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I am so deeply sorry to the Tumblr Community.

I had become desperate. My Kermit plushie was destroyed months ago, and I spent YEARS making love to that muppet's sweet hole every single day for hours. I have been driven mad with need and resorted to online outlets. For a while, I supported artists within the Muppet porn community. But it was not enough. I needed to watch the Muppet hole in 4k. I needed video. But there are not a hell of a lot of muppets in the porn industry... I must confess to watching AI generated Muppet Porn. As someone deeply against AI, I am filled with regret. As a Christian, I am mortified. I will be attending confession with a priest regarding this manner and taking some time offline until I feel right with God and with my people. I will make an effort to only watch hand drawn muppet porn from now on and stop supporting the use of AI. Thank you for your understanding as I work through this difficult time.

I am sorry to have let you down.

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I listen to my Chemical romance but I'm not an emo. Am I still aloud to interact?

WAY TO REMIND ME OF MY GERARD WAY TRAUMA, WHORE OF TUMBLR! *I snarl deep and low but you can tell I am pushing down my Wrathful Vriska Kintype because my Christian Faith demands I shall not kill*

You claim you are not emo scum, and yet you listen to The Chemical... Get out of my sight. *I mercifully allow you to leave my blog alive*

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Ah yes, December 25th. My birthday. Not an important day for any other reason...

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will you die at 33 like jesus did?

Yes it is the consequence of being the only real Catholic out there. I believe it will happen after I rise to power through controversial means, legalize crucifixion, am eventually found guilty of crimes the good people of America have never even heard of, and am killed by my own followers in an act of vigilante justice through the same execution method I used to eliminate all of my rivals. As I bleed out on the cross, I will look to the heavens and say, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing." Then God will reveal His plan was to abandon me all along, and I will say Fuck That and jump off the cross and Joker Everybody to Death

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So what if I am wearing a KFC uniform and my special muppet hat? I am still the cuntiest bitch at the roller rink

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okay so, i have enough information for your rough birthchart... you're likely a capricorn sun, likely taurus moon (if you were born at like.... just past midnight you'd aries moon). it's cool that your mars (energy, drive, sex) is in pisces (spirituality, dissolving of boundaries, poetry). that sextiles (links in a beneficial way) your capricorn (dedication, longevity) mercury (communication, intellect). that's like hello, you're dedicated spiritually, sexually and mentally to muppet sex! and that your jupiter in cancer ALSO aspects both these placements. jupiter the sign of expansion and of good fortune is exalted in cancer, which means it loves being in the sign and performs it's job well. so this dedication to muppet sex with bring you good fortune and good fortune with give you muppet sex.

my guess (might be off base but hey ho) is that you are ruled by your pisces mars. so my guess would be either aries or scorpio rising, leaning towards scorpio for your joker rage. i think that puts your time of birth around 3 - 5 am. also i didn't know where to put it but the sign of pisces is the sign most associated with jesus christ lmao. feeding of da fish.

I am actually astounded that you accurately guessed my birth time. Astrology is real, but only on Tumblr

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how are you holding up, croaker? has any of your old roomates tried contacting you? hows milton?

Milton has not spoken to me since I tried to shoot him with a gun and Athena and I got legally married but it did not work out due to an attempted crucifixion!

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Didn’t Milton forgive you

It's complicated... I believe he needs space from me still. Which I respect.

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I miss my Ham

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soooooo are you bi now because you married athena???

No. I am actually Bisexual now for many other reasons including my Jesus Kintype (I believe God to be pan) and also due to Vi from Arcane and how I yearn for her

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I just found the most cursed ship and now you need to be cursed too

WHY

WHO MADE THIS

WHO IS THIS FOR????

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Get multiplied by 1 @croaker-conspiracies

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My coworkers are doing a "holiday party" today at the KFC and are exchanging secret Santa gifts. I was not invited to participate... would it be overreacting if I sat in the parking lot, screaming and howling at the top of my lungs?

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It’s a Croaker Christmas

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milord, will you be at dashcon 2 OwO? i hear there is a duel you must fight in, you must win

I will march into Dashcon with an army of muppets behind me. I will win my duel, and I will vanish into the crowd, a lone soul who has vanquished my rival. Such is the life of a Joker

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can i dress as like, a slug or something and still follow thine great countenance

Any may follow. Few will survive