#bc I am comparing myself to faster people

[frances-baby-houseman]

I ran my half marathon!! It was surprisingly great. I got a pretty good pr-- I took off a little more than 2 minutes from my previous best time, which is a lot for me!

I did not really have much of a plan for this one, other than feeling pretty good from my 10k in the fall and knowing I had done enough miles, especially since I had done a run the day before every long run, which adds up to a lot of time on your feet. I started around 8:50, and figured I'd just try to hold there, and I did! Some miles were down in the 8:30s, and one or two were in the high 8:50s, but I averaged 8:40 on my watch and 8:45 on the course (the watch clocked another .1 mile, which probably is right with weaving). And it was hard on my legs but not that hard cardio!! I felt really strong the whole time.

There is one section where you run down an enormous hill to the beach and then immediately back up the hill (about 100 feet of elevation and I did it in just under 2 minutes). People were FLYING by me down the hill-- I had to protect my knees and my mom bladder and kept it around 8:15-- and then I passed every one of them going back up the hill. I live at the top of a hill so I do have easy access to hill training. Carly Rae Jepsen's I want you in my room came on and I was just like, "Come on carly!!" over and over. It worked!

I also did a good job on nutrition-- I took a few sips of water (and rinsed my mouth out) at every water stop, and took a gel at mile 5 and had a date at mile 9ish. This is a very well-supported race, so you get water and gatorade every 1-2 miles and they also had Gu at mile 9. I

Anyway I finished really strong and had a lot of fun! It is a really surprisingly hilly race for chicago and all the strategy for the hills made it go very quickly. Idk what my next half marathon will be! I don't know that I want to spend every spring training for this thing!! My dad was like wow you're really set up now for a great half in the fall and I was like, fuck off! I was set up for a great half today! So anyway it was a great run and that was that. New PR at 1:54:40.

[dandyshucks]

i will attempt to explain it and people are free (and welcome) to tell me if i'm misunderstanding or speaking out of turn! also I have troubles with tone in writing when I'm trying to be clear, so please read this all in as kind of a tone as possible - there is no bad judgement in any of my words here, nor am i meaning to be patronizing, and I apologize in advance if I come across that way!

(also disclaimer that there is infinite nuance to this situation and I cannot possibly cover all of it, but I feel like maaaybe this is a main theme that people are possibly missing, and that it's causing issues)

but I think what I am seeing is there are vaguely two sides in the selfship sphere - I have labelled them as the "community-builders" and the "scrapbookers" just for clarity's sake; this is not an attempt to divide ppl. the community-builders want to build community and connect and interact with each other. the scrapbookers are just here to post/rb about their F/O as if they're gluing photos and text into a scrapbook and that's it, they're not actively seeking a community for themselves.

both of these things are okay and fine! neither of these sides are bad or lesser in any way, they are just looking for different things in the time they spend on tumblr. (more under the cut bc it's a long post otherwise)

I think some of the issues are arising from community-builders assuming that scrapbookers are ALSO wanting community but just not putting the work in. so to community-builders, the scrapbookers appear as if they're expecting interaction without putting in any effort themselves, but I don't think that's the case. I think scrapbookers are just not looking for community the way that community-builders are - they want two different things from their experience in the selfship sphere!

I think there IS occasionally an issue where some people expect or beg for interaction without actually interacting with anyone themselves, but in that case it is best to block and move on OR let the person know directly (and kindly) that they should try to interact with others if they want interaction themselves.

unfortunately it seems like a lot of knowledge around community building and upkeep is not well-known in the present-day, because of [gestures vaguely at our current societal structure and the way social media functions now compared to how it used to etc etc etc]. so I do feel that posts encouraging people to interact with one another are good and helpful and sometimes even needed, but they are not applicable to the scrapbookers. I wonder sometimes if community-builders see scrapbookers having fun in their own little corner and assume that the they must want attention but aren't getting any, so we end up with an attempted rescue situation where community-builders make a "let's all interact more!" post to try to drum up interaction for the scrapbookers even though they aren't actually wanting that.

i know for myself, while I do enjoy the circle of friends and mutuals I've made, I am not super community-oriented. I interact with my mutuals and friends because I like to do so, and I also welcome in new friends and followers with open arms, but I am never expecting interaction and rarely actively seek it out. If my art gets notes, great! But that's simply a bonus for me personally. So to think that some people might look at 0 note posts of mine and think "oh that poor soul! they must be desperate for interaction! i have to do something about this!", that... feels a little silly and even a bit presumptuous on their part. I'm okay over here in my corner, I promise! :] I'm just here to have a space to love fictional characters, and I don't feel like I necessarily Want attention for that.

and to clarify! it is okay to want community, and to want interaction. we just have different wants and goals from our time here, that's all. neither of us are wrong for what we want and neither of us are better than the other - we just have different things we're looking for in this part of the internet, and that is okay :]

i keep seeing an argument of sorts floating around every couple of months and i think maybe the reason the argument is happening is because people are not realizing they want different things out of this all

[beesmygod]

i'm a little jealous at how quickly you're mowing through these elden ring bosses but i guess i should have expected that from a more experienced fromsoft player! how does the combat/world feel compared to prior games?

im realizing its mostly a matter of knowing the "language" of the games so i know what to look out for. i've died 12000000000 deaths to learn the true secret of fromsoft games: swing the camera around to look for enemies waiting to leap out at you behind walls. and always check to make sure the elevator is there

it feels great! i have some small complaints but a lot of quality of life stuff they added is a godsend. they finally combined all the good parts of previous games without clipping off any beloved features.

pros: i really like the ash systems, i think they're fun and easy to understand. i understand fromsoft's insane, overly complicated leveling menus more than i think most people would, but i think they've finally whittled it down into something a normal person could reasonably come to understand. DS1 is like trying to read ancient sumerian, comparatively. everything about the map near perfect (i wish there was a way to mark things as "done" but that's like. it.). its astoundingly readable. the increase in "bonfire" locations is very appreciated. they did me a huge favor by cutting down on the repeat minibosses (so far) which was one of the worst parts of sekiro. the enemy and boss diversity is kind of nuts. i cannot believe how massive the map is and how complex it is. when i discovered there was a whole underground part i was blown away. despite these improvements, i do not feel like from is holding my hand; i like figuring things out for myself! i like getting verbal instructions from a character who expects you to remember what they said instead of giving you a fucking quest marker.

cons: (skill issue) dude i think they fiddled with the parry timing across games again (i was fiddling with ds3 before this) bc i am REALLY struggling lol. ALSO FIGURE OUT A CONTROL SCHEME AND STICK WITH IT!!!!!!!!! STOP CHANGING THE ESTUS BUTTON. MIYAZAKI'S WORST PRANK YET. i've also stated how amazing the game runs considering the sheer size of it all but twice now it's locked up on me to the point of crashing/near crashing. this might be an impossible to avoid hurdle considering im playing it on ps4.

also, critically regarding how fast i'm moving: its really getting in the way of comic. the faster i finish it, the less distracted i'll be. i needed a lark.

[popstart]

Ok, i Saw that post about you complaining about How Gw*ncan shippers are racist to Courtney.

Can you give one example of that?

I had to go through my blocked accounts list to get this shit and it made me wanna shoot myself 20 times in the head so its not gonna be 1000% comprehensive bc i think that would qualify as self harm. ANYWAYS.

the biggest one is the massive amount of double standards and hypocrisy these people have between duncan and courtney (+ gw*ncan and duncney. censoring makes me feel like a child but i dont want people finding this post when theyre looking for ship content)

when the white man is "hostile but theres more to him than that" and when people call the white boy a "horrible person but hes literally a child" but courtney (and sierra) should be beaten to death because theyre obviously unable to be complex characters or children. its a really classic example of expecting women (ESPECIALLY of color) to grow up faster than men and having higher expectations of them

another example of weird violence and double standards people have towards courtney while not caring about anything either white character has done. post not made by the same person but it is reblogged by them

and ive posted this before because it seriously baffles me but this is just such an extreme reaction to a character existing. also the constant comparison to animals and dehumanization these people push onto courtney doesnt get past me. like calling a character a cunt and comparing her/her fans to tapeworms. get real man

and sure. this could all be a gross exaggeration on my part because theres just no way all of this is meant to be taken 1000% seriously, its just such a weird pattern to see. people constantly praising two white characters for doing nothing wrong and for being perfect and happy and healthy (despite the show frequently showing the contrary) while completely ignoring and shitting on a 16 year old brown girl in entirely absurd ways. These people genuinely believe that gwen and duncan are innocent, with the biggest thing they takeaway is that theyre "flawed but still good and complex."

anyways do i find it accurate to call these people definitive racists/misogynists? not rly no. i just think its extremely telling how much they praise two white characters for being pure and innocent and doing nothing ever wrong when provided with textbook evidence that its not the case.

like you can love any character (or ship) you want but love them WITH their flaws and recognize that nothing is perfect. in 0 way am i saying that liking duncan or gw*ncan is terrible and awful and should be grounds for public execution and im also not saying that courtney is perfect and did nothing wrong and everyone should love her forever. im just asking for a mutual respect that doesnt seem to exist for these people. everything has flaws, but blowing out of proportion the flaws of things (or characters) you dont like gets very very icky and hypocritical when you turn around and praise something that had very similar fall outs

[onejellyfishplease]

Hi hi!! I have questions regarding snapdonnie (plant boy)

Can he talk? If he can what would it sound like? How would he try to hide this from his brothers if he does? Are your commissions open? Oh I wonder if he would just disappear. I imagine this is sensory hell for him. On top of having to eat bugs. eugh hahahaha I love this! He kinda reminds me of those mushroom zombies (/pos)!! What are your thoughts on him? I would love to hear more about this creature against nature (or with nature now, haha!!) I was originally here for open your wings but I have gotten thoroughly attached to the wacky Donnie fusions. Are you alright if people draw him?? How did you do this?? This is so cool!!! I love all of your Donnie designs but he is most definitely my favorite.

(Feel free to ignore, this turned into just gushing about him)

I was gonna keep going but it was going to get into weird unhinged cult territory really fast, hahaha!!!

Wow! Hi!

I will try to answer all your questions, me and @zeawesomeness were just throwing ideas around for SnapDonnie, so theres quite a bit to talk about!

What does he sound like:

I'd imaging real gurgly when he's like that, but he absolutely hates the sound of his voice, and the fact that most of what he says is muddled. So id say he mostly uses sign language to communicate. while he can still do that

How would he hide it from his brothers:

He would definitely try at the beginning! especially when it starts off as a small growth on his softshell, but eventually the consequences get too big and it gets revealed relatively quickly (at least compared to Open your Shell)

Are my commisions open:

uhhhh, not at the moment, but if there's enough interest in commissions for my art (which would be amazing) then i would be open to opening them!

Is this sensory hell for him?

Absolutely. especially now that flies are attracted to him. he hates it. his shell is consistently moving and it is hell.

My thoughts on him:

I live this creepy little dude. but now there is a little bit of trepidation with it. because now i want to turn this into a proper au and i need to stop doing this to myself.

More about SnapDonnie!

he was infected with this venus fly trap-like curse (from what I havent figured out yet, either kraang or mystic)

it started as a growth in his shell, which then sprouted those flytraps (which he couldnt hide)

the energy needed for the transformations makes Donnie ravenous, and the more he eats, the faster he turns. this is the part where his family find out.

yes he was compelled into eating raw (kinda rancid) meat.

they find out that this infection will continue until Donnie is fully turned into a carnivorous plant.

at the end of the transformation, Donnies face would split open and the single flower would bloom.

Small teeth-like spines are growing down the middle of Donnies face.

Donnie has to balance, starving himself without rotting/wilting (bc yes he does that now), while not eating too much that the transformation continues at too fast a pace.

it doesnt help that sometimes he goes feral (and his face does the splitty open thing), and attacks and tries to eat anything in his path. including his family. Ah yes. Angst.

so they need to figure out how to help Donnie before they loose him forever.

Okay I think Im done with ranting lol.

Can you draw him?

ABSOLUTELY!! please tag me if you do! in fact I am completely on board with you drawing anything from my aus! I love receiving fanart!

I think thats all the questions answered! I love asks like this lol, theyre always so fun!

[charles-leclerc-official]

Hi, Luci! I was wondering if raw pace just refers to outright speed/qualifying speed and race pace is more car dependent rather than driver dependent? I've seen people say that (not rlly season specific) Charles is on top/one of those on top in terms of raw pace but Max beats him in race pace, which is understandable considering that Max has had dominating cars, but people are making it out to be a skill thing? I think I'm missing something here bc the way I understand race pace is how consistent the car is rather than peak performance. And it's more car-dependent unlike raw pace.

Could you clarify this for me please? (And a bit of a bonus question if you don't mind, I'd like to know who you think in the grid are the best in terms of raw pace and race pace)

Well, this is tricky because pace does mean different things. There are different types of pace, and the confusing thing is that people will just shorten it to "pace"

Race pace: consistent times lap to lap. Good race pace is consistently fast times lap to lap without significant drop off.

Single lap pace: this is speed over a single lap. However it can also be expanded to mean a driver who is consistent at setting very competitive single lap times(usually in reference to qualifying)

Qualifying pace: basically the same thing as single lap pace, people often use those interchangeably.

Speed: the time of a lap relative to the rest of the field. Obviously the fastest single lap time would make a driver's speed the best, and a lower one wouldn't. This is reflected in both driver and car performance.

Raw pace: another one that is used interchangeably with "speed" and "single lap pace"

People often say "pace" when they mean any one of these things. I am guilty of doing it myself. But you will hear people say "single lap pace" etc etc. The way to know what they mean is the rest of the sentence, are they talking about qualifying? Then they probably mean single lap pace. Are they talking about the race? Then they probably mean race pace.

A lot of these words mean the same thing.

Both are skill dependent. I don't think one is more or less car dependent than the other. Both require skill to excel at, just in slightly different areas. And both are impressive.

You are right it is confusing.

The thing is that a diver can have excellent race pace, but if they are in a slower car that isn't going to shine as much as if they were in a faster car.

These things are both car and driver dependent. You obviously need a fast car to have a chance at setting really competitive single lap times, and you need a good car that doesn't have serious performance issues for good race pace.

Factors that are skill based that contribute to race pace: tyre management, throttle application, braking application, curb timing. Getting all of those correct consistently to maximize each lap is all skill. The car has to be there for the laps to be able to reach those super competitive speeds, but after that it's skill.

A skilled driver can extract a lot more race pace out of a mid car through tyre management etc. That's actually one of the reasons Charles has been competitive even in seasons when the car wasn't all there.

Race pace is usually more car dependent in a lot of ways, because a lot of these cars can be fast over a single lap, but very few sustain it.

The reason people say that about Charles being really competitive one single lap pace but not race pace is because they are looking at the number of poles he's scored and comparing it to results. People make the assumption that if you got pole and didn't win then it means your single lap pace was good but your race pace wasn't. And that's somewhat true but it doesn't tell the whole story, because there are a lot of reasons that are not pace related that drivers don't win a race. That and Charles has been in some very inconsistent cars(SF-23 being a good example) that had very good single lap speed but did not have the corresponding race pace.

Having good pace in both areas is 100% a skill thing, and it especially becomes apparent when you do teammate comparisons in the same machinery. Having bad pace can be due to a lack of skill, but it is more often due to the car. So it's kind of hard to gauge accurately.

The issue is that it's basically impossible to correct for the fact that these drivers are in different cars to really say X has better pace than X and by this much. We can learn things based on that, for example showing Charles had good pace compared to Max even when the car Charles was driving was nowhere near as good as the car Max was in, that tells us something. But it's not something that can be corrected for data-wise.

Doing teammate comparisons is more helpful in examining where a driver's strengths and weaknesses are showing during any given season.

The things about Charles is, when he has the car we have seen his race pace is extremely competitive. If the car is there he is capitalizing on that and going for the win. So we can tell looking over his career and accounting for more context that yes he has very competitive race pace.

Also I don't know who is saying this but Charles' race pace this year has been one of the best. There are previous years where the data didn't reflect that and it was due to the car more than anything else.

So it is a skill based thing, but with limits because a driver can be the best in the world but they cannot make the worst car suddenly go faster. It's really something you need to observe closely for over a long period, and understand that it's really hard to do a direct number comparison for.

To answer your second question.

Raw pace: Max, Oscar, Charles, Fernando, Lewis, Yuki, Nico, Alex

Race pace: Charles, Max, Fernando, Lewis, Lando

(this is probably not comprehensive and just off the top of my head)

[dreamii-krybaby]

your nori headcanons, hand them over

Wait. People are actually interested in my Nori HCs? Holy shit *screams in happiness*

Ironically I been working on a post dedicated to my Nori HCs! but am going to throw a “few” in here.

Nori Doorman! HCs 🗝️

(watch all of this get absolutely wrecked when we fully get to see her character alongside others.)

(Btw some of my HC are connected to my personal speculations)

• I honestly can’t see this woman being straight. So fuck it. She is pansexual now.

• I was thinking of HC her as neurodivergent! But not sure rn.

• Nori was named that way by herself because after she found out about sushi’s existence,and after finding out the algae used in sushi is called “Nori”, she later named herself after that bc she thought the word sounded cute.

• If robots could eat human food,she would definitely try all kinds of sushi or just the algae for curiosity.

• We canonically don’t know if Nori was a WD that had parents or was a WD who gained sentience. But personally I like to think she was one of the many WDs who gained sentience.

• She actually gained sentience when she was slightly younger and moments after the extinction of humanity.

• She was around her early 30s when she passed away.

• She met Khan before the WDF existed or when Khan wasn’t even considered a leader.

• They met while both found themselves in a pickle after trying to scavenge scraps for personal projects.

• I do think if they were WDs who attended high-school,they would have met after being paired for a school project.

• If Nori ever went to high school she definitely strikes me as a “shy nerdy geeky girl but gets super exited when talking about her passions”.

•Nori and Khan were roughly the same age when they started dating but Khan started to age physically more faster bc of overwork and stress after becoming the colony’s leader.

• Honestly Khan and Nori’s relationship strikes me as:

“Big menacing dog who is actually a goofball” and “Tiny black kitten who looks adorable but will commit war crimes if provoked”

• Honestly I can only see Nori’s and Khan’s relationship being so fucking wholesome,they were lovebirds your honor. Ofc before shit hit the fan.

• She used to spend time with the WDF and join in their card games!

• Nori was incredibly good at card/board games. She always somehow won when playing card games with the WDF. The WDF still let her join bc it was fun. (And bc she was their leader’s wife)

•The way of how imagine Nori’s voice is sort of a smooth and soft voice. Slightly monotone and a bit high pitch. Like her voice immediately gives “shy soft woman who also happens to be a mother” vibes.

Her voice does shift a bit when she gets really excited! (Or any strong emotion) Completely loosing her monotony and smoothness a bit.

The best voice claim I can think for rn her is actually Candace from Genshin Impact, just make her voice a bit high pitched.

Also fun fact! Candaces english VA (Shara Kirby) is the same VA of Serial Designation-J!

Another Voice claim i can come up is Andrea Storm Kaden!

She is a singer who performed in a lot of fan songs of video-games. (tattletail,FNAF,BATIM, Overwatch,etc. She did a lot of collabs with JT Music and I think a few with TryHardNinja.)

• She is actually shorter than the average WDs,but just by a few inches. She isn’t an ant like Uzi.

• Her hair is much more longer and a few shades lighter than Uzi’s.

• Her eyes are also much saturated compared to her daughter’s eyes color.

•She also has cute lil chompers! Tho they dont look the same as the DDs. They are smaller and shorter,Uzi inherited that trait from her.

• Uzi’s necklace actually belonged to Nori.

• When Nori got her hands on this necklace and started wearing it,she never took it off.

• She definitely strikes me as someone who is into cottage-gore.

• She is a goth mom,thats it. Like and old-school goth mom. (Like she is more into the “feminine” part of goth,if I can explain myself)

• She constantly wore black dresses. The one she wore the most was a simple off shoulder black dress with short sleeves and frills on it. It was made from a very thin and light material. And it had a purple flower pattern on it.

• She wore this dress while wearing black combat boots (Like most WDs) and her necklace.

• She had a pair of black combat boots but this time her boots lace was a purple color.

• She also had a WDs jacket! And occasionally wore it. It was purple.

• One of her many hobbies was painting. She didn’t do it all the time,just occasionally. Khan still kept some of them hidden away.

• She was definitely one of those girls who would see true crime content.

• She would sometimes put screamo music when cleaning.

•She definitely listened to grunge,goth,metal music

•She isn’t much of a singer but she can hum pretty well!

•She hums when doing chores or when comforting Uzi.

•Uzi’s and Nori’s love language would definitely be touch. I can see her humming as she caresses Uzi’s head,as Uzi lays it on her mother’s lap. She did this whenever her kid had a rough time.

•Nori was the only person who could calm Uzi down whenever she went “feral”.

•Uzi would probably be more close and vulnerable with Nori.

• Nori is probably one of the most softest/chillest person. But make her really pissed and honey you are dead. (May or may not be literal)

• Whenever she is just angry but not necessarily pissed she is more a cold,piercing kind of anger. The kind to stare into your soul and makes you question all your life choices.

Note: Btw I theorized she was related to the AS and actually had it since EP2! So have some of that!

• She was covered in scars,bumps and dents,but she mostly covered them up with her clothes or the AS did the job healing the scars. Or she covered them up by literally painting over herself.

As to why she had these scars? Well lets say she got herself into questionable and dangerous situations.

• She would replace a lot of the broken mirrors that she would break with her AS in her house,in secret.

• She would occasionally use her AS when doing chores.

EP3 spoilers!

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Note: We don’t know if Nori consumed Oil whe she was alive,since I theorized she had the AS. But I have some HCs if she did:

• Sometimes she would arrive at her home,alone or when Khan was sleeping. Wearing long forearmed-length black gloves, laced up with purple/white lace.

• She would carry a dark colored bag (that looked like those tote bags but is was bigger and the material was much more thicker) that leaked oil at the bottom.

• Her dress would have dry or fresh stains. She also reeked of oil.

• She started out as frenemies with Yeva,but they later became besties.

• The 2 would hang out a lot alone.

• Nori constantly visited Yeva at her house,but she never invited Yeva to her house. Since Nori was always sort of messy, and she was self conscious about that in the past.

• They both would probably talk all kinds of things.

• She would definitely teach Yeva 1 or 2 things about her AS powers,since Nori has more experience with her AS abilities than Yeva.

• Nori would sometimes speak russian to Yeva. Meanwhile Yeva would speak English to Nori. Just for the funsies.

• Nori actually met Baby Doll at some point! She even held her.

• I always thought of Nori as a more artistic oriented woman but EP3 seems to make me think of her more of the scientific side.

• So she is a bit of both but her artistic side is showed more often than her scientific side.

•Nori personally customized her own necklace and helped Yeva with it when it came to her bracelet.

Side Note: Ok wtf that was more than I expected jesus. Anyways yeah this is just like 5% of my interpretation and HCs if Nori…yeah I am

✨mentally not ok✨

[oldcoyote]

murphels replied to your post:

you are not taking it away from someone who needs it bc you are a person who needs it. having to berate yourself into not eating isnt “helping” you its making you feel even worse.

i'm talking about people who need it to not die. my medical situation is unfortunate, but not dire compared with most people who genuinely need the drug to survive and have quality of life. and the berating seems mean, i know, but it does work - it stops me from eating, which i then feel better about for resisting, instead of ashamed and angry at myself for binging.

ceeturnalia replied to your post:

i have been taking one of these drugs (not ozempic but a similar one) for about 18 months and it’s not like. a magical fat melter okay? that’s not how it works even if it sort of looks that way from the outside. part of the way it DOES work is creating a satiety effect. so even if it were true that your whole “problem” is willpower, these drugs sort of give you that willpower? i still want to eat when im hungry but i am full faster and im not eating out of boredom or self-soothing. and when the urge to overdo it is reduced, suddenly there’s room in my brain for other stuff. i can enjoy other things. it didn’t cure my original brain damage (i had a very scary depressive episode last year just for example, ugh) but it helps create space, idk how else to describe it. i can and do sit down with a pint of ice cream when i want to, but the desire isn’t constant and it is *easily satisfied* and as for what other people might say, you know you can just tell them to fuck off and die, right? you have that option right now. even if you don’t go for the drug, you can exercise the FYYFF option as often as you want

that's very good to know, and changes my perspective on the drug quite a bit. that kind of help would be amazing, i can't deny. i just feel a degree of frustration that i can't do it on my own. after an entire adulthood of being obese and everybody in my life knowing that i'll never be strong enough to fix it, i wanted so badly to be strong enough to fix it without "cheating" (in their eyes). i wanted to prove them wrong

i am very much afraid of what other people think at all times and god i wish i had the strength to not care. i would give anything for that. it would change my entire life, to just stop having other people's opinions of me be the most important thing about me. i just don't know how to do that. no therapist seems to be able to figure out how to help me do that, either.

i will keep thinking on it. knowing more about it is incredibly helpful and thank you so much for being so honest boo the fact that you're on it changes a lot for me in terms of the way i think of it. 💛

[vikmonkey]

(context I'm currently over 6 weeks on t and I forgot to post this. at the time my area was experiencing wildfire smoke.)

I am 24 days on t! I wanna talk about some stuff I've noticed! (reproductive talk below cut; readers discretion is advised)

Two to three weeks in, my t zone (brow and nose area) got increasingly oily. My hair oils faster. My acne is starting to pick up. Regular face washing with CeraVe hydrating face wash typically does the trick for me.

I already had facial hair due to genetics but it's filling in. Areas with no facial hair have clear/light baby hairs. The rest is getting thicker and darker.

I don't know if it's the shit air or t but my throat is a bit sensitive. I've noticed that I feel more comfortable speaking in a lower range. Like the retired theater kid I am, I sing alot in my car. Ive been using this to judge my vocal range(what range of notes someone can hit) for me Agoraphobia by Autoheart is perfectly in my vocal range. I don't feel like I'm straining my voice to hit low or highs in that song. I still have a higher pitch but those notes feel more comfortable. (Was a higher note end baritone to now solid baritone) My vocal cords are likely starting to shift and I'm more likely speaking and singing with my cheast rather than my face/throat.

I've been trying to go to the gym regularly to work on my hip dysphoria. I've made myself a gym routine focusing on that and other masculinizing exercises. Typically when working out people do get a release of endorphins which does make the brain feel good. This in combo with t doing what it does with fat redistribution has made me more confident and less insecure. I still physically have the same shape but the brain chemicals are chemicaling and I do feel better overall.

Before starting t, my dysphoria physically felt like my skin was weird. A loose feeling, like it wasn't on right. In general I actually feel like my skin is starting to fit me. I can stand up straight and walk with freely. I was told by a friend that I look like I physically look more relaxed. And I am. If you're just starting out I know that anticipation. Your constantly looking to see instant change but it takes time. I'm only 24 days in and I still generally look and sound the same. It's the little things to take pride in.

NO ONE TOLD ME MY ENTIRE PELVIC REGION WOULD CRAMP! I'm exaggerating but really, due to intense period pains, I had to go on depo provera, a injection based birth control. With this birth control my periods have ceased. I had experience lighter and occasional cramps in the same spot. Since starting t my plevic region (and I do mean the anatomical cavity) cramps. It's dull but my original intensity. Realistically it's bc my body is physically changing stuff compared to my cycle just being stopped. I will be talking to my obgyn about it.

[woozi]

helluu yza <333 🫂🫂🥰🥰🥰

i've been doing good overall <33 it comes and goes hddjkd last year ended up leaving a sour taste in the mouth, it's been quiet since 2024 started, not liking it but can't do much to change it either, can you tell i have a hard time letting things go lmao?it'll eventually get sorted out (i hope)

ANYWAY, i decided to join letterboxd community, i am a complete movie person now (if you wanna be moots there lmk), the recent one i watched was "call me chihiro", do watch it when you can, i liked it, AND AND AND there's this indian movie called "three of us" (2022) i'm still recovering from it, people who think 2521 was traumatic wouldn't be able to handle this movie at all, it's about this woman going back to her home town with her husband for a visit after something happens to her, to recollect herself and she meets her childhood friend there 😭😭😭 IT'S LIKE PAST LIVES MOVIE BUT ALSO KINDA DIFFERENT. i love both of them equally. please do watch it if you can't find link i'll send it you <333 there's too many gems i've been finding out about after making an account on letterboxd. ( also i finally watched kiki's delivery service, i had been meaning to but kept delaying it, it's soo good, the kid with specs annoyed me lmao but i got over it quickly (in the sense that i didn't care much about him or his plot hdjskss)

we can always pick up our movie hangouts, feel free to lmk on disc or even if you want ro reach out to say something 🥰 it'll reach me faster compared to here im not much of a tumblr girl anymore it seems

what's new with you? how are you doing?

i hope you're well

i find myself humming to wait so much these days, it's funny because when it was released i listened to it and then never looked back 😭 ( fake carat booo fake ot13 booo 🍅🍅🍅🍅) now it stays rent free in my mind as i go about my day, the dance break towards the ending is so so good, i've been also enjoying yugyeom's album esp summer blues it's so my kind and OMG YES I WANTED TO ASK WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON BIBI'S BAM YANG GANG? 🎤 (atp i feel like i should call myself bibi stan)

thank you for even replying back even though you don't really have to hddjsk i missed you too 🫂 you're so kind to me always <333 sending you more peaceful and good weather days, i hope you are also finding space and time for pausing in between the chaos around you 🥺💌

MA CHERIE 🥺🥰😻😘😚😍♥💜🧡❣💝💞💟💌❤💛💚💙🖤💓💖💗

i'm so sorry to hear that :(( and if it's any consolation, it really is as they say!! all things really will come to pass, it's just a matter of time <3 hope u know i'm always here to lend an ear as well i lov u 🥺

ALSO LOVE LETTERBOXD REALLY IS A FILM GIRLIE EXPERIENCE FDJKJFDJKFD i unfortunately dont have it (shame on me as a prev film major LMFAO) but i'd love to be moots i'll create an acc for u <3 ALSO LOVEEEEEEEE THESE RECCS I'M TAKING NOTES!!! also still dk why 2521 was So Sad for people, i really loved it and just thought it was realistic 😭 AND KIKI'S!!!!!!!!!!!! that was also super fun for me and i loved jiji's little love story line SOOO MUCH

also felt abt that </3 I WAS ALSO JUST GONNA TELL U ABT DISC GJKFDKJFDKJ we really r soulmates atp <33 think i've also been away from tumblr since jan of 2023 now 😭 i honestly just come back during times when my love for the sebongs is Monumental and bc there r svt nets who still dont have admins 😭

the past year has also been super rough for me so i really get u when u said u hope things will sort themselves out soon FDJJKFD but i'm sure it will on both our ends!! that's just how life is sometimes. thank u for checking up on me <333

ALSO SO REAL ABT JUST CHECKING OUT RELEASES AND DIPPING DKJSJKDSS I LOV U SM!! AND I REALLY LOVED ITTTTTTTTTTTTT, think it showed a v different side to her <33 ((although the lyrics are Very Much still bibi, it's just the melody and presentation that gave her a new spice)

AND WHY WOULD U EVEN THANK ME 😤😤😤😤 i should be thanking YOU for the gift of friend chip <33 hope the days r also kinder to u, i'd fight ur demons if i could 😡 LOV UUUUUUU LET'S HANG OUT AND WATCH MOVIES AGAIN TGT SOON <#3333333333333 MWAH

[bplm3]

2018

Stop feeling pain.

[carpisuns]

do you ever get discouraged by social media? like the fact that a lot of interactions can never go beyond the surface level since you won't get to meet a lot of people irl or the fact that numbers seem to matter so much to how others perceive you? hope this isn't too heavy, just curious to hear your thoughts

hey, sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this! but yes, i definitely know what you mean. social media can be a strange and disheartening space to be in because it's all about perception and not often about truly knowing someone. we all kind of have a version of ourselves that we put out there for the world to see, and it's not necessarily a completely false image, but it's also not the full picture, you know? and in a fandom space like this one, it's mostly built around a single interest or group of interest, which is great for surface-level bonding with people but not necessarily for a deeper relationship. so it can feel hard to build truly meaningful friendships sometimes.

i've been fortunate tho to meet some amazing people online that i now consider some of my dearest friends and closest confidants. it started with bonding over a shared interest, but then we found that we had more in common and started sharing things outside of that one interest and talking about our lives and supporting each other in both our hard times and good times. i feel really blessed and lucky to have these friends in my life, whether we ever get the chance to meet in person or not.

i'm not sure if you're actually looking for advice about this, but if you are, mine would be to just be kind and positive and enjoy interacting with people, and that may naturally lead to deeper friendship. that's how it's worked for me, at least. kinda depends on what your vibe is and how you prefer to interact online but i've made friends by sending asks/messages to people to let them know how much I enjoy their work and by hanging out in discord servers to chat about fandom stuff as well as general-interest stuff. might be a good place to start!

and as for numbers, yeah, that can be frustrating too! i'll be totally honest—i used to care way too much about numbers. at one point it lowkey became an obsession for me 😩 i'd be constantly checking to see how many followers i had and how much attention my posts were getting and i got too invested in watching the numbers go up and too frustrated when they would stagnate and most of all just too focused on comparing my following with other people's. it was especially bad on instagram bc everyone's follower count is on public display and art tends to get a lot more attention there, so i grew way faster and i also watched other people grow at like breakneck speed and leave me in the dust and i would get jealous,,,woof.

but there came a point when i realized that my focus on numbers was not healthy or enjoyable for me and it was making my fandom experience stressful and bitter rather than fun and chill. so i took a little break for a few weeks and really tried to gain some perspective with it all and it helped loads!! i mean i won't say i don't care about numbers at all anymore haha but they definitely don't have the same hold on me. my growth both here and on instagram has slowed down a lot but i honestly don't mind at all and actually may find that preferable haha. idk im just satisfied and comfortable where i am and what i find most fulfilling in fandom is my friendships and my interactions with other fans, not really the individual attention that I get. it's been nice to take the pressure off myself and not worry about performance and instead just kinda vibe lol. like i used to stress when I didn't post new art for a week, but now i just make stuff when i want to and let myself take my time and post when i'm ready instead of rushing out of some self-imposed sense of obligation.

i totally get people's desire to grow a bigger platform, especially creators who have professional ambitions, and it's awesome to celebrate with them when they hit milestones. but i hope that no matter where any of us are, we remember that our worth is not determined by our online following. and also that we are all just regular people with blogs! I think there's a tendency to treat bigger names in the fandom as like pseudo-celebrities or something (i've definitely been guilty of that ), but at the end of the day we're all just big nerds who like talking about a cartoon lol. it's nice when we can all just support each other and share content and discuss ideas and stuff without making people feel unduly pressured bc their following (like putting them on a pedestal, demanding a greater output of content, etc.) or making them feel lesser because of their lack of one. fandom is about community, not competition, and your contributions are valuable even if they get less attention that someone else's!

ok i feel like i've just rambled a lot, sorry lol idk if any of this was actually meaningful/helpful to you but i wish you the best and hope you feel less discouraged about this! 💜

[hanymelon]

Semi Hiatus

Eyyo. Just letting you all know that im taking a break from posting art for a while. Unless i somehow get my shit together faster than i expect, i wont be posting art for maybe a week or two? Ill still be around tho, probably just rebloging stuff. Thanks for sticking with me till now! See you on the other side

Just a little vent under the cut to let yall know whats going on because like,,, im sure a lot of people have felt this and i think some of you can relate especially the artists that follow me

Ive been feeling really worthless recently, especially in my art. Its really stupid and doesnt make sense but i feel very replaceable and just worthless when i know there are other artists who do what i want to be able to do but they are astronomically better at it than i am. Yknow what i mean? Like... "even if i stop drawing, it wouldnt matter bc theres already so many other people doing what i do way better than me." "People can get the content i want to make from somewhere else with higher quality" lol. And i know its a stupid mindset to have and if someone else told me that i would be like "bro it doesnt matter, just draw what you want" but like,,, this is where my mind is at rn and i cant help it

I think the root of it is that i rely a lot on the feedback and reception that my art gets and i tend to compare myself to others without me even realising that i do it. I think i just need to learn to do things for myself again. To find the joy in just creating and not uploading it and just do it for me. Hopefully, ill get a grip on myself soon bc it does feel like im slipping away. I know a lot of artists go through this bc ive heard a lot of stories about it. But if youre feeling like this right now too, lets get through this together ok? Haha

Once i do feel better and get my shit together tho, ill come back hopefully stronger and better than the me right now. Wow ive never been this vulnerable online before lol dhhsgsk

Tldr: i desperately need therapy

[firstaidspray]

WIP Day!!!

Tagged by @confidentandgood !! Not sure who else to tag bc I know a lot of times people can get very busy and not be able to catch up to them 😅 so I guess consider yourself tagged if you want to play!!

Mine is a little piece of the fic I'm currently working on where Nelson and Juliette finally start to form a relationship after so much time of mutual feelings that remained unresolved, but after the events of Flatliners, Nelson finally gets the courage to speak out to Juliette. Literally dying twice and coming back gives you the courage to do things you'd normally consider terrifying, like asking out the girl you had a crush on, because that's nothing compared to intentionally medically inducing death just to be resuscitated.

As usual, nobody had taken the spot on the bench at the piano, so Juliette took it. She shrugged out of her thick, pink cardigan and threw it over her backpack on the floor. Flexing each wrist by pulling back her hands, she then put her fingers on the keys and sighed before closing her eyes and beginning the song.

Juliette found herself lost in the music, all of her life and energy focused in her fingertips. It was only natural that a rather harsh tap on the shoulder scared her out of her trance so badly that one hand crashed against the keys and the other formed a fist, but she gasped and held back the fist when she saw who had knocked her out of her own little world.

"I've heard people talk about you playing, but I've never heard it myself. You're very talented, Miss Chrysler."

The compliment and tap on the shoulder came from none other than Nelson Wright, the man of Juliette's dreams, who was perched on the bench next to her. The afternoon light made his neatly styled blond hair glimmer, as if it was spun from gold. The beautiful dip in his lips made them look so kissable, especially with how close Nelson was to her…

"Nelson! Oh, uh, I mean, Dr Wright!! Dr Wright, uh, thank you," Juliette stammered then giggled, twirling a strand of her black hair around her finger and batting her lashes. "You…you liked it?"

Nelson's sweet lips formed a wider grin, and his icy blue eyes stayed locked with Juliette's. "I did like it. What song were you playing?"

Her face was now dusted with pink, the hair around her finger being spun faster and tighter as she continued to twirl. "Ah, it's…um…it's Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, Movement One. It's the…It's the only one I can remember by heart," she said this while cupping her own face and casting her eyes down. "I have a whole binder of sheet music for other songs, but I left it back at my apartment. I needed room for school stuff, with finals and all, y'know?"

Nelson nodded. "I understand. You are the top student, it's no surprise you'd rather carry around study material. Not that you need it, considering you've always had the top scores in the nursing program."

Juliette smiled, biting her lip as she did so, and avoiding looking at him. "Ah, don't bring that up…I already get enough of hearing that from the teachers around here."

"I hear about it from the teachers, too," Nelson said, leaning and placing his hand so that one of his arms was behind Juliette's back. "They always talk about how you should just come join us, that you've got the brains for it. Why be just a surgical assistant when you could be the surgeon?"

Juliette's breath caught in her chest when Nelson's arm moved. "I, um…I'm more of a follower, not a leader. Like, I want to be in on the surgery, obviously, but I don't want to lead it. I need a surgeon to guide my hands, y'know?"

Those perfect lips of his formed a smirk. "Well, if you don't want to become a surgeon, I am, and I'd be glad to guide your hands if you were my first surgical assistant." He eyed her hands, which were once again poised over the keys on the piano, noting how small they were, especially compared to his own. "I bet you wear a size 6.0 extra small glove, don't you?"

The question was so specific and strangely intimate that Juliette made a small squeak before responding. "I…I do…they're always having to bring in boxes of extra smalls just for me. Nobody else in my class wears them. It's kind of embarrassing, to be honest."

He shook his head and gently took one of Juliette's hands in his own, which made her freeze up, laying it on top of his so that their palms touched. The size difference was incredibly noticeable, which both Nelson and Juliette did find cute, but the physical contact was much more distracting than the comparison. Nelson knew he was getting under Juliette's skin, and Juliette felt as if she could melt right into him. 

"That is…that's a pretty big difference in size," Juliette said nervously, slowly dragging her hand off of his, instantly regretting it, missing the warmth of his palm on hers. "I would be glad to have your extra large hands guide my extra small ones in a surgery."

[phantaloon-books]

(some) Riordanverse characters (bc I never read TKC) and which Hogwarts House I think they would be in

Warning: this is a long one

Nico: the dude is definitely Gryffindor without a doubt. Like Sorting isn't about some traits and some characteristics, it's about core personality. He may have gone through some of the roughest stuff when he was 10-12, and he was resentful and bitter, but he was brave and bold af throughout everything he did. From learning about his powers, to using them relentlessly despite knowing how exhausted he is afterwards, to his willingness to do whatever is necessary to do what has to be done, because it has to be done. You can't change my mind that he's Gryffindor lol.

Grover: Do I even need to explain why he's Gryffindor? He's a satyr, and even if we're shown strong satyrs, they're not really supposed to be brave fighters. Yet he is one of the strongest, bravest nature spirits we've ever encountered in the Riordanverse, and one of the bravest in general. Like he's so passionate about doing what is good, he's a hero, and the only thing he doesn't match with common Gryffindors is that he's humble and as far from arrogant as could be possible, but it doesn't take his courage away.

Hazel: She's Gryffindor, and core personality-wise, she and Nico are very much alike. They don't ever think about themselves, like Hazel really always does what has to be done, no matter the cost, I mean she literally died preventing Gaea to rise the first time, and she freed Thanatos while believing he would take her back to the Underworld. She's brave af, and she has one of the most strong willpower we've seen in the Riordanverse. She's a passionate hero, and she's the closest thing to a real knight in shining armor.

Lester: I'm gonna place him in Gryffindor because I don't think he fits in in the other houses lmao. That said, as Apollo he's very shitty, but as Lester, he's one of the most courageous people. He's grown so much, he's so willing to actually do stuff now, and sacrifice everything to do what's right, including his life, even if he doesn't know he's gonna survive. Hell, he really went most of TTT with an incredibly painful wound that nearly turned him undead, and he cared more for the future of Camp Jupiter than his own life. Additionally, he's a bit arrogant and cocky, but he truly means well, I love Lester so much.

Clarisse: Look look, all I have to say is that no one could have pulled off less than half the stuff Clarisse has done, she's so Gryffindor it hurts. She's reckless and impulsive, but she's driven by her passion to do good, even if she's the daughter of war, and was bullied by her own father. She's daring, she's bold and she is the hero. She's also arrogant and thinks she can solve everything by herself, something characteristic more of the canon Gryffindors in the books, rather than what the fans have shaped. In fact, she's very much like Gryffindors in the books, who are actually very rude to other houses and think they're the best. Still, at heart, she's in this house.

Alex: I'm in a huge dilemma about where to put them, but I reckon they'd fit pretty fine in Gryffindor. Not only are they daring and courageous, they're proud of who they are, but not in a too full of themselves kind of way, rather in a 'I am who I am, and if you can't accept me, fuck off' kind of way. They can get carried away rather easily though, and very arrogant, thinking they don't need anyone else, when they do in fact need some company. They are one of the kindest and at the same time most ambitious characters we've met, but they are brave beyond understanding in a very personal way, thus, Gryffindor.

Percy: I think it's fair to say he'd be Hufflepuff, because loyalty is literally his fucking fatal flaw, and he is the kindest sweetheart to all those who deserve it, he goes out of his way to help those who need help, whether that be mortals, halfbloods, gods, magical creatures or even his own enemies. He's too good for this world, and even if he's grown a bit bitter, he always looks to fight justly for what is right, and never loses faith in others. That, and the fact that he turned down immortality so that the olympians were more inclusive of minor gods, and their children were treated better. He's just a lovely soul, he's like 80% Hufflepuff so that's enough for me. All that and he's stubborn as hell.

Jason: Hufflepuff. Just, undoubtedly Hufflepuff. Like he seems to be this cold and self centered hero with a superiority complex (bc of all the son of Jupiter stuff) but he's the softest guy there is. Not only is he hardworking, open minded and kind, he appreciates justice but he doesn't seek for revenge or anything, he makes sure people are treated fairly and wants everyone to be accepted. Proof of that is how he continued Percy's job of including more gods, and made sure Nico felt comfortable with who he was. He truly has a heart of gold. (He deserved better btw)

Meg: God I can't decide between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, but I think I'll go with the former. She's so strong, my baby, she's faced so much wrong, but she's still so kind and understanding of others, especially those who deserve kindness. She puts up such a hard facade, but she's so patient and warm and inclusive. She's brave and strong (as strong as the big three kids, if not stronger), but she's also so loyal to her beliefs despite how she was forced someone else's beliefs for years, so I'll keep her in Hufflepuff. Also, she's stubborn af, and she can be lazy, so that settles it.

Will: I KNOW some people will say Will could be in other houses that are not Hufflepuff, BUT I won't have it any other way. Will is literally the warmest person ever. He is kind and sympathetic and enthusiastic and patient and inclusive. Like Helga Hufflepuff would take one look at him and lose her shit screaming "mine". He's the guy who saw the son of Hades so many people were scared of and immediately grabbed his hand and transfered him some warmth and didn't let him go ahead and get himself killed. He's also the one who everyone loves and likes, so much that Clarisse gets along with him and he can calm her down. He's the ideal Hufflepuff, you can't change my mind.

Magnus: I mean, what else can you expect from the son of the god of summer? He's literally a guy who heals others with warmth. He's also the guy who spent years on the street with the most difficult situations, and accepts every single person the way they are. He's inclusive af, and tolerant of everything. He's the guy who's closest include a deaf elf, a Muslim valkyrie, and a black dwarf, and he's dating a genderfluid person. Yes he's brave, and he's kinda smart, and he's ambitious, BUT none of those qualities overpower his Hufflepuff nature.

Piper: Kinda debated whether Gryffindor or Ravenclaw fits more, but in the end I went with Ravenclaw. Even though she isn't a fighter, she's very very brave, yet her bravery isn't compared to her wits. Like others in the PJOverse, she wins her fights by outsmarting her opponents, but unlike others that's one of her strongest traits. She's witty and creative and a little on the negative side, she really struggled to work in a group rather than by herself. On another note, she's able to keep calm in crazy situations and come up with the craziest most unthinkable solutions (I'm talking borderline ridiculous) that always somehow work. She's not booksmart, but she knows so much about everything, and she's lifesmart you know?

Reyna: Why are some of these so hard? Deeply debating whether she'd be Ravenclaw or Slytherin. In the end I'd go more for Ravenclaw though. Reyna's smart as hell, she's strong and sharp, and she always sees the best way out of a situation. She's witty and observant, being able to keep her cool in battle and lead others in the best direction. She's always looking to grow, and she prefers to do things on her own, but she's a great leader. She has some Slytherin qualities, and she's not learning as learning oriented as others, but she's definitely Ravenclaw.

Sam: Let's face it, Sam has the only active neurons in all of MCGA, she's definitely Ravenclaw. I'm gonna be honest though, I've only read MCGA once, so I can't remember much of their personalities, but Sam is witty and clever, pretty much the only one who can come up with competent plans, while the others rely mostly on luck and whatever plan they can cook up in 5 seconds. She's loyal and true to who she is, and she's extremely courageous and proud of who she is, but her sharpness is what she stands out for me, which is why I put her in Ravenclaw.

Annabeth: I know the obvious option is Ravenclaw, but I genuinely think she's also Slytherin. Yes she is booksmart and wise like Ravenclaw, but her personality matches Slytherins' ambitious, cunning and resourceful nature. She's smart as fuck, but she's calculative, she always finds a way to end up winning, and while she does so by outsmarting her opponents, she wouldn't need to outsmart them if she weren't so competitive. I feel like there's this 40/60 odds on Slytherin rather than Ravenclaw, but it's that small difference that counts. Plus her leadership skills are so powerful that people don't ask, they just know she's the boss.

(Also just picture the sweet and loyal Hufflepuff boy with the strong and cunning Slytherin girl, like it should be as opposite as it is with Poseidon and Athena, but they're so cute)

Leo: Idk what you can expect that's not Slytherin. This boy is the embodiment of ambition and determination. Reminder that not all Slytherins are bad btw (I'm slytherin myself), but like he's life smart and cunning, and he can analyze situations faster than anyone else. He's charismatic and talented, and there's no one to stop him from triumphing. I don't have much to say, I just know he'd be in Slytherin.

Rachel: She's kinda a difficult one, and I struggle between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and tbh I'm still not sure. But I think I'd place her in Slytherin, because even if she's brave af (especially since she was a mortal fighting in a war out of her power), her main trait is her determination. When she's set on something, she gets it done. You can't tell her she can't do something, because she will find a way to do it. She's kind, and she's only a mortal, but she still has incredible power unlike any other. I don't think I can really name it, but I think she'd be put on Slytherin with much difficulty from the Sorting Hat.

Luke: Where else could Luke possibly go? On the meaner side Slytherins have created themselves, Luke would be part of those misled by who preceded them, by those who want to take advantage of their mistreatment (bc let's face it, Slytherins are mistreated by both students and Hogwarts staff), and turn them cold and bitter. Luke is ambitious and manipulative, being manipulated himself, and it comes easily because of his natural charisma and talent. He's very freaking determined and cunning too. He'd fit right into Slytherin, but he'd be viewed as one of the rotten lot.

Thalia: I don't have much to say about this, but Thalia is the girl whose fatal flaw is their desire for power (or smth along those lines), just like most Slytherins. She's ambitious, she's smart, she's truly talented, she stands out between the rest, and she knows it, and she actually kinda likes it.

(Also I put Annabeth, Thalia and Luke in the same house because they're all kinda similar, even if their beliefs and postures are different.

Frank: Ngl I'm having more difficulty with Frank than anyone else. I'm kinda torn between Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. I literally can't choose. He'd fit perfectly in any of them lmao, I just can't decide where he'd go. You decide this one yourself.

Please keep in mind, this is my personal opinion and my take on the characters, and not all of you will agree, and that's fine! You can let me know what you think (kindly please, don't come at me), and if you want to, send me an ask on a character you want me to do the same as these (as long as it's not TKC, I'M SORRY I haven't read those) go ahead, don't be shy!

[lesbian-dp]

Royally Fucked

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 2,271

Warnings: Misogyny, frustration, bath sex, strap on sex... p sure that's it.

Request: Yah.

Summary: The Queen will always be your world.

A/N: Just an FYI this is obviously set in the medieval times, so the reader is pretending to be a man, bc they’re a Knight. Just wanted to let you guys know that.

18+ ONLY.

“-A woman cannot rule on her own-!”

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, near enough seeing your own brain, before you tuned out the dull drawl of the aged man.

His Royal Highness. Howard Stark. A pompous old git, who rules his kingdom with an iron fist. The man, who was currently ranting in front of each kingdom’s officials. All because, he was trying to wed his son, for his own selfish greed. And you. The Queens General and secret lover had to be there to witness it.

“I’m sorry you think that, you Highness.”

Ah! There she was.

A small smile tugged at your lips, hearing her husky voice.

Glancing out of the corner of your eyes, down to where Natalia sat regally beside where you stood.

God.

She was gorgeous.

How you ever got so lucky, is beyond you.

Her red layered dress, lined with the finest gold thread, the world had to offer, pushed her soft perky breasts up. Giving you a fantastic view of them, from where you stood above her. Your agile eyes were soon drawn to her plump, moving lips. Watching Natalia’s plump, moving lips. Watching them intently, remembering the look of them clasped around the crystal toy strapped around your hips. And the way they felt gliding across your wet core. How soft they were against your own lips. Moaning into your mouth, in a telltale way of what was about to come undone.

Spoiler alert! It was you guys!

Realising you had probably been staring at her beautiful self for minutes too long. You repositioned yourself, placing a hand upon the hilt of your sword, and staring blankly at the wall of the meeting room, in front of you. The door within your eyesight, able to see any and all newcomers, should they arrive.

“However, I would like to remind you of which of us are in their bankruptcy.”

“How dare you-?!” His face grew red with rage, light grey moustache and hair clashing, terribly, with the raspberry hue it had taken on.

“Watch your tone while you are speaking to the Queen,” you ordered.

“And I’d watch your tongue!” the King argued back.

Natalia placed her hand gently upon your leather-bound arm, just as you opened your mouth to shout a reply. Glancing down at the red-headed Queen, she shook her head, and you knew to hold your tongue.

“I’d rethink about who you appointed to be your head Knight. They’re obviously lacking in some basic training.”

“With all due respect, your Highness,” Natasha began, an entirely fake smile drawn upon her face, ��My General is of the highest order. They live by the highest standards. And I respect them and their opinion. I can’t help it if you expect everyone but yourself to watch how they speak.”

“Now, General?”

You turned to face Natalia. “Yes, your Majesty?”

“Would you be so kind, as to personally escort King Howard from the castle. I think we have all heard enough for one morning.”

“It would be my pleasure.” You gave her a half bow, before moving towards the infuriated man.

***

Huffing, you slammed the door to the quarters the Queen had “gifted” you with. Reasoning that it would be better for her safety, if you were close by, in the castle. The royal quarters being only a few doors down from your own.

You kicked off your dirt-covered boots, as you threw your ornated sword across the room, and into the wall, in frustration.

“Well, that wasn’t very nice.”

The voice to your side made you snap your attention to it. You knew that voice. You loved that voice.

There she sat.

The Queen.

Her legs were crossed, hands folded upon them. Watching you from her place on your bed.

“That sword was very expensive. And a gift from myself, if I might add,” Natalia said, the corner of her lip up turning slightly, as she cocked an eyebrow.

You sighed. Taking a step towards the red-headed Queen, you said, “I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

She waved you off.

“I don’t care about the sword,” she said, “I care about what has gotten you in such a foul mood,” Natalia finished with a pout.

You knew how bad she wanted to make you feel better. How much she hated seeing you any other way, but happy.

“They’re incompetent fools.”

Natalia smiled at this.

“The Trainies?”

“Oh, no!” You shook your head. The memories of your day, attacking your mind. “Not just the trainees- If anything, they’re better than most of the men we have now.”

The Queen stayed silent as you spoke. Listening to you intently, her face the only give to any reactions. Namely being a tick of an eyebrow, sometimes even both, and a roll of her eyes.

You drew closer to the beauty that is the woman you have devoted your life to serve. And now to love. However secret that may be.

“I swear. If we ever have the unfortunate luck as to be thrust headfirst into a war... I am afraid we might not survive.”

It was quiet for a moment, as the Queen debated her words. Right now, she was not Natalia, your Natalia. The woman who told you she loved you at the dead of night. The one who called out your name during the throngs of passion. The one who was soft to touch. Who’s skin was perfectly smooth against yours.

No.

This was the Queen.

All business, and took no shit.

The woman who did what she had too for the good of her kingdom, to keep her people safe.

“What do you need?” she asked, finally.

“I don’t know,” you sighed, now only a step away from her, “Time?” you asked simply. Before breaking out of your stress-induced trance. And closing the distance between you and Natalia. Placing a gentle, but firm hand upon her shoulder, you said, “But let’s not think about that now...” You leaned down, to be eye level with her. “I want to spend some time with, my Natalia.”

The Queen smirked at what you called her, it quickly turning into a soft smile.

“I think that can be arranged.”

“Good.”

And with that, you lifted the shorter woman up into your arms, beginning to make your way out of the room.

“Now, I think, after the long day we’ve both had, we deserve a bath.”

***

The water was a milky white, red rose petals floating upon the calming water. The same water that swayed with every movement.

Gasps and moans filled the air, as the wet red-head bounced upon the blue crystal that was almost always strapped against your hips.

You said because it helped in making people believe you were one of the opposite gender. But mainly it was because of how much you love the availability to take the beautiful Queen, whenever, and wherever you two so wanted.

One of your bedchambers.

The throne room.

The dining room.

A random palace hallway.

Hell.

Even in the royal courtyard, if you so wished.

You watched Natalia’s silky wet body move on your lap. The water gliding against her body, her hair wet, and nipples pert. With your hands on her hips, helping her chase bliss. Then continuing to slide along her glistening body, pulling her closer to you.

Natalia panted as you left open-mouthed kisses all along her neck, them travelling up to her cheek, and finally her full lips.

With your arms wrapped tightly around her, one around her smooth shoulders, and your other around her waist. Pressing her against your body, as you kissed her earnestly, pouring everything you felt for the queen into that one kiss. Natalia’s arms wrapped around your neck, as she fucked herself onto you, kissing you the very same way.

“The bath’s starting to get cold,” you mumbled against her mouth.

“Then we should hurry, so that we can go to bed.”

“To sleep? Or...?” You rose your eyebrows. Once. Twice. To convey what you meant.

“Or.”

You smiled brightly at her.

Your lips were around her nipple in the very next second, sucking with enough power to make the Queen cry out. Causing her to buck her hips into your lap, faster than ever. Riding you like one would upon a station, on a long journey. Chasing her realise.

She jumped back in surprise when your hand connected with her small bud, rubbing away at it, but she soon continued to drive the object deep within her “sinful” hole.

It was not long after when she cried out in pleasure. Throwing her head back and crying out to the Gods.

Once Natalia had recovered, merely breathing heavy, with her head tucked into the side of your neck, you spoke.

“Let’s get to bed. Huh?”

***

Sat upon your calves the royal silky sheets rumpled beside you. Natalia’s legs thrown over your hips, and your hands gripping hers. Rutting into her. Drawing out her beautiful sounds.

How the powerful Queen could be reduced to this, you did not know.

You were only thankful that she chose you to reveal this secret side of herself too. Knowing how closed off she was to the world. If she even showed a thread of emotion, like she wanted too, on many occasions, other than her cold and calculated, yet caring self. The surrounding kingdoms would be out for blood.

More than they already were, that is.

“My lord, Natalia,” you husked, “You are beautiful.”

And she was.

She was beautiful, no matter what.

But right now, she was especially stunning.

With her hands gripping yours on her hips, her flushed chest rocking with each of your thrusts. The sweat, and remaining bathwater, making her body shine like the sun. Her mouth parted and gasping, and her eyes heavy-lidded.

You could go on and on about all the things you loved about the woman below you. For an eternity if you could. However, you were in the middle of something, as Natalia reminded you.

“I’m all yours, Y/N,” she spoke softly, “No one could ever compare to you.”

“Nor you, my love.”

Your hands on her hips tightened slightly. Helping her to lay in her stomach, Natalia moving to grip tightly on the silky pillow, pressing her face against it.

Her legs straddled tightly against yours, ass in plain view. The crystal resting on Natalia’s slick, wanting heat.

Groaning softly, you spoke, “There are no words in this world or the next, that could convey how much I truly do love you.”

The Queen hummed softly at your admission, her shoulders moving, and then relaxing with a sigh.

Your hands gently brushed down her silky back, until they reached her ass, caressing the plump asset.

“You were crafted by the God’s,” you said, adoration clear in your voice.

“Then why don’t you make me see them?” she replied, smirk upon her face, as she wiggled her ass to tempt you. The toy rubbing against her core.

And she did tempt you.

Of course, she did.

Pressing down on the crystal, you watched as it steadily disappeared into your loves throbbing head. Natalia moaned, as inch by inch, it vanished within her. Brushing against every crevice, drawing her high-pitched whines when it hit the special parts within her, bringing the Queen utmost pleasure.

With your hands now on her ribs, you slowly started to thrust into her. Working in drawing moans from her.

“Oh, God!” Natalia cried.

“Can you see them yet?” you asked playfully.

“Not quite,” she replied, matching your pants, as she backed herself u onto the toy you fucked her with.

“Guess I’ll just have to go harder.”

The bed was creaking below you, as you worked harder to pound into the woman you loved. Natalia's grip on the white pillow, patterned with red, tightened as cries poured from some unknown place, deep within her.

“Fuck! I love you, baby!”

“I love you, too, Natalia.”

She was close. She was oh so close. You could feel it every time you moved. Every time you pulled the crystal from her depths, only to push it back in, with vigour. It getting harder and harder to do.

“You’re close,” You stated.

Natalia nodded vigorously in agreement. Going to bite against the pillow.

“Don’t do that,” you told her, “I want to hear you, when you arrive.”

At your request, Natalia unclenched her teeth and allowed the pleasure-filled noises to pour from her mouth.

One of her hands snapped to one of yours that lay on her ribs, it surely leaving light bruises in their wake. Gripping at your hand, as she got closer to her much-anticipated release.

You couldn’t pull your gaze from her pleasure-filled face. Her hair sticking to her forehead, and around her ears. You knew that this would be her last orgasm, for a little while.

Pressing kisses against Natalia’s neck, jaw, and cheek. She came with a powerful cry. The hand not holding yours, came to grip the back of your head, fingers sliding through your hair, as her insides tightened around the toy.

You let her ride out her realise before you pulled from her.

With a tried sigh, you flopped down on the luxurious bed, besides the blissed-out royal.

“How you doing there?” Natalia nodded at you. As to say she was okay.

She came to cuddle into your chest.

Your hand was combing through her slightly damp, sex mused hair when the Queen spoke.

“I think it’s about time we came clean to everyone, about our relationship.”

“What?” you asked, shocked.

“Marry me.”