#prawny complains

[dudewithastick]

sneaky peek at my current wip (also the first wip i had in months) and some thots on it. i need to rant (complain) so bear with me

so far its going pretty good, it doesn’t look bad and thats cool bcs i defs wouldve given up if it did look bad at this point.

obviously this is some kind of realism style and its okay, its not the best, idc. what sucks is that i dont even want this style but its the only one i can do. like i wanna do cartoons and other artsy stuff with clear lines or just sketching. stuff i see online, but i CANNOT do it, no matter how hard i try. i will always do some realistic shadowing and then its over bcs the composition isnt right for me anymore. and i hate it bcs not only would my life be so much easier if i wouldnt fall into this kind of ‘realistic’ style, which is straight up a pain, id be so much more productive as well. but i’m some weird perfectionist dumbass (blame it on my virgo rising or whatever) so shading and tiny details it is.

speaking of details, i love that i accidentally built this wip on my sketch file, which was not nearly a good enough format and now the quality SUCKS ASS but thats nothing new to me so i’m just gonna accept that every detail i draw is like 5 pixels only and you can barely see them.

another thing i suck at is color theory. and when i started this project (yesterday) i was set on doing only b&w. literally 3 seconds in i used colors and i regretted it immediately bcs it looked good which meant i had to continue bcs we dont do half assed shit… so now i committed to color and i don’t understand color theory. like i can see it working but it doesn’t make sense and all i do is experiment bcs i see no sense or pattern (now i question my tiktok diagnosis of autism, neurodivergence and adhd)

at this point i have also given up at originality. im just copying my references picture, which is fine bcs i will never be able to draw a whole ass person, and i would defs not be satisfied if i wouldn’t add details. so now im stuck at drawing a whole military outfit and my reference picture is also only 9 pixels so i cant even make out what im drawing. i’m just guessing at this point.

okay for now the last part of my complaining… @blnk338 why did u choose such a unique mask for reaper? the way i struggled with the concept and its still not perfect but i dont wanna get hung up on it so i’m moving all over the place and going back to the mask every other minute… pretty sure the mask design alone took me 2 hours to put together so it made sense to my brain and then another 3 to design to my liking lmao

anyway this is a snippet of my current take on reaper from rwys, which so far is only the body but there will probs be eyes at some point, if i dont give up. first time in months, almost years of drawing something, so i guess big thanks to blink for giving me the motivation and a character to work on for fun. hopefully i can give an update on progress soon lol

[blnk338]

hello there fellow human (if you identify as one, if not... i dont intend to be offensive)

prawny here to be annoying... just for a sec tho, but i need to come around and complain (affectionately). do u know what a chore it is to be keeping up with rwys and all the blnk stuff going on when ur life's a busy hell ride?

like, the two seconds a day i have left for entertainment go into checking my mails and tumblr and all i see is rwys updates, which - good for everyone, but the cycle of falling behind is starting up again over here urgh... my fomo and tight af schedule are fighting to the brink of existence over here

the way i am accustomed to writers updating every 6-10 business months is just not working on you and i am amazed and very much intimidated by the massive chapters you keep producing as if your mind is automatically printing the words instead of you having to sit down and actually write them. what is this whichcraft?

i think i need a sip from your potion of productivity bcs i get absolutely nothing done lmao...

anyway, gotta run to bed and pretend to not being alive for 6 hours. i will be popping up like a cockroach again sometime in the future tho

id say that ill slow down, but there's no stopping for now, prawny!!

always good to hear from you-- hope u get more free time and u sleep well!! :D

[writtentomeasure-blog]

The Difficulties of Monster Assignment [example text]

Inspired by this promt by @writing-prompt-s!

You might wonder why the walls of the office were painted black. You might also wonder, why all windows were covered. (Perhaps the person working there was allergic to sunlight?) Not quite. And of course, you might wonder why the writing desk and chair were hanging from the ceiling. (Perhaps the person working there was a bat?) Yes, sort of. Vanita was not exactly a bat, meaning she was not a small, black mammal with the unusual ability to fly. She could fly, at least a little bit, and she was closer to being a mammal than, say, a reptile or fish. But Vanita was not that small and she had no particular talent for echolocation. She was very fluffy, and pitch black, with small, fail wings. And she was head of the CBD of the MAC – that's short for Children's' Bed Department of the Monster Assignment Centre –, Nightmare Alley 12-14, Worryville. I am sure you assume that Vanita was an especially skilled bed monster, being in such a position. As it is, she was dreadful, and not in the sense they wanted her to be. She was dreadful by being not so dreadful at all, and therefore unsuited for actually doing her work. The Big Boss decided she would do best in an office, and now she's the Not So Big Boss of millions of monsters. That's the customary process in most authorities, and Vanita's world as well as ours. In case you didn't know, authorities are people who decide about other people's lives to their own entertainment, even though the people they make decisions about are not necessarily entertained. Just like dentists and gym teachers, the monsters were entertained by the dread of small children – who were not particularly entertained by the monsters. Except for Vanita, of course. Everyone agreed that she was not of much use.

“Vanita, get up here,” called the Big Boss. Of course, the Not So Big Boss did as she was told. “What do you want me for?” she asked her boss, who scowled at her. “As you are aware, we've had four very problematic children these nights, and you've sent out our most proficient monsters last week. Any results so far?”

“Well, Jerome didn't get to sleep these nights, and fell behind in school,” said Vanita as she took a seat. “Just yesterday, he got a D in his favourite subject.”

“Very bad,” noted the Big Boss approvingly and took a note in a small purple book. “And Chelsea,” continued Vanita, “was unable to sleep alone. She always joined her parents at night.”

“But no monster could follow her there, that's good,” said the Big Boss with another, gloomy scowl. “Well yes,” said Vanita, “but her parents are very annoyed by her and started to complain a lot. Sooner or later, she'll have to sleep in her bed again, and she's very unhappy about arguing with her parents so much.”

“That makes for another unhappy child, thank you.”

“And Matthew,” said Vanita, “began to talk about creepy dreams in school and at his friends' homes. All grown ups are very concerned and call him a bad, and frightening influence on their children, and so he's got no one to play with.”

“Quite an outcast, heh?” asked the Big Boss and chuckled. “And what about that other girl, Annie?”

“I assume you mean, Annabelle, sir,” said Vanita and shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She was anxious about this question for quite a while now. “Well, she's... she's dyed-in-the-wool, I'm afraid to say.”

The Big Boss scowled even more by now, almost covering his half dozen eyes with his brow. “What does that mean, dyed-in-the-wool?” he asked. “Well,” said Vanita, “it means she's unteachable, incorrigible, there's no-”

“I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!”

“But you said-”

“We've send her Vlad, haven't we?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And he's our best monster, isn't he?”

“He is, indeed.”

“Then why isn't she frightened by now?”

Vanita took a deep breath. “I have no idea,” she said. That wasn't quite true. Usually the phrase “I have no idea,” is used to indicate that one doesn't know, and Vanita certainly did not know. However, in her case, the phrase didn't really apply, as she did have an idea. She thought that maybe-

“Vlad is much to valuable to continue working on a hopeless case,” said the Big Boss, disturbing her thoughts as the bed monsters disturb sleeping children and beautiful dreams. “We'll need him for something appropriate, you see.”

“And who's going to bother Annabelle?” asked Vanita, who couldn't think of a monster able to frighten that girl. “Should we just leave her alone?”

“LEAVE HER ALONE?” The Big Boss was appalled. “What do you mean, leave her alone?”

“I mean-”

“Stop it, Vanita. You will find someone to take care of her – just not a good monster. Someone who will bother her in time, without being wasted as much as Vlad would be.”

“I could do it,” said Vanita. She had no idea (okay, almost an idea) why she suggested herself. The words simply came out of her snout.

“You? Don't be ridiculous. Your adorable, it's disgusting. Nobody could be frightened of you.”

“Well, perhaps her? After all, she's had pretty much all of us under her bed by now. Or would you like to volunteer?” Of course, he didn't. And so he said: “I suppose it's your job to assign monsters. But who's going to fill your shoes then?” Of course, Vanita wasn't wearing any shoes. He meant “But who's going to fill your chair then?”

“Whoever I replace with Vlad – he's in need of a job, after all.” And so that was decided.

Monsters don't have luggage. They don't eat or drink the way you and I do, nor do they have to use the potty toilet. And most importantly, monsters usually wear no clothes, and those who do always wear the same. It is a mystery to me, and all monsterologists or monster biographers (I myself am of the latter kind – at least, that's what I am closer to than the first) how they manage to not get dirty. Except, of course, for the dirty monsters. Long story short: Vanita didn't have to prepare a lot. She called Vlad and Prawny into her office, and told them that Vlad would take over Prawny's job (a girl named Jessica, who was semi-easily frightened) while Prawny was to take care of her office for a while. “Does that mean I've sunken that low?” he asked in a devastated voice. “Actually,” said Vanita, “you've got an upgrade – at least for a while. And it is not because of your qualifications in any way, so stop complaining.”

Then, she went into the DBR (Default Bed Room) of the CBD of the MAC. It looked like the most average children's' room you could imagine. It was light (unlike the other rooms – which made it very uncomfortable and frightening for most monsters) and colourful (that was even worse!) and contained a writing desk, toys, posters, and – most importantly – the BIB of the DBR of the CBD of the MAC: the Big Important Bed, representative of all children's' beds, cradles, cribs, bunk beds and sleeping bags in our world. It was the only way for a monster to get under a child's bed quickly, and without being caught, and so Vanita crouched down, and whispered “Annabelle, the brave girl's bed” three times, while crawling under the BIB. At first, nothing happened. Then it got dark.

Vanita hasn't haunted the space between a child's bed and the floor in years, and almost forgot how it feels to travel there. It was as though for a short period of time her body vanished (even for her, it was to dark to see if that was true) and then, slowly put together again, while the slight lights of the room began to reveal her surroundings. She was nested between spiderwebs, dust bunnies, chewing gum and sum old toys. There was also a book (apparently for very small children – Annabelle must have lost it years ago – and hard candy. Otherwise, there was only dust and Vanita.

“I'm going to make my homework,” Vanita could hear an inappropriately excited voice shout near the door, through which a little girl came into the room. She looked older than she did on the photo in her files, and much more tired. Perhaps nine, pale, with dark rings under her eyes. She looked physically healthy, but apparently she didn't sleep a lot lately. How could that be? Vanita wondered. After all, she hasn't been scared yet. Vanita crouched closer to the edge of the bed – reminding her slightly of that one time she was almost suspended for leaving her space under the bed, and making herself visible to a human being – and tried to peek at the girl, without making the same old mistake. The girl really did make her homework, or at least it looked as though she did. She sat on her writing desk, and wrote eagerly in a big notebook. She did not seem to enjoy it, but it didn't bother her either. She merely worked herself through it. “Stupid Clarissa,” she said silently to herself, without taking a break from writing, “and stupid Andrew, and stupid Kevin, and stupid Miranda, and stupid...” It went on and on like that. When she was finished with her homework, she always stopped saying “stupid” and names. Instead she threw herself on her bed, almost crushing Vanita. For such a small, thin thing, she was surprisingly heavy.

I wonder what's wrong, thought Vanita to herself. But nobody answered. (Of course, nobody could hear her, but she was still sad about it. She belonged to a colony like a crow belonged to a murder, and not under a bed.) There was silence for a while, until it slowly got darker. Then, Annabelle said: “You are not Vlad.” Vanita said nothing. “Who are you?” asked the girl. Again, no reply. “Do you think you can make me stop just by ignoring me? They don't stop when being ignored and neither will I!” The a bump! the girl jumped out of bed and landed just beside Vanita. The monster didn't move, didn't breathe (not that she'd needed to) and didn't speak. Annabelle got closer, and was finally lying next to her new monster. “You don't look like a monster,” she said, with a surprising fearfulness in her voice. Vanita suspected that a girl who wasn't frightened by the worst of all monsters could maybe feel uneasy with a monster that never frightened anybody before, but she was still surprised by the child's sudden change of heart. “I- I mean... you don't look like a human, of course, or like most animals, but you are not... you are not like Vlad or Gloomy or Bigfang or...” and again, she went on and on with names. But this time, she was not repulsed by them. She talked about all those monsters as you would talk about your friends. She liked them, Vanita thought. And she doesn't like me... yet. At this, Vanita had to fight with her thoughts, as Annabelle was still busy listing monsters. I don't want her to like me, she thought. I don't want her to. Or do I? No, I don't!

They spent several minutes making lists and arguing with their thoughts, until Annabelle finally asked the great question. Monsters were not bound to keep their names a secret, even with humans, and so, as Annabelle said “What is your name?” it was clear that Vanita would give an honest reply. Excepts he didn't. “Why don't you want to tell me?” said the girl. “I don't want to become your friend,” said Vanita. At that, the girl only made said, “oh.” There was another, long silence.

When it was finally night, Vanita said: “Don't you want to go to bed now?”

“Technically, I am.”

“I mean the upper side of your bed.”

“So you can haunt my dreams?”

“I guess so.”

“Nice try.” The girl frowned, which Vanita could hardly see in this darkness. “Actually, now that I think of it... it wasn't so nice of a try. Actually, it was pretty bad. Vlad did more to try to frighten me.”

“Vlad is a much better monster, than me. Or worse, if you want to put it that way.”

“So why did I get you now?”

“Because you've overcome every single of our other monsters.”

“Overcome? But I was their friend!” said the girl. “That's what I mean. You are not supposed to be friends with monsters. They are here to frighten you.”

“What for?”

“Well, for... I don't know. I suppose they enjoy it.”

“Just like the others?”

“The other monsters?”

“No, of course not. I mean the other kids. They enjoy it, too.”

“I've never heard of kids behaving that way,” said Vanita. “Are you sure they are not monsters?” The girl frowned again. “Maybe they are, they seem to be more like monsters than Vlad and the others... except for you.”

“Me? Why me? Everybody tells me that I am the least of a monster.” The girl laughed at that. “Well, obviously you are... but it doesn't matter to me. You are so nice.”

“So what?”

“I said, you are so nice,” said the girl. “I know what you said! I wondered why it should bother you.  Shouldn't that frighten you much less?” The girl did not respond for a while, than opened her mouth as though she wanted to say something, and changed her mind. She crawled out the slot again and into her bed, and finally slept, although not too well. Vanita tried her best to haunt her dreams, but couldn't come up with anything original or frightening. Annabelle's sleep was disturbed, but not ruined.

It was Vanita, who had nightmares. Actually, I should call them daymares, as she slept during Annabelle's time at school. When her protege returned home, she woke up as a tired, confused mess of a monster.

“Big-Furry-Bat-Thing, whatever your name is, we have to talk,” said the girl as she closed the door behind her. “I don't care if it isn't night yet, I've got to tell you something until I forget the right words again.” You might have experienced the need to be alone, to think through a dialogue with some other person, or even a monologue you would tell another person. Time to find words for your feelings, which you have never assigned any words, because you didn't need them before. Well, that was why Annabelle left the space under the bed last night, and she found those words in school.

“They are always so nice to me. So friendly. The teachers, and their parents, and my parents, they all say I'm so kind. But they aren't. I know what they mean.” She took a break, and a breath. “I wish they would hit me!” she said, and then took another deep breath, in shock over her own words. “Yes, I wish they would hit me, so I could show my bruises!” She began to walk around in her room. “I wish they would insult me, loudly, so I could defend myself, and everyone else would hear, and defend me to. But all they do is saying, 'oh, Annabelle, you look so pretty today' and 'Belle, you are so very smart, and doing your schoolwork so well' and 'Aaaannabelle, what a nice sweater you are wearing, did your grandma make it for you?' and laugh so very dreadfully when I thank them, and when I tell the teachers, they just tell me I should be happy about the compliment.”

The girl crouched down beside the bed again, and joined Vanita. “And then,” she continued, “when we are alone, they hang me in a tree, but when I show my scratches, they say I wasn't careful enough, and they would have helped me out of it. And Clarissa always copies my homework, and says I would have copied hers!”

“And the monsters?” asked Vanita. The girl chucked, much too bitterly for a child. “They say 'booooh!' and make me dream of spiders and spinach.”

“I understand. My name is Vanita,” said the girl's new monster, and Annabelle slowly nodded (Vanita could not see, but feel it) and crawled out again. The homework went by silently, and so did the obligatory playing with her legos, and then she read a book. Soon afterwards, Annabelle went to bed again, and fell asleep quickly. Vanita haunted her dreams again.

“We will take care of those kids,” she whispered in the child's dream, “and I will be your friend – as long as you promise, you will pretend to be frightened on next every Thursday – that's when Prawny will examine every nursery and children's room, to make sure, every child is afraid of their monster.”

When Annabelle woke up, she smiled and said: “I promise.” From that day on she had a monster as a friend, and made a new friend in school almost every week.

[almondbiscotti]

WFH Day 7: 15 April 2020

7.01am – Woke up randomly. Not sure if it was my alarm but I don’t remember turning it off. Realise the Housemate is still home. That’s odd, doesn’t his shift start at 7am!?

7.08am – Clearly Housemate is late hurhur. BYE HOUSEMATE I LOVE YOU

8.00am – Google alarm wakes me. Whoa, one hour felt like one second.

8.31am – AH FUCK IT’S 830!? I check in on dept group chat. 1 minute late but it’s fine. I guess ☹

8.32am – Why am I so tired?! I didn’t sleep very late yesterday! Must have been the damn work out yesterday. Gosh.

8.35am – Scroll scroll social media. Watch American YouTuber. Briefly consider doing my own vlogs. Argh but editing must be a bitch. And don’t think anyone really wants to watch my hobo self be marginally productive at home.

9.02am – Okay, time to get up proper. Standard morning routine. It’s not half as exciting as these YouTubers. Bowel movement (is it just me or do Housemate and I go through toilet paper like a bullet train?!?!?), wash face, brush teeth, smack some skin care product on my face. I’m not very conscientious with morning skin care. I supposed WFH should encourage me to be so but…. The hobo look is my jam.

9.23am – Fuss over my plant babies. I sowed some goji berry seeds some days ago. I hope all my positive thoughts and prayers help it grow!

9.36am – COFFEE! And water! I’ve really been drinking a lot of water recently. Is good. 😊 No dalgona coffee today because Housemate isn’t around to drink it with me. Also, a bit lazy. 3 in 1 is good enough for my peasant ass.

9.45am – Think about lunch. Should I defrost some meat? OH LET’S MAKE PRAWN AGLIO OGLIO!

9.46am – Take prawns out to defrost. The trick to excellent prawn pasta is frying prawn heads and shells in plenty of oil to make a crazy good prawn oil base. And a shit tonne of garlic. I LOVE GARLIC.

9.50am – OKAY WORK WORK WORK. CLEAR EMAILS!

10.14am – I think I shall make kimbap for dinner. Make NTUC shopping list for kimbap later. 😊 YAY

11.13am – Boss text to say need to delay our VC that was supposed to start at 11.30, to start at 11.45am. Hmmm I put on a nice shirt too early.

11.38 – VC gets cancelled cos boss’ previous meeting has majorly overran. I PUT ON A NICE SHIRT FOR NOTHING.

12.01pm – LUNCH TIME!!!

12.02pm – CHOP CHOP CHOP FRY FRY FRY. I use like 8 cloves of garlic for one serving of pasta. LOVE LOVE LOVE garlic.

12.28pm – Lunch is ready. Oily prawny carby goodness. I love. 😊 Prawn aglio oglio is great! I really enjoy making my own lunch now that I can at home. It’s a great destresser. Just don’t like washing up so much. 

12.40pm – I watch Yeolo as I eat. Seriously his face, I cannot.

1.02pm – Okay shower and prep my face for interviews later!

1.32pm – I look so put together when I put in some effort.

1.50pm – I chat with a director who is an interviewer with me while waiting for the other interviewers. I always like conversations with him. He’s funny. 😊

2.06pm – All my interviewers are here!

2.18pm – First interview starts!

2.32pm – Gosh, one of the interviewers is really intense! Brings back memories of my own interview many years ago.

3.24pm – Break time! Everyone goes to the toilet. Housemate is home! And he bought prata back for me! YAY!

3.30pm – Next candidate!

5.32pm – ALL DONE WITH INTERVIEWS!

5.34pm – MY TAOBAO PACKAGE IS HERE!

5.40pm – Jesus the amount of packaging. Also, package from China, I wipe the heck out of it with alcohol wipes. 

5.45pm – WHY ARE THERE SO MANY THINGS IN MY PACKAGE? I DON’T REMEMBER BUYING SO MANY THINGS?!?!?!?

5.57pm – Seriously, there are more free gifts than actual things I ordered what the flying fuck?

5.58pm – I mean, I’m not complaining but I bought just 3 skincare items and I got a humidifier, 2 travel packs, 5 face masks, a frickin PILLOW and a pouch in addition to the stuff I actually bought. WHAT. THE. WHAT. The auntie in me is incredibly happy, the Singaporean in me is bewildered and a little paranoid.

6.10pm – KIMBAP!!!! I ignore texts by colleagues. I’ll deal with them later after I get my KIM BAP!

6.11pm – Trip to NTUC to buy the ingredients I need.

7.02pm – Back home! KIM BAP KIM BAP KIM BAP

7.32pm – I have no idea how much rice to cook so I completely wing it. 1.5 cups seem about right. 

7.40pm – Spam, imitation crab, cucumber, carrot, egg, bucket loads of sesame oil, pinch of salt. LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

7.50pm – I have way more ingredients than rice. I hope this works. 

8.02pm – HEYYYYY IT TASTES PRETTY GOOD! Even though I’m not using the right type of rice. And I have no bamboo mat to roll my rolls so my rolls are quite loose.

8.26pm – Housemate says nice! YAY!

9.20pm – I should probably email my colleague what she wanted. Meh.

9.52pm - I should approve all the leave and work related claims of my staff. Hopefully the work VPN doesn’t fail me. PLEASE DON’T FAIL ME. Patience is not a virtue I possess.

10.20pm - JESUS THIS VPN IS SLOW. At least it’s still spluttering along. Don’t die on me please. 

10.26pm – Phew finished all that I needed to finish! 😊

And there ends WFH day 7!