#bc I basically went “... Well he is now!”
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leticia22ma: ‘working with sam is like slipping on a glove that fits really well….wait, is that dirty? An old sock’
More angle of this moment (x) (x) (x)
#jam reiderson#sam reid#jacob anderson#The 92nd Street NY IWTV Season 2 panel#i dont get tired of watching this#always funny seeing jacob basically saying that c*ms inside him#bc 1st he called him a condom and then called him a c*m sock#all this while pretending to be innocent#which a lot of the fandom bought with it bc there is no way that a 30s something old man dont know what glove means as a slang 🙄#listen i can believe that at 1st he said that without any malice but then when he clock it he proceed to says smth even worse#quoting tweets#sam’s face journey to “slipping on a glove that fits well” is even better up close. blushing and speechless.#i love how you can see sam react to it immediately. it took the audience’s reaction for jacob to register#but sam’s deranged ass was right there with them from the beginning 😆#the way sam is just laughing because his head went the same way….this freak#I just love the way sam was like now you have all of our business out there#he wanted everyone to know Sam ‼️ Fits ‼️ really ‼️ well 🤭#idek how many times i said this but THEY FUCKING RAW!!!!!!!
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Everytime I look at Tumblr and see the tl I remember why I hate endgame with a passion you couldn't understand.
They fucked up Steve and Bucky so bad (yes, Bucky too bc suddenly he doesn't matter/isn't even a secondary character that deserves to be near Steve)
It's so funny to me (not) bc they talked about gay characters being in the movie at panels and interviews and even talked about Stucky at some point (basically queerbaiting) for then... Steve not even acknowledging Bucky. An awkward and impersonal hug doesn't cut it.
And Steve suddenly yearning and talking about Peggy? When he didn't even mourned her that bad and already had let her go ages ago? They knew they fucked up in CATWS with Steve and Buckys relationship, so they tried to distance them and then inserted Peggy bc ofc
(they possibly didn't have the time for a new character and they already had fucked up pairing Nat and Bruce and Wanda and Vision). Steve didn't have anyone else he cared about so they couldn't give him a new girlfriend. So they used Peggy AGAIN.
I'm not mad bc "Stucky not canon grr"
No.
I'm fucking pissed off because they did the worst character assassination and friendship assassination possible. Every movie of Cap America revolved around Steve saving Bucky at some point and him caring about him above all else, and you want me to believe that Steven Grant Rogers didn't care about him when Bucky died in front of his eyes? AGAIN? That Peggy's death was more important and impactful for him? If that was the case then why the fuck did he crash the plane then? If he cared so much about Peggy since forever?
No, that was just lazy writing and a way to reinforce Steve's sexuality "He can't be gay and you can't say that bc he LOVES PEGGY"(even tho he only kissed her once, even tho he crashed the plane and didn’t give her the coordinates, he didn't really care that much after all) they could have paired him with Nat in later movies, but they didn't.
That's why I only raise my eyebrows a lil when people say that x character will be gay canonically in a marvel movie/series. Is more than possible they won't. And if they are they're Deadpool, a secondary character no one cares about (obscure in lore too, so they can cut them off) or is plain queerbaiting again (because yes, even if you don’t see Steve and Bucky’s relationship as romantic, they DID QUEERBAIT IT)
Steve and Buckys relationship wasn't even written in a romantic way (you can ship them or not), but they tried so hard to rectify Steve's heterosexuality in endgame, that they fucked up their character arcs on purpose. And now they will always feel hollow and inconclusive. A bad taste in the mouth, a painful reminder of what it was and a what? 11 year long? characterization.
Idk man, I know I've talked about this more than three times, but omfg Tumblr reminds me why I hate that fucking movie!!! It's not my fault!!!
I know I'm going to end up writing something out of spite bc I can't take it shdkdjjcif
"It's been more than 4 years get over it" NEVER
Also the bit with Johnny Storm in Deadpool and Wolverine was also a dig (a fuck you if you will) to the fans bc Deadpool explicitly calls him Cap. And it implies that Steve as a character (not that old Steve nonsense) won't be back.
It's funny they've remade over and over again some movies (Fantastic 4, Spiderman) changed actors for characters (James/war machine, Bruce) and they include them in the multiverse/plot, but they won't do the same to some movies and some characters when they fuck up their stories, because they know if they do, they will have to acknowledge WHY they did it. Like with James/war machine changing actors.
So yeah, that's one of the reasons I don't care about Marvel anymore.
**I mean remake the movies ((Also they Can't remake Cap America bc that would mean they need to remake every important movie. And they don't have the time, the money nor the need. So that's why they decided to fuck their character arcs))
or include some characters in multiverse (they're going to do that with Tony/RDJ/Dr Doom after all, no?) and they also won't remake Cap bc the movies are amazing.
But the point stands. Steve couldn't be in DaW bc that would imply he's an alternative one or that Old!Steve was an alternative one or wasn't even Steve to begin with. But they couldn't do that ofc, no, bc that would give the fans hope in seeing Steve and Bucky together once again. So they did a dig at the fans bc "haha you thought it was Steve, but it's Johnny!"
Idk if I'm making sense at this point I'm tired af, need to sleep.
The thing is that they fucked up Steve Rogers's arc on purpose (Bucky's too, and others charas too tbh) and now they expect the fans to accept everything they give us with open arms. And imho I won't accept shit.
"Deadpool saved the MCU" how? If the other og characters are DEAD or they fucked them up too? Or are the butt of the joke now? Don't make me laugh. Most people don't gaf bout the new charas bc they only are presented in series not everyone watches (only available in one place) or are presented with characters that are dead now or as a replacement for the og characters. They aren't interesting on their own (not really, at least in mcu) and that's why most of the new stuff isn't liked as much. If they wanted to present more characters the opportunity passed already.
Also now if you want to watch and really understand 1 movie (if you don't read the comics too) you need to watch like 20 other movies and 5 shows. it's fucking exhausting.
#oh boy here we go again#im once again SCREAMING INTO THE VOID#anti endgame#anti marvel#i wrote this on twt originally#im really pissed off still#and so so tired#steve rogers#I don’t count X men bc the fucking timeline is more complicated than my brain can process rn#also weren’t they dead too?#idk I can’t remember atm#and I haven’t watched the movies in ages#the thing is I feel cheated bc they fucked up Steve and Buckys relationship specifically#and I can’t accept that and I really cant see Sam and Bucky suddenly being buddy buddy with each other either so TFAWS is a NO for me#also a notp noe bc people LOVE to hate on Steve and shit on him while they write stuff#also why I don’t believe anything Marvel says about having gay characters#if they really cared about representation or shit they would have assumed Steve was gay or at least bisexual or Buckysexual#but they queerbaited the shit out of the promos to give us that big fuck you in the end#and THEY KNEW they fucked up with CATWS because they went from theyre best friends to theyre kinda codependent in like an unhealthy amount#I mean assume in the other tag in a shit we fucked up ok well he’s this now kinda way#if you think about it Steve and Bucky are the almostonly characters that could be canonically gay or bi in the MCU (deadpool doesn’t count)#because they don’t have significant relationships with other people and even less with women#maybe Natasha? but they paired her with Bruce… when he has a relationship with Betty#THEY SHOT THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT AND BLAMED US#basically they got mad at us and broke their own toy bc they had a tantrum#so fuck you russo brothers#fuck you mcu#To the Tony isn’t straight crowd… they paired him with women only in MCU if I remember correctly#and yes I cant see Sam and Bucky as a couple#not sorry and if you ship them great! But i wont interact and not going to follow you bc i really can’t tolerate thst ship
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This started out as cat mirroring and fluff but unfortunately for Eclipse a lot of my trapcards have their origin in the first half of the 20th century and I'd like words.
@naffeclipse someone save him
*self insert Aster is not a girl (he/ she)
og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!
#post let luce#dcamv#bloodstain fool#naffeclipse#my art#menace4menace#Freud is the easiest of those trapcards#anyone who knows a bit about Freud hates Freud#so that's what made it into the joke#also shoutout to Plummy for asking if Aster is doing the cat mirroring thing#bc I basically went “... Well he is now!”#or we wouldve had more jokes about 1920s slang#posilutely as yes is honestly harmless to some of the shit people said back then#not that we have any room to talk thats how slang *works*#but also. oh my god#yknow when your parents try to stay hip n talk in slang?#opposite here. “youre from the future dont talk like that it sounds wrong when you say it”#long tag ramble. enjoy <3
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Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k
There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead.
Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this.
He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs. Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!
Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair.
Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.
He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.
His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?"
Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–
The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs.
One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles.
There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him.
"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"
Oh. Yes. That.
It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.
Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to.
Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly.
Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.
Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor.
Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step.
Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-
Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's.
He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.
Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before.
Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray.
He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further.
Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs, "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"
Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of!
But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons.
#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art.#me like two weeks later: hey guys :)#this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod#not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright???#but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling....#maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing!#anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE)#see this is why im not cut out for writing fic#its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts#if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5#anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness.#well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage#but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future#but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning?#also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv#mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all#hmm now how does one go about tagging fic#vettonso#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1#formula 1#martian#sebmark#also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed#hahaha! it is art to me!:#catie.art.#boy king au
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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i'm on my hands and knees begging people in my area to stop growing marijuana and grow some damn hay pleeeeeeese
#it's a problem#pot plantations bought up a lot of the good farmland and tapped into their irrigation ditches when it wasnt their turn to use the irrigatio#bc i guess that irrigation was a communal thing#and i know in one area of the valley that left a single hay farmer and like one person with cattle and the rest of it was pot pot pot pot#i haven't gotten hay there since we put the horse down so idk if they even sell hay still or if they went under like they expected to#now there's so many old fields and pastures filled with failed plantations' abandoned greenhouses trashed by weather#even the old man we originally got hay from died and his son took over and turned to growing pot and failed as well and abandoned it#so now he doesn't even work a hay field that's supplied a significant portion of hay to my valley for decades#so a lot of hay basically has to be imported from elsewhere in the state if even comes from this state at all#i'm just so frustrated. i want hay. where the fuck did all the hay go.#ny says#i could rant forever.#even if i wasn't looking into goats WHICH EAT MOSTLY HAY i still want hay for my rabbits and don't want to pay $30/bale
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my bro making my fave meal gluten free for me!!! 😭❤️
#fettuccine alfredo my BELOVED#have had it once since going gf 💔#he def is doing it bc i just got dumped 😂#which is v sweet of him tbh#i'm actually pretty ok with it now it was just right after it happened that i was crushed#but felt weirdly at peace abt it the following night and now i'm basically fine lol#still sad but i can 100% say it's for the best#there is a chance we couldnget back together but i honestly think it would be a bad idea#just can't promise i wouldn't let myself be talked into it bc of feelings#but tbh a relationship needs a stronger foundation than just feelings we didn't communicate well and he didn't prioritize me#which is fine as friends and we have lots of fun so we should def stay friends#but romantically i dont think it could ever work despite how i feel#and im not gonna settle for someone who won't prioritize me even if it means i end up alone#he has a lot of growing up to do and i don't think he ever will#so as much as i like him i think it would be a mistake to pursue that relationship#so i'm actually verybat peace w the breakup#like obviously my feelings are hurt and it felt like deeply awful like i'm unlovable etc i was falling apart the first night#then i just went numb and thought abt it rationally and im fine now#still a little sad but very much fine#but its still nice my bro is doing something nice for me lol#my whole family is feeling bad for me bc i was such a huge hysterical mess on friday night 😂#but by saturday night i was actually okay 🤷♀️#i know it goes in phases but i think i actually am ok fr#even tho i was really falling for him i know it would have been a mistake so im okay#i should be more hurt bc of the rejection itself maybe bc im really sensitive to that but i'm not anymore and idk why#lol#this has been a shitpost#don't reblog
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so is jannik your favorite player? i was under the impression it was matteo. sorry just curious 😅
hi friend! oh yeah that's a totally fair assumption fjfvjv yeah no it's jannik but matteo is a close second! (for wta it's aryna with ons and jasmine as close seconds. but jannik is like my #1 favorite player in general)
#maybe this is bc i have said more than once before that i'd root/want for matteo to win in a final against jan#and i do stand by that! like jannik is jannik to me i always want him to win BUT bc of how matteo's career went compared to jannik's (+ the#fact matteo is older) i'd take him winning a tournament over jannik pretty much any time#like. in a match that's early rounds i'm... a little more conflicted mostly bc as much as i love and have faith i matteo atm jannik is#just objectively more likely to go far in any tournament. so matteo beating him and then not winning the whole thing would kind of suck#bc i'd think “jannik could've won it all”. you know what i mean?#but like i still hold genuine hope in me that matteo could do it. always. so i WOULD be happy if he beat jannik#(or like. i'd be happy he won. not happy he beat jannik :/)#it's just if he did and then lost to someone else i'd want to cry for a week LMAO 😭#but anyway in a FINAL? no contest i would rather matteo wins it. at the moment at least#maybe that could change in the next years idk if like matteo gets really good again and wins like at least one slam lmao i'd be okay#with jannik beating him in a final again. OR if jannik won a shitton of slams and went for like a record???? but#let's not get ahead of ourselves here AND LET'S NOT JINX ANYTHING.#i'm talking too much but just to wrap it up: back in 2021 for example i'd have chosen jannik to win over matteo. definitely#bc their careers were on not exactly opposite trajectories as they are now but in a sense their 'roles' were switched#matteo was italy's number one and it was clear he was meant to win big things- so i thought well he's going to win a slam soon. i'd have#rooted for jannik to win as a sort of underdog in that scenario! now with matteo's career having taken a different direction due to injurie#he is not the favorite to win big tournaments anymore while jan most definitely is! so. matteo winning a trophy would mean more basically#that was way too long sorry gifbkhbm#yeah jan's my number one <3 he's the only one who's made me feel the same way roger did when i was younger and watching tennis :')#asks#anon
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You know .
#my mental breakdown this summer was actually completely explainable and while i did/said things i dont stand by#i dont actually think i was the bad guy here. interestingly.#i had to help my mom move and it triggered a huge panic attack bc of past trauma from moving house#and so now my family is saying im going insane#and my friend kept egging me on to ask out his friend#who he and i had developed a really nice friendship but he did kind of like. seem like he was trying to be my personal savior#idk i had a big crush on him bc ofc i fucking did no man has ever treated me that well before#then i jokingly tell him how i feel and he goes all serious#oh and it was four days after the 17th anniversary of my fathers suicide#who i think had bpd/ptsd#so i may be developing the same disorder . and it’s freaking me out#this guy claims he knew i had a crush on him which actually means the way he was talking to me means he was to keep my attention#(he sent a picture of him zoomed in naked hours before this so EXCUSEEE ME FOR ASSUMING)#and i started getting upset with the way i was being talked to and asked him to just say he was talking to me that way for attention#for my own peace of mind. like mind u we were talking every day throughout the day for months#voice calls would last over 5 hours. that kind of thing#i snap at him finally but immediately apologize#he then sends me a screenshot of his ex telling him ‘you have experience in dealing with mentally ill women’#followed by him saying ‘youre right. teehee love you’#so yeah duh i went to the fucking hospital it’s like someone hit me with a hammer in the head three times#then my fucking friend who goaded me into confessing to him tells me when i get out that he feels like im trying to make him choose between#when all i ever did was apologize profusely over and over again#fuck my entire ass man. oh and then two weeks later my best friend abruptly told me she was moving to maine#in two weeks. well no she didnt say that. she said can i stay at yours for a week#and i said um. what? and she said yeah im moving. and then used the fact that she had to get an abortion weeks ago as an excuse for not#telling me. and i said dude what the fuck? and she never talked to me again! so#one two three all gone BAM BAM BAM#oh this was also a week before my birthday#the trauma from moving wasnt actually abt tbe moving it was about how i was treated when we were moving#or basically any stressful family event
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you know i don't bring this up as a light anecdote because it involves me being talked about in really perverted ways behind my back. but when i was like 20 i was part of this large group of friends that was mostly a bunch of guys, and a couple of girlfriends. and the energy if you were a girl starting to hang around them was like. "ok, so who are you gonna hook up with/date?" and it didn't last long bc of course when the answer ended up being "well none of you," the patience they had for me evaporated. lol. so i was being talked about among literally every single one of them behind my back in a gigantic group chat, of like literally everyone in the original group chat (including the ppl who never fucking used it, and it was over twelve people) minus a few other ppl they didn't like, decidedly. and eventually one of my GOOD friends (that i am still friends w to this day) told me about it and then there was the whole drama of people not being able to accept consequences for their actions, not owning up to being cowardly bullies, etc... yawn yawn yawn. truly that was some stupid middle school shit from a bunch of immature ppl that i didn't really take to heart. not the guys, anyway. i was honestly very hurt by a couple of girls who partook in it though, that i thought genuinely liked me and who i genuinely liked in return, so that was shocking to me.
but anyway. after this all happened my sister went OFF on this one guy in particular. bc he had been a nuisance before. he was a slimy creep honestly. i used to feel a lot of pity for him bc i thought he was just sad and wanted attention but that was just my 20-year-old nonsense brain way of interpreting it. he was incredibly annoying and would wear girls down, would hop from one girl to another week after week, each one not reciprocating his constant desperate flirting and lovebombing. and there was a joke he participated in about me and my (also queer, female) friend that was particularly crossing a line. so kaily just ripped this guy a new one when he went to try and offer an explanation. like imagine trying to even talk to someone after you just humiliated and bullied their sister... couldn't be me. like i was literally the one being bullied in this instant but i can't imagine the kind of white hot rage i'd be in if someone did that to my sister. you know? so yeah.
at the end of this rant kaily told him "go to hell." you know. like fuck off. go fuck yourself. go to hell. good old indecent words to throw out at someone you loathe, right? i'm literally ONLY bringing this up because i cannot stop thinking, all these years later, about how one of the girls who participated in it, and was the least apologetic about it (in fact weirdly a year later she came back just to taunt me again and tell me how much better her life is without me and how stupid i was for breaking up a 'wonderful' friend group?? yeah that sounds like the behavior of someone who is over it)... i don't remember where but someone told me she talked particularly about that message to that guy and said "kaily told (name) to burn in hell" like. like that whole time she interpreted my sister as like a conservative christian who was calling him a dirty sinner. bc presumably she had never heard the phrase "go to hell" in a non-literal context before, or just never understood it?? like that girl didn't necessarily strike me as incredibly bright or something, in the short time i knew her, but i never would've guessed she could be so dumb...
but for the record that pervert guy yeah he is gonna burn in hell.
#tales from diana#im sorry how much dramatic backstory that anecdote required#that one girl and her friend are still some of the most baffling pieces of that story to me#like i hate to say it but i was not shocked that all but like two of those guys really liked or respected me at all#none of them seemed to like any of the other girls in the friend group#they just barely seemed to tolerate their friends' girlfriends. bc they had to#and some of those guys didn't even seem to like or respect their girlfriends#both of those girls who bullied me were some of 'the girlfriends' and i have to be honest. i wouldnt wanna be 'the girlfriend' there#neither of them are still w their then-boyfriends and im pretty sure for both of them it ended awfully#idk what happened to the really particularly aggressive one who thought kaily said 'burn in hell'#but for some reason like 6 months later when she and her bf broke up she unfriended me on fb#i had never unfriended her in case she wanted to apologize at any point (i had hope... 20 year old nonsense again i was really naive)#but then yeah another 6 months later she and the other girlfriend (still in a relationship at that time) just blew up at me and some others#for like no reason. just bc we all stayed friends... w each other#like i promise u i never went out of my way to bother these girls in any way. directly or indirectly. they just had to say#'its been a year and i still hate you guys' like why. we were literally all adults. we didnt go to school together we never saw each other#we were all just frankly moving on but i guess they were not over it#the other girl whose relationship lasted longer had maybe the worse boyfriend? definitely the worse breakup#he abandoned her for another woman and kicked her out of their living space#she was literally begging on social media for help#and again that guy was a monster who did not seem to really love her. he's married to the other woman now#they have a kid together#idk where either of those girls are now bc basically all their friends abandoned them#feels like if they had chosen their allies better way back when we were 20-21 itd have been different#which is not to blame them. but like. i would not have let that happen to my friends#but the fact that anyone stood up for me when i was being bullied was 'starting drama'#and the fact that they all let their problems pile up until their lives are destroyed? well i guess thats just being civilized and mature#sorry if this is just sounding incredibly judgmental bc i dont think they deserve their situations at all#but i dont think their choices didnt play some role in their being eventually discarded by rotten fuckin men#they were pretty rotten to me too. poor things...
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my psychiatrist was trying to explain that a lot of my depression and anxiety probably stems from my trying to force myself into a (neurotypical/allistic) mold that i wasn't made for and that it's nothing to be ashamed of and she listed elon musk and bill gates as my fellow autists and that made me cry harder
#mia.txt#i wasnt like crying bc i was diagnosed with ASD it was more just crying cause i cry all the time now and it was a cathartic session#oh i forgot to mention it but god i cant even describe the weird feeling of being told im actually autistic (UNPROMPTED)#after like. wondering for so many years but being too scared to bring it up to any psychiatrist#so i was just like well maybe i am or maybe i just have adhd. thats ok im not too worried about it :)#and then i was just like talking about my sensory issues being exacerbated by my meds#and then she started asking me more questions abt my sensory issues and social problems and then she pointed out that i#had been rocking back and forth the entire time. which i genuinely dont even notice anymore like i was like oh shit i sure am doing that#and she basically went through the whole questionnaire and was like has no one really ever brought up the possibility that you were#on the spectrum. because you definitely are#and i was like 🤷🏻♀️ idk! im not sure#but it was probably pretty damning that the one other time i had gotten tested he literally gave up bc the questions were too vague#oh but anyway like no that doesnt help actually 😔#i really don't think its shame-based like i KNOW im Different(TM) thats not shocking to me#but i do expend an insane amount of mental and emotional energy trying to be Normal and pretend i am not autistic#the masking that is causing me so much stress is the very thing that prevented me from being diagnosed earlier lmfaooo
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Making a new farmer
His name is Niko and he will take up the in-game mantle of being Isaac's personal menace (He's thirsty for him)
He's friends with Haley and Jeric and is stupidly good with slingshot because he doesn't want to get close to the monsters. (He's trying to mine. Rude.)
Immediately works on automating his farm so he can do nothing the rest of the day. (He needs his beauty sleep).
Became a farmer for the ✨️ aesthetic ✨️ also because his grandmother was so pleased to hear he was given the farm. (He cannot disappoint his grandma). Grows exclusively fruits for wine and flowers because they look pretty.
#forget the ridgeside lore#his grandmother is alive and well and they talk daily#he's v gay but admires Camilla's vibe#basically went ick to all the pelican town bachelors because they're too young for him or not his type#alex sam seb? babies#harvey? no. just... no#elliott? pretty but not hot#shane? mean but not hot#victor? also a baby#lance and the rsv canidates? hot but not mean#jio? not into the ninja assassin vibe#Magnus? not against it but could be hotter#isaac? perfect#gonna start a run with him to romance isaac bc I can't do it with Skylar#Isaac always treats Skylar like a little sister when I rp as her in the chat#which is why I annoy him myself#but now I have Niko to do that#he's been brewing on my mind for a while but he has form now#farmer niko
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Update, probably won't be able to post much at all for this upcoming gp, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO THE GP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#basically before i even went on this study abroad i rly wanted to go to the austrian gp#because when in austria amirite!#but honestly it was the reason i actually went through w the trip#but then i had to end up writing it off bcs the logisitics were too hard to figure out#BUT THEN#literally the first day of the trip i hear this other guy talking about f1#so im like oh you like f1????????#and hes like yeah and im gonna try and go to the austrian gp!#so now we are both going to the austrian gp 🥹🥹🥹#i think hes probably happy to have someone to go w as well#and its nice bcs hes much older than me and much more responsible so he figured out everything 🥺#this weekend is gonna be just pure f1 weekend for me#bcs im also going to salzburg and seeing hanger 7#but god im so fucking happy#i cant believe it actually worked out#the coincidence of someone else being this into f1 as well and wanting to go to the gp#and also being happy to take me along and figure out all the details#THANK YOU TO MY NEW FRIEND I CANT WAIT 🥹🥹🥹#catie is: not mentally prepared#catie is: going to an f1 gp!!!#catie: still wants to gif the podium so maybe will try and do so on the train#but wow god still i never thought id make it to a gp so soon!#my brother is soooooo jealous 🤭#im gonna wear my rbr jacket!!!!!!!! im gonna break my bank acct!!!!!!!!!#*wait also its funny bcs my friend has been into f1 a lot longer than me right#but hes like my god you are the most committed fan I've ever met#like abt how my excitement somehow blew his out of the water hahaha#catie.rambling.txt
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play with fire by the rolling stones is my roman empire tbh
#^ u can tell yesterday i was listening to darjeeling limited soundtrack. also ive read lyrics only now#makes me think of rocco ngl. basically his core in the plot#they actually had it. rocco being around mafiosos but then he returns home#and cellings r low and walls r yellowish bc of niccotine n the floor is sticky#and theres his family and cat that doesnt actually live there she just visits often#at least smth good n warm there. actually i want to put him in a communal flat#bc i need some fucked up scenes in the kitchen (itd probly be so small)#no personal space etc#roccos grandmother is an ultimate oc i had to put a bit as a guilty pleasure since anna lily n eleonore isnth there#that one t shirt i didnt do that nobody saw me do that i want to speak to my grandma#just thought that its funny when ppl do m series ocs its most often gangstse related (big bravo)#my roman empire m oc is a grandma and roccos mother also. her husband went to ww1 returned wo leg and then just left#happy house many such cases. good for them vets in the family is a complicated thing#i try not to think how rus i make them all. but i always remins mslf some real stories my friend told me#bout life of his friend in italy w a family of her fiance. balabanov core#returnin to rocco n mafiosos “And the chauffeur drives your cars; You let everybody know;#But don't play with me; cause you're playing with fire' < yeah him#hes arrogant - quality that no one value. i thought that moretti needed an onbjective reason#not to take him into the family but the more i read & think; rocco's personality is enough reason already#and thing that concerns me a bit is that rocco appears in the plot relatively late; in 1927#tho hes only (*already. different treatment of age) 20 yrs old. but idk#upd. Play w fire fits him so well... Bravo
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If you could relive any memory of your past, what would it be?
HRM interesting question, I'm not really sure. My family used to travel when I was younger (and when the university my dad taught at was better funded 😅) so I'd probably say one of those memories! It also depends on how long of the memory I'd get to relive, and if I could only relive the specific bit that I remember. Because I went to Australia as basically a baby and have about half a memory of that, so if I could relive that but MORE of it, I'd like to. But if it was limited to stuff I have a clear memory of, it would be visiting a castle in Italy and then having gelato afterwards. Or having cioccolata calda on a rainy day with my dad's colleague! Or visiting that same colleague's house and having a homemade dinner with her family! When I think back on it that was one of the coolest "vacations" I went on in my life but I was only 9-10ish, so I didn't fully appreciate all of it.
Ty for the question 🫡 sorry if I rambled a bit, it was interesting to think about!
#basically we were able to go to some really cool places bc my dad would be teaching or attending a conference there#but he taught at a public university and at some point in the 2010s the funding got really shitty :/#happened to my elementary school as well so i couldnt go on all the cool field trips my older sister had went on and i was salty about it---#idk how much travelling would cost me now#and i dont know when ill be able to travel again considering i have to get like a job...#so reliving memories is the closest to italy I'm gonna get for now 😅#ask
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Wufjxjjsjdjd ok
#miranda talking shit#The dude really just went “well hey after we've slept together a few times#You may go out and sleep with others too. That wouldn't scare me away. It would probably be pretty hot“#Oh no silly goose lol... I need to have some kinda connection to want that...#And I'd not be thirsty enough to potentially ruin any friendships I got already#But it's cute you think I would bc wjfjjfkskaofkg no... Sharing is caring is all and that but I'd rather not actually#Now I kinda wanna talk about it tho bc he sounded like he'd actually like the idea so I'm curious#Meanwhile I've basically indirectly told him twice I don't want him to have anyone else fjajfnfkksnfk#Then again maybe he doesn't understand unless I say that straight out but 🤷♂️#In conclusion: you're willing to share me? Well I'm not sharing you so jot that down
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