#jesus theres two other ppl with my deadname in this class. she wouldnt be able to fucking tell by my first name alone anyway
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#um so im seething a little bit at my ceramics prof#like everyone kinda hates her bc she's gratuitously rude and gets pissed at us doing shit wrong when she hasnt said how to do it right?#and like yeah that sucks on itself but im so fucking mad she's really fucking particular about names and having the name on the piece match#the name on the list? even like petty shit like my friend who's the only person with the name on this class#even then she complained she didnt write her full name? 'how will i find you later to grade you' dog she's the only one!!#and. i didnt change my name officially bc i dont fucking want to! thats it i said it i dont wanna change my name officially#like technically i do i dont want my deadname anywhere ever but this is my 5th year and for all this time ive been pondering the orb of#name change and chosen not to bc this way is less hassle i dont wanna bring it up i dont want to feel vulnerable having to come out#which like is a very fair and valid feeling is it not?#anyway i signed the piece with my first initial and my last name. its not a common last name and the initial didnt change#shed be able to find me just fine#hell id be ok deadnaming myself for her no problem if only she didnt make me write it permanently on my little bowl#maybe i could have argued my case politely in a way that made sense but there were so many people around her desk and#and thats such a petty fucking nitpicky thing to do. complaining over the way ppl sign their fucking ceramic bowls#she said its bc she'll take the piece out of the oven and grade them right away but well maybe she could just wait a bit?#like so we can 'claim' our pieces if she isnt sure whose is it?#or idk maybe she could accept that its still pretty easy to id ppl without their whole ass name spelled out yknow#jesus theres two other ppl with my deadname in this class. she wouldnt be able to fucking tell by my first name alone anyway#and now its like i made a big fuss over something minor and i kinda feel like that too like couldnt i suck it up for just one more year#after ive made it this far choosing to keep quiet and let it wash over me?#but also idk. idk if im on the right here but it just feels super fucked up that i cant just say 'well i didnt write my full name bc#my full name isnt whats on your list anyway'#honestly id just ask for the goddamn name change but now im in the middle of the job and dont want that to give me trouble the other way#around. like i dont want the names not to match up with the bank and shit#see??? this fucking godamn web all bc she cant read my last name or sth#ugh anyway my friend covered for me when she asked why i hadnt presented my pieces for grading#that was really nice of him we're not even that close. he said i felt ill lmao which honestly? its true#i finished my shit put in the shelf and up and left at 11 to have lunch#i really lucked out he actually stayed until the end of the class and he was one of the first ppl at uni i came out to bc we did a group#project last year
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