#and then I had coffee
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when will these horrors (tummy upset) cease
#actually it started with heartburn#bc I layed down#even tho it's been like 5 hours since I ate and laying down should not have triggered the acid reflux#so I took some tums#but sometimes when I take tums the tummy ache gets worse for a short bit and then alleviates#.. i probably didn't drink enough water with em..#I'm just trying to figure out what triggered it#I had pasta with a mushroom sauce and broccoli#I also had some vegetable & bean soup#and then I had coffee#oh you know what. could've been the margarita I had with lunch I did think it was a little too sweet for my liking#overly sweet/sickly sweet alcoholic beverages always upset my stomach#and make me feel like shit#now kids. this is why I need to just buy the ingredients and make a margarita at home so it's to my liking and won't make me sick!#and it works out to be cheaper!#I also dont drink That Much maybe a drink a week if that#so whatever ingredients I buy will last me forever actually#I just. need to figure out what tequila & organe liquor combo I prefer#might try that one I see That Old Man wear the shirt for. casamigos?#like okay old man I'll cave and try the only product youve ever shilled for#bc I gotta start somewhere#it's also been recommended to me by other people too so.. it's not just bc The Old Man shills it. that's only a slight factor#where was I going with this. if ur still reading this far im giving you a kiss on the forehead
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Leyendecker study but it's Lucanis ✨
The original piece is too perfect for our favourite sleep deprived crow, how could I not Available as a print here!
#datv#lucanis dellamorte#jc leyendecker#veilguard#dragon age#lucanis#dragon age the veilguard#leyendecker#coffee#i've had way too much fun drawing this for half a month dfjhgfd#usually if i draw sth for weeks i run out of spoons but this one kept me excited all the way hahah
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obligatory [café AU] bc I made a KO-FI! If you'd like to support me, you can click the link here ☕
#my art#radioapple#duckiedeer#hazbin hotel fanart#my comic#i had some ppl ask if i had one so i finally made a ko-fi#i had this coffee comic idea since JUNE#i missed drawing comics!!
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can’t sleep, carving instead
#reserved#a copy of a mug I made a few months ago#pottery#ceramics#sgraffito#the horrors#rabbits#bunnies#rabbit skull#death#morbid#I’m so tired#tmi but this is the first time I’ve had a period in like five years and it turns out I took that for granted lol#clay art#ceramic mugs#coffee mugs
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Ruined!
Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader
Summary: Joel is an old man who struggles to cum sometimes. You’ve got time to kill and a tight hole to fill.
Warnings: 18+. Peepaw brainrot + a dash of anorgasmia. Unprotected p-in-v, cockwarming, age gap, daddy kink.
Note: Finals are whooping my ass left & right. This is a quickie.
Word count: 1.2k | Part of the Waiting Game ‘verse
Surely he was hurting you now.
Joel Miller had a kink for many, many fun activities, but splitting a sweet young thing like you over his cock to the point you were almost in tears was just not one of them.
At the same time your poor, surely-bruised walls pulsed around his hardened length, he felt a pang of guilt. His balls were pressed against your ass like two lead weights, soaked with the remains of your third release, and his mind was at war with itself—keep fucking you like this? Pull out and offer his sincerest apologies for not being able to cum? A boy your age would’ve never had you waiting around like that, aching around his cock, much less begging for something as simple as a cumshot.
He decided to go straight to the source. Leaning over your prone body on the bed before him, he was careful not to rut his hips or jostle his dick around too much.
Joel pressed a hot, stubbled kiss to your cheek, then:
“‘S’it too much, baby? She need a break, maybe?”
Joel thumbed at that space where your body ended and his began and nearly lost his mind to the pearly-white slick that had accumulated with time. Two hours time, he had to remind himself while you moaned and writhed and bucked your ass back. Your cunt was choking him.
Crying, too.
Your eyes flew open the moment his words reached you.
“You kiddin’ me, Miller?! I could do this shit all day.”
Sometimes Joel forgot you were only in your twenties. Really, the thought only occasionally crossed his mind in moments like these—or when your father, his best friend, happened to bring you up—but when it did, it hit him hard. You were young. Lively. Surely far too spry and full of life to be messing around with a man as old as him.
Joel’s guilt ran almost commensurate with his pleasure when he felt you anchor your feet on the bed and start to fuck yourself back and forth over his still-throbbing dick.
Almost.
He planted a hand beside your head and grinned. He let you fuck him. Felt you pull off, crawl up the bed a little, then beckon him back to your body, where your ass was now pointing up and your back was arched in invitation.
Almost.
“You know I can’t sleep without your cum inside me.”
And you made a point to spread your knees and look behind you with a smile as sweet as Milo’s tea, fingers drumming a beat against the bedspread in anticipation.
“You do wanna fill me up, don’t you, daddy?” you teased.
Yeah, no. The guilt was gone. Joel could worry about being a depraved old man when he was done cumming.
Then he was back inside you, driving his hips until every last inch of him was wrapped snug within your wet and velvety embrace, and he sighed. A real protracted one, like the kind he was liable to exhale after climbing two flights of stairs, or else just hoisting himself off the sofa. Or lifting you in his arms and fucking you hard against the hood of his Bronco. Any time. Any place. You were kind enough to oblige him with the best cardio of his life, so the least Joel could do now was make you cum again.
He snatched your hands up in one of his own and placed your wrists at the base of your spine. With his other, free set of fingers he took to rubbing your clit gently.
“SON OF A—”
“—good girl.”
You let out a bloodcurdling scream into your pillow and secretly hoped this man’s dick would never deflate again. Not with the way he was sawing his thing back and forth and dragging you to the edge, circling your clit like you were the single most precious thing in the world to him.
“Oh, sweet pea, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
Like he could feel the tears staining the cushion himself.
“Mmrooonme,” you cried into it, voice garbled by cotton.
“What’s’at, honey? Can’t hear ya.”
Joel then bent at the waist, pretending to be leaning in to hear you better, when really he knew he’d be digging in your guts with that big, bulbous head of his and making you squeal again. Hands still held captive behind you, you inched your chin back on the pillow so your moans could be heard even louder while Joel sped up.
“You— ruined me,” you repeated. Now clear as ever.
Joel tried to hide his smile and glanced down between your body and his. Then, while his ring finger joined the other two to make their tight, light circles, he returned,
“Ruined? Pussy feels just fine t’me.”
You’d kill him if he wasn’t so good at this. You turned your head more to meet his eyes from the corner of yours.
“No. Ruined me. For anyone else.”
Probably forever.
“Good.”
You knew he liked it that way.
You saw it in his eyes. Felt it in his touch. The hefty, broad, and greying Joel Miller had been loafing around on this earth long enough to know how to claim what was his. When his hips knocked yours to lay you flat on the bed, you already knew what was coming next.
First, his arms came to rest on either side of your body.
“Shit,” you whimpered.
Next, his lips went trailing down to your ear.
“Just a little more, sugar—that’s it,” he murmured while his hips sank in, and you felt that big, delicious stretch.
Then he released your hands so they were free to squeeze the sheets, and when they did, his moved over them—lacing his fingers through your own—and his lips pressed a kiss to your jaw. He held you in a tender grasp. His breath was hot on your neck, and the whole of his body was blanketing yours. Joel knew you liked it like that, which is why he made sure not to leave an inch of space in between. He was grunting, rutting, holding you close while his cock drilled a maddening pace inside you.
“You ruined me too, y’know,��� he mumbled into your skin.
His nose was flush with the side of your cheek, nudging inward. Begging you to turn your head just a little more so he could kiss you. Weak as you were, you obliged.
And you moaned against that grey, stubbled chin of his when the thrusts above you had your cunt grinding the bed, rubbing that soft and helpless nub on the sheets.
“C’mon— let daddy have it,” he growled, “Let daddy have it and make it his, huh? That okay by you, baby?”
It was.
More than okay, as confirmed by the orgasm that tore through your body moments later while your teeth sank into the flesh of Joel’s lower lip and your cunt clenched and soaked over him whole. Joel wedged his tongue in your mouth and fucked you through it. His broad and callused hands were like iron around your own, holding you tight and keeping you still amidst a maelstrom of pleasure that combed over your every last nerve.
He licked into your mouth. Licked over it. Took the sick and distinct pleasure of knowing no one but him got to see you like this, with your jaw hanging slack and your eyes rolling back and your whines repeating quietly, ‘Daddydaddypleasedaddyfuckohfuckdontstop.’
Maybe ruined wasn’t such a bad thing to be at all.
#NOBODY SPEAK TO ME UNTIL I’VE HAD MY MORNING COFFEE#AND BY MORNING COFFEE I MEAN THIS MAN’S LOAD IN MY MOUTH#PREFERABLY FOLLOWED BY AN OLD FASHIONED#joel miller smut#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller imagine#joel miller one shot#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us#tlou#the last of us fic#joel miller x you
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Who is this sassy lost child?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan#A-Yuan knows how to to utilise his big wet eyes to get treats. What a little legend.#The crowd comments about LWJ being 'daddy' and WWX being 'the mother' are a little too 'fan-service bait' for me.#So I am personally reimagining it as another layer of 'misinterpretation of a more complex situation' commentary.#I like how the different styles of interacting with children WWX an LWJ exhibit say so much about their own childhoods.#We - human beings in the real world - take two lessons from how we were parented: What we valued and what we wish we had.#LWJ leaning into indulgence is him pushing back against his own childhood of asceticism. It's something he didn't have - so he gives it.#WWX on the other hand has been *so* defined by his drive to indulge. And here he is the restrictor!#It takes a bit more to see what's going on here. The factors are not singular.#but to keep it in theme with LWJ; I'd propose it is partly his way of establishing structure when he did not have it as a child.#Both approches are a way of saying 'I didn't have this and I wish I did.'#With LWJ it's pretty obvious why...but WWX? What is at your core? What is your regret towards a lack of restriction?#Or...What benefit do you think it gives this child to learn the harsh lessons of going without?#Did it make you strong when you were a child? Do you think it is just the nature of the world and we all must learn it?#How we interact with children is such a fascinating topic to delve into our psychology and neuroses.#In a more light hearted turn of topic:#WWX confirmed to be 'person taking the car to the drive through to order one black coffee for himself' on the triangle spectrum.#LWJ is saying 'we have food at home' as he is opening his wallet ready to order for everyone.#(Technically this is comic 213 but yippee! We are in the 200's now! Thank you all so much for reading and cheering me on!)
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2023 is the year for asking the burning questions like "What if David Tennant came back to play a queer, nonbinary, nearly-immortal, otherworldly being that loves Earth and whose greatest adversary list somehow includes a cup of coffee?"
#David Tennant#good omens#doctor who#doctor who 60th anniversary#14th doctor#okv#Twice in one year.#“bouncy” for both too.#“possible flight risk to the stars”#“time is sometimes a choice actually”#I had a really good time with the special. :)#Edit: I don't believe in the coffee theory. But I'm happy for people to have fun with their different theories.#All I meant was a (regular) coffee was included with the Metatron.
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#this might b silly i guess but i legitimately want to know how common kettles actually are here#we've had the same kettle my entire life so ig I don't have a frame of reference for how other people boil water#can't edit polls but i would've included electric kettles if i knew those were a thing#also insane to me that it seems a lot of people microwave water... microwave-made coffee tastes to bad to me
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*Taash and their mother arguing about their gender identity in the kitchen with Rook uncomfortably stuck in the middle of it*
Meanwhile Lucanis in the pantry:
#awkwardly biding his time before he can walk out for coffee#he and Taash both had quest triggers when Shathann showed up so I just know he was aware of what was happening#Spite was probably pressed up against the door while Lucanis zoned out staring at a wall#dragon age the veilguard#datv#veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#taash#da#a.txt
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They're bonding :3c
Meme reference under cut
Draw the squad poses
Pose 1
Pose 2
#dreamer doodles#dc#batfam#batfamily#batman#bruce wayne#tim drake#apparently i'm addicted to drawing brand coffee#i know it's popular fanon that tim is addicted to caffeine#but i like to think bruce has the bigger problem#aka Mr. “I'm Married to the Mission” Wayne#this was supposed to be done 2 months ago#ah welp#i had a lot of fun with this one
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i think he would love these tbh
#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#da4#I HAD TO REFRAME THIS IN MY MIND AJDHGDSG#buzzfeed millennial coffee lover? meh#PICMIX GLITTERY COFFEE GIF LOVER?? YEAH!!!
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i would like to discuss the coffee situation in the lighthouse.
this is the apparent coffee station in the kitchen. little coffee maker, a couple of unlabeled bottles of additives (i assume), and a bunch of cups including these cute little decorated ones that scream ren faire souvenir
oh and also: two giant open baskets of coffee beans underneath the table. (and a sack of Unidentifiable Brown, but let's ignore that for now because i couldn't get any good pictures of it. it's not the same texture, anyway, so i can't confidently say it is More Coffee.)
that's a lot of coffee beans. that is A Lot Of Coffee Beans for eight people, even if they make 3-4 pots a day. at least one of those pots is for lucanis insomnia purposes, a few cups are for neve to boil into a cognitohazard, and the rest of the team might have a cup or two in the morning, but i don't know enough of their coffee habits to say for certain. 3-4 pots is a generous estimate. so what do they have over 20 pounds of coffee beans for? are they using all of those before they go stale in an open basket? lucanis is a coffee snob, i refuse to believe he's buying all of that if he doesn't think they'll use it while it's still fresh.
But okay. benefit of the doubt here. maybe they've got some stay-fresh ziploc magic on it, and that's a month's supply for a greater amount of coffee per day than my estimates.
but wait. in the pantry. what's that?
oh my god it's an even bigger basket of coffee beans. what are you doing with 50 pounds of coffee beans. you are NOT using all that, this is more coffee than a party of 8 could even try to consume before it went stale in, again, an OPEN CONTAINER. i don't even want to consider whether those sacks next to it might have more, there's no way they could possibly have...
two more. giant baskets. of coffee beans.
there are more baskets of coffee beans in the lighthouse than vegetables. the lighthouse is constantly out of onions because the guy in charge of the shopping spends half the grocery budget on coffee beans. lucanis drinks 6 pots a day and his blood-to-caffeine ratio is 50-50. no wonder spite can smell colors.
#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#not tagging the others just bc i don't want to clog tags with stuff that barely relates to them.#i'm also extremely aware that this might just be an unfortunate oversight of the set dressing.#like they only had so many assets and baskets full of stuff look better than all those empty vases and nondescript sacks on the shelves#but the implications are hilarious#i saw that big basket next to lucanis first and went 'oh my god that's so much'.#then i saw the two baskets on the shelf and went 'oh my god that's so much'#and then i went out and looked at the coffee station again and. yeah.#there are twenty eight coffee cups on the coffee station. there are Eleven in the pantry. Twelve if lucanis is drinking More Coffee in ther#i'm not lying about the vegetables btw. there's one crate of corn and one crate of squash. and five baskets of coffee.
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When the misunderstanding is mutual but they’re both so sweet about it (coffee shop au edition)
Inspired by the tags below (originally on this post) from @blahblaheverythingisgay and @lovelyprincejehan accompanied by some thoughts:
thank you for bringing this GALAXY brain take to my attention 😂 this guy comes in, all cagey about his past and his scars, always wearing baggy clothes but complaining about compression clothes (being on the run does a number on your joints and muscles), picking out a name for himself??? OBVIOUSLY he’s trans right
They somehow manage to have like three separate conversations about it without realizing they’re talking about two very different scenarios. Andrew only was so wrong for so long because scars on their own (and even being a criminal lbr) are such non-issues that it didn’t even occur to him that Neil could be talking about anything less important than being trans lol
Andrew had his little crisis about it and landed pretty solid on yeah he’s still into Neil regardless, and yeah he’s still super gay. He’ll figure out the rest from there. The only thing he didn't prepare for was Neil being uh. Cis
#that’s still his Neil 🙏#and it makes me laugh so much for Andrew to be THROWN#when his not-bf in his not-relationship is actually cis#who could’ve seen it coming.#not Andrew#and to be fair probably also like half the foxes. they thought they had this guy figured out#we love a good shenanigan#and no foxes were even harmed in the making of this misunderstanding#everything works out!!#lowest stakes au I have yet#love that for us#fan art#my art#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#coffee shop au#digital
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more weird ass angles from your least favorite girl
#breaking news : gloomy woman blasted in the face with hot coffee this morning#and im so tired worn out and stressed i barely had a reaction loooool#my kid literally gasped and was like MOM but i was laughing at that point lol#yeah it hurt but everything hurts right ?#scroll past if you like#personal#idk why im posting this at 9a but maybe ill delete it#i love autumn but the lighting is unkind to me lol
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Thinking about this combo again
#nottsketches#mha#my hero academia#bnha#boku no hero academia#katsuki bakugo#mha bakugo#I had a coffee and I think it fixed me for today
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Buck doesn't know how long they sit there in that café just talking. He's never had that before. The last time he'd done this, sat across from Natalia in the midday sun, he'd been excruciatingly aware of every passing minute as he tried to be fascinating to her, spun yarns of deaths and near-deaths and deathly comas. Here, now, Buck just exists and that seems to be more than enough for Tommy.
Tommy who hangs on his every word like Buck is the next Shakespeare even as he's rambling about rainbow emojis and allyship. Tommy whose smile is so big and wide that it carves the most beautiful caverns into his face that Buck kind of wants to live in. Tommy who grimaces every time he sips the coffee Buck bought him but dutifully drinks the whole thing over the course of their date even when Buck tells him he doesn't have to. Tommy who keeps muffling yawns into his fist every five minutes having just gotten off a twenty-four hour shift like he'd stay in that uncomfortable metal seat forever if he could.
It's the best second date of his life, so when Buck tells him to go home and get some sleep, he doesn't resist the urge to prolong the date for the few moments it takes him to walk Tommy to his car. With anyone else, so soon into whatever this might turn out to be, Buck would worry that it's too much too soon. But Tommy has been so loud in his affection even with how gentle he's made sure to stay. Buck wants to be as free in his wanting as Tommy as is, so he reaches out and slips his fingers between Tommy's, damn near euphoric when they begin to swing between them as they walk.
It takes a moment to drag his eyes up to Tommy's face, caught up in the feeling of a hand in his. It's not the first time he's held a hand, far from it. Not even the first time he's held a man's hand. But this isn't Eddie letting him squeeze his fingers as he screams in pain. This isn't Taylor indulging him every now and then. This is Tommy smiling softly down at their hands like he's as mesmerised by it as Buck is, the tips of his ears growing pink and sending a giddy thrill of satisfaction through him.
"Can I ask you something?" Tommy says, giving Buck's hand a happy little squeeze.
"Don't think there's a limit on second date questions," Buck replies.
"Evan." And, Jesus, there's something about the way Tommy says his name. Even when it's that chiding little tone that should remind him of his parents, all he feels is an overwhelming warmth, all he can hear is fondness.
"Of course you can." Buck grins and watches Tommy's smile crinkle his face all over again like he just can't help it.
"Why'd you choose that abomination of a coffee for me?" And Buck groans just to hear Tommy laugh. "Really? What even was that?"
"Black coffee four sugars," Buck mumbles, kicking a stone across the sidewalk sheepishly.
"Jesus, Evan." Tommy's laugh is something special, loud and unrestrained and the sound of sunshine maybe. "Why?"
"I-I don't know, I panicked!" Buck doesn't realise he's drifting away from Tommy until the man pulls him back in by their joined hands, and Buck lets the bump of their shoulders calm him. "Just thought, you know..." Buck turns towards Tommy's car, but Tommy drags him gently towards the Jeep, leaning against the door when they reach it.
"You just thought..."
"I don't know." He shrugs, heat rising to his cheeks under the weight of Tommy's bright-eyed attention, lowers his voice all the way. "It reminded me of you."
"What was that?" Tommy grins, using the excuse to move in a little closer.
"It reminded me of you," Buck repeats, clearer this time, more confident. "You know, bit foreboding on the outside, but all sweet on the inside."
"Christ, you really are adorable," Tommy breathes, sounding as effected as Buck feels.
A kaleidoscope of butterflies swarms in his stomach, delightfully unfamiliar to him but already intoxicating, almost addicting.
It's not two men stood on a busy sidewalk in the middle of the day then. It's just Buck and someone he really fucking likes, someone he hasn't been able to stop thinking about for a week, someone he's only kissed once somehow. And suddenly that's a fact that absolutely should be rectified.
Buck steps forward, leaning up just ever so slightly on his toes, and kisses Tommy right there in the middle of LA. And it just feels right. Overwhelming in the best of ways. It's a quick press of lips, something more suited to the schoolboy he feels than the very adult man he is, not the kiss he wants but the kiss they both need. Chaste and lovely. A hello again. A beginning.
Tommy's free hand ghosts against his jaw, a flutter of a touch as Buck falls back onto his heels and takes a breath. It takes Tommy a few moments to open his eyes which means Buck gets to watch them flutter open, dazed and delighted.
"Get some sleep, Tommy," Buck tells him, finally letting go of his hand with a squeeze. "Text me when you wake up."
"Yessir," Tommy murmurs.
And Buck can't resist another kiss then, just as quick and chaste, anything else dangerous to Buck's self-restraint, before he unlocks the Jeep and climbs in. Tommy waves him off, and Buck glances back just in time to see Tommy's hand falling down to his lips as if to chase Buck's touch.
#sami rambles#i had lots of feelings about the coffee order#this is for elke <33333#the amount of inspiration ive got from our silly little dms....#911 show#evan buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy#buck x tommy#911 fic#911 ficlet#bucktommy fic#buck x tommy fic#bucktommy ficlet
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