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guys ive never drawn a strider before they scared me
#art#homestuck#dave strider#dirk strider#my art#sketch#i drew dirk first with the sketch brush#and forgot to draw dave in that brush#but W/E#im drawing them as close to sprite as possible#bc i gotta start somewhere#headcanons are for later :p
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when will these horrors (tummy upset) cease
#actually it started with heartburn#bc I layed down#even tho it's been like 5 hours since I ate and laying down should not have triggered the acid reflux#so I took some tums#but sometimes when I take tums the tummy ache gets worse for a short bit and then alleviates#.. i probably didn't drink enough water with em..#I'm just trying to figure out what triggered it#I had pasta with a mushroom sauce and broccoli#I also had some vegetable & bean soup#and then I had coffee#oh you know what. could've been the margarita I had with lunch I did think it was a little too sweet for my liking#overly sweet/sickly sweet alcoholic beverages always upset my stomach#and make me feel like shit#now kids. this is why I need to just buy the ingredients and make a margarita at home so it's to my liking and won't make me sick!#and it works out to be cheaper!#I also dont drink That Much maybe a drink a week if that#so whatever ingredients I buy will last me forever actually#I just. need to figure out what tequila & organe liquor combo I prefer#might try that one I see That Old Man wear the shirt for. casamigos?#like okay old man I'll cave and try the only product youve ever shilled for#bc I gotta start somewhere#it's also been recommended to me by other people too so.. it's not just bc The Old Man shills it. that's only a slight factor#where was I going with this. if ur still reading this far im giving you a kiss on the forehead
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Bran The Time Traveling Toddler
Yes that IS a reference to the Tyrion the time traveling fetus theory. The thing about MY insane theories is that they actually make sense and I’m right. Follow me please down the worm hole!!
There’s very clearly Someone Influencing things when it comes to the Starklings and even the overreaching plot in general - there’s enough weird magic surrounding them, whispering in the wind, that it’s a no brainer they’re being watched over. The question is WHO and WHEN. For me, personally, I think it’s Bran, and I think it’s an older Bran from the future (whether it be Bran In TWOW and ADOS or Bran post canon) trying to lead his siblings to safety.
Now, like my Harrenhal meta, I don’t think I’m saying anything new so much as compiling what people have said scattered across the interwebs. There’s a lot of theories about whether Bran can time travel, time travel in general in the series, how george has dealt with time travel before, and about the three eyed crow’s identity and I agree with bits and pieces of what other people have said - preston jacobs is a more famous example of this theory for example. But I don't want to get caught up on things like time travel paradoxes because, like, i don’t care about that, and george has talked about how time travel is more fantasy than scifi bc it’s just not really scientifically possible. do you know what that means? it means there’s no weird physical paradoxes because it’s ✨magic✨ and Bran isn't literally going through space and time. It's as Jojen says-
With two eyes you see my face. With three you could see my heart. With two you can see that oak tree there. With three you could see the acorn the oak grew from and the stump that it will one day become. With two you see no farther than your walls. With three you would gaze south to the Summer Sea and north beyond the Wall
Through his greenseeing abilities, Bran can see the whole of a lifespan, from conception to burial, and can pop out at any point in that lifespan, because a span of 100, 1000, or 1,000,000 years is all the same to the weirwood. So I don't think it's in the realm of Crazy Ass Theories to say that Bran is capable of a more magic based form of time travel. That he can whisper in people's dreams, on the wind, taking on the voice of the old gods themselves and doing his best to nudge things the way he needs them to be in order to keep the people he loves safe.
I also don't think Bloodraven is Three Eyed Crow (though I do think he also uses this metaphor of "flying" wrt magic, and that's why Euron also has a comment about flying in his dreams - I just don't believe that metaphor originates with Brynden himself. Rather, I think he picked it up from somewhere else), but instead, it's Bran, using the weirwood network to get all the pieces on the board he needs where he needs them to be for the endgame. Notice that Brynden doesn't seem to know what Bran is talking about when he mentions the Three Eyed Crow-
"Are you the three-eyed crow?" Bran heard himself say. A three-eyed crow should have three eyes. He has only one, and that one red. Bran could feel the eye staring at him, shining like a pool of blood in the torchlight. Where his other eye should have been, a thin white root grew from an empty socket, down his cheek, and into his neck. "A … crow?" The pale lord's voice was dry. His lips moved slowly, as if they had forgotten how to form words. "Once, aye. Black of garb and black of blood."
Brynden mentions the watch, but doesn't mention the three eyed crow. Everyone simply refers to Brynden as the greenseer, not the three eyed crow, except for Bran himself, who simply assumes Brynden is the three eyed crow (and we know magical assumptions in this series are generally wrong!).
What’s double interesting to me about this “bloodraven is the three eyed crow” assumption is brynden himself makes his “a thousand eyes and one” comment - but doesn’t mention a third eye. Meanwhile, Bran’s narrative is obviously filled with bird references and the opening of his third eye from Bran feeding the crows on the towers before he falls then longing to go back to the crows afterwards, of a crow sending Jojen to “the winged wolf,” of his dreams of living as a bird in maester luwin’s rookery with his siblings - Jon Snow even compares him to a bird in their final scene face to face when he thinks bran has “fingers like the bones of birds.”
And notable that though both Rickon and Bran have a greendream where they talk to Ned in the crypts of Winterfell just before Ned is executed, Rickon makes no mention of a three eyed crow, but Bran explicitly sees him-
The mention of dreams reminded him. "I dreamed about the crow again last night. The one with three eyes. He flew into my bedchamber and told me to come with him, so I did. We went down to the crypts. Father was there, and we talked. He was sad."
"Shaggy," a small voice called. When Bran looked up, his little brother was standing in the mouth of Father's tomb. With one final snap at Summer's face, Shaggydog broke off and bounded to Rickon's side. "You let my father be," Rickon warned Luwin. "You let him be." "Rickon," Bran said softly. "Father's not here." "Yes he is. I saw him." Tears glistened on Rickon's face. "I saw him last night."
What that says to me is that the Three Eyed Crow has the ability to speak directly to only Bran and can only otherwise appear in a more ephemeral way to others. With the established rules about not being able to communicate properly with the past, I think this makes sense - being able to use the weirwood hivemind/greenseeing powers to appear in a different form to yourself but unable to appear in a concrete form to anyone else.
I think it's even likely we'll see Bran doing some of this nudging and whispering on page in ADOS or maybe as early as TWOW, but it won't be the exact same sort of "Bran can literally reach out and touch someone in a weirwood dream" that they had in the show with the later scenes. It'll be more like that very first scene in the show where we see Bran influence the past slightly - you know, when he calls out "father!" and young Ned turns around, having heard a voice on the wind-
And there's a direct parallel to ADWD here, where Bran is certain Ned heard him speaking in the godswood but Brynden says it's not possible (not possible for Brynden perhaps!)-
Lord Eddard Stark sat upon a rock beside the deep black pool in the godswood, the pale roots of the heart tree twisting around him like an old man's gnarled arms. The greatsword Ice lay across Lord Eddard's lap, and he was cleaning the blade with an oilcloth. "Winterfell," Bran whispered. His father looked up. "Who's there?" he asked, turning … … and Bran, frightened, pulled away. His father and the black pool and the godswood faded and were gone and he was back in the cavern, the pale thick roots of his weirwood throne cradling his limbs as a mother does a child.
It's not quite time travel. It's like the acorn and stump metaphor - Bran can't appear in his physical body in the past but he can make a bit of noise, perhaps even be mistaken for one of the old gods.
As TWOW and ADOS go on, I think we'll see Bran's powers grow (likely in ways that frighten him and horrify the reader), and we'll see the very beginnings of him influencing the plot that happens during the previous books, showing up in scenes we've already experienced, similar to the Ned scene above. I think this because, well...he's already done it!
Now, as for What Time Traveling Bran Has Already Done - it’s tricky because we have a LOT of magic users waking and shaking. I’m not including every single instance of weird whispering or funny birds here, just the moments I think are more likely to be Bran than anyone else because I think Bran mostly deals with his siblings. I imagine they're easiest to reach out to magically because they already have the ability to access magic, and they're also the people he cares most about. The most obvious to me is in A Clash of Kings, when Jon hears a voice on the wind, very similar to the young Ned scene in the show-
Jon VII in A Clash of Kings
The call came from behind him, softer than a whisper, but strong too. Can a shout be silent? He turned his head, searching for his brother, for a glimpse of a lean grey shape moving beneath the trees, but there was nothing, only … A weirwood. It seemed to sprout from solid rock, its pale roots twisting up from a myriad of fissures and hairline cracks. The tree was slender compared to other weirwoods he had seen, no more than a sapling, yet it was growing as he watched, its limbs thickening as they reached for the sky. Wary, he circled the smooth white trunk until he came to the face. Red eyes looked at him. Fierce eyes they were, yet glad to see him. The weirwood had his brother’s face. Had his brother always had three eyes?
Not always, came the silent shout. Not before the crow. He sniffed at the bark, smelled wolf and tree and boy, but behind that there were other scents, the rich brown smell of warm earth and the hard grey smell of stone and something else, something terrible. Death, he knew. He was smelling death. He cringed back, his hair bristling, and bared his fangs.
Don’t be afraid, I like it in the dark. No one can see you, but you can see them. But first you have to open your eyes. See? Like this. And the tree reached down and touched him.
This moment was when I really started paying attention to Weird Shit Bran Might Be Doing because of that line "not before the crow." Now, we know Bran mentions talking with Jon later on, in the very last chapter of the book, here-
He could reach Summer whenever he wanted, and once he had even touched Ghost and talked to Jon. Though maybe he had only dreamed that.
But I think it's both Bran in the present and Bran in ADOS speaking here - brothers reaching out to each other in their fear, and future Bran piggybacking off that connection to send a warning (this is back in Jon VII, during the shared Jon-Bran dream as before)-
Then he realized he was looking at a river of ice several thousand feet high. Under that glittering cold cliff was a great lake, its deep cobalt waters reflecting the snowcapped peaks that ringed it. There were men down in the valley, he saw now; many men, thousands, a huge host. Some were tearing great holes in the half-frozen ground, while others trained for war...This is no army, no more than it is a town. This is a whole people come together.
Bran warns Jon of the wildling army headed their way because he needs the Night’s Watch to stop fighting the wildlings, get them safely out of the True North (so they can’t be reanimated as wights), and focus on the Long Night. When you read the passage, it seems as if Bran is trying to awaken Jon’s third eye - something present baby Bran isn’t concerned with, because he barely understands his own third eye awakening. But a Bran in ADOS or beyond would know exactly what to say and do to get Jon and himself to wake up! Not just because of the paradox, but because of his connection to his brother and his vast understanding of his own magic. Similar to the idea that “who would know how to motivate Bran better than Bran himself” who would know how to motivate Jon better than one of his beloved siblings?
Arya X in A Clash of Kings
In the godswood she found her broomstick sword where she had left it, and carried it to the heart tree. There she knelt. Red leaves rustled. Red eyes peered inside her. The eyes of the gods. "Tell me what to do, you gods," she prayed.
For a long moment there was no sound but the wind and the water and the creak of leaf and limb. And then, far far off, beyond the godswood and the haunted towers and the immense stone walls of Harrenhal, from somewhere out in the world, came the long lonely howl of a wolf. Gooseprickles rose on Arya's skin, and for an instant she felt dizzy. Then, so faintly, it seemed as if she heard her father's voice. "When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives," he said.
“But there is no pack," she whispered to the weirwood. Bran and Rickon were dead, the Lannisters had Sansa, Jon had gone to the Wall. "I'm not even me now, I'm Nan."
"You are Arya of Winterfell, daughter of the north. You told me you could be strong. You have the wolf blood in you."
"The wolf blood." Arya remembered now. "I'll be as strong as Robb. I said I would." She took a deep breath, then lifted the broomstick in both hands and brought it down across her knee. It broke with a loud crack, and she threw the pieces aside. I am a direwolf, and done with wooden teeth.
Once again, we have a voice - it seemed as if it was her father's voice - telling a Starkling to do something specific, reminding that Starkling of their ties to Winterfell, the north, and home. The voice she hears, speaking her true name, is the kick in the pants Arya needs to grab Gendry and Hot Pie and get out of Harrenhal. There's something interesting, engaging, heartbreaking, that when Arya is at one of her lowest points, lamenting the loss of her pack, and out comes the voice of one of her pack urging her to keep faith, and helping to inspire one of her best moments - I am a direwolf, and done with wooden teeth. Again, we have a voice trying to get the Starklings to wake up and face their reality!
Sansa in A Storm of Swords
That night Sansa scarcely slept at all, but tossed and turned just as she had aboard the Merling King. She dreamt of Joffrey dying, but as he clawed at his throat and the blood ran down across his fingers she saw with horror that it was her brother Robb. And she dreamed of her wedding night too, of Tyrion's eyes devouring her as she undressed. Only then he was bigger than Tyrion had any right to be, and when he climbed into the bed his face was scarred only on one side. "I'll have a song from you," he rasped, and Sansa woke and found the old blind dog beside her once again. "I wish that you were Lady," she said.
To be clear I think there’s a large change this is nothing. BUT. Considering Bran seems to be reaching out to his siblings, I like the idea that Bran, and magic in general, is trying to talk to Sansa but she can’t quite hear it. Winterfell and it’s magic and it’s family is calling it’s daughter home, even torn from her magical guide as she is, still trying to reach out through her dreams and through the animals around her. I’m desperately hoping that at some point in Sansa’s early TWOW chapters, we’ll start to see birds acting and speaking funny around her as Bran tries harder to reach his lost sister.
Theon Greyjoy in A Dance With Dragons
BUT. I don't think it's just the Starklings that get these messages from Bran - it's everyone he cares about, everyone he loves or will love. One of the other more obvious examples of this is Theon Greyjoy, himself clearly capable of some degree of magic, just like the Starklings-
The night was windless, the snow drifting straight down out of a cold black sky, yet the leaves of the heart tree were rustling his name. “Theon,” they seemed to whisper, “Theon.” The old gods, he thought. They know me. They know my name. I was Theon of House Greyjoy. I was a ward of Eddard Stark, a friend and brother to his children. “Please.” He fell to his knees. “A sword, that’s all I ask. Let me die as Theon, not as Reek.” Tears trickled down his cheeks, impossibly warm. “I was ironborn. A son … a son of Pyke, of the islands.” A leaf drifted down from above, brushed his brow, and landed in the pool. It floated on the water, red, five-fingered, like a bloody hand. “… Bran,” the tree murmured. They know. The gods know. They saw what I did. And for one strange moment it seemed as if it were Bran’s face carved into the pale trunk of the weirwood, staring down at him with eyes red and wise and sad. Bran’s ghost, he thought, but that was madness. Why should Bran want to haunt him? He had been fond of the boy, had never done him any harm. It was not Bran we killed. It was not Rickon. They were only miller’s sons, from the mill by the Acorn Water.
“he had been fond of the boy” please allow me this moment to contemplate killing myself thanks.
okay back on track but this is very self explanatory - we know Theon has some sort of capacity for magic because he had a vision of the Red Wedding in ACOK and unlike Jaime who just fell asleep on a weirweed tree, Theon was just up in bed. We see it again here, where Theon can hear a voice on the wind and then seems to see Bran’s own face in the face of the weirwood tree. Once again, the voice on the wind is trying to help a loved one of Bran’s find their way back to themselves, back to home. And Theon, for all the harm he has done, is still so so loved by Bran, and loves Bran in return.
Samwell Tarly III in A Storm of Swords
Sam made a whimpery sound. “It’s not fair …” “Fair.” The raven landed on his shoulder. “Fair, far, fear.” It flapped its wings, and screamed along with Gilly. The wights were almost on her. He heard the dark red leaves of the weirwood rustling, whispering to one another in a tongue he did not know. The starlight itself seemed to stir, and all around them the trees groaned and creaked. Sam Tarly turned the color of curdled milk, and his eyes went wide as plates. Ravens! They were in the weirwood, hundreds of them, thousands, perched on the bone-white branches, peering between the leaves. He saw their beaks open as they screamed, saw them spread their black wings. Shrieking, flapping, they descended on the wights in angry clouds. They swarmed round Chett’s face and pecked at his blue eyes, they covered the Sisterman like flies, they plucked gobbets from inside Hake’s shattered head. There were so many that when Sam looked up, he could not see the moon. “Go,” said the bird on his shoulder. “Go, go, go.”
Whoever this is - it's Bran!!!! - helps to save Sam and Gilly's lives, actively tells them to run for it, and just a little bit later, Sam is around to help save Bran in turn. I think there's also something to be said for the brotherhood connection here. They refer to each other as brothers in the book because of their connection to Jon; that connection to Jon, and therefore each other, means a lot to both Sam and Bran. There's a practical reason for saving Sam here in that he can help Bran in the "present" timeline, will likely help in the future, but more than that there's an emotional bond here and it seems to me that magic runs off emotions just as assuredly as it runs off of other important stuff like blood and and sacrifice and weirwoods.
Jon Snow XII in A Storm of Swords
With a raucous scream and a clap of wings, a huge raven burst out of the kettle. It flapped upward, seeking the rafters perhaps, or a window to make its escape, but there were no rafters in the vault, nor windows either. The raven was trapped. Cawing loudly, it circled the hall, once, twice, three times. And Jon heard Samwell Tarly shout, “I know that bird! That’s Lord Mormont’s raven!” The raven landed on the table nearest Jon. “Snow,” it cawed. It was an old bird, dirty and bedraggled. “Snow,” it said again, “Snow, snow, snow.” It walked to the end of the table, spread its wings again, and flew to Jon’s shoulder. Lord Janos Slynt sat down so heavily he made a thump, but Ser Alliser filled the vault with mocking laughter. “Ser Piggy thinks we’re all fools, brothers,” he said. “He’s taught the bird this little trick. They all say snow, go up to the rookery and hear for yourselves. Mormont’s bird had more words than that.” The raven cocked its head and looked at Jon. “Corn?” it said hopefully. When it got neither corn nor answer, it quorked and muttered, “Kettle? Kettle? Kettle?” The rest was arrowheads, a torrent of arrowheads, a flood of arrowheads, arrowheads enough to drown the last few stones and shells, and all the copper pennies too.
The Night's Watch seem to take this as some sort of divine sign, and Jon's friends take it as an excellent ploy from Samwell Tarly. But when Pyp confronts Sam over it a page later, Sam completely denies it -
“I had nothing to do with the bird,” Sam insisted. “When it flew out of the kettle I almost wet myself.”
Everyone has their theories about people warging Mormont's crow of course. I think what's interesting to me here is that Jon is really wrestling with the idea of leaving the Watch for Winterfell, in which case Janos Slynt was likely to take over command. Someone like Slynt being in charge when the Long Night is coming is a bad idea, and here, Mormont's bird directly contributes to Jon staying where he needs to be - watching over the wildlings and making sure they aren't turning into Wights.
(And this is getting into my other theories here, but IF Sansa as the Girl In Grey is true, I think this is a neat sort of timeline fixing - almost as if Bran is saying “no, not yet, the pieces aren’t aligned, Jon can’t leave yet, Brienne isn’t at the Vale to get Sansa, I haven’t trained enough, Jon still keeps slapping his hands over his third eye so he can’t see, I need to give myself more time here.”)
Bran II in A Game of Thrones
But...it's not just his family and friends that I think Bran is trying to help here, and of course, if he IS the Three-Eyed Crow, he isn’t YET. What I think is going to be a big climactic part of Bran's story is self sacrifice, giving up some of his own power, his own happiness, to save others. Yes, part of this is my absolute refusal to accept Borg Hivemind Fantasy Police State King Bran in that he will say NO to the hivemind, but I think there's something magical here as well!
I think in order to access great power you need to be willing to put your own body on the line.
Jojen mentions having gotten sick with "greywater fever" shortly before his greendreams started
Dany experiences a miscarriage then literally walks into fire in order to hatch her dragons
both Beric and Catelyn have to quite literally be gruesomely murdered in order for Thoros' fire magic to work to bring them back to life
Melisandre has to physically give birth in order for her shadow assassination to work
on and on it goes. In order to be capable of great power, you can’t just have a willingness to throw someone ELSE onto the pyre but yourself as well. But Bran is pushed out of the window instead of willingly jumping. Or...
The wolfling was smarter than any of the hounds in his father’s kennel and Bran would have sworn he understood every word that was said to him, but he showed very little interest in chasing sticks…Finally he got tired of the stick game and decided to go climbing….
The wolf did as he was told. Bran scratched him behind the ears, then turned away, jumped, grabbed a low branch, and pulled himself up. He was halfway up the tree, moving easily from limb to limb, when the wolf got to his feet and began to howl.
Bran looked back down. His wolf fell silent, staring up at him through slitted yellow eyes. A strange chill went through him. He began to climb again. Once more the wolf howled. “Quiet,” he yelled. “Sit down. Stay. You’re worse than Mother.” The howling chased him all the way up the tree, until finally he jumped off onto the armory roof and out of sight.
I think this is future Bran, finally becoming the Three Eyed Crow, inside Summer. Summer shows no interest in the game and it’s only then that Bran decides to go climbing. Future Bran is sacrificing himself for the greater good - but can’t stop his mournful cry of the fate that awaits his own young self.
#valyrianscrolls#bran stark#getting on my soap box#starklings#twow speculation#ados speculation#magic in asoiaf#the winged wolf#rani attempts meta#lawyering for bran#i started writing this over a year ago alsdjflk#tbh i also did a write up bc the only 'bran is doing some light time travelling' meta i've found is in fact preston jacobs and people#that are building off of preston jacobs. and the thing is i fucking hate video format#give me a goddamn pdf or pure audio for the love of god. so i wanted a write up of this SOMEWHERE for my own reference#if nothing else!!!!!#anyways i know 'bran is a time traveler' sounds insane but 'bran can whisper through the trees even in the technical past' makes sense#i will be doing more bran posting i have had this blog over a year and i do not post about my son enough#i'm doing my fandom name thewingedwolf a disservice here#i’m basically just trying to write up all my various bran theories. i promise to post more than once a year for bran aksksjdjd#i gotta post this now or it’s gonna sit for another year so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes no there’s not
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Penciled Lines
(Cross-posted on ao3, if you prefer to read it there. Reblogs still appreciated!)
Missa wakes up, and he thinks he might be doomed. This doesn’t scare him nearly as much as it should.
Missa is awake early—by his own metric, anyway. His nocturnal nature causes “early” for him to mean “early night” and not “early morning.” Regardless, “early” means that Philza is not asleep yet, still going through his nightly rituals. “Early” means that Philza is sitting up in (his? their?) the bed, pillows propped up behind him, notebook in his lap, sketching away.
And when Missa wakes up to the soft scritch-scratch of a charcoal pencil on textured paper, his forehead just so happens to be brushing Philza’s hip.
Missa can hardly breathe.
Oh no.
He knows that if he gives any indication that he is awake, Philza will stop sketching, close his notebook, shift himself over until he is politely seated on his side of the bed, and greet Missa with a friendly smile. Philza has done it before, when Missa wakes up early. That’s how Missa knows he’ll do it again.
Thus, Missa can hardly breathe—his breaths have to be the slow in-out of sleep. He can’t so much as twitch, either. He has to keep quiet and play dead or else he’ll be found out. Seen. Caught living the lie.
“Husband,” Philza calls him. They’re not married. They share a bed. They’re hardly ever in it at the same time. They have a son and a daughter. Neither of them know Missa very well. Philza has had an extra set of armor and a skull on his backpack for months, waiting for Missa. Missa doesn’t even know Philza’s last name.
Philza is a good man and a good friend—and Missa doesn't deserve him. Still, he takes what he can get. Curls around it. Hoarding every innocent kindness Philza extends like a starving creature: the generosity of a backpack fully stocked with equipment; the trust Philza places in Missa to watch the kids when he’s asleep; and now, the courtesy of not moving his hip from Missa’s forehead to ensure his “sleeping” isn’t disturbed. Missa clutches all of these little offerings in his greedy claws and hugs them into his chest, even as the guilt eats away at him.
Because, regardless of the lack of mutual feeling, he loves Philza. He loves him so, so much, and that is why he is doomed. He can’t afford to lose what little he has. He can’t cross that line.
So Missa lies beside Philza, forehead pressed against Philza’s hip, pretending to sleep so he can imagine that they’re not just lying in bed together, but lying in bed, together; and later, when Missa truly wakes, he will sit on his side of the bed and look at Philza’s face soft with sleep and think about how lucky he is that he still has a side-of-the-bed to begin with.
Missa doesn’t mean to drift off. When it starts to happen, he’s hopelessly torn between shaking himself awake and thus giving himself away, or remaining how he is, silently fending off the inevitable. In the end, Missa clings to that scritch-scratch sound of Philza’s pencil on the paper for as long as he can before the fog at last pulls him under.
Eventually, he dreams. In fact, he dreams of the calloused fingers he dreams of every night, hands like his own, an artist of Death, cradling and shading the contours of his face—a softness dashing charcoal across his jaw, and over his cheekbones, and perhaps on his lips, too, if he’s lucky. Defining every edge of him.
~*~
A deep sigh. Phil stops sketching as Missa shifts in his sleep. He tilts his head up so that the tip of his nose is now just nearly brushing against Phil’s hip. The motion disturbs the wild splay of his dark hair, revealing more of his face: eyelashes, cheeks, warmth. Tender blush of something Stygian and otherworldly. New.
Phil’s lips tilt upwards. He turns to a fresh page, and he starts again.
#qsmp#pissa#qsmpshipping#qsmp missa#qsmp philza#i hesitate to put main character tags bc it's shipping content but i think we're all p much okay with that?? we chill??? we chill thumbsup#my fics#ficlet#anyway would you believe me if i told you this took me a week to write. hhourgh.#i'll prolly make small edits as time goes by if i dont scrap this version entirely.#i really like it rn but we'll see how i feel abt it in like a couple hours or a day. the sheer number of times ive rewritten this hhhhh.#this little character/relationship study is primarily for me to try to work them out in my head.#so if this doesnt quite hit the exact vibe you know why.#im still getting acquainted w missa's character but i gotta start somewhere ya know#i didnt actually get to explore missa's feelings of inferiority as much as i wanted to but thats bc i found trying to tackle that As Well-#-as everything else saddled the fic/setting w too many Things and made it cumbersome and muddied the story being told.#so another time perhaps.#anyway i adore them. beloveds.
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I love lingerie that is definitely missing some material
Treat me ~ Tip me
#And the tiny bows also please me#Enjoy some cake!#Sitting on it a lot today bc the dog ripped the power wire out of the computer while i was downloading things and now i gotta start AGAIN.#So frustrated with this whole thing its makin me nauseaous#But i think im getting somewhere with it now???? Maybe.#The OF queue is not thriving rn bc of all this but its progressing#I shall be making some content this weekend hopefully!!#Satans knitwear#Alt pinup#Pretty lingerie#Black lace lingerie#Strappy lingerie
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ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
#this is 100% a brush test i gave up on and also partially a vent piece but like who gaf#thank you igor by tyler the creator for fueling at minimum 4+ artworks atp lmao#stariomctrashio art#furry art#dog fursona#experiencing mild agony bc i hate how this looks but like everyones gotta start somewhere..... i guess........ </3
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booked a hotel and got the concert ticket aghhhh
#i talk#still gotta get the train ticket too but mannn i get way too worked up over this stuff#been procrastinating it for like a month now like i Want to go but there are so many unknown variables and that shit is scary#first time going to a concert in another country alone and i spent a lil more than i wouldve wanted but hopefully its gonna be worth it#and like im most likely completely overthinking this (as i do most things) and everythings gonna be completely fine#but ahh so many what if's so much uncertainty#but im also excited its like a tiny step outside of my comfort zone and you gotta start somewhere bc id love to travel alone more#(mostly bc i wanna travel but dont have anyone to go with but thats a whole other thing)#and ive been rly into this band for a few years now and i really want this chance to see them live bc theres prob not gonna be another one#(watch them come to my city next year lmaoo)#god im not made for this but do it scared!! do it alone!! i want to experience more things in life!!#ive literally talked to my therapist about this extensively and to several coworkers and everyones like do it! its a great first step!#went through every thing that could go wrong (but very likely will not) and alternatives for every situation
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I think I'm gonna try learning how to drive again, but I'm very anxious about it
#my dad is an excellent driver but he hates driving bc he thinks everyone else on the road is an idiot asshole#my mom is a very anxious driver and didnt learn until she was in her thirties#i want to try to get my license before i turn 30#bc not having a license has been severely limiting my life#i had my learners permit three years ago and i was like. im gonna learn. but then i drove on the actual road before i felt ready#and never drove again after that lol#and idk i work a $14/hr job bc i dont have any other opportunities within walking distance of my home#and if i want to go down a different career path ill need to drive - both to expand job opportunities and as part of the job requirements#and. ugh i wish i lived somewhere with public transportation so i wouldnt have to drive#but i dont and i think im stuck here for the foreseeable future. so i just gotta start learning again and this time stick with it
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I genuinely wonder about Ariane and the Itous friendship they’re such a delightful little trio of outcast weirdo kids to me
#I say this as someone who was the outcast weirdo kid 💪#anyway to me their first interaction is Isa and Erika seeing Ariane’s yuriful sketchbook#and then being like oh yeah. we like this freak (affectionate)#history from there#but yeah!!! the three of them are the only ones that stick out like sore thumbs#they gotta stick together!!!#In my heart of hearts Ariane isn’t nice especially during her school years but there is an exception for the Itous#Ari’s also more isolated compared to the Itous. I think Isa is quieter but both of the twins still are more outgoing than their friend#with Erika of course being the boldest of the three#that being said I think Ariane got away with a lot of shit bc she was sneakier#u just know that girl had the good vinetan weed hidden somewhere#anyway just thinkin about the three of em!!#I do wonder why Erika’s face is erased throughout the game#my personal take on it is she was the twin that was closer to Ariane (either platonically or perhaps there was a mutual crush or more)#and she either did something/something happened to her#and it’s caused Ariane enough grief that she wants to forget it all hence blotting her out?#just pondering#signalis how have u gotten me to start actually yapping my thoughts out here what is this lmao <3#lynx talks
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i don't think i was made to have anything i create be discoverable, or else i wouldn't hate self promotion so much. tell me why i don't even wanna reblog my shit to pillowfort communities where it is generally well-received bc i don't wanna be intrusive
#enough people like my stuff that i should be over this but i'm not#also tell me why i write 5k wc chapters of pornography only to not share it anywhere i gotta start posting this somewhere#bc without an audience or at least presumption of an audience it feels a little insane lol
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Thinkin about merperson shark max and marine biologist daniel
#cold water shark merperson max in the north sea swimming along the Dutch shoreline#marine biologist Daniel on summer holiday with uhhh Oscar and Logan to Amsterdam#but daniel drags them to the coast to nerd out abt the different sea life there#and sees a cool shark dude jumping out of the water and biting a seal and dragging it down and gets obsessed#the next day daniel brings a tub of raw meat or something to the beach and waits for the shark dude max to return#max and some other merpeople in the area (more of the drivers)(the french & english & germans & Kevin) surfacing to start a hunt#and max instantly swims towards the People Who Hurt Us Place bc he smells fresh meat#while like Esteban and Pierre try to hold him back#daniel throws the meat wad out to the water as he sees the shark dude approach#but max jumps up and catches it midair and lands on top of daniel while monching the shit out of it#Daniel’s excited but stays calm even when Max starts biting his legs bc he knows sharks use their mouth to explore new things#freaking out the other people on the beach and Oscar and Logan who think he’s a maniac#underwater communication is through body language (& sonar but that’s for other fancier merpeople) so Max can’t quite talk to daniel#but there’s a few translation guides on merpeople body language of all areas on earth#so daniel can bare his teeth and scrunch his face up and move his arms in a way that max understands#so now Max becomes obsessed with him because there’s a human from the People Who Hurt Us place who can actually talk to him#and daniel cancels the rest of his summer break plans to learn everything he can about his shark dude#including what happens during mating season#lol#but my mind is going off and I gotta dump it somewhere#maxiel#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#mv1#dr3#em fic posting#I shoulda put this in the post itself and not tags
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Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them
sometimes i watch that video just to feel something
#you are so valid for that anon#theres something about the energy of that video that really gets to me#theyre filming cause its promo and its good clickbait and its silly and fun and Them#but its also For Them yknow?? theyre like we're gonna talk about how we're gonna be apart for the longest time since we've known each other#AFTER 13 years of knowing each other#just even framing it like that really is wild. but its exactly what happens. and they're both on the same page of yeah its a long time.#which. it isnt That Long but it IS for them yknow!#the silly intro phil does in front of Dan's closet. and it starts with dan going oi if you're crying about me it better be a long video!#its goofy and ridiculous. theyre in this bouncy happy uncertain mood. because theres gotta be some adrenaline with it but also appreciating#each other while theyre still there together. then its the complete lack of intro to dan bc come on now its dan you know him. obviously.#& then its the 'sphere' convo and im like bitch. he wants to touch you cause youre leaving!!! let him!!#then dans genuine shock at the swear like mans is down BAD. and then the teasing! the so real plant teasing. but also general life concern#the heart cactus makes me feel some type of way okay#the sheer domesticity of the stair convo and the ps4 struggle#and how phil turns it right back on dan with the selfie incident and dan is bashful about it.#and how phil just. gets to say that dan cant shower in the bus. bc it freaks him out. & ofc dan wont stress him like that.#(also the closet rifling. something dan's 'nice to know you do. in a dark drawer somewhere' vs the lacey shirt being lacey underwear idea)#the bathroom being very clearly a shared space.#goddd theyre sooo smiley and soft and i Cant#dnp#c.text#dan and phil
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mila's "recall" usually consists of her owners saying "treats!" repeatedly and hoping for the best. last summer i taught her a touch cue, its not perfect or very refined, but what matters to me is the enthusiasm she has for it. all that to say she smelled smth on our walk today and ran off, but then ran straight back to my partner and i after that single word (and was of course rewarded for it) and im very proud of her.
#mine#and i guess yay me for not fucking that up despite it being my first time actually teaching a new trick#please dont laugh at that lol i gotta start somewhere#havent really taught her anything else since that bc its hard to teach things to a dog you see only for a couple days once every 2-3 months#but i think ill try platform stuff next. paws on and off at least to see how well she catches on to that
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hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™
but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.
#if u want the tea my imagination at the time was like i could space out and straight up just be another person POV doing every little#thing as if i were them for hours and the experience would come together without having to even think about it.#different times/places/contexts/conversations etc. forced 2 to to my mom's lil cult meetings for 2 hours twice a week#i would opt to do these imagination exercises instead to rly put myself in a character's perspective. every step‚ stumble‚#riding in a carriage together for the entirety from point A to B etc. WELL i was working on a horror anthology somewhere 18/19#(that had a small local following 🫶🏾) and it its concept was like the Twilight zone but a lot darker. it was called interdimensional#and the main recurring character never actually shows up in the story. they r an omnipresent god of death who exists everywhere but#exists outside of our realm‚ and it picks random people to reveal itself to as a symbol. it can be apparent or just in passing that#the entry's MC sees it in‚ it will appear on something somewhere and once it's brought up it's a cue to the reader that this person#has just been sent to an alternate reality that leads towards their inevitable death. for the character nothing ever changes immediately#but the different starts to creep its way in‚ as does death's approach at its crescendo but the path's i took to get there were 😨#and after enough entries i started to see the symbol irl and hallucinate some other stuff from my stories and it really scared me#and made me stop 🫡 but i think in retrospect i just went too hard on the imagination exercises and wished i tried cultivating it instead#give myself time to settle and get in control.. but alas‚ she has not written seriously since. to this day it still flows out of me if#i just sit down to do it‚ but i don't think I'm at risk of something like that happening again anymore :3 so yeah ♡ i am learning how to#draw and trying not 2 force it bc i want it to b fun as a little journey for me and i look forward to the day i can come back to actively#writing again too 🫶🏾 i miss it but i also want to b able to draw ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა#learn the hard thing first then do the stuff that comes naturally.... i also want to get back into music sometime but clearly i got a lot of#other stuff to work on 💀 i burnt myself out on it learning too many things and not having enough fun with it anymore‚#but i have a better healthier with art these days and i know it'll be great to come back to when I'm ready 😌💕#i have been considering getting an acoustic or bass guitar tho 🧐 the beauty of physical instruments.. they're just there ready 2 go..#I've been doing mostly digital the past few years‚ when i was making music. it was also rly hard to when i was w my ex ૮ – ﻌ–ა#that's a whole other rant lol. but ugh digital is like u gotta set it up u gotta make space and then u gotta be in one spot the whole time#i just wanna lay in bed and vibe or something yfm.. walk around maybe idk. do something less structured.#maybe.. hm. hmmm 🧐#I'm going to guitar center lol c ya ✌🏾 getting a bass and amp and maybe a guitar too depending on the price
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ok. will scrap whatever i’ve written for “premonition of love” and start anew 🙂↕️
#it’s NAWT hitting#once again i go from fic to fic like a bunny hopping from carrot to carrot#BUT FOR REAL……… hmmmmm maybe i just need to pivot completely#i can’t think of a good intro for the LIFE of me#like . UGHFHFBHFHFHFJFJFJ#and i love these two characters Specfically so much so i wanna do my devoted losers in love justice ��#hmmmmmm . will create a new giggle doc#*GOOGLE DOC THIS IS THE SECOND TIME TODAY IT AUTOCORRECTED TO GIGGLE DOCS 😭😭😭#ANYWAYS . am sleeping and i probably won’t be on tomorrow but hopefully in the evening i can start writing for this#i’m both not making headway and also making some headway on cult geto but i wanna pivot and write smthn more fluffy :3#woohoo :> hopefully i can think of something 😪#maybe i’ll just stream of conscious write even if it’s somewhere in the middle of the fic and see where it goes#not writing linearly is kinda dumb of me but fuck it . We Ball#also by scrap i don’t mean delete the stuff bc i have learned NOT to do that 😭#anyways i need to finish at least one fic omg gotta christen my blog w a google doc fic EVENTUALLY#personal
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CROZ AND BUBBLES PRAISE KINK. GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS.
THESE SWEET BOYS.
bubbles adores crosby so much, this is something that would form so naturally between the two of them, would probably start out platonically even. he sees how hard crosby is on himself and takes on the mission of encouraging him and telling him what a great job he's done. and of course crosby does the same for him, but bubbles just loves the warm feeling he gets when he visibly sees crosby relax after he compliments him, the bashful smile he gets in return, so he can't help but take every opportunity he gets to praise him.
and then, as things progress into less–than–platonic territory, bubbles can't help but wonder if crosby's need for praise translates in the bedroom as well. he's on his back, legs tangled with crosby's, and crosby's jerking them both off in his hand. bubbles has his fingers tangled in the back of crosby's hair to hold him down as they messily make out, panting into each other's mouths, rocking against each other.
crosby's hand tightens on an upstroke, and bubble whines against his lips, slips in a "fuck, that's good", feels crosby's hips jerk against his in response and has an oh moment when he realizes it does in fact get to the man in that way, too. plows on, "you're so good, cros, make me feel so good" in a breathy voice, and crosby spills over his fist and onto bubbles' stomach without warning, choking out a moan, confirming bubbles' theory and making his mind spin with all of the different ways he can take advantage of this. <3
#first crubbles ask let's absolutely go#peep my pinned i've added some pairings i'll write for <3#been hesitant to write about anyone outside of my main three#just bc i'm not confident on my characterization yet but i gotta start somewhere so#crosby x bubbles#crubbles#johnslittlespoon brainrot#johnslittlespoon asks#johnslittlespoon spicy
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