#so I took some tums
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ghwosty · 3 months ago
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when will these horrors (tummy upset) cease
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watery-melon-baller · 7 months ago
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being nauseous and having a stomachache is terrible but it also comes with the joy of being able to lay on the cool bathroom tiles as you wait for god to take you
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tarantula-hawk-wasp · 1 year ago
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Poor choices moment <3 for lunch I’m eating the leftover garlic chicken that gave me indigestion last night bc even when I cooked it I knew it was a bad idea bc I don’t digest garlic well but consider: it tastes yummy
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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At work for another hour and a half and I want. To. EAT!!!!!!!!!!!
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moonlightcookie · 8 months ago
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have to go to work w an upset tummy. pray for me
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oh-look-car-horns · 8 months ago
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Wondering what boop count your 3 letter word corresponds to? I gotchu:
Using a python script I wrote, I booped myself 50,000 times, saving an image of my boop-o-meter every 500 boops. Before we get into the results, there are two important limitations to this study that I should mention:
Firstly, because I only recorded the boop-o-meter every 500 boops, if a message appeared for less than 500 boops it may not have been caught.
Secondly, every now and then my computer would lose a boop or two when a click wouldn't register. This is seen in the 500 and 1000 boop images below, which in reality read 498 and 994 respectively. Because of this, boop values are slightly lower than they appear.
With that out of the way, lets dig in.
0-999:
From boops 0-999, the boop-o-meter displays your boop count, and changes color as you boop
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Boop count: 0 Boop count: 500 Boop count: 1000
Boop fact: the colors do not change after 1000
LOL:
Between boops 1000 and 1500, the boop-o-meter changed to display 'LOL'. This likely took place at 1000 boops, but maybe it said 'MAX' or sumn for awhile at first? Idk this is already the misinformation website so not my problem.
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Boop count: 1500 (actually more like 1490 ish)
More results below the cut
OMG:
Between 1500 and 2000, the boop-o-meter changed to display 'OMG'. Again, this probably happened at 1500 but who knows. Maybe staff made it 1523 for the bit or something.
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Boop count: ~2000
WOW:
The boop-o-meter remained at omg until the 3500 boop readpoint, when it switched to 'WOW', meaning this transition happens somewhere between ~2980 and ~3480.
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Boop count: ~3500
Boop fact: 'WOW' is the second longest reigning message
*-*:
Between 5000 and 5500 the boop-o-meter switched to '*-*'. You get the idea at this point so I'll speed it up.
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Boop count: ~5500
WHY:
The boop-o-meter changed to 'WHY' between 6000 and 6500 boops. For science. That's why.
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Boop count: ~6500
PLZ:
Next was 'PLZ', switching between 7000 and 7500.
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Boop count: ~7500
AAA:
I'm not sure what bloody urine has to do with anything, but for some reason staff felt is was important to display, switching between 7500 and 8000.
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Boop count: ~8000
;_;:
Huh the colon makes that one look weird. 8000-8500.
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Boop count: ~8500
Boop fact: That fucking cat haunts me in my dreams
0_0:
I realized after I set my pyautogui script running that my computer wouldn't turn off its screen because of the clicking, so there was a strobing blue light in my room all night. This encapsulated my expression while trying to sleep (8500-9000).
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Boop count: ~9000
MAX:
After 9000 it displayed 'MAX'. This was cap. (9000-9500 switch).
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Boop count: OVER 9000 (9500)
<33:
I miss my wife. 9500-10,000.
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Boop count ~10,000
TUM BLR:
THE HOLY GRAIL. The boop-o-meter switched to displaying 'TUM BLR' between 10,000 and 10,500 boops. Because my actual boop count was slightly behind my theoretical, I'd guess that this change happened at 10,000 boops.
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Boop count: ~10,500 (likely switched at 10,000)
Summary:
When charted the boop curve looks as follows:
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Boop curve: 0 - 10,000 boops
My script continued to run until 53,000 boops, but no further changes were observed. Again, there were quite possibly more messages at lower boop values, but my ass is not checking. Maybe I should have scaled my sampling accordingly, but it is what it is. Thank you for joining me on this journey, and if you have any corrections or more information, please add it to this post.
Boop fact: Terfs DNI
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years ago
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drchucktingle · 6 months ago
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POUNDED BY DR. GLOBUS
wanted to post today about recent health journey of chuck. ALL STARTED at texas show when i began to feel tightness in throat. i have learned this is called GLOBUS which is a tingler character name if ive ever heard one. got through appearance and had blast but felt terrible
plane journey home was even worse. first thought i strained my voice, then tested for covid (negative) and then figured it was just some kind of virus. had running nose and hoarse and extreme pain behind face and MOST of all this golf ball throat
figured i would get better as viruses tend to go but I DID NOT. after a few weeks went to way of urgent care and they took one look and said you have EXTREME FORM OF ACID REFLUX called laryngopharyngeal reflux (also great tingler character name)
basically this is when your stomach acid comes all the way back up into your throat and erodes it. they immediately put me on medications name of pepcid plus tums plus gaviscon and on and on. was inhaling a dang pharmacy every morning
problem is, NO CHANGE. in fact it started getting worse. in addition to previous symptoms i now couldnt keep any food down. upset stomach all the time. could barely sleep. plus it is scary to have a sickness that gets WORSE over time like this
more doctor talks. i up doses of medication to combat sickness but does not seem to work. one night wake up and think 'dang i need to go to er my stomach is going to just melt or something' (keep in mind because i cant keep food down i am always hungry too).
i go to hospital and they say 'WHOA we need to intervene right now we are doing some tests and putting you on SERIOUS LIFE CHANGING MEDICINE. but here is catch to do the tests we need you to stop all your medication for 48 hours and it will be HECK but you gotta do it bud'
so i stop all medication in preparation for new SICK LIFE and suddenly… i start feeling better. not just a little but after weeks of this awful way i wake up in ONE DAY and feel fully cured. now heres twist: at the same time this was happening I started taking allergy medicine
you may already know where i am going with so i will just hit you with it. my INITIAL SICKNESS was just extreme seasonal allergies that required nothing more than claritin and flonase. however i was misdiagnosed with ACID REFLUX and medication was making my stomach a wasteland
the second i stopped taking acid reflux meds and started on allergy trot i was better almost instantly. today i feel HECKIN GREAT. (SIDE NOTE: after 4 years of chronic pain i am so thankful to not have some OTHER long term health trot to deal with. DANG)
so what is lesson here? first of all please do not think this is in ANY WAY anti-doctor rant or anti-medicine. my doctors were trying their best and made a mistake, they are just people. ALSO while acid reflux medicine made me sick, allergy meds made me better. i am SO fortunate
but what is REALLY fortunate is that chuck is covered under SWEET BARBARAS HEALTH CARE (she gets very good coverage under the frozen lake). most artist buckaroos, even WILDLY successful ones, do not have health care which is huge issue that should be talked on more.
point is EVERYONE should have healthcare. this whole adventure was bad, but it also only cost me 50 dollars. hundreds of thousands of other buckaroos would have to deal with this PLUS it would completely upend their life to cover medical expenses because of a SIMPLE MISTAKE
so that is my story, usually there is more of a lesson to these rants but this one is really just ‘dang what a trip.’ so grateful for my health and my way and the fact i can get simple allergy medicine over the counter. most of all THANKFUL FOR MY BODY it is such a treat to exist
thank you for reading and remember to advocate for yourself and your feelings both BODY and MIND at the doctor. listen to your trot and do not forget that LOVING YOURSELF AND THE SYSTEMS OF YOUR BODY proves love just as much as loving others. trot on buckaroos
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hello!!! so — i must confess something. i have been thinking *very very verrrrry* much about taking mr. ln chaar to a desi wedding (like a cousin's wedding or something) and watching him get bombarded with rishtas when they find out he's british, the aunties and uncles not realising that he's actually *with* reader and not just some baraati/random tinku ke mausi ke bete ka dost.
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Big, Fat Indian Wedding ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
i love writing typical indian ffs, cause we really are a bunch of crazies
⤑ ln x desi!reader ༉‧₊˚.
⤑ fluff + humour ༉‧₊˚.
masterlist ☾☼
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"are you sure i look good?" lando had never worn a kurta before, but since y/n was attending someone's wedding, he had insisted on tagging along.
he turned to look at y/n, who stood beside the mirror, "babe, you look so good, i want to skip the wedding and spend the whole night here,"
lando giggled, turning red just slightly as he turned away from her, "y/n! stop!"
she laughed, throwing the dupatta at him.
lando held the dupatta in front of him, before putting it around his neck, and then looked at y/n for confirmation on whether it looked good or not. she nodded appreciatively.
y/n tucked her hand in lando's elbow, and the two exited the hotel room that the groom and bride had graciously offered them for the night, and walked to the venue.
lando, not being used to wearing a dhoti, fussed constantly about not accidentally stepping on it or getting it dirty. y/n could do nothing but watch her boyfriend take such good care and put in so much efforts to appreciate her culture.
when they stepped in, the two were immediately greeted with some of y/n's relatives at the gate.
"y/n! beta, how are you? we don't see you anymore!" an old man exclaimed.
y/n immediately untucked her hand and joined them together, "namaste, nanaji. i'm good, how have you been? your health?"
seeing the gesture that y/n had done, lando immediately copied, remembering when she had explained to him the basic courtesies of her culture.
"arre, beta, sab theek, sab theek," he continued talking, but lando, not understanding the language, walked ahead, getting lost in the bright flowery venue.
every surface had lights and flowers. there was a square stage in the middle of the area, which had it's own little roof made out of strings of flowers going from one side to the other. there were chairs facing the stage from all four directions. the bride and groom were standing, posing for pictures with a bunch of people, laughing and accepting gifts and envelopes.
lando's attention was focused on the stage, and without realising, he took a seat somewhere in the middle, eyes transfixed on the bride and groom. he watched as groups of people went up the stage, and the bride and the groom took turns explaining the relations, and then everyone turning to the camera for pictures.
he watched as the bride and groom smiled instantly when people arrived, and then softly spoke to each other when they found little moments in between. he watched as the groom wrapped an arm around his bride's waist and smiled so lovingly at her. lando wondered if this is what his marriage to y/n would look like. would she look as gorgeous as the bride? would he look as in love as the groom?
suddenly, a woman sat beside him. it wasn't y/n. definitely not. because this woman was almost double his age, and had a glint in her eye that he wasn't sure he liked.
"namaste, beta. kaha se ho tum?" the woman said, joining her hands in front of her like y/n had done before.
lando immediately copied, but continued to stare at her confusedly. "um, i don't really speak hindi. i'm so sorry,"
the woman's eyes lit up, "ohho! are you from america? where is that accent from?"
"i'm actually british. i'm not from america."
"british yani london?"
"yeah! yeah, london." lando said.
the woman immediately turned, calling out to her friends or relatives, lando didn't know, "arre, jaldi aao! london se munda hai! rishta nikaal lo!"
a group of ladies surrounded him now, and lando began to panic. he looked around for y/n, but failed to see her in the sea of people.
"you're from london, yes?" one of the women said.
"uh, yeah," lando began to stand, "actually, i'm looking for-"
the woman from before pulled at his arm, seating him again, "you were not looking for anyone. shut up and sit."
lando felt like a deer at the centre of a pride of lions. the women all stared at him, smiling and waiting, and he could not figure out just what they wanted from him.
suddenly, a woman shoved her phone in front of his face, her screen brightness so high, it made lando squint. "tell me, boy, do you like her?"
lando looked at the picture of her daughter, he assumed, "um, yeah, she's nice,"
"good, good. she's a doctor. she can move with you to london. doesn't have to work if you don't want her to,"
"what? no! why would she move to london with me? why would she leave her job?"
a different woman shoved her phone in his hand this time, "forget her. you look at her and tell me if you like her,"
"i'm sure all your daughters are really beautiful, but i'm here with-" lando tried to explain.
"tell me, what's your birthdate? kundli nikaal ke dekh lenge jiski jodi acchi banti hai,"
"13th november," lando responded, hoping that if he gave the women what they wanted, they would leave him alone.
"year?"
"1999,"
the women stared at their respective phones for a few minutes, and lando tried to use their distraction to escape. he was unsuccessful, as the previous woman who had tried to stop him before, stopped him again, this time keeping a firm grip on his arm.
"what do you do for a living?" the interrogation began again.
"uh, i'm a driver, a-"
the women all made disapproving sounds in unison, "matlab paisa kam hoga,"
"par, london mein gaadi chalayega toh paisa apne desh se toh zyaada hi hoga na,"
there were murmurs of agreement. lando looked for y/n again.
"how many properties you own?"
lando was confused by the line of questioning, but the firm hand on his arm stopped him from running away like he wanted to.
"one in monaco, and one in somerset, but that's my parents' place," he responded.
"yeh monaco kidhar aata?"
"arre, europe mein hi hoga kahi par. paisa hai iske paas, ladkiyaan khushi khushi reh sakti hai,"
"you have big family?" another question directed towards lando.
"i've got two sisters and a brother." he said.
"sasuraal mein rehna padega shaayad,"
"europe-sheurope mein sasuraal kuchh nahi hota hai. shaadi ke baad, sab alag alag rehne lagte hai,"
the women began discussing again. looking around for the millionth time, lando finally found his girlfriend.
y/n was standing a little far away, staring right at lando and his group of old women. she looked like she was trying not to laugh, as she conversed with another woman. lando sent her a pleading look, almost begging her to come save him.
y/n, seeing lando's look of fear, rolled her eyes, smiling, and began walking towards him. a hand cupped lando's cheeks, and pulled his attention back to the women surrounding him.
"how many kids you want? we want two, at least. we are okay for more also,"
lando blushed. why were strange women asking how many kids he wanted in his future? that was a conversation that he was only ever going to have with y/n, his girlfriend, the woman he was going to marry.
before he could respond, y/n's voice rang from behind him, "namaste, mamiji, chachiji, maasiji,"
the women lit up, talking over each other and greeting y/n. lando felt slightly calm now that his girlfriend was around, but he also knew that she was trouble. lando didn't know what to expect at this point.
"accha, y/n, batao, yeh ladke ko tum jaanti ho? london se hai," one of the women asked.
"haanji, jaanti hu na. mere saath aaya hai," she said.
"tumhare saath matlab?"
"arre, bhai hoga iska,"
"bhai-behen jaise lagte nahi hai, bhai kidhar se ho gaya?"
"duur ka rishtedaar ho sakta hai,"
"dost hoga varna,"
"dost ko kyu lekar aayegi voh,"
the women all spoke at once, arguing with each other. lando didn't know what he could do, and despite wanting to leave, the woman sitting beside him still had a firm grip on his arm.
"actually, humari sagaai hone vali hai. aaj bas puri family se milne aaya hai,"
whatever y/n had said, it had worked wonders, because the women immediately fell silent and stared at y/n. lando was just glad that the attention wasn't on him anymore.
"arranged hai ya love?"
"love marriage hai,"
"kitne saalo se jaante ho ek dusre ko?"
"6 years,"
"tumhare mummy papa ko pata hai?"
"haanji, unko sab pata hai,"
they all fell silent, looking at each other. it made lando think that maybe they were talking telepathically. it worried him. it scared him. more than crashing out on the track somehow.
"tumhare ladke ne bataya nahi. humari sabki ladkiyon ko dekh raha tha," one of them said, glaring at lando.
"itne saare nay log dekh kar darr gaya. aur aapne bolne bhi kaha diya usko?" y/n chuckled like she was making a joke, but no one else laughed. lando was so so confused.
slowly, the women stood up one by one, talking to y/n and bidding him goodbye. lando couldn't do much but just wave at them.
when the women were far far away from lando, he immediately got up and turned to his girlfriend, "who were they? why were they holding me captive? did i do something to offend them? why were they showing me pictures of their daughters?"
y/n laughed, grabbing his hands in hers and pulling him closer over the chair. she pecked his lips repeatedly, waiting for lando to calm down and kiss her properly. she knew people were watching, especially the old women who had just been sitting there, but she had told them that they were going to get married, so a little pda wouldn't matter that much.
his arms around her waist, lando pulled back, "baby, seriously,"
y/n laughed again, "those were relatives from all over. they thought that you were a single man, and they wanted to fix you up with one of their daughters for an arranged marriage,"
"what? why?"
"arranged marriages are very common in india, or southern asia in general. the arranged couple meet, talk a little, their horoscopes and stuff are matched, the parents talk about expectations from the in-laws, the dowry, all of that stuff," y/n explained.
"so, if you don't wanna get an arranged marriage, what do you do?"
"what we're doing. it's a love marriage. i fell in love with a man and i want to marry him, so i introduce him to my family, and the horoscopes, expectations, dowry all happens,"
lando was quiet for a second, his fingers tapping against her waist, his teeth biting his lip as he thought about something. "what if i don't want the dowry? like, i understand the horoscopes thing that its to see how compatible we are, right? but, is the dowry necessary?"
y/n kissed him again, "while it is the usual norm of the groom's family to take some kind of dowry, it's not necessary. it depends on the groom and his family,"
he wrapped his arms around her tighter, "okay, well, this groom and his family have decided to not take a dowry,"
y/n laughed, "i love you,"
lando smiled, "i love you too,"
the two turned to look at the bride and groom on stage. they watched as the groom kneeled on the floor and helped the bride with her shoes.
"is that going to be us one day?" lando softly asked.
"is that what you want? a big, fat indian wedding?" y/n countered.
"i want everything that's a part of you. if a big, fat indian wedding is a part of you, your dreams, i want it,"
"yeah, that's going to be us one day."
lando turned back towards the stage, a happiness spreading in his chest. he couldn't wait for his big, fat indian wedding.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
i hope you guys enjoyed this! i know a lot of people won't enjoy this, because a lot of the dialogues are in hindi, but i really hope all my desi girlies love this! i've also got a link for my taglist that you can find here!
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the-queen-of-hell-666 · 29 days ago
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Babymoon
Kinktober 2024 - Day 25
Pairing: Dad!Steve Rogers x Mom!Pregnant!Fem!Reader
Kink: Lactation
Word Count: 1100+
Summary: Tony pays for you and Steve to get away before you two have a new baby on your hands.
Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (unprotected vaginal sex, vaginal sex, creampie, riding, vaginal fingering, nipple play, lactation kink, milk drinking, soft sex, slow sex, slight pregnancy kink), soft!Steve, tooth-rotting fluff, established relationship
a/n: Here is Day 25! It's a soft one but I enjoyed it! I hope you all do too!
Banners by @vase-of-lilies
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Sam had taken the kids for the night, so you and Steve could go on a weekend long vacation before your baby girl arrives. You two were just going up to a cabin in upstate New York that Tony paid for because he knew that you two needed some time away. You two drove in comfortable silence through the hills of upstate, you only getting nauseated once or twice during some of the rougher roads. Steve had packed your bag with water, lollipops, some crackers, and a bottle of dramamine. You were grateful that he knew what you needed before you did and that he was in tuned with your needs. He had a hand on your swollen belly the entire ride, only taking it off to sip his drink from the cup holder. 
You two finally got to the cabin and he parked in the driveway before getting out, running over and opening the door for you. He helped you out of the car and took your bag from the passenger’s seat and led you towards the cabin, “You do know that I can walk, right?” You asked as he rested a warm hand on your lower back. 
Steve chuckled and kissed your head, opening the front door for you two. “I know, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.” 
You rolled your eyes at him and you walked over to the couch, and he helped you sit down. “Dork.” You giggled and grabbed your water bottle from the side pocket of your bag and took a sip. 
He chuckled and kissed your cheek, “Wait here. I’ll go grab the bags from the car.” He walked out of the cabin and grabbed your bags from the trunk. He came back in after locking up the car and the cabin. He set them down by the bed in the middle of the cabin. It was across from the fireplace, with the plush couch pushed against the wall underneath the window. The kitchen and dining room were right beside the door and the bathroom was beside the bed. It was cozy and modern, you almost wanted to move in. 
Later that night after dinner, you and Steve were tucked into bed. He had made you, your favorite turkey chili with crackers, and he had provided you with Tums before you even had to ask for them. You laid against Steve’s bare chest as his hands rubbed your swollen belly softly, you were dozing off until you felt his warm hands move up to your sore nipples. You let out a soft gasp at his touch to your sensitive buds, you were already breastfeeding your youngest and with the baby on the way, your nipples were leaky and sore as ever. His touch shots bolts of pleasure and slight pain up your spine. 
“Steve, mm, we can’t. We might wake the-” You stopped your sentence, realizing that you two were alone for the first time in years. You turned to him with a knowing smile and he smirked and wrapped his arms around your hips and pulled you into his bare lap. “We don’t have to be quiet.” You giggled and cupped his face and yanked him down to kiss you passionately. 
He groaned against your lips as you tugged him closer by his hair, your fingers tugging on his blonde locks. “I should’ve taken you on a vacation sooner.” He chuckled as you pulled away with puffy lips and a lustful look in your eyes. 
You smirked at him and ran your fingers through his hair, “You should’ve. Stark had only been offering since Sarah came along.” You giggled and he rolled his eyes playfully at you. 
“Wanted to spend all of my time with her then James came around and it was never the right time.” He shrugged and you nodded in understanding and he leaned down and took your leaking nipple into his warm mouth. You moaned at the warmth of his lips wrapping around your peaked nipple, he moaned as he tasted your sweet milk fill his mouth. He swallowed each drop and you moaned at the relief it gave you as the soreness began to give way with each suck. His large hand moved down to your bare core and he slid two fingers into your soaked cunt. He stroked along your walls slowly, curling them against your walls, aiming to hit that sweet spot deep inside of you. 
You moaned louder as he thrusted his fingers in and out slowly, “F-fuck, it’s been too long.” You moaned, feeling sensitive due to your pregnancy. It only took him speeding up his fingers and giving a hard suck on your nipples to push you over the edge. You cried out, gripping his shoulders tight as you shook with your orgasm, your thighs feeling weak as he stroked you through your orgasm. 
“Good girl. You’re always so good for me.” He mumbled against your temple as he pressed a soft kiss to your skin. He slowly pulled his fingers out of you, taking them into his mouth, moaning at your taste as it coats his tongue. He reached down to line his cock up to your hole and help you slowly sink down on his length. You gasped and moaned as he filled you up, “Fuck, you’re tight and wet for me, doll. You feel so perfect.” He groaned and rested his forehead against yours. 
You whined softly as he leaned back down and took a nipple into his mouth, he suckled on your breast as he slowly moved your hips up and down on his throbbing length. You felt your orgasm coming on quicker with each thrust of his cock. He drank from your nipple greedily, making your walls quiver around him with each suck. You yanked him closer to your chest, your fingers tangled in his hair as you felt the coil snap in your belly. You came gushing around his cock, he groaned and grunted as he pulled you flush against his lap as he hit his orgasm. His tip shot his hot cum inside of you, painting your walls white with his seed. You two slumped against each other and he pulled off your nipple and kissed your lips passionately. 
He cleaned you two up after a little bit and he helped you back into bed. He laid behind you after shutting the lights off with the dim glow of the fireplace lighting up the room. He nuzzled into your neck as his arms wrapped around your swollen belly, rubbing your belly with one hand. You smiled softly and pressed yourself flush against his chest, and you two dozed off, without the worry of waking up to a screaming baby. You two could just enjoy each other that night.
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anniflamma · 2 months ago
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This isn't a question, but rather a love letter to your art<3.
Thanks to you, I've started enjoying Greek mythology and the Bible again (I mean from a point of artistic, mythological, historical, and theological analysis; my status with any kind of religion is being agnostic XD).
And I already enjoyed Epic the Musical, but I really love the designs you make, how you empathize with the symbolism and lore of the Gods when designing them, and how you make Odysseus so human with his crude expressions that makes me empathize with him (And he's one of the characters I hated the most from Greek mythology lol)
And then there’s your art about the bible, I have to admit that I tend to avoid the biblical religion because of the weight it still has on our daily lives, the damage it has done from the past to this day, and how they deny it with current hypocrisy (I live in Spain, there the official religion is catholic), but your lgbt drawings have really encouraged me to open the bible and see it from an objective and neutral point of view, and just enjoy it as another book and not as something I’m forced to follow.
Also I didn’t know there was so much LGBT content in the bible XD Seriously, thank you so much, if you had a patreon, I would pay you for the amount of happiness and culture you have given me (^///^)
By the way, reading your posts I found out that you recently experienced an internet drama that has become so popular lately. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry that both you and that poor artist had to go through this, that human hypocrisy has no limits or shame, and that I agree with everything you say. Just because we like a character or an author doesn't mean we agree with their crimes or ideologies.
I hope you have a nice day<3
Hi! I’m sorry it took me a while to respond! I mean it, I’ve read this over and over, and it makes me so happy. I’ve been thinking about how to respond, but sometimes it's hard to get it out into words.
It makes me so happy that my biggest interests make others interested in it too. Heck, when people ask questions, I get all giddy!
Talking about biblical/christian saints, greek myths, history, different cultural views and changes was kind of the whole point of why I started this tumblr blog. I have so many drafts filled with random info about LGBTQ+ saints..... Now… I post mostly thirsty drawings of greek gods with hairy chests... T.T
And I sympathize a lot when it comes to religious trauma. I consider myself lucky in these matters, my mom is Catholic, and she has her views that I don’t agree with and hurtful. Yet she still supports me in her way and watching my bible retelling animatics, everytime I post a new bible animatic, she writes me: "What have you done to Daniel..."
I also have my hurts and anger towards hypocrisies too, and I guess this is my way of countering that?
LGBT content in the Bible is something that really fascinates me. I think it's important to keep in mind that people from about 2,500 years ago had very different views when it came to gender and sex compared to how we see it today. In a way, the Bible does have strict social gender expectations, and if you didn’t fit in, then you weren’t considered part of that gender. But at the same time, it acknowledges that your sex. I think it’s in the Talmud were it discusses the fact that, throughout the Bible, there were about eight genders:
Zachar: male.
Nekevah: female.
Androgynos: having both male and female characteristics.
Tumtum: lacking sexual characteristics.
Aylonit hamah: identified as female at birth but later naturally developed male characteristics.
Aylonit adam: identified as female at birth but later developed male characteristics through human intervention.
Saris hamah: identified as male at birth but later naturally developed female characteristics.
Saris adam: identified as male at birth but later developed female characteristics through human intervention.
Some scholars even believe that Abraham and Sarah were Tumtum. A Tumtum is not considered to be very distinct but rather flexible between male and female sex/gender—"sometimes he is a man, and sometimes he is a woman." The simple fact that God said Abraham had a womb and from it, he would have children. Some say that this is why he is a Tumtum, while some historical linguists argue that ancient Hebrew didn’t have the vocabulary for male genitalia yet. Both arguments are valid, and I like them both!
There’s tons of stuff I could bring up—Joseph with his princess dress, Naomi and Ruth, David and Jonathan, and the discussions around whether Daniel was a Saris Hamah or a Saris Adam. We know he was called a saris, but we’re just not sure which. And then there's Jael, whose story is filled with a lot of phallic symbolism, and even her name is very gender-neutral.
I think I’m going to end here. I could yap about these things forever! But thank you again taking your time writing to me and I hope you also have a nice day! <3
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thatdesigirl17 · 2 months ago
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please
jess mariano x fem!reader
requested by @dkjndfnmdfmdmnd I don't know if this is what you wanted but I hope you like it! no warnings, but its basically fluff and angst.
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‘Do I have to go?’, Y/N whined as Lorelai pushed her in her room. ‘Yes, Luke and Liz both have invited you, it’ll be rude plus do you really wanna miss that wedding? It’ll be our share of entertainment for the entire week!’, Lorelai tried persuading her. Y/N was home for another week due to her holidays at Yale, although she wasn’t exactly Lorelei’s biological kid, Lorelai had basically adopted her since Y/N’s parents hardly used to be home because of their work and travel. Currently, Lorelai was trying to make Y/N come to Liz’s wedding with her, but she didn’t want to and the reason was simple. Jess Mariano. 
Jess was her ex-boyfriend, the love of her life, her best friend who had left without so much as a goodbye about two years ago and hadn’t been in touch since. ‘Is it because of him?’, Lorelai sighed, sitting on the bed. ‘What will I even say to him?’, Y/N said, sitting across Lorelai. ‘You could slap him.’, Lorelai suggested sarcastically, making Y/N chuckle, ‘You cannot skip the wedding because of a man! Have I taught you nothing? You are coming to the wedding and showing Jess what he missed out on okay? No more discussions.’ Lorelai said as she exited the room, closing the door behind her, and leaving Y/N to get ready. Y/N sighed, she knew Lorelai was right and decided to do exactly what she said. She got ready wearing a short dress with a corset, highlighting her chest and waist. She put on light makeup and flowers in her hair because Lorelai insisted upon following the Renaissance theme. 
Lorelai and Y/N went to Luke’s where he was waiting for them on the sidewalk. They greeted each other as Luke complimented Lorelai. ‘You look great, Y/N.’, he said, looking over at her. ‘Thank you.’, she smiled politely. They started walking together, towards the town square where the wedding was being held. ‘Hey Y/N, you gonna be okay?’, Luke asked. ‘I hope so.’, she smiled. He nodded and walked with Lorelai. 
Just as they got seated, Liz’s friend Carrie arrived and told them about how Liz had ripped her wedding dress. Lorelai got up to help and dragged Y/N with her to Miss Patty’s where Liz was getting ready.  They greeted each other as Lorelai inspected the rip and told Y/N to get some pins from her purse. 
‘Here you go-‘, Y/N said, stopping right in her tracks as soon as she entered the barn once again. She saw him, Jess, looking right at her. He looked the same, except he had let his hair grow long. She could feel his eyes roaming around her body, taking her presence in. ‘Hey.’, she breathed. ‘Hey.’, he responded with a nod, his face expressionless but his gaze soft. 
‘Y/N, honey, the pins.’, Lorelai reminded as they witnessed the staring contest taking place between Jess and Y/N. Y/N shook her head and walked towards Lorelai, brushing past Jess. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as their arm brushed. ‘Here.’, she said, handing Lorelai the pins and looking at Jess through the mirror. The awkward tension filled the air in the room. 
‘All done!’, Lorelai chimed as she finished altering the dress. ‘I’ll go tell everyone.’, Jess said and left the barn hurriedly. Lorelai and Y/N too made their way out and back to their seats. Luke and Lorelai sat in the second row, next to each other, while Y/N sat in the first, next to an empty chair. ‘Luke, shouldn’t you be seated here?’, she asked, turning around. ‘He cannot sit without his date! And I’m not sitting in the first row.’, Lorelai jumped in, just as an old-timey traditional tune played, signalling the start of the ceremony as the flower girls marched. Y/N turned her attention back to the ceremony, her mind still replaying the flashbacks of Jess, the late night drives in his car, them sitting on the bridge by the lake, reading together or just taking walks around the town.  A man cartwheeling and tumbling brought her attention back to the wedding as Liz entered, walking down the aisle with Jess. 
Liz kissed Jess on the cheek as he sat down on the empty chair right next to Y/N, wiping his cheek. They gave each other a small smile as the minister came forward, singing a poem. The four of them clenched their jaws, trying their best not to laugh at the wedding ceremony. Y/N looked at Lorelai over her shoulder, both of them on the verge of laughing out loud. Jess reached over and gently placed his hand on top of hers, trying to control his laughter himself, but he knew how hard it was for her to control her laughter, especially in serious situations. She looked at him and bit her lip, finding him looking right back at her. She quickly looked ahead as the ceremony proceeded. 
‘How is Yale?’, he asked, leaning over close to her. ‘Good, what about you? Where are you currently?’, she asked. ‘Oh, just here and there.’, he answered. She nodded, a bit of anger flaring up at his vague response. 
‘You look good.’, he whispered, leaning close to her ear. ‘Thank you, so do you. You let your hair grow long.’, she remarked, looking at him as he smiled and nodded, ‘You know what they say, hair holds memory, didn’t want to take the risk of forgetting.’ 
‘Forget what? Your perfect little life in Stars Hollow that you had to run away from?’, she said sarcastically, a bit of anger in her voice. She could feel him visibly tense at her words as he retracted his hand. ‘Y/N, I-‘, he starts but stops and sighs. She waits for his answer, she has waited for his answer for months. 
‘Nothing? Seriously?’, she says, her words laced with disappointment. She looks at him expectantly waiting for him to say something, anything, but he doesn’t, he just looks down, staring at his hands. She exhales the breath she was holding and gets up, walking away. He gets up quickly, following her, ‘Y/N, wait!’ ‘Why should I? I think I’ve waited long enough, Jess.’, she says continuing walking. He sprints catching up to her, grabbing her arm, stopping her and stepping in front of her. ‘Please.’ ‘Why? You’re not gonna say anything.’, she said. ‘You know I’m not good at all this small talk, just give me a minute, please.’, he said. ‘Fine.’, she said crossing her arms as she waited for him to explain. 
He bit his lip and sighed before speaking, ‘Y/N, I’m sorry.’ ‘For what exactly? Leaving? Not saying goodbye? Not keeping in touch?’, she asks, her anger getting the best of her. ‘For everything, you didn’t deserve it, you didn’t deserve an idiot like me.’, he said, looking down. ‘You’re right I didn’t.’, she said, her gaze softening at his genuineness. ‘I’m so sorry, trust me if you will, there wasn’t a day I thought of reaching out to you.’, he said, finally meeting her gaze. ‘Why didn’t you?’, she asked. ‘I didn’t know what to say.’, he said, his voice low, a whisper, as he took her hands in his, ‘Y/N, I know this isn’t an excuse but I’m sorry, for everything.’ ‘Jess, I have to go.’, she said slowly removing her hands from his grasp. ‘Y/N, don’t. Please stay, let’s talk this out.’, he said, holding her arms preventing her from walking away. ‘Jess please, you don’t understand.’, she said, tears almost welling up in her eyes. ‘What don’t I understand?’, he said, confused. She didn’t answer him. ‘Make me understand.’, he tried to convince her. ‘If I stay here with you-‘, she started and then stopped, looking away. ‘What? What are you saying?’, he asked, a bit of frustration in his voice. ‘If I stay here with you, I’ll start loving you again! And you won’t, you’ll just leave, again.’, she said, her voice low as her confession hung in the air. 
‘You think I didn’t love you?’, he said. ‘You left me. It doesn’t exactly scream I love you.’, she said her anger still present. ‘I know, I’m sorry, I know this won’t make up for anything but I still need to do this.’, he said, as he cupped her cheeks in his hands, leaning in and kissing her. She kissed him back almost instantly, the feeling so familiar to her. His movements were so soft and sincere that it made her forget all about her anger. He pulled her closer, one of his hands snaking around her waist as she rested hers on his arms. He breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against hers, as he says breathlessly, ‘I’m sorry.’ 
Her phone rings startling them as they let go of each other. It’s Lorelai, she answers it. ‘Lorelai says dinner is served, we should go.’, she says as he nods softly and follows her lead. She goes on to find Lorelai as he takes his seat on the table set down for them. 
His eyes follow her every move, a small smirk appearing on his face as they make eye contact, while she talks to Lorelai. He gets up and walks over to her. ‘Dance with me?’, he asks towering behind her. ‘Are you high?’, she asks sarcastically,  turning around. ‘Just trying to make up.’, he shrugs. ‘You’ve got a long way ahead of you for that, don’t think this is it.’, she says as she lets him lead her to the dance floor. ‘Not even when I’m doing something I hate for you?’, he asks playfully. ‘Not even close.’, she chuckles, narrowing her eyes at him. He chuckles, a breath of relief leaving him as he hears her laugh.
He grabs her waist, pulling her closer and swaying to the rhythm of the song the band is playing. She rests her hands on his shoulders. ‘I intend on making it up to you.’, he says, leaning closer slightly. ‘It’ll probably cost you your entire lifetime.’, she chuckles. ‘Then so be it.’, he smirks.
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neonovember · 1 year ago
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Coming in HOT with some ANGST and FLUFF, having SUCH an intense emotional fight with Carmen one night. Maybe you’re both arguing about the opening of The Bear or finances or even just with communication in your relationship, Carmen just snaps about how you weren’t always this hostile. Just losing it on him and in tears crying out “YOU LEFT!! YOU LEFT ME CARMEN!! I understand what happened with you and your brother, but you just fucking left and didn’t even say goodbye!! You know how AWFUL that made me feel?! Like all of a sudden after everything we’d been through! It was like suddenly I was another face you just cut out and forgot about. It took me MONTHS to stop even just thinking about you. And then when you came back? It was as if nothing happened, but I was SO happy you were back….and now you always act like I’m some inconvenience that’s always in the way!!!! So what do you WANT Carmen?! Do you want me to stay or is this another New York situation?”. You can see Carmen’s heart shattering in his face as he just crumbles at the end begging for forgiveness 🥲. It ends maybe with the both of you holding each other in the kitchen “I’m so sorry” “No no….it’s okay….I shouldn’t have taken it out on you like that…”
All for you
this request was so good! your brain anon..😍 i hope i did it justice, this is part one of two because i always seem to be extending things that should be a one shot! i'm thinking part two should be from carm's pov? what do you guys think??
warnings: shouting, self deprecation, angst to the tenth power, no happy endings, carmen is so so so bad at communicating, unresolved tension/anger, new york carmy!
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Loving Carmen was a lot of things. 
It was the smoulder of colours brushed onto a canvas, it was the crash of waves in the middle of the pacific, fighting and thrashing against each other until it took you under and below. It was the spoonful of honey that eased the bitterness, it was beyond your control. A love so smouldering and bright that you didn't quite know if your heart could fit it all.
But it was also difficult, like dragging a 50 pound steel anchor every way you went. You were forever grateful to have Carmen in your life, again at least, but it wasn’t exactly like the things that he had struggled with before he wasn't struggling with even more now. 
You were patient, you tried to be at least. When he wouldn’t pick up your calls for hours, when he was so caught up with work he forgot to eat, when he was so caught up with work all the last of his energy was spent on you and not himself.
You loved Carmen too hard to let him destroy himself for his work, even if he hated you for it, you couldn't watch him crumble and break from the stress of the restaurant and the overwhelming pressure he put on himself. 
Especially when you saw him begin to unravel before you, melting hot wax crackling and setting form. He had begun to throw back bottles of pepto like it was water, crunching on tums like popcorn any chance he got, and it wasn't like the restaurant was doing bad, in fact it was doing amazing. Yet, it was that fact alone that made Carmen get worse, made him slip into the sinking black hole that told him one moment away from the shop, one glance off of his work and it would crumble into ash.
You had seen this in New York, where he would call you during the depths of the night, the sound of his stuttered sobs breaking any resolve you had left. You had raced to throw on a jacket and bring a pot of soup to his place even when he protested. You fed him whilst he shook against you, you whispered stories until he fell asleep, you kissed his curls.
You wondered if he knew.
You find yourself doing the same thing now, like an endless dance you both are bound to, every rational part of you wants to hate it but you can't deny the way your heart shimmers in want. Your mind moves with the familiarity of it, chasing after him like a game of cat and mouse.
Only this time you live with Carmen and not in a dingy shoebox in New York holding back every ounce of love you wanted to pour into him. 
Carmen’s mind was forever connected to food, it was something so automatic it fell unconscious under his skin. You found amusement in the way he’d stand in the middle of your apartment living room in quick critic over the late night cooking shows that you would turn on whilst waiting for him to come home, or the coffee around the corner he swears isn’t actual beans. 
But your soup, and anything else you made was something he had always reserved with a certain adoration. He’d whisper into the anonymity of your neck under the covers, recounting how your food was akin to a warm hug, coming home to the smell of cookies and a house of laughter and light he wished he had growing up.  
You hoped he had actually eaten something today, but it was that belief that evaded your mind as quickly as it came when you reminded yourself who Carmen was. It was push and pull, and you would be damned if he didn't finish your food and then some.
Your job allowed you to work from home, and you don’t know if it was your laziness or intelligence that enabled you to make it so that you only had to work a couple hours in the day. It was sometimes strange to Carmen, how you could be able to find love and creation in something without putting everything into it.
Carmen was always watching you, he found peace in it, the moves and motions of you all over the apartment, the scent of your body wash, you toothbrush next to his, you were a movie right in front of him and he would watch you for eternity if he could.
You turn into the back of the Bear, parking between the faded white lines before turning off the engine and staying in the car for a moment. You hated the cold, and your breath had already begun to blow out misty clouds every time you exhaled. Collecting the warm container of soup and a sandwich you quickly jog towards the restaurant, taking the back door when you notice Manny leaving.
“Hey Hun, how ya doing” Manny nods towards you with a warm smile
“Hey Manny, just coming to get Carmen to eat something other than tums” 
“Chef is definitely wound tight, mix up on a new delivery of some kind of fruit? Forgot the name.. It's spiky and smells like when we moved out those ovens and found those burnt onions and stock stuck to the floor” Manny replies with a wince as you both recall the devastating smell that hadn’t left your nostrils in weeks during the renovation.
“Uh, Durian?” You reply and Manny clicks his fingers at your reply.
“That's it. That mind of yours is really something. He hasn’t taken a break since the morning, but you always have a way with him” Manny raises his eyebrows and you shake your head with a laugh
You only remember that particular fruit because Carmen had been obsessing over a new menu item that included it as its main component. He had spent sleepless nights perfecting it, despite it being utterly magnificent the first try. You couldn’t shake him from his work, it could consume him for months if he let it, and you feared he was at the precipice of falling into that hole once again.
You walk through the back hallway leading up to the main kitchen, passing by the tired hunches of the shoulder dressed down in crisp white shirts and aprons. The Bear had a late start today, Sydney suggested opening a little later for a full dinner menu rather than lunch as well and the turn out had shocked you all.
It also meant Carmen came home even later than he already did during those nights, you’ve had to damn near carry him to the bath to get him to not drop dead the second he came home. You didn’t mind however, you couldn't deny the faint thrum of your heart content as you washed Carmen’s hair whilst he lay against you half asleep. 
You spot Sydney at her station, and you quickly walk over to see her prepping for dinner, the swoop of her knife cutting into red meat in a kind of curve you knew she had perfected over the years.
“Hey Syd, early start?” You say, once your side by side with her
“Oh don’t remind me, can you believe the L got backed up from all the ice last night? Added a whole 45 minutes to my commute” Sydney groans out, shaking her head as she turns to you. Grateful to have a reprieve from her repetitive cutting.
“Goddam Chicago, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve got a bottle of wine with your name on it in my fridge and it is dying to be opened and shared by two very, very tired women” You reply, smiling at the way Sydney raises her eyebrows gleefully at the thought.
“I am holding you to that, as soon as we get through today. God, this new dish Carmen has thought up is kicking my ass” Sydney replies, and your ears chirp at the mention of the man you’ve been looking for.
“Speaking of Carmen, have you seen him?” 
“Yeah, I think he’s still in the office, been on call with one of our vendors cause of the mix up with the--”
“Durian, yeah. Thanks Syd” You reply, giving her a nod before making your way to the hallway leading into the office.
You hear Carmen before you see him, the sound of his loud voice seeping through the cracks of the door. His voice rises as he gets more and more agitated, and you don’t miss the sound of a cup being thrown against the wall as the phone call continues, not waiting a moment before firing back muffled words you can hardly make out except
“Unprofessional” “waste of my time” “fuckin’ dick”
So yeah, you thought it was definitely a good time to walk in and get your extremely agitated boyfriend to eat your soup.
Just as you walk through the door, you see Carmen slam the phone back onto the receiver, shouting out obscenities at the object as he throws his chair back onto the floor. Years working together has made you unfazed by his outbursts of anger, though you have been sly in trying to get him to go to therapy so that he doesn't get an aneurysm over the phone with the Wifi company or something hilariously trivial.
“Hey Carm” You say, whilst closing the door, and Carmen look up at you in surprise, his features sobering, as his eyes relax into a comforting gaze.
“Ah shit, sorry bout that, just some stubborn, pig headed vendors who don’t want to fix a problem they fucking caused” Carmen replies, his chest rising rapidly as he takes sharp inhales of oxygen. 
He turns to face you and you take in the sunken look of his cheeks, the skin a little discoloured like he was sick, and his hair dishevelled and falling flat against his face like he's run his hand through it too many times.
“Jesus Carmen, have you gotten any sleep?” You reply, instantly as you make your way over to him, pressing a hand on his shoulder.
Carmen shudders against your touch, shaking his head as he leans back and away from you. You stumble as you look down at your hand now inches away from his shoulder in confusion. Carmen never turned you away from him, in fact during those unforgiving times of anxiety and anguish, when he felt the entire sky falling, you would be his anchor to bring him back.
The fact that he had visibly shuddered when you touched him made your heart ache, and it hurts even more when Carmen notices, the guilt spilling into him.
“Just been so busy” Carmen replies, his eyes darting everywhere but you, as you nod with a tight smile, backing away from him.
You reach for the soup you've left on the edge, placing it on the desk and you nod to it
“Have you eaten today?” You reply and Carmen stops watching you, blinking slowly as he tries to remember the last time he's actually consumed something, before coming up empty and shaking his head up at you with a groan.
“I thought so, you need to eat Carmen, how can you expect to function let alone run a restaurant if you aren't at your optimal level” You reason, leaning against the table, with your arms crossed against your chest.
“It’s fine, I was just gonna grab something small” Carmen waves you off
“Actually, I brought you food right now so I think it would be a perfect time-
“Is that why you came? To micromanage me like some toddler” Carmen suddenly replies, his eyes narrowing as he looks at you through half lidded eyes.
“I- what? I didn’t-”
“I can run my restaurant blindfolded with my arms tied behind my back, alright? I don’t need you to come and patronise me like you know every goddamn thing” Carmen spits out, and you can't help the way your blood runs hot, the rhythmic beat of anger pounding through you like a hammer.
How fucking dare he
“Excuse me? I came here for you Carmen, not some self-righteous moment to say I'm better than you. God damnit, is that what you think? I came here to make sure you didn't faint and fall into a pot of boiling hot water” You spit out, Carmen looks up at you, hes blues swimming in ire as he lets a humour-less laugh rumble through his chest.
You felt all the things you had kept a lid on begin to tumble out of your mouth, and soon you’re anger morphed into a building current. The flashes of everything that had gone wrong, the lack of communication, the coming home late, it all has begun to accumulate rapidly and you let it consume you in its entirety. 
“Sure, of course,” Carmen sings. “I’m not your fucking child alright? You are my goddamn mother so stop treating me like you need to make sure I eat 3 times a day and have my nightly bath. I’m a grown man-”
“Then ACT LIKE IT!”
Carmen looks up at you in surprise, his brows knitting as his head swivels back from your outburst. You had never screamed at him, in fact, Carmen can’t remember a time where you had screamed at anyone like you did now as you stare him down deviantly. Eyes burning with a fiery anger that begged to be stoked. Carmen knows this, your hands shake in tight fists like your seconds away from swiping him, and he resorts back to his usual self destruction of turning back and running away. 
“Yeah, yeah that's right, walk away, walk away like you always do. Carmen, soon enough you're going to have to face it you know? You’re gonna have to face your fucking issues before it destroys us both” You scream, and Carmen pauses, causing you to stumble. Carmen turns around to face you in the middle of the hallway, the rush of anger present on his cheeks, causing the veins to bulge out on his neck and he looms over you
“Issues, I have fucking issues? You’re screaming at me because of goddamn soup”
“It’s more than fucking SOUP!” The screech of your voice bounced across the thin walls of the restaurant hallway, your throat begins to burn as you begin to swallow down the emotion bubbling within you. You want to reach into him and rattle his neck, force him to see the destructive path he was taking, force him to do anything but turn away and shut you out.
A quiet trepidation falls over the entire kitchen as they watch you both fight, it was unheard of, an anomaly that seemed wrong, like someone had gotten a couple from the street and put your faces on it.
Watching you both fight was like watching a performance. The way you both leaned into each other menacingly, neither of you backing down, there was an indefinite energy that bubbled between you both, you were seconds away from shocking each other or making out. 
“What is it then huh? Why are you acting like this? You expect me to read your goddamn mind? You’ve changed alright? Everyone can see it, I can't even recognise the person in front of me half the time” Carmen sneers, his neck turning a crimson red as he clenches his jaw painfully. He’s holding himself back, his body shakes with it, the tight clenches of his fist stopping him from putting a hole in the wall or smashing a chair.
“I’ve changed? Me?” You cut yourself off with a chuckle, Carmen shifted his gaze as his eyebrows knot in confusion, and when you catch a glimpse of his face you can’t help the booming sound from crawling up your throat, keening over as the sick sound of laughter rocks through your body.
The rest of the team now watches on in horror, you were laughing, why are you fucking laughing?
You try and gulp down the uncontrollable fit of laughter, you can practically feel your body shift down into the jagged memories from all those years ago. From a place and time you had shuffled into a no named cabinet and thrown into the deepest depths of the ocean. 
You didn’t want to remember, you begged your mind to forget, but as your laughter slips into sharp inhales, you already can taste the wetness streaming down your cheeks, and slithering down the slope of your neck.
Your sob’s rack through you, winding you until you hunched over, reaching out onto the wall to steady yourself and trying to find footing as the ground caves beneath you.
Carmen recognises it in an instant, taking a tentative step forward, raising his arms before dropping them in a second, like he was approaching a volatile animal.
“Fuck, I’m sorry I-” Carmen starts, but you’ve already raised yourself from your hunched position, the tears dripping into the linoleum floors and splashing onto your combat boots.
You didn’t want to face that time in your life again, but Carmen has practically forced you too, and there's no way in hell you weren’t going to drag him down into that bordered off well. Fuck being the bigger person.
“No no, you spoke, this is my fucking turn now” You grunt out, the rippling grief leaving your body in a flash as you sneer over him.
Carmen gulps back a retort, his mind re-circuiting, trying to figure out your polar behaviour. Carmen knew better to interrupt you now, in fact the restaurants was a pin drop quiet, safe for the whooshing sound of the central air corn, and the sound of Carmen's stuttering inhales.
“YOU listen to me” You spit, pointing a finger, pressing it into Carmen's chest so hard he stumbles back
“You fucking left me Carmen. You! You- just, you dropped everything we had, everything we ever built in New York and you disappeared. And it was Mickey, and you needed to be there and I got that, I get that, but you- you just left me there.” You grunt, biting back the swell of emotion that erupted when you thought about those years ago. 
“You became a ghost, and god,- you could have told me, after everything I thought we had- you could've told me! But then you didn't. And I was left to pick up the pieces, wondering if you had ever loved me, wondering if I should have given half of myself to you whilst you couldn't even call me back” You stutter out, shocking back the onslaught of tears as you swallow around the lump in your throat.
Carmen’s face pales as he registers those years ago in New York, the immediate look of guilt and anguish twisting his features as he leans onto the wall for support.
Even after all these years, all this time, you still felt it like it was yesterday. All your work had become undone, the thin veil of healing had been stripped back to bare bones in an instant, and you hate it, you hate it so much. Why couldn’t you have packed up and moved on? Why did you have to fold back into yourself at those memories? You don't know what you're seeking now, vengeance, restitution, it all becomes blurred in the heat of it, and god have you wanted to strip your skin and wake up restored since that night.
“You ruined me for a year Carmen. I was a shell of myself because of you. And then you called me that afternoon and you know what? I wanted to throw my phone into the fucking Hudson. I wanted to rip my hair out and scream and hurt you like you hurt me because the truth was I already forgiven you before you even apologised. And you never did. And I still wanted to come back to Chicago for you.” 
“Honey-” Carmen's strained voice shudders at your words, and you can make out the red of his eyelids, the tears collecting at his lids.
You hold up a hand, stopping Carmen from speaking, tears begin to form at your waterline, threatening to break, your vision blurs, the features of Carmen’s tormented face becoming wobbly and undefined. 
You were so sick of crying, you were so sick of it.
“And I won’t ever make you keep paying for a mistake for the rest of your life, I let go of that anger because you needed my help and in some way, I fell in love with you all over again, I was able to make peace with it.” 
“But you don't think I know you Carmen? When you overwork yourself to death you can barely eat? When you get bad again at calling me? When you were good, you were the best person in my entire world, but when you're like this?” You shake your head into the empty space between you, hands waving in front of you. 
Carmen looks torn apart, his hair falling flat against his forehead, his hands in tight fists as he shakes his head against your words. Begging, on his knees, begging for you to stop, to stop saying those things that came from your mouth that were not true. His body shakes with it, the gushing feeling of guilt, it washes over him in waves.
His mind is going a mile a minute, every thought of work, of that mismatched order he had to deal with, of the vendor who refused to deliver, it all went out the window the second your face contorted in that heart aching way. He can't lose you, every fiber in his being yearned for you, he lived for you. And here he was losing you, like a brush of paint across a canvas.
You were slipping from him every second you stood there with tears dripping down your cheeks like a stream.
“You’re the one that's changed. You're the one who's always changing. Don’t throw it back at me just because you can’t see it” You mutter with a shake of your head. Your voice carries a finality with it, and you jerk from Carmen when he takes a step towards you. You can't breathe in here, and you pass by the concerned gases of the rest of the Bear, shaking your head and moving away from Sydney, before dipping back into the busy streets of Chicago. You bite your tongue the entire way until the taste of copper fills your mouth.
Folding yourself into the huddled waves of mundanity, leaving your soup and the last bit of your aching heart on the bench of Carmen's office.
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ryanmarshallryan · 6 months ago
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Art Reflects Reality - A Prey's Birthday
Carter had been enjoying some community with some new friends of his local chapter of a gay rugby association. They played hard on the field, then they played hard afterwards, often partying or hanging out together, and always eating big.
Some of the guys accidentally came across some vore art Carter had drawn of himself getting swallowed, when it fell out of his bag one day after a practice.
“Hey this is good!” one said to Carter, who looked a bit mortified at the paper in another’s hands, “Don’t worry mate, you’re in good company.”
“No kink shaming here,” said another. 
“Sounds like a good way to get protein,” another said with a wink and a slap of their gut at Carter
After that Carter assumed the other guys had forgotten about it. But when it came to his birthday, he discovered he had been wrong. One of the guys who had seen the drawing, held out a large envelope to Carter, with “Happy Birthday” written on the outside. Carter opened it to find a very well done comic sketch of a vore scenario. In the art Carter saw himself being swallowed head first, by another one of the players during a rugby practice. There was another comic panel showing the aftermath and the pred saying “Sorry, I was trying to catch the ball, accidentally caught you in my throat instead!”
“Been meaning to get back into art for fun, so I decided to take some inspiration to make you something for your birthday.” Carter was speechless at hearing these words from his teammate.
The player went on, “Oh yeah and some of the guys have another surprise as well.” Just then five other players lined up and started lifting their shirts off over their heads and casting them aside, “If you’d like, feel free to choose a belly to lounge in the rest of the day.”
Carter looked puzzled. What could they mean?
The guys laughed, and one piped up “Maybe he needs a demonstration.”
“All right then,” said the artist player, who promptly stripped off his own shirt and walked over to the other who had spoken. Carter watched in disbelief as the artist was lifted off the ground and swallowed whole in less than a few moments by the other player, who sat down with a thump on a bench and began rubbing his gut.
“Oof, great, idea Carter, great idea,” he said, “Wanna rub?”
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Carter came over and cautiously felt over the player’s hairy belly, with his mouth dropped in awe, “How did you do that?” Carter felt the prey player writhing around underneath the layers of fat.
The player gave a great belch, “It’s your birthday, mate. Feel free to watch and rub a gut… or if you’re adventurous… why not get inside one?”
Carter considered a moment. He heard a shout of approval from the artist prey, and decided it couldn’t be that bad in reality if there were no signs of pain. Maybe vore in real life could be fun. But how?
“Oh yeah, and don’t worry mate, we each got a whole bottle of Tums if it gets too tingly in there.” said one of the big bellied players jiggling his belly, “happy to have you be a snack to hold us over for your birthday dinner, but don’t wanna lose a player off the team to a digesting belly.”
Carter smiled and shrugged, “Ugh I wish I could choose all of you,” looking around at the bellies in front of him. One player had a round hairy gut, another more smooth with a low hanging gut. Another had one that looked like their gut was hard as a rock. He decided upon the last in the line, a player named Kai, whose round, flabby belly looked soft and cozy, roomy but still snug. 
Kai gave Carter a smile, and took his hands and placed them on Kai’s belly, “Wanna get cozy up in here?”
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Carter nodded enthusiastically, and stripped off the rest of his clothes. The other players lifted Carter up in a fireman's carry, and tilted him downward into Kai’s waiting maw. Kai made quick work of Carter, swallowing him down into his fleshy belly with the ease of someone a pro at eating. Carter felt himself jostled around inside Kai’s belly, and saw the faint red light through Kai's shirtless belly fat. He could hear muffled talking and laughing, felt a jolt as Kai must’ve sat down, and heard a car rumbling. Carter felt around his enclosure and got comfy, experiencing his vorish dream for the first time in an unexpected birthday fashion.
Quite suddenly he felt Kai’s stomach muscles begin tensing and relaxing with intense force and thought that they might have waited too long. Carter felt a twinge of fear and arousal, assuming that Kai’s stomach was about to begin digesting him right now. Bracing for the stomach acid to burn his body, and the air to leave his lungs for good, Carter tried to let go of inhibition and relax into this final birthday adventure, when suddenly he felt himself thrust upward back through Kai’s throat and into the waiting arms of half a dozen players, who forcefully dried him off with towels and had him throw on some clothes.
Carter was both relieved and a little disappointed in his vore experience being over, but the fun did not end, the boys chanted a drinking song while leading him into a local bar. They ordered him a piece of cake, and continued singing joyous melodies of “he’s a jolly good fellow” and such, much to the annoyance of some other bar hoppers.
After a raucous chorus of another song, one of the other potential pred players leaned in close and asked Carter, “Had enough of being in a belly? Or still wanna try out the other guys’ guts?”
On his other side the artist friend leaned in close, “Reynolds is probably big enough to fit both of us if you’re looking to try some fun a little different.”
Within five minutes the crowd was chanting on Reynolds, who had swallowed the artist friend already, and was beginning to swallow Carter, headfirst.
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“I could get used to this as a post game activity,” Carter suggested to the artist friend, as they squirmed around in Reynolds belly. Through the thick layers of fat, they could hear a chorus of “Happy birthday dear lunch meat! Happy birthday to you!” Carter never thought he’d be so aroused and excited to be called “lunchmeat” by a group of big men, but alas, birthday magic makes the strangest of scenarios wonderful and memorable.
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starstruckmiraclekitty · 2 years ago
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THE 141 RESPONDING TO READER'S CRAVINGS (pregnant or not) SUSPICIOUSLY BUT STILL GETTING THEM WHAT THEY WANT cuz they love them 😭😭
Hehe, absolutely! I did this one just as pregnant readers cravings if that's okay! I've heard of some really interesting ones to say the least🤣
141's + König's Reactions To Pregnant Readers Cravings
Warnings: mentions of gagging, urge to throw up
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Simon Ghost Riley-
Simon awoke to an empty bed, groaning as he stretched his arms out to find your side of the bed cold. He rubbed at his eyes and stretched before swinging his legs off the side of the bed.
His brows furrowed slightly as he could smell the aroma of tomato sauce in the air. It was 8 am, what were you up to downstairs?
He made his way down to the kitchen and found you singing along your favorite song, cooking away at the stove.
"...babe?" He asked, approaching you slowly. "What, uh, what are you making?"
"Have you ever seen the movie ELF? With Will Farrell? That scene where he makes the spaghetti? It just sounded really good." You turned to him with a wide smile, as you giggled maniacally.
Simon swallowed thickly, slightly terrified at what was unfolding in front of him. He'd be lying, though, if he said he didn't find the sight of you adorable. You had a raging bedhead, your makeup still slightly smudged from yesterday, and were draped in one of his shirts, which practically dwarved you despite your growing belly.
He watched as you struggled with the pasta and chuckled slightly before making his way over to you, placing his hands on your waist as he kissed your forehead. "Need help?"
"Yes! Oh, that'd be great. The sauce is almost done. Can you get the syrup and the candy from the pantry?" You turned to him with a smile, and there was no way in hell Simon could ever say no to you.
He did as he was asked and felt his insides churn slightly as he watched you throw all of the ingredients together on the plate.
"Darn bottle won't open!" You huffed in frustration, prompting Simon to come to the rescue. "Thanks, Si. Once it's opened, can you pour it all over the pasta?"
"You want...syrup all over the pasta?" He suddenly realized you were being quite serious about the reference to the Christmas movie. "I uh.. okay."
He felt bile rise in his throat as he poured the syrup all over the pasta and tomato sauce, and it took everything in him not to puke as he watched you scarf it down. "It's SO good, Simon!"
"Sweetheart, I love you, but that looks dreadful." He chuckled, patting you on the head. "I'll go to the store and buy some TUMS, lord knows you'll need it later."
He gave a kiss to your head before grabbing his keys, stopping when you called out to him, waiving a small piece of paper. "Wait! I have a list. Can you get me these?"
"God, you're lucky I love you." He rolled his eyes playfully as he pressed a kiss to your lips. "Oh blood hell, that tastes horrid."
He grabbed the piece of paper and had to bite back a laugh as he looked at what was on the list. "Hot sauce? Ice cream? Tuna? Do I want to know?"
"Probably best not to ask."
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John Price-
"Babe, I was going to order us some dinner, what did you want?" Your husband, John, called from the other room.
"I'm actually okay! Order for yourself. Found my new favorite snack." You shouted back, digging into the food in front of you.
Confused, given that you never turned down the chance to order food, John made his way into the kitchen, and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you.
You were perched on the counter, 5 months pregnant, and in your lap was a carton of ice cream, with a jar of pickles right next to you. He watched as you scooped at the ice cream with one of the pickles in your hand.
John had to practice wicked self-restraint, as he tried desperately to not puke. "Love. Are you eating pickles... and ice cream?"
You nodded your head vigorously before biting off a chunk of pickle and spooning ice cream into your mouth seconds after. Your eyes fluttered shut as you let out a content sigh.
"Who knew! That pickles and ice cream would be SUCH a good combination?" You exclaimed, a wide smile on your face. "You should try it!"
"Oh. No, that's all you love. Wouldn't want to take it from you." He replied, trying to be polite. Though he found the idea utterly repulsive, he didn't want to make you feel bad about what you were craving.
John watched on, horrified, as you downed nearly the entire carton of ice cream and at least a half dozen pickles. How you weren't getting sick from it, he'd never know.
"Do you know if we have peanut butter?" You asked, turning to your husband with a hopeful gaze.
John blinked a few times before realizing you were talking to him. "Oh, yeah. Let me uh, grab it for you."
He reached in the cabinet next to you and slid you the jar of peanut butter. You grabbed at it and methodically dipped the pickle you were holding into the peanut butter. This time, Price couldn't hide the look of disgust on his face.
"Oh my God, this is incredible. I don't know why I didn't try this before!"
"I can think of quite a few reasons why a perfectly sane person wouldn't try it." He chuckled, and quickly dodged as you threw the spoon at him.
"Hey, Mister! You know better than to rile up a person when they are pregnant! It's not good for the baby!" You said playfully, as you flicked pickle juice at your husband. "Anyways, go ahead and order whatever you want!"
"Oh, sweetheart, my appetite is long gone."
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Johnny Soap MacTavish-
"Hey, when you're out... could you possibly get pickles... and jelly?" You approached your husband shyly as you twirled your hair between your fingers. You'd had this craving for weeks, and it was getting to the point where you could no longer ignore it.
Johnny stiffled a laugh before offering a mock salute. "No idea what you'll do with those, but sure thing. I'll be back soon."
~
You met Johnny at the door when he returned, and were quick to grab the bag from his hands and sprint to the kitchen. You tore through the bag to grab the jar of pickles, and the jelly, and made quick work of spending the jelly all across the pickle.
"So, you going to make a peanut butter and jelly sandy? I didn't know if we had bread so I bought it... I bought..." Johnny's words trailed off as his eyes landed on you, practically inhaling the jelly covered pickle.
You turned to him with a sheepish gaze as you swallowed the remainder of your concoction. "What?"
"You just...ate pickles and jelly?" He asked, his brows raising.
"Look, it sounds gross, but I promise you, it tastes amazing. Try it!" You held up the second jellied pickle to him with a proud smile.
Johnny shook his head, chuckling and against his better judgment, grabbed the pickle from you, and took a bite.
"Not.. Not terrible." He said, coughing slightly. "Have you heard of dipping chips in honey though? Heard that's a weird craving but am tempted to try it if you're down, we've got the ingredients for it."
From that moment on, Johnny helped you with any pregnancy craving you had, and even encouraged some of them. He'd find various combinations on social media and would try them along with you.
The two of you even made it a game to see who could come up with the tastiest, weirdest combination. Surprisingly, Johnny won nearly every time.
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Kyle Gaz Garrick-
"Hey, babeeee?" You called out to your husband, Kyle, who was cooking breakfast in the kitchen.
"Yeah love, what's up?" Kyle asked, looking over his shoulder as he flipped the bacon.
"Could you possibly put a glob of Nutella on the side with my plate of bacon?" You bit your lip nervously, unsure of how Kyle would react to the unusual request.
"Sure, but what did you need it for? I don't have any toast made."
"I uh...dipping the bacon in it sounded rather good, so I wanted to try it."
"Well that's a new one, don't think I've heard that one before." Kyle chuckled.
He finished up cooking and put together a small plate of bacon and Nutella for you. He stared at it for a moment, wondering how you possibly could've come up with this concoction. To say he was curious of how it would taste, was an understatement.
He walked over to you with a smile and handed you the plate, laughing softly as you did a small happy dance. "One plate of bacon and Nutella for my love."
"Oh, it smells heavenly, thanks, Ky!" You dug right into the food, groaning loudly as it tasted even better than you thought it would. "Kyle, you have to take a bite. I know it looks gross, but it's so good."
Kyle couldn't help himself. The giant smile on your face had you looking adorable, and he'd do anything to make you happy. He walked over and took one of the slices of bacon before dipping it in the Nutella.
"Holy shit. This is so delicious, babe." His eyes lit up as the flavor exploded on his tongue. He grabbed another slice of bacon and used it to scoop up a large bit of the hazelnut spread.
You giggled as you moved the plate to the middle of the table, and gestured to the seat next to you.
Needless to say, the two of you spent the better part of that morning eating Nutella and bacon, not that either of you were complaining.
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König-
"Maus, what's all this in the cart?" König asked as he watched you throw yet another thing into your overflowing shopping cart.
"Oh! I'm just super hungry. I had a few things I wanted to try out." You gave him an elated glance before barreling down another aisle to grab another ingredient.
König chuckled to himself before looking down at the array of ingredients in the cart. You had everything from hot sauce to ice cream to oranges. He swallowed thickly as he remembered reading something in one of the pregnancy books he bought about the weird cravings those who were pregnant got.
You both made it home about an hour later, and he watched as you bolted inside, with one of the bags tucked firmly in your arms. He followed behind you and nearly gagged when he watched you grab the bottle of hot sauce and the jar of peanut butter. Surely... you weren't going to..
"Kö, can you get me a spoon?" You asked sweetly as you opened the ingredients in front of you.
König stood there for a moment, unable to process what was happening before he shook himself. He walked over slowly, grabbing a spoon from the drawer and handing it to you hesitantly. He watched as you snatched it from his hands, got a spoonful of peanut butter, and drizzled a decent bit of hot sauce on top.
You put the spoonful in your mouth and licked the entire spoon clean, moaning as you absorbed the taste. You put the spoon back in the peanut butter, before repeating the process with the hot sauce. "This is just what I needed."
"It...it tastes good?" König asked, bewildered. In his life, he'd seen people eat some pretty weird shit, but this easily took the cake.
"Oh gosh, it so does. Try it?" You asked, beaming as you turned to him. He gulped audibly as he approached you, taking the outstretched spoon.
You watched him with a hopeful gaze, as he took a tiny bit of the concoction on the spoon. He did his best to keep a straight face as he processed the taste and was trying not to gag as he desperately did not want to hurt your feelings.
He cleared his throat a few times before darting over to the fridge to grab a drink. He grabbed the first beverage he could find and downed it. "Maus.."
You gave a small giggle as you watched your husband's struggles. "Not a fan?"
"Oh, no, it was.. it was good. I'm just very thirsty." He gasped out as he finished the last of his drink. "Perhaps, I could make you a better snack though? I don't know how filling this will be for you."
"What kind of snack did you have in mind?"
König gave a hearty chuckle. "Well considering we bought half the store today, I'm sure I could come up with something."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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arcane-vagabond · 1 year ago
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Ok so I just saw a TikTok about a woman who found out she was pregnant with their first child a few weeks after her husband left for deployment and she’s like 8 months pregnant now and he’s coming home from deployment finally. I was wondering about Jake in that situation. Like how would he react? I know he’s be devastated to miss most of the pregnancy and not being able to give you a hug when you guys found out. He would have been so attentive and doting during the pregnancy normally, but now he would be SUPER doting to try to make up for lost time. What do you think?
(Feel free to ignore this💕)
Pffffft as if I'd ignore this gold mine.
But like, imagine though.
You waited anxiously in the parking lot, leaning up against your car in a futile effort to ease some of the comfort. It wasn't easy being eight months pregnant. And it wasn't easy having to go through it alone while your husband had been shipped off to god only knows where just before you had found out. And it certainly wasn't easy keeping it a secret from him for that entire time.
You still weren't sure you had done the right thing by not telling him. On one hand, you hadn't wanted him to worry while he was an ocean away, and you definitely didn't want him to worry about you when he was operating a multi-ton machine thousands of feet up in the air. No, the very thought made you sick with worry of your own.
On the other hand...
You opened up the passenger side door, carefully dipping down to grab your water bottle that you had flung in the seat and some Tums for your heartburn. You had just found the bottle of Tums when a pair of strong legs stopped in your peripheral.
"Well, hi there gorgeous."
You jumped, turning to face the man beside you.
"Jake!" you cried, smiling reflexively at the sight of your husband. He beamed down at you as you straightened, tummy still hidden by the car door. Jake leaned in to plant a long, slow kiss to your lips. One turned into two. Two turned into three. Finally, you pulled away from him with a hum, and a pout settled on his lips. "Missed you, baby."
Your heart stuttered. "I missed you too," you replied, cursing at the nerves that made their way into your tone. Jake's brow furrowed.
"You okay, darlin'?" he asked. You shifted your weight as you tried to figure out the best way to tell him. Before you could, Jake rounded the door, stopping when he finally took in your full form. His eyes widened, and his jaw nearly fell to the ground. "What?" he trailed off.
"I wanted to tell you," you rushed out, feeling tears prickle at your eyes. Damn hormones. "I just didn't know how, and it didn't seem like the kind of thing you say over the phone, and I didn't want to worry you, and it's not like you could just up and leave, and-"
Jake didn't seem to be paying attention to your rambling as he stared down your stomach, his gaze full of quiet awe. Slowly, he reached a hand out to place it on your stomach.
"We're having a baby?" he asked quietly. You felt the tears roll down your cheeks before you could stop them.
"Yes," you sobbed. "Oh, Jake. I'm so sorry."
That caught his attention. His eyes snapped up to meet yours. A confused frown tugging at his lips. "What on earth do you have to be sorry for, sweetheart?"
"I should have told you before now," you cried. Jake shook his head, reaching up to cradle your head to his chest as much as your stomach would allow.
"None of that, mama," he cooed, rocking you gently from side to side. "It's me who should be sorry for leaving you here to do this all by yourself."
"It's not like you had a choice," you muttered, nuzzling into his chest. Jake ran a soothing hand over your hair.
"Doesn't matter now," he hummed, pulling away just far enough to see you. "I'm here, and I plan on making up for lost time. Now, let's get home so I can pamper and spoil my beautiful wife that's carrying my baby."
Jake helped you into the passenger seat, making sure you were buckled in securely before jogging over to the other side.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" he asked excitedly as he drove the speed limit home, something completely out of character for your husband.
"A boy," you smiled, rubbing your stomach affectionately.
Jake grinned. "A boy," he breathed with a shake of his head. You were sure his cheeks were sore from how hard he was smiling. "Have you decided on a name?"
You shook your head. "Wanted to wait until you came home so we could decide together."
"What about Jake Junior?"
"Absolutely not," you snort. Jake's smile never faltered as he let out a chuckle.
"That's okay, mama. I've still got a whole month to get you to come around."
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