages to him?
Ethan Choi: Sometimes. He likes to be in the loop.
FreeWilly: hot take but. we could just add him back to the chat?
Ethan Choi: He’s not ready for that yet, but he does like to be updated on your lives and one-on-one texting is stressful for him
Other Bekker: we spend more time talking about crockett now than we did when he was in the chat
no-ah: Sweet I have my Crockett letter
Ethan Choi: I'll put them in your lockers. My shift is starting so I'm turning my phone to silent.
Other Bekker: Crockett Time
Bekker: Did he write me one?
Other Bekker: @Bekker both mine and yours are in my locker i think. one is for "blonde bekker" and one is for "brunette bekker"
no-ah: That's what he has your contacts saved as
Queen Elsa: Mine is just a smiley face sticker in an envelope?
Other Bekker: jsyk we should probably keep these private! this is important to him
Maggie<3: I'm so excited to see him again on Saturday, I've missed him.
FreeWilly: He's been busy. I think his program is like eight to five every day but Sunday
Nat: What's that even like?
Other Bekker: they have an in house aa group that meets a few times a day and theres a ton of other support like therapy to get to the root of the problem. i mean before he got sober the first time he was self medicating
Other Bekker: he does a lot of art therapy i think. when he was inpatient he kept mailing paintings to my wife and i
-
Curry (Not Dr.): Hey, it's Elsa Curry from Med. Sarah gave me your number. I was just wondering why you gave me a sticker?
Crockett: dont u put them on the inside of your binder? the one u put ur case notes in at the end of ur shift
Curry (Not Dr.): How did you know that?
Crockett: u pull ur binder out when ur stressed to reference old cases. i thot u might like another sticker so u know ur not in this alone
Crockett: :)
-
[crickett has renamed the chat "dick bros"]
crickett: @connor do u wanna fuck again this weekend lmao
connor: ???
connor: i thought that was a one time thing
Ethan Choi: It doesn't have to be.
-
Maggie<3: @Bekker @OtherBekker Sorry I'm running a little behind! I couldn't find my keys
Bekker: No harm, no foul!
[Bekker has sent an image to the chat]
Bekker: Definitely hurry, we're having so much fun!
-
Crockett: baby
HUBBY: I'm sitting right beside you.
Crockett: ik but im feeling kinda overwhelmed
HUBBY: Do you want to go home?
Crockett: i think i just need air will you cover for me if someone comes looking
-
Other Bekker: THANK YOU @Maggie<3 FOR ACTUALLY HELPING CLEAN UP
FreeWilly: sorry!
connor: sorry ahhhhhh i didnt think about it
Nat: Congrats again, you two, this is huge!
April: ^^
no-ah: Will we get to meet her, or will she be a secret like Laniks daughter?
Bekker: You'll all definitely get to meet her, but let's not do so much at once? Adjusting to a new home is hard, and from what the adoption agency tells us, she's had a rough go of it.
no-ah: Of course!
Queen Elsa: No little girl could have a better home! Congratulations on your daughter and I wish you really good luck. If you ever need help, we're all here!
Dr. Lanik: She's about eight, right?
Bekker: Yes
Dr. Lanik: If she needs help adjusting, let me know, and maybe Emma and I can help. She was about that age when I adopted her.
connor: the Lanik lore we are getting today omg
Dr. Lanik: You'll both be great parents, and @OtherBekker don't hesitate to let me know if you need extra time off. This is a big deal and you shouldn't have to stress about work when you should be worrying about your family. @Bekker I'll also ask Dr. Latham to be lenient with you as well.
Other Bekker: thank you from both of us <3
connor: who knew lanik had a heart.
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Day 5 — for #fictober 10/05/19
Prompt: “I might just kiss you.”
Fandom: Homestuck
Warnings: Cursing, 2nd Person POV
Part of a series. Please start from the beginning!
Characters: Dirk Strider & Roxy Lalonde
First | Previous | Next
x-x-x
Dirk > Get Over It
You don’t get over it. But, you’ve had years of the intrusions to learn to live with it. You pick yourself after time and the sea breeze allow the most persistent of the whispers to fade back into your brain. You don’t know how to stop it. You don’t think you can. Maybe it’s just in the universes’ cards that you’ll never be able to escape the insufferable and unignorable presence of your selves. Splintered, doomed, it’s a big old party full of the one person you hate the most.
You’re on the computer this time, digging into some of the less physical aspects of your work for CrockerCorp. Coding wasn’t your favorite thing, but aside from Roxy and ARq, you were probably one of the better around, and as far as you know, neither of them were helping Jane out on a consulting basis. You ignore the humming in the back of your mind, the phantom disconnect bubbling out from some deep inner core that leaves you watching your hands performing their tasks and yet--not under your control at all. An observer. Weightless, formless, trapped in a world of numbers and words with only a single view to the world beyond.
Only that isn’t right, you could take the stairs to the roof and go wherever the fuck you wanted to. Maybe you’re trapped, but it’s your own damn choice.
That’s the most unnerving of the loose threads, you think, because you know exactly who is leaking through there and at least he has more of a right to inflict this shit on you than any of the others.
It keeps leaking. Mixing. You wonder if one day you’ll stop noticing and cataloging and just accept it all as your lot in life. Maybe even use it.
You send off the finished product--even with clumsy as hell organic interfacing tools, you work more efficiently at this sort of task when your auto-responder rises to the surface--and scroll through your inbox for another one.
One stands out from amongst the mixture of spam emails that somehow keep getting around your ever more sophisticated filter (you suspect ARquiusprite to be behind it, but have no proof) and the more mundane business communication you maintain with CrockerCorp’s research division. You used to go straight through Jane but...as the company expanded it became more efficient to just work directly with the developers since Jane wasn’t very plugged in to that particular aspect for the business. It unnerves you a little, thinking of the small bakery she opened to take back her family name from the Batterwitch, only for the business to balloon into such a multi-industry giant, filling many vital services in this world and only rivaled in scale by Jake’s revival of SkaiaNet.
But you suppose that’s the responsibility of a god, taking the world in hand and guiding it. Benevolent patrons, looking down from on high, shaping the course of history and society into the best form it could be. Someone’s got to recreate the internet (the world’d better thank you and Roxy and ARquiusprite for that) and you weren’t willing to wait around for it to happen organically. Shit needed to get done, and sometimes, the eight of you were the ones who needed to do it.
The rogue email stands out with it’s bright pink text and typo filled subject line. Why would Roxy send you an email? Why didn’t she just hit you up on Pesterchum or--
A thought and you have the window open in the corner of your display, fighting, and failing to resist the urge to press your palms into your face when you notice the little red dot next to Do Not Disturb. A little further digging and you turn up some unread notifications that never got sent due to the privacy settings.
Of fucking course. Of course you’d automatically flip it to DND when in one of your spirals and not even realize it. You remedy that mistake, but instead of scrolling back through Roxy’s messages--there’s also a meme sent your way from Dave, accompanied by an ironic selfie of him and Karkat from, Jesus Christ that was a month ago--you turn back to the email in your inbox. This would be the newest one, given the time stamp, which was only an hour ago.
There’s a picture attached, a night shot of New City, near where Roxy and Calliope set up. Roxy’s got the whole selfie thing going, smiling and radiant for the camera, pink eyes sparkling with mischief as she framed the background shot just perfectly.
There’s an orange and green streak across the cityscape, the tall buildings in the distant background, their lit windows shining like a million stars from across the bay. Calliope has her green-suited arms wrapped tightly around their neck, highlighted by feathered wings obviously hitting the end of their orange end of the gradient and starting down the green path. Despite the obvious speed (you can tell from the way Davepeta’s currently green coat is caught mid-whip behind them) the picture is perfectly clear and focused, as if you are looking through a window into an image frozen in time.
Damn she’s good.
wishin’ u were here di-stri. i heard u got out a little. maybe u shuld do it again. liek maybe come out my way next tiem?? ;) we have fun.
You chew on the inside of your lip, studying the picture. The frozen mixture of delight and mild terror on Calliope’s face. The mischief on Roxy’s. You can’t see Davepeta’s even if you zoom in, what with the ever present glow beneath their skin and the glasses currently matching the same orange of their wings. You bet they are having a blast though. How did they manage to talk Calliope into that? You didn’t talk to the cherub much on your own, but you were under the impression she was a skittish thing.
Your hand moves on its own, triggering the sylladex withdrawal on reflex. The feather hums quietly in your hand. It’s fading. The colors duller. Moving slower. But it’s there and it’s a comfort and…
Maybe you should.
You open Pesterchum back up.
TT begins pestering TG
TT: Sorry Ro-Lal, I was buried in work. TT: If you’re free I could probably head out your way tomorrow. I’m at a lull in my projects.
You aren’t, really, but as you’ve been so clearly reminded by the peanut gallery, none of this shit actually matters. And…
You miss Roxy. If you turn down this invitation…
Well, they already stopped coming once, and you let them.
You don’t expect an answer immediately; the carapacian kingdom was a few timezones ahead of your ocean bound kingdom. It’s well into dinner time and you bet she’s a little busy with her guests and being the most kickass hostess of all time.
You barely pull up another project and start studying the design specifications before the window on your shades spring open, searing excited bright pink across your eyeballs.
TG: omg dirk really??? this is going to be awesome!!! Callie and i promised to take ARq and peta out for more shenanignss but oh my gawd thisll be soo much fun! Itll be liek old times! Ull have to keep me updatedf on ur ETA TG: gawd i havent seen you in so long i might just kiss u TG: plonk a big one rite smack dab on each cheek TT: Don’t make me reconsider now, Rox. TT: You know how I feel about smooches, advanced warning or not these cheeks are off limits without applying for a permit. It’s private real estate. TG: nu’uh buster no take backsies!!! U accepted the invitation u gotta put up with the potential of that ill be so overcome with joy at seeing ur face that there’ll be a shower of friendly smooches TG: see u tomorrow <3 TT: Tomorrow, it is Roxy.
You talk a bit more, but Roxy soon excuses herself to do the hosting thing, and you’re left wondering what you’d gotten yourself into.
You’d forgotten Davepeta was traveling with ARquius.
Trapped. Trapped and it’s your own damn fault.
There’s no way you’ll let Roxy down after all that though.
You’ll just have to deal with it when you get there.
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#fictober19#homestuck#homestuck fanfic#dirk strider#roxy lalonde#earth c fic#a sea with a sky full of diamonds#fic: diamonds#kat's fics#technically still counts as the 5th#tomorrow might not go up till monday tho#I have a paper to write
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> Vel : Meet a nerdlord
Today at 2:45 AM
deputyheadmistress Alright, someone talking to you on my behalf about a lack of privacy got to me a bit. But I'm not upset with you for how the internet behaves.
flippinoptimist thats lurky, theyre a little closer to omniscient than is average for most beings, and like kind of giving advice, and they mean well i think they meant it mostly to make me stop chargin around in like, manic mode, though, even if stuff relatin to you was the causal start of the chain sorry you got dragged into it miss granger, and that i wasn't doin the tact thing
deputyheadmistress I didn't mean them, I meant the thread about different faux book titles. But a close to omniscient being is, I suppose, something I'll also have to get used to. I'm at least a bit used to manic teens, though it's not the best way to get shocking information.
flippinoptimist i think my earth age would technically start with a two, but thats sorta recent after you spend enough time around here you get used to the like, multiverse
deputyheadmistress Can we, perhaps, stop talking about the multiverse for a few moments? And talk about something a bit more grounding, like your particular brand of magic. I'm very curious.
flippinoptimist sure its sorta a fusion of everything ive run across, since the inherent stuff that my ~destiny~ tried to put on me isnt the same kind of stuff as the place where im learnin the inherent is more of a "woo, heres a big abstract concept, you are an incarnation / channeler of a shard of it, neato"
deputyheadmistress That sounds like a lot to dig into, but alright.
flippinoptimist the school part is about how you can structure thought and energy flow into symbols and runes and things i'm focusin on artificing ..and the inherent part has given me a knack for illusions i cant figure out how to actually cast spells but im good at making things!
deputyheadmistress Oh! I was very good at ancient runes during my time at Hogwarts, and while I haven't managed to do much with it since graduation, other than an enchanted bag, I'd be really curious to see what similarities there might be. I wonder if you can cast spells. Logic seems like it'd point to yes, but if you're from somewhere else...
flippinoptimist id be curious about them! i know the words to a few spells but ive never seen them and do naut have a wand of the kind you are thinking of the wands i know about / make each have a specific spell in them, and are locked to create a specific effect that triggers when a gesture or word or w/e happens
deputyheadmistress That's terribly inefficient.
flippinoptimist sure, its Terrible
deputyheadmistress ... Is that referencing those historical people of note who end up being so infamous people associate them with the word 'Terrible' as well?
flippinoptimist naut much different than having a necklace that makes you invisible though yes! it also enables a billion terrible puns
deputyheadmistress I was curious. It's a bit strange to add it yourself, don't you think?
flippinoptimist (ba dum tsh)
deputyheadmistress Oh.
flippinoptimist it is
deputyheadmistress Well, that explains that, doesn't it?
flippinoptimist but my species has this thing, where on adulthood we each replace our kid name with an adult Title
deputyheadmistress Oh, it's a cultural thing.
flippinoptimist yeah, and i chose a human one
deputyheadmistress Alright. I read a little bit on that.
flippinoptimist because humans are neat and i like them
deputyheadmistress Oh! Well, I'm glad you like humans, then.
flippinoptimist and i respect a lot of the cultural things i see in most of the human places i have found
deputyheadmistress Good, I was about to ask that.
flippinoptimist also everything that comes out of japan is amazing
deputyheadmistress I don't know how I could let you use a wand from here, but I want to try.
flippinoptimist id love to try if you can think of a way! i am pretty good at establishing first contact with new universes, and i could get you alien tech and magic to check out if you wanted for various definitions of alien
deputyheadmistress ... Alien tech won't work so well on Hogwart's grounds. I had to heavily modify this computer so it'd function here.
flippinoptimist i am curious about how
flippinoptimist alllsooo.... ill have to find a copy of the magic version of getting around from place to place
deputyheadmistress Oh! I wrote a whole thesis on how to make magic more compatable with muggle text over the summer, let me...
flippinoptimist but i know where to find it! couple of steps and itll work out okay
deputyheadmistress I'll send it to you later. It's a bit lengthy, and I have to type it up here. Alright, I'll hold.
flippinoptimist okay i hate to say this because i am definitely interested in exchangin data and showin things, but it feels rude not to remind you before we get much further that a step of getting this to work is probably going to involve me (random internet stranger) havin to figure out what your coordinates are, so i can write them in the format needed for the circley part i can get you the circle rune pattern either way, but if you want a way to actually use it, id need to basically track your IP but, like, fancy and involving you running a thing on a computer let me know if you want to do that part, but heres the circle diagram
flippinoptimist -- flippinoptimist began sending file : transportationcircle.pdf --
deputyheadmistress I have been warned about random internet strangers.... I may have to work on protection wards for a moment, for the sake of safety.
flippinoptimist sure thing i highly advise not using that w/o fillin in coordinates the way it says, and also not without knowin your home coordinates if you step through that thing, the only way back is to know how to write your home address, you know?
deputyheadmistress Alright
flippinoptimist to find home coordinates, install one a these chat programs, and send me a private message, i can use a couple a tools to trace the connection from there and get your code
deputyheadmistress This is certainly the sort of decision I want to be making at five in the morning. Alright, I've got everything set up. What is life without adventure, and the chance to make the headmistress mad at me.
flippinoptimist lol the decision will still be here at not five in the morning, but you wont be able to blame it on the time then shit i should give you the programs shouldnt i -- Discord, Trollian! --
deputyheadmistress Thank you.
flippinoptimist i have a set of coords i can give you that are explicitely for being a neutral place to meet people, but the sky isnt done yet so its janky lookin but! the building is finished
deputyheadmistress I've chosen a fairly neutral place for the moment, don't worry.
flippinoptimist ok!
deputyheadmistress > Message him on Discord. This will be absolutely fine. Totally.
flippinoptimist > He messages her back! About two minutes later, he gives her the number version of her coordinates, which she can use to get back home from anywhere. He also gives her the coordinates to the convenience store, which he mentions is "a pocket dimension under construction"
deputyheadmistress > She'll... Write that down and probably not do anything with it for a while. > If he tries to look at her coordinates directly, it will really really not work, as if his machine were glitching, but he can probably go a few miles out for a nice view of a scottish country side.
flippinoptimist > Neat! He ..does poke that far, but then sets his machine to go back to looking somewhere else. The coordinates are saved, but he promises to himself to not use them. if somebody gives you coordinates, you can go places, or people w/ yours can send you stuff or come visit
deputyheadmistress Alright. This is going to take a bit of getting used to, but if you want to come over you can.
flippinoptimist > ..man, he was supposed to be in time out, but lately he'd been doing so well ..until today.. and he'd been leaning into choosing the Chaotic choices more and more often... > What good was putting yourself in time out if you didn't stick to it?
flippinoptimist crazy o clock in the mornin probably aint the best time for first impressions, though its temptin as hell. i could send across some small magic gunk and weird alien snacks as a proof of concept, and meet you like, tomorrow or another day soon?
deputyheadmistress That sounds good! I'll send you some magic things too, then.
flippinoptimist sweet! we can compare notes
deputyheadmistress > Time to gather some of George's jokes and some magical candy.
flippinoptimist > He would send an invisibility ring, a few novelty disguises, a small opal that made anyone within line of sight experience a slightly sweet taste (in a well-shielded bag), and a variety of alternian mass-produced snackfoods labled in a clearly alien language. Ones he thought might not creep out humans too bad.
deputyheadmistress > Bertie botts every flavor beans are a necessity, though she does make sure to include a carefully penned note about what flavors he may come across that are less pleasant. Chocolate frogs are included as well, of course. Things that turn skin different interesting colors, fireworks that make flame animals bound through the air.
flippinoptimist > He is going to admire the hell out of and carefully store these for later perusal.
deputyheadmistress > He also gets a somewhat large coinpurse that he can shove his whole arm in and still seem to not run out of room.
flippinoptimist okay this is a pretty neat bag stupid question and no i am not going ot try, what happens when you turn it inside out
deputyheadmistress You could turn it out for a really long time. I think it'd be annoying to stuff it back in though
flippinoptimist okay, what if i went for a swim in the ocean with it is there a limit?
deputyheadmistress Of course there's a limit. But it can hold a tent or two, several thin blankets, changes of clothing, general everyday use things, and of course money. Thin things work better, obviously. You could probably fit thick blankets, but it'd be way more annoying both to put them in and pull them out.
flippinoptimist that makes a lotta sense and is pretty interestin i have a tech way of carrying lots of stuff, but you mentioned tech was sad
deputyheadmistress Oh! I have a print version of the paper I was going to type up.
flippinoptimist ive got an amulet thats basically like a mr potato head that disguises you all the runework lines up so you can unclip parts and clip in different parts
deputyheadmistress > Send that along, also. There's moving pictures involved, with her pictured. Oh wow.
flippinoptimist modular!
deputyheadmistress I don't think describing it as 'Mr Potato Head' is reassuring, for a disguise, but a modular disguise is interesting.
flippinoptimist it only works when everything is seated in firmly and shut, but its also sort of like legos > He .. sends a modular disguise amulet over too, with a couple of bits and pieces it only does disguises for my species, but hey, maybe thatll be handy
deputyheadmistress Maybe.
flippinoptimist pro tip if you are ever going to go to a place with my species, ask them which color of person is best for you to be can of worms subject really
deputyheadmistress That sounds racist as hell.
flippinoptimist oh yeah
deputyheadmistress Joy.
flippinoptimist p much sometides people call the usual empress "fish hitler" most of the dudes i know are huge rebels
deputyheadmistress The magical world just recently got done with a war similar to Hitler's.
flippinoptimist but! there are placeswhere things are fine its just good to check if a place is one of them first
deputyheadmistress So I'm a little sick of that.
flippinoptimist i hang out in like three different places where she got deposed differentamounts of time ago yeah thats aight
deputyheadmistress At least there's that.
flippinoptimist speaking of humans, its great how often its naut like that like, sometimes, but anyway people can be pretty cool when teyre given teh chance
deputyheadmistress I do like to believe in the inherent goodness of people, despite how much bad has happened.
flippinoptimist i think people can choose how theyre gonna be theresa lotta nice reasons to choose not to be a dick
deputyheadmistress I should hope you wouldn't need reasons, but yes there are reasons to be nice.
flippinoptimist sometimes bein mean is tempting, otherwise people wouldnt do it you get all wrapped up in somethin, dont see all of it, then suddenly you get a reality check an gotta go "hey is this where i wanna be" and then people ignore the question because they dont wanna think about it and then its sealed, theyre dicks and theyll stay that way
flippinoptimist till they look around again
deputyheadmistress I suppose.
flippinoptimist i spend a lotta time thinkin about it i was a jerk when i was younger, and i decided to be nice instead so i spend a lot of time talkin to dudes who are or were also jerks and we all get better! cause i can help them find the reasons they need to start
flippinoptimist also jerks are sometimes kinda hilarious, and theyre often pretty good at shit. otherwise theyd have learned better when they ran into a problem they couldnt solve w/o help.
deputyheadmistress It's getting a bit late. I think I should probably turn in for the night, before all of the teenagers wake up and need scowling at.
flippinoptimist that is probably a thing i hope you have a good night miss granger it was nice meetin you
deputyheadmistress It was really interesting talking to you, Vel.
flippinoptimist i try for interestin
deputyheadmistress Do you really need to try?
flippinoptimist not really
deputyheadmistress Have a good night. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
flippinoptimist bye!
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first post!
after fucking around with the editing of custom themes that was made ever so difficult by the tumblr theme, i think im finally done setting up my blog and its theme! i might try to mess around with the html a bit to insert a pic in the header or smth eventually or change the background, but ive been fighting with this website for like an hour and a half now and i am t i r e d.
who are u!
i’m camille! im 19, an aries and a white queer cis girl (she/her). i have a boyfriend that i luv very dearly and i’m from québec! my university is in ontario and it’s bilingual, as am i (my first language is french, and yes, i do have the french canadian accent, if you’re wondering). i am double majoring art and art history and i love it a lot! i’d love to specialize myself in english medieval history, especially in the fields of christian iconography and hagiography.
so, what is this blog?
this blog will be used to document my student exchange in london and the trip to the uk i will make preceeding that exchange. i’ll also document a bit of the process of applying for the exchange, bc it is quite a long one indeed!!!! i’ve been working on it since last semester and it honestly took a lot more time than i expected, especially because i have to make a preliminary schedule and some uni websites are especially hard to navigate. i might also talk about the planning that’ll go into the trip my boyfriend and i want to have before my semester.
what am i gonna do?
-travel across the uk with my boyfriend
-then study during the fall semester of 2019 in london in history
what’s the plan?
basically, i have quite a bit of money put aside for the trip and the exchange. i will continue to work this summer (im already pretty much guaranteed to have one, but it’s a haunted walk tour guide job and, although my hourly salary is quite good, i have very few hours; ill have to find another job if the one i have at the moment is only seasonal). then, in early august, my boyfriend and i will leave canada together and travel all across the uk. i have already traveled with him to his homecity (manchester, uk) and it was absolutely lovely! we’ll spend around a month/a month and a half traveling together and i’m pretty sure it’ll go extremely well, as our last trip did. we traveled pretty early on in our relationship, so i feel like after around 2 years and a half of dating, this trip will be even better than the first!
after the trip, my boyfriend will go see his family in manchester and go back home to canada. i, on the other hand, will be staying in europe. the university i will attend for the semester is the queen mary university of london. the semester there starts on september 16th, so idk if there’ll be some introductory activities or when i can start living on campus. i might just travel on my own or go see some family friends in france if i have to wait around. all i know is that it’ll be quite lonely. then, i’ll go back to london and try my best to have a great semester.
obstacles
there are a few obstacles that i’ll have to face to first of all be accepted but also to live there. first, there is the language barrier, which i dont think should be too much of an issue but??? who knows???
my first language is french and the accent in english that im used to is like the most basic, neutral, slightly canadian accent. anyone who deviates from that, i might have a hard time understanding. also, handing in essays in english is a bit scary. ive done it before, as my university is bilingual and i attend french and english classes, but it still makes my work a bit longer to do and my english doesnt have the same quality as my french. it also makes the process longer since i have to write my motivation letter in the language of the university ill be attending (so english) and i have to PROVE that i can speak/understand/write english....i mean i get the incentive but also....anyway, i can just basically show ive had more than a B+ in a class in english and it counts as a proof. good thing 3/5 of my classes were only available in english i guess.
also, my university does exchange programs in a way that you have three choices of university and depending on your gpa and your motivation letter, they give you either your first, second or third choice. my three choices are:
-queen mary university of london
-royal holloway university of london
-reading university
of course, reading was a filler. i would have wanted to put manchester as a choice instead, but the choice wasnt available for my program. i have a pretty high gpa (so far i have 3 A+ and 1 A, waiting for my last grade) and im trying to writing the best motivation letter that i can. ill have to upkeep my gpa to be able to participate in the exchange so fingers crossed???
where are you now in the process?
not many things are left for me to do for the application, and that’s perfect because i have until the 22nd to send in my finished application form (and we are the 9th, and my term has started). there are other things to take care off AFTER the application (like some meetings and obviously doing my schedule and booking my dorm room) but im not there mentally now,,, its a bit discourageing when i know how much work ill have during the term lmao.
so NOW what i have left is:
-receiving my last grade from last semester so i can enter my gpa and a copy of my grades’ summary
-take a picture of myself in front of a white background (lowkey waiting to get a haircut for that)
-i had to prepare schedules for each school with like what classes id be attending. i have to get approved my first school choice by my “department counsellor”. that was very unclear so i basically sent a message to two people + my department so like démerdez-vous lmao. when i get the schedule approved, i’m pretty much gucci!
-also my bf and i have to figure out the whole trip, but we’ll prolly start planning in april, after finals and when we have most of the money we want/know what kind of income we’ll be making this summer
-finally, ill miss everyone, especially my boyfriend...itll feel a bit lonely so i rly wanna keep busy so i dnt get too mopey. i always told myself i wouldnt stop myself from going away even if i had a significant other and i wanna stay true to that but it doesn’t mean it wont hurt...i know we’ll last for very long tho so this is just a few months out of many many more and we can withstand it for sure!
so that was a rly big post!!! had fun writing this and im excited to see what’ll happen! i should know if i’m approved in around march, so i’ll probably not update this blog a lot until then... can’t wait to be able to update it with lotsa good news, hopefully!
-camille
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